#i shouldn't have to go through this. she should have been allowed to stay. i wasn't ready then and i'm even less ready now and i want her.

[ybcpatrick]

.

[passiveagreeable]

just now remembering this. like full stop i don't think i've thought anything of this experience since a few days after it happened.

but more than a year ago. i was taking a bus from malaga to granada and one of the station employees came up to me (i was the last person in line to board the bus at this moment) and ask me if i could help out this gentleman (the station man's words precisely, he called him caballero) he was leading with him. and it was immediately evident that this guy was visually impaired or blind.

and well. i was like 'yeah of course' because yeah of course.

and i did, sort of. but i wasn't sure like, how far was too far. with helping. so i only helped minimally. and also i didn't immediately fess up that i didn't speak spanish natively, in fact i don't think i mentioned it at all. (maybe i said i was a student? i can't recall). which i should have said immediately so that he understood that if i said something wrong or weird, it wasn't me getting impatient with him or exasperated over assisting but simply low confidence in my imperfect linguistic grasp (and just overall low confidence, generally, extensively, but nevertheless). or so that i could have asked somebody else to help if he didn't feel comfortable with me and my incompetent ass, which would have been totally fair. i probably should have said that from the get go, really, but it felt like it might have come off as me trying to brush off the task and trying to make excuses to get out of it. yeeeeah, so the two of us basically stood there in silence except when i had to give verbal directions for like "walk forward" "stop" "there's stairs" etc. which were overall pretty stilted, i think.

also, he got off the bus just fine but then i wasn't sure if he wanted help from there, so i let him alone. i'm sure he could have gotten out of the building without issue eventually, but it was taking him a bit of time with the layout, to find the door from the bus stall, whatnot, and everyone was giving him weird looks. which really just rubbed me the wrong way, so after maybe 15 or 30 seconds, i did go up to him and offer to assist him again. so i got him to the taxi area and into a taxi, if i'm remembering the events correctly.

simultaneously a nice experience and a super humiliating one. because like i am literally so👏 dumb👏 and i think way too much but i thought if i said something about not speaking spanish super fluently that i would get in trouble or something. so instead i probably made him feel terrible and was like suuuuuper awkward about helping him. like bitch, if you don't know, just ask what he wants you to do to help, holy fuck.

now i know better, but i would go back and slap myself right in the face if i had the chance.

[thebluester2020]

[GI] Kinktober Day 22: "Audience"

Summary: It's no secret that you were Pierro's prettiest and newest little toy. But so many rowdy recruits trying to see if they can play with you as well, Pierro has no choice but to show you that he's the only one who gets to play with you.

Warning(s): Public sex, Exhibitionism, Bimbo!Reader, Trophy wife!Reader, Lightly hinted that the Reader was bought, Praise Kink, Some hints on Infidelity (on the reader's side ngl), Throat-fucking,

Side Note(s): My guilty pleasure has always been trophy wives/husbands. I'm shocked I haven't done something like this sooner low-key.

Oh, it was just bliss being Pierro's pretty little thing on his arm!

Through Pierro's position of being the one who started the Fatui, all with the help of the honorable Tsaritsa, his influence was infinite. No one could touch him and, in turn, you. He had enough money to fund all of your silly little habits whether it was getting into the arts or wanting to clean out stores in the name of getting all the latest clothing items. Your sex life with him was mind-blowing, you've never left the bedroom without either being weak in the knees, absolutely shaking, or feeling as if the only name you could say much less think of was Pierro's.

Life was wonderful. But...as of lately, your husband has been more possessive than he usually would.

He kept mumbling things about "rowdy new recruits not knowing their places" or "them not having enough brain to know that they shouldn't touch his property". You hadn't thought there was a single thing wrong with the new recruits! They were so sweet to you each time you happened to find yourself out and about without Pierro by your side, which was often due to his duties. During those times, the recruits would immediately come up to you and greet you! Sometimes they'd place a hand on your lower backside or even kiss you so kindly on the cheek!

So many times have you gone over to the recruit barracks, they'd so sweetly keep you warm by wrapping their arms around you or even suggest that they all should share a bed with you so that you could truly stay warm.

You thought your silly husband was just being needlessly jealous.

The recruits were friendly and nothing more.

But...apparently, Pierro didn't see it like that. And he was far more jealous than you originally thought he was, to begin with.

. . .

The noises that were currently being forced from your lips were embarrassing, absolutely disgusting as you choked and gagged around Pierro's cock, currently positioned on your knees in front of all of Pierro's recruits regardless of they were old or new. It seemed that your husband catching you and a recruit being too handsy with one another was as big of a deal as you originally thought it would be! But, Pierro was content with showing you as well as alllll of his recruits, both old and new, exactly who his wife belonged to.

"Filthy slut...don't you know who you belong to?" Pierro growled to you, a furious glare in his stormy eyes as he looked down at you, his hand tangled in the strands of your hair as he pulled you back and forth on his cock, feeling his thick length bulge out in your throat while you were helpless to do nothing more than take it. "You see this, men?" Pierro then boldly addressed his recruits just as spit bubbles started to pop up at the corners of your mouth. Your eyes threatened to roll to the back of your head, the fact that you weren't allowed to pleasure of yourself nearly driving you insane in combination with the shame of having so many people watch your husband slut you out. "This is my wife. No matter how much she tries to whore herself out to you—" You gagged when his pace became more ruthless, your hands flying to try and stabilize yourself against his thighs.

"—she isn't to be touched. Unless...you want to end up like them." You weren't able to see what everyone had turned their eyes towards but...you were going to go ahead and assume that it was quite the sight. Your husband was possessive, if you were touched, the people who did so always mysteriously ended up missing the next day, the poor fellows!

But, you didn't have too much brain power to think about that at the moment. "Good fucking slut...all you're good for is being a brainless cock sleeve, eh?" Pierro groaned, out of breath as he then started to suck in his bottom lip, his thighs flexing as a sign of his approaching climax. He pushed his hips flush against your face, nearly blocking off your only remaining air source before he smirked at your tear-stained face. Your cheeks were beet red and your eyes wider than a doe's, he could almost see the hearts within' your pupils.

This was supposed to be a punishment not a reward.

"Tch, you're enjoying this aren't you, wife?" He hummed, his eyes beginning to flutter as he groaned at the way your throat squeezed around him. You moaned around him as he began to gently pat your head, immediately trying to press yourself closer to him like a dog who was enjoying attention from its owner. Your visible devotion to him made his cock twitch in your throat, his hand then moving to gently grip your head again before he resumed pulling you up and down his length, starting off at a steady pace before slowly increasing until he quietly cursed under his breath when he pushed you against his pelvis, his hairs tickling your face as you felt ropes of his cum shoot down your throat.

You stayed there for a couple of minutes until you were forced off his cock.

Once you took a few breaths, you had no sense of shame when you asked your next question— "...Do I get another reward, honey?" You giggled dumbly before you hitched up your dress, just enough for your husband to see the mess that was between your thighs. He was frozen for a beat or two before he smirked, he supposed the recruits wouldn't mind another show of witnessing who you belonged to.

[osaemu]

SHARING IS (NOT) CARING: PROFESSOR!DAZAI

✩ ‧ ˚. synopsis: he has to teach your class for the day, but there's no way either of you will be able to focus with you sitting in the front row.

contents: fem!reader. college AU. professor x student. not proofread and written in under five minutes. i forgot how to write dazai, whoops. i'll probably write more in this AU later on bc i think it has potential. -1K words.

professor!dazai is well aware that he shouldn't be romantically involved with a student, but justifies it to himself by reasoning that you're not in his class, so it should be okay. even though your university's policy allows teacher-student relationships if they aren't in the same field, he still tries to keep it mostly a secret—after all, he wouldn't want to risk anything on your part.

but one day, your professor's absent, and luckily (or not), dazai's the only one available to step in for the day. imagine his surprise when he realizes that the class he hesitantly agreed to sub for today was your class, and as luck would have it, you sit in the front row.

"alright, class, i don't really know what you're supposed to be doing, but—"

"there should be an outline on the desk, sir," the girl next to you pipes up, smiling bashfully at dazai. he pauses and nods at her gratefully, doing his best to not make eye contact with you as he skims over the outline. you're equally as unsure as he is, because you never expected to be in this situation: with your boyfriend as your actual professor, even if it was just for a day.

"oh, great, i have to give a lecture," dazai grumbles, holding the papers in the same hand that's also holding a cup of steaming hot coffee. he sighs, eyes professionally surveying the room before finally settling on you. "would you mind giving me a quick summary of whatever you're supposed to be learning today?" he asks, hiding his little smile behind the cup of coffee he presses to his lips.

you nod, but right before you open your mouth, the girl next to you speaks up again. "i can do it, professor," she offers, beaming at dazai as if she's the personification of joy and happiness. and it's almost comical, the way dazai barely spares her a glance before returning his attention to you.

so you give him a brief summary of what your actual professor had said your class would be covering today, and dazai nods along, eyes focused intently on the outline in his hand. when you finish speaking, he stays quiet for another second before shrugging and sitting down at the teacher's desk. "i'll just find a video on it, 'cause i don't know enough to teach the subject. and honestly, i don't want to, either."

as expected.

twenty minutes go by with some youtuber's monotone voice droning on in the background, but instead of studiously taking notes (like you should be doing), you find yourself staring at dazai instead. his eyes are fixed on his phone, and it's a mystery to everyone in the room as to what he's doing. it's only when you pick up your own phone to check the time do you see a bunch of missed messages from him:

osamu: this class is so boring

osamu: how do u sit through this every. day.

osamu: i'm already falling asleep wtf

osamu: babe answer me :(

osamu: do you hate me :( if not answer me :(

you bite your lip in a futile effort to hide the smile that's threatening to grow on your lips, which would be suspicious, considering that there's practically nothing to smile about in this dull lecture hall.

you: shut up i'm trying to focus

dazai shoots you a subtle grin from his spot up front and replies quickly enough to make you wonder if all this time, he's just been staring at your name on his phone.

osamu: ik you're not paying attention

osamu: play me in 8 ball

you: no

"you in the front," dazai calls from his desk, clearly directing his voice towards you. he raises an eyebrow coyly, and continues, "shouldn't you be taking notes?"

the girl next to you snickers, not seeming to catch the look you give her. dazai clears his throat and looks at you pointedly, obviously trying not to show his amusement.

"okay," you mutter, shooting dazai a vicious death glare. he winks back at you, a teasing smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"what was that?" he asks in response, pretending not to have heard you. it's embarrassingly obvious that he's just messing with you, and you wonder why you ever agreed to date this man in the first place—of course he'd pull something like this the one day he gets to have authority over you.

"yes, professor," you say with a witheringly forced smile. dazai's smile turns uncertain as he dips his head in reply and instantly picks up his phone.

osamu: i'm sorry pls don't make me sleep on the couch

you: i won't :)

you: you'll be out on the porch tonight :)

osamu: wait no

osamu: i love u

osamu: pls don't do this to me ilysm

"hey," the girl next to you whispers, drawing your attention away from your phone and to her uncomfortably close voice. "isn't professor dazai hot?"

she's not a quiet whisperer, and something about dazai's forcibly calm expression makes you certain that he can hear every word. "i guess," you answer noncommittally. hopefully, your tone doesn't betray how close you are to clawing out your eyes.

"do you think he's single?"

"no. and even if he was, i doubt you'd be his type," you reply with a sickeningly sweet smile. dazai coughs into his arm, obviously trying to hide the laugh he had just choked out. the girl's eye twitches, and you hold your smile until she rolls her eyes and looks away.

osamu: ur so funny i'll kms

you: ur still sleeping on the porch.

osamu: babe :(

[ephemeral--dreams]

Making you cry during a fight (2) - Scaramouche, Yae, Kaeya

Okay guys here you go never ask me for anything ever again /j

(part 1)

☆ ☾ ☆ ──────────────────

Scaramouche

There's a sort of deep, instinctive fear that takes root inside the place where a heart would be, as he watches tears fall after a few too-harsh words. 

He's hurt you. He's been careless, he's been too difficult, too much - and it's going to drive you away. You're going to abandon him because of this incident, surely. Why would you stay with someone who makes you cry? 

It's… it's not a feeling he's dealt with for many years. The fear of being left. He has not allowed anyone to get close enough to him to have any concern over whether they're around or not. Scaramouche had learned his lesson about getting attached and having emotion, after all. He had spat out whatever  bitter words he pleased and felt nothing when he upset anyone he spoke to.

But those days are past, and while that's a good thing in many ways, right now it feels anything but. 

"I-"

"Sorry. I shouldn't be crying," the way you apologize as if you're the one in the wrong stabs right through him. You're the one crying, yet he is being wounded just as much. It's an awful thing, caring. "Just. Just give me a moment…"

Scaramouche hesitates. He's paralyzed, caught up in the idea that anything he does or says may make things worse. But what wins out is the idea of fixing it, fixing things before you give up on him—

"Stop it. You shouldn't be the one saying sorry here. I shouldn't have said that to you, alright? You should know better than to take everything I say so seriously, honestly, I-" he sighs, irritated with himself more than you, before pulling you into his embrace. You don't pull away. Good. Maybe he hasn't entirely fucked things up. "...I didn't mean it. Sorry."

Yae

Yae Miko is not the sort of person who yells during a fight. Or at any time, really. So that hadn't been at all what had happened during your little conflict. 

Rather, her words were pointed to hit where it hurt, an attempt to shut down whatever silly human nonsense you thought was worth causing a riot over. Problems came and went, and most weren't nearly as important as they may seem in the moment. Living many years had led her to this conclusion. She was a busy woman who had little interest in wasting her time arguing. 

...Calculating and perhaps dismissive she may be, but she isn't cold. Yae still very much has a heart, and it skips a beat when she realizes you're nowhere to be found at the usual time she would meet with you after finishing her shrine duties. Surely you weren't that upset over it all, right? 

No, you couldn't be still lingering on the issue hours later… 

Well, you could. Others were far more sensitive to these things, a fact she often forgot. Yae should know better. Isn't she used to highly emotional people, after all? At least your tantrums weren't going to practically destroy the nation…

She finds you at the foot of the mountain, sitting and idly staring into the distance. The tear tracks on your face are all too telling. 

Yae is not above realizing when she has done something wrong. Though she's also not one to openly apologize. She doesn't do much of anything openly. 

"You don't listen to me," you tell her. 

"Well, I'll try to listen more, then. Is that satisfactory?" She offers a hand to you. You wait a moment before taking it, allowing her to pull you up. "Just remember to consider my side of things as well. We can work on it… But let's not linger on this too long. Time is fleeting for mortals like you, hm?"

Kaeya

Kaeya is excellent at one thing - avoidance. In fact, he's been successfully avoiding you ever since your fight a couple of days ago. It's easier to simply wait until you've both cooled off. 

That's what he tells himself. It's certainly not  that the fight made him feel anxious. He's not running away from his problems, of course not.

(He's lying to himself. One wrong word and you'll leave. He knows that. It's bad enough that you had an argument, archons forbid he confronts you and it's the last straw.)

So Kaeya carefully stays out of your way, doesn't speak to you, doesn't let you catch sight of him. He'll have to deal with things eventually, he knows, but… Until then, he's content to keep things this way. Four days in you finally seek him out yourself, looking exhausted and absolutely miserable. 

"Can we- can we stop fighting? You're right, I'm wrong, all that-" He can only watch as you start breaking down in front of him, a cold, sinking feeling of guilt settling in. "...Just stop ignoring me, please?"

His life has been filled with bad decisions - it seems that he's made yet another, by avoiding you so long. Now Kaeya is faced with your tears as you practically beg for his attention. It's quite the opposite of what he intended. He reaches a careful hand to brush them away. "Shh, shh. No more, alright?"

You sniffle, looking up at him. "You're not mad at me?"

"Of course not, sweetheart. I never was. We can talk about it later, okay? Let me make you feel better."

[libraryofgage]

Harlequin Prince

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One Harley Quinn One (you're here!) 10th Doctor and Rose (on the way! might take a little, I have plans for this one) Scooby Gang (there are also plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz)

I'm a simple woman who believes Steve deserves to be a little unhinged sometimes, and having Harley Quinn as a mother is the perfect excuse to make that happen lol

Anyway, I know I haven't updated some of my other series in a hot minute; I've just been busy with work and a little sick ngl

If you'd like to be tagged for any new parts in this series, let me know!

And, as always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)

-------

Steve's earliest memory is of being tucked into bed with a Batman night light plugged into the wall and his mother squeezed in next to him. She's wearing her softest pajamas, and Steve idly rubs the fabric under his thumb. In her lap is a huge book that she flips through, humming "Pop Goes the Weasel" under her breath before finally stopping on a page. "Okay, Dumplin', let's read about Narcissistic Personality Disorder," she finally says, wiggling some to get comfortable before clearing her throat.

Her voice is soft and a little nasally, and Steve obediently closes his eyes when she starts reading. After a few minutes, she gently cards her fingers through his hair, her palm warm as it slides over his scalp. Eventually, he drifts off, his dream so vivid that he still remembers the oversized hammers with their white doctor coats and floating clipboards.

The first time Steve's mother is sent (back) to Arkham, he doesn't realize anything is wrong until Uncle Bruce picks him up from school. Steve had been waiting long after the other kids were picked up by their parents, a misshapen pink-and-blue coaster for his mother that he made in art class in his hands, when one of Uncle Bruce's fancy cars pulled up to the school.

The passenger window rolled down, and Bruce looked almost pained as he met Steve's eyes. "Hop in," he said, leaning over to open the door from the inside.

Steve walked up to the door but didn't get in. "Mom said I should only go home with her," he said, "unless you know our secret code."

"Cognitive Behavioral Therapy."

Steve stood for a moment longer before nodding and climbing into the passenger seat. He closed the door, pulled on his seat belt, and carefully held the coaster in his lap. "Where's Mom?" he asked, watching as Bruce turned down the radio and slowly pulled away from the school.

"Your mother is....going to be away for a while," Bruce said, gripping the steering wheel tighter. "She did something bad, and now she's going to stay in time out because of it."

"Mom says you shouldn't dumb things down just because I'm young. She says it's not good for my development."

Bruce got a slight smile at that, his lips twitching up as he glanced at Steve. "Is that so," he said, his grip on the wheel loosening some. He seemed to think for a moment before saying, "Your mother blew up a warehouse. She was apprehended by Batman and has been sent to Arkham for a few months. Since I'm listed as your godfather, you'll stay with me until she's released."

Steve didn't reply. He just looked down at his coaster and wondered if he'd be able to convince his Uncle Bruce to visit Arkham so he could give it to her.

He did not, in fact, get to visit her at Arkham during that stint. But Steve did get to visit on her next one, which was almost three years later to the day. Steve's first visit to Arkham was on his 8th birthday, and he was chaperoned by Uncle Bruce and Nightwing (he wasn't allowed to call Dick by his real name when he was in costume, so Steve just didn't call him anything at all).

That was also the first time Steve truly experienced Arkham's lax security. Through no fault of his own (and he would continue to argue this point; how did two superheroes let an 8 year old wander off?), Steve had somehow ended up in another part of Arkham altogether.

This hallway had large cells with reinforced glass walls that allowed Steve to look inside. He could name most of the people he passed, recognizing Killer Croc and Riddler and the Penguin by his mother's descriptions of their defining features. Most of them tried talking to Steve, but he pushed ahead, eager to see if his mother was at the end of the hall.

She wasn't. Instead, Steve found another woman. She had green skin and bright red hair and Steve hadn't been able to contain himself. He'd practically squished his face against the glass and asked, "Are you Poison Ivy?"

"Oh, her he talks to," the Penguin said, his tone mean and his voice carrying.

Poison Ivy ignored him, choosing to instead open one eye from where she lay on the bed. She stared at Steve before sitting up. "Do I know you?" she asked.

"Nope! But my mom knows you. She talks about you all the time. She said you're the baddest badass to ever badass," Steve said.

"Oh. You're Harley's kid," Poison Ivy replied, walking over to the glass and crouching down to meet his gaze. "What are you doing all the way over here?"

"It's my birthday, so Uncle Bruce said I could see Mom."

"Well, happy birthday. Now, what are you doing here?"

Steve blinked, looked around the hall again, and realized for the first time that he was, in fact, a bit lost. "Uh, I'm not sure. I was with Uncle Bruce before."

A moment passed between the two of them in which Poison Ivy said nothing while Steve tried to remember how, exactly, he'd ended up here. When he came up blank, he simply shrugged and looked back at her. "Hey, you like plants, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, kid, I like plants," she said, her tone taking on the same inflection his mother's did when he asked something she thinks is obvious.

