#i should have done this sooooo much sooner and nobody else will so now i have to

[alien-onyx]

if im going to babygirlify a hat-boots-cape-coat-gloves man with black hair that nobody else likes, i figured i should start with erik.

[bigskydreaming]

I kinda wanna fucking scream, so here, have a offline bullshit rant post.

So I’ve literally been trying to get my stupid fucking meds for over a MONTH now at this point, which I’m sure you can all see like, my mood is just wooooonderful these days. Not an excuse, casual reminder that yeah you do gotta take care of your own space so if my mood is dragging anyone down, I’m totes on board with blocking or unfollowing or y’know, burning me in effigy or something. Okay maybe not that last part. But still. You get it. And its not even that like, I need mood stabilizers per se, lol, so shout out to the armchair diagnosticians helpfully peppering my inbox still in their quest to oh so slickly be like ‘hey you’re a hot mess, take your hot messness away from tumblr’ like lol, didn’t ask.....nah, its mostly the perpetual lack of sleep and chronic pain issues that I have zero distraction from when my specific combo of meds isn’t able to let me actually weaponize my ADHD properly and power through that. Its a whole thing. Whatever. Just go with it.

POINT IS. So I’ve been trying to do this for over a month now, first obstacle was even just getting the money together for my refill appointment which is a whopping $150, because I have to pay out of pocket for mental health stuff these days because I had to switch my insurance over to something that paid out more heavily for physical benefits like my jaw surgery.....and because of the pandemic, and how many psychiatrists in my area and that I could actually reach aren’t taking new patients during the pandemic since most of them are conducting business virtually still, like, I have barely any resources for seeking out and trying new psychiatrist offices in the meanwhile that might charge less and I’m kinda stuck with the one I have because the last thing I can afford is to have like, NO psychiatrist at the moment, y’know?

So first I had to have that to even BOOK the appointment, which took forever because rent and food are a joy to accrue when you can barely manage to function as an actual employee of the capitalist machine ahfsklhflkahflakf, but so then I did that and like, got an appointment put on the books for August 19th. That was the soonest they could fit me in back when I paid them for my appointment about a week and a half ago. No, two weeks ago now? Eh, time is fake. ANYWAY, so that wasn’t gonna work for me, so basically the entirety of last week was devoted to constantly calling and trying to check in every other hour to see if they had any sooner cancellations I could take, because for whatever fucking reason, they just ‘don’t do’ a cancellation list wherein they call the next person on the list once they have a cancellation. Whatever.

So finally got a cancellation slot with a virtual appointment last Saturday night at random as fuck 8:40. Okay cool. Most of my refills are fairly simple, no real changes, but two are controlled substances so like, they have to do their due diligence and go through the proper protocols before giving me another prescription to one or whatever. Fine. Okay.

So I call the CVS they sent the prescription for my ADHD med to, the very next morning. One of the controlled substances, and the key med to like....making me functional instead of a rambling disjointed whirlibird of a thought emitter. Problem is, that medication is on back order. Won’t be in until Tuesday. Ugh. Okay, fine. Nothing I can do about it, because while the specific provider I spoke to in order to GET my refill prescriptions was taking an appointment the night before, the actual offices that schedule appointments and connect patients through to their providers was closed for the weekend, so I couldn’t even ask for them to send the scrip somewhere else.

SO. I go back to the CVS on Monday, hoping that maybe it came in early because not like I can do much else in the meanwhile. Course its not there, but oh well. I toy with the idea of calling to ask my provider to send the scrip to a different pharmacy (only had it sent to this one cuz its within walking distance to me, and since I can’t drive for medical reasons and Uber’s are expensive as fuck, just for errands, like, even though walking is sooooo not fun for me physically, like it is what it is). I decide against it because here’s another fun fact about this controlled substance....for security reasons, pharmacies don’t have to tell people over the phone if they have it in stock or not. Like, they won’t just say no we don’t have it in stock - I mean, they WILL say that, but that doesn’t actually mean anything because that’s what most of them say about that particular medication no matter whether or not they DO, and then just cite security protocols, so you have to actually GO to the store in question to ask them and even get a real answer to whether or not they even HAVE it in stock to FILL a prescription if its sent over. And no, the provider won’t just send scrips into several different pharmacies at once and just be whichever has it in stock can fill it - because again, controlled substance.

SO. I decide its not worth it to try getting the scrip sent over somewhere else, because I’d have to at least waste money on an Uber to even travel to various pharmacies and even check if they CAN fill it sooner than this one, when at least this place will have it in tomorrow. Its just one more day at this point.

Except then I go back on Tuesday. Oh sorry, don’t know why that other person told you we’d have our order in today, our shipments of that medication don’t come in until Wednesdays.

So I go back Wednesday. Success! They have it in stock. I go to pay, pulling out my goodRx coupon that was just printed out that morning, specifically citing the price for CVS at Target. The pharmacy manager says sorry, we don’t honor that coupon here for controlled substances like this one. I say: record scratch? He’s like yeah, that’s at the discretion of individual pharmacies, and we don’t honor that price for this specific medication, because we don’t want to attract customers only coming here to get that medication filled for that price. (This pharmacy is right at the edge of Inglewood and Culver City, for anyone who is familiar with those neighborhoods. The implications are exactly as they appear to be). So I’m like, what’s the regular generic price? He quotes me something that’s $180 more than the coupon, and thus $180 more than I have since I was focused totally on getting THIS amount ASAP, so I could get these meds so I could do more work and make more money. You see the train of thought. I’m like well that’s awesome, I don’t have anything close to that. Hey. Weird question. Why did nobody I talked to the past three days in a row that I’ve walked into this store in person to request this refill, like, mention this little tidbit about not honoring this coupon so instead of waiting for a backorder that would do me no good, I could have been spending that time having my prescription transferred somewhere that WOULD honor it?

He’s like, well did you mention to any of them that you’d be using a goodRx coupon for this particular medication? I said, yup. He said, you sure? I said well the specific process each time was I came in, I asked if this medication was in, they said what’s your name and date of birth, I provided that info, they said are you paying out of pocket, we don’t have valid insurance info for this on file for you, I said yup paying out of pocket with a goodRx coupon, they said *clickety clack of the keyboard* nope, sorry, we won’t have this medicine in until Tuesday, I mean Wednesday. 

He’s like, well you must be misremembering or they would have told you at the time that we don’t take GoodRx coupons on this medication. I’m like, dude, it was you. It was literally you that I spoke to two of those three times, right here at the counter, in person. I’m gonna go ahead and trust my memory of those interactions and what was said there over yours since you don’t actually remember having talked to me two times in the last three days. He’s like, I gotta go help another customer. There is no other customer. I leave. Fun day for everyone.

So then I call around town to at least check which CVS will actually honor the coupon I have and the price that I can afford to pay it at. I don’t bother asking if they even have the medication in stock because I know its not guaranteed to be a CORRECT answer, but at least I can see who accepts this damn coupon. Also, reason I’m only trying big brand pharmacies instead of smaller, hole in the wall ones is because again, controlled substance, and I know from experience that the bigger brand pharmacies are at least more likely to have that med in stock whereas most smaller ones tend to run out very quickly as they usually only get enough for their existing/regular customers and a little extra.

I find a CVS five miles away - not walkable, gonna have to Uber. Call my psychiatrist office again to ask them to transfer the scrip, front office says they’ll send the request to my provider, who usually checks and fulfills such requests in 24-48 hours. I’m like okay cool, can I get a phone call to let me know when that happens, so at least I know when to check back to follow up if it hasn’t happened yet for whatever reason? They’re like no, the pharmacy will send you a text or call when they get the prescription sent over and you can take it from there with them. I’m like okay, but I’ve done this a bunch of times and know from experience the pharmacy does NOT in fact always call or text, so is there a certain time to follow up to inquire if the provider has already sent the scrip and the pharmacy SHOULD have it by now or if the delay is on the provider’s end? Front office is like yeah no. I’m like, swell.

