#i should be writing kinktober stuff but my brains broken so have this!

[divine-misfortune]

Phantom getting on T and having the most sensitive Tdick that he can't help but rut against his pillows and whine because he's so horny but so sensitive the only thing that gives him relief that isn't overstimulating is rolling his hips against his nice plush pillows

Phantom's sure he's tried it all. Toys, fingers, other people's fingers, mouths...All of it is too much, too overwhelming. Enough that he's wincing and jerking away at the first, slightest touch. Just being bent over and fucked into is enough to make him writhe sometimes. His partner's heavy balls slapping against skin, so much as brushing his clit in the motion, can draw a good yelp out of him. Direct stimulation more often than not wrings a few tears from his eyes, and yes there are days where he'll let Swiss hold his legs apart and lavish his dick with fleeting kitten licks till he's outright weeping, but that's not something he wants daily.

It's frustrating.

His body is wracked with these hormones that want nothing more than to be satiated. Phantom wants that too. He does, he wants to ease away the ache in his belly long enough to feel like a damn person instead of rolling around in his bed all day helplessly squeezing his thighs together. Everything has him worked up, a stiff breeze can get him dripping in his boxers if he's not careful. Hell, even the seam of his jeans shifting a certain way can send all his blood rushing south. No better than some horny teenager.

But he finds it on accident.

Shifting restlessly in his bunk, too aware of the sweltering heat of June - even with the air conditioner on, he was surely burning up. A warmth that stretched to every inch of his body. Tangled in his sheets from the hours of tossing and turning, Phantom once again tried to roll over and face the wall but the bedding twisted between his legs. Bunched between his thighs, the slightest bit of pressure, in sight of the line of too much but far away from not enough. He can't help but chase the feeling with tentative rolls of his hips, and while the sensation is bliss, it lacked. A balled up pile of sheets squished between his legs, the angle isn't what he needs. It shifts too much with him, not stable enough to find a pace.

His arms wrap tighter around his pillow, a low sound of annoyance blooming in him but it doesn't make it to the surface. He paused, breathing shakily as he gave his pillow a little experimental squish.

Phantom fumbled in the tight space, only knocking his head into the bunk above him once. He could feel his dick twitching impatiently as he tried to rearrange himself, yearning for that little bit of delicious friction again.

He surely looked pitiful, straddling his pillow and trying to hide his face in his mattress. Hips arched, shirt hiked up over his chest, rocking his weight back onto his knees like he was riding cock. One hand was occupied covering his mouth - smothering his breathing as it grew heavier, the other pinching and plucking at his nipples. Phantom felt his sleep shorts growing slicker and slicker steadily, starting to soak through the fabric and onto his pillow the longer he humped against it. He knew his shameful scent would cling to the damn thing for days and the thought made his mouth water in some strange way.

He doesn't last long, Phantom had no intentions of making anything last. Relief was there and he was focused on chasing it.

His hips stuttered, frantic movements all but cut short in an instant. Nails digging into his cheek, he cums with a barely muffled sob that Phantom prayed nobody was awake to hear. Sweat beading at his brow, legs shaking, he collapsed boneless onto his side.

Heavy eyed, he breathed a laugh and pulled the pillow back between his thighs. Too tired to hump against it any further, he revels in the pressure of it snug against his cunt as sleep finally draws him in.

[maryellencarter]

Yay laptop! *type type type*

So I reblogged this meme a bit ago as a reminder to answer all the questions for Wes when I had time. Technically I’m procrastinating on a writing thing, but I’m stuck on that one, so. ^_^

1) Something this character is truly proud of. -- You know, this one is kind of tricky, because as much as Wes acts like a blowhard, he doesn’t actually brag on his achievements very much. His looks, sure. Other people’s achievements, absolutely. But he projects that “not a badass” image about himself. I think he’s definitely proud of the morale officer stuff, though, especially when he manages to get Wedge or Tycho or Hobbie out of a funk.

2) Who they want to please the most. -- Oh, Wedge, forever. That causes some tension in his friendship with Hobbie every so often, because Wes will always put Wedge first. It’s awkward when your wingman knows he’s your second priority. *hugs them* That’s like, the motivating factor of at least two different unwritten/unpublished stories I’m involved with right now, probably more.

3) Who depends on them. -- More people than think they do. The Rogues, the Wraiths, probably most of the Rebellion back in the day. Wes downplays just how much of the emotional grunt work he does on keeping the rest of these idiots functional, as well as how much of the paperwork load he carries. Wedge and Hobbie both know they depend on him, that’s the people who really matter.

