#i stayed here for an extra 2 HOURS WHEN I DIDNT NEED TO

[mxltifxnd0m]

someone needs to shoot me in the head PLEASE

my late class got cancelled at 4 and i didn’t check my email until 15 minutes before the class started

so now i’m gonna cry as i drive home in traffic:))

[cumulo-stratus]

“Lend Me Some Vanilla?”

Pairing:spencer x Baker!reader

Description: Y/n goes to spencers house to ask spencer if he has any vanilla extract when theres a possible gas leak and no ones allowed to leave their aparment until the morning when someone can come check it out..

Warnings: fluff, one eensy weensy curse

Flufftober Day 14: Locked in/trapped

A/N: ik the "Gas leak" is shit but I couldn't figure something else out I'm sry guys😭😭

"knock knock knock" 

Spencers attention was pulled from his book by the sound a of a knock at the door. Wondering who it was- Spencer hoisted himself from his comfortable spot on the large leather couch to answer the door. 

“creakkk”

as the light of the hallway bled into the much more dimly lit apartment, a man in sweatpants, a white shirt that read “bad-ass baker” is a rainbow font (u know the meme font im talking abt), and an apron with bits of flower and egg splattered over it.

“hi im so sorry spencer- but i really need some vanilla extract- im on my last batch of cookies and i ran out. I would ask if it wasn’t super necessary but since i had to close my bakery because its under renovations right now, so to make money i’ve been doing orders and making them from home and i need to get these cookies done tonight im so sorry-“

“i have vanilla..”

spencer cut off his neighbors rambling, silently inviting him inside while he fetched the vanilla.

“thank you so much by the way, i can make you something as thanks!”

y/n stood awkwardly behind the couch, eyes surveying the room. spencers back was to the common area, his arm outstretched to reach the top shelf of the kitchen cabinet. Spencers body language was comfortable, as he and y/n had been friends since he moved in 2 years ago, and he knew the baker well. spencer knew him as the neighbor with silly shirts and a bakery, and the neighbor that gave him the extras that didnt get sold at the end of the day in little plastic take out containers. 

“Oh no its okay the leftovers from your bakery are thanks enough”

spencer said with a chuckle, and y/n laughed too. And just as spencer was walking over both y/n and his phones dinged from the pocket of y/ns apron and the coffee table where spencer had left it when he got the door. Y/n pulled out his phone, seeing a text from the landlord. As y/n read his face fell, getting the attention of spencer and causing him to ask;

“What? Is something wrong?”

“check your texts- Larry sent something about how we cant leave our apartments..”

The look on spencers face was one of confusion, and he grew even more confused when he read the text detailing that no one was to leave their apartment- at any cost because of a possible gas leak, meaning they had to send people to check in the morning- but until then Larry didn’t want to risk it. 

“soooooo.. what do i do know?”

y/n looked to spencer for guidance, wondering what to do. spencer didn’t quite know either, but being the rule follower he is he decided the best course of action was for y/n to stay. He also knew the statistics of gas leaks and how dangerous they could be- so he wasn’t taking any chances. 

“well, i dont know how safe it is to be in the hallways right now, its probably best if you stay here until morning, or at least for a couple hours until Larry can get someone in here to check it out..”

now if this was most anyone else y/n would’ve just declined and held his breath while he walked the 10 feet to his door down the hall, but this was spencer. And much to no ones surprise, y/n had been crushing on the FBI agent from afar for 6 months now. He was in love with his style, his apartment (from what he’d seen), his face, his hair. Y/n had a tendency to romanticize things, just ask his friends, and this was the perfect opportunity. So when spencer proposed he stated over night just to be safe, y/n agreed almost immediately.

“ya i should probably stay the night, just to be safe you know? And by the way, if im staying over night do you mind if i put my apron in your kitchen? i dont wanna get flour on your couch…”

spencer chuckled and nodded, using his chin to point towards the kitchen where y/n could leave his dirtied apron. After y/n left his apron splayed out on the counter, abandoned spencer chuckled at his shirt, which was now visible. When y/n noticed spencers laughs he looked at him confused, following his line of sight, and he was met with his shirt. 

“oh ya- my shirt? i got it as a joke gift from a friend- and i couldn’t help myself”

they both chuckled at this while y/n moved across the room to join spencer where he had taken his spot on the large leather couch back. Y/n plopped down next to spencers, sitting as far away from him as he could without it it being awkward- or at least more awkward than it already was. because little did Y/n know but spencer had been simultaneously admiring y/n from across the hall. And when y/n suggested they watch a show spencer took the opportunity to do away with the awkward silence, suggesting Doctor Who. y/n almost immediately agreed, taking the remote from the coffee table and handing it to spencer to pull up the show. 

Once the show had started, the lights of the TV screen illuminated the room while spencer pulled a blanket out of a basket and spread it out over both y/n and himself. And unconsciously y/n scooted closer to spencer, hoping for more warmth from the soft throw. Or maybe more warmth from spencer, who knows..

After a couple episodes, y/n eyes were beginning droop as he had been up since 5 am, baking. Spencer- the ever profiler- noticed this. But despite the fact that y/ns blinks were gradually gaining length each time- he kept shifting a little bit, trying to get comfortable. And now if it had been a couple hours ago when y/n knocked on the door then spencer would’ve never done it, not in a million, billion years. But now they had been talking and watching their show for at least 2 1/2 hours now, spencer giving facts and corrections, y/n giving opinions, for the pair to then debate upon. And spencer felt confident enough to invite y/n to lean on him.

“ you know, if your tired.. then i dont mind if you wanna lay on me- you must be tired…”

“ya- how did you know..?”

Y/n’s voice was that of someone who was already half asleep, the constant sound of the tv lulling him to sleep before spencer could even answer. But spencer didnt mind- he loved admiring y/n, his face so incredibly peaceful. And he thought to himself, ‘the cookies can wait till morning’, before soon doxing off himself.

The End 

[thegorysaint]

Long Time No See

Hello everyone! I'm finally at the tail end of the rough month I had (and years).

 I wanted to get back to streaming today but i think i will take a couple extra days and start on Tuesday. Now I will explain what happened, so if you are not interested in that you can skip the read no problem : )

Mid May I got a really bad case of gastritis that lasted for 3 to 4 days, meaning, I had really bad stomach ache, I honestly dont remember but i probably ate something too spicy. Then after that week on a Sunday at 2 am I got what i thought was an allergic reaction to some ham and salami. I went to the ER when I started feeling itchy all over and my face swollen.

I stood around the ER for about hour and a half and I was not getting treated, so i just decided to go at the drugstore for at least some allergic medicine, i was feeling better on the way home but as soon as i was pulling up I felt bad again, i was really tired, it was almost 6 am so i went to take a nap to rest and let the medicine work. I woke up an hour later with a rash all over my arms and itchy all over my neck and chest. I googled to see if there was a 24/7 doctor nearby and luckily there was one.

After explaining everything I got a shot for the allergic reaction and some pills to take the next 3 days. Omg, it was so bad, at that time i didnt know the shot should of taken care of the reaction, so i thought it was normal and was gonna go away with the pills. The rash was going away little by little the next couple of ways but still very itchy and visiting the bathroom too many times during the day (not the good kind of bathroom visits).

After going to the same clinic but different Doctor, i was diagnosed with Food Intoxication, not food poisoning or allergic reaction, I had a fever that i didnt notice. So they were gonna give me antibiotics pills but i asked to get the injections, because I know antibiotics are really bad for my gut and i was already at my limit with the bathroom visits. Luckily the Doctor said ok and i had to take only 3 injections, 1 each day, and some pills in case i felt more pain or fever. Literally 40 minutes after the first injection i felt great, no pain in my stomach or guts, it got so relaxed that i was able to burp and without feeling nauseous for the first time in a week.

I was finally so relaxed that i was able to sleep a full night. After the 3 days have passed i was feeling so good, better than what i've felt in the last couple of months. I was able to eat without wanting to puke it out as soon as it touched my mouth, and the bathroom only saw me once a day. Funny thing is, my brother came for a surprise visit so, while i was still recovering physically, he helped me to recover mentally, he stayed for a week and by the end of it i was feeling so good and full of energy (even tho I was under the sun sweating my butt off a couple of days).

He left before this past weekend so i've been just recharging my social battery. I was feeling so good i got into the pool a couple times to just relax, pretty much I had a vacation week because my bro was here (totally making me want to go to my hometown again but the heat is worse there for some reason).

So, for now I just need to get my energy back and not let the bad energies to return, I'm trying to focus this week on getting my sleeping schedule back to normal (something i fixed before i got sick), and trying to get in the rhythm of drawing again. I want to get some stuff before I go to visit my bro for a couple of months around mid August or September but I really need to sell some stuff I dont need. Also kinda making plans to move to Japan as soon as possible, the forecast for my country is not good with the election and if the new term people have it their way, Mexico is heading to a really bad place.

I wanted to visit USA before going to Japan to visit friends but obviously I havent been making enough money to save up, so unless i win the lottery that aint happening because my mom doesnt want to go to USA for whatever reason. That means I will start fully focusing on getting on track with projects so I can afford a living.

Sorry for the delay of all my stuff, last year was really bad mentally and physically for me, and sentimentally was devastated for the second year in a row, now I will try to focus on not getting attached to people for a while and just work work work (dont worry, that just means im not going to search for a romantic long term relationship, specially not long distance online)

So, I apologize for my lack of professionalism and I really appreciate your patience, it really means a lot.

https://www.patreon.com/posts/long-time-no-see-105561594

[personifiedmachinery]

Making whipped cream; A Saga.

I had a lot of heavy whipping cream + orange flavored milk that i needed to use. So i decided to see if i could use the milk to flavor whipped cream.

The internet was acting like it couldn't be done. No matter how i worded my search, i came back with nothing. But i didn't want the ingredients to go bad! I have a stand mixer and nothing to lose, so i took matters into my own hands and decided to experiment. I knew it had to be possible. And i was right! It takes a few extra ingredients than your standard whipped cream but i made it work.

Of course, i first put my mixing bowl+whisk attachment in the freezer. Most recipes say to do this for 15 minutes. Well, immediately i forgot about it, ate dinner, and sat watching tv for maybe around 3 hours. This is fine. Honestly.. i say the longer the better. Makes the bowl stay cold longer (maybe, i don't actually know. But my brain says yes.)

I had exactly 3 cups of whipping cream. I added 1/2 cup of the orange flavored milk. My recipe asked for 2 cups of whipping cream and 1/2 cup of powdered sugar. That's about a 1/4 cup of sugar per 1 cup of cream, so i increased it by 1/4. I realized my milk may also count in this so i added another 2 tbs (half of 1/4 if you weren't sure). For a stabilized whipped cream you need about 2oz of cream cheese. I didnt want to increase this much as the flavor of cream cheese can be overpowering. So i put in maybe around 3oz. And then i got to mixing.

Normally when i make whipped cream it takes maybe 5-ish minutes to whip up. But 5 minutes came and went with little changes. It was at this point i realized my flavored milk was not actually whole milk as i had initially thought! Whole milk is needed because the fat content is essential to make it whip. To fix the fat content of milk, you need butter. But i couldn't find a ratio for the small amount i had. So here i measured the butter with my heart. I added maybe 2-3tbsp. I can't be sure. Then i kept mixing. Time passed. It's been another 10 minutes and sure, it's thickened, but it hasn't whipped. I was considering calling it a fail and just using the extra thickened cream in milkshakes or as a coffee creamer. But hey, the evening is young, and i have nowhere to be. I kept going.

My last ditch was adding a bit of cream of tartar. Just about a teaspoon. Yes, it adds a tang, but it's already orange flavored so who would notice, really? Not i. I threw it in. Another 5 minutes with only nominal thickening. "Damn," i think. "Maybe it really can't be done?"

But i'm not quitter. Or at the very least, i am extremely stubborn before quitting. "It has thickened!," i say to myself. So i continue mixing. Another 5 minutes, i'm watching it so closely now. And finally... it whips! A glorious moment and it whips up thick, and fluffy, and delicious!

Admittedly it's not quite as airy as when i usually make it, but it formed peaks and holds shape, and that's all i can ask for in a whipped cream. And of course, because i am an adult and can decide what i eat for myself, i put a nice helping in a bowl and ate it alone like a wonderful fluffed, pudding dessert. Could i put it on a cake? Sure, but i don't have a cake right now, nor was i willing to make one as the entire endeavor took around 30 minutes. While i do have mostly an abundance of time, i do lack stamina. So i'm calling it mousse now and feeding it to everyone because it's delicious.

Now maybe all of this would've been obvious to others, and they could have just avoided the whole kerfuffle and just put the cream of tartar from the beginning, but it was not obvious to me, and maybe for a lot of others. Especially because i could not find a single recipe with flavored milk added in.

For those who would like to do this, here is the recipe:

3 cups heavy whipping cream

1/2 cup flavored milk

2-3 tbs melted butter (skip if the flavored milk is whole milk)

3/4 cup + 2 tbs powdered sugar

2-3 oz cream cheese

1 tsp cream of tartar

1 tsp vanilla (optional honestly, i sometimes forget it)

Chill your mixing bowl and attachment for 15 minutes (or a few hours, whatever). Mix the cream cheese and powdered sugar until creamed. Then throw in everything else. I like to mix it around medium speed for a little after added the liquid just so it doesn't splash everywhere. When it's more creamy, turn the speed on high. Wait. You want soft peaks and it should hold shape when you scoop it with a spoon. Have patience, but keep an eye on it. Don't overmix. Enjoy on whatever you like whipped cream on or on its own. I'm not your mom.

[pbandjesse]

I could feel better right now. My stomach hurts. I feel so dehydrated even though I keep sipping water. I just had kind of a rough day.

I didnt sleep amazing. I woke up a lot and had weird dreams. So when my alarm went off I told James I needed to sleep more and gave myself an extra hour. It helped a little but pretty quickly it would fade and I would feel bad again.

I tried really hard to be positive though. James left me breakfast so after I got dressed I warmed that up. And packed a little lunch. I had some juice but it didn't make me feel much better.

I drove to camp. And very quickly started to not feel well again. But it also makes me feel stupid. I don't want to have to keep asking to go home. I want to be able to work. But when there is nothing for me to do I just feel miserable.

There were positive things today though. It was my dad's birthday! He's 70! Incredible. And it's my parents' wedding anniversary! They got married on his birthday so that he wouldn't forget. And it's Friday the 13th. And the start of my 13th week of pregnancy! Which means baby is now a peach! Or a kiwi. Depends on the app you check.

I tried to let those things make myself feel better. But it was hard. I would had some things to do though which was something. I spent a few hours going through all the private schools in an hour radius and finding emails for history, science, and social studies teachers. This turned out to be a ton of work because not every school has a very good website design. It was hard to actually get emails. But I got a really good amount and I was happy about that.

I would also work on my alphabet drawing. I made files with every letter. So that's started at least. And I would send some emails and poke around online.

I had lunch around 11. I told everyone about our appointment yesterday and seeing baby flip around and stretch. It was nice to talk about it.

I wasn't feeling great though. And went up to arts and crafts to take some materials to put away. And spent a good amount of time laying in the hammock. I just wasn't feeling good. But I wanted to stay until at least 2. I laid in the hammock for a half hour. Just trying to feel better.

Eventually I went back to the office. And Heather had two tasks for me. Finally. And I would spend time researching private schools in York that we can email. And updating the email blast with the more accurate Native American Field trip stuff. But then I had stabbing pains in my boobies and was just like. Okay I'm done. And said goodbye.

I stopped at 711 and got a snack. And only got stuck in some traffic for a little bit. And was home right after 330.

When I got back here I was excited that my package had come. I purchased a baby carry wrap. Which not shocking is way to large on my torso but is perfect for James. I didn't realize that its flame pattern in one side and crane patterned on the other. Really cool.

I laid in bed for a long time. I didn't really leave bed for the whole evening. I would lay down and wait for James to come home. And when they did they had a gift for me too!

They got me the special Japanese Calico Critter seals!! I was so excited. They are so soft and I'm excited to add them to the doll house.

James would try on the carrier. And we found a tutorial video on how to wrap it but our guess ended up being correct. James would practice with a weighted plushie. I thought it was so sweet.

James made us dinner. I had a quesadilla and a hashbrown and a scrambled egg. Which was probably to much food because I feel all swollen now. But thankfully I didn't feel nauseous. Just swollen and not great. I'm glad that eating is easier. Everything doesn't go to a pinpoint and I think I'm going to black out. I am thankful for that.

