#i started this a while ago but I’m at least finishing it now

[mcrdvcks]

Call It What You Want

Summary: A single sneeze turns into something more, at least to your husband Logan.

Word Count: 1.9k+

Pairing: Logan Howlett x fem!reader

Notes: i'm feeling a bit sick and i remember i had written this a while ago so here it is :)

i actually have a few other ideas and short oneshots written in this universe so i might upload some more sporadically

(also thank you for 500 followers! really means a lot to me <3)

Warnings/tags: sickness (sneezing, stuffy nose), reader has powers (sonic screams), pet names (darlin', baby, sweetheart)

A simple sneeze. That’s how it started.

You and Logan were in your shared bedroom, both at your respective desks, grading papers in silence. The quiet was only interrupted by the occasional sound of paper rustling or the scratch of a pen. It was peaceful, really. Until you sneezed into your elbow, trying not to make a big deal of it.

Logan glanced over, raising an eyebrow but not saying anything at first. You grabbed a tissue and blew your nose, tossing it into the wastebasket nearby.

"That time of year again?" Logan asked, his deep voice cutting through the quiet.

"Maybe," you replied, rubbing your nose. "’m fine."

He let out a low chuckle, standing up and stretching his arms over his head. “Yeah, ‘cause you always say you’re fine, then next thing I know you’re curled up under six blankets, complainin’ about not bein’ able to breathe.” He walked over, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"I’m not always like that," you protested, looking up at him with a small smile.

"Sure, princess." Logan smirked, brushing a few strands of hair from your face. “But if you’re gettin’ sick, you should rest. You work too hard.”

"I don’t have time to be sick." You glanced at the pile of essays that still needed grading. “Besides, these students aren’t going to grade themselves.”

"Bet you I could convince Chuck to get a telepath to grade these for ya," Logan teased, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your head. “Now, go lay down.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the warmth spreading through your chest at his concern. "Logan, I’m fine. It’s just a sneeze."

"Uh-huh," he grumbled. “Just a sneeze, until it ain’t.”

"I’ll be fine," you insisted. "Besides, you're not the boss of me."

Logan smirked again, his voice dropping to that low, gruff tone that always made your stomach flip. "Ain’t I though?"

You shot him a playful glare, knowing exactly where this was going. "No, you’re not."

He tilted his head, eyes twinkling with amusement. "Alright, darlin’… but if you start feelin’ worse, you better let me take care of ya. You hear?"

You smiled, unable to help it. "Yeah, yeah. I’ll be fine, tough guy."

He leaned down, capturing your lips in a soft kiss before pulling back. "You better be. Ain’t in the mood to deal with a cranky version of you.”

You laughed, nudging him playfully. “Like you’re never cranky.”

“I’m lovable,” he grunted, moving back to his desk. "You, on the other hand…”

“I’m adorable,” you finished for him, a smirk tugging at your lips.

Logan chuckled, shaking his head. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetheart.”

You turned back to your papers, feeling the slightest tickle in your nose again. "Uh-oh."

"Uh-oh?" Logan repeated, eyeing you cautiously.

And then, you sneezed again—this time louder. The vibration from your powers caused a low hum in the room, the soundwaves vibrating through the air, making the picture frames on the wall tremble slightly.

Logan raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. "That didn’t sound like just a sneeze, baby."

You winced, looking around at the small vibrations that still lingered in the room. "Oops."

He sighed, walking back over to you. "Come on, Y/N, that’s your body tellin’ you to take a break." He bent down to your level, his face now inches from yours. "Or do I need to carry ya to bed?"

You bit your lip, trying to keep the smirk from your face. "You wouldn’t."

"Wanna test me?" Logan’s voice was low, full of challenge.

You tilted your head, pretending to think about it. "Well, when you put it that way…”

Without another word, Logan scooped you up from your chair, making you let out a surprised laugh. “Logan! Put me down!”

“Nope,” he said, carrying you toward the bed with ease. “You had your chance, sweetheart.”

You kicked your feet lightly in protest but didn’t really try to escape. Being wrapped up in his arms was hardly a punishment. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“Yup,” he agreed, laying you down gently on the bed and pulling the covers up over you. “Now, you’re gonna stay right here, and I’m gonna make sure you’re comfortable.”

You crossed your arms, but a smile was already spreading across your face. “You’re overreacting.”

“Am I?” Logan raised an eyebrow, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Remember the last time you got sick? You nearly took out half the mansion with your soundwaves ‘cause you were sneezin’ so much.”

You sighed, relenting. “Okay, maybe a little rest won’t hurt.”

Logan grinned, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Atta girl.”

You settled back into the pillows, the warmth of the blankets and Logan’s presence making you feel more relaxed. “Thanks, Logan,” you said softly.

He gave you a soft smile, brushing his thumb over your cheek. “Anytime, darlin’. Now get some rest before you blow up the whole room.”

---

After days of trying to convince Logan, and the others, that it was just allergies, Logan had enough. He had dragged you to Jean after you finished teaching your first class of the day, and after accidentally shattering your computer screen with your sneeze.

Jean was already prepared, a bottle of cough syrup on a nearby medical table. “See? Told you it was a cold,” she said, holding up the bottle like it was proof.

You groaned, slumping in the chair next to her. “It’s just a little cold, Jean. You all act like I’m on my deathbed.”

Logan crossed his arms, standing behind you. “That little cold shattered a computer screen, Y/N. If it wasn’t for your powers, maybe we’d take your word for it, but—” He gestured vaguely with his hand. “We’ve seen what happens.”

Jean smirked at Logan’s comment but quickly turned her attention back to you. “He’s right, you know. We’ve got to be careful with your powers. Your body’s trying to rest, and that includes your control.”

You shot Logan a half-hearted glare. “You dragged me here for this?”

“Yup,” he replied, entirely unbothered. “And now that you’re here, Jean’s gonna make sure you actually take care of yourself.”

Jean held out the bottle of syrup. “Bottoms up.”

You stared at it like it was some sort of punishment. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Logan let out a chuckle, moving to stand beside you, his hand resting on your shoulder. “Come on, princess, just take the damn syrup. The faster you do, the faster we get back to our room.”

With an exaggerated sigh, you took the bottle from Jean’s hand and downed the syrup. The taste made you wince, and you immediately regretted it. “Ugh, that’s awful.”

Jean patted you on the back, her smile widening. “It’ll help, though. Now, you’ll need rest, fluids, and minimal stress. I don’t want to see you teaching for a couple of days, at least.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but Logan cut you off before you could say anything. “You heard the doc, darlin’. No teaching, no grading. Just rest.”

You turned in your seat to look up at him, narrowing your eyes. “It’s just a cold. I’m not dyin’ or anything.”

Logan raised an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth tugging into a smirk. "Not dyin’, huh? Try tellin’ that to your computer screen."

You rolled your eyes, leaning back in the chair with a groan. "That was an accident, and you know it."

"Doesn’t matter," he shot back, folding his arms across his chest. “Still proves my point.”

Jean chuckled from where she stood, clearly enjoying the back-and-forth. “Logan’s right, Y/N. Your body’s using up energy to fight this cold, and with your powers, that means less control. It’s not just about you—it's about keeping everyone around you safe.”

You narrowed your eyes at Logan. “You’re really milking this, aren’t you?”

Logan didn’t even try to hide the grin on his face. “Oh yeah. And I’ll keep doin’ it ‘til you get your stubborn ass to bed.”

You huffed, crossing your arms. “I hate when you’re right.”

He chuckled, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your forehead. “Get used to it, sweetheart. Happens more often than you’d like.”

Jean smiled warmly at the two of you, shaking her head. “Okay, lovebirds. I’ll give you some privacy while Y/N gets some rest. Logan, make sure she takes it easy.”

Logan nodded as Jean left the room, then turned back to you with a smug look. “So, no more arguments, right?”

You glared at him, but it lacked any real heat. “Fine. But just so you know, when I’m better, I’m gonna remind you of this moment. Payback’s a bitch, Logan.”

He chuckled again, unphased. “I’ll take my chances, darlin’.” Then, without warning, he bent down and scooped you up in his arms again.

"Logan!" You yelped, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Making sure you actually rest," he replied, his voice casual as if carrying you around was the most normal thing in the world. “Figured this way, there’s no chance of you sneakin’ back to your desk.”

You tried to fight back a smile, though it was nearly impossible when you were cradled against him like this. “I wasn’t gonna sneak back.”

“Sure, princess,” he said, clearly not believing you for a second. “But just in case.”

He carried you back to your shared bedroom, gently setting you down on the bed and pulling the covers over you. He gave you a stern look, but there was warmth behind his eyes. "Stay."

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. “You act like I’m a dog.”

"Not a dog,” Logan corrected, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Just a stubborn wife who doesn’t know when to quit."

You reached up to swat at his arm playfully. “I’m not that bad.”

He caught your hand in his, bringing it to his lips and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. “You’re worse, but I still love ya.”

Your heart swelled at the soft look in his eyes, and for a moment, you forgot all about your cold. “I love you too,” you murmured.

Logan’s expression softened even further, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand. “Now rest, sweetheart. You need it.”

You sighed, snuggling deeper into the blankets. “Only because you asked so nicely.”

Logan chuckled, leaning down to kiss your forehead once more. “I’ll take it.”

He stood up, moving toward the door, but you called after him. “You’re not leaving, are you?”

He stopped, glancing over his shoulder with a smirk. “What, miss me already?”

You rolled your eyes, but your tone softened. “Maybe. Just a little.”

Logan’s smirk turned into a genuine smile as he made his way back to the bed. “Alright, darlin’. I’ll stay.”

He kicked off his boots and slid into bed next to you, pulling you into his arms. You rested your head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. For a moment, the cold, the shattered computer, and everything else melted away. All that mattered was the warmth of his embrace.

"You’re lucky I love you," you mumbled, already feeling yourself start to drift off.

Logan chuckled softly, his hand running through your hair. “Damn right, I am."

As sleep began to claim you, Logan’s steady presence beside you was the last thing you felt, a reminder that no matter how tough things got—or how stubborn you were—he’d always be there, ready to hold you close and make sure you were safe.

[cherubimcore]

pairing: alastor x reader

author's notes: sorry for the long wait 😭 college hates me and i started a new internship and i don't even have time to think about writing... but i finished another chapter, i don't know if it's good but i hope you like it, hopefully the next one is longer but i can't make any promises ;)

part 1

“what’s wrong?” charlie asked with a worried tone.

“nothing you have to concern your little head about it” alastor forced a smile, he knew none of them would believe him but he needed a couple hours alone to think about the letter “now… if there’s nothing more to be said, i will be going”

and before any of them could ask more questions alastor blended into the shadows and transported himself to his room in the hotel.

letting his smile drop a little he sat on his bed and stared at the letter in his hands.

why were they doing this to him?

sure, he’s not exactly the best person out there but he at least tried to be somewhat civil, between helping charlie with this excuse of a hotel and trying to not infringe on the terms of the deal he made long ago.

but this… this put everything he spent the last decades building in jeopardy.

if alastor could he would simply tear this letter apart and burn it, never thinking about those words again.

the demon stepped in front of his fireplace with the letter in hands ready to ignore and completely forget about it, but the tight grip on his hands didn’t let the letter fall in the flames.

he couldn’t.

after staring at the letter for what felt like hours, alastor finally set it aside. he could see the angels’ game as clear as day: they were setting him up to fail, counting on his nature to make it impossible for anyone, much less a human, to see him as anything more than a monster

and with that he was setting the hotel to fail spectacularly and that certainly wasn’t his deal with lilith all those years before.

that’s why she sent him the letter.

threatening everything he had accomplished with her help, either alastor likes to admit it or not.

but alastor was nothing if not stubborn, he wouldn’t let this stupid joke from heaven and lilith destroy everything for him, and, as much as he hates to admit, for charlie as well, and he wasn’t about to play the angels’ little game without a twist of his own.

after alastor’s initial attempts to charm you—mostly involving unsettling gifts, eerie glances, and his “radio smile” lingering far too long—he began to realize that his usual tactics weren't working. he’d appear in mirrors, whisper eerie compliments from dark corners, and once even serenaded you with a distorted, old-timey song that left you rattled. and yet, instead of getting closer, you were pulling away, more suspicious than ever.

seeing his frustration, the crew decided to intervene.

“look, al,” angel dust said one afternoon as he watched alastor pace around the lobby. “you can’t just be creepy and expect a girl to swoon. romance isn’t about lurking around like some horror movie villain.”

alastor frowned, his smile flickering. “romance isn’t exactly my expertise,” he admitted, crossing his arms. “but I was certain that she’d appreciate a little…mystique.”

“maybe tone down the ‘i’m watching you from the shadows’ vibe,” charlie suggested gently. “why don’t you just…be there for her? show up, help her out, maybe smile a little less, um…serial-killer-y?”

husk snorted, shaking his head. “yeah, or just act like a normal person for once. no haunting, no creeping.”

alastor grimaced, but, reluctantly, he took their advice. the next time he appeared, it was during the day, while you were organizing books on the shelf. he simply knocked on the door—a sharp, polite rap that startled you. when you turned, he was standing there with an unreadable expression, his hands behind his back.

“good afternoon,” he said, his voice smooth, though still holding that eerie undertone. “i thought perhaps I could assist you…if you’d allow.”

you looked at him with a puzzled expression, was he joking? after almost scaring you to death all those days and making you actually consider moving out of the very nice house you didn’t actually pay rent to now being polite as if he’s a sort of roomate of yours wanting to make peace after an argument?

you scoffed but still allowed him to help, at least he could make himself useful after everything.

“so…” you said after a while, still side-eyeing him, expecting your ghostly intruder to do something suspicious “what are you exactly?”

alastor stopped on his tracks, still with a book on his hands halfway through to be put on the shelf.

“well, me dear” you noticed the static on voice had toned down significantly after your first encounters “i am a demon”

“a demon, huh” you squinted, why the hell didn’t your grandmother tell you she had a freaking demon living in her house? “do you have a name, demon?”

alastor’s smile faltered a little, back in hell he would never let anyone talk to him like this, but here he was swallowing the harsh words he wanted to say at the cost of his life... or even better not-life.

“no name?” you insisted, making him wake up from his daydream.

“the name’s alastor” the deer-man turned towards you, the pile of books on his hand gone and the room feeling less like a mess “and what is your name?”

“you are haunting me and don't even know my name?” you crossed your arms on your chest, laughing at the idea.

alastor opened his mouth to send a snarky remark in your direction but you were faster.

“my name is (y/n)... (y/n) (y/l/n)”

after you introduced yourself, alastor’s expression flickered briefly, he had heard your name before he was sure he had but why couldn’t he place it from where? it’s not usual for alastor to forget things like this, he made a mental note to talk to charlie about it, maybe she would know.

“well, (y/n), i must say,” alastor began “it’s a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance properly.” he extended a hand in an oddly formal gesture, as if you were meeting at a tea party rather than dealing with an uninvited demon in your grandmother’s home.

despite yourself, you almost felt a pang of amusement at his attempt at chivalry, and with a smirk, you took his hand. his touch was cool, yet strangely grounding. but the moment you released his hand, that unnerving cheshire grin of his was back.

“now that we’re formally introduced,” he said, leaning in with an amused gleam in his eye, “perhaps you’ll stop looking at me like a poltergeist?”

“maybe if you stop acting like one,” you countered, rolling your eyes but finding yourself oddly charmed by his persistence.

taglist: @vxllys

[bootyful-seventeen]

Gotta love how I choose to start watching delicious in dungeon like 2 days before that stupid Netflix travel code booted my ass off

[parasolids]

i am having a genuine core memory type of bad day today like serious SERIOUS things are going down and i missed a flight because genuine life changing events are happening and got put on standby for another which got delayed multiple times til i would’ve missed my connecting flight home and anyways it was overbooked so i didn’t make it on, and then now five hours after they left me at the airport im finally heading home and i was like “well at least i can eat the fries i bought that i didn’t get to eat yesterday” but my useless cousin who has not only been completely useless through this weeks long ordeal but has also been making things worse stepped in and ate the whole giant box of fries cause he “thought we were leaving” even though my mom clearly left half her stuff behind at the house and told him we did not make our flight so she was going to stay in town and try and get me home and also this whole situation (except for the fries) is straight up my fault cause i didn’t wanna get out of bed for 20 minutes when we woke up and like normally this would be fine especially since i went to bed at 2 am packing suitcases and then had to wake up at 7 and also slept super poorly anyways but i still have no self discipline and everything has gone wrong because of that

[blauequuleus]

Randomly remembering a memory that you’ve forgotten and 100% did not want it back but also explains so many things sucks but at least you have more context suddenly as to why you’re like that.

[niennanir]

Listen to your elders

So last week I posted abut the importance of downloading your fic. And then three days later AO3 went down for 24 hours. No one was more weirded out by this than I was. But while y’all were acting like the library at Alexandria was on fire I was reading my download fic and editing chapter eight of Buck, Rogers, and the 21st Century. And also thinking about what I could do to be helpful when the crisis was actually over.

So first off, I’m going to repeat that if you’re going to bookmark a fic, you really need to also download the fic and back it up in a safe place. I just do it automatically now and it’s a good habit to get into.

But let’s talk about some other scenarios. Last October I lost power for over a week after hurricane Ian. Apart from not having internet or A/C I did find plenty to do, I collect books so I had plenty to read, but maybe, unlike me, your favorite comfort reads aren’t sitting on a bookshelf. So let’s do something about that, shall we?

In olden times many long years ago around 1995 we printed off a lot of fic. It was mostly SOP to print a fic you planned to reread and stick it in a three ring binder. And that’s totally valid today too, but you can also make a very nice paperback with a minimum amount of skill and materials.

Let’s start with the download; Go to Ao3 and select your fic, we’ll be working with one of mine. This method works best with one shots, long fic tends to need a more complicated approach. Get yourself an HTML download

Open up the HTML download and select all then copy paste into any word processor. Set the page to landscape and two columns, then change the font to something you find easy to read, this is your book, no judgement. This is all you have to do for layout but I like to play a little bit. I move all the meta, summary, notes to the end and pick out a fun font for the title: 

No time like the present to do a quick proofread. Congratulations, you’ve just created your first typeset. On to the fun part.

