#i spent the last few hours working on this post and im still not satisfied with it
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mayonaka-mizu · 2 months ago
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a bit of self reflection…
i feel so confident that for the first time in my life i’m gonna be able to lose the w3!ght. i’ve tried on and off my ENTIRE LIFE and it’s never stuck.
but now i have the tools i need to do this right.
- i’ve had years of therapy
- i’ve finally been diagnosed and medicated for ADHD, which not only helps suppress my appetite but has greatly increased my impulse control! this means logically thinking through what f00ds im gonna eat is a whole lot easier and im not just b!nge!ng because i can’t control myself. the diagnosis has also helped me get a better understanding of how my brain works and what works for me. i have never been more in tune with myself than i am now.
- i have grown and changed so much over the last few years. i have finally proven to myself that i am capable of positive change, having that knowledge makes me feel confident that i wont give up or fall back into old habits like i always did in the past. i know i can change!
- i am finally properly medicated! i have antidepressants which also act as anti-anxiety, and i have ADHD meds. im more focused than i’ve ever been, and im more emotionally secure and regulated that i’ve ever been. i can still have bad days but like 97% of the time i am absolutely chilling and having a great time being alive. i no longer have any reasons for emotional eating! and when hard times do come up, i am able to work through it on my own and not turn to something to comfort me (besides, like, my bf- but he’s not f00d so it’s fine)
- i have dismantled my previous views about food from growing up and i found the root of why i 0ver3at. this has allowed me to find ways of avoiding that and still getting the same satisfaction as i would from 3at!ng (i.e. texture, why a high volume is so satisfying to me, etc.)
-i buy my own groceries now! i go f00d shopping on my own time and, while i do still live at home, im an adult so no one monitors what im 3at!ng, when, or what f00d im even buying bc it’s my own money. 5 days out of the week im at work for 9-10 hours a day so most of my day is spent not even being around f00d. if i don’t bring anything to work then i don’t 3at anything at work, it’s easy!
i have successfully worked through all of the root causes that caused me to get to where i am now, and for the first time i am attempting 4n4 with all these tools. i know i am EXTREMELY lucky to have had all these opportunities at my disposal, i know therapy and medication isn’t always an option for everyone, so this is by no means a “this is what you need to do to succeed” post because i still haven’t actually succeeded. but all these reasons are motivators for me. since i’ve worked through all root causes there is absolutely no excuse for me to not do this successfully. if i can’t do this, i have nothing else to blame it on other than my self discipline and work ethic. all of my excuses are invalid now, they have all been addressed. so if i can’t do this than that means i deadass just didn’t work hard enough. and that would fucking suck, right?
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daphuu · 5 years ago
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I hope you don't mind me asking but how did you know you were asexual? I think I might be but I don't know... like maybe I'm just confused and it's not like I ever tried it? You don't have to answer if the question is too private or something
Hi hiii!! No, I certainly don’t mind you asking! Okay, I’m going to answer this ask as thoroughly as I can for you, anon!! Let’s break down your questions—
“How did you know you were asexual?”
My journey to realizing my asexuality was a bit unusual compared to most stories I hear. I’m 25 now. When I was figuring this stuff out, I was just hearing about genders and sexualities for the first time. I didn’t know asexuality was a thing until I was in college (around six or seven years ago—did I mention that I’m old?).
My journey began when I was 14. I saw people kissing and going gaga over people of the opposite gender. I’m going to make a numbered list so you can see my thought process in order, and how I sort of “moved” through several sexual self-identifiers.
Boys are gross. Totally a lesbian!!
But hey I think I like guys? Maybe I’m straight??
Both are pretty equal, actually. Bisexual?
More genders?? What’s this? And I’m attracted to them all the same amount, so?? Pansexualllllll~!!! (And at the time “bisexual” was much more limited than “pansexual,” or so my uneducated self thought!)
Well, yeah, I’m attracted to them all the same amount, but it turns out that amount is “barely existent at all.” Asexual.
Romantic attraction is different from sexual attraction? What?? So!! Panromantic. Asexual and panromantic. Yes!!!!
This process took me around six to seven years during which my poor parents were getting whiplash and my friends weren’t taking me (or my sexuality) seriously much anymore. My mother still calls me a lesbian, though I think that’s more about the stupid jokes we make than anything else. The process included me sleeping with a lot of people mostly out of curiosity. What was it like with a girl? With a boy? With people who identify as both, neither, anything in between and outside those restrictions? I realized I was having sex not because I wanted the person I was sleeping with but because I wanted sex. I wanted the intimacy of sex. I still do. I am not sex-repulsed, though you might find a lot more of that in the asexual community than in other areas of the sexual attraction rainbow.
(Sex-repulsed: when someone finds the idea of being involved in sex absolutely abhorrent and repulsive. These people tend to go one of two ways: never have sex and live with the repulsion, or try to work through that repulsion with their significant other. Both options are equally valid. There may be other paths for these people that I’m unaware of—if you think you might be sex-repulsed, please do more research and collect more information that what I’ve provided here!!)
Liking sex was a huge blow to me when I realized I was asexual. I didn’t think I could be asexual and like sex. I didn’t really know a lot about asexuality. I cried when I first fell in love after realizing my asexuality. Could I never have sex again? Were asexuals allowed to love? I didn’t know.
I started researching. I needed answers. Who am I? What are my limits? How does being asexual affect my day-to-day interactions with people? Do I need to tell people I’m asexual so they don’t lust after me? Are people allowed to lust after me? It took me about a year to realize that love is “allowed.” It took me a few months longer to realize that sexualities don’t “limit” people. I came to the idea that people lusting after me wasn’t something I could control, and I genuinely didn’t give a fuck whether people knew I was ace or not. What would they do with the information? What did it matter to them? To me?
It didn’t matter. It still doesn’t. I have no limits. I’ve felt sexual attraction before. I’ve looked back through my past. Asexuality isn’t limited by whether I’ve had sex or whether I’ve wanted sex or whether I’ve ever felt sexual attraction before.
“I think I might be [asexual] but I don’t know...”
Alright, the worst part about asexuality is trying to figure out if you feel sexual attraction or not. Some asexuals feel sexual attraction and still identify as ace (like myself, who feels sexual attraction towards my romantic partners after a while—though this, too, I often mistake with the desire to be intimate rather than sexually desiring my partners). First, let’s look at asexuality a little differently for a moment. People often refer to the “spectrum” of asexuality, but what does that really mean?
Now, I’m certainly no expert on every form and shape of asexuality. I’ll do my best for you, anon! Let’s look at some sexual orientations the term “asexual” encompasses.
Asexual Spectrum & Terms
Straight Up Ace As Fuck (commonly known as “asexual”): never feels sexual attraction. Ever. Pretty straightforward, really. Also the generic term greys
“Grey-A” (or “grey(s)”): rarely but occasionally might feel sexual attraction. Known as the “grey area” of the asexual spectrum. Fits anyone between asexual and allosexual (not asexual). Might identify with other sexualities as well. (There are many variations of this, but since I’m not gray-a I really don’t feel comfortable delving into it too deeply.)
“Demisexual” (also called “demi(s)”; also, me!!): Someone who doesn’t generally feel sexual attraction until after forming a strong romantic bond with someone. For example, I sometimes feel sexual attraction towards my romantic partners. I seldom feel sexual attraction towards anyone when I’m not in a strong, stable relationship with them.
“Allosexual” (aka “allo(s)”): someone who isn’t asexual. That’s the easiest one, in my opinion.
So there’s a whole spectrum here—mostly ranging from “I feel no sexual attraction ever” to “I feel some sexual attraction sometimes” to “I feel some sexual attraction in a very specific situation” to “I feel more than ‘some’ sexual attraction!” You could fall anywhere in this spectrum of sexuality. While allosexual isn’t under the asexual spectrum, it is a term found mostly when talking about the asexual spectrum.
To make matters even more confusing, there’s also romantic attraction. Romantic attraction is very different from sexual attraction. Romantic attraction is wanting to romantically be with/date somebody. Sexual attraction is wanting to sexually be with/fuck somebody. Do you see the difference there?
Romantic attractions follow the same prefixes as sexual attractions. “Homoromantic” is to feel romantic attraction toward members of the same sex or gender. Likewise, biromantic, panromantic, and aromantic, etc., all have correlating meanings. Some people identify as ace/aro, and that means they’re aromantic and asexual. They feel little to no romantic or sexual attraction towards other people. I identify as ace/pan—asexual (demi) and panromantic.
You can feel romantic attraction without feeling sexual attraction (and vise versa—aro/bi, for example). You can crave romantic intimacy but not want the sexual part of a relationship. You can crave strong friendships instead of romantic relationships. You can have strong sexual desires without wanting a romantic relationship. The attractions you might feel are limitless and may vary with time.
“...like maybe I'm just confused”
Most people are confused, anon. If you aren’t completely sure about your sexuality, well, nobody is rushing you to figure it out. For a long while I just gave a vague shrug when people asked about my sexuality and laughed it off. Who knows? Who cares? Certainly not me. Don’t think that just because you aren’t 100% certain about your sexuality that you aren’t just as valid as the people who are. Honestly, it’s more than fine to say things like “I’m still figuring it out,” or “I haven’t fully explored my sexuality yet.” Don’t stress about it, anon. I know that trying to understand your sexuality can be as frustrating as taking a university-level math exam with only the most basic of grasps on mathematics. Just know that as you live and learn and grow so will your perception of your sexuality, alright? Keep it in the back of your mind, but don’t let it overwhelm you.
“...and it's not like I ever tried it?”
“It?” Do you mean sex? Oh, anon, please please please do not limit yourself like this. People can have had sex with only members of the same gender before they realize they’re heterosexual. People can have had sex loads of time or not at all before they realize they’re asexual or bisexual or pansexual or any-sexual. Who you have sex with has no bearing on who you’re sexually attracted to. Let me repeat: Your sexual attraction to others is not based on previous sexual encounters or lack thereof.
If you want to add to this post then please do so!!! I love hearing how others explored and figured out their sexualities. 💜���️
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yeoreos · 3 years ago
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hate sex || jjk (m)
pairing :: jungkook x reader
genre :: 18+, fwb!au, smut, basically pwp
summary :: jungkook decides to show you how much he loves hates you.
warnings :: jungkook is in love with you, smut (corruption kink, big dick!jk, size kink, pussy slapping if you squint, oral (f. and m.), overstimulation, unprotected sex [be safe], sex in front of a mirror, denied orgasm, overstimulation, dirty talk, hair pulling, crying but it’s because jungkook is not showing any mercy on oc, hard dom!jk, somewhat brat!reader, a pinch of soft dom!jk, tattooed!jk, i think that’s it?)
wc :: 3.6k (of pure smut)
note :: first imagine ever please be kind :(( lowercase intended !!! (unedited)
“strawberry funnel cake frappuccino for y/n?”
your ears perked up at your name being called by the barista, indicating that your order is ready. you pushed past people, shocked at how packed it was despite it being a wednesday morning.
as for your situation, however, you needed that coffee. last night, the night of your date with your tinder match, didn’t happen. you realized how much time and energy you wasted looking your best for someone that didn’t even appreciate it. the rest of the night, you spent crying; not for your date, but for the makeup look you worked so hard on not to even get a reaction from anybody. but you didn’t let that stop you.
you grabbed your phone from the beige purse you had in your hands and threw the purse on your bed. from the lockscreen, you swiped left to open the camera app. from the angle it was in, the camera captured your feet. 
a few small pictures to upload to instagram wouldn’t hurt, right? and so for the next hour or two you spent in the bathroom having a photoshoot, silently thanking yourself for not throwing away the tripod that sat in the corner of your room, serving no purpose until that moment.
you took a few snaps in the bathtub with the water reaching the brim and your favorite scent littered into the water, along with a few rose petals to decorate it. this is going to be amazing. 
you sat in the bathtub, naked, careful not to let the water touch your face. with one person’s face in mind, you took the pictures, added a filter on them, and posted them onto your instagram, without a caption, because you sucked at those.
locking your phone, you sat in bed and went back to sleep, approximately around the time when the sun started rising, so of course you needed that coffee.
your best friend, Jimin, had heard all about it and had even been the first one to like and comment on your post. he commented so many times about how good you looked and how it was your date’s loss that he stood you up. it got to the point where he almost got shadow banned.
that was until he flooded your private message with more comments.
there was a specific comment, however, which caught your eye.
jeonjk97: damn babygirl
of course jungkook would comment something like that. but it didn’t fail to make you feel like you were on top of the world. 
fuck him and fuck his stupid self.
and the situation you were in was exactly that.
jungkook always had a preference when it came to girls. although he wasn’t the playboy type, he was still a boy and needed his desires to be satisfied. he preferred the innocent ones; “they have the tightest cunts” he would say.
but it was more to it than that. he knew that the innocence was fun to break down, to stain it with his touch where he knew his one-night stand would come back for more and fall to his feet, practically kissing it. he wanted to watch the way they would turn from someone so pure to someone equivalent to him in bed.
he figured that you were a virgin by the way you almost always had your nose in a book. but the first time he asked you to come over, he was shocked to see that the person you showed to everyone was nothing but a mask to hide it all. 
this was the first time you had caught jungkook’s intriguing eyes.
jungkook always reminded himself that he was only there to take, not to give, but it was getting harder and harder to do that each time you gave yourself to him. for him to use but he couldn’t. not when saw you as something more than just a quick fuck.
to make matters worse, you hated him with all of your guts, yelling out words that shouldn’t be uttered to him when the two of you weren’t in the premises of your (and sometimes his) bedroom.
“you’re a small, pretty thing, aren’t you?” he murmured to himself, standing next to your bed. you were sitting up on it, looking at him with a fire behind your eyes and a small smirk playing on your red lips. at that moment, he didn’t care about the feelings he had as all he wanted to was to take his cock out of the confines of his boxers and fuck your throat until you were gagging and choking on it, digging your nails into his thighs for leverage and a request to let you catch your breath.
“yes.” with your chest heaving up and down, the wetness between your thighs became more, the ghost of your orgasm pulling at every nerve in your body. that tingling feeling in your veins has you in a haze, wanting nothing more than just him.
he smirked, his purple hair falling over his eyes, and from the light hitting his back, it casted a shadow over them, making everything more exciting. every feeling and craving of touch for him was heightened, and you were getting tired of waiting.
“hurry the fuck up, jeon!” 
bad mistake.
immediately, he went up to you and grabbed you by the neck, pulling you so you were propped on your knees and in front of him. jungkook looked down at your lips and bit his own, thinking about the pretty sounds that would be coming out of them in a few moments.
with his free hand, he trailed his fingers down, teasingly running them down your skin to your shorts. the ghost of his fingers has your breath caught in your throat and as soon as he reaches your clothed mound, he presses his fingers down. you let out a sound near a gasp and shut your eyes immediately. a harsh slap is delivered to your pussy and you mewl out in pleasure.
“don’t raise your voice at me, understand?” his fingers toying your clothed clit was making it hard for you to voice anything back, so you nod your head instead. “words, baby.” 
oh he was evil.
“y-yes.” he smirked, satisfied with your response. he had never seen you so desperate for him in all the times he had spent with you.
he was aware of the fact that your panties had been soaked with your arousal, wetting his fingers in the process. “tell me what you want, princess.”
you swallowed air, choking on your own words for a second. you couldn’t believe what you were about to ask for. “i want- want you to fuck me...” with the way you trailed off, jungkook was sure it was more than just that, so he quirked a brow, giving you permission to speak further, “want you to fuck me like you hate me.”
something in jungkook seemed to snap because his eyes went a shade darker and an animalistic growl rumbled from deep within his throat.
all of a sudden, you were thrown onto the bed as jungkook got on his knees and tore your panties open, a loud gasp echoed throughout the room.
at first, jungkook took all the time in the world, leisurely toying with your clit and licking your opening until you turned into a moaning mess underneath his tongue, tugging on his bright locks like the floor was lava or something like that. it was only until you begged him to go faster, that he sped up the process of his tongue, assaulting your pussy. his strong grip on your thigh blocked you from distancing yourself from him and whenever you would, he suck on your clit, pulling it into his mouth and using his tongue to abuse the little nub. you grinded your hips into him, embarrassed of how good you were feeling, despite your strong negative feelings towards him on a daily basis. 
“perfect little pussy,” he mumbled against your clit, “made for me to fuck.” that was all it took for your orgasm to come crashing down on you, legs shaking, sinful sounds escaping your lips.
but that wasn’t it, he wanted to fuck you like he hated you, so he showed no mercy again when he entered two fingers into you right after your orgasm, the burning stretch making teas accumulate in the corner of your eyes. his mouth was back on your clit, still sensitive mind you, before you could protest any further. his hooded eyes stared at you, wondering how someone could look so beautiful in this situation.
it was only until your back arched off your bed as your mouth was gaped with no sound coming out, fingers holding onto dear life in his hair and pressing his face further between your thighs, that you came for the second time just by his mouth.
it wasn’t like you were against the idea, because in all honesty, you did ask for him to use you, but oh god if you knew the dangerous territory you were stepping in, you would’ve backed away a long time ago.
after you had calmed down from your high, although heart still racing, you slid down to the floor and got on your knees. jungkook wasn’t expecting this, all he wanted to do now was to fuck you until he rearranged your guts, but who was he to back down from your request of sucking his dick.
jungkook was haste to unbuckle his belt, already envisioning how you would look sucking his cock. however, he didn’t have to envision that for too long, because without any restrictions, you licked the crown of his dick, sending a shiver to go down his spine.
as for you, however, you didn’t realize how much you missed his dick until it was right in front of you and you could finally touch it. the pre-cum shined on his tip and it was waiting (im)patiently for you to give it some sort of relief. he reaches down for your hand and brings it to his dick, indicating that you do the action here. you grab it’s base and glide his tip over your mouth, smearing his arousal on your lips.
you part your lips and he allows you to have control over how much you were going to take in. when your warm mouth closes around him, he breathes out loud. you swirl your tongue over the head and taste the salty pre-cum. the feeling of his veiny cock feels so good in your mouth and you couldn’t wait for it to be shoved in your pussy. you start bobbing your head, using your hands for the parts your mouth couldn’t cover.
“oh fuck,” jungkook curses and entangles his fingers in your hair, pushing it back and holding it into a makeshift ponytail. it wasn’t until he wasn’t satisfied with how much you were taking into your mouth, that he starts bucking his hips into your mouth, going slow at first, then deciding to stay at a ruthless pace.
you opened your mouth and slacked your jaw, allowing him to use you as he pleased. jungkook curses underneath his breath when your submissiveness turns him on even more, but he’s quick to guide his cock in and out of your mouth. and truth be told, he could probably do this in his sleep with the amount of times he’s fucked your mouth. you gag around him, eyes glistening with warm tears as he continues his pace. jungkook holds your head when the feeling is too much and he becomes vocal.
letting out loud moans and groans, jungkook goes insane, almost cumming then and there.
but he couldn’t. he wanted to cum inside of your pussy.
your scalp physically hurt when he let go of your hair and slipped his dick out of your mouth, permitting you to catch a breath which he stole.
he picked you up by your waist and threw you on the bed, your head into the soft covers of your bedsheet. jungkook held you by your hips, pulling them up, so your ass was in the air and your head was in the mattress. 
he took his sweet time teasing and making you push your ass back for more, but he wouldn’t give himself to you just yet. he wanted to teach you your lesson.
and once he bottomed out, you moaned into the sheets, aware that you were drooling on them. it just felt that good. you loved it all. loved the way he was balls deep into you, loved the way he gripped your hips that it was going to leave marks, loved the way he was chanting your name like a mantra when you clenched around him, loved the way that he was the one fucking you.
as much as you would hate to admit it, jungkook was an all-rounder; perfect at everything he did whether it be sports, gaming, cooking, fashion. you name it, he could do it. including fucking you and that was your favorite part about him. that no matter how much the two of you hated (and one even loved, but that’s a conversation for another day) each other, you would always go back to each other like two opposites on a magnet. 
this view was nice, but jungkook wanted more. he wanted to see your face contort in pleasure, but at the same time, he wanted to see the way your cunt would take his cock. so, from the corner of his eye, he peeks at the mirror and considers the idea for a bit before moving around on the bed so you guys were in front of the mirror.
“w-what are you doing- mph!” jungkook enters you without even giving you a chance to complete your sentence. he brutally snaps his hips so his dick dives into your pussy, your walls doing nothing but contracting against his shaft.
jungkook bends down and grabs a fistful of your hair, pulling it as your neck cranes over to see the two of you in the mirror. through your reflection, you could see the way jungkook looks back with the same hungry and lustful eyes. your eyes travelled to your position and the sight alone had you gushing for him, more wetness pooling. you look at the way your hair now looked like (and probably did) it had knots in them, your lipstick smeared across your lips and some parts of it getting on your cheek and chin, your mascara smudged over your eyes. you looked bad, but a good type of bad. it had jungkook ramming his hips into yours even more.
“look at you,” he says although that was what you were doing the whole time, “such a dirty slut. who’s making you feel this good, huh? who?!”
“y-you, oh fuck jungkook, please don’t stop, don’t stop please, i’m going to-”
“don’t you dare.” the way the words came out of jungkook’s chest has your heart rate speeding up and you could’ve sworn he got harder inside of you. 
in response, you mewl and shake beneath him, finding it hard to hold in your orgasm. with the way your vision blurred, you knew you were close, your release so close yet so far away. 
jungkook leaves open mouthed kisses along the side of your neck, sucking into your skin, leaving a dark purple mouth he knew you were going to try to cover up the next day. for a little while, jungkook stills his hips, ravishing in the way your mouth is hung open and hands were shaking, trying their best to support the weight of your body. he holds that position, his lips pressing tender kisses on your neck. although you desperately want him to fuck you, another part of you wants to cherish this moment. 
so, you close your eyes in return and moan.
once he finished torturing the delicate skin of your neck, his eyes get drunk on your body, intoxicating him. at first, he watches through the mirror, watching the way your chest heaved for air. his eyes soon travelled to your back, to your ass, where he saw how deep he was buried into your cunt.
“your cunt is taking me so well, babe.”
once he sees that you were ready to take more, he pulls back and in one swift thrust, he pushed into you, a scream ripping through you. he does that again and again, causing the same reaction from you. jungkook once again stops when he’s fully inside of you, torturing you just to make you beg for him. you need him to fuck you relentlessly, so that’s exactly what you vocalize.
“please, jungkook,” your voice is nothing but a whisper, “please fuck me.”
“you should hear yourself, baby, the way you’re desperately begging for me. begging to be fucked,” he chuckles, “you already came once? or was it twice? how greedy can you be.”
“i’m you’re slut, jungkook. please fuck me.”
it was a light switch. something in him flicked and jungkook immediately started snapping his hips into you. “say that again, you little whore. who’s slut are you?”
“jungkook’s. only jungkook’s- fuck!”
he pushed his cock back before slamming into you with both of his hands on your hips. the lewd and slick sound of your pussy and your wetness leaving onto his cock echoes throughout the room and you could’ve sworn jungkook whimpered.
when that wasn’t enough, the sex god behind you takes both of your hands, pulling it behind you, setting yet another brutal pace. he can’t help but wrap his tattooed arms around your small, fragile ones. his eyes lock with yours, your throat protruding a gulp of air you had swallowed. 
“you look so pretty, your hands behind you as i’m fucking you, i wish you could see yourself. fuck,” he rumbles.
you moan at his words, because you couldn’t agree more. his hands were perfect; every inch of your body that he would touch, lick, kiss, all belonged to him. you belonged to him and jungkook was going to make sure you were aware of that by the end of the night tonight.
“moan louder,” he says while thrusting into you. “let everyone hear how much of a little slut you are for me.” he emphasizes the last word. his possessiveness was showing, but did either of you care? no.
as you give him exactly what he wants, he smiles while letting his cock fill you up, his hips hitting against yours with aggression. this all causes sparks of pleasure to coarse through your body, your veins felt like they were lit on fire, but not in the bad way. it was in a way only he could make you feel.
as you look at him through the mirror, you can’t help but find him extremely attractive. you watch the way he looks back at you with a cloudiness in his eyes and the way his pink tongue swipe across his bottom lips. jungkook keeps growling your name, thrusting into you with a different urgency every time
“please- jungkook please, i need to cum!” you were begging, not even caring how pathetic you looked and sounded.
“not until i tell you to,” the evil tone in his voice was evident and you didn’t know how longer you could hold in your release.
jungkook noticed the way tears freely fell from your eyes. something took over him, a sense of care. halting his hips, he leaned down and pressed gentle kisses to your neck. “just a little longer, yeah? you’re my good girl, and my good girl can do it. it’ll feel amazing, i promise.” you shuddered, a whole new feeling blossoming inside of you. a radiating warmth coursing throughout your body.
his hands could feel the way your body trembled and quivered underneath him with each thrust. the way he started his merciless pace had you losing yourself to the feeling of lust and desire. your face scrunches up, a feeling of your coil about to snap in your stomach.
jungkook quickly noticed and brings one of his hands which were previously wrapped around your wrists, made their way around your waist and to your clit, toying with the bundle of nerves. it wasn’t long until you were coming undone, with jungkook whispering praises and sweet nothingness into your ear.
a few moments and pumps later, jungkook feels his dick twitch inside of you. pulling out, he cums on you: your ass, your back, and your cunt.
still feeling high from your euphoria, the two of you stay in that position.
completely mesmerized in your afterglow, jungkook looks at you, you doing the same. the eye contact is far more intimate than what the two of you did just now. he never found anyone more beautiful after sex, but you? it was like a whole new perspective.
jungkook pulls his dick out a grabs a tissue from the table near your bed in order to clean you up, followed by a small, tender kiss pressed onto your temple. “you did so well,” he whispers and you feel your knees become weak. it was either due to exhaustion or because of his words.
you hoped it was not the latter.
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catastrophe-at-sixteen · 3 years ago
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strawberries and cigarettes (m)
Jungkook x reader
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“For a biology project, you and your class are going on a field trip to collect evidence for your hypothesis. It is all going well until the dark haired nuisance called Jeon Jungkook decides to piss you off.”
Also - a nerd. The resident bad boy. The police. Annoying friends. A loose psycho killer. What could go wrong?
This is my first time ever uploading any fics !! im super nervous haha - i'll probably post a little of each one and see how it goes !!
Jungkook x reader.
This is your classic enemies to lovers but with a slight little twist!
This is set in the 80s/90s and is your typical bad boy/nerd girl trope- but , there is a killer on the loose. I mean this is kind of based on jack the ripper (serial killer) and my teenage fantasies of falling for bad boy jungkook. I hope you’ll give it a go and tell me what you think !!! <3
Tw : cursing, killings, descriptions of death and psychopaths, masturbation , making out, smut.
WC : 11K
also a big massive thank you to @ggukkiereads for helping me gain the confidence to write and dedicate time to finishing this ! ik its been a while since we spoke but much love to u angel <3 may u always have the best !
Begrudgingly the students lag off the bus at 10pm, finally having reached their destination.
Tired and sore from their journey the teachers find no trouble in distributing bedrooms for everyone.
When your name is called out along with Tiffany you internally groan - great you think one of the most plastic girls in the school all to myself.
You grimace but make no argument as you could have gotten worse you suppose.
As you grab your belongings and ignore her protests that she doesn't want to room with a loser like you, a dark clad figure pushes past you, almost tripping you over.
Angrily you shout
"Watch where you're going you prick"!
Yet he doesn't so much look in your direction.
Under the dim moonlight you can faintly make out the low blunt of a cigarette in a tattoo clad hand - so it was the infamous Jungkook.
Honestly you didn't understand why all the girls fawned over him when he was just a rude and ignorant asshole. Sure, he had a pretty face but no good soul to match.
Calming yourself, as it was unlikely that you'd ever receive an apology from the school rebel you just head to your new room.
The school had organised a biology trip so that you could gather authentic evidence on the correlation of birds and wood growth in a certain designated area and honestly you were excited- not having enough expenses to get out of town when you were younger meant that this was a treat for you and paired with you being a biology major your inner geek was surfacing pretty quickly.
You move into your room and begin unpacking your things ignoring the chatter coming from your new roommates.
You set everything nicely, precisely -just to your liking. Maybe some would call you fussy, but you like to think of yourself as organised and classy.
You don’t have many thoughts that night as you lay down for bed, but you do hear the news playing in the background.
" a killing has not been sighted for a time breaking the pattern of the 1-week intervals in which they have been happening, but police still advise to remain on high alert at all times. "
You shudder as you think about it, a killer on the loose in the country and everyone powerless to stop him.
He fed of the insecurities of people, the fear of not being safe. He did a damn well good job at it as well.
You look outside and see the police on night duty setting up, the country while terrified also was reluctant to admit the threat and instead of protecting you properly they had merely sent police force units as glorified bodyguards to ' keep you safe '.
You sigh, as you climb under your covers those problems seem like a long way away from you as you drift off with an empty mind.
It was morning, the sun was shining brightly through the windows giving an orange glow to the room.
You were up before your roommates, had brushed your teeth and were already preparing for your project.
You had to do well, you were depending on a scholarship for university, your family could simply not afford it otherwise.
When your first signs of morning hunger begin to strike you venture outside your room in order to satiate yourself. You find that it’s still quiet only a few students up like yourself, you find a coffee machine and immediately begin to make one for yourself.
“While you're at it could you make one for me too".
a deep voice drawls out.
You almost jump out of your skin at the sound his voice breaking the silence you had been enjoying. Jeon Jungkook.
You scowl at him, choosing to ignore him carrying on making your own cup.
He whistles under his breath.
“wow, edgy or a bitch? I can’t decide".
He taunts you.
You roll your eyes at him and sigh in annoyance, his eyebrows raise at this.
“you’re clearly not a morning person".
He speaks.
You mutter under your breath.
" or maybe I’m just not a YOU person, not everyone lives to be nice to you. "
He lifts his hands up in a mock surrender.
“Okay, okay I get it it's a bad time for you jeez.... I suppose I'll have to make my own coffee".
He moves closer to you, totally invading your personal space, clearly, he had never heard of a personal bubble! You scowl and try to move away but he’s faster and is hovering over you before you know it. He looks down at you with those pretty dark eyes.
They’re so gorgeous.
Not that it matters to you because he is still an asshole, and he still ruined your morning.
“get out of my face Jeon Jungkook".
You say between clenched teeth.
You’re not some sort of pushover.
Yes, you're clever, as society classes a nerd but you're not one to let people walk all over you.
If he’s shocked, he doesn’t let on, just hums and lets you walk away, which you do, a little aggressively. You got back to your room and let out a sound of annoyance, the girls are still sleeping.
You sigh.
This was going to be a long trip.
After an uneventful morning, the wait was over and finally the teachers had called you to gather in the common area. Much to your dismay however there would be no actual data collecting until the police had secured the area, which meant that your whole day was pretty much wasted. The other students were chatting and gossiping and being idiots as per usual.
It’s not that you thought you were better than them, it's just that they were so mundane, so lifeless. They were just living on with no sense of direction. You suppose that's what you get for attending a school for rich kids though.
You could never fit in.
So, you never tried. People took pity on you every now and then offered you a smile. You smiled back but that was it. Your thoughts are running and to clear your head you decide to go outside for a little breather.
There isn’t much, just a few abandoned train tracks that seemingly lead into nowhere, a few broken fences and lots of grass. Not much time after this you head to bed.
Finally, the day had arrived, you could collect your samples.
You are so glad that it’s an individual project because you honestly cannot even imagine working with one of those air heads.
You shudder at the memory of having to work with Taehyung last semester for a chemistry practical.
You had to basically pull all the weight for your grade.
So, you get on working your way through your work and proving or disproving your hypothesis.
You’re pleased at the work that you completed. Not entirely satisfied but satisfied enough, for now.
You let out a stiff yawn, you need to stretch and need a little fresh air since you had spent the last few hours writing up your data and making graphs to compliment them.
You forgo your jacket since the weather isn’t so bad.
It’s nice.
When you go outside there are quite a few students already there, goofing around. There is also a pretty scenery, that in all honesty you had not appreciated until right now.
“Wow" you mutter under your breath.
Maybe I should try living outside my own head sometimes.
You spot some students surrounding a police officer and the curiosity gets the better of you and your soon wandering around the outskirts of their conversation.
Alas, it was merely a fruitless conversation. The police officer telling the other about his escapades and how they will be good in hands.
You lose yourself to your own thoughts again and look at the scenery. Until a little scuffle, breaks you out of your thoughts.
“What was that? There was a movement down there!! “
A boy called Josh calls out.
The police officer had also noticed it, then a sound of a gunshot sounds through the air.
The police officers curse and begin to get ready to scout the area. They want you all to go away, be safe inside but you’re all young adults- you want to see what’s going on.