I took a shower and washed my hair and gave mostly just been laying down. James has been hanging out with me. Sweetp too. He wants to lay on my stomach so much and we have to keep blocking him from doing so and he doesn't understand. My poor baby.

I am really hoping I can sleep easy and feel better tomorrow. We have the market all morning and then we are having dinner with Jules, that girl I met a few months back. I am hoping to just sleep all afternoon and be in a good mood for that.

I hope you all had a good day. Wish my dad a happy and healthy birthday. I love you all. Goodnight!!

[cavefairy]

work (and also just. everything) sucked today wough. rlly rlly long vent under cut ig

tbh we shouldnt have even been open its a fucking holiday. it wasnt even that busy all things considered, but we were wildly understaffed (there was literally 5 of us in the entire arcade. which is the minimum we need to function. so already Not Good) and i was exhausted after staying up late last night. so i get there 20mins early, stop n chat with the person on dark ride (bc hes super nice and rlly good to talk to and i like working w him. he went home when i clocked in tho), and im having a decent day at that point. we had taken down the christmas stuff in the morning and toast had been extra vicious bc ig she wanted to play w all the ornaments n shit, but anyways. i kill time, then drop my shit under the golf shack counter and clock in. i havent even been in redemption for 2 minutes when one guy is like 'hey [person at laser tag] wants to know if youll head over to laser tag' and im like 'yeah okay' and i go over there and that person is going on her break. and the other person that was on laser tag swaps to dark ride. so im by myself, which isnt allowed, we have to have 2 people on laser tag at all times. so that... wasnt great. the other person thats supposed to be at laser tag was a few minutes late, but they were there in time for me to run the game that needed to start. so we're doing fine, we're alternating games, and then im like 'hey, im gonna take over dark ride when their shift over there is up' and the person with me just looks at me. and now im getting nervous like i fucked up. and they say to me 'well whos gonna be on laser tag then' and IM CONFUSED bc they were scheduled for laser tag and i dont understand what they mean. so i responded 'arent u scheduled over here' and they say 'yeah but i was gonna go to redemption with [person who had asked for me to come to laser tag] after her break'

and at that moment. im like. oh. we're gonna play musical shifts bc you two wanna work together. got it. so i dont argue it anymore bc i have a game to run and we cant discuss it anymore at that time. after i came out of that game, the guy who was on dark ride swapped with the person who was on break, and he went to redemption. so im still at laser tag with the same person. and we go back to our alternating games and talking shit abt the schedule bc HOLY FUCK. we cant be doing this with only 5 people. anyways, we do that for a while and then the person on dark ride asks if i can close it tonight. and im like yeah okay, i hate doing it but i can if i need to. and then instead of waiting until closer to 8 so im only there an hour, the guy that had started at laser tag comes back and asks me to head to dark ride at 630. so the person at dark ride goes to redemption, that guy goes back to laser tag, and everyone is technically where they were scheduled to begin with (dark ride is a 'you sign up for a shift during whatever ur scheduled for' so with me being technically scheduled for redemption i was also kinda supposed to swap out for dark ride at some point). and i hatehatehate dark ride. its loud. i need my earplugs in order to be near it. thankfully i usually have them, so i was okay, but i was running it for 2 and a half hours. 630 to 9, and we close at 9. it didnt go awfully, everyone that came thru was rlly nice and it was fairly chill. but then closing happened. now, one of the 5 people that were in arcade was one of the leads. i love her dearly, shes awesome, but she was scheduled to get off at 9, so she didnt help w closing stuff.

so the 4 of us remaining closed the whole arcade. i did all of dark ride's stuff, and gathered all of the arcade trash. and therein lies the biggest source of holy fuck i cried. because. not only is that like, 10 trashcans, but i kept running out of trashbags. so the first trashcan, it had soda in the bottom. no big deal, i just have to go dump it out and clean it (running a bit of water w soap into it and swooshing it around, and then drying it with a rag). okay, great. i get that, get thru a few more cans, and have to wash out another. the second one, i accidentally get some of the icky cleaner-water on my jeans and one of my shoes (my favorite sunflower slip-on vans). so that rlly just. put me right on the edge of my breaking point. i get thru the rest of arcade's trash EXCEPT for laser tag, and i run out of trashbags. all of them. and im like well what the fuck do i do now. so i ask the manager thats supposed to be closing us out (i like him, hes nice), and hes like 'go see if [place over by bowling area] has some'. so i go take 3 of their 4 remaining trashbags (had to grab one for the person who was cleaning the bowling area, she needed one), and take my 2 to laser tag to get their trash. lo and behold, a third trashcan i have to clean. im fucking DONE at this point. i cant do it anymore. my eyes start watering, im stomping into the kitchen to go clean it, the manager comes in and is grabbing something and i just. id started ranting out loud and tbh i dont think he minded i think he understood why but i was just like 'im done im quitting i cant do this anymore. i cant do it. today fucking sucked im done i cant do this' and then i started crying. the first time, anyway. hes nice abt it and he just gently asks me to turn the lights off when i leave the kitchen and its FINE its GREAT i take the now-clean trashcan back to the laser tag area and go to take the trash to the compacter. and man. there is a bigass pile of bags and boxes in front of the garage door where the compacter is. so i open the door to dump the trash in, and wow. the compacter is full. and not working. so i cant do anything. i go back, ask the manager, he says to just leave the trashbags on the pile and bring the big trashcan back to where it goes. so i do. and im upset and im done and im holding it in and he comes over to dark ride while im grabbing my bag and the walkie and he asks 'are you okay ?' and i just. snapped. i wish i hadnt said it the way i did but i just went 'no !' and the tears started up again. i was full-on fucking SOBBING at work. the person id been at laser tag with, one of my favorite people, she comes up to me bc im heading into redemption to put the walkie away, and she asks whats up and walks with me and lets me vent at her for a minute, and on the way out she stopped me and told me to breathe and talked me thru most of the tears and hyperventilating enough for me to talk clearly again. she hugged me and just let me cry for a sec and then made double sure i was okay to drive, and then we parted ways at the door. i headed to walmart cos i had to get stuff for my car (gotta change my oil this weekend), and walking around helped. i got a snack and things were alright for a while.

yeah. something else had to go wrong. abt 15 mins out i got a fucking flat tire. i live an hour from work. i was 45 minutes from home. and i stop, i look at the tire, yep its flat, and get back in the car to call dad. no answer. call mom, she answers. i apologized for waking her up, told her i had a flat, and she woke dad up to come take a look. she talked to me for the whole 45 minutes it took him to get to me. i ate my snack, told her abt work, and finally dad showed up. i let mom go back to sleep, and he looked at my tire, and yeah. it was unfixable, at least in the dark. hes gonna have to go rescue my car and take it to get new tires tomorrow (technically, today. all the car shit went down at 11pm. its currently about 130am). we just got all my important stuff out and locked it, and left it where it was bc we couldnt fix my tire. he drove me home, and here we are. im exhausted, im gonna sleep in tomorrow, and im gonna try to have a chill day. i cannot take another thing going wrong right now.

[journalofabrokenheartedvirgin]

Page 76 (part 2)

 I want to get off a stressful day of and work and have you come over with dinner and eat on the floor of my bedroom and talk. I want to go out and sit on sunset cliffs with you, I want to sit and steal kisses on the couch in between episodes, I want you to hold my hands above my head while we kiss on my bed. I just want you. And thats the thing, that the day you broke up with me, I had spent all day looking forward to seeing you. I was with my last client  and I kept saying to myself, “only 2 meow hours before I get to go home and see Ryan. Okay now 1 hours, okay now 30 minutes. I was so excited to see you after spending 3 days away from you and now its been 2 weeks. I miss you. I really do wish ,y first boyfriend had dated me for more than a month. It just all solidified that no one is ever going tot truly want to be with me. I finally found you, someone that likes me, but a month in and youre done. I understand youre busy and need to focus on yourself, but it just makes me feel like im not enough, im not worth the effort it takes to be with. I never am and I never will be. I hope in another sims universe we’re together, because it made me so happy when you said that, and I would like to think that we’re one of the rare ones where we didn’t end up together and in most of the other ones we were destined to be each others person, like I thought we were in this one. I had truly hoped you were my person, but not here, not there, not anywhere. Fuck you, but also not fuck you at all. Its all so confusing because I know you broke it off in respect to me, but also because you didnt want to do it anymore and that is the hardest thing to grasp. That it felt like you liked me, that you wanted me. Instead you were questioning it the whole time. Even when you met my fucking family. Thats just embarrassing, you hadn’t even told your brother. Another boy in my life who didnt tell their brother about me until they found out in another way. Wow, shocker. I now just have to start pushing myself toward and try to get over you. I should block you but I probably won’t, I dont want to hurt your feelings. Speaking of, I wonder what youre going to do with the DnD journal I got you. I wonder if you’ll ever use it, or you’ll throw it in your closet, never to be seen again, or if you’ll give it to a friend. I hope you use it, but ill understand if you dont, considering I cant get myself to use the gifts you gave me. It just hurts too much to do so. I also saw the new trailer for the new DnD movie when I was watching Smile with Summer and Wade and it made me sad because I know that if we had stayed together, I would have gone and seen it With you. Summer said I could go see it with them, but I dont want to see it if its not with you. I also cant watch the rest of Arcane because thats your favorite show and watching it would just make me think of us sitting on the couch and watching it together and I dont want to do that. Everywhere in my apartment makes me think of you and I fucking hate it. I was on the floor of my bed earlier crying at the stuff you gave me/that makes me think of you and it just made me think of eating there together, and i was sitting where we hugged and said we were some of each others favorite people. Or my bed where we sleeping together and you kept getting up to pee and then when you got into bed one time you leaned down and kissed me softly as you got back on my bed. Or sitting on the couch and kissing. And the kitchen where we made mojitos and talked. Pathetically enough, I havent thrown out the extra mint you left here from that night because its the last thing , besides my memorabilia, that I have of you, even though its old and disgusting now. I just want it all back. I just want you back. 

[cynettic]

Stay with Me pt.3

Summary - You manage to escape from Scaramouche, if only for a moment before you realize there’s no escape. It only takes until you’re sitting back in your regular spot that you know what you need to do.

Pairings - Kitsune!Reader x Yan!Scaramouche

Warnings - Suggestive content, mentions of death, swearing, slight gore / blood 

A/N - Its really hard to make this depressing while I’m vibing to Rasputin. Like no joke- I have it on one of the 1 hour playlists :D

Here you’ll find -  pt.1 and pt.2

He’d left a key.

Scaramouche didnt make mistakes, not while he had you captive in the vicinity of his bedroom. He didnt have room for mistakes, not when you were watching his every movement while he was in your line of sight. 

Sure, he mightve killed a person or two in front of you, but those were necessary mistakes. There was a sign on the door, it specified not to enter. You’d understand that, right?

Thats what he thought at least, lulling himself into belief after belief that you’d be there waiting for him every time. That you’d welcome him with open arms, even if there were chains ensnaring your wrists. That you’d accept your fate at his hands and submit yourself to him.

The Balladeer was a fool.

He’d kept you there for too long, and while you searched for an easy way to escape, time sent your head spinning. Into a spiral that begged only for the wind against your face, back laying on dirt with the familiar chirping up birds waking you up in the morning.

You wanted to go outside.

And when push comes to shove, you had to risk a little more to make it happen. Lure him into bed with kisses while your hands unbuttoned his vest. But what he believed to be alluring contacts was just your way of finding the keys hidden in the back pocket of his shorts.

It wasnt hard to find the one to your cuffs while he was asleep, cuddled in your chest with both arms around your waist as if to get you to stay put. You took the key, hiding them back in his clothing and hoping he didnt notice.

He didnt say anything the next day.

You werent going to wait any longer.

“Oh for fucks sake, why won't the goddamn door open?”

The room was left in tatters behind you, a little gift for Scaramouche once he got back. Turns out a pair of chains can smash up a lot of things, and rage can be used as a great source of strength when contained for such a long time.

But you’d done more than throw the blankets around, cut up the drawers and smash open the windows. Because your fists had bled red when you punched through the glass, puncturing your skin. Your knuckles were an ugly red, bruising already.

Ah, Scaramouche deserved a much better gift.

Gruesome as it was, you rubbed your knuckles against the pale walls. Till the blood stopped coming, till there was a nice little message for the boy which you held so dearly to your heart.

‘Balladeer.’

The first time you’d found out about him being a harbinger he’d told you not to call him by that name. You weren’t someone he associated with by work, you were a treasure to him. That’s why you continued to call him as he pleased, although the temptation always arose.

You were no longer his.

Shoving the door with your hand again, palm fiddling with the handle and groaning when it hardly budged. “Stupid,” you grumbled when the knob began to loosen. Backing up, you charged with your shoulder to the door, full force as the momentum broke the hinges. The door fell down with you along with it.

It was expected, you’d been stuck in the room for a long time, and thats considering you’d sat on the ground for decades. Your body was slight numb, muscles sore and unused for so long. 

“You a-arent supposed to leave your room!”

A young man stood in the hallway along with a woman who looked relatively the same age. The two were wearing uniforms, flinching when you stood up from the debris and off the door. “Excuse me?” You asked, voice unnecessarily icy and stern. But you couldnt care less, you were going to get out of this house, damn anyone who stood in your way.

They both continued to shake when you walked towards them, staggering from side to side. The woman stepped up in front of the man, presenting a brave face. “If you leave the mansion, the harbinger will kill us all!”

“Well then I expect you should be on your way then. Actually…” you gestured to the maze of hallways. “You can lead the way.”

“What…?”

Your hand went limp to your side, an exasperated looking momentarily crossing your face before you sighed. “Im not staying trapped in that room, I’m sorry if that ruins your life, but frankly you're not the one stuck in there are you?” You took an extra step just to intimidate them, eyes wide to make the appearance of crazy. “It would be a great help if you showed me where he hid my vision too.”

“We can show you to the door…” The man began, “But the whereabouts of your vision are unknown, he wouldnt tell us something like that.”

A gift bestowed from the gods, a piece to help me thrive with my ambitions and pursue my goals.

Gone.

You really wished you’d taken to clawing out Scaramouche’s face instead, but you’d take what you got. Right now your main priority was getting out of this place, even if it meant leaving a piece of you behind.

“Door.” Your voice was raspy and there was a terrible feeling that crawled up to your throat, but you didnt have time to be emotional. “Show me where the door is… please.”

The conflict in their eyes dissipates by the time they lead you along, mumbling words between themselves. You didnt bother to try eavesdropping, you were so, so tired. You wanted to go home.

Anywhere. Anywhere but here.

It took a few minutes until you were standing in front of a grand door, almost twice the size of you and just as wide. You then began to notice the decorational plants and furniture that filled the empty space, there wasn't an inch of dust. Even though you could tell none of it was used.

“Hurry,” the man warned when you paused. “I dont know when our master is coming back, but if its soon, we’ll all be screwed.”

You couldnt feel your head as you numbly nodded, hand clenching the knob and flinging the set of doors open. “Thank you,” you merely mumbled, taking your first step out of the house in what felt like forever.

The days after that were a blur, the area around Scaramouche’s house were nothing but void. Empty and filled with forests and vast plains. You knew he didnt like people or socializing in general, but to this extent?

Your only option was to run.

Let your feet take you somewhere, anywhere. It was a constant pattern of running and taking breaks, leaning on a tree and gasping in a few breaths before you were again scurrying through the forest. 

And yet you felt better than you’d felt in past months that you’d been stuck with Scaramouche.

Food became any boar you came across, the claws you’d spent so long hiding with Scaramouche coming to unleash a wrath beyond your comprehension. Till the animal was cut to shreds and no meat was left even to eat. You’d slaughtered it, without intention to eat or benefit for it, you’d killed it just to kill.

“I’m sorry,” you’d sobbed into the ground where you’d buried the harmless animal. Forehead pressed into the dirt as you pleaded for forgiveness to whatever archons would accept it. You couldn't even remember what archons you were supposed to pray to. “Forgive me- forgive me…”

But eventually you found your way around to somewhere you knew. Territory of Inazuma where you could find your way back, back home.

Where was home?

You’d been on the run from the vision hunt decree, abandoning your post for the Kitsune Saiguu for such a thing. Even now that you could return without a vision and as no threat under the decree…

You’d sacrificed everything for your vision.

Where were you to go now…?