Now you’re going to need some materials:  8.5x11in paper ruler one sheet of 12x12 medium card stock (60-80lb) scissors pencil pen or fine tip marker sheet of wax paper white glue two binder clips 2 heavy books or 1 brick butter knife

You’ll also need a printer, if you’re in the US there is almost a 100% chance your local library has a printer you can use if you don’t have your own. None of these materials are expensive and you can literally use cheap copy paper and Elmers glue.

Print your text block, one page per side. Fold the first page in half so that the blank side is inside and the printed side out:

use the butter knife to crease the edge. Repeat on all the sheets. When you’ve finished, stack them up with the raw edge on the left and the folded edge on the right. I used standard copy paper, because you’re only printing on one side there’s no bleed to worry about. Take the text block and line everything up. Use the binder clips to hold the raw edge in place.

Wrap the text block in the wax paper so that the raw edge and binder clips are facing out. I’m going to use my home built book press but you don’t need one, a brick or a couple of books or anything else heavy will work fine.

Once the text block is anchored down, take off he binder clips and get out the glue.

You can use a brush but you don’t need one, smear some glue on that raw edge.

Go make a margarita, watch The Mandalorian, call your mother. Don’t come back for at least an hour

In an hour smear some more glue on there and shift your brick forward so that the whole book is covered. This keeps the paper from warping. While glue part 2 is drying we’ll do the cover. Get out your 12x12 cardstock

Mark the cardstock off at 8.5 inches and cut it. Measure in 5.5 inches from the left and put in a score line with the butter knife (the back edge not the sharp edge)

Carefully fold the score line, this is your front cover. You have some options for the cover title, you can use a cutting machine like a cricut if you have one, you can print out a title on the computer and use carbon paper to transfer the text to the cardstock. I was in a mood so I just freehanded that beoch. Pencil first then in pen.

Take your text block out from under your brick. Line it up against the score mark and mark the second score on the other side of the spine

Fold the score and glue the textblock into the cover at the spine. Once the glue dries up mark the back cover with the pencil and then trim the back cover to fit with your scissors.

Voila:

I’m going to put this baby on the shelf next to the Silmarillion.

The whole process, not counting drying time, took less than an hour.

If you want to make a book of a longer fic, I recommend Renegade Publishing, they have a ton of resources for fan-binders. 

[wandaslittlebird]

That’s What Mama’s Do

Stepmom!Wanda x Reader

An early Christmas gift from Wanda encourages you to indulge your curiosities, and Wanda learns she can be a bit rougher with you than she originally thought.

CW: Stepmother/Stepdaughter, guilt, sexual exploration, flashbacks, anal (R receiving), spitting, strap ons (R receiving), spanking, inexperienced reader, mentions of videos taken during sex, dirty talk

Word Count: ~4.7k

A/N: It’s back and I’m so excited! I’ve extended this series to be at least 6 parts now, so get pumped everyone. I just kept having more and more ideas.

A/N: So definitely not 48 hours but like kinda close?? I was struggling with this part and I still think it might have worked better as a drabble, but I think it works anyway. This part isn’t nearly as Freudian, but there’s more of that to come in future parts! I hope you all still enjoy!

Thank you @marvelwomenarehot0 for reading this like 5 times and reassuring me I’m FINE

Part 3 of Her Special Girl

The days were filled with peppermint hot chocolate, soft blankets, Christmas movies by the fireplace, and lots and lots of cuddles. You and Wanda were practically velcroed to one another, completely inseparable. The two of you preferred to stay mostly at the house together, seeing as you couldn’t be nearly as affectionate when there were other people around in public.

What had started as an unpleasant fluke in your Christmas break, had turned out to be the best Christmas present you could ever ask for.

One this particular afternoon, you and Wanda were dancing together to Christmas music in the living room. She had you pulled close to her chest, gently swaying you back and forth to the jovial holiday music. But louder than both the music and her heartbeat, one thought came blaring through your mind.

How could you ever leave this? How could you leave her, alone? How could you ever be so selfish?

You leaned back so you could see her face. “Mama?” You interjected. Your eyes searched her’s, looking for a way to ease the guilt in your heart.

“Yes, little love?” She smiled down at you with a heart full of love and admiration. If she was holding resentment against you for leaving, she was doing a very good job of hiding it.

You swallowed nervously. “Could I give you one of your Christmas presents?” You asked. You hoped experiencing her joy upon receiving your gift would quell the aching guilt. “I have more to give you on Christmas. I just wanted to give you a special one while it’s still just the two of us.”

Her smile widened. “Of course, sweet girl. How about we do a special little gift exchange with just us. You know how hectic it gets on Christmas Day.” She bent forward and whispered into your ear. “Plus, I have a present for you that no one else is allowed to see.”

Your heartbeat quickened. She chuckled as she watched a blush rise to your cheeks. She smirked, drawing a medium sized box out from behind the tree. You followed suit, picking out a small box placed carefully on top of the pile of presents. You’d taken extra special care to wrap it nicely for her. You’d been excited about giving her this gift for a while now.

“You first,” you insisted, setting her gift down on the couch after she handed it to you.

You handed her the box, chewing your lip nervously. She unwrapped it meticulously, slowly pulling away the tape without ripping the paper.

Inside was a rectangular jewelry box, off white with a golden W.M. pressed into the center. She opened the lid and gasped as she revealed a gold chain necklace with three stones pressed into the center. The biggest one, in the middle was your birthstone, and on either size shone two aquamarines, the twins’ birthstone.

“Honey this is beautiful,” she said, pulling the necklace from the box. “But this must’ve cost you a fortune.”

You shook your head. “Not a fortune. I promise it wasn’t exorbitant. The gold was a gift from dad from a couple years ago, but…”

“You only wear silver,” Wanda finished for you. She chuckled at the general cluelessness of her husband, thinking he could just buy the most expensive thing on the shelf and you’d love it.

You nodded, smiling a little at the thought that Wanda remembered such a detail. You gently took the necklace from Wanda’s hands, clipping it around the back of her neck while she held up her hair.

“It’s perfect, darling,” she said, putting her hand affectionately over the stones. “Thank you, so much.” It sat perfectly on her neck, level with her collarbones. It looked beautiful on her.

You picked up your own present from where you’d set it on the couch. It was a bigger box than the one you’d given her, but it was light. You didn’t take the same care as she did with the wrapping paper, simply picking a corner and tearing off the paper. You unwrapped and opened the box to reveal a harness. It was very similar to the one you already had, except, instead of one O-ring at the base, there were two.

You tilted your head in confusion, examining the object. Wanda watched you nervously, slightly afraid the gift was unwanted.

She chewed the inside of her cheek. “Do you know what it is?”

“It’s a harness,” you answered. “But it has two rings for two…” the realization dawned on you as you spoke the words allowed. You stood in shock for a moment.

Wanda’s heart sank, thinking she’d gone too far. “It… it’s okay if you don’t wanna use it. There’s no pressure to try anything, of course. I just thought… you used to really enjoy…” she rambled.

You cut her off, still too caught up in your own thoughts to be paying attention to her nervous rambling. “Can we use it now?” You blurted out, excitedly.

She smiled. “Of course, little love. I thought you might like it. I remember you being rather fond of… playing like this.”

—————

You were standing in the doorframe of her home office, anxiously playing with your own fingers.

Wanda had been furiously typing away at her desk. The sound of keys clacking filled the silent room. Her face was focused, emotionlessly concentrated on the task in front of her.

You stood there awkwardly, trying to build up the courage to ask her your question. You certainly didn’t want to interrupt. You didn’t even like to interrupt her work when you weren’t about to ask embarrassing questions.

She was never upset with you, for interrupting her work. “Nothing that comes across my desk is more important to me than even your silliest queries,” she had told you. “Anytime I get to be talking to you, my work day has improved tenfold.”

Still, you stood in the doorway a little longer, hoping she would manage to notice you first.

After a few grueling minutes of going unnoticed, you finally decided to speak up.

“Mama?” You asked quietly.

Her face of pure concentration broke out into a wide smile. “Yes, my little love?” She responded, beckoning you into the room.

You exhaled in relief. She wasn’t upset with you for interrupting, at least. Now it was just a matter of trying to ask the question that brought you here in the first place. “I-I have a question,” you announced anxiously, cautiously approaching her desk.

“Ask away,” she instructed, leaning back in her car and swiveling it to face you. You had her full attention.

You looked down at the hardwood floor, unable to meet her gaze. Maybe this would actually be easier if she was still focused on work and you were simply in the background. “I… it’s embarrassing.”

Her face tilted, morphing into one of soft sympathy. “It’s okay, sweetheart. There’s no need to be embarrassed. It’s just you and mama here. You can tell me anything.” She reached her arms out, beckoning you closer so she could gently pull you into her lap. She sat you down and wrapped her arms around your waist, kissing you on the temple.

If she were anyone else, you wouldn't dream of asking her what you were about to ask. You lived in a world where questions, especially ones that may be considered taboo, were discouraged. Your curiosities had always been diminished and shut down, even since you were a child. And yet, Wanda was different. “You’re still growing up and learning about the world,” she’d once said. “It’s an honor to get to teach you about all the things you want to know. That’s what mama’s do, after all.”

You steeled yourself. “I… um… do you know how sometimes when we… play together you put toys inside of me and it feels really good?” You asked, trying to frame your question.

“Mhm,” she hummed affirmatively, trying to hide her growing excitement. She loved how flustered and embarrassed you got when you asked her questions about sex. It was almost as arousing as the “hands on” learning experiences themselves.

“I was wondering if… maybe you’d ever had toys in… the other hole,” you asked, looking down at your lap.

“Mmm,” she hummed again. She almost couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Were you really asking her what she thought you were asking her? God, you were more perfect that’s she could’ve imagined.

She kept calm, trying to contain her excitement. “I have. Mama doesn’t like to have things in her ass so much, but,” Her tone dropped lower and more sultry. She leaned over so close you could feel her breath on your ear. “I would love nothing more than if you’d let me play with yours.”

“R-really?” You stuttered. “You don’t think it’s… gross?”

She chuckled and shook her head. “No, sweetheart,” she assured. “It’s just another part of your body, little love. I don’t think any part of you is gross.”

“O-okay,” you said, leaning your head on her shoulder.

She pulled you tighter into her side, squeezing you in her arms and kissing your head repeatedly. “I love you so much,” she praised. “I’m so proud of you for being such a brave girl, and asking mama all your curious little questions about your body.”

“I love you too, mama,” you responded. You curled up in her lap, burying your red face in her neck.

“How about I forward all my calls to Natasha for this afternoon, and mama can show you all her toys and we can pick out some for you to experiment with, huh?” She whispered into your ear, voiced laced with excitement and seduction.

Your eyes went wide, and you nodded. It wasn’t the first time Wanda had dropped everything to fuck you, but you were shocked that seemed to be equally as excited about this as you were.

She led you to her closet, letting you peruse her collection. For someone who didn’t like to use them, she had a lot of butt plugs. She explained in depth their uses, the sensations of the different shapes and materials, and helped you make an educated choice of which one you’d like best. In the end, you both decided to start with a small metal plug, as well as a smallish strap. When you asked if she’d be pegging you with it, she chuckled.

“I don’t think you’re ready for that quite yet, little love,” she explained. “We’ll just use the strap like normal, but you’ll have the plug in this time. Does that sound good?”

You nodded. You were a little confused as to why she chose such a small strap if it wasn’t going in your ass anyway, but you trusted her judgment.

“One more thing,” she said, grabbing your favorite toy, the wand, before turning off the lights and leaving the closet. As always she took you to your own room rather than leading you back to her own. You both preferred to keep the sex out of the bed that her and your father shared.

She had you lean over the edge of your bed while she plugged the wand into the outlet. She handed it to you. “Alright love, I want you to make yourself feel good, okay? Can you do that for mama? Can you touch yourself while mama plays with your ass?”

“Mhm,” you hummed affirmatively, taking the wand between your legs and turning it on. You immediately shivered at the sensation.

She ran her nails softly up your back. “That’s it, good girl. Now just relax for mama.”

Her fingers moved down to circle your exposed asshole, watching the muscle tense in anticipation. You jumped at the unprecedented feeling.

“Shshsh,” she cooed. “Relax baby. You’re okay. Mama’s gonna take care of you. I’m just going to put a little lube on you, okay? It’s gonna be a little cold.”

You shivered again as you felt the cool liquid run down your untouched ass. She pressed her finger against your hole, gathering the liquid there before slowly starting to push into you. To her surprise, her first finger slid in rather easily.

You groaned at the sensation, muffled by the mattress. “Are you sure you’ve never had anything in here?” Wanda asked, suspicious but not judgmental. “It’s okay if you have, baby. You can tell mama. You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

You whined into the mattress. “I-I… in the shower sometimes, I… explore a little bit.”

Wanda smiled, chuckling affectionately as she rubbed your back, slowly moving her finger in and out of your tight hole. “That’s okay, honey. You’re always allowed to explore your own body. Do you just play with your fingers? How many have you had?”

You nodded. “Just my fingers. And only ever one. I-I tried to do two, but… I couldn’t.”

She nodded, circling her finger around inside of you to get you comfortable. “Mama’s gonna try to add another finger now. Is that okay?”

You nodded. “Is… is it gonna hurt?”

She shook her head. “No baby, it shouldn’t hurt. If it hurts just tell mama and we’ll stop, okay?”

You nodded. “Okay.”

“Good girl. Now, just try your best to relax. Take a few deep breaths.” You felt a second finger at your entrance, slowly pushing past your muscles. You squirmed, at the uncomfortable sensation, but Wanda’s hand on your lower back kept you still.

“Good girl,” she praised as her two fingers fully pushed into you. “That’s a big stretch isn’t it?”

You whined. It didn’t hurt, per se, but there was an intense, unfamiliar pressure. You turned up the setting on the vibrator between your legs, keeping the discomfort at bay.

She spread her fingers out inside of you, stretching the muscles further. You moaned, the discomfort morphing into something more pleasant. The pleasure, oddly, didn’t override the discomfort, but rather existed beside it. “Mama…” you moaned, starting to slowly buck your hips back into her hand. “Feels… funny.”

“I bet it does feel funny, doesn’t it?” She said. “Do you like it? You wanna switch over to mama’s plug?” Typically, she would’ve insisted on taking things a bit slower, but, likely due to your own ‘self-exploration’, you were handling it a lot better than she’d expected.

You nodded. “Yes please.”

She slowly pulled her fingers out, watching your muscles tighten back up and close. She fantasized, for a moment, about opening you back up so she could spit inside of you, watching your muscles close as little bits of her saliva leaked out. But she’d save that thought for later. You were far from ready for that.

She took the metal plug and poured a bit more lube onto the end. The plug was a bit bigger than both of her fingers, but not terribly so. She pushed the cool metal against your asshole.

You jumped and whined at the sensation. She shushed you, putting a firm hand on your lower back to keep you in place. “Just relax honey, just like before. Keep playing with yourself.”

You did as instructed, taking a deep breath and focusing on the sensation in your clit. On your exhale, she started to push the plug in. She carefully pushed through the resistance forcing the plug into place.

“Mama!” You cried out. A range of sensation shot through your body all at once. Pain, pleasure, discomfort, pressure all came to a head in a sudden orgasm you hadn’t expected.

Wanda eyes went wide, seemingly taken as off guard as you were. She smiled and rubbed your back affectionately. “Aww,” she cooed, “did my sweet girl just cum just from mama’s plug in her ass. It’s okay, baby. You’re doing so good.”

“I’m sorry, mama,” you apologized. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes as sensations overwhelmed you. Unlike your usual orgasms, this one only made you hungrier for more. You turned up the setting on the wand again.

“It’s quite alright, darling,” she assured. “Do you still want mama to fuck you while you have the plug in? It might feel a little different than it ever has before.”

You nodded eagerly. “Please mama!”

“Okay, sweetheart,” she chuckled affectionately, surprised and amused by your eagerness. She lined herself up with your pussy, pulling your hips back to meet her own.

You cried out, suddenly acutely aware of why she’d chosen such a small strap. With the plug in your ass, your pussy felt so much fuller than you would’ve expected. Your hands shot out in front of you, gripping the bed sheets for dear life.

Wanda made her first few strokes slow, watching as the base of the plug shifted with her movements.

“Mama!” You cried again. “Feels so… so full mama. Please!”

“Does it feel good baby?” She asked, rocking into faster. “Do you like having mama in both your holes? Do you like it when she fucks you with a pretty plug in your ass?”

“Yes mama!” You breathed. “It hurts, just a little, but it feels so good mama.”

“Aww does it make your ass feel too full baby?” She cooed. “That’s okay, honey. You can cry while mama fills your holes. That’s it. Cry for mama baby.”

In an almost Pavlovian response, you started to cry. The pain was bearable, even surprisingly pleasant, but Wanda’s command allowed your body permission to let the tears flow. You were glad your admission of pain didn’t seem to deter her, even when it was paired with tears. In fact, the sound of your cries only seemed to spur her on further, nearly pulling out of you and pounding back into you with every stroke.

“Mama I’m gonna cum again,” you sobbed.

Wanda ignored you, continuing to fuck you through your orgasm. You came harder this time, having to turn off the wand between your legs to keep yourself from overstimulating.

You tried to squirm away from Wanda, but she grabbed your hips harder and kept you in place. “No baby. Keep crying for mama. Keep making those pretty noises. I’m so close.”

You felt her hips start to falter before she pushed herself as deep into you as possible. She groaned, near collapsing on top of you before catching herself on the bed.

“That was so perfect, angel,” she soothed, pulling out of you while she gently ran her fingers through your hair. You whined at the sensation, lying limp on the bed. “Let’s get you all cleaned up and in some jammies, and then you can sit under mama’s desk while she finishes working. Does that sound good, little love?”

