#i stalked ellen’s twitter the other day

[flyinpucks]

pookie starting high school😙

he is literally this emoji 🧍

[oonathefaewitch]

Hey so I'm a self-taught witch who practices independently and I was hoping to learn a little bit from others as well. Do you have any books/resources/people you recommend looking into?

Hi there!

I'm a self-taught witch as well and I'm still at the beginning of my journey, at the moment I'm yet to finish the big blue book Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft of which I'm also sharing the lessons (you can find tose posts in my archive here) so for now I can only really recommend that one, but I'm marking down all the recommendend supplementary redings at the end of every lesson if you wanna check them out!

I'm also reading a very interesting and complete book about tarot called Holistic Tarot which i really recommend, it's a bit expensive maybe but it's totally worth it

Other than that I can write down here the list of recommended reading at the end of the blue book (with extra books other than the ones already listed at the end of every lesson), I can't recommend those personally (even if I did buy some of them but I still have to read them) but I think they're worth a shot if you'd like to know more, I'll add the other two I mentioned above in the list, in any case if you find other books online read carefully all the reviews cause many books are not serious about this topic

Also I'm not sure but I think these books below are all from white people and mainly about white cultures (and most of them are very old), so If you (or anyone else) have some recommendations about other cultures' book about witchcraft or ancient traditions I'd be glad to know more about that too!

As for people and other resources, I follow some witches on Twitter that shares interesting stuff, it would be too long to link all of their profiles so I can give you directly the list of people I follow here

I hope you'll find this helpful~

Color Healng by Mary Anderson

Gods and Goddesses of Ancient Greece by Edward E. Jr Barthell

Crystal Gazing by Theodore Besterman

I-Ching: The Book of Changes by J. Blofeld

Primitive Song by C. M. Bowra

Gerald Gardner: Witch by J. L. Bracelin

The Lost Gods of England by Brian Branston

Development of Religion and Thought is Ancient Egypt by J. H. Breasted

Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft / Amazing Secrets of the Psychic World / Color Magick / Gypsy Dream Dictionary / A Pocket Guide to the Supernatural / Practical Candleburning Rituals / Scottish Witchcraft & Magick / The Tree: Complete Book of Saxon Witchcraft / Wicca For Life / The Witch Book: Encyclopedia of Witchcraft, WIcca and Neopaganism / Witchcraft From the Inside by Raymond Buckland

The Holy Book of Women's Mysteries by Zsuzsanna Budapest

Amulets and Talismans by Sir E. A. Wallis Budge

Egyptian Language by Oxford University Press

How to Read the Aura, Practice Psychometry, Telepathy and Clairvoyance by W.E. Butler

Ancient Ways by Dan and Pauline Campanelli

Handbook of Unusual and Unorthodox Healing by J. V. Carney

Handbook of Bach Flower Remedies by Philip M. Chancellor

Color Therapy by Linda Clark

Precious Stones: Their Occult Power and Hidden Significance by W. B. Crow

Lid Off the Cauldron / The Witches Speak Athol by Patricia Crowther

Complete Herbal by Nicholas Culpeper

Earth Power / Living Wicca / Magical Herbalism by Scott Cunningham

Practical Guide to Astral Projection by Melita Dennings and Osborne Phillips

The Silent Path by Michael Eastcott

Patterns of Comparative Religion / Rites and Symbols of Initiation - Birth and Rebirth by Mircea Eliade

The Dream Game by Ann Faraday

What Witches Do / Eight Sabbats For Witches / The Witches' Way by Janet and Stewart Farrar

Magical Rites From the Crystal Well by Ed Fitch

The Golden Bought by Sir James G. Frazer

The Wisdom of Pagan Philosophers by Timothy Freke and Peter Gandy

Totem and Taboo by Sigmund Freud

Witchcraft Today / The Meaning of Witchcraft / High Magic's Aid / A Goddess Arrives by Gerald Gardner

Complete Herbal by Gerard

Stalking the Healthful Herbs by Euell Gibbons

Witchcraft, the Sixth Sense, and Us by Justine Glass

Seasonal Occult Rituals by William Gray

The Encyclopedia of Witches and Witchcraft by Rosemay Ellen Guiley

Ancient Art and Ritual Kessinger by Jane E. Harrison

Palmistry, the Whole View by Judith Hipskind

Myth and Ritual by S. H. Hooke

Witch: A Magickal Journey by Fiona Horne

The Runes and Other Magical Alphabets by Michael Howard

Witchcraft by Penethorne Hughes

Memories Dreams and Reflections by Carl G. Jung

Aradia, Gospel of the Witches of Italy by Charles Godfrey Laland

Witches: Investigating an Ancient Religion / Gogmagog - the Buried Gods by T. C. Lethbridge

Healing For Everyone by E. Loomis and J. Paulson

Numerology by Vincent Lopez

Commond and Uncommond Uses of Herbs of Healthful Living by Richard Lucas

The Herb Book by John Lust

Pagan Parenting by Kristin Madden

Witta: An Irish Pagan Tradition by Edain McCoy

The Principles and Practice of Radiesthesia by Abbè Mermet

The Hearbalist by J. E. Meyer

The Craft by Dorothy Morrison

Green Witchcraft series by Ann Aoumiel Moura

Sexual Occultism by John Mumford

The Family Wicca Book by Ashleen O'Gaea

Reclaim the Power of the Witch by Monte Plaisance

Potter's New Cyclopedia of Botanical Drugs and Preparations by R. C. Potter

How to Make and Use Talismans / The Art of True Healing by Israel Regardie

The Seventh Sense by Kenneth Roberts

High Magic's Aid by Scire

The Book of Charms and Alisman by Sepharial

The Spiral Dance by Starhawk

The Devil in Massachusetts by Marion L. Starkey

Medical Palmistry by Marten Steinbach

Is This Your Day? by George S. Thommen

Magic and Healing by C. J. S. Thompson

Where Witchcraft Lives / An ABC of Witchcraft Past and Present / Witchcraft For Tomorrow by Doreen Valiente

The Rites of Passage by Arnold Van Gennep

Herbal Manual by H. Ward

Holistic Tarot by Benebell Wen

The I-Ching by R. Wilhelm

The Christians As the Romans Saw Them by Robert L. Wilken

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Wicca and Witchcraft by Denise Zimmermann and Katherine A. Gleason

[scottybrock]

Petty & Pettier - Colby Brock

A/N: Requested by a lovely anon: “arzaylea rodriguez saying something online or in an interview about reader thus starting a feud between them and the whole gang not really knowing whose side to take? maybe arzaylea is threatened by reader and colbys friendship? ohhh and maybe to add fuel to the fire reader might befriend one of arzayleas exes? just a whole bunch of drama cause I’m in a dramatic mood “

You usually weren’t a petty bitch. 

Okay, so you were. There was absolutely nothing wrong with that, especially because you used your powers for good, for your friends, rather than yourself. When it came to defending yourself, you didn’t really care for it. People could think whatever they wanted about you; you knew what was true and what wasn’t. It didn’t bother you. You didn’t really give a flying shit if anyone said anything about you. You were used to it- you hung out with some pretty big content creators, and you were just a lowly nobody, according to what people said about you. You weren’t a Youtuber, and you kept yourself out of the spotlight. People didn’t understand how you became friends with the people you were friends with, but it was really no one’s fucking business. 

However, when it came to defending your friends, you were a shark that had caught a whiff of blood- earnest to draw even more, if need be. It was something your friends loved about you- how much you cared about them, loved them. Colby, especially, appreciated your fierce and unyielding devotion to your friend group. You loved your friends, and you would do anything for them. Putting a few bitches in place was the very least of what you would do for them.

The bitch in question this time around, was none other than Arzaylea Rodriguez. You knew all about her. She went for the clout chasing option when searching for future boyfriends. Unfortunately this time, she had her sights set on none other than Colby Brock.

 You had heard about what she had done to Luke Hemmings, lead singer of the band 5 Seconds of Summer. She had gotten him into harder drugs, tried to isolate him from his best friends and his fans, and nearly succeeded. Luckily, Luke pulled his head out of his ass long enough to finally dump the clout-chasing parasite on her ass. 

Arzaylea prided herself on chasing after boys who had a following, a steady fan base. Colby was too big-hearted to really notice Arzaylea’s true intentions. His heart was too kind, too pure to be able to really see what a horrid person she really was. She was nothing like the flower of her namesake. The rest of the group had seen the destruction she left behind from all of her exes. 

Tara was all for the speedy destruction of the possible blossoming relationship between Colby and Arzaylea. Sam, being the sweetheart he was, wanted things to end as peacefully as possible. Jake seemed torn between wanting you to end her, and wanting things to remain as un-messy as possible. Corey and Devyn seemed indifferent, but also displeased with the blossoming relationship, especially because it involved Arzaylea. Katrina seemed to want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but was leaning towards discovering that the she-devil was trash. Kevin, Mike, and Reggie point-blank didn’t like her, which was where Aryia, Xepher, and Cassie stood. 

“Dude,” Sam’s voice was one of shock. His bright blue eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, his jaw hanging slack. “She just roasted you.” Arzaylea, threatened by your friendship with Colby, had taken to Twitter as usual. She sent out a slew of defamatory tweets, bashing not only your character, but your looks as well. She called you an attention-seeking whore. “Pot, meet kettle,” You scoffed in response when you saw that particular tweet. 

“It’s not like any of those tweets are true!” Tara protested vehemently, fuming on your behalf. Jake just stared at his phone screen, his jaw clenched with anger. Katrina seemed to be near-tears on your behalf, her lower lip quivering with indignation and hurt. Her glassy eyes rested on you, and she offered you a shaky half-smile. 

You just shrugged, nonplussed with the tweets. As long as she wasn’t going after your friends, you didn’t necessarily give a flying fuck. Suddenly, the door burst open, revealing a rather disheveled looking Colby on the other side. His bright blue eyes were aflame with complete and utter rage. He stalked across the room and plopped down on the couch next to you, his handsome face set into a fierce scowl. 

