#i spent a very long time syncing those lyrics please appreciate them

[slugpup2]

still feeling sick, here's a vid of all the covers of pass on (as of now) playing at the same time i made a while ago

[iristhemessenger]

Just for a moment, dance with me?

My very first Wayhaven fic, in the spirit of sharing more F content! <3

Pairing: Felix Hauville/f.Detective (Eris Evergreen)

Summary: Eris' life has been anything but simple these days, her thoughts heavy with the safety of her town and the bloodthirsty monster who threatens them all. She just needs a moment, one blissful moment to take her mind off of it all and Felix may be just the person to help her out. After all, how can she say 'no' to that charming smile?

The song "Cheerleader" of course belongs to Omi, and is a personal favorite for those days when you just feel like dancing to something with a little bop. ^-^

                                                             ~ * ~

“When I need motivation

My one solution is my queen

'Cause she stay strong (yeah yeah)

She is always in my corner

Right there when I want her

All these other girls are tempting

But I'm empty when you're gone

And they say

Do you need me?

Do you think I'm pretty?

Do I make you feel like cheating?

And I'm like no, not really 'cause

Oh I think that I found myself a cheerleader

She is always right there when I need her”

For such a small town where barely anything happens, Eris will never understand how she still manages to find a towering stack of paperwork and reports on her desk nearly every morning, demanding her attention as she eyes the pile wearily. It has been a quiet day, all things considered, giving her more than ample time to make a good dent in said paperwork.

Most of them are small things, little complaints lodged by bickering neighbors or elder members of the community expressing their displeasure with the local youth who wander the streets, playing their music too loud or generally just standing around and being a nuisance.

She is not sure how many times she’s had to explain to Mrs. Henderson, one of Wayhaven’s regular complainants, that young Micky Roads and his small group of friends were not part of some drug-peddling gang, merely enthusiastic beat-boxers who preferred to share their music with the rest of the town than in the confines of his mother's basement.

Still, she should be thankful that such petty grievances are her only worries these days. What with Murphy running around still free, a part of her had been anxiously waiting for the phone at the station to ring yet again, signalling another death at the crazed vampire’s hands. Yet another life she had failed to protect, just like Garret Hayes.

She knows there's nothing she could have done in the grand scheme of things, but that only alleviated her guilt by a small margin. She was supposed to protect the innocent, supposed to be someone they could turn to in their time of fear and need but this...with Murphy, her blood, her mother, Unit Bravo and the Agency. It was all too much, and so out of her realm of control and understanding.

How was she supposed to prepare her town, her people, for such chaos without causing wide-spread panic among the residents of Wayhaven. If they even believed her at all, that was.

She wouldn’t blame them if they called her batty, no pun intended, this wasn’t exactly the kind of thing she expected to be dealing with when she took on the title of detective for the town. The police academy didn’t exactly train one for handling bloodthirsty, serial killing supernaturals.

She was tempted to write them a letter, to correct that particular oversight.

Not that it would do much good, she knew her mother would only destroy any such evidence against the Agency through her, she was guessing at this point, numerous contacts in order to maintain the secrecy of their shadow agency and dealings with the supernatural.

“Good morning, detective!” A familiar, jovial voice calls out, breaking the silence and her own morose thoughts.

Looking up from her desk, Eris can't help the smile that almost involuntary spreads across her face upon seeing her guest. It’s nothing compared to the dazzling smile that greets her in return as Felix saunters into her office. Eyes so intent on her she fidgets in her chair a little, unused to such undivided attention.

“It’s my turn to escort you home this fine evening.” He explains, giving her a once over that has goosebumps prickling over her skin under his appreciative gaze. “Though, admittedly, you are much finer.”

“Oh?” She raises an eyebrow, confused. “Not that I am complaining, but I thought it was Mason’s turn to take me home tonight?”

It had become the new norm at this point, the members of Unit Bravo taking turns escorting or babysitting her throughout the day while the others patrolled the town and surrounding area for Murphy.

She had already spent a delightful morning with Adam.

Sarcasm heavy on the 'delightful' as the leader of the vampiric agents had made no attempt to hide his annoyance when she'd insisted on a small outing from the station to Haley's bakery, for her regular morning caramel macchiato and blueberry scone. Citing the venture as 'inadvisable' and 'ridiculously foolhardy' when the station already had a (semi) working coffee machine in the break room.

The fact that it made coffee that looked and tasted like tar was, of course, of no concern to him.

Seeing Felix after an entire morning of that, and a few more mysteriously dented filing cabinets and a now unusable soap dispenser in the men's room, was honestly a breath of fresh air.

Nothing against Mason, who she suspected was finally beginning to warm up to her (he’d even begun to put out his cigarettes during their car rides back to her home, knowing how much she disliked the smell) but she found that she enjoyed spending time with Felix.

The younger vampire’s mere presence seemed to set her at ease, in a way she couldn’t quite explain. Whether it was his constant string of jokes, as strange as they could be sometimes, or his boundless optimism, whatever it was she sorely needed that right now.

“Ah, well…” He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, unwilling to admit that Mason had only agreed to switch their shifts because he had all but begged the older vampire until he’d grown fed up with his nagging. “Adam decided to take him out to patrol the warehouse district again for signs of Murphy or a potential hideout. So, you get me for the afternoon instead, if that's ok by you?”

There's a slight hint of uncertainty at the end of his usually confident southern drawl, one he hopes she doesn't catch into.

"Of course it is!" She nods, and he is happy to see her smile, genuine and honest, still in place. Not to mention he'd noted the slight jump in her pulse and heartbeat when he’d announced himself earlier, making his own grin widen. "I always enjoy your company."

"Careful detective, keep buttering me up with sweet words and I'll never want to leave you alone." He teases, with a wink for good measure.

"Oh, heavens forbid." She teases back without missing a beat, shuffling some papers on her desk. "How would I ever manage?"

Felix is practically beaming now down at her, basking in their easy banter. He enjoys these stolen moments with the detective, who was infinitely more fun than patrol duty. Even if at some point he knew they would eventually have to part ways, he would take what he could get. He wanted to savor the time with Eris while he could, and if she were amenable to his flirting and interest, even after discovering their true nature, then he sure as hell wasn’t going to turn her away.

“I’m almost done with these reports” She sighs, “just waiting on some paperwork from Tina and we’ll be good to go if that sounds ok?”

He watches her as she stretches her arms high above her head, in an attempt to ease the stiffness that has made its way through her body. Her back arches in the chair, chest lifting forward, revealing every soft, and ample curve beneath her light blue t-shirt. The young vampire licks his top lip.

“More than ok, excellent even.”

His voice is smoother than silk when he answers, and she swears something breaks within her at the sound of it, leaving her flustered as she catches his eye. She clears her throat, sinking back into her chair.

"Alright then, good...that's...good."

Without another word, but his usual, cocky grin now firmly plastered on his face at a job well done, the agent makes himself comfortable. Draping his body across what has now become his usual chair in her office, feet in the air he crosses his arms across his chest and settles in.

As uncomfortable as the chair itself was, as he often complained, for some reason he continued to stake his claim, flopping into that particular chair every chance he got.

The fact that it was close to her desk, giving them both a clear view of the other, was a nice side benefit to be sure.

It's not long before the quiet she'd found herself in before returns, as Felix does his best not to disturb her. She appreciates his effort, though she can tell it is a trying endeavor as she catches his feet twitching.

In an attempt to alleviate his boredom, she turns on her radio. It's already tuned in to her favorite station, and soon the office is filled with music and she can't help but smile softly as a pleased grin spreads across the vampire's shapely mouth.

Felix, for his part, is grateful to find the station plays modern, up to date songs. Not that he didn’t like the music Nate often played, per say, but it did lack a certain energy to it that Felix craved.

Keeping a not-so-subtle eye on the detective, he is happy to see she seems to be of the same mindset. While looking over a few documents, she unconsciously begins to bob her head to the catchy, upbeat rhythm of a song Felix knows well.

To his extreme delight, he even sees her begin to follow the words, perfectly lip-syncing every lyric as she continues to follow the beat.

He watches her lips as they move, soft, pink, a little chapped and bare of any lipstick or gloss. Aside from the barest hint of eyeliner and complimentary eye shadow, he notes she doesn’t wear much make-up. Preferring a more natural look, which suits her well he thinks.

Felix soaks it all in, this moment with her. Unguarded, relaxed, being here with Eris. It felt, so natural and right. He’d never felt like this before with another person, aside from his teammates. He wants to keep it, keep her, but he does his best from getting too excited, just in case.

She’s been very receptive to his flirting, albeit a tad shy which he found adorable, allowing him to savour the growing attraction between them. But, he couldn't help but wonder. What about something…more?

He’s brought out of his own thoughts when her eyes, dark blue like sapphires, catch his. She instantly straightens, brushing a strand of long, black hair behind her ear and clears her throat.

“I, uh, I really like this song...” She admits biting her bottom lip, embarrassed at having been caught.

Felix only smiles, loving the soft blush that blossoms over her fair skin as her pulse quickens.

“You have excellent taste,” His eyes sparkle impishly. “This is one of my favorites too! I wonder what else we have in common, we should definitely take the time to find out...”

He practically purrs the last part, and she can’t help but laugh nervously at how easily he manages to fluster her.

“Back in college I used to be a member of this dance team, and this song was a part of one of our regular routines...” She confesses, voice trailing off as she realizes what she's just said.

Gods, why was she telling him this?! It wasn’t something she advertised, exactly. Though, there had been the occasional incident where Verda or Tina had walked in on her jamming out in her office in an attempt to blow off steam after a particularly nasty meeting with the mayor or a run-in with Bobby.

To her surprise, instead of laughing at her like she expected, Felix jumps out of his chair so suddenly she barely sees him before he is leaning excitedly over her desk. His face is so close to her own, she nearly falls backwards, chair and all at the sudden proximity.

“Show me?!” His excitement is hard to deny, and she finds herself smiling at his enthusiasm.

“S-show you? Like, now, here in the office?” She repeats, receiving a vigorous nod in return.

“Yeah, it’ll be much more fun than just waiting around for those reports. Besides, you can’t not show me after letting that juicy bit of information slip just now.”

He can’t be serious, she thinks, but looking into those earnest eyes, so open and honest, she knows there’s no way he isn’t. They’ve spent enough time together at this point for her to get a sense of the young vampire’s exuberant nature, and, lacking anything else of immense interest to distract him, she knows there’s no getting out of this without refusing him flat out.

The very notion of telling him ‘no’ and potentially losing that bright smile of his doesn’t exactly sit well with her either, for reasons she doesn’t care to dwell on. So, sighing dramatically, she reluctantly gets out of her chair.

“Ok, ok…it’s been awhile so bear with me.” She says, moving to the middle of the room.

Shaking her arms and legs a bit, Eris takes a few steadying breathes in an attempt to quell her nerves. A difficult task considering she is now the focus of Felix’s attention, those amber eyes of his trained solely on her.

She has to think on it a bit, moving her feet and arms in various motions and poses before the movements become familiar again and, smiling like a fool, she is able to recall the entire routine from muscle memory until she is gliding and bopping across the floor of her office like she used to during her college days.

For a single, blissful moment, she forgets where she is. Caught in the nostalgia of her memories and the music.

Simpler, happier times when the world made sense. Before everything turned upside down, before poor Janet and Garret's deaths. Before her mother and Unit Bravo came crashing into her town, and life. Before she found herself being hunted down by a psychopathic vampire for a mutation within her blood she never knew she had before a few days ago.

Just dancing, in the quad with her former classmates and friends. Laughing, letting all their worries melt away as they practiced their routines. Improvising along the way, goofing off and having a good time despite the pressures of upcoming exams and troublesome boyfriends or girlfriends.

Felix watches her the entire time, absorbing the routine with such an immersed focus she can’t help but feel the heat creeping up along her neck to the tips of her ears. Especially when his eyes seem to stray to her swaying hips, his interest blatant and intense.

Swallowing hard, she comes to an abrupt stop and laughs awkwardly. Staring at the floor, with it’s uninteresting color palette. “Welp, yeah…that’s it!"

I’ll just go die of embarrassment now , she groans internally as she turns back to her desk.

“No, wait!” He stops her, reaching out to catch her by her arm. She shivers. The touch of his hand on her bare skin sends a pleasant warmth throughout her body, traveling all the way down to her toes. It's not dissimilar to the same feeling she'd experienced the day they'd gone to Kate's, when he'd ventured to touch her before getting back into her poor, beat up hatchback.

He feels it too, staring down at where his hand grasps her forearm. His smile softens, and he takes the moment to brush his thumb along her skin. As if relishing the touch and the sensations it gives them both, and she relaxes into the touch. “I really liked it, your dance. I think I got the moves down, let me try it with you, please?”

She only hesitates a moment as she considers, before nodding. He releases her, though he appears reluctant to do so. To her own surprise, she also feels a pang of regret at the loss of contact.

Grabbing her phone from her desk, she opens up her playlists on her music app. It doesn't take her long to find the song she's looking for, despite the numerous playlists she has collected over the years.

Music had always been therapeutic for her, a means of escaping or dealing with the world in the absence of her mother. Dancing was an extension of that, a fun hobby that had helped her work off stress and gain a few friends along the way.

And now, here in her office, during what had to be the most chaotic time of her life, she was able to share it with Felix. Grinning at the thought, she positions her phone upright before pressing play. The same song from the radio begins anew, and she returns to her position in the center of the room.

This time, Felix happily sidles up next to her, so eager she can practically feel him vibrating with barely contained excitement. She’s never met anyone with so much raw energy before, and she’s sure not even Tina could match him in sheer vivacity.

As they begin the routine, Eris can't help but think he would have made an excellent addition to her former dance team. In more ways than one, she decides after they run through the steps a few times. He's a quick learner, following her lead, and perfectly imitating every movement..