You nodded, groaning as she pulled out the plug and set it on the nightstand to be cleaned. Your head spun. All you could think of was your mama. You were so lucky to have someone who cared for you so deeply. You were so thankful you had her to guide you, to indulge all your curiosities. “Thank you, mama,” you mumbled tiredly.

“For what, sweetheart?” She asked, playing with your hair and looking down at your blissful face.

“For being here to teach me new things,” you tried to explain. Your head was so floaty you couldn’t get your words quite right. “And… and trying new things with me. And not thinking I’m gross or weird when I get curious about… certain things.”

“Of course, angel,” she said, kissing the top of your head. “That’s what mama’s do.”

—————

Wanda stood next to the bed, this time in her own room: the room she shared with your father. With him gone all week, her previous rules about keeping sex with you out of their shared space had gone as well. Unlike when you were young, it didn’t bother you much anymore. After all, you hadn’t seen him in years. In many ways, he wasn’t so real to you anymore.

So you held no discomfort about your current position, naked on your hands and knees in the middle of their bed.

Wanda was almost equally as naked, wearing nothing but the harness and the necklace you’d just given her. She was working on preparing and securing the toys you two had picked out in the appropriate O-rings. It she wasn’t so goddamn beautiful and you weren’t so goddamn turned on, she might have looked ridiculous.

But you suppose that was part of the gig with sex in general. It’s a little ridiculous, and, actually, mostly rather unsexy. But something about love and arousal morphs your perspective just enough to change everything: to make it a magical experience.

You’d chosen a smaller, blue dildo on the top. It was only about 6 inches long and less than an inch in diameter. On the bottom, you chose the first strap she’d ever fucked you with. It seemed fitting that the first time she’d use the strap on you in three years, she’d use the same one she’d used for your first time ever.

You felt the bed dip and she crawled onto the mattress behind you. She ran her nails down your back. “You are so beautiful, you know that?” She asked in a low sultry tone. She ran a finger up your slit. You’d been practically dripping since you’d opened her gift.

You shivered at her touch, instinctively buckling your hips back against her hand. “Please mama,” you whined. You were already so needy for her.

She wanted to hold out for a little longer, circle you while she toyed with your perfectly displayed body. But one look at your ass had her impatient. She needed to be inside of you, urgently. She lined the bottom toy up with your pussy, slowly pushing into. You were all too inviting, practically swallowing her. She was met with little resistance even in the first couple strokes. Then she pressed the top toy into your ass.

Instinctively, you tensed. “Shh, baby. It’s okay. Relax for mama. I’ve got you.” She rubbed gently at your lower back.

You relax, allowing her to push the toy into you. You whined as she pushed past the initial ring of muscles.

“Mama’s got you,” she reassured. “I’ll go nice and slow.”

The overwhelming full sensation immediately made your arms collapse, pushing you face down into the mattress. It was so much different than having her fuck you while you wore a plug. Rather than a static thing shifting inside of you, there were two things, moving simultaneously in rhythm with one another.

The stretch was overwhelming. You could feel both of the toys from both holes as they each pushed you open. Your eyes rolled back in your head and your mouth fell open. She’d hardly been in you for a minute and you were already losing your mind. “Mama… mama please,” you pleaded.

She leaned over to wipe the hair from your face. “What is it baby? Tell mama what you need,” she said, concerned. It had been a while since she’d fuck you. Maybe this was too much for your first time back. “Do you need mama to stop? I can take the blue one off and we can just use the pink toy,” she suggested anxiously.

You gripped the sheets under your hands, jaw slack and mouth opened. Once again, her anxious rambling fell on deaf ears as your mind was consumed with pleasure. “Faster,” you said unexpectedly. “Please, mama, go faster.”

Her eyes went wide at the unexpected request, but she hesitantly started to build to a moderate pace. She gripped your hips, pulling them to meet hers with each thrust.

“You’re doing so well, sweetheart,” she praised. The sound of your skin hitting hers alone was driving Wanda crazy. She took a few deep breaths, willing herself to calm down. But when your weak little voice cried out from underneath her, she lost all semblance of control.

“Mama, please, harder.”

She tilted her head, giving herself a moment to process what you were saying.

She remembered you at 18, meek and trembling under her. She recalled the way you stuttered when you asked her even the simplest questions about sex. You were so ashamed and afraid to ask anything of her back then. It would’ve taken you weeks to muster even a simple request.

And here you were, years later, underneath her once again, shamelessly begging for her to fuck you harder. She couldn’t be more proud.

She slammed her hips into yours, gripping you hard enough to leave marks. “Did you miss mama fucking you like this? Did you miss her toys filling you up until you couldn’t think anymore?”

You nodded. “Yes mama!”

“You’re taking me so well, little love,” she praised. Her eyes darkened as she watched the strap disappear into you again and again. She was fixated with the sight. “Mama’s gonna have to get the camera out so you can see what a little angel you look like from up here, taking my straps all the way to the hilt. Would you like that baby? Would you like to watch yourself get fucked by mama?”

You nodded. “Mhm,” you hummed, biting your bottom lip. Her words took you slightly off guard, but that didn’t stop them from further turning you on. It seemed your boldness was rubbing off on Wanda.

“Mama could record you a little video and then you could watch it while you touch yourself later, huh? See what a good little girl you are for me.”

You moaned, nearly screaming into the wadded up sheets. “M-mama…” you stammered. The way she spoke, telling you her fantasies so unabashedly, made your head spin. You supposed this was as good a time as any to bring a fantasy of your own into fruition. “S-spank me. Please. Spank my ass.”

Wanda’s eyes darkened with lust at the request. She placed a cautious spank on your right ass cheek. It wasn’t hard enough to actually hurt. It was more just for the sensation.

“Harder,” you requested timidly. “Please, h-hurt me.”

Wanda slapped your other side, harder this time. You cried out, involuntarily clenching around the toys. She spanked you again and again, becoming obsessed with the sensation of you tightening around her. “You like it when mama hurts you?” She asked. Her voice was deeper than usual.

You nodded. You sniffled back tears, desperate not to cry. You were so afraid she’d stop or ease up, thinking she’d hurt you.

“Are you gonna cry for mama?” She asked, picking up on your stifled sniffling. “Go on and cry for me, love. You know mama loves to watch you cry.”

The floodgates opened as you started to sob underneath her, nearly shaking. “Feels so good, mama. I love being stretched with your toys. I love when you hurt me. I love you. I love you.”

Wanda smiled. God you were a vision, crying and trembling underneath her, and asking her to hurt you while you told her you loved her. “I love you too, darling. Fuck. I love you so much.”

“Please make me cum, mama. Please let me cum with you inside me,” you cried.

“You can cum whenever you want, baby. Go ahead and play with yourself for me. Mama’s got you. I wanna watch you cum on my toys, honey. Show mama how much you love her present.”

You reached your hand back and played with your own clit. She started to spank you again. “Mama!” You shrieked as you fell apart under her. She continued to fuck you and spank you, grabbing your hands at the wrist when you moved to push her away.

“Shshsh, angel,” she soothed gently. “I’m just making sure I get it all out of you, baby. Just let mama take care of it, honey.” She took both of your hands, positioning them on either side of your ass. “Be a good girl and hold yourself open for mama, okay?”

She pulled out of you, leaning over to spit in your open asshole. She watched in awe as the muscle closed back up, leaving her spit inside of you. She’d waited years to see this. Had she had a bit of foresight, she would have brought a plug she could stuff you with after, making sure it stayed inside. Oh well. There was always next time.

She moved your hands away, spanking your ass one more time for good measure. You groaned.

She grabbed a cloth off the side table, carefully wiping your clean. You squirmed under her gentle touch, but she held you in place before gently laying you on your side.

Much to your chagrin, she climbed off the bed. “Mama…” you called after her, reaching out for her.

“It’s alright baby, I’m just gonna take this off and then I’ll get all cozy with you in there okay? Wait just a second for mama.”

You pouted for the whole ten seconds it took her to get the harness off. She crawled into bed next to you, pulling you under the blankets with her. You curled into her side while she gently played with your hair.

“You’ve never asked me to spank you before, little love. What was that about?” She asked kindly and nonjudgmentally.

You shrugged. “I don’t know,” you replied hazily. “I was always too embarrassed to ask before, but… I’m not so scared anymore.”

She smiled and kissed your head. “I’m glad you asked,” she admitted. “I enjoyed it. And I’m so very proud of you for being so brave. You made mama braver too, you know.”

You cuddled into her closer, looking up at her from her chest. Your eyes begged a silent question.

She giggled. “Ah, I thought we were asking for what we want now? Now you’re getting all shy on me again?”

You whined. Asking for things was hard, and you thought you’d done quite enough for one day.

She chuckled at your stubbornness. “Do you wanna suckle for mama? You earned it little love, being so brave and asking mama for what you want. Go ahead sweet girl.”

“Thank you, mama,” you say before taking her nipple into your mouth.

“Of course, baby,” she whispered, kissing your head. “That’s what mama’s do.”

Taglist: @wandanatsgirl @jordy-12 @snowy12 @wandamaximoffsbadgirl @wandaslovey @alicentsbunny @theloveweholdtohigh @inarayofmoonlight @boredandneedfanfics @hikyiwid @mrskatemaximoff @redheadsinmybed @wandaslamb @marigoldenblooms @emiliaisdead @lizziefor @virginiatcm @kittercandy

[flaggermuser]

When You Loved Me

1,209 words || Fluff, Spoilers for Season 4 Episode 4, Hurt/Comfort, GN Reader, Doctor Reader, Happy Ending, Childhood Trauma ||

Inspired by the idea that at least one doctor would have formed an attachment.

Thank you to @bisexualhomelander for being my beta

They're nearly all dead, there's just one loose end that Homelander needs to tie up.

So he stands outside the unassuming house, ready to cross the final name off his list, which he found in an old abandoned file documenting his ‘development’.

It was a stroke of luck that he found you - it seemed as if Vogelbaum scrubbed you from all official records.

Determined to finish what he's started, he knocks on your door and waits impatiently, ready to strike you down where you stand.

“I’m coming!”

He freezes, his entire body tensing up as your voice unlocks memories from his time in the lab, ones buried deep somewhere at the back of his mind.

A frightened and hurt little boy being held, being comforted after the incinerator and the other horrible forms of torture he was subjected to.

“Shhh, it's okay, you're okay. I'm here. Shall we read another story?”

The door slowly opens and there you are. 

Now that he's seen your face, the memories are more vivid. There’s still that kindness in your eyes, the one he saw every night before he went to sleep. 

At least, for a few months before you disappeared.

“Hello, John.” Your smile is still as warm as he remembers. “My, how you’ve grown. Come in, come in!”

With trepidation, he slowly enters, unsure of what he’ll find. It’s homely, filled with curiosities and everything he’s ever associated with a true American home. As he follows you into your living room, he notices some of the pictures on the wall with you and your former colleagues at Vought, some of whom he’s already killed.

“Would you like something to drink?”

“A glass of milk would be nice,” he replies, trying his best to smile while conflicting thoughts swirl in his mind.

He was so convinced that you were like the others that had you not spoken, he would have killed you the moment you opened the door.

“Well take a seat, I’ll be right back.”

He takes a seat on your couch, hands in his lap, looking around the room again. That’s when he notices the mantelpiece, covered in photos and newspaper clippings, all in ornate frames.

Not of your family - of him. They’re all of him.

Taking pride of place in the middle of the mantelpiece is a picture from several years ago.

“Don't worry John, it's just a camera. All I'm going to do is take a picture of just the two of us. I promise it won't hurt.”

He's sat on your lap, your arms around him, holding him tightly, protectively, a smile on your face.

He’s smiling too. He’s happy. He’s with you.

They took you from me.

“Here we go,” your return snaps him back to reality, his eyes softening as he notices the glass of milk in your hand and a plate of cookies in your other, settling it down on the coffee table in front of him.

It’s such a sweet gesture.

You take a seat in a nearby armchair, “It’s so wonderful to see you again.”

After all these years, you’re still this beacon of absolute kindness.

“Do I call you John or Homelander?”

“John.”

How did I forget how lovingly you said my name? How did I forget you?

“I’m so proud of you, you’ve done so well. And look at you, you’re The Homelander! Leader of the Seven!”

His lower lip quivers, trying to keep himself together but it’s proving harder. Your praise comes from a place of pure love, something he’s never experienced or at least, he can’t remember experiencing.

“I see you’ve noticed the mantel. I know I must seem mad but I’ve been following your progress.”

You cared about me, you care about me, it’s all genuine.

“You were so young when I last saw you, with that lovely little smile.”

You reach out to take his hand but he pulls away, only so he can take off his glove. It looks so small in his, he knows if he squeezes just a little, all your bones would be crushed to dust.

But he won't.

“The things we did. Oh John, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry that I didn’t do anything to save you. I should've stood up to Vogelbaum, I should've protected you."

Saved him, protected him - the regret is written all over your face.

They regretted their actions too, only after he reminded them. Then they apologised but it was too late for them, maybe it’s still too late for you. 

He squeezes your hand, trying to comfort you. 

“You know, I think about you every day. I wanted to reach out but I figured Vogelbaum would have any attempt at contact blocked, especially from me. All because I chose to be human.”

Human. They were human too and they tortured me.

It’s clear that is a sore subject for you, nowhere near as painful for him but the fact it makes you sad somehow makes him feel better. It shows that you cared.

“They fired me for ‘interfering with the experiment’ but how could I not?! You were scared, you were crying and they left you all alone in that horrid room.”

The bad room.

“I couldn’t just leave you there to cry yourself to sleep. So I volunteered to take the night shift. Do you remember… remember the first time?”

His jaw tightens, desperately searching his mind for even the tiniest hint of a recollection yet all of the torment he was subjected to has buried everything deeper. 

“You were terrified that I was going to hurt you, your eyes glowed red and you trembled. I knew you didn’t want to hurt me but you would if you had to.”

You understood.

“It took you a few minutes to realise I wouldn’t hurt you - I think it was the books under my arm that convinced you I wasn’t a threat.”

A single flash - “Would you like me to read you a story?”

“I sat down on your bed, you sat on my lap and we read story, after story, after story. Until you didn’t want me to read anymore, you just wanted me to hold you. So I did exactly that.”

He desperately wants to remember, he needs to remember. 

“Then Vogelbaum found out, I must have forgotten to turn the cameras off and I was removed from the project. I should’ve fought for you, I should’ve marched right back in there and demanded to take you. But I didn’t.”

But you’re here now. They’re all dead but you’re still here.

“I forgive you,” it slips out of his mouth, however, this time it’s heartfelt. He means this without malice.

You’re the parent he’d always wanted, living in a house he always dreamed of, serving him milk and cookies like he’s still that young boy you cared about.

Maybe it wasn’t too late, maybe there could be something here, born from the ashes of your past sin and his trauma.

Sniffling, you wipe away your tears, tightening your grip on his hand. When the smile returns, it’s affectionate and all for him.

“I want you to know, John. I need you to know, that you’ll always have a place here and in my heart."

[indulgentdaydream]

protective!jason hcs or blurb 🥰

Ok so I kinda touched on these in my latest fic but anyways i WILL elaborate bc those were just background

We all know that man is touch starved. We ALL know it.

We also all know he’s hesitant with sharing touch

It’s only once you both have been dating for a bit already, maybe three months in, that he really starts to show his protectiveness through his touch

Or at least when you notice it

He’s always at least holding your hand as you guys walk around Gotham. Depending on exactly whereabouts in Gotham is when he changes whether he’s between you and the road, or you and the alleyways.

You watched him change it up one time halfway through your shared walk, him letting go of your left hand, stepping behind you and around to grab your right instead.

“Oh? So you want me to get hit by a car and die?”

Jason only keeps his eyes on the passing buildings and the ones coming up, “The chance of that is much lower than somebody trying to mug you in this area, love.”

One day you’re both out at the bar together. He’s sitting on a stool behind you as you babble to oke of yours friends.

From over their shoulder, you see a man approaching, but don’t think anything of it.

Suddenly, you see the man stop in his tracks, freezing. You glance over at him. He looks terrified. He glances at you, his original target, then behind you again. He spins on his heel and walks back the way he came.

You look behind you, feeling Jason’s hand still resting on your hip. You almost feel a little scared yourself, seeing that killer glare that Jason’s pointing at the guy’s back.

He switches immediately the second he looks down to you, a soft smile and kind eyes, not a hint of the previous bloodlust a mere second ago. “What?” He asks, like watching his expression change wasn’t the biggest turn on in the world.

You’re sitting in your apartment at your desk typing away on your laptop. You’re trying to file your taxes, and Jason had come over to help you with it (surprisingly he knows how even though he’s still legally dead at this point and hasn’t had to pay any taxes. Ever.)

He had stood and was wondering around your room a bit while he waited for you to fill the next part out. You can hear shuffling, but you’re too focused to tune into it.

“Jay? What does this line mean?”

Jason grunts for a moment and you hear your window slide open.

You turn back around, “Jay?”

“One second.” He shuts your window again. You watch as he fiddles with the lock before easily sliding the window back open. He throws his hands in the air and looks at you. “How long have you lived here?”

You shrug, confused, “You helped me move in.”

Jason waves his hand through the air, “When?”

“Almost a year? Last November.”

Jason fiddles with the window again, slamming it back down, “This lock doesn’t work. You been sleeping in here and anyone could’ve just broken in?”

You shrug again, “I didn’t know it was broken! I don’t really lock my window often.”

Jason looks like he almost broke his neck by how fast his head whipped back to you, “You don’t lock your window????”

He finishes your taxes for you before he leaves, saying he’ll be back. Within the hour he’s knocking on your door again, a duffle bag in hand full of power tools, screws, and different assortments of heavy duty locks. He spends the rest of the night installing them.

A new one on your bedroom window that actually consisted of two different locks. A similar two on your kitchen window. Another three on your bedroom door itself. Then four on your front door.

As he leaned over your kitchen sink, screwing in the lock and blocking your way as you tried to make you both dinner.

