#i should probably make a 12.12 tag but like

[steveyockey]

I’m so sorry I am so very sorry if you want to move on from Stuck In the Middle With You and supernatural, but having to analyze a Tarantino movie once a month as a film major??? I never get to have an actual convo because of men named Tyler who roll up the edges of their beanies and get off to anything Eli Roth does. (You can totally delete this ask btw, totally understandable)

Rese Dogs... it very much accidentally brings up the idea of how queer men can exist in the context of hegemonic masculinity as long as they adhere to the whiteness and misogyny that comes from the dynamic Tarantino builds/is present in society (emphasis on accident, I don’t think he’s aware of any analysis regarding this in his films, I think Tarantino thinks this way as a person). And I do think it’s interesting to bring up the way this episode is done, like it it’s not with Tarantino’s form of storytelling that does embrace homoeroticism, it’s done with Supernaturals form of storytelling where it cannot be mentioned unless a character is about to become a villain or die and that’s why I think this episode fundamentally fails. This show drops the ball constantly, but they really just absolutely missed any significance to Dogs and it’s statements on masculinity and queerness and it was all right there. They had a clear cut Mr Pink, Mr Orange and Mr White,, but what we ended up watching was them fumbling a weird heterosexual interpretation that my father would adore. And it is hard not to acknowledge the racism in any Tarantino film, but especially in Dogs, and again they just missed it completely. I really want to watch this movie through the writers eyes because why would you make this episode without fully analyzing the movie first, y’a know??

(You can totally just delete this if you’re over discussing this movie,,, I totally understand,, have a lovely day tho!!!)

as the progenitor of stuck in the middle (with you) discourse I am fully obligated to field ALL stuck in the middle (with you) takes and generally do so with a sense of pride. and like exactly! it’s resevoir dogs as remembered by dads who love quentin tarantino, it’s not what the movie ACTUALLY is, much in the same way eric kripke was using the version of on the road that only exists in straight guys’ heads when he started writing supernatural. everything about supernatural is just based on like. a concept of a guy. no actual guys. because all the actual guys they want to talk about are gay! george maharis of route 66, the other american odyssey kripke was imitating, was an entire gay man! gay cowboys! it’s not that every heterosexual narrative is secretly lgbt or americana as a whole should be embraced as queer cutlure, but it’s funny how the show comes across as so self-conscious about not playing into that while also wanting to pay it tribute. it’s parody.

[avauntus]

Supernatural - a retrospective

This is super self-indulgent, and I have so much else I’ve promised-- I owe a long-fic rec post, and ao3 comments, wip work, and that’s just my fandom stuff I’m behind on. *sigh*

But it’s late on a Saturday and now I’ve finished Supernatural, I want to share what I think are my top few eps, and a few other comments. I promise some of this will be different from the “greatest hits” you probably usually see, and I’ll try to make it worth your time. *wry smile*

Look, we have to have categories like: “Most Likely to Live in My Head Rent-Free for the Rest of my Life” and “Most Likely to Inspire Unnecessary Fanfiction” that are different from “Favorites,” because that’s just the cursed energy this show has. ;-)

My top five

#5 - 13.01 - “Lost and Found”

Written by: Andrew Dabb | Directed by: Phil Sgriccia

In fandom, this is most often referred to as the start of the “Grieving Widower” arc, tongue-in-cheek. Also has Alexander Calvert (Jack) walking around completely in the nude for the first third of the ep. (Neither of these are why this is in my top 5, but he has a good story about wardrobe for his ‘first day.’) 

I didn’t expect much out of this episode the first time I watched it, but I’ve gone over this ‘section’ of the show maybe 3-4 times in my Netflix catch-up, and I watch this one in full every time. From Jack being...not at all what anyone expected and an unsteady vindication, to the stunning cinematography (there’s a post that compares shots to Brokeback Mountain, but I think the shots here might be better), to the sheriff who takes the time to remind her deputy that “...there’s no such thing as ‘weird.’ Everyone’s normal in their own way,” to the slow reveal of exactly how hard the events of the previous night (12x23 - All Along the Watchtower) are hitting Dean and Sam and in different ways...(how long the episode takes to reveal to you how Dean fucked up his hand, and what he was saying when he did. Augh!) The Winchesters are trying to rally, but they have been taking hits for a long time, and the cracks are showing.