“She tried to make me choose,” His voice was gruff, and quivering with barely suppressed anger. “She told me to choose either you or her, and I chose you.” His eyes settled on your face, some of the anger leaving it. He offered you a strained smile. “Obviously, I chose you.” His voice softened on the word ‘you,’ Your cheeks flushed, and you ducked your head. “Clearly, she didn’t take it so well.” Colby’s smile dropped, his scowl replacing it. 

You shrugged again. “As long as she doesn’t say anything about-” Tara cut you off, her big brown eyes wide with fury on your behalf. “She’s not going to get away with this,” Her voice was sharp, tight with anger. Jake piped up, “Aren’t you still friends with Luke?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “Fight fire with fire, just this once.” He begged, clasping his hands together and tucking them under his chin, wide eyes staring at you. 

Your lips curled up into a smirk. If Arzaylea wanted to play dirty, you could play even dirtier. Katrina beamed, her tears disappearing. “Call him,” She instructed. Sam watched you, looking nervous, but excited. You reached for your phone, your smirk never leaving your face. “That’s your murder-face,” Colby observed, raising his eyebrows. “What exactly is your plan?” 

Your smirk just grew wider, to the absolute delight of Tara and Jake. “You’ll see!” You sing-songed. The glint in your eyes spoke volumes. You were getting ready to win the fucking war. 

Sure enough, Luke had seen the tweets. He was just as angry as your group of friends, and you watched him bemusedly as he threw things around his hotel room, shouting obscenities about what a rat Arzaylea was. He yeeted yet another pillow across the room, storming around like a tornado. Finally, you held a hand up and let out an ear-piercing scream. Luke stopped what he was doing immediately, and turned to face you. His bright blue eyes reminded you of someone else, and your heart panged in your chest. 

“I have a plan,” You announced. Luke stood in the middle of the room, his gorgeous face untwisting from the scowl that it was previously set in, to a lovely smirk. “I’m in,” He replied. You wrinkled your nose at him, smiling amusedly at him. “I didn’t even tell you what it was yet!” You protested playfully. Luke grinned, and his dimples deepened. You stared at him, transfixed. Your heart was set on someone else, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t admire the work of art standing in front of you. 

A few days later, several demands from your friends on when you were going to strike, and a few dozen mysterious smirks from you later, your plan was revealed. “Turn on channel six,” You instructed Sam, who immediately scrambled for the remote. The television flickered to life, and Sam immediately hit the number six. 

Sure enough, Luke was sitting on a plush chair, looking somber. He was sans bandmates, even though Michael begged him to let him come along, so he could roast the absolute shit out of the Krusty Krab. Luke denied his request, ignoring your hysterical laughter in the background during the phone call. 

“So,” Ellen Degeneres began, looking sympathetically at Luke. “You’re here to talk about your toxic ex-girlfriend today?” Luke nodded, his somber expression intensifying. You stifled a laugh. “Yeah,” Luke replied. “Because it’s not only me, that she’s hurt. It’s been several people, and she won’t stop until she’s called out, like she likes to do to so many other people who frown upon her actions.” You bounced on the couch gleefully. Sam was stifling his laughter from behind his hand. Katrina and Tara were outright cackling. Colby looked impressed. 

Luke went on to detail his relationship with Arzaylea, explaining in detail the way she would cheat on him with someone else who she thought had a bigger following, and the way she would beg herself back into his life. The way she urged him to try cocaine, and got him hooked. He went on to detail the way she chased after attention, the way she had left him as soon as there was someone else higher on the food chain. 

Colby’s eyes were wide when Luke was finished with his story. The room was silent, and you swore you heard some sniffles from the audience. You mentally applauded Luke for not only his bravery, but his willingness to do this for you. It was something he’d wanted to do for years, but never knew how to go about it. You hoped that he felt freed from her now. 

You silently clicked the television off, then turned to face your friends. The instant you moved, you were engulfed in Colby’s arms, and he was hugging you tightly. “Thank you,” Colby’s voice murmured softly. “For looking out for me.” You snuggled into his embrace, melting against him. “Always,” You replied, your voice just as soft. “I’ll always look out for you, Colbs.” His arms tightened around you in response. 

You pulled back and looked at him searchingly. “I’m sorry if you really did like her,” Your voice remained soft. “I just didn’t want you to get sucked into her cycle, like Luke did.” Colby’s eyes met yours, and his expression warmed instantly. “It’s whatever,” Colby shrugged. “She wasn’t the one for me. But she helped me pull my head out of my ass, and made me realize that the one for me is closer than I think.” His gaze was meaningful, and you grinned in response. Colby’s lips curled into a soft smile. “In fact, she’s sitting right in front of me.” 

Your cheeks flushed, but you nodded, a sweet smile gracing your face. “Yeah,” You replied softly. “She is.”

[migleefulmoments]

leka-1998

Why so unhappy, M? Probably because of the paparazzi who just won’t leave you alone, right?

Ding Ding Ding. you are right, @Leka-1998!  It would annoy any of us if paparazzi were following us around as we lived our lives (See photos below)

pikachu-cc

...Or because he hates her? Or because she knows she’s going to be irrelevant even more than she is now soon? Or because he just won’t hold her hand or look like he’s at all happy to be in her presence?...

He hates her? No @pikachu-cc, he married her. 

I know you are new to the cult, but Abby has been claiming Mia will be “irrelevant” for 4 years straight and yet each year she becomes more relevant in Darren’s life. It’s a tired, old, out-of-touch trope that really makes you look stupid. Abby claimed Mia would be irrelevant when she was his girlfriend, his live-in partner, his fiancé and now his wife. You must realize how dumb it sounds to keep whining that she will soon be irrelevant as their relationship progresses..if you don’t see it then I will make it easy, you sound dumb.

ajw720

...No one cares about her and her house and her fake marriage.  And no one is going to suddenly care because of a few pap pics in JJ that he is paid handsomely to publish...

@Ajw720: You either don’t understand how gossip sites work or you are lying because it fits your needs. Just Jared is in business for themselves..they provide celebrity gossip and make money by selling ads.  

Inside, he has two laughably large computer screens: one monitoring his blog and overflowing e-mail accounts; the other, even larger, streaming the latest paparazzi photos and hundreds of Twitter feeds — favorites include Kanye West’s college-age stylist (@claycassius) and John Legend’s girlfriend (@chrissyteigen). A 50-inch television, mounted a few feet away, was paused in the middle of “The Ellen DeGeneres Show.”

The site’s revenue comes almost entirely from display ads, from prestigious advertisers like MTV, NBC, Coca-Cola and Disney, to lesser-known diet and coupon brands. He makes enough to support five full-time employees, including Mr. Eng’s brother, Jason Eng, 33, a former hedge fund trader who is now the company’s chief executive.

The site no longer feels like a blog with the personal touch of a blogger hobnobbing with celebs for juicy bits of gossip as it was in this piece from NYT in 2011(X), they still purchase paparazzi photos and build content around  the snippets of info they see in the photo as well as anything the paparazzi can get out of the celeb. The rest of the site’s content is filled with reposting celebrity Instagram posts and the social media from studios, TV show and music companies.  They have a very easy to find “send us a tip” link across the top of their  homepage.

Just Jared doesn’t exist to be the media relations for celebs, if they did they would be filled solely with photos of D-list models and Farrah Abrahm. Celebs don’t need gossip sites to get their message out anymore. Social media provides a powerful method for someone to get their own message to the masses without anyone else interfering-including their own PR teams. If Darren or Mia wanted people to know they were house hunting, either one would post their own photo. 

I went through Just Jared and grabbed all of the random paparazzi photos in the first 7 pages- EVERY SINGLE PERSON LOOKS PISSED because they are pissed.

Nobody wants to be stalked. 

klaineownsmysoul

You mean this isn’t how a newlywed couple searching for a new home together normally looks? Huh.....and unless she’s going to get a job and help with the mortgage, including her is just one more example of the way she’s unnecessarily shoved in my face....

How exactly does a newlywed couple searching for a home “normally” look @Klaineownsmysoul?  I’m curious because nobody ever told me the rules.  How is a newlywed couple who is being stalked by paparazzi supposed to “normally” look?   As for her “getting a job to help with the mortgage” I know Abby doesn't want you talking about it - or even thinking about it- BUT MIA OWNS A BUSINESS. Abby likes to claim the Tramp Stamp Granny’s is about to close but go to their geotag and watch the videos, they are thriving. Also, it isn’t any of your fucking business how anyone except your own family divides up their finances. Protip: STOP STALKING MIA and she won’t be “shoved in your face”. Don’t follow Abby who talks about Mia nonstop all day long.  Don’t look at socials of her friends.  If you don’t like Darren’s wife and you can’t handle her at all, then find an new celebrity to follow because Darren isn’t going to get a new wife just because one gaggle of bitter fans decided they don’t like her based on the lies that Abby has told about her.  

flowersintheattic254

Will JJ announce the new place with the DM doing a cover story too.

That’s fucking rich coming from you @flowersintheattice254 since you are the one who doxxed them.  

[thepastisaroadmap]

[Image description: a post assigning Deep Space Nine characters to the article “Things To Never Say To Someone Who Just Came Out.” The person who just came out is Julian Bashir.

Kira Nerys: “Behold! The oracle spoke the truth!” You can be supportive without mentioning that a blind old woman prophesied your friend’s sexuality to you years ago.

Jadzia Dax: “I’m gayer.” It’s not a competition.

Worf: “You’re so lucky you don’t have to donate blood now.” This is actually deeply unfair to people who desperately want strangers to have their blood.

Jake Sisko: ���A little on the nose to do it during Pride Month, no?” Everyone is allowed to come to these decisions on their own timeline, even if it suspiciously lines up with an entire month celebrating the queer community.

Benjamin Sisko: “Hi Gay, I’m Dad.” Actually, this one is fine. Everyone loves a classic.

Odo: “How do you know?” They got a letter for the Department of Gay Affairs, just like everybody else.

Quark: “In that outfit?” Not everyone comes out as stunningly as you.

Miles O’Brien: “I knew the second you told me you were gay.” Although not wrong, there’s no need to repeat what they just said to you, as everyone gets the point now.

