#i started this around 8pm yesterday.....and finally finished it at 1am.....

[guksuu]

happy 100 days since your debut, stray kids! ♡ / insp.

[killerskillercaptain]

Embarrassing moments w/Levi Ackerman BOOK III

You can read Book I and Book II if you hadn't yet.

pairing : Levi ackerman x reader

wc : 1 351

themes : Hange brought you and Levi some flowers form an expedition, you made tea with them, you regretted it.

warnings : nsfw, minors dni, angst, humor.

The ceremonial tea incident

"In that village we were in, those are flowers we gift newlyweds" explained Hange while showing you a bouquet of delicate small flowers with an ethereal violet color to them.

Hange and Moblit had just came back from an expedition in a village next to their HQ.

"I got them from an old lady's garden, she told me that traditionally they make tea with those flowers and give it to the newly married couple to drink, it's like a ceremonial tea or something. She gave me some of them and before i could ask her more questions she said she had to go." Hange paused for a second " i could swear i saw her giggle a little when she waled away, but never mind !"

"Why did you need those flowers for ?" you asked, genuinely curious.

"Oh, i didn't need those ones specifically, her garden had an incredible amount of specimens and i was searching for some aromatic herbs for my next experiences with titans, i found out that some of them were pretty repulsed by plants like basil and fennel, i wanted to see if there are plants they were attracted to instead"

"Oh, i see"

"Maybe they hate basil and fennel because in reality titans used to be humans and they cooked so much with those herbs that they got sick of them" said Moblit, joking.

"Don't be silly, titans can't be humans" said a low and stern voice entering the lab where all of you were gathered.

"Oh, captain Levi !" you said "Good evening !"

it was almost 7pm, and you hadn't seen him all day because you spent your entire day with Hange and Moblit in their lab.

"Here, i don't need them for my experiments, you can have them !" Hange handed you the small freshly picked bouquet "You should put them in the office you and Levi work in together, that place is awfully neat and depressing, just like Levi"

"Oi!"

"Oh, i know ! Why don't you prepare some tea with them ! if they give it to newlyweds it must be sweet and probably relaxing, Levi could use some of it !"

"Tea sounds good" said Levi.

****

8pm

Since you had to spend all your time today with Hange, there was an awful amount of work waiting for you. You sat at your usual desk, across from Levi's, a mountain of paper stacked on each one, a pitcher and two tea cups on a small tray next to you.

You had brewed some tea with those flowers, just like Hange suggested, and Levi always liked to drink tea when you stayed up late doing paper work. The infusion was a very crystalline and had beautiful color, and both of you had emptied half the pitcher by now, Hange was right, it was sweet. After finished your third cup, you got to work.

9pm

Even though the night was cold, you started feeling kind of warm, hot even. You opened up the two first buttons of your shirt and tried to go back to reading the document in front of you. You watched the words dance before your eyes without grasping their meaning, you tried hard to focus and for a good ten minutes, managed to complete the work at hand, but soon after, a sudden rush of heat caught you off guard again, it felt a lot like a fever, without being one, you were completely fine when you got here with the captain.

Speaking of the captain, you threw a curious glance at him. You were surprised to see his cravate completely loose over his neck, and some drops of sweat pearling on his forehead. So you weren't the only one feeling this strange heat, but where could it come from? how could you both feel so hot while the night was practically freezing. Levi didn't say anything, so you decided to ignore how your body was rising in temperature and how your cheeks were starting to burn.

10pm

You stopped doing your paperwork half an hour ago, you were incapable of focusing on anything, and the heat you felt coming from your body had traveled down to your must intimate parts.

What in the world is happening ?

Levi was repeatedly shifting behind his desk, opening his legs, closing them, then opening them again, a light touch of red rising up from his cheeks to his ears.

"Open the damn window !" he almost shouted

"It's open since we got here captain"

"Then why is it so damn hot in here" he said more to himself than to you.

He got up, paced around his desk, then around the office holding his document, but soon he headed again toward his office. When he turned around to sit in his seat across from you, you saw it.

Oh, no no no no no no.

You saw it, the noticeable bulge in his pants. Panicking you lowered your eyes to look at your desk again, trying to assess the situation, it can't be a coincidence, you were feeling hot too, and the heat you felt down there was arousal for sure, and there was Levi, having possibly an erection and all red. Both of you were completely fine when you entered the office you thought to yourself, you wiped your sweaty forehead with your hand almost knocking the pitcher out of the desk.

The pitcher ! The tea ! It's the only thing that's not normally part of your work routine.

It suddenly hit you. The tea, the flowers. Hange said they were traditionally given as a gift to newlyweds, as beverage, the woman who told her that was giggling when she handed them to Hange.

A gift to newlyweds...

This doesn't put people to sleep ! this is an aphrodisiac !

Your heart started to pound, you didn't know if it was from the realization or from the tea and you could swear Levi was able to hear the sound coming from your chest.

It was already 11pm when Levi got up again, the stack of paper hiding his bulge from you which you were grateful for, Levi seemed incredibly restless, he must have reached his limits, and you were too scared to ask if you could leave earlier.

"Get out !" he said furiously

"W-"

"You're dismissed ! that's it for tonight ! get out !"

You were glad you could run out of this suffocating situation but worried about Levi, did he understand what was happening ?

11:30pm

After you've thrown a hurried "Good night" to him, you rushed through the corridors and headed directly to your bedroom, you heard Levi's footsteps behind you, doing the same but in the opposite direction.

His bedroom isn't in that direction you thought, but you were feeling too aroused and dizzy to care, you needed to get to your bedroom. Finally there, you opened your bathroom, and for the first time since you were in these HQ, you were thankful the water was freezing, you took off your clothes and prepared to get rid of the now unbearable urge.

1am

The urged had passed, and the entire time you were in that cold bath, you wondered how Levi managed to get rid of his unsettling state.

*****

8am

You woke up the next morning in a good mood, and had completely gotten over yesterday's embarrassing event, walking in the hallway, heading for Hange's lab, you were going to tell her about those damn flowers when you heard Levi's shouting voice behind the lab's door.

"NEXT TIME YOU BRING ANOTHER DISGUSTING PLANT MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS !"

"B-But why ? what happened ?" Hange's voice was almost inaudible, and it quivered with fear.

You didn't hear Levi answer her question, the door was slammed open violently, almost hitting you in the process, and an incredibly angry Levi appeared, he looked at you before quickly staring blankly ahead and continued walking as if you didn't exist.

Hange soon appeared, trembling and puzzled, as soon as she saw you, she grabbed your hand.

"What happened ? did the tea flower make you sick ?"

"Y-you can say that"

[insomniumstella]

An angsty prompt of roommate!bucky? Like just imagine you’re two idiots who are mutual pinning after each other, but obviously y’all don’t know that you’re in love. I might need some angst there....🥺👉👈

bucky x reader

warnings: some adult themes, a bit of angst, can’t think of any others

word count: 3,279

Monday

Their usually empty apartment is scattered with people tonight, soft sounds of music and chatter in the background.

“You didn’t tell me Barnes’s new girlfriend would be here.” Wanda and y/n are preparing drinks in the kitchen, because who wants to only drink straight vodka or beer. Other duties, such as setting up food in the living room were left to the remaining Avengers, and y/n sincerely hopes they can handle it because last time Sam tried opening a bag of chips he spilled them everywhere.

“She’s not his girlfriend.” She raises an eyebrow, finishing each Mojito with a sprig of mint “Besides, he forgot to tell me.” I do not have feelings for Bucky Barnes, she thinks after noticing Wanda’s apologetic look.