 #4 - 15.06 - “Golden Time”

Written by: Meredith Glynn | Directed by: John F. Showalter

Supernatural  has a terrible track record with representation in all stripes. It is infamously consistent in killing off anyone minority, female, or non-White. One of the interesting things about the chaotic meta-narrative of season 15 is you can see the lack of fucks some of the writer’s room had to give about not even being subtle about tearing down that type of ‘White-male-hero-journey” now that they were in a literal “what will they do, fire me?” situation.

I’m a Cas fan, and this episode, which gives him an actual, ‘case-of-the-week’ hunter’s narrative where he gets to save the day on his own, successfully, was wonderful. I love that for him! But more than that, for me, this episode is emotional to me for other reasons-- the way Dean and Cas circle around each other on their angry phone call (with the body language! They are broadcasting so LOUD and neither can see because they’re on the phone!), Sam’s story here, where he’s inheriting things from Rowena that allow him in turn to save Eileen, to Cas’ speech and quick anger at the lake when you reflect on his entire journey of self-realization from a soldier of blind faith to an agent of free will... “You selfish little men in your positions of authority...” I just... *clears throat, grabs tissue* 

#3 -  6.20 - “The Man Who Would Be King”

Written & Directed by: Ben Edlund

Speaking of Cas’ journey... I know some folks don’t like the angst and drama of the ‘Heaven and Hell’ plots of Supernatural, but I am here for it. Oh, did we need another reason to include this episode? This has some of the most metal quotes I have heard from any TV show. Ever.

I mean, look at this:

“If I knew then what I know now, I would have said: Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.”

“Explaining freedom to angels is a bit like explaining poetry to fish.”

The delivery of: “It's not too late. Damn it, Cas! We can fix this!” “Dean, it’s not broken!” is one of those Supernatural bits that will live in my head until the end of time. All of Edlund’s episodes are among my favorites, but this (along with “5.04 - The End”) was on another level. 

#2 - 5.16 - “Dark Side of the Moon”

Written by: Andrew Dabb & Daniel Loflin | Directed by: Jeff Wollnough

I think of this episode every time  I hear Bob Dylan sing “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.” This is kinda a giant montage episode, but the connecting concepts are so...satisfying. 

“Heaven is your favorite memories.” “ It’s called the axis mundi. It’s a path that runs through heaven. Different people see it as different things. For you, it’s two-lane asphalt.” “This is your idea of heaven? Wow, this was one of the worst nights of my life.” “I don’t think I realized how long you’ve been cleaning up Dad’s messes.” “It’s awesome to finally have an application—a practical application—for string theory.” “Everyone leaves you, Dean. You noticed?” “Why is God talking to me? Gardner-to-gardener, and between us, I think he gets lonely.” “You son of a bitch, I believed in... ” Whoosh.

#1 - 4.01 - “Lazarus Rising”

Written by: Eric Kripke | Directed by: Kim Manners

So...this is the episode where Castiel, angel of thee Lord, shows up. And that’s primarily why it earns the no. 1 spot, because 80% of my enjoyment of Supernatural from this point on was Cas-adjacent. Plus this entire episode just hits. ALL OF IT. Dean’s homecoming. Ruby, my darling. Bobby’s entire vibe. Pamela Barnes, easily one of the most interesting women Supernatural ever introduced. Cas being so hot to say “Hi” to Dean he forgets he wounds people. 

But beyond that-- the way the show writes their ‘oh, by the way, angels’ narrative! If you haven’t seen this episode, would you believe me if I told you that THIS EPISODE, the episode where Supernatural said “canonically, Judeo-Christian Heaven is real, btw” involves no churches but does involve a séance, a soulmark handprint brand, and a himbo angel that “gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition”...but they were all “no homo, guys” for years?

Truly no one was out here doing it like Supernatural even back in 2008.

Others--

15.18 - “Despair” 

“Most Likely to Live Rent-Free in My Head for the Rest of my Life”

Written by: Robert Berens | Directed by: Richard Speight, Jr.

You know why this episode is here. It broke reality. I could be wrong-- but I’d put good money on this episode being the subject of academic theses in the future. That doesn’t automatically make for interesting story, but...

Has there ever been a case, in a mainstream US TV show where a major lead character (Cas) came out as queer so late in the game in a narratively-important way? I’m not aware of it, but I might just be behind on my television.

This episode has great writing, and (blessedly) amazing direction and blocking anyway. Check out the above gif - that is some next level foreshadowing going on in the cinematography, and this isn’t even the most remarked upon shot in this episode. (Seriously, I had to search for 40 minutes for this gif, please respect my game, lol.) Everyone who was involved in 15x18 is giddy talking about their investment, from the costume designer to the actors to the director to the writer...

