#i spent forever choosing the font to put it in because FONT CHOICE MATTERS

[vbs-kaitos-big-naturals]

hey i wrote translyrics for the song Konton Boogie by jon-YAKITORY so uh here this is sort of weird lol

[join-the-joywrite]

Hamish & Vera soulmate au headcannons

Here's another first words au, but with some key elements suggested by a literal ball of sunshine and a source of incredible joy for me

So anyway, I spent a ridiculous amount of time thinking about this one and whether to do it as a non-magic/knight au or stick somewhat to cannon before finally coming to a decision -- and I'm not even sure it was a good decision sksnsjwn. Geronimo!

You're born with a tattoo on your arm, the first words your soulmate says to you.

Vera's born with her arm bare. After searching the rest of her, the midwife confirmed that no, the baby girl has no markings at all, no shrunken words that will grow to readable when she grows, no hidden words tattooed where everyone else's wasn't. It was believed that perhaps her soulmate hadn't been born as yet. That happened, right? Soulmates could change, right? It didn't mean she'd be alone for the rest of her life, right?

Vera grew up with the lack of a soulmate being a key factor to how people saw her. Other kids didn't bother with her because who wants to be friends with the girl who doesn't even have a soulmate? Vera hardens up from a very young age, pissed at everyone around her for trying to dictate her life and her choices around a stupid tattoo.

So what if she didn't have a single word etched on her body? It wasn't going to stop her from living a full and happy life. Vera's happy little life is shattered the day she tells her boyfriend she's pregnant and she never hears from him again.

But that's okay. It's not like he was her soulmate, the one person who was supposed to be with her no matter what. It's okay. She'll be fine. She'll manage.

Vera's very last bits of positivity and hope dies with her daughter. The world sucks and everyhting in it sucks worse. Bitterness starts to grow, from being born with her skin bare to realising that she was going to have to look out for herself always. Alone.

If she can't have people and love in her life, she's going to have a name and money. So she goes after it like a moth to a flame. She throws everything that she is into her studies, makes sure she gets all the right grades. She studies people, too. She knows when to smile, when to laugh, when to tear up. She knows what to do to get reactions she wants.

Vera learns how to dominate a conversation and she knows how to always seem like the most intelligent person in the room. She's yet to meet anyone who sees through her pretty lies.

Hamish is young. He's planned to get into law and he's convinced he's going to be the best out there. The only thing he's not certain about is the fact that the words on his wrist reads "oh shit-fuck you're sorry I'm hot"

He's hoping it's a misunderstanding of some kind.

It's his second or third month on campus and he's walking with his nose in a textbook when he collides with another book-sniffer, only Hamish meets the ground and decides to lay there for a minute.

The girl he bumped into quickly starts mumbling curses to herself as she gathers up her book, then his. "Oh, shit-fuck," she says when she realises he's still laying on the floor. He squints in the sunlight. "You're sorry, I'm hot."

There is a brief pause. "I mean! I'm sorry, you're hot! Wait, that's not much better."

Hamish laughs. "That -- that makes a lot of sense."

"Wut?"

Hamish accepts her hand up and shows her his wrist. She gets excited when she realises it. She starts talking about how she's wondered for so long what the hell could've possibly been said to warrant the words on her wrist.

A minute and a half later she realises she hasn't actually introduced herself yet.

It's a few months later, maybe four or five, when Hamish visits Cassie at the den instead of the usual places -- the bar, the grounds, his apartment, her dorm, even a few classes. The guy she's staying with, Nico, introduces himself as Cassie's brother.

"I didn't know you had a brother." "I don't. He just drinks my beer and passes out somewhere in here. Anyway, Nico, this is Hamish."

"So, you're the little shit that's got all my sister's attention." "I would hope so."

Nico takes to Hamish immediately. He thinks Hamish is hilarious and a really great person. Nico pressures Cassie into telling Hamish about the Knights. Eventually, she chooses to listen and the two of them take Hamish down to the hide locker.

"There's three hides in there. Silverback, Tundra, and Greybeard. Good luck."

Tundra's the one that chooses Hamish and it just feels so wonderful to have a family -- a pack.

Nico is the first to die. Cassie is devastated. Even Hamish, who'd only known Nico a month, maybe two at best, is struck hard by it. Nico goes out protecting the pack -- as Midnight often does.

For a long time, it's just Cassie and Hamish. The den gets really quiet and on those days, they sit just as quiet, lost in their thoughts. Cassie rarely ever speaks to anyone but Hamish. He's the only person that could even begin to understand how she feels about losing Nico. Despite all her talk, she loved him as one loves family.