Steve didn't linger on the tone. Instead, he dug around in his coat pocket for a few seconds, pushing past candy wrappers and erasers until his hand closed around an acorn he'd picked up off the ground a few days ago. He pulled it out and presented it to Poison Ivy on his palm. "Is it still a plant if it fell off the tree?" he asked.

"Yeah," Poison Ivy said, her voice soft like she was staring at something unbelievable. Steve watched as a huge grin spread across her face, her eyes lit up, and she pressed her hands to the glass. "Can you do me a favor, Steve?" she asked.

"Sure! Mom said you're a person I should listen to," he said, starting to close his fingers around the acorn. Now that he was thinking about it, he didn't actually know how to give the acorn to her with the glass between them.

"Your mom is right. You should always listen to me. And her. But mostly me right now," Poison Ivy said, her gaze a bit softer as she looked at Steve. "So, go ahead and put the acorn on the ground and stand as far away as possible."

Steve didn't question her. Whatever Poison Ivy wanted to do would probably be fine. After all, Uncle Bruce didn't warn him about talking to her like he had about the Joker. So, Steve put the acorn down and hurried to the other end of the hall. "Now what?" he shouted.

The only response he got was the acorn shuddering, spinning across the floor, and then bursting open. In the blink of an eye, a tree grew, its roots breaking through the ground and its branches shattering the glass of Poison Ivy's cell. Steve was just thinking that was probably why Poison Ivy told him to stand back when she walked out, rolling her shoulders and breathing like the air is fresh.

She looked at Steve and walked over, standing in front of him for a moment before sweeping him into her arms. "Thanks, kid," she said, opening her hand and letting a tiny purple flower grow from her palm. She tucked it behind Steve's ear. "Now, let's go find your mom."

Of course, Poison Ivy's escape had set off numerous alarms, and Uncle Bruce just about fainted when he saw her carrying Steve while Nightwing looked two seconds from laughing. But Steve's mom had smiled so wide that her cheeks must have hurt after only two seconds when she saw them.

It was, by far, the best birthday Steve had ever had.

‐-----------------------------

Hawkins, Indiana, is...boring. Steve has only been in the town for a few weeks, and he's bored out of his mind. He could have been sent to Metropolis or Central City. Hell, he would have preferred Bludhaven to the absolute snoozefest that is Hawkins. But, no, Uncle Bruce insisted on somewhere safe, which means somewhere boring, which means...Steve will just have to make his own fun.

That's why he's found himself in a dive bar on the edge of town, sitting at the bar as the owner (a woman named Bev who definitely killed her husband; Steve would know, he's met plenty of women who definitely killed their husbands) refuses to give him anything alcoholic. "Listen, kid," she says, her tone hard and unyielding, "I can give you water, a Shirley Temple, or a permanent ban. Which do you prefer."

After a few seconds, Steve sighs, slaps way more money than is necessary on the bar, and says, "Gimme a Shirley Temple."

Bev nods, swipes up the cash, and starts making his drink. He watches her with a slight frown before looking away, noticing another boy his age wiping down a table. He looks, and Steve cannot say this affectionately enough, like a wannabe goon for a motorcycle gang. Between the bandana stuffed into his back pocket, his slightly frizzy hair falling to his shoulders, and the leather jacket/vest combo, the guy is the first reminder of home Steve has seen since arriving in this sleepy town.

When he notices the guy's shoulders tense, Steve looks away to keep from being caught staring. A Shirley Temple is placed in front of him, and Steve represses a sigh, missing the sounds of fights happening behind him as he drinks with Jason.

"Aren't you a little young to be hanging around here?"

Steve slowly takes a sip of his drink, the saccharine cherry flavor washing over his tastebuds, and glances at an older man a few seats down from him. He looks the man over, lingering on the half-tucked shirt, muddy loafers, and circles under his eyes. Without permission, his mother's DSM-V rushes through his mind, a blur of his mother's voice accompanying the page flips. They finally settle on "Adjustment Disorder," accompanied by his mom saying, "Sometimes, that's just a fancy term for a mid-life crisis, Dumplin'."

Without thinking, Steve asks in return, "Aren't you a little old to still be going through a mid-life crisis?"

In Gotham, that might get him a laugh, an eye roll, and possibly an elbow to the ribs from whichever friend accompanied him. Here, it gets him a tense silence that he only thought happened in bad movies gearing up for a fight sequence. Seriously, what is wrong with Hawkins?

"I'll give you one chance to apologize," the guy says, clearly thinking he's being sufficiently threatening.

It takes every ounce of Steve's self-control to keep from laughing at the guy. Does that usually work? Do people usually find this guy threatening? He's got nothing on Alfred, so Steve just can't bring himself to even fake intimidation.

"Yeah, don't hold your breath, man," Steve says, rolling his eyes as he takes another sip. The Shirley Temple isn't bad, but it's not what he was expecting, and it feels like just another disappointment atop a pile of them.

They're building in his chest, now that he thinks about it. Steve is slowly suffocating under the weight of them. They buzz in his lungs, surging through him until the energy is so overwhelming that he has to bounce his leg and tap his finger against his glass to expel some of it. He shouldn't have agreed to leave Gotham, or at the very least, he shouldn't have left the location entirely up to Bruce. Holy shit, that was a dumb decision. He ought to know better.

A sudden, annoyingly harsh drag of chair legs against the floor rings in Steve's ears, making his shoulders tense and his fingers twitch. He looks over to see the guy standing over him, glaring down at Steve like that's supposed to scare him when nothing else has.

Steve sighs, drinking the last of his Shirley Temple before standing. Over the guy's shoulder, he can see the boy his age watching them, and...well, Steve kind of wants to make a good impression on the first person to remind him of home. Plus, a fight sounds great. He'd love a chance to expel some of this disappointment-fueled energy.

The guy suddenly snorts, pulling Steve's attention back. "You're young, kid, so I'll let you off the hook this time around, but learn some respect."

What? Seriously? All of that, and the guy doesn't even start a fight? Does he know how rude that is? He'd get killed in Gotham. "Oh," Steve says, his voice flat, "you're scared of getting your ass kicked."

Somehow, that's what the guy considers the final straw. It wasn't even that good. Like, that's just fucking small talk in Gotham, and Steve can't bring himself to understand what about it was so infuriating that the guy swings his fist.

Either way, Steve happily embraces the fight. His eyes light up, and adrenaline rushes through his veins as he ducks and kicks the guy's left knee. The familiar sound of a bone snapping rings out. Steve's ready for more, hands curled into fists and held up to protect his face, when the guy drops.

After one kick, he drops. Steve blinks, staring down at the guy cursing and holding his knee. He slowly lowers his hands when he realizes this isn't some kind of fake-out diversion and looks at Bev behind the counter. She's frowning at him, hands on her hips, and Steve comes to the conclusion that bar fights are not, in fact, a thing in Hawkins. "Do they usually go down so easy around here?" he asks.

"They usually don't fight at all."

Oh. Holy shit, this place is boring.

Steve sighs and pushes some hair out of his face, frowning slightly. "Well, uh, sorry about the disturbance, then. I'll just...get going," he says, awkwardly pushing his chair in and doing the same for the guy whose kneecap he kicked. Nobody says anything as he leaves, and Steve shoves his hands into his jacket pockets, frustration and disappointment and homesickness building in him.

He's halfway to his car when somebody shouts, "Hey! Wait!"

With a huff, Steve stops and turns, his mood only lightening when he sees the boy that was wiping down tables. He waits patiently, watching as the boy runs up to him and holds out a wad of cash. "Bev said to give this to you," he says.

"What, is my money not good enough?" Steve asks, raising an eyebrow at the cash before looking up and meeting brown eyes.

"No, no," the boy says, "Bev only gives change to people she likes. She said you're welcome to come by and kick Phillip's ass whenever you want."

Steve blinks, studying the boy for any signs of lies. When he doesn't find one, he takes the cash and nods. "Good to know," he says.

"Yeah. Right. Um, I'm going back inside now."

"Hold on," Steve says, grinning when the boy listens and stands still. He takes a step closer, holds out his hand, and says, "My name's Steve. I'm new around here, if you couldn't tell."

The boy stares at his hand for a few seconds before taking it, the rings on his fingers pressing against Steve's skin. "Eddie. I could tell," he says, his shoulders relaxing some. "Where you from?"

"Gotham."

"Holy shit, no wonder you looked so ready for a fight," Eddie says, staring at Steve like he's incomprehensible. Steve tries not to preen under his gaze. "Hawkins must be dead compared to Gotham."

"Yeah," Steve agrees, glancing down at his and Eddie's hands still clasped together despite the handshake being over. "But I think I'll have some fun anyway."

[souliebird]

[[and then I met you || ch. 7]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to protect his new family from not only Hell's Kitchen but from the world.

pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

When you escaped your parents’ house and moved into the city for college, you already knew the basics of cooking. Since you had turned fourteen, it had been your responsibility to feed yourself. 'You are old enough to figure it out' was what your parents had told you. Living in the dorms didn't give you much opportunity to cook and when you finally had your own kitchen to really play around in, you didn't have the money to afford a full pantry. It was hard, but it never deterred you and you learned a couple of good recipes.

When Minnie came along and you were able to figure out her likes and dislikes, you made a few changes - you could finally afford to get all organic produce and bread not made from ninety percent sawdust and you started cooking even more because your little one didn't like things from a can. 

And despite what the experts and people online say, you give in to every one of Minnie's food whims. You don't want to force her to eat things she doesn't like. Your parents never listened to you, even if the food made you sick - you ate what was given to you or not at all. You are not going to do that to her and the rules you have come up with are she at least has to try something. If she doesn't like it, she doesn't need to eat it, and the past few months she's been pretty good at telling you why she doesn't like something. You don't always understand her reasoning, but you accept and tell her that she can try it again when she's bigger. 

Her favorite thing that you make is lasagna. You make it from scratch and she usually loves to help you and will spend all day excited for ooey-gooey cheese.

Usually.  

Today is not a usual day. Today your daughter is an upset little banshee. As soon as she woke up, she was in a bad mood. She didn't want to be touched at all and getting her dressed was a nightmare. Lots of 'no's and crying about how all her clothes were itchy until you finally allowed her to just wear her swimsuit. It was the only thing you could get her to stay in. You didn't even try with her hair, running your fingers through it to get out some knots, but that only lasted a full five seconds before she was running away from you.

You are trying to be patient with her - you know that something must be upsetting her, whether it be waking up on the wrong side of the bed or she's starting to get a cold and not feeling well. She doesn't know how to express herself beyond crying and you don't blame her. You want to cry when you don't feel well. 

That doesn't mean it isn't stressful for you. The back of your skull is throbbing from her screams and your own mood is sour because you don't know how to help. Hearing her so upset breaks your heart. 

Matt is supposed to come by, thus the homemade dinner, but part of you wonders if you should cancel. Minnie isn't going to calm down anytime soon and you would feel bad having him come over just to witness a tantrum. On the other hand, tantrums are a part of having a child. 

You decide to leave it up to him and send him a text letting him know Minnie is having a bad day. He quickly responds he still wants to come, so you return to working on your tomato sauce as quietly as you can.

Mouse has hidden herself under a throw blanket with her tablet and her plushies on the couch. You don't worry about her doing anything she shouldn't be - the tablet is child locked to hell and back - but it is a little hard to tell what she is doing since she's muted the tablet. There is an eerie purple glow coming from under the blanket, so you can guess she's playing one of her games. You've found a few that don't require sound that she enjoys - a few dress up games and matching things. 

Occasionally you hear her sniffle or mumble but she doesn't call for you, so you let her be. She didn't really nap today, so you're trying to avoid another meltdown. You are hoping when you remind her Matt is coming, it will help her mood. You're a little jealous he is obviously her new favorite person, but also you are so happy for it. 

Your original idea of taking things slow has been adjusted based on her reaction. You wanted to start talking to her about family today and build her up to the idea of having a dad, then have Matt over so she starts that association. That obviously is not going to happen. 

You finish up your prep and start to assemble the lasagna, laying sheets of pasta down before adding sauce and cheese then repeating the process until the pan is full. You made a little extra, with the intention of sending Matt home with leftovers. He had mentioned in passing that he doesn't get to cook much and living off take out is not ideal. 

The baking pan gets put into the oven and the timer is set, then you aren't sure what to do with yourself. It will take about an hour and Matt is scheduled to arrive then. 

You could do some cleaning, but with how Minnie is, you don't want to set her off. You know when she gets like this, any little thing can trigger her, so the best you can come up with is scrolling your phone. 

Still, you want to be with your baby, so you make your way to the couch. You keep your voice just above a whisper, knowing she's been itching at her ears all day, "Mouse, can I sit with you on the couch?"

You know she heard you based on the way the blanket moves. It takes a moment before you hear a tiny 'okay'.

You tuck yourself into the opposite corner and take out your phone to bring up something to look at. As soon as you start scrolling your feed, the glowing blanket mound starts moving towards you and you are easily overtaken by it. Minnie gets herself into your lap, still hidden away, then flops against your chest. You can feel her tablet against your thigh and you're pretty sure Scooby is jammed into your stomach, but as long as she's good, you're good. 

You keep an eye on the time as you flick through your phone. A majority of the news sites you follow are filling your feed with stories about the explosion in Connecticut. An uneasiness fills your stomach when you see the word 'attack' being thrown around. The headlines say they have determined the destruction was intentional and not an accident, though no one has claimed responsibility. Tony Stark gave some sort of press conference, so his face is all over your phone. 

You don't need this today, so you switch over to browsing some online shops. Minnie is getting too big for her winter coat, so you definitely need to get her one before the weather changes and prices go up. You'll have to get her approval before you make a final purchase, but it's good to check what is in the market. 

About twenty minutes before you are due to take the lasagna out of the oven, Matt texts you to let you know he is on his way. You confirm that you got his message, then gently run a hand over the mound in your lap, "Hey, sweetie. Dinner is almost ready. Do you remember what I said about dinner tonight?"

The blanket gets tugged and moved until Minnie can poke just the top of her head out. She squints at you, like she is judging you, before mumbling out, "Mister Matt is coming?"

You give her a soft smile, trying to comfort her in any way you can, "That's right, baby, Mister Matt is going to come over and have dinner with us."

She squirms in your lap, before flopping herself forward again and declaring, "I want juice."

"Okay, sweetie." 

You manage to gather her, her blanket, her tablet, and some plushies into your arms and get Minnie on your hip to carry her to the kitchen. You're an expert at doing things one handed and it only takes you a minute to make up a sippy cup. Once that is in her little hands, you deposit her into her seat at the dining table. You let her keep her blanket and toys, setting up Scooby and Pig so they are in the seat next to her and her tablet is on the table in front of her. 

She is indeed playing a dress up game and as she nurses her juice, she looks at each dress option for the character she's dressing. As she does that, you start to set the table around her. You can tell that despite the cuddles and quiet, your Mouse is still in a grumpy mood. You really, really hope that Matt will help her smile a little. 

Once everything is set, you check on the lasagna. It smells and looks delicious to you, and you take the sheet tray out a little early so it can start to cool. That gets Minnie's attention, and you can see her watching you out of the corner of your eye. She's stuck her fingers in her mouth, sucking on them as her eyes follow you around the kitchen.

You are so busy watching Mouse watch you, you don't keep track of the time and when there is a soft knock at the front door, you jump. 

You scurry to answer, putting your hand over your heart and telling yourself to chill out. You know who it is and why they are here, and you don't need to panic over it. It's just Matt, you tell yourself.

It's just Matt. 

You open the door and your breath catches. 

It is just Matt, but Matt is Matt, and he makes your heart pound in a different way. 

He's come right from work, so he's in one of his crisp, fitted suits. His hair is fluffed up, like he's run his fingers through it too many times, and he's got that permanent five o'clock shadow. He looks like some GQ model, standing in your doorway. 

Embarrassment runs through you. You're not nearly as dressed up as he is. Even on his casual days, he looks so fashionable and cool, and you are wearing biker shorts and a black T-shirt. You look by no means raggedy, but maybe you should have changed. Just because Matt can't see what you are wearing doesn't mean you can be a slob. 

"Hi," you eventually choke out and Matt's face lights up. 

"Hey there," he says back, then he's holding up a bottle of wine and smiling so sweetly, "I thought I'd try contributing this time and I figured you might need a glass." 

You can't help but flush. Today has been rather long and a glass of wine sounds amazing. You don't drink often, but he is right and a glass to unwind sounds perfect. 

"You're a saint," you praise, and step aside so he can come in. "How was your day? Oh, you can put your jacket and bag to your left. There's hooks about chest level." 

Matt thanks you, then reaches out to feel the wall. He finds the hooks quickly, then hangs his saddle bag before starting to remove his coat, "it was good. We were able to wrap up a few smaller cases - sometimes it just takes someone getting a lawyer for others to cave and do the right thing. Cheaper to just do the right thing than get sued and having to do it anyways, plus all the pay outs and fees."

"That is good," you hum, very much meaning it. You're glad those people got the help they needed. "You mentioned having a handful of cases, so that frees up your plate a little bit, right?"

Matt laughs a little, smile still wide, "A little bit. It's a nice change of things - we aren't hurting for paying clients, so we are going to try to take on a few more pro-bono things. We're getting into a nice groove - or so Foggy claims. He's leading that charge - making sure we aren't over working ourselves."

"I'll have to send him a thank you card," you tease, surprising yourself with it. 

"He'd like that, he'd get to lord it over me," he replies. Then he turns to you and steps forward, reaching out and finding your arm. He ghosts his fingers up until he oh-so-gently wraps them around your bicep and steps forward until you're a breath away from each other and you have to look down at his chest, so you are not staring at your own reflection in his glasses. His voice drops to something quiet and intimate, and you can barely hear him through the pounding of your heart in your ears.

"I told them. About you. About Minnie."

You find yourself smiling at the news. That makes it more real, doesn't it? It isn't just the courts acknowledging Matt is Minnie's father - it's the real world. It's Matt wanting her - wanting to show the world he wants his daughter. 

That's all you want. 

You step just a fraction closer, and to keep your balance and let Matt know how close you are, you place your hand in Matt's chest. Almost instantly, his free hand goes to your waist, and you feel steady. 

You bite your bottom lip, then ask, your curiosity so much bigger than your ability to keep your mouth shut, "What did they say?"

He huffs and lightly shakes his head, "After yelling at me for keeping it a secret? They want to meet you, properly. If that is okay. I told them I'd ask you before confirming anything." He hums, then drops his voice even more, "Karen got me magnets so I could hang all the work I got up on my fridge at home." 

"You're going to need a lot of them," you whisper back to him. "I ordered popsicle sticks and puff balls so she can make 3D things." 

"I can't wait. Karen got me a bulk pack of magnets."

You giggle at that, but before you can reply, a needy little voice calls out from the dining table, "Mommy!"

You pull away from Matt, his fingers tracing down from your bicep to your wrist before he drops his hand, and turn to walk towards your daughter, "Yes, Mouse?"

"I'm hungry!" 

She's poked her head out from under the blanket and is now wearing it like a cape and her chubby little cheeks are pulled down into an upset frown. You have a feeling a tantrum may be close - there's nothing worse than a hangry toddler. 

You take a breath, then smile at your daughter, "Okay. Mister Matt is here so we can have dinner now. Do you want to tell him what we are having?"

Matt taps his way into the main living space, and you know you should give him a quick tour, but you think if you delay dinner at all, Minnie is going to start crying, so you tell him instead where the table is. 

Minnie doesn't seem to want to engage, stuffing her fingers back into her mouth. Luckily, Matt isn't dissuaded by that. He sets the wine bottle down before taking the seat across from Minnie. 

"It smells like we're going to have lasagna for dinner. Is that what we are having?" he asks, voice soft and gentle. 

Your little one rocks side to side, keeping her fingers in her mouth before nodding. Normally, you would remind her to use her words, but you don't want to push, so you relay her message to Matt, "She nodded."

Matt hums softly in response. He tilts his head slightly, brows knitting together, before leaning forward just a fraction, "Do you want us to leave you alone until you eat?"

You are surprised by the question then even more surprised when he gets the tiniest, 'yes' in reply. Matt's face softens at that, and he nods to Minnie.

"Okay. Can I still talk to your Mommy, or do you want us to be quiet, too?"

You stand, dish towel in your hands, ready to bring the lasagna to the table, watching your daughter interact with her father. He's being so gentle and understanding with her and you can tell he's being genuine. You can hear the care in his words, how he's giving her choice and not pushing her to talk to him. 

You'll gladly eat dinner in silence if Minnie doesn't want either of you to talk. You don't know how it will work, but you'll try. 

Your little one doesn't answer the question right away. She looks between you and Matt, before pulling her fingers out of her mouth to speak, "You can talk to Mommy."