4) What they would do if they had one month to live. -- This is an interesting one, because Wes already lives on the basic principle of “eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may die”. If he knew for a fact that he *wasn’t* going to die for a whole month... well, it depends. If he was invulnerable for that month, like absolutely unable to die ahead of time, he’d definitely go full Hamster Princess and like jump off cliffs and things. If it was just “you have a terminal illness”, I don’t think anything much would change, but he would get even more affectionate with his friends and also try to set things up so that they wouldn’t be absolutely lost without him, because he does do so much support work for them. If it was some kind of “I’m a time traveler from the future, you die in thirty days, this is absolutely necessary to preserve the timeline / save your friends from some horrible catastrophe, but we know you didn’t die till then”, and somehow telling him that doesn’t Schrodinger the timeline already (which it would)... um. This sentence got more complicated than I anticipated.

If he knew he was like fated to die in thirty days but not until then, but was not protected by a Hamster Princess curse spell thing, I’m not sure. What there should be is major fiddling with causality to find a timeline where he can save them without dying, but that requires roping people like Wedge and Luke into the process, and he wouldn’t. :-( Stupid idiot doesn’t think he’s worth saving. So he’d keep quiet, try to set things up to help his friends without letting them know that anything was wrong. They’d start to realize something was fishy, because they know him too damn well, and depending how angsty you wanted to get, it could wind up in a stable time loop self-fulfilling prophecy thing where he only has to die to save them because they figured out something was fishy or got in trouble trying to help him or something. The trouble with that time loop is that there’s no kriffing reason for the time-traveler to come back and tell him he’s going to die or has to die, if he did die, if things are working. *headshake* Time travel is hard.

5) A cherished personal belonging. -- Lieutenant Kettch, obviously. Yub yub, Commander.

6) Something they lost, but would love to have back -- Hmm. There’s not really much of anything for this in canon, which means I have to make something up. *ponders* Nothing occurs to me at the moment. That’s a story that somebody could write but it’d have to be the right thing (or the right person/friendship/whatever) and I don’t have one here.

7) This character’s favorite character -- Favorite character in what? GFFA media? Earthside media? Favorite person in their own source canon? I think Wes would really appreciate Jack O’Neill, although I’m not sure how Stargate SG-1 would come across in a galaxy where most planets have high levels of civilization, since it’s portraying a galaxy where most planets are pretty backward and only a few kind of patronizing alien races have anything like GFFA levels of technology. Like it’s a very different worldview. It plays specifically to Earth culture in ways that might make it very strange to a non-Earther.

8) What kind of car they would drive. -- Some kind of classic muscle car or hot-rod, probably. Tycho likes speed, Wes is all about power. “I mean a real tractor beam.”

9) What calms them when they are upset. -- Wes really, really needs to have the rest of the Fab Four around him, which is why Distna is such a renewable resource. ^_^ When he’s alone and trying to handle his own emotional shit, he likes to play brainless datapad games (that’s canon, he was playing one to keep from stressing out while he and Hobbie waited at Iella’s for Wedge and Tycho during Starfighters of Adumar) and snuggle Kettch. I also write him being fairly stimmy overall, liking certain textures and repetitive sounds and fidget toys, but that’s just me, it doesn’t have much actual basis in canon, only his general liking for swishy capes and blastswords and shit like that.

10) How they deal with pain. -- Emotional pain, he sits on it and ignores it forever. ;P Physically, he’s pretty tough, but he doesn’t do the kind of teeth-gritting silent-suffering thing I associate with like grungy alpha male types. He’ll hide that he’s injured if he needs to, if letting the others know would distract from an important or time-sensitive mission, but... like, I’m thinking of a bit in the comics, and comics characterization is always subject to being taken with more than a grain of salt, but the bit where Tycho is setting Wes’s broken leg, and Wes is making Noises and Tycho is being like “c’mon Wes you’re tougher than that”. Like Wes is fundamentally not a quiet guy, and he doesn’t have the macho wiring that makes not showing pain a matter of pride. He’ll scream if he wants to. (This holds true whether he’s injured, having sex, having fun, or just making noise for the hell of it. ^_^ At least one of my planned Kinktober pieces revolves partly around the fact that I always write Wes as being really vocal/noisy in bed.)

11) This character’s favorite piece or pieces of clothing. -- The Adumar flatscreen cape, for sure. Wedge may have managed to airlock it on the way home, since it doesn’t show up in other pieces of Legends media, but he likes that cape a lot. It’s so flashy and tacky and amazing. :D

12) How they sleep. -- This one I’ve put a lot of thought into for cuddlefic purposes. His favorite way to sleep is at the bottom of a squadron cuddle pile, being squished under people he loves, like a living weighted blanket. (Which also ties into me writing him sort of autistic/ADHD-coded, but whatevs.) He tends to sprawl all over the place, unless he’s in a bad enough emotional place that he starts going fetal position. Wes is not a person who’s ever internalized any kind of “don’t take up space” message. (Damn, always-a-girl Wes would be an interesting fucking character to write. I’m calling Not It, because that would interact with my brain issues in ways I don’t want right now, but man.)