Rain patted down, the trees providing only a slight cover as stray drops fell into your matted dirty hair. You didnt mind, it hid the tears that slid down your lifeless face, feet taking you into the far meadows of your hometown. Till you plopped down underneath a tree, knees curled to your chest and arms hugging them close. You were crying.

You were home.

____________________

“Awh,” a ginger haired murmured, elbow resting on the cool wood of the tabletop. “Is little Mouchie sad? I heard your kitty cat escaped~”

A death wish, even fatui that idly minded themselves around the bar knew it. Sipping cold drinks and swirling their cups, the soft chatter was nothing but a distraction from the main course of events. That being the smaller Harbinger who sat sulking in his seat, hunched over with a drink in hand. He’d drank far more than what was on the counter, but everytime he finished a glass, he’d smash it on the ground, watching the fragile glass shatter into pieces.

“I dont have a cat,'' was his only response, tone daring Childe to pursue further. To give him a reason to start throwing the glass in his face instead.

And Childe was an idiot when it came to challenging someone.

“No cat?” The rest of the drink in the taller harbinger’s glass was gone when he threw his head back. “Hmmm, I cant think of what else could’ve had you so enraptured in returning home then~!”

Scaramouche didnt respond, uneven bangs shadowing the bags under his eyes. “Stronger,” he said instead, elbow on the counter and hand outstretched for something. When there was no movement from the man managing the wine, the harbinger looked up. “I need something stronger to drink,” he repeated, voice seething.

“Of c-course!”

The glass was nestled in Scaramouche’s palm in no time, fingers curling around the circular form to down it in seconds. The drink merely slid down his throat in one movement, alcohol burning his senses. It didn’t matter, he was numbed by the growing rage inside of him.

Finally, he turned to the ginger haired boy, eyes hazily dancing along the counter till it reached his fingertips. Up his hand and along his arm, till Scaramouche was staring right into Childe’s eyes. “They escaped,” he admitted softly. “But it’s alright, because I sent something that’ll bring them back.”

Childe paused, raising his drink up away from his lips to pose a question. Hesitation danced along his features before he brought the glass back, he’d rather not provoke the shorter male any further. Wasn’t like he could interfere anyway.

____________________

“That… that…” 

It was preposterous, having returned to that same spot for a day or two and heading back to the hometown you’d once lived in. The one Scaramouche had lived in. There shouldn’t have been an issue, you were solely gathering supplies for the sake of it, ambition driving you to travel far far away.

Out of Inazuma.

It was your new beginning, convincing yourself that you didn't need a vision. Finding some sort of purpose before Scaramouche shattered the vision and your life along with it. You’d seen how people had reacted when it had been ingrained in the statue, neutralized and broken. They lost hope, purpose and aspirations for anything new.

It’s not like the Raiden Shogun took my vision.

But you’d taken that fact for granted, expecting some sort of new start without Scaramouche. A victory, getting away from him just for a split second and getting out of Inazuma altogether, you’d never see him again.

Until you got his message.

“How the hell…” You crushed the note until it was just crumbled paper in your hand, slowly leaning on the stone wall. “Piece of shit… what kind of person even…” 

Not only did he manage to find you, but without making his presence known, he’d tugged at your one weakness with an ease that had you down on your knees.

You threw the paper to the ground, deliberate as you stared past the alleyway. Pensive as you considered your options. Damn, what options did you even have? You’d been an idiot to underestimate Scaramouche, he wasn’t a child, you knew that… but archons he seemed like one when he was with you. Shown you a vulnerability he wanted only you to see. But maybe that had been part of his plan all along, until all you believed was his soft demeanor.

He may act like a child, but he’s a harbinger.

You stared down at the crumbled piece of paper in disgust.

Not only that, but he has no regard for human life.

Either way, you’d lived decades more than him. You could face him, you would present yourself to him just as he expected you to. Even when everything in you rejected the idea, sobbed at the thought of returning to that house, those chains. Being locked up and confined only for the purpose of coddling a small boy, a selfish boy, a cruel boy. 

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

You’d figure out a way, and this time you wouldn’t rule out the option of his death.

———————

Oh darling Y/n, how have you been?

I hope this letter reaches you rather soon, we both have much to discuss, no? About me, about you, and much more. You see, I’ve taken up quite a distaste to your little friends. Stone statues in Inazuma as small as Kitsunes truly hold no purpose, what will they do, come back to life? Haha, I should think not. I’ve already arranged to have them demolished, who knows what kind of material they might possess. Ah, and of course I’d show you the finishing product, unless you’re willing to come and have a chat with me once more? Under the Sakura tree like we used to, you’ve waited years, I believe you can wait for me?

I hope this letter reaches you in best interests. I’m always looking out for you after all.

Sincerely, your Balladeer

——————

It was raining.

Beautiful weather as you lay sitting there, feet crossed and tucked in the same you’d often do. After all, there was no need to fear the vision hunt decree or the Raiden Shogun. Let them come, let them take care of you before Scaramouche did.

You werent cold, not when the cold drops dampened your clothing, slipping down the length of your spine and drenching your face. Despite having lived in a luxury residency for such a long time, this was where you were most comfortable, enduring whatever the weather had for you, taking it with a smile. Because you were waiting…

The Kitsune Saiguu was a distant memory.

You were waiting for Scaramouche, the young boy that often bound into the field in lengthy strides, childlike wonder in his eyes. The one who’d cried when the other kids pushed him away, the one that just wanted to be praised. You’d held him in your arms, and now, even knowing the results, you wouldnt have done differently.

He was just a boy.

Just a boy when he joined the fatui, looking for praise that he was given. He created chaos and bellowed orders with a cruelty that was highly looked upon. Told that he was doing well, so he continued to do so.

He’s just a boy.

You wished you’d held him in your arms, if not only for a tad longer. Shield him away from the wrongness of the world, if only for one last time.

Banishing away your hatred for him was hard.

But you found it under the tree, rain soon dimming down to a clouded cold breeze that swept through the meadow. You’d hated him while stuck in the mansion, but you could now see it from a larger point of view. What he did was wrong of course, but you could remember him so vividly now. His small form giggling, tiny arms around your neck. 

“Play with me!”

Was it your fault?

For not holding him tighter? For trying to rectify his bad doings and teach him what was wrong and right? Maybe if your grip was firmer, if you’d spoken to him about the warmth he’d given you that day when playing cards...

“Lazy ass.”

Burying down that pile of worry and insecurities, you took a deep breath in to relax. The edge of your lip perked up, only slightly. “Still terrible with your social skills arent you?”

Slowly securing a dry space under the three with you, Scaramouche sat down. His features were the same ones you’d grown accustomed to at his mansion. Rich clothes, sharp eyes, and the baby face that refused to go away. His movements were soft as he pulled out a deck of cards. The two of you didnt speak as he distributed them between you both. It was tense… no, it felt too much like the warmth form long ago to be tense. You only wished the situation to be different.

“I love you.”

But you could only offer a bitter smile to his words. “I love my vision,” you replied. “I love the Kitsune Saiguu, and I love my friends.”

His touch was gentle when his fingers came to gently cradle your cheek. Holding your face dearly as he peered into your eyes, his were soft. Different from the cruelty he held within, the hatred that burned and destruction that seeked to explode.

You saw a little boy.

Your hand came to press his hand further against your cheek, till you slid his palm to your lips. He appeared so calm when you pressed the first kiss, lips tracing the lines along his palm with all the care in the world.

But you needed to change your view, see him as the man he now was. As the man he had become.

“I love you,” he repeated, and you let go of his hand. It fell limp by his side, cards all but forgotten. There was a much more pressing matter at hand, because you truly needed to see him as he was.

It was necessary if you planned to kill him.

[kaz11283]

Of Course I'm Here

Characters: Come on you know by now how this goes (Loki x you) (Team x you, platonic)

Warnings: None. And really if you ever see anything that I might need to able as a warning please let me know... I'm the person who forgets there are people out there that get offened by the word F*** if that is an exapmle of anything.

Summary: Mid battle and the avengers keep looking for an answer as to why the God of Lies hasnt showed up yet. Of course you have no idea but at least he proves them all wrong.

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: hey guys Im back, I know it hasnt been long but I also know I havent been posting every single day like I was, i got into a weird little funk where I didnt want to do anything, I was just feeling completly drained, and I felt bad because I have my little and I didnt even want to play with her because I have just been so TIRED, but I'm feeling better. Work has been kicking my ass here lately and ive been working over 50 hours a week so ive literally been coming in, eatting / feeding the little, getting us ready for bed, and crashing as soon as she falls asleep. But im here now. I will probably be more active on weekends than during the week because I have more time to spend working on stuff but I will be posting also during the week just not daily. At least until after state comes. Thank you so much for the reblogs, likes, comments, follows, and messages please keep them coming! If you would like to be tagged please ask or message, and requests are open. Love you guys so much! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

"Y/N, BACK UP I NEED BACK UP! EYES IN THE SKY!" Tony yelled from above, you and Clint stood back to back on a roof top shooting as many bad guys as you could. Clint took aim at another carrier, shooting at the engine causing the entire thing to blow up raining debris and hot metal around you.

"Damnit Clint! Farther away make sure they are farther away!" You yelled popping him on the head with an arrow before aiming it at the thing that was chasing Tony.

"Where is lover boy at? You.sent him the location right?" Nat asked into the com.

"Yes I sent him the location, no I dont know where hes at." You mocked.

"Did you send him the right location?" Sam asked.

"One time, one dam-"

"Language!" Steve chimed in causing everyone to groan. Gun shots where ringing all around you and you could here metal on metal paired with Hulk screams coming from another building over.

"Language." You mocked muting your com son that no one but Clint heard you. "I am a 26 year old woman, I think I'm old enough to cuss if I want." You drew back your bow and sent another arrow flying into another goon that had Nat trapped aginst a wall. She shot you a thumbs up before running off. You hit unmute on your com.

"Jesus, 26? Baby, you sure you don't need to be at a babysitter instead of on a building killing things?" He laughed.

"Dont worry Hawk, when we get done here I've already booked you a nice nursing home to be put into." You put your bow around you and stood on the edge of the building. "I need a better view." You looked round, the top of a taller building caught you eye. "There Hawk, we can cover a better radius from up there, get closer to the action."

"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THE GODS ARE GOING TO BE HERE? WE NEED MORE HELP WERE GETTING TIRED AND OUT NUMBERED!" Tony came over the coms screaming.

"How do we get up there? Or do I even wanna know?" Hawk came to examin where you were talking about.

"Im jumping, you cant tell me that someone wont catch me." You shrug.

"GODS WHERE ARE TH- Y/N DONT YOU DARE JUMP!" Tony stopped and hovered right were you was standing.

"Then take us over there. We need higher ground, we cant cover everyone from down here." You crossed your arms.

"Where are the gods at y/n?" He asked again

"I. Dont. Know. Jesus you guys act like I'm suppose to be there keeper!" A simultaneous you are came from everone through the com causing you to roll your eyes. "Hes gonna be here I swear it! Now take me to the building or I jump. 1.....2....-" Tony grabbed you by the collar of your jacket and flew you to the building.

God these things were everywhere and you were starting to run out of arrows. After shooting another ship and causing it to blow you heard what was unmistakably pounding on the roof top door leading to where you currently was at.

"I have some univited guests about to join my party. Anyone available for some assistance?" You yanked out the two emerald green and silver daggars that your boyfriend had given you not long after you had started dating after throwing your bow around you.

"Buy some time kid, I'm on ground level right now but I can try to get up there as fast as possible." Bucky called over the com.

"Buy some time? Ok. I can do this. I work better from afar but a little hand to hand never hurt anyone, just easier to get stabbed this way." The first of the things busted through the door running straight at you. You jerked out of the way missing his staff by just a few inches. Quickly turning you flipped the dagger like Loki had showed you and stabbed him in his side causing him to fall to the ground before the next one tried to impale you.

"I have two daggers and they have freaking staffs! Back up! WHERE THE HELL AR-" you were interupted by static in the air and a bright light. The bitfrost had just opened up leaving to gods standing in front of you and taking out the remainder ofnthe bad guys. "HES HERE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THEY WERE COMING AND THEY'RE HERE." You pulled two extra coms from you pocket and gave them to Thor and Loki.

"Always a pleasure to battle beside you Lady y/n." Thor smiled takkng the com and putting it in his ear before taking off again.

Loki sauntered over to you and put his arm around you waist, you put the com in his ear as he rolled his eyes. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss.

"You got a new outfit." You smiled at him. God the way he looked in his battle clothe always did something to you, the horned helment was a plus.

"You like it." He smirked down at you pulling you closer.

"Your wearing your horns to." You reached up and brushed a peice if hair behind his ear.

"STOP. STOP NOW. WE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING AND ITS GROSS." Tony yelled causing you both to roll your eyes.

"Quick run down, bad guys everywhere, no end in sight, and I'm out of arrows pretty sure Hawk is too." Loki waved his hand over your quiver making more arrows appear.

"I see you had to use your daggers. I am sorry for not being here. Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked stepping away from you to examin you.

"Small cut on the side, nothing I havent dealt with before, Ill be fine. You go make sure Hawk is fully stocked up and help the others. I got a birds eye view of you right here." I leaned in kissing him one more time before smiling at him and pushing him away. He kissed his two finger before placimg them over his heart and you did the same, "always." You both said before he disappered.

You could hear Thor laughing at the chaos going on and Steve trying to direct the god of thunder on what to do. You had learned earlier to just let him do his own thing and he would be fine. Tony was still trying to micromanage everything when you heard Loki mumble something in an old language and his com cut out. You had figured it wouldnt have stayed on to long though but at least you had tried. It had calmed down up on your end so you decided to finally go back down to where Clint was at shooting an arrow with heavy duty rope you glided back down next to him to watch what was going on.

"Hello, earth to y/n." He snapped his fingers in front of your face. You had been to busy staring at Loki and that damn helmet. "I dont even understand why were friends." He rolled his eyes propping up on the ledge watching as the rest of the team secured the last of the bad guys.

"Because we both shoot arrows, because we are both the best in the team, or because we both know we are the best looking one on the team so we have to stick together." You laughed jumping up so you could sit on the ledge.

"The birds can come out of their nest now." Bucky called over the coms causing you both to sigh.

When you and Clint had reached the bottom you walked over to Thor theowing your arms around the big goof ball.

"You are amazing during battle as always." He beemed patting you on the shoulder.

"As always? Thor youve only fought with her twice." Steve said beside you.

"I had a week off. Went to Asguard, spent time with the boys. Someone had to keep them in line." You shrugged like it was no big deal.

"She was amazing!" Thor went on telling the story of the fight you had all gotten into.

"Mothers been asking about you by the way dear. Wants to know if you've decided to come stay for a while." Loki leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"I think I'm leaning toward a yes. I can't stand being away from you, you had been gone forever this time." You reached for his hand as you both walked to the quinjet.

"I was making arrangements to have our room redone. I figured you would come with me." He gave you a knowing smirk as he reached up to take off his helmet.

"Leave the horns on. I have a suprise for you when we get home." You pulled his hand away from his head and smacked his butt.

"You are a little minx." He laughed chasing you into the jet while the rest of the team groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Even if you wasnt moving i would be kicking your ass out! I am so sick of the PDA between you two." Tony hollared after you.

"Leave them alone Tony, they are courting. Im just glad my brother is happy and not trying to stab me." Thor clapped Tony on the back.

~~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

[ashisstrange]

MASTERLIST

ʷᵒʳᵈˢ: ².²ᵏ

ᵖᵃⁱʳⁱⁿᵍ: ᶜʰⁱˡᵈᵉ ˣ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ

ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᵗᵃᵍˢ: ʰᵘʳᵗ/ᶜᵒᵐᶠᵒʳᵗ, ˢˡⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵃⁿᵍˢᵗ, ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ ⁱⁿˢᵉʳᵗ, ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵍⁱᵛᵉ ʰⁱᵐ ᵃ ᵇʳᵉᵃᵏ ᵃˡʳᵉᵃᵈʸ

✥﹤┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈﹥✥

Its late in the night, far too late for your liking. The moon is glistening in the sky with it's stars, providing a small sheen of light in your dark room, passing through the curtains. It's not unusual for Tartaglia to get home late considering his occupation, but you never got used to the worry pooling in ur gut each hour that passes without him by your side.

What if he's gotten incredibly hurt and you're not there to help? What if one day he doesn't return home? Nontheless you always prepare extra dinner and make the bed, even on nights he doesn't return. You never had the idea of coming home to loving arms and warm dinner as a kid, so it felt as if it's your duty to make sure Tartaglia never suffers that feeling.