"Thank you, sweetheart. We'll be quiet, okay?" Matt promises. 

You quickly parrot him, giving your own soft smile, "Thank you, baby. We'll keep it down." 

Minnie snuggles herself tighter into her blanket and you take that as a sign to get yourself into gear. You carefully pick up the lasagna pan and bring it over to the table, setting it as far as possible away from your little one. 

Matt tilts his head towards you, and the food, "That smells delicious. Did you make it yourself?"

You go back to the kitchen to get your serving utensils and answer in the softest voice you can muster that isn't whispering, "Thank you, I did. I found an all organic, from scratch recipe online and have been using it ever since. It's even fancy, way too expensive, cheese. I, uh, made extra. For you to take home, if you want."

Matt licks his lips, and you can tell he's trying to hold back a big smile. It makes your insides turn in a funny way - his kindness and appreciation. You are, as sad as it is, not used to such treatment and for whatever reason that, combined with Minnie's attitude, and Matt being in your apartment for the first time kick starts your anxiety. You are definitely very aware of your heartbeat, and it feels like someone dipped your heart into ice water before it disappears into a hollowness. 

This feeling isn't new to you, so you try to push past it, not let your sudden panic ruin things, because despite your little one's sourness, things are okay. You tell yourself things are okay. 

Your tiny bout of distress goes unnoticed, as it lasts the blink of an eye. Matt leans back in his chair, letting his smile start to crack through, "You didn't have to do that, but I will definitely take you up on it. I can't turn away a home cooked meal."

You force yourself to smile and cut out a slice of lasagna for Matt, before leaning over to place it on his plate, "Guests first."

"Thank you," Matt practically cooes, "I don't think I've been this excited for a dinner in a long time."

The praise does all sorts of things to you, so instead you focus on cutting out a little slice for Minnie and serving it to her. As soon as the food is in front of her, she stabs her fork into it and shovels a piece into her pouty mouth. You don't blame her at all.

"Would you like a glass of wine…?" You ask Matt. Minnie has her sippy juice, but you haven't set out any other drinks. 

He gives you a soft, "Yes, please," and you go to get the two wine glasses you have and a cork screw. You bring them back to the table and set down the glasses before going to open the wine. You haven't done it in such a long time it takes you a minute of struggling to pop it.  Matt turns his head towards you, a little grin on his face until you start pouring. 

You give Matt his drink, then finally make your own plate before sitting beside Matt. Minnie is still angrily stabbing at her dinner and you feel so bad for her. Even with her favorite dinner and good company, she's not having it. You expect when you put her down, either she'll try to fight you or be asleep the moment she touches the covers. You very much hope for the latter. 

Matt, on the other hand, looks completely enthralled with his plate. You can tell his eyes are closed and he's clearly enjoying what he's eating. 

You don't press for conversation - instead reaching for your wine. It's a deep red and delicious on your tongue and you can't remember the last time you've had a good wine. You can feel your shoulders starting to loosen. 

Which of course means, everything needs to come crashing down. 

One moment everything is okay, then the next, Minnie is absolutely screeching. Her face is screwed up in pain and you scramble to get out of your chair to get to her.

"Minnie! What's wrong?!" You try to ask her over her wailing. 

Instead of any sort of answer, she grabs for her fork, which is stabbed into her food, and throws it as hard as she can. You watch in horror as the fork and a large chunk of lasagna still attached to it flies over the table and smacks right into Matt's chest. Panic surges through you as he also bends forward and covers his ears with a distressed face, ignoring the food staining his shirt.

You try to grab Minnie from her booster, but she does not want it and instantly starts to try and fight you, flinging her arms and legs everywhere. 

"Minnie, please," you beg as she kicks you in the hip, "What's wrong, baby?!"

The only reply you get is upset screaming. 

"Cover her ears!" 

Matt is very suddenly beside you and clapping his hands over your baby's ears. She fights it, squirming to get away and smacking at his arms with all her might, but he doesn't budge. You stare, not understanding what is going on, what set her off, and you don't know how to help. 

You don't know how to help and that sinking feeling in your chest is returning and you're scared. 

Matt says your name again, then almost barks at you, "Her headphones! Get her headphones, the strongest ones!" 

You don't understand why but it's something you can help with, something you can do, and you rush to the bedroom and grab her sleeping headband. Minnie has always told you this one works the best, despite the reviews of the others. You run back to the dining area and nearly stumble upon what you see.

Matt has somehow gotten Minnie out of her booster seat and into his arms, and she is octopus clinging to him. Her face is pressed into his neck, one ear on his shoulder, while he keeps his hand clamped over the other. He's lightly bouncing her in his arm as she cries against him and part of you becomes extremely distressed at seeing someone else comfort your child. 

You push that away quickly to hurry forward and hold up the headband, "I've got it." 

Matt nods, then turns his focus back to Minnie. He noses her hair, and you can just barely hear him over her, "It's okay, baby, Mommy has your headband. We're gonna make it quiet. I know it hurts, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry."

You hesitate before stepping towards them. Minnie doesn't flail or pull away as you maneuver the headband and get it over both her ears. It feels so awkward to do as she cries and once it is on her head and over her ears, she reaches up and yanks on it until it is in place. Then she flops back down into the crook of Matt's neck, still crying but somehow not as urgently. 

You are unsure of what to do, but everything in you screams to touch your child, so you shuffle close to Matt until you can put a comforting hand on her back. 

"I'm right here, baby, it's okay," you whisper, gently rubbing a small circle along her spine. 

Matt shifts slightly, and the hand that was covering Minnie's ear drops and he instead wraps it around your waist and pulls you closer, so you are flush against him, with Minnie between the two of you. 

That seems to help with whatever has upset Minnie so much. She stays clinging to Matt while he oh so gently sways you back and forth. Her screeching dies down to tired-upset crying and you know she's going to keep going until she passes out. 

To your absolute amazement, Matt doesn't seem deterred at all. He keeps his nose buried into his daughter's hair, talking quietly to her as she sobs, "It's okay. Shhhh, shhh. Feel my heartbeat, sweetie. Focus on that. The bad noise will stop soon, I promise. Just listen to your Mommy and I." 

You have no idea what he is talking about - what the bad noise is - but it's calming Minnie down, so you let him keep going. You keep your hand on her back, gently doing your own 'shhh'ing, trying to encourage her to calm even more. 

"That's my good girl," Matt hums, before giving her the briefest kiss against her temple. "Do you want to go to Mommy now?" 

You don't hear Minnie respond, but she must in some way because soon enough she is being transferred into your arms. She clings to you loosely and you can feel her little body starting to droop. She must be close to wearing herself out.

She makes a little upset whine between her huffing and puffing, and you instantly take up gently bouncing her like Matt has been doing. Matt stays wrapped around both of you, taking over your role of rubbing Minnie's back. 

You don't know how long you stay there, curled together and soothing Minnie, both of you whispering little words of love and comfort to your daughter. 

You think you are past the worst of it, but of course that isn't the case.

Minnie starts squirming and fussing, reaching up and pressing at her ears over her headband. You look up to Matt, to see his reaction and your heart runs cold and fear spikes in you.

He looks absolutely murderous.

He's lifted his head and it is turned towards your living room, his brows scrunched and a scowl on his lips. You instinctively hug Minnie tight to you, but you quickly realize you have nothing to fear.

He stalks across your living room to your open window and yanks it shut. Right away, Minnie loops her arms back around your neck and settles with a sleepy sniffle. You press your face into her, rocking her a little more.

"I've got you, Mouse. It's okay. Mommy's right here."

You don't jump when Matt's hand brushes along your back and he once again wraps you in his arms. You allow yourself to turn ever so slightly and tuck yourself closer, lowering your head so it leans just barely against his shoulder, with Minnie hidden between your bodies.

You feel safe in that moment. You're confused why Minnie got so upset so suddenly and you're confused at how Matt knew how to handle it, but you feel safe, and even more so when Matt's arms tighten around you. 

"I've got you both," he practically breathes against you. "I won't let anything get you. I'm here now. I've got you." 

You close your eyes as the panic and adrenaline washes away from you and the exhaustion of your day starts to catch up to you. You very much understand how rubbing Minnie's back helps her sleep - Matt's started to drag his fingers up and down your spine and you know it could lull you into Dreamland.

Minnie's cries turn into sniffles and then quickly turn into quiet snores as the minutes pass.

You stay still until you are one hundred percent sure she's gone to the world before pulling back just slightly, and whisper, "I should go lay her down." 

Your face is so close to Matt's you can practically taste his breath and your heart starts to pound at the realization of it. 

You don't know if it is on account of your words or if he was also aware how tangled up the two of you were, but Matt drops his arms and steps away from you, nodding, "Yeah, she sounds pretty sleep now."

You chew your lip, not liking how your arms are suddenly chilly, but don't acknowledge it, "I'll be right back." 

You turn and grab Scooby and Pig, knowing another tantrum will happen if your daughter wakes up alone, and head towards the bedroom. It is surprisingly easy to get her to let go of you and you deposit Minnie into her bed. You place her toys beside her and tuck her in, careful to not jostle her. You dare to kiss her forehead before pulling away. 

As you turn to leave your bedroom, your window catches your eye. It is closed, but in front of it is a little table. 

Just like in your living room. There is a table under the window, with more than a few knick knacks on it. 

Your brow furrows and you return to the main living area. Matt has found his way back to the table and is drinking his glass of wine. 

"Is she good?" He asks, setting down his glass and turning to face you. 

"She didn't wake up at all, I think she's down for the count," you say, glancing towards where your window is before looking back to Matt. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," is his instant reply. You take a moment to look him over, from his fluffy hair, to the tomato sauce now on his shirt, to his fancy loafers, before returning to his handsome face.

"Matt…how did you know where the window is?"

tags list:

@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife 

@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt

@murc0ckmurc0ck @groovycass @sumo-b98 @just3rowsing @tongueofcat @zoom1374

@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare @mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @hunnybelha @

Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets 

@mayp11-blog @danzer8705 @thinking-at-dusk @remuslupinwifee @akila-twt  @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @dil3mma @allllium @

two-unbeatable-beaters 

[luveline]

hiii!! i saw that you wanted some roan & eddie & reader requests sooo,, becuase barbie is trending so muchh i was wondering if you could write reader watching roan play with her barbies and instantly taken back to her childhood and getting very emotional ??

i mean its whats happening to me being reminded how much ive grown and how much effect those dolls had on me soo yeah 😭

tysm ♡ eddie and roan

A long, creaking squeal sounds from Roan when you come home. Eddie plugs his ears, knowing exactly what it is you have in the huge plastic bag at your waist —Roan's special treats, as previously discussed, for being such a lovely girl lately. 

It might be a silly thing to treat her for, but she deserves toys before any amazing behaviour, and you have the extra money to buy them. Why shouldn't she get them? You and Eddie chatted some while you were at work that morning, trying to choose what toys to get. 

"I haven't bought her toys by myself since we first met, what if I pick something crappy?" you'd worried. 

Eddie gave it a little bit of thought, hand twined in the curling wire of the telephone, slouched as he usually does against the back wall of the shop. "Hey, she hasn't had any new dolls since Christmas. They'd go over nicely. Or she always likes a new dress. I'm sure you'll find something when you're there. You can get me something fun at the same time if you want." 

You'd laughed at his joke and, if the light in your eyes now is anything to go off of, managed to find some presents you're happy with.

"Naddy's Toy Emporium!?" Roan shouts, rocketing off of the couch where she'd been standing waiting for you. 

You've a nightly routine, hugging her when you come home like your life depends on it, but clearly Roan has decided the hug can wait. For once, Eddie's finished dinner before you're return, so he has a good seat on the couch to watch everything unfold. 

You let her grab the bag's sides but lift it a touch when she tries to take it. "Hey, they're for you, I promise, but let's come inside and put them on the table!" 

Roan squeals and knocks into Eddie's knees. He sits up and grabs her gently by the waist, hoisting her onto his lap. You sit on the couch cushion trampled flat by Roan's feet, pulling the play table where she likes to eat her snacks closer. 

"Are you doing the speech?" you ask Eddie, putting down the bag. 

He grins. "Ro," he begins, turning skewiff, her back to the couch to allow you both a great view of her face, "you've been a really good girl, lately. Do you know that? You've been eating all your dinner, no tantrums before school, and now you're even starting to help clean up around the house. So me and Y/N just want you to know how proud we are and how awesome we think you are." 

"And we think all this awesome deserves some presents because we love you," you say. "Do you want the smallest or the biggest one first?" 

There's lots of nice presents. You've stayed within the confines of the agreed budget, which is a feat for you (as you love to spoil her). There's five new barbies, one of which comes with a car, and the other a puppy dog. They have clothes, accessories, and an abundance of plastic he needs to cut away with scissors. His hand is welted red by the time he's through. 

You also bought her a glittery lip gloss to replace the one she lost a few weeks ago. The proof of it sparkles on your cheek and Eddie's, twin thank yous. 

You go quiet as Roan retreats to her satin princess tent, driving the pink corvette back and forth as she makes the barbies talk to one another. 

"You okay?" he asks. You'd been wearing this huge smile for the last twenty minutes and now it's gone, he hates it. "I've been thinking maybe you deserve something nice, too." 

You smile weakly. Okay, so you're not wanting anything. 

"Dinner should be ready soon." 

"Thanks, Eddie." 

He gives up. He's about as subtle as a feather boa and you love him that way, drifting down toward your arm, his face smashing into your shoulder. "What's wrong?" 

You put your head atop his. "Well, I'm just thinking." 

"I may not look like it, but I think too, occasionally. Share with me." 

You push his arm until he sits up and sinks down into his side instead. Eddie supposes you're allowed, even if usually he'd call it sexist or selfish. "I had a lot of fun picking those out today, and I kept thinking about the look on her face…"

Eddie hums to show he's listening. Kisses the top of your head 'cos he can. "Yeah?" 

"I just remembered being her age. Do you remember wanting something really badly? There was something so nice about getting to grab a kart and– and to just stand there debating which ones to get." 

Eddie toys with your pinky finger. "That's not everything, is it?" 

Your smile presses against his arm, a deep emotion in your voice that's hard to pin. "Watching her makes me remember. Being a kid, playing make believe. I'll never be that young ever again, and there's no way to go back. But I," —you take in a steadying breath— "don't mind. I love seeing her so happy." 

He intertwines your fingers between his, shorter and a little bit softer than his. He soaks in your presence for a moment, the smell of you, your tiny sounds, the secret you've shared with him. You're a mixture of sad and happy. He's not sure which one overpowers which, only that they're hitting you hard. 

"There's lots of cool shit that comes with being a parent. You know the best one?" he asks you, raising his eyebrows at you with a fondness lining his lips. 

"No?" 

"You can play games without anyone judging you. I know it's not the same as being a kid again, but it's close." 

"Yeah?" you ask, sitting up. "You'll come play too, right?" 

Eddie casts his gaze to his daughter where she chit chats on the floor. "Hey, Roanie? Can we come play with you?" 

Roan is almost as pleased as when she first laid eyes on her treasure trove of dolls. 

[hongmingoo]

Still You

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x f!Reader

Warnings: Brother's best friend, Best friend's sister, Slight underage relationship, Slight teacher-student relationship, Domestic Abuse (not explicit), Exes to lovers, Angst, Fluff, Forbidden love tragedy

Word Count: 11k+

Inspired from: Still You - Seungkwan

Summary: Tragic love story between two lovers who met at the wrong time, having to go through trials after trials just to end up finding each other again.

Jeon Wonwoo has never believed in love at first sight. He always thought that it takes time for people to get to know each other and eventually fall in love. But with you, it's so different.

You were his best friends' sister. A young girl compared to the circle he is used to. You were away, living with your grandmother in Jeju while your brother lived with your mom in Seoul. Six years younger than Jisoo is, you are instantly adored by his peers.

So, Wonwoo thought it's only normal for him to adore you too. You were a nice kid, polite and kind, also very understanding– very unfitting of your young age. You didn't complain when you're left alone at home after school because your mom works until late and your brother is busy with his school and part time job.

You'd do the chores at home on your own, cook simple dinner to eat, do your homeworks and go to bed early for school days. Sometimes, your classmate, Seungkwan would bring you food and side dishes that his mom made since he lived just next door. And because his younger brother Seokmin is in the same class as you too, he often sees you when he comes to pick Seokmin up from your house after his part time job.

"Poor Y/nie" Seokmin would say one day when they both walk home from your house.

"Why?" Wonwoo questioned.

"Because she's always left alone. Her mom's busy working, same as Jisoo-hyung. But when I asked her if she's lonely, she'd say she's okay with it because they're working hard to make extra cash now that she's staying with them. She's allowed to say she's lonely right, hyung?" Seokmin sighed, his tiny shoulders slumped from the heavy exhale.

Seokmin is caring, more than a 10-year-old should be, but that made Wonwoo proud nonetheless.

"Should we prepare a welcoming party for Y/nie? It's been 2 weeks since she came, right? We haven't had the time to welcome her properly. So, go tell Seungkwan and Soonyoung tomorrow that we'll throw a party for Y/nie at our home on Saturday" Wonwoo suggested, bending down to match his brother's eye level.

Seokmin's face lit up, nodding enthusiastically at the idea.

Still, Wonwoo didn't expect you'd be so happy when they threw the small party for you that Saturday. Didn't expect you'd cry and hugged him while saying your thanks. You'd hugged Seokmin, Seungkwan, and Soonyoung too, promising that you'd be best friends forever.

Jisoo and his mom had come at 8pm to pick you up and thanked his family for welcoming you so warmly which made his mom pat his back in pride. He'd kneel down in front of you to wipe your tears, told you to smile because you looked so pretty smiling.

Wonwoo didn't expect to fall for you, the way he did because he shouldn't. You are his best friend's sister, the one he looks up to as his own brother. And most importantly, you're way too young for him, plus you're also his brother's best friend. By the time he's 17, he realized that his first love is someone he can't get, someone he isn't supposed to love, someone he has to give up entirely on.

At 17, Jeon Wonwoo realized he had fallen in love with the 12-year-old you.

But, in his defense, you're way too mature for a 12-year-old. You're as attentive and caring as your brother Jisoo. You'd give him your handmade cards on his birthday, accompany him and Seokmin for dog walking, never attempt to drag him to a pool or a lake because you knew he had a fear of drowning.

There was one time where you'd knit a scarf for him because he got cold so easily. Tell him you learnt how to knit at school. You said you wanted to make him some mittens but it's too hard so you ended up making him the dark blue colored scarf instead. Then, you also promised that you'd make him a beanie with cat ears because he likes cats once you've practiced enough.

And Jeon Wonwoo realized he is fucked up because he can't possibly love someone so young. The guilt is eating him alive, he felt like he was betraying the trust Jisoo had on him. So, he did the only thing he knew at the moment. He ran away.

You were told by Seokmin that his brother had left to live with his grandparents in Changwon. So he could focus on his studies since he's a high school senior now.

"So, today our class will be taken over by the new student teacher. He's here for his internship for 6 months. So please be nice to him" your homeroom teacher, Mr. Yoon reminded his students. He welcomed the new teacher, that you didn't even notice his presence in the class, not that you cared.

You were just doodling when Soonyoung slapped your arm hard, to get your attention.

"Ow! What is wrong with you?!" You whisper-yelled, still having the decency to be quiet in class. You gave him a nasty glare but he paid you no mind, eyes still glued on the figure at the front of the class.

"Isn't he Seokmin's brother? The new teacher" he whispered, eyes not leaving the front.

"Hello, my name is Jeon Wonwoo. I'll be teaching you Math for this semester. Nice to meet all of you," the deep voice introduced himself with a smile. Your eyes widen, because you remember that voice, that face and most importantly, that smile.

"Hyung! It's me, Soon–" Soonyoung was about to expose himself, raising his hand in the air, but you quickly pulled him down together with you to hide your face on your table.

"Why are we hiding?!" He whispered, confused by your actions.

"I don't know?!" You replied, shaking your head.

"What?! Are you on your period or something? You're acting weird. Anyways, we're gonna have to introduce ourselves, so act proper" your friend scolded. You were stunned because he played Uno reverse on you since usually it's the other way around for you.

"My name is Kwon Soonyoung. My birthday is June 15 and I like tigers! I think you already knew me since we met when I was 10. I am Seokmin's best friend too" Soonyoung introduced himself happily, his hands flying everywhere. Wonwoo's eyes lit up in recognition upon seeing him, his smile widened.

"Oh, Soonyoung. You've grown. Nice to see you again. I look forward to seeing you around more" he chuckled at the boy's excited giggle. Soonyoung turned around to his side, a girl with long dark hair was sitting next to him, face hidden behind a book.