Everyone gathers, watching the officers.
You scan the area; you spot the balcony that looks over the area just in front of the cabins.
Perfect you think that’s the perfect spot to see what’s going on.
So, you begin to climb up the steps to that room, when you get there, you can see everything.
You see a dead dog, a dead bird and the gun which had killed them laid out to where the officers were heading.
Fear grips your heart; your heartbeat is erratic. You think you see the shape of figure retreating into the distance but before you can look again, you feel the ground give way under you.
You let out a shriek, feeling yourself falling.
Is this truly how my life end you wonder I didn’t even get to complete my PhD?
Yet, instead of the hard fall that your body had been anticipating; your landing is softer and lets out a low grunt.
You're sure you're dead and have entered heaven.
Slowly you register a warm feeling under your legs and a secure one at your waist.
oh, this feels nice.
you think, eyes still closed until you hear some chaos in the distance.
what's happening?
Why is heaven so noisy? Are they partying because I’ve arrived? Was I actually an angel all this time am I coming home?
Ah you think this must be the angels- I knew all those days spent doing charity would help me.
You open your eyes and you’re met with bambi eyes staring back at you.
Slowly you begin to piece the rest of your angel together.
“Jeon Jungkook? “
You try and raise your voice to compliment your surprise, but it comes out in a more whisper.
“But this, Jungkook, you were an angel all this time? “you say.
His eyebrows knot together in confusion.
“What are you talking about strawberry?”
You gasp.
"Do we all get code names in heaven? You’re a pretty angel Jungkook. “
Then your eyes zero in on the scar on his cheek.
“Aren’t Angel’s supposed to be blemish free? Is that? Are you fallen? Wait.... for me? Are you my angel Jungkook? “
His eyes, which had previously shown confusion are now coloured with amusement.
“You talk a lot don’t you my little strawberry”.
You vaguely hear the sounds behind you before you begin to feel drowsy and fall limp the arms of your unexpected angel.
Jungkook was, of course no angel, your delirious ass was just doing and saying delirious things. You were going to be mortified when you woke up.
When you come to your room in a dark room, tucked into a warm bed. Your headaches aches as if someone is using a sledgehammer to hit it every second.
‘Agh’ you let out a pained groan.
What even happened? you wonder in your head.
You move quickly, getting out of bed ignoring your protesting limbs.  You almost reach the doors until a pair of arms trap you.
‘woah woah where do you think you're going?’
You let out a scream, completely startled. A hand comes to cover your mouth.
‘man, you really do have a set of lungs, don’t you? ‘
You stop struggling in his embrace to match his voice to a face. Its familiar.
‘Jeon Jungkook?’ you let a little unsure and panic still evident in your voice.
‘your one and only’
You frown.
‘mine?’
He smirks at you,
‘that's right yours strawberry’.
You shake your head.
‘are you smoking something? Are you high right now?’
He pouts a little then, it changes his look completely. He looks a little cute.
‘you don't remember? ‘ he cocks his head to the side and points to himself. ‘I'm your angel’.
You scoff.
‘Please in what world are YOU an angel? You're far from it’.
Then it all comes back to you.
Jungkook watches as the realisation begins to show on your face.
‘Oh my god I had a concussion, you cannot be serious right now ‘
He chuckles.
'The words still came out of your mouth' Jungkook counters, he leans closer to you, his face way to close for your liking.
You feel your face grow warm from his proximity, but you don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that.
You scoff and push him away.
‘You're insane’.
He accepts the distance you've placed between the two of you and he chooses to smirk at you from where he is standing.
‘And you're crazy for me’.
You let out an incredulous laugh, not believing him.
‘Oh, my lord, please shut up for the sake of my sanity’.
He chuckles at your flustered state and you scramble your brain to find a change of subject.
‘okay whatever now just excuse me because I need to go back to my room’.
You move to begin walking to the door, but his voice halts your movements.
‘This is your room now’.
You whip around to face him.
‘What?! Ha as if Jeon, why would they room us together- were supposed to separate for the opposite genders- which I totally get when you're involved’ you say disbelief painting your voice. You whisper the last part though.
He puts his hands into his pockets and shrugs.
‘Protection?’
You set him a hard stare.
‘Save your lame ass men superiority talks for someone else i am having a severe case of I'm not interested’.
Why the hell would you need Jungkook for protection, it reeks of patriarchy and you hate it.
He shrugs.
‘Listen princess I don't know why either really to be honest but I'm not complaining-’
You don't bother entertaining him for much longer.
This can't be true. You cannot be paired into a room with him. He cannot be your new roommate - heck now tiffany doesn't seem so bad. Flirting asshole, you mutter under your breath as you begin searching for your teacher.
You only learn a bitter truth, due to the collapsing of the room you had to be relocated into another room and the only person without a roommate was Jungkook. They ‘trusted’ you enough that you would be able to handle it and not to do anything you were not supposed to.
‘We trust you, y/n’ was what she had told you.
You spend your time cursing out both her and Jungkook as you gather your belongings to move into your new room.
You're so caught up in your own thoughts that you don't notice a foot that comes out to trip you.
You look up and see the faces of three stupid bitches.
Tiffany Jessica and Irene.
They seemed to consider themselves above everybody else, though you've no idea why. Aside from flawless looks they seemed to live pretty empty life in your eyes. They were living definitions of empty shells walking around.
You get up quietly from the ground, you'll gain nothing from engaging with them, maybe you'd lose a few brainless. You just want to go back and rest - your head is killing you.
But to your disappointment they begin to talk.
‘Well, well well, if it isn't the school's new slut moving into MY boyfriend's room’.
You have to let a little laugh at this. This one is seriously deluded. Jungkook didn't do relationships you knew that. Everybody knew that. They had hooked up about 3 months ago and even though he does his best to ignore her she still insists that he is her boyfriend. It's just pathetic and a bit sad you suppose. Her obvious attraction to him which he just does not reciprocate.
She becomes enraged at your actions.
‘listen here you little bitch you better not even think of starting anything with my man-’ she spits out at you.
You snap back then, unable to hold your tongue.
‘I am not a slut, and I will not go after your man- which fyi  he is not. He is a human and he doesn’t belong to you he never has’
She grows red at your words.
‘you little piece of shit-’
She raises her hand but just then a voice interrupts her and she halts her actions.
‘well if it isn't my new roomie, l’ll take that from you strawberry’ Jungkook says, too cheery for your liking, your still contemplating hitting Jessica.
Jessica begins speaking up, but he ignores her turning to you.
Your mouth almost drops open at his dismissal of Jessica but then again, she is annoying, and he cannot be immune to that.
‘Jungkoooook’ she whines when he doesn’t respond to her the first time.
He still doesn’t entertain her.
He moves to take your things from you, but she speaks again, latching onto his arm.
‘just leave her -cshe's just an annoying stuck-up bitch’.
He responds to this under his breath laughing.
‘reminds me of someone ’
She doesn't understand his comment.
‘huh?’ she says almost comically.
‘who baby?’ she pouts at him ‘my poor baby having to deal with such people, just leave with me and we can-’
‘no’ he sets her with a hard stare.
It's like she has forgotten that you're there, so you decide to use this to your advantage, letting Jungkook deal with them. You move to get your suitcase, but a hand stops yours. Its Jungkook.
‘I don’t think so strawberry - I'll be getting those for you’.
You turn to look at him scowl adorning your features.
‘I don’t need your help Jeon’.
He smirks at you.
‘no no - I insist’.
He dismisses Jessica with a wave of his hand and begins to walk away your suitcase in his hand, which prompts you to follow along.
‘What. Was. That. Jungkook?!’ you say when the door closes, you’re fuming because he had made it seem as though you were dating or doing things together which meant that they would keep bothering you, which is just something that you don’t want.
He turns around to face you.
‘oh, don’t get your panties in such a twist, I just needed to get the fuck away from her’.
He sounds angry and this is the Jungkook that you are more accustomed to. Not the flirty one you have been seeing. Hopefully he had given up on whatever he was trying to achieve with that. He was a rude asshole who was just to used to seeing things come out in his favour.
‘excuse me, you just fuelled her whack ass thoughts and next time don’t use me as your escape route’ you say matching his hostile tone.
‘oh, don’t be such a priss, it saved you as much as it saved me’.
An exasperated noise escapes your throat.
‘well maybe you should have kept it in your pants lover boy’.
He sets you with a hard stare.
‘oh, shut up - you don’t know me’ he grits out.
You cock your head to the side much like he had done to you earlier in the day.
‘hmmm I think I know you pretty well Jungkook, you're not as unreadable as you like to think, Jeon Jungkook the infamous bad boy who uses girls to fuel his ego and is used by girls to fuel their own ego and status quo among their own stupid--’
You do not get to finish you sentence however because you're harshly being pinned to the door. His grip on you is hard and it stings but you meet his gaze.
‘shut the fuck up y/n’ the tone of his voice is almost carnal, animal like.
You seriously had hit a nerve.
‘I go beyond your perceptions of me- you little miss goody two shoes’.
You spit back in his face.
‘I've yet to see you act more like a crazed rabbit Jungkook and to be honest I don’t plan on finding out the depths of your character either. I don’t fucking care about you’.
You push him aside and move to unpack your suitcase.
He mutters something under his breath that you can't hear, and he walks out slamming the door behind him.
‘well, that was fun’ you say and begin to take out your notes and books that you will need through the day.
When you wake up the next you feel like you’ve been hit by a ton of bricks. The painkillers had given you the illusion that you were okay. You look a mess, you're tired, you cannot believe that this happened.  You had been looking forward to this for so long, they had told you that another student would be collecting your data. Your new roommate. Jeon Jungkook. He was going to be collecting your data.
This is preposterous! He would probably sabotage you on purpose! This cannot happen, but they wouldn’t budge from their choice. You huff as you look out of the window, where you could be collecting your data along with the other students. Darn you and your curiosity.
They always did say didn’t they- that curiosity killed the cat.
Your walking around the room, pacing- that’s how bored you are. You had reorganised your things 3 times and colour coded all you notes, redrew your graphs, you had done everything that you thought would keep you busy but here you are sitting with nothing to do.  You look around the room see Jungkook's things laying on the ground.
You sigh into the empty room again and just lay down waiting for them to come back. You end up falling asleep.
You're stirred from your sleep, quite rudely by a book being thrown at the foot of your bed. You sit up, still groggy and look at Jungkook.
‘what the hell man’
He stares at you blankly.
‘There's your work priss’
You're not bothered by his hostile tone instead open the book and seeing what he had done, or you suppose looking at it what he had not done. The more you look at the work the more the frown on your face deepens.
‘what the hell is this Jungkook?’
He looks up at you annoyed.
‘the work? Thought you were meant to be a genius?’
You scowl at him.
‘this Jungkook? Is unacceptable a nursery kid could do way better than this !’
He rolls his eyes at you.
‘and? That’s what you're going to get priss so deal with it’.
You make an exasperated sigh.
‘you've used the wrong measurement and everything Jungkook’.
‘look - I don’t care. I didn’t want to do this for you anyway’.
‘like I wanted YOU to do it for me’.
You sigh,
You keep bumping into him everywhere, you know he is your roommate but he is always there at the cafeteria taking the last donut which you had been craving pushing in line, making unnecessary comments and he makes the room so messy!
It’s the same thing for the next few outings, Jungkook comes with the same half assed versions of the data you need.
You try, you really you try so hard to use the data sets he provided but its no use. They're absolutely useless, so you decide to take matters into your own hands.
Your going to sneak out early in the morning, you have to sneak past the guards which as you’ve gathered won't be as hard as one may think because they are not good or much invested in their job anyway.
You prepare yourself and head to set out in the morning. You quietly get up so as not to disturb or wake Jungkook. If he sees you, you know that there will be trouble.
You throw on a hoodie and grab a notebook, a pen and your watch. You have to be back before anyone can notice that you're gone.  You steel yourself one last time, giving yourself a pep talk and sneak out. You hold your breath as you walk past the room of your supervisor and out the back door of the cabins.
This isn't so bad you think. Once you're out of sight of the guards and you think your safe, you let out a sigh of relief and do a little shimmy out of your happiness. You are so pleased and proud of yourself. What you didn’t know that behind you, watching your every move was a boy covered in tattoos with a cigarette in his hand watching you with an amused face.
Jungkook was, not as you thought asleep when you had snuck out. He was also outside, leaning on the side of the building a cigarette in his hand, he couldn’t sleep that night, it happened to him on most nights so he routinely wakes up to have a smoke. On this particular day there is not the usual eerie morning silence that he is used to, but a few grunts and hisses to accompany it. He furrows his brows.
Is that? He thinks y/n!?!?!?!?!?
No way he thinks what the hell is she up to?
Then he catches sight of your notebook and pen.
'Oh, what a nerd' he mutters under his breath. Then he smirks.
He can totally use this to his advantage.
He stubs his cigarette, pulls his hoodie over his head and follows you.
Your heart is still racing you honestly cannot believe that you. l/n f/n are doing this.
‘What a badass’ you say into the silence.
‘Badass? Sneaking out to do bloody work is your idea of badass?’ a voice speaks up behind you.
You shriek startled and are met with Jungkook.
Why is it always him?
‘what in the bloody tarnation's.... are you trying to kill me Jungkook?!’ you say putting your hand on your heart.
He grins pleased at the reaction he had elicited from you.
He cocks his head to the side.
‘what the hell are you doing here ?!’ you hiss at him.
‘could ask you the same thing strawberry’ he replies.
You look at him.
You were so sure that you had been quiet, how could he be here to ruin everything.
‘you do realise that I actually have name, and it's not strawberry’ you say to him.
He shrugs.
‘Yeah but you always smell like them’.
You scoff;
‘and you always reek of cigarettes.’
He frowns but then asks you again.
‘what are you doing here?’
You think of excuses,
‘I'm - I'm on a walk’ you say.
He lifts his eyebrow up.
‘a walk?’
You nod.
‘that's right for my daily exercise its been a pain to be stuck indoors’.
He snorts.
‘you're on a walk with your graph paper pad and pencil case?’
You curse inside your head.
‘yeah I am a nerd after all’ you say, hoping and praying that he’ll just let you go on your way.
He doesn’t
‘I don’t know, you look awfully suspicious to me, do tell why you're heading to the sight of our data collection points when the trail track is in the opposite direction?’ he says.
You rack your brains for an answer.
‘well, I like an adventure’ you say, standing straight.
‘oh, is that so?’ he says laughter infiltrating his tone.
‘yes’, you say meeting his eyes.
‘hmm’ he says ‘I don’t believe you’ he says.
‘do you wanna know what I think?’ he continues.
He takes one step closer to you.
‘I think that our resident miss goody two shoes is sneaking off when told specifically that she can't’ his gaze burns into yours
You feel yourself going red out of embarrassment.
‘I literally have no idea what you're talking about Jungkook' you say breathless.
He leans closer and you can feel his body heat, he continues to bore his eyes into your own and you almost fall into his gaze until you feel your book being snatched out of your hand.
‘HEY!’ you say reaching for it.
But he holds it higher than himself, opens it to the last written on page.
‘new data collection points’ he reads out ‘and oh would you look at that ! It has todays dates written on it’ he says looking down at you with a squint in his eyes.
You huff.
‘well obviously I had to do this because how on earth could I let your lame ass results and data reading be used for my final piece – I'm not looking to fail’ you say venom laced in every word.
He scowls at you.
‘there was nothing wrong with my results princess’ he grits out.
‘oh, please save it’ you snap back ‘you didn’t even use the same measurements – your hopeless’.
‘well, if I'm so fucking useless you should do my work for me’ he says.
You set him a level stare.
‘what?’
‘you heard me’ he says with a roll of his eyes.
‘and why in the hell would I do that? I don’t care if you fail Jungkook, heck I don’t care if you get kicked out’ you tell him.
He shakes his head.
‘well, I mean I could go back right now and tell Miss Taylor-’ he begins.
You narrow your eyes at him.
‘You wouldn’t dare’.
He holds a staring contest with you.
‘oh, wouldn’t I?’ he says.
You both hold each other's gazes before you give in.
You cannot believe the audacity of this asshole.
‘fine whatever asshole’ you say folding your arms and turning around.
He grins in victory and places your notebook back into your hands.
‘chop chop partner get to it’ he says.
You glare at him.
‘partners pull equal weight Jungkook ‘
He rolls his eyes.
‘I don’t really care – you just need to get a move on’.
You turn around no longer wanting to deal with his annoying ass.
You make it forward a few steps before you stop and turn around.
‘why are you following me?’  you ask him.
He rolls his eyes at your apparent dumbness.
‘well smartass, there is a killer on the loose if you didn’t know’.
You freeze up for a second,
Shit
You had almost forgotten. You don’t let him see that you're scared.
‘and? ‘ you say feigning composure.
‘what the hell are you going to do if he pops out of the woods anyway?’
He shrugs.
‘I dunno actually a lot more than you could do anyway’
You stare at him.
‘I could be a black belt in karate for all you know’.
He laughs.
‘okay princess whatever - I just need to make sure that you're not going to fuck this up’.
So, you turn going to the place you need to, to collect your data pieces.
With having to do Jungkook's work as well, it takes a lot longer to complete than you would have liked.
He is surprisingly bearable in the mornings that you both sneak off though. He doesn’t say much. Just watches you – pretends he isn't though.
You catch him once. Its been about 2 weeks since you started this godawful task, and Jungkook's notes and work were in dire need of help so its taking you time. This time however you meet his gaze before he is able to pull away.
You cock your head to the side.
‘what are you staring at?’ you say placing your hands on your hips.
He says something inaudible under his breath.
‘what was that?’
He snaps at you.
‘do you think you have tie to stand around making idle talk with me? The work ain’t going to do itself princess.’
You huff in annoyance.
How dare he! This was just plain wrong anyway I should not even be doing this, but you knew it was the only way. You couldn't risk getting caught and with Jungkook you wouldn't be surprised if he really did rat you out you to all the teachers. And if he did well, you wouldn’t be receiving a very good reference.
It was during an early morning that you hear Jungkook walk off into the distance. Probably to smoke, such a bad habit you tsk.
But you're also done for the day – so you begin to head back on your own.
You feel the grass brush against your feet as you walk back. You’re humming along to that song that was always on the radio, when you hear it. A little whimper - then a cry. You know that you shouldn’t go to look, you know that you're paying for your curiosity already and you don’t need another thing to happen, but you just cannot help yourself!
You follow the sound, going on a detour from the track.
You do consider yourself somewhat of a badass but a serial killer? Yeah, they kinda scare the shit out of you. You hold your breath and walk as quietly and slowly as you can. You hear the whimper again to your left but its deeper into the woods.
As you walk closer you see a pool of blood - your eyes widen, and your heartbeat becomes erratic.
‘what the fuck?’ you whisper into the silence.
You walk closer to the body of the animal and you can feel your knees grow a little weak you can see a white paper which has been tainted red with the blood of the animal that was killed.
You gasp, taking it up in your hands. Your hands also become stained with the redness.
It's in Morse code.
-.-- --- ..- / ... .... --- ..- .-.. -.. -. .----. - / -... . / .-- .- -. -.. . .-. .. -. --. / --- ..- - / .- .-.. --- -. .
(YOU SHOULDN'T BE WANDERING OUT ALONE)
You look at it for a while and rack your brains to be able to translate it but no such look. Your mind is busy running at 100miles per hour. As you try and clear your head and look at the note one more time, but a noise in the distance pulls you way from any semblance of concentration that you could have obtained.
You frantically look around trying to locate where the sound had come from. Your senses are all on a high right now. You shove the piece of paper into your pocket and begin to go back the way that you came. After the first few steps you begin running your head running wild with the idea of being found dead in ditch. Your nearly at the main path which you had strayed from. You make it onto the path, and you bend over catching your breath when two arms encircle you from behind.
You let out a scream.
A hand is placed over your mouth.
‘shut the fuck up y/n’.
You recognise THAT voice. Its Jeon Jungkook. Why is this motherfucker always trying to scare you? Your turn around and hit him on the chest,
‘what the actual hell Jeon, you gave me a bloody heat attack and a half’.
He doesn’t respond. He is looking at you, his eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes have a glint of anger. He is furious.
‘where the fuck did you go y/n?’ he says, he holds your wrist stopping you from hitting him again.
He holds it in the air holding your gaze.
‘I was.... walking back’ you didn't want him to know what you had found. He would probably tell you it was a bad idea to even translate it. Which it was, but what is life if not for taking risks?
You yank your hand from his grasp.
He looks at you an unreadable expression on his face.
“you’re a fucking liar “he says.
You scoff.
“oh please, what’s it to you anyway jungkook, you left me first “
He doesn’t say anything, but observes you, trying to look for signs of what you’re hiding.
He had found one too, a dead animal and a note written in Morse.
But he could read it and he knew he was in trouble
“Be careful, or your little girlfriend may be snatched from right under your arms “
He swore under his breath as he read it and immediately began to make his way back to you.
“strawberry?” he calls out but you’re not there.
You’re not there and he hates the feeling of dread that sits in his stomach.
He runs back the way you came, but he still finds no trace of you
“fucking hell where did she go?”
He almost gives up and is going to tell the police when you appear before him, out of breath and you look terrified.
He knows you’re lying, if you were where, you said you were, he would have seen you.
He narrows his eyes at you again.
“I left for two seconds and you ran off. Where the fuck did you go? “
He asks, he wants you tell him, needs you to, he’s overcome with this sense to protect you but you don’t trust him. He needs to change that.
He lets you believe that you have him fooled, that he believes your story and he begins to walk back to the cabins right before the call for breakfast is sounded. You follow after him breathing in a sigh of relief that he had believed you.
That night you find it difficult to sleep. You need to find out the meaning of the Morse code, but you don't have access to a book that will help you translate, meaning that you will have to ask around without looking too suspicious.
You decide that a police officer would do nicely, if you seem overly invested in their job, they would just give you the information.
You spot the officer who looks younger than most, you remember his name.
Park Jimin.
You approach him cautiously.
“Officer park?”
He turns around to face you, smiling softly.
Oh, he’s cute you think.
“yes miss?”
You smile at him warmly.
“nothing serious it’s just that I was wondering if you would like some company, it must be a little boring for you out here on your own “
You say to him and you’re glad you asked him because either way his face breaks out into a smile that has your heart fluttering.
“how very kind of you miss! And yes, a little company wouldn't hurt “, he grins at you.
As you strike up conversation, with the officer you fail to notice a figure dressed in black listening in on your conversation. Jungkook listens in as you try and get information out of officer. He knew it. You had also come across the same note, as he had. He wonders what yours said.
He leaves after a bit, leaving both of you oblivious to the fact that he was even there in the first place.
When you get back to your room, you see Jungkook sitting at the foot of his bed frown on his face.
You ignore him and write down the information you'd just got given by Officer Park. You felt a little bad manipulating him when he was so nice but you just had to know what it meant.
Jungkook speaks up.
“that was a nice conversation you were having with Officer Park “
He says,
You whip you’re head up to look at him and closing your notebook harshly.
“What? Were you eavesdropping on my conversation?”
He rolls his eyes
“Why would I be listening to the conservation of the school nerd with a cop? No, I just happened to hear in passing “
You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding.
“That’s mighty rude of y-" you begin to retort before he cuts you off
“what’s a biology nerd like you need with Morse code?” He asks.
Your mind malfunctions for a moment until you bring yourself back together.
“A little extra knowledge hurts no one you know?” you say appearing nonchalant.
He narrows his eyes
“I know it”
You look at him
“you do?”
He nods,
“why need something translating?” he tries.
You think about it, but ultimately decided against showing him the note you found.
You have no clue what it says. You don’t want him understanding before you do.
You shake your head,
“No, I don’t “
You say, deciding enough is enough and you need to sleep now to be up in the morning.
The next morning you sleep in, meaning that you couldn’t do the work that was set out for you. You stretch and moan as you get out of bed when you sit up and open your eyes fully your locks onto the Bambi ones from across the room. You let out a shriek!
‘What the hell why were you watching me you creeper!’ you say pointing a finger at Jungkook.
He rolls his eyes at you.
‘oh, please don’t flatter yourself’.
‘why didn’t you wake me up? Its so late !’ you question him.
He looks at you and says words that you don’t think that you would hear.
‘I think that we should lay off for a bit strawberry’
You look at him in shock
‘but why!?’
He doesn’t really give you much of an answer in his usual Jungkook manner.
You sigh.
Over the next few weeks, you rarely bump into Jungkook, you see him sometimes in the cafeteria and you can always feel him just watching you it makes you grow warm when you notice his staring.
Jungkook is also going crazy. You drive him crazy.
You guess that you'll have to work at the same pace as everyone, truthfully you had actually caught up with your work that was missed a while ago, you were just doing extra readings to stay ahead. One step ahead of everyone. But you guess that that is going to be changed now.
It had been a while since you had been on your morning trips with jungkook and though you hate to admit it, you kind of missed it.
He wasn't as bad company as you thought he would be, he was oddly quiet which meant that without him talking as much, you really got to admire his beauty. And good lord was he handsome, you understand why people are attracted to him, when his mouth is closed, he’s fine. Basically, you became a little horny when you saw him, it had been ages since you had had sex even masturbated, since you now had room with him.
Jungkook has such strong sharp features which sometimes go all soft, if he pouts while he’s thinking or a bird catches his attention, his eyes will go big and doe like. It's cute. Everybody had two sides you suppose, yours was your horny side (lol what)
Okay maybe, more time to admire him was a bad thing, you did not need to have sexual fantasies with him, no, that was a big no no.
It's been a few weeks since Jungkook had asked you to lay low for a while and in that time, you had been asking around about the killer to the police. You tried your best not to seem suspicious about it though, if they caught on – well it wouldn’t exactly end well. So, you make slow progress, you did make progress though, however.
You could now understand the note and while it scared you, it also ignited something in you that you didn’t even know that you possessed inside of you. You wanted to outdo him, you want to find him, lead him into a trap or something like that anyway. You want to catch him.
Something in the back of your mind is telling you begging you to stop being so stupid, but you ignore and continue to daydream about catching this bastard.
But it can only cure your boredom for a while – you get bored and what better to do when you're bored than to read erotica novels?
You had packed this book with you – the secrets of the alluring painter in France. You had taken to reading at night time on some nights.
Like tonight.
You need a wind down, so you pull out your book, and it has such racy scenes that leave you clenching around nothing.
Your sexual imagination goes wild when you read the erotica in the book and the way they make it seem so fiery, you were no virgin - you knew what sex was like, but never has it been close to the way it is in the book.
You’ve allowed yourself to fall into this horrible habit, at night, when Jungkook is asleep to touch yourself, play with yourself, pretending it is you who is being touched by Kim Taehyung the painter with many secrets.
You feel yourself growing more frustrated with each passage you read, it becomes a little irritating and, you have to touch yourself or you'll go crazy, the man in the book was doing it so well, so hot.
Kim Taehyung, he was described as an utter beauty, soft black hair and soft eyes, a deep voice that just made the reader swoon, you close your eyes and reach your hands down to your shorts, they slip past the hem.
You wish you could moan, wish that you could be vocal, like you were in your bedroom when it was just you and your pillow, but there was one big problem and that was Jeon Jungkook.
Why did you have to room with him?
You lighten your breathing and listen for signs of him being awake, but he seems to be breathing really deep, he is asleep you assure yourself.
You turn the lamp off, at the side of your bed, setting the book on the bedside table.
You trail your hand down your stomach, much like Taehyung had done to the main character, he slowly lets his fingers flutter over the top of her shorts, and you do the same. You build the tension, like it's his beautiful hands working against you.
You pause and let your fingers slip past the hem of your panties, you trace over the fabric covering you - first over your mound, stroking sensually.
How had Taehyung done it?
Right yes, he had used his nails slightly and grazed over lightly, a slight pressure but nothing that hurt - it was just enough to make you squirm under your own touch.
You feel your own wetness, feel how obscene it is in the darkness of the night.
Jungkook is right there, and while it scares you, it also thrills you, you feel a new wave of arousal and adrenaline when you remember he is there.
Slowly and as quietly as possible you shuffle, moving to take your shorts off, it's a little loud but you think that you're okay, Jungkook is out like a log.  After a moment you continue to tease yourself.
Running your fingertips over your lips, pressing down on your hole and clenching, withholding the need to hiss.
You raise your hand further and your fingers land right at the centre of your pleasure.
Your clit. Oh, the beautiful bundle of nerves.
You cover your mouth with a hand to stifle the moan that you almost let out when you begin to rub small circles around the sensitive nub.
When you can’t get enough your panties are next to go, and when the cold air hits your wet centre you have to hold your breath, shaky.
You reach down and gather your slick slowly, spreading it all over your centre, making yourself drown in your own arousal, you use your middle and ring finger to slide up and down at a pace that leaves you edged and eager for more, you need to bring yourself to the very edge to get yourself the release that you’re after, you free hand travels up to your ever sensitive boobs, you play with them, brushing over the nipple, making them perk and then groping them while you rub at your clit.
A dirty thought crosses your mind, when you remember the boy who was asleep across from you.
What if, he was the one to touch, the one touching you, with those beautiful hands of his, those big hands.
You stifle another moan, as you think about him, hovering over you, giving it to you just right. You had heard that Jungkook could actually make a girl cum while having sex, that made you a little interested. It’s just he always opens his mouth and is an ass and ruins everything. But right now, in your imagination, only his looks and reputation matter, you twist and turn his character to be someone that you can gain pleasure from.
You can the pleasure increase and you begin to fasten your speed until you feel the signs of your orgasm and then you pull away. Edging yourself.
Your breathing is a little heavy and your work on controlling it, both your hands go to fondle your breasts and you unconsciously lift your hips, humping the air, you lean down again and enter three fingers easily into your own heat.
The squelching sound heard is deafening in the silent room, your cheeks burn red and you pull out slowly, so that was a no no, you would have to focus on your clit for you orgasm. Which was fine because you were so sensitive from playing with yourself, you know that it would only take a few more strokes to get there.
You press the fingers that were just inside of you, against your sensitive bud and you rub in slowly circles and then fastening your place and then slowing once more.
Jungkook comes into your mind again, ugh, now his lips, his pretty pink lips and the way he licks them, and the way they glisten under the sun. What if they were attached to your clit, if he was using his face to give you pleasure, like Taehyung had done to the main character of the novel, God it was so filthy.
Its driving you insane and you love it, the frustration will only make your release all the more powerful.
After a while you feel the fire blooming in your bottom of your stomach, and you quicken your pace to the point where you feel light and the waves of pleasure rack over your whole body.
You press your hand to your mouth again to conceal the gasps that are escaping you, you sigh and fall back onto your pillow feeling so much better and lighter.
Gosh did that feel good. You were aware that in your mind alarms were going off in your mind. You had thought of Jungkook while masturbating. It was a line you have no idea why you crossed. How would you look him in the eye now?
After a while, you pull up your panties and shorts and you promise yourself a shower in the morning.
What you didn't know was that the raven-haired boy of your fantasies was in fact awake and now painfully hard as he listened to your filthy little moans and gasps, he grabs his own member in his pants, strokes slowly. He spreads the pre-cum over his member before setting the fast pace that he liked, his breaths through his nose – to conceal the way his breathing has become strained. His hair becomes damp from sweat and it sticks to his forehead. He came much faster that he would care to admit the thought of you right there yet unreachable the fact that you were so NAUGHTY under all that good girl.
Turning him on, making him needy.
He breathes heavy, thinking of you under him as he squirts out cum into his pants, Jungkook too showers in the morning after you.
After this Jungkook stays up at night, listening to you, seeing if you would do it again, you do and, on those nights, Jungkook cums at the same time as you. He feels a little pathetic, he knows that he can fuck a lot of girls in the class right, but it wasn't you, God he wants it to be you writhing underneath him.
It’s the next morning and you're getting ready for your shower.
You're gathering your clothes and shampoo and creams into a little bundle and are about to open the door to the shower, when it is opened for you. The song that you were softly humming gets stuck in your throat when you register that the door was opened by Jungkook.
A very naked Jungkook.
Your face grows red, and your eyes wander over his gorgeous body, the tattoos that trail up his arm and a few on his waist, God they looked amazing.
Your ogling comes to a stop when he clears his throat. Oh, shit you think - I was staring. You quickly look up and your eyes meet Jungkook's.
He is smirking at you and as soon as you meet his gaze, he lets his own wander over body – taken in the skin that was exposed in your pyjama shorts and a t-shirt that had been small for you since you turned 13 years old.
He looks up and down your body brazenly before meeting your eyes. He licks his lips, and you zero in on it. God it was so annoying that he was this hot.
