#i started it right after i watched the yo gabba gabba episode with matthew in it

[chasethedemigod]

currently watching how to be a serial killer and it’s much gayer than i’d expected

[imamotherfuckingstar-lord]

A Million Reasons, part 10

Characters: Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Bucky Barnes, Matt Murdock

Warnings: angst.

A/N: If you want a happy ending sort of story, please refrain from reading any further. If you want a more realistic take on a relationship and how easily things can fall apart  - then here you go.

Summary:  It’s simple really. Girl joins S.H.I.E.L.D. Boy gets unfrozen after 70 years. Girl meets boy. They fall in love. They get engage. They have a baby. Then shit hits the fan. Add some drama, flashbacks, a cute kid, meddling Natasha/Bucky duo and maybe another love interest in the mix - one in the form of a hot lawyer from Hell’s Kitchen.

Masterlist

A little body bounced on the bed and you grinned, pretending to still be asleep. Your head rested to the right of your pillow and you snored playfully until a finger poked your cheek.

“Daddy, Mommy’s still sleeping.”

“Coulson,” Steve sighed, holding a tray of food in his hands. “Be careful with Mommy, she still is hurt.”

“I forgot,” Coulson whispered, moving down next to you. “Yo Gabba Gabba, Dad!”

“Yeah, Steve, I’m in the mood for a party in my tummmmy!”

The boy yelped as your eyes snapped open and you reached for him, giving his sides tickles. He giggled and giggled until he started coughing and Steve shook his head.

“You two want breakfast or not?”

“We do!”

“Yeah, the kid’s right. I’m starving,” you motioned for Steve to hand over the tray, so he walked around to your side of the bed and watched you carefully as you sat up against the headboard. Gently, he eased the tray over your lap and Coulson quickly crawled over to your legs to sit on your knees. You chuckled and thanked Steve for the food, noticing three plates on the tray.

“Joining us?”

“Yeah,” Steve admitted shyly. “You don’t mind? Bucky and Nat left early this morning, Tony’s gone and the rest are doing their own thing.”

You glanced over to your son, whose eyes matched his father’s and smiled. “Yeah, the more the merrier. Come hop on the Yo Gabba Gabba train,” you said, patting the empty spot next to you.

Without hesitation, Steve walked around the queen sized bed, sat above the blankets and grabbed the remote off the night stand. You handed Coulson a piece of toast and took a sip of orange juice, yelping when Steve passed the correct channel. He laughed and held his hands up when you confiscated the remote and went back to the channel. Coulson whipped his head around and started singing along to the song playing, making you grin.

“You look better,” Steve pointed out.

You felt better too.

It had been two weeks since that night and things had been a stand still. Matt had walked into the room shortly after Steve, Bucky, and Nat left. He had sat with you and held your hand, made a few horrible lawyer jokes and then his smile fell. His fingers grazed your skin and you knew then, he heard everything you had.

“Listen,” Matt cleared his throat and sighed. “You need some time to heal, to be with Coulson.”

“Matthew,” you stuttered out, pulling his hand toward you, but he just flashed his signature smile - sweet and full of confidence.

“Hey, it’s going to be fine. I just want you to get better and you’ll get that help with your friends.”

Knowing there was no room to argue with the stubborn man, you asked for a kiss. Matt chuckled and leaned down, a hand on the bed railing as his head hovered over yours. You looked up at him and brought a hand to the side of his face. Your heart beated fast, because on the tip of your tongue were those three words that could and would change everything. The words you wanted to say, but couldn’t, so you didn’t. Instead you kissed him hard and eagerly, hoping he’d get the message.

“Hey, you okay?”

Steve’s voice sprung you from your own mind and you smiled over at him. “Yeah, these eggs look delicious.”

“Years of practice.”

“Right, I was there, I know,” you expressed dramatically, picking up a piece of toast. “So, how is Sharon?”

Your question caught him off guard, because he had not utter her name, at least in front of you, since he brought you to the Tower.  Not knowing why or if it had anything to do with what was said between him and your friends, you decided to keep quiet until he was ready to talk. But two weeks had came and went and you were ready to press.

“She’s good, sends her regards.”

“How are you two?”

Steve forked around the food on his plate and gave a weak shrug. “We could be better.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

And you were, you liked Sharon and thought she was good for Steve. She could do what you couldn’t in your relationship - stand up for herself.

“You got a good thing with her, Steve. Don't mess it up.”

“Like I messed us up,” he responded dryly.

You stared at Steve, the sound of upbeat music filled the room as your eyes shifted from him to Coulson. The little boy was sitting on his knees, chewing on the toast, his head bobbing back and forth to the song.

“It is what it is,” you finally said, giving Steve a weak smile. “I mean, look at him.”

Your eyes led Steve to Coulson and you shrugged. “He’s happy, I’m happy.”

Steve sighed softly and grinned. “Yeah, that’s all that matters, huh?”

“Exactly, now shh,” you nodded to the tv. “This is my favorite episode.”

…..

Natasha watched with cautious eyes as Steve helped you into the kitchen, his hand on your back and a light smile on his face. You winced in pain when you took one too many steps toward the table and Steve stopped, asking if you were okay.

“Yeah, just help me to a chair.”

He did and when you sat down, he quickly left the room to go get your pain medication. Sighing, you reached over for the discarded day old newspaper and looked up when Nat cleared her throat rather loudly.

“What?”

“Have you talked to Matt since the hospital?”

You folded the newspaper and gazed over at her. “We texted a few nights ago, he thinks I need space to spend time with Coulson.”

“And you didn’t tell him otherwise?”

Noting the accusation in Nat’s voice, you glared at the woman. “Just spit it out, Romanoff.”

“Fine,” she snapped, walking over to the table and putting her hands on the table. “Don’t get back with Rogers.”

Your face fell in confusion and you held up a hand in defense. “Where the fuck did that came from, Natasha.”

She pursed her lips just as Steve walked in, a white bag in hand and a curious look on his face.

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” she stood up and stared right into your eyes. “I don’t know much of anything nowadays. I’m going to go get Coulson, Bucky promised we’d take him to the park.”

“Sounds good,” Steve smiled, unaware of the tension, and started unpacking the bag of medication, while Nat eyed you carefully before disappearing out the door.

As you sat there quietly, Steve walked over to the fridge for a glass of water and Nat’s words repeated in your mind. Whatever she was implying, it got you thinking and when Steve placed a glass down in front of you, along with a few white pills, everything hit you at once.

Putting the pills in your mouth, you drank the entire glass of cold water, letting it wake your body up.

“I gotta go train with Sam, you want help back to the room?”

Steve’s voice rang in your ears and you shook your head. “No, I’ll be fine. I gotta go see Tony.”

“Everything okay?”

“Mhmm,” you smiled absentmindedly up at your ex. “Everything’s good.”

….

You walked into Tony’s lab, taking small carefully steps. The pain medication was helping, along with the ton of rest you were getting, but it was time to get back to the norm, at least..a different norm.

“Tony,” you called out to the billionaire, who was fidgeting with a tablet.

“Hmm?”

“Can we talk,” you asked, leaning against a metal table.

He looked up and, as if he hadn’t realized it was you, smiled brightly. “It’s good to see you up and moving. You scared me for a second, kid.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” you replied quietly. “Are you busy?”

“Never,” he smirked, walking over to you. “What’s going on?”

Nerves wrecked your bones, not knowing how he’d react to what you were about to say.

“Well…” you voice faded off and Tony reached over to your shoulder, giving it a lightly squeeze.

“What’s up?”

Taking a deep breath, your eyes met Tony’s.

“I’m quitting the Avengers.”

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