“Of course you don’t” She replies sarcastically, almost singing ‘of course’ for emphasis. Surprisingly the living room looks neat and peaceful when they come back, people sitting on every free space they were able to find, floor including.

“Might have to get you and Barnes a bigger apartment because this shoebox isn’t cutting it.” y/n dismisses Tony’s comment because this apartment is often empty anyways due to frequent missions. Still, it’s cozy; when Bucky suggested they live together, because it’s totally normal for two friends to do so, even if they can get separate places, y/n took up the decorating. While it was not necessarily fancy, multiple fairy lights, and about a million photos made the place feel inviting and safe. Bucky would agree too, having spent hours on the worn out couches, whether it was drinking with the boys or reading, something he recently took up. Steve removes his hand from the couch’s arm rest and nods his head as if saying come sit here, which y/n does, cozying up half on the arm rest, half against Steve’s body. He’s nursing a beer, and smiles at her when she finally settles.

“Truth or drink?” Natasha suggests, taking a shot of vodka straight from the bottle, using her Mojito as a chaser. Y/n turns her head to look at Bucky, whose eyes are burning holes in the side of her head, snickering when she turns her gaze to his new girl and notices her disgusted expression. Yeah, it’ll take her a while to get used to us. Sam’s up first to ask questions. He snatches the bottle out of Natasha’s hands, passing it to Tony, and thinks for a minute before asking  “Have you ever been in an orgy?”

“That’s one way to start the game.” Tony laughs before taking a shot. He doesn’t have to answer for others to know. “My sweet Natasha, who here do you think is packing the most?”

Somehow she has managed to find and open a bottle of tequila; it’s been a rough week for her. Taking a shot “Steve.” She answers. “Steve, when was the last time you had sex?”

“Do all of these have to be sexual?” He’s blushing hard; talking about things of this nature is still weird and uncomfortable for him, but so’s drinking hard liquor. “Two days ago.” There’s oohs and ahh’s filling the room, and y/n takes notice of how Steve leans into her, almost as if to escape people’s eyes on him.

“C’mon guys, Steve’s right, at least let’s ease into the sexual questions. Hey Bucky, who do you think is the sexiest person here?” That’s a good way for him to include his new girl more, y/n thinks, but to her surprise, Bucky’s taking the bottle of vodka from Tony and taking a shot. The teasing stares from Wanda, y/n tries ignoring for the rest of the game.

Tuesday

“Who do you think is it?” Natasha is still wandering about last night when Bucky decided to take a shot instead of answering who’s the sexiest. For a spy, she’s surprisingly unaware. It’s just the girls at the apartment, because y/n invited them over after James announced he’s going a date. It worked out kind of perfectly; girls nights are very important, yet neither of them can remember when was the last time it happened. Thanking the delivery guy and coming back into the living room with a pizza, y/n turns to Natasha.

“I think the real question is what made you think Steve’s packing the most, when our team has a literal God?” A deep crimson colour paints Natasha’s cheeks. She’s hangover from last night, so it’s one of the rare times anyone ever sees her blushing. y/n knows she’s got her; two days ago, after a mission gone wrong, she decided to sleep at the compound, and guess who was sneaking out of Steve’s room in the middle of the night? As the sun sets, the conversations get more open, and wine bottles, one by one, disappear from the fridge. It’s about 1am when Bucky comes home to find a messy apartment and his girl sleeping on the couch; Natasha and Wanda somehow managed to drunkenly call a taxi back to the compound. Not my girl, he corrects himself after the thought accidentally crosses his mind, I have a different girl, he thinks.

“You’re home.” y/n slurs, reaching her arms out to hug him.

“I’m home.” He chuckles, leaning down to pick her up, bridal style.

“Did you have fun?”

“Not as much as you, apparently.” He answers, walking up to her bedroom door, opening it, and gently places her on the bed. “You’ll have a lot to clean up tomorrow.” This is not true. Bucky Barnes will clean it up himself, the way y/n does after he has one too many. “Goodnight sleeping beauty.” And with a kiss on her forehead she’s out. Not my girl.

Wednesday

Winding down after a long day is one of life’s most simple pleasures, and with Halloween right around the corner, a spooky movie marathon was bound to happen.

“Beetlejuice or Hocus Pocus?”

“Neither of these names mean something to me?” Bucky’s answer sounds more like a question. Of course he wouldn’t know the names of the two classics, yes, life really has been rough on him, y/n thinks. She’s sitting on the couch with a bag of popcorn, legs comfortably placed on the coffee table, when Bucky comes out of the kitchen and puts their drinks down. “Also, you drink too much.” He points out her wine obsession.

Leaning her head on his shoulder after he sits down “You talk too much.” She answers. It feels weird to sit so close when he’s seeing someone, but hey, this is Bucky, the guy, she’s been living with and crushing on for months, she might as well enjoy this while she can. Besides he’s acting casual about it. Not, he’s not casual about it. From the inside at least, because yes, Bucky looks completely calm, reaching down to her lap to grab some popcorn from time to time, but his heart is skipping beats a little too much for his liking.

Maybe next time Steve’s staring at her with those love-filled eyes, I should just tell them to get a room? Bucky considers, this is too hard and at least that way, I won’t see her as much. He’s so still she wonders if he fell asleep, but the turning of his head assures he didn’t. His lips form a smile and she smiles back. I wish Bucky liked me back, like how Steve likes Natasha, y/n thinks to herself, they’re so cute together.

“I don’t like this Beetlejuice guy or whatever he is.”

“I think he’s charming in a way.” y/n lifts her legs from the table and places them over Bucky’s, so she’s sideways and looks up at him.

“You’re charming in a way.”

“Oh sergeant, thank you.”

“Said no one, ever.” Y/n laughs and playfully hits him with one of the many decorative pillows they have placed on the couch.

“You love me, Bucky Barnes.”

Oh you have no idea. That he doesn’t say.

Thursday

8am

Knife, gun, extra ammo; yes, pretty much everything she’d need she has on her. 

“Don’t die out there, pretty lady.”

“Okay, Birdman, shut it.” y/n teases as they both walk up to where Bucky’s standing. “This mission is like a piece of cake, right Buck?” But he doesn’t answer, lost somewhere in his own thoughts, face painted in worry. “You alright?” She asks when Sam goes to check on Cap, placing her hand on his shoulder. “This is an easy task.”

“It’s not the mission I’m thinking about.” He shrugs, but there’s no time for her to answer, because Steve is already opening the quinjet door, shouting at them to prepare for jumping.

8pm

“You’ve been quiet all day. If there’s anything, no matter how small, you know you can talk to me.” They’ve been hiding in some random bushes, the apparently quick and easy mission turning into something no one expected.

“Do you like Steve?” Bucky’s face is completely serious, no teasing eyes, no toothy grin he usually has when talking about guys with her.

“Of course I like Steve.” Like a brother or a friend. “This is what’s been bothering you?” y/n laughs, because it’s funny, surely he must know she likes Steve, otherwise why would they spend so much time together.

Yes, that’s what’s been bothering me. “No, just something that I thought of right now.” He manages to smile, but it’s the fakest smile y/n has seen on him yet. “Did you ask him?”

“Yeah.” y/n scrambles to get her phone out of her suit pocket. Of course she texted Steve, asking if they can pack up and go home already as the suspect they were after has not shown up all day.

“Cool.” It’s cool she asked him if he liked her back, James thinks, it’s for the better, “What’d he say?”

Unlocking it, y/n opens up the text messages app “He said yes, we should head back to the jet.”

Looks like they might be going on a first date tonight, Bucky takes a deep breath, that’s good, right?