How could this be happening now? When you had spent a while avoiding him? And him you? Why did this happen after you were thinking of him last night? Oh god you grow red again and you think what if he had heard you? God, that would be embarrassing. You look at his lips again, avoiding his gaze again but maybe his eyes would have been a better option because as soon as you look at his lips, the same filthy thoughts come back to you - you shift uncomfortably trying to calm yourself. In that time, you don't notice but Jungkook has come closer to you.
You register his closeness when a water droplet from his hair falls onto your cheek. You move away slightly.
You don’t realise it but in your extended silence of checking each other out the both of you have moved closer to each other. There is no longer what people would call a healthy distance between the two of you anymore. He looks down at you and licks his lips again. His hair is wet and the way he runs his hand through it – he looks so good like this. Your dirty thoughts run wild again. Its only when another water droplet from his hair falls onto your cheek that you finally snap out of it. You move a step back.
“You look a little hot strawberry is anything the matter?” He asks you, a teasing lilt on his voice.
It’s way too early for this, you cannot be dealing with this right now, not when your mind has gone on a memory flashback to last night and he was right here in front you, so very naked.
Still, you feign your ever composed self.
“I’m just fine” you say through gritted teeth.
“I need to shower and your kind of standing in my way” you tell him.
He chuckles, a deep chuckle, gosh how are you this horny in the morning? Stop it y/n you think.
“I don't think you really mind though do you strawberry, you seem to have a very different secretive side” he says, cocking his head to the side.
You blush, shit had he heard you?
“I have no idea what you're talking about Jungkook” you say to him “I need to shower though”.
You move to get away from his hearted stare but just before you enter the washroom, a hand grabs onto your wrist and pulls you back.
Jungkook looks at you, a deep and confusing stare.
“Be careful, it’s quite wet in there” he says and then his tongue pokes into the side of his cheek. Then suddenly, he lets you go and walks off to his side of the room, your left in shock at his words and quickly scurry to get into the bedroom before more heated tension breaks through.
You shake your head of all thoughts and quickly go into the shower, what you don’t realise is that you accidently drop something, the note with the raven-haired boy who you had left in the bedroom.
Its later on during this day that Jungkook approaches you.
'Hey strawberry’ he says to you.
You raise your eyebrows at him, what’s with his sudden kindness.
‘hey’ you reply voice dipped in surprised.
‘Oh, shut up, I just came to talk to you’.
You look at him.
‘I didn’t say anything but okay…. talk then’ you gesture your hands between your two bodies.
He lets out an exasperated gasp.
‘The note – did you find one?’ he asks. You still in the next sip of coffee that you were going to take. You feel yourself grow cold. How did he find out?
He looks at you.
‘So, you did’.
‘I didn’t say that’ you say tone slightly higher than normal – you were a terrible liar.
He laughs at you
‘Hmm is that so?’
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about Jungkook’.
He looks at you, more serious this time.
“Listen y/n there's no point playing dumb, I found your stupid note anyway”.
You watch mortified as he pulls out the note that you had thought was in your pocket. Well shit then.
“I- I have never seen that before in my life Jungkook” you can't let him know; he would ruin everything - you convince yourself.
He looks at you, he’s getting annoyed that you're lying to him. He pokes his tongue against his cheek again.
“I suggest you stop lying”.
You scoff.
“Why would I ever need to lie to you your nobody to me Jungkook”.
Something akin to hurt flashes across his face for a few seconds before he slams his hands on the table.
“I don’t think you know what you're even getting into strawberry”.
You gather your belongings getting up, you need to get away from him.
“And I don't think you know what the fuck you're talking about Jungkook”.
You walk off leaving him there, but he follows after you,
“Listen I found one too, you don't need to be miss hero or anything”.
You carry on walking, not bothering to give him an answer, he would want to tell the teachers and everyone, they would cancel the trip and then how would you finish gathering your evidence? No, he was insane.
“I don’t know what you're talking about”.
‘you think your so fucking slick, don’t you? Asking around and acting unsuspicious but your wrong I could sense your stupid plan from a mile away’ he says to you, pulling you on your arm effectively stopping you so you can't walk away from him anymore. You struggle out of his hold.
‘and so, what? So, what if you know? What the hell are you going to do Jungkook? Tell on me? Are you going to threaten to tell the teachers because you know what? I’ve been thinking about it and I think they would much rather take my word for yours and all this work I’ve been doing for you – I could easily go right now and show the teachers and say that you forced me to do it!! ’
He looks at you angrily, looks like he is going to swear or curse you out but then his face relaxes.
‘you say that baby, but the truth is I have money and you don’t if I want to manipulate something I can because I have the means and power to do so, my dad's made himself something while yours totted away in the fucking garbage can’.
You feel the anger come over you and he smirks at you.
‘real fucking classy Jeon, yeah insult my parents – like it's their fault they were born into a world where people are born with silver spoons on their mouth, and at least my parents love me Jungkook’
His eyes flash with hurt
‘how do you now my parents don't love me you little bitch?’
You laugh an empty laugh at his face.
‘just look at you – you’re the very definition of boohoo my parents don't love me so I'm going to kick up a mess, so they notice me for once’.
He groans in frustration at your words then.
Somehow amidst your confrontation with Jungkook you had managed to reach your room, why are you here? Why did your feet have to leave you here?
You walk into the room and as soon as he gets in, Jungkook grabs you by the wrist and pins you against the door, your books and pencils fly across the room and while your mortified - he doesn't even bat an eyelid.
Your breathing is both heavy as you look each other in the eyes, waiting for the other to say something.
You struggle against his hold, uselessly, curse him for doing his workout routine every morning.
“You found the fucking note y/n when you went missing in the woods that day, the note that’s in Morse code, the note that you spent a week trying to decode, don't act fucking dumb” he grits out.
You still try and keep up your act,
“I have no clue in the world what you're talking Jeon, I think you're going fucking insane” you seethe out
He growls, yes, he growls.
“Your seriously fucking pissing me off now, I know you did, I know you found it”.
“Fuck off, Jungkook does it look like I care if I am fucking pissing you off”.
He looks into your eyes again and whispers something like “fucking priss” before he is connecting your lips in a kiss, a kiss that is full of ego, passion and heat. You can feel in searing through your body so fiery, setting your nerves alight.
He is relentless in his pace. His mouth against yours and God indeed Jungkook is good kisser. Before you knees grow weak you move your hands to tangle in his hair and you pull at the end causing him groan against his lips, when he does you swipe your tongue into his mouth getting a taste. You pull harder, and he groans again. It was a sound that you know you would like to hear again.
His hands move from the door and one tangles in your hair while the other presses harshly on your waist. You gasp at the pleasure and at this he takes over, he fights your own tongue for dominance and once he wins, he is rough, he wants all his saliva in your mouth, wants his taste on you, wants you to feel him in every way.
When he knows that your just as enthralled by his kisses he pulls back to taunt you - whispering the words against you bruised lips.
“You act like such a fucking little priss don't you? Act like your better than me? Lying to me? Fuck you drive me insane”.
He attacks your neck now, leaving open mouthed kisses along your ear and neck. He nibbles lightly at a few areas and when he gets to just the right place - where your breath hitches and you move your thighs together he bites down harshly without warning and you try you best to suppress your moans. Not wanting to give him any satisfaction.
“I am better than you” you say to him breathlessly, “I don’t just act like it, I am”.
He bites harder at that and you wince - Jungkook is painting you skin wine and purple and your letting him and it feels so goddamn good. He pulls you back by the hair to look at him,
“You don't look much better than me when you are bending at my will, when you're looking so fucked out and I’ve done is fucking kiss you”.
Your answer is swallowed by a moan that you let out as he takes you breasts into his big hands, and squeezes hard, you pull him up from your neck and kiss him again, his lips, your lips bruising and fighting against one another.
He trails his hand down further and dances around the hem of your pants for a while, and you place your own over his, just as your about to lead him further down a knock is heard at your door.
You both freeze
“y/n?” A voice calls out.
You calm yourself before answering, still a little shaky.
“Yes?”
“Our guest speaker has arrived, I just thought you might like to ask him a few questions before he gives his talk”.
Jungkook swears under his breath, raking a hand through his hair.
“You fucking nerd”.
He pulls you back by your pony tail and the back of your head lands on his shoulder, he tilts you slightly, so he has better access to kiss and leave more marks against your skin.
“Ah- I thank you, I’ll come in an ah- while” you say, and you hear the footsteps walk off, Jungkook spins you around and he goes to kiss you again, but you pull away.
“No, just, stop I have to go and talk”.
He looks at you “you fucking nerd” he kisses you once more, like he can't get enough of your mouth.
You pull away again.
uh what in the fuck just happened you think.
This was not meant to happen.
“Look Jungkook, I did, that is my note and I- I’ll, we can talk just not now, okay? I-I have to go. This is important"
He doesn't say anything, just watches as you fix your appearance in the mirror, an appearance he had ruined, and he smirks a little in triumph. He watches as you gather your books that had been thrown onto the floor and he watches as your ass is on display for him and God, he wishes he could grab a handful, but he doesn’t. He just watches.
You walk out the room, without so much as looking at him again and he feels oddly rejected.
He knows that you had felt good, he had heard you groan against his mouth, grind against his clothed member but he hadn't ever been walked out on before. He's not sure what exactly he is feeling. Its not a good feeling - that he was walked out on and for some old ass lecturer too.
He watches the door close, and he sits and waits for you to finish being a nerd. But truthfully it is a little hot to him that you’re so independent, you do things for yourself, your confidence and your wit, it makes you fun, you piss him off, but your company is nicer than the ones that he is used to.
He sighs what the fuck is he getting himself into.
You take a breath as you exit the room,
What in the fuck just happened? you think.
Well, when you promised Jungkook that you would talk to him you hadn't been in your right mind.  Why did you agree to that like fuck? You have no idea what to even say. How do you even start that conversation like...?
"Hey, was just wondering if you would like to you know? Go on a hunt for a serial killer with me?"
Gosh this was so stupid and the kiss, gosh your face heats up as you remember the way he had kissed you - oh so sweet and so naughty!
Gosh you were in bad, as an adult you decide to deal with the problem logically, you'll just ignore him. That will work, Jungkook had a small attention span anyway. You're sure he would forget. You really hope he does.
371 notes · View notes
teklarn · 3 years ago
Text
𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓶𝔂 𝓫𝓸𝔂𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾 (𝓹𝓽. 2)
 character(s): katsuki bakugou x gn!reader 
a/n: ok so i just started writing on tumblr and honestly in my opinion for my first time posting smth on this the first part did really well thank u for all the likes :) (told from second pov; e.g you, your) reblogs are greatly appreciated :))
summary: bakugou x gn!reader. they have feelings for one another but have no idea how to express them, however y/n has someone pining for their attention. 
genre: a lil bit angsty 
warnings: cursing, jealousy, mutual pining, slow burn romance, aged-up to third year, love triangle (square?), physical injuries, kirishima gets a little toxic, also shirtless bakugou (awooga), a crap ton of time skips bc i can’t write action scenes for shit, bakugou is a flirt (lowkey but yeah), mentions of blood 
word count: 2112
pt 1 , pt 3
- - - 
kirishima had broken the skin on his lower lip with how hard he was biting it. he stood in the bathroom, rinsing his mouth, ignoring the slight sting the water brought. 
y/n was currently being blasted by bakugou, and they were fighting back. 
jealousy panged in his chest. 
bakugou had never let him know about how he felt about you, however kirishima was sure he felt something for them. you and bakugou were both a jumble of prideful and longing stares towards each other from across every room. the tension was thick enough to slice through. and while kirishima would never make a move in fear of ruining the friendship between him and bakugou, as well as him and y/n, gosh it didn’t stop him from wanting to. 
he’d stood on the side, cheering you on to no end. the sports festival last year, the year before that, training exercises, he was always there. kirishima was always there. 
whenever you needed him, whenever you wanted his company. so what did bakugou have over him? sure, the blond was strong and had bigger goals than kirishima, but why should that matter? 
what did bakugou have? why would you want him more when he was never near you? never made an effort to see you to be there when you asked for help. 
it was popular belief that bakugou was a noisy idiot, but he was actually quite a quiet boy. he didn’t bother to raise his hand in class, however he always knew the answer. he spoke rarely and only made conversation with those he was close with if they were the ones to make the effort to converse with him first. 
jealousy, jealousy, jealousy. kirishima despised it. 
whenever did he begin wanting to beat bakugou at something? 
the cloud of guilt welling up in his chest was going to become unbearable, and soon everything he ever wanted to say was going to come up like word vomit at the worst possible time. 
you swiped at your cheek, brushing off the crumbling dirt. your timing had been off, and their flip backwards had landed you in an awkward position. a vulnerable one. 
honestly, though, it wasn’t like it really mattered. bakugou was a bit transparent himself. he wore a smug look like a golden medal, and held back his power just enough to keep you on your feet. 
his cocky attitude was irritating and it drew you in like a moth drawn to a lamp. 
sweat was beading down your temple. the day was exceptionally hot, the sun beaming down on your back like a proud child. 
you and bakugou had been at it for a while. with anyone else, you would have quit by now. it’s not that you gave up easily. no, not ever. but fights could get boring, especially if you were just smashing away at them with your quirk and they were acting like they could take it. 
perhaps you were being cocky. 
this fight, though. this was interesting. not only because it was bakugou; also because you knew so little about him. 
it was likely he never shared anything important to anyone. he was quite introverted. 
it was interesting for another reason. 
it was hot, bakugou sweats a lot. gosh, he looked delicious without a shirt on. he had a built figure accompanied by strong arms and a broad chest. 
he’d filled out quite nicely the past few years. you hadn’t noticed until now how much he’d grown. 
“don’t get distracted.” 
your eyes snapped up from his chest to his eyes. bakugou became a blur, shooting himself off the ground and flipping once in the air before propelling himself back down. 
before you could do anything, bakugou had you pinned, one leg pinning yours, both his hands wrapped around your wrists. he’d ditched his gauntlets, leaving the metal assistants in the sweltering heat, claiming he wanted to give you an equal fight. 
he panted atop you, hands tightening. 
tokage didn’t bother to leave her dorm today, thank goodness. it had just been the three of you. you, bakugou, and kirishima. 
the red head had suspiciously vanished halfway through the fight, though.
bakugou’s crimson eyes bored into yours. neither of you blinked for a moment. perhaps just a small eternity each of you silently reveled in. 
his erratic breaths slowed, and so did yours, although you stayed the same. unmoving, faces neutral but eyes giving away long-held secrets. 
your ears flushed, and butterflies came rising up uncontrollably. you should have pushed him off. instead you gave him a wicked grin, which earned a look from him and you couldn’t tell if he was confused or annoyed. 
“your big ass forehead is blocking the bright-as-hell sun. stay like this,” you mocked, wrenching your wrists from his grasp and snaking your arms around his neck. 
his cheeks burned red. “w-what?” 
“you heard me.” 
he scoffed, tugging you off his neck and standing. “shut up, shitface. we aren’t even done yet.” he readied himself in a fighting stance once more. 
“i thought you said you wanted to stop when you won?” you brushed yourself off as you stood. 
“i know what i said. you probably weren’t even giving it your all.” 
“’course i was.” you cocked your head. “why wouldn’t i?” 
“you’re strong, damn idiot.” 
you feigned surprise, pressed a hand to your fluttering chest. “the bakugou, dynamight himself, complimenting a humble soul like me? oh, i really must be good, then.” 
“not as good as me.” his face dropped from a smile. bakugou never got enough training no matter how early or late he stayed up, or how many hours on the weekends were spent kicking a bag or sparring with friends. hard workers did all of the work there was a still wondered if they were doing enough. the number one spot wasn’t empty, but it was still reserved for dynamight. 
y/n had collapsed on their bed. kirishima was itching to tell them how he felt, however he was stuck at the doorway. 
they weren’t even dressed for bed, nor were they showered. 
he settled with leaving his friend alone, and shut the door softly to find bakugou standing right behind him. 
kirishima jumped back, closing his eyes in relief. “bakugou. what the heck man?” 
“you’re creepy as shit.” 
“i- what? you were the one staring at me while i-” 
“while you peeped in on y/n?” 
“i wasn’t peeping. i walked them back after the fight and they just collapsed. you were off doing something else and you worked them too hard.” 
it wasn’t a shock that bakugou was still riled up from the duel. this boy had the energy of a mad man. 
when bakugou didn’t say anything, kirishima said once again, “you overworked them.” 
bakugou swat away the comment. “only because they’re not working hard enough.” 
kirishima raised an eyebrow. “they work hard. they’re perfectly fine.” 
“fine?” 
“they’re amazing.”
“i know that, shitty hair. you think i’m blind?” 
“everyone can make improvements at their own pace.” kirishima’s voice dropped. 
“you train with me.” 
“it’s an hour before curfew.” 
bakugou jut a thumb in the direction of the door. “so? maybe you need some more practice, too,” he joked. 
“you’re an ass, bakugou,” kirishima released a breathy chuckle. 
the two wandered off to one of the training grounds. it was open, a wide court where they’d both kicked someone else’s ass. 
the sun was just setting, a new cool breeze coming to fill the spot of the violent sun rays. 
it was routine to fight each other out of nowhere. kirishima was usually quite playful, spewing jokes once in a while and taunting his friend. 
this fight was different. his face was stone-cold. kirishima often took the defensive role, as his quirk didn’t allow him to project any direct attacks to bakugou.
it wasn’t like kirishima was angry at bakugou, but as soon as they started charging towards one another, he couldn’t hold back. his chest tightened, arms hardening and joints becoming strong and stiff. 
with one clean sweep of his arm, bakugou was backing away from kirishima, propelling himself to the edge of the arena with a small blast. he’d always been up for a challenge. kirishima was willing to give him one. 
his sudden competitive demeanor seemed to be egging on bakugou’s. the blond tongued the inside of his cheek, grunting as he shot forth, hair flying wildly. 
swiftly, kirishima dodged, just barely missing a blast. his torso wasn’t hardened, so if he’d dodged any later, his stomach would have been scorched. 
bakugou always took their fights seriously. he knew better than to underestimate the boy who had put together his very own rescue mission. 
kirishima’s opponent stumbled from the momentum. he took his chance and brought a hardened elbow down on bakugou’s back, hearing a satisfying crack. 
bakugou was crushed to the ground with the hit. his face smashed into the sandy ground. he coughed, turning over and spitting dirt to the side. 
it took a moment for him to register what he did, but kirishima was at bakugou’s side within seconds. the sun was nearly gone, a pale blue sky flickering with the first sights of stars. 
it was hard to make it out at first, but not impossible. kirishima saw the blood dripping and smeared just above bakugou’s lip. he groaned, cupping his face in both hands as he sat upright. 
“argh” bakugou gasped. “shit, kirishima. what the hell?” 
“i...i’m sorry dude, i didn’t mean to.” i wanted to, but i didn’t mean to. 
bakugou raised an eyebrow and let a smile seep through his pain. “you’re improving, though.” 
“are you alright?” kirishima traced the small cut on his lip from earlier with the tip of his tongue. 
“i’m fine, i’m fine.” bakugou swatted his hand away. he struggled to get up, refusing kirishima’s help. 
“we should head back before this gets any worse.” 
bakugou kept his large hands hovering under his chin to catch the dripping and occasional chunks of blood.  
although he wanted the duel to continue (it was finally interesting) bakugou wasn’t stubborn enough to keep going. so he nodded, once again denying kirishima’s efforts to help him out. 
you were in the common area, fiddling with a rubik’s cube. it was just you, as everyone else was spending the night among each other. ashido had invited you to her dorm a while ago, but you’d denied, wanting to spend a few more giddy moments to yourself. 
the door rattled, and in came your two friends, one with furrowed brows and the other with blood drenching the front of his shirt. 
bakugou’s head was tilted up in an attempt to stop the blood from flowing down. his adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed the blood trailing down the back of his throat. 
“oh my gosh,” you gasped out, racing to the bathroom. you came back with sanitary wipes in one hand and tissue in the other. “what happened?” 
“we were training,” kirishima started, taking a few tissues from the box and handing them to his friend, “and i accidentally hit him too hard.” 
“you didn’t hit me that hard. you barely did any damage!” bakugou objected. you approached him, and through his fingers, bakugou peered down at you. 
you asked him with your eyes, and he gave you silent permission to pry his arms away from his face. “are you okay?” 
“i’m just dandy,” he scoffed. 
“dude, i’m really sorry—” 
“shut the hell up kirishima. i don’t want your pity. i swear this is the only time i’ll surrender to you, you asswipe.”
you didn’t laugh, not even a chuckle. “bakugou, you need to see recovery girl.” 
“what the hell? no way. all she’s gonna do is give me one of those shitty slobbery kisses and scold me for being careless.” 
“your nose is broken,” you said gently. 
“so? can’t you fix it?” 
you raised a questioning brow. “you want me to help you?” 
“can you or can you not?” 
“i can try to set it but you’re better off going to recovery girl instead of settling with―” 
“all i need is possible. i don’t want to deal with that old lady’s shit right now.” using the tissues kirishima had stuffed into his hand, he caught the remaining blood dripping down his nose. “let’s go.” 
you were more than unsure. he would end up with a crooked nose if you made any small mistake, but he didn’t think twice as he grabbed your shoulder and led you in the direction of your dorm. 
kirishima wished he hadn’t broken bakugou’s nose. not because he felt bad, though. 
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souichieatr · 4 years ago
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wanna be yours, ch2
suna x freader , foxy boy
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where in which two opposites fall in love
a/n: for everyone who commented on the posts youve been added sorry i cant reply <//3 if you're interested in being in the taglist send me an ask, i was thinking of making a playlist for the au would anyone be interested? lmk !! sorry if there are any mistakes or if its bad this is my first writing <3
ch1. this voice im hearing rn? , hey bestie
word count: 2,090
the first song- The Ghost of You- my chemical romance
second song- I Bet on Losing dogs- mitski
third song- Crybaby- destroy boys
pocketing her phone after reading tendous message, she opens the door waving to a couple friends and offers friendly smile taking her seat. a pair of pale green eyes follow her. after yesterday suna did a little research about her y/n y/l/n the bassist and youngest in the band called 4u, she has quite a big following on twitter, she's really nice and interacts with the fans. looking at her now you can't imagine her on stage suna thought. breaking away from his thoughts as the teacher walks in. spouting for about what feels like hours and the students taking notes, finally lunch approaches. y/n jumps from her seat grabbing her case she walks to the third year hallway. waving to her friends they walk to her, tendou wrapping his arms around her “y/n!!!!!! i missed you” laughing as she hugged him back “tendou!!! i missed you toooo.” she turns to the grey haired male, “semisemi!!” she says giving him a hug, he rolls his eyes and hugs her back “and ushi!!” she turns to the brunette to which he pats her head “good afternoon y/n.” as they go to the lunch room to grab their lunch, they walk to one of the music rooms they usually occupy. a beep from her phone grabs her attention seeing her friend atsumu asking if him his twin and their friend can join for lunch, “hey guys you dont mind if atsumu and his friends come join us?” she says setting down her case against the wall. “nah you can invite them, atsumu is our biggest hype man” tendou says, grabbing his drum sticks from his back pocket. texting him its cool she goes to unzip her bass. “oh ms lady ive missed you” she says hugging the instrument, “i can't believe you two and always wanting to play, dont yall have any other hobby?” semi says, grabbing the schools given guitar setting the speaker up for y/n. tendou gives a scoff “semisemi dont act like you hate hearing us play i see you listening to our covers alllll the timeeeee” he says “yeah semi besides we have a concert soon and it wouldnt be bad to have an audience” y/n says walking to semi to connect her bass to the speaker when the door opens, entering is atsumu in the middle, osamu on his left, and a mystery guy in the back. setting her bass down running up to the blond “tsumu!!” giving him a hug “y/n!!” he hugs her back, she waves to osamu, who shes met on an occasion. looking towards the dark haired guy she walks up to him, noticing shes seen him somewhere. “youre suna right? we're in the same class?” she says giving him a hand and a awkward smile, nodding at her words. “hope its okay im here” he says taking her hand giving a slight shake. “nah dont worry its nice to have a different face, seeing tsumu is getting boring” turning around to the male. “what she means to say is we could use practice in front of new people” the grey haired male says giving a small laugh when tendou scoffs at him, both guys walking towards the small group. “this is semi and this is tendou” she says introducing them. when the introductions are over the two males go back to setting up, y/n walks the newcomers to the sitting area “here you guys can sit, im sure you all know ushijima” on hearing his name he looks up from his name giving a small head bow. they all sit “any recommendations tsumu?” y/n says walking to her bass making sure everything was good, looking towards the small group. “y/n you know my favorites” atsumu says stealing one of his brothers onigiri. y/n laughs and rolls her eyes, turning to tendou “anything you wanna try tori?” tendou looks at her with a smile “y/n lets show semi whatweve been working on” hearing this semi looked at them “what do you guys mean? what did you two do” y/n chuckles at the grey hairs doubtful expression “mr semisemi you know your favorite mcr song” when she sees him nod she continues “me and tori learned it” she says pushing him lightly. semi looked at her with wide eyes then at tendou, looking at semi tendou flicked his drum stick between his fingers with a nod. “wow semi cant believe you, we spent so much hours perfecting a my chemical romance for your sap self and he doesn't believe us y/nie i might
” tendou says fake sniffing. the little group in the back beyond confused, atsumu clearing his throat “have you three forgotten us already, wheres our show” ushijima nodding his head “yeah why are you guys being so vague” tendou snickers “dont worry you three and wakatoshi we have decided to play a new song or well cover i should say” “yeah and its semi’s favorite band you know the one that he wears on his shirts?” ushijima looking towards the girl after hearing her statement he nods. “okay can we play now ive been waiting to show my skills and get our lovely semi's opinion” y/n says removing her pick, both boys giving a ‘yeah’. finally tendou does the countdown. suna looks at all three of them with slight excitement in his stomach, ‘is this a new song im going to hear?’ before he could think of anything else, semi started playing a few chords by himself and y/n starting to add her own strums then tendou adding drums. sunas eyes widen at how well all the sounds blended together, freezing in his spot when semi started singing, when hitting the chorus y/n joins him. suna looking at her, he felt like he had been put in a trance, feeling like theres a spotlight on her when she starts nodding her head seeing her tongue sticking out when stringing the instrument. towards the end you can see y/n lose focus and her eye twitches, ending the song she sighs. “hey sorry about the end” waving to the guys to her left with a frown. hearing applause from the group the frown doesnt last long. “WHOOO!!!!! THAT WAS MY BESTIES GO SEMI! GO TENDOU! GO Y/N!!” atsumu gets up and yells. “that was so good what the hell that was yer first time too?” he says going up to the group, high-fiving y/n. “i mean me and tendou practiced together but semi basically has every song by them memorized but together? yeah our first.” tendou getting up to get his water that was next to ushijima. semi joining the fake blond and the girl, patting her on her back “that was a good first for us i can tell you and tendou worked hard, we're definitely adding it to the set list.” getting a laugh from both of them semi walks to the small group. “hey man that was really good, you have a nice voice” suna says as semi approaches, semi turned to him surprised “oh thank you im glad you enjoyed, do you listen to our stuff?” he says taking a seat next to him. “ive recently just started, i hope that doesnt sound too weird” the dark haired suddenly getting a little embarrassed, chuckling “its not weird i promise, well its good you listen to us or im sure it would've been awkward to just be here” nodding along to what he said. tendou going back to the drums “are you cowards tapping out now?” “COWARDS?!?!” y/n yells back turning around “i am no coward tendou satori i'll make you eat those words semi get over here” she said grabbing semis attention and shooing atsumu back to his seat. chuckling as he sat back down, turning to suna “howd ya like em? theyre good huh?” suna rolling his eyes “im not going to help inflate your ego tsumu” “yeah tsumu yer big ego is not cute” gasping to their remarks “you guys are so mean to me, i introduce you to nice music and even the artists and this is the thanks i get” before any could respond tendou starts clicking his sticks. starting this one is tendou with a slower sound, y/n entering second then semi with vocals. y/n leans down to mess with something by her foot turning a notch noises like static come out adding to the music, coming up fast she starts adding her vocals complimenting semis. pressing on the box she leans down as more noises come out. atsumu leans over to sunas ear “thats a pedal that holds other sounds and can help stretch other sounds” suna giving him a nod. towards the end y/n reaches down to the pedal again adding a distorted sound before adding her last bit of ‘oohs’ before the song ends. everyone clapping as the members stay still for s bit before y/n dramatically bows “youre so welcome lovely audience” she says blowing kisses to them, laughing at her atsumu jumps up and down pretending to be a crazy fan “oh y/n you were so go
od i love you y/n!!!” y/n laughing at him. “hey atsumu what about me!” tendou asks swinging his hand “howd i do?” “oh tendou you were so good, i love you too tendou!!!” he says swinging his arm back. tendou satisfied with his response nods his head, “and with that lets play one more i still want time to actually eat before we play again later.” “yeah lets try ‘crybaby’ we haven't done that in awhile” semi says getting in position.“remember y/n you do the verses” y/n nods clearing her throat “go tori” she says and tendou starts the counting again. starting the counting fast he gets one beat then y/n starts off with singing, swinging her bass back she grabs the mic. suna cracks a smile nodding his head a little as he remembers this song on their youtube, atsumu whistling when y/n dips down her mic as she sings, letting the boys have a solo in between verses she bobs her head. the last few seconds of the song she swings the instrument back as she steps on the pedal creating feedback, as semi goes to vocals she starts getting a solo with tendou playing, y/n leans forward and her and semi sing the rest of the song. after the last note they all look out of breath. clapping for them again letting them catch their breath, y/n starts laughing “i forget how hard that song is towards the end” laughing with her tendou nods “its literally the last 50 seconds that get the hardest” “alright lets clean up” semi says laughing at both of their bored looks they send him. finishing up they all go to the group whove are talking among themselves. sighing as she sits y/n takes the seat next to suna, “so howd you like the songs?” she says with a smile “they were good though i only recognized the last one” he replies, “tsumu told me you started listening to us recently so i thought or well semi thought wed show off a bit with our best song being that” she says with a smile grabbing her bottle. a small smile appears on his face “oh hey tsumu told me youre like really good in your classes and i really need help in history and since we have that group project coming up do you wanna pair up?” she says setting her bottle down grabbing a bag of chips. “yeah i dont mind as long as you actually do something and i can help you study if your grade is that bad” he says. “thatd actually help me out a lot i really appreciate it” she lets a breath out. after that the two spent all lunch just talking, the conversation coming easy for both of them. hearing the bell ring y/n hugs her friends and walks with suna to their class, pairing up in the project the teacher had given them in their period. after class before y/n rushed out she passed him her number with a wink “text me for the deets foxy boy.” ‘foxy boy? suna thought to himself shaking his head texting her with a simple ‘hey its suna’ and heading home.
facts !
during lunch when suna and y/n we're talking the followed each other on twitter
semi was really touched they learned the mcr song
the 4u concert is at a small venue but no one really cares about the other groups going there
osamu and atsumu almost started fighting over the onigiri until suna said something about ushijima being right there
atsumu was watching suna and y/n talking
osamu actually really enjoyed being there during lunch
—taglist
@applekenm , @xhanjisungiex , @astronomyturtle , @sirachano0dles , @yn-tingz , @killmepls-uwu , @bakugouswh0r3
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starcherryberry · 5 years ago
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ℂ𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕣𝕤 → 𝕐𝔾 𝕩 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕩 𝕁𝕂 | 𝕄.
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→ ❝ With your final semester left of university you expected to go through it easily however an issue with your credits leads you to take Professor Min’s Painting 101 course.❞
☾ Pairing: Professor!Yoongi Painter!Yoongi x Student!Reader x Student!Jungkook (this was suppose to be a yoongi x reader but somehow my mind wandered and jungkook came in lmao it be like that sometimes)
☾ Type: Poly!Relationship (literally you won’t see it until like the ending but oops)
☾ Genre: Smut  ☆  Angst  ☆  Fluff
☾ Word Count: 7.3k
↠ Warnings: there is an age gap between all characters involved, if you are not comfortable with that please refrain from reading. Dom!Yoongi, Dom!Jungkook, Big Cock!Yoongi, Big Cock!Jungkook, Sub!Reader, fingering, Public Sex in classroom, Body Worship (mainly JK), cockwarming (sort of not really but like for a few mins) unprotected sex (jeez many times someone wrap their doodles please)
✉ Song Recommendations: (I love kdrama osts don’t hate me, also these are all spotify links so use youtube if you don’t have it) (Legit none of these fit the tone of the fic I just luv to recommend sht hehe)
♡ Weki Meki- Love Diamond
♡  Jus2- Take
♡  Junggigo- Too Good
♡  Punch, Glabingo- Beautiful Beautiful (watch hit the top it’s a beautiful kdrama hehe)
✉ Note: Anyways this is my first fic to be uploaded on tumblr! I spent a long time revising & working on this legit I have been staring at my computer for way too long and my eyes hurt because I wanted to get this out. It’s currently 4am as I upload this so if there are errors in the text I apologize in advance. (a girl is tired) Please don’t steal! This fanfic was inspired by the constant Youtube painting lives Yoongi has had. In the midst of writing I added Jungkook because he added more into the story. I was thinking of making this into a Occupation!BTS collection where I can make one for each member with different story lines. Let me know if you want me to do so in the comments below! (okay im talking to much bye)
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“Y/N it seems like you still need 4 more credits added to your schedule to be eligible to graduate this semester.” your advisor told you. You honestly didn’t know you still needed more credits to graduate, you never cared to look. So when it came to registering, you signed up for the courses you needed as part of your International Studies degree. 