The feeling of a stab in the chest as you enter the dark house, eerily silent. You'd always pad your way to the kitchen silently and snag a sandwich before going to bed in your room. Your living situation had never been inherently bad, but the people you lived with, the people any other person would've called their parents, seemed to make everything unbearable.

That is why when you turned 18 you moved out to Liyue harbor, and your close friend Zhongli was there every step of the way. You had run into him once during a trip at the age of 16, and you had kept contact through letters ever since.

The man, at the time, told you he was 23, but he never really seemed to age. You brushed it off, probably overthinking it. That is the same person that introduced you to Childe, it was quite a sudden occurence, but you'll be forever grateful.

You needed a place to stay and your friend told you that his friend wouldnt mind a roommate, and that he was rarely found home anyways. You took up the offer, not knowing that your roommate would be one of the fatui harbingers.

You were off to a rocky start, the man refusing to talk to you the very few times he was at the appartment. Later though, he seemed to warm up to you, ever so slowly.

You don't remember how your relationship ever came to be, it's not like you've ever explicitly put a label to it. There was just a moment where you felt as if everything changed. What you had wasn't just merely a romantic relationship, it was more than that. To provide each other comfort and love like no one else had ever done before. Unconditional love that didnt seem to falter, even during the moments where you parted ways.

You smile to yourself, remeniscing the days you barely talked, and the days you spent helping him when he was wounded. There was one particular night he just crashed into your bed in the middle of the night, even though he usually only used the couch.

He had clung to you as if you were his only lifeline, sleeping soundlessly as you laid in shock. The shock died down after a few seconds though, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Not long after you fell asleep too, and since that night Tartaglia had never slept on the couch ever again.

You check th clock. 4:37 Am, way too late to be up, but it's not like you'd sleep regardless. You'd probably get an ear full from Zhongli during your scheduled lunch the next day, but that, folks, is something for future you to deal with.

Suddenly you heard the turning of keys in a lock, and a door opening and slamming shut. That can only be one person. Then you heard a crash coming from the living room, making you shoot up. You slipped on your slippers as you quickly shuffled your way across the room and out into the living room.

You flicked on the light and were met by Tartaglia, slumped against the back of the couch. His bow was discarded to the side and he was breathing heavily. Sluggishly, his eyes opened to meet yours, his gaze seemed distant, almost empty.

You snapped out of your trance, rushing to pull his arm over your shoulder. You managed to drag him across the living room, over to the bathroom, settling him down on the closed lid of the toilet. You held up your hands, as if to say 'wait here'. You didn't dare break the silence that hung over you, scared that you'd set him off or something.

He didn't seem to protest, so you left to go get the med kit from the kitchen, and a clean rag to clean off the blood splattered across his skin. Was it his? That was a question that, regardless if you could guess the answer, would be left unanswered. As always.

He met your eyes when you returned, seeking for some contact. He knew how much you hated blood. The stickyness, the sickening smell and the thought of what must have happened that involved getting covered in blood. You always helped him regardless, and he thanked you dearly for that. After a long day he simply could not do it himself.

It makes him feel helpless, but you're always right by his side to make him feel better. You wet the rag, cleaning off his calloused hands. His face too had some traces of blood, but those were easily wiped away as well.

After some emergency stitches and a bandage around his bicep you motioned for him to stand up, letting him know that the treatment was done. He was still quite weak, but not as much as before.

"Thanks," he croaked, the first words you shared in 2 days. His voice sounded devoid of any confidence. He seemed very fragile, but you didn't comment it.

"No worries," You send him a reassuring smile, helping him get up and over to the bedroom. You see him visibly relax once he's in bed, snuggling into the sheets. He immediately rolls over towards you when he feels the matress dip, wrapping his arms around your waist.

His face is buried in between your shoulder blades, and it's nearly impossible for you to turn over and look at him. He only does that when he's in a bad mood, and you stop putting in effort to try and face him.

"Bad day?" He hums, the vibrations thrumming against your back. He seems tense, but you're careful not to trigger him too much. The last thing you want is to stress him out even more, knowing he has a lot on his plate already.

After a while, when you've started nodding away assuming he fell asleep you suddenly feel movement behind you. You open your eyes as you hear a small sniffle. It's almost as if you could hear your hart shatter from beneath your ribs. He probably thought you were asleep too.

His arms had relaxed, allowing you to turn around easily. His ocean blue eyes met yours, big with surprise, even though they seemed almost grey-ish in the faint moonlight. All you could do is smile at him as you opened his arms, for him to rely on you.

And that's exactly what he did. qHe fell into your chest, sniffling and crying freely as you drew patterns on his back, your other hand running through his hair. You could almost feel his clogged nose by the way he was having trouble breathing. After a bit his sobbing eased down to mere sniffles as you handed him a handkerchief to blow out his nose.

He used to have a lot of trouble with that, relying on people. Upon meeting him he imediately sparked you as the type of person that didnt bother anyone with his personal feelings, bottling them up for only him to experience. You could see how it physically and mentally ate away at him

That's why one day you faced him, and opened your arms. He had quirked up a brow, confused at what you were insinuating. "Rely on me." You said, and he chuckled, assuming it was a joke.

When you didn't move he realised you weren't kidding. Eventually you wrapped your arms around him, the man tense in your grip. "You don't seem to want to bug anyone else with your problems, so you can rely on me instead,"

You had no idea ho much those words had meant to him, they stuck by him like gum under a shoe. It felt good, he admitted, to have someone to rely on.

"I'm so sorry," He croaks, and he sounds nearly as small as he did in the bathroom half an hour ago, his eyes red with tears. Seeing him like that made your chest clench in pain, knowing the pain the world has caused him.

"There's nothing for you to apologise for," he seems to be taken aback by your comment, maybe even... offended?

"N-no way, i'm clearly a burden to you and a waste of yo-" you shut him up by pressing a kiss to his lips, making his eyes widen.

"You have nothing to apologize for because i am here for you, willingly. I promised to help you with whatever you're going through didn't i," He nods in defeat, leaning back into you. The way he cuddles up to you almost seems domestic, forgetting the fact that he kills people for a living.

"You need to take a break sweetie, otherwise you'll just keep eating yourself up," You stroke a lock of hair out of his face that nearly seemed glued by the stickyness of his tears. He furrows his brows, creating deep creases in between them.

"You know i can't, there's way too much for me to do," He looks up at you, as if he's offended you brought it up in the first place. You press your thumb in between his brows, easing up the crease and stopping him from furrowing.

"We both know it isn't a crime to take a week off, considering you've never used your days off," He tries to butt in, but you shush him before he can start. "And before you start about 'your duties', there's enough harbingers at the fatui, it's not like they can't send Scaramouche to deal with your business for a bit,"

He frowns again, but you resume in stroking his hair. "Besides, if they don't allow you to take off, which i highly doubt, they'll have me to deal with," You smirk. His eyes crinkle up as he musters a small smile. You're not the most intimidating person on the planet, but it's the sentiment that matters.

"What would i even do in that week though," he huffs, fiddling with the back of your shirt as he seems deep in thought.

"Well i had just the idea," you chuckle as he looks at you in disbelief. His eyes are still a bleary red, but you can tell he's a lot less tense than earlier. "And that is..." He continues, his tone ever so curious.

"Say, how long has it been since you've been back home," he visibly tenses up, not meeting your eyes. You know its a sensetive topic, but it'd really do him good to go back home to see his family.

"I dont know, nearly two years," his voice is merely above a whisper, bless the fact that the room is so silent you'd be able to hear a pin drop. You adjust your position so that he's laying against you more comfortably, going back to stroking through his hair.

"Well i thought we could book it to shnezhynaiya for a week or two, spend some time with your family," He lays still against you, as if he'd break if he moved. "After all, they've only heard about me through letters," you chuckle.

You hold him a little tighter, leaning into the warmth. "Wouldn't you like that?" You say in his ear, just above a whisper. That seems to break him, the realisation dawning on him that he'd get to see his family again.  Tears run down his face once again, only this time they're not caused by distress. He nods as he buries his face back into your shoulder.

You stroke his back as you continue talking about your trip, soothing him. Later, when he's stopped crying, he talks along. He tells you about his parents, about how his mother used to be there for him through everything. About how he used to go ice fishing with his father in the winters, and proudly mention he caught a very big fish once.

He also tells you about his siblings, about how he cares for every single one of them very dearly. He also tells you about the spots he wants to visit with you he used to hang out at.

He tells you all about it, and for the first time in a while you see him smile. Really, genuinely smile. The kind of smile where his eyes crinkle up and he bares his teeth. It's an incredibly endearing sight, and u make a mental note to never forget it.

Suddenly he yawns. "You must be exhausted," you chuckle as you both adjust your positions, ready to fall asleep. He only hums as he keeps his eyes shut, pulling up his blanket. His breathing evens out as he falls asleep.

You smile as you look at his resting face, snuggling closer to him as you think; god, how did i get this lucky

[xoxo-teddybear]

Oh, The Lies You Tell - Bakugou Katsuki - pt.4

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, trauma, abuse, betrayal, fluff, slice of life, smut, cursing, manipulation, possible spoilers, physical harm, 18+

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Ep. Warnings: cursing, small angst

Summary: after getting caught by dabi, Y/N’s been extra cautious ESPECIALLY with Bakugou. She’s still trying to figure out her feelings about..well, EVERYTHING and so to cope, she blocks out everything and isolates.

Pt.1 Pt.2 P.3 P.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9

A/N: Kinda short, Sorry :P

Bakugou’s POV

After spending all that time with Y/N, I could definitely say I like her. Like...LIKE HER like her. She’s..amazing. She has to be one of the top fighters in our class, she’s beautiful and has an incredible body. Her voice is like honey and she has this smile..that’s just..wow. Besides her physical, her as a person is incredible. She’s a good listener, she’s so open minded, she’s respectfully honest, and she brings out the better me.

I’ll admit, I’m pretty strict on following rules. I need to make a good name for myself out in the hero world. But Y/N has a delinquent past. She teaches me to risk it with the stupid rules and just enjoy life as a teen. Not only that, but considering she’s a little rebel herself, she can get out of hand sometimes. So she has me to keep her from going over the cliff. We’re a perfect balance for each other.

.....We’re perfect for each other.

No one’s POV

The morning after your little rendezvou with Bakugou, you woke up in heartache. You were so confused on why. Was it because you were something you’re not to everyone? Was it because you were doing this for the league more than for yourself? But you weren’t dumb. You knew the answer. Or rather, answers. Firstly, it’s because you knew you weren’t enjoying yourself by going through with this plan. It didnt feel right. Second, Bakugou. As scared as you were to admit it..you liked him. You really liked him.

That fact terrified you. You didn’t grow up around love. You grew up around hatred, bloodshed, violence, and fear. For your entire life, everything was all about survival. Even when you had a “steady” home with the league. But Bakugou came into the picture and threw you off. With him, he gave you a sense of security and peace. A warm feeling inside your heart that became more addicting than any drug. Yes, you enjoyed it but at the same time, it confused you. You weren’t sure how to deal with these emotions. You weren’t even sure if you deserved to be blessed with these emotions. With Katsuki.

You were and are a villain. You are the high ranking villain, Titania, and you are on a mission to take down UA from the inside. You were a villain, and you knew your place. A killer, a criminal, a thief, a menace like you didn’t deserve these feelings of..love. You didn’t even know how to handle them. So you did what you thought was best no matter how bad it hurt you.

When you walked into the hallway that your dorm opens up to, you were gifted with the surprise of Katsuki being there, waiting for you.

“Hey Princess,” he began but looked down to your side. “Princess and Rumor.” He said as he chuckled and petted Rumor’s head. Rumor smiled up at the familiar blonde and barked in happiness. Those two got along so well. “So I was thinking we could walk to class together.”

“Sorry...but..no. Come Rumor.” You said and turned away as you cringed at yourself in regret. Rumor followed you, along with Bakugou.

“Heh..sure princess. Try again.” He said thinking you were just messing around. Except, you didn’t answer him. You just kept walking with a blank look on your face, as if he wasn’t even around. Your entire persona was just..off? No playful remarks, no sass or attitude, no teasing mannerisms. It wasn’t you. “Hey, Y/N.”

He tried to put his hand on your shoulder but you sped up and walked out the doors with Rumor leaving Bakugou in confusion and hurt.

‘Did I do something wrong?’ Bakugou released a quiet whine to your behavior and just shook his head and continued to walk to school.

When he arrived in the class, you had already been seated. Thankfully, your desk was next to his so he could try speaking to you then. He firstly walked to you and tried getting some sort of conversation out of you.

“So..what do you think is gonna happen today?” He asked. Even he thought it was a pathetic question but at least it was something.

“Not sure.” You blatantly replied.

“Oh...okay well, uh, Shitty hair and I were planning on getting a workout in later, do you wanna join us?” He asked again.

“I’ll be training with Rumor today and thats all.” You said.

“Nice....you uh, mind if we join you?”

“No.”

“Uh....okay. Cool...........Y/N, listen I-“

“Take your seat Bakugou. Class is starting.” Mr. Aizawa said. Bakugou reluctantly took his seat but not before looking towards you with desperate eyes for at least something more than what you were giving him. But nothing came.

Class went on and Bakugou tried to focus as best as he could, but with the girl he was falling for completely brushing him off, he was in a silent frenzy. Bakugou and you had a thing during class hours. When you guys were dying to talk to each other, you would pass little notes to each other’s desks and continue with that. So he did his usual notes with you and passed one your way. It’s said ‘are you doing okay, Princess?’ But when he tossed it onto your desk, you left the crumpled piece of paper there as you continued listening to Mr. Aizawa.

Since you didn’t reply, he sent another one your way. This time, making sure it hit you a little bit to get your attention but once again, nothing.

‘Wtf’ Bakugou thought. He assumed you were just having a bad morning so even though it hurt him, he left you alone to cool off. I mean, it’s not like he was the only one you weren’t speaking to. You were practically ignoring everybody’s existence.

Lunch rush came and Bakugou was a little relieved. Y/N always say next to him no matter what happened. Even on those quiet days where she didn’t speak a lot during that time, he was glad she was still there and would occasionally join in on the conversation just like he did. But you didn’t come this time. Bakugou waited and when he finally saw you walking towards the table, he smiled and spoke.

“Hey Princess! About time you-“ but before he could continue, you kept your head straight and kept walking, not even sparring the table a glance. He watched you walk on and sit at a lonely table. No one was there. It was just you and Rumor. Bakugou stared from afar and after waiting for a few minutes and giving you multiple concerned stares every now and then, he finally got up to walk to you. Before he could even leave his seat though, Kirishima held him back.

“Don’t man, give her some time. She needs a break.” Kirishima said.

“From what exactly? If you know something, you should tell me now! Cuz if there’s something messing with her, tell me so I can kill it.” Bakugou replied. He was a little hurt thinking that you told Kirishima your problems and not him but he was really more concerned with what’s bugging you. What the hell was bothering you so much? Whatever it was, he’ll make sure it stops.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her, but it’s obvious she doesn’t wanna speak to anyone right now. Just let her stick by Rumor and be at peace for the day. Or at least until she’s feeling better.” Kirishima explained. And Bakugou knew he was right, so with a stubborn groan he sat back down and just continued to stare.

The day went on and Bakugou let you be. But it was definitely killing him on the inside. He struggled to hold himself back whenever he saw you in a room but he did restrain himself. Once in the common rooms, he noticed you didn’t even bother to stay for a minute. You went straight to your dorm even though Rumor stayed to play with Kaminari and Sero. You spent all day in there and only opened the door to Rumor. When you finally came out, it was to grab a plate of dinner for you and Rumor. You didn’t even stay to eat, you brought the food to you room and that was the last time Bakugou saw you that day. This whole thing was killing him, but what he didn’t know was that from the privacy of your room, your own tears fell much heavier than Bakugou’s.

When Y/N entered her dorm room and placed the plates of food on her table side, she sat on the side of the bed with her head hanging low, casting a shadow to fall over her face. She gripped her bed sheets and she held back sobs. Her teeth grinding against each other in frustration as her eyes squeezed shut to attemp to stop the flooding tears but to no avail. As her hiccups left her voice, Rumor came to place his head on her lap to calm her down. She placed one hand over her mouth to silence herself and calm down as she rubbed Rumor’s soft fur. She eventually gave in and sat on the floor, hugging and holding onto the giant wolf-dog.