So that was yesterday. I call the pharmacy (which I still don’t even know if they have the medication IN STOCK to fill the scrip even once they GET the scrip, and won’t until I can actually Uber out there, but one thing at a time at this point) at like 9 pm, they’re a 24 hour pharmacy, and they’re like nope, we got nothing (this is after spending an hour and a half on hold to even TALK to someone at the pharmacy). Called them again today at noon, still nada. Technically I have another 29 hours before the window in which the provider is supposed to send the refill scrip to this new location, before I can be like, okay so they still haven’t done it, can we send him a nudge or another request. The 24-48 hour window will only actually EXPIRE after their offices close on Friday meaning it’ll be Monday before I can even actually REACH someone again to ask them to send the scrip again, if the pharmacy hasn’t ACTUALLY gotten it by Friday night, and pessimistically, I’m not super inclined to assume that they will at this point. 

I’m antsy, irritable, hungry because I don’t even know for SURE sure if the new pharmacy will ACTUALLY honor the coupon or say no sorry we don’t do that here either, whoever told you that was wrong, or if they’ll even actually have it in stock versus I’ll have to have it sent somewhere else AGAIN, so I have to pinch every penny possible in order to ensure I have the most money possible once my prescription IS filled in case the price is more than I expected again or in case I have to take Ubers there or further than I expected or basically....shit happens that I don’t expect. And this is what I’m basically spending all my time doing instead of working, because trying to get work done in this state is like....the harder I try to make it happen, the less it actually gets done, so I try and prioritize this and its roadblock after roadblock dragging out and wasting my time, and like yeah, I can post and shit while I’m doing this aka sitting on hold or walking around town trying to get shit filled because its fine if I ramble incoherently along the way in posts, but actual WORK work requires like....fucking coherency and succinctness and not having to stop and start every five minutes to call someone else, and oh yeah, being able to power through migraine spikes. And just.

I’m very annoyed about anything and everything to do with this shit. The hoops you have to jump through to even get the stuff that like....actualizes your hoop jumping ability, is just....*gnashing of teeth*

Anyway. So that’s my offline bullshit rant. Yay. The end.