“What courses are still available for registration?” you asked even though you knew the number of courses to be left must be very few. “Well there is one course open, it’s Professor Min’s Painting 101. He’s a new professor here so it makes sense as to why not many students signed up with him yet.  Even though this course isn’t a requirement for your major, it will definitely cover up for the credits you need Y/N so I suggest you sign up for this. His course runs every Friday at 1 pm-3 pm” your advisor said as she handed you a summary of Professor Min’s course.
You looked over the summary of the course to know what you’re getting yourself into. It was a 101 class so of course, you will be in a class full of freshmen. That wasn’t too exciting however you didn’t mind painting, you are actually quite great at it as a hobby. With one last look at the sheet, you turn to your advisor “Okay I’ll take the course”.
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It was finally Friday and today includes your very first class with Professor Min. Unfortunately, you couldn’t go on Rate My Professor to see what kind of teacher was he since he’s new. ‘I swear if he’s an asshole, I’m gonna give him a fucking one’ you thought to yourself. 
You were standing right in front of his classroom, sighing you stepped in to see a couple of students already seated. You tried looking for a seat next to an empty one only to see none, so you had to sit next to someone. Looking around the classroom to observe the students there, you saw a boy with long hair covering his eyes. ‘He looks like someone who won’t speak to me that’s perfect’ you thought as you made your way over and sat next to the boy. 
The boy looked up, staring at you for a bit before speaking “Hello! My name is Jungkook” he said smiling. ‘Oh for fuck’s sake, I forgot how friendly these freshmen are on the first day because they have no friends’ you thought. “Uh, h-hi my name is Y/N” you waved slightly at him. 
“Are you majoring in arts too?” he asked, his eyes were wide in a cute way. “No, actually I’m an International Studies major. I’m only taking this course for extra credits to graduate” you smiled at him. “Oh...so you must be older than me” he chuckled. You had, to be honest, his laugh was pretty cute. “Yeah I’m 22 however I’d like to think I was younger” you laughed and Jungkook laughed with you. You and Jungkook continued to talk until class began.
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Suddenly the door opened and revealed a man who looked young with long brown and blonde hair. ‘Fuck he’s hot’ you thought as your gaze focused on him walking in. Jungkook leaned in and whispered in your ear “He’s quite the eye candy right” and you nodded. What else were you supposed to say of course you didn’t expect your painting professor to be a man who looked like he was in his mid 20’s. 
Professor Min’s eyes scanned the classroom before stopping on you for a bit. You could feel your face reddening as you felt his gaze on you. ‘Fuck stop thinking like this Y/N’. As you looked up at Professor Min he broke the stare and sat at his desk. “Okay, my name is Professor Min and welcome to my Painting 101 class, this course will include beginner level painting. You will learn the steps to becoming a better painter. I expect each and every one of you to come out of this class with at least more confidence in the arts.” he said as he looked over the class. 
Professor Min then took out his clipboard with the attendance sheet. He checked off each student one by one before hovering over your name tilting his head before looking up at you “Miss Y/N?” You immediately looked up at him “Yes?”. “It says here you’re a senior majoring in International Studies, is there a reason why you’re taking my course?” he asked still having his gaze on you.
“Ah um well I needed an extra course to get enough credits to graduate this semester and your course was the only option. However, I really like to paint as a hobby so I thought this class would be easy to take!” You answered trying to sound like you’re happy with taking the class. Professor Min nodded to your response “I see well welcome to the class as well” he smiled before standing up. 
“So for today’s class, we’ll start easy. Each of you will be doing individual work today by making a simple painting of your choice. I decided to make this a first-day activity because I want to see where you are in terms of levels of performance with painting however expect me to make some comments as this is a college course not a high school course. This will be due in class today. I expect each of you to explain your paintings and why you made them the way they are. You have 2 hours, so please get to your stations, the materials needed are on the carts in the corner.” Professor Min stated as he went back to his desk and started to go over some paperwork while we all began to work.
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The two hours of painting were almost up and to be honest you were very satisfied with your painting. You painted two pink roses tied together that were falling from the sky. ‘Professor Min is going to love this’ you smiled at the thought. Jungkook looked over your shoulder to see what you painted and laughed a bit. “That’s definitely very simple but it’s cute Y/N,” he laughed giving you a light pat on the back. You turned to see what Jungkook painted to see that he made a fucking portrait of himself A PORTRAIT! “What the fuck Jungkook how did you get that done within just 2 hours?” you ask as now you felt not so confident in your painting anymore. “Well, I am a visual arts major what did you expect” Jungkook laughed as you rolled your eyes.
“Okay the 2 hours are up, I will start walking around the class to individually speak about your paintings. Once I grade them you can leave the classroom. I will post your homework for the week on canvas so make sure to check!” Professor Min said as he started to walk around the classroom to grade students.
Soon enough he reached Jungkook and he had no problem explaining his portrait of himself. “I really love the details of your painting Jungkook, I can see you will probably be one of the more advanced skilled students in our class, your grade for this assignment is an A” Professor Min smiled as he then turned to your painting. Jungkook had packed up his things and waved at you before leaving the classroom. 
It was just you and Professor Min in the classroom so the amount of nervousness you felt was really high. “Alright Y/N explain your painting to me” he asked as he looked directly at you. “Well, as you can see I painted two pink roses tied together that are also in the midst of falling from the sky. I actually didn’t know what to paint at the beginning if I had to be honest but I just let my head flow with whatever came to my mind first which was roses. Roses signify love, I’ve actually never felt that before but pink roses comfort me a lot which is why I painted them falling from the sky. The roses are not within the grass they are falling because they haven’t gotten to me even though I think about them a lot.” You were satisfied with your answer as you smiled at Professor Min.
He nodded and looked at your painting again. “I like the story behind this painting Y/N however I feel like you can add more detail in your painting. Maybe add something else to pair with the flowers or add some scenery behind it so it doesn’t look like a plain sky. I see lots of paintings like this Y/N and it’s too simple for the meaning behind it when other paintings look exactly like this. Try and add more of your other feelings to this. I will give you a C for this however if you take it home and re-do it, I can consider regrading your work” Professor Min said as he wrote down your grade on his clipboard and smiled “I’ll see you next Friday Miss Y/N” he said as he walked back to his desk. 
You just stood there trying to process what the fuck he just told you. It needed more detail, more work? You were sure you added everything you needed that was in your head. ‘I can’t believe this, Jungkook painted himself and got an A, what did I do wrong?’ you thought. “Miss Y/N are you alright?” Professor Min spoke up as he saw you still standing at your station. You snapped out of it and nodded over at him “Y-yeah I was just thinking of something else sorry, have a nice day!” you said as you grabbed your bag and your painting before rushing out the classroom. ‘I hope you choke on your fucking coffee Professor Min’ you thought as soon as you exited.
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It was Friday again and throughout the week you worked on revising your painting as well as become close friends with Jungkook. “Did you get your painting done Y/N?” Jungkook asked as you sat down next to him. “Yeah, I was able to finish it hopefully he’s happy with this one even though I don’t understand what I did wrong in the first place,” you said sighing while taking your painting out and setting it next to your desk. “I thought it was fine even though it was simple, I think he’s just messing with you” Jungkook laughed. “If he’s messing with me I will chop his dick off for real,” you said frustrated.“ “I see I hope you don’t plan on doing that to me too” Jungkook laughed again. “As long as you don’t piss me off too much Kook then you’ll be fine” you smiled.
In the midst of talking, Professor Min walked in “Good Afternoon class, I hope you all have your homework ready to hand in. It will be the first thing we talk about in class today”. He said as he walked up to the chalkboard to write the word ‘blue’ on it. Shit shit shit, you forgot to do your homework because you were so focused on trying to redo your painting. Seeing you in distress, Jungkook handed you a sheet of paper and winked at you. You saw a post-it note on it and it said ‘I know you were trying to get your painting done all week so I did your homework for you!’. You smiled at the note before turning to Jungkook to give him a finger heart.
“So today before we start class we will go over the homework. Before I do that please pass them up so I know none of you are going to try adding in answers.” Professor Min said as we all started to hand our homework up. “This week’s homework was to give off your own meaning of the color blue, what does it mean to you and why did you think of that when you see or think of the color blue? Compared to many other colors, blue seems to be misinterpreted the most so I wanted to see what you all thought about it before we go more into observing colors” Professor Min said as he looked over the class before his eyes landed on you. “Miss Y/N what does the color blue mean to you,” he asked.
Trying to remember what you saw in your homework that Jungkook did you tried to answer. “When I see the color blue I think about the feeling of loneliness, it’s a color that for some reason emits sadness. Whenever I am alone and have no one, the color that first comes into mind to describe my feeling is blue,” you said as you exhaled feeling like you were holding your breath because you could still feel Professor Min’s intense gaze on you. He stared at you before responding “That’s an answer I expected, I am sure many of us had similar answers. The color blue definitely has a sort of tie to sadness however blue can have other meanings too, for example, it can symbolize healing.” Professor Min said. 
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“Since we have about an hour left, I’d like for you all to go to your stations, and paint a fruit that represents you, the fruit must contain one of the colors we talked about today. Expect that all your paintings in class to represent yourself, because painting expresses the feeling of the artist themselves.” Professor Min said as he smiled.
“This is going to be a piece of cake,” Jungkook said as he turned to his canvas. “Do you think he’s going to correct me on this painting too?” you asked Jungkook while getting your palette out. He shook his head “Nah, come on Y/N this is fucking fruit we’re talking about there’s no way he won’t give you an A”. You honestly hope Jungkook was speaking the truth.
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The class was almost over and the fruit you ended up painting was strawberries. You thought it came out pretty cute. As you turned to Jungkook’s painting you tilted your head “Weren’t we supposed to paint only one fruit, why did you paint a whole fruits basket?” you asked. Jungkook shrugged “I didn’t know what fruit to paint, I feel like I am someone with many traits that can’t be linked to just one fruit, so hopefully Professor Min likes it.” he said.
Professor Min started to walk around the classroom in order so that meant you would be last in the classroom again. He reached Jungkook “Wow Jungkook it seems as you thought outside of the box, tell me what your painting means,” Professor Min said happily. Jungkook chuckled before responding “Well I feel like my life can’t be represented through one fruit, I like to think highly of myself so painting every fruit I could think of expresses that I am happy and that having all these traits is not a problem as long as I feel content with it” Jungkook explained.
Professor Min nodded “You impressed me yet again Jungkook, that’s an A” he smiled as he moved onto your station. Jungkook gave you a huge smile and a thumbs up before leaving the classroom. “Before you show me your fruit painting I want to see your revised painting of your roses Y/N,” Professor Min said. You handed him the painting of your roses. “I added a scenery behind the roses, as you can see I added an ocean behind them. You don’t see flowers growing near the ocean, I put them there because reaching the feeling of love is rare for me and it usually wouldn’t go too far so the roses would die even if they land in the sand or water.” You spoke hoping Professor Min can give you an A.
Professor Min sighed “I think you’re thinking to deep into your feelings Y/N, the painting is beautiful actually however I’m sure love will be successful to you one day. I will up your grade for this painting to an A” he said as he moved onto your fruit painting. “Thank you! For my fruit painting, I decided to paint strawberries, they represent happiness because whenever I go eat them I’m always reminded of the pretty things in life.” You stated happily. “I think that’s a nice way to go about it Y/N however I think your strawberries need a little more detailing maybe add a prop like how jungkook added his fruits into a basket. I’ll give this a C, feel free to re-do it, and turn it in next Friday.” Professor Min said as he turned away without letting you speak.
What the fuck a C again? You didn’t understand but you didn’t care. If Professor Min wanted you to fix it then you will because you simply just wanted to graduate.
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As each week passed by you became more and more frustrated. No matter what you did with all your paintings Professor Min always gives you a C just to regrade to an A once you redid them. “I’m literally going to fucking kill him if he gives me a C one more damn time” you rolled your eyes as you started to eat your pizza. 
“I think he’s hitting on you Y/N” Jungkook simply said as he sipped his banana milk. With that, you started to choke on your food “W-what?” you were sure that was not it, definitely, Professor Min hates you. “I don’t know it’s just weird that he keeps doing that and that he leaves you for last when it comes to grading. Plus you’re a senior right? Professor Min is only 27 there’s not too big of an age gap between the two of you.” he shrugged as he bit his pizza. “There’s no way in fucking hell he’s hitting on me, plus isn’t that illegal for a professor to do that?!” you questioned
“Not really as long as you both give consent to each other and keep it low it’s fine, plus you’re graduating so I don’t think he sees an issue.” Jungkook said as you hit him in the head with your phone “Well I promise you that’s not it, let’s not talk about this anymore kook” Jungkook grabbed his head chuckling while you just wanted to shut the conversation off because you honestly didn’t know how to feel if Professor Min actually liked you.
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“Alright, so I will be walking around the classroom to look at the different birds each of you painted. This is the last assignment before I give you your final project next week, so I hope many of you improved with this assignment if it’s not good you may have trouble with the final as I will not be offering any regrading on it.” Professor Min firmly stated.
Time passed as he went to each student before reaching Jungkook. “What do we have here Jungkook?” Professor Min asked. “I painted a bluebird Professor Min, I thought it was perfect to paint as it symbolizes the arrival of spring but with the semester ending, I feel like I have put my all into all my works so the bluebird also symbolizes hard work!” Jungkook smiled while answering. “Nicely done Jungkook, you never fail to amaze me with your work. Your grade for this assignment is an A. I actually want to speak with you in my office tomorrow, even though you’re a freshman I feel like I wouldn’t mind having you as a mentor in my courses for next term.” Professor Min said as he smiled widely at Jungkook. ‘Thank you so much, I would love to help mentor students!” Jungkook smiled even his eyes fucking smiled. 
Professor Min walked over to you pulling out your grading sheet. Jungkook packed all of his things happily as he made a big heart with his hands before leaving the classroom. He has a habit of cheering you on with a cute gesture before Professor Min grades you.
“Seems like you have a similar color palette as Jungkook, what bird did you paint,” he asked looking at you. “I painted a Blue Jay Professor Min they have a meaning of being fearless. The reason why I painted it wasn’t because of the meaning but because of the color blue. I was reminded back to the popular meaning of the color blue, sadness. Even though the Blue Jay is fearless it makes me think if it sometimes feels lonely while pulling that Fearless front. I always try to stay strong for myself and pull through but there’s a point where I feel stuck but I don’t want to speak about it. We all experience fear in our lives whether that be alone or with someone else.” You exhaled as you said all of that. ‘Gosh talking for that long while having Professor Min’s stare is having too much of an effect on you’. 
“Wow Y/N the meaning you put to your painting is amazing, I love the connection” he squinted at the painted before continuing. “I think you should add something into the painting that shows what the Blue Jay may have a fear of. Other than that your grade is a C. You can come into my office after Jungkook tomorrow if you want to speak more into redoing this pro-” you cut him off as at this point you already had enough.
“Why a C, I don’t understand Professor Min please make me understand why you give me a fucking C every single time just for you to give me an A after I fix minor mistakes! This isn’t right and I want a true explanation why,” you yelled as you tried to slow down with your breathing.
“Y/N please lower your tone when speaking to me” he calmly said. “No! Just tell me why! I fix everything for you just for you to do the same shit all over again” you said already feeling tears coming up “Just why, please” you begged
“Y/N….your paintings always came out beautiful even without the regrading. I was interested in you on the first day of class when I noticed you were a bit older than all the other students, you stood out to me because this also isn’t your major of focus. You stood out in so many ways and I guess I wanted to get close to you. However, as my status as a professor, I can’t just do it so easily so my way of doing it was trying to keep you in the classroom and in contact with me as long as possible. I wanted to see you more Y/N because I like you.” Professor Min said as he looked into your eyes trying to at least find something.
“P-professor Min…” you stuttered surprised by his confession. “Please call me Yoongi Y/N, class is over” he stated as he got closer to you. “I don’t know what to say...Yoongi” you said moving your gaze to the floor, you couldn’t believe he was doing all this because he liked you, Jungkook was right. Yoongi grabbed your chin lightly as he lifted it before he placed his lips on yours. You kissed back slowly as Yoongi placed his hand behind your head to deepen it.
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You could feel yourself starting to get hot as things got intense with the kiss and somehow you’re at Yoongi’s desk sitting on his lap. “Fuck Y/N you’re so beautiful did you know that I’ve been thinking about you like this for a while now,” he said in between the kiss as he could feel you trying to rut on his bulge. He chuckled “I bet your so wet right now Y/N look at you rutting against my cock that’s not even out for you yet.” You whined as you just wanted some pleasure, it’s been a while since you hooked up with anyone. “Yoongi please I just want your cock,” you said trying to rub your clothed core on his lap for stimulation. “Yeah? Want my cock right here huh when anyone can walk in and see my cock stuffed in your pussy?” Yoongi kissed your neck as you moaned. His words were so dirty which turned you on even more. “Yes yes Y-yoongi I need it!” you cried out.
“I need your pants off  Y/N,” he said as he helped you take off your pants leaving you in just your underwear. You couldn’t believe you were doing this in a classroom with your own Professor. You helped Yoongi take his pants off and then you were left staring at his boxers. “Y/N take my cock out and suck” he demanded as he stared at you. You could tell he was already eye-fucking you. You put your hand into the opening of his boxers and pulled out his cock. 
Fuck. He. Was. Huge 
You didn’t waste time given the circumstances you’re in, you started to suck his cock. You couldn’t fit all of him it was too much however Yoongi grabbed the back of your head forcing his cock to go all the way in your mouth making you tear up. “Fuck Y/N that’s it take this cock, I think I’ll come soon” Yoongi growled as he guided your head down his cock. While you were sucking, Yoongi took out his phone to capture the sight of you. He never painted nude paintings because he wanted to wait for someone he loved to do so. Just by looking at you, he wanted to make you into art for only him to see. 
You could feel Yoongi’s grip on your head tighten signaling that he was close to cumming. “Y/N where do you want me to cum sweetheart,” he asked looking down at you his hair sticking to his skin. You pointed to your mouth as you couldn’t form words obviously. “Your mouth is so good for me Y/N taking this cock so well” he grunted before he shot his cum into your mouth slowing down the pace of his hand on your head.
You swallowed every drop before lifting yourself onto his lap and leaning in to kiss him again. “Y/N I want my cock inside you,” he said as he grabbed your ass and positioned you over the tip of his cock before slamming inside you. “Yoongi! Fuck ugh!” you moaned out loud before Yoongi placed his hand on your mouth. “Baby you have to be quiet unless you want to let the whole school know your mine” he whispered in your ear. You moaned loudly into his hands, you couldn’t help it because Yoongi didn’t even let you adjust to his cock.
“Your pussy is so tight Y/N I might cum sooner then I thought” he moaned as he flips you over. Your face was now against his desk as Yoongi was fucking you from behind. “C-cum inside me Y-yoongi!” you cried out without thinking. Yoongi started to thrust harder and deeper “Shit okay Y/N, Do you like that? Having your professors cock inside your sweet little pussy to make you nice and full?” he growled as he started to slam his cock in and out your pussy. “Yes yes yes! I like that Y-yoongi! I-I’m going to cum fuck!” You suddenly saw white spots as your orgasm hit, you could feel Yoongi’s pace fastening as he started to spurt his cum into you.
Oh, fuck what have I done.
Yoongi pulled out slowly catching his breath before putting on his pants. “Y/N? Are you okay sweetheart?” he asked as he grabbed some tissues to clean you up. Without taking a glance at him you started to quickly put on your clothes. “Y/N?” he called out worried that you weren’t responding. “We can’t do this Yo- Professor Min it’s inappropriate and was a mistake I need to go,” you said as you teared up. You quickly grabbed your things ignoring Professor Min’s calling out.
You dialed Jungkook’s number hoping he would pick up. “Hey Y/N finished with talking with Professor Min?” he answered as you sniffled. “Y/N? Are you okay? Do you need me to take you back to your dorm?” he asked. “Please hurry Kook, I c-can’t do this” you pleaded. Jungkook comforted you through the phone as he went over to pick you up.
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“So you had sex with Professor Min?” Jungkook blinked repeatedly as he was trying to take in the whole story. You nodded wiping your tears “It was wrong but it felt so good and it’s bothering me kook, I don’t know what to tell him.” Jungkook handed you a tissue “Y/N there’s obviously feelings between the both of you the only thing stopping you are each other statuses. The fact that Yoongi didn’t kick you out of the classroom and offered to clean you shows that he isn’t one of those people. I’m sure he’s hurt too Y/N. The best advice I can give is for both of you to give each other space until you’re ready to confirm your feelings back. If you realize the relationship is no good then let him know.” he stated as he gave you a hug. “Thank you, Kook. I’m surprised you don’t have a girlfriend when you’re so nice” you tried to smile as you were in Jungkook’s arm. 
“I do have a crush on someone but I don’t think she likes me back” he sighed. “At least try but don’t fuck up like me” you chuckled. Jungkook nodded the problem was that you didn’t know that you were his crush. Jungkook was in love with you but he knew that it was never going to happen.
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It was suddenly Friday again which means you had to see Yoongi. You were nervous you had no contact with him since you two had sex. You walked into the classroom seeing Jungkook give you a warm smile. Jungkook pointed in front of you so you looked over just to see Professor Min was early however he looked less like his happy self.
“Alright, so today’s class will be short because I will assign you all your final projects. For this project, you must make a collage of a color with multiple shades that speak words. You have 2 weeks to complete this project class dismissed.” Professor Min said as he gathered his things and left the classroom.
“Woah that was quick, Professor Min always uses his full class time no matter what,” Jungkook said as he sighed. “I think it’s because of me Kook, fuck what have I done. I really fucked everything up I’m sure instead of a C he’s going to give me an F.” You felt like crying, to be honest. “Hey, it’s okay. Want to come over my place to destress? We can watch Disney movies?” Jungkook smiled as he wanted to make you happy. You nodded “That would be great Kook” you smiled.
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You and Jungkook were currently on the 5th Disney movie for the night. “Why can’t my love life be like a Disney movie, I feel like my story with Yoongi is like one of those tragedies before they get remade into a Disney Movie” you sighed reaching for some strawberries. Jungkook’s grip tightened on his cup of juice, he hated how you only spoke about Yoongi since the incident occurred. “Y/N if you keep thinking about Professor Min you’ll only stress yourself out more, give it a rest for just a bit, and maybe talk with him when finals are done?” he suggested. 
“The problem is that he’s all I ever think about Jungkook, I really thought I could forget about him even while watching these movies but it’s worse now.” you sighed. Jungkook looked at you for a moment before suggesting something that made you confused. “Then let me help you forget,” he said as he looked into your eyes. “Jungkook?” you were confused by what he meant, as you laid your eyes on him his lips were against yours. Unlike the kiss with Yoongi, you weren’t responding back. “Please Y/N…..just for today...let me do this,” he asked as his eyes looked into yours searching for permission to continue. Jungkook was younger than you by a few years but you trust him and know he means no harm and that he just wants to help. You nodded as you kissed Jungkook back.
In just about 5 minutes both yours and Jungkook’s clothes were discarded on the floor. “Fuck Y/N is this what you let Professor Min see? He doesn’t deserve to see your beautiful body.” Jungkook said as he placed his mouth over your nipple. You moaned out “J-Jungkook!” as Jungkook started to suck on your breasts “Did Professor Min worship your breasts like this? I bet he hasn’t huh” he chuckled as he gave you small bites over your chest. Your hands reached to Jungkooks bottom half as you tried to grab his cock. He wasn’t as big as Yoongi but definitely Jungkook’s cock was thicker making your pussy clench around nothing. “Eager aren’t you Y/N? Just want my cock in your tight pussy right?” Jungkook smirked.
“Please Jungkook no teasing I just want you inside” you whined as you could already feel some of your arousal slipping out. Jungkook laid your body onto the couch. He left for a bit to grab something only to come back with a blindfold. “A b-blindfold?” you titled your head.
“I know you don’t love me Y/N, I’m only helping you take your mind off things so I thought having you wear the blindfold would help because I don’t want anything to change between us,” he said as he placed it over your eyes. “Thank you Kook, don’t worry I won’t forget about you and I feel bad for even letting this happen, I don’t want to lead you on,” you said sadly. “Y/N I wanted this too I promise you I’m okay with this,” he said softly.
Jungkook wasted no time as he hovered over you inching his cock slowly inside you. He groaned “Mm Y/N your so fucking wet just for me, look at how easily you’re taking this cock”. You moaned as you felt Jungkook stretching you out, you could only see darkness which caused you to clench on him. He hissed “Y/N please don’t clench like that baby I might cum within seconds.” he laughed. His laugh brought a smile to your face, you definitely felt comfort in Jungkook’s arm.
Jungkook spent his time thrusting into you repeatedly, you could feel yourself about to cum soon as your walls started to tighten around Jungkook’s cock. “K-kook I’m going to cum” you moaned as you gripped Jungkook’s back hard. “F-fuck okay I think I’m going to cum soon too Y/N, want me to cum inside you?” he asked heavily panting as he continued to thrust into you. “Yes come inside me I know you want to Kook” Jungkook’s heart felt like it was going to explode he was doing this for you but he smiled as you cared about his feelings too. You knew that the both of you probably won’t ever do this again which is why you agreed. 
Jungkook changed positions as now you were sitting on his lap, He grabbed your waist making sure to help you with the pace. You wrapped your arms around him as you felt your orgasm hitting you “Jungkook ugh cum in me now” you whined as Jungkook thrust you through your orgasm and then cumming inside you.
You laid on top of Jungkook with his cock still inside you catching your breath. “You good Y/N? Let’s get you cleaned up, you can stay over if you want for the night I’ll sleep on the couch.” Jungkook offered as he slipped your blindfold off.  You nodded already feeling sleepy “Thank you kook, and I’m so so sorry. I really hope one day a person who deserves you a lot will love you” you teared up saying it because you didn’t want to hurt him he’s your friend who loves you and you weren’t sure if you liked him back.
Jungkook smiled as he slipped out of you “Y/N it’s okay I’m just happy that I could take your mind off things for a bit, if it all goes wrong just know I’ll welcome you with open arms” he said as he helped clean you up before handing you some extra clothes to put on.
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2 weeks passed like it was nothing and soon enough it was Friday the day finals were due. “What color did you base your collage painting on kook?” you asked him. “Oh I based it on the color purple, apparently it signifies having creativity and I definitely think I represent that” he laughed. “You really love yourself, huh, but that’s a good thing so I can’t really make fun of you for it” you chuckled.
“What about yours Y/N?” with his question you paused before speaking “Well um it’s based around the color pink. I can’t go much into detail but basically this is my confession painting to Professor Min” you said blushing a bit, nervous to speak to Professor Min after weeks have passed. “Ah is that why you didn’t attach an explanation note to your painting,” he asked and you nodded. “Good luck Y/N, I hope everything works out and let me know if you guys get some,” he said wiggling his brows. You laughed and playfully pushed him.
Professor Min walked in and stood in front of the class. “Alright everyone today is your last class with me today. Don’t worry we aren’t going to be doing anything today. All you have to do is bring your canvas up to the front of the room and make sure your explanation notes are attached to your paintings. I hope you all have a wonderful summer break” Professor Min smiled as students started to submit their paintings and then walk out the classroom.
Jungkook patted you lightly on the back and gave you a thumbs up before leaving the classroom. You smiled and started to pack up your things slowly as you waited for Professor Min to notice that you didn’t attach a note to your painting.
“Miss Y/N please come to my desk, the rest of you drop your paintings here and go” he stated.
Here we go, you exhaled before walking over to his desk. “Yes Professor Min?” you asked fully knowing what he was going to tell you. “I don’t see an explanation note attached to your painting,” he said as he looked up at you for the first time in weeks. “I didn’t write one,” you said plainly. “Well since you didn’t write one I am going to have to give you a-” before Professor Min could continue you cut him off “I love you Yoongi,” you said looking at him for a reaction.
“Y/N wha-” he said in a surprised tone. “My painting, it’s my response back to your confession Yoongi. I found love and it’s you” you told him as you started to blush. “Really?” he asked and you nodded.
“Fuck come here Y/N” Yoongi called and you obliged and sat on his lap to start kissing him. “Gosh so that means your mines now?” he asked as he started to undress you. “Y-yes I’m yours now Yoongi officially” you let Yoongi undress you as you stared at his eyes while he was doing so. Yoongi paused as he saw bite marks over your chest. “Y/N where did these marks come from” as you didn’t answer he inserted two fingers into your pussy thrusting them in. “Who did it Y/N tell me right now or I won’t give you my cock,” he said sternly as you cried out “Jungkook Jungkook did them!”
Yoongi chuckled “Where’s your phone Y/N” you pointed to your desk. Yoongi pulled out his fingers as he made his way over to your desk. “What’s the password,” he asked. “Bluemyg” he typed in the password as he started to look for Jungkook’s number in your contacts and pressed call when he found it. Jungkook immediately answered of course because it’s you.
“Did everything go well Y/N?” Jungkook asked. “Come to my class Jungkook right now,” Yoongi said as he hung up the phone turning it on silent. “Yoongi what are you doing?” you wanted to know why in the world did he call Jungkook over when you’re naked on his desk. Yoongi didn’t answer you back and slid his cock inside you “Fuck even after Jungkook fucked you he left you nice and tight for me” Yoongi chuckled.
Jungkook entered into the classroom to see Professor Min with his cock inside you. “H-huh,” Jungkook said as his eyes were blown wide. “Jungkook put your cock in her mouth,” Yoongi said not giving Jungkook an explanation. Jungkook just stood there trying to process what’s going on.
You moaned out “Jungkook just do it, it’s okay!”. With permission on your end, Jungkook unzips the front of his pants and pulls his cock out. He made his way over and placed his cock right above your mouth. “Y/N suck,” Yoongi demanded. You opened your mouth to take Jungkook in while looking up into his eyes.
“Isn’t she gorgeous Jungkook, taking two cocks at the same time with the door wide open for anyone to see,” Yoongi said as he continued to thrust into you. Jungkook nodded as he guided your head to suck his cock. You could barely think about anything when you had two cocks occupying your holes. You pulled away from Jungkook’s cock “I-I’m going to cum”. “Jungkook put your cock in her mouth again and cum when I say so okay?” Yoongi said as Jungkook agreed while thrusting his cock back into your mouth.
You started to clench harder around Yoongi’s cock as you whined while having Jungkook’s cock deep in your throat. “Cum” at that moment Jungkook and Yoongi started to pound into you and release their load. Your vision blacked out after your orgasm.
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“Is she okay?” Jungkook asked as Yoongi closed the classroom door and pulled down the shades. “She’ll be fine, I think she was overwhelmed by taking the both of us,” Yoongi responded as he went over to you to start cleaning you up with wipes. “I’m not sure if Y/N will be okay with it, we’ll have to get her opinion on it, but I don’t mind having you in the relationship as well Jungkook I know you love her too,” Yoongi suggested. Jungkook’s eyes widened “R-really? Prof- Yoongi are you sure” Jungkook asked not expecting this. Yoongi nodded “I’m super sure” he smiled.
You opened your eyes to look to the right to see both Yoongi and Jungkook talking. “Did I pass out?” you asked making your presence known. Both of them looked at you and nodded. “Y/N how about adding Jungkook into our relationship?” Yoongi asked immediately. Your gaze turned to Jungkook expecting your answer “I-I don’t mind….I know you thought I didn’t love you Jungkook but after that night my feelings started to develop for you.” you smiled “I love you both” you said as you walked up to the both of them and kiss them both on the lips. 
“Since we’re still sorta naked how about we make a body painting collage using all the colors we can” Jungkook suggested.
“I’m all in for it what about you Yoongi?” you asked looking at him. He laughed “Wow this is going to be a long day, let’s do it!”