“T-This isn’t our place Rumor...this isn’t where we belong. We’re v-villains....we don’t deserve the good they’re giv-ing us.” You sobbed out as you cried into his side.

“I d-don’t belong here!” You cried out. You sobbed into your mattress as Rumor waited for you on the side. He didn’t know what to do with his best friend being so distraught. Your continuous sobs went on for a few hours into the night. Rumor stayed right by your side through it all. The silence that filled your room was so loud and head ringing, it was almost torture. In a quiet voice, you whispered only to remind yourself a fact that Dabi had told you.

“I don’t deserve him.”

——————————————————————————

“ARGHHH!” Bakugou screamed as he snapped his pencil in anger. Y/N and Rumor just walked passed the group and went to Y/N’s dorm in silence. The Bakusquad looked at the ash blonde in concern. They knew how this boy felt. Y/N’s been avoiding him like the plague and Bakugou can’t get her off his mind.

When you completely ignored his presence, it put Bakugou into a state of sadness. Whenever he tried to talk to you, he was given brief answers followed with your dismissal. He tried doing favors for you, making time to hang out again, and asked to train with you which resulted in him getting rejected each time. It was driving him mad and he just wanted to be around you again.

“I still don’t get why the hell she’s acting like this! When we hung out, everything was perfect! What the fuck is going on with her?!” He shouted in anger. When Y/N is around, Bakugou gets this warm feeling inside that he’s learned to love. Now the girl is never around and he’s bursting in anger at every little thing. Can you blame him? He’s kind of hurt. The girl he’s in like with doesn’t even acknowledge him when she passes by anymore. He misses you. A lot.

“Well why don’t you ask her?” Kirishima questioned.

“Because I-.........actually, that’s a good idea.” Bakugou said as he dropped everything to run up to your dorm and talk. How could he have been so dumb? Listening to Shitty hair. All that hair dye is messing with his brain and local advice. He couldn’t believe he had really left you alone in pain for a whole day. Now, he was gonna get to the bottom of this one way or another. When he made it there, he began banging on your door without even giving it a second thought.

“Y/N! Open up, c’mon! I know you’re in there.” He said on the other side. In the comfort of your bed you poked your head out of the covers and reluctantly got out. You knew he wouldn’t stop till he got his answers. So you went to open the door and put on the best smile you could.

“Hi Katsuki,” you said with a huff. “Look, I’ve been having a really bad headache so if you don’t mind-“

“Nope,” he interrupted and just pushed open the door to get inside. How charming. He walked in and you just rolled your eyes and sighed. You shut the door and turned to him. “You can’t lie to me about some headache Y/N, I know it’s not the truth. You’ve been avoiding me and I wanna know why.”

“It’s nothing personal, I just..needed some time.” You said, looking everywhere but at him. A silence entered the room. Not the comforting silence it usually is with you two, more of the nervous kind. Bakugou thought about what he would say next..he didn’t even know if it was okay to say. But he did it anyway.

“Is it...me? Did I do something wrong?” You looked at him with a shocked face as he continued, “‘cuz if it was me, then... I’m sorry. I’m new to this whole..whatever we have going on, but I’m really trying here and I-...I don’t know, I thought that night we went out was pretty good, but I can do better if you jus-“

“Katsuki, hey no, stop that,” you said as you walked up to him. “This has nothing to do with you messing up or anything. That night was amazing, you are amazing, and everything that’s happened between us so far has been..amazing.” You confessed.

“So then...why? Why all the distance? Why do you avoid me?....what happened?” Bakugou asked as he got closer. If something was wrong, he genuinely wanted to help you out of it. You just laughed a little before you spoke, realizing how cliche you were gonna sound.

“Look, it’s not you, it’s me. I’ve just been going through something..life changing, and I don’t really know who I am yet. I just..needed a break from everything. Especially you.” You said as you looked him in his eyes.

“Especially me? Why?” He asked. The amount of nerves that hit you all at once was ridiculous. You could confess right here right now and rip off the bandaid. Or you could lie your way out and save yourself the embarrassment. You bit your lip and tilted your head towards the ceiling for a second in exhaustion before speaking.

“Because.....Ugh! I like you, all right? A lot. You..you’re really cute, and fun, and there’s just all these amazing things about you annddd..” as you spoke you looked at his face and he started to grow a small smile as he looked at you with that cocky look and a slightly raised brow, “stop doing that!” You said and smacked his shoulder.

“Ow, what?” He laughed out. “Stop doing what?”

“That! That stupid face that you do when you look at me with that smile and face when you just...and..you....you just-.....Umm..uh..” you trailed off from your sentence as Bakugou leaned down into your face, resting his forehead on yours.

“And..?” He asked.

“And...and no free compliments!” You said as you pushed his shoulder and turned to your side. He chuckled at the way you pouted and crossed your arms. “Look, we’ve established that I like you Katsuki,”

“Keep going, I like what I’m hearing,” he said with a grin and his hands in his pockets.

“And that’s the problem.”

“Okay, stop. I don’t like it anymore.” He said and looked to the side with a grouchy face. You laughed and walked up to him and pulled at his arms.

“No, seriously,” you said with a laugh, “I like you, but that’s the problem. Where I’m from...it’s..different. I never really got to explore emotions like this..so..I don’t really know how to handle them. It’s confusing. I just thought, if I isolated and took some time to myself, they would go away...but they haven’t. They’re still here, they’re still strong, and I still don’t know what to do.” You said with a heavy breath. The weight finally came off of your chest after your confession but something was still poking at you and you weren’t sure what. You didn’t let it bother you for too long though, you finally felt like you could breath again.

“So..what? You’re emotionally constipated? ‘Cuz if That’s the case, then I’m the same way, princess. We must come from the same place.” He joked.

“Oh no we don’t. If anything......it’s almost like we’re from two different worlds,” you said with a slightly sad demeanor that Bakugou detected. He picked you up, sat on your bed and got comfortable while placing you on his lap.

“So then explain. Talk. Tell me about this ‘different world’ you claim you’re from, princess.” He said with air quotes as he kept one arm snug around your waist.

“I can’t,” you sighed and looked down at your hands in your lap, “if I told you everything, I know for a fact you’d just drop me outta your life...I know it’s selfish but I don’t know if I could honestly handle that,” you quietly said. Bakugou tilted your head so you were facing him.

“Nothing you say could ever make me want to get rid of you..I promise.....something about you just..makes me need to have you around.” He said caressing your cheek. You both stared at each other, enjoying the warmth you both radiated. The atmosphere changed into something some would call love, and if this was what it was, you didn’t want it to stop. It became something so comforting and addicting the both of you didn’t want to lose it.

Once again, the world around you fell away, as you and Bakugou became the only two people in the world again. He leaned in closer, and you mimicked his actions, until the soft feeling of his lips pressed against yours. Fireworks went off in your head as you met in the middle in the softest way, and what started as a passionate kiss turned into a sweet makeout. Your lips danced across one another and you both could savor the taste you were experiencing. While the flavor of caramel and spice came onto you, the delicious taste of strawberries and scent of vanilla invaded Bakugou’s senses. He adored the way you tasted and craved it even more after every second. When you both finally separated, you stared at each other with starry eyes and heavy breaths as you leaned against each other in a loving way. Blush adorned both your faces as the comforting silence filled the air once again. Bakugou was the first to speak.

“Y/N...whatever it is you need..assistance, time, comfort, I’ll always provide. Just please don’t push me away ‘cuz I won’t go.” He said with his head against yours.

“Yeah..heh, I believe you,” you softly said. Bakugou pulled your head down to lean against his shoulder as you cuddled into him, enjoying the moment. Until you realized, you might just have to tell him everything. Bakugou seemed to sense your little nerve and settled you down. He kissed the crown of your head before speaking.

“Tell me everything when you’re ready, princess.” He said. You felt tears of joy fill your eyes, but you didn’t let them fall. You just reveled in the comfort and love Bakugou was giving you. Love. How amazing. Something many people had told you, you didn’t deserve. But Bakugou came in and changed all of that for you. He came into the darkness and provided the small amount of light you needed. You were so thankful for him. You smiled before speaking in a sweet voice of appreciation.

“Okay.”

[suckjasmins]

The love story Part 1

A/n soo im rewriting this story lol i just felt like i could do better so yeah and sorry for being gone for so long (if anyone noticed) i didnt and still dont have wifi, I only have it when my sister is home and she works lol so it will take time for me to post

edit: guess who has wifi bitches!!?? this bitch right here!!

Pairings: Bakugou x Reader

Word count: 2069 (nice) words

Warnings: none lol

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Only the sound of the rain and the thunder was the only thing anyone heard. It was one of the few days where it rained and usually would be celebrated. Living in the desert like place, only heat and blinding sun was regular. A rainy day was like a blue moon, and everyone, celebrated it. The kids would play in it, the young adults would party in it, the elders would simply stand in it and converse with one another. Music and laughter would be the only thing anyone heard. This day was the opposite however, and the reason for it? More than half of the village was gone, they were on a hunting trip that should only lasted for a few weeks. It had been a few months now, and everyone was beginning to lose their hope of the hunting group returning. The only ones left were, children and elders and a few adults that had stayed for different reasons.

You were one of the adults that stayed, your reason was that you fell sick right before leaving. It was then decided that it was too dangerous for you to leave the village. It took all of your friends to convince you to stay. And let's say you were furious that you had stayed, especially now that the group were now gone. But you were not the only one who's heart were filled with rage and sorrow.

The warriors and the dragons had left to hunt the orcs who had dangerously been inching in close to the village. The whole village thought that if they could get rid of the orcs now. All would be safer, and the orcs didn't have the recourses to go to war now, so why wait until the orcs can?

You sat on the floor at the opening of the tent. Watching the puddle, you thought about how hot it still was when it was raining. You thought about your friends, and what you would be doing if they were here. You probably would be dancing and partying in the rain. And nobody would be able to hear the siren over the music, unlike right now when it was going off. The siren that only was used to important things, to signal when a new season started or when someone returned home-

When someone was returning home after war or after a long time...

You looked up, towards the mountains and right there, in the middle of the mountains. A group of people were walking towards the village. They were too far away to be able to see who they were, but everyone knew. It was them.. Getting up, you started to run towards to the group of people, standing and watching them. You pushed your way to the front and your vision started to blur from tears. Even though it was still raining, even though it was still dark from all the clouds. It felt like the sun was shining, like the rain now was a sweet reminder of the parties that usually held place here.

The group were closer now, and you could clearly see how hurt they all were. The few dragons by the humans was transformed to their human shapes. Almost everyone were limping, and helping each. other to walk. Finally you could not hold yourself back and you broke out of the crowd. A few kids following you, you made you way to the group. The first person you saw were Mina, your long time best friend. And by her side were Eijiro, one of his wings were bandaged.

"Mina! Eijiro!" you screamed out as you neared them. You stopped a step from them and you went to hug them when you realized that that wouldn't be the best.

"Are you guys ok..? Is it ok if I hug you or..?" you fidgeted around, only you three stood there, everyone walking around you.

Mina chuckled and leaned forward, hugging you. You hugged back, squeezing her hard until she slightly winced. It felt like you hugged each other for hours, rambling about different things. Like how much you missed each other.

"Hey.. when is it my turn for a hug?" Eijiro whined behind Mina, crossing his arms and playfully pouted.

"Now's your turn" you let go of Mina and turned to him. "Come here big guy" you squeezed him just like Mina. You two also stood forever and rambled about things. Just like when you were younger, he always felt like home. You also would stand there forever if Mina hadn't interrupted the two of you.

"The Bakugous is about to start their speech, let's get over there, then can you two continue your hugging party." she nodded towards the scene where Mitsuki Bakugou, the village leader, or queen, was about to start her speech. Walking towards her, you blended into the crowd already there. Mitsuki Bakugou stood in the middle of the scene, her husband, Masaru Bakugou stood slightly behind her, a supporting hand on her shoulder. On her other side stood Katsuki Bakugou with his usual scowl on his face. Mitsuki exchanged a few words with Masaru before turning her attention forward.

"Everyone... We'er finally back from the hunting trip that were only supposed to last a few weeks. It was hard but I'm glad to tell you the exiting news. When we arrived to the last sighting of orcs, we saw that there were a few who had made camp there. We fought them off our land and got information on where the main camp was. When we arrived, we were shocked to say the at least. There were a lot more than we thought there were going to be. We had to make camp and discuss our new battle plans. But then we were ready, and we fought. And... even though it was a big possibility that we would lose a few soldiers... WE LOST NONE!" a big cheer broke out and people started to almost party right there and then. Mitsuki with only her hand silenced and calmed down the crowd. "We fought bravely, many of us were hurt and are going to be treated shortly after this speech. We have now gotten rid of the orcs that harmed and threatened our land. And luckily... the mating season has not started yet. It will begin in a 2 short weeks along with spring. I feel like this year is extra special, and we will treat it like it. Now just a few words from my husband and from my soon then you can continue to reunite with your close and loved ones" she finished her speech and stepped to the side. Her husband and her switching their places. He cleared his throat and started with his speech.

"Even though my wife has said almost everything there is to say, I have a few words. I want to say thank you, for every brave soul that followed us to fight the evil. It is only with their help that we could defeat the enemy without losing one of our own. And for anyone wondering... the harvest has been good this year. And along with the animals we hunted on our way back. We have more than enough food to relax without the need to hunt. We will celebrate the beginning of spring with a feast so big it will last for days!" he laughed and the crowd cheered again. The thought of being able to properly relax and the thought of food, making everyone happy. Mitsuki then pushed her son, Katsuki, to the front. It was then you noticed his arm were wrapped and hung around his neck. It was clearly broken, you looked around and noticed a lot of people had broken something. But thankfully Mina or Eijiro hadn't broken anything. Eijiro was only bleeding from his wing but otherwise was okay.

"I would like to say... It was brave of everyone to follow on this trip, to risk their life for each other. And now we can celebrate it" his words were short and you could hear how he didn't mean any of that. Or maybe he did but was too tired to say it. Everyone clapped and Mitsuki clapped Katsukis shoulder. She whispered something to him and he scowled. The Bakugou family left the stage and almost the whole crowd turned to the direction of the medical tent. You walked with Mina, Eijiro had left to find Katsuki Bakugou, his dear friend.

"So Mina, are you excited about the mating season?" you asked her, as you walked together.

"Ah... I don't know actually... I mean Eijiro competed for me last year and well, I don't know if he's going to do it again" she answered, she stared ahead at nothing. You got a brilliant idea, almost like a lightbulb went off in your head.

"Why don't you compete for him? I mean it's tradition that couples compete every year and imagine how happy he would be!" your eyes shined as you awaited for her answer.

"Omg... Y/n I love you!" she grabbed your shoulders and shook you back and fort before hugging you. "And it can be a surprise too!" you laughed along with her.

"I'm really happy for you, you know? I don't think your or Eijiro could fins a better match" you smiled warmly while Mina gave you a cute pout.

"That's so sweet... I have to do something for you now!" she gasped and pulled you with her. "What if... I help you find someone to compete for you or someone for you to compete for?!"

"Ah... Mina, there isn't really anyone I'm interested in.." you sighed, you never really thought about dating or anything like that. But it wasn't the first time someone told you to get a date.

"I know I know... but if there's someone who would be a great match for you? It would be Bakugou!" she almost yelled out, which resulted in you covering her mouth with your hand.

"Shush! You can't just yell that!" you shushed her, she only giggled in response. "And.. Bakugou..?" you slightly blushed.

"Yes yes! I was with him a lot during this trip and you'er perfect for each other!"

"But I don't really know him? Like at all?" that was a lie, you did know Bakugou. Or at least you knew him when you were younger. You and Bakugou were thick as thieves when you were children.

It was only after he started to really bully Midoryia that you had told him to stop. Before that you would also tease Midoryia, call him Deku and laugh along with Bakugou. When you became 5 you got close with Midoryia, and started to be his friend too. And at the same time Bakugou only bothered Midroyia more. You would try to protect Midoryia but would always run after Bakugou, laughing and playing with him. Until you stayed, and told Bakugou to stop. It was the first time you were deadly serious and Bakugou only let out a tch before leaving. After that day Bakugou started to ignore you, and would bully Midoryia as much as you could.

But now, you had grown up and you pretended that you didn't know Bakugou. Like you never talked to him at all. A lot of the elders knew of your friendship, but never discussed it. The people your age didn't know, mostly because they weren't there when you were younger. It was like your friendship with Bakugou was in an another life time.