Amsha and Richard Bashir: “Your mother and I still love you.” Have you even been listening? This is about who they love, not you.

Kai Winn: “Our Father Who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” An unsolicited recitation of the Lord’s Prayer could be misinterpreted.

Leeta: “You still owe me $45.” They do, but give them a minute.

Rom: “Oh, like Ellen!” Comparing a friend or acquaintance to Ellen DeGeneres at one of their most vulnerable moments is about the cruelest thing you could do.

Keiko O’Brien: “So what’s next for Mr. New Gay Man?” Give Mr. New Gay Man a minute to breathe before pushing plans on him!

Nog: “Are you queerbaiting me?” Twitter taught you the wrong definition of that word.

Martok: “But milord, you must sire an heir, lest your hated cousin the duke inherit your land!” There’s already enough pressure in this situation without bringing the duke into it.

Garak: “This has been so obvious ever since I started stalking you.” Don’t imply that their closeted sexuality was easily apparent to anyone who peered through their windows with binoculars every night.

Dukat: “I was planning to come out this very moment, and you just stole my thunder.” Just wait a few days and come out some other time.

Sloan: “Would you like to go on record stating that for our organization’s diversity initiative?” Come on. At least wait a week before swooping in with corporate requests.

End image description]

[mamavirtuemoir]

Part I: I've seen all over Tumblr and Twitter people super bummed out by the Calgary event, and I think this is when people need to actively choose to grow up and become self-aware, inc the younger fans. And if they are going to get upset by an innocuous press conference - as it has been counseled before, it might be time for a break. But definitely time to remember the following: 1: We are not watching a TV show in which each episode implies which direction our favorite couple might be headed -

Part II: - this is real life, they rightly owe the fans NOTHING re: their personal life. I’m not surprised they’re coming across MORE professional. 2: The majority of “tells” we’ve witnessed/shared over past 2 years have either occurred with them in their “bubble” (usually stalked by a fan-cam they’re likely not aware of) or in interviews that are done on smaller scales (one-on-one, radio stations, old media friends, etc). Being on TV or in front a slew of cameras is a very different experience.

Part III: 3: They now def know the insane interest in their personal life (ie, Ellen), so until they decide they’re ok going public, they’ll likely be MORE careful about the “tells” they CAN control. 4: Imagine how you’d act in a secret “relationship". I was in one briefly, for reasons too long to explain. To this day, none of our friends know. Ok, maybe 2 guessed it 10 years later, but I know he still denied it (I’m a bad liar). You better believe our demeanor towards ea other changed in public

Thank you so much for sharing.  I did not have that much time on my hands the last few days and was not able to follow as closely as usual but I come back on in earnest and I feel like this:

I mean what on earth is going on.  But then I realized that this is basically normal for us, so there it is.  Sometimes we just need to step away to gain perspective.

[woohooligancomics]

Webcomic Whimsy: Furry Experience!

Welcome to the Woohooligan Weekly Webcomic Whimsy! If you're a webcomic author and would like a review, you can see my announcement and review rules here.

Title: Furry Experience

Author: Ellen Natalie • Patreon • Facebook • Twitter

Site: Smack Jeeves

Genres: Comedy, Drama, Furry, Mormons

Rating: G (?)

Updates: Saturdays

My Starting Point (requested by artist): Page 182 (I'm not sure if they're arranged in chapters -- the archive doesn't seem to have chapter numbers)

Synopsis (from the About page): Three roommates attending college in Utah Valley. Between their different backgrounds, beliefs, and friends, there's sure to be lots of comedy and drama before anyone earns a diploma.

This starting page is probably a decent example of what you can expect from Furry Experience. Obviously the characters are anthropomorphic animals, as you'd expect from the title. The main characters are college roommates, so you would expect that kind of sit-com-esque, day-in-the-life humor. And the art is of good enough quality that we're not scratching our heads about what's going on here.

Ultimately, yes there's a good bit of comedy and a little drama in it, but the drama seems rather tame and the comedy seems very much of the family-friendly variety. I think where the story really excels is in a kind of smooth-seas, non-threatening character development. The characters never seem especially challenged by the events in their life, despite plenty of displays of emotion, and there are lots of scenes of friend and family bonding. To be honest, a lot of it feels to me like the TV commercials the Mormon church sometimes airs, where something ostensibly portrayed as bad seems to have happened, like the kids got their dress clothes all dirty, and just as the parents are about to lay into them, they start a water-fight with the garden hose instead.

I seem to always be waiting for something more outlandish or more personally challenging to happen to one of the characters and it never really does. Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm conditioned to expect that from the TV shows I watch. In any event, if you like friend and family bonding and g-rated humor, this might be for you! :D

The first several pages of this story arc is all three of the roommates continually changing the whiteboard to pass the dishes chore onto each other until Cat, who I presume is a dimwit stereotype, reaches the conclusion that the whiteboard is cursed, rather than that her roommates have been changing it.

Some people might not like me saying this, and fuck them. I like the fact that the cast is weighted on women. I counted fourteen female characters to six male on the about page. The reason I say I like this is because culturally, we've been programmed to expect the cast to be heavily male weighted. This programming is so strong, that when you ask people to estimate the number of women in a room, they usually will say "about half" when the room is actually only 20% or one in five women. Despite its sexist origins, Star Trek: the Next Generation did a better job featuring a 6-to-3 cast ratio in the first season, before Yar died, leaving the ratio 6-to-2. To be fair, Furry Experience isn't even that heavily weighted, the men are slightly less than one in three, so it's comparable to ST:TNG's first season.

The whiteboard joke ends abruptly after a few pages once Cat destroys it, and without showing any further bickering over the dishes chore, so those several pages are essentially a really short comedic subplot or a really long self-contained comic strip.

Then we're on to the next story which starts with Ronnie and her friend Vikki visiting a book-store at the mall. I have to agree with Ronnie here, I've been inside Mormon book stores and I'm not sure I would call it "culture". Mormons are if anything extremely conservative, so aside from picking up on some of their religious idiosyncrasies, the Mormon bookstore would actually restrict the amount of alternative views you're exposing yourself to, not expand them. I personally was raised Mormon (I'm Unitarian / positive agnostic), and my mother was Mormon until some time in my mid thirties. She still refuses to believe anything a liberal says, but takes on face value anything said by a conservative, like for example that Trump never said "grab them by the pussy" (even though he and his wife both admitted it on TV and during the debates), because the whole tape was manufactured as a part of a grand conspiracy. As far as she's concerned, the conspiracy is more believable than the idea that Trump said it, despite the fact that there are numerous TV apperances showing Trump bragging that he wants to fuck his daughter. :-/

But I'm off topic... Ronnie and Vikki are going to the Mormon book store. If you're unfamiliar with Mormonism, Utah is like the Mormons' Vatican... Well, Salt Lake City is, but also most of Utah. Mormonism is such an entrenched part of the state that it's actually somewhat difficult to live in the state without being Mormon, because you can't go or work anywhere without the Mormons in the office giving you crap about the fact that you drink coffee. (They have a religious prohibition on coffee like they do alcohol and cigarettes.)

Honestly, it's hard for me to say much about the following page except "agreed".

So they leave the book shop and they're talking about hanging out the rest of the evening and of course, like I said, it's hard to live in Utah if you're not Mormon, the subject comes up again.

Yes, that's really a thing, Mormons are supposed to have a "family home evening" (most of them do it on Monday), in which they have a gospel lesson... but because it's super hard to maintain that amount of bullshit for such an extended period of time (they all just spent three hours at church the day before), most of them don't manage to have their gospel lesson ready and then feel guilty and go out to eat somewhere with their family instead. And this isn't even mentioning the host of extracurricular church activities they're supposed to engage in, like their weekly study-buddies with other church members.

So the discussion about where to hang out leads to some mystery about what Vikki is hiding at her apartment.

Ronnie decides to stalk Vikki to find out what's wrong with her apartment, and thanks to the laws of sit-com world, what's wrong is that all three of Vikkie's roommates aren't just practicing Mormons, they even bought the "god is watching you" poster from the previous page.

Ellen told me that this series included furries, comedy, drama and Mormon's in that order. So I'm taking her word for it that most of the content isn't specifically about Mormonism, but she did start me out right in front of an arc about how annoying it is to live in Utah if you're not. Vikki's roommates are all attending "Furry Young" university in Provo (Brigham Young is the university owned by the Mormon church) and have stereotypically conservative, female career goals like school teacher, nursing and housewife.

When the discussion turns to the typical Mormon attitude that "of course everyone wants to get married", the story does briefly touch on one of the more awkward and imo hilarious aspects of Mormon religion: if you don't marry on earth, you get to marry one of god's soldiers in heaven! :P

It seems a little odd to me personally that Ellen sidestepped the fact that the Mormon church is polygamist, so it wouldn't matter that those soldiers had already married, because they would get to be wife #3 or 8 or whatever and should be just as happy with that. :P But damnit, Ronnie, don't use the G word in front of the roommates, it really upsets them, and Vikki still has to live with them.

I mentioned all the extracurricular churcch activities, right? Basically the Mormon church expects its members to fill every waking moment with church doctrine in some form. On the toilet? Great opportunity to brush up on Leviticus!

Okay, that's actually a sweet moment between Ronnie and Vikki, and as much as I think Vikki's approach was off, at least now I understand why she was going to the Mormon bookstore. This page was originally published in 2012... I don't know, it seems to me like using Google on your smartphone would be an easier way of learning the Mormonisms than frequenting their bookstore. Google? Why? I have libraries!

So Vikki's roommates want Ronnie and Vikki both to participate in their "family home evening" (which, when you're not living with family, necessarily beccomes "roommate home evening"), which involves praying, singing hymns and a lecture about the importance of marrying in the Temple (a place non-Mormons aren't allowed to go, so obviously you have to marry within the religion to do that). As this is about as appealing as sand-papering your eyeballs, Ronnie gets them out of it by suggesting a "more interactive" activity so she can get to know them better: doorbell ditching! Which, to Vikki's surprise, the Mormon girls are toally into! Because when Mormons do it, they leave cookies, so... for all their faults, at least they're engaging in random acts of diabetes. :P (Fun fact, Mormons use more sugar in their cooking, are heavier set, and have more diabetes than just about any other religion.)