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: What the fuck Rio: Hello to you too Rio: ? Buster: Don't act like it's not out there for everyone to see Buster: You're playing happy families with Drew now? Not what I meant when I told you to dump your boyfriend Rio: Well that's not what's happening either Rio: the kid's mum kicked off big time and rang the social so I'm helping out with damage control for Indie's sake Buster: Like I said, what the fuck Rio: It's not a big deal, really Buster: I know you wanted to move out ASAP but Christ Rio: I mean, it's a bonus to be away from ALL the kids but I still gotta share with Indie so not living lavish Buster: I'm sure Drew would be happy to discuss the sleeping arrangements, babe Rio: You're so gross Rio: and apparently it's a new one every week here so three's more of a crowd Buster: Me? I'm not the one letting this happen Buster: I go away & everyone loses their minds, yeah? Rio: We've always helped her, what were we meant to do Buster: I ain't saying don't Buster: Take her to your house Rio: She won't stay, this is her house, he's her dad Buster: He ain't Buster: & You're not her mum Rio: I'm not trying to be Rio: but he is, like it or not Buster: Does he know that 'cause he's got you lined up like you are Buster: Which is the only thing I reckon he's trying at here Rio: That's stupid, we're like sisters Rio: but that's why I need to be here, or she might get taken Buster: You're stupid if you think that's how he sees you or any of this Buster: Do what you've gotta do, but so will I & apparently that's saying this shit 'cause nobody else is Rio: You're making it into a thing it ain't Rio: he's a grown-man, for God's sake Buster: That's exactly my point Buster: He's old enough to be your dad but he'd rather be your daddy Rio: Oh, please Buster: Take the warning or don't Buster: I'm not wrong Rio: Whatever, you've said your piece then Buster: Not whatever unless you've heard it Rio: 'course I heard Buster: Whatever then Rio: 👍 Rio: Are you there then Buster: Yeah Rio: what's it like Buster: What I expected Rio: sooooo Buster: So what do you what me to say? Rio: is that good or not Rio: you know how conversation works Buster: I'm obviously having the time of my life Buster: When don't I Rio: Alright Rio: glad to hear that Buster: 'Course Rio: let you get back to that Buster: Don't Rio: Don't what Buster: Don't go Rio: It must be weird, being somewhere new and totally on your own Rio: did many other kids from your school do it too or Buster: A couple of nerds, no competition for me, like Rio: I'm sure Rio: be good if you could hang with them though Rio: some familiarity Buster: I'm not trying to ruin my rep when I only just got here Rio: I'm sure they aren't that bad Buster: What do you wanna bet? Rio: 😏 you're so rude Buster: & You're so polite Buster: It's why we're so good together Rio: Opposites attract, is it Buster: We're not total opposites either though Rio: No Rio: 'cos you reckon you're so perfect that'd just mean I'm shit and I think not Buster: 😂 Buster: You know you're on my level Rio: You've told me lots of times Buster: Believe me then Rio: I know I'm that bitch Rio: obviously Buster: Good 'cause I miss that bitch Buster: Obviously Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: I miss you too Rio: even if I really do want you to have a good time Buster: You can say that you'd rather we were having a good time together Rio: In an ideal world Buster: We can make it happen in this one Rio: We can Buster: As long as Drew doesn't hold you hostage Rio: 🙄 Rio: I doubt he's gonna appreciate all the cleaning I've done that hard Rio: which is rude, I agree Buster: He would've if he was there watching you do it Rio: Didn't pack the maid's outfit, like Buster: Gutted for him Rio: I'm sure Buster: How long are you staying? Rio: Not sure, depends if it's a one visit and done thing or they wanna keep tabs on them for longer Rio: once that's sorted, I'll see what I wanna do next Buster: When are they showing up? Rio: They don't exactly ring ahead, like Rio: don't have to let them in but that looks dodgy and if they need to they come back with police so Rio: the sooner we get this looking presentable and the story straight Rio: his stash is gone so that's the main thing Buster: That will have hit him where it really hurts Rio: Big time Rio: assumedly they've got shit in place, like it's at another dealers? Rio: I don't care, really Buster: He don't love anyone enough to flush it babe, even you Rio: 💔 Rio: Truly 😂 Rio: giveth and taketh so fast, you Buster: I can take my time too Rio: Man of many talents Buster: You know it Rio: Yeah Rio: not all of 'em yet, sadly Buster: Not even close Rio: Don't remind me Buster: Don't tell me you need a reminder Buster: I've thought about nothing else Rio: No Rio: me either Rio: which is very helpful when I've got all this shit to sort but Rio: not that mad Buster: I'm not that sorry Rio: What a surprise 😏 Buster: Only that I didn't get a chance to give you more to think about, like Rio: I didn't get to give you anything Buster: That's not true, I can make myself cum so hard whenever I'm reminded how you did for me Rio: Shit Rio: Buster Buster: Don't feel bad for me is all I'm saying Buster: I always want more, I'm used to that Rio: but Rio: I want to give you everything Rio: and I really want to touch you Buster: I want to give you everything too Buster: & Put more than just my fingers inside you Rio: Jesus Rio: I need you Rio: be here now, I'm bored Buster: I'm here Buster: Tell me what you need Rio: I need you to fuck me so hard I can't even think about anything that isn't you Buster: Touch yourself how I did it Buster: Right now, exactly like I want to Rio: Yes Rio: I haven't cum like that in Rio: ever Buster: It'll make you feel better Rio: You will Rio: you make me feel better Buster: I want you to feel good all the time Buster: That's the kind of god I am, babe Rio: Mine Buster: Fuck, that's such a turn on Rio: All I wanna do is worship you Buster: So do it Rio: You want me down on my knees for you? Buster: You know you look good like that Rio: Glad you think so Rio: it's for you Rio: [evidence] Buster: You're so fucking hot Rio: I am Rio: and wet Buster: I remember Rio: that's how I always am around you Buster: [sends his own evidence] Buster: That's how I always am for you Rio: Fuck Rio: like, my mouth is actually watering Rio: what the hell Buster: That reminds me, I didn't get to taste you Buster: Do it for me, yeah? Rio: I'll do whatever you ask me to Rio: you've got it like that Buster: Tell me what its like Buster: Make me miss you more Rio: I'm just so fucking ready,  it would feel so good for you Rio: and it's so loud, I'm going as hard as you would and I can hear every thrust, it's just making me wanna go even deeper and Rio: it tastes almost as good as it feels but I wish I was tasting myself on your fingers Rio: or on your cock, after you came too, so I could taste us together Buster: I thought I couldn't want you any more than I already do & then I all read that Rio: want me the most okay Buster: There's nobody I've ever wanted as much as you Rio: Good Rio: I'm keeping it that way Buster: I'm keeping you Buster: For as long as you can keep up with me Rio: You doubt I can? Buster: No Rio: Don't Buster: I can't. I'm never wrong Rio: Not like that Rio: but this is all types of wrong Buster: It's not, it's right Buster: You feel it, I feel it Rio: It feels more than right Buster: I know Rio: I want more Buster: There has to be something in that flat that can give you what you need Buster: Let's think Rio: I can't Rio: you've gotta for me Buster: Alright, have you unpacked or are we totally relying on a cupboard search here? Rio: I've unpacked Rio: even if there was anything phallic lying about here, I wouldn't be rushing to put it inside me, no matter how bad I need it Buster: Cleanliness is next to godliness, babe Buster: We're aiming for heaven not hell Buster: How good is your toothbrush? Rio: This is why I'm keeping you around Rio: so many good ideas Rio: better be in the bathroom too now, in case one of them comes back Buster: Lock the door & take your time Rio: Like you're gonna with me when you come back Buster: That's the plan but since every fucker's had a different one & kept me waiting so long I swear I could cum before you've even touched me Buster: Ruining my rep Rio: that's so hot, baby Rio: seriously Rio: we're gonna have all the time we want so it won't matter Rio: I wanna know how bad you want me Buster: I want you so bad it actually hurts Buster: I always reckoned that was bullshit but I do Rio: it's so real Rio: being in a room with you was so fucking hard Buster: All I could think about was touching you & kissing you & how much I needed that from you even for a second Buster: That's still all I can think about, like Rio: Me too Rio: it was exhausting having to pretend otherwise Rio: still do with everyone else but you know now Buster: You're so fucking beautiful Buster: Everything you do is the most distracting thing Rio: You actually think that Rio: I can tell Buster: There's literally no point lying to you now, is there? Rio: Nope Rio: but I don't reckon anyone's called me that seriously Rio: especially not during Buster: If I can tell you to fuck yourself with a toothbrush seriously, I can tell you what I really think Rio: I guess you can Buster: There's nothing I can't do Buster: You know who I am Rio: I know you Buster: You need better boyfriends and a better substitute for me Rio: You want those to be one in the same or Buster: They'll never be the same Rio: Daddy Buster: Nobody will ever be as good as me but they should all do better than they are Rio: I'll tell them Buster: Demand it babe Buster: & If they aren't gonna tell you how perfect you are, I will Rio: God please Rio: you're making me so Buster: Finish your sentence, I wanna hear it Rio: I don't even know what you're making me Rio: I feel like I'm gonna explode Buster: I felt like that the whole drive, the whole fucking night, you know Buster: It'd be ridiculous if it was over anyone else Rio: Seriously Rio: this ain't me Rio: whatever you might've thought Buster: I know you too Buster: Even when I pretend I don't Rio: Yeah Rio: it's fucked 'cos of how much you ain't been here and all that time not talking but Rio: you do, more than most people Rio: somehow Buster: They see what they wanna see, babe Buster: But there ain't nothing wrong with looking at you how you are Buster: I want to so I do Buster: Give me the real version, I'll take it Rio: It's yours Buster: You mean that, I can tell Rio: I did Rio: not gonna argue when what you're saying is true Buster: What's truer still is how much I want you here instead of there Rio: You know I want that too Buster: & That if I bothered with wishes I'd use one not to be in a room full of people right now when none of them are you Rio: How are you even able to be around people right now Buster: Multitasking Rio: I'm not doing a good enough job clearly Buster: I've just had loads of time to get used to what being around you feels like, firstly & keeping it a secret, secondly Buster: Plus I couldn't opt out of this welcome bullshit Rio: Fair and fair Rio: you should be concentrating though Buster: I'm concentrating on what matters Rio: Actually a bit obsessed with you right now Rio: you win Buster: If I'm doing a good enough job, so do you Rio: You're not capable of doing anything but the best, baby Buster: Don't flatter me like that in public Buster: I nearly just Rio: sometimes I want you to just Rio: lose control, just a bit, just with me Rio: anyway, not flattery if it's true is it Buster: You know I want that more than anything, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: I will make it happen, just not right right now Rio: not the first impression you wanna make, is it Buster: It's the impression I wanna leave you with though Rio: Danger, yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: You're gonna be the death of me, you know Buster: You can't get to heaven without that, baby Rio: Didn't say don't do it Rio: don't stop Buster: I won't if you don't Buster: Come on Rio: Was I meant to tell you when I came? Rio: 'cos I have, multiple times Buster: All the more reason to keep going Buster: Unless your new boyfriend is back, like Rio: I thought you might go if you knew I had Rio: and I don't want you to Buster: I don't want to Buster: This is boring, you're not Rio: I never am Rio: that's a promise I can make, easy Buster: Good Buster: Prove it then Rio: Alright Rio: your sound is off, yeah? Buster: What kind of amateur do you think I am? Rio: Not tryna get you into that much trouble before you even start there Rio: save that for later Rio: and watch this later when you can listen too for the full experience Rio: [vid] Buster: I have headphones I'll do it now Buster: Hold on Rio: Okay Buster: Oh fuck Buster: You really are proving yourself, aren't you? Rio: Just keeping up with you Buster: No argument here Rio: I like watching myself back Buster: The kids behind me better not be watching you too, I'll have to start a fight & get a rep for being turned on my punching lads Rio: 😂 Rio: You DO like punching things but Buster: Not this much Buster: You're gonna make me have to walk out, aren't you? Rio: Well, only you've got headphones on, remember Rio: you make the best noises Buster: You must really like watching yourself to be this good at filming yourself Buster: This is like next level Rio: Ain't the first time I've done it, put it that way Rio: when I've managed to get some time to myself Rio: gotta make the most Buster: Girl of many talents Rio: You're gonna make me blush Buster: You're doing worse to me Buster: Fucking hell Rio: I owed you Rio: debt not cleared yet either, like Buster: What do I have to do to get sent home from America? 