"Come on, your turn" Soonyoung chirped. You wished he could just shut up for one second. You groan inwardly as you stand up, feeling eyes on you already. You reluctantly meet Wonwoo's gaze but it accidentally turned into a glare from how hard you clenched your jaw.

"My name is Hong Y/n. I was born in winter, my hobby is reading" you mumbled your introduction, barely audible but Wonwoo heard it so clearly. It's you, the girl he missed the most. The girl who's still so pretty donning her summer uniform, even though it's already September, despite giving him a harsh glare with a pair of hazel orbs. Wonwoo's eyes widened slightly and his breath hitched but he masked it with a polite smile, the kind that teachers usually have.

"Did you miss your breakfast this morning, Hong Y/n? You seemed grumpy," he teased, for the sake of shaking off the heavy air hung in the classroom. The whole class erupted in laughter and you took a seat after blowing air to your bangs in annoyance.

"How did you know that, teacher? Y/n's only grumpy when she's hungry~" Youngji teased, earning a glare from you too.

"She reminds me of my cat at home. Grumpy when hungry, hehe" Wonwoo chuckled, making the whole class laugh again, except you of course.

"Anyways, I hope we get along just fine this semester. Pleased to meet all of you"

...

"Did you not have any decency to tell us your brother is back and he'll be teaching our class?" You scoffed, sitting at the table at the park for lunch.

"He told me to keep it a secret. He wanted to surprise you guys," Seokmin grinned, opening his lunch box carefully and picking up his chopsticks to start eating.

"I thought I was dreaming when I saw him walk into our class," Soonyoung said, sipping on his strawberry milk.

"So, he's back to your home?" Seungkwan questioned, munching on his sausage.

"No. He rented a house in town. He visited last weekend. And told me to keep it a secret. And here he is today" Seokmin laughed at your incredulous face.

"Are you still mad at him? It's been 5 years. Forgive him already. I thought you moved on from him?" Seungkwan asked.

"I didn't like him"

"Okay? So why are you mad?"

"He left without saying anything to me"

"You weren't anyone to him, Y/n. Why would he tell you? Haven't you thought of it like that?" Seungkwan questioned and you went silent, glaring at him. Soonyoung choked on his sandwich while Seokmin eyed the two of you warily.

"You didn't have to be so blunt about it," Soonyoung coughs, reaching for his strawberry milk. But Seungkwan was right, you were just a friend to his brother, why would he even tell you anything at all? But part of you is still mad at him, because you thought you were special, maybe you mean something to him. But no, you need a reality check. There's no way someone as perfect as Wonwoo would fall for a kid like you.

"Can I join you guys? We haven't had the chance to catch up," a familiar voice rang from behind you, making you frozen on the spot.

"Hyung! Have a seat, let's eat together," Soonyoung cheered and Wonwoo thanked him with a smile. He took a seat on the empty spot next to you, setting his tumbler and lunch box down before he began eating. You still froze, unable to look his way at all.

"You have to call me Teacher at school though. Please remember that," he scolded lightly, nose scrunching up in a cute smile. He still looked so cute and dainty, despite his body having bulked up from the last time they saw him. It's such a contradiction, but he looked hot anyways so who cares.

"Right, sorry. It's confusing," Soonyoung complained.

"When did you come back to Seoul?" Seungkwan asked, looking up at the older male eating his lunch cutely. Tiny bites of everything but somehow still has his mouth full and cheeks puffing up.

"2 weeks ago. I had to settle down in my new home and get ready for school. So yeah, haven't had the time to reach out"

"I see, I thought you just moved back in with your family, that way we could hang out again" Soonyoung whined.

"We can, once I've settled down properly sometime later. Though I wonder, would you younglings even want to hang out with an oldie like me?" The teacher teased.

"Ayy, come on. You looked the same, since 5 years ago. Even Seokmin looks older than you" Seungkwan scoffed before getting into a debate with Seokmin. Wonwoo looks over to you, who has been eating your food silently, not engaging in any of their noisy banter.

"I heard Jisoo is teaching at the private school out of town?" He asked, gently seeking your attention. You just nodded, not sparing him any glances and he had to hold back a pout at your lack of interest in him.

It used to be so different, you would have given him your full attention before he even opened his mouth. But now, you wouldn't even spare him a glance.

"I'm heading back to class. I forgot to do the notes Ms. Jung told us last week. See you in class, Soonie" you retorted, standing up from your chair to leave.

"Didn't you finish the notes right after? You even let me copy it yesterday–" Soonyoung cuts himself off immediately upon seeing you throw him yet another dirty glare, stomping away immediately.

"Sorry, she's on her period. Mood swings" the boy chuckled, scratching at his nape sheepishly.

Wonwoo's eyes trailed your leaving form. Your shiny hair, the tight shirt that clung to your form, your skirt dancing in the slight breeze, your long legs, cute socks peeking from your shoes. 5 years of being away trying to move on has gone down the drain, at the mere sight of you, the beautiful you who is mad at him, the pretty you who owns his heart.

He can no longer deny it. He loves you. He's madly in love with you.

"Is it your mission to follow me around now?" You questioned, irritation obvious on your face as you eyed Wonwoo suspiciously. You were working part time at the local bookstore, the one the elderly couple owns. It was your favorite spot, the place has become your mini library since there's rarely any customers anyways. Wonwoo knew this place, he was the one who brought you here in the first place. So, it's not weird to see him hanging around you because to them, you guys have always been close since you were kids. And today, they left the store for you to handle in favor of going to visit their grandchildren who had just given birth.

"Because you're mad at me and you're avoiding me. I need to know why" he explained, eyes soft as he looked up at you from his sitting position on the bench in the back corner of the store.

"I'm working. You could have meet me sometime later"

"You won't meet me even if I try. So I had to come here"

He was right, you have been avoiding him except in class because there was no way to run and you needed the knowledge because you suck at Math. Other than that, you would have bolted somewhere else if you even saw just a tiny tuft of his fluffy hair poking somewhere.

"Tell me why you're mad?" He persuaded, right hand reaching out to curl around your smaller one.

"I don't know, ask yourself. You were the one who left without any notice. You could have told me and I would have waited for you. But then you decided to come back here, unnoticed. What am I supposed to do?" You grumbled, pulling your hand back, unable to stop your rambling as you focus your gaze on the books you need to stack.

Wonwoo stood up from the bench, towering over you, and you made yourself smaller, fitting your body in the corner, avoiding his stare.

"Have you ever thought that maybe because I'm a coward? That I might have fallen for you but I shouldn't do that because you're my brother's best friend and my best friend's sister" he says, leaning closer to you.

"So what if I am your brother's best friend? So what if I am your best friend's sister? Is there some kind of rule that says that people like that shouldn't date each other?" You countered, glaring up at him. Wonwoo was quite taken aback from what you said, so you continued.

"Plus, I'm not that naive enough to think that you'd like a kid like me. Now move, I have tons of books to stack by today" you pushed him aside to grab the books on the cart and began arranging them neatly on the shelf.

"What if I say you're my student? Someone I shouldn't have developed any feelings on. Someone I should have clear boundaries with?" He questioned.

"Then, why are you here Mr. Jeon? If you know you should have clear boundaries with me, you should have just ignored me instead of following me around like this," you challenged, turning around to look into his eyes again. It shocked Wonwoo to the core to see you so upfront like this. He forgot what he wanted to say when his eyes met the blaze in your orbs.

"If you need to know, you are a person to me first before you're a teacher to me. The person that I liked when I was 12. Now please go. I'm working, you're disturbing me" you sighed, pushing him backwards to stumble towards the door. Wonwoo was stunned, he didn't expect that you'd just confessed to him. That was his answer, you were mad because you liked him but he left you behind without any news.

"It's okay to be naive sometimes, Y/n-ah" he breathes, large hands grasping your wrist gently to stop you from pushing him away. You glared up at him again, a frown decorating your pretty face. You didn't say anything, but it's enough to know you're questioning his motives.

"It's okay to be naive, to think that I liked you. No, actually… I love you. I'm sorry for being a coward and running away," he confesses. Your frown deepens and it was obvious to him that you're not buying what he says.

"Stop playing with me, Mr Jeon. Is this some kind of hidden camera you planned with the guys?" You asked, looking around the store warily. He smiled at you, hands traveling up to cup your face before planting a soft kiss on your forehead.

"I'm not playing with you. I genuinely love you. My heart is about to burst out of my ribcage from nervousness, you know. You can listen and be the judge," he chuckled, pulling your smaller body into his arms, your head resting on his chest. It was true, his heartbeat was going frenzy. It feels warm, being in his embrace, surrounded by his scent. It makes you feel safe. You realized you miss this, you miss him. Slowly, you wrap your arms around him– clutching at the fabric of his cardigan.

"I don't know if I can trust you. You were the one who left me behind after all," you mumble into his chest, voice muffled by the fuzzy fabric. He chuckled, tightening the embrace.

"Let me make it up to you, okay?" He assured, kissing the crown of your hair affectionately. You let yourself be comforted by his warmth and steady breath. Loving how he feels around your figure, you nuzzle your face into his neck and let out a relieved exhale.

"Thank you for coming back," you whispered.

You were having a study sleepover with your besties at Wonwoo's house for the upcoming college entrance exam which will be held in 2 weeks.

It's already 2am and your friends are passed out on the couch and the carpet, leaving you alone still trying to answer one more question for the past hour. Wonwoo came back from his room with extra blankets and pillows to place over the scattered boys.

"It's late. You should rest and continue tomorrow," he says, kissing you on the cheeks. You pull back in surprise, afraid that your friends might see you but Wonwoo only smiles and kisses the tip of your nose.

"They're dead asleep, baby" he chuckles. You sighed, falling into his embrace, wrapping your arms around his neck. Your boyfriend tugs you closer to him until you're straddling his lap, wraps his arms around you securely, kissing your temple.

"You're working so hard. I'm so proud of you, baby. You didn't have to worry so much. You'll do just great. I believe in you" he assured, rocking you back and forth in a comforting manner. You hummed, loving the attention he showers you with.

"Let's get you to bed" he says, carrying you up to his bedroom. He took you to the attached bathroom first to let you do your nightly routine, before carrying you to bed and tucking you beneath the soft covers of his queen sized bed.

"Get some sleep, I'll sleep with the boys outside. Just call or come outside if you need me, okay?" He whispers, kissing your forehead and brushing your hair out of your face lovingly.

"Won't you cuddle me first?" You pouted as he moved to leave already.

"Don't act cute like that baby. I'm trying my best to be nice here" he grunted but relents when you bat your eyelashes at him. He slides under the cover with you, immediately tangling himself with you. An arm sliding under your head, another pulling you close by the waist. Your hazel orbs are shimmery from the moonlight that peeks through the curtain and he couldn't stop himself from leaning into you.

He places a soft peck onto your plush lips as if to test the waters. Diving right in when you close your eyes and lean into the kiss. The hand that was on your waist cupped your jaw to tilt your head so he could kiss you better, your lips meshing together in a passionate liplock. You pulled away to gasp for air and he chased you back, capturing your plush pillowy lips in a kiss because he couldn't get enough of you. He's addicted to your taste.

It wasn't long before he pushed you to lay on your back and hover over your small body, forearms bracketing your head. Your arms curling around his neck, nimble fingers playing with the hair on his nape. Your hearts are beating erratically in your chests, excitement thrilling through your veins making you feel as if time stopped and it's only you and him in this world. You love the feeling of being smothered in his scent, overloading your senses. You love the feeling of Wonwoo on top of you.

When Wonwoo pulled away, it's you who chased his soft lips this time. He smiled, resting his forehead on top of yours, breath heavy. You could see it in his beautiful obsidian, the way he looks at you with so much love in them. He doesn't need to spell it to you, because his eyes are already screaming 'I love you, Y/n'. It makes you overwhelmed, that tears start prickling at your waterlines. You pulled him down, flushed against you to hide your face in the crook of his neck.

"I love you"

...

"So, when do we stop acting like we're oblivious about how they're head over heels for each other?" Seungkwan scoffed under his breath, munching at the slightly burnt toast that you made (only because he absolutely loves you) giving his best bombastic side-eye at the two of you being giggly while cooking breakfast like a bunch of teenagers. The three of them are bunched together at the kitchen island, watching the couple being lovey-dovey in front of them.

"I'm actually hurt that they don't trust us enough to tell us the truth," Soonyoung commented, lathering more chocolate spread on his toast.

"I think they have their reasons. You know how timid my brother could be. Plus his position right now has so many disadvantages to him. It could ruin him" Seokmin added.

"Did you think Y/n could ruin him? Are you serious?" Seungkwan was about to throw hands when Seokmin looked at him, eyes serious.

"Not Y/n. Jisoo-hyung. You know how strict Jisoo-hyung could be"

The two went silent. Agreeing with what Seokmin said.

…

"Are you dating Y/n, hyung?" Seokmin asked as Wonwoo drove him from his apartment. He could see his brother froze for a while, knuckles gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"I could see how you look at her with hearts in your eyes, hyung. And she's not any different either" the younger added. He saw Wonwoo hesitated in the corner of his eyes and sighed.

"You know I'm fully on your side, right? I saw the way you looked at her with such adoration from the first time we met her. You've been in love with her for quite a while, right?"

"Seokmin-ah… I…" Wonwoo trailed, unsure how to continue his sentence, biting his lip in anxiousness. Seeing this, Seokmin sighed.

“Hyung, do you know how long I’ve been gatekeeping Y/n for you? Not just me though, both Seungkwan and Soonyoung did. Seungkwan literally chased away a guy who tried to confess to her. You don’t have to be scared, we knew that you’ve like each other since we were kids. And you don’t have to be scared about dating a student. We’ll protect you both until we graduate, only 3 months left. I just need you to trust us. Trust me. I’m on your side” Seokmin assured.

Wonwoo wasn’t able to say anything else after that. His tears kept flowing down his cheeks. He forgot how kind and caring his brother has been. He was honestly glad that at least he has Seokmin on his side in his ‘forbidden love tragedy’ with you.

“Thank you, Seokmin-ah. I really needed to hear that. I’ll see you at school tomorrow. Good luck for CSAT” Wonwoo thanked his brother after he safely parked in the driveway of their family home, wiping his tears with his sweater paws.

“Won’t you look at me or give me a hug though? Am I not your baby anymore?” the younger brother pouted, his arms wide opened for Wonwoo.

“Always my baby. Even until you’re 70” Wonwoo chuckled, pulling his brother towards him and ruffling his hair affectionately. Seokmin giggled happily, nuzzling his nose in his brother’s neck and he squeezed him a little bit tighter.

“Please remember that I am always on your side, hyung. I love you” Seokmin whispered.

The four of you finished CSAT, after struggling for so long, and finally has sometime to enjoy. The school will be holding a Christmas festival before the winter holiday started, so your friends prepared for a performance with Youngji included. They’re only a group of highschool seniors, but they managed to hype the crowd so much that it almost looked like its their concert.

“Y/N!! Come to the stage! Let’s dance!!” Seungkwan screamed from the stage. You laughed and only shook your head from your seat.

“Mr. Jeon! Join us!” Seokmin called, and Soonyoung immediately dragging the older man to the stage to dance with them. Wonwoo is surprisingly a good dancer, you never knew that and were impressed that he managed to keep up with the boys despite just seeing the choreography. He was smiling so shyly when the students cheer him on for a solo dance break.

Your eyes met his, and he blushed madly– tearing his gaze away. He complained that he’s too tired for hardcore dancing but continued to dance for them when the trio gave his their puppy eyes. Its cute, to see such scenes again after a long time of being apart and hiding beneath the student - teacher facade.

Wonwoo sang a song after that, it was a song that he and Seokmin frequently sing, a song you knew all too well– ‘It Must Have been Love’. The whole school went into uproar at the sound of his voice, it was so beautiful, fitting for a man as beautiful as him. It was deep but it’s also so soft that it touched your heart. Wonwoo’s fanclub is cheering madly, lining up at the front of the stage to get a closer look at the young teacher.

“Wow! Such a beautiful song and beautiful voice! Mr. Jeon, who hurt you that badly for you to sing this tearful song?” Mr. Yoon coos.

“Ah, no… I’m just singing it” Wonwoo answered timidly, a shy smile on his lips as he fleeted a glance towards where you were standing on the upper corridor of the school hall. He doesn’t notice it but his fangirls followed his gaze towards you and whispered amongst them.

“What a bad girl. Please be nice your boyfriend girlies, we have feelings too. Or else, all of us will end up heartbroken like Mr. Jeon here” Mr. Yoon tuts playfully, patting Wonwoo on the back. You on the other hand notices the glares his fangirls threw your way, but you pay them no mind. Your eyes met with Seungkwan, the latter just nodding along signalling you he got what you were thinking about.

It’s almost the end of school day when your instincts prove you right. You were dragged by a bunch of girls to the swimming pool– pushed to stand on the edge while the rest of them surrounded you. You knew why they deliberately chose to drag you here, out of all the places in the school, because this is the only place Wonwoo would not come into. The safest place to assault someone because of him, in the name of ‘protecting’ him. Plus, it’s winter right now and the pool is out of bounds for the students.

“Are you Mr. Jeon’s ex-girlfriend?” one of them asked. She was the supposed leader of the fanclub, a self-proclaimed fan of the Math teacher. You remained stoic, showing no emotions on your face.

“I knew you were childhood friends with his brother, Seokmin. but , you dared to flirt with him too? And even broke his heart? And now you’re dating his brother?” another voice condemned.

“What has all that information has anything to do with you guys?” you questioned, unbothered.

“Aren’t you being a bitch right now?! You hurt Mr. Jeon’s feelings and now you’re playing with his brother. You think we’ll let a girl like you get close with them? Who do you think you are?” the leader yelled.

“Damn girl, your voice,” you winces, glaring at her. You stood up straighter, raising one eyebrows in a challenging manner.

“Do you think Mr. Jeon would appreciate you harrassing his ‘ex’ like this behind his back? Do you actually think he’d thanked you guys for dealing with his ‘ex’ for him? At the place he fears the most? Stop being delusional” you scoffed.

“We don’t care what he thinks. We’re dealing with you here because you don’t deserve to be around them at all. Not a poor girl like you with no dad! Mr. Jeon and Seokmin are precious, someone as disgusting as you doesn’t deserve to hover around them. We’re protecting them!”

“You don’t care what he thinks and yet you say you’re protecting them? What a contradiction. How can you guys be so selfish? It’s embarrassing” you chuckled, sarcasm heavy in your tone.

“Who do you think you are, you rude bitch?!” the leader screamed in your face, tugging at the collar of your coat harshly.

“I’m his student, who actually cares about what he thinks unlike you guys” you spat, successfully irritating the girls more. You only managed to hear the door to the pool bursts open and a shout before you were thrown into the water, your heavy backpack and thick coat pulling you down even more. Shucking off your backpack to lessen the weight, then you tried to remove your heavy coat. But you realized you’ll be drowned even before you manage to unbutton the fabric.

“Seungkwan-ah!” you gasped, hanging off the edge of the pool. You noticed it was Mr. Yoon who was scolding the girls and no Wonwoo in sight.

“Gosh, what happened to you?” Seungkwan muttered angrily, hauling you out of the water like a fish caught. You panted, breathing heavily as you lay down on the edge, gulping as much air as you could.

“What happened here? This is a prohibited place during winter. Did the school not tell you that? You are seniors already,” Mr. Yoon scolded, looking between you and the groupies.

“I don’t have anything to say. I was dragged here without consent” you answered, trembling from the cold of the wet clothes. Soonyoung burst in through the door a second later, towels and your gym clothes in his hands.

“What happened? Seungkwan told me to bring you your gym clothes and towels here?” he rushed, panicked to see your state.

“Go change first, we’ll talk after that” Mr. Yoon ordered. Seungkwan pulled you up to stand on your feet, then helped you shrugged the heavy fabric off your shoulders– leaving you in your uniform. You trotted to the bathroom with spare clothes in hand.

“You’re lucky its close to graduation that these kind of things happened. Or else, I’m not sure what the principal will do with you. Y/n, go collect your things from the pool, the rest of you go straight home” Mr. Yoon sighed. You just nodded and walked away, fetching your stuff that the janitor had helped fished out of the pool. You thanked them, wished them a happy holiday and began dragging the wet stuff behind you.

You told Seungkwan and Soonyoung to go first since they had to run errands for their family and Seokmin has gone home with his brother. You’re glad that the brothers weren’t around when something like this happened, because to you, it’s embarrassing. To be bullied at this age, and because of something so ridiculous. You’re used to be mocked as poor girl without a dad, you can take it all and it wasn’t as bad before because Seungkwan and Soonyoung were always there to chase off anyone who dares to open their mouth to insult you. But now that Wonwoo is here, it became terribly worse, just because you have that ‘childhood friend’ connection with him.