And then rather than buy cookies at the store (it's Monday, they're allowed), they start baking cookies at the last minute to go doorbell ditch them. The point of this page is primarily about how jargon-laden Mormonism is and, although I'm unfamiliar with these specific terms, I don't doubt them.

This story wraps up with a sentimental exchange between Ronnie and Vikki, which seems to me to be much of the flavor of the series as a whole: yes, there's your typical sitcom humor, but the overall tone feels to me less "let's make this hilarious" and more "even Lifetime movies have comic relief". Obviously that's a personal opinion and mileage varies.

The following story centers on one of the few male characters, Hunter, who's also college age, though still living with his parents. He's decided to make (nude) modelling for college art classes his full-time job, which sets the story up for tension between Hunter and his mother.

It isn't apparent until the following page that Mom is aware that Hunter's job is getting nakedy naked in the colleges of the world's most sexually repressed city ... seriously, there's probably more fucking in the Vatican than in Salt Lake. Probably a lot more. Anyway, Mom doesn't like it, that's why she's helicopter-momming Hunter and calling to set up job interviews without his consent.

And like I said before, this is where the story gets real Lifetime on us, with Mom talking about Hunter's entirely non-sex job like he's an alcoholic or a drug addict and this is an intervention.

I definitely have some questions about the pirate job. If we're talking movie or theater, that might be pretty cool, but it would be so much cooler if someone's hiring crew for a replica of the Queen Anne's revenge to terrorize rich people on their yachts in Lake Erie. It's probably disappointingly, a mascot job for a seafood restaurant or worse pirate-themed tax prep. "We be takin' deduction ARRR!"

Yes, he's deep undercover in Salt Lake City, trying to recover state secrets stolen by the Illuminati and hidden in the Mormon temple. Okay, that may not be as funny to you, but it's hilarious to me... after growing up with my Mormon mom, who's now a non-denominational pagan (ask me about her salt altars) who obsessively watches atheist YouTube channels. :P

Honesty, yes... that goes over great with Mormons who're so sexually repressed their sex organs have literally shrivelled up and become vestigial. Seriously, these people think kissing on the lips is a sin.

Oh! Hunter's family are mormon, wow... I sort of assumed they were the rare non-Mormon family in Utah... When I was younger, I think my mom's reaction to me being naked for money would have been on the order of apoplexy or a stroke. But I can certainly relate to the sleazy sales company -- I've been on a few of those interviews, even tried to work those jobs once or twice. Ugh! The only bright side there is that when you do eventually go to hell (and you will), the job will have prepared you for it.

Yes, an hour is a typical amount of training in a lot of telemarketing jobs, and they're just as evil as the door-to-door sales job. I'm pretty sure I saw Stabby's owner on the cast list page, so I guess not all the characters know each other.

Called it! I really wish it had been actual pirating on Lake Erie. :-(

Meta joke! It must be about a webcomic I haven't read. I have no idea why Panda-Joel works as a joke.

Anyway that story ends with Hunter getting a concession job at a movie theater to replace Luke (Joel) and the end of the tension with his mother is that the job is great because it's mostly at night and fits neatly into his existing schedule so he can work both jobs and save up to potentially move out. Mom appears stunned at the news, which I'm guessing is supposed to mean she's not entirely happy with him moving out (and we know she wasn't happy with the art-modeling job he's still keeping). So I think the "punchline" there was "be careful what you wish for". As a former Mormon, I can't tell you how Mormon that whole thing feels. It's all so... mundane and uncomplicated. I'd have tried to end that story with a more challenging, possibly even surreal punchline, like the introduction of Stabby.

Artist insert. There's usually a single-page joke between stories and they're all labelled "filler page #". This one is 28.

I like the fact that the whiteboard changes mid-scene when it's obvious nobody's touched it. It may have just been a callback to the haunted whiteboard from the previous story, but I just think it's a cool bit of meta humor in general. I did the same thing with writing on the walls of the women's bathroom in the Pit (hell's bar, run by Azrael, who's Grumpy Cat's dad).

Again, this is Salt "No Sex Period" Lake City.

And just like they have a prohibition on sex, they also have a prohibition on ... you know, fun.

Tricking your kids out of things they want is really the job of being a dad if we're being honest.

Like I said before, the strip seems to focus primarily on friend-and-family bonding, sort of a furry, colorized Leave It To Beaver. So if you like family-friendly sitcoms, give Furry Experience a look!

If you are a webcomic author and are interested in a review from me, you can check out my announcement and my review-request rules here.

If you enjoyed this and want to help me make more reviews, you can contribute on our Patreon or if you're short on funds you can also help by checking out and sharing my own comedy and laughtivist webcomic, Woohooligan!

Thank you for sharing yourself with us! Sam

[pink-history]

Happy 6th Birthday Willow!

Towards the end of 2010, there were many rumours going around the social media world that Pink and Carey were expecting their first child. Pink fans around the world were waiting on news to confirm the rumours as true or false and on 17th November 2010, Pink confirmed the news that she was expecting her first child on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

I’m eating for two these days

I’m terrified because she [doctor] thinks its a girl… my mom has always wished me a daughter just like me, I’m terrifed, one of us will go to jail.

Willow Sage Hart was born on 2nd June 2011. Pink took to Twitter to announce the news:

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Three weeks after Willow’s birth, Pink posted a note on her website…

To whomever cares:

We are absolutely blissed out in love over here! To our fans and friends all over the world, thank you for all of the prayers and well wishes throughout this time in our life! Carey is a natural, (I knew he would be) and I finally found out what love really means. Don’t worry, I’m not writing an album full of sappy lullabies. Not yet, anyways?

In the interest of full disclosure: (AND BECAUSE I TELL IT LIKE I SEE IT)

Due to the unsettling, surprisingly aggressive and unsafe measures that the paparazzi seem to be willing to go to in order to secure that “first shot” of our daughter–stalking us, chasing us in cars and sitting outside of our home all day and all night, as new parents Carey and I decided that we would release personal photos of our Willow, and donate all of the money to charity.

We will be donating the money to children’s’ charities, among them one of our favorites, the Ronald McDonald House, an organization that houses and cares for the families of sick children so they can be together during treatment, as well as Autism Speaks.

Like any parents, we believe our little girl deserves the right to have privacy and be protected, but unfortunately, this media climate doesn’t seem to provide for that. I feel so grateful that after many years of hard work, music and motorcycles have elevated both Carey and me to such a place that the public has supported us in building our life and lifestyle together. We recognize that celebrity has its upsides and downsides and do our best to manage just being people without hiring stylists and bodyguards before one of us goes to the store to buy some milk. I’ve seen some photos of myself that make me smile and some that make me less smiley. But you see, it’s one thing to harass and stalk us, the adults, the celebrity that signed up for this life, but children should be protected and safe. There should be a clear distinction between us.

In EVERY other country that I recall, children’s faces are blurred out in magazine photos. Why is USA the only country that continues to financially incentivize intrusive paparazzi behavior to capitalize on photos of babies, infants and children? Why is this acceptable to any of us? Why is this even legal? These are questions I ask myself as a new parent. Why are celebrities/public figures having to seek restraining orders to keep strange grown men with still and video cameras from sitting perched outside of their children’s pre-schools and elementary schools, preying on little innocent kids? After all, if a stranger was sitting outside of a school taking photographs of random little girls and boys, wouldn’t he be arrested? Or, at least in Philadelphia, he would have to face a more primal sort of recourse. But because it’s the child of a celebrity, somehow it’s okay? I’m just not sure what is wrong with us as a society, that we do more than tolerate this, but our appetite for it seems insatiable. We buy these pictures. We buy these magazines that publish these paparazzi pictures. WHERE DOES IT STOP?

Here’s the bottom line: we don’t want you to take our little girl’s picture. We don’t want you to one day follow our little girl home from school. We don’t want our little girl’s picture in a magazine or on a blog. If you take or publish her picture, it is against our wishes, and without our consent as parents, as people.

Carey and I are new parents. We know we have so much to learn in our new role and are thankful for the family and friends around us. Not a day goes by that we are not grateful to the universe and to our fans and friends who believe in us–and to our foes, too (our best teachers)–for the incredibly interesting privileged lives we get to live each day. But this is about our daughter who just got here. In the face of camera lenses as long as my arm and flashbulbs as bright as the sun, Willow is powerless. All she has to protect her is us. But that’s not all she has; she has you.

To anyone out there that buys a magazine, or goes onto a website to look at pictures of other people’s children, may you at least think for a second about what you may inadvertently be supporting. We are so appreciative that people are interested in seeing our daughter. We WANT to share our joys with you, but as parents (and new parents), we should be able to govern these decisions, shouldn’t we? And to be clear, I’m speaking directly to these “stolen” photographs–paparazzi photos.

So when you see our middle fingers up in all of our pictures, now you know the motivation. It’s all we can do to stop images of a newborn baby from being printed without our consent. Can you imagine a world where they would blur out our middle finger to protect a “consumer” over blurring out an innocent child to protect their integrity and privacy?

Thank you for letting me say my piece. Do I expect this letter to change the world? No. But if it plants a seed of awareness, if a politician or an activist or a legislator or a teacher or police officer is prompted to even think about it–let alone engage, I have done my part on behalf of my daughter. Not surprising that lesson one from me to my daughter is to let one’s voice be heard.

I’ve never shied away from a controversial opinion because of the fear of bad press. My music and my fans and I connect year after year because I talk TO them and, man, do they so beautifully talk TO me. This is such a meaningful dialogue in my life. To all of my friends out there, I love you and I appreciate your help with this, and this happy little family cannot wait to visit your countries again and play music and rejoice in all the beauty that we share and have shared together all over the world.

We’ll call it a playdate!!!!! Xoxoxoxoxooxoxox

Love, the new parents–learning as we go. ? kisses, besos.

