#i sorta knew it would be unplayable

[composing-the-future]

i am in canada rn and i tried playing league. I uh i loaded into an aram playing bard. i had 330 ping. and then computer crashed

[necromancy-enthusiast]

in what ways is the 3ds better friend

Oh boy anon, I am so happy you asked, because the 3ds rivals the playstation 2 as my favorite video games console, so buckle in, because I have Many Thoughts about this. The switch, as I’m sure you know, has been an incredible success. Nintendo learned from the mistakes they made with the wii u, and they’ve been raking the money in ever since. But like I said before, which I imagine is what prompted you to ask this question in the first place, is that once you get past the novelty of the switch, it feels underwhelming. I primarily play it in handheld mode so my opinion is colored by that, but the thing is, it's supposed to be both a home console and a handheld console, and theoretically it's supposed to perform at least to generally equal standards. But it doesn't.

The original switch's battery life is garbage, and there's a huge downgrade in graphic fidelity between TVs and the switch's native screen. I'm by no means one of those people who thinks anything that isn't absolutely cutting edge is A Sin Against Viddy Gaems, and yeah I also get there's bound to be some downgrade, but I think that games shouldn't play like powerpoint presentation slides in handheld mode, I think that's a reasonable thing to ask. From what I've gathered this has been improved in the switch lite and oled versions, so I'll give them that, but the thing is that these deficits suggest that the ‘handheld’ mode was more of a sloppy after-thought than anything, sorta like an ‘just shove it on there we’ll deal with the problems later once everyone’s already bought one so it’ll incentivize them to buy the new upgraded version’ thing.

As long as we’re talking about hardware issues though, one thing I think is totally inexcusable is the problem with the switch joycon drift. That wasn't an honest mistake, Nintendo knew about this problem long before the switch came out. Originally they wouldn't even repair joycons out of warranty, but people made enough of a fuss about it that they started to. Apparently, with the switch oled they’ve ‘improved’ the joycons.

Note the term ‘improved’. Not ‘fixed’. ‘Improved’. Meaning that even 6 years after it launched, people are buying brand new switches and getting joycon drift. That’s total bullshit. I’ve heard people try to excuse these issues by saying ‘it’s wear and tear, of course it’s going to degrade after a lot of use’, which is also utter bullshit. How do I know that?

The oldest Nintendo console I have is an N64 that I basically inherited from my older siblings (lol I’m kinda the collection keeper nowadays). Now the N64 is uh… It has a weird controller that has awkward movement controls. But it still works just like it always did despite being over 20 years old. My ps2 is also over 20 years old and trust me, it has seen A LOT of use, but the original controller it came with and the extra I got a few years later also work just as good as new. So why does Nintendo suddenly get to pull the ‘wear and tear’ excuse when they’ve proven they and other video game companies can make durable controllers in the past?

I can’t really think of another video game console that has so consistently had such long reaching hardware problems, and not just little problems, problems that make some games basically unplayable (lol just try playing the game Card Shark on the switch with a drifting joycon, it’s not very fun), but Nintendo gets away with it because they’re Nintendo, and because the switch was their comeback. People love underdog stories, so that plus Nintendo’s brand loyalty (that Sony and Microsoft would probably put out a hit on someone to achieve for themselves, if it were only so simple) has made people feel lenient towards them…

But that good will and grace that Nintendo garners from many of its fans is wearing thin, which I think is fantastic because at the end of the day, Nintendo is another company that wants to make as much money as possible, and it should be held to much, much harsher standards! Especially since it’s a multi-million dollar company! But that’s another topic.

Another thing that has really started bugging me after I started messing around on my n3ds again is that the sheer amount of customizability in the 3ds absolutely puts the switch to shame. The switch has virtually nothing. You can mostly just change between the UI being black or white. But the 3ds has themes and folders you can organize your games in (or you can just have them all show on the main screen so you don't forget you have them, like I do with the switch -_-). They also have badges! Admittedly you get them through the badge arcade game, which is a 'free to start' game that tries to get you to pay real money, but you can easily get a lot of good stuff for free anyway.

I wouldn’t say this next part is bad, but it does indicate a change in Nintendo’s strategy and how that was likely influenced by their financial situation. The switch has a lot of ports. A lot of them. Like I said, this isn’t bad in and of itself, those games become easier for people to access in an easy, legitimate manner. But why would they suddenly change this? Traditionally Nintendo has been very picky about what it chooses to port, but nowadays the switch eshop is absolutely flooded with games of varying quality. It’s nowhere as near as bad as steam’s ‘quality control’ issues, but like I said, it just points to Nintendo’s underlying problems.

I’m not saying the 3ds didn’t have problems. Apparently when it first launched some people got headaches when they played with the 3d effect on, but given how a handheld console projecting 3d graphics like that was a brand new thing and how they actually seriously improved that (and how it’s totally optional anyway, it’s not necessary to the experience like oh I don’t know, the damn controllers of a home console), I think it’s more reasonable, and its launch titles were underwhelming (except Samurai Warriors Chronicles, God I love me a good Samurai Warriors, but admittedly it ran kinda eeehhh on the original 3ds, but the n3ds is much smoother).

Still, the 3ds is indicative of a time when Nintendo was flush with money and success from the wii/ds era in the 00s. The switch is indicative of when they were hemorrhaging money due to the wii u's failure and the 3ds' rocky start in the early-mid 10s. Marketing the switch as an all-in-one console was pretty smart, because I'm 99% sure they made that choice so they wouldn't have to split resources and money on developing two separate systems like they were generally expected to, since at this point Nintendo has practically cornered the market on traditional handheld game consoles. But it's clear the handheld part was tacked on and not given much thought, and that the whole process was rushed and occurred in a time of financial desperation.