You won’t tell him what happened today either, because you refused to make him worry and blame himself. Wonwoo doesn’t deserve that. So, when Wonwoo appeared in front of your door teary-eyed that night, you knew things are about to go down real bad.

“I’m in love with Y/n”

Jisoo, who had just came home that day for Christmas went silent. His smile fell and the air around them hangs heavy. Your mom was with them in the living room too, while you were out with your friends for Christmas shopping. Wonwoo, who was sitting on his knees kept his head low, eyes staring at his fists that were clenching the fabrics of his slacks tightly on his lap.

“What? I didn’t catch you” Jisoo questioned, trying to put a smile on his face again.

“I’m in love with Y/n. I’ve been dating her for almost 3 months. And, I know that I shouldn’t keep this from you because you are my best friend. I’m sorry, Jisoo” Wonwoo explained. A punch was thrown, and the younger guy ended up on the floor, clutching his bruised cheek.

“She’s a minor, you bastard! And your student! Are you crazy??? She’s my baby!” Jisoo yelled, throwing punches after punches until he ended up straddling Wonwoo’s torso and hit him continuously.

“Jisoo! Stop, you’re hurting him” his mom called out.

“I trusted you! And this is what you did to me? You’re sick! Going after my sister behind my back?!!” Jisoo yelled, still punching him– not caring about his mom's cries. His best friend laid there, just taking the hits given to him without any fights at all.

You ran back home after getting a call from your mother, saying your brother is livid and has been beating the living out of his best friend, with your best friends in tow. As soon as you opened the door, your heart broke at the sight of Wonwoo, bloodied and pliant under your brother who was still screaming at him and punching his face.

“JISOO! ENOUGH!” You screamed, pulling him back by his shoulder only for you to receive a punch on your face too, making you stumble back.

“Jisoo! What are you doing?! It’s your sister!” your mom screamed, rushing towards you to make sure you’re okay. You stood up quickly, pulling your brother off Wonwoo with all your might and threw him on the couch.

“Take Wonwoo away, Seokmin. Call an ambulance, make sure he’s okay” you say before Jisoo yanks your hair harshly.

“YOU’RE SIDING WITH HIM?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” he yelled in your face.

“I should be the one to ask that! What’s wrong with you? He’s your best friend” you shouted back, trying to get him to release you.

“I have no best friend who’s a sicko like him! And you shouldn’t be around someone like that!” he exclaimed, throwing you away harshly until your side hits the coffee table.

“I’m turning 18 in 2 weeks! I can do what I wish. You have no control over me” you argued, only to earn you a harsh slap to your left cheek, making you fall to the floor, your lips cracking from the impact. You wince in pain, but the stinging in your scalp is back when your hair is pulled harshly again, to make you look at your brother. His eyes are crazy right now, it scares you to the core. Your mom froze on her spot to see his son beating up his sister for being in a relationship with his best friend but at this point, she wasn’t so sure what was the reason behind this fight anymore.

She looked to her right, to your three best friends, who was busy tending to Wonwoo, while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Her eyes made contact with Soonyoung, who came up to her and pulled her into an embrace.

You didn’t realize how long had you been fighting with your brother, you feel lightheaded after bumping your head on the drawer when you’re struggling with Jisoo who went insane.

“I SENT YOU TO SCHOOL FOR YOU TO STUDY! NOT FOR YOU TO FLIRT WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKER! HOW MANY MORE BEATINGS SHOULD I GIVE YOU FOR YOU TO GET THAT IN YOUR STUPID BRAIN?!” another punch to your right cheek this time, before the weight on your body is pulled off of you.

Jisoo is being pulled away by police officers from what you could see with your blurry vision, Wonwoo being taken away into an ambulance with Seokmin following him. You saw Soonyoung who was patting your mom on the back to calm her crying, then you saw the phone clutched tightly in her hand. You heard Seungkwan calling for you from your side but your eyes locked with your mom's.

“I’m sorry, mom” you breathed before your vision turned black.

…

You opened your eyes three days later, in a hospital with only your mom with you. She looked sad and stressed. Her eyes are tired, there are bags under them. She told you that Seokmin, Seungkwan and Soonyoung had testified against Jisoo, for assaulting them and the judges are waiting for you to release his verdict.

“Are you sure you want to do this, mom? He’s your son” you say quietly, toying with your food. Your mom stayed silent, folding the towels and clothes into the cabinet as she tidied up your space.

“We can drop the charges and let him free, if you want. I mean, being in the prison must be hard for him–”

“And what? Let him hurt you again? He may be my son, but you are my daughter too. He went on about Wonwoo betraying his trust but he betrayed mine too! He hurt you behind my back. No, actually, this is my fault for always absent. For not being there for you, I was afraid that we wouldn’t get enough to eat to abandon your safety. You must have been so scared, my baby” your mother broke down. Her hands clutching at your shoulders tightly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry…”

“Let’s get you to testify, okay? He deserves a punishment” your mom sobbed, and you only nodded.

When she learned how long you had been beaten by Jisoo, your mother broke down.

At the age of eleven, you had to face your brother's wrath even though it was never your fault to begin with. You had shielded your friends from Jisoo's assault when they accidentally knocked over a plate one day when they came over. It started light, with just a cane but Jisoo eventually lost his control seeing how well you took the beatings.

Seungkwan had begged you to tell your mom and asked for help, but you refused because you solely believed that might hurt Jisoo. You believed that Jisoo had become like this because he's been exhausted and overworked since you came to live with them. So the only way to help him is to let him punish you.

But what you didn't know is that he became addicted with that power he had over you. He had someone he can lash out to when something goes wrong.

"He told me it was for my own good, it was my punishment for being naughty. So, I gladly accepted it and kept quiet," you said silently, not looking the police officer in the eyes. Your mother felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest, punching the air out of her lungs.

"What's the worst injury he inflicted on you?" The officer asked, jotting down on his notebook.

"I broke my arm once when I tried to cover myself. Twisted my ankle when he pushed me down two flights of stairs and hit my head on the dresser a couple times" you tried not to look at your mom, when she let out a shuddering breath, she was seated on the chair next to your bed, trying to hold back her tears from falling.

The police officer turned towards your mother with a grim expression coloring his face. You knew it wouldn't be good news, Jisoo might be prisoned for more than a year, if you're well averse about the law. The two adults walked out of the room, to talk amongst themselves and you found yourself reaching for your phone on the side table.

There was a text from Seokmin, saying he's there too in the hospital with Wonwoo but his parents won't let him see you due to the situation with Jisoo.

'But, they're not here now,' was all it took for you to make a mad dash towards the upper floors where Wonwoo's ward was located. You got a stern scolding from the nurse to be careful which you only apologized sheepishly and continued your journey.

You saw Seokmin standing in front of a door to a ward room, scrolling down at his phone, with a worried look on his face.

"Seokmin," you called out weakly, feeling your muscles burn from your sudden spree. He saw you and quickly rushed towards you to pull you into his embrace. Seokmin was crying, apologizing for not coming to you quickly.

"It's fine. There's nothing you can do. Your parents must have their reasons to not let me see you anymore" you say but he shook his head, pulling away to look at you with teary eyes and a pout on his pretty face.

"You know you'll always be my best friend right? I'll find a way to go see you after this, so don't be sad, okay? I'll bring Wonu too" he sobbed, unable to stop the tears streaming down his cheeks. He said that, but he's crying harder than you are. But, only because Seokmin is such a pure soul who is so sensitive about everything, and tends to cry easily, especially at other people's misery.

You followed the boy into the ward room to check on his brother, and your heart broke yet again at the sight of your boyfriend. His beautiful face was littered with red and purple bruises everywhere, lips cracked at the sides, cuts on his forehead and the underside of his brow.

"I'm sorry that I let this happen to you," you croaked, gently caressing his face with your knuckles. Wonwoo stirred in his sleep, brows furrowing. You reached for something in the pocket of your coat, something that you stuffed there in a rush to get home from shopping the other day.

It was a box of a silver bracelet that you bought for him. It wasn't really expensive, but you still worked your ass off for it. It was a simple silver bracelet, with a diamond shaped piece with his name and a cute cat as charms.

You put it on him, loving the way it dangles around his left wrist prettily. Seokmin was guarding the door, constantly checking his phone in case his parents decided to come back.

"I have to go now. I'll come back to you again, when the time is right, I promise. I love you so much" you sobbed, kissing the crown of his hair and forehead. Seokmin, who heard what you said, turned his head towards you so quickly he almost gave himself a whiplash, eyes widening in terror.

"What… What are you saying? You're talking like you want to go somewhere far. Like you won't see us again. What are you planning?!" He urged, panic lacing in his voice. He grabbed your arms, squeezing them tightly without meaning to and only stopped when you wince in pain.

"What are you planning? Don't go, don't go anywhere. You know none of this was your fault right? You couldn't have guessed he would do that to my brother, to his best friend! You did everything you could, Y/n, don't go" Seokmin pleaded, fat droplets of tears rolling down his face again. He's hiccuping now, from how bad he's sobbing, shaking your smaller form to listen to him.

You don't say anything, only smiling sadly at him which made him break down even more. You pulled him into a hug, rubbing circles on his back as he sobbed.

"I'm sorry, Seokmin. Please tell Seungkwan and Soonyoung too. I love you guys so much. Thank you for being my friends" you choked, voice breaking at the end.

Just like that, you disappeared from their life.

10 years later.

You arrived at the lobby for the engagement party that will be held on the garden rooftop of the hotel. Nervously, you stood in front of the large mirror to check your outfit and makeup. You were wearing a long, backless, black satin slip dress with cowl neck, and spaghetti straps. There's a slit up to your thigh, and you wore a pair of black pumps to match the dress, and a small clutch bag in your hand.

You haven't attended an engagement party in a while, much less one of your closest friends is the host so you're very nervous. You took a very long time to choose the outfit, until you thought black is the safest option, so you went with it.

Glancing at the mirror one last time, you sighed heavily before making way towards the elevator. It was early spring, still a bit chilly but the weather was so nice and the flowers started to bloom already, decorating the glass hall with beautiful colors.

Pushing open the heavy set of doors, your eyes met with the ones you haven't met in 10 years, one of your best friends, Seungkwan.

“You bitch, is that really you Hong Y/n?!” He screamed, gaining the attention of the small crowd who was already there. You cowered, not liking the attention, pressing your pointer finger on your lips to shut him up.

“Did you know how long I've been trying to find you?! You didn't even tell me you're leaving, you nasty piece of shit and now you're suddenly back?! How dare you, you bastard–” Seungkwan cursed before he practically bawled his eyes out right then and there.

“Seungkwan-ah, no! Not now, please, I'm sorry” you begged, pulling him into your arms trying to hold back your tears. You know you will cry tonight, the only reason you're putting on absolutely waterproof makeup tonight, but you still try not to cry, at least not this early into the party.

“I miss you, you piece of shit. How are you alive without me? Who reminded you to take all those vitamins if it's not me?! At least you're looking so snatched so I'm not gonna be ashamed to admit you as my best friend” He grumbled, pulling away to look at your face as fat tears still rolled down his eyes.

“It's you, I was reminded of your voice nagging me all the time, if I dared to skip my vitamins. Thank you for keeping me alive, even from far away” you laughed, wiping his tears with your thumbs. He rolled his eyes at you, while muttering a small “of course”.

“Come on, Soonyoung's with the DJ. He needs to see you” he said, tangling your arms together and navigating you through the hall to go meet Soonyoung. But, you bumped into someone you missed so dearly on the way there. The reason why you left South Korea in the first place to study abroad.

“Wonwoo-hyung! Y/nie is back! See!” Seungkwan chirped excitedly. Wonwoo was frozen in his spot, eyes wide open as saucers. He still looked dashing as always, in his black suit with black tie, hair slicked black neatly with black horn-rimmed glasses decorating his handsome face. His obsidian jewel met yours, there's flashes of emotions in them and you could even see them turned glassy before someone interrupted your moment.

“Wonu, who's this?” Someone asked, it was a woman's voice and you barely managed to hold your glare before turning towards the voice. She was standing close to Wonwoo's side, looking up at him before turning towards you, giving you once over.

“It's my best friend, Y/nie. Y/n, this is Yul-noona. Wonwoo-hyung’s… er…” Seungkwan trailed, looking everywhere until the lady connected the sentence.

“Future fiancée. I'm his future fiancée” she answered, holding out her hand for you to shake. A smile curls on her lips. You could see Wonwoo's jaw tightened, the look in his eyes hardened, like he didn't want to be there, as if he wished the ground would just open up and swallow him.

“I'm Hong Y/n. The old friend. Nice to meet you” you smiled, it was fake, but still a smile– shaking her hand. You swore you could see the hurt in the older man's eyes when you introduced yourself as the old friend, nothing more than that. She couldn't see this, but you know Wonwoo's hinting something towards you, he's letting you see the emotions in his eyes but there's nothing you can do.

Of course, you expected this. No one is willing to wait for someone that long. People are bound to get tired at some point. It wasn't Wonwoo's fault that he found someone to replace you. In fact, you dated some guys too, when you're trying to move on from him. But you broke it all off because it wasn't fair for them. But still, it still hurts like a bitch to see him with a woman that's not you. Wonwoo is making plans to have a family with a woman that's not you, and you couldn't do anything about it.

You excused yourself with Seungkwan in search of Soonyoung, and you could see the latter was babbling nonsense at the DJ who looked so done before the party even started. You laughed.

“Kwon Soonyoung!” Seungkwan called out, pointing towards you as soon as the said male turned towards him. Soonyoung visibly gasped, before jumping off the stage to make a dash towards you. He practically swept you off your feet as he twirled you around before embracing you in a tight hug.

“I miss you!! How the hell did you end up here, not that that matters because I'm so happy to see you again but how the hell?!!” he cried, pulling away, squishing your cheeks with both of his hands.

“I met her at a conference 2 years ago and have been in contact since then. So I invited her today,” a voice answered from behind Soonyoung. It was the soon-to-be groom himself, Seokmin.

“Minie~” you coo, moving to give him a hug too which he gladly accepted with tiny jumps.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! 2 YEARS?? AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL US?!” Seungkwan barked, pulling you away from Seokmin to nag at him, eyes blazing with betrayal.

“DID YOU NOT TRUST US TOO JUST LIKE HOW Y/NIE AND WONWOO-HYUNG KEPT THEIR RELATIONSHIP A SECRET FROM US 10 YEARS AGO?!” Soonyoung added. You flinched from their loud voices, and you could feel all eyes looking at you, including Wonwoo and Yul’s.

“Let's not do this here, I was just respecting Y/n’s decision. She wasn't ready to come back so I wanted to give her time” Seokmin reasoned. The two calmed down almost immediately, frown disappearing as they looked over your form and crowd over you to pull you into a hug.

The rest of the party went smoothly, it was fun. As it turns out, Seokmin's fiancée was your roommate back in college. She went back to Korea as soon as you graduated and you haven't had the chance to reconnect with her until now. You were really happy for them, because they really suit each other, and are so sickeningly in love. What a small world.

You were just sitting at your table, watching the couple dance to the slow beat of the song, while your other two rowdy friends were going around practically everywhere, hyping up the crowd.

“Can I sit next to you?” A voice asked and you just agreed without thinking, only to see that it was Wonwoo. You froze.

“They're still rowdy as always, aren't they?” He chuckled, trying to make a conversation with you. You just smiled and nodded.

“How are you doing? I haven't seen you in so long” he inquired, slowly swirling the glass of red wine in his hand.

“I'm fine. Just alive and breathing,” you say with a sigh. You couldn't understand why it hurts to talk to him again. Maybe because your heart still yearns for him but he doesn't reciprocate that.

You were the one who left him– your mind supplies helpfully.

“How are you?” You asked, wouldn't want to seem rude and uncaring. He was silent for a while before letting out a rather heavy exhale.

“To be honest, when you left, I wasn't myself. I went insane. I went crazy, I was mad. I cried every single day. I can't accept the fact that you left me. But then I remembered I was the one who left first. I remember Seokmin telling me how sad and heartbroken you were. Even at that time, it must have been very heartbreaking for you too, wasn't it?” Wonwoo said, his voice was soft and soothing and you missed it so bad. You were silent, so he continued.

“I'm sorry that I didn't notice you were in pain. I'm sorry that you had to go through all those painful moments alone. You were so small, but you're so strong at the same time. Seokmin told me that you protected me with your body that day too. Thank you, for being so brave, Y/n” he added, his voice faltering, dark eyes glimmering with unshed tears under the lights. He reached out to give your hand a squeeze, and immediately, droplets of tears fell on his knuckles when you looked down to see how easily he covered your smaller hand in his bigger ones.

Wonwoo almost wants to pull you towards him and give you kisses until you calmed down. You were whimpering sadly, like you're in pain but he had to settle with just squeezing your tiny hands for comfort.

“I'm going to the toilet, please excuse me” you stood up abruptly from your seat to leave the hall in search of a washroom. You left your clutch bag on the table so Wonwoo took it to bring it to you.

–

“Why are you doing this?! She's your sister!”

“It's not about my sister. It's about you! Stop dragging her into this!”

“What about me? Why can't you understand that I don't want him? I love you! And I know you do too,”

“No! Why are you settling for someone like me?! Wonwoo is a good guy, he can take good care of you, you two can be happy together–”

“We can't! We've tried this for almost a year, Jisoo. It won't work. Our hearts won't let us be together. I don't want him and he doesn't want me too. He loves someone else and you know that too!”

You froze when you heard Jisoo's name. You turned around to see Wonwoo behind you with your clutch in his hand. He had a sullen expression on his face. You turned back to confront the arguing pair, your eyes widened when you saw your brother.

“Y/n why– how are you here?” Jisoo stuttered, his eyes not believing what he saw in front of him.

“Why?” You asked., trying your hardest to stay calm despite your almost leaping out of your chest.

“Why what? What are you saying?” He questioned.

“Why did you say ‘why are you settling for someone like me’? What's wrong with you?” You retorted fist clenching at your sides to hide the fact that you're still shaking at the sight of your brother.

“Everything is wrong with me! You out of all people should know that. You didn't remember what I did to you? To your friends? To my best friend?” He asked.

“Mom told me you've been reflecting on yourself, going on therapies and you've been doing so well. So what's with you degrading yourself like this?” You gritted out. Jisoo was taken aback that you've been keeping up with him through your mom. He didn't think you'd care about him anymore after what he did to you. He thought you'd hate him.

“I don't deserve to be loved anymore after what I did to my baby sister, Y/n” he croaked, trying to hold back his tears.

“Who said that? These people know you're trying, I know. So what else matters?”

“Y/n…” Jisoo called, taking a step towards you which you responded by jumping back involuntarily, startled.

“You're still afraid of me,” he frowned.

“I- I do. But it doesn't mean that I hate you. I don't. And you're still my only brother. But give me some time to be able to be near you again. So don't do that, don't push the people who love you away. You've suffered enough” you rushed to answer. Jisoo's frown melted into a soft smile. His hand reached out to hold Yul’s, squeezing it softly.

“Do you still love him?” Jisoo asked you. You were silent for a bit and you could hear a breath hitched from behind you.

“I do. Even after all these years, all these mess and pains. I still love him very much. Even if I tried dating other guys, I only ended up breaking their hearts because I couldn't let him go. Even if he doesn't love me anymore, I still do” you breathed, the tears that had stopped a while ago coming back, wetting your cheeks.

Your brother stared at the person behind you, a soft and apologetic smile pursed on his face.

“You have your answer,” he said. Immediately, that person is intertwining his fingers with yours, tugging you along with him to who knows where. You arrived at the parking lot, and before you could comprehend anything, Wonwoo is shoving a helmet on your head, buckling it securely. He then zipped up a leather jacket around you that he stored under the seat of his big motorbike.

“Hop on,” he called out, staring at you with shiny and hopeful eyes but you're not entirely sure if your dress tonight is made for bike riding but who cares about that when you have gleaming kitten eyes in front of you.

Wonwoo made you wrap your arms around him securely after you finished tucking your skirt so the fabrics won't get caught in the rims.

“What the fuck!! Wonwoo, too fast!” You screamed as he zoomed away through the night, passing buildings and trees. You're not sure where he's taking you but you just got to trust him. You ended up in another parking lot, this time it was in an apartment complex.

It was somewhat familiar, maybe you have been here before but you’re not remembering it clearly. But then it came back to you in slow motions, as Wonwoo guided you through the hallway towards his apartment. He let you in as you took hesitant steps, removing your heels at the doorway as he shuffled inside, turning on the lights to illuminate the dark apartment. It was just as you remember, the change being he has more shelves now and there’s cat towers, box houses and playpens.