Surprisingly, it’s not long before they fall into an easy groove. Their timing, uncertain and new at first, quickly becomes almost second nature by the time they all but perfect the routine and soon they find themselves laughing and smiling as they lose themselves to the rhythm. Felix is a natural performer, his movements graceful yet laced with his usual cheer and vibrance, as they dance to the hip-hop tempo of the song.

“She walks like a model

She grants my wishes like a genie in a bottle (yeah yeah)

'Cause I'm the wizard of love

And I got the magic wand

All these other girls are tempting

But I'm empty when you're gone

And they say

Do you need me?

Do you think I'm pretty?

Do I make you feel like cheating?

And I'm like no, not really 'cause

Oh I think that I found myself a cheerleader

She is always right there when I need her”

Eris can only imagine how they would look to the rest of the station, if Tina or Verda, or god-forbid Douglas, walked in on them at that moment. There would be no end to the heckling she’d endure, that was for sure but for now it didn’t matter. They were carefree and safe behind these four walls, away from the troubles that haunted her outside of the sanctuary of her office.

The song eventually ends, but her playlist goes on, queuing up the next song in her library. It's another dance hit, one she recalls often being played in the local bars and dance halls that she and her friends would frequent. Dancing long into the night, until they were a merry band of sweaty limbs and clothes, high off the adrenaline and fruity cocktails plied by the bartenders and eager would-be paramours.

“Ah, hell yeah!” Felix laughs, “this is another good one! Your playlist is fire, detective.”

Without pause, they throw themselves into the new song, adding their own unique bit of flair here and there as they dance.

“Any cool routines go with this one?”

She shakes her head as she shimmies and rolls her hips playfully around the vampire, who watches her closely. “Nope! Completely freestyle, think you can handle that?”

“Oh, I can more than handle…” He promises, rolling his lips suggestively. He beckons her, wagging his finger in a come-hither gesture. “Show me what you got, detective?”

She laughs, mirth bubbling over.

For the first time since all of this mess started she feels light, her natural endorphins kicking in and setting her at ease.

When the moment presents itself, Felix takes the opportunity to take her by the hand. Twirling her here and there, bringing her closer as her back falls against his chest before whipping her away once again. He's quick on his feet, and thanks to her years of experience, dancing with numerous partners Eris finds herself able to match and meet his pace with little trouble as the two moved in tandem.

Soon enough, they find themselves swaying together. It’s the closest she’s ever been, physically, to the younger agent by themselves. A fact that Felix seems to pick up on as well, though he feels very little inclination to resume any distance between them. If anything, he takes advantage of the moment, eyes eagerly seeking her’s as he dares to rest his hand on her waist.

The touch sends an instant jolt up her spine, but she doesn't push him away. Instead, she melts into him, meeting his gaze and welcoming the heat that has been building between them.

She’ll never get over how beautiful his eyes are. Like gemstones, sparkling gold and striking. She could lose herself in them forever. It’s amazing how easily they fall into each other, as if they’d been dancing together for years.

“This kind of music and dancing is definitely more my speed, not like the fancy ballroom dancing Nate likes. Though, he is really good at it.” Felix breaks the tension, laughing lightly. “He did teach me a few fun moves too.”

She barely hears him, but smiles and nods anyways. The blood pumps loudly in her ears, heart racing as she feels the sweat begin to drip down her temple. It’s been awhile since she went this hard. Usually, even her most energetic dance sessions were within the safe confines of her apartment. Felix, frustratingly, looks unperturbed by all their physical exertion. Yet another vampire perk, she guessed.

"Here comes the dip!" He announces suddenly, leaving her only a fraction of a second to react as he suddenly drops her downward.

Her arms reach out, instinctively wrapping around his neck to keep from falling. He may not have the sheer muscle mass or height of his companions, but Eris can feel the strength in Felix's arms and neck as he holds her tightly. He’s slender, but solid.

"Don't worry, I got you!" He laughs, lilting voice taking on a huskier tone as he speaks. "I won't let you go, unless you want me to…though, that may be a bit difficult. I kind of like holding you like this.”

Eris feels her heart skip a few beats as she processes his words. Chest rising and falling as she attempts to catch her breath, the heat that had momentarily been abandoned returning full force, crackling in the sparse space left between them.

Charged and tempting, like a favorite candy left unsupervised on the table. All one had to do was give in, indulge in that first, sweet taste...

“Well, you two seem to be having fun.”

Startled, Eris looks up to see Verda standing in the doorway of her office. There is no mistaking the twinkle in his eye, or the amused twitch to the corner of his mouth and suddenly Eris feels the need to bury herself in a deep, deep hole. Beside him, or more like towering behind him, is an all too familiar, and exceptionally handsome face.

“Felix, this is hardly what I’d call escorting Eris home.” Nate sighs. Despite his soft rebuke, she can still see a small, indulgent smile on the man’s face.

“Oops, sorry Natey!” Felix laughs, quickly helping her back to her feet. “We were just having a bit of fun. Right?"

He shifts his gaze back to her, eyes bright, still filled with the vigor of their dancing and the sizzling remnants of their lost moment.

"Sorry, Nate it's my fault." Eris tries to apologize, smoothing the wrinkles from her shirt. It was more a joint effort, if she was being honest, but she was also the one who gave into Felix's request in the first place. So, she felt somewhat responsible for their delay.

It felt silly, like being caught by a parent with a cookie from the cookie jar before dinner. Not that she would know what that was like.

"I'd be inclined to believe that, Eris. However, Felix has a much longer track record than you when it comes to belying his duties." He says, casting a knowing look at said agent.

Felix only smiles with a shrug, looking perfectly unapologetic.

She chuckles, patting him on the shoulder. "Welp, I tried. Never let it be said I didn’t try to defend your good name.”

“Detective!” Placing a hand to his chest, Felix sighs dreamily. “My personal knight in shining armor. You sure know how to make a guy feel special.”

"I just came to deliver these for you, from Tina." Verda chimes in, passing the manilla envelopes to the still-grinning Eris.

"And where did Tina get off too?''

Now, his smile vanishes, "she left work a little early so she could try and catch Kate at the dental office, drive her home...poor woman has been on autopilot since her son's passing…"

A somber silence falls over the room, the reality of death reclaiming the once vibrant and merry atmosphere. It's almost suffocating.

Nate clears his throat, thankfully breaking the sudden quiet that blankets them all.

"Well, let's be off then before Adam comes looking for us both." Eris cringes, she can only imagine the stiff lecture that would follow if that ended up happening.

"Let me file these away, then I'll grab my coat and meet you two out front?"

"Sounds good." Nate agrees with a soft smile, warm brown eyes alight in good cheer.

After Felix, Nate is another member of Unit Bravo who sets Eris at ease. The man exuded a natural warmth and openness that was hard to resist, not to mention rare, for which she was grateful for. A stark contrast to the other two members of their team who were currently not present.

"A good night to you then, Eris." Verda nods, "I am going to call it a day, Eric and the kids have dinner waiting for me. Mustn't let it get cold, I’d never hear the end of it."

She smiles, nodding. "Have a good night, Verda. I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow, say ‘hi’ to the family for me."

The vampires move to follow the pathologist out of her office, Felix gracing her with another wink as he trails after Nate to wait outside.

"Hey, Felix." She calls out, before he disappears.

He stops in the doorway, turning back to smile at her. "What's up, detective? Itching for another dance already, because I wouldn’t say no to that."

"No, I mean - I would, it's just…" she runs a hand through her hair, letting out a breath. How did he always manage to get her so worked up? "Thank you."

"For what?" He asks, smile dropping a little in confusion.

"For...taking my mind off things. I was kind of in a funk before you came to get me, and the dancing just now...well, it really helped. So, thank you for that."

Eris thinks she's seen most of Felix's expressions by this point, the agent has varying degrees of excitement and cheer, whether genuine or cheeky. Occasionally somber, like he had been with Kate. But the look on his face now could only be described as, well, almost bashful.

"I, heh, well...your welcome, then." Eris blinks, surprised at his response. She's never quite heard him at a loss for words before. He turns away, rubbing the side of his neck. Was he, was he blushing? "Always here to help…"

He laughs, the sound not at all like his usual loud, boisterous laugh. More like a self-conscious chuckle, as he shifts awkwardly on his feet. “I, uh...I better get to Nate, before he thinks I am holding you up again. Don’t keep me-us waiting too long, alright?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t dream of depriving you of my presence, even for a few seconds.” She jests, enjoying the leverage she seems to have gained over the normally unflappable flirt.

He stares at her, as if he’s never seen anything quite like her before bursting into another nervous laugh. “Your something else, you know that?”

With that, Felix tears himself away and she smiles at his retreating back. It was nice to know she could throw the usually charming and cheeky agent off of his game, giving him a taste of his own medicine every once in a while was very cathartic for all the times he managed to leave her a stammering mess.

Still, biting her bottom lip in thought as she recalls the heated moment they'd shared, she wonders what would have happened had Nate and Verda not shown up. How much of this, all the flirting and back and forth, was simply a fun distraction for the vampire who seemed to draw her in so effortlessly with his easy smile and otherworldly eyes.

He seemed the type to love them and leave them, moving on to the next new and interesting thing that caught his fancy. Though, it felt wrong to think of him like that, as if there was still so much more to him she had yet to see and understand. Maybe there was more to him, hidden beneath the charming smiles and quick quips, waiting for the right person to take an interest and a closer look.

Watching her from a short distance, lingering at the station's entrance, she can't see the soft amber eyes that mirror her own musings. Wondering if maybe she might take him up on that second dance, just the two of them, and where it might lead.

Would it be so bad, he thinks. After this whole mess with Murphy was settled, he knew they'd be called away again to god-knows wherever they were needed next. But, watching the detective as she finished her day's work, catching the way she smiled softly as she mouthed a few familiar words from the song they'd danced to just moments ago, he feels a sudden, anxious kind of excitement pull at his chest at the possibilities.

Until then, Felix forces himself to turn away. With a spring in his step, he replays the feeling of her skin against his own, the beating of her heart, her enticing aroma surrounding him, overwhelming his senses. Snuggling into his thick, cotton scarf he savors the memory. Bracing himself for the cold, and Nate, both waiting for him outside the warmth of the station.

He would definitely need to see about that second dance, he decides with some conviction. Hopefully, before they were forced to return to their lives before all of this killing and madness.

With a wide grin, he hums happily, the same tune that he would now forever associate as their song to their first dance.

~ * ~

“Oh I think that I found myself a cheerleader

She is always right there when I need her

She gives me love and affection

Baby did I mention, you're the only girl for me

No I don't need a next one

Mama loves you too, she thinks I made the right selection

Now all that's left to do

Is just for me to pop the question

Oh I think that I found myself a cheerleader

She is always right there when I need her

Oh I think that I found myself a cheerleader

She is always right there when I need her.”

                                                            ~ * ~

Below is a link to the routine I had in mind when picturing Felix and Eris’ dancing, if you're curious, choreo by Blacka Di Danca ft. Fraules <3

Thank you for reading! I have a few more stories in mind for Flirty Hotville, so he may be making an appearance again here soon…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E46VmGLc88

[werifestaria]

Hi I love your blog layout it so tidy!! Also would it be alright if I got a bnha matchup please?. My pronouns are she/her and I'm bisexual. My personality type is ISTJ, I'm a sagittarius sun, scorpio moon and libra rising. To the public I'm pretty closed off/reserved but with my friends I'm brave, loyal and love to laugh. I don't trust easily and I'm pretty cautious of everyone so I try to keep out of the way.

My hobbies include gymnastics which I did competitively and won a few medals, I also do figure skating and have leveled up pretty quickly at that. I workout everyday because even though I dont compete now I still want to improve and if anything I'm better now than I was back then.

I like indie music, horror movies mainly psychological, nature and wildlife and the peace and quiet it brings. I hate loud, busy places, untidy, dirty things and people messing up my routine.

My love language is quality time like I just wanna be around that person a lot. I think the love language that speaks to me most is probably also quality time, like the fact that they would want to be around me willingly seems so unfamiliar I love the idea of it. Also words of affirmation or physical touch, I'm awkward at giving those but receiving them would make me melt cause I'm not really used to any of it. My ideal dates are simple things like going on walks at like 3am or dancing in the livingroom or movie nights just cheap simple things like that.

hope that's okay sorry it kindof long :)

𝐦𝐨𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐚

Thank you so much for one of our first requests! We appreciate your love for the layout as well!! Tbh, I spent multiple hours straight getting it just right, so it’s a relief people find it pretty- and also, Scorpio moon gang! anyways, I hope you enjoy your matchup from me! Have a lovely day, hun

𝐦𝐨𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 . . .

𝐞𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚 !

runner-up : hanta sero

Easily, Kirishima is one of BNHA’s most easygoing, compassionate characters. His heart is big and always in the right place. Based off of your description and his own array of traits, I think he is the perfect character for you! Like, almost a little too perfect. A Sagittarius and a Libra (Kirishima’s sun sign!) are said to be very compatible and harmonious. Even better, it’s also said that people are often drawn to others who have their sun sign in the ascendant—Kirishima being a Libra sun and you being a Libra rising! To make things even more fantastic, perfect, and everything in between, Kirishima’s MBTI (according to The Personality Database) is ESFP. Guess what? ISTJ’s and ESFP’s are said to be extremely compatible! Of course, he’d find your inner demeanor to be extremely attractive. As he is naturally social, he wouldn’t mind your reserved nature and would pursue you in both friendship & romance regardless. Your outer shell would only lead him to appreciate your comical inner-self even more! He’d greatly admire your bravery and loyalty as well—it’s not something you see often anymore, after all. He’d try to bring the best out of you as naturally as possible, letting you do the same to him. Easily, he’s the most supportive boyfriend you could ever get! This man would adore you with patience, admiration, and sheer love, all with his own cheesy, dorky flair. I imagine Kirishima is careful in love, yet just as bold as the sun. He’s grounded, but on his most passionate days, his admiration can never be paralleled. You’d simply make him weak in the knees with every glance you’d spare him!