When you and Mina arrived at the tent, you saw a long line of people waiting. You let out a sigh and turned to her. You scanned her up and down and tilted your head. She wasn't really hurt, only scrapes and dirt on her skin. She didn't limp or act like anything hurt.

"Mina, are you hurt? Or why are we here?" you asked, not knowing what her answer would be.

"Oh not really... But I have a nasty cut on my back that need to be cleaned" she shrugged, and turned to stand in line. You lit up.

"That's great!" you exclaimed, before wincing. "I don't mean it's great you have a cut but I have stuff at my place. I could patch you up there!" you smiled.

"Oh really? Great! Let's go" she turned swiftly around, already heading to your tent.

[quiveringdeer]

pet sickness, pet passing, grieving

I lost my Grayson yesterday morning so just typin down some feelings to get them out.

this is basically like a diary for me so i feel better putting this down here than on insta where I've already been posting lots of photos of him. But anywho, I lost my Grayson yesterday morning. He was having a dental procedure to remove some teeth that were inflaming his gums and painful for him to eat. Turned out there were actually 4 that needed extracting instead of the 2 the vet had originally noticed. So he was in more pain than we even knew.

I found out last May that his "small heart murmur" that the rescue told me about after I'd decided to pick him just as I was about to sign the papers-- turned out Gray had that and extremely advanced terminal heart disease. He was only 6ish when I adopted him in summer 2020 and had previously been a feral but had such a sweet demeanor that he found his way to the rescue to be adopted.

Two weeks ago his blood work was saying good to go with the anesthesia. Then Tuesday night him AND Brook began puking multiple times. The frequency in such a short time and with BOTH of them was hella concerning so took them in Wednesday to be checked since Gray's procedure was to be Thursday morning. They both got some nausea meds and the vet noticed Gray's gums were pretty enflamed but nothing to worry about, I could've taken them both back home that afternoon. Since I live about 40 min from the vet and these gas prices are outrageous I decided to pay for him to be held overnight so I could save a little money and almost 2 hours drive time to and fro.

Got a call around 10 when the doc said he was stable and doing ok, told me more teeth than expected had to come out and what the price would be, I agreed and then around 10:45 or something I was just starting to make myself food when the vet called again. The procedure was supposed to take like 30 min so didnt think anything of it, and as soon as I heard her voice I knew something was wrong. He didn't end up coming around from the anesthesia, they tried some different things to assist, and his teeth had caused lots of heavy bleeding and the vet isn't sure exactly what it was but guessed maybe he threw a blood clot and had a stroke.

So they had him on oxygen but there wasnt really anything dor them to do and wanted me to come and say goodbye. And when I got there, he was gone, which like he was pretty much already while on the phone but they put me in a private room and then his vet brought him in wrapped up lile a swaddled baby in a towel for me to hold him and be with him as long as I needed and this is the first time I've lost a pet as an adult and I waited over a decade till I felt financially and geographically stable enough to finally adopt pets of my own. And it's wrecked me.

But he needed the procedure cause it was causing him not to eat like he usually does and that's just how things are but fuck it hurts so damm much.

I think Brook is grieving too, she's generally pretty high energy and would always get zoomies and playfully attack him, of which he remained unbothered because he was such an amazingly chill cat, and I took out some of her toys today to toss around and she has a high prey drive but just looks at me like, what are you doing? And she's always snuggly but she's been extra so, even the night he stayed at the vet. She's not good at being alone and I had gone out to meet friends for dinner. I originally adopted another cat to be her companion while I was at work.

But yeah. Gray would always be the one to get up and follow me to the bathroom cause he liked to get head scratches. And he didn't really meow, I guess cause he grew up in a feral colony, but he'd open his little mouth real big and let out a whisper kind of meow when he was hungry or wanted treats even tho i got them an automatic feeder. And last May when he had to start taking meds for his heart condition morning and night, it helped me get on a ritual of giving him his morning meds and then taking my own. Which is how I was able to get him certified as an emotional support animal. And today I had to take them and I'd left his leftover meds at the vet yesterday since he wouldnt be taking them, and yeah it and going to the bathroom and not hearing his little whisper meow have been such big triggers today. And ive been crying off and on all day which is good. But yeah.

I have an alarm set for his night meds that just went off and my phone reads the reminder so it says, "evening pimobendan for GrayGray" and I'm losing it again here sobbing and getting the notif is what sparked me to write this all down. I havent been going to therapy since like November cause i just wasnt really vibing with my therapist anymore so typing this down is helpful.

But yeah. I fucking miss him and it was so damn hard to see him there still and limp. And his body was still warm but his ears and paws had already gone cold and I don't know if it's cause it's just my grief to bare and the fact that no one else really knows him like I do, or that it happened so quick, but it feels more cutting than when my grandparents passed. Which I had also been anticipating for some time but involved lots of other family being around and community and such so.

Today my two cousins and I were sharing photos and lil funny moments about him since they lived with me for a little over a month at the start of 2021 and had bonded close with him and brook. It's helped. I've also decided to get him cremated, to be able to still have him close i guess?? i dont fuckin know. I dont own a house or anything so I don't have a place to bury him. And it was gonna be like 300 or somethin to recieve the ashes back but fuck it. I was fine dedicating my tax refund check to that and paying off his med bills. And the vet staff were so fuckin generous and kind. They have a donation fund people give to to help out clients in special situations and the lady helping me decide on the next preparations came back in and told me they had all decided to gift me from those funds and pay for his cremation. And his vet even texted me today to check in on me and offer her support if I needed to call.

So I've been reading a bunch of articles about this grieving process cause analytical brain and trying to read stories of others going through similar emotions is helping. I'm gonna order an engraved box urn from etsy that I can have for his ashes and his little bowtie collar he never even wore since he and brook are strictly inside and he had some hairloss in a line around his neck from where I guess a previous collar had been. But it's his so.

Last May after learning about his advanced heart disease and hearing he had probably less than 6 months to live--which he fuckin beat like the little badass he was--a friend of mine who's an awesome photographer do a photoshoot of him and us together. She's been havin a rough year so I hadnt really bothered her about getting the files. Plus he was still truckin and being his mighty little self. But I'm gonna get an urn that let's you slip in a picture on the front and hoping to use one of those.

I also unplugged the automatic feeder cause at the three meal times it has a short recording I made that calls him and brook to meal time, and I don't have the heart to erase and change the recording.

All over the place but that's what diaries are for.

I don't even know what I believe in spirtually but to his energy, I love you GrayGray, you were such an amazingly chill cat who put up with me and Brook's shenanigans and I' so grateful that I got to meet you and give you a furever family home with us and that you are no longer in pain. I really miss you sweetsweetboy. Thanks for blessing my life with knowing your beautiful, sassy, little soul.

[btsslowburnfic]

Series Summary: For Namjoon, the moment he set his sights on being the #1 rapper, he pushed the symbol to the side and hated it. Love should be chosen, not forced on you. He didn’t believe in fate and this mark on his wrist was a big “fuck you” to all that.

AN: a loooong update where we get YN to Korea Previous Chapter here

The three of you made it safe and sound to your new brownstone across the river in New Jersey. Joe has a job lined up, but at the moment you and Xavier are unemployed. On this particular day, you are in your room job hunting when you hear a knock on your bedroom door and then see Xavier gently push it open. “Fly your ass to Korea. Now. Here,” Xavier throws a book at you. “I bought you a Korean dictionary.”

You roll your eyes. “Namjoon speaks English. And I can’t read the characters or whatever so how will a dictionary help. And, I’m not going to Korea.”

Xavier crosses his arms in front of his body. “Girl. You are still in your twenties. You have no job. There is a hot man who is also your soulmate across the ocean. GO TO KOREA.” You pick your phone back up, ignoring him. You hear him let out a frustrated sigh and leave the room. You didn’t know what you wanted. You didn’t tell them that Namjoon had passed along his schedule to you and that he would be in Korea for 6 weeks starting in two weeks and that he had offered to buy you a plane ticket. You kept going back and forth. Fine. Fuck it.

YN: Hey! I’ve been thinking and I would like to come visit. As long as it’s not too much trouble and won’t interfere with your schedule

You let out a breath and put the phone down. One thing you have learned is that he keeps very strange hours and there is no way of knowing when he will be awake, when he will be performing, or even what country he is in. You are shocked when you receive a reply instantly.

NJ: It’s no problem. I will be working a lot of the time, but there is also some free time blocked out so make sure you’re ready to do some sightseeing as well on your own. I’ll rent a noona for you.

YN: I have no idea what that means but ok. Sounds exciting.

NJ: You can rent tour guides. An “older sister” to translate and show you around on some of the days.

YN: That would be amazing! Ok. Sounds great!!

NJ: I’ll book the flight and email you the information.

YN: Awesome ^_^ Thank you so much.

You try to keep your cool. You really do. But it doesn’t last long as you sit the phone down and walk out into the hallway. “Xavier!”

“What? Brat.” You hear him call from the living room.

“I’m going to Korea!” You say with a big smile on your face.

“Holy shit. You’re doing it!?! Really? When?” He sits up straight on the couch.

“I’m not sure. He’s booking the flight.”

“Oh my God. Oh my God. IT’S HAPPENING. Come. Sit here. Let’s watch some Kdramas. We need to prepare you.”

You roll your eyes but join him on the couch anyway.

--3 weeks later--

The flight isn’t too bad. When Namjoon booked your ticket you did secretly wonder if he would spring for an upgraded seat since you know...you guessed he was rich. You did not expect that he was going to pay for a first class seat though. The comfort of the seats and the fact that food was actually delicious helped to balance out the longest flight you had ever taken in your life. You managed to get some rest on the plane, but not very much since you were so excited and nervous. You had not seen each other for a while. And the last time you saw him you were both naked.

When you arrive you don’t have any bags to collect; you just brought your carry-on. You know you are going to do a lot of shopping while you are there and had decided you would just buy a suitcase there. You walk down to departures and scan the crowd looking for your name. This was so exciting. You had been the person in the crowd holding a name placard before, but you had never had it done for you. It helped that it was one of the few names written in English. You smile and walk over to a man in a suit.  After confirming each other’s identity, you follow him out to a black SUV with tinted windows. He takes your bag and you slide into the backseat. 

YN: Hey! I’m on my way to the hotel. When will I get to see you?

NJ: Yeah….about that. There is no way I would be able to just be going in and out of a hotel without anyone here noticing. This isn’t LA. We can’t really go out in public much here. The driver will be taking you to my apartment complex. Once you get here, you will let security know who you are. They will provide you with a key and directions.

You weren’t expecting this at all, but it made sense.

YN: Umm ok. Sounds like a plan. 

You hoped to God someone at the security office spoke English. Oh well. You typed some things into your translation app just in case and tried to enjoy the scenery. It was a city, but it seemed a lot cleaner than LA. Less sunny, and more modern. At least the parts you were driving through.

After a fifteen minute taxi ride that has brought you into a very fancy part of Seoul you try to keep your cool as your driver assures you that this is the location you are supposed to be at. It is fancy looking as fuck and has a giant ass gate around it. The driver pulls up and shows his credentials and then pulls up and rolls your window down.

The security officer stands there, looking at you. You pull out your passport and state your name. He looks over a sheet of paper and nods. Handing you an envelope that feels like it has a keyboard and some papers in it. You thank him in shitty Korean and the driver closes the window. You open the envelope.

“Hey. If you’re getting this, I wasn’t able to get off work in time to meet you. The driver knows which building to go to. Use this key to go to unit 4106. Text me when you get there. Sorry!

Namjoon”

The chauffeur drives between several of the buildings. The streets are lined with trees and there appeared to be several small gardens between the buildings. The car comes to a stop outside building 4. The driver gets out to open your door and hands you the bag. You thank him and head into the building.

The apartment building was a lot like a luxury hotel, you find yourself thinking. It was decorated similarly with gilded light fixtures and a marble floor. You scan your key card at the elevators and head up to the 10th floor. 

It becomes very obvious from the minute you walk in that this is Namjoon’s actual apartment. His giant shoes are all over the foyer.  You purse your lips and take out your phone.

YN: YOU DIDNT SAY IT WAS YOUR APARTMENT

NJ: Relax sweetheart, the guest bedroom is for you. I’m hardly ever there. Make yourself at home and I’ll see you later ;p

YN: THATS NOT THE POINT

NJ: You’re welcome. Stop being a brat and enjoy.

You pout a little bit. Fine. Fine. You’ve already slept with him so why does it matter if this is his apartment. Because it feels so much more intimate, you think. You enter into the space while texting Xavier.

YN: New chapter in the Kdrama series. 

You knew Xavier would normally be sleeping, but he was so excited and wanted to make sure you made it safely he was wide awake.

X: Oh no, what?

YN: he didn’t arrange for me to stay in a hotel IM AT HIS APARTMENT.

X: AHAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT. Is it nice? Is there like a waterfall? Does it smell like rich people? Send pictures!

YN: I don’t think I should send pics since he’s famous, but there are no waterfalls that I can see. It smells normal. Actually no, it smells new, like people don’t really live here. Stay tuned for updates.

X: Has he dicked you yet?

YN: -_- he’s stuck at work. And I’ll be in the guest bedroom thankyouverymuch.

X: Yeah….ok…..suuuuuuure.

You put your phone back in your pocket and continue to wander around the apartment. It is the size of a house. There is a small terrace running  along the side of the unit and three open rooms that flow together. I guess rich people need more than one living room? You wonder. They are all furnished with couches and art. The floors are a beautiful Marble. Or Granite. Some expensive imported thing. You notice several plants on the wall as well as out on the terrace. Huh. I did not think he would be into plants, you find yourself thinking.

YN: Nice plants

NJ: My pride and joy

You smile and walk into the kitchen. It looks like a showroom. You doubt much cooking goes on here. If you could afford to eat out all the time you would too. You open the fridge and as predicted, it is mostly empty. There are a few bottles of water and some random condiments. Panic strikes you as you begin to wonder if there’s a coffee maker in this apartment. This could be a deal breaker; you might have to flee to the Marriott. There isn’t one sitting out. You frantically open cabinets. You make eye contact with a very fancy looking Espresso maker. Ok. You will learn how to use this beast. You sit it out on the counter and plug it in. Crisis averted for now. You continue through the rest of the house. You quickly find the master bedroom. Big bed. That’s all you take note of before closing the door. You don’t want to be nosy. You wander to the other end of the apartment and find an extra bedroom and an office. You don’t go to the office, but do take your stuff into the guest bedroom. You are feeling tired and starting to feel hungry.

YN: When will you be back? Is there a convenience store nearby? I need coffee and/or food.

NJ: Sorry. It will still be a while. Actually there are several stores on property. The closest one is in building 2. Here, download the app. I’ll send you the login info.

YN: Thanks.

You change out of your traveling clothes into real clothing and head to the market. The apartment complex’s layout is fairly easy to understand once you look at the app. You walk over to tower 2 and ride the elevator to the market level. It looks like the atrium of a cruise ship. There is a giant crystal chandelier hanging in the middle of the lobby area as well as beautiful indoor trees, glass art bulbs, probably a peacock or two wandering around, and some light music playing in the background. Oh God. I should just starve. This is too fancy. I need to leave.  

You turned to leave when you heard a voice speaking politely in Korean. You ignore it, and then hear the same voice ask in English,  “Excuse me, Miss. Can I help you?” A short man in his 50’s walked over. “I’m on the concierge staff here. You must be new.” 

“Ah yes. Thank you. Umm...Coffee please?”

“Of course. Take-away or beans?”

“Both please?” You ask, trying to keep it simple and very thankful for the English.

“Yes of course. If you just get me the unit number I can actually just have it sent there. Also there is an ordering and delivery app you can use next time if you would like to save yourself the walk.” The man explained while he typed some information into a tablet. 

“That’s very helpful. Thank you. For today, now please.” 

“Very well miss, please insert your chip or resident card here and sign,” he turned the tablet towards you. You inserted your debit card.  

“Thank you. Please wait.”

You take a seat in the fancy lobby area and get out your phone. You had some messages from Namjoon.

[NJ]: Oh, there is also an app you can download and order groceries to the apartment. 

[NJ]: I usually eat at work so I forget about it.

[NJ]: Sorry, you probably already hiked there.

A smirk crossed your face as you started to type a response.

[Y/N]: Sorry, I just saw these. And no worries. It’s a beautiful part of the complex. I was a little overwhelmed to be honest but the concierge was very helpful!  10/10 recommend.  