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✈ Um hi! I hope you enjoyed my very first fic on tumblr. Please leave me feedback down below whether it’s good or bad. I will start working on getting a masterlist post soon! Feel free to ask me questions or make comments on ‘Ask Starrymin’.
✈ I will try my best to get the Mother’s day Barista!Namjoon x Single Mother!Reader fic done this week. My plan was to get it done today however colors took me much longer than I thought. So please wait a little more until I upload it!
✈ Anyways I hope you all have a wonderful day! Please stay safe and healthy. Also I’d like to wish Happy mother’s day to all the moms out there and even mother like figures too! 
→ Feel free to support me on Kofi
→ My BTS fic recs
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tsarisfanfiction · 4 years ago
Text
Night Out
Fandom: Thunderbirds Rating: Teen Genre: Family Characters: Gordon, Scott
#fluffember day 18 - ‘touch’ - and something a little different, mostly because @janetm74 decided to call me out about whacking ‘unsuspecting characters’ with a chair of ‘pain and suffering’ and @gumnut-logic mentioned literally hitting them with a chair...  I promise this is mostly fluff still!  That Teen rating (Teen for a fluff fic?  Tsari what are you doing?) is for language and alcohol, because we have two former military boys in a London pub.
Gordon learnt two things that night: Scott was an affectionate drunk, and sometimes people throw bar stools for no good reason.
Gordon couldn’t recall the last time he’d gone out with Scott – just Scott – for a reason that wasn’t mission related.  He’d hit the town with Alan (not that alcohol was allowed on those occasions, what with the kid being underage and all that) a few times, and Virgil on more than a few post-mission de-stressors, but Scott was always too busy for frivolous things like having fun.
No more.  It had taken some convincing, a lot of wheedling, and the strong-arm combination of Grandma and Virgil, but a blissful forty-eight hours’ downtime was being spent in England, just because they could.  The gracious offer of being chauffeured around by Parker – made by her Ladyship, to the man’s apparent disgruntlement – just made the choice all the easier.  And what better way to unwind than a nice, rowdy night in the pub?
Karaoke, free-flowing alcohol, and Scott’s communicator firmly confiscated in the Creighton-Ward manor to ensure he didn’t slip back into work habits meant that he was having the time of his life, and Scott seemed to be enjoying himself, too. At least, if the gaggle of girls he’d acquired, flirting with him and being flirted with in kind, was anything to go by, his big brother was definitely enjoying himself for once.
Unwilling to spend the entire night as the wingman, and definitely not interested in finding out if Scott managed to go further than just exchanging some smooth words, Gordon had found himself over by the pool table.  He’d spent enough time in pubs – even if he’d been underage for most of it and Scott (probably) didn’t know that – to be able to find entertainment with a group of strangers, so separating from his brother wasn’t much of an issue.
He was good at pool, too.  Good enough to quickly work his way through the ranks until he was the champion everyone else paid to play, and all in all he was having a really good time of it. The drinks were good, the company was fantastic, and best of all, he was having a blast.  Maybe later he’d drag Scott away from the girls for a game – show the Londoners exactly how good the Tracys were (and hope Scott was inebriated enough not to beat him, because Scott played a mean game sober).
At least, that was the plan.  The world liked to mess with plans.
It started with raised voices.  Nothing unusual in a pub, especially now it was entering late evening and the alcohol had been flowing for a while.  Gordon thought nothing of it, and continued to roast his latest challenger at pool, beaming when the black ball found the pocket.  Well-meant congratulations passed between the two of them – they had manners, after all – and Gordon cast around for his next opponent.
Then the tingle ran up his spine, and immediately on its heels came a tap on his shoulder.
“Hey, bro,” the guy – Dennis, Gordon had trounced him two games earlier to much laughter and another pint – started.  “Didn’t you come in with that guy?”
There was only one that guy he’d come in with, and combined with his squid sense kicking in, Gordon had a sinking feeling as he turned to look at where he’d left Scott.
Just in time to see a bar stool smash into his head.
Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was just Gordon’s default reaction to seeing someone smash a bar stool over his brother’s head, but his vision went red.  The pool cue dropped, but he paid no attention to where it landed, already surging forwards towards where his brother had crumpled to the floor.
Someone was laughing, someone else was screaming, but Gordon had eyes for only two things: his unmoving brother, and the guy still holding the bar stool aloft.
“Hey!” he roared, elbowing gawkers out of the way and slamming into the guy hard enough to make him loose his grip on the stool.  It fell to the floor with a crash, thankfully missing Scott, followed by the man himself. Gordon kept his feet, feeling the buzz of alcohol mixing with adrenaline, and placed himself firmly between the aggressor and his brother.
Everyone else backed off; in his periphery Gordon could tell that the three of them – him, Scott and the stool-wielding asshole – were loosely ringed in by the other patrons of the pub, all looking on with varying emotions ranging from astonishment, fear, and bloodlust.
“You with ‘im?” Stool-Bastard spat, pulling himself to his feet with a glower that was supposed to be intimidating.  Gordon hadn’t served in WASP to be cowed by a drunkard in a London pub.
“You attack him for a reason?” he shot back, hearing shuffling noises from directly behind him. Good, that sounded like Scott was conscious.  The pleasant fuzz of alcohol was gone, leaving him as sharply aware as it was possible to be after however many drinks he’d had, and he tallied everything up as the guy snarled, swaying on the spot but not attacking.  Not yet.
Tabs were all paid up; no need to worry about any unpaid drinks.  No sign of the bouncers, but that could change any moment and a barfight was not high on Gordon’s list of reasons to get arrested (yes, he had one. No, his brothers didn’t know about it). The nearest exit was… there, by the group of girls Scott had been with.
If Scott was conscious, as he suspected, it wouldn’t take much to get out of there.  He just needed to not be attacked the moment he turned his back.
“’E was ‘itting on my girl,” the man snarled.  Gordon had many things to say to that, including the fact that Scott – even drunk – had morals and that if the guy didn’t trust his girlfriend around other guys then maybe he should be looking for problems a little closer to home.  He said none of them.
He didn’t have to. The girls surged forward, arguing the point for him – good for them, and did he need to take note of their names to hand over to Lady P? – and he took the chance to crouch down and assess Scott’s condition.
His brother had managed to drag himself up onto his elbows, one hand holding his head, and there was a scowl on his face.  Blue eyes were dilated and a little unfocused, although how much of that was the alcohol as opposed to the knock, Gordon wasn’t entirely certain.
“You good to stand up?” he asked, gently touching where Scott was holding his head.  The dazed blue eyes blinked at him for a second, and his brother grimaced but tried to move.  Gordon caught him when he swayed, wedging himself under one arm and dragging Scott’s arm around his neck for support, wrapping a firm arm of his own around his brother’s waist.
Dennis from pool came over, clearly offering help, but Gordon waved him off with a smile that was probably more strained than he’d planned.
“I got him,” he said. “If you want to help, make sure that bastard doesn’t get another hit in.”  He didn’t want trouble – this was supposed to be a relaxing downtime, dammit all – he just wanted to get Scott somewhere safe so he could check him over properly.  Luckily, the man got the message and moved to stand so that he was blocking Stool-Bastard’s view of them, leaving Gordon to haul his brother out the door.
No-one else stopped him, and with a few stumbles – Scott was heavy, okay? – he got them over to a nearby bench, which Scott sank onto bonelessly.  Gordon shot a quick message to Parker to come get them – fun night out was over – before turning his attention to Scott.
“You with me?” he asked, keeping an arm around his shoulders and peering at the shock of brown hair resting on his shoulder.  “Scott?”
“M’fcker,” his brother slurred, sounding vaguely annoyed.  He didn’t move, though, seemingly content to remain slumped against Gordon’s side and trust him to hold him up.  It was just un-Scott-like enough for him to be a little worried, but he had also been drinking and he wasn’t entirely sure how much Scott had had. Nor had he actually ever seen Scott drunk before – at least, not without the buffer of Virgil and/or John to handle him. He vaguely recalled something about him being an affectionate drunk, though, so with any luck that was all that was.
Still, he ran his free hand through gelled hair, gently probing for signs of injury.  Scott hissed when he reached the back of his head, where he’d seen the blow land, and Gordon explored the area lightly with his fingers.  It didn’t seem like it was a bad knock – certainly not as bad as it could have been, and he was starting to realise it had actually only been a glancing blow rather than the square hit he’d initially thought – but it could definitely do with some ice and painkillers, and he was pretty certain there was a minor concussion in there, too.
No amount of alcohol explained Scott’s suddenly quiet and slightly lethargic attitude, when Gordon knew he’d been laughing and flirting right before the attack.  Virgil was going to be so pleased.
“Hey,” he tried again, poking his cheek when he didn’t get an instant response.  “Talk to me, Scott.  What happened back there?”
Scott groaned at him and buried his face further into his neck in an additional show of drunk and concussed.  “D’nno,” he muttered.  Gordon felt more than heard the words.  “M’fcker came’p ‘hind me ‘nd yelled sommat ‘bouta girl.  D’nno what.  Then th’bast’d hit me.”
A very small part of Gordon was amused at the filterless language.  He knew Scott knew how to cuss – he’d Served, the same as he had – but Big Brother also had a very strong grip on his language around family. To hear what was no doubt a throwback to the Air Force days was quietly satisfying.  However, most of Gordon was a combination of furious and worried, in approximately equal measures.  Maybe a little more worried than furious, but there was a large part of him that really wanted to show the guy why you never messed with a Tracy.
Fortunately for his PR, Scott needed him here, not embroiled in a fight or spending the night in a lockup, so he swallowed down the rage and pulled his brother a little bit closer.
“Anything hurt except your head?” he asked, brushing his fingers through his hair again.  Scott shook his head then groaned.
“’m fine,” he claimed, still not lifting his head from where it was buried in Gordon’s neck.  “St’p fussin’.”
“I’ll stop fussing once we’re back at the manor and your head’s been looked at properly,” Gordon countered, to another groan.  “How much did you drink?”
“Was’nly weak sh’t,” Scott told him.  “Few p’ntsa cid’r.”  Enough to get buzzed but not enough to get blindly drunk, then.
A breeze blew past them, reminding Gordon that London was in England and therefore cold.  Scott shivered just a bit – not enough to be noticed if he wasn’t plastered against Gordon’s side – and he tightened his grip again.  Neither of them were dressed for the night air, not with the original plan being for them to remain inside the pub until Parker arrived, and the thin jacket Gordon did have on wouldn’t fit his brother, even if he could peel him off long enough to shuck it.
“Not the best end to an evening,” he mused instead, rubbing at the denim jacket Scott had on in a vain attempt to give him a little more warmth.
“C’n say thattag’n,” Scott agreed, burrowing into his side even more.  Gordon assumed he was trying to leech body heat.  “S’posed t’be fun.”
“Well we’ve got all of tomorrow to lounge around the manor,” Gordon reminded him, spying a flash of pink approaching at speed.  “You know that’ll be fun.”
“W’th this h’ngov’r?” Scott complained.  Gordon winced – he had a point.
“It’ll be fine,” he promised, letting go of his brother with one hand to flag Parker down. “Water and painkillers and you’ll be good as new.”  Depending on the severity of the concussion, that might be stretching it a bit. Scott was definitely going to be off duty for more than another day, though.
FAB1 pulled to a stop next to them and Parker jumped out, eyes sharp and alert as he took in their condition.
“Trouble, sirs?”
“Someone took a swing at Scott with a bar stool,” Gordon admitted, prodding his brother.  Parker’s eyes narrowed and he suspected Stool-Bastard might find his own brand of trouble later, once Parker was convinced they were safe.  The man seemed to have a soft spot for Scott – hell knew he didn’t have one for Gordon, despite his best efforts to the contrary.  “C’mon, Scott.  Let’s get you in the car.”  His brother groaned but at least made a token effort to stand up, freeing Gordon long enough for him to get to his own feet and haul Scott up.  Parker slid around to Scott’s other side without waiting to be asked, and between them they helped him stagger into the back seat, where he promptly slumped again.  Gordon slid in beside him and was immediately reclaimed as a pillow, which he resisted long enough to make sure they were both strapped in before allowing Scott to bury his head in his neck again.
“’Ow ‘is ‘e?” Parker asked as he slipped back into the driver’s seat and pulled away from the curb. Gordon caught sight of him looking at them in the rear view mirror and offered a tight grin.
“Minor concussion,” he answered, running his hand through Scott’s hair again, to a quiet noise that could have been either complaint or contentment.  “He also drunk enough to get buzzed, so I’m not entirely sure how much of this-” he shrugged at the big brother draped against him “-is that.”
“Hmm.”  Parker sounded unconvinced, but did at least return his attention to the road.
Gordon glanced down at his brother and poked him lightly.
“You’d better not be falling asleep on me, Scott,” he warned.
“’M n’t,” came the muffled response.  “W’k m’up wh’n we g’t therr.”
“Scott, no,” Gordon scolded, shrugging his shoulder and forcibly peeling his brother off of him. “You’re concussed.  Don’t sleep.”
The baleful glare he got was pretty pathetic, on the Scott scale, but his brother huffed in defeat.
“F’n,” he grumbled. Gordon caught his head when he attempted to bury it in his neck – again – and guided it to rest normally on his shoulder.
“We’ll have a proper look at the manor,” he promised.  “Then you can rest.”
Scott huffed, but didn’t close his eyes again.  He did, however, wrap an arm around Gordon in a tight grip, which he returned in kind.
“Are you always this cuddly when you’re drunk?” he asked.  The grumble he got wasn’t a coherent answer, but the way Scott purposefully looked away was.  Gordon laughed.  “That explains why you don’t go out drinking with us much.  Do any of the others know this?”
“Shuddup,” Scott grumped. It was a shame he was also concussed, otherwise the blackmail would have been glorious.
Aw, who was he kidding. As soon as Scott came out the other side clear, it was totally acceptable blackmail.  For now, though, he was content to hold onto his brother while Parker drove them back to the manor, more than a little relieved it hadn’t been worse.
So much for a relaxing night out with his brother.
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homebody-nobody · 4 years ago
Note
43, 53 for jiara❤️
hi hello i finally wrote it and also wOW this one got long
Rating: M (implied?? maybe?? if ya like) Word count: 1411
43) take off your shirt, 53) pick up lines only work when I’m drunk
JJ takes a drag off his beer and drops his head against the tree he’s been leaning on for the past half an hour. The kegger was fun, until Jeremy Gabriels showed up and Kie realized that her eighth-grade crush had been sending her eyes all night. All she had to do was stand and head for the dance circle, and he’d sidled up with his hand on the small of her back. Kie normally threatened to remove body parts of the men who touched her without her permission, but she’d turned, and smiled, and looped her arms around Jeremy’s neck. That was about the moment JJ decided he was done for the night. 
Now, he’s standing in the shadows, watching Kie dance with stupid fucking Jeremy, and the jealousy in his chest is a familiar ache. He’d asked her out, once. A million years ago, when they were still just kids. Did it right, with flowers and anything. She’d taken them, thanked him for being such a good friend, and in so doing, politely locked the door that led to them being anything other than best friends. Still, after all these years, he burns for her. It’s stupid and childish and so fucking helpless, but the reason he’s never gotten involved with anyone else, all the same. There have been hookups, sure. Flings with tourons and rebellious kook girls, but nothing, nothing, like the way he feels about Kiara. 
He doesn’t plan on doing anything about it until he watches Kiara stumble as Jeremy leads her away from the dance circle and toward the trees. Kie doesn’t drink too much. She knows her limits, and is always sure that she maintains control. So when she leans back toward the fire and Jeremy tugs on her arm instead of letting her go, JJ’s moving. 
“No, no listen,” Kie insists, and the slur in her words is difficult to hear. He doesn’t know if Jeremy’s slipped her something or if she’s gone a little too hard to try and impress him. Either way, the grip Jeremy has on her arm clouds the edges of his vision. “I can’t -- I’m not supposed to go off by myself,” she says. “I’s the rules.” The rules. Big John made them up, back when Kiara joined their ragtag little gang, roundabout the sixth grade. No pogue on pogue macking. That was one of the rules then, too. 
“It’ll be fine,” Jeremy says, and the grin on his face makes JJ feel physically sick. He’s close enough now, and he taps Jeremy on the shoulder. The guy turns, but doesn’t have any time to react before JJ’s fist is crashing across his face. 
Jeremy drops like a fucking stone, the wimp. 
“Ha!” Kie shouts, almost losing her balance as she leans over to spit the word in Jeremy’s face. Her feet  jog up and down in the sand as she does a stupid little dance. “Asshole!!” 
JJ catches her shoulder and pulls her upright. “You okay?” he asks. 
She jerks out of his grip. “I had it handled,” she grumps, sticking her lower lip out. JJ can’t help but laugh. 
“Sure you did,” he allows. 
“Nothin’ woulda --” she burps, and sways, and her brown eyes are glazed over and starry. “Nothin’ woulda happened.” 
“I know, Kie,” he says, and reaches out again, his hand hovering just over her arm, there to catch her if she needs it. 
“I’m a badass!” she insists, and goes to punch him in the shoulder. Her fists lands, but she overbalances and nearly falls into his chest. He catches her by both arms and stands her up straight. 
“Yeah, you are,” he says kindly. He’s not usually the more sober of the two of them, and is suddenly grateful for all the nights she’s spent taking care of him. “You wanna go back to the party?” he asks. She closes her eyes and rocks back on her heels, and he has to brace his weight to catch her. “Oh, no no no!” he mutters, and when she rebalances, she actually does faceplant against his shoulder. 
“Thanks for hittin’ ‘im, tho,” she mumbles, her face smushed against his body. “Tha’ was priddy cool of you.” Awkwardly, he pats her back with one hand, the other arm around her waist, holding her up. His stomach flips with her heat and proximity. He’s touchy with all his friends, but not Kie. He can’t handle it, knowing what it might feel like if things had gone differently all those years ago. 
“You’re welcome,” he says, and she giggles in a very un-Kie-like manner. “Fuck,” he mutters, “how much did you drink?” She leans away from him, but he keeps an arm around her, just to make sure she doesn’t fall over -- or get close to falling over -- again. 
Grinding the heels of her palms into her eyes, Kiara screws up her face like a little kid. “Last one was probably a mistake,” she admits. “Shouldn -- shouldna done that.”
“So,” he starts, and she hums, and nuzzles her face into his neck, and he bites his lip, closes his eyes, and begs the universe for patience. “Um --” 
“I’m cold,” she whines, and brings her arms up around his waist, tucking herself against him. 
“Fuck, shit, goddamnit --” he mutters under his breath, Kie giggles again. “Okay,” he says. “Okay.” 
He manages to get her back up the beach to the Twinkie, and she collapses in the back like a ragdoll. Handing her a bottle of water, he tells her to drink all of it, and then straps himself into the driver’s seat. He has to keep glancing over his shoulder as he drives back to the Chateau to make sure she doesn’t pass out or anything. She just keeps looking at him with a stupid, dopey smile, and, at one point, gives him a stupid two-finger salute. 
Getting her up the steps and through both doors is a challenge, but eventually he gets her into the spare bedroom, and digs out a clean t-shirt and boxers from the duffel he’s been living out of. “Alright, Kie,” he says. “Pyjamas.”
She’s laying in the bed that has essentially become his over the past few months, her hair spread across the pillow, crop top ridden up to expose her tanned, toned stomach, the sharp crest of her hipbones. He swallows, his mouth suddenly dry at the sight of her spread out in the moonlight. She’s smiling, liquid and lazy, and the only thing he wants is to fall over her, take her body in his hands, and kiss her until they both dissolve into stars. 
“Lay down with me,” she says, reaching out with grabby hands. He chokes a little bit on his own spit, and just holds out the clothes a little farther. The slur in her voice is gone. She’d either sobered up in the van, or was acting more drunk at the beach than she really was. 
“Kie, just take the clothes,” he says, hating how cracked and broken his own voice sounds. Her arms drop to the comforter. 
“Buzzkill,” she mutters, and then, louder, “Make me.” Blood rushes into his face, and, despite his better judgment, he kneels on the bed. She sits up, a self-satisfied grin on her face, and JJ holds his breath, caught in a decision. She’s challenging him. Making this into a game. But he knows that door is locked. He’s tried it. She won’t do anything to shatter their friendship. She expects him to fall for the charade, to fall right into her trap, so she can embarrass him. He’ll play her game. But he’ll win. 
“Take off your shirt,” he says, his voice dropping, the gravelly tone giving him away. Her eyes darken, and her fingers lift to brush the hem of her shirt. His stomach lifts and flips, but falls when he smells the alcohol on her breath. She’s only doing this because she’s drunk. 
“C’mon, JJ” she says, her voice thick and low and sultry. His name in that tone, from her mouth -- it almost hurts to hear, knowing she doesn’t mean it. “Pick up lines only work on me when I’m drunk.” 
“I thought you were drunk,” JJ answers, the words falling out of his mouth. Then, he kicks himself. 
“Oh shit,” Kiara says, a grin taking over her face. Before he can say anything else, she’s pulling her shirt over her head. “I guess I am.” 
cross-posted on ao3
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antiadvil · 4 years ago
Text
Somebody to Love
summary: Dan and Phil’s first meeting in 2009, loosely inspired by the song Somebody to Love by Queen
rating: PG13
wc: ~3k
notes: for the @phandomreversebang! art provided by @anironsidh and betad by @awkwardest-sam. writing this fic was... a journey, and they were a really great and supportive team the whole time and I really appreciate them <3
read under the cut or on ao3
Dan’s train was running late, and he couldn’t stop his anxiety from running absolutely wild. He hadn’t missed it, had he? Maybe it had showed up early and left before he got there. Maybe it had showed up while he wasn’t paying attention and left already. Maybe it had-
The train pulled into the station. Dan relaxed his shoulders. He wasn’t going to miss his train. He managed to stay calm for a few minutes after he boarded until a sudden new thought hit him.
What if he missed his stop?
He groaned, letting his head drop into his arms. He couldn’t even get a ten minute break from his ridiculous thoughts.
He took a deep breath, trying to focus on something else. To try to distract himself, he pulled out his pen and notebook to work on a few video scripts.
He had finally gotten into a groove, allowing himself to forget his worries, when the train lurched as it approached its first stop, sending Dan’s pen and notebook spilling to the floor. He picked up the notebook, but his pen had already slid out of sight.
Great. Looks like he was going to have to find some other way of passing the remaining two and a half hours of his train ride.
He stared out the window, trying to calm his nerves, but his leg was bouncing up and down almost uncontrollably. He put his hand on his knee, forcing it down.
It was hard to believe that after months of nonstop texting and skyping, he was about to meet the boy from his computer screen in person. He still remembered the first time they had spoken, when he had finally gotten up the courage to message that cool youtuber on twitter.
He had sent him a message about a Queen song, and was shocked to receive a reply. He still was a little bit shocked every time Phil messaged him. Every time, he thought Phil would get tired of him. Every time, Phil kept coming back.
They had talked about their favorite band for hours that night. Then the conversation had shifted to themselves, their families, their hopes and dreams.
They still talked about music sometimes. It was a nice excuse to be in constant contact.
His fingers itched to text Phil, the way they always did when he was anxious, but he and Phil had been trying to stick to Skype lately. Last month’s phone bill had not been fun to pay. He shouldn’t text Phil until he arrived, to tell him where he was so they could meet.
His leg was bouncing again. He sighed in frustration, wishing he hadn’t lost his pen.
He bought a magazine to flip through. It was surprisingly entertaining. He managed to lose himself in it for nearly half an hour before he checked the time again.
Fuck the phone bill. Dan gave in and pulled out his phone. nervous (^_^;), he sent.
good, Phil sent back nearly instantly.
good?
im nervous too and im not allowed to be the only one
Dan laughed. His phone buzzed again
in a few hours we can be nervous 2gether
Dan couldn’t think of anything to send in response to that other than a smiley face.
now go away u spork remember ur phone bill
Dan let a smile break across his face. Phil did that to him frequently. fine, Dan sent quickly.
He returned to his magazine, calmer this time. It was silly to be so worried. It was just Phil. Phil, who he had known for months now. Phil, who he wanted to meet. Phil, who wanted to meet him.
Everything was going to be alright.
When his train arrived in the station, Dan climbed out, letting his eyes search for Phil. Quickly, they landed on a tall, pale boy with dark hair wearing a green plaid shirt. “Phil!” he shouted.
The boy brightened, looking to find the source of the noise. “Dan!”
“Phil,” Dan said again, running towards him, and the other boy was running too, and suddenly they were in each other’s arms, finally, after all these months of imagining.
Phil was holding Dan tighter than he’d ever been held, but it didn’t hurt. It was one of the nicest things Dan had ever felt.
After what felt like an eternity, Phil pulled back. “How was the train ride?”
“Good,” Dan said, his smile so wide he thought his face might split in two. “How was your bus ride?”
“Someone recognized me,” Phil pouted.
Dan laughed. “You’re a proper celebrity now.”
“I don’t want to be a proper celebrity,” Phil whined.
“You’d be a good celebrity.”
“How is someone a good celebrity?”
Dan shrugged. “You’re cute.”
Phil rolled his eyes. “Is that all?”
“Yes.” Dan giggled, though he hadn’t meant to. It was silly, he thought, a nineteen year old giggling over a boy.
Phil was smiling, too, though, and a bit of pink was showing through his pale skin on his cheeks, so he must not mind.
“Where to first?” Dan asked.
“Starbucks,” Phil said, bouncing up and down. “Starbucks, Dan, we have to-”
Dan laughed. “You’re such a sugar fiend.”
“C’mon!” Phil tugged at his hand.
Dan looked down at their hands in shock, surprised to find them tangled together.
“Sorry,” Phil said sheepishly, dropping Dan’s hand.
Dan wiped his hand on his jeans, then immediately cursed himself. He didn’t want Phil to think it was because of him, his hand was just sweaty. “No, you���re good- um.”
“Yeah. No. We’re in public, I should have-” Phil stuffed his hands into his pockets. “So, uh, Starbucks?”
“Starbucks,” Dan agreed, gesturing for Phil to lead the way.
“Right,” Phil said, heading down the street. Dan followed. “What are you planning to get?”
Dan shrugged. “Whatever you get. You’re the expert.”
“Well, I haven’t actually decided what I’m getting yet,” Phil explained.
“Oh really? What are the frontrunners?” Dan asked.
Phil spent the rest of their walk explaining his various drink options, each sugarier than the last. “So I think maybe the caramel macchiato. Maybe? I can’t decide.”
Dan interrupted before Phil could go through his list again from the beginning. “You should get the caramel macchiato.”
“You think so?”
“I think so,” Dan confirmed, opening the door to the starbucks.
Phil bought their coffees, over Dan’s protests. “You’re the one who came to visit me,” he said. “Let me do this for you.”
Dan gave in. “I’ll buy you coffee if you ever come to Reading.”
“Deal.” Phil took a long sip of his coffee and let out a long, relieved breath afterwards. “So good.”
“The caffeine or the sugar?”
“Yes,” Phil said.
Dan took a sip of his own drink. It was good. Maybe not as good as Phil thought it was, but good.
“I’m trying to cut back on coffee,” Phil said mournfully. “I only had three cups this morning.”
Dan snorted. “Only three?”
“Yes.” Phil stared glumly at his already half empty cup of coffee.
Dan shook his head in mock sympathy. “You poor thing.”
Phil finished his coffee with disturbing speed. Dan did his best to keep up, but to avoid burning his tongue, he had to finish about ten minutes after Phil.
Phil’s tongue must be nearly burned off from how quickly he had
Dan should stop thinking about Phil’s tongue.
“Where do you want to go now?” Phil asked, saving Dan’s mind from going to some places it really shouldn’t be going right now.
“Can we just walk around for a bit?” Dan asked.
“Sure!” Phil was bouncing on his toes, already ready to move.
Dan wondered if he was as thrumming with nervous energy as Dan was. “Lead the way, then.”
Phil knew his way through Manchester better than he let on, pointing out a few shops and landmarks he recognized along their walk. “There’s so much to do here. We’ll have to come back sometime.”
Dan absentmindedly agreed. It was nice, the thought that this would happen again. That he could come back. That Phil didn’t seem to hate him yet.
Dan almost missed the apple store when they walked past, but he saw it out of the corner of his eye and stopped. “Wait,” he said, “I want to post a selfie.”
“Ooh,” Phil said. “Good idea.” He opened the door and gestured for Dan to follow him.
They got lucky when they were immediately able to snag a free laptop. Phil opened photobooth and messed with his hair in the camera. Dan did his best to straighten out his hair, and struck a pose.
Phil put on a (ridiculous) facial expression and took a photo.
Dan stepped up to take a look. “Wait,” he said, stepping back. “My hair looks wrong. Can we retake it?”
Phil rolled his eyes, but stepped back into his pose to take a new picture.
About 20 pictures later, they had finally taken one Dan was satisfied with. He logged into his dailybooth account quickly, doing his best to ignore the line of people growing behind him.
“There,” he said, pressing post and logging out of his account.
He did his best not to make eye contact with anyone in the line behind them as they left the apple store.
They found a bench in a nearby park and spent the next few hours people watching, making up stories about the people they saw.
“She’s in an unhappy marriage,” Dan whispered. “She’s having an affair with him.” He pointed to the man across the playground from her, where her daughter was playing.
Phil took a bite of the sandwich he had bought from a nearby cafe. “Does her daughter know?”
“Of course not, Phil. She’s like, five.”
“Just hoping for maximum drama,” Phil said around another mouthful of sandwich.
Dan grimaced. “Stop chewing with your mouth open. It’s gross.”
Phil swallowed. “Your mum’s gross.”
Dan hit Phil on the back. “Take that back.”
“You first.”
“No.”
“Then I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.” Phil looked almost sad.
Dan snorted. “Let’s disagree to disagree.”
“How does that work?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t put much thought into it yet.”
Phil laughed, taking the last bite out of his sandwich and brushing a few crumbs out of his lap.
Dan checked the time. “Is there anything else you want to do before we go back to your place?”
“Well,” Phil said. “I, uh. Have a reservation for after dinner.”
“A reservation?” Dan looked down at his clothes. He hoped it wasn’t too nice.
“The sky bar,” Phil said. “I don’t know if you know it, I’m sorry, I-”
Phil looked so anxious. “No,” Dan said, doing his best to sound reassuring. “It’s fine, just… unexpected.”
Phil smiled in relief. “We should get going if we’re going to make it on time.”
When they got to the sky bar, Dan looked at the menu and tried not to panic at the prices.
“I’ll pay,” Phil said quietly. “Don’t worry about it.”
That only made things slightly better.
Phil must have noticed that the worry didn’t fall from his face, because he tried to reassure Dan again. “Really, it’s fine. Get whatever you want.”
Dan nodded, but he scanned the menu for the cheapest items and ordered those anyway. Phil had just graduated uni; he wasn’t exactly rolling in money, and Dan didn’t want to feel like any more of a burden on him than he already did.
It didn’t matter. His drink tasted incredible.
“Is it alright?” Phil asked, still anxious.
“It’s perfect,” Dan said. It was. The sun was beginning to set, and the view from this high up was beautiful. The view next to him was even prettier.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, staring out the windows and watching the sun bathe everything in a warm, golden glow.
Dan reached for Phil’s hand under the table. Phil reached back.
***
It was dark when they boarded the bus back to Rossendale. The bus was nearly empty, but they chose two seats in the back, as far away from everyone else as possible.
“Busses are weird.” Dan yawned.
Phil giggled. “It’s not even late. Are you tired?”
Dan glared. “Shut up.”
Phil stuck out his tongue. “Make me.”
Dan hoped his face wasn’t as red as it felt. “Shut up,” he managed to squeak out.
Phil sat back in his seat, smiling in satisfaction.
“Shut up,” Dan whined, poking him.
“You sound like a broken record. Do you say anything other than shut up?”
“Shut-” Dan stopped. “Yes,” he insisted.
Phil smirked. “Prove it.”
“I’ve said so many things other than shut up today.”
Phil shrugged. “If you say so.”
“I do.” Dan leaned back into his seat, trying to project confidence.
Phil shrugged again. “I believe you,” he said, with the air of someone who absolutely did not believe the person they were talking to.
Dan sighed, and changed the subject. “How long is the ride?”
“About half an hour, hopefully,” Phil said.
His train ride had been much longer than that. He could survive this. Especially with Phil with him.
“I met a boy on the train once, you know,” Phil said, startling Dan out of his thoughts.
Dan looked up, slightly confused. Why was Phil telling him about some other boy? “You did?”
“Yeah,” Phil laughed. “He was really cute, too. We spent the whole train ride talking, and it turned out he actually lived really close by. This was when I was in uni. But anyway, at the end, he asked me for my number, so I gave it to him, and then-” Phil paused to hide his face.
