#i should get motivated to solve this mess but fuk I can;t when realizing stuff

[dopepoisonivyoncrack]

So I've been told that for the theoretical part of the thesis I must write a synthesis of the scientific literature 'from Jesus Christ to present day', encompassing all that is known about the plant and relevant to my study, and was shown as an example a thesis on 1 species, that didn't had much info available when it was written.

I did just that, a synthesis of scientific literature from the first mentions to present day.... for each of the 4 species in my study. As one can imagine, the length of that theoretical part is now 4x times the length of a regular thesis. It also took 4x times longer to write, especially since I wasn't given much time and energy to work on it properly. It is also actually detailed, in comparison to what I now see in other similar theses.

It was brought to my attention that I foolishly worked myself to death against all odds, to meet an idealistic objective of the theoretical part of a ph.D thesis, while everyone else just writes a relative junk paper of a bit over 100 pages at most to get it over with and receive the title.

What is worse, is that my collaborators didn't do their part according to my research plan and now my results barely meet half of my research objectives. I fear that in the end, I can't even be proud of the end material. Idk what I want more, to kill myself or the people that lied to me, drained me with stupid tasks and couldn't give less of a crap about me, and now dare to blame me for not "knowing my priorities" , accuse me of procrastination and incompetence a.s.o.

Research can't be done alone, but christ alive if one can trust people in this world or even be left to work in peace