#i sometimes get comments on a shitty little drabble i wrote years ago

[the-nefarious-vampire]

people who never comment on fics will never know the joy of checking your history and seeing that your favorite author responded. sucks to suck tho lol

[babybirdgyeom]

bambam: “what do you think?”

pairing: bambam & reader

prompts: “i’ll wait through your phases.” & “i have loved you since we were 18.” & “it’s time for you to ask me out.”

genre: angst, fluff, friends to lovers

word count: 2.5k

summary: bambam and you were friends. at least that’s what you thought until one lonely night on top of a rooftop. 

note: this is a requested drabble i wrote for my follower special (find it here). also, highly inspired by prettymuch’s “phases”.

The city looked beautiful, the light rain didn’t disturb you at all, if anything it made your little hometown look even more beautiful. The view from the rooftop of the parking garage next to your house always was one of your favorite things about this town ─ your mother was always insisting you spent to much time up here but it holds so many magical memories, nothing could calm you down like the familiar comfort of looking at the skyline from here.

Basically, to say it in the easiest way possible, you had a bad day. One of many, but today it hit differently. A part of you was mad at yourself for thinking that he was actually serious about the two of you when there were so many red flags. You weren’t even sure if you liked him but now that he ditched you loneliness was once again your best friend. The other part of you, the one that was more dominant, made you feel sorry for yourself.

God, why was it so hard to find a decent guy in your town? All the good guys were either in a relationship, not interested or too close to you to risk ruining your friendship with them.

So, there you were, lovesick over some fool that certainly was not good enough for you, sad music on full volume in your ears, feeling empty all alone on the top of your city. This sure would be a good scene for a dramatic teenage movie. 

You were a bit startled when you suddenly realized a tall figure beside you, disturbing you while you were drowning yourself in self-pity, until you saw who it was ─ Of course, he’d find you. After all, Bambam always came to your rescue.

“So, it’s over I assume?”, your friend asked you, sitting down right beside you. He handed you a hot pack so you wouldn’t freeze, knowing exactly you forgot yours. It was almost scary how good he knew you by now.

Nodding, you took out your headphones, “Big surprise, right?”

His legs were dangling off the high building, they were so much longer than yours, it was ridiculous. You looked at him and he gave you a small but reassuring smile.

“Why didn’t you call me?”, he asked you, sounding a bit disappointed.

“I knew you’d find me.”, you joked but you couldn’t hide the sadness in your voice.

“You didn’t hide very well.”, he chuckled, scooting a bit closer to you to hug you, “You shouldn’t be sad about him, he smelled bad anyways.”

It was very rare to see Bambam like this ─ sincere, serious, maybe even a bit worried about you. Mostly he was the complete opposite ─ loud, active, a pain in the ass, but at least a lovely one.

Resting your head on his shoulder, you sighed, “I’m not even sad. I’m just lonely.”

Shaking his head, he sighed, “That’s what you get from involving yourself with guys like them. I told you before.”

You knew he didn’t mean it in a mean way and you also knew he was right about it but you weren’t in the mood to listen to these kind of lectures right now. There were only few things you hated more than Bambam’s lectures, the worst part about them was that he was always in the right. 

Bambam surely belonged to the type of guys who were too close to you to be something more. Still, it sadly was more complicated than that. The two of you met at a party several years ago and that day, things were more than friendly.

You still remember how attracted you were to those long legs and to his fashion choices, his plump lips and, probably most of all, his personality. He was, and still is, the funniest and most carefree person you have ever met and you couldn’t help but be unbelievable attracted to him. And luckily, he seemed to feel the same way.

Even though it feels like a lifetime ago, you still remember that evening exactly. You never could forget how his lips felt on yours, how smoothly his hands wandered all over your body, how good his body felt on yours. His jokes made you laugh, his flirting made you feel almost flustered and his hands made you feel craving more. Back then, he seemed like the perfect future boyfriend for you.

But after that night, the two of you somehow ended up as friends. He insisted that both of you were way too young and wild to be in a serious relationship and you had too much potential to fuck up an amazing possible friendship for a messy love story. 

That’s how you two became friends and you knew he was right about what he said back then ─ without him as your friend you probably would feel beyond lost. But sometimes, for a second only you couldn’t help but wonder how things would’ve gone if you didn’t decide to be friends instead of lovers. 