'Cause believe me I'm tempted Rio: Let's have fun finding out, golden boy Buster: Alright Buster: Taking my headphones out would be a good start, like but you know me & sharing Rio: It's just for you Buster: You are Buster: You're mine Rio: Does saying that turn you on as much as hearing it does for me Rio: 'cos fuck Buster: Yeah it does Rio: It's true Buster: I'm biting my lip so hard right now Buster: There's gonna be blood in my mouth for you Rio: You're impossible Rio: how are you fucking every fantasy I've ever had rolled into one Buster: If you find out, ask how you're the best thing that ever happened to me, yeah? Rio: You must look so fucking good right now Rio: how has no one noticed Buster: Maybe someone has Buster: I'll find out when we're forced to do icebreakers later Rio: Lemme know, babe Buster: Are you sure you wanna? Rio: What you mean? Buster: You know what I mean Rio: Oh Rio: yeah Rio: don't Buster: Don't tell you or don't do it Rio: Don't tell me Rio: you can do what you want Rio: got a boyfriend, don't I Buster: No you don't Buster: Drew's more of a threat than he is Rio: So you keep saying Rio: it ain't like you're gonna go Rio: however long you're there Rio: without sex Buster: I told you, I can do anything Rio: and anyone, right Buster: If I want Rio: What do you want Buster: Dump your boyfriend then ask me Rio: It's not that easy is it Buster: Why not? Rio: He's Rio: it's hard to explain, really Buster: Try Rio: You've seen how he posts Rio: he's intense Rio: been hurt before bad, I don't need to be the next Buster: I can be intense Buster: & I can hurt him Rio: You don't need to Rio: I'm the one in the wrong Buster: Fine Rio: I want to Rio: I will Rio: I can't just fire him a text and pretend it's done to you Rio: I'm not trying to lie to you Buster: Yeah don't Rio: I'm not Rio: I ain't going to Rio: I'm sick of that Buster: Me too Rio: I'll sort it Buster: Take your time, I'm not coming back until summer Rio: Be married if I left it that long, Christ Buster: I already told you I'd stop the wedding Buster: Just don't have a kid, you'd be nearly ready to drop when I walk through the door Rio: No chance Rio: that'd be a nightmare Buster: You're 16 of course it would Rio: Yeah but specifically with him Rio: don't need that connection forever Rio: thank you Buster: I could kill him but I'd rather it didn't come to that for the sake of you not having him as a baby daddy Rio: I must be special Rio: could've just offered to win a custody battle for me Buster: Obviously Buster: Like you said, I enjoy punching shit Rio: You have that in common, actually Buster: Don't Buster: Never compare me to him Rio: Sorry Buster: There's no comparison Rio: I know that better than anyone Rio: promise Buster: You would tell me Buster: If you couldn't sort it Rio: Yeah Rio: It's not anything serious, don't worry Buster: Just know that I'd do anything for you Buster: If things ever get serious, with whoever or whatever Rio: You're really decent, you know Rio: not something I thought I'd be saying about you, honestly Rio: but you are Buster: Shut up Rio: Secret's safe with me Buster: It's not a secret, it's an untruth Rio: Not to me Buster: Like you said, you must be special then Rio: Maybe Buster: Definitely Buster: We all have to own what we are & what we're not Rio: Agreed Rio: so we're special, yeah? Buster: & Indecent Rio: Like the sound of that Buster: 😈 Rio: You can be my devil too Buster: Easily done Rio: Long as you want me to feel good still Buster: Forever then Rio: Deal Buster: Still not cutting my beautiful hand open to seal it though Buster: No offense, babe Rio: Other more fun ways to get blood from you Rio: I'll bite your lip instead Buster: One day I won't have to beat you to it Rio: I'll put it on my calendar Buster: Throw me a private party, yeah? Rio: You know I will Rio: everyone else can wait Rio: I'll have missed you most Buster: I can't wait to show you properly how much I want you Rio: I want you all summer, seriously Rio: don't make any plans Buster: Okay Rio: Do you know how fucking needy I'm gonna be by then Buster: Believe me, I know Buster: You haven't touched me & can't Rio: Baby Rio: tell me when you're alone again Rio: don't care what the time is Buster: Are you sure? It's still morning here, it'll be ages before they're done with this socialising bullshit Rio: Yeah Rio: It'll be weird sleeping here Buster: Alright Buster: You distract me, I'll distract you Rio: Another deal Buster: Yeah Rio: I'm not at school yet Rio: and fuck school anyway Buster: Fuck your school Buster: This one is epic Buster: It's like I'm in a film or some shit Rio: You're adorable Buster: Shut up Rio: I'm not taking the piss Rio: you are Buster: Adorable ain't the word, babe Rio: You like being called a nerd less Buster: So don't Rio: It's not a diss Buster: It ain't a compliment Rio: You told me not to when you're in public Buster: Well, maybe I've changed my mind Rio: Come on Rio: you know how hot I think you are Buster: You know I like hearing it Rio: I've lost count of how many times I've cum thinking about you today Buster: I've lost count of how many times I've had to stop myself Rio: You're gonna blow the biggest load when you do Rio: such a waste Rio: you'll have to show me at least Buster: They're giving us a break in a sec, you can have it then Rio: Yes please Buster: I don't need coffee, I need you Rio: I know you do Rio: So cum for me daddy, I want it, I wanna make you feel as good as you've made me Buster: Rio Rio: Buster Buster: I can't say it out loud until they let me out of here but I want to Rio: Will you Rio: record it so I can keep it Buster: Yeah Buster: It won't look as good as yours, I don't film myself as much as you but I will Rio: You should Rio: you're very pretty Buster: I know Rio: and hot Rio: it's rude Buster: It's about to benefit you Buster: Where do you want me to go? I've got 15 minutes Rio: Hmm Rio: there's got to be an empty classroom or something, no Buster: There's loads Buster: Hold on Rio: You should sit on the teacher's desk Buster: Good idea Rio: Only fitting Buster: There's so much shit on here Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: Push it to the floor Buster: Way ahead of you, I'm not trying to cum all over someone's homework Rio: A new spin on the old excuse Rio: but I'm not trying to be jealous of someone's homework, tah Buster: That was loud though, if anyone heard that I could get sent home sooner than we expected Buster: I'm not gonna stop now, I can't Rio: As much as I want you here your parents would actually kill me Rio: gotta be a good boy, even when you're being really bad Buster: They'd kill me, they don't know its your fault Buster: Nobody knows what you do to me & what you make me wanna do Rio: It's just for us Buster: If I could I'd tell everyone how good you are, you deserve all the credit for getting me this worked up this fast Rio: you'll just have to give me extra credit, yeah Rio: like you said, maybe the kids behind you know how good I am too Rio: can brag if it helps your rep Buster: So you hate it when I brag unless its about you, yeah? Rio: I don't hate it Rio: just when you brag to me Buster: I'll be good, like you told me to, don't worry Rio: Believe it when I see it, boy Buster: It's recording, be patient Rio: Fine Rio: as I don't have to be THAT patient Buster: It's hot when you're this impatient Rio: That's why you left it years then, yeah? Buster: That & I needed to practice my kissing, obviously Rio: 😏 Rio: I like kissing you Buster: Yeah? Buster: I've got good lips, I remember Rio: You've got good everything Rio: s'rude Buster: You'll feel differently when you can do whatever you want to me for as long as you want Rio: yeah Rio: hope so Rio: I remember you said I could have one for every day so you'll have to crack on right away, like Buster: You can do the maths on 7 months worth of days whenever you miss me Rio: What day do you come back? Buster: 1st, same as when I left Rio: 213 then Rio: no pressure Buster: Firstly, I thrive under pressure & secondly, it's really how fast you worked that out Buster: hot* Buster: It'll be easy Buster: We've got all summer Rio: Good thing too, some people might not appreciate being made to work their summer Rio: and shut up Buster: Make me Buster: I actually need you to so I don't get caught Rio: You're so fucking Rio: but it's just for me Rio: we're gonna be pros at not getting caught by the end of the summer Buster: I'm not a pro yet though so come here & keep me quiet, it's the least you can do when it's your fault I'm being this loud Rio: All the ways I could keep you quiet Rio: hmm, which would be most fun Buster: Think fast Buster: Or everyone's gonna know your name Rio: Yeah, 'cos that's not what I want at all Buster: Please Buster: Help me out here, like Rio: Fuck Rio: Okay baby Rio: you just need something you can bite on harder than your lip Buster: Good thing I'm on a teacher's desk surrounded by pens & pencils Buster: Better go with the latter to not get shit loads of ink in my mouth if I bite too hard Rio: Be really cute but more of a giveaway Rio: show me the damage after Buster: I've done that before but never for this reason Buster: It takes ages to get rid Rio: Fuck's sake Rio: you're killing me Buster: It's mutual baby Rio: Yeah Rio: it really is Buster: I'll buy you a new toothbrush, I promise Rio: 😂 thanks, babe Rio: battery died ages ago Buster: Fuck that, I'll buy you something better to play with then Rio: Really? Buster: Land of the free, home of the brave Buster: Spoilt for choice Rio: Don't try and bring back anything too big, they will search your bag, like Buster: I'll get it sent to you, you shouldn't have to wait for everything Rio: You're so good to me Buster: You're just so good, full stop Rio: I wanna be Rio: for you Buster: You are Buster: & You're mine anyway Rio: I'm yours, Buster Buster: Shit Buster: Well, that did it Buster: You did Rio: 🤤 Rio: Gimme gimme Buster: Hold on, I gotta clean up in case I've also gotta run Rio: Good idea Rio: why you need me there Buster: A box of tissues is no replacement, babe Rio: Sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me Buster: I aim to please Rio: mhmm and I give you somewhere else to aim Buster: If you turn me on again, I swear to god Buster: There ain't enough pencils or tissues in this room Rio: Best behaviour 🤐🤞 Buster: Though losing my voice would get me out of icebreakers Buster: Maybe I should let you Buster: I could just be the strong, silent type all day Rio: 😏 A mood Buster: All the American girls I've met so far would love it, they never shut the fuck up Rio: 😂 Rio: you don't even have to pretend to listen, trust Buster: I won't Buster: I'll be too busy tuning the accent out Rio: At least the school is good, like Buster: This desk is pretty comfortable, yeah Buster: I'll give 'em that Buster: We probably wouldn't even break it Rio: Be fun to try though Buster: Fun ain't the word Rio: They gonna teach you any new words over there Rio: Probably won't spell or say 'em right, remember Buster: 😂 Buster: I'll teach 'em where they're going wrong Rio: If you're offering diction lessons, I don't wanna know Buster: It'd only make me homesick Buster: Say what you like about Chelsea girls but when they talk dirty to you, it makes up for a multitude of other sins Rio: Shut up Rio: idiot Buster: [drops vid like don't be mad at me ILY lol] Rio: Nice save Buster: Better than nice, you'll see Rio: Someone's back Rio: gonna have to wait Buster: Tell your man, I said hello Rio: Hilarious Buster: Not joking or laughing, like Rio: Don't start this again Buster: I never stopped Rio: Well I don't know what you want me to say Buster: Tell me that you know this is a bad idea but you're doing it anyway Buster: Be honest Rio: I know Drew is a bit Rio: well, Drew Rio: but he wouldn't do that and more importantly, I wouldn't Rio: Indie needs me Buster: Rio, come on Buster: Don't act like that's one line he wouldn't cross Rio: He's known me forever Rio: literally Buster: & He treats everyone else he knows so well, yeah? Buster: Why does Indie need you? 