You take a picture of the lobby area and send it to him.

[NJ]: wow, yeah that’s beautiful. I haven’t actually been there myself.

The concierge returns, handing you a coffee and a bag of coffee beans.  You thank him profusely one more time.

“My pleasure. Take care.”

You sit the beans down and pose with your coffee cup, snapping a selfie to send to Namjoon.

[Y/N]: There, now all is right with the world ^_^

[NJ]: :) See you soon!

You travel back to the apartment and unpack your suitcase. You try your hardest to stay awake, but at this point you have been up for over 24 hours and you can feel the pull of sleep. You’ll just lay down for a nap. 

---------

It is dark outside by the time Namjoon gets off work. He feels bad he couldn’t meet you in the car at the airport, and even worse that he’s kept you waiting for hours. You haven’t answered any of his texts these past few hours either. He opens the door to his apartment. The lights are off. Did you leave? He wonders. He flips on the light and sees your shoes by the door which put a smile on his face. You must be sleeping. He hasn’t actually been in his apartment for about 2 months. It was mostly the same as he left it, except most of the time when he returned the apartment had a stale smell from having been left empty. This time it smelled like coffee and girl.

He enters the main living area and finds you laying in a small blanket nest on the couch with a laptop on the table; a coffee cup resting on a coaster next to it. He smiles and goes through to his bedroom to deposit his travel bag. He washes his face and changes clothes and then proceeds to nervously pace. Should he wake you up? You were probably tired, but at the same time, to prevent jet lag you shouldn’t sleep too much, and he wanted to hang out with you. He wrestles with this issue for a while and then decides he will try to wake you up.

He gently shakes your foot, “Hey sleepy. Wake up.” 

“Mmmmmmmmmmm…” you respond. What’s happening? You kick the thing bothering your foot. So annoying. You hear a deep voice laugh. Oh shit, where were you again? The shaking of your foot resumes and you crack open one of your eyes and see Namjoon sitting on the couch. “Heyyyy.”

“Hey there sweetheart. Nice seeing you in Korea.”

You feel your heart do a little flip flop at the way he’s talking to you but you want to play it cool. “Yeah. It’s good to be here.” You stretch out and move to sit up.

“How are your legs doing?” He asks.

“Good. They get stiff pretty easily and I still have to do my exercises everyday but they don’t hurt most of the time or anything. I get pretty bad headaches from time to time, but you already knew that. Sorry about that by the way.”

“It’s fine, I just carry aspirin around with me now.” He shrugs. “Did you get any food? Should I order something?”

“Yeah. Order some super Korean food.” You are fully awake now.

“Yeah? You serious? It’s not going to be like Koreatown food.” He teases

“Might as well jump in. If I don’t like it, there’s always rice, right?” You smile.

“That’s true,” he takes out his phone to order dinner.

“What did you do today?”

“Today was planning for the Festa. Even though it’s months away we have to make sure we have enough content planned just in case there are any unforeseen delays.”

“Cool.” You say. You had done your basic level ARMY research so you were somewhat familiar with their different activities.

“How was your flight? You should probably get up and stretch those legs around. Get up.” He pushes your shoulder playfully.

“Ughhh….fine. By the way. Nice apartment. Is rent like 20 grand a month?” You stand up groaning slightly like an old woman. Damn stiff legs.

“Uhh...I paid 6 million dollars for it up front so I don’t pay rent. Do you want anything to drink?”

It’s a good thing you weren’t drinking anything when he dropped that little factoid on you or you would have spit it out comic-book style. Jesus. That explained the security and Gucci grocery store. “Uh water please.” You walked over following him to the kitchen. “It’s good to see you by the way. Thanks for inviting me.” You slowly remember how to speak like a human again.

“Sure. I wish I had more free time to spend with you, but I’m glad you were able to make it.” He fills a glass with water for you. “Wait a minute! Before I forget,” he jogs out of the room and returns with a small box. “Here, this is for you. We were in Australia last month and I wanted to get something for you.”

You are surprised. It didn’t occur to you that he would think about you or buy you something. Until a few months ago you had considered yourself a nuisance. “Wow, thank you so much. You didn’t have to do that.” you say, taking the box, “I hope it’s a tiny KNOIFE or tiny koala or tiny kangaroo,” you open the box. It is an adorable mug with a Koala on it superimposed on the Australian Continent. It says in English, “Lucky Australian Koala.” You burst out laughing, cupping the mug with both your hands in front of your face. “This is perfection. Thank you so much for my authentic LUCKY AUSTRALIAN KOALA, I cannot wait to drink out of him tomorrow. Seriously. “ You sit the mug on the kitchen table. Fuck it. “Come here,” you gesture, and pull him in for a hug. His body feels solid against your and he gently wraps his arms around you. You give a firm squeeze. “Thank you for the mug and for flying me out here.”  You pull away and smile at him. 

He looks away almost shy, “It was nothing. I figure I still owe you a few for the pen incident.”

You take a drink of the water. “Yeah. You have had some dickish moments.” 

“Speaking of dickish behavior...do you want to talk about what happened with Ben or…?”

You shrug. “There’s not a lot to say. Ben apparently met his soulmate about 4 months before the car accident. He tried to stay away since we had already agreed that we didn't care about stuff like that. But he couldn't. I don't know when he started seeing Jessie behind my back. They were apparently banging all summer in the apartment and while I was in the hospital.” You take another gulp of water. Namjoon is surprised that he isn’t feeling much anger or sadness coming off of you. “After I got all my shit out of the apartment and had a chance to calm down, I couldn't be too mad about it you know? You and I had already slept together and most people aren't as stubborn as us. So really, how could they resist? I mean I was angry and sad at the time but at this point it seems like a lifetime ago. "

Namjoon had never asked about what had happened with Ben before, assuming that if you wanted to talk about it you would have brought it up. " Wow. "

"Yeah. I mean that's waaaay oversimplified but that's the gist of it. Anyways. Everything was a mess for me for a while. You know I stayed with Xavier and Joe and then  Xavier's husband got a really good job offer here so we all picked up and left LA."

“And now you’re in New York.” He finishes your thought

“Yeah. Well Jersey technically because rent is $1000 less a month. But I’m applying for jobs as assistant director at tv stations and theaters. I’m hopeful something will come up. I can’t really teach fitness classes anymore.”

Namjoon listens thoughtfully, feeling like a jackass for never asking about this stuff before. What kind of soulmate was he? 

“Well, let me know if you need a job reference.”

“Ahahahaha,” You laugh awkwardly. “No way. I don’t want people thinking I only got a job because I know someone famous.”

“Sweetheart, that’s how everyone gets jobs in the industry.” He leans against the counter.

“I don’t know, I’ll think about it.” You fidget

“You know I’ll just text Xavier and he’ll tell me the companies you applied for.” Namjoon flashes his dimples at you.

You scowl. “I didn’t realize you two were so chummy.”

“Hey, we bonded a lot in the hospital.” His phone let out a chirp. “The food is at the security office. I’ll be back in a few. Make yourself at home.” He heads over to the foyer to slip his shoes on. 

You decide to unpack and then wash your face and brush your teeth before returning to the main area where he has just returned. “That was fast”, you comment, meeting him near the door and taking a bag from his hands.

“I rode my bike over.” He replies, following you to the kitchen. 

“They let your clumsy ass ride a bike?” You tease, pulling food out.

He lets out a laugh, “Yeah. Just remember, only one of us has got hit by a car.”

“Touche. Touche. Alright. I don’t know what any of this is, so I’m going to go wait at the table like a lazy bitch.”

“Haha, fair enough. I’ll bring it over. “

You head over and have a seat at the dining table, placing your water down. This feels so weird. So intimate. He joins a few minutes later placing a bunch of food on the table along with a spoon and chopsticks.

“I’m sure there’s a fork around here somewhere if you need one.” He says as he opens the lids on the containers.

“I lived in LA where we ate sushi almost every day, I think I’ll be ok.” You sass back, ,looking over all of the delicious food. You start to dig in. He sits waiting to see what your reaction will be. You flash him a thumbs up as you chew. It’s definitely good. He smiles and begins to eat as well.

Dinner is relatively quiet. You had no idea how hungry you were until you started to eat. Some of the foods had a texture you didn’t quite care for, but overall you liked it all.

“Wow. That was delicious. Thank you so much.” You smile

“It was. You’re welcome.” He gets up and starts to clear the table and you join him. 

You continue to yawn involuntarily as the two of you straighten up the kitchen,

“Do you want some coffee or a nap?” he asks.

“I’m going to try and stay awake a little bit longer. What does the rest of the night look like?”

“Relaxing. I am exhausted from work. And you don’t look so fresh yourself. LEt’s watch a movie or something.” He says it so casually. Like this is a normal thing the two of you do. Like it hasn’t been months since the last time you saw each other and you left him naked and alone in a bed. You feel your heartbeat speed up.

“Hold on, I’m changing into some comfy clothes before I make this commitment.” you get up and head towards your room.

You come back in leggings and a shirt. Namjoon has re-positioned himself on the end of the couch. You sit next to him. “Ok, all set,” you grab your blanket. 

“You take your comfort quite seriously,” Namjoon laughs as he hits the play button. 

“Definitely,” you respond, yawning. After about half an hour, It’s dark outside, the night spilling into the living room. You are trying to keep your eyes open. You feel Namjoon put his large arm around you. You don’t resist, you nestle into it. You feel the warmth of his body radiating against you. It feels so nice.You try to stay awake but your eyelids grow heavy.  The next thing you know, you wake up slowly, not quite oriented to where you are. Your face is sweaty. You take stock of your surroundings. You are still in the living room. You must have fallen asleep while watching the movie. You move a bit and realize you are not alone. Namjoon is asleep as well. Underneath you. Oh god. You probably trapped him. Is that your drool on his shirt? You wonder. But you know that yes, it definitely is. Jesus [Y/N].Not making a great impression here.  Must sneak out so the drool will dry before he wakes up. You move as stealthy as possible off of him, which is very difficult since you found yourself laying between his legs. How did you even get like that? You had gone in for a light snuggle to see how it would be received and then apparently passed out dead. No more starting movies when you were tired. You knew it was your weakness. 

The poor man probably had to pee and was stuck, forced to lay underneath you until he fell asleep.    Is he snoring? Huh. Well ok. You drool and he snores. Very attractive individuals. You grab a blanket from your nest on the other side of the couch and put it on top of him. You sneak down the hallway to your bathroom, pee and sneak into your bedroom. You lay down and try to fall asleep, but your heart is beating fast as all you can think about it falling asleep on Namjoon. You feel your face grow warm. You are  a mix of turned on and embarrassed. You turn off your light and wonder if he will still want to go sightseeing with your drooly-ass tomorrow.  @calling-dips-on-j-hope​​  @ghostkat23​​ @cuteipat​​ @marianeamine​​@thisisval​​ @almonte12​​  @themisunderstoodblackswan​ @bobbyboops​  @betysotelo18​ @katerbees​

[leerongrong]

of peaches and clichés.

Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Summary: In which you’re Jaemin’s chemistry tutor and he’s your cliché flirty high school bad boy.

Requested: yes // im not creative enough to think of an idea but i crave your writing so im gonna try and request lol. chenle fluff? dkjfid i have no idea on specifics, sorry if this didnt help. or some flirty badboy!jaemin im weak for that

The sun's shinning down, rays breaking through clouds onto the school's rooftop. Winds sweep across your cheeks, eyelashes fluttering along with your textbook pages in the wind. Screeching shoes from the basketball team are heard from below, along with the coach's whistle and shouts. Your earphones block out most of the noise, a melody to help calm down your nerves from the stress of school work.

"Well, look who I ran into." A male's voice breaks you from murmuring the lyrics to the song, even going as far to startling you until the textbook previously lying on your lap is flung away. "I would say it was a coincidence, if I believed in them."

Your eyes trail to black shoes just in front of you, keeping track of the hands that bend down to retrieve the pink, tossed away textbook. Your eyes are trailing up onto the figure, taking in the sight of a slightly worn out leather jacket and an odd tuff of blue hair.

Every high school has a stereotype to them; some with big brain nerds, maybe even buff jocks that push said nerds into lockers. Others have preppy cheerleaders that smile and flirt at every living thing, or a gathering of Goth teens that only hang out with their own clique. You've never had an opinion of them, simply choosing to live your own life alongside your pack of friends who are deemed "smart" and ultimately being labeled as the school's good girl.

The white canvas, the teacher's pet, the school's innocent, the extremely sweet girl capable of making anyone smile, those are the names you've been called throughout high school. Not that you minded them, they're just labels put there by people who never even knew you.

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" The epitome of a high school stereotype would be the one standing just right in front of you; Na Jaemin, the school's bad boy who's never seen wear anything but a leather jacket and skinny jeans, the one that goes around with whispers following him like the plague, the one who breaks heart after heart when he's bored, the one you got assigned to tutor chemistry. "Because if I'm not wrong, you fell head over heels the moment I came through that door."

The need to suppress your smile exceeds the need to take your book back.

"Besides, who wouldn't fall for me?" Jaemin's flirting is something you've only heard of previously, hallway whispers going around about his sweet words that make girls fall for him. You've only got to experience the end of it just two months ago, after your first tutor session had begun, the boy never failed to spew sweet nothings at you, at first driving you crazy with how much time he wastes flirting instead of studying. "But why would you throw away the book I gave you?"

The sight of his exaggerated pout makes you feel butterflies in your stomach, something that's been happening after tutoring Jaemin. Your friends had warned you to stay away from him, to decline the teacher's offer of an added grade if you succeeded in raising his grades. You don’t know what came over you to agree into something like tutoring, at first what you thought was, a lost cause like Jaemin. You remember feeling bad for lying to your friends, telling them that you needed the extra grade when in reality your grades have been stable and you didn't need any extra credits.

The butterflies explode once more when his pout turns into an attractive smirk you've seen him paint on his face multiple times. You're ducking your head in hopes he doesn't see the blossoming blush on your cheeks, not sure whether you want someone to burst into the rooftop to save you from your embarrassment or to spend a few minutes with him.

You're not sure when you started developing feelings for Jaemin. All your life you’ve never been one to believe in love at first sight, always seeing the logical side, explaining to Jaemin that falling in love happens slowly but gradually, declining his objections and telling him repeatedly that love doesn't happen overnight, it happens with unspoken moments and sweet words between two people intertwined with each other.

Maybe it started two weeks after your first tutoring session; the first time you ever saw Jaemin asleep in the library after the two of you decided to study after school, the day you remember seeing dark bags under his eyes after forcing him to study with you over the phone, the day you gathered enough courage to sweep away the, then brown, bangs from his eyes.

”Studying again?” The librarian’s voice pulls your attention away from your phone, snapping your gaze towards her smiling face before you’re smiling yourself, nodding at her question. “With company today, I see.”

“Company? What do you mean?”

You see her nod her head and you’re forced to squint when you see a hooded figure sleeping on the table you normally sit at. “He’s been here for over an hour already, sleeping.”

The library’s silent, with no one but you, the librarian, and the sleeping figure on the desk. The air is warm but windy, perfect weather to study in if it weren’t for the mysterious person sitting in your spot. You’ve got half the mind to start talking to the person and wake him up when you round the table and see that it’s Jaemin. Your heart softens at the sight of his soft brown hair, make shift bed made with chemistry books, more so when you see the bags under his eyes.

Guilt starts eating at you when you remember you’re the one who practically forced him to stay up all night with you, studying for your pre-chemistry test that’s coming next week. You’re gathering the books around him, gently pulling the one under his head and replacing it with your neck pillow instead, the sight of him sleeping in a slightly better position lessening your guilt.

Hours pass just like that, the librarian signaling for you to pack up while you’re stretching your stiff joints. In the few hours, you realize that Jaemin looks nothing like the front he puts up every day when he’s asleep, he doesn’t look as rugged and mischievous, he looks more soft and nice like this. Another thing you notice is how soft his hair looks without any added products, the color reminding you of hot cocoa on a winter day.

Your eyes are darting back and forward on his face, searching for any signs he’s beginning to wake up, heart starting to beat slightly fast at the thought of being able to run your fingers through his hair. The librarian’s still moving around somewhere behind you and you’re cautiously lifting your hand up to his head, fingers slightly brushing against his tresses.

“If you wanted to touch, you could have asked.”