It's almost a year later when Hamish becomes the only Knight.

Hamish stops talking. He never asks questions in class anymore. He never answers any either. Cassie was his whole world. He loved her more than anything or anyone in his life. He should have been there. But she'd wanted to go alone. She said she could handle it. She couldn't and Hamish sat alone, toasting to Cassie's life by himself as he looked at the lockers.

Do you know that feeling when you're just so fucking hurt and sad, that even opening your mouth to breathe is exhausting? It takes so much energy to speak. Why even speak? Who's going to listen? Do you know that hollow feeling after you've cried for what feels like hours? That emptiness that follows when you realise that what you had is truly gone and you are never going to get it back?

Hamish hasn't felt any different since Cassie died.

Hamish doesn't look at his wrist anymore. He's certain by now the words have faded. He can't look because looking means he'll see the blank wrist and seeing his blank wrist means Cassie is really truly gone.

Hamish drops out of law school and picks up something else. Something that requires less talking. Somewhen along the line, a TA position for a lecturer of his opens up. Hamish ignores it.

Hamish has been at Belgrave for three years and Vera for seven when they finally collide. Literally. Hamish recognises her. She's some super smart final year student or something. He's pretty sure she's trying to take over the university and he's pretty sure no one's going to get in the way trying to stop her.

He means to apologise but like every other opportunity he's faced with, the words don't make it past his throat.

"Fuck this bullshit," Vera says to herself before deciding she wants to relax on the grass for just a moment. The busy life can wait a while. She glances at the tower of a man. "Don't make me look like an idiot, get down here."

Hamish doesn't know why he sits. But when he does, he realises it's quite peaceful.

"You're not much of a talker, are you?" Hamish shakes his head. "Can't or won't?"

Hamish opens his mouth slightly, inhales, then closes his mouth. He turns his head the other way.

"Won't, I see. That's fine. Some quiet is welcome."

They lay on the grass for a few minutes, avoiding the sun in the shade of a large tree. The grass is soft, the air is light, the shade is cool. For the first time in what feels like forever, both of them feel peaceful.

"This is nice." Hamish nods. "I'd love to do it again. Here." Hamish frowns at the phone she hands him. "Put your number in. Even if you won't talk, I'm sure you can text, right?"

Hamish nods slowly.

Three days later, he gets a message: I need to rest but there are too many other students and I don't want to look like a lonely loser. Followed by a location link.

They lay on the grass until Hamish has to go to class.

Hamish doesn't visit the bar anymore because he can't go in there without seeing Cassie and Nico. Both are equally bad. He didn't deserve Nico's sacrifice. He was supposed to look after Cassie for Nico. Vera doesn't visit the bar because there are too many people in there and she'd really rather not get distracted by another breathing thing.

But she goes to the library and there's Hamish, sitting alone, head in a book. Vera takes the books she needs and sits across him. She doesn't say thing. She doesn't need to. Hamish usually drowns out the sounds in the library, but theres something soothing about the rhythmic clacking of the keys on Vera's laptop and the odd turn of a page when she pays attention to the book beside it.

It's almost thirty minutes later when she nudges his foot under the table and turns the laptop to him. In a bright pink font at the top of her essay is: Check for me, please?

Hamish can't help the small grin of amusement as he sets his book down and pulls the laptop towards him. Vera reaches over and pages through Hamish's book, making sure not to loose his bookmark.

They do this often. So often, that they've learnt each other's schedules without even realising. Sometimes Vera will go to that spot under the tree and pull out her phone to text Hamish, only to already see him approaching. Sometimes Hamish walls into the library wondering if perhaps, he should send Vera a message, but she's already there, working on some assignment or something with a deep frown on her face that vanishes when he sits down.

Hamish is walking Vera to class one day and she says, "You know, for a guy who doesn't talk, you sure find a way to say a lot of things." Hamish is confused because he's literally never said a single word to her. "Ex-girlfriend?" she asks, pointing to Cassie's favourite ring on a chain around his neck. Nico had given it to her for her birthday but he'd got it a size too small so she wore it on a chain. Hamish looks away. Vera studies him. ".... dead . . . girlfriend?"

Hamish nods very slowly.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Hey, have you ever been to a PR Management class? You'll like the lecturer. Come on."

The next time Vera is walking him to his class, he pauses before the door, holding a hand out to her. "Psychology 212, why not?" Vera spends the entire lesson drawing flowers on the back of Hamish's hand.