Friday

Whatever has been bothering Bucky all day yesterday, y/n’s glad is gone. He walks into the meeting holding two trays of coffee, passing them out to those attending.

“Good morning.” He smiles at her, after sitting down and turns his head to look at Steve, who’s standing at the end of the table, ready to start the meeting. His hair is messy and he looks peaceful, a little too peaceful, considering last night’s failed mission. y/n laughs.

“Something you can say to all of us?” She shakes her head and they both share a look which makes Steve’s cheeks turn pink.

“Nothing, Captain.” They both know y/n is mocking him and Natasha, after overhearing her scream the word over and over in the gym’s locker room; the screams clearly cause by pleasure of them going at it.

Bucky shifts in his seat uncomfortably and speaks up “I think we should start, as me and Sam don’t have all day, right Sam?” Whatever Sam’s caught in the middle of, he’s not a fan.

“Actually, I’m not that busy to-“ He’s cut off by James.

“Well, I have a date so start talking lover boy.” He says casually, his words filling the room with an awkward silence, before Steve goes over the plan for their next mission.

Saturday

“Are you sure you don’t mind if a couple of my old college friend come over today?”

Every free Saturday they like to go grocery shopping together. Bucky’s attitude is much better than it was in the meeting yesterday, which is good, except y/n keeps sourly wondering if the reason for that is the date he had.

He picks up a carton of eggs “I’m eggcited!” And places them in the cart. “Butter than ever.” Bucky says putting butter in there too. They’re at a different aisle when y/n notices him reaching for a jar of jelly.

“Don’t you dare-“

“Just don’t be jelly if they’ll give me more attention than they’ll give you.” He laughs.

“I should have never used a single pun in the grocery store around you. Hey, mango annoy someone else.” y/n laughs back, pointing at the fruit. She drags him away before he can grab the olives and say you know olive you.

There’s not much time left to set everything up when they get back, but as Bucky once called them, they’re a super duo. Y/n’s reaching for the wine glasses when the doorbell rings, and before she can make her way to the door, Bucky’s already answering. If he wasn’t into y/n so much, and if he didn’t have a girlfriend, he’d definitely go for her friends, he thinks and scolds himself right after.

“So you must the boyfriend y/n has been telling us so much about?” Wait, this is confusing.

“I’m n-“ Y/n quickly interrupts him.

“Yes! Guys, meet James, a man who is very much real, and very much my boyfriend, right?” Her hand wraps around his waist and she’s looking up at him with the act along or I’ll kill you kind of eyes. This is going to be fun.

“Yes ladies, please come in, it’s nice to meet you.” He gives them his signature smile, and as they pile into the living room, y/n pulls him aside to whisper “They can’t know I’m single.” Maybe if he wasn’t so excited about pretending to be her boyfriend, he would have heard the fact, y/n is not dating Steve.

The evening is hard to describe, because yes, the girls somewhat miss each other, however y/n can’t help, but notice the jabs they take at her for being an Avenger, and their wondering eyes at Bucky. He, on the other hand, is doing a great, too great, of a job at being her boyfriend. Anything she needs, he get up to get her, his arm tightly wrapped around her waist, before he’s pulling her onto his lap completely and to top it all, the language he’s been using is driving y/n crazy. She knows he’s enjoying this very much, but the phrases like would you like some more wine, darling? or is my baby comfortable on my lap? are affecting her more than she’d admit.

“So tell us, y/n, how did you score a man like this? I mean the constant fighting you’re doing can’t be good for that body. Does it look like a cutting board underneath the clothes?” Okay, maybe Natasha was right about them being bitches the first and the only time she met them.

“Believe me, everything is smooth and tight there.” Bucky winks, hands resting on top of her thighs; that evening he tries to say the most provocative words to keep her busy from noticing the thick bulge forming in his pants. She’s so busy at enjoying their jealous faces, it works.

Sunday

It was the most beautiful morning October in New York had to offer yet. Last night was a lot; maybe it’s time y/n reconsiders finding new friends, because to say that was exhausting is underestimating. It’s almost like y/n is on autopilot, letting her feet take her wherever they want. For better or worse, she ends up at Bucky’s favourite breakfast spot, noticing him and his girlfriend through the window. She’s mad, stuffing her things into her purse, and storming out of here, yet James is weirdly unbothered, slowly sipping his coffee; he waves his hand at her to join him when he notices y/n outside. A big plate of waffles is bound to make anyone’s morning better; they don’t talk while they eat. It’s only when the waitress refills both of their coffee mugs that y/n speaks up. “So what happened?”

“Told her this was never going to work out.”

“I’m sorry.” She’s really not. This is one of the best thing to happen all week, and besides Bucky doesn’t look sad, so it’s not bad to feel happy about it, right? He doesn’t answer her. When the waitress comes up with their check, he quickly snatches it, so y/n doesn’t have an opportunity to pay, and they both put on their jackets before leaving.

“Would you mind if we go to the Central Park for a bit? I know we have to get to the compound by 12pm, but-“

“Yes, why not, I’m sure Steve won’t get mad.” Bucky forces a smile, he won’t because you’re dating? He thinks. This is y/n he’s thinking about, so why is it so hard to just straight up ask if she’s dating Steve or not. Could it be the fact, he’s too scared to heard the words, I am? Bucky doesn’t recognise where they’re going; y/n moves through many parts of Central Park before arriving at an area he’s never seen or been in before. It’s very secluded, but how has he never been there before still blows his mind. “I love the view here.”

“Me too.” Bucky isn’t talking about the park.

“Look, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable last night, I should have told you, that they thought you were my boyfriend. I shouldn’t have been so scared to admit, that yes, I’m single, so what?” Wait what?

“What do you mean single?”

“Single, as in no boyfriend? Bucky, do you not know what single means?” y/n laughed. Oh, Bucky knew very well what that meant.

“So you’re not dating Steve?” He wanted to punch himself so hard at this very moment. What other parts of this has he missed, in fact, it totally wouldn’t of made sense for her to pretend Bucky was her boyfriend if she was dating Steve.

“No, I mean he is very attractive, but I don’t li-“ y/n turned her head to look at Bucky “why would you think I was dating Steve?” This was very confusing, however she couldn’t get excited just yet, so what that he thought she was dating Steve? It does not mean that’s the reason he never made a move on her; perhaps he didn’t even like her.

“The way you’re always touching, the looks you exchange. He’s practically undressing you with his eyes.”

“James, Steve is dating Natasha. Why else would she say she thought he was packing the most? Surely, she’s seen it.” They sat down on the only bench near by, y/n bringing her knee up to her chest out of nervousness. “Who do you think was the sexiest person in the room that night?” Bucky was avoiding her eyes.

“You.” Be a man James Barnes. “You’ve been the sexiest person in the room ever since we met.” He thought for a moment “That sounded better in my head, but you know what I mean.” Standing up, y/n pulls Bucky up with her; nerves always make her fidgety.

“Bucky, I like you.” He looks like he’s about to say something but y/n continues “I liked you being my fake boyfriend more than I should have.”

“To be honest, I was doing more than a fake boyfriend should have.” He chuckles. Taking his phone out of his jean pocket, Bucky dismisses Steve’s call, because whatever it is, can wait. “I like you too.” A comfortable silence falls between them, Bucky’s hands resting on y/n’s waist. In truth, the whole moment lasts about a couple seconds, but it feels like a lifetime to them both. Brushing the hair behind her ear, Bucky leans down and connects their lips together. It’s something worth waiting for; passionate, intense, and y/n cannot wait to run her hands through Bucky’s hair to bring him closer. “Perhaps next time they come visit, I’ll be your real boyfriend?” She does; lightly grabbing his hair she brings him closer.