“I’m home,” he said and a bunch of furry little kids, three to be exact– surround him in an instant. They were all black. He immediately took a seat in the middle of the living room to let those kids hover around him, asking for attention. A curious little one sneaked on you, sniffing at your legs who was still standing awkwardly at the doorway. A thought appeared in your head and you looked at Wonwoo who only smiled as if he understood what you were thinking.

“Are they Mong’s family?” you asked, remembering the black cat that you picked up from the street on your way home from school back then.

“Yeah. One of them was her child. The other two, I adopted them 3 years ago,” he explained. You looked around, for a sign of Mong, thinking she might be sleeping or hiding as she’s a senior already.

“Mong had passed. Last week. She had missed you terribly ever since you left, barely survived when she was delivering, only one of her litters survived, who are looking at you right now. We stayed together comforting each other these whole time but I think she needed to rest now. I kept her ash after cremation in case you’d want to see her when you came back,” he says, standing up to take your hand and tug you towards the glass shelf next to his TV. he showed you the small urn that kept your beloved pet’s ashes and the small memorial space he made for her.

“I’m sorry I was so late…” you croaked, choking up on your tears again.

“Since when have you become such a cry baby? My Y/n was very brave back then” he chuckled, teasing you as he pulled you into his warm embrace. You love the way he called you as ‘his’, your heart fluttering in your chest. Inhaling his musky scent, you let your head rest on his broad shoulder.

“It’s you. For me, it’s still you. The one for me, it’s still you. It has never changed, after all these time, no matter how far apart we are, for me it’s still you. Even when you weren’t here with me, the way I live resemble you. I was able to be brave because you taught me to, and that I knew you’ll come back, eventually. I won’t let you go anymore, not anymore, ever. I love you, Y/n. i love you very, very much. Will you please be mine again?”

He was hugging you so closely to his chest, letting you hear his frenzied heartbeat, large hands at the small of your back and one your nape. You were silent because you’re basking in his warmth but he mistook it for disagreement so he pulled away, to look at you, panic in his eyes.

“I’m sorry for proposing like this, I promise I’ll buy you rings, I’ll buy you a house, a car if that’s what you want, anything, can you please let me be yours again? I promise I’ll bring you a ring next time, tomorrow even! Please be mine–” he rambled, eyes looking everywhere until you squish his cheeks with your hands. His eyes blinked in confusion.

“Nonu, calm down!” you laughed softly at his panicked state, your eyes crinkling. Thumbs gently caressing his handsome face as you stared at him. Wonwoo calmed down when he saw the look in your eyes.

He realized you weren’t planning to go anywhere anymore, that you're right there, in front of him, ready to listen to whatever he has to say. Not moving even an inch away from his hold. You're there, with him, at last.

The dam to his waterlines broke, clear droplets streaming down like waterfalls. The relief washing his form to know that you're finally there, in his arms is beyond his imagination. He couldn't utter how happy he is at the moment, how grateful he felt.

“It's still you” he choked out, pulling you flush against him, face hiding in the crook of your neck. Hands resting on your hips, he let out shuddered breaths, before wrapping his arms tighter around your torso, engulfing you fully in his warmth. You curled your own set of arms around his neck, fingers playing with his hair on his nape while your other hand patted his back comfortingly.

“It's still you for me too. I love you, Wonu. I'm all yours. Has always been and will always be,” you whispered into his ears. He pulled away again to stare at you, your eyes twinkling under the dim lighting of his living room. You wipe away his tears with your thumb, cooing at how cute he looked, like a lost kitten and he pouted, before a smile crawling across his features again. He nuzzled his nose with yours, slowly leaning and capturing your lips in a soft kiss, sealing the vow of love you shared.

He misses this, misses your touch and your lingering scent floating around him, burning his skin. Before he could deepen the kiss, you pulled away in a hurry, scrambling to find your clutch bag that you've forgotten.

“What's wrong?” He asked, tone heavy with concern as he eyes your form crouching down on the floor to pull something out of the bag. His eyes widened when he saw a black velvet box with matching rings in it. The design was simple and elegant but he could tell how much thought you put into it. To say he was impressed was an understatement, because it was beyond that. You never fail to amaze him.

“I did say I'll come back to you again when the time is right. So, I've been preparing these for almost a year and got this custom made to our sizes and designed it according to our preference. But you were planning to get engaged with someone else?! I almost threw it in your face!” you say before ended up grumbling cutely at him, a pout on your lips.

He laughed at you, no wonder you were trying so hard not to glare at Yul when she came to him earlier. Instead of being disappointed, you were actually mad that someone tried to take him away from you. This side of you has always been amusing to him.

“Why are you laughing? Did you not see how close she was standing next to you? Are you sure you deserve this? Or, I will return it to the store later–”

“We love each other right? We just sealed our vows with a kiss. Am I not the rightful lover of yours? I wanna be yours, so you should put a mark on me so that today's incident won't happen again. If it did, you can just give them your hardest glare, babe. You looked so hot earlier,” he snickered, arms coiling around your waist.

“Are you playing with me right now?” You eyed him suspiciously. He grinned lopsidedly, before shaking his head, then planting kisses all over your face.

“I'm all yours, baby. But, I'll buy us our rings next time. I can't let my baby be my provider even though I know you're more than able to afford it now. But, give me my chance to pamper you like a spoilt princess you deserve to be” he coos. You finally laugh, finding it ridiculous how you're all tears earlier and all of sudden, bickering like you used to be out of jealousy and adoration. He smiles when you slide the ring onto his ring finger and he does the same to you, ending it with a kiss to your ring finger.

You kissed again, passionately this time, with a promise to stay together through life, never running away from each other again. Promising to still be each other's lover until the end of time.

-Fin-

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME BALDUR'S GATE 3 / PART ONE

i think you're past the point of saving.

together we might survive.

get me out of this damn thing.

we have no time for stragglers.

do you intend to die for a stranger?

i thought that damn thing was going to be my coffin.

you keep dangerous company.

we can watch each other's backs along the way.

enough of this chatter.

who put you in charge?

i'll trust my own judgement.

a miracle, given everything you've been through.

it'll all be for nothing if you don't find help soon.

you're alive. i'm alive. how is this possible?

seems like we're the lucky ones, judging by all the corpses strewn about.

anything's an improvement on where we just came from.

'we'? you want to stay together?

we need each other.

i can't think of better company.

i wanted to thank you again.

you should be furious, shouldn't you?

kill it yourself — you look capable enough.

i was hoping for a kind soul.

let's try to keep that lovely neck of yours in one piece.

no need for this to get messy.

i need her alive.

and to think i was ready to decorate the ground with your innards.

please, allow me to introduce myself.

of course it'll turn me into a monster.

you should travel with me.

our odds are better together.

i was ready to go this alone.

maybe sticking with the herd isn't such a bad idea.

you seem like a useful person to know.

let's hope any future acquaintances don't hold a blade to your throat by way of introduction.

no harm in a little mystery.

conversation shouldn't be made, it should be grown.

maybe i'd like to get to know you better.

i'm usually better at this.

couldn't have phrased it more repellently myself.

you don't happen to be a cleric, by any chance? a doctor, surgeon? uncannily adroit with a knitting needle?

it's not exactly a common affliction.

a parasite shared is a parasite halved.

you're both twice as tall as me but have half the bloody backbone.

no point getting killed.

second worm gets the cheese and all.

nobody's getting any damn cheese.

she obviously sees your kindness as weakness.

don't let her take advantage.

a simply 'thank you' wouldn't go amiss.

your friends abandoned you.

i've got plenty of friends who aren't soft.

let's just hope she reserves those impulses for any common foes.

what a curious way to awaken.

what is the worth of a single mortal's life?

something the matter?

you must have thoughts about our little stowaways.

thinking about it won't help.

i suppose we'd go our separate ways — not a slight on your company, of course.

no reason for us to not stay together if we get on well.

if we do survive, we'll have separate lives to return to.

let's just say it's a very person, very private acquaintance.

you're not the kind of company i'd keep willingly.

perhaps i'll return the favor at some point.

she's delightful, in a very 'look at me twice and i'll dismember you' kind of way.

i understand much beyond your comprehension.

you'd do well to observe more and question less.

and they didn't cut you from navel to neck?

i am still getting used to people like you.

that large, fleshy nose of yours looks like a mistake.

best to keep quiet, lest any drivel leak from your lips.

i do not intend to stay long in this place.

may your actions express the same mettle.

anomalies lead to surprises.

what hasn't happened may yet come to pass.

not a collaboration i'd have anticipated.

can't you tell me something real about you?

i have a great respect for privacy, especially my own.

i have a very disciplined mind.

those tricks won't work on me.

please don't try that again unless i invite you to.

we meet again, as predicted.

care to explain why you're helping me?

what kind of services can a skeleton offer?

a monster forms inside us, and you care to be idle?

i knew your kind to be fragile.

don't you know an exhausted warrior is an ineffective one?

it's a thickheaded notion in a complex circumstance.

what were you two talking about?

if that was any of your business, we'd have called you over.

your business is mine.

we're entwined.

if we're to survive, we need to trust each other.

you seem reliable.

we're overdue some good fortune.

[moonlightazriel]

Chapter 18: Never forget you /// Azriel X F!Reader

Summary: Y/N attend one last event before she returns to her home permanently.

Word Count: 3,6K

Warnings: SMUT and angst...

Notes: This chapter was hard to write heheeh and in my head they're dancing to Por Una Cabeza at that scene hahahaha

Main Masterlist

Worlds Apart Masterlist

Y/N sighed, her hand high in the air, unsure if she should knock on his door or not. It was almost a week since they defeated Mantyx, Azriel’s injuries took longer to heal this time, and despite wanting to see him the second they departed, she gave space for him and his family.

She wanted to see him, feeding on the crumbles of information that Nesta gave her everyday. The oldest Archeron, alongside Elain, tried to convince her to go see him sooner, but she didn’t want to bother, and some alone time was what she needed after opening her heart like that for him.

50 years had passed since she allowed a male to have a hold of her heart and now she was scared, she had given it to him without even noticing, she was his but they couldn’t stay together, would life always be so unfair to her? She had to go back and keep Asterin’s legacy, she would do her duty. 

“He’s been asking for you every day.” A voice startled her and she turned to see Cassian leaning on the wall behind her, his eyes scanning her up and down. “Why’d you never come?” 

“He needed time to heal.” She shyly replied, like she had been caught doing something she shouldn't.

“He needed you.” Cassian simply said and she felt her heart squeeze in her chest, guilty spreading like poison and making her guts twist. “Don’t make him wait any longer.” He tipped his chin in the direction of the door and she nodded, raising her hand and knocking three times. 

At the sound of Azriel’s raspy voice allowing her in, she stepped inside, being greeted by a wave of his shadows eagerly assessing her, travelling up and down her body, leaving goosebumps in their trace. She giggled at the feeling, her eyes meeting him as she did it.

“I thought you had left without saying goodbye.” He joked but she could see the pain reflected in his hazel orbs. 

“I’m sorry, I thought you needed space.” Azriel patted the empty spot by his side and she quickly sat, basking in the smell of him that filled her senses, warmth irradiated from his body and she almost melted in it, she had missed him. 

“From their constant worry and not even letting me lift a fork, maybe. But never from you.” His scarred hand slides over the soft fabric of the blankets that covered him, finding their resting spot on top of hers.

“I didn’t realise you wanted me here.” She admitted and Azriel laughed a little.

“After you just told me you loved me? There’s no other place that I would rather be than by your side.” She felt the blood heating her cheeks and Azriel marvelled at the sight of her odd blush, blue suited her so well. “Did you really mean it?” 

He had to ask, he had to know. Despite understanding that she needed time to face her feelings towards him, an insecure part of him wondered if he had imagined it, if she wasn’t saying out of pity, he had sunken in those thoughts everyday, but seeing her right now, made all of his worries vanish. 

“Of course I mean it.” She spoke so quickly, like thinking otherwise was such an outrageous thought. “You have my heart.”

“Then I'll gladly keep it.” He said and pulled her to lean on his chest, she rested her head above his heart, hearing the soft beats of it, trying to focus on anything else other than the sound of her heart breaking even further. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

After visiting him for the first time, she couldn't find it in herself to be away from him. As he got better, they strolled through the gardens, sparred in the training ring in the House of Wind and sat together by the Rainbow. 

But as much as she wanted to stay in his arms forever, there was a gnawing feeling in her gut, telling her that she was failing and that she didn't belong there. That he would eventually get sick of her and she would be alone again, those thoughts coming late at night when she couldn't sleep, her eyes scanning his soft features, trying to commit everything to memory while she still could. 

Every night she would pretend to be asleep, trying to keep her frantic thoughts calm, but to no avail. As Nesta had mastered the art of opening the gate in Ramiel, the day of her departure was getting closer, making her uneasy. 

There was still one more thing that she needed to do before going back, and that was to attend the coronation of Eris. As soon as the Vanserras went back to their court, Eris finally gathered the courage to challenge his father, the old fae had lost everything to his son, and was exiled to Mother knows where, so he could never harm anyone again. 

The invite included the whole inner circle of Rhysand, and Lucien made it extra clear that he wanted her there, and Y/N couldn't say no to him, she could never say no to him. So a day after the celebrations, they would all gather one last time, to say their goodbyes to her. 

She didn't know if she would ever find a way back, the thought of leaving everything behind was something she tried not thinking about often, cuz it hurt her deeply. Never seeing Azriel again, not being able to join the Valkyries in training, not learning from Elain as she had promised she would. All of those things chirped away bits of her heart, and she would never recover them. She would miss this place. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

The winds of the Autumn Court carried a soft smell of leaves and maple. The soft hustling of the trees mixed with the melody the band was playing made the whole atmosphere feel warm and magical. 

The guests dressed in orange and earthy tones, she wore a terracotta dress, with a tight corset and a flowy tulle skirt. Her hair was pinned away from her face with silver accessories in the shape of leaves and little makeup painted her face. 

Y/N gripped Azriel's arm tighter as a cold breeze made her shiver, his hazel eyes turning towards her to check if she was okay, she gave him a big smile, one he would guard in his heart forever, she looked beautiful like that, with the faelights making her skin glow. 

Something in his chest sparked with life when he saw her approaching him back at the Night Court as they got ready to leave. Since he woke up after the battle against Mantyx, it was like something was missing from his mind, blurry moments where he couldn't remember for sure what had happened and he was still trying to get those memories back. 

They sat beside Nesta and Cassian, Rhys and Feyre were among the other High Lords and Elain sat with Lucien in the part reserved for family only. A priest had introduced Eris, the male walking in the corridor towards his throne. He knelt in front of the priest, professing his vows of putting the people first and being the best High Lord he could for his Court. 

The guests stood and bowed their heads towards the male as the crown rested atop his head and he sat on his throne, a proud smile gracing his features as he thanked everyone for coming and gave them a speech. 

Eris crossed the corridor again, each row of guests followed him outside where a feast was waiting for them. Around the whole Court, similar feasts were being held so everyone could celebrate the coronation as one. 

“Who would've thought that the Autumn Court could be so nice?” Nesta spoke, sipping on her  champagne. 

“With that fucker away to the confines of hell, it's certainly a decent place now.” Cassian replied, lifting his glass in a toast. “To never having to deal with Beron again.”

The four of them raised their glasses and giggled as it touched, the glasses clinking together. Food started to be served and they started to eat.

“Do you think we can dance after?” Azriel shyly asked and Y/N turned to him, those beautiful eyes looking at him with curiosity. 

“Yeah, of course.” She replied and saw how he blushed. 

“After I saw you with Lucien at the Hewn City, I knew I had to learn how to dance with you.” He told her and winked towards Nesta who had a grin on her face as she silently watched their exchange.

“You learned how to dance for me?” She breathed out and Azriel nodded. 

She didn't even give him time to think, dropping her fork and removing the napkin from her lap, she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the dancefloor. 

His hand circled her waist and the other grabbed hers, and as a more slow, passionate rhythm started to play, they danced along with it. The violin guided their movements, their eyes never leaving each other as they moved around. Their feet slid along the floor as Azriel spun her around. It was like the rest of the party didn't exist and they were the only two in the world. 

For someone as tall and strong as Azriel, his movements were like a river, and he moved graciously around, Nesta certainly had done a very great job in teaching him. The other couple soon joined them as Nesta couldn't hold herself back any longer, the only two couples on the dancefloor as the other guests watched. 

His grip on her was firm as he guided them. The four of them doing their moves, Nesta's and Y/N’s skirts brushing as the females spun really close but never touching, not ruining the other's dance. The song came to an end, and Azriel was panting as he leaned over her arched form, like a bow ready to snap. Her scent filled his nose and messed with his head.

His nose slowly slid along her exposed neck and she shivered at the touch. It took everything in him to remember they weren't alone as he helped her to her feet and the guests applauded them, some getting up to join the dance as a new song started. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

She took a deep breath, holding her hair in a bun atop her head, her back against the railing as she eyed the stars.

“Do you really have to leave?” Lucien asked as he sipped from a cup of whiskey. The two had sneaked out while Elain danced with Azriel and Nesta. 

She looked down on the balcony, those tiny figures dancing in the distance. And she turned back to her friend and the concerned filling his gaze.

“I have to…” Lucien nodded his head in understanding.

“I will miss you.” The male said, pulling her towards him for a tight hug. She wrapped him in her arms, feeling the tears clouding her vision as she felt his warmth, his golden heart thrumming against her chest. 

“You have no idea how I'm glad we met, I'll miss you too, Luci.” The male smiled at the nickname. 

“Me too, witchling, me too.” The balcony door opened and a smiling Elain entered followed by Azriel. Her hands smoothed over the fabric of her dress and she looked at Y/N, her kind brown eyes filled with sadness. 

“We'll leave you two alone.” She said, grabbing Lucien by the arm and dragging the male with her.

“Are you feeling better?” Azriel asked and she nodded. 

“I just needed some fresh air.” The male nodded, joining her against the stones that formed the balcony. “You put up quite a show down there.” She smiled at him.

“Did you enjoy my dancing skills?” He leaned towards her, his hands caging her hips against the balcony. 

“Very much.” Her breath got caught in her throat as his lips started to kiss the skin of her neck, sucking and biting gently. 

“How much?” He asked against her neck and she shivered. 

“To the point that all I could think was riding you right in the middle of the dancefloor.” Azriel grinned with that and stood again to look at her. 

“Then hold on tight.” He warned and she held the collar of his attire, the Shadowsinger just told Rhys that they would leave and winnowed them back to his room in the House of Wind. 

Her mouth was on his in a second, exploring hungrily as her hands roamed around, removing the coat and bursting the buttons out of their confinement to expose his chest to her. 

His shadows went to work, unlacing the corset that held her dress in place, eagerly working to strip her out of it as quickly as they could. Their tongues clashed against each other, making it hard to breathe as they fought for dominance. 

Her iron claws sliding up and down his abs, making him twitch with anticipation. As soon as her dress pooled at her feet, she stepped out of it. Her kisses trailing down to his neck and down his body, until she was kneeling at eye level with his crotch, her hands working to remove his belt and pants. 

Azriel shivered as he stood, her velvety mouth wrapped around his cock as it spring free from his breeches. He closed his eyes as he felt her taking him inch by inch, until she couldn't fit it anymore. Bobbing her head and cupping his balls, making him groan as pleasure builded up on his body. 

She licked the vein on the side, her tongue playing with the slip of his tip as she masturbated the rest with her hand. Drool leaked from the corners of her mouth as she took him again, fastening her movements until Azriel was a moaning mess, his hand clutched tightly to her scalp, guiding her movements until his cock twitched, hot jets of cum down her throat, she licked him clean, releasing it with a loud pop.

Azriel cupped her cheek, as she batted her lashes at him. He helped her up again, pulling her in for a kiss, feeling his taste on her tongue. He wanted to taste her so bad, but she pushed him to the bed. She removed her pants, her glorious breasts already exposed as she wore no bra underneath the dress. And as she sank down on him, taking him in her warm cunt, Azriel swore he had reached paradise. 

He sat as she rode him, his mouth attached to her breasts, switching from one to the other as he sucked and played with her hard nipples. Her arms caged him against her as she threw her head back in pleasure, feeling her orgasm building in her belly. 

She rolled her hips, angling her body so he would hit deeper inside her. Her lips were open and she moaned loudly, feeling Azriel hit her g spot every damn time, she was so stuffed of his cock that she could die there and she would do it happily. 

“I love you.” She said in between heavy breaths, Azriel looked at her, his heart beating fast in his chest..

“Say it again.” He demanded and she more than happily obligated. 