“Then what?” Dan asked, perplexed.
“I texted him,” Phil said, muffled.
“What’d you say?”
“I asked him if he was asking me out,” Phil said, still with his face hidden in his arms.
“Was he?” Dan asked, though he suspected the answer by now.
“No,” Phil whined, lifting his head up. “He wasn’t. He was straight.”
Dan couldn’t help a horrified giggle.
“It’s not funny,” Phil said, though a smile was starting to peek through his carefully composed sulk.
Dan wanted to stop laughing, he really did, but he just couldn’t. His giggle grew until it was the dumb hyena laugh he always felt self-conscious of, but with Phil sitting next to him, he didn’t mind.
Phil was starting to laugh a little bit too. He buried his head in Dan’s shoulder to hide it. “You’re the worst.” He landed a half-hearted punch on Dan’s ribs.
Dan just laughed harder. “That’s awful, oh my god.”
“So stop laughing!” Phil whined.
Dan finally managed to quiet his laugh. “It’s a good thing, though, really. Because now you have me instead of stupid bus boy.”
“You’re so much better than stupid bus boy,” Phil whispered, reaching for Dan’s hand to give it a quick, reassuring squeeze.
The warmth of his hands lingered even after they were gone.
***
Phil’s house was dark and quiet when they finally arrived. Dan didn’t know what else he had expected. Phil’s parents weren’t home; that was the whole reason he was visiting right now.
Dan declined politely when Phil asked if he wanted a full house tour, instead choosing to dump his backpack on Phil’s bedroom floor without asking first. He thought, halfway through doing it, that maybe he should have checked first, but Phil didn’t seem to mind, so he just left it.
Phil’s bedroom looked different than it did on Skype. Less grainy.
Phil dropped himself onto his bed, gesturing for Dan to follow him. “Wanna play some music?”
“Sure,” Dan said, sitting down next to Phil. “Queen, probably, it’s the least we can do to thank them for bringing us together.”
Phil laughed. “Not because they’re good?”
“No. Just because gay.”
“Freddie Mercury would be proud,” Phil said.
“He probably would be,” Dan admitted.
“What song?”
Dan thought about it a bit, chewing at the inside of his lip. “Somebody To Love,” he finally said.
Phil grinned. “Excellent choice.”
“Thank you,” Dan said, basking in the glow of Phil’s approval as the piano started playing. “I can play this on piano, you know.”
“You can?”
“Yeah. I can play most Queen songs.”
Phil tilted his head. “You’ll have to show me sometime.”
“But you don’t have a keyboard.”
Phil tilted his head. “Guess I’ll have to visit you sometime.”
Dan couldn’t help the nervous thrill that ran through his stomach. “A shame, really. You have no other option.”
“I’ll survive.”
Dan hummed along to the chorus.
Phil poked him. “Just humming? Coward.”
Dan startled. “What?”
“I want to hear you sing.” Phil’s eyes were twinkling with the slightest bit of mischief.
“No. Absolutely not.” Dan crossed his arms.
“Fine,” Phil said. “I guess I’m going to have to sing myself.”
“That’s almost worse,” Dan said.
Phil pouted. “I’m a great singer.”
“I’m sure.”
Phil began to sing along, his voice warbling.
“Shush,” Dan said. “I want to hear Freddie Mercury.”
Phil sighed, but switched to dramatically lip syncing instead.
“Much better,” Dan said, trying to control his facial expression so Phil couldn’t tell that he was being a little bit cute right now.
Phil’s performance was so over the top it was honestly funny, until he reached the end of the song. He sang along, softly this time, looking directly at Dan in a way that gave him goosebumps.
Dan couldn’t help but look away.
“How was my performance?” Phil asked.
“It was alright,” Dan said, leaning back on his elbows.
“Oh yeah?”
Dan sat back up. “Not too relatable, though.”
“Why not?”
“I’ve already found somebody to love,” Dan said, smiling at Phil.
“Really,” Phil said, teasing. “Who?”
Dan felt his cheeks warm. “You probably don’t know him. He goes to a different school,” he managed.
Phil laughed. “I like you too.”
Dan didn’t think it was even possible for his cheeks to be any warmer. “I guess you’re kind of cool too.”
“Shut up,” Phil said, pulling Dan closer.
“Make me,” Dan said.
“Okay,” Phil said, promptly kissing him.
Dan shut up for quite a while after that.
15 notes · View notes
horansqueen · 4 years ago
Text
You & Me : chapter 45
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A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS
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CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44
NOTES:
-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.
READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE
- notes: please take note that this is mostly a filler chapter, just like chapter 46 and 47 will be. I have everything planned for 48, 49 and 50 tho. and then the story will be over :( if you want anything added to the filler chapters, please message me. tbh i would love you so so much lol! so yea, im super stressed about ending this story, i cant even explain. ALSO: time will pass quicker in the last few chapters so check the dates!
if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)
requests! : the 2 requests added will be posted at the bottom of this post to avoid spoilers!!!
TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE
Chapter 45 : His chapter
NIALL
August 16th, 2018
I didn't know exactly what woke me up but I just turned around in bed, wrapping my arm around Liv's body and moving a bit closer before trying to fall back asleep. Unfortunately, my phone started vibrating on my bedside table and I groaned when I realized I forgot to put it on mute before falling asleep. I couldn't remember how long how making love session had lasted and I couldn't even remember when I actually fell asleep.
I grimaced and sighed before turning around and reaching out for my phone, searching for it with my eyes closed. My fingers finally gripped it and I decided to sit up, rubbing my eyes as I tried to read the message I had received. I noticed Louis' face next to the message and I frowned. It's not that Louis never texted me but I was still surprised to see that notification, especially so early in the morning.
'Had fun last night? 😏' was all he had sent me along with a link.
I turned to look at Olivia who was still deeply asleep, laying on her stomach, with the covers just over her butt and I finally got out of bed slowly and gently, making sure I wouldn't wake her up. I walked to the kitchen, letting out a yawn as I passed my hand in my messy hair, and decided to make coffee as I clicked on the link.
I frowned when I recognize my living room and I saw myself get up from the couch, suddenly realizing it was my instagram live from the night before. i frowned more, wondering why Louis would send me the link since I couldn't remember saying or doing anything remotely bad but when Olivia's legs appeared in the screen, I realized my mistake. I had probably not stopped the live properly and my heart jumped in my chest, trying to remember what exactly we had said and done right after.
I heard my girlfriend tell me I was a good person and groaned low again when I heard myself ask her if it turned her on. No one could see us kiss since the laptop was placed on the coffee table and we were standing up but even if I was whispering, the words "I'm gonna miss you so much." could easily be heard before she replied that she was going to miss me more.
"Fucking hell..." I whispered as I blinked a few times, staring at the screen where we could clearly see me leading Liv in the hall as she stepped back, our lips attached to each other's as we made out.
She hit the wall and we both laughed as I let out a 'clumsy ass!' the way I always did before an 'I love you' escaped my lips. I felt my heart jump in my chest knowing so many people had actually witnessed something so personal and I swallowed before sighed and passing my hand in my hair again. We disappeared from the screen as the sound of a door being closed could be heard and I realized the video lasted 4 more minutes where nothing could be heard or seen. It had probably been about an hour since I started the livestream which was why it finally cut and I put my phone away and closed my eyes, wondering what exactly would be the repercussion of this video. I didn't want to go on twitter to read what people were saying but I knew that I would at least have to tell Liv about it.
I poured myself a cup of coffee and my lips curled slightly when I heard my girlfriend yelled from the bedroom.
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"
"Okay, she already knows." I whispered to myself, taking a sip from my hot drink and leaning against the counter.
It took her only a few seconds but I saw her appear in front of me, her hair even messier than mine and wearing only my shirt. I wanted to be stressed by all this but when I saw her, my lips curled in a fond smile.
"Did Louis send it to you too?" was the first thing that got out of her mouth and I just nodded before turning around and grabbing a mug to pour her some coffee too. "That's it? That's all I get? A nod?"
I took the time to add sugar and cream in her coffee and finally turned around again to hand it to her. She stared at me for a few seconds before her eyes fell on the mug and she sighed, taking it from my hands.
"Is there anything else to say?" I just asked, shrugging a shoulder. "I mean it's on the internet probably forever and honestly, we've been lucky, especially thinking about all the times we actually just fucked on the couch I mean, this video could be so much worse."
She looked away and her eyebrows raised before she grimaced. "Yea, I guess that's some way to see it." she let out before taking a sip. "I just... Gosh I don't know, I feel violated."
"I'm sorry. Honestly, I feel like shit too. It's my mistake and it's a very bad one." I admitted, raising my nose up. "I'm sorry, petal."
Her eyes met mine and she took a step closer, tilting her chin up to keep her gaze locked with mine. I stared at her back as she blinked a few times and her thin lips curled into a fond smile.
"You're forgiven."
I let my eyes roamed on her face, knowing it was a big thing to be so easily forgiven for something like that, especially that we were both aware she would get a lot of hate because of it. I bent down slightly and let my lips brush against hers before closing my eyes and bringing my hands up to her cheeks to deepen the kiss. When we stopped, she kept hers lips pressed against mine and sighed low.
"I'm gonna turn off my notifications on twitter for a while."
I raised my nose up in a grimace and groaned. "Me too." I kissed her lips again. "We can just ignore the comments together. I promise we'll be fine."
"I know." she whispered, her lips brushing against mine. "I trust you."
I felt something stir in my heart at her words, knowing I had lost her trust last year and I had worked hard to get it back. Still, despite my efforts, she didn't have to give it back to me again, but she had, and I couldn't explain how much it meant to me.
"Thank you, pet."
                                                       ---
August 17th, 2018
I woke up around 10am, knowing I should have been up before. I had a concert on the same night and even if it was barely a two hours ride, we had to get there early to rehearse and make sure everything was in place. I was surprised to realize my girlfriend was not in bed anymore as I reached my arm on the mattress, my hand only meeting the cold sheets of the bed.
Quickly, I opened my eyes, blinking a few times, and stretched before getting up and dressing up. I walked to the kitchen only to see Liv and her lips curled when she saw me. I frowned, still surprised that she was already up, and took the mug she was handing me. I liked this habit that we had to prepare coffee if we were the first one to wake up. We had never talked about it but we just did it naturally and it was one of the many small things that made this whole relationship stronger.
"You're up early." I just pointed out before taking a sip.
"Will you miss me?" she asked quickly, ignoring my comment and making me frown.
"You know I will, petal, why are you asking?" I chuckled, taking a step closer and raising my eyebrows.
The truth was, I didn't want to leave without her but at the same time, I didn't want to force her to come with me. I knew following me on tour was not as fun as it may sound and I also knew she was busy. Of course, the fact that she was done with the season of her show gave her more free time, but the Olivia I discovered after being away from her for over a year was more independent than the Olivia I broke the heart to. She had also been right the last time we had a discussion about being away from each other. She had said it would bring us even closer and stronger together, and it had. We had spent a lot of time texting, facetiming and talking on the phone and I couldn't hide that I had missed her like crazy, but when we finally got to see each other again, it was intense. Besides, nothing would ever stop me from seeing her if at some point, it became too hard to be apart.
"How bad are you going to miss me?" she asked, once again ignoring my question.
"Pet, if I could, I'd put you in my bags and bring you with me."
This answer seemed to satisfy her as her lips curled more and she licked them before putting her mug away. I took a sip in mine but quickly, she grabbed it too and put it next to hers before taking my hand and pulling me with her.
"Are you bringing me in bed for a good fuck or something?"
This time, she laughed and the sound of it made me smile. She brought me to the hall and my lips parted when I saw her luggage in the lobby, laying near the door. I turned to her after a few seconds and she raised her eyebrows.
"If you don't want me to come with you, I'll definitely understand." she just said, shaking her head. "But I've had enough to be away from you. I miss you too much. What do you say?"
I felt my heart jump in my chest and let out a low chuckle before bending down slightly and wrapping my arms right under her butt to lift her up. She let out a short scream and a laugh, making my smile grow.
"Fuck yes!"
"Niall! Put me down! You're gonna hurt yourself!"
I did as she asked and as soon as she was back on her feet, I pushed her against the wall and looked down at her with a smile. She looked up and licked her lips before nibbling on her bottom one, her eyes never leaving mine and a smile still spread on her face.
"I didn't want to force you into coming with me, but fuck, I wanted to ask you to follow me again." I whispered, bending down slightly to brush my nose against hers. "Thank you for coming with me. It makes me so happy, darling."
"I was not sure if you still wanted me to come. I don't want to be annoying, or dependent. I just want to be with you."
My happy smile turned into a fond one. I didn't want her to ever believe she bothered or annoyed me. I was not the kid I used to be when I broke up with her, I didn't see things the same way, and I had learned.
"I always want to be with you. Your presence is a gift for me, I want you to always remember that, okay?" I murmured, feeling my lips brush against hers as I talked. "Don't ever try to be someone else. I love you best when you're just yourself."
She chuckled. "Did you just quote your own song?"
I sent her a smirk and shrugged, my body still pressed on hers. "It's my words, I can use them whenever I want. Besides, I wrote it for you, so."
"Okay but, can I really show you my heart? You promise you won't break it again?"
I rubbed my nose gently and slowly against hers again, making her eyelids flutter slightly.
"I swear." I breathed. "You're everything I want."
                                                   ---
September 12th, 2018
When I walked back in the hotel room after the show, my lips curled when I noticed Liv coming out of the bathroom, her body wrapped in a fluffy white towel. She looked surprised for half a second and finally sent me a smile while tilting her head. I took a few steps closer and placed my hands on her hips but she quickly took a step back and shook her head.
"Nooo, nop!" she let out, making me raise her eyebrows. "You're all sweaty and shit. Take a shower first!"
"I thought seeing me all sweaty made you horny." I argued, my lips curling into a smirk.
"Watching you all wet turns me on too." she admitted, pressing her lips together. "Go shower and I promise to stay naked, deal?"
This time, I smirked even more and waggling my eyebrows, making her laugh. "Can I get a glimpse?" I asked, pulling gently on the top of the towel and letting my gaze drop in her cleavage.
"No!" she argued, slapping my hand slightly and chuckling. "Hurry!"
I groaned and rushed to the bathroom, getting quickly undressed and starting the shower. I let out a sigh as I tilted my chin, feeling the warm water fall in my face and wet my hair. The past months had been exhausting, mentally and physically, but I could actually say that I was in the exact place I wanted to be. I didn't feel this hole inside my chest anymore. Somehow, it was filled with something that I desperately needed without really realizing it. It was not only the love we had for each other that mattered, it was also the friendship, the history, the trust, the hope and the need we felt toward the other... all of this filled everything that needed to be filled. She was my home, and I was hers. I had never felt like that for anyone else in my life.
I quickly got out of the shower and dried my body and hair before wrapping the towel around my waist. When I walked back in the room, my lips parted slightly and I stopped dead in my track. She was laying in bed, on her stomach, her headphones on as she seemed to read something (a book or a magazine, perhaps?), still completely naked. I stared for a few seconds at the back of her head before my eyes moved down to her ass. I didn't know if she did that just to turn me on but it definitely worked. I took the towel off and let it fall next to me before grabbing my cock in my hand and stroking it gently.
She started humming a song low and I was so focused on her naked form that it took me half a minute to realize it was one of mine. It made the left corner of my lips raise up and I let my free hand run down to my balls as I got harder.
Being able to have sex with her every time I came back to the hotel room was one of the perks of having her on tour, along with many others, of course. I normally prefer to be alone but when it came to Olivia, everything seemed different. I didn't feel stuck in this relationship, or smothered by it. I still wanted us to be private and couldn't wait until people would stop mentioning that video or us after my livestream but at the same time, It didn't bother me the way it would have before. After all, I was dating her, and for the very first time in my life, I wanted it to last forever. Just that thought seemed crazy to me and my heart skipped a beat.
I took a step closer to her and without thinking, I straddled her quickly and stared down as I pushed my cock inside her. She tensed and I felt her walls press around the tip of my cock, making me groan.
"Don't move, baby." I whispered before realizing she probably couldn't hear me.
I kept looking down as I slowly pushed myself more inside her until I was balls deep and moaned low. She felt amazing, as she always did, and my whole body started throbbing. I leaned closer to her, holding myself with my hands near her shoulders, and moved my hips back before thrusting in her again.
"F-Fuck."
The way she whimpered made me smile and with one hand, I took her headphones off and it fell off the bed, making a soft sound as it hit the carpet. I bent down slightly and brushed my lips on her ear.
"I don't think what you're reading is as interesting as what I'm doing to you, is it, petal?"
I watched her eyes flutter closed and her lips part before laying on top of her and slipping one  of my arms around her. My hand reached for her neck and I pressed my fingers on her throat as I tried to hold myself with the elbow of my other arm, making sure I didn't crush her or hurt her.
"Is it?" I asked again, a little louder this time.
"Mm, nothing is better than what you're doing to me." she admitted in a whisper, making me smile more.
"How much do you like my cock inside your pretty little cunt, pet?"
She moved her ass up to feel me deeper and I breathed through my teeth at the amazing sensation, remaining motionless for a few seconds. She started wiggling a bit and my grip tightened around her neck.
"So.. so much." she whimpered again, gripping the sheets of the bed with both hands.
"You're so fucking impatient." I whispered with a chuckle, letting go of her throat and sitting back on her legs. "Didn't think I'd find you laying on the bed naked like that, just waiting for me. You have no idea how hard that made me."
I stared down at my cock moving slowly in and out of her as I moved and enjoyed the moans coming out of her mouth every single time I was completely inside her.
"Fuck, Niall, please."
I looked up and grabbed her hair, pulling on it a bit as she let out a louder whimper.
"Fuck, you're so wet." I whispered, gripping her hair tighter. "I want to cum inside you, petal."
I watched her move a bit, her body twisting as she slipped one of her arms under her body to reach for her clit. She rubbed the tip of her fingers on my balls, making me groan, and finally started touching herself, making her ass grind up. I started fucking her harder and faster, in motion with her ass moving up and it only took a minute or two until she started shaking beneath me. The sight was amazing and I groaned as I came too, pushing her hard despite myself in the mattress.
"Jesus Christ." I whispered before going limp on top of her.
I heard her chuckle and my lips curled too as I brushed them on her shoulder. She shivered and I smiled even more when goosebumps appeared on her now damp skin.
"I love having sex with you." she admitted, making me laugh lightly.
"Oh darling, I love having sex with you, too."
I trailed kisses on her neck and shoulder and after a while, I moved next to her, laying on my back and staring at the ceiling. We were on the wrong side of the bed and I felt my heels lean against one of the pillows.
"And I love spending time with you. I love being close to you. I love that you followed me here. I love that you're still my best friend after all this time. I love that we get along so well, that we grew up together, that we're even closer than we used to be." I confessed slowly in a soft tone. "I love that you love me. I love that I love you. I love the team we make. I love you, Olivia."
I turned my head her way and she was staring at her. She seemed on the verge on tears but I knew they were happy tears and I sent her a fond smile before moving on my side to see her better. I brought one of my hands to her cheek and pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear.
"The truth is, I can't wait to marry you, to start a family with you, to grow old with you."
Her eyes roamed on my face and she swallowed hard. We both remained silent for a while and she pressed her lips together. It was so endearing that I smiled more and let my fingertips run on her shoulder and down her sides, until her waist.
"You..." she started, stopping herself again for a few seconds before her eyes met mine. "The first time we dated, it was everything that scared you about our couple. That's why you broke up with me, remember?"
I held my head with my hand, my arm on the mattress, and she moved closer, licking her lips and waiting for my answer. Of course I remembered, how could I not?
"I know." I replied, nodding lightly. "I was a fuckin' idiot. I mean, I still am." I shrugged with a chuckle. "But I'm an idiot who will never make that mistake again. I don't want to be with anyone else. And I don't want to be away from you."
"For someone who supposedly suck at expressing his feelings, you're doing quite well." she pointed out with a big smile.
I laughed too and shrugged again. "I've been thinking about what I was going to say for days." I admitted, glancing away before looking back at her. "I almost wrote a song instead."
"You could have," she whispered, reaching for my hand and squeezing my fingers. "I love hearing you sing."
I smiled again and pulled her closer to me to feel her body against mine. I lied down on my back again and she cuddled my side quickly. We stayed quiet for a while and every time she'd tilt her chin up to kiss mine, it would make me smile. It made me realize I had everything I needed, everything I wanted... I had everything I didn't even know I needed, and didn't even know I wanted.
"Do you still want to elope?" I asked randomly after a while.
"It's still a dream of mine, yea." she replied in a gentle tone. "But I know you'd prefer a normal wedding with our families and friends. I'm okay with that."
"I'm sure we can make a compromise."
She moved her head up to look in my eyes and frowned a bit. "This is... hypothetical, right?"
I let my eyes roam again on her face and something stirred inside me. I had no idea it was possible to love someone so bad. I didn't know it was possible to love someone so much you that you'd be ready to change your life plans for them. But here I was, staring at the only woman I ever fell in love with, knowing that I'd do anything for her, and that I would never stop loving her.
"Of course, we're just talking." I lied, my lips curling more. "So we'd elope and get married in Vegas, and then make a big party with our friends and family. And then what?"
"Honeymoon? If we're not too busy..."
"We'll make time." I replied firmly. "Bali or Bora Bora?"
She laughed and turned to lay on her back, my arm still behind her neck, and she finally shook her head. "I don't care where we go, Niall. As long as I'm with you."
the requests
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Yayy! Despite trying to fight off a monster of a cold, I’ve got a new chapter written! :D
As I mentioned yesterday, this one is written from Logan’s POV because I’ve been wanting to create a back story for him in this story :) 
I’ll post the chapter under a line on here, but please check it out on Ao3 too! I love reading comments and stuff to find out what people think :)
Hope you like it!
Taglist: @psychedelicships  @edupunkn00b  @jwillowwolf @kacklingisanart @look-ma-im-on-tv @stardustlv @lost-in-thought-20
Chapter 5. My Heart Was Made Of Stone. And You Broke It Twice.
“But the wind has changed. My walls are weakening. They’re gonna fall soon. And I’m gonna need you.”
Logan was a man who always kept his emotions in check. He never let himself get too consumed by any kind of feeling. Happiness, sadness, love, hate, anger… Ever since he was sixteen, he refused to be vulnerable ever again. If you’re vulnerable, you can be broken. He had been broken far too many times when he was growing up.
His parents were agreeable, he couldn’t deny that… but he was never enough for them. Even as a young child, nothing was quite good enough. He remembered when the class teacher told his parents that he was the first child to learn how to write his name… he stretched up to show them and they let the paper flutter to the floor saying it wasn’t neat enough. He was only four! It got worse as he got older. Every time he was proud of something he had achieved, like getting a high grade, he was always asked why it wasn’t full marks. The unattainable goals were never reached and it took a lot to even vaguely satisfy them. He worked himself into the ground for the entirety of his school life, it affected his health, but they still weren’t happy. He was never strong enough, creative enough, serious enough, smart enough… and it hurt so much to know that. His friends however were amazing, they would always encourage him and make him take breaks when they knew he was working way too hard. They could always cheer him up and he was eternally grateful for that. Logan clenched his fists… he hated how much it knocked him down when he would walk in smiling over something that happened at school, to be told they weren’t interested and to just go and study. He always set himself up for the fall almost every day… no wonder emotions became such a hinderance. Luckily, music was his salvation for about eight years.
Logan took his head out of his hands, readjusted his eyes to the light and felt how raw they were from crying before staring at the dusty piano in the house intently. He used to be pretty good at playing. He loved his classical music, and still does. Just not playing it anymore. When he still had lessons, he was always thrilled with the challenge of increasingly difficult pieces given to him by his teacher. It was funny, his music teacher was the only person who ever truly believed in him. He was also the one person who could convince Logan to perform. The last concert he ever played in was the day before his sixteenth birthday, he played his most difficult piece to date… Chopin’s Fantasie Impromptu Op 66. They decided on that because it was originally a piece that no one was ever supposed to hear, Chopin never wanted it to be released after he died… but they did it anyway. His teacher said that he could then perform it however he wanted to, artistic interpretation and all that. He practiced and practiced at school so his parents wouldn’t hear it before. When it got to the concert, and his parents actually turned up, he was genuinely surprised. He walked out on the stage and sat down looking for his teacher who gave him a smile and a thumbs up, then the music began. He felt almost like he was watching himself play, he had never played with such determination before and as the final note rung out… there was silence. Before the room broke out into applause, his teacher was standing up clapping vigorously, then some of his classmates and other parents stood up too. His parents however were sat down, clapping politely with a neutral expression on their faces and Logan’s smile faltered. He gave a quick bow and walked quickly off the stage. His teacher followed him and gave him a hug while telling him how proud he was. Logan couldn’t stop the tears, he had never cried in front of another person, but no one had ever been proud of him before either. How embarrassing. The first time he had been shown positive interest by someone he respected, and he cried until the top of their shirt was damp with his tears. His teacher just held him and told him everything was okay. After he had calmed down and the tears had stopped, he went to go and join his parents for the second half of the concert, but their seats were empty.
In that moment, he didn’t get upset again and stayed unusually calm, and he knew that this was the final straw. He stayed at a hotel for the night at the insistence of his teacher, that way he could sort out his head and start looking up different apartment options. Which he did realise could be tricky as a sixteen-year-old… but he was smart, reliable, didn’t drink or smoke and had a substantial amount of money at his disposal. He waited until the morning and snuck back into his parent’s house to collect all of the things that he deemed necessary. Thankfully, the hotel manager was understanding and let him stay for the bare minimum price until he could find an apartment for himself. It took a few months, and the landlord had to be persuaded by his music teacher, but he found an apartment which was close to everything he needed and was affordable. One day, he would repay that teacher back for everything he had done for him.
He looked at the calendar, the picture of him and Virgil smiling and holding up their wedding ring hands was taunting him on the wall. He noticed the date. Wow, it had been ten years since he left without looking back, and he never heard a single word from them.
That was clearly for the best.
Ever since then, he never let emotions get the better of him ever again. However, as he looked around at the decimated living room, he had clearly broken and let all of those emotions consume him once again. Logan inspected the damage, as he traced the hole in the wall, the shattered photo frames and glass covering the floor, it caused his heart to fill up with regret. His heart was already full of pain, the regret was enough to make his heart quite literally tear in two. Virgil was the first person he felt like he could be vulnerable with again. When they first met, there was something about him, something that reminded him of himself. Maybe this guy was just as broken as he was, as he saw him hiding in the corner of the coffee shop trying to stay away from the world. He told Virgil this many times, but he had encased his heart in stone to keep it safe. As their relationship developed, as stupid as it sounds, he could feel the stone wall cracking and breaking off piece by piece, and he honestly didn’t mind in the slightest.
Now, he didn’t know what was going on with his heart. He was hurt, he was angry. It’s not every day you find out that the man you’ve been married to for the last five years spent most of his life as a well-trained and dangerous assassin. Going by Virgil’s words alone, the body count to his name is staggering and who knows how many people he’s hurt over the years. The argument they had earlier in the evening was playing on repeat in his mind.
“I couldn’t tell you!” Virgil shouted across the room.
“Why the hell not?! I’m your fucking HUSBAND Virgil, you are supposed to trust me. No matter what’s happened in your past!” Logan rubbed his forehead in frustration.
“Okay, you want to know why I hid everything from you? I did it to PROTECT you! My past is something that can be used against me, it is still being used against me. If anyone from it came after you… I would never be able to forgive myself!” The tears wouldn’t stop rolling down Virgil’s face as he spluttered out the words while his body shook with sobs.
Despite the hurt of seeing Virgil in so much pain, Logan couldn’t contain his anger. “What makes you decide if I need protecting? I can handle myself, ever since I was sixteen I’ve been on my own… You know that!”
Virgil sighed, like he was debating whether or not to say his next sentence.
“Remember when we met all those years ago? You told me about how you were attacked and how scared you were after it? Well… it was me. I was the guy who saved you. Every day since that moment, I vowed that I would protect you no matter the cost. Then I fell in love with you along the way, and I’ll love you until the end of time. If you want to know the truth about me, I know he gave you something. Look at it, and I won’t blame you if you try to turn me in to the police afterwards. I have to go now though, otherwise you will get hurt… I’m sorry, Lo.” Logan was left dumbfounded, and Virgil ran out of the front door, slipping away into the night.
There had been so many lies and too many secrets. He remembered that USB stick he threw in a drawer months ago. He opened it up and stared at the blue object, the label that read ‘Virgil… ?’ taunted him mercilessly. He looked over at his open laptop that was spared from his destructive anger, should he look at it?
Logan shook that thought away instantly, he needed to clear up first before making any kind of decision. He crouched down on the floor and started to sweep the glass over towards the sofa with his hand, just so he could clean it properly soon. He got to the first photograph, him and Virgil sitting in a restaurant holding hands and smiling at the camera. That picture was taken by Thomas and Nico, their two closest friends… He thought he should text them and see if they could come over. Virgil left half an hour ago, and he already felt too alone.
He’d contact them later, but for now. He wanted to stare at photographs and revel in his memories.
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hiirunakaarchive · 5 years ago
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– to act in haste (2)
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↳ in an alternate universe where mc landed the fellowship, but not in the way she wanted. (pt 1), (pt 3), (pt 4)
◇ pairing: ethan ramsey x mc (haruna sakurai)
◇ genre: angst, like totally angst. through and through. not a single sentence of redeeming fluff here im so sorry
◇ song rec: comme au premier jour – andré gagnon
◇ word count: 3.2k+ 
◇ tags: @aworldoffandoms​, @perriewinklenerdie​ (thank u so much for waiting)
◇ author’s note: hi all! it’s been a minute! the release of OH2 finally inspired me to continue the piece that i posted last april so after a week of writing and rewriting im finally satisfied enough to post the second part! (this series is literally my baby please dont let it flop). i decided that this story will be split into three parts so i strongly suggest reading pt1 linked above if you want to make any sense of this second part LOL. pls keep in mind that i wrote part one before OH1 finished so it’s not totally faithful to the original story and has my own little spin of drama and flair so like always, feedback is always appreciated!! ill shut up now, ENJOY!
prologue
Dr. Sakurai was his epitome of a dream. Temporary, fleeting bliss that left just as soon as it came.
The two months following their confrontation were painfully, excruciatingly silent. She avoided him like the plague and the circumstances failed to change during the nine weeks he spent in the Amazon. He departed with the intent of banishing her and whatever feelings that still lingered from his heart and mind, yet one look at her was all it took for his resolve to crack.
He still loved her.
arrival
The first night marking Dr. Ramsey’s arrival back in Boston, the view of the bustling city from his airplane window evoked a flurry of fond memories. He had missed the city more than he cared to admit, yet, he had come to hate it just the same.
As the plane landed and rolled against the tarmac, Ethan stared vacantly at the distant lights of the city and let his thoughts wander.
Has she been taking care of herself?
Is she still angry with me?
Does she look any different from when I last saw her?
He let out a huff of frustration and accepted the bitter truth. Two months of cowardice and deliberately running from the thought of her did nothing to ease the sting of reality amidst his return to America.
Leaning back against the headrest, he muttered. “I need a drink.”
The next two hours passed in a blur. The doctor disembarked the aircraft in a hurry and retrieved his luggage from the carousel just as quick. Amongst that and hopping into the first cab he could hail, Ethan was unsure whether his haste was just in desperation to get home and rest or to quench his thirst for the god damn drink that airplane liquor couldn’t satisfy. 
He stumbled into his apartment and let Jenner out of the carrier, the pet becoming nothing but an obscure whiz of fur as he zipped out of the cage to celebrate the comfort and familiarity of their home.
The kitchen was still pristine, though not without a bit of dust. Looming over the marble counters and to the dining table across the room, Ethan found himself reminiscing over the last meal he had here.  
“The fellowship. Why did I win?”
“Did you think it would make me happy?”
“Is that it, Ethan? Do you pity me?”
“Christ.” He cursed to himself, ripping open the cupboards.
A single bottle of red wine greeted him, still three quarters full and untouched since the last disastrous dinner he had with Dr. Sakurai. It seemed to splash delightfully against its bottle as the man rolled his eyes and filled the glass to the brim. Inhaling the aroma and swirling the liquid with a delicate motion of his wrist, he took a sip.
This tastes like shit.
Ethan poured the wine down the sink along with the remaining contents of the bottle, bidding goodbye to the last physical remnant of that tear-ridden night two months ago.
He still needed a damn drink though.
The first step he took into Donahue’s was a hopeful one, and he cursed to himself in disappointment for knowing exactly what, or more specifically, who he was hoping to see.