P.S. baby poop really isn’t as bad as all the guys out there think. Careys’ already been pooed on, and he’s still breathing. Ahhhhh, ain’t love grand?

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Happy 6th Birthday Willow! Happy 6th Birthday Willow! Towards the end of 2010, there were many rumours going around the social media world that Pink and Carey were expecting their first child.

[librarieseverywhere]

on remembering

i wish i remembered to write down everything, like how Clem gets so comfortable in my lap sometimes that she rolls off, or how the shower smells so good right when you first turn the water on here. It’s probably one of the best showers we’ll ever have. 

Clem has diabetes, and it’s been hard. We’re still trying to get the insulin dose right, and the timing. She eats the food, now, and that is good. she’s put on a little weight, but she seems tired. I look at her and wonder if she’s older than we’ve thought. 

What are cats for, if not for noticing? if not for slowing down time and bringing you into the present moment? But how often do I sit with the cat purring in my lap, while I stare at my phone, scrolling through instagram. Still, she ties me to here. 

Like last summer, when B was out of town, and it was hot and sticky and I didn’t feel very good, and after I swam my laps at the pool, I came and laid on the couch and watched the week’s worth of Colbert episodes and Clem lay across me, and next to me for the whole time. 

Or the morning where she smashed into the window trying to get a bird, and jumped up, clinging to the window ledge, smashing a picture frame in the process. 

How about how every single morning she jumps up on to the bed with a little squeak and starts to nudge me awake? the sound of her footsteps on the stairs? the way she watches the birds out the back door, tail twitching? I want to soak it all in. I wish I recorded every moment, because while now it seems long, it won’t be. Someday, we’ll come to a day, when Clem is only in our memories. Now, when I think about the next 10 years, they loom large, but if I haven’t learned yet, they go, and soon you will be through them, on the other side. We forget to look back, only to the next 10 years from there. 

I’m only taking it a day at a time now, wishing more than anything to be on the other side of this. Still, it is my life. 10 weeks have passed this way. My trip is a distant memory. 

I thought of other things to record, and then i forgot, my mind jumps around so much, I’m always so scattered, I rarely follow through. I’m not so motivated when it comes to work or creativity - another form of work. I seek adventures and social outlets. I distract myself with pleasure. 

Though I love my work, and if I can get myself to dig in, my head swims with ideas that I can’t write down fast enough. The same with creativity - I have ideas. It’s not all crazy when I jealously stalk the journalists on Twitter- a part of me really believes I could do it. But I just don’t have the drive. 

I’ve been thinking about time, too, here, because what has been such a scary, stressful, grievous time in my short life, will surely be just a blip in the history books later. We won’t remember. The world will forget us, those who were not here will not care. 

I’ve never thought much about what it might have been like to live through the Depression or WWII. 

Why would anyone care that I couldn’t leave my house for 10 weeks? That we questioned everything - maybe some of us for the first time ?

We found out today that we’re moving - we’re excited, but as always, i’m sad, too. The house was good to us. It’s too good for us, hence the problem. The apartment will be “right-sized” and for that, we should be excited. a place we can afford on our own. 

sometimes, i forget to miss my life, to grieve, to pray, to hold a moment for those who are suffering the most, and for the life that could have been. sometimes, i’m consumed by it.

It’s memorial day weekend, but i won’t be wearing my vacation dress and setting off to camp. the energy isn’t there, not this year, because we have a stay at home order. my favorite holiday of the year. i’ve let it go. i’m not too sad about it. i’ve let is all go and just pray for a future where this isn’t a problem anymore. 

i’m supposed to pray for not going back to normal, but so much of what i want is monday night yoga and memorial day in virginia. I want my life from the last few years to be frozen in place, for no one to go anywhere. I want to tell these past years, “thank you” For Clem, for Andrea, for NYAPC, for Ellen, for Chris and Meredith, Gayle and Richard, the Pub and the People. Thank you for the vacation dress and Eckington and Mexico and Argentina. Thank you for live music and cook outs and healthy bodies. 

So clearly, I see now - I had everythign I ever wanted. My life was going up - my career was finetuning, my community was gathering, my dreams were there - lurking in the way i lived. 

we rush, even now, and i don’t sit with my thoughts. i don’t remember the tragedy around me. i get distracted and worried and agitated - about clem’s diabetes and money and moving and work and not working enough and being bored. 

I don’t write everything down - i had a poetic thought earlier that I wanted to write, poignantly, just drop it into a post and leave it. I forgot it, my mind now skimming frantically over the day. 

Something below the surface feels not quite right - and I’ll forget that nothing is quite right - that I should be wakng up on a schedule and riding my bike to Dupont and then coming home, maybe pretty tired, maybe sweaty, maybe with a million things to do, maybe after stopping for yoga or a play at woolly mammoth, or just a drink with a friend. 

those things seem impossible now, and they are. my days now are only tied to the time of the insulin injections - 8:15a and 8:15p. When would i go to dnner with friends? maybe we’ll live like this forever, after all. 

the world is still there, that’s what’s so strange. you can still call front royal canoe and make a reservation. you can take a walk and realize that all these other people are going to work, at the hardware store, the drug store, the Target, the Harris Teeter. They’re doing construction or rescheduling appointments at the dentist’s office. 

The deeper we get into this , the more we see how much we really can let go of, how little we need, how much we can detach. Another world is possible, indeed. They’ve gutted mine. Essential services are Netflix, FedEx, and Amazon. It’s uncanny. If I were the paranoid type, I might truly believe I was just a character in someone’s play brimming with sympolism and cultural critique. 

I got my teeth cleaned yesterday. Tomorrow I’ll vote, go for a run. The weekend stretches before us, tied only with the 8-8 rhythm. We’ll take the cat back to the vet Tuesday only to sit down to a condensed week. In a normal life, I might’ve taken Tuesday off - carpe diem! - salute the summer, and all that would have laid before me. 

I’m losing steam here, but I mind doesn’t feel done. like i’ve got so much more. I do. I need to pray - to say thank you and I’m sorry. I need to remember what sacredness is, to recite beloved poems and words, to hear them reverberate in me. Prayer, I know, is what makes me a more understanding, deeper person. Ocean Vuyong said something to the effect of what i always think - just going for a walk is my prayer - and so i say now - my rage, my sorrow, my joy, my anxiety, these are all my prayers. when i notice the trees, when i smile at my beloved cat, when i see a friend, when i hear a siren, when i wail with anger at the unfathomable circumstances we find ourselves in - these are my prayers - these are the moments of my life .There are only sacred and desacrated places. 

God, we are all you. You are in every detail, in all creatures, in every moment. Help me to slow down, to notice. That’s what love is. 

God, help me. Be with us - let this thing end. 

My work, too, gets in my head, and i think - shouldn’t i be learning more? doing more? becoming an expert in something? picking up a craft? demonstrating my creative side? prepping for a marathon? mostly i eat, but we’ve gotten tired of cooking. I read some, but we watch tv more. i shower when i don’t need to and i order things online that ship to my house. we complain and we fight. we’re here alone, without Ellen, and we miss her. We’ll miss this big old house. what we had was so fleeting, but it was good. 

I feel like my time has not been enough. like i should have done more. at least for work - learning more, trying more, building more, doing PD, and reading all the articles. i can barely see one day ahead. 

still i build in so much crap into my life - i keep busy and i forget to call my mother. i think about moving and vacation and gardens and take out food. I think about my 5 year plan and what i should do with my furlough time and what my research interests are and if i should apply for my PhD, now, and do it remote? would that be worth it? also, how do you make virtual experiences worth it? I should be trying to do interesting teaching strategies. 

I think about Clem and cat diabetes and new make up tips because I look at the internet too much. I wonder if my hair is getting uglier (it is) and if i should volunteer/help/donate money/send notes. i try to be good, but sometmes i forget to try, and then i just stare at my computer screen, flicking between twitter and email and blogs and maybe halfheartedly thinking about work, but at least i should have gotten up if i wasnt going to do any work. and then we watch tv. sometimes that’s all it is. sometimes i do online yoga or we skype a friend. sometimes we take a walk, but there’s nowhere to go. sometimes there are so many after work hours but i don’t call anyone or read my book or anything. sometimes, we go to bed and wake up late the next day. 

i should :

do my geography /sociology degree

a library degree

my Jon Batiste collage

learn to sing and play the banjo

read dozens of books and journal what i learn, really hold them in my heart

pray and pray and pray and contemplate and remember Roger and remember the Zapatistas and remember that my spirituality makes me more interesting, that my soul craves that connection in it’s core, that my love for NYAPC is huge, the place where 9th graders learn that God has no gender and that creation care is a critical part of being Christian. That politics are informed by our faith and that’s why we march and feed the hungry and demand clean air and clean water and a habitable future. 

i’m rambling. i’m hungry. so is clem. i’m sad we’re moving but happy to find another place i’m worried about money but we have plenty. i’m tired but don’t know what i’d do anymore anyway, or how to begin again. 

but maybe this, to vow again, to write, to pray, to contemplate, to share, to record. days and times and habits, they slip away and we don’t notice. 

like when i used to try and make smoothies - that was for a few years, but i don’t do that anymore. or when we used to eat bread and olive oil, like we did in spain, but somehow we stopped. nothing actually is constant - you learn that. i’m 33 and i remember being 23 both like it was yesterday and like that probably wasnt even me, just a movie i watched. i’m nostalgic for yesterday and 10 years ago and i wouldn’t change a thing and i wish i could try something totally different. it’s a mess, this whole thing, and i should at least make something beaiutiful out of it. like Mary Oliver, who knew to be joy and light anyway. 

[hub-pub-bub]

Maybe you just want to write a book and get it into people’s hands, but there are more dangers out there than you might realize.

To set the stage, I’ll go back to a recent event: the Amélie Wen Zhao controversy. You could be forgiven for not having heard about it, given that it’s only a big deal if you closely follow the world of young adult novels, and in particular the young adult communities on Twitter and Tumblr. I’ll do my best to summarize what happened.