𖥸 Your music taste simply infects him. Imagine him listening to indie music with you 🥺🥺 your head in his lap as he plays with your hair- omg!! he loves to just sit and vibe with you. Nothing can compare to the fun you have on your chilliest days- he loves spending time with you in little ways like that

𖥸 Workout dates!! He’s infatuated with you for many reasons, but one of them is because you work out. The dude literally thinks it’s the coolest thing in the world and he adores working out with you. It’s easily his kryptonite lol

𖥸 Kiri has no concept of grace, so he is extremely impressed with your gymnastics and figure skating skills!! He could watch you do your thing for hours tbh. Like, slack-jawed and wide-eyed. In fact, I think he’d try to incorporate more nimbleness to his moves even though such a feat is kinda difficult when you can turn into rock. You gotta give him some credit tho- we all know he can be a little too opportunistic!! Just imagine him tripping all over himself because he wants to be nimble like you- that little blush on his face as he apologies for being a dummy- aww 💕💕

𖥸 Simply the king of casual dates. Sure, he’d love to spoil you with the stars and more, but he knows you like it calm- fr, you two are actually the cutest when it comes to staying up late and just messing around with no care in the world 💕 also, nature dates? Small picnics in the park?? I bet he’d love to go hiking with you. He likes to point out cool flowers or pretty weeds whenever you two are outside for even the shortest amount of time

𖥸 He loves watching horror movies with you.. even though they scare him a little bit LMAO- but just cuddling with you as your favorite movie plays in the background is simply heaven to him. Maybe you can turn him into a psychological horror buff!!

𖥸 He is also the king of words of affirmation~ the dude loves to remind you about how much you mean to him and how confident you make him feel within himself

You two really are couple goals imo 💕💕💕

𝐦𝐨𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡

Gahhh!! I was so excited to ship you with someone!! Thank you so much for requesting!! Also! Don’t worry about long bios in your matchup requests! The longer they are the more mod Ara and I can assess who’s best for you! Its definitely preferable. I hope you enjoy who I match you with. ^w^

𝐦𝐨𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 . . .

⠀

𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐨 !

runner-up : hanta sero

In my opinion, I feel that Mina is the perfect match for you!! First lets get some compatible basics out of the way. Like our good friend Kirishima above, Minas MBTI is also an ESFP (according to the personality database lol). As we know, ESFPs tend to be the most compatible with ISTJs. To add onto that, Mina just so happens to be a Leo!! Leos and Sagittarius's are often compared to soulmates and having a twin flame like connection! It’s a little scary how well you two fit each other, personality dynamics and all. Though you may have been cautious and quiet at first meet, Mina most likely pestered and wiggled her way into your life! She loves making new friends anyhow, and saw no issue in going out of her way to talk to you every chance she could. Now becoming your girlfriend later on would just be an added bonus for her! You better believe she finds your bravery admirable, it drives right up her alley. The two of you would make an absolute power couple, even a fan favorite!! Often, she’d make jokes or even play along with ones that you make in return, just to be able to hear your laughter. It fills her stomach with butterflies and she’s near falling apart at the seams with every melodic giggle. Get ready to be showered in compliments and praise, that’s this girls specialty, and she’d happily fluster you any day with her sickeningly sweet words. 

𖥸 Mina would probably ask you to spar with her a lot. Practicing new moves and quirk related techniques. God knows she loves staying active, and doing something she deems this fun with someone she loves. It makes the moment even more worth while. With your experience in gymnastics, you’d find that you’re able to run circles around this girl with your skill. Afterwards she’d probably offer a massage to ease any sore muscles. 

𖥸 Now as much as Mina would probably prefer a night on the town as a date, she would not think twice about choosing a secluded casual option for your comforts sake. Be that stargazing or even staying in to watch one of those horror films  that you love oh so much over popcorn and sodas. (She’s actually terrified of them, and has a weak stomach, but she’d never tell you that.) 

𖥸 Aimless car drives. Picture the sun setting, painting the sky in a soft pink and an orange hue flickering off of the distant buildings. Your preferred indie song blaring through the speaker while the two of you belt out the lyrics. Neither of you can hear each other over the sound of the wind rolling in through open windows, or how high she cranked the volume. You’ll definitely have to be the one to turn it back down, she can’t help but love loud music, even if the music wasn’t intended to be loud in the first place lol. 

𖥸 Don’t be surprised if she comes to you one day with a gift bag in hand. Every time she goes into a store she has to come out with something that reminds her of you. She’s not even aware of it either until you point it out. This could range from something as simple as your favorite drink to a giant teddy bear that she claimed resembled you. The possibilities are endless. 

𖥸 My word is she in love, infatuated even. That one night she caught you dancing about in the kitchen, probably making a late night snack, she couldn’t look away. In fact, she still thinks about it from time to time. How happy and carefree you looked lip-syncing the lyrics, in the silliest kinds of pjs you owned. She tried to sneak her way in, trying her best to not to make you jump in surprise, though she probably failed with how eager she actually zoomed in. Her love for dancing couldn’t go unnoticed here, oh no, not now. She brought you in close with a twirl under her arm, her smile the widest you’ve seen it. Her flirty nature, only for you, had her compliments laced with sugar and honey. Who knows how long the two of you spent dancing and goofing off to your playlist in that darned kitchen. 

Gosh the two of you make me squeal!! There’s absolutely no way you aren’t made for each other!  

𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫

𝐠𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭-𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 !

[acabloe]

Soon Goodbye, Now Love: chapter four

chapter one 

chapter two

chapter three

new ppl who r just seeing this it’s a guardian angel A/U find pt 1 n two  here ☟

Ao3   ff.net

tw’s: swearing, mentions on depression

still based on this song lol

a/n: is It copyright if I include lines word for word from the movies also is it weird lol too late. 

Chapter four: Make a Wave

Chloe had sat awake all night at her kitchen counter where she had a clear view of the living room and the small sleeping girl on her couch. Paranoia had led to the performance of unnecessary extra work while she waited with a small bath of coffee and her laptop, constantly visually and audibly aware of the situation if anything arose. 

Certain that she would be able to leave her job four or five hours early the next day because of the extra labor, she thought of what the girl- Beca, would do after carrying out the medial plans Chloe had made. They were, now that she thought about it, of a very impractical a nature and it had only just dawned on her how unrealistic they were. Granted, Beca seemed like she wasn’t completely hopeless. Although Chloe was not sure if she believed everything about her story, she knew that the girl wasn’t without resources; She said she’d lived in the city beforehand and she had to have paid some money to travel all the way from Massachusetts to New York.  She considered maybe meeting her again after work since she would be getting off so early, but she was still wary of the entire situation and how rash she was being. The thought that she had so expeditiously befriended this stranger she had found wandering alone in the middle of a field with no shoes or clothes and a long and kind-of gap-filled story was making her brain hurt.

After an extremely uneventful evening, the early hours of the morning dawned and Chloe threw together a small breakfast for herself and began to prepare for the day ahead. She found an old Barden school-sweatshirt in her closet to give to Beca and a pair of trainers she no longer wore, assuming for the time being that the girl truly didn’t own a pair of shoes.

After a brief interval of hesitation, she gently nudged her sleeping guest and murmured a cheerful greeting upon the girl’s stirring. Beca dressed in her newly-cleaned clothes, ate the cereal Chloe gave her in groggy gratitude and at the turn of the hour just as Chloe had promised, they left for the city in her red 90′s Nissan pulsar. 

 The conversation shared hitherto had been sparse and for the most part admitted on Chloe’s initiative, but after ten still fairly uneasy minutes of driving, Chloe found herself want of a more social reciprocity from her apologetic and rather acquiescent companion. 

“Do you mind if I turn on the radio?” Chloe glanced at the girl who was gloomily hunched in on herself, eyes flickering over the passing architectural and natural parade of suburban New York.

“Sure.” She shifted and smiled faintly in response. 

“Do you care what I play? I have a Sia CD in the glovebox there.” Beca dutifully withdrew the black and white cased CD and handed it to Chloe. 

“I didn’t even know they made CD’s anymore.” The jesting comment was thrown quietly but it had not gone unnoticed. Chloe chuckled as she placed the disc in the thin slot of the dashboard.

“She’s a comedian! Well, well, well, a real spokesperson for our generation, aren’t you? Don’t appliance-shame me­, this car is too old for an AUX chord.”

“If you say so, grandma.” Chloe was enjoying this new-found charismatic confidence of the stranger she had only met a few hours ago. As the first song began she hummed along to the all-too familiar melody. She had maintained a sort of comfortable fondness for the artist, as her acapella group had sung a few of her songs in concert when they had been together and listening to the album made her feel melancholic, but peaceful. Even though she didn’t really keep in touch with the girls, she still held them all very dear and her sense of pride for everything they had done together was still running strong. 

“Do you sing?” Beca’s voice was soft and monotone as though she didn’t want to ask the question.

“Funny you should ask, I used to sing in college. I mean, I don’t make a habit of boasting, but our acapella group performed at the Kennedy center with one of the songs on this album!” She smiled through recollection.

“Your A Capella group? oh my God, you are old…that’s nice though, I guess. Congrats.”

“See? I’m a cool grandma.” She increased the volume on the controls and instinctively jumped into the harmonies. The conversation dwindled yet again and she struggled desperately for another topic of conversation.

“Do you?” In Chloe’s side-view she saw Beca’s head turn toward her in confusion.

“Huh?” 

“Do you sing?” 

“Oh. Haha. In your dreams.” Her laugh resonated in a somewhat forced manner as if the subject had affected a sore spot and she became sullen within seconds, returning to the window. This unusual air made Chloe question whether Beca’s statement was true, and if it was perhaps more of a self-deprecating comment. After the first song ended and the second followed suit, Chloe’s doubts were confirmed (admittedly to her delight) as Beca quietly began humming the melody underneath Chloe’s higher intervals. A few words through she softly joined in with the lyrics and Chloe was taken aback by a pleasing (if a little rough) voice, harmonizing in absolute-pitch beneath her own. Their tones blended well, and though Beca was singing softly and with little motivation, their phrasing synced well, Chloe thought. They sung past the chorus and as the bridge began, she addressed Beca with amusement and determination.

“You Can sing! You liar!” 

“Dude, shut up. Just ‘cause I do doesn’t mean I can.”

“What the hell? Your voice is great! You know this song so well, it’s actually almost like you’re singing the arrangement we did for the president.” Chloe smiled when she observed she was making Beca blush. 

“Wait, you’re in the Bellas? Wow. I um…I saw that performance online actually. It’s, like, viral, you know that, right? Also, ever since that David Guetta song I’ve been really into Sia.”

“Oh, God, yeah of course I know, that perforamance almost got us disqualified. Wait, you know David Guetta?”

“Dude, I fucking love David Guetta. Titanium?”

“What a a BOP! Are you kidding me?” 

The last chorus came in and the two girls sang and with a litte more vitality than they had been doing so, especially Chloe. As the last chorus faded into the quiet between songs, Chloe was nearing the end of the highway and the toll booths signifying the entrance to the city could be seen on the horizon.

“So, where are you thinking I should drop you off?” 

“Oh, um…I guess the bank on 15th, if that’s cool? I can make my way from there.”

“Gotcha.” Chloe was unsure how to approach the next subject. 

“You know...if you need anything I’ll be there to help you get back on your feet? You can spend another few nights at my place until you have somewhere to go. Also, I can speak to that friend about the job, I think she’d really appreciate someone else at her café and I’m sure it pays well. Now that I think about it, she’s just around the corner from 15th, I’m going to be early for work anyways, I could introduce you two. If it’s too soon to think about work I totally understand.”

“No, yeah, um, wow, that’s so kind of you. I…I’ve already taken so much of your hospitality, um, I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done, you must think I’m so awful. I owe you so much, dude. If it’s not, like, encumbering you that would be so great.”

“Really, it’s nothing I swear. You’re a friend now, I’m here to help. Her name is Flo, she was in the Bella’s with me! She’s super sweet, I promise.”

-

Beca passionately inhaled the perfect euphoria of stepping inside Flo’s coffee shop. She had spent so much time in this building her last year on earth. Nothing had changed except for the fact her favorite latte was not on the large chalkboard Manu above the counter, which she didn’t blame Flo for; she doubted very many people ever ordered a sage latte. This recollection made her again dismal when she was reminded that not only Chloe had been made to forget her existence, but also the entire earth and all those she held near. 

The café was small but well and minimally decorated. The floor dipped into the ground as opposed to a raised platform and the ceiling was low with old, dark beams stretched across, between white plaster and strings of tiny warm white string-lights. The counter in the corner was short and littered with large glass bell-jars filled with assortment upon assortment of scones, muffins, donuts, cakes, and cookies. 

The tables surrounding Beca and Chloe were packed with well-dressed people sipping drinks and typing loudly on their laptops and as the two girls gingerly navigated through the labyrinth of perfumed hipsters. Beca finally spotted a very frazzled and frayed variation of her tiny happy friend busily flitting around the tiny kitchen and she smiled in excitement. They finally reached the counter and when Chloe shouted her name Flo turned with a disgruntled looked which quick turned to ease when she saw who had called. 

In Beca’s timeline, the Bella’s intimacy had grown only stronger after their acapella careers had come to a close. Most of them had lived together in some variations of two or three, and they met up often and spoke regularly. Beca had dwelled constantly while she was in the Higher City on whether, if in the universe that had come of Beca’s death, the Bellas had still stayed close or simply grown apart. She had immediately noticed when she met Chloe, how much more subdued and almost depressed the inner layer of personality had been. The thought of living a life away from some of the most amazing people she had ever met, and missing what had been such a huge part of her day-to-day was gut-wrenching to consider, she felt deeply guilty and sympathetic for Chloe.