“I love you, Azriel.” The male lost his composure. 

He pushed his thumb into her mouth and she wrapped her tongue around it, wetting it for him. Azriel slid a hand in between them, finding her bundle of nerves on the apex of her thighs, rubbing circles until she couldn't hold any longer, her movements becoming sloppy as she came with a loud cry of his name. 

Azriel held her fragile body, snapping his hips up until he was spilling inside her, his hot cum dripping from her cunt and on his thighs, making her pant and wince as her sensitive walls tried to go back to normal. 

That night, they loved each other until the sun rose, lost In each other's body until they couldn't even lift a finger, tiredness weighing their bodies down as they laid to finally sleep. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

It was midday when they woke up, getting lost in each other again as they showered. Azriel silently helped her into her leathers, strapping her cloak and her sword for her as she adjusted her hair in a braid. 

The whole family waited for them, and as they sat to have a meal together, she could feel the sadness lingering around, she didn't want to leave but she had to, and by the looks of it, none of them wanted her to go back to. If things weren't so complicated.

Azriel didn't say a thing as he sat behind her on Meraxes, the wyvern silently flying towards Ramiel where the rest of them would winnow. She watched Velaris, the beautiful city getting smaller and smaller until it disappeared from her sight. She would miss it so much. 

Meraxes landed on the side of the mountain, his claws digging on the stone like they did on their first time at the House of Wind, that felt like a distant memory now. 

“I hate having to do it.” Nesta said as they approached. She held the wyrd keys in between trembling fingers, she didn't want to see her friend leave but no one would force her to stay. 

“It's what she decided, Nes.” Feyre said. 

“As the High Lord and Lady of the Night Court we thank you for helping us to get rid of a great threat for us. Your name will never be forgotten. As your friends, we will miss you.” Rhysand said, pulling her for a hug, being joined by Feyre. 

“You're strong and you have a great heart, never forget that.” Feyre whispered in her ear and she felt the tears getting harder to contain. 

“We're going to miss you in training.” Gwyn said and Emerie embraced the two females.

“Thank you for sharing what you knew with us, you would be a great Valkyrie.” The Illyrian female said and Y/N hugged them tightly. 

“It's going to be weird not buying him sheeps every day. Be safe out there.” Cassian said, pulling her for a hug as well. Tears now streamed freely on her face. 

“I never got the chance to teach you how to garden.” Elain said sadly, wiping her tears from her brown eyes. “Thank you for putting some sense in me, I couldn't be happier and with the right person.”

“Take care of him, Elain.” She held the middle Archeron sister's hand. 

“I promise.” The female said, and as in true Night Court style, the two felt their skin prick and Y/N looked at Elain's arm, where a fox carrying a rose in its mouth appeared, a matching one on herself, sealing their promise. 

“You still can stay with us, I'm sure Jurian and Vassa don't mind.” Lucien said, holding her so tight that she couldn't breath. 

“Tell them that I'll miss them too. Be happy Lucien, don't let anyone take anything from you ever again.” Lucien nodded.

“Never.” She smiled at him and he kissed her forehead. 

Nesta inserted the key into the slit, energising the gate with her power. A light appeared, like a beacon in the darkness. She had shown them what Erilea looked like, so Nesta kept that in mind and as Y/N looked up, she could see a bright sunny day on the other side. 

“If you ever need us, I will get you back.” Nesta said, pulling her for one last hug, she hated this, she wished they could have convinced her to stay. 

“Thank you Nes, you're a true friend.” She wiped the female's tears and Nesta laughed in between her cry. She loved Y/N.

The female lastly approached a quiet Azriel, he dreaded this moment but he would never do anything to make her unhappy, so he pulled her for a hug. Cupping her face in between his hands, he would never forget her. His shadows caressed her cheek and she giggled. 

“I love you, thank you for loving me too.” She said and he leaned his forehead against hers, kissing her passionately before he let her go.

“Even though this was all the time we had, I'm glad we had it at all. I love you, Y/N Blackbeak, and I always will.” And then she knew, she could never love anyone ever again because her heart would be here, with him, as long as she lived. 

He watched her climb Meraxes, flying towards the gap in the world. His head started to pound as the memories from that day with Mantyx filled his head, the missing pieces from the puzzle he was trying to complete. Clear as the day on the other side, he remembered. 

Mantyx said he would break the bond, the bond that tied the two together for the rest of their lives, and it was in pure agony that Azriel watched his mate disappear in that gate, his knees collapsing on the floor as he sobbed. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

As Y/N fell through the worlds, once again landing upside down, she groaned, feeling her empty chest and that bond alongside her soul. She looked around, for some reason she was sent to Terrasen, Orynth glowing in the distance. 

And as she took in the sight of that familiar place, breathed the air of her own world, she wished that Azriel had been selfish enough to beg her to stay.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

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There Is No Coming Back From This - Chapter 3

Characters: Stark!Reader, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes Summary: "It's her time, Tony. And I hate that as much as you do, but there's some things you can't fix. There is no coming back from this."

Bucky can't help but be really glad Steve refused to tell him anything about why he was going back to see Tony Stark and his kid.

Not that he really wanted to hear about anything about the Stark family anyway. 

He didn't have to watch the news for more than a minute to realize the breaking news was everywhere.

Tony Stark's daughter, a wanted fugitive, considered armed and dangerous, dosed with an untested serum of some kind, mysteriously disappeared from SWORD custody last night. 

And no matter how hard he tries not to, Bucky can't help but judge Tony for the actions that brought all this about. All he can think, who would willing test some serum on their own child? No one except Tony Stark.

And now he's implicated everyone around them. Including Steve. Who shouldn't have gone back in the first place. 

And now, all Bucky can do is hope that Steve made it out of there without getting caught up in another one of Tony Stark's messes. 

An urgent knock cuts through his watching session. He grumbles under his breath and flicks off the TV, listening for any signs of an unfriendly visitor. He quietly walks to the door, careful not to make a single sound. 

"Buck, it's me." Steve taps at the door in the intricate knocking patter only they knew. 

"Thank God, Steve." Bucky sighs in relief as he reaches the door. He swings the door open. "Honestly, I was worried you got mixed up with all that Stark nonsense. I mean, seriously, what is wrong with him? Testing a serum-"

"Bucky," Steve stops him, stepping a foot over the threshold. Bucky's smile drops as he finally notices the other person standing behind Steve. "I need your help."

Bucky shakes his head over and over and over. "Steve, tell me that is not who I think that is."

"Bucky, just hear me out."

"Steve, please, tell me that is not who I think it is!" Bucky begs, his eyes comically wide. He's not angry. In fact, he finds himself mostly concerned for Steve, who clearly seems to have lost his mind. 

"Please, we - I need your help. It's just for a little while."

"No!' Bucky hisses. "She can't stay here! Are you crazy?"

"Come on," Steve begs. "She's just a kid."

"She's a Stark! A Stark! She'll probably try to kill me in my sleep!"

"She can hear you," you sarcastically mutter, a little louder than intended. Both Steve and Bucky's eyes dart over to you, you immediately look away and feign innocence. 

"She's not going to kill you in your sleep," Steve promises. "She just got put in the middle of one of her father's messes. Something you, of all people, should be sympathetic to."

"I should be sympathetic? You want me to help the man that's very literally the reason we're both fugitives," Bucky scoffs. "No, this isn't my problem. I don't care."

"I'm not asking you to help him, I'm asking you to help me. I promised I'd keep her safe."

Bucky's hands fly up in frustration, "Well, why the hell would you promise that?"

"She's a good kid," Steve emphasizes, taking another step towards Bucky, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's just for a little while. Please?"

"Fine," Bucky acquiesces with a groan. He lets go of the door, allowing you both to enter. "Don't make me regret this, Steve." As you walk past the threshold, you can feel the ire radiating off of him, he sneers down at you, "Hope you're okay with sleeping on the floor, Princess."

"Well... this is gonna be fun," you sarcastically remark. 

"It won't be boring." Steve sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You should get some rest. It's been a long night." 

"It's 6 at night."

"And you've been on the run since 4 in the morning. Trust me, the adrenaline runs out."

And in spite of Bucky's promise, you didn't actually sleep on the floor. You take the small couch in the living room, curled up in the thin throw blanket with Steve rummaging through his bag. 

As it turns out, he was right about the adrenaline crash. The second you feel even remotely comfortable, you drift off into a restless sleep. As he sorts through his bag and plans out your next move, his eyes flicker back and forth to your sleeping figure. There was no hiding his concern. It was a lot to process, and he dreaded the moment the events of the last week hit you. In one week, you were dosed with a serum. Woke up from the brink of death with unfamiliar strength. You'd been forced out of your home and become a fugitive. 

It's no surprise to him that you toss and turn all night. Even bogged down by exhaustion, there's a part of him that wants to keep a close eye on you. He eventually dozes off, sleeping until the early morning light of the next morning. 

You're also woken up by the morning light streaming through the blinds of Bucky's hideout. You jolt up with a gasp at the unfamiliar scene. 

"Easy, kid," Steve mutters. "We're at Bucky's, remember?"

You shake your head, trying to clear the mental fog, "Right. Bucky. On the run."

"You alright?" Steve hedges. 

"Yeah, I'm fine." You rub your bleary eyes. You don't actually feel that rested. Still, you feel better than you did just last week. 

"Here," Steve offers, handing you a mug as you join him in the kitchenette. "Drink something."

"Thanks." You absentmindedly reach out and grab the mug. The second your hand closes around the mug, your grip shatters the mug. And as your luck would have it, it's at that moment that Bucky enters the room. 

He grimaces at you, then at shattered ceramic at your feet. "You broke my favorite mug."

"I-" you stammer in shock. 

"That was your only mug, Bucky," Steve reminds him. 

"This is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about," Bucky glowers. "She can't be here. We'll all get caught."

Steve's eyes flicker between you and Bucky. Even as you try to pull on a brave face, you look scared out of your mind. Steve turns to you with an apologetic look, "Why don't you go get cleaned up?"

You nod, walking out of the room with another word. With the utmost concentration, you lightly touch the doorknob. You sigh in relief that you don't accidentally break it. You lightly grasp the doorknob, and without incident, you make it into the bathroom. You mostly take a moment to compose yourself. You take a mental inventory of yourself. Your face. Your eyes. Your cheekbones. You looked so much healthier than a week ago. A lot less... close to death. Healthy even. Healthy and a fugitive. Healthy and in exile. Healthy and unwanted. 

You shake away all those thoughts and force them back down. 

But you can't help but hear the loud argument happening right outside the paper thin walls. 

"This is what I'm talking about, Steve. That girl is a high profile, ticking time bomb. It doesn't matter what you do or where you take her, she's gonna stick out like a sore thumb."

"No, she's not," Steve insists. "Tony put a lot of time and effort into keeping her out of the public eye. And we'll get the breaking things under control. This is all so new, but Tony was working with her to get it under control."

"You seem to be putting a lot of stock into what Tony Stark did or didn't do."

"He messed up," Steve agrees. "I know that he messed up, but that's not the point. The kid is innocent in all of this. She was just ripped from everything that she's ever known because of her father's mistakes. Cut her a little slack."

"Slack?" Bucky incredulously repeats. "There is no slack out here! You were almost caught. I've almost been caught before. It's too much, Steve... Look, I'm not telling you to turn her in. All I'm saying is that maybe this isn't your problem."

"I made a promise."

"Forget about your promise!" Bucky protests. "Worry about yourself for once."

"I can't do that," Steve refuses with a firm shake of his head. "I won't turn my back on her again."

"Why? Why the hell not?"

"Because I can't!" Steve shouts. "I just can't. I've known that kid her entire life. I care about her. She's scared and she needs our help right now. She didn't have any say in anything that happened to her, but she's doing her best. She just needs a little help. Help we can give her."

Bucky groans, pinching the bridge of his nose, "You're killing me, Steve."

"She's a good kid. She's smart. A hell of a lot smarter than you or I were at 17. Just give her a chance, I promise she can hold her own."

"You're responsible for whatever happens," Bucky warns. "You hear me? Figure out how you're gonna make her blend in. And get the breaking things under control."

"I'll take care of it. Don't worry."

Bucky dubiously scoffs, snatching up his jacket and turning to walk out the door, "Sure, you will."

With the front door slammed shut, you figure it's probably safe to come out of hiding. You creak the door open, poking your head out into the hall. 

"How much of that did you hear?"

"Sorry." You walk back to the couch, taking a seat. "I tried not to, but the walls are paper thing. And you know, the weird serum flowing through my veins."

"Are you okay?"

You shrug, not quite sure how to answer his question. Physically, you were fine. Mentally and emotionally, you couldn't deny you were in a bit of weird spot, but who wouldn't be? "Serum flowing through my veins. On the lam. Pretty good considering."

Steve hangs his head apologetically, "I tried to tell him, but Tony would hear it."

"What?" you sarcastically gasp. "My father was being stubborn? I can't believe it."

"He wasn't ready to say goodbye. None of us were."

"I know." The smile on your face drops. You shake your head, thankful for the innate Stark ability to compartmentalize any negative emotion. You couldn't decide how you felt about what your father had done to you. He saved your life while also damning it all in one go. "It doesn't matter. What's done is done. We just roll with the punches."

Steve nods, watching you to gauge your feelings on the situation, "Right."

You hug your knees to your chest, "Bucky really doesn't want me here, does he?"

"He's a little rough around the edges, but he only acts like that when he's worried."

"About me. That I'll get you caught."

"Which you won't. We just have to be careful, maybe take a few more precautions. That's all."

"I have a feeling I'm not gonna like this, but I'll do anything if it keeps us safe."

"Well, right about now, they're probably plastering our faces all over the news. You might want to change up," He gestures to you. "You know, your look, as the kids call it."

You halfheartedly laugh, rolling your eyes, "That's not what the kids call it, Steve."

"You know what I mean," he snorts. "The harder you are to identify, the easier it is to lay low. I grew a beard. Natasha went blonde. That kind of thing."

"Anything else?"

"We're gonna have to move soon. The longer we stay in one place, the more likely it is that someone will spot us."

It's only a few hours later when you find yourself standing in the bathroom staring at the mirror before you, clutching a pair of scissors. You take a deep breath, desperately trying to find the nerve to do it. 

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"I really don't care."

"It seems like you do. And that's okay, kid. Maybe you could dye it or something."

"It just grew back. This is the longest it's ever been since I was kid and I lost it all," you whisper. 

"Kid..." Steve begins to apologize. 

You shake your head again, forcing yourself to make the first cut. The scissors open and close with a resounding snip, taking off more than half of your hair in one go. Steve sucks in a sharp breath as your hair falls to the ground. "It's fine, Steve. I just didn't think I'd be cutting it again, but I also thought I'd be six feet under by now."

"That's not funny."

"Sure it is." You take the scissors and cut off another large chunk. "2 super soldiers and a Stark. All on the run together. It sounds like the start of a really, really bad joke."

He doesn't have any idea what to say as you continue hacking at your hair. He's not even sure if you want to be consoled, so he decides to give you a moment to gather yourself. "I'l give you a minute."

"Okay."

You pretend like every snip of the scissors doesn't bother you at all as you cut chunk after chunk of hair until you're sure it's mostly even. You look down at the bathroom floor to the clumps of hair on the floor. It takes you back to the time Pepper shaved your hair during your first rounds of chemo all those years ago. 

You throw all the hair away and leave the bathroom. The moment you enter the room, you hear Bucky's snarky remark waiting for you, "Guess the Princess finally finished."

"Leave her alone, Bucky," Steve scolds. "She's had it hard."

Bucky snorts, rolling his eyes, "Yeah, okay, 'hard'. What choosing between the steak or the lobster?"

You jokingly twist your mouth, "Actually, I'm allergic to shellfish."

"Not helping," Steve hisses.

You shrug, turning your attention to the sound of your father's familiar voice coming from the TV. You pad over to the living room, watching as he gives a press conference. 

Bucky scoffs, "He's giving press conferences when his daughter allegedly disappeared into thin air."

"He's playing his part, Bucky. Ease up."

You pay no mind to Bucky or his insults about your father. Tony points to a reporter in the first row. "You. Go."

"Is it true you experimented on your daughter with a serum of some sort?"

Tony grimaces, rolling his eyes, "Next question."

"How did your daughter escape custody?"

"I think the better question is how they had her in custody and lost her," he expertly retorts.

"Does it concern you that your daughter is now a fugitive?"

"It concerns me that my daughter is missing and no one seems to be doing anything about it."

"Reports say that Captain Steve Rogers was at the Avengers Compound when your daughter disappeared."

"I think you missed the part where you're supposed to ask a question," Tony remarks. 

"What's your daughter's relationship to Captain Rogers?"

Tony shakes his head in disbelief, his face contorting with disgust, "I'm sorry, what exactly are you implying?"

"Did your daughter run away with Captain Rogers because she was in a romantic relationship with him?" the reporter plainly asks. 

"Ew..." you cringe dramatically, your face contorting with repulsion. "No offense, Steve, but you're old enough to be my grandfather."

Steve's head vehemently shakes, pinching the bridge of his nose so tightly that you worry he might break it. "Considering I actually was friends with your grandfather, none taken."

All the while, Bucky is maniacally laughing harder than you've ever seen. It isn't until Steve slaps Bucky upside the head that he finally stops laughing while you turn your head back to the screen just in time to see your father speak with a resounding firmness. "I'm only going to say this one. My 17 year old daughter did not run away. While in the custody of the U.S. Government, she disappeared. I don't know where she is, and I want nothing more than for her to be found safe and sound."

"So you don't think it's too coincidental that they both disappeared last night? What was a known fugitive even doing at the Avengers Compound?" 

Tony holds a hand up, halting all further questions. "All I will say is that I have the utmost faith in Steve Rogers. I won't be taking anymore questions today."

The moment those words leave Tony's mouth, the screen goes dark. You turn around to see Steve with the remote in hand and a apologetic expression, "Sorry, kid, I just - I don't think you should be watching that. It's gonna get ugly."

You think about every person in your life. Your old life. Every person that will be raked over the coals because they were trying to save your life. Tony. Pepper. Peter. Bruce. Everyone. "You're right, it's going to get ugly."

AnonymityIsFun Masterlist 'There Is No Coming Back From This' Chapter List

Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez @ludicbouquetfromearth @matchat3a @famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff @valoraxx @blue786sworld @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @geminigengar @ansaturn @ecolle @lexhalstead3 @ybflkmj @mediocre-daydreams@shanye1112 @thegirlnextdoorssister @toomanyfanficsbruh @moonlightreader649 @breathtaking-cynthia @mirikusashes @beans-and-toast @niyahcoca @katiechikin @elxvrr @antiheroxsblog @infamouslyclumsy @krissydclayton93 @buckysbarne @deadheadwbedhead @qualitygiantshoepsychic @whitexwolfxx310 @getosprettyboy @matchat3a @weallhaveadestiny @mostlymarvelgirl @honeydew3064 @michealharrypotter @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @withyoutilltheendoftheline @the-photo-hoe @rae-nna @sarachabeans1@double-shot-of-tequila @spookyparadisesheep @lunaalovesyouu @daisy-loves-bucky@roseproseposts @theoraekenslover@king814318 @maybesomedaytho @carlie-babes99 @sunshinechikin @as-white-as-snow-love @melala1030 @badasswlthafatass @armystay89 @multiversefanfics @cherrysscinema @breathlesspieceofdeath @ravenn-darkholme @bxckybxrnes24 @guiltyasreid @bellabarnes1378 @blithecapricorn

[angstigone]

WARNINGS: manga spoilers, angst related to such spoilers, she/her - afab character (she's called 'miss').

ten years have passed when you meet again the love of your life.

the birthday cake for denji is an afterthought when you are faced with the many beauties laid and exposed on the window of the bakery that you have been suggested by yoshida to visit after having received the task of ordering the cake for the birthday boy.

ten years had meant much - and an apocalypse avoided - and albeit devils still needed hunting and chainsaw man couldn't yet rest, there was a sense of peace that makes birthdays almost... good.

you are all trying to do better and task isn't excessive, especially when you are already on your way to work.

especially with the various beauties exposed as you think about sneaking a pastry with your coffee.

still, with the focus on the pastries, you don't notice the man adjusting them till it's too late to avoid awkward eye contact.

the situation is already awkward with you making bedroom eyes to a specific eclair, but the familiar features are what sold you.

dark blue hair and eyes of a shade that was just lighter although troubled by the dark eyes right beneath them. stress didn't seem to abandon aki hayakawa even in his second lifetime.

immediately your mind wanders to an explanation but the deer caught in headlight look is stronger and hence you and the baker-who-is-aki-but-also-isn't-aki find yourself staring at each other through the glass till it gets all back to you.

a snowball fight, not even a funeral and being forced to hide as to avoid makima.

maybe ten years might have been enough to get over it or not.

you ran then and thought of never going back.

and yet, it isn't like you could show up to denji's birthday party without cake, simply because you had met somebody that looked like the man that you had loved the most in your whole life. you could choose another place, you doubt that denji would notice the difference but there's a morbid curiosity as you walk in the shop this time, glad when the blue-eyed baker simply stays at the till while you look around the different cakes on the shelves.

albeit, it might not seem, though, you feel his gaze onto you and no matter the slightly cold air coming from outside, you are a sweaty mess once you have done your choice - you are glad that you had already made it the previous night - asking for the matcha and chocolate tiramisu.

you don't know why - this man isn't aki, you didn't see his body but you felt it when he died - but somehow you expect recognition from him, as if at any moment he might say 'hello, it's me, I am back'.

it shouldn't be that startling nor surprising to know that it won't happen.