“Perhaps you will.”

[chrisevansszn]

THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE 🔺️

Word Count 1.4k

This is a story about you and Chris being coworkers, but it quickly becomes more than just that.

Another busy Monday for work. You are a defense attorney, and you have a slew of meetings today. This one with the firm. You get to work, grab some coffee, and head to your office. You begin going through your work emails. You look down at you watch, FUCK, you are late to your 9AM meeting! You rush out of your office and down the hall. Your boss and coworkers have already gotten started.

 

You quietly find a seat.

Damn, you forgot your notepad and pen for notes. You casually look around for both, and then the guy next to your hands you a couple of pieces of papers and a pen. You’ve never seen him before.

 

“Thank you”, you mouth. He smiles back. His smile is absolutely perfect. Who is this guy??

 

Your boss continues and you write down what you think is important.

 

“Before we wrap up this meeting, I want to introduce you all to our newest team member, Chris Evans.”, he says.

 

"Chris Evans hmmmm"...you think to yourself.

 

Chris introduces himself and gives a spill. He’s a Bostonian, been a defense lawyer for 10 years, loves what he does blah blah blah….

 

You look down at his left hand. No ring. Y/N what are you doing?? You’re married, hello!

It can’t hurt to look right?

 

Chris finishes talking and everyone says hello. He looks directly at you.

 

“Hi, I’m Y/N”, you politely say and stick out your hand. “Chris”, he replies with that million-dollar smiles. He grabs your hand gently and begins to shake it…and shake it…and shake it. You got lost in the sauce, and finally pull away.

 

“Welcome to the team. I can’t wait to see you in action”, you say.

 

“I appreciate that so much”.  You both stand up….still making eye contact.

 

Y/N get out of here now!

 

You walk out of the conference room, and head back to your office to check your emails again. Your job has glass offices, but they do have blinds if you want privacy. You see Chris walks by. His office is diagonal from yours. You can see each other perfectly.

 

Your phone begins to ring. Its your husband Noah.

 

“Hi, honey”, you say so excitedly.

 

“HI, baby. How is working going?”, Noah asks.

 

“Good, just got out of a meeting and checking my emails. How’s the work trip?”.

 

“Pretty good, we just landed in Seattle, and are headed to the hotel room. I am exhausted.”

 

“I know you are baby. You are an absolute hero for what you are doing with everything that is going on”

 

Noah is a travel nurse who is assisting with Covid 19. He left our yesterday and will be back Saturday. Although, what Noah is doing is for the better good, all of the traveling is putting a little strain on your marriage.

 

“I appreciate your support my love. I’m going to get some sleep before my night shift. I will call you later. I love you.”

 

“I love you Noah.” You hang up.

 

You have a court hearing in one hour. You finish up and head out. Court went decent. Your client is being charged with first degree murder. This case is going to be touch. It’s a lot of evidence that needs to be combed through and it’s honestly not looking the best for your client.

 

You get a text from the group at work, everyone is going out for drinks to celebrate Chris’ first day at 8PM. Yes! You love to go out, drink, and be social. That’s the one plus about Noah working out of town and working night shifts. You can party hard!

 

You text back and say you will be attending. You head home and finish the rest of your workday there. You and Noah just purchased your first home together. It’s cute and quaint, new built. It’s perfect for the two of you.

 

After hours of going through evidence. You realized its almost 7PM, and you need to get dressed. This celebration is going to be a local bar so casual it is. You put on some leather pants, a striped top, and some black boots. You freshen up your make up and head out after calling your Uber.

 

Everyone is already there, and drinks are flowing. It’s about eight people total. You all mingle, take shots, laugh louds, and dance. As the night goes on, coworkers begin to head out. At around 11PM, Kevin left. It was just you and Chris now. You both moved from the car to a small table in the corner.

 

You begin to ask questions and get to know each other a little more, growing up, college, favor court cases they had to endure. Great conversation, and then it gets a little more personal.

 

“I see you are married”, Chris says nodding towards your ring finger.

 

“Yes, I am. My husband and I have been together for about 5 years now, but we are newlyweds”.

 

“He’s not worried about you being out so late?”

 

“Late? It’s not even midnight Chris”. You both laugh.

 

“What about you? No wife or girlfriend?”

“No not yet. It’s hard when you work constantly”. He takes a drink of his beer.

 

You giggle.

 

“Noah, my husband, is a traveling nurse currently. He just left for Seattle for the week working with Covid patients”. 

Now Y/N, did Chris really need to know ALLLLL of that?  

“That’s why I am really not concerned about the time”.

 

Chris smiles. “Good, lets shut this place downnn.” He looks at the waiter. “Can you drink us four shots of tequila?”   The waiter nods.

 

“Four shots? You’re my kind of drinking buddy!”

 

You and Chris drink well into the night and finally leave when the bar closes at 1AM. You both call separate Ubers.

 

“Y/N, may I have your number so that I can make sure you made it home safely?”, Chris asks.

 

“Of course, and thank you. You’ll need it for work anyway.”, you are absolute hammered. You and Chris exchange numbers, and your uber arrives. He helps you to the car because you are stumbling.

 

“Please text me when you make it inside your home Y/N”

 

“Ok, I will”. Chris closes the door.

 

The uber ride was quick, but it took you a minute to unlock the door because you were so drunk. You get inside and take your clothes off and throw them on the floor, then crawl into bed.

 

Your phone rings. You have to sit up to find it. Its on the fucking floor. You crawl out of bed and answer it.

 

“Hello”.

 

“Y/N, did you make it home safely?”

 

You recognize the voice, its Chris. “Oh yes, Chris. I did. I am sorry I forgot to text.”

 

“That’s ok. I just wanted to make sure. Um, Y/N.”

 

“Yes….”

 

“You accidently turned on the facetime”.

 

Holy shit. You look down to see Chris with this hand over his mouth. The camera isn’t even on your face. It’s on your boobs, LUCKILY you didn’t take off your bra.

 

“Oh shit!” You bring your camera up to your face. You immediately start laughing out loud.

 

“I am so sorry!”. Your vision finally focuses, and you can see Chris sitting on this bed with no shirt on. He has chest tattoos! You can see an eagle on his right side, and some words on his left side. That shit was so fucking sexy.

 

“It’s no big deal. Get some sleep. I will see you tomorrow at work. Goodnight”

 

“Goodnight.” You hang up but couldn’t quite fall back asleep just yet.

You are thinking about your night with Chris. The conversation, his smile, just him.

 

You slide your hands down your pants and begin touching yourself. You insert your fingers into your pussy. A small moan comes out….” Oh Chris”……you moan. You sit up and retrieve your toy from the nightstand and turn it on. Up and down your clit. You back begin to arch. All you can think of is Chris eating your pussy. You just know he’s good at it!

 

You orgasm and then realize how hard you were breathing. There is no way this stranger is making you feel like this!

LET ME KNOW IF YOU ENJOYED THIS ONE‼‼💜

[officiallyerika]

The F*&k Brexit Tour - Paris.

Oct 2nd

Up at 6am and out the door at 6:30 for my first day back teaching for ICMP in London. After meeting all my new students for the year and teaching a full day, I jump in my car and go straight to Panic Studios for a rehearsal in the evening. I meet Collette (drums) and Yue (guitar) there and we have good and full rehearsal, we pretty much get through all the songs. Having been on strict vocal rest for the weekend and early in the week due to sickness I was glad I was able to sing through all the songs gently and without pain, what a relief!!  Late night drive home and tucked up in bed by 1am.