...And then a bunch of them steadfastly have avoided posting much Supernatural-related since. So that’s...loud. There is a bunch of subtext in this episode that is screamingly loud; there is a bunch of text in this episode that makes several things clear fandom has been chattering over for years and years. The meta-commentary around this episode continues, months later. There are over 700 fics on AO3 with this episode tag.

I have more to say about the themes of ‘free will’ and ‘love’ and ‘identity’ tied to this episode, but seriously-- you’ve probably read 17 versions of it on Tumblr already, so.

This is the last time we see Cas, and the last time Supernatural can claim anything close to narrative consistency. For that alone, it’d earn free head-space.

Runners-up: “4.20 - The Rapture”; “5.04 - The End”; “7.21 - Reading is Fundamental”; “8.21 - The Great Escapist”; “9.06 - Heaven Can’t Wait”; “12.19 - The Future”; “14.08 - Byzantium”

6.17 - “My Heart Will Go On”/8.07 - “A Little Slice of Kevin”

“Most Likely to Inspire Unnecessary Fanfiction”

Written by: Eric Charmelo & Nicole Snyder (6.17); Brad Buckner & Eugenie Ross-Leming | Directed by: Phil Sgriccia (6.17); Charlie Carner (8.07)

Usually the show kills off it’s “one-episode” female characters, but do you know one time it didn’t? When the Moirai (the Fates - specifically Atropos, the shearer of the Threads of Fate) showed up in canon in 6.17. She was posited to have “two older sisters that were bigger than her- in every sense of the word,” ...and Castiel had to back down when she challenged him to a cosmic game of chicken over the Winchester’s lives.

Then they never returned to that idea again. 

“A Little Slice of Kevin” is on here for the opposite reason -- an amazing idea that was really underwritten in the episode it showed up in. Dean Winchester has been dragging himself across the fabric of universes; the literal Word of God is in play in a warehouse in Middle America; Cas is back from Purgatory, but what does that mean, micro and macro? As a person on the street, what would it mean, or feel like, to learn you were a Prophet of the Lord, uncalled? That what you are, everything you are, is a cosmic contingency?

Maybe Fate has an opinion on all these shenanigans?

Perhaps all that doesn’t make sense, but it certainly made an impression on ~2012 me. To this day, it remains the WIP I can open up and fool myself with the ‘twist.’ I wish I remembered where I was going with it so I could finish it.

Runners Up: “2.20 - What Is and What Should Never Be”; “5.04 - The End”; “6.15 - The French Mistake”; 12.12 - “Stuck in the Middle (with you)”; “13.05 - Advanced Thanatology” “14.03 - The Scar”; “14.10 - Nihilism”; “15.15 - Gimme Shelter” ... and “15.20 - Carry On” (obviously)

Fifteen seasons. There were plenty of other episodes I loved that didn’t make these limited lists. But overall -- thank you, Supernatural, for the run. Even if I’m upset at the ending, I can appreciate the game. If you watch the show, what were your favorite episodes?

[castielsdisciple]

21 Supernatural Questions

I was tagged by @60r3d0m

1. When did you start watching Supernatural? late 2014. I had just started college and was depressed and lonely and had fallen out of love with my previous fandom, so i needed something to cheer me up. I think I started in September and I was caught up by Christmas time, so i started live watching when s10 came back from Christmas hiatus. 

2. Who is your favorite in TFW? I love all the boys, but Cas holds a special place in my heart

3. Who is your least favorite in TFW? I love everyone 

4. Tag your top 5 Supernatural blogs! all the gif makers 

5. Who is your favorite character (not including TFW)?

Crowley is probably my favorite character to write, ever

6. Who is your favorite woman in Supernatural? Rowena because she’s so similar to Crowley. All the snark and sass. you can make her as much of an asshole as possible and her only motivation needs to be “because why not?”