“Thanks, I know I have terrible taste in men.”, you scoffed, giving him an annoyed glance, “No need to remind me.”

“You do.”, he said, almost cold and you wondered what was going on. Something was definitely bothering him but you knew he hated to talk about his feelings.

“Okay, dude.”, you said, repositioning yourself to be able to look at him without hurting your neck, “What the hell is going on with you?”

He knitted his eyebrows together, looking at you in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“Did you only come here to tell me how bad I am at dating?”, you asked a bit sharp, not being in the mood to be judged by your best friend.

Rolling his eyes, he let out a long sigh, “Yes, of course. I just came to make you feel more terribly, sounds just like me, right?”

While you usually thought he was beyond funny when he was being sarcastic, this time he had a way too serious undertone to it. It was unlike him to come at you, especially when you were down so you a weird feeling came creeping up in your stomach, not sure if it was anger or sorrow. 

Not wanting to fight, you pressed your lips together into a thin line, “Look, Bambam. Let’s not do this tonight. I’ll go home, okay? Thank you for looking out for me.”

Just as you were trying to get up, he snapped at you, making you freeze immediately. 

“Just stop running away from your problems for once.”, he said, raising his voice but instantly regretting it ─ you could see the regret in his eyes and you weren’t mad at him, you were just wondering what made him so mad. After all, even Bambam was allowed to have his bad days, you just wished he’d talk to you. 

For a second there was an uncomfortable silence between the two of you, no one knowing how to handle this rather unusual situation. You don’t remember him ever raising your voice at you before and it seriously made you feel terrible.

“I’m sorry.”, he broke the silence first, his voice now quiet and soft again, “Seriously, I shouldn’t have shouted.”

Nodding, you felt your tense body relaxing a bit again, sitting back down, “Why do you think I’m running away from my problems?”

Shrugging, his eyes were glued to the skyline of the city, “I just got frustrated, I didn’t mean that. I promise.”

Now you were the confused one. He still didn’t seem normal again, so you decided to find the roots of his problem, “What are you frustrated about? If you don’t want to listen to my constant complaining anymore I’ll stop, seriously. I thought you wouldn’t mind.”

For a second he closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath, “You could complain all day and I’d still love to listen to every word. I’ve just been thinking lately and I let it out on you, that wasn’t fair.”

“Bambam, please, don’t make me beg you to tell me what is going on.”, you said, your shoulder brushing his, “What have you been thinking about?”

“It’s stupid.”, he said but also knew that he had to tell you because you wouldn’t let it go until he talked to you, “Somehow, I can’t stop thinking about the day we met lately. I try to push these thoughts away, but they keep on coming back.”

He looked so discouraged, it almost broke your heart. If there was one thing your heart couldn’t take it was seeing him sad or hopeless, especially not if you were the reason for it. It was terrible to see him so frustrated.

“I think about it too every now and then, what’s so bad about it?”, you ask him, trying to encourage him. Of course, you thought about it too, there was nothing bad about it, “It happened before we became friends and honestly, it was a fun night, it’s only normal to think about it.”

“No, I don’t think you understand.”, he said, once again not daring to look at you, “I know you’re not mine of course, but it feels like even though you’re not, I’m still yours.”

His words felt like a dagger right in your heart, not knowing how to respond, not even sure what exactly he was trying to say, it sounded like he tried to confess to you but considerating your relationship to each other you highly doubt it, there was no way Bambam caught feelings for you, not the guy who decided to become your friend instead of your lover many years ago.

“Bam.”, you said softly, daring to take his hand to make him feel calmer, “You have to be a bit more precise in order for me to understand.”

Finally, he looked at you, his expression seemed desperate and you truly have never seen him like this. In front of you wasn’t your funny and supportive best friend, no, in front of you was a handsome but very hurting man.

His gaze shifted from your eyes to your lips, then to your hands.

“I never minded you trying to find yourself, dating shitty men, comforting you when someone hurt you, you know? I always thought that I’ll wait through your phases. But I don’t want you to watch getting hurt anymore.”, he said, taking a small break from his speech before scoffing, “God, some alcohol or a cigarette to calm down would truly be appreciated right now.”