As she watched the two of them converse, she noted that they still clearly maintained a pretty cordial, if a little formal, relationship with one another. They greeted each other familiarly and then Chloe pulled Beca forward for an introduction. 

“So, Flo, This is Beca! she just got here from Massachusetts and she’s looking for a job, I know you’re a little strapped here so I thought you could maybe use an extra hand and interview her? Or whatever you do when you hire someone in this industry?” Chloe passed her arm around Beca’s shoulders warmly.  Flo sighed and reached out her arms to Chloe in a gesture of gratitude. “You are my savior, Chloe. Work has been like an old man throwing dead-weights into basketball hoops. All these rich people care about is what kind of non-dairy, dairy product they ask for and if you do not get it right they ask for your manager. Which is me. Obviously. I would hire you right now if I had the time. I’m closing the register in fifteen minutes if you want to wait in the back? I’ll be right there.” She gestured to a small hallway in the back of the room and turned to return to her work. Chloe faced Beca with a grin. 

“So, I’m gonna leave you here, but here’s my number. Don’t hesitate if you need anything at all. I work about fifteen minutes walk from here. Text me, keep me updated. I’ll keep in touch, okay?” Chloe wrapped her arms around Beca and hugged her tightly. Beca was unsure how she could respond appropriately other than simply apologizing and thanking her profusely. So, that’s what she did, and then Chloe was gone, out the door and around the corner, bright red hair fluttering behind her in the bitter city wind. 

She had just made herself comfortable on the couch when Flo breezed through the door, still in her apron and lightly dusted with flour. Beca knew the moment she stepped in the café what she would have to do and say. She knew that Flo would sympathize and that she could trust her. Flo sat own at a desk adjacent to the couch and brought out a plaque with a few papers Beca assumed were applications, but Beca scooted to the edge of her seat and placed her palm on the wooden surface before Flo could speak.

“Flo, wait, um...just stop for a sec’...how do I do this? Okay, this is going to seem like a very odd request but can I hold your hand, just, for, like, a millisecond?” Flo’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion but she complied hesitantly, reaching her hand to touch Beca’s.

“Um, sure. Do you want some water or something? Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, Yeah I’m fine, just...give me a second.” Beca took her hand and held it securely. She needed just the right amount of contact. She closed her eyes and within less than a split second, Flo withdrew her hand with a gasp.

“Beca Mitchel?! Bitch ass hoe, what are you doing here?!”

a/n: sorry this chapter took so long kids! If anyone cares, I was in New York with my chorus performing at carnegie hall, also if Anna wasn't there at the performance imma b hella pissed bc not only does she a) have an obligation to attend acapella and Choral performances, now that she holds the face of acapella in her palm, but she was also b) in NY at the time and I c) tweeted her twice.

[1dffsummerexchange]

Writer in the Dark

Written For: @earthshake

Written By: @goldbravado

Pairing: Harry / OFC

Word Count: 13,064

Warnings: language, mild sexual content, alcohol consumption 

Summary:

they always say behind every great man is a great woman. sometimes, they say behind every great song, there’s a great, untold story

or, a story about sweet creature and the woman behind it

He was going to miss it. Jamaica had grown on him. He had been dreading the trip, for obvious reasons, but he ended up getting a lot of material to work with and put together for his first solo album. He’d come so far, yet it was only the beginning. And she’d been there for him ever since she’d entered his life. She knew him like no one else did, had put up with his bullshit like no one else had and was still there for him in the end, even after putting her through hell. It truly was hell when they fought. Still, he knew she’d be there when he’d get off his plane and show up at their doorsteps. He wasn’t even sure if he should head back to their house; it was that bad. He knew he wouldn’t want to see himself if he were her. But that was the reason why three quarters of the songs written down in his leather notebook with his messy handwriting were about her. He wasn’t planning on putting any of them on the album. He was very comfortable and capable of writing down his feelings in songs; he was better at that than communicating in person. What he wasn’t comfortable with was airing out his dirty laundry and feelings about the woman he loved for the whole world to see. They were only meant for them. Hell, he wasn’t even sure he’d ever show them to her.

Harry was sure he dreaded going back to London more than he had flying to Jamaica. His stomach was in knots the whole plane ride there. Despite his best attempts to occupy his mind with anything other than her, his thoughts kept drifting to one specific song he’d written about her. He was always so honest with his lyrics, always speaking his mind, completely putting himself out there. It was what made his songwriting so unique and real. He loved that about himself as much as his manager and his fans did.

But this one struck him to the core. He wasn’t sure how much he’d enjoy being tormented with every memory behind each line. Perhaps it was meant to be.

/ / / / / /

"we don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong"

"You are a sight for sore eyes, my darling," was the first thing he said when he got back from his long trip from America. He’d clearly startled her as she dropped the pan she was holding on the kitchen counter and turned to face him with wide eyes.

Waking up to the sight of her green eyes was one of his favourite things in the world. He loved watching them fluttering open or staring right at him when he woke up. She looked so peaceful asleep, so different than her usual self. That’s how he found her most of the time when he came home from the studio, or a day booked with press conferences, interviews and all that jazz. He especially loved finding her all wrapped up in one of his sweaters, cuddled against his pillow on his side of the bed. It was small signs like these that reminded him that even with all their arguing, she missed him as much as he missed her.

"Harry," she breathed out, slowly grinning at him as she took his figure in with her eyes, clad in all black, leaning against the wall with his duffle bag in one hand.

"Hi." He smiled back at her, dropping his bag by his feet, and took a few steps towards her.

"Hi," she repeated as she removed her oven mitts, carelessly throwing them on the counter. The only thing she cared about was getting herself into his arms, and that’s exactly what she did. Rushing to him, she was engulfed by his smell, a mix of his cologne and the sterile odour of airplanes that had seeped into his clothes. Still, she wrapped her arms around him tightly and breathed in his smell, which was oddly comforting. "I didn’t hear you come in. You were supposed to land a few hours ago, but I didn’t hear anything from you."

Harry pulled his head back, looking into her wide green eyes. His hand reached for the side of her face, cradling her cheek as his thumb ran over her lips and jaw. "I know. My flight was delayed."

"You got me so worried. I tried calling you, multiple times. Kept being sent to voicemail."

"I know," he said again, the corners of his lips tugging upwards. "I just wanted to surprise you."

"So you let me go to voicemail? I was freaking out! I was actually checking the news to see a headline like ‘Superstar Harry Styles dies alongside passengers in a plane—"

"Shut up," he said disbelievingly, interrupting her by pressing his lips against hers. Taken by surprise, it took Kass a split second to react and kiss him back, relishing in the familiarity of their position. He felt her entire body relax in his arms, making him tighten his grip around her waist and press her closer to himself.

Every time he kissed her, it felt better than the last. He never forgot what her lips felt like against his, but actually having them on him reminded him that no matter how amazingly he imagined the feeling in his head, it would always feel better in reality. It especially felt better knowing they were on good terms, and had been for a while now.

When the band had broken up, their relationship got better. With a lot more time falling into his hands and their schedules syncing up more easily, they were able to spend more time on them and work on what they’d tried so hard to keep together during his days in the band. That included more going out, more staying in and talking, rediscovering each other, basically falling in love with one another again. They’d been reminded of their early days when they’d met through a mutual friend of theirs, completely unaware of the differences between the worlds they each lived in. Being a uni student and being an international superstar did not exactly have many common notions, but love was common ground for everybody. Times had come when their relationship had been put to the test, but they survived, even if just barely.

So, things got good. They stopped having meaningless fights over jealousy, mainly since Harry’d escaped the public eye and facts weren’t twisted up in tabloid articles. Ever since their relationship had gotten a bit more serious, Kassia spent every day she could with Harry at his house in London, which was a lot more private and spacious than the flat she shared with three friends.

Harry loved that there was always one or two pairs of shoes half the size of his by the doormat or that there was always an extra blue toothbrush in his bathroom. She always left a few of her favourite pens at his place in case she ever brought her books and notes over to study, trying to get the best out of both worlds, those being the life of a uni student and that of a busy superstar’s girlfriend. It wasn’t because he was done touring and recording for the moment that he was always staying inside the country. Harry’s life never really seemed to hit pause, even if it seemed that way to the rest of the world. Even after filming Dunkirk, he was still constantly emailing, calling and staying in touch with important people that were required to help him start off his solo career, and part of that meant flying over to the States numerous times, trying to sort everything out and finding the right people to help him set the tone of his new start.

And this all made him appreciate coming home to his girl that much more.

They wound up with her back pressed against the kitchen counter and fully making out, completely lost in each other. But the oven’s timer went off and the pot on the stove started gurgling at the same moment that Harry’s stomach grumbled.

He pulled back, sighing. "We were having a moment," he said to the appliances.

"And we’ll have plenty of more moments later, but now, I gotta take care of this and you, mister, need to shower." He pouted, brushing his bottom lip against hers, trying to lock them back together. He missed her and he wanted to kiss her, make up for every time he had let her down and the time he spent away from her. She laughed as she pushed him back, sounding so beautiful to his ears. Her laugh was a sound that’d become very rare during a part of their relationship; Harry wasn’t going to take for granted another blissful moment ever again.

"All I want to do is hold you and love you. I missed you," he admitted, but it was probably no secret. He watched her face slowly morph from a small sheepish smile to a fake grimace.

"You smell like airplane," Kass pointed out.  

"Okay," he said at first, "but I wear it sexily. Plus, it didn’t really bother you two seconds ago."

"My mouth was a bit busy, couldn’t really call you out on it. Now please, go shower so we can eat."

He hid his face in the crook of her neck and tightened his grip around her waist despite her attempts to break free from his hold. "Will you at least join me?"

It was with great difficulty that Kass got him off of her and sent him towards their bedroom. When he got back, she’d set everything up in the living room and he caught her nursing a glass of wine, legs tucked under her as she sat on the couch and scrolled through her phone. They rarely ate on the dining table, which was mostly used when guests were over, and breakfast was almost always eaten on the kitchen counter. Whenever they dined together, it was by the fireplace and TV in the living room.

Kass caught him with her eyes and handed him his glass as he walked over to her. They ate in comfortable silence, save for the few small stories Harry recounted from his trip. Kassia mostly kept quiet; every time the subject of university was brought up, it usually led to a small argument. She thought she was being slick about it, that Harry wouldn’t notice how she avoided the matter completely, but he did.

After setting their plates aside on the coffee table, Harry leaned against the couch’s armrest and pulled Kassia with him, her back pressed against his chest.

"Thank you. This was nice, " Harry said and pressed a kiss at the top of her head. She gave him a look, urging him to go on. "Coming home to this. To you."

"I’m always here when you’re in London, at least as much as I can be. And I’m always feeding you."

"No, I know," he chuckled, "but this time, like, I don’t know. It was different, actually coming home to you." Harry felt Kassia’s body tense in his arms. "It’s just, you don’t understand how nice it is knowing that there’s someone waiting for you to come home."

"So you want me to wait around here while you go do your stuff all around the world?" she scoffed. "Well guess what; I’m always fucking waiting around for you, if you haven’t noticed."

Harry flinched at her swearing. He was used to it, but it didn’t help that her tone was growing more and more defensive and angry.

"Babe, it’s happened so many times that we didn’t see each other for almost a week after I’ve come back because you have—"

"I have what?" she snapped, interrupting him as she leaned forward and turned to face him. Her eyebrows were raised and her lips pouted, an expression Harry’d become quite familiar with and one that he didn’t really enjoy seeing. He could only imagine what he looked like, and as much as he tried to keep his cool, Kassia had proved more than once how difficult she could be. "School? Exams? A life that doesn’t revolve around you? You’re being a serious asshole and it’s getting on my nerves."

"I’m not trying to be." Harry sighed and watched her get up, pile up the plates and walk to the kitchen. "I’m just trying to talk about something important, and you snapping at me every time I say something isn’t helping."

"Then stop saying stupid things that are bound to make me snap back at you!" she yelled from the kitchen. Harry got up and followed her, grabbing the glasses and the bottle of wine they’d shared over dinner.

"Literally everything makes you snap at me when you’re the least bit pissed," he exclaimed, which probably wasn’t the smartest thing he could say, considering the glare Kass shot him. He seriously thought she might throw the plate at his head.

"You’ve got a special way of getting me really pissed."

"I was just trying to say something nice—"

"Okay," she cut him off. "Say it, and please, for the love of God, don’t say anything stupid."

"Move in with me," Harry fired back without missing a beat, taking her by complete surprise.

Kass’ eyes widened, mouth opening and shutting at a complete loss of words. "What?"

"I want you to move in with me," he repeated a bit slower, taking small steps towards Kassia. He took her folded arms, bringing them to her side, and took her hands in his.

"What part of that doesn’t fall under something stupid?"

Harry sighed dramatically, pursing his lips. "Why are you being so difficult?"

"Just because things aren’t going your way doesn’t mean I’m being difficult," she scoffed, causing him to look away, biting his lip.

"Okay, okay," he agreed. "Why is it so unfathomable to even consider moving in with me?"

His voice broke, despite his attempts to maintain his hard façade. Desperation and defeat were audible in his voice, something he was sure wouldn’t go unnoticed by Kass. She shut her eyes for a second, trying to calm herself, before looking at him with soft eyes. Her hands crept up his arms and rested on his chest, rubbing it over his sweater.

"I don’t think it’s unfathomable to move in with you, Harry. I love you. I would move in with you right now if I thought it would do us any good," she admitted. "We’ve got so much going on in our own lives; there’s nothing we can give up."

"I don’t want you to give up anything for me, not your student life, not your university, nothing. You know that’s not what I meant. I want you to keep doing your thing; we can change one of the spare rooms into an office for you, where you can keep feeding that beautiful brain of yours crazy shit that’ll make you the best fucking interior designer this city’s ever seen. I’ll change the colour of my bedroom because I know how much you hate it; I’ll let you redesign the entire house if you want to. Hell, you can take all of it down and build it back up however you want."