Zhao is a young woman, born in Beijing, raised in Paris, educated in New York City and currently living there. She scored a 6-figure book deal with Delacorte Press, the first book of which was to be Blood Heir. Some reviewers got advance review copies. Then, a couple of things happened: Twitter user @LegallyPaige posted a tweet (since deleted) accusing Zhao of taking screenshots of tweets made by people who disliked her or her book, and of stalking and possibly harassing critics; marketing descriptions of the book, as well as tweets by advance reviewers like Ellen Oh, suggested that the book was racially insensitive as it focuses on an indentured servitude system with parallels to American slavery. There were also accusations of anti-blackness based on the treatment of a character who was racially ambiguous, at best, as well as talk of plagiarism that, as far as anyone who has read the book can tell, are not really credible.

Again, if you don’t run in these circles this might all sound like a pretty minor controversy–a mild storm that Zhao could easily weather. But YA Twitter doesn’t work that way. It is a microcosm of Twitter as a whole, dominated by clout-chasing “influencers” and full of cliques who follow what their preferred influencers say. If a book is presumed to be problematic, or the author presumed to be bad, it is a small matter to organize mass review-bombing on Goodreads, Amazon, or anywhere else one can have a say. If you speak out on behalf of someone accused in this way, you are inviting legions of opposing followers to come after you. The old adage is true: the only way to win is not to play the game.

Zhao herself chose not to play the game, as well. She wrote a thoughtful apology letter in which she announced the cancellation (or at least postponement) of Blood Heir. I’m not here to take issue with that decision, as it is a highly personal one. My purpose is to critique these cycles more generally.

All cards on the table: I’m a white man. I consider myself anti-racist as well as a feminist. I recognize the vast structural oppression that exist essentially everywhere, as well as the specific history of anti-black racism in the US. I am always on the side of social justice, which is why I think it’s necessary to call out the excesses of such movements.

For perspective, of course, in this case nobody died, nobody lost their livelihood. Zhao’s publisher stands by her and she will likely publish other books, and possibly Blood Heir itself after some revisions. What happened to her isn’t censorship, nor even what I would consider abusive. It’s more unfortunate than anything else.

What is concerning to me is the tendency to manifest an online mob on an extremely thin basis, and that the people who have large enough followings to spark these controversies know the power they wield, and don’t seem to have much sense of responsibility about it. Consider that this particular incident was sparked by an essentially anonymous accusation of screenshotting–an activity which is petty, at worst–and spiraled into allegations of racism.

As a writer, I do think it is very important to be sensitive to the issues of the world around me. It is entirely possible, even likely, to fall into unintentional racism or sexism. The best of intentions do not necessarily lead to a piece of writing that is free from the biases and inequities of our world. It is important to write mindfully, and to be careful not to reproduce oppressive cultural messages. This can take many forms, though. Some people object to depictions of racism, violence against women, and other horrors in the first place. Even if the purpose of portraying them is to critique them and make clear how awful those things are, there are readers who would rather not encounter such material in the first place. It is an understandable position to not want to read something like that, as it can mean having to face bigotry in fiction that you get enough of in your daily life. People who don’t want to read books like that are absolutely welcome not to!

Where I take issue is the idea that because someone doesn’t like a particular book, no one should be allowed to read it–that it should be withdrawn altogether. The comparisons to historically ineffective book bans apply pretty well here. In addition, it just seems like a big waste of energy. In a country where Donald Trump is President and is actively enabling literal Nazis to march in the streets and kill people, spending a lot of energy attacking a book that may not have anything all that wrong with it seems totally absurd. Yes, people can care about more than one thing at a time–but time and energy are finite resources.

I used the phrase “manufactured outrage” in the title, and that was with good reason. I have been around long enough to know that most of the time, these controversies are not drummed up out of a genuine concern for people who have been harmed, but to raise one’s own profile, and to demonstrate power as an influencer. (Note that all you really need to be an “influencer” is a lot of social media followers!) The emergence of the “#MeToo” movement, which has achieved some real accomplishments in terms of dislodging sexual predators from positions of power, has also put wind in the sails of online controversy-seekers. Everyone wants to be first in line to “cancel” the next “problematic” public figure. A writer faced with such a backlash might be inclined to simply ride it out, and hope the furor dies down after a few days. It usually does, but there is another problem: media coverage.

Only 15% of Americans actually use Twitter, and an even smaller share of those use it regularly. It would not have much influence over public debate except for one thing: it is massively popular among journalists and freelance writers, almost all of whom have column space to fill. Going out and investigating is difficult and expensive; mining Twitter for the latest clickbait topic, by comparison, is easy and free. Thus, these relatively tiny kerfuffles (consisting of a few hundred or a few thousand people, at most) get elevated to the level of national or even international discourse. Dozens of articles get written about online scuffles involving handfuls of people, and you’d think there was a real crisis brewing. The reality is just that journalists and freelancers tend to be Extremely Online (to use the Twitter jargon) and know that drama pulls clicks. This is a big part of the “manufacturing” of the outrage. We’re generally not talking about mass movements, here. “#MeToo” is a mass movement. “#Cancel[WriterOfTheWeek]” isn’t.

Another part of the “manufacturing” is that these outrages often emerge from circles that are not just insincere, but actively malevolent. Imageboard site 4chan and *chan sites of similar formats have forums where the entire point is identifying targets and organizing social media outrage against them. They tap into social justice circles and plant whisper campaigns that a particular person is problematic in some severe way–maybe the target is a sexual predator, or plagiarized parts of their book. If this can get picked up by a prominent influencer, the mob does the rest. Likewise, infighting is fomented by inventing wedge issues, a couple recent examples being “Santa shouldn’t be a man” and “pedophiles belong in the LGBT+ umbrella.” Yes, those are real things stirred up by bad actors and I did not make them up.

The point of all this is that it can be easy and exciting to focus on drama, to be an active participant in fomenting it. It might even feel good to play a role in getting someone to pay penance for their perceived wrongdoing. But it’s hard to say that any of it makes the world a better place, or actually serves any of the causes social justice is meant to. In Zhao’s case, one would think that her identity as an immigrant, a woman, and a person of color would bless her with the benefit of the doubt–but those things are instead liabilities, as she is held to a much higher standard than, say, the middle-aged white men who churn out sexist drivel every year.

A common piece of writing advice is to simply ignore critics. Critics will always find something to hate–it is essentially their job. That’s still true, to a great extent. It is sometimes necessary to publicly respond to criticism, but the best way to handle that is to take the high road. Let people know that they are heard and you are taking their advice into consideration–and then, decide for yourself what that means, and how it should change your work, if at all.

If you write a book condemning injustice, and people attack you and say you aren’t condemning it correctly, odds are there’s not actually anything wrong with your book–just the people doing the attacking.

Post written by J. D. Huffman so direct all fanmail to him <3

[kandadiff]

Updates - Kay Snow part 1

I’m redoing yours and making it longer - 

Many of you will know Kay Snow as the leader of the famous girl group Trinity, in which her and her two cousins (Adi Snow & Bri Snow) rocked the world with there very unique sound. 

Or maybe you know her as the leader and main singer of her extremely popular (#1 worldwide) girl group The Sirens, name any of the sirens and they are all household names. Plus Kay and Adi snow videos are hilarious literally go on youtube and watch there videos it makes me laugh every time. Or do you recognize her as Harley Quinn, or Serena from the I Spit on Your Grave movie franchise or even her solo album Dark Paradise.

Anyway lets dive in, so another thing Kay is known for is her various public realtionships, first linked with Liam Payne former 1d member, actor Damien Thorne and many others. However it was her relationship with actor and producer Negan Morgan. They met on the set of the Left for Dead during season 4 and 5 when she was a recurring character as Lana, Negans love interest. And like many actors these two went from co-star to couple coming out during the after show after Lana’s death scene. 

Holy shit did this not go over so well with fans, the Left for Dead fans loved it (theyre couple was the most popular on the show), but some of Kay Snows fans gave her a lot of flack for the 20 yr age difference. A few celebrities even chimed in against it. Wendy Williams calling it “shameful, what could a little girl have in common with a man like him?”, Bri Snow agreeing calling him a “cradle-robber.” and like always Azealia banks took to twitter trying to denounce there relationship saying it was “f**king gross but I guess that someone with no talent needs a sugar daddy to pay for her. I bet she was pimped herself out to him for Fire.” (Fire being the third album of The Sirens). 

Both Negan and Kay came back at her both posting a picture with both of the sticking up the middle finger with the caption “I’m happy deal with it.” and then tweeted back at Banks, Shangela’s famous sugar daddy speech from Rupauls Drag Race and went on to co-write one of her most famous solo albums Off to the Races which describes her and Negans relationship mixed with there characters in Left for Dead. 

Anyway despite opposition from others they stayed together for quite a bit considering Hollywood romances don’t last every long. Even going to the Caribbean together for vacation soon after that he went back to Left for dead and Kay and the Sirens went on the Playing with Fire world tour, which I went to it was amazing! Loved the show for real get tickets to them you wont regret it. . But nothing gold can stay and around them being together for three years they split up. Some people specuated it was because of Kay’s friendship with footballer Maximus Valente since they were seen out shortly after at disco style club Studio 54. She addressed it later on an episode of Ellen saying “Max, didn’t cause anything. Sometimes things just don’t work out the way you plan, sometimes things happen but that doesn't mean I love Negan any less. He’ll always be apart of my life.”

And to move on from her relationship she moved out of her own house and bought a new one which is where Kitty and the Sirens wrote the singles Dirty Harry, Clint Eastwood and Pity Party. 

6 months after her breakup she was seen getting in a fight with ex-one direction member on the street in front of The To Anyone Entertainment building, during the fight Louis grabbed her and tried to drag her into into a car all while they are yelling at each other and cursing and hitting and this is all being filmed and everything - right here, the video is pretty crazy like youd think after being told to leave her alone he would- nope. So he got a restraining order on him and it turns out he had been harassing and stalking her for months previous to the fight and that day it all came to a head. She also sued but the argument was settled before it went to court. 