You chuckled at his comment, after all, he was still the same guy even when he was pouring his heart out. Still a little bit confused you dared to be a bit blunt, “You’re saying that you like me?”

“Yup.”, he said with a little scoff, shrugging but still not letting go of your hand, “Actually, I love you. I have loved you since we were 18.”

You felt a little butterfly in your stomach, followed by another one and yet another one until your whole stomach was feeling tingly. While this was very unexpected and you certainly didn’t know how to respond at all, you couldn’t help but feel good. It was surprising and you never would’ve thought that deep down, Bambam actually liked you but it somehow made so much sense to you ─  the two of you definitely would be a powerful couple and basically have acted like one for forever and, obviously, you have been attracted to him from the start. 

Your mind was filled with a thousand thoughts and you were not really able to catch a single one of them, all of this seemed so sudden but so expected at the same time and you couldn’t explain what you were feeling even if you tried.

Looking into his eyes, you felt nothing but pure admiration for him.

“I don’t want to destroy our friendship.”, he suddenly said, clearly panicking.

You shushed him, wanting to say something but he wouldn’t let you, continuing to panic.

“Back then I said we should become friends rather than lovers because we weren’t ready for something serious but sometimes I feel like I regret that and I just-”

Once again you shushed him, hoping he’d calm down so you could say something. His babbling was cute and you appreciated that he tried to explain the situation but you really wanted to tell him that he has nothing to worry about.

“I hope we can stay friends even though this-”, he once again started, looking nervous but you decided it was about time to stop him.

Without thinking about it twice you moved closer to him, your lips finding his just to make him shut up, knowing this would probably be the only way he’d stop talking. It took him a second to understand what was happening but as soon as he realized that it was fine, you felt his hand in your hair while his lips worked his magic on yours. The kiss was intense and slow, his lips still as soft as you remembered them. His scent was obfuscating you and all of those little butterflies came back to your stomach.

He deepened the kiss, not wanting this moment to pass even though both of you were dying to talk about the situation, this came first. He put a bit more pressure into it, his second hand finding its way to your lower back, gently pushing you closer to him. You wouldn’t have thought that you ever got the chance to kiss him again but you definitely were happy about it.

“Bambam.”, you said while taking a breath but he didn’t stop kissing you. 

Chuckling into the kiss, you freed yourself from him. He looked at you and gave you a small smile, “What do you think?”

“I think it’s time for you to ask me out.”, you said grinning.

[bleedingcoffee42]

Casablanca AU

This is all @lonepiper5758 ‘s fault for mentioning a Notorious AU which I quickly jumped on and then jumped to Casablanca because of Ingrid Bergman.

 I still don’t know who is going to be Lazlo.   So for now his name is the filler and this could go in any direction.   As always.  Just drabbles here so I can get it out of my head.  Going with the Royai version, but I’m getting my friendly flirty Hyuroi in there too.   This song shall be my choice for As Time goes By because dammit is is one of the lyrics and I do love this song.

xxxxxxxx

“Lazlo needs to leave the country and he needs papers to do so.”  Hughes said and refilled his drink from the bottle on Roy's desk.

“Why would I help him?”  Roy asked and leaned back in his chair as Hughes leisurely sat on his desk swinging his leg and helping himself to his private stash of bourbon.    “Where would I get official documents like that?”

“You tend to like your lost causes and underdogs.”  Hughes set a shot glass in front of Roy and then refilled his own.  “You also tend to get involved in conspiracies like this by nature of your business.”

“I run a bar.  My Mom's bar.”  Roy said and lifted the glass and looked up at Hughes.  “I'm also not hiring you as a bartender after you get fired for your shitty investigation techniques if you can't figure out how to fill these glasses with equal amounts of booze.”

Hughes's glass was almost overfilling, almost.  He carefully slurped some bourbon off the top before throwing the rest into his mouth.   He watched Roy's eyes the entire time trying to see if he was hiding anything.  “I walked in today and was shocked,  shocked, that this establishment was hosting some form of illegal gambling.  I mean once you open the doors to that then it becomes known that you will deal in just about anything. Like smuggling or travel documents.”