"The city wouldn’t be too happy with that," she sheepishly contradicted him, because she was Kass.

"I don’t care," he laughed. It was true. They fought like hell for a better part of their relationship, but he’d do absolutely anything for her. "I just want to make you happy, Kass."

"I don’t need this house to be happy, Harry." Her voice dripped with conviction and sincerity. "You make me happy. I just need you. I don’t need this gigantic house that’s gonna be empty half the year."

"We talked about this, babe," Harry reached for her face, pushing back a strand of her hair. "Things are going to be different. I’m gonna have a lot more control over the scheduling now; we can even discuss it together, see how things would work out best for the both of us."

"Then can we talk about this when that time comes? Because that’s exactly what we’ve been thinking for several years now. First there was the band, and when that ended, it was good. Until Dunkirk came around, and everything nearly went to shit again. And now, it’s gonna be the recording, promoting and then touring. And it’s not only you. I love everything you do and I love your passion for your job, but there’s gonna be my job too. First my classes, exams and then an internship and then my actual job, and--" She was rambling, but she paused, catching her breath.

Harry was staring at her wide eyes, slowly shaking his head at her and holding her face with both hands. Her eyes were about to start watering; he could tell by the way they were becoming frantic and by how much she was blinking. He hated to admit it, but he’d become accustomed to a lot of things Kassia related during their rocky relationship.

"Kass, breathe," he instructed her and pressed his lips against her forehead. "Everything’s going to be fine. No need to get so ahead of yourself now. We’re here right now; me, you, this house, your uni, and all the fucking time in the world."

"We can’t even go a day without fighting. You just got back, and look at us."

"We’re not even fighting anymore. We were fighting about not spending time and moving in together. If we fix that, we won’t be arguing about that anymore."

"Yeah," she scoffed, "until something else pops up."

"I don’t get it." Harry frowned and pulled back a bit. "You were literally just going on about how everything’s gonna become so hectic and how we won’t have anymore time for each other, but then you say it’s a bad idea to live together and literally be obligated to spend almost all of our time together."

"I’m just saying that we don’t have to make a decision right now," Kassia sighed before wrapping her arms around him. "We can think a bit, give it some time. I’m sure we’ll make the right decision."

Harry’s hands rested on her hips, pulling her in towards him until her chest was flushed against his. He softly kissed her temple and slowly made his way down her jaw, giving a little more attention to the spot under her ear, until she turned into putty in his arms. "That’s all I can ask from you."

"Good," she joked, softly whimpering when he nipped down her neck. "Don’t go asking for too much."

"Would it be too early to bring up marriage, then?" he asked between kisses, a light tone to his words. He couldn’t say the thought hadn’t crossed his mind.

"I knew you’d say that," she smirked proudly, "and you should stop talking before I hit that pan on your head."

A loud laugh erupted from him while he threw his head back, exposing his neck to Kass’ tongue licking a fat stripe along the length of it. He retaliated by peppering kisses all over her face, some sloppy, some toothy, before landing on her mouth, where he kissed her properly.

Harry took her to his bed and made love to her in all the sweet ways he knew drove her crazy. Fittingly, they spent the rest of the night watching a stupid kids movie she’d searched on Netflix, sprawled out over each other, following the story of a little girl and a purple alien trying to learn, love and find their homes.

/ / / / / /

"two hearts in one home"

"Kass, they’re both literally the same colour to me," Harry said for the thousandth time since they’d left the house. Of course, Kass had picked the snowiest day to take on paint shopping and Harry would rather throw himself in a pile of snow, naked, than look at a bunch of white shades that looked exactly the same to him under the fluorescent lights of the hardware store they were at. He’d made a point to complain a few times.

"Can you have some vision, please?" Kass groaned, looking back and forth at the two colour samples she was holding in her hand.

"Here’s a vision; you could paint the wall half-half and I probably wouldn’t notice the difference. You’re the designer. You pick." Harry put the weight of the decision on her shoulders once again. It had been the same with the pieces of furniture they were planning on buying; Harry said he’d only help with setting them up once they were delivered. Obviously, Kass didn’t take that as an answer.

"Harry, it doesn’t take an interior designer to see that Lily of the Valley is a warmer white than Honeymilk. You’re just useless."

"I’m plenty useful. Think about who’s gonna be carrying these cans up the stairs," Harry scoffed.

"Okay," Kassia sighed, turning to the poor boy that was standing behind the counter, and trying to calm herself. "I told him to look at the samples at home and decide, but obviously, that didn’t happen."

"It’s okay," the boy mumbled, clearly unsure about the situation.

"You already had your mind set on Honeymilk when you showed them to me. What difference would it make which one I liked?" Harry exclaimed, despite Kassia glaring at him. He turned to boy, throwing him an exaggerated smile. "We’re gonna go with Honeymilk."

Ever since Kass had agreed to move in the house with him around a month after he’d proposed the idea, he’d become all about pleasing her and making sure it was as comfortable as possible for her. She’d practically been living with him prior to their definitive decision, but this seemed to make it so much more official. It was definitely a huge step forward in their relationship, and it was needless to say that Harry was trying as hard as he could to spoil her.

They stopped for lunch on their way home, as their fridge had been empty for a few days now that they’d seriously started redecorating and spending more time on the house. Once they got back to their house, she took a few ‘before’ pictures of the place, saving them for the day their project would be over. They were starting with the master bedroom first, which resulted in them taking one of the guests rooms during the time it’d undergo a transformation.

Walking into the empty bedroom, Kassia waited for Harry to follow her up the stairs.

"You could help, y’know?" he said breathlessly, placing the cans of paint at the top of the stairs with a thud.

"Oh, relax," she said, turning her head to face him.

"It’s like carrying you up the stairs," he blurted out without thinking, but quickly regretted his choice of words. Kass’ less than impressed face earned an apologetic smile from Harry’s part.

"Yeah, and you do it all the time, so effortlessly," she teased.

"It’s not as bad when you’ve got extra motivation," he grumbled, scratching the back of his neck.

"How’s not having a proper bedroom for extra motivation." Kass lightly pinched his waist over his thick wool sweater. "You look cute when you’re a bit sweaty."

Harry hummed jokingly. "How cute?" He wiggled his eyebrows, leaning his face towards hers. "Wanna show me?"

"You’re an idiot," Kass laughed, pushing his face away, but only ended up getting slobbery kisses on the palm of her hand. "Please be a dear and go get the rest of the stuff from the car."

"Lovely," he said dryly. "Making me do all the grunt work."

"C’mon, babe. Put these bad boys to good use," she teased as she squeezed his biceps. She sent him back downstairs, but not before he snarled and stole a kiss, pinching her bum just for good measure.

Painting the room with him turned out to be a completely different experience than expected. Sure, they got the job done, but only halfway. They spent the whole day going at it, trying to be as meticulous as possible with the paint roller, making sure no visible streaks were left and that the walls were evenly coated. With that said, they only finished two walls and probably spent more time putting paint on each other than on the walls. It started with a swipe of Harry’s coated finger across her cheek, which was inevitably followed by Kass reciprocating the gesture. By the end of the day, Harry looked like he’d gone for a terribly done ombré with all the paint in his hair. And even though he knew the hassle it would be to take it all out, he’d do it all over again if it meant he could see Kassia smile and laugh they way she had all day.

He watched her step out of the shower as he wrapped a towel around his waist, and handed her one as well. Her cheeks were red from spending that much time under the steaming water and he couldn’t help but notice how soft and fresh she looked, the deep warm tone of her body glistening with drops of water that’d yet to dry off. She twisted another towel around her hair, reminding him of the time he had shoulder length curls, before standing on the tips of her toes to press a sweet kiss to his lips. Her fingertips lightly skimmed the soft lines of his abdomen, feeling the goosebumps rise on the skin beneath them.

Harry felt warm all over, partly because of the steamy bathroom they were standing in, but he knew better. That feeling reached deep within him; there was a fullness in his heart that could only be explained by the woman standing in front of him. The woman he loved.

His tongue traced the curve of her bottom lip, slowly following the path he knew so well. Kass whimpered softly when he unfastened the towels around their bodies. Instinctively, her arms wrapped themselves around his neck, using it as leverage to tilt her head and gain easier access to him while his body pressed hers against the cool granite around the sink. The edge cut into her ass, and her right leg came between his, her thigh repeatedly brushing over his cock. It sent electric shocks through Harry’s body and he involuntarily thrust forward, yearning for the friction once again.

Kass was the first to pull away, after teasingly running her fingers over his groin, and her lips were swollen, eyes fully glossed over.

"Food should be here soon," she managed to say, very distracted by Harry’s hands, one skimming the curve of her backside while the other lightly cupped the underside of her breast. Neither was fully satisfying her.

"Hmm," he hummed, staring into her eyes before studying her lips. "Just a bit more," he mumbled as he leaned forward and kissed her softly. Despite the blood rushing to his cock, he managed to stir away from kissing her dirtily; instead, he gently moulded his lips around hers and lazily traced circles with his thumb on the skin of her hipbone.  

They somehow managed to make it downstairs, fully clothed in sweats and sweaters, not trying to rip those clothes off each other, and before the delivery guy was ordered to arrive. As usual, they ate in front of the TV, feet propped on the coffee table while Harry flipped through the channels.

"No, go back," Kass said, mouth half full as she waved her chopstick towards the screen.

"No." He knew what she’d caught.

"Harry, yes. Go back."

"No."

"Harry," she whined, pleading with her eyes. Finally giving in to her, Harry skipped a few channels backwards, until he fell upon the one she was seeking. He watched as her eyes literally turned into hearts when she saw the purple little alien. At least that’s what he thought it was.

"Kass," he whined this time. "Seriously?" They’d watched this movie over a hundred times; Harry was sure he wasn’t even exaggerating.

"Yes."

And that was that.

Harry stopped protesting and they watched Home once again, because it meant he got to listen to her murmur all her favourite lines ("What is the purpose of your face?" was her personal favourite) and sing along to the songs she’d become familiar with. When their food was done, he cuddled into her side, resting his face on her breasts. The only downside to possibly having the most comfortable pillows under his head was that he couldn’t properly see her face light up every time the characters said something endearing.  

They somehow found themselves lying in each other’s arm by the fireplace under the flatscreen, kissing and loving one another to the sound of the crackling fire. Heat radiated off them as well, keeping their naked bodies comfortable during the cold winter that London brought. Harry noticed the fire dancing in her eyes as he rocked into her languidly and tenderly, loving her until his heart was so full.

And yet, as she sighed an ‘I love you’ in his ear, surrendering to the euphoric rhythm of their bodies, he managed to fall for her that much more.

/ / / / / /

"i always think about how we don’t speak enough"  

New York was always so nice to them. Despite its busyness and overpopulation, they’d always had their best times there, whether it be at Fashion Week or in the bed of their 50th floor royal suite. This time around, they’d been invited by Harry’s producer to celebrate his twelfth year in the industry and his achievements, an annual event held by the artists he worked with. Naturally, with Jeff being Harry’s producer on his debut album, Harry’s name and Kass’ name  were  on the guest list.

Stepping into the spectacular ballroom of the Plaza Hotel, a hostess seated them at their table, already occupied by some guests Kass  recognized, like John Lennon and his wife, and others who she introduced herself to after Harry did the same. He put his hand on the small of her back as they sat down and let his long fingers gently graze her ass over the sheer fabric of her dress. Courtesy of a bridal brand, Kass was dressed in a near see-through maxi slip dress, adorned with delicate crystal-like gems all over. She’d opted for simple nude strappy heels, visible thanks to the slit in the center of her dress, and a large diamond necklace resting on her chest where her dress plunged deep.

From the he’d set eyes on her in their hotel room, Harry couldn’t stop looking at her or touching her, hence their special rendezvous in the back of the limo on the way to the Plaza. For once, they had both been grateful for the hectic streets of the Big Apple.

"Think we could head to the bathroom for a few?" he whispered in Kass’ ear, the luxurious scent of her perfume filling his senses, heightening them.

"Harry," she tutted, placing her hand on his to prevent it from trailing any higher up her thigh. "We just got here."

"Can’t help it." His lips grazed the shell of her ear as he spoke. To anyone else, they just seemed to be having a normal conversation over the loud buzzing of the ballroom. "You just look so beautiful."

Kass could say the same about his all black tuxedo, sophistication and luxury dripping off him like he’d been born to wear silk designer ensembles. She wanted to run her hands through his hair, already a bit more tousled since they’d left their suite.

"Later," she gave into him, placing his hand back on his knee.  

‘Later’ didn’t happen through the night. After dinner was  served, Harry was  whisked away by some of his friends and left Kass mingling with the few people she knew. He loved catching her stare from across the room, watching her mingle with her friends until she felt  his gaze on her. When she noticed it, she’d subtly raised her martini glass at him, intently watching him reciprocate the gesture before they both tipped their glasses back.

"Ladies." He watched her excuse herself from the group she was socializing with, downing the rest of drink and placing it on a server’s tray, before walking towards him. He’d long forgotten about the conversation going on amongst the people around him, too captivated by the way the sway of her hips and the look in her eyes made him want to leave for their hotel immediately.  

"Gentlemen," Harry politely excused himself. He met Kass halfway, placing one hand on the curve of her hip. The other held his glass of scotch, carefully bringing it to his lips, all while keeping her stare. "I’m gonna be honest with you, I’m really horny—"

"What’s gotten into you?" Kass chuckled, checking around them to make sure no one had overheard him. Luckily, the chattering and music made anything they said pretty inaudible, and nobody was paying any attention to them.  

"—and you, in this dress, is most definitely not helping," he admitted as he felt her hands roam over his black dress shirt and make their way around his waist.