It's that night, when he's sitting at the den, that he looks at his hand. The flowers are already fading away, but they're so pretty. For the first time in years, he turns his arm over. He kind of hopes to see his wrist blank, because he's starting to really like Vera and he doesn't want to stay hung up on Cassie. It wouldn't be fair to Vera.

His wrist isn't blank. Instead, clear as day, the ink reads: Don't make me look like an idiot, get down here

Hamish's phone rings. Had Vera's name not been flashing, he wouldn't have answered.

"I know you won't say anything but I need someone to talk to. Someone who'll listen." And then Vera tells him about her day. Even if he did plan to respond, Vera didn't even pause for a breather. She tells him about this stupid professor that was hitting on her and she tells him how she thought about kicking him in the nuts but the classroom still had a few other students and she didn't want to gain a violent reputation. She tells him about how she went to the library to study but some fucker stole her desk. She tells him all sorts of trivial things. And then she starts. She's tired. She's exhausted. Not to mention, being in the Order is hard work and that's the one thing she's not going to tell Hamish about. She doesn't want that sweet innocent boy tangled up in the Order's drama and danger. But she tells him how everything else is weighing on her and she's set impossibly high standards for herself and people expect her to meet them and she's just tired. "I'm going to send you an address. Please come."

When Hamish ultimately decides to go, he isn't sure what to expect, but it certainly isn't five boxes of pizza, four two-litre bottles of soda, two wine bottles, and a list of three movies to choose from.

"I'm breaking up with my degree" Vera says when she answers the door. Hamish nods. Yeah, he can see that. Hamish doesn't think he's ever seen Vera in sweats and with her hair untidy. "You gonna help me eat all this or stand in the doorway forever?"

They end up watching all three movies. Vera says she'll clean up when the sun comes up. She burrows into her blanket and curls up against Hamish. "As far as first dates go, this was kinda nice."

Everything gets easier. They know where to find each other. Vera's even learnt to speak Hamish. She says she's naming the language after him because no one else can speak with the strange gestures and eye movements. Hamish thinks she's adorable.

In the second semester, they share a class. Hamish is taking it for the degree he's currently doing and Vera's taking it for credits and because Hamish is. They cheated on almost that entire exam because no one realised they were communicating.

It's a quiet day on Vera's couch when Hamish shows her his wrist. "Isn't that what I said when. . ."

Vera shows him her bare wrist. He kisses her forehead and pulls her close. She smiles. It doesn't bother him.

She tells him about her daughter one day. She doesn't even need him to say anything. Just knowing that he's still sitting with her, still holding on to her, is enough.

They're watching some movie. Well, neither of them are actually watching it. Hamish has Vera in his lap, his chin on her shoulder. Both are watching Vera's thumb make small circles on her bare wrist. Hamish kisses her cheek. The first words out his mouth since Cassie are a soft whisper against Vera's ear. "I love you."

And Vera watches the words ink themselves into her wrist, clear as day. It wasn't that she didn't have a soulmate. It was just that hers didn't speak. Until now. She turns halfway to kiss him. "I love you, too."

And we're going to stop there because the next bit is cannon territory and we all know I'll probably handle that with angst :)

Part 2

@gingersimasnapsandvermishthings I kinda got u sis

See the other soulmate aus that kept me awake at night until I wrote them down

[jumphq]

A New Year, Part Three

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When we sat down to the band meeting on January 2nd, I knew for the most part what we were going to be discussing, and was excited about getting to it. 

It felt a little like we were hiring each other for new jobs. Vance the Manager had the year planned out; at the meeting he was organized, concise, realistic. He had a manilla folder full of notes, and on the name tab of that folder was written “Chapter Two”.

It does feel like a new chapter, for us. It feels familiar, but very different. I think we’re all smarter than we were ten years ago. I think we care more; I think that we want to be a bigger part of what makes a band a business, and share what we’ve learned in the past decade, and do things more efficiently and intelligently. I’m not about to break into corporate-speak here, but…it’s not always sexy, you know, being in a rock and roll band. It can be sexier than some other jobs, but as soon as you leave the “just playing at the local bar for fun” phase, it’s a business. We were very happy in 2005 to give it a good, long, break. 

However, it is not lost on us that this “Chapter Two” that is happening is rare, special, seemingly meant to be, and we would all be stupid if we didn’t see where it leads. 