He quickly scanned the booths and bar, failing in the search for that recognizable head of vibrant red and black. The only vibrance he was getting was from the familiar disco ball that loomed overhead, which made him squint in distaste. Taking a seat at the bar, a voice he could only recognize as Reggie’s called to him from behind the counter, his back to him.
“Welcome, I’ll be right with you.” He said, not bothering to turn around.
“I thought I told you to get rid of that god awful toy on the ceiling.”
Reggie’s head snapped up.
“Two months of disappearing off the face of the earth did nothing to fix that attitude of yours, Ramsey.” He smiled at his regular warmly before grabbing a bottle of scotch and pouring a glass.
Reggie slid it to him across the table.
“On me. Welcome back.”
Taking it gratefully, Ethan rose it to the bartender in a toast for his generosity.
“Thank you, Reg.” He said, stepping off the stool and making his way towards his favourite spot on the patio.
Midway through the exit, the doctor’s annoyance was already stirred by the booming voices and clinking of glass from an unknown group. They were counting down, and to what, exactly? He could not, for the life of him, be bothered.
And then he heard it.
“Midnight!”
Her voice.
“To kicking ass and running Edenbrook-“
Oh God, no.
“— as second-year residents!”
Ethan stopped fully in his tracks, and the eyes that solely wandered the deck in search of a free table landed on a picnic bench where five very familiar faces smiled and laughed.
Dr. Trinh, Dr. Greene, Dr. Lahela—
He exhaled in relief as he spotted Dr. Varma.
So they’ve gone back to being friends.
And smack in the middle, Dr. Sakurai.
Haruna Sakurai.
Fairy lights that illuminated the patio in protest to the evening were strung between poles and trees erected around the terrace. Yet amongst it all, Dr. Ramsey still found her to be shining the brightest. She still had that proper and dignified air about her, and the man was relieved to see that she had begun to smile again, albeit not as merrily as she used too. He could tell that in the several months they haven’t spoken to each other that she was no longer the same wide-eyed, inquisitive doctor she once was.
I solved the case!
I figured out a way to help some people who really deserve it. It’s a good feeling.
What it means to be a doctor? It means fighting the inevitable.
During Dr. Sakurai’s first year at Edenbrook, she had admitted to Dr. Ramsey that she regarded him as her reckoning. Perhaps that was what pushed her to try harder. 
“Yeah, you were definitely an asshole, but it was less you that I was scared of, and more ‘This asshole is my greatest inspiration and I can’t disappoint him’.” She rambled on their stroll back to the hospital from Derry Roasters.
He chuckled fondly as he continued to look straight ahead, the corners of his mouth curving up in a ghost of a smile.
“You could never disappoint me.”
She had learned and grown, and Dr. Ramsey was there to witness every budding moment of it. It was then that he realized that she was the one to be reckoned with.
A few tables from Edenbrook’s newest residents, he spotted the bar where he could enjoy his drink alone and in peace. He looked away from the joyous bunch and started towards the empty stools, but not without inevitably passing by the group first. Dr. Greene spotted him, his eyes lighting up in recognition and Ethan sighed in abandonment of any hope of getting to the other side of the beer garden unbothered.
“Speaking of the diagnostics team...” Elijah whispered audibly.
As the others in the group indulged in their gossip about Ethan’s heroic medical mission across the continent, Sakurai tensed visibly. He stopped in front of their table and for the first time in a very long time, she willed herself to look up and make her eyes meet his.
“Rookie...” Ethan greeted her coolly as he broke the silence.
Haruna’s jaw clenched and he questioned his audacity at still daring to call her by her nickname. Perhaps they were both thinking the same thing. How could they address each other– no, even look at each other, knowing that they were going to work together again? Above it all, how could Dr. Sakurai come to the hospital everyday; constantly, ceaselessly interacting with the living reminder that her position on the diagnostics team wasn’t even rightfully hers? 
They left things on a horrifically bitter and awkward note, and Haruna’s eyes darted between her friends across the table, begging to be bailed out.
Dr. Trinh shifted uncomfortably, Dr. Lahela took a flippant sip of his beer as he eyed Haruna protectively, and Dr. Varma glared at the attending with eyes ablaze. Dr. Greene seemed to be the only one unbothered by Ethan’s presence.
Haruna breathed in once before plastering on a fake smile.
“It’s good to have you back, Dr. Ramsey.” 
The fake sentiment wrenched at his chest, the gaze that once beamed at him with stars and everything bright now replaced with something hollow and resentful. He was careless enough to let the turmoil show on his face momentarily before collecting himself.
“Yeah... good to be back,” Was all he could muster.
Sensing the tension between himself and the five young doctors, Ethan nodded his head once before continuing to the main bar.
“Doctors. Enjoy your night.”
Sakurai’s eyes lingered on him as he walked away, and the holes he felt being burned into his back vanished once he took his very distant seat at the bar. Her friends continued on with their idle chitchat, and Ethan found himself listening intuitively. No amount of distance he placed between himself and that rambunctious group could keep him from overhearing bits and pieces of their conversation.
They cackled and toasted some more, and the strangers around them, be it alone or with company, indulged in their own private celebrations as well. Yet despite the boisterous nature of his surroundings, all he could hear was her.
“I’m a colossal pain in the ass! I don’t want to be responsible for another me!”
And he couldn’t help but laugh.
present
Since that fateful evening two weeks ago, Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Sakurai assumed their normal routine, save for the scowl she tried to hide every time she saw him. Despite the circumstances, he kept a close eye on her as she eased into her place on the diagnostics team, having succeeded in charming Baz with her amiable personality, and June as they made small talk in regards to their common cultural heritage. Sakurai remained quiet and unassuming during her first few days, but she had proven herself to be a quick learner.
“Female, thirty seven, Caucasian.” Ethan began as everyone took their seats.
He uncapped a black marker, scribbling across the board and throwing out answers before the other three had a chance to ask. This was their regular pace, which by now, Dr. Sakurai had grown accustomed to. She certainly looked less bewildered than she did her first day there. 
“Reason for admission was pain and numbness in the extremities. Former doctors thought it was...a stroke.” Ethan grimaced and Dr. Mirani snorted.
“What turned up in her bloodwork?” Dr. Hirata asked as she shook her head ruefully. “Did she have a urinalysis done?”
The three experienced doctors proceeded with their swift exchange of ideas, their discussion riddled with numerous ifs, buts, and whys. Dr. Sakurai listened intently and remained silent with her eyes glued to her notebook, almost so silent that Ethan almost questioned if she was even wholly present. 
“Negative for multiple sclerosis, but just before she was discharged presented with irritable bowel syndrome.” He continued.
“Could it be fibromyalgia then?” Dr. Sakurai finally suggested, looking up from paper ridden with chicken scratch notes scrawled in red pen.
Baz and June raised their eyebrows in delighted surprise. “Seconded,” and Ethan regarded his protege collectedly.
“I thought so as well. Excellent work, Dr. Sakurai.” To which she merely nodded in response.
Later that day, Ethan found himself strolling down the halls of Edenbrook in Dr. Baz Mirani’s company. He chatted endlessly, recalling the meeting from earlier that morning and shifted the topic of conversation to Dr. Sakurai. Ethan was never one to entertain idle gossip, but when it came to her, he couldn’t bring himself to not listen.
“Did you know that her red hair was a mistake?” Baz cackled.
“She told me that she accidentally booked her hair appointment two hours after her board and came in sleep deprived. Knocked out as she soon as she sat in that chair and woke up with Flaming Cheetos for a head!” The doctor brought a hand up to his chest to ease himself as he laughed. 
Ethan stayed silent as his colleague relayed her story. Of course he knew. He knew that she hated her red hair with every fibre of her being, but still complimented the stylist’s work and tipped her generously. He knew that as soon as she got home, she locked herself in her room and cried while trying to convince herself that her new look was symbolic of her “badass-ness.” He knew that she spent the next year using aloe vera in a desperate attempt to grow it out before applying for residency. How could he forget?
“You know, I wasn’t sure what to think of her at first, knowing the whole deal about how she got into the team and all.” Baz conceded and the guilt resurfaced, threatening to swallow Ethan whole.
“Baz, if you’re going to-”
“But she’s really good. Shows a lot of promise. I understand why you did what you did, but I’d be lying if I said I completely agreed with your poor execution.” He finished, shrugging indifferently.
“Ahem.” 
A woman’s voice behind them cleared her throat and Baz’s eyes widened in horror as he shot Ethan a quick glance, both men knowing just who exactly had requested their attention. They turned around, and Mirani greeted her with an almost suspicious grade of enthusiasm.
"Dr. Sakurai! You see, this- what I was saying to Eth- no, Dr. Ramsey is that-”
She smiled at him, unbothered.
“You forgot your pager again,” She teased, handing it to him gently before heading the other direction with not another word.
Ethan’s gaze followed her retreating form, pain stricken. He was almost jealous of Baz, even just for a moment. When was the last time Haruna had caught him in a moment of blundering and regarded him lovingly nonetheless? He failed to recall the last time that she flashed him the smile that no one else could bring to her face but him. The kind where the corners of her eyes crinkled and she had to bury her face in her hands because she was too embarrassed to show that face out in the open. It was one of the many things that made him fall in love with her, and continue to love her all the same.
He missed her. More than he could have ever imagined possible.
Dr. Mirani exhaled in relief as she left. “Well! That could have gone a lot worse than I- Dr. Ramsey?”
And, before he realized where his feet had begun to take him, he went after her. He couldn’t let things continue like this. He couldn’t stand it.
“Wait, Rookie-” 
The large strides that Ethan took to catch up to Dr. Sakurai in the empty hall were not many. Her steps were small but filled with purpose, and her heels that clacked mercilessly against the slate floor stopped abruptly. She turned to face him, and the second Haruna’s eyes met his, he was only reminded of the newfound hatred ulcerating at her very core. 
She raised an eyebrow. “Not a rookie anymore, Doctor.”
The lack of emotion in Dr. Sakurai’s voice as she addressed the man stung. He should be used to this. He should have foreseen this. But one year of knowing and loving her could never have prepared Ethan for her villainously petty demeanor finally directed at him. Two weeks since she said his name in a voice dripping with venom, and she hasn’t dared to utter it since.
Always, “Yes, Doctor,” or, “Noted, Doctor.” It was driving him insane.
“Dr. Ramsey.” He attempted, his tone dribbling with an impatience he didn’t realize had been brewing.
“Doctor.” She challenged.
He looked at her, a muscle in his jaw twitching in annoyance. She looked at him, arms crossed and adamant on winning whatever contest it was that they had engaged in. And they stayed like that, for several seconds until a group of interns passing by and regarding them with curiosity forced them to look away. Dr. Sakurai closed her eyes and exhaled once, gathering herself before maneuvering her way around the older doctor.
“Excuse me.” 
He watched her as she side-stepped him, about to continue her journey to her destination if he didn’t gently take her by the wrist and pull her into the medicine supply room. The very same one they hid in when they still kept Naveen a secret.
“W-What are you– Don’t fucking touch me.” Dr. Sakurai hissed once they had entered, jerking her hand from his grip.
“Are you going to be like this every time you see me?” Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose and looked up to the ceiling.  
“If we’re being honest? Yeah, yeah I am.”
“I meant it when I said I was sorry.”
“And I meant it when I said sorry wasn’t good enough.” 
“Look at yourself, Sakurai.” Ethan scoffed.
“Petty like a child. Did you think your official status as a resident would suffice in masking this juvenile drivel or should I just throw you back in with this year’s batch of interns?”
Haruna stared at him blankly, and just for a moment he felt his chest tighten. Her resentful gaze made him miss the way they once were, and he ached for her to look at him the way she used to, but Ethan’s lamenting was cut short as Sakurai’s mouth twitched. A failed attempt to contain herself before she burst into bitter laughter.
“You can do that, can’t you?” She asked disdainfully.
“Give one of them my position while you’re at it. The same way you gave it to me.”
He took a step toward her and she stayed put, refusing to be intimidated by the man that stood just over six inches taller. Then they were achingly close, the distance between them so small that her shoes were flush against his own. So small that Haruna couldn’t help but inhale the scent of musk and Italian cypress from his cologne. Ethan looked down at her angrily and the younger woman looked back up at him with a fire just as intense.
“You might hate the means of how you got here, Dr. Sakurai, but the deed is done. There’s nothing you can do to change it so I strongly suggest getting over your vendetta against me and doing what you’re supposed to do.”
“Yeah? And what might that be?” 
“Your damn job, for one!”
She finally stepped back, struck, and looked at him as if she was seeking clarification.
“My job? My job?!” She asked angrily, her voice raised in a crescendo.
Her jaw hung open as she stared at the floor in disbelief, scoffing as she processed Ethan’s last statement. The second seemed to last far too long before Haruna finally met his gaze. Her lip quivered as she shot him a look of pure, utter disgust.
“I took you for many things, but a hypocrite was never one of them.” She spat and Ethan felt his glare soften in realization.
You came here to fix things, and now look at what you’ve done.
“Rookie-” He began, his tone considerably weaker.
“Don’t. You don’t get to call me that. Not anymore. I’ll see you on the floor, Dr. Ramsey.” 
She left, and any hidden meanings to whatever relationship they had departed with her. He was no longer an Ethan Ramsey to her, and she was no longer a Haruna Sakurai to him.
She was just a resident. He was just her boss. And this unpalatable truth broke him.
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yoon-kooks · 5 years ago
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Pick Me Up
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Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Genre: Fluff, LIGHT smut, fwb!AU
Summary: Jimin has a cute habit of visiting his favorite songwriter late at night.
Word Count: 1.5k
Warnings: five seconds of smut if you squint
A/N: reposting this drabble from 2018 bc tumblr is acting up again. also! im posting a new prequel to this later on today! 
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Knock, knock. You glance away from your computer screen and into your mirror that reflects a shadowy figure standing outside your studio door. Normally, you wouldn’t respond to a potential zombie lurking around the BigHit building so late at night. But you know who it is.
“Did someone order a large coconut cold brew?” Jimin says in his best delivery boy voice. Of course, you hadn’t actually ordered anything, but you certainly are in dire need of a pick-me-up after working endless hours on a new song.
“I’m pretty sure I didn’t,” you shake your head as he places the cold drink into your hands. With the first sip, you give him a smirk. “But thanks, Jimothy.”
“How’s the song coming along?” He looks over your shoulder at your computer and then back at your dark circles.
“It's… coming,” you sigh. As much of a knack you have for songwriting, there’s something that has you stumped. “At the very least, I’ve nearly finished the melody composition.”
“Ooh, can I hear what you have so far?” Jimin’s eyes light up. You love how genuinely interested he is in the songwriting process. He’s always dropping by your studio after completing his own schedule, often bringing you snacks or coffee from your favorite café. Although you know it’s sometimes just for a quickie, you really do appreciate his company.
“Jimin, the last time I gave you a sneak peek, you deadass leaked it onto Twitter,” you cross your arms. “Bang PD will lose his shit if it happens again without his consent.”
“In my defense, I just wanted to show off how talented our songwriter is~” Jimin says with a hmph.
“Fine,” you roll your eyes to conceal a smile, pulling the boy into your studio and shutting the door behind him. “Just don’t record anything or tell the other members about this!”
“It’ll be our secret.” His hushed ASMR voice is only a tiny bit seductive, slyly entwining his chubby pinky with yours. “Promise.”
“Hmm, on second thought, I don’t trust you~” You break off the pinky swear and skip back to your computer, sliding your headphones back over your ears. Teasing him is your favorite pastime.
“You’re so stubborn…” The boy rolls a chair over and takes a seat next to you. He just sits there quietly. Whether he’s paying more attention to you or to what you’re editing, you aren’t sure. All you know is that he’s never a bother to have around, especially when you’re stressed over deadlines and low on inspiration.
After rearranging a bit of the composition, you slip your headphones off and put them over the boy’s ears for him to hear. You stare into his focused eyes, watching his every reaction to your work in progress. He looks right back at you, trying his hardest not to give you any kind of feedback, just to spite you.
When the track ends, Jimin simply removes the headphones and deadass says it was “aite”.
“Go home!” You shove his shoulder and send him flying off on his rolling chair.
By the time he rolls his way back to you, you’ve already resumed working on the track. “I like it so far,” he watches and waits for you to turn towards him before giving you hearty eyesmile.
“Really?” You ruffle his soft hair before slipping your hand down to his neck. Your fingers massage him gently.
He nods. You use the tips of your fingers to tilt his chin, giving you full access to his plump lips. You can’t remember the last time the two of you had studio sex, but you’re certainly craving his touch, his affection, and his love.
“Do you have time?” Your voice is already breathy and needy, praying he says yes so you can soothe the growing ache between your legs.
“Only about five minutes,” Jimin glances up at your kitty clock as he lifts you up from your chair and onto your desk. “But we can make it work.”
You watch as he rids you of your leggings and lace before running a pair of fingers up your thigh and along your soaked center. The intense sensitivity makes your entire body shutter with lust and anticipation as he brings himself closer to your erect little bud. But at the same time, you realize you would be the only one on the receiving end.
“Jimin… Let’s wait for a time when we both have more than five minutes,” you say softly as you close your legs, though you appreciate the boy’s thoughtfulness to satisfy your dire needs.
“It’s fine, Y/N,” he chuckles at your considerate gesture. “Besides, how’re you supposed to focus on work when you’re this wet?” He holds up his glazed finger tips to show proof of your sexual need before sucking them off. “Didn’t you say you work best after our little studio sessions?”
“Yeah, but…” you blush and pout, despite there being some truth in his words. There’s been plenty of times where you think you’ve lost all inspiration for a song until Jimin comes along to take your mind off work for just a little bit—sort of like a cleanse. Some of your greatest tracks have come after late nights spent with Jimin. But many of those nights didn’t even involve sex.
You hop your naked ass off the desk and push Jimin back into a chair with you on top of him. Your lips clash with his as you feel his grip tighten at your hips. “A makeout session will do for tonight,” you lick your lips, smiling at the boy. “I’d rather save the sex for a time when we have all night.”
“Quickies aren’t cutting it for you anymore?” Jimin asks between liplocks. You feel him getting hard through his sweatpants against your crotch.
“It’s not that,” you suck gently against his neck, just enough to get him to moan but not leave a mark. “I just don’t want to feel so rushed when I’m with you.”
“Oh? Is this a confession?” Jimin pulls away and smirks at you. “You enjoy spending time with me that much?”
“You can’t talk. You’re the one who always uses coffee as an excuse to visit my studio like twenty times a week.” Despite the defensive jab, your next peck is a soft one against the boy’s cheek. “But sometimes I just think about spending quality time with you outside of here…”
“Like dating.” Jimin’s smirk fades.
“I mean, I know we can’t, but-” You’re cut off by a long and tender kiss. It feels like forever before either of you pull away. And when you finally do, Jimin just stares into your eyes in silence.
“Anyway, I need to finish this song…” you say when you realize he can’t give you the reply you want. “… And you need to get home before the guys worry about you.”
You slip off of the boy’s lap to reclothe your lower half. He takes your hand as you walk him towards the door but stops you before you can turn the knob.
“Y/N, I’m sorry,” he says, looking down at your fingers interlaced with his. “I’m sorry I can’t give you the relationship you want…”
“It’s not your fault, Jimin. I don’t think you realize how much it means to me every time you drop by the studio. Even if it’s one time or twenty times a week.” You wish he wouldn’t always blame himself. If anything, you’re grateful that he takes time out of his busy day to spend with you. He dotes on you because he adores you. “We don’t need to date for me to know your feelings.”
“I’m glad,” he smiles with less worry. “But if you ever want to spend time outside of the studio, let’s hang out at the dorms, yeah? It could be like a mini date?”
“Didn’t you say you wanted to keep this a secret even from the guys?” you ask, even though you’d be delighted to have some Netflix and cuddle sessions with Jimin.
“If it’s just them, they’ll understand. You know how much they all love their cute songwriter,” he pinches your cheek. “Plus, they’ve been pestering me to ask you out for the past few months. You already have their approval.”
“I am cute, thank you.” You gloat in his compliment.
“You are.”
“But yeah, I’d love to visit you at the dorms, since you always visit me here~”
“…Should we start tonight?”
“Wow, someone’s eager,” you snicker. “I knew that bulge wasn’t just my imagination…”
“Y/N!” he whines at your teasing.
“I do still have a lot of work to do on this track, though.” You bite your lip, trying to come up with the best solution. “Will hanging out with you tonight spark any inspiration for my songwriting?”
“Possibly~” Jimin raises his eyebrows and widens his eyes. He knows that’s the expression that never fails to make you laugh. “And if not, I’ll spend the weekend being your coffee fairy until you finish that song.”
“Alright, alright,” you giggle at his funny face. “I’m counting on you, Mr. Coffee Fairy.”
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oh-theatre · 5 years ago
Text
Objection!: Chapter 16
Chapter title: How ‘Bout A Dance
A/n:  !!!!! Guys! Guys! YALL this chapter!! Look im so excited!! im cryfin i Love THEM. LO AND THE KIDS!! PRINXIETY IS SO SMOFT!! PATTON BEING MY FAVE!! Just a breather from everything!! I LOVE THEM AND IM SO GLAD WE ARE PROGRESSING. I hope you enjoy this chapter and please leave me some comments! 
I KNOW LITERALLY EVERYONE IS GONNA BE WATCHING THE NEW EPISODE BUT I SAID SCREW IT AND IM POSTING IT
First | Previous | Next
words: 5944
summary: Roman suffers with some of the after-effects of his experience
pairings: Eventual logicality, eventual prinxiety, platonic demus, romantic remile
warnings: Murder mention, child murder, Law and Courtroom, swearing, blood, hospital, crime scene, dead bodies, murder, gun mention, guns, swearing, flashbacks, angst
Ao3 Link  
“And finally, the noble prince was saved from his captors and healed by his dashing love” Roman explains, the twins bundle up closer their small eyes flutter trying to listen. “The knight, always so resilient, could never give up on his one true love” Roman recites, Patton smiles sweetly from the door, a hot tea warming his hand as he leans on the arch. “So together, the knight and the prince fought endless hours until the battle was won” Valerie giggles clapping her small hands, Remus yawns pulling the blanket closer towards him. “They returned home heroes and were quickly crowned king and king of this land of promise” Remus gives his best cheer, dazed and sleepy. “And they lived happily ever after” Roman finishes planting a kiss on each of their foreheads before gently laying them in their respective beds.
“Tomorrow can you do one about princesses?” Valerie requests as Roman tucks her in, she plays loosely with his face poking and prodding.
“Anything for my Princesa” Roman assures, the little girl yawns satisfied turning over as she clutches to her bear. Roman moves across the room to where a lazy Remus had waddled to his bed, struggling to climb in. Roman helps him in making sure he's secure.
“I want one about octopuses and snakes” Remus mumbles, Roman glances towards Patton who simply shrugs. “My new best friend loves snakes,” He says into his pillow, Roman chuckles wishing the pair goodnight. He turns off the lights making sure their night-lights are on before closing the door behind him.  
“They missed you,” Patton says, the two men situate into the living room. Roman slumps into the couch exhausted, the fatigue setting in. His first day out of the hospital, though slow and careful was still rough. Patton had been by his side most of the time, he was incredibly grateful for it. “I missed you Ro” Patton adds, a soft smile spreads across the judge's face. Logan had stopped by earlier to visit and check-in, even Remy and Emile had joined them. Alas, the one prominent missing piece, the one Roman desired the most. Virgil.
“Thanks for today, it was nice” He adjusts his position, curling up. “I forgot how much they could be, however, I love them don't get me wrong” Roman defends, he sighs rubbing his head. “I was just hoping all of this wouldn't be so hard…” He didn't want this injury to linger, to change what he was before. He loved playing with the kids, he adored striding through the day with adventure, he longed for the nights where he huddled them up and told stories so magical.
“Eh, maybe you're just getting old” Patton jokes, Roman laughs nudging him gently. “You should get some sleep, I know it's not ideal but you'll be back home tomorrow” Patton suggests spinning the spoon in his cup. Roman sits up, his brows furrowed.
“What do you mean? My house is a mess” He remembers, the dark images of shattered memories flash through his mind. A coy smile quickly makes its way around Patton's face. “What did you do?”
“It's not what I did, its what Virge did!” Patton exclaims, Roman softens at the mention of the detective, his chest fills. “He spent all day today cleaning up and organizing for you, he even took Ollie to get pampered” Patton informs, Roman can't describe his thoughts. The sizzling blush across his face, the increased sweat gathered in his hands.
“He did that...for me?” Roman marvels, a bitter taste stings the tip of his tongue, a reminder. Don't get your hopes up. With the addition of the ‘Remy incident’, Roman learned that a certain lawyer couldn't keep his mouth shut. Roman's romantic plans revealed to a less than happy Virgil. “He hasn't been avoiding me?”
“Of course not silly” Patton smiles “He's been planning this for a while” Roman hopes his eyes are teasing him, a joke, there can't be actual tears welling...can there? “Hey, if this is about the gala, he was just a little surprised I'm sure he’ll say yes” Patton assures, Roman nods. “Promise me you'll go through with it?” He holds out his pinky finger, a cute smirk on his face. Roman scoffs playfully but promises nonetheless. “Good! Now sleep” And so Roman did. Patton set him up in the guest bedroom before retreating to his own room. Sleep was the easy part, it was impossible not to feel comfortable in this house. It radiated love and joy and warmth, his dreams on the other hand? Now that was difficult.
So was waking up in a drenched sweat, covering his mouth as relentless screams came out. Liquid puddled in his hands, dripping down him, unable to differentiate. The room remained still, the darkness consuming him as something moved through the shadows. The screams wouldn't stop, he couldn't stop them, they controlled him.
“Roman!” Patton's voice broke through, the judge looked towards the door, light-flooded in, an aura surrounded the lawyer. He quickly took a seat at Romans side, taking him in his arms. The judge shook his head frantically, apologies muttered endlessly. Patton's gaze filled with worry as he held tighter, strokes of comfort across his head. “Ro...talk to me, what's wrong?” Patton pleads, wanting nothing more than to help, be there.
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry” He repeats simply, Patton shushes him continuing his strokes. He takes a towel from the nightstand, dabbing across him softly, a soaking feeling never helped.
“You have nothing to be sorry for” If there's one thing Patton wanted Roman to hear, it was that. “You're ok, you're safe, I promise” Well and that...he mimics a rocking motion, Roman isn't there anymore, a shell as the judge escapes into his thoughts. Hiding in fear of the man he sees in Patton's arms. “You're ok Roman, it's ok” He hopes, his own mind racing violently. It slows and he can feel the steady breathing, he takes his phone out shooting a very messy, quick text to Logan and Virgil.
“I'm sorry” Roman whispers again, too afraid to fall asleep, too tired to fight anymore.
~~~
“Is he ok? What happened? What's going on?” Virgil interrogates as soon as Patton approaches. He's been waiting by the front desk, his foot about to be shaken off by pure force. “Patton!” He gives the lawyer no time to answer, a sigh returned.
“I spoke to his doctor this morning, its common after such a traumatic injury” Patton begins slowly, Virgil instantly regains a regular demeanor, he listens. “He warned me about what Romans going to be going through-”
“What?!” Virgil cries, he can't handle this. How can he help? What can he do?
“Virgil, you need to take a deep breath” A newly joined Logan advises. “Let Patton explain ok?” Virgil nods, the arm Logan puts on his shoulder creating a sense of calm. Patton gives a supportive smile but continues.
“He's going to be withdrawn, and his temper is going to shorten.” Patton remembers “He's going to be very irritable but we can not walk on eggshells around him. I mean it ok? The last thing he wants its to be treated differently, we just have to adjust” Patton sighs, moving on “He can't come back to work yet, a-and he's having trouble sleeping and eating and-” Patton stops himself taking a deep breath. He can't help but picture last night, the fear, the absolute hatred for himself in Roman's eyes. He shakes his head, looking up. “Uh someones gotta stay with him, I just…” He meets their eyes again “I don't think he should be alone...but he needs to go home” The two agree, details to be discussed.
“So, obviously, no gala right?” Virgil adds, Logan goes to nod but Patton purses his lips.
“No he has to go, the doctor cleared him” Patton explains “But either way he has to, the gala is Roman's favorite event, he looks forward to every year. Not going would be detrimental to him” That's the last thing Virgil wants, hesitant he nods.
“Is he still...planning on...you know?” Virgil slows, Patton gives an awkward smile.
“Yeah...but you don't have to say yes” Patton defends, Virgil swallows “If you don't want” He adds, Virgil gives him a small glare, Patton smirks. “We can move him back today, and I'm ok taking the first few nights” Logan tilts his head, a frown upon his face. Even in the midst of everything, even the sunken look under Patton's eyes, the worrisome furrow of his brows, even with all of that he looked...stunning.
Woah
Ok, Logan clearly had not gotten enough sleep. Or maybe he was right, and should just-
“Pat, you have the twins to worry about” Virgil reminds, Patton's face remains. “I can take him tonight, ease him into the house” Virgil offers, though he does feel it. He wants to be there for Roman but he's not sure how.
“And you have Damian, it's ok I'll find a babysitter” He sighs hearing his phone ping “not up to debate Virge, I have to go, talk later ok?” Virgil huffs but nods making his way towards the door. Logan waves him farewell, promptly following Patton through the halls. He walks by his busy side, his hands behind him, fiddling with his fingers. Patton stops groaning as his phone goes off again.
“Everything alright?” Logan inquires, watching the reflection of the phone in Patton's glasses.
“I'm just so swamped, I have to talk to Haley about the case, I have to make arrangements for the Gala-” Logan cuts in
“I thought the committee took care of that” Patton laughs dryly, shaking his head at the suggestion.
“Please, I do most of the work and they take the credit” He states, Logan stifles a smirk. He loves the hinted passive-aggressiveness that radiates from Patton. It's nice to see him know his place, know that he deserves so much. Patton stares frozen at the wall as yet another ping from his phone plays out. “Oh god, their appointment I forgot!” He exclaims quickly replying. “And I have to find a babysitter for tonight..” He mutters, the words ‘pick-up’ and ‘Barbara’ are also slipped in
Offer Logan
Say the words
You want to
Logan searching for the courage to speak up clears his throat.
“Patton, I could help” The bespeckled lawyer looks up at him, his head cocks “I'm more than willing to” He offers, a nervous ringing in his ears, specifically with the twins but... For what seems like an eternity, Patton simply stares but soon Logan can take a breath. Patton takes his hands which are now placed neatly in front of him and squeezes sweetly.
“Oh! Thank you!” He exclaims, Logan returns his sickly smile. “If it's not too much to ask could you take the twins?” He requests a very small sliver of hope, Logans defenses fall. “I know its a lot! But it's just that they love you and know you, and you're so good with them” Patton rambles, Logan's soft spot for this quality is odd.
“But...I thought...only with people you…” He starts, he resets himself, “I thought you only left them with people you trusted” Logan recalls, the image of Remy tackling the twins.
“I never said I didn't trust you” Patton assures, the sweetest of smiles across his face.
~~~
The screeching children used to be so off-putting but now as Logan stands outside the daycare its a sense of joy and adventure. He pushes his way in, locating the front desk quickly, children can be seen running around. The woman smiles up at him, holding a finger as she finishes a call, he waits idly examining the building. To his left is the recreation area, its quite big with many different sections for different activities. Further to the right is some kind of kitchen/eating area and an educational section. The children play throughout the entire scene, some passing Logan as they go.
“Hi! How can I help you?” The woman greets, Cindy if Logan recalls.
“I'm here to pick up Remus and Valerie Hart” He informs, Cindy smiles nodding. Her fast fingers move quickly across the keyboard as she pulls up information.
“Patton told me you would be coming, name and identification please” She requests with an everlasting grin. Logan nods pulling his wallet from his pocket, he places his ID in front of her as she checks it. “Logan...Tolentino?”
“That is correct” He assures, Cindy finishes something up before standing up and making her way into the crowd. Logan watches her as she somehow spots two children from the crowd, something sets off in Logan as he watches Cindy take Remus and Valerie from their activity. A small smile across his face as they spot him running towards him ripping themselves away from Cindy.
“Logan!” Valerie squeals running faster than her brother, she jumps onto his lug, squeezing tightly. Logan kneels to greet her, amusing her with a small handshake.
“Lolo!” Remus, unknowingly, teases. A more...abrupt approach is taken as he jumps into Logan's arms almost knocking him over. “What are you doing here?” He questions quite forcefully as he pushes against the man's chest. Valerie nods in agreement clearly as curious as her brother.
“I'm here to pick you up and take you to the doctors, and then home” He explains, they grin brightly vibrating in his clutches. “Shall we?” He asks, he stands taking their hands to lead them out. Cindy waves them farewell as he goes out to the car. It gains silent quickly and Logan feels the sweat grow in his hands. He has no trouble upholding conversations, it's more of a matter of whether he wants to. But right now? His mind runs blank, he's spoken to children before, so why was this so difficult.