"he is gone" you repeat to yourself, over and over "... he is gone, he is gone, he is go...".

«I am sorry, miss» the voice - it's the same, it's haunting how much it sounds the same and for a moment you think of asking him to say 'I love you' one more time - questions as you raise your eyes, risking of dropping your bag on the carpet «... I... well, will it be all?».

of course.

of course, he's a simple baker, not your aki.

«yes... ahem... no actually... I saw some eclairs would I be able to take them on the go, today? I... my friend will come to get it on the day of the birthday. should I leave you an account of the total for the cake?» it's a normal conversation.

a totally normal conversation with somebody that seems like aki and sounds like him.

«oh no, it's alright. just... I need a phone number for any... delays or such» he explains professionally although not without a sheen of nervousness, probably thought it's a mixture of tiredness and awkwardness.

you give him your number, although it'd be better to use yoshida's since he is the one doing the pickup but it's a self-indulgence that you allow, sure that from the moment you exit this place you won't ever think about the baker that shares so many traits with your beloved.

it'll just worsen everything for you.

«alright, miss... I'll call you for any delay but your friend should be able to pick it up at any time in the afternoon of thursday».

you nod, now your head downcast while your eclairs are packed and you give him your card, cursing yourself for not having chosen to pay in cash when the awkward time that awaits for the bank confirmation stretches uncomfortably.

«... I also... do know this might be a personal question and I... I just had this sensation... have we met before?».

no, this can't be happening. it defies any law that you have ever known, because people don't come back.

especially people that you prayed to come back at night while holding to their shirts till they lost the telltale smell of smoke and cologne and not eve a combination of cheap cigarettes and the specific perfume brought it back.

your legs want to go, but you find yourself anchored on the ground as you awkwardly stammer.

«I don't... I don't think so... I... it's the first time I came around this part of the city» not wholly a lie, but you feel like it'd be much to spring the truth: 'you look like a whole lot like the man that I loved with all my heart and who took it with him when he was gone' «... but I... well, it seems that I feel the same way... I mean... I got the same sensation».

because you know him, you wish to say, because he's your aki.

and he does smile like aki, all open and soft, holding his teeth back and all lips.

«oh then maybe... we have known each then...» he hands you your receipt as finally the bank sends the confirmation of your transaction «... in a previous lifetime».

[litnerdwrites]

Azriel in Silver Flames

I've basically hated the IC since... Acowar, honestly. But the more I think about it, the more conflicted I am about Azriel. I liked him in every book, but in retrospect, I'm not so sure anymore. This is mostly regarding his treatment of Nesta, since he honestly didn't do much before hand the start of Silver Flames, and he didn't do too much during it either.

I understand why Azriel would stay away from Nesta from the end of ACOWAR to the start of Silver Flames. He's observant, and I imagine he's figured out that Nesta doesn't want to spend time with the IC. Moreover, he may also see it as being in Feyre's jurisdiction, and wanting to stay out of it out of respect for her privacy and what not. It's his behaviour through out silver flames that has me conflicted.

Azriel was raised in confinement with limited interactions with other people. He saw his mother once a week, for limited time and suffered physical and verbal abuse, and torture during that time. He had no control over his schedule, food, social interactions, nothing. Yet, despite that, he allowed Nesta to be isolated and kept on a strict schedule and diet that she has no say in, and we never see any signs of him arguing against it. Especially since he knows being locked up somewhere against your will, where you can't leave, often made to do things you don't want, is what most of the IC's trauma roots from (Amren in the Prison, Rhys UTM, Feyre UTM, Mor in the CON, Azriel in his father's dungeon, etc). Why the, seemingly, most sensible person allowed this is beyond me.

Azriel, through out the book, never protests against this treatment either. He treats Nesta decently, though that is the absolute minimum. She should've been treated like that, regardless, of where she was or what she was doing.

He despises Illyria, knows the dangers out there, from both males and whatever's in those forests, yet he doesn't protest against Nesta going. We've seen that there are days where she wanders around on her own (like when she went to Emerie's), without protection. What would happen if she jumped off a cliff or a steep bluff? Or if she went into the forests? What about if some of the males attacked her? It's not like she was constantly supervised. trusting her witch status will keep them away is too risky, since some might not care. Azriel knows the dangers of Illyria, and he let her be taken there. He saw how Illyria hurt his mother, and how she was treated, first hand.

He doesn't do anything even after suspecting that Cassian pushed her down the stairs, or witnessing her being verbally abused by Cassian, and Rhys when he cares to show up. He doesn't defend her, or shut his brothers down, he just lets it happen, seemingly unbothered. Idk about you, but if I was at dinner, and my brother said to his girlfriend, the things that Cassian says to Nesta, I'd drag him out the front door by the hair myself.

Azriel also had a bag packed for Nesta and Cassian's hike from hell, waiting for Cassian to come get it. He let Cassian take Nesta somewhere else against her will. He, presumably, knew about the plan to take her on that hike, helped prepare for it, and just let it happen without a care. He knew where they were taking her, and what they were going to make her do, and he let it happen.

Then there's the issue regarding the Trove. Azriel pushes for Nesta's right to know about what her powers can do, yet he doesn't have any issue pushing her into life threatening situation to keep Elain from it? He says that Elain shouldn't be exposed to whatever darkness the trove and cauldron possess, but that alone implies that Nesta should be exposed to it, and that's despite her mental condition at the time.

While I don't think Azriel's status as a spymaster means he should know things like Nesta's fear of fire, and her suicidal ideation, but it does mean that there's a very good chance that he does (and yet he still sends her on that hike). Knowing this, Azriel implies that Nesta should go on these life threatening missions, where she could be killed, or commit suicide, or be taken.

Azriel is shown to stand up to/argue with Rhysand in the bonus chapters. He does so for himself and arguably Elain. Why doesn't he do it for Nesta too?

It's all of these little things that leave a bitter taste in my mouth regarding Azriel.

Would he have tried to beg/force Nesta to go instead of Elain had she refused, or if he would've stood up for Nesta if Cassian had become physically violent with her. If she refused to go on that hike, would he have fought for her right to chose like he did before? If Rhys tried to kill her, would he stand up to him for her? If Elain is mistreated in her book, would he stand up for her? If so, why not Nesta too? How can he call himself her friend if he doesn't at least try to talk about how wrong it is, assuming he even realises it's wrong to start with.

We haven't gotten much of his pov yet, and he doesn't really say much, but from what I have seen, I'm concerned. Azriel may not be actively trying to hurt Nesta, but it feels like he enables his brothers and his court too much.

Didn't Tamlin dod the same, along with his court, who watched Feyre whither away, and did nothing. Even if they didn't see what was happening in her head, they saw her wasting away from lack of sleep or food. Isn't Azriel doing the same to Nesta by letting her be treated that way? Reaming neutral still makes him part of the problem, doesn't it?

Am I the only one who gets this bad taste in my mouth when I think about this?

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

Hey

Want to know your opinion, how would you improve some arcs of toh characters, like Amity, Hunter, Lilith, Willow, Gus and probably anyone whose arcs you think are bad-written?

good question! let's see,

luz: i have mostly no complaints about her character but i wish they made it clear that her running off to the boiling isles was not ideal. i don't entirely blame her because she was a child and she was looking for a way to avoid going to camp, but the show starts off implying that luz's escapism was a bad thing, but then they kinda contradict that in the end, by letting her have access to the boiling isles forever.

also her s3 arc with her palisman was just overall poorly written. it was supposed to be an emotional and wholesome moment but it didn't have that impact on me. if luz's greatest wish was to be understood, they should have built on that more. i mean, it's not like no one understood her, all of her friends and found family in the boiling isles seem to understand and empathize with her. it just felt like the writers pulled this revelation out of their asses, and the fact that stringbean was inexplicably a shapeshifter didn't help their case.

amity: i would keep some parts of her initial characterization, like her ambitious nature and her resting bitch face energy. even if the idea was to make amity grow into a more cheerful person, it doesn't make sense that it happened so quickly. imo her characterization was at its best when she was warming up to luz but not entirely nice to other people (like during the grom episode). i really liked her cold, standoffish behaviour and i think it would have been nice if she had kept some of that, while still being a better person than she was in the beginning.

also, like i said in another post, she should definitely have goals of her own. her character shouldn't have been reduced to "luz's girlfriend". i would definitely show more of her interacting with the other characters (and these interactions and conversations aren't about luz) and pursuing her own dreams. i think steven universe did this best where connie liked steven a lot and she did hang out with him, but she also had her own life and her own dreams to chase.

hunter: i wouldn't put him in a relationship with willow, or anyone, for that matter. the poor boy has a lot of trauma he needs to work through and based on the stuff that he's said, it's clear that he doesn't know how healthy human interactions work, let alone a romantic relationship.

i would make his arc about slowly healing through his trauma or at least being able to express his emotions, instead of suppressing them for willow's sake. i think it could have been done, despite the time crunch. he needed time to grieve flapjack, to grieve himself after being possessed and almost killed by his abuser, and to slowly start his healing journey.

the others would definitely support him through it, but that's what he needs at the time, not a badass girlfriend.

lilith: i think her redemption arc started off okay but then everyone forgave her too quickly. it wasn't as bad as catra's because lilith did put a little effort into trying to be better, but she still needed to do more before she could have been forgiven.

so either i would extent her redemption arc and let the other characters, especially eda, stay mad at her a little longer before she gets forgiven. or i would just keep her as an antagonist.

they didn't even explore her trauma of being in a cult and the emperor's coven never chased her down after she left. not to mention, her experience of being in the emperor's coven is never relevant to the plot. she could have given luz inside information or talked about belos' potential weaknesses, it was such a missed opportunity.

willow: her arc with amity was not terrible and i like that she was allowed to take her time to trust amity. this is more about amity than willow but i think it would have been nice if we saw amity making more efforts to gain willow's trust. her apology in understanding willow was good but they kinda glossed over the fact that amity wasn't just "letting her friends bully willow", she was also bullying willow.

i think we needed more of willow and amity trying to mend their friendship, instead of lumity being the main focus after that one episode.

and in general, willow deserved a bigger role in the series. for the longest time, she was just luz's friend and then they forced her into a relationship with hunter, which did not work at all.

if her intended arc was to work on her insecurities and get more confident over time, they should have shown more of that process. even Any Sport In A Storm was mostly about huntlow (and hunter, to some extent) then willow. and let's be honest, the whole "half a witch" thing was dragged out more than it needed to be.

gus: okay, buckle up because i think i have the most grievances with gus. i need to make this clear. GUS WAS SO UNDERUSED.

i'm sorry. this guy is a child prodigy who can create illusions and use illusion spells to look into people's minds and force them to relive their worst memories?? why was this not more relevant to the plot? gus is such an insanely skilled witch and yet he's always pushed to the back for some reason. he has the most versatile and useful skillset but he never gets to use it, it makes me so mad!

even him looking into belos' mind was only used for that brief moment where he admits that he knew hunter was a grimwalker, but didn't want to force hunter to talk about it. that's it. we get no further conversation about it, gus never addresses the other stuff he saw in belos' memories like him MURDERING his brother and creating all the grimwalkers and god knows what else??

also just the fact that he's able to psychologically torment people with illusions is such an OP move that the series just kinda glossed over. it was used in a few episodes, but it could have been used to a greater extent. i just think that gus could have been such an interesting and powerful character, if he was given enough spotlight.

he also had a good thing going with mattholomule but instead of making that canon, they went for huntlow. i'm not saying that gus has to be in a relationship (or any of them, for that matter) but why create a new rushed ship when you already have a perfectly good one to work with?

i also find it weird that gus and willow were supposedly best friends but we got very few moments between them. i would have loved to see more of their friendship, and more focus on platonic relationships in general.

so yeah, if i were to rewrite gus, i would definitely give him a lot more spotlight. heck, given his powerset, he has the potential to be the main character even!

belos: i've mentioned it a lot before but belos deserved a more climatic end to his arc. all of the implications of religious trauma and puritan culture was thrown in the trash in s3.

he was actually such a compelling villain, genuinely intimidating and with an interesting motive and backstory. what was the point of crafting such an interesting character, just to be like "lol he's evil murder his ass"?

i'm not even mad that he died, i'm just mad that THAT'S how he died. i was expecting his death to be something ironic and self-inflicted, like the people from the human realm being horrified by him and killing him. maybe even burning him to death, the same way witches were burned at the stake. buuuut no, we get king, raine and eda stomping on his corpse because haha that's funny. hunter didn't even get to be a part of all this, and he was the one who deserved closure, he was the one who deserved to see his abuser face consequences of their actions, not fucking eda and raine.

and that part where he tries to convince luz that he was just under a terrible curse was just.. so childish. and not in-character childish, but just childish writing. it was just so ooc for belos, he is a manipulator but this wasn't how he manipulated people. i guess you could argue that he was just too desperate to survive but eh. i think it could have been written better.

eda: i don't have too many complaints here, i think she was probably the most well-rounded and compelling character in this show. her arc about the owl curse was interesting and very relatable to me, as someone who is epileptic. her relationship with raine was the best in the series imo.

the only thing i would change is, as I mentioned earlier, i wouldn't make eda forgive lilith so easily. i also think that she kind of lost her "morally grey parental figure" edge by the end of the series, and i honestly liked that part of her a lot, so i would keep it. but that's just a personal preference.

raine: they were definitely a very interesting character, i just think they deserved more screentime. most of their role in the story was surrounding their relationship with eda, which was very compelling, but we could have gotten more of their character outside their relationship.

the members of the emperor's coven, as a whole, could have been used better in the series. but for a side character with medium relevance to the plot, i'd say raine was written pretty well.

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Trip: knight!price x princes!reader

Idk if this should be a warning but there's like a tin y bit of a mention of religion but like not that much. Also it's the fantasy middle ages unfortunately it's a topic that has to come up. Also another long chapter, sorry lol

It was early in the morning when Sir John Price had come to you and asked if you wanted to take a trip with him for the day. He didn't have to tell you what it was exactly at the time, you just agreed and before long you were sitting on your horse with Pride riding next to you.

Only a few hours had passed and the countryside had taken over as you continued down the road with him.

He had yet to tell you where you were going or why.

"Are you taking me hunting?" You wondered and he shook his head with a small smile.

"I'd be foolish to do that, your highness." He said and you hummed.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

You sighed but smiled and allowed him to lead you wherever he wished. You trusted him and you recognized that you were heading the direction towards the nearby village.

It had been awhile since you had been beyond the village and the fields surrounding the castle since your mother made it known you were supposed to stay close by for any suitors. You hadn't realized how trapped you felt until you were out of her shadow.

If you were being honest, this would be enough to keep you happy if Price had nothing else to show you.

"You're not worried about any unwanted attention I might bring?" You teased when you remembered how wary he'd been the other time you made an appearance in a village.

"You're far too stubborn to keep hidden." He teased back. "We won't be in the village much today."

You tilted your head but he didn't elaborate and only gave you a small smile that made you playfully narrow your eyes at him.

Regardless, you follow him into the village and greeted any villagers you passed on the way in before you followed him towards the outskirts. It was then that you realized he was leading you towards the monastery that sat on the top of the hill.

"Are you turning in your sword?" You wondered and he raised an eyebrow. "Have a I worn you out already?"

"No, your highness," Price scoffed as he stopped his horse in front of the monastery. "You know I'm not a praying man."

Price helped you down from your horse and you chuckled at the thought of him praying as often as the monks do.

"No, you are hardly devout enough for that."

"Not to God, at least."

Price let you enter first and you stared in awe at the stained glass that captured the late morning sun. You had visited a few times before but the peaceful silence and the architecture never failed to amaze you.

It wasn't long before a monk met the both of you and bowed before Price spoke.

"If it's not trouble to you, the princess would like to take a few books back to the castle with her in exchange for some that she already has."

Your eyes widened and you snapped your head towards him. You couldn't help the way that your heart skipped a beat as the monk gestured towards the stairs.

Price sucked in his lips when he saw your surprise and he bowed his head slightly.

"You said you needed more book to read."

You shouldn't have been surprised that he would take a passing comment so seriously. If Sir John was anything he was attentive about everything around him, including something so small as more books to entertain you with.

It made your heart soar and you body warm up. You wanted tot hank him but you couldn't find your voice but you feared you'd sound choked up because you could feel your throat tighten.

He cleared he throat and gestured towards the stairs.

"Shall we?"

Upstairs there were rows and rows of shelves full of books. Many of them you hadn't seen before which nearly captivated your attention immediately. Excitement bubbled up inside of you as you browsed them knowing that you could spend days looking through all of them.

Price carried any of the books you picked out even when you tried to protest but he did it anyway.

"You should pick out a few as well. I haven't forgotten my promise."

"There's no way for me to know I will like them."

"Then tell me what you like and I'll get it for you."

As you worked through the books and picked out a few that fit what he would like your mind wandered. You remembered what he told you about his upbringing but you want to know more.

You never would've guess him to be anything but noble born despite his more rugged personality than most knights.

"You're from the north, correct?" You wondered softly and he raised an eyebrow.

"Only a weeks ride from the castle." He explained. "It's a lot more country up there."

"Do you miss it?"

"Often."

You frowned. In reality, he was never meant to be far from his home. If the lord hadn't taken him in, he would've stayed there and enjoyed his life without the expectations of keeping the crown and the kingdom safe. He wouldn't know you personally, you doubt he would've ever seen you.

You hoped that he didn't regret becoming a knight, especially since you didn't make it very easy for him.

"Tell me more." You looked at him almost pleadingly and his eyebrows knitted together.

He hesitated only for a moment as he studied you carefully before he looked deep in thought.

"I lived on the lord's land. We were farmers. My house was just on the edge of the woods and I'd spend most of my time in there when I wanted to avoid doing any work...it was peaceful." His voice was calm as he reminisced and you giggled softly. "Then when the lord took me in I lived in his estate. At the time it was the biggest home I'd been in and I was put off by it."

"It sounds like you're still fond of it." You said and he nodded.

"The lord named me his heir before he passed, so I own everything including my old home."

You smiled at that but the question in your mind slowly took it away. You knew the answer but you wanted to ask just in case you were mistaken.

"And your parents?"

"They pass when I was young. They were very sick."

"...I'm sorry."

"Thank you, your highness."

Despite the sadness of the situation you were grateful that the lord had taken him in and that you know got to know him, especially as he stared at you with soft eyes that made you warm.

"Would you like to go there someday?" Price's voice was soft and almost unsure as he stared at you with bated breath.

You could see the nervousness in his eyes despite the fact that he stood tall as he always did. But he shifted on his feet and sucked in his lips, wetting them as he waited for you to answer.

And you could hardly keep yourself from looking surprised and flustered.

It was one thing for him to bring you places that you liked and that you would enjoy but it was another for him to want to bring you to somewhere he held dear. It was a privilege to let you see, to get closer to him in ways that you knew you would never get with a lord or a prince.

And you wanted to continue to do it. You wanted to get closer to him, to feel what could be if you weren't who you were.

It would ruined you but you couldn't help it.

"I would." You nodded and watched him sigh with relief.

"Then I will take you one day." He smiled softly and you couldn't hep but return it.

He glanced at the window, his cheeks a light pink before he gestured towards it.

"We still have the day. There's somewhere else I'd like to take you, if you wish, your highness."

You titled your head and watched his eyes twinkle.

"Another monastery?" You tried to guess but he shook his head.

"You'll like it just as much." Price said and you hummed.

You didn't argue. You knew that whatever he had planned would be perfect and that it didn't really matter because he was taking you there anyway.

a/n: I need him in ways that's concerning to everyone

Tags: @deadbranch @makayla-666 @glitterypirateduck @dumbbitchgalore @m0chac0ffee @dragonbe-writing @sleepyoriana @twismare @blush-haze @waiting-so-long @sofasoap @panikk-attackkk