'Cause he's a selfish cunt Rio: I'm not saying that Rio: or disputing that he is Rio: it's not like this is an endorsement of him Rio: I'm just saying he really is not gonna wanna fuck someone he's known since they were an actual baby Buster: I've known you that long, what's the difference? Rio: You're the same age, it's different Rio: he would've been our age, old enough to remember it all Buster: He acts like he's our age still Rio: Yeah Rio: I mean, it must be shit Rio: all your friends get wifed up really early Rio: like, are you planning to be grown up by the time your 30? Buster: Is he planning to be grown up by the time his kids are, more like Buster: That's what's shit Buster: For them Rio: It's a shit situation Rio: always has been Buster: Just be careful, okay? Rio: Of course Rio: don't worry Buster: Don't make me Rio: I'm not Rio: I won't Buster: Good Rio: 👍 Buster: Do you have to go? Rio: I can stay Rio: we've not got school for another 2 days so Rio: just doing stuff here Buster: At least when Indie's in school it ain't your job to stop her from almost killing her classmates Rio: Well, in theory Rio: teachers don't do fuck all, do they Buster: Mine just kick you out at the first sign of anything less than perfection Buster: Stricter when it's posher Rio: 'Course Rio: but you can pay to be there no matter how thick you are Rio: look at our politicians, half of 'em went to oxford Buster: No argument Buster: It worked for Nance, who can't even read Rio: Don't be a dick Buster: It's a fact Rio: Not really and you don't have to point things out just 'cos they're true, you know Buster: You don't have to hide from things just 'cause you don't want them to be true either Buster: I bet she loves it there anyway, the playing field's well levelled, no fucker's reading Rio: 🙄 You're such a snob Buster: Fuck off Rio: What, you blatantly are Buster: If I was a snob, I wouldn't like you, would I? Rio: Oh wow, so nice of you to stoop to my level Buster: It ain't my fault you're trying so hard not to be on mine Rio: Whatever, like Buster: You're not working class, like Rio: You're the one chatting that I am Buster: 'Cause you try so hard to be Buster: Only when it suits you though Rio: Do I Rio: well ain't that exactly what you applaud yourself for Rio: adapting and overcoming, all that bullshit Buster: 'Cause that's what I do Buster: You think you can have your cake, eat it & then judge me for my fucking choices Rio: It isn't judging you to point out when you're being a dick Buster: A snob is a pejorative term Buster: & Yet you're the one thinking you're superior to me 'cause you chat council but spend like you're from Chelsea Rio: Are you serious? Rio: Oh my God Rio: you said I can't read and I'm lucky you give me the time of day Rio: if that's how I'm meant to behave 'cos my parents have money then I'd rather fake it the other way, thanks Buster: Nah, I said my sister can't & she must be loving your shit school Buster: Which is how you've described it loads of times Buster: You're smart, don't be stupid Rio: Have you asked her yourself Rio: as you're so interested Buster: Why are you asking me a question you already know the answer to? Buster: I said, don't be stupid Rio: Prove a point Buster: What's your point? She don't wanna talk to me, that's been proven loads of times Rio: Are you trying Buster: Trying to what, change her mind? Buster: Why would I wanna Rio: Because you wanna talk to her, obviously Buster: I don't Rio: Alright Buster: Is it? Or do you wanna judge me for that as well? Rio: Oh shut up Buster: Don't tell me to shut up Rio: I will Rio: you've called me stupid plenty of times, you've earnt it Buster: You've been stupid, you aren't Buster: That's why it's frustrating Rio: I'm not a child Buster: Don't be childish then Rio: I'd quit whilst you were vaguely ahead if I were you Buster: I'm not a quitter, babe. You've got the wrong twin Rio: Do you want to talk about her or not? Buster: I'm not talking about her, I'm talking about me Rio: Sure Rio: that's what your icebreakers are for Buster: I'll go do 'em then Buster: You've made your point Rio: Okay Rio: Enjoy then Buster: I'll do my best Rio: No doubt Buster: Shouldn't be Rio: You're arguing for the sake of now Buster: You're winding me up for the sake of Rio: I'm not that bored Rio: busy, busy Buster: Then stop Buster: Or fuck off Buster: One or the other Rio: If that's what you want Buster: It's what I said Rio: I said go have fun Buster: Fine Rio: Don't be moody Buster: Don't make me Rio: I ain't done anything Buster: Bullshit Buster: You're always doing something Buster: I miss you Rio: you think I don't miss you too Rio: I miss you loads, actually and it's fucking Buster: I want you so bad Buster: I can't do this Buster: Months of it Rio: There's no alternative though Rio: we have to Buster: I know, fuck's sake, I know Buster: I'm just jetlagged or whatever Buster: Forget it Rio: Yeah Rio: sure, fine by me Buster: It is fine & I can do anything Rio: I never said you couldn't Rio: it'll be alright Buster: I'll cum in this classroom again & get over it Buster: Who else am I, like? Rio: Buster, it's okay Rio: it's a totally new experience, it's fine to feel overwhelmed, doesn't mean you won't ace it Buster: Don't Rio: Okay Rio: but it's true Buster: It's not, there is no out of my depth Rio: Not the word I used Rio: and not what I meant Rio: moving and starting something new is hectic Rio: even if you can handle it Buster: Like I said, I thrive under pressure Buster: There's nothing I can't handle Rio: Exactly, they wouldn't have chosen you otherwise, would they Buster: I know you think I just paid my way here Rio: No I don't Buster: If I think I'm better, it's 'cause I am Buster: 'Cause I put in the work to be Rio: Literally never tried to take that away from you Rio: just saying you don't have to call me or your sister thick to prove that Rio: there's plenty of proof already, yeah? Buster: I'd never call you thick 'cause I'm never wrong Buster: You're really smart Rio: You don't need to do that now Rio: like you said, you work hard Rio: I don't Buster: You can still do anything Buster: Whatever you want Buster: Just like I can Rio: I know Rio: just priorities Rio: not everyone wants the same shit Buster: There's no limits, that's all I'm saying Buster: Nance ain't the same Buster: She's never been Rio: I'm sure she still has plans Buster: She has to, she may have left but there's no escaping mum & dad Buster: It's not the same as being self motivated Rio: No Rio: but maybe she's alright with that Rio: or maybe she ain't Rio: but what can you do Rio: self-motivation for a reason, like Buster: She does what she does to please them, I do what I do to please myself Buster: There's plenty I could do if she let me Rio: She'll find her thing Buster: Not if she keeps jacking everything in as soon as it gets hard Rio: That's not what leaving London was about Rio: come on Buster: Yeah it was Buster: She gave up Rio: She was being really badly bullied Rio: nothing is worth living like that day in day out Rio: especially if you don't even want it for yourself Buster: She let it get to that Rio: She couldn't control that Rio: that's on the people who were doing it Buster: She could've Buster: Just take it back from them Rio: Just take it, you mean Rio: she's not you, is she Buster: No, just stop it Buster: There's a way to stop anything Rio: Not be gay, not be shy, not be herself Rio: she could've but maybe she was over not having anything she wanted Rio: if she's already got to live for your parents in one way, why live for people who would still probably hate her anyway as well Buster: Those are all excuses, they did it to her 'cause they could. Simple as Rio: There's obvious reasons why they picked on her and not you, alright Rio: and I'm sorry but no, just being strong would not stop it Rio: nothing is about you is a target where you live, you can't get it Rio: you fit, she didn't Buster: They'd pick on me if I was a pussy Buster: But I made myself fit Rio: Well she didn't want to then, can be simple as that Buster: You think I wanted to day 1 when we moved there? Buster: Fuck that Rio: I'm sure you didn't Rio: she needed an out and she took the first she could Rio: you're working for yours Buster: She didn't work for hers Buster: She never works for anything Rio: She went through a lot of shit, though Buster: Woe's her then Rio: I'm just saying Buster: Look where you are & what for Buster: Everyone's going through it Buster: She ain't special Rio: Yeah, of course Rio: I'm not saying she's the only one who has or is going through bullshit Rio: I know you did too Buster: I didn't & don't mean me Buster: I'm not struggling, never have done Buster: Like you said, obvious reasons Rio: You want me to agree like I believe that? Rio: Reasons you just had different problems Rio: rich boys aren't exempt, they just get lots less sympathy for theirs Buster: There ain't no reason for you to disagree or disbelieve Buster: I can barely play the dead brother card 'cause he weren't one Buster: Got not even a day's mileage out of that Rio: You're not allowed to talk about it, I remember Buster: There's nothing to talk about anyway, he's just a name, didn't get to be anything else Rio: He existed for 9 months before that Rio: I know it doesn't start the day they pop out Buster: Not to me, I was a kid, what did I care? Buster: That's my mum's grief not mine Rio: You weren't that young Buster: A lad then, what does it matter Rio: You were allowed to grieve Rio: you still are Buster: Like I said, for what? Buster: It ain't as if I'm an only child Rio: For what he coulda been, who Buster: That'd be like grieving for who I reckon my sister should be Buster: Not gonna have a candlelit vigil for her backbone Rio: You can do Rio: think it's considered a bit insensitive to hold a funeral for her 'just 'cos she's not gonna have the husband and 2.5 kids these days but I'll keep it on the dl Buster: We don't know who he would've been & we never will Buster: It's a waste of time Rio: Yeah Rio: It's a big waste of time and you can't do anything about it Buster: Why do you want me to be powerless? Like is that a turn on for you or what? Buster: I don't want your fucking pity, alright Rio: I don't and no it's not Rio: I told you, you won't get any Buster: Good Buster: Maybe you reckon I should be fucked up but I ain't Buster: Gutted to burst your bubble though Rio: Why would I want that Buster: You tell me Rio: I don't Rio: so I've got no idea Buster: Then stop chatting like I have all these issues Rio: I just said you can Rio: not that you do Buster: Well, cheers for your permission in that case Rio: Any time Buster: I have to go Rio: Okay then Rio: talk to you later Buster: Yeah