Oct 3rd

I wake a little later today after yesterday’s long day and get to packing the van for the tour, everything but what I need for tonight’s rehearsal. I love a list this really helps me try to make sure I have everything I need… the only problem is… everything is in storage, as Mark and I are house building…so trying to find everything is another story…. Luckily the last 3 things on my list (extension cables, European adaptors and a blow up bed) miraculously appear. St Anthony is on my side! (there’s the irish in me!). Then off to ICMP to teach another class at 1pm and then off to another rehearsal in the evening at 5pm. We run through the set and any trickier songs and we are READY!!!! Check out the video below.

Oct 4th -  PARIS, Host: Noucky. HOLY FLAT.

Yue & Collette’s alarm goes off at 5am, mine admittedly a little later, as I wake I mumble “Oooh my EP is released today…. “ but no time to dwell or sleep in…We must finish packing the van with all our rehearsal gear and cases and 6:30 we 3 are off in my van into commuter land to get on the Eurotunnel. We arrive with 5 mins spare and go straight onto the train…. Phew! Made it!  All 3 of us already knackered, we close our eyes for what seems like 5 minutes and we have arrived in Calais. I enjoy driving through Europe, it’s the other side of the road for us brits, so I need to concentrate and as I go onto motorways and turn right into roads I have Yue and Collette be my eyes too! Once in Paris the madness begins, cobbled roundabouts on roundabouts, people on hired scooters careering round, it’s like a sophisticated Mad Max movie!! Having grown up & driven in London, I’m well up for the madness.

We arrive at Holy Flat of Noucky and we are welcomed with delicious tea, warm hugs and kindness. We have a little chat and then start to process of unpacking the van, loading in and setting up for tonight’s show. The apartment is on the 6thfloor with lovely views over Paris and sports park, the living room where the show is, is lined with a lovely balcony with overflowing foliage and greenery it’s the perfect way to start this tour!! Once set up we pop to a Monoprix get some scrummy food, get totally overcome with excitement of all the delicious food and veg there is and get too much (always). We picnic back at the house whilst guests are arriving.

8pm the show begins, we begin with Junkie on body percussion – the audience were wonderful they sang, they tapped, nodded, I saw someone scribbling on a note pad (later found out they were sketching us!), lovers kissed passionately. There was a lovely connection in the room as the sun went down over Paris, it was the perfect place to kickstart the European Tour and also to mark the day of the digital release of my EP, Bugeisha. We finished the set with Wonderful, but were persuaded to do another song, so we did an old song of mine from when I was known as iMMa. The song was I’m Just a Nobody reworked acoustically and wow was I glad to as Noucky and her friend did the most beautiful dance to it (click on hyper link to see). Noucky led as she moved intuitively to the music and watching her made me sing in a different way almost like there was a conversation through body and voice. It was so special, a real gift.

After the show we all drank Champagne to celebrate the release of Bugeisha EP, I chatted to the guests and some bought some merch, when I turned around to pack down, the lovely Yue and Collette had done all the hard work. Thank you ladies… At 12:15 Collette reminded me that the car park we were supposed to park in over night closed at that time… oh well… figure that out…. All the lovely guests of Noucky and Noucky herself, helped descend to the van with all our equipment as we chucked it all in and waved goodbye as we drove to my dear friend Geraldine’s home where we were to stay the night via the Tour Eiffel, which in true Parisienne style I plonked myself at the edge of the roundabout and took a photo of the girls!!.

We found the car park we were supposed to stay in… which was closed…. And finally we found a space for the van in a little road in Paris, anyone who knows Paris knows that trying to find a parking space for a car is like finding unicorn poo…let alone a long wheel based van! But alas, we found one and right around the corner…. These 3 tired girls having been awake for over 18 hours were relieved to find a big hug, beds made and pillows ready for our weary heads. 

Part 2 coming soon.....

[thedappleddragon]

Day 124 (Wednesday July 15)

I felt anxious a lot of the day, feeling like I was supposed to be doing something. I opened the drawer where I keep all my ds/3ds games and saw my Animal Crossing New Leaf cartridge. I had considered revisiting my town before, but was afraid of the consequences of being gone for 3 or 4 years. I pushed through and booted it up. A couple of villages had moved out, there were 3 I didn’t remember so I guess they were new, and it was Caroline’s birthday. I saw Tangy walking around and she’s my new favorite, I’m sorry Bree and Goose and Grizzly and Truffles (and Clay and Hazel but they don’t live there anymore). I sat on the ledge of the big plaza tree, and Tangy had moved in just a week or so before I picked up the game after years of inactivity. I spent about 3 hours just walking around and talking to people and checking out everything I hadn’t seen in forever. And despite having quite a few hours logged in that town, I made 3 new museum donations. It might be because after unlocking the island, I would only fish and hunt for bugs there instead of my town. Some time near sunset, I could hear the real life cicadas outside my window alongside the ones in-game, so I sat out on m front porch for a while and played until mosquitoes started attacking me. I called it a night around midnight in game and did my little in-game bedtime routine I missed so much. Every night when I quit playing, I would play a little music box of KK Moody, turn off the main light, turn on the nightlight at the end of my bed, “feed” my bird, and lie in bed until the music stopped and the shell clicked shut. Then I would save and quit, and when the “saving, do not press (the power button symbol)” screen came up I would tap the screen and the button. It was really nice to visit my old town again, and it was really cute when one villager (I think Truffles) said she missed me, and even if I was only coming back for one day, she was so happy to see me again. ;u; I tried to go to bed, but I accidentally stayed up all night and took a shower and washed my hair at like 8 am. I tried to play animal crossing, but then I got too sleepy, so I put on a YouTube video to go to sleep and didn’t wake up until almost 4 pm

Day 125 (Thursday July 16)

When I woke up again, I played animal crossing for a bit, checking on the hybrid flower breeding setup I expanded yesterday. I’m going to try and make blue roses and complete my encyclopedia/museum. I didn’t do as much as I did yesterday, but I did celebrate Frita’s birthday. I hung around the house until I got board/stir crazy at about 8pm and walked to dollar tree in hopes of finding art supplies. What I REALLY wanted was some toy or pillow I could salvage the faux fur off of to make some handpaws and try some tutorials I saw online, but instead I headed come with some assorted colorful sewing thread, two baby blankets, and a scented candle. For a moment I considered removing a segment from my huge 6ft stuffed Caterpillar I use as a pillow to use as fur, but instead looked up some free plush patterns online. I started making a couple koi fish that would make a heart pattern when lined up, but my fabric was wrinkly and I didn’t want the wrinkles showing up in the finished product. I asked my dad if I could use her iron, since I had never used it before. It’s actually really fun lol. So I ironed out all my fabric and worked for maybe 5-6 hours to finish 1 fish and have all the fins/eyes prepared for the second one. It’s funny, because when I finally finished, I thought about maybe doing a little scorpion hunting in ACNL, but only if it was before 1am. I look at the clocks and it’s almost four lmao.

Here’s the first one, peep my cluttered-ass room in the background.

[schoolofmom]

Last Day Flying Solo

Around 2pm Monday my husband was approved to telecommute! As if sensing my 3 weeks of parenting 4 kids solo were coming to a close, fate treated me to a “very special day.” I feel it is best described via timeline:

1am- My husband wakes up randomly and is able to book us a good grocery delivery day, the window between 6:30am and 1pm 2 weeks from now! It is very hard to get a spot so this is great news

3am- My husband wakes up again, feeds the baby, and commutes to work at his usual time

6:25- I wake up, brush teeth, make coffee, plan dinner etc.

7:45- First kid is up and all kids follow.  At least they slept in today! Start pumping the morning breastmilk

9am- Pump bottles begin to overflow and baby starts crying.  Change and feed him. 