Between dropping his gaze to her chest, her lips and her eyes, he watched as a knowing smirk played on her mouth. "Suppose this wouldn’t be the best time to tell you," she started before dropping her voice and leaning toward his ear to whisper, "that I think you’d be happy to know that I’m not wearing any underwear."

His grip on her waist tightened and he felt himself twitch in his pants at the thought of her bare under her dress. That image had his mind going hazy, picturing the feeling of her soft skin so easily accessible if he’d just trail his fingers a bit lower.

"You’re driving me crazy."

She hummed. "Very happy."

"Should make our bathroom trip a lot easier," he cheekily commented, and she tried to suppress a smile.

Before she could answer, the lights from the chandeliers dimmed and the background music turned off as all the invitees turned to watch the stage at the back of the room. Kass leant into Harry’s side as they all watched numerous artists, long time friends and colleagues walk up the stage to give a tribute to the man of the hour. They were followed by Jeff himself, giving a small speech, thanking everyone for attending his event.

As he made his way down the podium, the guests went back to chatting and more champagne was served, as the reputable producer joined Harry and Kass, as well as his manager and the small band he’d put together himself, a few others who’d be partaking on Harry’s first solo project. They gushed and praised Jeff, congratulating him on all his previous work before moving forward and talking about the ones to come.

"Here’s to many, many more years of creating, producing and winning Grammys, baby," cheered Jeff’s wife, Glenne, taking their intertwined hands and kissing the back of his. The whole circle of friends raised their glasses to him, Jeff bashfully grinning back at them, and teased him for his soft side, as he was known to be quite frank and straightforward, although always kind and thoughtful.

"Speaking of," Jeff’s manager, Sophie, intervened,"what’s the plan for your album, Harry?"

Harry tensed a bit, knowing that this wasn’t be the perfect timing to elaborate on some things that were to occur in the near future.

"Not really sure myself," he chuckled, thinking a few white lies would go unnoticed. Now definitely wasn’t the time to talk about the trip, but nobody could stop Jeff’s manager from pressing the matter, not even her client, to whom Harry was sending pleading looks.

"I thought Jeffrey had booked the villa though," Sophie stated innocently.

He felt the colour drain from his face as Kass’ hand went limp in his, only making him grip hers more tightly. The plan wasn’t to keep the trip a secret from her; he knew he’d have to tell her eventually, he just didn’t know how. He knew she’d take it the wrong way, and now, she’d just been delivered with the news in the worst possible way. His producer and manager knew, of course, about the trip and the fact that Kass was unaware of it; his producer’s manager, however, probably hadn’t been let in on that small piece of information.

"Villa?" he heard Kass ask confusedly, looking between Jeff, his manager and Harry’s manager, and a chill ran down his spine at the tone of her voice. Any previous teasing and flirting they’d done was long forgotten as Harry contemplated how he would get himself out of this one. This was all on him.

"Yes!" Sophie excitedly exclaimed. "Ocean view, outdoor pool, three stories and fully equipped to record the album. If that doesn’t scream inspiration, I don’t know what does," she gushed.

Harry did know. Kass had always been a source of inspiration for him. And she could scream, mostly at him.

"Ocean view?" his girlfriend questioned, finally turning to face him. Her nails were now digging into his palm, and honestly, he would rather endure a pain ten times worse than look into her icy eyes, masking the hurt behind them.

"Of course. You don’t take a trip to Jamaica without taking advantage of the ocean," Sophie added as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It probably was, but Harry couldn’t think properly, not with the way his brain was trying to come up with a thousand excuses to give Kass. Her buying any of them wasn’t really likely.

"Of course," repeated Kass, dropping Harry’s hand when he refused to acknowledge her or the situation. He was frozen. "Excuse me," she mumbled distraughtly and exited the ballroom.

An awkward silence fell upon the group, all of them looking between themselves confusedly as Harry shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. A million thoughts were going through his head, yet he couldn’t focus on any of them. The picture of Kass walking out of their house with her belongings stuffed in a bag was scaring the hell out of him, as he simultaneously tried to recall all the steps that led up to now, considering how easy and flirty their dynamic had been less than an hour ago.  

"Harry," Glenne called out his name, pulling him out of his thoughts. His eyes wildly searched hers under the scrutiny of the friends around them, desperately begging her to help him. "Go after her, dude," she hissed .

He looked back and forth between one of his closest friends and the woman he loved, walking further and further away from him. The voices around him were quickly reduced to faint buzzes as he contemplated staying put, giving her some time to cool off, or to follow her and possibly have his head bitten off. He cursed himself, disgusted that the former was even an option.

In a split second, he followed her footsteps at  a faster pace, having to push and wedge himself through the sea of people occupying the room. He could make out the top of her blond curls as she was taller than average, something he liked to think as more of her for him to love. He loved her. Following her through the high ceiling hallways, relief washed over him as he noticed that they were surrounded by a considerably smaller amount of guests. For the event, half of the floor on which the ballroom was located had been closed off to anyone whose name wasn’t on the guest list.

The determination and anger in each and every step she took complemented the sharp clean clicking of her heels resonating in the large area. It shook him to the core. He picked up his feet more quickly, closing the distance between them, still unable to produce any coherent thoughts to speak. The second his hand made contact with her upper arm, Kassia spun on her heels and pressed the palm of her hand on his chest, hard, pushing him back.

"Where are you going?" Harry dumbly asked, blurting out the first question that crossed his mind.

"To the fucking ladies room," hissed Kass, glaring at him through slitted eyes. "Funny I’ve got to let you know when I’m going to take a piss while you make plans to—"

"Kass, babe, you’re gonna cause a scene." He looked around, trying to see if anyone had taken an interest in their confrontation; all he realised was that the few people near them were engaging in a conversation and walking down the hallway, furthering themselves from the couple.

"Don’t fucking babe me," she scoffed, pulling her arm from his grasp.

Harry sighed, reminding himself that she was angry at him, and rightfully so. If only he could explain himself. He never meant for her to find out this way, especially through someone else at a fucking gala.

"Okay," he calmly agreed, "can we— can we talk about this later?"

"Later?" She laughed humourlessly . There was nothing funny. "Like we did before you flew to France? Or—or when you came back from that, and we still didn’t talk about it. And then after that, when you were in LA all the time, but we just turned a fucking blind eye to all our issues and moved in together. Later," Kass repeated, scoffing. "No. No we can’t. There is no ‘later’ with you. There’s no ‘talking’ with you. There’s just you, what you need, what you want, and then there’s me, having to fucking deal with it, whether I like it or not." Her words were laced with anger but her eyes defied her, tears welling over the most beautiful green he’d ever seen.

She left him there, standing in the middle of the opulently decorated hallway and pushing down the urge to knock over every single vase and sideboard lining the stretched out walls of the corridor. He wanted to follow her, run after her and beg her to listen to him. Instead, he turned his back on her just as she swung open the restroom door, and he numbly walked himself to the men's room. The sensation of freefalling, common during dreams, shot through him four times while he walked the few meters that separated him from the washrooms. He was then thankful for the console tables he could grip when he couldn’t trust his knees.

Looking at himself in the mirror, he barely noticed any signs of distress painting his facial features. To anyone else, his wild eyes could be blamed on the champagne. After splashing some water on his face, he slapped it a few times, urging himself to snap out of his trance. He wished he had the willpower to punch himself repeatedly for somehow managing to fuck up over and over again.

When Harry stepped out of the bathroom, he spotted Kass standing by open doors of the ballroom they’d fled, playing with her nails. She looked up at him after hearing the sound of his footsteps, barely daring to look at him in the eyes.

"I think we should leave," she mumbled, her eyes fidgeting between his and whatever decor was behind him. Harry, however, couldn’t take his eyes off her, studying the dull shape her eyes had taken and the crease between her brows. Unable to resist the urge to kiss it, he placed his fingers under her jaw, feeling it tense over his touch, and shut his eyes to fully embrace the warmth of her skin upon his lips. Before he could press them on her, she bowed her head, refusing the gesture. "You should go say goodbye to everyone and thank Jeff before the car gets here."

The car ride back to their hotel was nothing like their previous one. Filled with tension, Harry and Kass both took interest in the city behind their tinted windows, shielding them from prying cameras. They weren’t hidden at all times though; the short journey from the limousine to the top of the hotel’s front steps was packed with photographers, dying to get a glimpse of one of the most talked about couples. Their argument remained unresolved, but still, Harry walked behind his girlfriend, who was following a security guard pushing the crowding paparazzi aside. His arms created a sort of belt around her, preventing the men around them from touching or disturbing  her, despite the hundreds of questions and comments being thrown at them.

"How’s it been, living together?"

"Looking so beautiful, Kassia. Who are you wearing?"

"When are we gonna hear more about Dunkirk, Harry?"

"How’s uni, Kassia?"

"Harry! How’s the album doing?"

"Look here, please, Harry!"

"What’s the next step for your relationship, guys?"

It was hard for Harry to admit that his heart started beating harder, faster when Kassia took his hand and gripped it hard.

Once they reached their suite, finally getting the privacy they yearned, they went about their normal night routines. Unlike usual , tonight didn’t involve any speaking, not even when Kass silently asked Harry to unzip her dress and unclip the hefty necklace. It wasn’t how he’d wished to undress her.

Harry was startled to hear her voice croak when she spoke to him for the first time since they’d gotten to their hotel, almost an hour ago. Standing over the double sink vanity of their ensuite, he stared at her through the elongated mirror reflecting both of them. Her makeup had been washed off, leaving her face bare, and she was dressed in her silk pyjama set that he’d grown accustomed to and quite fond of as well.

"I thought you didn’t have a set date?" Kassia replaced the cap of her moisturizer before placing it in one of her many makeup bags. "For the release of your album," she clarified when he didn’t answer.

"I don’t," he replied simply, slipping on a clean pair of boxer-briefs.

He watched her face fall, clearly disappointed at barely getting an answer out of him. Sighing, she threw her hair into a loose bun and walked herself to the bed, giving him a whiff of her perfume as she brushed past him. She was irritated, he could tell by the way she hit  the rows of plush pillows, pushing them aside and rendering them more comfortable. Finally satisfied by their position, she leaned back against them and rubbed her lotion over her legs.

"Kass," he pleaded, begging her to acknowledge him. "Talk to me."

Her movements came to a halt and she snapped the cap of her body cream closed before tossing it on the bedside table. "I don’t know what you want me to say, Harry." She shrugged, sounding so distant to him, even as she sat just a few feet away from him. All he wanted to do was hold her.

The strain in her voice indicated that she was trying her hardest to remain calm. He was known to push her buttons to get a rise out of her; they were known as that couple. But this was different, it felt different. Harry felt like he was walking on eggshells; at any moment, the wrong words could cost him the love of his life.

"Tell me how to fix this." He took a few steps, standing under the arch of the ensuite, and the smell of her moisturizer filled his senses. "I--I don’t want to leave us like this before I go."

Confusion drew upon her face. "When are you leaving?"

"I think Jeff booked it starting next week."

"You think?" she scoffed, focusing on the lamp next to her rather than on him. "How long?"

He couldn’t answer that; he knew what her reaction could be. He couldn’t respond to that before explaining himself to her. "Kass, babe, listen, I—"

"How fucking long are you going for, Harry?" she asked again, raising her voice, and finally snapping her eyes towards him. This time, Harry couldn’t bear to look at her, knowing that behind her anger was the feeling of hurt and betrayal.

"A few months," he mumbled, irritably running a hand through his short hair, pulling at it.

"What do you mean?"

"Fuck, I don’t know, Kass. Two, maybe three. I don’t know. Depends on how long it takes."

"How long does it take, then?" she pressed.

"It takes as long as it takes, Kass. It doesn’t happen overnight," he tried to explain. "It needs time and I don’t want to rush it."

She shook her head, swallowing the lump in her throat. "That’s not good enough."

"I don’t know what you want me to say." Harry enunciated each word slowly as his breathing shallowed.

"What do you know then, Harry?"  she sarcastically asked.

"That I love you," he cried, staring into her teary eyes. "Damn it, Kass."

"People who love each other don’t pull shit like this."

She stabbed him in the heart with each word. He knew how much of an idiot he was for treating their relationship this way. His mother wouldn’t be proud. Kassia certainly wasn’t proud of him; his singing and acting achievements meant nothing to him if they came at the cost of his relationship.

He dropped to his knees in front of her and took her face between his hands, forcing them to look at each other. His heart nearly stopped, noticing the vivid emotions behind her eyes, switching back and forth from pain to anger as they searched his.

"I’m sorry." His voice cracked as he spoke while he willed himself to not break down.

She sniffed, shaking her head. "Sorry doesn’t stop you from leaving me for another two months. I just got you back." It had been less than six month since he’d been home. He was always away and she loved what he did, but she had been committed to them ever since the start, even with her hectic schedule. Saying the same for him wouldn’t be entirely true.

"I can’t not go." It pained him to say it, to tell her he had to once again put work before her. He’d never seen it as that when he’d be constantly touring or jetting off to shoot his movie for almost half a year. "I made work commitments, Kass. We have everything set and ready for Jamaica."

"What about this commitment, Harry?" she asked, pointing between their bodies. "How much more do you think I can take? How much longer can I come second? How much longer do you think this will last?"

"Don’t say that," he hissed, his own tears welling up as he difficulty pictured his life without her. He didn’t want to live a life where he couldn’t hear her laugh at one of his corny jokes. He didn’t want to forget the softness of her skin or the plushness of her lips; he didn’t think he ever could. "I can’t live without you. I love you."

"Then do something about it. You have to meet me halfway here, Harry," she hiccuped, and he knew it was just as painful for him to hear the words as it was for her to speak them.

"I can’t," he choked. "I can’t. Not this time."

"Then when?" Her voice trembled as tears ran down her face and the pads of his thumbs brushed them away. She even looked beautiful when she cried, red-rimmed eyes and flushed face. He never wanted to see her this way. "When are we gonna be a priority, Harry? When will I be worth it?”