The yelp that pulls out of you has Jaemin smirking, said boy lifting both his hands up above his head to stretch. “And don’t think I didn’t catch you staring,” he smirks, “You can stare for however long you want, I won’t judge.”

Your face flushes red and you’re quick on your feet, dashing away out of the library after collecting your bag and essentials, leaving Jaemin alone with your abandoned neck pillow still in his hands. Jaemin’s smiling, hands playing with the peach shaped pillow while he’s staring at where you were sat.

“Cute.”

It could have started on the third week after your club activities; when you ran into Jaemin for the first time that day, getting the surprise of your life when you saw his freshly dyed pink hair. Getting another surprise when he dragged you into the library for a study session, when he didn't need a tutoring for another 2 days. It was the first day butterflies erupted in your tummy when he told you he dyed his hair pink because pink reminded him of you.

Banter is tossed around while you’re laughing along with your friend. Your club activities just finished and you’re itching to go to the library for a much needed alone time, between your classes and tutoring Jaemin, there isn’t much time left for you to recollect your thoughts.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

Your friends around you are all suddenly whispering, some fixing their hairs, others reapplying their lipsticks and you’re left wondering at the sudden change of attitude until Jaemin comes strutting down the hall with his usual leather jacket and not so usual bright pink hair. “Hi, peaches.”

“Peaches?” you choke out, “Who’re you calling peaches?”

“You.” He’s grinning at you, hands tugging at yours to pull you away from your peers and you’re slightly stumbling at his fast paced footsteps. “Or if you don’t like it I can call you Babe? Baby? Sweetheart?”

“Oh, I know!” He clicks his finger, “How about I call you mine?”

You force out a snort at his blatant flirting, thanking the Gods he’s not looking back at your frame, or else the full on blush on your face would’ve been blown. “Where are you taking me? Isn’t this the way to the library? Jaemin I don’t have to tutor you today.”

You’re met with silence as he continues to tug you into the library, waving a quick hello to the librarian when you pass her along the way. You bump into Jaemin’s chest when he suddenly stops in front of you and you’re on your tip toes when you see him pick an object up from your usual desk. “What are you doing?”

“You wanna know why I dyed my hair pink?” You’re sighing when he ignores your question, your patience running thin from your stolen ‘me time.’ He’s turning around and you’re shocked to see your peach neck pillow in his hands along with a chemistry test paper with the numbers 87 at the top left corner.

“My grades went up, thanks peaches.” He’s leaning down to your height, and goosebumps start to arise on your skin when his lips brush against the shell of your ear. “And I dyed my hair pink because pink reminds me of you.”

That day you’re the one left alone in the library, with a hand resting on your cheek, on the spot where Na Jaemin just kissed you.

Maybe it started on the fifth week when nature had decided to rain you in after school, all alone after studying for a physics test in the library, with the only other person there being Jaemin, who had to stay back for a physics make up test. The boy covering you with his beloved leather jacket, running under the rain all the way to your house which had resulted to him being absent the next day, getting a cold. 

“You bring an umbrella, peaches?”

Jaemin’s voice snaps you out of your stare off with the rain, said boy standing next to you with nothing but his leather jacket in hand and his backpack on his back. His previously bright pink hair has now been washed out, leaving only bits of light pink to color his hair and you’re embarrassed to say that it matches exactly with your peach neck pillow.

“No,” you mumble, “I’m guessing you didn’t too?”

”Always the smart one in the relationship.” Jaemin’s taking off his leather jacket and you look to him in confusion when he sets it on top of your shoulder, slightly adjusting the material so that it covers your head. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Why are you giving me your jacket?”

“I thought you were the smart one.” You open your mouth to banter with him, only to be cut of when he intertwines your fingers together. Your jaw falls slack and he’s laughing, pretending to push your jaw back up and fix it. “C’mon, peaches. Don’t tell me you’ve never watched kiss scenes under the rain before.”

Your stomach erupts with butterflies with the flirting that’s coming out of his mouth, and your hands feels warm encased in his much bigger ones. You’re watching as rain continues to fall from above, some drops slightly falling into Jaemin’s hair and there’s an unexplainable feeling that’s resting deep in you and you’re not sure you want to know what that feeling is.

“Let’s run!”

The run to your house is painfully quick, the two of you encased in laughter along the way while Jaemin had a minor heart attack when you almost slipped across a walkway, and now the roof of your house acts as a shield from the rain, both you and Jaemin still doubling over the stairs as you try to recollect your breaths.

You’re mostly dry, Jaemin’s jacket acting as a wonderful rain coat most of the way, while Jaemin’s drenched from head to toe. You’re eyeing the way his clothes stick onto him like second skin, how his backpack is completely drenched and you’re surprised when your fingers twitch when you eye the way his bangs are sticking onto his forehead. “You want to come in?”

“No,” He teases, “I don’t do that until the 4th date.”

You’re gasping at his innuendos and Jaemin lets out a laugh when you smack his chest, the laugh turning into a shriek when he topples over the stairs and onto the busy street. Your hands are reaching forward and grabbing at Jaemin by the front of his shirt, pulling at it with all your might until he crashes onto you, both of your chests glued onto each other.

Both your hands are on his chest while his are on your waist. The air’s warm with a bit of chill in the air, the dripping rain drops and honking car horns act as background music to you and Jaemin’s scene, the later pulling you flush against him and you feel your shirt dampen from the water on his shirt. You’re holding in a breath, head lifting up to meet Jaemin’s gaze, the feeling from earlier coming back to you ten times as strong as before, as if constricting your lungs, making it hard for you to breath.

Jaemin’s eyes flick from yours onto your lips and you’re clutching at his shirt, finding it harder and harder to ground yourself when it feels as if you’re floating in mid air. Jaemin’s head dips down and you debate on closing your eyes, until the soft weight of his lips come on yours and every doubt disappears from your mind. Your eyes are closed and you stand on your tip toes to deepen the kiss.

His lips are slightly chapped, tastes like rain water with a mix of something sweet. His grip on your waist relaxes when the two of you separate for air, Jaemin slightly dipping back in to leave a peck on your lips.  His mouth leaves yours fully when he leans back to look at you, hands coming up to caress your cheeks and slightly swollen lips. Your own hands works to sweep back his hair, letting you to finally get a clear view of his eyes.

Minutes pass while the two of you stare at each other, the moment finally breaking when Jaemin lets out a laugh and smile. “If all I had to do is give you my jacket and run in the rain for you to kiss me, I would’ve done it weeks ago.”

“Is a kiss all you wanted, Na Jaemin?” you tease, “I would’ve given it to you if it meant you leaving me alone.”

He’s pulling you into him again, eyes searching into yours while his lips stretch out into a smile. His hands tug at your cheek while he dips down once more, pressing a kiss onto your lips. “Not a chance. I want you, all of you.”

“Hello?” Jaemin leans down to your level when you don’t answer, breaking you out of your memory daze. “Am I asking too many questions?”

“It always takes me a while to put words together.” You pout at him. “It’s not you.”

He moves closer, his heart-stopping smile returning onto his lips. “Oh? Is it when we’re alone like this I make you speechless?”

“We’re dating, Nana.” You laugh. “You don’t make me speechless, not anymore. Especially after I found out what a dork you truly are.”

“But I can still make you blush.” His hands are suddenly on your hips, lifting you onto the railing and planting a kiss onto your kips, a spectacle anyone can see from all around the school. You let out a squeak when he bites onto your bottom lip, nibbling and dragging it with him as he breaks the kiss. You feel warmth spread all over your body, especially your cheeks, more so when he sends you his sweet-as-candy smile. “See? You’re too cute, peaches.”

The epitome of a high school stereotype would be the one standing just right in front of you; Na Jaemin, but now he’s the boy who got you a pink textbook just so you could match his hair, the boy who lends you his leather jacket when it’s cold, the boy who painted on blues, pinks, gold, reds and every color there is on your once white canvas.

You’re not sure when you started falling for Na Jaemin, all you knew was that falling for him wasn’t falling at all. It was walking into two arms and suddenly knowing you’re home.

“So does that mean you’re going to buy me a blue textbook?”

“Anything for my sweet peaches.”

[strangeinternetwasteland]

Cross the Line Part 2

A/N: Let me know if you want a part 3, that would be the final part

Word Count 1.9K

Warnings: Swearing and mentions of abortion

You struggled to breathe, you felt your heartbreak into a million pieces. You did this to yourself. You didn’t go back to his apartment. You just packed your clothes from your apartment and ran. You didn’t care where you ended up, or if you died. The look on Bakugo’s face was enough. The venom in his voice was enough to make you vomit right then and there. You knew you couldn’t go back to the League. You debated whether or not to go to the commission for protection. Deciding against that since they’d probably just kill you on sight for just endangering their mission.

You wandered on the streets for a while. You thought about the last few months, and how blissful they truly were. You sat in a dark alley on top of your suitcase and cried. You let it all out, every emotion poured out of you. No one else seemed to have cared at all. The scream that erupted from your throat was full of pain. You didn’t notice when someone approached you.

“Y/N?” A concerned voice pulled you back to reality. Deku looked at you. You had met him a few times, and knew that he grew up with Bakugo.

“Are you okay?” He asked you. You nodded, why should he be brought into your drama. Into the world you created yourself.

“Is it Kaa-Chan?” He questioned you. “I know he can be so quick to anger. Give him sometime, he’ll cool down. You two will be okay. He loves you.” He tried reassuring you. You just broke down again, crying harder.

“No. It can’t be okay. It won’t be okay. I fucked up. Really really bad.” You stuttered out between sobs.

“How about you stay with me for a bit?” He offered you. You didn’t object, you really just wanted to lay your head down for a bit in a place where you’d be safe for a moment. When you arrived at Midoriya’s apartment, he showed you to the guest room. You closed the door behind you, laid on the bed, The last thought on your mind was about keeping the baby. You fell asleep after a few slow, long blinks. You awoke a few hours later yelling.

“DUMBASS, I told you. She’s the enemy. She’s a villian.” You heard Bakugo yelling.

“Kaa-Chan, I don’t think she is. Everyone is capable of change.” Midoriya defended you.

“You really don’t know her. How could she lie to me so easily? I loved her. You don’t fucking get it.” Bakugo pounded his fist against the table.

“Then make me understand, if you don’t think I know. I know you love her, I know she loves you. So she didn’t kill you all those times she could have. She didn’t  sit there and give the League any information. She would have fucked us over so many times. She could’ve, but she didn’t.” Midoriya spoke to Bakugo.

You didn’t need to hear anything more. You grabbed your suitcase and slipped through the window. You decided that you’d come clean to the Commission. You walked there as quickly as possible, you fought your nerves, and emotions the whole way.

When you arrived, you weren’t sure what to expect. You were rushed into the Chairman’s office. For the next few hours, you explained what you found out while working with the villains, what the villains’ plans were, and what their ultimate goal was. Every detail of your interactions were scrutinized. When you finished with your meeting the only thing that was left was to tell the truth about you and Bakugo.

“Thank you for your help with this mission. I know it was difficult to cross that line, and sometimes multiple times. It wears on one’s mind after some time. Your services are no longer needed.” The Chairman told you with a satisfied smile on his face.

“There is something else I need to disclose, Sir.” You began to say.

“If this is about you and Lord Murder Explosion being a couple, my advice is to continue, his ratings are going up since announcing your relationship. The public feels safer and also think he’s more approachable.” He continued.

“I am afraid to say this, but he and I are no longer together. After finding out I was working the League, he didn’t want anything to do with me.” You told him with a little more firmness that you meant to. “Also, I will not be able to return to hero work right away. I am currently pregnant.” You kept the Chairman’s eye.

“I see. Tomorrow morning go see the doctor. We will figure out other work for you in the meantime. Meanwhile, please rest for the next two weeks. We will take care of the other apartment.” He dismissed you, you felt some sort of weight lift off your shoulders, but your mind was filled with worry.

The next two weeks came and went in a blur, you’d gotten a due date for your baby, but were unsure if you even wanted to keep it. You slept unrestfully for those two weeks. Every day you woke up thinking about Bakugo. Wondering if the Chairman would be good on his word. You really didnt have much faith in him when it came to promises. Midoriya had texted you every so often just to check up. He was very sweet, and Ochacko was very lucky to have ended up with him. The Commission hadn’t contacted you about starting other work at the end of the two weeks, so your vacation ended up being extended another two weeks.

After a month of no contact from Bakugo, you decided that it was time to make up your mind about the baby. You were getting ready for your day when you were called into action to fight against the League. You were in a one on one fight with Toga. Everything inside you screamed that you’d rather die than let this little teenaged psycho touch a civilian.

“Oh, look who’s here to save the day! The traitor” Toga cackled at you, her maniacal laugh echoing off the surrounding buildings.

“I will take you down if it’s the last thing I do you fucking psycho.” You retorted as you lunged at her. The pace of her swings were too much for you. You were winded and breathless after a few minutes. There was nothing special about her movements, yours were sluggish from the human inside. She had pinned you against the wall with her hands around your throat. You were dangerously close to blacking out. Suddenly, your body slouched against the wall, as you felt yourself gasping for air right before nothingness enveloped you.

You awoke with the yellowish glare of fluorescent lights, and gasping for air. Your hands were grasping for anything you could hold on to. Your hand grabbed hold of a bicep. When your (eye color) met his red ones, time stood still for a moment. Everything you were fighting for in that moment seemed to have faded away.

He took his hand and placed it on top of your head. You couldn’t read the look on his face. He didn’t seem mad, or angry. He stood a placed a kiss on your forehead.

“You scared me.” He whispered into your hair as he brushed it back. The tears flowed freely from his eyes. “I was so scared I was going to lose you.” The tender moment broken by the doctor.

“Oh, good, Y/N, you’re awake. We need to discuss a few things. First, I need your consent that it is okay to speak about important health information in front of-” The doctor looked at Bakugo.

“Katsuki, Yes. I consent.” You said allowed.

“Alright. First, there were no serious injuries sustained with your fight. Your throat may be sore for a few days, and you may have a headache. There was no brain damage.” He told the both of you. Bakugo took your hand in his squeezing it gently.

“Secondly, about the pregnancy.” He started, Bakugo tightened his grip on your hand. A very worried look crossed his face “They’re safe, and doing well.”

“They?” You said with shock. The doctor nodded.

“Yes, They. That was the other part, I know you Ms. L/N, were told it was one. While doing tests, we did indeed find two. The last thing is that we’d like to keep you here for a few hours just for observation.” He finished.

“Yes, okay. No problem.” You agreed with the doctor.

“Okay, great. I will give you some time. The nurse will be in here in a while to check your vitals and check on you.” The doctor said and left, closing the door behind him.

Bakugo had been awfully quiet while the doctor had spoken. You were unsure of what he was thinking. Bakugo stood up and placed his hands in his pockets.

“Katsuki…” He kissed you chastely at first, then deepened the kiss. All of the emotions he’d been keeping in over the last month tumbled out. Bakugo decided against having his way with you in the hospital bed, and broke the kiss.

“Y/N…” He pulled a black box from his pocket and opened it, up a light pink dusted his cheeks. Inside was a gorgeous round cut diamond solitaire ring set in white gold. You gave him a quizzical look, not understanding.

“Are you going to answer me? Or am I just going to stand here like a dumbass?” He asked you. It took a second, but it clicked in your brain. He was asking you to marry him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close breathing in his scent. Tears were streaming down your face, as you nodded your answer to him.

“I am sorry, Y/N. I thought you were the villain. I thought you were the bad guy here. When the Chairman explained everything to me. I thought it couldn’t be possible that you’d actually like me. It was that nerd, Deku, who told me that you two had been texting. He kept me up to date, he told me what you had said. When I had found you passed out because that damn extra...I was really scared. I was terrified that you were going to die. I knew I was going to ask you to marry me, the next time I saw you. I am sorry it’s in the hospital. I’ll ask you properly, soon.”

He looked as if  he’d break in your hands, and you knew to an extent that it was true. He sat there holding you close afraid that if he did let you go, you’d disappear.

“Please come back, live with me. Let me take care of you and our children. I promise I will spend every day making it up to you, in every way possible. However, you’d like, for as long as it takes. The happiest I’ve ever been is when I spent time with you.” He said with a softness in his voice that you knew he meant what he was saying.

“I am sorry, Katsuki. I cannot do that.” You told him teasingly. His face dropped, “Not unless you say it.” He groaned at you.

“I love you, Y/N. Will you marry me?” Bakugo asked you followed by another passionate kiss. This moment couldn’t have been more perfect.