9:30- Make kids’ breakfast with the few items not in 3-day-grocery quarantine (items were just delivered yesterday so have 2 days to go till all possible viruses on them have died)

10am- Kids want more bacon than 3 slices each, and bagels instead of fruit salad to go with it.  This idea comes from my in-laws house, which is the only place they usually get bacon.  The theme there is “eat as much as you can of only things that taste good to you.”  You may feel this is just grandparents spoiling grandchildren but this is actually the way my husband and his sisters grew up LOL

10:15- Go through recipes trying to figure out how much bacon to freeze in order to cook upcoming dinners

10:30- 4-year-old accidentally shatters Corelle bowl on kitchen floor.  Pieces make it as far as the basement stairs and somehow the bacon plate. Sweep then Swiffer floor.

11am- Finish pumping.  Make new Hymn playlist in attempt to bring calm. Worry that milk from earlier is now spoiled.

11:45- Set up backyard gates and check for dog poop, acutely aware that I am still wearing yesterday’s pants/underwear as well as a jacket with no buttons and no shirt underneath. Release kids out to play in backyard

12pm- Make desperate dash for elliptical by basement entrance.  Hymns stop working and I end up with Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know,” Lizzo’s “Truth Hurts” and Destiny’s Child’s “Survivor”

12:15- Start crying on elliptical

12:20- Kids report that they have nothing to do. They have pushed the hand-me-down Powerwheels I can’t stand out from under the deck. Kids would like me to start the engines and allow them to drive until someone hits a fence and has to go the the hospital during a pandemic (estimated time this would take to occur = 30 seconds).  I suggest they clean all leaves/dirt out of them first and give them a broom and wet dish towels.

12:30- Return to elliptical and end up crying in girls’ room

12:35- Kids say they are done cleaning the Powerwheels.  I retrieve rags/sponges/bucket from the shed and give them warm soapy water.  

12:40- Return to crying in girls’ room

12:45pm- 5-year-old says he has an emergency.  His 4-year-old sister has thrown his shoe over the fence

12:50- Discover that said fence is the one we share with our elderly neighbors, and that the shoe is 6 feet away on top of a mass of vines.  There is no way to ask them to get it during Coronavirus and so I use a lawnchair to hoist my self over the rusty chainlink fence, carefully navigate to the shoe, and return

1:15- Power through rest of elliptical workout.  It has taken over 1 hour to go 1 mile

1:45- Make lunch.  Kids with “previous plates” (food they preferred not to eat and so we saved) put up a good fight not eating them before getting more of what they want.  My 4-year-old puts granola from her leftover yogurt on her chili

2:20- Finally get something to eat today.  Wish for shower

2:35- My 7-year-old catches me standing in the kitchen gulping down apples and peanut butter

2:45- My 5-year-old refuses to eat his chili and is sobbing about not getting Pirate Booty cheese curls

2:50- Kids head down for quiet time downstairs

3pm- Feed baby then collapse in bed and pass out

3:47- My therapist texts me to say she is taking MY advice

5pm- Husband is home and I spew out the story of my day

5:15-6:30- Pump breastmilk while my husband cooks dinner

6:45- Attempt to teach conversation at dinner

7:15- 4-year-old’s bedtime, realize that we are still failing to read her any books

8pm- Older kids’ bedtime

8:15- Husband’s bedtime. Change and breastfeed baby

8:50- Get self ready for bed, Pump breastmilk

10pm- Change baby & feed nightime bottle

10:30- Collapse into bed

[ryuuichinaruhodo]

Work life limbo

I had gotten food poisoning the day before the exam for the apprenticeship, I was bedridden for over a week. That was frustrating as you could only apply for that next year. So what was I to do until then?

I had immersed myself into anime and games, attended comic con and got into manga. It wasn't until October when my dad invited me to work at my uncles restaurant as they were short staffed.

I worked there for a period of 3 months, earning £4/hr, below minimum wage. Being my first job, working 10hrs my feet were not used to the aching and tiredness and on my first day after I came back home I went straight to bed.

The prices on the menu were really cheap, 50p for a cup of tea for example, takeaway £4-5, buffet 6.30. The job itself wasn't that difficult, aside from the immense amount of chilli oil burning my hands. My ezcema flared up constantly when working with my hands. At times I would argue with my father, he was a different person when he worked. Easy to anger, stressed.

Other times I would argue with one specific customer who would get away with eating the whole buffet and getting a drink for only £2.

Working for my uncle, it's easy to see why he made millions: exploiting his employees by paying them almost nothing. He had owed my dad money for years.

End of that year the restaurant closed down, it didn't seem to be making any money. I mean the prices were really low and the customers always complained they were too high.

My next job after that was CeX, I stayed for about 4 months earning the minimum wage of 5.30. The job itself was alright, but there were management issues. At times I would have my lunch at 5pm. A full 8 hrs since I last ate and 2hrs before closing. They had employed too many young staff at one point and had cut my hours. I wasn't happy about the hours cut and the staff they hired made plenty of mistakes. One of them wasn't taught properly and gave away 2 expensive phones worth 2k.

After earning enough money to build a new pc for £1000, I left and decided to try look for an apprenticeship again.

I went to Lambeth college on the apprenticeship open day, I had the intention of looking for a digital marketing job or a construction one. In the end I went for a month coding course to see if I liked it or not.

This coding course was the wrong choice. We had to make an app from scratch, it was difficult and it still had a ton of bugs. It was unrealistic for us to make something perfect after just a month of training. But we managed and overall it was a success. However when the placements came, that's when I lost interest. I did 2 placements one at mylondonhome.

Originally there was supposed to be one other person doing the project with me, however he dropped out and I was left on my own to develop an app. So I did the best that I could, I made a prototype and thought that someone else would come in to build upon that. However they expected me to make full fledged app in just 2 weeks on my own. They only paid me minimum wage.

In the 2nd placement I did have a team to work with, but because we were all new to designing and making an app we struggled. Some of the issues we had was that we had to tether our phones to get internet to do our job. The supervisor incharge never provided us with internet and kept bouncing us between 2 locations. After about 2 weeks he told us it was shite, all that work we had put in shot down. What do you expect when you're not provided the support or the tools to do your job. The team gradually got smaller and smaller and went from 6 to just 3 people. I had enough of that stupidity and even though they were paying living wage it wasn't worth my time. I had to lead the team for some reason and in doing so felt like I was doing most of the work. All that work amounted to nothing in the end.

I took a break from working after those placements left a bad taste in my mouth. Everyone thinks I love coding, sure it's fun when you get into it but when you're first experience with something is terrible is hard to convince yourself to beat a dead horse and go back to it.

Next year my through my dad's connections I gotten a job in a high class Chinese restaurant. He said they would pay £10/hr. He was wrong it was minimum wage. I did part time - 6 days a week part time.

This job only lasted 5.5 weeks, I was treated like an outsider by the staff. They were horrible and picked on me. Whilst trying to learn how to do the job they just laughed at me for being slow. All I ever did in that restaurant was grab a cloth, wet it with vinegar and wipe plates. I asked one of the employees who worked over 2 years if he ever saw a raise. He never had gotten a raise. The manager there was the most useless person in the restaurant and made the wait staffs lives a nightmare. He couldn't do anything himself, couldn't use Excel, couldn't take orders, didn't know what the food looked like. So every 5 mins he would pick on someone to do something. It got old and annoying fast. I then started looking for another job. On my final day at the restaurant the staff started arguing with me saying I left work undone and that they helped me but that was a lie. They had to be forced by the manager when I complained for them to help me. My hours were done anyway, I was no longer part of it so they could not force me. The very fact that they lash out on my last day reaffirmed that I made the right choice to leave early.