They reach the car and Logan helps them into their seats, Patton and him had traded vehicles for easier transport so it took some getting used to. Remus was eager to get into his seat on his own, Logan made sure it was secure. He helps Valerie next who held a pretty tight hold on the lawyer, almost fearful of letting go. Once shes secure Logan goes to move to the front seat but Valerie tugs.
“Valerie, is everything alright?” He questions softly, she struggles with her words before sighing in defeat. She lets go turning away from the window. Logan has an immense need to push, he wants to help, but how? He piles into the front seat beginning the drive, the kids speak in quick mumbles in the back. The drive goes by and they arrive promptly.
“Good morning! Welcome to the children's clinic, how can I help you?” Logan waves and carries the twins forward. They insisted they were ‘exhausted’ and Logan didn't mind.
“Hello, I'm Logan Tolentino, I'm here with Remus and Valerie Hart” He explains, the man nods.
“Right, Mister Hart informed us you were coming,” He says checkings over a few things, Logan pulls out his ID and all of the children's medical files Patton gave him. “Thank you, uh...yeah looks good. Just wait for your name to be called” He says handing them back, Logan thanks him sitting down. The twin's race to the small activity area, playing with the toys. Logan wants to warn them to be careful, to make sure they don't touch their face but his voice fails him. As if he isn't confident enough to...to take care of them.
“Valerie Hart?” Logan looks to the source, Valerie comes racing by quickly taking the nurses' hand. Logan stands to follow but worries about leaving Remus.
“It's ok! I go by myself! Rem gets more scared than I do” She assures smiling brightly, Logan nods a grateful smile in return. He watches her disappear into the office chatting away with the nurse. Logan wonders whether he should have let that happen, he feels as if everything is a test. A tally of points to determine his ability to take care of children, Patton's words breathing down his neck.
“I never said I didn't trust you”
“Remus Hart?” Logan snaps his neck towards the nurse's direction, he feels Remus grasp his hand, hesitantly moving forward. “Hi Remus, how are you?” The woman, Tora, asks. Remus hides behind Logan's leg, avoiding eye contact. She awes before facing Logan. “You can just follow me here, we’re going to take his weight, height, the usual” She informs, Remus steps onto the weight fiddling, much like his father, with his fingers. Tora does some quick scribbling before ushering them into the room.
“Help!” He whispers softly to Logan as the nurse closes the door. Logan obliges placing him gently on the bed. He giggles as the crimped paper sounds off below him. “Thank you” He recites, almost as if rehearsed.
“You're not...forgive my bluntness, his father correct?” Tora inquires as she sets up the blood pressure machine. Remus watches it frightened, his eyes scanning her every movement.
“Oh no, I'm…” He swallows the word, what is he? Friend...friend is not enough to describe..but what if that's exactly what Patton thought of them as. Or less? What was he to Patton.
“He's dada’s best friend!” Remus cheers, that works, Logan decides. “And Dada loves him” He mentions casually, Logan knows that at this age the differences between love are so sparse for children. They just see the world, the complexity of everything is left unturned, so this statement was nothing out of the ordinary. But the concept, the idea...Logan couldn't breathe.
“Well isn't that sweet” Tora finishes quickly and runs through the procedure easily. The doctor comes in and checks through everything, asking the standard questions. Logan has prepared in case any information was needed, he was surprised at just how much he knew.
“Alright, all that's left is a shot and then you're free to go” He states, Remus, who had been quite calming up until then burst. He jumps up quickly on the bed and hides behind Logan who had made the mistake of standing next to him. “Aw Remus, it's not so bad, just ask your dad” The doctor looks expectantly to Logan, it just wasn't the right time to correct him. Logan turns to Remus, placing him carefully back in his position.
“Remus, it's ok” He begins, the little boy watches him, puddles of water gathering in his eyes “At first it is scary, but then you won't even feel it. A quick pinch and it's over” He demonstrates on his arm, pinching it rapidly, no pain. Remus watches, he moves his hand over the spot, his eyes lighting up. “And, you can hold on to my hand if you get scared, alright?” Remus pokes the spot, but nods.
“Okey” He mutters, barely a confirmation “Can we get ice cream after?”
“We have ice cream at home” We, home. Logan might need the doctor.
~~~
“And welcome home!” Virgil claps, sighing dryly. Roman nods, a weak smile is given in return. “Uh, after the gala, Patton and I will switch and Ill come stay with you” He reads over their schedule, Roman gives a thumbs up from his exhausted position from the couch. “But for tonight, Pats your babysitter” He quips, Roman laughs
“Thanks, and thanks for helping me unpack, and for resisting the urge to make fun of me, and for not mentioning last night or the fact that I want to ask you to the gala” He rambles, Virgil takes a breath for him.
“Now we don't have time to unpack ALL of that” Virgil teases, Roman huffs. “As for making fun of you…” Virgil moves slowly, leaning over the couch as he speaks to Roman. “Never Princey” Somehow his fingers make their way into Roman's hair, he fiddles softly with the ends of them. “Dude your hair is so soft” he marvels almost instantly, Roman chuckles sitting up. Virgil makes his way around, sitting next to the judge. “And hey last night, it's ok...you do...know that right?”
“I guess...I feel awful” Roman admits, Virgil remains, he waits for his opening. “And, though not the ideal way I wanted you to find out, sorry about the gala thing, I know you don't wanna go let alone with me” Virgil cocks his head.
“Now who said I didn't want to go with you?” Virgil's fixed gaze falling onto Roman's eyes. Though tired, they still shimmer with amber excitement. “But why now? Why the dance?” Virgil questions, this might not be the most ideal time for them…
“Because you broke up with..” Roman snaps trying to remember “Drake! God what a douchey name-”
“And douchey person” Virgil reminds recalling the reporter he had dated for a while.
“Right, you guys broke up like...nine months ago, and this was just...the perfect opportunity” Roman hopes it does not sound shaky. Virgil stifles a laugh, Roman pushes his shoulder gently. “I was nervous until I almost died, and then I decided I didn't have time to be nervous” He admits, Virgil softens, the quiet stir of the house sets in.
“Well, I would've said yes, still will if you want to” Roman nods, neither able to meet their eyes.
“Hey uh, Virge?” He begins, the detective looks up at him. He stands from the couch, kneeling in front of it, his face keeps serious “Would you go to the gala with me?” He asks, holding out his hands as if opening a box, besides the fact that it's empty. Virgil laughs nudging, he collects himself before gasping.
“Yes of course!” He cries, they stand cheering delighted before falling back onto the couch, laughing. “Crap now I have to get a suit” He sighs, Roman shrugs knowing he has a plethora of options available. “I should get back to Dee, he's been a little antsy every time I leave lately…” Virgil mentions
“Of course, tell him his dad says hi” He jokes, Virgil, rolls his eyes flicking Roman across the head. “Bye Virge!” He shouts, Virgil turns shooting quick finger guns leaving shortly after. As soon as the door closes Roman jumps quickly, a small victory dance commences through his house. New energy takes place as the lights seem just a bit brighter. He hums as it goes, a sweet tune carried with him as he begins cleaning up a few things. He moves to the kitchen. His eyes dare to scan the room, the room is spotless but his mind is not. Moments later the door swings open full f..orce
“Hello?” Roman calls out from his position, he hears rapid forceful footsteps under him. Doors and cabinets slam, things break with a piercing crash. Roman drops his items and rushes to the door. Locking it, he turns off the lights instantly calling Virgil, no response. “Virge, please pick up” He whispers frantically, cowers in the corner, the footsteps only grow louder.
“Roman Reial!” A husky voice calls, it's shaky as it searches through the upper level. The urge to yell ‘not here’ was too much, he clasps his mouth shut with his hand clearly stifling hysterical laughter. Ollie’s whines as he barks trying to scare the intruder away are momentarily heard. Please don't hurt him, Roman begs wishing his spaniel was with him.
His door was old, it was ancient in fact, it wouldn't survive a beating. And yet, it held pretty well for a while. Well until it shoved open now Roman could see the figure, fight or flight. And yet for some reason, he remained frozen watching as a gun was pulled on him.
“Hiding like a coward are you mister Reial?” The man questions, the nerve. He's being smart, fighting would do him no good, although neither did hiding. Running, running would've been the smart option. “Shame, I was hoping you would put up a fight” Roman tried hard to identify his voice, searching for a clue of anything at all.
“What do you want?” Roman tries, the man laughs, sickly his voice oozes. An eloquent fit Roman supposes, dying at the hands of the unknown, his life built quite the same. Charging into the unknown, he winces, as the man reasserts his position. Soon enough the shot rings throughout, it's funny, Roman doesn't hear it at first but he feels it. It pushes him back, his hands move slowly to the wound clutching tightly as the red substance oozes out of him.
“One down, one to go” The man mocks, Roman watches blurry as he exits leaving a helpless judge to wallow in his own despair, as he watches the darkness consume him.
“Hey! Sorry, I forgot my...jacket” Virgil wanders off, walking towards the dazed man. Roman faces him coming back from his musings. “Ro?” He questions ever so softly “Are you ok?” Virgil places a hand on Roman's shoulder, the instant wincing wasn't intentional but a leftover. A bitter taste left to last.
“Peachy keen” he whispers his lie.
~~~
“Yes perfect! Right there!” Patton commands the men nod walking briskly away as they set up the room. Patton smiles standing in the center of the beautiful draping ballroom.
He yawns, he misses the twins. He sees them throughout the day but he's been so busy and taking care of Roman, though he loved being there for his friend, was...honestly hard. He didn't know if he was helping. He knew Logan was taking good care of them which helped relax him but he just wanted to scoop them up and lay on the couch watching movies.
“Mister Hart, you look wonderful” Patton turns ready to thank the stranger, turning bright red as his eyes fall on an equally wonderful looking Logan.
“Oh! Hey Lo, you look…” Patton swears he's just exhausted but he couldn't find the right words. Logan goes to work in a suit almost every day, it is not an uncommon occurrence. And yet here he stood, under the aurous lights of the chandelier framing him perfectly, he looked- “Enchanting” Patton mutters, his eyes meeting Logans.
“It looks marvelous in here Patton” Logan compliments, Patton nods slowly, his jaw slacked. His eyes continue to scan the man, something about the way the room presents itself. Logan is breathtaking, literally, Patton might faint. “The twins are all tucked in for the evening and Barbara is watching over them, she's grateful for the night off” He explains, the mention of his family sets off a reset button in the lawyer. He bounces smiling.
“Thank you, and thank you for picking her up and thank you for everything Lo, seriously, it means the world to me” Patton takes Logan's hand, both feel a familiar shock run through them, tingling their hearts excited. He squeezes, lingering just a bit, even as his name is called. “Yes?” He turns finally pulling away.
“The event has begun” They announce, Pattom buzzes excited releasing a shaky breath. And then it did, people flooded in, moving across the floor dancing soon the room was alive. Logan had lost Patton in the crowd somewhere, a sinking feeling in his stomach fearing he wouldn't be seeing him.
“Hey pocket protector” Roman greets, Virgil at his side, eyeing the world around him. “No date?” He teases, Virgil appropriately nudges him. “Twas a joke” He responds
“Twas not funny” Virgil replies, Logan smiles weakly. He's spent the better half a week with children, and he adores them of course but he was hoping to have a conversation. One not full of coloring and octopuses. He excuses himself.
“Look you pushed him away” Roman retorts, Virgil scoffs feeling more comfortable by the minute. “Hey, you ok?” Roman checks, Virgil rolls his eyes
“I should be asking you that, how are you feeling?” Virgil returns the gesture, Roman resists the urge to reassure him and simply nods. “Oh? The music is changing” Virgil notes
“Astute observation detective Tormine” Roman teases, he takes a deep breath “Wanna dance?” Virgil shrugs dragging the judge towards the floor. Roman feels as though his entire weight has been gone, he floats letting Virgil lead him through the dance. Roman, surprisingly, not much of a dancer. He has rhythm, so as Virgil takes point, he picks it up quickly.
“Nice, you sure you're good?” Virgil checks again, the music drowns out in the background as it becomes just them. The pair in their own bubble, moving swiftly, clutching to one another as they dance. Roman can't tell if this is real, it feels too good.
“I am good Virge please” He hopes, Virgil backs off, nodding. The music really does take them into their own world. “Thank you, for...saying yes” He mumbles, Virgil reasserts his hands.
“Roman, I didn't do this...out of pity.” Virgil wants to make sure the judge knows that, he just...he doesn't know how to express it. “I wanted to say yes, me, I, all me” He assures, Romans smile couldn't be measured. “Now come on, I need some air, too many schmucks” He jokes, Roman claps for the song before obliging Virgil's wishes as they make their way to the balcony.
“Patton did a wonderful job…” Roman muses leaning over the railing, the chill runs through him, Virgil was right...he needed this. “Oh hey” Virgil turns his head to face Roman, his arms folded across the railing. “I forgot to mention, you look really nice”
“Right back at you” Virgil quips, the silence that falls between them is comfortable, welcomed. They're so close, Virgil feels warm, not needing an extra jacket. Not that Roman would hesitate to wrap him in anything. Roman yawns tilting his head slightly, he allows his head to fall carefully onto Virgil's shoulder. Virgil pets him teasingly. “There there” He mocks
“Aha,” Roman chuckles dryly. “I really like you Virge” Roman admits, he knows it's the residue of the meds but the truth it holds is real. Some might claim it moved too fast but four years too slow was Roman's argument.
“Well I would hope so” Virgil replies playing with his hair, its soft under his fingers and Roman doesn't mind. He lifts his head up and stares in Virgil's eyes, you really can get lost in them, the ebony mystery behind them. Roman's next move could be deemed as impulsive, fast, but to him? It was perfect.
He leans in placing his hand on Virgil's cheek. He won't have to watch his reaction as he shuts his eyes and let his heart get the best of him. His lips meet the detectives and everything falls away. It's different than expected, that would happen when you imagine the moment so many times it's hard to believe its happening. It is harder to believe that Virgil, though caught off guard for a moment, returns the gesture. They both know, consciously the need to breathe but both want nothing more than to remain connected. Virgil pulls away first making sure his hand stays interlaced with Romans. The warmth transferring from Roman's hand onto his cheek allows him to melt into it.
“Wow…” Virgil marvels “You're a really bad kisser” He jokes, his eyes glossed over. Roman releases his hold, laughing as he pushes gently against Virgil. They resume leaning against the railing (and one other) both releasing a sigh, with it so do their worries for the night.
“Well, this was fun” Roman taps the railing lightly beginning his venture back into the room. Virgil chuckles shaking his head, he turns taking Romans hand pulling him towards him. Curious, perhaps. Desperate? Mayhaps. Desiring? Absolutely. He kisses Roman, wanting nothing more than to stay like this.
“Woah there,” Roman says once they separate. “Take it easy, I'm on a date” Roman quips
“Whatever Princey,” Virgil says “Come on, let's go dance”
Romans never felt happier. Should they never talk about it, Roman was flying that night.
~~~
“Logan!” Patton cries finally identifying the lawyer in the middle of the bustling people. Logan takes Patton's shoulders grounding the excited man. He squeals through a grin, his body vibrating in Logan's hold.
“Yes, Patton?” Logan chuckles, Pattons smile only grows.
“I just saw the most amazing thing!” He exclaims turning around as people eye him, his voice becomes hushed now “Roman and Virgil, out on the balcony...kissing!” He announces, Logan's grip loosens and his enthusiasm disappears.
“Oh, that's wonderful” Logan remarks dryly, he is happy for them of course, it just feels as though the world has been progressing without him.
“Logan! It's more than wonderful! Those two have been dancing around each other for years!” Patton can feel his cheeks hurting but he doesn't care, the night just lights up, the music swelling and his heart bursting. “Oh, I'm so happy” He swoons “Oh! And they're going home together and then they'll cuddle and just have a wonderful night!” Patton hopes
“How many drinks have you had?” Logan questions, staring at the almost dazed figure. Patton, keeping his smile bright lowers his eyes.
“I don't drink, I had a few sugary drinks but nothing alcoholic” he assures, Logan bites his tongue feeling awful at the assumption. Also completely aware of Patton's disdain for alcohol. “I should sit” He jokes dryly, Logan nods leading him over to one of the high-tables. “How's your night?” He wonders, sipping some water that had been placed complementary on the tables.
“Mundane” Logan replies, instantly regretting his words as Patton's grin only dims. “But better, now that I have…” You “Someone to talk to, I never really care for these events” He gestures at the room, the energy behind them buzzing.
“Understandable” Patton nods, he sighs watching as the room only grows stronger. “I'm so excited to go home and see the twins” Patton hangs on the words, stretching at the idea. “Oh! And Barb and Marcy! I feel as though I haven't seen them for ages” He moans
“Well, you don't have to stay” Logan offers, collecting his keys from his coat pocket. The sweet jingle meaning a lot to Patton. He had been here for hours not sure who dropped him off. Riding him in comfortable silence, with a light tune playing as the pair teased each other accidentally meeting somewhere along the dashboard? Well, it sounded more than perfect.
“Oh! But I've barely done anything” Patton says wistfully, his eyes fixed on the option to escape to the warmth of his home. However, he organized the event, he did most of the work he should be here, waiting it out still what's left are the remnants of a spectacular evening.
“How about a dance, one dance and then we can go?” Logan proposes extending his hand, Patton bites his lower lip before taking his hand and invitation. A familiar shock zaps them both, their fingers fitting perfectly together. The lawyer leads him across the floor as the sound slows and a sweet tune plays. A jazzy tone as they brace in each other's arms, Logan leads feeling it be the safer option. Patton, being exhausted, lets him lead. The drowsy motions of the lawyer only add to the soft touch they grace the dancefloor with. The song ends almost too soon, neither had been able to look anywhere but each other. Lingering if only for a second before applauding the night away.
“That was perfect” Patton relaxes content, feeling the energy drain from him as he ascends from his sugary throne. “Thank you” He whispers, seems their hands still connected.
“Home?” Logan twirls his fingers in Pattons, a quick tickle hits the pair.
“Home” he confirms.
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katiebug445 · 4 years ago
Text
Happy Birthday, Marco!
so some context: im in the process of reading attack on titan before the fall and i fucking adore cardina baumeister with my entire fucking heart, he’s such a soft boy and my heart belongs to him and i want his little gay ass to be as happy as can be, so i thought, you know who else needs someone to be soft and happy with? marco. so mardina was born and i fucking adore this ship with my whole heart and they’re just CUTE together okay they fucking are so im posting this but whatever i don’t need to justify myself just take it
Cardina wanted nothing but for it to be special.
He and Marco had been together for just a little under a year, and it was the first birthday they were getting to celebrate as a couple. He’d been planning it in secret for months, buying little things here and there when he was able to go shopping on his own, hiding it away in the top of his closet, where he knew Marco never noticed things. He’d even gone so far as to message Marco’s best friend, a man named Jean who had always scared the hell out of him, for help in making the cake.
Cardina wanted to do it from scratch, to make something entirely homemade for his birthday, but he genuinely had no idea what he was doing, and Jean was a chef, so why not?
Once Marco left for work that morning, Cardina sprang out of bed and got started as soon as the car pulled away, pulling down all of the decorations and ingredients he’d picked up, and took everything down to the kitchen so he could get started.
He dumped everything out onto the table and began to sort it absentmindedly as he tapped around on his phone for a playlist that Marco had made for him of all of his favorite songs, and once it was playing, he tied his hair back and started ripping open packages. The decorating was one of his favorite parts of this stuff, figuring out the perfect placements for banners and streamers and every other little thing was always so much fun for him, he wished he had the chance to do it more often.
Once everything was how he wanted it, Cardina went back to the kitchen, bopping along to a cheery song that he knew Marco loved, and hummed along with it as he typed out a message for Jean, telling him he was ready for him to send over the easiest recipe he had on hand. While he waited for him to get back, he rounded up everything that he assumed he would need to make a cake, trying to remember all of the baking things that Marco used when they made box brownies and cookies.
He kept peeking over at his phone, but nothing had come through yet, and Cardina was starting to get impatient waiting for it. He tried to distract himself by tidying up some little things here and there, but that didn’t take nearly enough time up before he was back at his phone, cursing quietly to himself and wondering if Jean actually knew how to text at all, by the speed it was taking.
Cardina found himself wandering back upstairs with his phone in hand, deciding to go ahead and get dressed, and before he realized what he was doing, had one of Marco’s shirts pulled on, along with his favorite pair of pants and an old baseball cap that he’d been given by his boyfriend, and pulled his ponytail through the hole in the back. Finally, his phone dinged with a message, and a text long enough that it had to be broken up in three parts came through. Suddenly, he realized why it had taken Jean so long to get back to him: He’d written out a novel!
He quickly scanned over the recipe, still a bit intimidated despite this being an “easy” cake, and typed out a quick thank you to Jean before heading back downstairs so he could get started looking for the rest of what he needed. Unlike the boxed goodies that they’d made previously, this required a lot more ingredients, several of which they didn’t have. Panicked, Cardina sent another text asking if it would be okay not to use some of the stuff, and Jean explained that it could, thankfully, be substituted by a few things he did have on hand.
Cardina read over the beginning of the texts from Jean three times, just to make sure he had down everything that he needed, and got started, putting in as much care as he possibly could to every step, and smiled to himself when he was finished mixing in the wet ingredients. It looked good, if he said so himself, and felt a bit of pride in himself for getting that far in without messing it up.
Next came the dry parts, all of which he had ready in a smaller bowl, which he soon realized was a mistake. Everything went in nice and easy until he got to the flour, which was a lot lighter and dustier than anything else, and he made the mistake of dumping it in all together, which created a giant puff of white, which ended up all over his face, his shirt, and even, to his surprise, in his hair. Coughing, Cardina fanned the flour out of his face, and looked over the next bit of the recipe, which was to put everything in together, and mix it. Easy, he thought.
Seeing as the wet ingredients had the bigger bowl, he decided to dump the dry into it, but the bowl was heavier than he expected, and, once again, he was covered in an even bigger mess, and the wet bowl teetered dangerously on the edge of the counter with the extra weight and the momentum in which everything was dumped in.
Cardina yelped, holding the bowl with his hips as he dumped the rest of the stuff in, then hurriedly set the empty one down and moved the full one back to safety. That was entirely too close, he thought, and, because everything was so full, he decided to hand mix it rather than use the machine.
Twenty minutes, a sore arm, and an egg yolk stain on the front of his shirt later, he put the spoon he was using down, and was digging out the other mixer, wondering if it would be okay to use one beater, seeing as the other wasn’t where it needed to be. He decided it would be better than nothing, and plugged it in, at the last second deciding to put it on the lowest speed possible, which turned out to be the right move, seeing as how fast even that spun everything around.
Somehow, he managed to pull it off, and had a cake mix that looked as perfect as everything he found on the internet. Satisfied, he grabbed one of their cake pans and poured it in, which ended up needing to be split into two with the amount of batter he had left, but he thought that would be fine; that meant more cake for the man he loved more than anything. Cardina quickly scanned over the last bit of Jean’s messages, and decided to set a timer on his phone for when it would be ready, and popped them in the oven once it was ready.
While everything cooked, he cleaned everything up, himself included. He didn’t want to take off the shirt, seeing as it was comfortable and smelled like Marco, so he just brushed it off the best he could and settled for that being good enough. He did up the dishes, swept the floor, and cleaned off the counters, all while listening to his music, feeling happy and lighter than he had in awhile. He loved the idea of being able to do this for the love of his life, to be able to surprise him with nice things like this, and thought maybe, if this went over well, he could start asking Jean for more advice on how to cook things.
He hadn’t been keeping track of time, and only realized that something might be wrong when he began to smell something burning, and panicking a bit, checked the timer to realize that he hadn’t actually hit start. Cardina screamed, quickly shutting the oven off and grabbing the nearest cloths he could find to pull the pans out, cussing quietly to himself when the heat from the metal burned through the dishcloths and burned his fingers. He quickly set them on the counter to cool off, and his heart completely sank when he realized that they were all but ruined. The tops of the cakes looked more like charcoal, or the tops of their brownies than they did a lemon cake, and he sighed, his good mood completely destroyed.
He couldn’t even bring himself to ask Jean for help, he was so humiliated, and just stood there for several moments, looking at the burned mess of a surprise, and tried not to cry. Who was he kidding thinking he could actually pull this off? Cardina looked around at the decorations, and the happiness that they brought him earlier in the day turned to disgust, and suddenly they looked horrible, too close together and junky, and made him feel like he was trying too hard to impress his boyfriend rather than a genuine expression of his love.
Tears filled Cardina’s eyes, and he had half a mind to tear them all down, but when he got up to do it, a little thought stopped him: how touched Marco would be to see it, even if it was a huge disaster. He took a deep breath and looked around at the decorations one more time before deciding to leave them, wondering to himself how he’d been so lucky as to land someone as forgiving and kind as Marco was.
The cakes still bothered him, though. A lot. He left them where they were for the time being, and grudgingly decided to go out and just buy a cake for him instead. It felt like cheating, but he wanted to make sure Marco actually had something edible. So, Cardina bought a blank cake and a tube of icing, deciding to at least do the decorating on it himself.
~
Marco pulled up several hours later, exhausted from a long shift at the restaurant where he and Jean both worked, having worked a double shift to cover for his friend while he spent the day with his new fiance, Armin, and just sat in his car for a moment and tried to relax. He shrugged off his jacket and smock, and decided, just for the night, to leave his work shoes out in his car so he didn’t have to look at them anymore. Barefoot and exhausted, Marco walked up to the house with a paper bag full of food he’d been able to bring home for he and Cardina to share.
He opened the door, not surprised to find it unlocked already, and stepped inside. The first thing he noticed was the giant banner that said happy birthday written out on the wall behind the couch, and his heart lifted the tiniest bit. He was glad to see that at least someone had remembered his birthday after a long day of being bitched at by angry soccer moms on their lunch breaks, and then he realized that the rest of the room was decorated with streamers and even more banners.
“Car?” he called, the tiniest hint of a smile lighting up his face as he hung his keys and smock up on the hook by the door. “Did you decorate all of this?”
Cardina appeared in the doorway, then, and Marco couldn’t help but laugh at him when he saw how much of a mess he looked. His face, despite his best efforts to clean it off, still had flour smudges on it, and he noticed a few white spots in his ponytail that he hadn’t seen that morning, too. His shirt, he realized, was all but ruined, with flour and egg stains covering the front, but he couldn’t bring himself to be too upset with him.
“Hey,” Cardina replied, hurrying up to him and kissing him softly on the cheek. “Happy birthday.”
“Thanks.” Marco grinned, holding up the bag of food. “I brought dinner, in case you haven’t eaten yet. I’m sorry I’m home so late.”
“Don’t be!” Cardina said quickly, taking the bag from him in one hand, and his boyfriend’s hand in the other. “Come with me, we’ll heat this up and celebrate a little while you’re still awake.”
Marco let himself be led through the house to the kitchen, and felt his heart swelling even more when he realized that the whole house had been decorated for the occasion as streamers brushed against the top of his head. “You were busy today.” He commented happily.
“I was.” Cardina grinned, hurrying over to the microwave and pulling out the to-go containers to heat up. “Very, very busy, actually, and I think I deserve a kiss or two for my efforts.” He teased, unable to help himself.
Marco spied the cake sitting on the counter as Cardina spoke, and a huge grin lit up his face at the sight when he read the inscription on it. “I think you’ve earned a bit more than that…” He murmured, popping the lid off the cake and swiping a bit of icing off of the bottom corner, just so he could taste it. “This is good. Where’d you get it from?”
“The little grocery store down the street, I don’t remember the name. The new one.” Cardina replied, peeking back at him and feeling his mood lift the tiniest bit when he noticed how happy Marco looked over his cake. That was something, at least. “Do you like it?”
“I do!” Marco said, part of him wanting to be selfish and skip dinner just so he could tear into the cake and taste it. He still couldn’t believe that Cardina had gone through all of that trouble just for him, and it was touching in a way that he couldn’t describe. “Thank you, you have no idea how much I needed this after today.”
“I think I can guess, based on the look on your face when you were coming up to the house.” Cardina replied, putting the first of the dishes in the microwave before coming back over to sit with him for a moment. “Bad day?”
“No worse than usual,” Marco shrugged, leaning over and giving Cardina a kiss on the cheek. “Just a really rude party at lunch, and a couple different nasty ones during the dinner rush. But it’s okay.”
Cardina scowled hearing that, hating that Marco had to deal with that almost every day, and scooted his chair over closer to him so he could touch him, to comfort him as much as he could. “Screw them. How was it aside from that?”
Marco thought about that for a moment, not wanting to keep complaining about his day, and smiled a little when he realized that something good did happen. “It was worth taking the double shift.” He explained. “I guess Armin asked Jean to marry him tonight.”
“Really?” Cardina smiled, feeling a small wave of happiness wash over him for their friends, making a note to text them both in the morning to say congratulations, and ran his hand comfortingly over Marco’s back. “Good for them.”
“Yeah, I was relieved when Jean messaged me. It’s been too long co-” Marco broke off, then, his face scrunching up in confusion when he spotted their two cake pans half hidden behind a loaf of bread. “Car, what’s that?” He asked, pointing.
Cardina’s heart sank again when he realized that Marco had seen his failure, and with a sad sigh, went over to get the pans. “I tried to make you a cake this morning.” He explained. “But I think I’m just going to have to accept the fact that cooking isn’t what I’m best at.”
Marco’s heart swelled with even more love for his boyfriend when he heard that, and got up to stand with him, slipping his arms around him from behind and pressing a kiss to the back of his shoulder as he looked over the cakes. “What kind is it? Chocolate? It looks good.”
Cardina winced a bit when Marco said that, and shrank into himself some. “It… was supposed to be lemon. Your favorite.”
“Cardina…” Marco murmured, touched that he remembered that little detail, and squeezed him tight around the middle before pulling back and going to grab a knife from the drawer. He grabbed one of the pans and began to cut the cake out, much to Cardina’s dismay. He ignored his pleas for a moment and cut the top layer off, smiling a bit to himself when he saw the cake underneath the burn was still perfectly edible. “Well, look at that!” He smiled, his gaze flickering to the other man. “My boyfriend was sweet enough to bake me a perfectly edible cake for my birthday!”
Cardina’s lip wobbled a little when he heard that, and met Marco’s eyes for a second before the tears started to form, and he tried desperately to blink them back. He really had no idea how lucky he was to have someone as positive as Marco, and the fact that he’d even thought about trying to salvage the cake was making him more emotional than he could believe.
“Do you have any frosting for these?” Marco asked, fixing up the other cake as well.
“No, I… didn’t get that far. I saw they were ruined and completely gave up.”
Marco thought for a second before pulling out his phone, tapping around on it for a second before he found a good recipe for homemade frosting, and showed it to Cardina. “Want to make some?” He asked, smiling at him encouragingly.
With a little smile of his own, Cardina nodded, and while Marco got everything together, he went to get his plate out of the microwave so Marco could eat while they got started, and put his own in to get cooking. Once it was in, he grabbed his phone and put on the same playlist as before, hoping to improve both of their moods some while they got ready.
Marco grabbed himself a fork from the drawer and took a bite of food while he read over the recipe, nodding to himself and thinking that it would be fairly easy for them to do if they did it together. He smiled even more when he realized what song was playing, and shot a loving look towards Cardina, incredibly grateful for him and thinking he was so lucky to have such a thoughtful partner to spend the rest of his life with. “Hey, Car?” He started as the blonde made his way over to him.
Cardina slipped his arms around Marco’s waist and kissed him softly on the cheek. “What’s up?”
“I love you.” Marco said honestly, looking over at him again and feeling his heart swelling with affection. “I really, really love you, you know that, right?”
Hearing those three little words coming from Marco, even though they’d both exchanged them thousands of times over the last year, never, ever failed to send butterflies swarming in Cardina’s stomach, and he squeezed Marco a bit tighter around the middle when he heard them to confirm that he knew. “I love you, too, Mar.” He breathed, kissing him on the side of the head. “I really, really love you, too.”
“Good. As long as you know.” Marco grinned, leaning into the other man’s embrace for a few seconds before getting started on making up the frosting for them.
Cardina watched as Marco took control of the kitchen, providing support where he could, and found himself beyond grateful for Marco Bodt, for being such a generous, loving person, who genuinely appreciated a failed effort at making his birthday something special. He smiled, watching as he moved around the kitchen, humming along to the music and smiling hugely whenever their eyes met, and thought that, maybe, it hadn’t been such a bad attempt after all.
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