When asked about it during a interview with Thomas Valentine “Louis and I were good friends during the one direction days especially when Trinity was new and I was learning about the industry from someone I thought I could trust. But I was young and foolish and let him get away with a lot of things that were sort of red flags because I thought he was my friend. But he took advantage of me and my kindness and I believed in him and his empty promises. I caught on more when he couldn’t rely on Liam to hide behind and told him to (bleep) off he didn’t take it well and really started to … harass me with constant calls and visits and I thought it was over but his family  owned more then half of To Anyone Entertainment and I was supposed to act like he wasn’t doing what he was doing and sweep it under the rug as nothing and in return he was supposed to leave me alone especially in the building. He did not listen which is why a lot of the music writing and recording was not in building however Louis isn’t stupid and only did it around people he knew he could get away with it around, he rarely did it around Edward, Draven, William or Negan or Max because he was afraid of them that's why I was always around them and no matter how much I yelled at him or cursed him or even hit him he wouldn’t stop. He even had the nerve to write that song Addiction about me and I know its about me because when it came out he wrote me this like 14 page letter discussing how every lyric reflected his thoughts about me … I guess im grateful for that considering after the judge read it the restraining order was practically done by then.” Holy hell, the hate Louis received after that made him delete his all of his social media and a few assholes came after Kay saying she was making it all up but the Cat Crew backed the main Cat Girl up, including Adi Snow who called Louis out and said her story was all true. 

To bring out the new year Maximus Valente announced his relationship with Kay snow on a cute Instagram video at a beach party thrown by fellow teammate player Romeo Popov. That is where Max and Kay became the couple goals we all know them to be. Seriously they are so cute together and by the way so good together can I just say. However another scandal rocked this girl during the filming of Harley & Ivy, where Kay played Harley Quinn, a sex tape featuring Kay and Liam leaked online from someone to have claimed to been an inside source having been taken years earlier. 

A few people on twitter took to talking about it almost right away trouble maker Azealia Banks claims she was cheating on Maximus and was “a dirty bitch with an even dirtier p*ssy.” Camilla Cabelo liking the tweet and @ Liam then Bri Snow tweeting “Just waiting for this drama # GotMyPopcorn.” Liam tweeted back saying “That was filmed a long time ago, she isn’t a cheater, I am not a cheater and honestly its obvious it was a long time ago, both her and I have gotten tattoos since then and I don’t know how it was leaked but the hate is completely unnecessary. Its not a secret, we were a couple but this video is one we meant to keep private so please just respect us enough to not send us hate about it.” Finally able to get to social media Kay addresses the video in a video of her own. “Liam said it perfectly, the hate is stupid and clearly given most of my tattoos are missing and my hair is shorter and red in the video I mean really guys? I obviously never wanted it to get out and it is an incredible invasion of privacy but its out now so just be kind to Liam and I and be kind to Maximus and Liams partner.”

However the sex tape scandal faded as The Sirens announced there highly successful I Am The Best Album and following world tour and even had two remixes of the songs as a distrack of I am the best and Ddu du ddu du to those who have come for them, Kay addressing Camilla, Bri Snow and Azealia in the remixes. That amazing ass album went platinum and they deserved it. It was amazing!

During the Sirens hiatus following Makayla Arrabah’s pregnancy announcement a video that all Malyn shippers saved to look at forever came out of Maximus proposing to Kay in cute little restaurant in Greece during there vacation. Oh my god my heart hurt it was so sweet! This was a really sweet time by the way because within this year period Makayla gave birth, Adi and Edward became an official couple, the new Wonder Woman movie starring Draven came out and Katya’s solo album Diamonds came out. 

The dream couple got married in October of that year near the couples favorite holiday (Halloween)  and in Maximus’ home country of Italy in a beautiful ceremony captured by Maid of Honor Adi Snow and Best man Romeo Popov. The wedding was supposed to be private but since both the bride and the groom had star studded guest list paps actually had people trying to break in to the venue. 

For their there honeymoon (after football season) these cuties went back Greece and enjoyed there little vacations, Maximus’s Instagram is filled with pictures like this. The year following there honeymoon she was pretty free from scandal and stayed pretty out of the magazines, working closer and closer with Edward Styles actually directing the film style music videos for his Album Abyss and starring as the Demon of Fame in the music video My Darling and this was also the time Real Time with the Snows the reality show about the snow family. It mostly revolves around her mothers side of the family and the constant drama around them.

But it was on an episode, now famous for revealing Kay’s pregnancy, which Kay was staying at her moms house and when her mother and Eva were coming back from the nail salon and a 6-month pregnant Kay was with Tyler and Adi in the kitchen complaining at who was eating her Rocky Road Ice Cream. And the fans went crazy after that aired all her social media was flooded with questions about her pregnancy and a few people actually sent her more Rocky Road Ice Cream. She and Maximus confirmed they were expecting twins and didn’t want to jinx anything that's why they waited to confirm the pregnancy. 

2months later they gave birth to there twins a boy and a girl. Apollo Romeo Valente. 

And Annabel Lee Valente aka Ella. These kids are the freaking cutest! So she really took a break from performing and got into the producing aspect of things directing a lot of To Anyone’s singers videos including Edward Styles, William, Kitty and the boy group Millennium and even helped recruit new talent for the Agency. She even traveled with the kids to start a To Anyone agency in South Korea. 

During the next 2 years Kay was pretty much exempt from scandal and worked on the horror/ thriller revenge tale I Spit On Your Grave as Serena Lorelai. So okay I love kay but I held off watching it because I heard it has a lot of gore and I’m a big baby when it comes to that but I finally watched it and holy shit its amazing! Like it is just a woman taking charge after 5 men do some really fucked up stuff to her and oh my god it was so good! Like I bought it on iTunes and watch it every two months like its a great movie for real. 

However, tragedy struck my favorite people shortly after something kay described as “the worst moment that ever happened to me.” Kay was spending time with a heavily pregnant Adi and the kids in her house when the news came on. Drunk driver struck celebrities limo all being rushed to the hospital. The limo was for Edward Styles bachelor party and in it was William Tomlinson, Harry and Marcel Styles, Stephen James, Robert and Andrew Hood, Ian Payne, Maximus Valente and Billy Hargrove. All besides Andrew Hood were seriously injured. The scene around the hospital was ridiculous, so many paparazzi and fans crowded the hospital not only because of the news but also because the news caused Arianna snow to go into labor a few days early. Sadly, Edward Styles, Maximus Valente and Robert Hood passed away just a day later. I can’t begin to imagine the pain these poor people felt and no one got out of that car crash unharmed. William has a metal pins in his legs since both were broken, Stephen has a slight limp when he walks, Ian and Billy both have scars where they had to get surgery, Harry had to have surgery on his arm and Marcel’s wrist still aches when it rains. 

The three funerals were held within a couple of days of each other but all of them were so beautiful and heartbreaking, so many people came to the funeral and so many pictures were taken. You can see she just looked so sad delivering the eulogy and Ella and Apollo even ran on stage with her when she started crying. 

In the following months Adi moved in with Kay and both found inspiration in there tragedy and while Adi was writing her Album For Him Kay co-wrote the songs and directed the beautiful cinematic music videos Dark Paradise, Like You’ll never see me again (I cry every time I hear that song) and You Found Me. She said writing and counselling really helped her get back out into the public and she slowly began to preform the songs live and began to go on social media again and became the face of Kyle Couture’s X! Line. 

Then our leader headed to Asia at the request of Got7′s Jackson Wang and BTS’s RM both wanted to help write/produce the sirens newest album and they actually started one of the most successful collaborations between Korean artists with the song Oh Yeah!, Oh Nana (ft. Suga), and E.T. Like if you thought this woman was popular in asia before, this boosted her appeal out there by like 1000%. Actually Big Hit and JYP offered her a job as a producer to help create new girl groups for the company. With plenty convincing from both sides she decided to take the job with Big Hit and with RM helped create the girl group Dream. It was the closeness of the way both boys (Jackson and RM) acted with Kay during interviews, the constant inst pictures with the twins and how fondly they spoke of her, the fact that Jackson just straight up said he loved her and RM saying that she was an inspiration for the song DNA, that made many fans speculate whether kay was dating either boy and between the internet fans it actually started a sort of war between the two fandoms, shipping #Kackson or #Kayjoon. 

Fans went real stalkerish during this time practically analyzing everything about Kay and these two boys, any pictures or interview that was made about them people analyzed. Half of Kays fans (and GOT7 stans) favored Jackson from the simple fact that hes always been close to her even before she met RM. They met through former Miss A member Jia and have been good friends ever since. Plus everyone knows he’ s like amazing with kids and Ella and Apollo seem to get along with him very well. Plus this sneaky boy is always posting pictures of the five of them (including his super cute dog) with the family emoji.

The case for Namjoon was that they clearly work so well together, even building a girl group and the long nights they have to pull together and on interviews they seem to be good friends. Plus he’s crazy smart and clearly cares for her, even on BTS TV he watched Ella and Apollo a few times and its honestly adorable how cute he is with them. Plus everyone can see how respectful he is of Kay. And this boy includes her in everything, Jungkook even joked they should just get a spare room for her at the house. 

During Dreams highly successful debut stage and first mini album Kay stepped back for a moment and headed back to the States to return to Left For Dead season 9 returning as Lana. However, both Namjoon and Jackson posted them still facetiming and fans from both sides of the argument demanded or begged or pressured her to pick one but Kay stayed illusive about her relationships with the boys. The views for the Left for Dead episode where Lana came back was highly rated and a few people thought that Negan and Kay would get back together especially since the chemistry was 100% for real like I loved it, it was steamy af. She actually received an Emmy for her performance as Lana a few months later and during this time Kay was seen out more and more with her children and her left for dead costars but many people focused on her outings with Negan but what kills me is that she was never just them two in these outings all her pictures Adi or Shawn were by her. 