[gaytonystark]

In The Light Part 2

Pairing: Loki x Reader Words: 2,144 A/N: Sooooo part 3 is already underway and I hope you all like this part!

Part 1

“Are you insane?” Tony couldn’t believe what he was hearing when Thor suggested sending you to Asgard to finish your training and rightfully so. “We can’t just ship her off to your demented brother!”

“Loki is not as he was when you last saw him. He’s changed and I wouldn’t trust him with this if I thought he would betray me.” Thor looked at you warmly and you flashed an encouraging smile at him. “This may be our-her only opportunity to make the best of her abilities.”

“Thor, I know he’s your brother, but this can’t possibly be the best option.” Natasha said, trying to reason with the god. “We’ve got state of the art facilities here that we can reinforce-”

“So that she can destroy it a bit slower? Y/N has powers that you here on Midgard are unable to accommodate. We cannot punish her for something she has not yet learned to control.” Thor tried to reason with them but it felt like it was all falling on deaf ears.

“She’s not being punished!” Tony snapped as he squared his shoulders immediately taking offense to what he said. “We have given her everything to keep her safe which is something you seem to have forgotten about.”

“There is nowhere safer in the Nine Realms than my home world. I can guarantee her safety and she’ll finally be able to understand the full extent of her powers.”

It seemed as though the whole team had their own opinions about your future. You had stayed quiet throughout the whole argument, but the time had come for you to finally say something. Your attempts to interject were ignored while everyone argued their point so it was time to make them listen to you. A flash of light emanated from your hands and stopped everyone in the middle of their rants.

“Hey! Has anyone bothered to ask me what I want to do?” You shouted over Earth’s Mightiest Heroes as they blinked repeatedly trying to get rid of the temporary blindness. “Because the only person who has even tried to hear me out is Thor.” You had their attention and after letting out a shaky breath, you continued. “Yeah my reaction was very similar when he said Loki would essentially be looking after me, but that sounds better than wrecking whatever’s left of the compound.”

“Y/N, we can cover the damage, it’s not a problem.” Tony said, rubbing his eyes profusely.