And there went his heart, shattered and torn into a million pieces because he couldn’t possibly imagine her thinking she wasn’t worth it.

Time wasn’t their friend. Harry didn’t necessarily have a deadline for his album release, but for promotional reasons, it was best if it came out a few months prior to the premiere of his movie. It had all been crystal clear when he’d arranged it with his manager, Jeffrey, but the plan was never to leave for Jamaica for so long. Originally, it was meant to be a maximum three week trip to distance himself a bit from the routine and hecticness of his everyday life. To find inspiration and have no distractions. Just him, his guitar, the studio, and an ocean view.

She was his everything. She was his inspiration in every aspect of his life. He wanted to be a better person for her, a better lover. She wasn’t a distraction.

He was frowning hard. He felt it through the prominent crease between his brows, stinging his forehead. A suffocating bubble blocked his throat when she wouldn’t meet his eyes, casting her gaze down to her fidgeting fingers. The words were caught in his throat, despite how desperately he wished to tell her that he didn’t want any of it if it made her feel anything less than worthy.

He couldn’t tell her, no matter how hard he tried or how many songs he wrote, so, instead, he showed her. All night, he loved her sweetly, pressing their bodies as close as he possibly could, until they truly felt like one. Kass’d been hesitant at first, as if she were roaming unfamiliar territory, but she found her comfort quickly. Her skin almost felt softer than the silk of her night set that he carefully peeled off her, allowing him to press his mouth against every inch of her skin. A feeling of nostalgia loomed around them as they rocked their dimly lit bodies, with one of the biggest cities at their feet.

This wasn’t goodbye. Harry certainly hoped not.

He whispered sweet nothings in her ear, kissed her, reminded her how much he loved her. Anything but naive, Harry knew that one night of making love to her wouldn’t patch everything up. That being said, the last reaction he expected was her breaking down in tears in his arms later that night when they both laid silently in the oversized bed. He wouldn’t have known if it weren’t for her tears wetting his chest.

"How long have you known?"

The rasp in her voice hurt him beyond words.

"Kass," he sighed, stilling his hand rubbing her arm, a bit frustrated that all he could see was the top of her head. "It doesn’t matter."

"It matters to me."

Fuck.

"I—I, uh, it’s been a few weeks now," Harry shamefully whispered and expected the worse reaction from her.

"When were you planning on telling me?" she asked calmly, as calmly as she could between her shaky breaths.

"Around now. Maybe tomorrow." He made a mental note to cancel their reservation for her favourite restaurant.

A long moment of silence passed where he thought she’d fallen asleep, her body slumped and pressed to his. He was tired of fighting. He thought they’d gotten over the hard part, that he had learned. The fact that she couldn’t look at him certainly didn’t prove him right.

Startling him, she pushed herself up on her forearm, looking at him with her big eyes, filled with tears and confusion. "Why?"

He knew that she knew why he was going. That wasn’t her question. She’d never actually stop him from going and pursuing his dreams as he was filled with ambition and never settled for just ‘good’.

"I didn’t know how to tell you," he confessed, ashamed to admit he couldn’t talk to his long time partner.

There was only silence after that, apart from the irregular sobs coming from the girl next to him. He couldn’t relish in them, he couldn’t block them out, he couldn’t tell her it was okay.

The last thing he remembered before falling asleep was telling her he loved her.

He wasn’t even sure if she was awake to hear it.

/ / / / / /

"it’s harder when we argue, we’re both stubborn, i know"

Jamaica was fun. Sort of.

Harry would be having the time of his life, if it weren’t for the unsettling nerves in the pit of his stomach every time he thought of home, which was quite often. It didn’t help that his phone’s home screen was a picture of Kass laughing at the camera. It only pained him more remembering the day it was taken, a day spent in his mum’s garden drinking sangrias while his parents were out. He couldn’t bring himself to change it. He’d grown so fond of the picture; it had quickly become one of his favourites of hers. Instead, he left his phone on his nightstand, only checking it twice a day in case of an emergency.

They’d been there for almost three weeks now, and his debut album was starting to fall into place. It was nowhere near done, but at least they’d gotten out of the limbo they were stuck in for the first two weeks in Jamaica. Jeff was particularly pleased with him, watching the talent he  had

As for Kass and him, they weren’t exactly on speaking terms. He wished he could just pick up the phone and call her, tell her about Jamaica, about the amazing people he’d met and about his album. God, he wanted so badly to go on and on about the vibe he wanted to go for and how he wasn’t sure how long it would take for it to turn out how he wanted it to. Hell, he was so scared it wouldn’t live up to his expectations, no matter how many times everyone, including himself, tried to reassure him that authenticity was all he needed. He knew he was gifted, so did his producer; the nerves were still there.

She was the person he always turned to. And now, she was the person he was turning away from. He hated it, but he couldn’t swallow his pride and call her. instead, he spent his time solely focusing on his album and taking advantage of every bit of inspiration that hit him; luckily for the album and his producer, there was a lot it. Unluckily for him, they all led back to Kass. He’d had previous relationships that’d meant a lot to him, and he definitely planned on exploring those ideas. Now, however, all he could think about was Kass and how so many things were always left unsaid between them.

Sometimes they did, except the message wouldn’t get through. Like when Harry nearly cancelled the whole deal and tried to tell Kass about it. He’d been set and ready to call off the trip and book a studio back in London, with maybe a few trips to LA; he’d even gone to the point of letting his manager and producer know. It almost went through.

As quietly as he could, he tried to calm down Jeffrey and Jeff on their three way merged call, both clearly irritated while Harry was getting fed up by the similarity in their names. The digits under the TV read 3:29 AM, an awkward time to be woken up by his anxious thoughts. Her tears had dried on his chest, only having been shed less than two hours ago, destroying almost all evidence of their rough night. Almost. Harry was a songwriter and a lover. He knew that emotional scarring was much harder to forget

The yelling in his ears continued, as both Jeffs had first been annoyed at being woken up at such an hour, despite both their phones being reachable, and now, they were going out of their minds that their key player was probably crazy. He just hoped the loud screeching coming through his phone wouldn’t wake up the woman in bed, only separated by an archway holding up white curtains.

“Guys!” Harry whispered harshly. It was unlike him to get angry at the people he worked with. “I’ve made up my mind. We’ll just figure out something in London.”

“Harry, no,” Jeffrey protested, trying to reason with him.“There are hundreds of people and things coming into play. You can’t--you can’t just cancel--”

“What’s going on?”

The fourth voice coming from behind made him end his call in a flash. He turned to face her like a deer caught in headlights.

“Kass,” he breathed, “I thought you were asleep.”

Her lips rolled against each other and she wrapped her silk robe around her a bit tighter. She shook her head. “I woke up when you did.”

Oh. Maybe she’d heard everything after all.

“Who were you talking to?” she spoke again.

“Nobody,” he scrambled to answer, mind frozen. “It’s not important.” He didn’t want to promise her anything he wasn’t sure he could make true.

She scoffed, nodding this time. The wall in front of him invited him to bash his head against it. “It always is, though, isn’t it?” she asked rhetorically.

“Kass, please. I’m trying to fix things.”

“Okay.” Her eyes roamed around the hotel, before focusing on her feet for a few seconds. “Maybe you should just focus on you, right now. Do what you need to do, get your album done the way you want to. Make sure it’s everything you want it to be.” Harry was already shaking his head. “And when you come back, whenever it is, we can maybe focus on us a bit more.” Her voice was cracking and Harry knew this wasn’t what she wanted.

“No. No, I want us to focus on us now, before it’s too late.”

“We’ll have all the time in the world. We’ll manage,” she said with a small smile. “But for now, maybe you should work on you a bit more, Harry. You need to figure out a way to balance out your professional and personal life, or else it will rip us apart. And I can’t be the one making you spend your time with me. It has to be something you want. I love you, so much. We’ll be okay for right now, when I’m so fucking in love with you, but there will come a time when that just won’t be enough, not when I only have a part of you."

Silent tears were running down both their faces; hearing the truth always sounded worse out loud. “What are you saying?”

“Maybe we should take a--” she cut herself off, trying to carefully choose her words. “Maybe it’s good that you’re gonna be away,” she spoke with a small voice. He knew she was scared to speak her mind, something so unlikely from the outspoken and confident woman he knew she was. “Perhaps we need this break, Harry.”

Either his heartbeat slowed or picked up like crazy, he couldn’t tell. All he knew was that if he didn’t sit down soon, his legs would give in and his head would probably hit the edge of the coffee table. Hard.

Jeff had been over the moon when Harry showed up at the airport. Although he’d re-confirmed with his manager around ten times and assured his producer a million times that he would show up, he’d given them a reason to doubt him. So, Harry set his mind on pulling himself together the second he stepped on their private plane and making sure his producer and crew wouldn’t regret a second of flying down to Jamaica and working on his album.

During their third week in Jamaica, their days got a bit more busy. Harry had a few songs coming together, with lyrics that meant more to him than anyone could understand. He started writing about himself and how he felt. At first he thought he couldn’t write about her point of view, about how she must’ve felt, facing his behaviour. And then, he truly started writing about himself, and how he fucked up in New York. He wanted to tell her how much he hated himself for it, and that he was aware of his imperfections and his flaws. He was certainly aware of them now, when they were thousands of miles apart and not talking, mostly because of him.

It was nice to get it off his chest. He felt like he was directly talking to her, explaining it to her; it was undeniably more romantic, but he knew that when it came to it, Kass didn’t want romantic. She wanted real, raw and personal. A song would get her to soften up and open her mind. A face to face talk would bring them back together.

Harry knew what he had to do. He just couldn’t do it over the phone.

That’s what he thought, at least, until one night after he  and his friends went out for drinks as a mini celebration for getting one song completely done, recorded and tuned. It was probably one of the only nights of his trip when his mind wasn’t so clouded with guilt and anxiousness. They returned to their villa around 2 a.m., most of them smashed, all of them ready to crash on the couches and watch some TV.

Harry was sprawled on the recliner in his blue Hawaiian t-shirt and matching swimming trunks, and he could still feel his sunglasses on his head. They were starting to give him a headache. He wasn’t as drunk as some of his friends; he was capable of forming coherent thoughts and sentences.

"Should we watch another rom-com?" someone asked. Harry guessed it was Mitch. It didn’t really matter who said. Harry wasn’t in the mood and frankly, all the rom-coms they were watching only made him miss Kass more and want to fly over to her and cuddle with her in their new bed.

He was staring at the big screen through half shut eyes, and once again, all he could think about was her. He remembered her smell and he tried, as hard as he could, to somehow smell it again, shutting his eyes hard. It was impossible, he knew that. He would give up just about anything  to run to her and cry on her shoulder.

When he opened his eyes, someone was scrolling through the movie genres and as they were selecting comedies, right above it, the children and family movies caught his eye. It was only for a split second, but it was still long enough for him to notice it.

Damn the purple alien.

Almost against his will, his legs bounced off the couch and he stood up, mumbling a quick goodnight to his friends before disappearing into his bedroom. He switched the lights on, only for them to blind him for a second so he could find his phone and then they were  off again.

Before he knew it, his fingers were automatically scrolling through his contacts and suddenly, her voice was coming through the phone.

"Hello?"

He almost dropped his phone, his fingers fumbling to grasp it in his long fingers. All he could think was, angel. He had to sit down on his bed, still in his day’s outfit, before he tripped over his own feet.

"Harry?" The way she called out for him made his chest tighten, because she sounded so worried.

"Hey," he croaked. A sort of relief washed over him after hearing her voice, but it wasn’t long-lived.

"Is everything okay?"

He rolled his lips together, tightly shutting his eyes. He hated that they’d reached the point where she thought he would only call if there was a problem. He wanted to tell her there was a problem, that nothing was okay, but he knew it wasn’t the right time.

"Yeah, yeah," he repeated slowly, almost out of breath. The inside of his mouth felt like sandpaper, either because of the alcohol or because of Kass. Neither reason pleased him. "Did I—Did I wake you?" he asked, his hazy brain trying to figure out the timezones.

"No, it’s, uh, almost eight thirty now. In the morning," she added. Harry could imagine her looking at the floor and wiggling her toes, as this had to be one of their most awkward conversations ever. She tended to show off that habit when she had to endure tense phone calls, and he’d seen her do it more than enough times to know that she’d be doing it now.

"How’s everything?" He didn’t know what to expect as an answer, but silence definitely wasn’t it. Anger bubbled within him; she’d been the one to propose taking a break after all. This was what she wanted. Still, he kept those feelings at bay. "How’s the house, with the decorating, y’know?" he asked after too many seconds of nothing.

There was a cough at the end of the call before Kassia answered, "It’s good. Things are good. I looked at some new stuff for the kitchen and bathrooms. I’ll show you them when you, uh, come back." He could feel the question burning at the tip of her tongue, but she refrained from asking when he was coming back.

"I didn’t know we were redoing the kitchen too," he said dumbly. Out of all the things he could’ve commented on, he managed to pick the worse.

"We didn’t really discuss it yet."

Harry didn’t know if there was a double meaning to that, but if the edge in her tone was any indication, he concluded that the kitchen wasn’t what she was most upset over.

"Yeah. It’s okay. We can do the kitchen too."

"Okay," she whispered. With each passing second that went silent, again, Harry’s heart thudded louder and louder in his ears. "How’s the album coming along?"

"It’s, um, it’s coming along," he said. He couldn’t tell her everything he wanted to, but his mouth was running a bit faster than his brain could catch up. "I write about you a lot."

He immediately regretted saying it.

"Oh."

He didn’t know if she said it because she was surprised that he wrote about her, or that he said as much out loud. There was some more silence before Harry managed to talk again.

"I think about us a lot."

"I know," she whispered after a few seconds. He didn’t tell her that he knew she spoke to Jeff about him, wondering and worrying about him, but he imagined that his manager was acting as their intermediate. That made him feel like a teenager again, scared and nervous to talk directly to the girl he liked. Except, a lot more was at stake here.  