7. John or Mary? Mary

8. What were your first opinions of Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack? Sam: sad college boy 

Dean: cocky womanizer that needs a good punch in the face

Cas: holy shit those eyes

Jack: Me: I don’t really care about Jack at all

Jack: My father is Castiel

Me:....I would die for you 

9. What’s your favorite season? unpopular opinion but probably s12. i love s12.

10. What’s your least favorite season? 10. 10 is just. . . a trainwreck. 

11. Opinions on Destiel?

i wish i didn’t ship it so i would be free from this pain

12. Do you believe Supernatural queerbaits? maybe??? 

I think any homoeroticism in s4-6 was actually an accident. i think they started being cheeky with it in 8-10. Now, i don’t know wtf they’re doing if it’s not for a reason. i’m reserving judgement until the very last episode airs

13. Seasons 1-7 or 8-14? 8-14

14. Favorite villain (plot wise)? s5 Lucifer 

15. Do you think they should end the Lucifer plot line? I think they should stop letting the weakest writers handle the Lucifer plot line. it could be interesting if it was being handled by other people. 

16. Who do you think has gone through more trauma (Sam, Dean, or Cas)?

you can’t quantify pain. they’ve all been hurt.

17. What’s your favorite Supernatural episode? Lazarus Rising, Free to be You and Me, Changing Channels, Hell’s Angel, Lilly Sunder, 12.12--can’t remember the title right now--and Byzantium!   

18. Do you like case episodes? i like the case episodes when i evaluate them on their own. they’re good episodes! but i think sometimes in the context of the season, the case episodes feel pretty weak. like, “there’s this primodial god that also happens to be God’s sister bent on destroying the world, and also, Cas is possessed by Lucifer. . . let’s go see a wrestling show!”

19. Who do you relate most to in TFW? hmm, i don’t know if it would be Dean or Cas tbh.

20. Why do you like Supernatural? i like this show where people always try their best no matter what circumstances, and how they all come together to form a family 

21. If you could bring back one character and kill off another who would they be? i’m gonna steal Jo’s answer and say: save Eileen, kill Nick

tagging: @angelwingsandhunterdreams @wanderingcas @lugiadepression and anyone else that wants to play!

[amirosebooks]

Top 5 Fan Fics (That I've Written)

I was tagged by @samanddeaninpanties to write about my favorite fics I’ve written. I’m going to split this up into the two main fandoms I’ve written for.

I’m not tagging anyone in this because I don’t know who has or hasn’t been tagged. So if you see this and want to do it but haven’t been tagged yet... consider this me tagging you.

My SPN Fics

Humanity’s Angels [Destiel; 93k words; for SPNCanonBigBang; Explicit; Case!Fic / alternate season 12] TFW and Mary head to Arizona to hunt down the apparent ghost of an angel. Meanwhile Dean examines his feelings toward his best friend and what to do with them.

I will mourn the day this fic is surpassed by something else on the list of my favorite things I’ve ever written. I hadn’t even seen season 12 when I first started writing this fic, though the season was already half over. I relied heavily on meta, recaps and gifs to get the mood right. It took me something like 6 months to write this beast and I’m still recovering from the mental work it took. This shit made me want to cry a few times writing it, so I’ll apologize in advance for the feelings.

The Mantra [Destiel; 3k words; General; Fluff & angst] Following the events of 12.12, Dean wakes up from a nightmare shouting Cas's name. Which works out well, since Cas can't sleep or relax either after everything that went on. Dean introduces Cas to some of the healthier coping mechanisms he knows.

This is the first SPN / Destiel fic I wrote. It’s one of those ideas that grabbed hold of me and wouldn’t let go until I wrote it out. I love the first half of it which scratches my guilty everybody cuddle! itch. The second half I wrote in a style that irritates me whenever I do it, but what are you gonna do?

Letters to Ghosts [Destiel; 2.3k words; General; Angst & fluff; Early season 13 mini coda] All Dean wanted was a cup of coffee. What he got instead was a whole bunch of feelings and a raincheck he might never get to cash in.

The longest thing I’ve managed to write since finishing Humanity’s Angels. This painful idea came to me after finished the first episode of 13 combined with the knowledge that we’d be getting Cas back fairly soon into the season. Bring tissues.

Humanity’s Angels -- Original Chapter 18 Cut Scene [Destiel; a few thousand words; Explicit; John Winchester’s A+ Parenting] This is the original "morning after" chapter from Humanity's Angels. Set between the Love Scene chapter and Library, this was supposed to be chapter 18. I cut it for length and because it dragged the story down a bit and wandered more than I wanted it to. I'm going to apologize in advance for the John Winchester related flashback before you get to the actual sex. If you skip the italics and stop reading when you reach this line: "They needed to get back to the case no matter how much he wanted to hole up in this hotel room with his angel and never come out again." you won't have to see anything related to John. Either way, this should give you guys a better idea of the kind of history I had written up for my version of bisexual!Dean Winchester.