“Is this really necessary?”

“I’m not having you practically open to every bad thing the city has to offer, love.”

“Then how are you going to come in through my window now?”

“I’ll learn to knock.”

That’s all I can think of right now okay byeee

[aakeysmash]

college!sukuna would have you as a sugar baby: exam season edition

college!sukuna masterlist

“You know what, I should just drop out,” you ramble, pacing in your living room, hair disheveled and a pencil behind your ear.

Sukuna just hums, sitting on the sofa while munching on chickpea chips he bought the other day saying that “protein is protein”.

“Or or or… I should find a rich man! Yeah, I should be a sugar baby,” you continue, and he just nods, mindlessly scrolling through the tv channels.

“At least I would be happy with my ass on a yacht. Hey, do you think I have sugar baby material?” You ask him, stopping for a second, thinking. All you get as an answer is a grunt. “Sukuna? Are you even listening to me?” You wave your hand in front of the tv. That catches his attention, but only for a mere quarter of a second.

“What?”

You sigh, exasperated. “Why am I even talking to you?”

“Do a spin,” he says, lowly, still not sparing you a glance, putting a bunch of chips in his mouth. You’re so out of your mind that you actually do, and when you turn around his eyes are on you for the first time since you started talking 30 minutes ago. 30 minutes of straight whines. He’s giving you a once over, gaze fixed over how your oversized sweater is falling from your left shoulder, letting him see the top of your boob. He imagines himself sucking exactly on that spot, your breath by his ear, his mark on your-

“Yeah, I’d pay for you,” he says nonchalantly, getting back to zapping.

“You would?” You say excitedly. “Wait. You would?” You add after a moment, taken aback, your face falling progressively. You whine again. “I’m never going to be a sugar baby,” you finish, sprawling out on the carpet near the sofa he’s sitting on, closing your eyes.

“Yo, I have taste, the fuck you mean?” He replies roughly, looking down at you and slightly kicking you in the ribs. Just enough to barely move you from your star-like pose. You open your eyes, looking up at his four ones, assuming a mocking face.

“Now do you?” You say, doubtful, rolling on your side before sitting up while he’s flipping you off. You’re face to face with his knees. Yeah, knees. Keep it PG.

He gets his elbows on said knees, putting his index finger under your chin to raise your face. “Yeah baby, I’d keep you as my prettiest whore if I had like 50 years more than I do,” he says. Then he immediately adds “But I don’t, so stop fucking complaining and let me watch my damn tv. It’s fucking Saturday, give me a break,” flicking your forehead and blowing on your face at the same time. He tastes like real chickpeas and you’re almost impressed by how the pack of chips didn’t lie about the ingredients. He sprawls back on the sofa, occupying as much space as he can by laying down on his side with one of his hands under his chin, returning to his chickpea chips with the other. You scrunch your face, then pout.

“Then what am I supposed to do? I can’t take 5 exams in a week,” you whine, getting your forehead on the little 7 inches rectangle that is left naturally near his chest.

“Suck it up, pussy boy,” he answers, bored. You’ve been going at it for what feels like an eternity and he’d already have lost his patience if seeing you miserable didn’t get a snort out of him. You turn your head to face him, hair all in your face from the movement, but you don’t have the strength to put it in a more comfortable position.

“You don’t get it,” you sigh, your features turning even more worried. You stay like that long enough to start dozing off (and seeing how sleep deprived you are lately, that’s about 40 seconds max), hearing him clean his hands. Suddenly, you feel his hand brushing on your cheek lightly, moving your hair behind your ear and away from your face.

“You gotta do what you gotta do,” he tells you gruffly, scratching lightly on the top of your head. You hum. You know he’s right. He knows you know you’re capable of doing it. He gives your head a couple more pats before pushing it a bit.

“Go study and stop bothering me now. This tv ain’t gonna watch itself,” he says calmly.

You get up, nodding. “Thanks, man. I know I can always count on you for some backhanded comfort,” you reply, corners of your mouth turning upwards for the first time since exam season started (literally two days ago. Hey, you’re a smiley person!). He grunts, not looking at you again, and you know that’s all you’re going to get from him.

You get back in your room to study, and suddenly he finds himself losing interest in his chips in 15 minutes, the buzzing sound of the voices from the western movie he’s watching merely a background noise. Was it always so quiet when you weren’t around?

[biteyoubiteme]

mystery flavored

hueningkai x fem!reader

synopsis: kai lives across from you and has a perfect view of your bed.

warnings: 🔞!!! perv!kai, masturbation (m! and f!), slight fingering, no protection, creampie, prob forgot some

wc: 2.7k

an: so sorry this one took a while but I should be back on track now <33 not proofreading i’m so sorry lol feedback is appreciated :)) [m.list]

this is apart of my mini kinktober evert check out the other fics ! [dumdum m.list]

It started as a simple little crush. You had moved into the building next to his, and your friends were helping you with the boxes and furniture. Kai had been busy working on a deadline, his desk a mess with all his papers and books, his hand curled in his hair, trying to blink away the strain he had put on his eyes staring at his laptop for so long. It was late, and all your friends had gone home after helping, but you were in your room setting things up. 

He had made it a habit not to look into the window across from his, the previous tenants always leaving their blinds open. He never was nosey, not when he didn’t want anyone looking back. But his desk was pressed right against the windowsill, the short distance between your buildings giving the perfect view right across from him. 

He had hit submit on his paper closing his laptop leaving darkness pooling around him the only streak of light coming from your window. You were standing on a chair, arms lifted above you as you messed with the curtain rod. Your tank top had ridden up your stomach exposing your navel and waistband of your shorts. All that skin on display making him do a double take. 

He didn't think he would see you again like this after you put up your curtains but to his surprise, they weren’t the type to keep out light. The sheer lacy fabric still gives him the outline of your body. At least when you had them closed and you hardly ever made time to fuss over them after pushing them open a few months ago. 

He told himself he wouldn’t look. Ran the consequences over and over in his head if he was ever caught. But he always did his work so late, late enough for you to already be in bed, sometimes late enough to see you get home from staying out all night. 

It was that one night that changed it for him. He could see you sleepily fumbling to turn on your lamp, the golden light framing you as you tugged off your shirt and pushed down your jeans. You walked to your closet in only your underwear, your back to him as you slipped off your bra. 

You had pulled out an oversized t-shirt putting it on before climbing into bed and reaching over to turn the lamp off on your bedside table. He hadn’t seen more than the equivalent of a bikini at a beach but he couldn’t shake the image. It was the first time he touched himself to the thought of you. 

Every time after that he always told himself it was the last time, he would be at his desk with his laptop open but not on so you wouldn't see the light, and he would try so hard not to let his face give himself away just in case you ever looked over. His hair hanging in his eyes hiding his expression if he looked down, or at least that's what he told himself would keep him covered. 

In the beginning, he would always finish and think he was the worst, “never again,” he'd vow only to be called right back to that window. 

Then it progressed into more, both of you taking the same walk to campus and without even realizing it he knew your schedule better than his own. and when the new semester started he found that the two of you had one class together. Your seat is right in front of his. 

It was a big lecture hall but a small class so it was easy to notice how spread out everyone else was in the room. But this was the closest he had been without the windows between you two so he didn't want to miss the opportunity. Not that he was confident enough to speak to you in the first place but he was hoping you would need a pen or last week's notes, anything that the proximity would lead you to picking him to ask. 

He went home to his room feeling better than he had in a while, watching the way you came back later that day, tossing your bag near the foot of your desk, laptop pushed open as you took your seat. He was in darkness watching as you clicked open your assignments, flipping through the different tabs before he watched you sigh, closing your laptop altogether without doing anything you needed to. Instead, you push away from your desk before falling into your bed, arm thrown over your eyes to block out the light from your lamp. 

It isn't until a few minutes later that Kai notices the way you are rubbing your thighs together, the way your hand is slipping down into your pants. It’s not the first time he’s caught you like this, hips grinding into your palm, mouth open in a moan he wishes he could hear. The bed was in just the right spot for him to see everything as you pushed your pants down. 

He tried to tell himself not to but it wasn’t in his nature to resist this kind of temptation. He was so hard in his sweatpants that he was sure if he accidentally brushed his bulge it would be painful. Even when he was younger he’d never gotten hard this fast but with one glance in your direction with you on your bed he couldn’t help himself. 

Your legs were spreading just for him, the perfect view of this performance as you worked yourself. Kai was matching his pace to yours, picking up the rhythm with ease. And even if you couldn't hear him he tried to stay quiet, fighting back every moan, the struggle turning the sounds to desperate whimpers in the back of his throat. 

Knows it's hitting you by the way your body reacts, knees pulling in, back arching, mouth caught slightly open. He wants to keep watching but he has to press his face against his desk because there is no hiding his expression as he lets himself go. His cum dots his sweatshirt and hand as he gasps, the cold wood of his desk pressed to his heated cheek. When he sits back up he sees you lift your slick fingers to your mouth, cleaning them off exactly as he would. He's never craved something so much. 

But when he's back in class with you seated in front of him he can't focus. Mind wandering back to the night before, missing everything the professor was saying. It isn't until you turn your head catching him looking right at you that he's jolted back to reality. 

You can't help but smile watching the way his blush starts so suddenly. He's trying to look down at his paper, realizing he hasn't been taking notes this whole time, head snapping up to the board with the slide show already over. 

“Here,” you offer your notebook over to him, “we are partnering up for the next project so you can just give it to me next week,” 

“We are partnering up?” 

“You didn't hear our names called together?” 

“I-um- I kinda zoned out,” he confesses, trying to laugh it off but wanting to fall through the floor.  

“I get it, this wasn't too interesting a lecture,” you smile reaching over for his blank notebook, “here I'll write my number down so we can plan when we can meet up about getting this project done,” 

Only it isn't even two days later and you catch him on his walk home. Your hand on his arm makes him jump. “I'm sorry I thought you heard me calling you,” you laugh, “but I'm so glad I caught you because I actually need my notes back from the other day. I forgot I wrote the pages for the reading down in there,” 

“O-okay, they’re back at my place, I just finished with them last night,”  he's completely flustered after being caught off guard, trying not to look you in the eyes as if the second you looked you would know his secret. 

You're kind of surprised at how shy he is around you when you've seen him seem so open with his friends around campus. Now he's a stuttering flushed mess in front of you trying to keep one foot in front of the other not to trip and embarrass himself anymore. He leads you right up to his apartment, pushing open his door and apologizing for a mess that isn't there. 

He expects you to wait by the door while he goes to pick up your notebook from his desk but you follow right behind him. The space feels suffocating as the two of you stand in his room, the pile of plushies on his bed seeming so much bigger now that he's seeing it from your perspective. But it isn't the first thing that you notice.

The glow from the lamp you'd accidentally left on was cutting out a space on his desk, the light pooling on the finished wood like a confession he didn't want to spill. He doesn't even notice at first until you sigh, “damn I always forget to turn that one off,” 

You're looking at your room from this new perspective, the way your bed is angled just right to line up with the window. Kai is trying to swallow the lump in his throat, mouth opening and closing like he could say something that wouldn’t make him feel like he was caught. But it wasn’t like you didn't know.

You had seen him looking on that first night and although you knew you shouldn't like the way it made you feel it had the opposite effect. 

At first, it was a little cute the way he tried hard not to look in but as soon as the first time you noticed him masturbating to you it was hard not to purposefully toy with him. Having him in front of you now only made it all the better. “Be honest, have you ever looked over into my room?” you ask sitting on the edge of his bed. 

Kai doesn't know if he should lie, knows that if he tells the truth you would think about all the times the windows have been wide open while you changed or worse. But if he lies and you have seen him looking he doesn't know if he will ever recover. “You never- um- you don't-” 

“Close my curtains?” you tilt your head watching the way he's gripping your notebook, “I should do that huh? Especially when I have neighbors who like to watch when I touch myself,” 

Kai thinks his knees could actually be jelly at this point. “I- I can e-explain-” he's hot all over, trying to make up for the fact he's been watching you by not having his eyes meet yours. Not when you're on the bed because if he thinks about you in or on his bed he will be hard and it's not the time.

“It's okay, I don't think you really could explain it away,” you giggle leaning back on your hands, ”but you know what I'd like to see? I'd like it if you’d show me how you touch yourself when you watch me," 

His eyes snap over to you for the first time to really take you in. The way you seem so calm, legs crossed in front of you watching how he's shocked speechless. “It's only fair, you never do show in return,” 

Kai doesn't even know how he's found himself here now, with you in his bed with one of his plushies in your lap as he leans back on his desk chair and tries not to cum too quickly with your eyes on him. Every few seconds he has to pull his hand away from his cock edge himself before you're egging him on, “Keep going, I know you can last longer than that,” 

“I can't-” his hair falls into his eyes as he shakes his head, “I want-” he pulls his hand away, cock twitching against his stomach as he struggles for words. 

“You want what? Do you want to fuck me? Is that what you're saving yourself for?” you ask laying yourself back against his pillows and stuffies, knees spreading letting him see up your skirt. The wet spot on your panties mesmerizes him like he's never seen this sight before. “I don't know if you deserve it,” 

“I'm sorry, I'm-” he has to stop his slow pumps again, fingers just barely circling his tip but even that might be too much. 

Pushing your panties to the side you slide your fingers through your folds, his eyes trained on the movement, both of you whimpering as you play with your clit. Kai can't even think as he moves to the bed, needing to be closer to you. He lays next to you, veiny cock pressed to the outside of your thigh, grinding into your leg showing just how needy he is. 

“Did you think about me in your bed when you touched yourself? Or did you climb in with me in mine?” you reach for his hand bringing it down between your legs. “Did you imagine it was your hands on me instead of my own?” 

You guide his fingers over your clit, letting him take control when he presses his face into your shoulder, moaning at the feel of how warm and wet you are. 

His hips are matching the way he’s rubbing against your clit. It’s almost too much for him and when you ask, “Are you going to just play or are you going to fuck me?” he can’t take it anymore. 

Kai prods at your entrance pushing in two fingers knuckles deep. Your hips jerk up to meet his hand but he doesn’t let you, pulling out just to shove the same fingers into your mouth like he’s seen you doing so many times before. You're shocked by the taste of yourself for only the second it takes you to realize his intentions. 

He pushes you over to your side, cock bumping your ass before you feel him pushing between your thighs slipping along your cunt. Your muffled yelp is heard around his fingers as he pushes in, stretching you inch by inch. Your body relaxes into his, your head on his shoulder as he angels his hips to get as deep as he can in this position. 

“Oh god- you feel so fucking good,” hes panting into your shoulder, fingers swirling along your tongue. He's pressed right against your womb, your brows scrunched at the way he's splitting you, squeezing around him until he's stilling to try and not cum too fast. “I've dreamt about how good it would feel to be buried inside you,” You're whining on his fingers as he trusts them to match his cock slowly inching in and out of you. “I'd wait up just to see you when you got home, watch you undress,” he groans at the thought hips snapping forward. 

“Id think about- fuck,” he drops his hand from your mouth, fingers still wet with your saliva, and presses them to your clit. The stimulation has your head going foggy, “and I think about touching this pretty pussy just like this,” 

You can feel him losing his stamina, stuttering hips, and twitching cock making you lose your mind. “Did you think about filling me up with your cum?” 

The soft whimper he lets out is an echo of his need, rumbling in his chest as he presses onto your clit needing to feel you cum on his cock. It's almost too much and when you start to grind back on him he can't help himself as he cums, his pathetic ah-ahs a melody you didn't know you needed before you were clenching around him following right after him pressing your palm to your pelvis like that could stop the way your hips were twitching for him. 

When he pulled out you could feel your combined release slipping down your thighs his soft apologies waved away as you turned around tugging the back of his hair until his lips were on yours. “Next time you can come over to my place and play out exactly how you would have fucked me into my mattress,” 

🏷 taglist: @kissmekissykissme @bts-txt-ateez @apeachty @stwq2349 @isa942572 @tomorrowxforever r @beestvng @soobingf-blog @lovinjjong @lola-horore-553 @cypher-03 @midnight-mochii i @hueningwhy @choibeomning @soobinbunnie5 @yunjinswifee @cupidtaehyun @bamgeutsz @prince-jjae @nessaassen02 @iluvhyukaa @mrsjohnnysuh @wand3rlustm3

[starkwlkr]

cherry flavoured | sebastian vettel

sebastian vettel x reporter!reader

based on the video of iker casillas and his gf during the 2010 world cup

she’s a long one <3 this was finished at 2:30 AM so I’m sorry if there’s any mistakes (please do not request for part 2)

Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 2010

It was the last race of the season and you were nervous, especially for Sebastian. It was down to Fernando, Mark, Sebastian and Lewis, one of them was going to be them champion. It was your job to cover the race and conduct interviews before and after so this gave you a chance to speak with Sebastian and wish him luck. The media didn’t know about your relationship that had just become official a month ago.

Sebastian had asked you out before the Japanese Grand Prix. That day, you decided to make a deal with him. If he won, you would go to dinner with him. After 53 laps, Sebastian secured a win and a date with you.

While you finished up your interview with Lewis, Sebastian stood patiently to the side. He kept his eye on you, staring at how you talked with such confidence and passion. He loved how expressive you were, sometimes talking with your hands. After letting Lewis go so he could prepare for the race, it was Sebastian’s turn. He happily joined you.

“Hello Sebastian, how are you?” You asked, knowing already how he felt, but you had to do your job. The night before, you stayed in Sebastian’s room, that’s when he told you how nervous he was feeling.

“Good, excited, happy.” He replied, smiling at you.

“Well I won’t keep you here for very long—”

“Why not? I enjoy talking to you.” Sebastian interrupted. His smirk was making you weak and all you wanted was to drag him into a room and let him have his way with you, but you couldn’t at least not now.

Several questions later, Sebastian was still giving you that look making it hard for you to concentrate. It was the same look he gave you the night before when you and him were in his hotel room ripping each other’s clothes off.

“Alright, good luck Seb . . astian, sebastian sorry.” You apologized.