[thegeminisage]

9 14 19 27 39 41 69 70

pls you sent me so many thank u ilu

9. Most regrettable purchase?

it’s a tie between 1. the white knight chronicle games & 2. the tron legacy video game - but for very different reasons. i LOOOVED white knight chronicles and the online play was PERFECT it was like not a full mmo so not #cursed (sorry mmo players but dont boo me for being right) so it was really great to play with my pal @skillethelm but then RIGHT after i got into it they SHUT THE SERVERS DOWN and so like i wasn’t allowed to sort of move on naturally and i always feel really bitter and resentful when i think of it. the tron video game, on the other hand, was just super awful. unplayable. i tried real hard to like it bc i love the movie more dearly than any other movie on god’s green earth but…i couldn’t. im sorry sam flynn

14. Favorite game music?

all of it? there are games i have played JUST BECAUSE the soundtracks were so good i couldn’t stop listening and i got curious - these include chrono trigger, ff6, UT, and mirror’s edge (kinda). like, my favorite of all time will always be zelda music, & my favorite zelda track is oot’s title screen theme, but like…i just fucking love game music man. i love sonic’s buttrock and dragon age’s elven emo pop and zelda’s grand orchestrations and ff13′s/mirror’s edge smooth synth-y stuff and all the catchy tunes of Ye Olde Game Era and dishonored’s  goth harpsichord steampunk shit…like i could never really TRULY pick - actually the very first time i ever used a computer it was to visit websites about zelda and listen to the music online - and before that i used to run chrono cross and kingdom hearts on the title screens/opening cinematics for hours just to listen, like before i really knew there was like, online music. man. so much. i love everything

19. Favorite handheld console?

gameboy advance sp, hands down. gameboy advance had the best/most games that i love, could also play regular gameboy games, and the sp had a BACKLIGHT so you could play in the dark. i used to play the original tetris every night to fall asleep on mine. 3DS is a close runner up but you just can’t fit that thing in your pocket the way you can an SP

27. Game that makes you rage?

i fuckin hate super smash bros melee. YEAH I SAID IT LOL like… ok everyone says it’s sooo good and they RUINED smash after that but like, i main pikachu? and they nerfed the FUCK out of pikachu in melee. so i could never win. and it was a horrible teenhood i had growing up playing that shit. brawl was like ten zillion times better. i still lost a lot but i was because i sucked not because the game sucked. melee worshippers can kiss my ass

also, as i was recently reminded, the fight sections of mirror’s edge. fucking bullshit

and a special award to life is strange for having the WORST ending to a NEARLY PERFECT GAME of ALL TIME

39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?

UNDERTA– no sorry. sorry. sorry i’m not gonna say it

ok uhhhhh honestly? my main answer is: any zelda sequel. like all the games take place hundreds or thousands of years apart with different characters and timelines…save for like the oracle games, mm & oot, and then like TECHNICALLY phantom hourglass…i would really just like to see an honest to god sequel in the same continuity. more throwbacks. i lost every bit of my shit when [someone from skyward sword] sorta-kinda made a cameo in botw. it’s everything i want

my other answer is: golden sun 4. we had to wait a literal decade for golden sun 3 and then it ENDS ON A CLIFFHANGER ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? im still lowkey mad abt it. idk if it’ll EVER happen

41. A genre that you just can’t get into?

i’m actually pretty flexible when it comes to genre? i’ve tried & liked: platformers, adventure games, open world, dating sims, stealth, shooters, QTEs, RPGs, racing, music/beat timing, whatever the hell genre animal crossing and harvest moon are…but like the one thing. i cannot do. is real-time strategy. it’s just too boring rip

also, i dislike playing online against other people bc they are usually jerks lol

69. In your opinion, best game ever made? 

that’s such a hard one!! it’d be easy to say ocarina of time because it holds such a special place in my heart, but just because it’s special doesn’t mean it’s the most fun or satisfying to play. the best game EVER made would have to have it all - great gameplay, a good amount of story that isn’t too sparse, a catchy and memorable soundtrack, lovable characters, lots and lots of replay value, and excel in online/dlc if that’s a thing, good voice acting/graphics if that’s a thing, no ragequit sections…like i could easily just name the zelda game that comes closest but i wanna be as objective as possible here…

ok i’m gonna go with two categories - 2D games & 3D games - bc they are such different beasts

for 2D im gonna have to say chrono trigger…some places are really frutstratingly hard, but not ragequit hard, and level grinding can be a BIT repetitive but the story, characters, cast, & music are all top notch, and with all the different endings + new game plus you could play it over and over and still have things to do

then for 3D…mmmm see this is hard because like nothing meets ALL of those requirements…portal 2 and okami both have very satisfying stories and wonderfully addicting gameplay that varies up often, but not a lot of replay value…breath of the wild and dragon age inquisition both have amazing story/gameplay balance and near-infinite replay value, but i have a few major nitpicks with both stories, and none of the games i mentioned have online play. i think in the end my nitpicks with zelda’s story and direction are pretty minimal + i have a personal loyalty to the series, so i’d go with breath of the wild.

70. Very first game you ever beat? 

you know, i actually can’t remember for sure! i suspect it was either majora’s mask or link’s awakening - funnily enough it was years before i first beat ocarina on my own.