"God, I missed your voice." He slurred a bit, but she didn’t notice.. He was thankful for the long-distance call and its mediocre quality.

"You could’ve tried returning my calls." Her voice didn’t sound too angry. It was more sad than anything, but Harry knew her defence mechanism; she was about to get pretty irritated, and Harry had to carefully choose his words.

"I know, I know. I’m so sorry. It’s just--everything’s been so hectic." He proved unable of being wary with his choice of words.

"I thought you were going there because things were hectic here." There was an edge to her tone. Harry knew she’d be unhappy with him; it was just different experiencing it than imagining it. He’d gone over this confrontation a hundred times in his head, but the few drinks he’d had had not been part of the plan.

"That’s not why I’m here Kass." He was starting to get irritated and almost regretted calling her in the first place.  "Can we not do this right now?

"Do what?"

"I don’t know. This." Harry waved his hands around as if she could see him. "Can we just, fuck--" He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to think clearly, before repeating, "Can we just talk about this later?"  

"Later. Okay." Kass scoffed, but insisted, "When? When you’re back home and won’t talk to me about major plans you have? Or when I wouldn’t be killing your buzz maybe?" He didn’t say anything. "What? You thought I wouldn’t notice?"

So she had noticed. How did she even know? She was Kass. She knew him better than he knew himself, and she probably knew he was about to get defensive.

He chuckled dryly. "So now you’re pissed that I’m drunk?" The words didn’t really hold any meaning to him; he knew why she was upset. It didn’t change the fact that her condescending tone was getting to him.

There was a moment of silence where Harry thought maybe she’d apologize or even go back to their previous topic. He wasn’t prepared for the next words she spoke.

"No, just disappointed."

He couldn’t think of anything worse she could say to him. It hit him hard, knowing that he’d let her down. She was the one person who was always on his side, who always had his back, no matter how his day way, no matter all the bullshit that he would cause with his career and the media. Her words were like daggers, and they cut deep.

It was the first time he’d spoken to her since he left home, if he didn’t count the few text messages they’d exchanged as soon as he’d landed.

It was the first time he’d spoken to her since he left home, and he was borderline drunk. He understood where she was coming from. But he didn’t know what to say. The next few minutes on the line were completely silent, save for their audible breathing. Kass’ end of the call was nearly silent, or maybe he couldn’t hear much over his own erratic breaths.

Harry hung up on her before he knew it. He regretted it immediately.

He didn’t drink again for the rest of the trip.

/ / / / / /

"when I run out of rope, you bring me home"

London was grey and rainy when he landed. It was quite fitting, Harry thought. He was a nervous wreck, drained and tired, and his delayed flight only fuelled his restlessness. He terribly missed her.

He tucked the leather of his notebook back in place and wrapped the string around it to secure it before grabbing his duffle bag and stepping into the hectic night of Heathrow. Dodging as many photographers as he could, he couldn’t help but be thankful for the questions they threw at him. It helped drown out his thoughts racing over the words Kass had told him before he’d left.

He didn’t know what was waiting for him at home. He wasn’t even sure anyone would be there at all. When he walked up the front stairs of his house and stepped into the living area, he half expected Kass to be waiting there to slap the shit out of him. Finding her asleep on his side of the bed, wearing nothing but his green sweater both relieved him and made his stomach tie up in tighter knots. She missed him too.

Quietly changing out of his clothes, he decided that taking a shower could wait another few hours. All he wanted to do was get in bed next to her and hold her close and tell her that all he could write about was her.

Kassia shifted when he slipped under the sheets next to her, awakening her from her light sleep.

"Hi." He weakly smiled at her, studying her taking in his presence. He wasn’t expecting her to lunge forward and wrap  her arms around him.

"Harry," she simply acknowledged him. He slowly laid their bodies back down on their bed, locking her under him as he kissed the side of her head.

"I missed you." Quite oddly, he sharply inhaled through his nose, trying to satisfy the longing he felt to smell her once again.

"You didn’t call."  She was referring to his delayed plane trip.

"I’m sorry."

"I know."

He pressed his forehead to hers. "I wish things were different."

"I do too."

"I wish I were different," he heavily gulped, "for us. For you."

They hadn’t talked it through. He didn’t know where they’d left off. Things had been so bad, he couldn’t understand how she was here, in their bed, in his arms.

"It’s okay," she choked, shaking her head and tightly gripping his. "I don’t want you to be different. I just want you. All of you. Everything else is trivial."

Fatigue tormented his body, not only from hours of traveling, but from fighting and spending time apart from her. Likewise, deep shades of blue and purple tainted the skin under Kass’ eyes, exposing her sleepless nights and weighing thoughts about them.

"I’m sorry," he apologized again. He couldn’t say it enough.

She let her eyes roam his face, taking in his troubled features. "My beautiful man," Kassia commented, mostly to herself. "I’m sorry for ever bringing up a br—"

"It was me," he said, taking the blame, "it was all me. I’m sorry. Never again," he promised. He never wanted to put her or himself through such pain again.

"It’s okay." She pressed a kiss to his creased forehead before he laid down beside her and placed his head on her chest.

"What about us?" Harry asked after a while of mustering up the courage to face the consequences of his actions. The answer would determine the course of the rest of his life. Part of him, most of him, couldn’t imagine her saying this would be their end. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

His heart beat louder in his ears— either it was his or hers, vibrating through her chest— as Kassia carefully thought for a moment.

"We’ll be okay."

Okay it would be, then. As long as he had her, he could put up with anything. She was the reason why he looked forward to coming home, the face he always hoped to see in a crowd, and the person he wanted to fall asleep next to. She was the reason he woke up every morning and faced the world with a brighter smile everyday because she was the reason he saw the world with a bit more colour. She was the reason behind the near fifty songs he’d written in the past few months, because even as they fought, she consumed his every thought and reminded him of home.  

Everything led back to her.

[thedesperatehousehusband]

Super Three Days Later and A Bowl Short

So the Super Bowl. It’s a classic American event. It’s not to be missed. This year’s game was initially very uninteresting to me because I assumed it would be a blowout in the Patriots favor. And who wants to see that again? And then deal with a smug Gisele? The worst. I always root for the team playing the Patriots to beat the Patriots. In the instance of the Super Bowl, I don’t care which NFC team has the honor. I want them to win. I have no vested interested in the Eagles. But I’m elated they won.

Performance wise….Leslie Odom Jr. did a great job. I love me some Pink. I appreciate that her rendition of the national anthem was not overwrought. Her high notes were scratchy but apparently she wasn’t well. Regardless, she did a good job. Justin Timberlake was fine. But I wanted more. The dancing was on point. The singing was just more yelling “MINNEAPOLIS!” than actually singing the lyrics of the mélange of songs. The Prince hologram was fine. I get it. Prince lived in Minnesota. It was a good show. Not a great show.

Now for the ads. I’m nonplussed across the board less a couple. I stopped taking notes and missed a few but got most of them. Don’t bite my head off if you liked something that I don’t. It’s a free country, bitches. And the State of the Union had higher ratings than the Super Bowl. I’m not sure if he said or Tweeted that but it sounds plausibly possible given the daily nonsense he spins as facts.

Toyota Para Olympics: This was a nice spot. Beyond being an Olympic sponsor, I don’t see what it has to do with Toyota. So from a brand standpoint it could have been anything.

Sprint Robots: Terrible. They spent a shit mess of money making that spot. And it was not money well spent.

Solo: Be there. Memorial Day. I plotzed myself watching this trailer. Donald Glover as Lando? Yes, please.

Turkish Airlines with Dr. Oz: It’s assuming a lot that people know that Dr. Oz is Turkish, isn’t it? But I would fly the shit out of Turkish Airlines. That looked legit.

Rise on NBC: We’ve seen the pilot and are over-the-top excited about this show. Rosie Perez? Yes, please.

Bud Light Dilly Dilly #1: I’m nearing the edge of being over this campaign. It’s humor is fleeting. But I’ve enjoyed it for the most part. I would have preferred to see something entirely different for the Super Bowl but I give them credit for telling a story over multiple spots.

M&Ms with Danny DeVito: I get it. Danny DeVito is as small as an M&M. But the thought of ingesting Danny DeVito is pretty gross. Just ask Rhea Perlman.

Dodge RAM with Vikings: I sort of get it. I sort of don’t. I think the message was if a Viking were to drive a truck as opposed to a boat it would be a Dodge RAM. But what I liked is the secondary call to action around “Watch the Full Story” on YouTube or RAM.com or whatever. Extending content to other platforms is huge. And it was a big trend on the Super Bowl.

Wendy’s Frozen Arches: It’s bold. Calling out your top competitor and iconic market leader. Trying to create a differentiator in the minds of consumers. You can’t just show a Frosty for a buck and expect social chatter.

Castle Rock streaming on Hulu: I’m intrigued. It’s also fascinating that EVERY streaming service ran a spot on the Super Bowl.

Skechers with Howie Long: God, this spot was awful.

Heroes Arena: I don’t get gaming.

Doritos with Peter Dinklage: It was clever but it could have been for anything. What does Peter Dinklage lip syncing to Busta Rhymes/Christ Brown have to do with chips?

Mountain Dew Ice with Morgan Freeman: Same comment as above. Except that my understanding is that this is some sort of campaign? Color me confused. But hearing Missy Elliott is never a bad thing. And the fact that Morgan Freeman agreed to do this seems like a big deal.

Tide No Stains with David Harbour: Now THIS is clever advertising. P&G blew it out with this one by turning their functional benefit on its head and making you think about the product differently because for most of the spot you weren’t thinking Tide. A++++++++++++++

Bud Light Knight: I’m officially over it.

ETrade 85 and I Wanna Go Home: Startling statistics about retirement preparedness presented in an interesting but not scary way. Totally awesome and insight based.

Skyscraper with Dwayne Johnson: This movie looks like summertime fun but what I loved was the tag in the ad about seeing Dwayne Johnson live on The Tonight Show after the game. Extend your content. Drive deeper engagement. Smart, smart, smart.

Mission Impossible Fallout: Fallout is right. I fell out when I saw a 79 year old Tom Cruise trying to do yet another Mission Impossible action movie. Not today, Satan.

Quicken Loans: I very much liked this spot. Good use of humor around a pretty non-humorous but stressful thing. Getting a mortgage.

Avocados from Mexico: I just loved this. Dystopian humor is hilarious. THE CHIPS ARE OUTSIDE THE DOME. But wait…there are a million other ways to use avocados. Nice, nice spot.

Cloverfield Paradox on Netflix: I don’t care.

Diet Coke with the Hipster: I know this one was polarizing. I liked it very much. It was funky without being inaccessible. It was cool and hip without alienating any one group. Coca-Cola is a marketing organization that I very much like.

Jeep The Road Ends: I 100% loved this. Perfect for what Jeep’s brand essence is. In reality, how many people do major off-roading with their Jeep but whatever? A+++++

Tide with Old Spice: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING PERFECT.

WeatherTech: Cheap, cheap, cheap. Hated it.

Pringles: Sort of fun. Sort of been there done that.

Febreeze Bleep Don’t Stink: Another favorite. This is a great way to use humor that could be extended into other channels and not wear out. The joke will ultimately get old but there’s so much they can do with this. A++++++++++++

Michelob Ultra with Chris Pratt: Yep, that’s realistic. A PA casting extras wouldn’t know Chris Pratt. Blech.

Squarespace with Keanu Reeves: Nope. You wanna know who’s no longer relevant? Keanu Reeves.

Dodge RAM Built to Serve: Decent use of emotion without getting too far into melodrama.

Australia Travel: I thought this was great and renews my heavy desire to visit Australia.

TurboTax Monster Under the Bed: Meh.

Yellow Tail: Absolutely horrendous.

Amazon Prime: Good not great.

Toyota Priest Rabbi: Toyota needs to figure itself out. Their spots were so disparate during the Super Bowl. Stand for something, dammit. Don’t try to stand for everything. Do you want to tug on my heartstrings about the Para Olympics or do you want to tell jokes? It’s too much.

Pepsi: It felt like they sponsored the halftime show. Or am I mistaken?

Jack Ryan on Amazon Video: No thanks.

The Voice Promo: I want to watch this promo every day until the end of time. It was kind of perfect.

Lexus Black Panther: Here’s what I know. We are going to see the SHIT out of Black Panther. What that has to do with Lexus is unclear.

Tide Clydesdales: OMG LOL ROTFL.

Budweiser Water: I’m talking out of both sides of my mouth. Because Toyota and Budweiser have done something similar. But Budweiser made it work because it’s natural for them to have water because they need it to make beer. So their altruism feels sincere without stretching.

Intuit Turbo Tax: Terrible.

Jeep Jurassic Park: Decent.

Kia with Steven Tyler: Nope.

Blacture: Be Celebrated. Not Tolerated. Powerful words. It’s not clear what Blacture is but I will admit to being intrigued.

Wix: Terrifically terrible.

Michelob Ultra We Get Beer: Do you? Do you really?

Groupon: Not memorable.

Alexa New Voices: I liked it but the joke wasn’t funny by the time the spot was done. That’s not great.

Coke Different for Everyone: I approve.

Hyundai Hope Comes Standard: So heavy handed.

T-Mobile with Kerry Washington: Had this spot been for Pampers, I would have loved it. For a cell phone carrier it don’t make a drop of damn sense.

Stella Clean Water: Apparently ALLLLLLL of our beer manufacturers are bringing water to those in need. I didn’t see that theme coming.

Jeep Manifesto: They missed on this one. I liked the first two. But this just made me roll my eyes.

Tide Pharma: This brought me incredible joy as it pokes fun at my life’s work. Which is hilarious to me.

Tide for the win. David Harbour is a national treasure. Gisele is the WORST. And Nick Foles is going to Disney World.