Roy smirked.  Hughes's sarcastic comments got louder the more he drank.   Roy picked up a brown envelope and held it up in front of his face.  “By the way, here are your winnings.”

Hughes grinned and set the glass down to take the envelope.  “Got a wife and kid to feed.”

Roy studied the man sitting on his desk and lifted his glass and observed. “It's half full.”

“See you're a 'half full' kinda guy.” Hughes replied.  “Which is why you would help this Lazlo guy escape.  So he could maybe change the world.  Stop the next war.   Get back to his family.”

Roy cocked his head.   “Must you dance around this topic all night?  I do have to open for business eventually.”

“I am an incredible dancer.”

“You dance like you borrowed your body and haven't figured out how to use it yet.”  Roy countered.

“You bitter asshole, someday you're going to fall in love and get yourself a wife and then you won't be able to resist going out and making a fool of yourself with her.” Hughes snorted and to his surprise he saw a  flicker of sadness in Roy's eyes.   There had been someone.  

“You're already taken.”  Roy said and puckered up and blew a kiss before drinking his half-shot of bourbon.  

“Speaking of wives, Lazlo is rumored to be traveling with someone.  I don't think it's too much of a leap to assume it's his wife.”  Hughes said.  

“Don't you have people that you work with that you should be discussing this with?”  Roy asked and set the shot glass down.   “I'm running the local gambling and drinking establishment that you suspect of being a haven of illegal dealings and operations.   Why are you bothering me with this, you're the police chief?”

“It's good for business to cooperate with the local police.”  Hughes smiled.

“Maybe you should go back to work so I can start doing my job.” Roy stood up and  Hughes leaned towards him.

“Everyone is looking for Lazlo. Everyone.   Be careful with this one Roy, you have no idea how far up the chain this goes.   I'm not asking you to turn him in, just turn him away.”

“From what you're saying, I'm the only one who can help.”  Roy saw Hughes wink before jumping off his desk and straightening out his uniform.   “So I might as well sign his death certificate before delivering him to you.  I hear there's a reward too.”

“We both know you won't do that.   You soft-hearted bastard.”  Hughes picked up his hat off the desk and lowered his voice.  “Just...be careful.  I don't want you mixed up in this one.”

“Go to work Hughes.”  Roy said and buttoned up his shirt and  straightened out his loose tie to prepare for the evening.   “I don't have any damned papers.   They have no reason to come to me.”

“Have a good night, Roy.”  Hughes said and put his hat on.  

Roy watched him leave then turned to his mirror and tied his bow tie.   So much for being a neutral party here.  Those papers Hughes was hunting for were currently stashed in an old cookbook in the kitchen.  Yoki had come in last night, panicked and looking to 'store' them somewhere for a small fee.   At least he got payment up front as now Yoki was dead and Hughes was trying to find where those damned papers were.  

Xxxx

“Miss Riza?”  Catherine lit up and went over to hug the woman she never thought she would see again.   “Is it really you?”

“Yes, Catherine.”  Riza felt her rib cage scream as Catherine hugged with all the power of the Armstrong family.  “How are you?”

“Great!   Remember Jean?” Catherine grinned and showed her her wedding ring.   “We got married last year!  He works for Roy now and I get to play here instead of those stuffy pretentious music halls.  I love it!”

“Married?”  Riza said and sure enough there was a ring on her finger.   She never thought Jean would make it past the first date, but good for him.  “Congratulations!”

“He took off his shirt to help me move the piano and I just...was smitten.”  She said and sat back down at the piano.  “He's amazing.  I had no idea he was hiding that body under his shirt.   I love a man who can really take care of himself, you know?”

Riza didn't understand the Armstrong family at all but she wasn't going to admit that.   Havoc was probably still shocked by it.   He seemed resigned to just flirting with her and working the bar for Roy, but something clearly changed. Good for him.   “How's Roy?”

“Still keeps himself in shape.  I think it's because he doesn't sleep and needs something to do.   Nice abs, but no where near the broad shoulders and muscle mass of Jean. Plus, he's short.”  Catherine said and then looked at her.  “Oh, you mean is he married?”

“I...”  Riza wasn't sure what she really wanted to know.  “Is he well?”

“Well he's OK.”  Catherine said.   “For an alcoholic.”