All Sebastian did was laugh at your mistake. Since nobody apart from Mark knew about your relationship, you couldn’t call him Seb. He nodded then mumbled an ‘I love you’ and left. You really hoped nobody could read his lips since you were still live.

You understood that Sebastian needed to concentrate before the race so you didn’t bother him. Soon, the race had started, almost instantly on lap 1, a crash happened. After the race restarted, you watched Sebastian keep his p1 position. When it came to the final lap, everyone was silent in the Red Bull garage where you were watching the race from. Sebastian crossed the finish line, but you still had to wait for the other four cars.

Lewis came in second then came Jenson. After confirming, it was clear that Sebastian had become world champion.

You and the team members of Red Bull made it to the podium ceremony. The German nation anthem played as Sebastian soaked in the moment. He had made history by becoming the youngest world champion. After the national anthem finished, he tried to look for you in the crowd. When he finally did, he winked at you. Again, he was making you feel all sorts of emotions.

After the podium celebrations and posing for photos, the three drivers had to do threat post race interviews. You were in charge of being the first to interview the new world champion.

In the media pen, Sebastian spotted you getting ready for your interview. When you were done, he walked up to you with the biggest smile on his face.

“Congratulations Sebastian. How was it up there on the podium?” You asked.

“It was a dream, but now it’s reality.” Sebastian replied. “I just wanna thank all the people that supported me and you of course, you’ve been there for me.”

You weren’t sure how to respond to that. Was Sebastian about to reveal your relationship?

“Well congratulations again, go celebrate this historic win—” Before you could finish your sentence, Sebastian placed both of his hands on your cheeks and brought you closer to him, placing a kiss on your lips. You could taste the champagne that had been poured of him by Jenson and Lewis. From the distance, Jenson cheered, making everyone turn their attention towards you and Sebastian.

Sebastian didn’t care that you were still live. All he wanted was to celebrate with his girlfriend. “I love you.” He mumbled against your lips. When he finally pulled away, he licked his lips. “Cherry, my favorite.” He smirked.

“You’re the worst.” You laughed. “I love you too, champ. Go, I’ll see you soon.” You practically had to push him away from you so you could continue with more interviews.

“I’ll wait for you!” He yelled as he walked away.

Then Jenson made his way to you since you were going to interview him next. “Do I get one as well?” He teased.

Of course you and Sebastian celebrated, how could you not? He had made history. After the famous kiss, you were sure that you were going to get fired, but nothing ever happened. You did get a warning to not do it again, which Sebastian reminded the FIA that it was his idea not yours resulting in him getting a warning too.

Over the years, you were there when Sebastian won, when he lost, when he moved to Ferrari. You comforted him when he realized he would never win a championship with Ferrari.

During the summer break of the 2019 season, you and Sebastian decided to get married. It was an intimate wedding with only close friends and family attending. The night of your wedding, Sebastian promised you that he would take you anywhere for a while so you could spend your honeymoon. Of course being an F1 driver and a reporter, it didn’t go as planned as a global pandemic hit. You assured Sebastian that you weren’t mad, you had traveled almost everywhere with him anyway.

After the 2020 season ended, Sebastian was now with Aston Martin. He had only secured one podium finish with the team, but you were still more than happy for him.

One day after media day had finished for the 2021 French Grand Prix, you and Sebastian were in the Aston Martin motorhome having lunch. You were talking about a new piece of furniture you wanted when your phone vibrated. You checked it and saw a picture of your friend’s baby that she had sent you.

“Look, remember my friend Jane? That’s her baby girl, aw she’s so adorable.” You showed Sebastian a picture of the baby. “I need to tell her to stop sending pictures or I might get baby fever.”

“It wouldn’t be such a bad thing, right?” Sebastian asked. “We’ve been together for eleven years, married for two.“

“I did always dream of being a mother. It would be fun to play dress up with our daughter or play with you cars with our son. Can you imagine that? They would call me mom . . holy shit.”

Sebastian thought about it. He was in his mid thirties, he already won four titles, that was enough for him.

“I guess this plays into what I’m about to talk to you next. . . I didn’t renew a contract for 2023 with sky sports.” You said.

“Are you going somewhere else?” He questioned.

“No, I didn’t sign anything with anyone. I just thought that it’s time for me to step back. Give someone younger their moment.” You replied. You made the decision a while ago even before the 2021 season started.

“But you love your job.”

“I can’t stay here forever, Seb.”

All day Sebastian had thought about your words. He couldn’t stay in formula 1 forever either. The younger generation had to have a go too.

At the end of the 2021 season, Sebastian had told you the news that he would be retiring at the end of the next season like you. You were sure him retiring was the result of your conversation, but he assured you that even before that he had considered retirement.

“So when are you going to announce it?” You asked.

“Soon. I want to enjoy winter break with you first.”

You and Sebastian spent the holidays in your home in Switzerland surrounded by family and friends. You weren’t even sure how it happened since you and Sebastian spent most of your time at home, but both of you ended up testing positive for covid. You assumed you contracted the virus when you went out for groceries.

The 2022 season had started and you and your husband were stuck at home quarantining. It wasn’t bad, it was just a normal day except you had medicine and empty tissue boxes scattered around the floor.

“Do you need another blanket, liebe?” Sebastian asked you. He touched your forehead feeling it not as hot as before.

You two were in your bedroom watching the Bahrain Grand Prix. You didn’t expect this to be the start of your last season, but at least you were with Sebastian.

“I’m okay, I’m thirsty though.” You sat up as Sebastian walked to the kitchen to get you a glass of water. Once he returned, he saw how sad you looked as you watch the race.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m going to miss it, but I’m happy that I get to be home with you.” You smiled weakly at him.

“We can visit whenever we want, liebe, and then one day we can visit with the kids.” Sebastian replied. “Here, drink.” He handed you the glass of water.

Soon enough, you and Sebastian were good to return back to the paddock. You felt refreshed and ready to officially start the season. You did your interviews, greeted your colleagues and then made your way to the Aston Martin garage where you were going to watch the race.

By lap 24, Sebastian was out. It broke your heart to see it, it was his first race back and he didn’t get a chance to finish it. He arrived back to the garage in a Marshall’s scooter making it a funny moment despite his dnf. He looked for you first.

“Are you okay?” You asked, running your hand through his messy hair.

“Good.” Was all that he said.

After doing some post race interviews, Sebastian waited for you in the Aston Martin motorhome. When you arrived, you noticed a plate of fruit and berries on the table. “I figured you didn’t get a break all day so eat. I made sure to get plenty of pineapple and strawberries.” He moved the plate closer to you.

“Thanks, it wasn’t that stressful today. Hopefully the next race is better for us.” You said once you sat down and started to eat the fruit. “No cherries today?”

“You and your cherries. Not today, liebe.” Sebastian grabbed a strawberry from the plate.

Eventually it was time to announce to the world of motorsports and media that Sebastian and you were retiring. You announced it first with a lengthy post on instagram with pictures of when you first started to now, you even posted the famous kiss that Sebastian gave you in 2010.

You received lots of comments and messages from family, friends and colleagues. It was nice to feel loved by them. The next day, it was Sebastian’s turn to announce his retirement. It started with him making an Instagram account then posting a video.

“I hereby announce my retirement from formula one by the end of the 2022 season.”

Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 2022

You felt a giant wave of deja vu. Here you were back in Abu Dhabi only this time it would be the official last Grand Prix for you and Sebastian. You would still visit like Sebastian mentioned, but it wouldn’t feel the same.

You walked into the paddock with Sebastian holding your hand. You were greeted by photographers, fans that wanted to get pictures with Sebastian and several members of other teams that wanted to congratulate you and your husband on retirement.

First you went to the Aston Martin motorhome again since you were a bit tired. You sat at a table in the corner. For a couple of weeks now, you were keeping a secret from Sebastian. Your friend, Jane, was the only one who knew since she had gone through a similar experience.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sebastian asked as he noticed the tired look on you. “Want something to eat?”

“No I’m okay, I promise. It’s still too early for me to function I guess.” You dismissed it. “I’ll catch up with you later, I’m sure you have lots of people waiting for you.”

“They can wait. If you need me here then I’m staying, end of discussion.” He was about to sit down next to you, but you stopped him.

“Seb, no. I mean it, I am fine. Go.” You demanded.

Before he left, Sebastian placed a kiss on your lips. When he pulled away, he frowned. “Is that coconut? I thought you were going to wear the cherry one.”

“Change of plans.” You smiled. “Go, the team needs you.”

“Be careful, I’ll see you later.” He placed one more kiss on your lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You reply as you watch Sebastian walk out. “I can just imagine how protective he’s going to be about you, baby.” You spoke to yourself as you looked down to your stomach.

You found out you were pregnant when Jane was visiting you in Switzerland. You had gone out to eat for brunch at a nice little restaurant. Immediately after arriving, the smell of eggs made you run to the nearest bathroom and vomit in the toilet. Jane had ran after you making sure you were okay.

“Fuck . . It’s the smell.” You confirmed.

“Babe, when was the last time you had your period?”

Jane’s question made you think back to your vacation with Sebastian a couple months ago. You and Sebastian couldn’t keep your hands off of each other.

After taking a pregnancy test, it was confirmed that you were pregnant. You called your doctor to schedule an appointment. Sebastian wasn’t home so you didn’t have to worry about him walking in on you holding a pregnancy test. You weren’t sure how you were going to tell him, but you knew that he would be the happiest man on earth.

You were assigned to interview Sebastian immediately after the race while on the track. You were told that it would be a special moment for you two seeing as you were both leaving. Apparently Sebastian didn’t know this so that was another secret kept from him.

Sebastian stood beside you as he got ready. You held his helmet, your name printed on the side in a small font. “Remember when I won back in 2010?”

“No, remind me again?” You joked. “Of course I do. It was the night you kissed me in front of thousands of people on live tv.”

“It would be a shame if we didn’t recreate that.” He teased. “You know . . . for historical reasons.”

“I don’t want to get in trouble on my last day.”

“You’re no fun.” Seb rolled his eyes playfully. “Kiss for good luck?”

You then kissed the top of his helmet and shoved it in his hands. “Good luck.” You were about to leave, but Sebastian grabbed your hand and brought you back to him. “Fine.” You kissed him as if your life depended on it.

“I was hoping you changed your lipgloss to cherry.” Mumbled Sebastian after pulling away from you.

“You’ll live.” You gave him a chaste kiss then waited for him to put his balaclava. “I love you and I’m so fucking proud of you.”

Soon, the race was starting. Sebastian had started from P9. It was an exciting and emotional race for you and Sebastian. You didn’t want it to end, but you knew that Sebastian’s time in f1 was over.

By the end of the 58 laps, Sebastian had scored his last point in formula 1. You were content with the result even if he only scored one point. You were then directed to the track with a camera man and microphone in hand. As Sebastian did donuts on the track, you took your phone out to record his last moments. When he finished, you put away your phone. You didn’t even notice you were crying until a marshal gave you a tissue.

You thanked him and cleaned up as Sebastian made his way out the car to wave at the fans. Eventually Sebastian made his way towards you without his helmet and his racing suit hanging from his waist. You couldn’t start the interview without hugging him first so that’s what you did. Like in 2010, the camera filmed you and Sebastian as you embraced. You could hear the crowd cheering.

“You did so well. You made me cry.” You mumbled as Sebastian kissed your temple.

“You look pretty when you cry.” He let go of you since you needed to start the interview. He fixed your hair, tucking a strand behind your ear.

“Sebastian, wow, first off congratulations on your incredible career.” You began.

“I don’t know what to say. I feel a bit empty to be honest, it’s been a big weekend.” He looked at the crowd who were sad to see him go. He gave a speech that made you cry even more, which you blamed on the hormones. “I can say that you were always with me in the bad times and good times. Thank you for sticking with me.”

“Always.” You said, completely forgetting you were holding the microphone so the whole audience heard you.

Sebastian then thanked the fans for the messages and support he’s been receiving. It only made you want to cry even more so thankfully your interview was coming to an end.

“Congratulations, Seb. You deserve it.” You said and with that you and your husband hugged once more. “You’re coming home.” You sighed.

“You don’t sound too happy.” He teased.

“I am, trust me. That means you can help move some stuff around and redecorate the guest room.” You let go of Sebastian, but you still held his hand.

“Why would we need to redecorate the guest room?” He questioned.

“Because that’s our baby’s room.”

“Our baby? Really? You mean it?” His lips turned into a smile that he couldn’t wipe off. “When did you find out?”

“Weeks ago. I’m letting you know right now that if you ever make eggs around me, I will vomit so let’s not do that.” You laughed as Seb brought you in for a kiss.

Again, Jenson was cheering in the background like he did in 2010.

When Sebastian pulled away, he smirked. You had changed your lipgloss after all. “Cherry, my favorite.”

[tulip-room]

༊*·˚Wanna Be Your BFੈ✩‧₊˚

syn. general boyfriend hcs

featuring: Oikawa, Semi, Sakusa, Kita, Ushijima, Kageyama, Osamu, Kuroo

a/n: this was supposed to be out months ago but someone...not to name names (AVE) didn't finish their half because it was too fluffy. So I just finished her half today <3 (love you Ave even if you can't write fluff /lh).

Oikawa

Meet Cute or Not So Meet Cute?  - how you meet

Would WANT a meet cute

Does not get one lol

His alarm hadn’t gone off that morning and he was not leaving his hair unstyled so he was late (yikes)

To make it worse it had started raining, like full on downpour, puddles in the street

And poor you, you were just minding your business when he absolutely RUNS you over

Oikawa didn’t think today could get any worse, it seems he was proven wrong. Not only was he late for practice, it was also raining hard. He grabbed his jacket since he didn’t want to bother with an umbrella and raced out the door of his home. He stupidly thought that would be the worst of his problems. In his rush he didn’t see you walking calmly on the street. 

Unlike Oikawa, you had the day off work and were fully intending on enjoying it even if it was awful weather. Unfortunately for you, your day out gets cut short as a stranger runs into you and your clothes get drenched as you fall in a puddle with a splash. Your umbrella is a few feet away from you, the stranger reaches down and grabs it for you as he puts it over your head again. It’s obvious that he’s sorry if the redness and grimace on his face have anything to say for it. 

“I’m so sorry,” he says and for a minute your brain freezes as you look up at him. The man is gorgeous and his voice is even nicer. “Here, if you give me your phone I’ll put my number in and I’ll make it up to you, yeah?” Even though he was in a rush earlier he doesn’t like the idea of running away after he caused you to be drenched. 

You hand him your phone and introduce yourself. “Y/N L/N, and I guess maybe a coffee would be acceptable,” you shrug. He shakes his head with a small smile and hands your phone back to you. 

“Toru Oikawa, and a coffee? That’s all? At least let me get you a new outfit to make up for the one I destroyed.” 

Somehow, someway you find him charming

He does in fact get you a new outfit despite your protests that it’s not necessary 

He is more late to practice because of it but he finds himself not caring

So while it might not be a meet cute, it wasn’t that bad of a day

First Date  - your first date

I’m gonna be so fr right now

He’s basic

You’re going for coffee the day after he meets you

I hc that he doesn’t like the big coffee chains, you know just cause

He takes you to a cozy coffee shop, he takes you to a local place

VIBES??? IMMACULATE. Literally everyone knows everyone and they’re already making his drink when he walks in

First Kiss - your first kiss

It’s after your third date before he even asks

He’s been thinking about it since he accidentally knocked you over (yes the other seijoh boys mocked him and continue to mock him for it)

He walks you to your door and does that cliche thing where you guys just hold hands and look at each other

You say you should probably go inside and he’s like “Can I kiss you?” 

You make him ask again before smiling and kissing him

He’s legit frozen after you walk inside and act like you didn’t just turn his world upside down

Jealous? - how they act when they’re jealous and if it’s easy for them to get jealous

Gets jealous so easy omg

The moment he catches a whiff of jealousy he’s attached to you

Full on arms around your waist and chin on your shoulder

Loudly introduces himself as your boyfriend 

When you get home he gets all pouty and demands that you pay attention to him

Cute Things They Do - just small things they do that are endearing

Before he serves he has to find you in the crowd and see your smile because it “Clears his head”

Random gifts, not even like expensive ones all the time

Could literally be a rock he thought you would like or a flower he saw in the yard

Food fights when you try baking together. Like flour gets everywhere

You guys clean up together though which ends in a water fight

Puts sunscreen on you without you asking, like you guys leave the house and he has to stop you and be like “Hold on.” And just sprays it on your face and stuff, gives you a kiss after. (this is added here because I love him and I’m still reeling from an awful sunburn because my friend did in fact not put sunscreen on my back)

Rotating lockscreen but it’s always a photo of you

Either by yourself or the two of you together

Rambles about you to anyone who will listen

Semi

Meet Cute or Not So Meet Cute?  - how you meet

MEET CUTE-ish

It happens after he performs for the night 

He just kinda wanders the bar he was playing at and when you come up to him telling him about how much you loved his song? 

He’s gone, whipped for you

So while you’re maybe a little more drunk than you should be he asks you to dance

Leaves with a new number in his phone and a smile on his face after he orders an uber for you

Semi wipes his face with a towel to get rid of the sweat from performing under the bright lights. He walks over to the bar to grab a drink, that’s when he catches a glimpse of probably the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. They’re smiling and dancing without a care in the world, the almost empty drink in their hand probably responsible. 

You set your drink on the table and that’s when you meet eyes with the cute musician that was performing earlier. Your friends tease you trying to push you towards him to get his number. And you do. You finish off your drink and head over to the man. “Wanna dance?” You all but yell over the loud atmosphere of the club. He nods with a smile and takes your hand. 

The two of you don’t talk, just dance, it’d be hard to hear over the crowd's cheers anyway. However, you both leave with a new number in your phones and wide smiles on your faces. 

“Text me when you get home, yeah?” Semi, you’ve learned, says as he leans on the door of the uber after making sure you get in. 

“Only if you text me when you get home,” you slur out. You were going to regret how much you drank in the morning but you supposed sober you would thank drunk you. Semi lets out a small laugh as he ruffles your hair and closes the door. 