13) What kind of parent they would be. -- I’m not going to answer this one directly, because parenthood and parenting hits a lot of my buttons in very bad ways. But turning it around to “how are they with kids”, Uncle Wes is definitely Syal and Myri’s favorite when they’re little. They can climb on him like a jungle gym, he tells the best stories, he treats them with this conspiratorial respect that makes them feel like they can conquer the world, he is the best weird uncle altogether. The very saddest thing about the Nonspecific Excuse ‘verse is that Syal and Myri missed out on that. (I have Opinions, possibly. ^_^ Seriously, though. Wedge is a good dad, and Iella is wonderful, but I strongly doubt that Myri especially would have turned out like she did without Wes’s influence.)

14) How they did in school -- This is like twenty percent canon and eighty percent headcanon. We know that Wes is good at math / statistics-type stuff and XO paperwork. He’s a lot smarter than he acts most of the time. In my own head, I actually give him the kind of memory I’ve got, photographic or eidetic or whatever we’re calling it now, except it works on numbers and people’s faces as well as just words -- so, for example, Adumar-era Wes can remember every one of the nurses in the Yavin IV medbay by name, knows which one of them was pregnant but not showing yet (and how the kid is doing now, and probably sends it birthday presents), knows most of their birthdays, doesn’t have a comprehensive knowledge of which ones have died since but knows some of them.

This doesn’t have a lot of support in canon, but it does have a little: Wes gives Wedge that little dossier on Ejector Darpen, and I strongly suspect he could have given the same level of brief background and analysis on any of the other surviving Yellow Aces. (Which is a royal fuckton of responsibility to have, and possibly one reason he’s a little cautious about spreading gossip around, beyond funny stories everyone remembers. Do you know what kind of trouble you can cause if you remember every unflattering thing anyone has ever said about anyone else in your presence? It’s a lot. A lot a lot a lot. I was not a fun friend to have as a teenager.)

So, um, specifically about how he did in school, there are two ways I could go: straight-A student or deliberate slacker. I mean, either way he’s the perpetually goofing-around class clown, I’m just not sure whether he’s also the teacher’s pet / kid who always knows the answers. I think I’d lean toward saying he was, though, because of the little “shill in the audience” bit he does with Wedge that one time -- that has very much the flavor to me of a kid who always made it a goal during the first week of class to get the teacher to go “Not you, I know you know it” and call on someone else, cause that’s me. ^_^

15) What cologne or perfume they would use -- I don’t honestly have enough of a sense of smell to answer this question. Personally I like sandalwood, but that’s Isard’s perfume (well, “leatherwood”), so even though Wes might independently wind up using it, I feel weird going with it. It’s like the Only One Steve rule. ;-) But Wes has a pretty vivid sense of smell -- I noticed when I was going over the “nice rear, Lieutenant” prank for something else, the descriptions of both the Ewok food and the cleaning fluid are strongly scent-oriented -- so either he’d wear something strong-smelling that he enjoyed, or something very subtle so it wouldn’t bother him, or just not wear scented stuff if it does bother him.

(God, the sheer levels of detail I get out of these books. Sometimes I feel like I’m reading way too much into these tiny little details, but it’s fun. And way more harmless than overanalyzing the Bible and Catholic religious doctrine in order to figure out The One Right Way To Act, which is what I used to do with these skills. ;S)

16) Their sexuality -- Oh, pan as hell. I personally write him as pansexual, aromantic, usually polyamorous, and pretty solidly cisgender, but that’s me. I’ve seen him written lots of different ways, but he very much appreciates pretty people of all genders, whatever exact orientation one goes with. (I don’t think I’ve ever seen him written gendervariant, but that would definitely be a possibility. Maybe I’ll come up with a story for that at some point, maybe not. And @virusq had a great suggestion for a bi/panromantic asexual Wes who flirts with everybody and is really into cuddling and pillow-talk but not sex, I don’t think anyone’s written that one yet either. *shoves it into the big pile of prompts in the middle of the table that is this fandom*)

( @tigerkat24 part of me keeps wanting to write an ace!Wes ‘verse where he’s basically James, but part of me wants to actually write those stories with James and Mort instead of Wes and Hobbie, and jesus fuck why do I have to have multiple pairings with the same dynamic. Why. :P I still don’t have an actual arc for Mort since I stopped wanting to write his original arc, either.)

(I keep going back and forth on whether to put my Mort/James stories from Rainbowfic onto AO3. Like they’re “original fiction written in a fannish context” for sure, but they’re also kind of scattershot and rather ancient, and... blergh. idk. Writing is hard.)