“Tony, you can’t keep cleaning up my mess. I know you’ll just keep rebuilding and I won’t get any better. Not to mention that one of these days someone’s gonna get hurt.” They all looked at you with brand new eyes and you were relieved that they had at least stop shouting at each other. “I appreciate everything that you have all done, I really do, but I honestly believe this is what’s best for me and the team.” Nobody said anything and you were scared you had taken it too far with the blinding light.

“But we’ll miss you.” Steve’s voice cut through the pregnant silence after your mini speech and you breathed a sigh of relief.

“I”ll miss you too, Spangles.” Your heart melted and it felt as though a huge weight had lifted off your shoulders. Steve stepped forward into your outstretched arms and squeezed you tight. The rest of the team joined in and pretty soon you were in the middle of a super group hug. “I’ll miss all of you. This won’t be easy for me either, having to leave the first place that’s actually felt like home.”

“It’s not like we won’t be here when you get back.” Said Clint as they began to pull away and you could have sworn you saw a tear escape his left eye before he quickly wiped it away. “If you want to come back at all.”

“Of course I'll come back, like I said-this is my home. As soon as I trust myself enough to use my powers properly Thor will open up the rainbow bridge so I can come home, right Point Break?”

“Absolutely. The moment you are ready, I'll be honored to lead you back.” Thor bowed his head respectfully and everyone breathed a little easier.

“So, when do you leave?” Wanda asked the question no one wanted an answer to.

“I've made the necessary accommodations back in Asgard so we can have Heimdall open the Bifrost to grant us passage whenever Y/N is ready to leave.” Thor gave you a reassuring look and squeezed your shoulder.

“Well then I think we should go sooner rather than later.” You said decisively, not realizing just how fast this all was happening. “Do I need to pack anything?”

“The necessities and more will be provided to you so you can ‘fit in’ as you say.” Thor put the words in air quotes and you stifled a giggle. “But you're welcome to bring anything you'd like.”

“Yeah I'll just pack a bag and we can go.” You turned to look at the rest of the team with slightly solemn eyes. “I guess this is goodbye.”

“You're not even gonna let me throw you a going away party?” Tony scoffed as he engulfed you in another hug.

Flashes of the last Tony Stark party you attended almost made you sick to your stomach all over again. “No because I'd like to go to Asgard with a healthy liver.”

“Your loss.” Said Natasha as she pushed him aside to hug you too. “It's not gonna be the same without you.”

“You guys won't even remember me by the time I get back.” You said jokingly but truthfully you already couldn't wait to come back and be totally in control of your powers.

The rest of the goodbyes were as heart wrenching as you had anticipated. You went back to your room to stuff your backpack with a few mementos and some other stuff to get you by. Something told you Asgard wouldn't have your favorite shade of liquid lipstick so you threw it in with everything else. Along with that, were photos of you and the team and a necklace with a quartz gem hanging on the chain that Steve had given you. In no time you had your bag packed with the important stuff and met Thor outside where he was waiting for you.

“Are you ready, Y/N?”

“Ready as I'll ever be.” You said and the nerves must have been all over your face because Thor laid a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“There's no need to be nervous, Y/N, you have my word that no harm will come to you and Loki will be an excellent teacher.”

“You're right, this will be fine. Everything will be fine.” You said more to convince yourself than anything else.

He wrapped a meaty arm around your small shoulders and thrusted Mjolnir into the air to signal the Bifrost. The portal opened and you were sucked into the stars. It felt like your body was being stretched all over the galaxy and your brain was being pulled apart. The trip may have only been seconds but it felt like much longer. Thor stepped into the entrance to Asgard with his arm still firmly wrapped around you and you gasped at the view.

Glistening towers shone on the horizon and the crystal clear water waved calmly beneath you. The setting sun only added to the majesty of everything you were seeing. The trip and the sight before you left you absolutely breathless.

“Greetings, Odinson.” Heimdall, the legendary gatekeeper of Asgard who you had heard about from Thor, greeted his friend warmly.

“Heimdall, thank you for granting us passage.” Thor said as he let go so you could get your bearings. “Y/N, are you alright?” He asked because you were still staring slack jawed at the amazing city.

“Totally.” You said breathlessly.

“Excellent and welcome to Asgard. This will be your home until you decide you are ready to return and please, take as much time as you need.” He led you out farther onto the bridge leading to the city where a pair of horses were waiting for you. “I will take you to where you are staying then on to the feast!”

“Feast? Thor there’s really no need-”

“Nonsense! You being here is cause for celebration!” He said as he helped you onto your horse. “And you will finally meet Sif and The Warriors Three. It'll be a grand event!” Thor mounted his horse and led yours to your new home before you had a chance to protest further.

Asgard was so much more breathtaking up close. Everywhere you looked was another wonder to behold and you couldn't tear your eyes away. If Thor hadn't been leading your horse you might have gotten lost just looking at all the amazing things. Finally you arrived at the palace that would be your home and it towered intimidatingly above you. People all around looked up at you upon your arrival, or rather they looked at your friend then gave you a slightly confused look before turning their attention back. However, their strange looks couldn't possibly deflate your giddy mood.

“Thor, this is incredible!” You dismounted your horse with only minimal difficulty, but your eyes couldn't leave the gorgeous castle.

“I'm glad you like it,” Thor said, a pleased smile on his face, “I know it's not the compound but I hope you'll be happy here for the time being. Come along, I'll show you to your room.”

Thor led you down a myriad of hallways and it seemed like there were people everywhere. They all walked with such purpose and confidence that made you want to be just like them. You squared your shoulders and walked with a little more umph in your step because this was where you belonged now. Thor walked you down another grand hallway until he stopped at an ornate door and threw it open. Your new room was floor to ceiling gold and even more ornate decor was all over the walls.

“I asked that they make it fit for a warrior of Asgard.” Thor broke you out of your trance and you picked your jaw up off the floor.

“It's-I can't-you didn't-I mean thank you so much, Thor.” You were at a loss for words, which you figured would be happening often, and struggled to find the right words to show your appreciation.

“There is nothing to thank me for, Y/N, I only ask for your happiness in return.”

“You definitely got it because this is amazing!” You walked around the incredibly done up room, still in complete awe. “Honestly, Thor, I still can't believe this is happening.”

“Neither can I and yet here we all are.” Loki, the legendary god of mischief was leaning against the doorframe, eyeing you disinterestedly.

“Brother! You made it!” Thor wrapped his huge arms around his brother and Loki squirmed out of his intense grasp.

“Of course I made it, you had three guards follow me to make sure I didn't abandon you and your new pet.” He looked at you slightly disdainfully before returning his brooding gaze to Thor.

“All the same I'm happy to see you!” Said Thor, completely blinded by his love for his brother to see his sour attitude. “And so is Y/N, aren't you?”

“You could say that.” You said, eyeing the God of Mischief and sizing him up as best you could.

“Come now, you'll be better acquainted at the feast in honor of Y/N’s arrival!” Thor ushered Loki out of your doorway and he looked over his shoulder at you for longer than you were comfortable with. “Y/N, garments for tonight's festivities have been left for you! Lady Sif will accompany you to the Grand Hall when you're ready!”

He shut the door to give you some privacy and you found the clothes he mentioned. They were nothing like what you were used to, but you somehow managed to figure how everything was supposed to fit. You looked in one of the many reflective surfaces and saw a goddess. It was the first time you looked in a mirror saw yourself as something other than a destructive little girl. This was your chance to start new and be more than you ever thought possible. You already looked the part, now you just had to prove it to yourself that it could be done.

“Y/N, it’s time, are you ready?” Sif’s kind voice came from the door after a gentle knock.