First Date  - your first date

After a few weeks of texting each other you both have a free moment in your schedules

You had offhandedly mentioned wanting to play guitar, his eyes light up with an idea

Enter Semi proposing he teaches you how to play something, cause ya know…it’s a lot cheaper and it’ll be so much easier to learn with someone you already know

At the start he’s actual about it, has a chair set up across from him in his living room

Because you’re just not able to get one chord right though, he immediately asks if he can show you

You think he’ll take the guitar and show you. Wrong. He pats the couch and you sit in his lap as he puts his hands over yours and helps you press down on the right chords

First Kiss - your first kiss

He moves quick lol

It’s the same day as your first date

He makes dinner for the both of you after the whole guitar fiasco 

You kiss his cheek as a thank you

He teases you by being like “That’s all? Don’t you think I deserve more than a kiss on the cheek?” you know, not expecting you to actually do it

Another flustered boy after you kiss him 

Asks for another 

Jealous? - how they act when they’re jealous and if it’s easy for them to get jealous

Another one who gets jealous so easily

When someone tries to hit on you though he kind of just chuckles and laughs it off

He makes subtle insults until they get the hint to leave you alone lol

I don’t think he would be as pouty when you got home though, only a little and he would be holding you reminding you how much he loves you

Cute Things They Do - just small things they do that are endearing

Saves you a spot in the front row at all the shows you’re able to go to

When he makes a new album he dedicates a song to you that’s literally just your name and is all the things he loves about you

He lets you put your feet between his legs to warm them up 

When you hold hands he puts your hands in his jacket pocket so there’s less chance of you being separated

Impromptu serenading, just randomly starts singing to you

Wakes you up by pressing kisses all over your face

Does the “Y/N Loves me, they love me not” thing on flowers when he’s bored but gets so excited when it lands on the loves me. When it lands on love me not you have to kiss him and tell him not to listen to the stupid flower

Learns how to play your favorite songs and surprises you with them

Sakusa

Meet Cute or Not So Meet Cute? - how you meet

Not a Meet Cute but it’s not his fault

Really he only agreed because Atsumu said he would pay (yes, he lost a bet. Yes, Sakusa is there to collect his winnings and gloat)

He knew one day Atsumu exaggeratedly talking with his hands would lead to trouble

He was right

Here you come walking past the table in a nice white outfit and then suddenly there’s soda all over your pants

Atsumu is very sorry but Sakusa is more embarrassed, you? You laugh it off and say you were leaving anyways and it’ll wash right out

Today was, for all other purposes, a good day. Atsumu had made a foolish bet with Sakusa about who could score more service aces in a game. Sakusa won, by one which Atsumu definitely pouted about, which is why they were now sitting at Onigiri Miya. The loser had to buy the winner dinner, Sakusa really should’ve seen this accident coming from a mile away. Atsumu had lightly grazed his glass a few times while talking, very close to knocking it over more than once. And here comes a person dressed in all white.

One minute you’re saying goodbye to your friends and the next you’re covered in a drink. Both of the men at the table start rattling off apologies but you just laugh. “It’s fine, I was leaving anyway.” You wave them off.

“Still, I’m very sorry for his stupidity. I would say he’s not usually like this but I don't enjoy lying.” Sakusa cracks a small joke and is very pleased when you let out your own small laugh. He grabs his jacket from the chair beside him and hands it to you. “Here, use this to hide the stain.” 

After gratefully taking the jacket you give the man your number. “So you can get this back.” You wave goodbye to him and leave. Atsumu takes this perfect opportunity to tease Sakusa about giving his jacket to a stranger. To which Sakusa tells him to shut up.

First Date - your first date

I also want to say he would be a coffee dude but- I think he would be nicer about it

He takes you to a nice dinner

This isn’t your first time hanging out by any means, you two have definitely been talking for at least a month before he asks you out

He thought you were funny and before long got a little crush (just a little one/j)

First Kiss - your first kiss

After a game

The team had been teasing him not believing he actually got a partner so he was a bit frustrated

When he comes out of the locker room all showered and changed and sees you in your Sakusa fan gear he loses it

He just lifts your chin up and kisses you

A very simple “Cute.” as he grabs your hand and the two of you leave

Jealous? - how they act when they’re jealous and if it’s easy for them to get jealous

Another one to laugh and insult the person who’s making them jealous

He grabs your hand and just stares at them effectively scaring them off

When he doesn’t hold your hand he just kind of looms behind you which usually does the job

If they don’t get the hint he will just start pulling you away with like a “I’m their boyfriend, go be pathetic somewhere else.”

Cute Things They Do - just small things they do that are endearing

While I don’t think he’s big on PDA I think there are exceptions to the rule

I think when he’s anxious he holds your hand and gives it three squeezes to say he loves you

After games he always gives you a kiss

Didn’t understand the hype around having his partner in his clothes until you wear one of his jerseys to a game and all he can think about is how cute you look in it

KING of forehead kisses

Locks your pinkies together sometimes instead of holding your hand

Still makes you pinky promise when you guys make a deal or you promise something

Writes you little notes sometimes and puts them in the pocket of your work pants or jacket

Instead of goodbye kisses he gives you hello kisses when he gets home from practice or you get home from work

Whichever comes first

Kita

Meet Cute or Not So Meet Cute?  - how you meet

This man is literally perfect so yes

He deserves a meet cute as a treat (to me)

He just so happens to be in the same aisle as you and sees you struggling to get the last detergent from the top shelf

So being the perfect gentleman he is he gets it down for you

Luckily for both of you it’s not the last time you see him

During his bi-weekly trips to deliver rice to Onigiri Miya he sees you, helping Osamu 

You’re helping him with the deliveries since you’re new and that’s when you and Kita exchange numbers

Later he texts you and asks if you would like to go on a date with him <3 

Kita wasn’t meaning to go to the store today but he hadn’t realized he was out of detergent until he was about to go do laundry. So, here he was. He was trying to find his very specific brand of detergent, they had moved it when they last restocked much to his annoyance. That’s when he caught sight of a person glaring at a detergent on the top shelf. He went over and asked if he could help.

“Actually, if you could get that detergent down for me please. I swear it’s the only one that doesn’t make me break out.” You smile at the kind stranger. He smiles back and hands the detergent to you, grabbing one of his own. 

“I know what you mean, I think it’s because this is the only detergent my grandma used.” You both part ways thinking that would be the last you saw of each other. You were both pleasantly surprised when he showed up at your new job with his bi-weekly delivery. 

“Hey stranger,” you greet him and take the bag of rice from him.

“You two know each other?” Osamu asks.

“He was my hero and got laundry detergent down for me when I couldn’t reach it.” 

“Well, I guess you guys will see more of each other then. This is Kita, he was my captain from back when I played volleyball. He comes by to deliver rice every other week.” Osamu explains and shows you how to check off the sheet. He leaves to the front to take orders trusting Kita to help you move the remaining bags inside. 

“So, I’m Kita Shinsuke.” He holds out his hand.

“Y/N L/N,” you respond, holding out your own hand to shake. “I thought you were cute at the market so I guess it’s fate I saw you again. Sorry if this is bold but, can I get your number?”

“Of course, it’s funny you say that. I was just about to ask for your’s.” 

First Date - your first date

He would take you to a farmer’s market

Now, I know what you’re all going to say “Just because he’s a farmer doesn’t-” and let me stop you right there.

This is completely self-indulgent, I love farmer’s markets and like the outfits for summer go hard okay. He’s a man who actually knows what a sundress is and LIVES for seeing you in one

Also, getting strawberries or other food and asking the other if they want some only to just feed it to them instead of handing them the fork or berry.

First Kiss - your first kiss

You’ve been dating for a few months (he asked you out with flowers and a nice dinner after your 6th date)

You would have to initiate because I think he would be scared of overstepping

You fr get distracted by his lips whenever he talks

You guys go to each other’s houses when you’re free and want company

So as you’re about to leave, it’s only like 8 but you both have an early day, you ask

It’s after he puts your coat on you (fr living my dream) you nervously ask him for a kiss

This smug man just smiles with a chuckle and kisses you then pats your head and tells you that you should get home and to be safe

You know like he didn’t just smirk before kissing you 

Jealous? - how they act when they’re jealous and if it’s easy for them to get jealous

Most chill out of them

Literally just grabs your hand and introduces himself as your boyfriend

He’s a little insecure but when you look at him he is immediately fine again

Even makes a little joke about the situation like “You’re so pretty I don’t blame them.”

Cute Things They Do - just small things they do that are endearing

Sometimes he slips up and calls you his wife/husband and gets so red after

When you lay on him his hands make shapes on your back and he has you guess what he’s making

He sets his alarm for five minutes earlier than he needs to get up so he can hold you and look at you before he gets up

Never, and I do mean never leaves without kissing you goodbye. Even when he has to get up at like 4 for work, you’re still getting a kiss and getting tucked in

Likes to make you lunch and brings it to you

I think he stress bakes (me fr) so your house is always filled with baked goods (the twins highly appreciate you bringing them)

For team reunions they jokingly call you their parents

Orders for you, not in like a rude way obv but it just seems natural for him to (which means he memorizes your order at every restaurant/ coffee shop you guys go to)

Ushijima (Ave wrote the hcs for Ushi and Ushi only lol) @hiraethwa

Meet Cute or Not So Meet Cute?  - how you meet

Not so meet cute :’)

You literally run into him in the men’s bathroom at a bar after being ditched by your friend who got back with their toxic ex despite all the advice you gave them

Ended up talking his ear off about it

Listens to you intently, pointing out red flags about this guy

He didn’t mind though

Asks you out on a date at the end of the night

You would joke that your first date was at the shitty bar bonding over your friend’s toxic partners

Ushijima was washing his hands and about to dry them off when you walked into the bathroom. “This is the men’s restroom,” he says so simply. 

“Oh my…I’m so sorry. My friend literally ditched me and I think I’m a little too drunk to comprehend what’s going on right now. She got back with her ex despite me telling her how bad of an idea it was.” You start rambling. He nods his head as he dries his hand.

“Let’s go sit down.” He opens the door and leads you to a table where you continue to talk to him about the man in question.

“He always makes her pay for everything, I know this seems like a small thing but he drives off before he gets inside of her house. Like on their last date before they broke up he spent the whole time scrolling his phone and liking photos of models.”

“Sounds like he’s a real piece of work. I think it’s normal practice that whoever asks the person on the date is the one who pays. And while it may be small I believe it’s important to wait until someone is inside of their home safely before pulling away. And does that not count as cheating?” He pours some water into a cup and slides it to you. You mutter a small ‘thank you’ and drink some.

“In my head it counts as cheating. But apparently she thinks it’s fine. It just frustrates me because there’s this beautiful goddess of a woman and she’s dating…calling him a rat would be rude to rats.” He cracks a small smile at the joke.

When the night comes to an end you’re a little more sober but he still orders a cab for you. “Would you like to accompany me on a date?” 

“You mean this wasn’t a date?” You joke.

First Date  - your first date

Believes that enjoyment >> splurging on your first date

Brings you to a nice sushi restaurant that he has been to (he remembers you mentioned your obsession with sushi, yes)

“Why are you crying?” 

“This sake nigiri is too good, is it even real?” you hiccup, while savoring the taste of the salmon melting in your mouth

“I’m glad you like it.” 

Actively engages in conversation with you ^.^

THIS MAN WOULD WIPE OFF THE TINY DROPLET OF SHOYU ON THE CORNER OF YOUR LIPS

First Kiss - your first kiss

Despite what people may say about him, he is a romantic

He has read romance manga/novel or watched romance series (recommended by his best friend, of course)

It would happen on the second date after he drives you home

Literally happens like the k-dramas, I’m not even kidding 

Man would open your door, lean over you and unbuckle your seatbelt, offer you his hand to get out of the car (he is a gentleman through and through, what can i say??)

You stop at the front of your house/apartment, smiling up at Ushijima, eyes falling to his lips, thanking him for the great date he took you on

He just tucks the stubborn little fringe you have behind your ear, tips your chin up towards him and leaves a kiss on your lips

Bids you good night and makes sure you get into your house/apartment complex safely before leaving

Jealous? - how they act when they’re jealous and if it’s easy for them to get jealous

This man is so confident (in himself and your love for him)

He is unfazed by anyone trying to flirt with you

Would totally come over and put his hand on your waist

Just to mark his territory

(He is not jealous, guys)

Just territorial :)

Cute Things They Do - just small things they do that are endearing

Walks in front of you in crowds because his towering frame just makes the crowd separate for him, and also because he doesn’t want you to be squished by people

Would buy you your favorite dessert from the pastry shop on his way home from practice

Makes sure that you are sleeping well, have a glass of water next to you before bed

Obsessed with your hands, he would be holding them whenever he can. Both of you need to write for some reason? He can still hold your hand because he’s left handed, and you’re right-handed.

Would always finish the bento you pack for him because it’s filled with your love

Kisses you goodbye, every single time!! Even if you’re asleep, he would press a kiss to your forehead, careful to not disturb your sleep

Kageyama

Meet Cute or Not So Meet Cute?  - how you meet

Let’s be honest he doesn’t really go many places 

You meet him when he’s going on a run in the park and you fell over bcs you sprained your ankle

He helps you over to the bench and exchange numbers so he can’t check in on you

He def forgets he did this so when you interview him at his next game both of you get surprised 

Kageyama likes his routine of running before practice every morning. It’s a nice way to wake up because he’s not the most….happy person in the morning. It takes him a few laps of the park by his apartment before he sees you on the ground holding your ankle. He stops immediately and crouches down next to you. “Are you okay?”

“Does it look like I’m okay?” You snap as you hold your swelling ankle. “Sorry. It just hurts.” He nods in understanding and asks you to remove your hand so he can look at your ankle. He does a test to make sure it’s not broken and then helps you over to the bench. “Thank you. I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier.”

“It’s fine. Let me help you to the hospital.”

“It’s just a sprain, it's fine. I just need to go home and ice it.” He nods and pulls out his phone.

“Put your address in. I would like to make sure you reach home safely.” You nod and type your address into the phone. He helps you all the way home and exchanges numbers so he can make sure you’re okay later. 

Needless to say he forgets about the exchange until he sees you walking towards him after one of his matches. “How’s your ankle?”

“Fine now. So, a volleyball star huh? I thought I recognized you somewhere.” The interview goes well, and he makes sure to text you when he gets home and asks to go on a date the following Saturday. 

First Date  - your first date

Simple guy

Movies

Dinner beforehand 

Not a horror movie though, probably takes you to a romcom or smth and listens intently when you make fun of it the whole time

The minute goi try to get your card out to pay for anything he looks so confused omg

First Kiss - your first kiss

Nervous nervous nervous

Both of you are balls of anxiety

You two bumps noses a lot 

Very quick and then you both kind of look away like “so…yeah.” 

Jealous? - how they act when they’re jealous and if it’s easy for them to get jealous

Gets jealous so easily 

Omfg…this boy. Will just sit there with the biggest fricken pour on his face and pretend like that’s not what’s going on

Crosses his arms and taps his foot and everything 

Maybe a little silent treatment…just a little

“No, why don’t you go back to talking with that person. Since they were so interesting.”

Like bro…shut up and let us hold your hand and kiss you smh 

Cute Things They Do - just small things they do that are endearing

Gets lost looking at your face and when you question him about it he just goes “You’re pretty.” Like without so much as a flash of red across his face 

If you’re about to cross the road he grabs your hand and pulls you back before you cross bcs you don’t look both ways (bad Y/N)

If you stay up waiting for him to get back from an away game he carries you to the bed when you inevitably fall asleep

Has a photo of you in his wallet and when asked goes “Them? That’s my partner.” 

Not the biggest yapper but taps about you in interviews when given the chance

Osamu

Meet Cute or Not So Meet Cute?  - how you meet

MEET CUTE MEET CUTE MEET CUTE. 

Sorry- couldn’t help myself

He’s a vendor at a food festival you went to and you come back a solid THREE times to his booth

“Gonna see you again before I close? Startin to think you’re only here for me.” With the most teasing look on his face

You do come back before close and he writes a note for you on your receipt

Come visit the actual shop sometime and maybe I’ll give you my number -Osamu

Osamu almost laughs when he sees your face at his booth for the second time that night. “Couldn’t get enough?”

“Never.” You smile and order more food. He happily packs it up for you and makes small talk while someone else takes the orders. 

“Gonna see you again before I close? I’m startin’ to think you’re only here for me.” 

“And if I am?” You ask and take the bag from his hands. He stands there a little starstruck for a minute with a small smile on his face before he shakes his head and gets back to work.

You do end up coming back right as he’s about to close. “Mysterious customer. Lovely to have you again.”

“Lovely to see you again too.”

“Here for the food or me this time?”

“Maybe a little bit of both.” You smile and you hand him your card as he rings up an order for you to try. You’re the last person in line so he talks to you while he makes your food. 

“Well, I can’t say I’m disappointed.” He smiles and wraps your Onigiri up. He quickly writes something on your receipt before closing the window with a wink. 

‘Come visit the actual shop sometime and I’ll give you my number’ -Osamu

First Date  - your first date

Takes you to another street food festival. 

Like your favorite thing to do, the two of you just walk around and talk 

He will in fact not let you pay for anything (his poor wallet)

Tries to hold your hand when the two of you aren’t eating 

Gets a little upset he didn’t think to bring chairs or a blanket for you to sit down and listen to the live music so he runs to the store and gets a blanket

Proceeds to buy more food and the two of you sit and listen to the music while you eat 

Overall so soft <333 

First Kiss - your first kiss

You’re legit just leaving the store

Like you came in to talk to him during rush hour because you had a day off and you tell him you have to leave after he closes up

He just leans over and presses a kiss to your lips so casually and says bye and text him when you get home safe

You’re just like “bro wtf?” And make him kiss you again before you leave

He proceeds to go home and giggle about it to himself in his kitchen as he makes dinner 

Jealous? - how they act when they’re jealous and if it’s easy for them to get jealous

Yes.