The job I applied for seemed promising and I thought they would of accepted me for the role. But instead they opted for someone whose used to work there because they had experience. So I was left hanging .

As usual when a job has screwed me over I would take a short break. So that's what I did, I went back to playing games and watching anime.

Sometime in the summer my brother's friend was doing his own bubble tea business and was looking for a helper on the weekend. So as I usually do I thought why not. It was decent I would earn £50 for 7-8hrs work, around minimum wage. We went to a Thai festival in that year, travelled all the way to bath. My first time in bath the buildings looked like something out of a Victorian film. One of the issues with making such a sweet drink in the summer was the number of wasps that would attack you. There were issues with the job, like the menu being massive and that each drink had to be made in such a specific way, to the millimetre even. The owner also had issues with wanting everything to be perfect and that he could the job perfectly but others could not. After the summer had ended, there was no more business to be had so I was left with nothing to do for awhile.

A few months later in November and a random charity worker knocked on my door looking for people to donate to a good cause. Considering I had no job or income I wasn't able to give. However he told me if you don't have a job why dont you try this job? So that's what I did I tried yet again.

This job was a very difficult job, trying to get complete strangers to part with their money by reading off a script. I would have to knock over 150 doors each night. Being the middle or November the nights were very cold. 150 doors is alot of doors to knock but getting people to sign up to something was like a needle in a haystack. After just a short 2 days of training by reading off a script and given the procedure to get people to sign up, on my first day I had no idea what to expect, but I wasn't given all the equipment I needed to do the job. I was told it was my fault for not checking. How was I supposed to know what I needed? So I lashed out at them for their negligence. I tried for 2 weeks, I believe 99% of my training group left the job. The issue with this job is that you need a high level of fitness to knock 150 doors. We had one person who was overweight and they could not keep up. I could barely keep up myself having asthma. I had no choice but to quit after 2 weeks as that was the probation period.

I took an extended break until summer time came once again. I was ask to do the bubble tea again and I did. This time the owner had a van especially for bubble tea making. We had planned to do another event, this time about anime camping. So I went to help him out with this, even helping him receive a delivery at his house when he wasn't able to. The next day I went in the car of his friend and for about 6 hours we had a system in place that worked really well. Come 6pm we would pack up swiftly and head back. I was given £50 that day. The owner then asked me if I wanted to help him out tomorrow and so I did.

Like I said previously about the owner he had issues. When we had arrived at the venue he had managed to forget the straws! How do you forget that when you're making bubble tea? So at some point in the middle of the day he had to dip out and travel back to his house to grab more. I was left alone in charge for about an hour. I wasn't able to serve people without straws and was stuck waiting for him. After he came back he kept nitpicking everything, if a drink was slightly off he would tell me to make the whole drink from scratch, slowing the production. He said that he would finish up business by 6pm. He was still serving even at 9pm! Plus we had to pack up everything into the van after. That took a long time, we started packing at 8pm and didn't finish until 11pm. It had already been well over 12 hrs working and then he stuck around to chat to people when I was clearly tired and frustrated wanting to go home. It wouldn't be until 1am that I would get back home. After that he gave me £60 for the 'hardwork'. Wait so you're telling me yesterday I worked 6hrs and got £50, but today I worked 10+hrs and only got £10 more? What the fuck.

So I started to question him, I would like another £20. He for sure made alot of money in that event, there was no way he couldn't afford to pay me correctly after I had helped him receive supplies at his house, went out of my way to help him days in a row. Even Manning the station for an hour because of the straws. Guess what he made up a long list of excuses telling me he paid me less because I made mistakes and that he didn't even need my help. Saying that travelling in his car actually cut into my wages. Some fucking bullshit I tell you. I thought that being my brother's friend I could trust him to pay me a decent wage for my work. I started to go through his list of excuses and cut his lies to pieces, that's what my brother gave me when he saw it. Afterwards he called me up and said 'whats your problem?. That was the angriest I had ever gotten over the phone. I started going through his bullshit and he tried to say that it was justified to pay me less because I had to sit in his car. Well if I had known that I had to pay a journey fee to work for him I would have never helped in the first fucking place . Afterwards I told him he better send me the fucking money and when he did I was done with his sorry ass of a man. His girlfriend started attacking me over social media saying that it was £20 extra. No if fucking wasn't, it was the minimum wage that I had earned. It's my right to earn the legal wage.

After that ordeal I took a extended break once again until next year...

[remembermemorablememories]

Thursday, December 13, 2018

post #339

wholesome/fun last night with hackathon organizer frands

main points:

- finished and submitted data science report and all code/data

- worked on OOP screenshots for final report

- planned asia trip flights and figured out what i was gonna be doing the first half of march. super excited for japan!!

- eat super late lunch at GSU around 4pm / pick up package from amazon locker for white elephant

- chilled for a bit on youtube 

- white elephant with hackathon organizing team and anna’s tacqueria

- party at sid’s!!

today i:

- woke up at 11am. ate a banana and a chocolate chip cookie pepperidge farms that i got from warren late nite last night

- worked on tidying up my final report for data science. changed up some wordings and made sure everything was good. then submitted via email and notified on slack

- switched gears to working on OOP. eric put together a user manual but after adding our aluminum theme we needed to update the screenshots. so i was going through and making changes to those. still got a few more left to go

- around 2pm switched gears to doing asia trip planning cause dimitri wanted to book tix tonight. i figured out what i’d be doing in japan and i’m super pumped. i’m going to tokyo -> kyoto -> osaka and then taipei and then meeting up with dimitri in phuket. this is gonna be SOOOO cool. i planned out my first half of the trip. then circled back and updated the latter half of the trip with dimitri, getting price flight links, etc

- went to eat lunch at like 3:30pm at the GSU. i got charles river bread and co. another whole wheat wrap and simply green salad. i watched two more episodes of scrubs S1E22 and S1E23. i was trying to wait out the amazon locker thing cause the christmas gifts i ordered yesterday were also supposed to be delivered today. and i was originally going to go pickup the white elephant gift for later tonight. so i wanted to wait so that both of them were there before i went. but then after an hour of watching scrubs i was like... i might as well go

also it started snowing outside (very light snow) so i was like okay gotta go now

- walked/boarded over around 5pm, picked up the white elephant gift (phone power pack) and took the shuttle/boarded back home. 30 minutes after i got home (like at 6pm) i get a notification saying the christmas gifts were dropped off at the locker. ugh >.> bad planning on my part i should’ve just had it delivered to my apt

- watched a documentary on leffen 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-m5RnRySsEU

just kind of chilling for a bit. did one quick NY app review. also completed course eval for OOP

- went to hackathon organizer white elephant at 7pm! we were supposed to have anna’s delivered but it was gonna take a while... so we decided to play contact. we ended up playing contact until 8pm for a whole hour LOL. then sid ramsha and ibrahim showed up with the burritos. i’m not sure what happened but we were all really hungry and stormed the burritos. we ate and just chatted and hung out which was nice

then we started white elephant at 8:30pm. i had a pretty high number (26 out of 30) so i ended up stealing the cooled shots maker which was pretty sweet. there were other fun stuff like aol floppy disk framed, binoculars, toilet golf, gradient puzzle, socks, our custom logo on a shot glass, and some others. what a wholesome time :) mari pulled out a nerf gun from downstairs and we were messing around with it a lot. emmanuel seemed to have a lot of fun with it 

we took a group photo and then dispersed, getting ready to go to the afterparty at sid’s