So where does it lead? I asked that question half a year ago, and didn’t have many answers. I have more, now. We are going to create something new, and we want to then be able to put that thing out and see how the world has changed. We know that you care, but what about people that didn’t know us 10 years ago? Maybe we can find them, too? I’ve heard a lot over the years that this band was “around at the wrong time”. I’m not sure that I agree, but I understand the sentiment. We became a band just after radio died, just before social media became something you could harness, we lived between the death of grunge and the (re)birth of boy/girl bands and rap-rock. Bands like the Decemberists and Mumford and Sons and even the Avetts didn’t flourish until after we started our hiatus. I could see how it would seem like we “missed the boat” by taking a break in 2005.

Would it have made a difference to have started earlier or later? I don’t know, and I don’t think that it matters, to any of us. Moving on. Jump’s first chapter was important to the story, had great character development and strong plot choices. But now we have the chance to start writing on a blank page. Once we started leaving the feeling of being a “reunion band” behind, there was only one other option: to start writing the story where we left off. 

This means we spend the next three months writing songs. Then we’re going to go into a studio with someone we know and trust, do some pre-production work (choose songs, re-configure parts, maybe write more things and decide how they’ll sound). The songs we write have to mean something to us - that was the only stipulation we have. I know that sounds obvious, but it isn’t always (says that guy that seems to only write songs about sex). The songs won’t sound like “old Jump”, and they won’t not sound like “old Jump”. They will sound like us, and we’ll just have to wait to see what that sounds like.

Speaking of old Jump, and to those that have been asking, we probably won’t go through archives and record songs written ten years ago. We know that you would love to hear some of them officially recorded. We’d love to hear some of them officially recorded, too. But please understand that the goal this year is to create new things. Thank you. 

We write. Then we record, and have fun doing so. Mix, master, and send it out. We chose PledgeMusic for crowdfunding because Jay and Vance had used it before and they seem to be a classy operation. We like the fact that they have the ability to distribute the album digitally, when it’s ready. One of the nicest changes in the past decade to the music industry is the resources independent bands have at their disposal. Startups now handle most aspects of what a label is supposed to do for you. You can truly be your own label, by both name and function. 

We will see if anyone is interested in putting these songs on TV/movie soundtracks. We’ll see if radio (whatever that is, nowadays) will play us. We live in a non-denominational world of lots of interesting sounds from all kinds of musicians that find homes in playlists. We would love to be part of many of those playlists. 

Then we tour! Which is exciting for everyone. We’re going back to the Southeast. We’re going to the Northeast. We’re dipping a little bit into the Midwest. And that’s probably where the money (and the interest from venues) will run out. But it’s a very exciting start. We have some really exciting ideas for the end of the year, too. I don’t want to talk about them before we know if it’ll all work, but I’ll just say that 1. we miss the days of doing Acoustic Tours in December and 2. Jay’s orchestrations of our songs need to be heard as often as possible.

That’s a full-ass year, y’all. As I’m writing this, I am aware that this winter is kind of going to be the quietest, most “normal” part of our year. Vance is busy booking dates and other admin stuff, Jay is writing songs full-time, Evan and I are handling design/PR/media and, well, writing blog entries. Johnny and Ward are cheering everyone on, ready to tag in when needed. There will be so many unknown elements to this year. How high with the PledgeMusic campaign go? What will happen when the album is released? Could this be our living, as well as our creative outlet? Time will tell. 

I wrote a couple of years ago that we didn’t want this to be our full-time job any more. I still mean that. I don’t want to back to the way things were before, in Jump’s “first chapter”. Forever on the road, forever penniless, forever fighting record labels for respect, forever worrying about what would happen if the band stopped. Yes, I had something in my life that I was 100% passionate about. I was surrounded by brothers. I got to perform for a living, to be a full-time artist, to see the world, to meet so many amazing people. But the other parts - the parts that have so little to do with all of that - were a drag.

We’re not going to let those parts drag us down again. We’re in control, this time. We don’t need a record label, because we have you. We don’t need this band to be our life, because we already have lives that we love. But…we love this band. Always have. Can you imagine how freeing it is to be allowed to do something that you love doing, again, but this time without a huge bunch of bullshit attached? Where the only goal is to make sure that what you are doing is real, and honest, and meaningful, and fun? 

Yep. It feels pretty great. And we know that if it stops being any of the above things, we can walk away, again, no hard feelings, no big deal. But even if we do walk away, it will have been worth it. We will have learned new things, spent time with people we love, written another chapter in this…book. 

Whew. That’s me, Cheesy McCheezins. You are used to it, and you know what I’m saying. It’s on, people. It’s fucking exciting. A new year! Let’s go!