“Yeah, I’m ready!” You tore your eyes away from your reflection and you saw the bright light that had left your eyes so long ago. “Let’s go.”

It was finally gonna be your time in the light.

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[topicprinter]

The reason why I say "FINALLY" hit 20k monthly revenue is because I could have done it SO much sooner. Here is what I have learned, and hopefully, this will inspire you and help you to not make the same mistakes that I made early on.Here's a little background on myself and my business. I am 22 years old, and I come from a long line of business owners on both sides of my family. My grandfather owned several electronics stores in the Utah Valley. My uncles owned a contracting business, and my dad while he was growing up, worked with his dad at his stores. When I was born, my dad decided it was time to start his own business. He decided to do low voltage contracting work, i.e. Commercial Sound, Video, Tele-Data Networking, Security, etc. He built his first business and I worked with him everyday since I was old enough to walk. It's in my blood. He sold that business in 2004 for $275,000. It was just him and 1 other employee when he sold it. He started another company in 2006 doing the same thing and built it even bigger. He was paying himself $350,000 a year. That was after taxes. With 2 employees and himself, 3 of them total. Him and my mom divorced and he got depressed, lost grip on the business and it went bankrupt in 2010. In 2013, my dad approached me and asked if I wanted to start another business with him, and I agreed. I had just dropped out of college, and was moving back to town. My mom took the house and my dad was living in the shop that he got to keep because it was technically owned by his other LLC specifically in case something like that ever happened. Smart. I moved in with my dad, my best friend committed suicide, and I got pretty heavy into drugs and drinking. My dad was still rattled from the divorce and change in his life, so we both neglected the business. Here's how stupid we were: Doing absolutely nothing, not advertising, only working when we absolutely HAD to do jobs (maybe 2 hours a day, 3 days a week), blowing off customers, paying bills late, and just being jackasses, the business was STILL doing well enough that it paid all the bills, mortgage and was self sustaining. Wasn't growing, but it was almost running itself. We have a very loyal customer base, and some of them have followed my dad through his different businesses for almost 20 years. I am blessed we have those customers who still continued to give us work, even when we did nothing to deserve it. The reason why they like us is because of the quality of our work. They call us when no one else can fix it. Or no one else can get a cable pulled to a certain area. We do what the other guys can't and won't do and we are (not trying to sound conceited) REALLY good at what we do. So after not doing anything at all for the last 3 years and standing around, making excuses for not working, the business was still afloat, making maybe $2000 a month in revenue, just enough to keep it alive.Everything began to change around the end of this last December. Him and I sat down and decided that we were absolutely stupid for not taking advantage of the potential the business had. We made a plan to start growing it again, and we have followed through on it. From having $867 in the company account in December, we have hit 20k in monthly revenue for February and are on track to hit 26k or so for March.Here's how we did it:Schedule, schedule, schedule...When you start a business, it is so easy and tempting to say, "I don't want to do anything with it today..." or the more dangerous one, "I can take the day off if I want to..." Sorry, but no you can't. This business became my full time job overnight, and became my lifelong obsession now. Monday through Friday, I am there every single day from 7AM till 6PM. No exceptions. I have realized that there is ALWAYS work to be done. I started by cleaning the shop and reorganizing parts and tools. WOW! Once that was done, it felt so good to see it clean, I got inspired and we tackled the overdue paperwork next. Sure, if I didn't show up, I wouldn't get fired. I didn't have to call in. It's my business. Nobody is going to hold me accountable for not showing up and putting in the effort. At the end of the day, the only person I screwed in that situation was myself. When you schedule dedicated time for your business and follow through with it as if your life depended on it, your business will grow.Fuck motivation, learn discipline.Motivation is easy to get. Read some quotes online, head over to /r/GetMotivated. It's all good stuff, don't get me wrong, but what happens when your motivation is gone? The work still has to be done, so because you're not feeling "motivated", you aren't going to do it? Screw that. Successful people have discipline. They have trained themselves to do what has to be done, when it has to be done, whether or not they want to do it. This is YOUR business. Nobody is going to come do it for you. Stop talking about it, just do it.Build good relations with the people who sign your paychecks: your customers.I hung up a giant white board in my office, and at the end of every day, I go write on that board any and all customers I have to call or communicate with the following day. When I come in the next morning, customer service is my FIRST priority. Respond to customer emails, call them back, take care of them, because they really should be your first priority as well. Remember, you don't sign your paycheck. Your customers do. And if you take care of them and treat them like gold, you will have the best thing a company could ever have: a deeply loyal customer base. This will do two things: 1. Make sure you always have work, sales, etc. even if a competitor is cheaper, your customers will still continue to use you because they bought more than an item or a service, they bought satisfaction with where their money went and the experience that came with it. 2. The BEST form of advertising (at least I think so), is referrals. Word of mouth is how we built this business. It's free, it works incredibly well, and it's a compliment to you and your hard work. Give your customers an experience that's so good, they will want to talk about it. Because they will, and you will have even more loyal customers. "Be so good, they can't ignore you."Start small, go big.To get into the swing of working every day consistently and really adapting to the business, I started by cleaning the shop and organizing things. I put in my headphones and worked. It wasn't getting more jobs in, it wasn't invoicing, it was something small at the time, but it was SOMETHING. I was there doing something productive. After doing that, it became easier and easier to do more and more and to enjoy it. Then, after we got our new company shirts in the mail, we started going to local churches, businesses, and existing customers, and drummed up business. "I'm confident that we could have your sound system sounding better than it's ever sounded before if you're willing to give us 1 hour with it. It's free of charge to you no matter what, we just ask that you keep us in mind for the future if you like what you hear when we're done." Worked wonders. Things started taking off.Stay on top of the paperwork. SERIOUSLY.That shit piles up quick. And it's so important that bills get paid, you send your invoices out on time, etc. It will screw you over sooooo hard if you don't stay up on your taxes, bills, payments, and written communications with customers. I know paperwork isn't "fun", but it's necessary. It's required of you and business to operate legally. Don't get behind on paperwork.Choose your personal acquaintances carefully.As Zig Ziglar says, "You can't fly with the eagles if you continue to scratch with the turkeys." If you want to be successful and responsible, then spend time with those who are that way. If you want to be wealthy, spend some time with some wealthy people. If you want to be a business owner, spend some time hanging out with other business owners. You are who you hang out with. Not saying you can't keep old friends and still have fun with them and whatnot, but seriously, time is more valuable than anything. Spend it wisely with people who have similar goals and aspirations to your own.Take care of yourself."Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise." I noticed a huge difference in my ability to work happily and efficiently at my business when I ate a proper healthy diet, went to bed every night by 10PM, and woke up at 6AM. I used a sleep cycle alarm, so I'd be woken up at my lightest sleep. I started exercising again and even quit smoking. The difference it made was unreal. Over a few weeks, I began to feel so much more positive, upbeat, and like I could take on the world. I'd walk into work drinking my coffee, feeling like I had just popped two adderall in the parking lot. I know that a lot of you work full time jobs elsewhere and are building your business in your time that you're not at work, so you're probably very stretched for time and are somewhat stressed, but I cannot emphasize this one enough. Take care of yourself.TL;DR:Sorry for the long post, but I figured I'd share what I've learned with you all... if I had done this back in 2013 when the business was started, I would have a few employees and would be making 6 figures easily. Don't waste the time like I did. Make it happen. Now. Now is the time and if I can do it, you can do it. Give your business the attention that it deserves and it will take care of you. It's not always easy, and sometimes you'll want to skip a day or take a break for a while, but remember, nobody ever became a millionaire by working nine to five. You will get out of it what you put into it. Now, go be the badass motherf****r that you are and build something great, because "If you don't build your own dream, then someone else will hire you to help them build theirs." Take care.