Point blank. Jealous jealous man

Def silent treatment. Like petty man

“Osamu? You okay?” 

Turns away and ignores you 

Will make you kiss him like fifty times before he finally “forgives” you

You two talk about it later bcs healthy communication or wtv

Cute Things They Do - just small things they do that are endearing

Makes food for you (idc if this is overused. He’s a chef. As a culinary person. He makes you food). 

Asks your family/friends about your favorite dishes so he can make them

Learns your skincare routine and when you’re too tired does it for you and tucks you in

If it’s raining he’ll put his jacket over your head and run to the car with you 

If you’re feeling sad and won’t talk to him about it he kisses your face until you smile 

If you two have a silly fight he’ll put on sad breakup songs until you come talk to him

Kuroo

Meet Cute or Not So Meet Cute?  - how you meet

You meet him bcs he needs a fitting for a new suit

Neither of you get particularly flustered bcs you’re not used to this but he does think you’re very pretty

Refuses to ask you out at work bcs that’s just…ick. Like you’re fr stuck there so he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable 

You ask him out “I’m sorry, this is so unprofessional of me. Would you maybe want to go on a date sometime?”

So happy. Like the minute you’re out of sight he fist bumps the air and smiles so happily (yes ppl do look at him for a minute before continuing on with his day and no he does not feel shame about it).

Kuroo goes every few months to get a suit fitted. He has a vast collection now because of work but he likes to add new ones to his rotation. When you’re the one fitting his suit he notes how pretty you are but doesn’t mention anything. You are at work after all. 

The appointment goes by like all the other ones he’s been too. When you ring him out though he can see your eyes dart around the store. “I’m sorry, this is so unprofessional of me. Would you maybe like to go out sometime?” 

A wide smile breaks out across his face and he nods his head and tries to contain his excitement. “Yeah. I would love that. I was actually going to ask you but I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable at work.” 

“Oh…most people wouldn’t have cared. That was nice.” You smile at him and hand him his receipt. “See you again when you come back for the suit then.”

“See ya.” He tries to act cool and nonchalant but when he reaches outside he throws his hand in the air with a smile. He gets some head turns but he doesn’t care. Little does he know you can still see him from the counter and are hiding a laugh behind your hand. 

First Date  - your first date

Realized he left without your number so when he comes back to pick up the suit asks if you want to go out that night (you agree bcs why not be spontaneous)

Doesn’t have any reservations anywhere so the two of you run around the city

You do like claw machines and eat from food trucks and stuff in your nice work clothes

Def gets upset when he can’t win any of the claw machine games

So you get him a plushie 

First Kiss - your first kiss

Ice cream (thank you Ave for not expanding on this in the slightest…I’m taking creative liberties)

You get some ice cream on your lip and he kisses it away

Realizes what he did and tries to play it off as “no big deal” but gets too flustered for that smh

“Kiss me properly if you’re going to kiss me.”

So you roll your eyes and kiss him

Jealous? - how they act when they’re jealous and if it’s easy for them to get jealous

I know we like to joke but I think he’s pretty chill

Just makes fun of the guy cause I mean…Kuroo is tall, handsome, successful, wealthy, fit. Like what’s this guy got?

Like comes up behind you and laughs at his attempts at flirting “Did you really expect to get them with that lame line?” 

“What are you like 5’ 7? And that’s me being generous.” 

“Aww that’s cute. Where did you get it? I think my grandma wanted something like it.”

LOWKEY TOXIC ASF.

Cute Things They Do - just small things they do that are endearing

Puts his hand over the corners of things when you bend down so you don’t hit your head

Does your hair every morning 

Kisses your wedding ring before he leaves “just a reminder that this is real. That you’re really mine.”

Only goes to you to get his suits fitted

Tries to match his tie to your outfit and his watch to your jewelry 

Has a plushie collection and gives you his favorite one 

On a similar note you guys get a Build A Bear together and make posts like it’s your child

taglist (open, send an ask): @akaakeis @hiraethwa

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[cupcaketeddybehr]

pinky promises (toji x reader)

toji x gn!reader

genre: hurt/comfort

word count: 1.1k

blurb!: toji comes home late from work again. you want a break, but you don't know that he's been working overtime to spoil you.

a/n: wow i forgot how much i love writing. cranking out fics is so fun hehehe <3 thank you so much for stopping by! i hope my blog brings you comfort and happiness!

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You lie awake, staring at the ceiling, waiting for Toji to come home. He was supposed to be home hours ago, and while this is the thousandth time this has happened, you can’t help but worry. 

Every time your phone chimes, you glance at the screen, hoping it’s him, but it never is. Your sweet texts, “Toji, I made your favorite for lunch!” and “When are you coming home? I miss you!” remain unanswered. His cold lunch (which could now be considered a midnight meal) sits on the counter untouched. Yours sits right next to his as you cling to the hope that you’ll be able to eat together at least once this week. 

When the traffic outside almost finishes lulling you to sleep, you hear the lock click in the living room. A bag drops, and the shuffling of feet ensues.

“Toji?” You call into the emptiness. 

He walks into your room slowly and sits on your bed. “I’m so sorry, doll.” He apologizes. He kisses your forehead as he continues profusely apologizing.

“Toji, you’re always late.” You say, refusing to look at him.

He sighs, “I know doll. I’m sorry. They needed me to work overtime today.”

You turn away from him. “You always say that.”

“I know. I-” 

You pull the blanket over your head, done with his excuses. “It’s like you don’t love me anymore.” You whisper. 

He stares at how the blanket engulfs your petite frame, heart breaking as he wills tears not to fall from his eyes. He hasn’t cried in years. “Of course I love you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Why would you even say that?” 

“It doesn’t seem like it.” You peek your head out of the blanket to look at him through glassy eyes. “If you’re cheating on me, you can just tell me.” 

“Doll, do you not trust me? You’re the love of my life.” He says, reaching over to rub your back over the blanket. “I would end the world for you.”

“I don’t know, Toji. All I do every day is wait for you and cook your favorite meals in case you come home on time. But you never do.” You look at him and start to sob, refusing to believe that you’re saying the next few words that come out of your mouth. “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“No, wait, don’t say that.” He says. “Please.” He adds.

“Toji, I don’t see this changing. You apologize to me every day you come late, but nothing ever changes.”

“No, please. Just give me one more chance. Just one more. I promise I’ll change.” 

“I just want to be alone right now.” You choke out through your tears. 

You don’t look at him as he leaves; you couldn’t even if you wanted to. Tears are blurring your vision. You’ve never cried this much in your life. 

After a while, your tears turn into sniffles. You lie awake the entire night, unable to sleep.

In the other room, Toji remains hunched over, his head in his hands. He raises his head ever so often to pull at the skin on his fingers. How could he be so careless?  

An hour passes when you hear the door squeak open. You beg your tears to stop where they are, but they come down anyway. How could he just leave like that? He would give up on the three years you spent together just like that? 

Your phone dings, but you ignore it. He’s probably ending things. You should be happy. This is what you wanted, right?

Eventually, you cry yourself to sleep.

The next morning, you wake up to the smell of pancakes, your favorite. Didn’t Toji leave? And even if he didn’t, shouldn’t he be at work by now?

As you move to open the door, it swings open. You walk straight into a plate of pancakes and a rock-hard chest. Syrup drips from your hair. 

Toji stands in front of you, trying not to laugh at the sight in front of him. 

“‘s not funny, ‘ji.” You make eye contact with him once. He looks at you with adoration and a million apologies in his eyes. You start to cry. “Toji, please stop forgetting about me.”

He puts the plate down on the counter and pulls you into his chest. “I’m so sorry, doll. I’ll be better, I promise. Please don’t leave. I don’t know how to do life without you.” He whispers into your ear. “You’re everything to me. I would set the world on fire if it meant keeping you in my life.”

The sentiment is weird, but you get it. You get him, and he gets you. 

After a few moments pass, he tries to pull away. You cling to him, refusing to take your face out of his chest. “Just one second, doll. I have something for you.” He says. He takes your hand and leads you to the island in the middle of your kitchen. 

When you finally pull away from him, you see a giant basket in your favorite color. In it are all your favorite things. Your favorite snacks, drinks, a fuzzy blanket, fuzzy socks, three stuffed animals, and the new designer bag you’ve been talking about for ages.

You gasp. “Toji! Where did you get the money to buy this?” You know your boyfriend enough to know he can’t even afford the basket all his gifts are placed in. 

“I worked overtime.” 

You immediately hug him. “Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask between sniffles. “Thank you so much.”

“It was a surprise.” He says. “I’ve been saving up for a really long time.” He pets your hair as he basks in your arms a bit longer. “I’m sorry for neglecting you, though. I didn’t go about this in the right way.” He admits while rubbing the back of his neck.

You drag him to the couch and sit on his lap. “I’m sorry that I made you think I wanted to break up.” 

“I deserved that. I was an asshole. I’m sorry for not responding to your texts.” He takes the pancake plate off of the counter and begins feeding you pieces of pancake. “I promise we’ll spend more time together, yeah?”

You nod, clinging to his wrist, scared that he’ll leave again. “Pinky promise me.”

After years of being with you, he knows better than to start an argument about the silliness of pinky promises. “Of course, doll.” 

Your fingers interlock, and you feel his love and devotion in the weight of his pinky finger. 

“I love you, ’ji”

He kisses you all over your face. “I love you more.”

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[faithisyours]

Can’t Imagine Losing You

Azriel x Fem!reader

Summary: Azriel’s been acting moody lately, and you've had enough.

Warnings: ANGST! but also fluff. Smut, smut, SMUT! possessive Az, whimpering whiny Az, sort of a switch dynamic between the two, P in V, coming inside, oral both receiving, some ass stuff, i think that's it, not proof read

Word Count: 4.5k

A/N: Hey y’all! Sorry for being MIA. Here’s another fic as a peace offering. I wanted to try some angst so hopefully I did it right. This whole thing took so many turns. Hope it's comprehensible. If you have any requests for fics you'd like me to write, I'm all ears (i need ideas, please I’m begging). As always, minors go away. Majors, enjoy!

“I have some work I need to do at the House of Wind today. It shouldn't take long.”

You were sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast, enjoying the warm summer breeze coming in through the open window when Azriel informed you he had to leave. You were disappointed, but not at all surprised. It seemed like there was always something to do, some report needing finished or some training schedule needing tweaked. And it was always your mate who needed to do it, especially on his off days, it seemed.

“Can you stay for breakfast at least?” you asked, infusing your words with hope to mask the disappointment.

“I’m sorry, my love, I can’t. I’ll see you later.” He pressed a swift kiss to the top of your head before practically running out the door. There was no, “I’ll make it up to you later,” or, “How about breakfast tomorrow?” or even an, “I love you,” before he had disappeared.

Instances like this had been happening more frequently over the past couple years, but recently it had gotten out of hand for you. You had been mated to Azriel for over a century at this point, and had known each other far longer than that. You originally assumed that these instances were caused by Azriel being distracted by his work. Being the spymaster for the Night Court was a lot to manage. But more recently you had begun to wonder if the spark had dimmed for Azriel. If he had started to feel differently than he had when you two were first mated.

You decided that tonight you would bring up your concerns with him. You prayed to the Mother it was only because he was so busy and not because he had begun to feel differently about being mated to you. For now, though, you finished your breakfast, put away the extra food you had made for Azriel, and got ready for your day.

Since Azriel wasn’t going to be home until later, you figured you could get some errands done while he was away. Azriel had been running low on his sleep tonic for a while now, so you decided to stop by your favorite apothecary and pick him up another one. While you were out, you figured you could stop by the market and get some more wine to replenish the stash you and the other ladies of the Inner Circle had drained not too long ago. You also picked up some ingredients you would need for dinner tonight.

It was nearing noon when you decided to head back home, but as you were making your way back, you passed the shop you had gotten your favorite lingerie set from. It couldn’t hurt, you thought, to go in and look around. It had been a while since you got a new set, and you thought you should treat yourself. If you found something you liked, of course. And as soon as you walked in, a rich purple satin set caught your attention. It was perfect; simple yet sexy, and looked rather comfortable as well. It had criss-cross straps that circled around the back and waist, to connect to the bottoms, which were detailed with black lace on the hips. You didn’t have a purple set yet, and you thought maybe Azriel would like it too. Maybe if things went well tonight you would let him see it.

You made your way home, purchases in hand, including that satin set, and hoped by the time you got there that Azriel would be home. But he wasn’t. You entered an empty home, warm yet breezy from the window you had left open, and started unloading your purchases. You put the wine on the rack, the ingredients for dinner on the kitchen table, and Azriel’s sleep tonic on his bedside table. Lastly, you fished that purple satin set out of its bag and tried it on.

You didn’t bother trying it on in the store because you already knew your measurements and didn’t want to bother anyone anyway. Just like you suspected, it was incredibly comfortable, and it fit you like a glove. Exhaustion washed over you then, even though it was a little past noon. Going out to run errands always seemed to suck the energy right out of you.

You didn’t bother taking off the set, but instead rifled through Az’s shirt drawer to find your favorite one of his, a flowy black cotton button down, and threw it on. Even though Az wasn’t here right now, you still wanted to feel close to him, hence the shirt. You curled yourself up on his side of the bed, enveloped in the comfort of his scent, and closed your eyes. The last thought you had before falling asleep was hoping this whole thing was a misunderstanding.

–

You awoke to the sound of a door slamming. You sat up, wiped the sleep from your eyes, and made your way towards the kitchen, the most likely source of the noise. You saw Azriel, leaning over the kitchen sink looking out the window. You glanced at the clock above the hearth, noting you had been asleep for about 4 hours.

“Hey Az,” you said groggily, “Sorry I didn’t meet you at the door, I was taking a nap. Did you just get home?” you asked, walking closer to him. He gave you a grunt in response. You noticed his shadows swirling agitatedly around him, making you stop in your tracks. “Az, are you okay? Did something happen?” A million thoughts cycled through your head in seconds. Did something happen at work? Are Cassian and Rhys okay? Is he mad at you? Did you forget something he asked you to get at the market?

“I’m fine. I don’t want to talk about it.” His answers were clipped, monotone. “I'll be in our room.” he pushed off from the sink and brushed right past you, not even bothering to look you in the eye, give you a kiss, or look even the slightest bit apologetic for his attitude.

“I got you more sleeping tonic. It’s on your bedside table,” you informed him. You got a closing bedroom door in response.

You had a lot of patience. You prided yourself on the amount of patience you had. But it was warring paper thin for your mate. You decided to make dinner to take your mind off it, and to hopefully give him time to calm down. It’s not like he’d never been moody before, but this was a little much. He was starting to act like a teenage son, not your mate.

–

Thirty minutes later dinner was done and on the table. You went over to your bedroom door, still closed, and knocked, then poked your head in.

“Dinner is done. I made one of your favorites,” you informed Azriel, who was just walking out of the connected bathing room when you had poked your head in. He had changed into something more comfortable since the last time you saw him.

“Be right out,” he responded, glancing at you as he said it.

You walked back out to the kitchen table and began to load up both your plates with food. Azriel joined you just as you sat down. He immediately started eating, seemingly not concerned that the food was still hot enough to burn his mouth. And it looked like you would be carrying the conversation this evening.

“Was everything alright at the House of Wind today?” you pried, hoping the question came off as inconspicuous.

“Everything is fine. It’s handled now,” he offered, still shoveling food into his mouth.

“Alright. Good. I just wanted to -”

He cut you off. “Can we just eat in silence please? It's been a long day.” The words were stern, but his tone was soft, tired. You paused at his words, letting them sink in. Maybe this was just a bad day for him. Maybe he would be better tomorrow. Maybe this conversation should wait, if he’s pretty tired already. But how long had this gone on? How long have you wanted to say something about it?

“No,” you said simply. He paused, a fork-full stopped midway between his plate and mouth. Finally, he looked at you. “No, we’re not going to sit in silence. I have something I want to talk about. And I realize you may have had a shitty day, but I also had a day. I did things I want to talk with you about. I’ve wanted to have a conversation with you since this morning. So, no, actually. I’m not going to sit here in silence. Okay?” You stayed staring into his hazel eyes until you got a nod, but you wanted his answer in words. So you kept gazing into those hazel eyes until you got one.

“Okay. Alright,” he said, lowering his fork and pushing away from the table slightly, keeping his eyes on you. “What did you want to talk about, Love?”

His use of that endearment almost makes you reconsider this conversation. Almost. “I wanted to talk about your workload. And how it’s affecting me. And your treatment of me.” He only nodded, encouraging you to continue. “I feel like your workload doesn’t leave time for us anymore. It seems like the amount of stuff you have to do on a daily basis is way more than it used to be. You barely get any time off, and even on your days off you still have to do something. Like today. And I want to know if that’s how you feel, too.” You gave him time to consider.

He cleared his throat. “I like to stay busy. You know that. I haven’t noticed an increase in my duties, but even if there has been, I’m not sure if there is anything I could do about it. Everyone’s plate is already full. I can talk to Rhys about allocating jobs, but I can’t make any promises.”

You nodded, if only to give you something to do. That was not the answer you wanted to hear, but you could work with it. You wanted to broach your next point, but you were scared he wouldn’t take it well. You took a deep breath. “This… this leads me into my next point. I feel like…I feel as though you haven't been treating me how I want to be treated recently. Like sometimes I get my mate Az, and other days I get Azriel the shadowsinger. Or I get moody, likes-to-slam-doors Az who can’t bother to answer his mate in full sentences because he's too pissed off at something he doesn’t even want to tell me, his mate, who he should be able to tell everything to, even if it “doesn’t concern me.”” Your voice had started to rise, but you couldn’t help it. You were angry. “And this was why I wanted to talk about your workload. It feels like you’re getting upset more because you have more to do, which in turn makes you unintentionally take it out on me. you regard me as a permanent fixture in this house, but I am not. I will leave if I am not treated the way I deserve. And Gods, Azriel, I hope that this is the only reason, that it is only because of you working too much, because if it’s something else, if it has to do with your feelings towards me changing, I don’t…I don’t even…” you trailed off, holding back a sob that had started climbing your throat.