Riza could hear her change in voice. “You want me to leave him alone?”

“You broke his heart Miss Riza.” Catherine said.   “I'm sure you had your reasons...but you didn't have to see what it did to him.   So...I'm glad you're well but you made your choice.”

“I did.”  Riza said and toyed with the small candle on the table.   “Just one song before I leave?”

“I can do that.” Catherine said and saw the sad smile.  “Just not that one.”

“Please?  Play it Catherine.”  Riza said softly.  “Play it for me.”

Catherine wished she couldn't remember that night so easily, Riza and Riza dancing as he sang to her.   Madam dimming the lights so everyone only saw them on the dance floor, lost in each others smiles and eyes.   Roy singing like he used to, with a voice that would melt anyone who heard it.   The entire bar stopped to listen and watch as two people fell in love.   Then furlough was over and they went back to war.   Eventually Roy came home, broken and without the woman he fell in love with.  

“Please?   I...just need to hear it one last time.”  Riza said and felt herself get misty eyed.  “I'll leave after.”

Catherine grudgingly laid her fingers on the keys and started to play that song from that night long ago. That song that she hadn't played since.   The patrons went about their business not knowing the significance of the song but she could feel Havoc's eyes on her from the bar.  

“Sing it?”  She asked.  The song was something she had never heard set to music before and not heard since.  It was  something Roy had written.   She could see Catherine struggling with it but eventually she closed her eyes and her voice filled the bar.

“Sometimes there are days one has to go....”  Catherine hadn't though about the words to  this song in years.  And now she wondered if it was an explanation from Riza as to why she left Roy.  “Turning his back on what is precious...”

Riza could feel the lump in her throat as she heard the words.   It wasn't Roy's voice but she could still hear it in his.  Feel him close to her, singing softly in a private serenade as they danced too close in front of all those people.

“Men are sad creatures, huh?” Catherine's voice got a little louder, it was hard to not get into singing the song.   Roy wasn't here, he'd never have to know.  This song he wrote, seemed so personal now.  He wrote it while he was at war.   He wrote it to express himself and try to remain human in an inhuman situation.   “Dragging weight that can't be extinguished on their backs.”

Riza blinked, her eyes were getting damp.   They had talked about what they had done, about the weight of their actions.   They had found each other during the worst time in their lives and he had shown her the light of hope at the end of it all.   He understood they could never made amends for what they did, understood when she said they would carry the dead on their backs forever.  

“Boy, embrace your ambition...” Catherine's voice carried.  No going back now.  She could feel the passion and pain of the songwriter and wanted to understand him better.    “If you possess darkness in your right hand.....and dreams in your left hand...”

Fools.  Naive idiots thinking they could protect people.  Thinking they were doing the right thing when all they were doing was killing people for a government that never cared about right or wrong.   And him, the dreamer.  The dream still existed in him, he wanted to change things.  Roy Mustang hadn't lost himself entirely and that was why she was so drawn to him.  A humble hero and a battered idealist, but not a broken man.   Not until....she broke him.

“Wowow, My Train in rain is the vision waving its hand Time goes by a memory of that person?

Drown out the screams”

Roy walked into the bar and was met with the chorus of a song he wrote, a song he never wanted to hear again.  Enraged he stormed over to the piano immediately and slammed his hand down on it and hissed.  “God dammit I told you to never play that again.”

Catherine stopped immediately and watched his face change as he looked past her to see Riza.  Then his anger melted away and all she saw was pain.   She got up and pushed her stool in to retreat to the bar where Havoc was waiting.  

Riza couldn't believe how he still took her breath away, how he could still stir in her the emotions that made her stomach tighten and heart pound.   She couldn't even blink away the tears forming in her eyes, fearing he would vanish if she took her eyes off him for a second.  

Roy stared at her, the last person he thought he would see again.   Riza Hawkeye's beautiful face haunted him every night as he reached out for her and she vanished into thin air.   He never forgot a detail about her, not her big brown eyes welling up with tears or the way her lips pursed when she was trying to be strong.  It was the Riza he fell in love with, the one struggling to keep herself together despite the damned world trying to destroy her.   He fell in love with her strength and here she was, strong enough to sit in his bar and have that damned song played for her.