I’d originally intended to write H.A. with a lot more flashbacks to Dean’s early, out-to-everyone-but-family bisexual days. I didn’t like the way that Cassie and Lisa were coming across in the scenes I’d had planned and since I love both those characters too much to do that to them I cut those plans. The John and Dean scene in this was supposed to contrast a much... less happy flashback from earlier in the story that I also cut. I’m not a fan of John, but there are times when I can understand his character a little better than others. This scene was supposed to be one of those moments where I sympathized with John while he actually tried to be a real dad instead of a drill sergeant. Part of me mourns the potential of an actual adult child Dean and John post crusade relationship, but whatever. Like the description says, you can totally skip the John bits and read a sex scene I wish I’d been able to keep in the story.

Hands On Me [Destiel; Dean/Others in flashbacks; 2k words; Explicit; PWP] Dean just finished working a case by himself and was on his way to meet Sam and Eileen a few states away when he pulled over for the night. All Dean wanted was to grab a few hours of sleep in Baby before he had to leave again. His wandering mind had other plans.

The plot of this is very hand-wavey and shouldn’t be analyzed too closely. This is pure smutty fun. It was a sex scene idea I had while writing the final movie theater scene in H.A. that wouldn’t leave me alone until I’d written it down. I really love the idea of Dean being very comfortable with his bisexuality with his hookups and only hiding it from his family and friends.

My Cut & Run Fics

Hold Still [Nick & Kelly; 6.2k words; Explicit; PWP] I wrote this during the summer of 2013 and I think it’s still my favorite sex scene I’ve ever written. It’s also the first sex scene I ever wrote so that might be nostalgia talking because I certainly haven’t reread this in years. I played with the idea of restraining someone with words in this and... I love it. This is right up there with Humanity’s Angels as far as favorite things I’ve written.

Marking Their Territory [Nick & Kelly; 2.7k words; Teen] My very first piece of fanfiction. Well, technically I think I wrote a fic or two back in high school, but this little shit here got me started on the whole writing and sharing with others thing. It’s a play on the lovers when they were still just friends with sexual tension that they don’t talk about. A few years back, when the fandom was still active and sharing stuff regularly, we’d call these stories pre-nickels nickels.

Hot Ginger Bartender AU [Nick & Kelly; no idea because I never put this on AO3; Explicit eventually] I think this random little AU was one of the last times I really had fun writing for this fandom. There’s a lot of references to inside stuff with the books in this, but I’ve seen people not in the fandom read it and enjoy it. The first one is set up with sexual tension like woah. The second is just... smutty awesomeness. Rereading this makes me miss these fools like crazy.

My Demons [Ty Grady POV; 2k words; unfinished] Damn I wish I could have finished this one. In the books Ty has a lot of different nicknames and each touch on different bits of his personality. I had this idea that after some kind of accident Ty woke up in an alternate world (while actually being in a coma) where he had to confront all those different personalities.

Oops, I Fell For A Serial Killer AU [Nick & Kelly; a few thousand spread over two connected stories and one short alternate story with the same prompt; Explicit; Gore] For a while on Tumblr it was a thing to reblog these long lists of prompts and then write fic or stories for them. I’m sure it’s still a thing somewhere on this blue hell site, but for a while it was a thing that I did on the regular. One of the things to come out of one of those posts was this serial killer au. This ended up dark, bloody, violent, sexy, and--in my opinion--kind of beautiful. It was also the last time I really had fun writing for this fandom before I started to feel guilty about everything I wrote because of the negative reaction this fic got.

C&R is a buddy cop meets fairly traditional romance series. There’s darkness in it, quite a lot of it, but nothing as black as a serial killer au inherently is where sex and violence get mixed up so tightly. Thanks to this there were several people who were really used to being able to read any of the fic that came out related to the series and being okay with it. No one really wrote triggery, dark stuff for these boys. Then I wrote this and some people were not okay with it at all. Which is fine, everyone has their own things they like and don’t like. But it became a THING and kinda ruined the fun I’d been having.

Anyway, I love this dark twisted bit of words. I think it’s sweet even if it is incredibly fucked up. Also, I got to write knife play into the second one so that’s fun.

Bonus round: This painfully short prompt response is probably third on my list of favorite things I’ve ever written. You kinda gotta know the series to really feel why this is such a gut-punch but I love it anyway. This one holds a soft part in my heart too.