Azriel was now standing, making his way over to you. He knelt down right in front of you, taking your hand in his, his eyes, full of worry and confusion, searched yours for answers. “Okay, alright, you’re right. I have been acting like a jerk to you recently. And I’m so sorry for that. Truly. Work has been a lot to deal with recently, but that’s no excuse. I'll talk to Rhys about getting more time off. So I can spend it with you, alright? But how could you think my feelings have changed? How could you even think that?” His look was incredulous.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, or rather, tried to. “We’ve been mated for a century. A lot can happen in that amount of time. I thought maybe…maybe the spark was dimming for you. Maybe you changed your mind. About me. About us. And if you did, that would be alright. I would live with that, if it made you happy.” You work your confession out between sobs. “I just…I guess I just got scared. I don't want to lose you.”

His eyes were still on yours, but the emotion in them had shifted. Now they were full of anger. Not anger for you, but rather anger at himself. How could he treat you like this? In a way that made you think he did not love you anymore. He had failed, he realized. He was failing you, your relationship, your trust in him. He had to fix this, had to try harder. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said with conviction, no room left for argument. “I love you. So much. More now than I did a century ago. Every day I love you more. I didn’t even think that was possible, but with you it is. You’re not getting rid of me even if you wanted to, okay? I’m staying, and I’m going to try harder, get more days off, spend them all with you. You’re the love of my life, ya? Nothing will change that.” He pulled you into a hug, kissed away your tears, and kept kissing you until your cheeks were dry.

He kissed you one more time, hard, on the cheek, then went back to his side of the table and sat down. He thanked you for dinner, asked about your day, what all you did, and in turn told you what had happened at the House of Wind. Apparently one of the Illarian camps had started some fights with another camp over space and resources. Rhys had thought it was taken care of, but there was another fight today, which resulted in Azriel having to go over there, break it up, and be the peacekeeper longer than he wanted. Hence him coming home late and in a pissy mood.

“You’re wearing my shirt,” he stated, cutting off your story of you in the market today. It wasn’t a conscious thought to cut you off. He had only just now realized you were wearing his shirt, and basically nothing else. He had been so distracted by what had happened today and you bringing up your concerns that he hadn’t even noticed. Possession coiled in his stomach like a serpent strangling its prey. Seeing you in his clothes, even though it was a rare occurrence, always made him hard. He couldn’t help it. Your strong, soft body wrapped in his shirt, the sleeves rolled up to your elbows, exposing all that lickable skin. It made his knees buckle.

“Is that okay?” you asked tentatively. He was looking at you now like a starved man, which you knew he wasn't, given the finished plate of food before him. You rarely wore his clothes, mainly because you swam in them due to how big they were on you. You guessed he was just surprised to see you in something of his, but that didn’t explain the heat in his gaze. “I put it on after I got home from running errands. I wanted to take a nap and I figured you weren’t using it so…” you explained, trailing off.

“You’ve been wearing my shirt all day. Only my shirt.” It wasn’t a question. More like a repetition of the fact in order to understand. But it wasn’t just his shirt you were wearing. As he said it he noticed the purple strap poking out by your shoulder. A purple strap. You didn’t own any purple undergarments. “What is that?” he asked, his gaze burning a hole in your shoulder.

Before you could even answer him he said, “Purple. You don’t own anything purple.” His gaze was lighting you on fire, his eyes full of slow understanding, pupils blown wide with lust.

You got up from your chair, pushing your empty dinner plate slightly forward, and walked around the kitchen table to his side to stand right in front of him. “Well, while I was out,” you started, your voice low and seductive, “I passed by that shop, you know, the one I got that royal blue set from.” Azriel knew exactly what you were talking about. Remembered your squirming form underneath him while you were in that set. He was starting to feel lightheaded from how much of his blood had gone to his crotch. “And I figured it wouldn’t hurt to go in and see if they had anything as good as that royal blue set.” You were teasing him now, you knew it. But it was so fun, you couldn’t help yourself.

“Please, my love. Please let me see it. Let me see you,” he begged, winned. It was music to your ears. He was so hard it looked like it hurt. He had started slipping off his chair onto his knees in front of you, his scarred hands coming up to grip your hips. He was actually begging.

“You want to see it?” you taunted. He nodded, swallowing audibly. “Alright, but no touching. Not yet.” You pushed his hands off your hips, which was more difficult than you thought it would be, and began unbuttoning the shirt. Each button you worked to undo made Azriel’s breathing heavier, until he was practically panting. His hands were clenched so tightly at his sides you were sure his fingernails would leave marks on his palms.

You felt like a goddess; the man you adored more than anything knelt at your feet, completely enraptured by you, in awe of all you are. You reached the last button, undoing it achingly slowly, just to see your mate break out in a sweat. His hands were clenching his thighs hard enough to bruise, his chest heaved like a dying man, and the only thing shining in his eyes was need. Need for you, need to touch you, need to be buried in you until neither of you could tell where one ended and the next began. Azriel was a gentleman, but right now, here in front of you, he was the embodiment of pure animalistic lust. One word from you and he would snap. Just how you liked him.

You let the shirt part, giving him a nice view of the valley between your breasts, as well as the crossing straps and lower, to where those straps connected. You dragged one side of the shirt down off your shoulder, then repeated the movement on the other side. Finally, you let the shirt drop off of you, leaving you only in that purple set. You stepped closer to him, and caressed his face with your hand.

“Please.” It was barely a whisper, but you heard it, saw his lips part to form the word. His eyes were pleading with yours. He needed you. Now.

“Okay,” was all you said before he was on you, standing, gripping your hips, kissing you, running his hands over all that satin. He was everywhere all at once, biting your lips, coaxing moans from your throat, groaning over the feel of you, and you reveled in it all. His hands came around the back of your thighs, and suddenly you were being picked up and carried down the hall, towards your shared bedroom.

You were placed gently onto the bed, which was still rumpled from your nap earlier. Azriel leaned over you, taking you all in. “I love the purple, but I need you naked,” he said, peppering your jaw with kisses. You reached down to your hips and unhooked the straps from the panties. Azriel quickly figured out how to get your top off, and in a matter of seconds he was dragging the purple satin down your breasts just so his hands and lips could cover them again.

He took one of your nipples into his mouth, rolled the other between his fingers, and sucked and licked and pinched and bit till your chest was littered with marks from him. All the while, moans and whimpers poured out of you. Azriel reveled in the divine sounds you made, the sounds he made you make.

He made his way down your body, drawing closer and closer to where you needed him most.

“Please, baby. Please let me taste you,” he whispered, pleaded, begged. You gave him confirmation, that one word he needed to hear, then he was dragging those purple satin panties down your legs and throwing them across the room. He parted your legs, exposing your glistening core to him. The look in his eyes was that of absolute hunger. He didn’t bother with teasing you. He put his tongue right on your cunt, giving you no time to adjust or think before he licked a stripe from your entrance to your clit, spreading your arousal across his tongue.

You propped yourself up on your elbows so you could watch him; watch as he devoured you, drank from you, absolutely consumed you. He licked and sucked at your clit, brought it between his teeth, and eased the bite with more licks. Your head fell back as you moaned his name, lost in the pleasure he was giving you. Sooner than you even thought possible, you were on the edge of release, that coil in your belly drawing tighter and tighter. Without warning, Azriel slid a finger into you, curling it in a way that had you falling apart. He added a second, and it was your undoing.

You came with Azriel’s name on your lips. He worked you through your pleasure, continued to lick and suck till you were shaking from overstimulation. You pushed his head away, but he wouldn’t budge. He kept on licking you, drinking every drop of your release straight from the source. You were boneless, soar from overstimulation, but you could feel another orgasm rising within you.

Azriel moaned from the taste of you, the vibration making your hips buck. He continued to work his fingers into you, curling perfectly to reach that spot that made you scream. Profanities and pleads and promises poured from your mouth, but Azriel didn’t stop until you were coming again, on his fingers, on his face, on his tongue. Finally, after drinking every last drop of your essence, he worked his way back up to your mouth.

He kissed you until you came back to reality, until your limbs regained function. You kissed him back, moaning from the taste of yourself on his tongue. And then you were pushing him onto his back, straddling his hips to keep him there. He struggled a bit, pointing to his pinned wings, but you only smiled at him. “Is the Illarian baby pinned?” you taunted him. He stopped struggling, but instead glared at you. So you dragged a finger down one of the veins in his wings, and a moan slipped past his lips.

“That's what I thought,” you muttered. He was still fully clothed, and the contrast of your nakedness only spurred you on further. You kissed him, long and deep and unhurried, while you unbuttoned the length of his shirt. He broke the kiss to shed his shirt, so you turned your attention to unlacing his pants. While you worked, he kissed and nipped your neck, working marks into your soft flesh. You worked his pants down his legs, aided with Azriel’s help, and eventually he was naked underneath you.

You pressed him down to lay flat on the bed, then started your journey down towards his hard length. As you worked your way down, you liked and sucked and bit until his skin was littered with marks, just like yours was. You scraped your nails down his arms, down his sides, till he was shivering from your touch.

Kneeling now between his legs, guided a hand towards his length while you kissed his hips and rolled the skin between your teeth. His hips bucked at the fist fell of your hands on him, which made you smile. “So responsive,” you purred, then licked him from base to tip. He let out a moan that had your thighs rubbing together. With your tongue, you licked up the bead of precum that had frond, then promptly took as much of him into your mouth as you could.

Azriel speared his fingers through your hair, not to control your head but to steady himself. Your mouth was a dream to him; warm and wet and perfect. Second best only to your cunt. You hollowed your cheeks, taking him deeper and deeper into your mouth until he was hitting the back of your throat. Az was panting at this point, his skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Your mouth felt so good, but he needed to be inside you.

“I’m gonna…please…I need to be inside you,” he panted out. You pulled your mouth off him with a pop, then gave him one last lick before you climbed your way back up to him. You kissed him, mainly just so he could taste himself on you. Then you positioned your hips just above his, readying yourself to sink onto his length.

Using his hand, he parted you, spreading your slick on you and on his hand. He eased you onto his cock slowly, letting you adjust to him. Every time you took him, it was an adjustment. You hoped that would never change. You both made an obscene noise when he was finally, completely in you.

“You want to be filled, baby?” he asked as he ran the fingers he had parted you with down between your ass cheeks. Yes, you wanted to be full of him, wanted to be overwhelmed by him, wanted to feel him everywhere. You nodded. “Words, love,” he chided softly.

“Yes, please Az,” you wined. That was all you had to say before he worked his fingers into you, using your slick on his fingers as lube. He gripped your hips with the rest of that hand and the other, a bruising grip that was sure to leave bruises.

Azriel was sitting up slightly now, and even though you were on top of him, he set the pace. Slow rolls of your hips guided by his hands started you off. All you could think about was how full of him you were, how overwhelming the feeling of him everywhere was. Your pace quickens, spurred on by your whimpers and his moans. Your eyes were locked with eachothers, and within Azriel’s you saw his bottomless pool of love for you. His pupils were blown wide, and so were yours.

You kissed him, hard, and he returned it even harder. You’re moaning into eachothers mouths, the only goal being to guide each other to your peaks. You could feel that ache building, that need for release drawing closer and closer. Azriel could feel it too, reveling in the way your walls gripped him. He shifted his free hand around to play with your clit, and then you were coming, harder than you had in a while, cresting on a silent scream.

Azriel was right behind you, fucking sloppily into you until you were gripping him so tightly he could barely move. He came, chanting your name like a prayer, until his voice went hoarse.

You both laid there, panting and boneless, for minutes or hours or days, you couldn't tell. Eventually he guided you off of him, pulling out of you with a hiss, to lay you next to him. He gave you a kiss on the cheek before getting up to go to the bathing room. You heard the sound of water rushing into the tub, and in the next minute Azriel came back in, picked you up bridal style, and whisked you into the bathing room.

He set you down gently into the warm water then joined you, settling in right behind you. He pulled you back so your back was against his chest, then proceeded to wash you with a soapy cloth. When he was done you returned the favor, batting his hand away when he tried to protest. You finished up in the bath, dried each other off, then slipped into some sleeping clothes and then bed.

“We’re okay, right?” he asked, pulling you closer to him. Your heart melted, warmed by the idea that he wanted to make sure.

Yes, Az. We’re all good,” you replied, giving him a kiss on the nose.

“Okay. good,” was all he said before he tucked you tighter into him and you both fell asleep.

[emma-needs-attention]

I don’t shave every day. It’s not that I don’t “need” to; I have very dark, dense facial hair that grows quickly and remains pretty visible after shaving. When I do shave, I don’t try to cover it with makeup (beyond some powder to reduce redness). In most other ways I present very feminine, but I always have fairly obvious facial hair.

And it makes me feel terrible.

I started electrolysis a couple months ago. It’s excruciatingly painful, expensive, and it takes forever. In an hour-long session, my electrologist is able to remove hair in only a small region (about 1 square inch). A few weeks later, much of that hair comes back. I am told that it will take two to three years of regular treatments to remove it entirely. On top of that, I apparently have a condition called Post Inflammatory Hyperpigmentation, which causes the skin in affected areas to darken after treatment. For nearly two months after completing a single pass over my upper lip, my mustache was more visible than it had ever been, despite having significantly less hair.

And it made me feel terrible.

I know this is the best way for me to permanently remove my facial hair, but I just canceled all of my upcoming sessions and at the moment I have no plans to begin again.

If I could pay to have my facial hair instantly and completely removed I would empty my savings account. I am intensely aware of it any time I go out in public. If it makes me so uncomfortable, why do I not do more to hide it?

I feel incredibly privileged for a trans woman. I have a loving, supportive family. I have a well-paying job. I live in a very accepting area. I have never had a single person say anything negative to me about my gender identity, which was certainly not what I was expecting when I came out. It is important to me that I be visibly queer, and in my privileged position I am able to do that without fear. A year ago I didn’t think I would ever transition; now I want people to know that I’m trans.

I am disappointed with myself for wanting to remove my facial hair, for changing my voice. I am determined not to have to do more work than a cis person does. Cis women don’t have to shave their face every day. Cis men don’t have to shave their face every day. Why should I? This is who I am, what my body does. Shouldn’t I be proud of that? Am I not supposed to love myself the way I am?

But by that logic, why am I even transitioning in the first place?

I am doing more work than a cis person does. Cis people don’t transition, and transitioning takes effort. I know that there are cis people, both men and women, who do shave every day. Am I lying to myself? I’m a trans woman; aren’t I supposed to want to get rid of my facial hair? Shouldn’t I be trying harder? Doesn’t this give me dysphoria? Am I pretending not to have dysphoria so I don’t have to put in the effort? Does the fact that I’m not trying harder make me… I don’t know, less trans? Non-binary? Is it ok for me to call myself a trans woman? Am I lying to myself?

As a woman who was a man until thirty, there are things about my body that I must accept, that I won’t be able to change no matter how much money I dump into my transition. I’m tall, I have broad shoulders, I have large hands. No amount of surgery or hormones will change these things.

But there are many things that I can change, and while none of them are requirements for being a woman, they may still be changes that I want to make. Where do I stop? Am I finished transitioning when I’ve done everything that is physically possible? My goal isn’t to “pass,” at least not in the way that word is generally used. In a time when cis women are being assaulted because people think they’re trans—because they don’t “pass” as women—the idea of what it means to pass becomes blurry. Often when we say that we want to pass, what we really mean is that we want to be conventionally beautiful.

I am a woman. Therefore, I look like a woman. My transition goal is to pass as myself. I’ve spent the last year trying to figure out who I am so I can look like her. I don’t care whether people see me and think “that’s a woman.” I want to be able to look in the mirror and think “that’s me.” But it can be extremely difficult to separate your own image of yourself from society’s idea of what you should look like. Am I self-conscious about the size of my body because it doesn’t feel like me, or because I’ve been told that women should be smaller? There are tall cis women, there are broad-shouldered cis women, there are cis women with large hands. Those traits don’t make them less womanly.

For the aspects of my body that I do have control over, I am stuck wondering whether I am changing things to become myself, or changing them because I have internalized that the way I am is wrong. At the moment, facial feminization surgery is something that I think I might like to do. But how do I know that I want to do it for the right reasons? I don’t hate my face, but when I catch a glimpse of myself from certain angles I can’t help but think that it isn’t feminine enough. What I should be asking is if it’s Emma enough, but how can I know that? How do I know who I’m supposed to be?

I feel like I was supposed to be a cis woman, but… why? Who am I to say that I wasn’t supposed to be trans? That I wasn’t supposed to transition at thirty, to have both a male puberty and a female one? Being trans has made me more self-aware, more open-minded, more empathetic. The totality of my experience is what makes me who I am. Maybe there’s a world in which I was assigned female, maybe there’s a world in which I was put on puberty blockers as a kid. But the girl in those worlds isn’t me.

Loving yourself and wanting to change are two feelings that can coexist. I tend to think of body positivity as simply accepting yourself as you are, but it is more nuanced than that. As a trans person, who I am inside is not the same as who I am outside. Which one am I supposed to love? I do love myself, but I also love who I could be. I’m transitioning so that someday they’ll be the same person.

Over the past year I have become both my biggest supporter and my biggest critic. I constantly tell myself how pretty I am, how brave I am, how fucking cool I am (hey, nobody else is saying it and it’s true). This forced positivity has been fantastic for me. I can confidently say that I truly love myself for the first time in my life. But I sometimes feel guilty that I don’t love myself more.

I can’t help but stare at myself in the mirror all the time now. I actually bought a new mirror so I didn’t have to walk as far to do so. I’ve taken more selfies than I did in my entire pre-transition life. After many months on HRT, I finally see myself in my reflection. But my eyes refuse to focus on my stubble. Sometimes I catch myself thinking “I’m going be so beautiful once I get rid of this facial hair,” and it feels like a betrayal. Fuck you Emma, I’m already gorgeous.