- i went with ken, mari, noah and emmanuel. ken drove us to south to stop by mari’s place cause she needed to get changed. then we went to star market to pick up some mixers. we got OJ, ginger ale and raspberry juice. then we drove on ovah to sid’s

- when we got there around 10:30 they were watching the office. but then sid put on some music and the party got started

i hung out with jason and emmanuel for a bit, watching them play flip cup thing and then rage cage. then i made a mixed drink and took a shot of vodka with the shot glass from white elephant. ken also took one, charles took one, lucas took one, sarah took one. i chilled in the back talking with rooday for a bit and learned the roy purdy dance which was cool. i also talked to ken about his post graduation plans with his gf, mari about her first drinking experience, jason about living in NYC / jersey city. then there was some dance music so we danced for a bit to the cupid shuffle. mike and a few peeps came from another party and brought like another 10 people which was dope LOL. i was a bit drunk like just past buzzed after one shot and two mixed drinks. very lightweight

- ken noah emmanuel and i left around 1am. i went around saying good bye to everyone :( i said good bye to mike, lucas, sarah, rooday, charles, mari, nam. it was really sad. a lot of hugs and saying good byes :( 

i left and ken dropped me off first in south. i said good bye to him. i’ll see emmanuel and noah tomorrow for racquetball :p (something new i’m gonna try) 

- went back home and took a shower. tyrone was playing on my switch online with deepak but then deepak went to sleep so then tyrone was just playing regular online. after i took a shower i hopped in bed and bought my return ticket for beijing. then spent some time figuring out a more concrete timeline for japan (tokyo/kyoto/osaka) and booked a flight to tokyo for the end of february 

then played like 3 games with tyrone and then went to sleep at 3:15am

THE END!!

what a wholesome and fun night. i will miss everyone :’(

[failing-at-every-thing]

Meds update!: Me and my doc play a lot of email tag, so the time between my adderall running out and having a great new dosage filled was almost a week. I struggled to function on most days, I did not have any of the focus needed to use my planner or communicate well, and I was experiencing some withdrawal symptoms without my meds. I quit doing updates and didn’t reach out to talk to anyone since these things really made my depression take over hard. Sorry to all my friends/family I’ve ghosted on this week, I was not taking the sudden change back to my typical symptoms very well. Medication wise, I have only taken the new dosage on workdays so far, and with clear-cut tasks and structure, I really blossom on this dosage. Treatment hasn’t removed the wall in front of me, but it did give me a ladder and I am climbing it well! HOWEVER!!! Like I said, I did lose my footing this past week, and once I got my ladder back, I totally forgot to ACTUALLY CLIMB IT. I had my first dosage *ever* yesterday where I would be completely unsupervised/unscheduled for several hours immediately after taking ADHD meds. In my whole 25 years of life, I have NEVER been alone while they work their magic. I did not anticipate AT ALL what would happen when my brain is driving at 100mph, but there’s no road and no map. 🌻Story Time🌻 I made a loose schedule/list of tasks before Dan went to work. I only had the alarms on my phone and the list as my structure. This was my day. Expectation: When dan leaves at 3-4 ish after picking me up from work, remember to take meds. Reality: Dan goes in at 5, this has always been the case, I do not know why I would ever think otherwise. Lose track of time and take them at 5. Expectation: Make to do list after taking meds. Reality: This actually happened! Great start, but definitely not the best method for me in hindsight. Expectation: At 6pm, write a short email to a printing company about having some work checklists printed. Easy and short task to get momentum, high payoff. Reality: At 6pm, write the first draft of this email in ten-ish minutes. Be aware of my tendency to forget things, proofread it. Expectation: At 7pm, walk to the gas station for quarters to do laundry. And a snack. Reality: At 7pm, I realize the email is way too long, tedious, and rambling to subject any stranger to it. I can’t send it like this. Condense the info. When the alarm goes off to leave, I ignore it. Expectation: At 7:30, put laundry in. Reality: 7:30, I’m still reducing down my email, but realizing I should pull myself away. Ignore alarm because no quarters. Text a few people to make plans and check in on em, check my notifications, relax. I’ll finish the email by 8 probably. Expectation: 8pm, take a shower and eat. Reality: 8pm, back to the email! Ignore the alarm, I don’t even read what it’s for, I’ll get it done eventually. I should note that I love sitting on the balcony and have been here since 5. I am getting a lil chilly. Expectation: 9pm, watch some wholesome How It’s Made while wrapping birthday gifts. Reality: 9pm, almost done with condensing! Just a few more tweaks and it’s professional, courteous, and easy to read. Expectation: 10pm, fold laundry and continue relaxing. I’ve been working super hard this month and I deserve a peaceful night. Reality: 10pm, alarm goes off for laundry folding. I have no laundry to fold and the gas station is closed. Just finish editing the email, OK BUDDY Expectation: 11pm, make sure all scissors, knives, delicate things, meds, etc. are put away safely since Lydia will be sleeping over soon. Reality: 11pm, absolutely freezing and I go inside to use the lil girls room. So many things have been ignored at this point, so I just ignore this alarm too. Being overwhelmed makes me buckle down to get it sent out. Expectation: 11:30pm, sleepy routine! Cup of sleepy time, unisom possibly, and blankie time- the best time. No more alarms. Play an app and be asleep around 12. 😴 Reality: 11:30pm- still in bathroom. I did stand up but I haven’t moved past hand washing, even the door is still closed. Doing the ACTUAL last proofread, and finally satisfied. Send. Task #1 ✅ Expectation: 12am, be asleep. Reality: 12am, go over list. Prioritize birthday present wrapping to start somewhere easy. Expectation: 1am, be asleep. Reality: 1am, I have finally found most of the presents and can begin. I lose things a lot and everything had also arrived while I was unmediated. Expectation: 2am, be asleep. Reality: 2am, Dan is home. Stop wrapping and tell him about my day. Expectation: 3am, be asleep. Reality: 3am, everything is really basically wrapped but I love putting effort and love into wrapping. Write little cute and fun cards! Make Dan’s weird! Make my grandma’s funny! Make my cousin’s super cute! Put some effort into really cute decorations for the boxes to make their days *extra* special! Task #2 ✅ Expectation: 5am, be asleep. Reality: 5am, Dan’s playing a video game quietly while I clean up the paper and ribbon mess. He looks over and says “oh no, it’s like 5am” Expectation: 6am, have SIX hours of sleep in and be still sleeping. Reality: 6am, realize I forgot to eat all day, exhausted so I have sleep for dinner. Now, looking back, this was insane. None of the tasks were hard, time-consuming, or boring, it was just so simple to get lost when I wasn’t with anyone to take me away from it and I was using phone alerts as my only system. Today I’m looking into healthy adderall-friendly ADHD coping methods for structuring my time and tasks! I have seen so many great things happen through my structured and supervised areas of life, so I know once I find my ground in independently organized areas, I can avoid some of the less productive behavior patterns that really came out in full force last night. The sometimes inconvenient effects of adderall are like evil superpowers that can be transformed and channelled and used for good. I’m hoping that I can find a great method to apply soon that can help me direct and control the focus I have while alone and medicated, because it has absolutely had a positive impact on so many other areas of my life. For so many years, my only goal was just to get by and hopefully one day begin treatment for depression, anxiety, and ADHD. I am so happy that my goal now is to gain even more independence and fully utilize my functioning hours. If anyone has suggestions/ideas for me or resources you can direct me towards, they are so valuable and appreciated! Thanks also to everyone who is reaching out asking about how I’m doing and even just reading these! I was told by a few nameless people that these updates made them feel less alone or that they learned something new about treating mental illness, and that really gives me the warm fuzzies. I’ll keep it up and keep moving up! 🖤🖤