Unfortunately for Kay just a week before the Emmy’s in which she was nominated for best guest actress as Lana Rhodes, she suffered from an armed break-in in her Los Angela’s home. The upcoming description is from what she said in interviews and released police reports, testimonys and her 911 call.  At approximately 4:30 am, Louis Tomlinson, former One Direction member broke in through the laundry room of Kay Snow’s LA home with a gun with a silencer, while Kay, Apollo and Ella slept upstairs. Louis then got out laundry room and headed upstairs while Hades, Kay’s German Shepard Dog awoke from his sleep and presumably found Louis as he exited the laundry room, he let out a few barks that alerted Kay and was silenced when Louis shot him and dragged his body into the laundry room. Quickly cleaning up the blood with his sweatshirt when Kay walked downstairs, he hid once again in the laundry room until he heard the girl walk back upstairs. As soon as she went upstairs, Louis exited the laundry room and made his way upstairs and into Kay Snow’s room and proceeded to watch her sleep until she awoke at 6:30 where as soon as her alarm went off he hid in her closest and she went into the bathroom and as she was headed into the hallway he sprung out and grabbed her. She fought back but he threatened her with the gun if she screamed and told her to do her morning routine as normal because “this is the new normal.” 

Kay proceeded to get her children ready for school, packing Ella and Apollo’s lunch while Louis watches and “he kept staring at the kids and he folded down every picture I had around the house of Max saying he was going to replace them all and when he was taking down the portait of Max and I, I wrote the note and sent the kids off.” In both Ella and Apollo’s lunches Kay wrote notes to there teachers both saying ‘Please call 911 and send them to my house SOS -Kay S.’ “I found Hades [her dog] and I was crying while I was cleaning him up, but he was so far gone he didn’t care or notice he took away my phone and every half an hour he was putting something up his nose, he was high out of his mind and waving that gun around. He was trying to test, see if I would fight him like I did before. I couldn’t- this time I had kids to think about. It was terrifying, he was ranting and raving how we were going to get married and how I was going to change mine and my kids named to Tomlinson. Just crazy shit like that and when the cops got there finally it got worse.” There was a standoff with the cops for 9 hours, where Louis held her hostage. Media went crazy, Adi Snow cutting her world tour short when she heard what happened. Louis then announced that if they cant live happily “then we can’t live at all.” He then proceeded to cook a dinner for him and kay lacing her drink with a sedative which “He didn’t notice I saw him put whatever it was in there and as soon as he set it down in front of me I threw It in his face and ran, that’s when he started shooting his gun, so I ran as fast as could upstairs and I went into the nearest room. Ella’s. I locked the door and I heard him coming up the stairs while shooting the gun. I was trying to climb out of the window but he shot off the lock and grabbed me back in and just kept hitting me with the gun. Then he dragged me downstairs and that’s when the swat team came in.”

[amazingviralinfo]

As the all-female ‘Ghostbusters’ cast and Hillary Clinton fight rampant online criticism, Ellen invites them on her show for some good old-fashioned daytime TV rehab.

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When theres something strange (sexism!) in the neighborhood, when theres something weird (online trolls!) and it dont look too good, who you gonna call?

When you need some brightly lit damage control and a worrisome narrative to redirect, who you gonna call? Ellen!

Served up as a buffet feast for online critics who, according to fans and supporters, have launched gender-based attacks against them, both the all-female cast of Ghostbusters and Hillary Clinton appeared on Ellen Thursday afternoon.

As the objections of Ghostbusters purists incensed at the idea of a reboot of the classic film with all-female cast members reached a critical pointtheir Internet megaphone has sprayed the summer blockbuster with noxious negative buzz and reportedly sent Sony into crisis mode ahead of its July releasethe films stars appeared together on TV for the first time, dutifully drowning out some of those less positive headlines with fawning over how funny they were on DeGeneress show. 

Hillary Clinton herself joins the talk show host in a bit of an inauspicious position. Shes all but certain to win her partys presidential nomination, which would see her leveling her policy expertise against Donald Trump, but her approval ratings are at a historic low for a presidential frontrunner. And so she finds herself grinning and bearing (and who knows, maybe even having some genuine fun!) a game of Would You Rather? on TV.

Hillary Clinton likes Beyonc everyone! Future presidents, theyre just like us. They, to quote Clinton, really believe in making lemonade out of lemons. Or, at the very least, know better than to say they dont like Beyonc on national TV.

Whether or not she intended it to be a firing shot, DeGeneress welcome to the Ghostbusters cast was a powerful one. I cant imagine a different cast for a Ghostbusters! she said as stars Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon, and Leslie Jones sat down on the couch.

She, presumably, meant it as a deserving compliment to the murderers row of Hollywoods funniest actressesa potentially lethal comedy combination when gathered together for Paul Feigs (Bridesmaids, Spy) gender-flipping spin on the 1984 film.

But the problem for so many of the films critics, sight unseen (theres not even been a press screening yet), is that they literally cant imagine a different cast for Ghostbusters.

The Fab Four of Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, Ernie Hudson, and Dan Aykroyd is so untouchable that any film in the franchise without them in the leads destroys the films legacy, betrays the spirit of nerds-will-rise guy comedy that fans hold so dear, and ruins childhoods for those who never want to hear the word Ghostbusters without thinking about the original cast.

Theres an underlying misogyny that many (including The Daily Beasts Jen Yamato) have pointed out to this: Why cant girl movie fans experience the same watershed satisfaction of watching hilarious female scientists battle the supernatural that nerdboys had in the 80s? And the presumption that the film will be an abomination purely because of the clever, progressive casting conceit assumes that the women arent talented enough to make a worthwhile reboot.

Anyway, thats all been written about exhaustively, to the point that Sony is starting to actively combat it, starting with posting the films second trailer on Facebook, rather than YouTube, in what The Hollywood Reporter characterized as a deliberate effort to combat a cacophony of negative reaction emanating from a very vocal minority online. (That minority had bullied the trailer into being the worst-reviewed of all-time.)

Putting the cast on Ellen to combat the critiques with their humor and charisma, and leveraging them against the spotlight of Clintons appearancedespite the former secretary of states own issues with polarizationseems to be phase two of the plan.

As far as a promotional appearance goes, the cast could not have been armed with a more effective slime to wipe out their critics. They were hysterical.

Melissa McCarthy joked about how she got cast in the film: I just kept stalking back and forth in front of Pauls house. I can do it! What about McCarthy? 

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Leslie Jones revealed that she was a telemarketer for Scientology before she became famous: It was an easy interview. I just acted crazy. Kate McKinnon said her weirdest pre-fame job was a Little League umpire. Kristen Wiigs answer: I was an umpire for a Scientology baseball team. As the audience ate. it. up., she looked sheepish that her answer wasnt as strange. I sold peaches at a farmers market, she shrugged.

McCarthy even slyly assuaged some of the Ghostbuster purists biggest fears, clarifying that its not a remake or a sequel, but a reboot. With all the love we have of the original ones, were taking it with new people and new circumstances, she says. DeGeneres then seemed to confirm what had already been speculated, that most of the original cast will appear in the film. 

Did I give that away? she apologized, when the cast seemed shocked at the reveal. Lets storm out! McCarthy joked. They then played a game of heads up that had McCarthy and Wiig bumping and grinding on each other, and the world laughed. 

In fact, a scan of Twitter as the episode aired in New York revealed a break from the incessant vitriol and not gonna see this garbage obstinacy that typically populates the #Ghostbusters hashtag. Obviously, nothing will validate the film and its all-female concept like proof that its actually good when its released. But a gut-busting Ellen appearance seemed to at least redirect the conversation toward the casts talent, which is a win for sureeven if a fleeting one.

Whether Clinton was successful or not, as always, is more complicated.

It shouldnt matter (and yet it always does) but Clinton looked spectacular, dressed in a creme-colored top, navy plants, and a relaxed, confident visage that radiatedis that why yes it is!some real warmth. 

She tackled the expected talking pointsBernie staying in the race, the meanness of the campaign, Trumps issues with womenand confronted them with the usual brew of superficial bite and infallible, if not exactly rousing, logic.

On Sanderss refusal to leave the race: I think he has to do what he chooses to do. I understand that. I ran all the way to the end against Senator Obama. When it was over, because we had a much closer race than the one between Senator Sanders and myself, I endorsed him.

On the meanness of the campaign: Im so tired of it. Im so tired of the meanness and the insulting and the finger-pointing and the scapegoating... We oughtta show respect for each other. We oughtta work together. 

And on Trumps insistence that he will be better on womens issues when the general election starts: I would need more information, based on what Ive heard him say. He has been derogatory about women. He has called women by name and insulted them. He doesnt think that equal pay is a real issue Im sure there is somebody somewhere that he would be good for. But overall there is no evidence that he has an understanding of what womens lives would be today.

She expressed the same amount of surprise she always musters when DeGeneres asked if shes surprised that Trump has lasted this long, ticking off his laundrys list of campaign offenses and outlandish, arguably problematic claims, eventually insisting that, Once the seriousness of the general election really hits people he has to start being held accountable.

Then came the fun part, the PR rehab part, the like me, please like me part. And you know what? Though still ridiculous and barely able to disguise instances of panderwhich were no doubt theorized about on Twitter immediatelyit was the most successful of the silliness shes been tasked with weathering in the long slog towards relatability.

DeGeneres staged a game of Would You Rather where shed choose between two famous people shedjokingly, of course!choose as a running mate.

Actor Tony Goldwyn from Scandal had a good showing, as did George Clooney. Sticking to those talking points, Hill! Yes, these are indeed two things you have publicly expressed liking. 

She fawned over Leonardo DiCaprio, Beyonc, and Michelle Obama. She made an aww-worthy comment about needing Chelsea Clinton as her support system more than a running mate.

Weve come a long way since Bill Clinton blared that sax on Arsenio Halls show, and Hillary Clinton is, as is her eternal lot, lying in a bed of her husbands making. Whos to say if Clinton actually enjoys these diversions, or if shes as increasingly frustrated with them as we expect her to be. But the fact of that matter is, at least, shes getting better at them.

As the celebrity PR machine continues to turn to the reigning queen of daytime, DeGeneres once again proves her worth. In the battle between online trolls and their female targetsthis time at leastEllen doesnt just merit the call. Put her on speed dial.