17) What they’d sing at karaoke -- This is again difficult because GFFA media. Earthside AU Wes, though, I’m definitely thinking the kind of bouncy catchy... do they call it “bubblegum pop”? Songs like “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”, “All the Single Ladies”, those very girly-coded danceable songs, just belting them out without a hint of irony, dancing and shaking his butt and having a grand old time. (You know Wes has at least acceptable dance moves. ^_^) One of the things I really especially enjoy about Wes is that he doesn’t have the toxic masculinity shit that a lot of flirtatious male characters are coded with. He would definitely be a drag queen in any context where that was an option, you know? It’s nice to have a character I read as cis male but who doesn’t have any gender panic about enjoying the girly shit. There aren’t enough of those.

18) Special talents they have -- Well. There’s the killing people. ;P I mean, that really is the main one. He doesn’t have much in the way of non-military life skills, and he knows it. He mostly doesn’t get super angsty about it, because he mostly doesn’t get super angsty about anything, but... y’know, even when it’s just a sentence or two, I really like those little bits where a writer comments on it, that he’s a soldier and he’s not really... prepared to be anything except a soldier. Peacetime would be so, so hard for him to adjust to, and I don’t quite have a solid story idea for that but I really want somebody to tackle it someday, whether it’s me or somebody else.

19) When they feel safest -- Underneath a cuddle pile of all his friends, definitely. If he knows they’re safe, then he’s safe. You know? They have each other’s backs. He’s not really functional as a single person, he’s part of a unit. It’s not super healthy, but god I miss it :P

20) Household chore they hate the most -- Hmm. See, this one requires figuring out what chores Rebel/NR pilots even do, other than KP duty. (I feel like having Wes constantly on KP is kind of cliched; the only person we actually see get KP in the books is Face. So I like to try and come up with other shit. But there’s not a lot of chores that pilots actually do. They have laundry droids and shit for most of it.)

Earthside modern AU, though... hmm. The thing is, I’ve got chores I love and hate, but those are formed by my specific childhood history, which is deeply complicated. Wes specifically... I’m not sure we have enough data. Does he enjoy cooking? Does he have sensory issues? Does he find laundry boring? (I always liked laundry because the laundry room was in the basement away from all the yelling. Wes probably prefers chores that can be done in the middle of a bunch of people, because they’re not yelling at him. ;P Any discussion of household chores really runs into my issues, I guess.)

He probably doesn’t enjoy mopping or scrubbing things down, because we know he dislikes the scent of space Lysol, it’s too strong and sharp. See, if I talk long enough I can always come up with something I can tie back to canon. ^_^

21) Their fondest childhood memory -- Hmm. That’s a difficult one. We really have no data on Wes’s childhood, other than that Taanab is an agri-world and therefore he’s probably by some definition a farmboy. The rest is all speculation. Personally, when I need him to have a family, I borrow the one @irenkaferalkitty invented, because they’re adorable and ridiculous and I love them. So, basic US-Midwest-ish farming setting, working-class family, six kids, Wes is the oldest. (His dad is an autistic ex-Jedi and his mom is amazeballs. She’s like if Wes had never gone into the military. I love her.) But I still don’t have much specific in the way of childhood memories.

22) How they spend their money. -- Well, with the NR providing clothes and housing and all those basic necessities, I figure Wes basically just buys kids’ toys and lets the rest of his money sit. (Hobbie, who comes from a banking world, is absolutely horrified by Wes’s complete lack of financial acumen and summarily invests most of his money for him. So by the time he retires the first time, after the peace treaty with the Empire in 19 ABY, he’s... maybe not necessarily rich, but definitely well-off. He can afford to travel a bit, buy a farm on Taanab, that sort of thing. I’m seeing a vintage Y-wing on blocks in the yard, because I’m from Indiana and everybody has a hot rod and/or a couple of hangar queens up on blocks. ... @shadesofmauve, you have Corrupted me, look at all this space slang in my writing. ^_^) I have one story just about finished and waiting for a potential Kinktober, where Wes and Hobbie’s farm has a custom-built swimming pool for Hobbie, with a hot tub for both of them and a waterslide for Wes. I mean, the waterslide doesn’t come into the story, but it’s there. XD

23) What kind of alcohol they drink -- I feel like I answered this before at some point. @camshaft22 and I have some pretty detailed headcanons about Wes and Hobbie and alcohol, because we needed them for Afterimage. So in canon, pretty much everyone drinks one of a few things: lum, lomin-ale, Elba beer, Whyren’s Reserve (which is usually a high-class Corellian brandy but depending on the author can morph into a whiskey, become lower-class, etc). We know Wes likes Whyren’s, because Wedge gives him a shot glass of it as a sort of apology after the “nice rear, Lieutenant” prank. It’s described as having a “rich, smoky flavor”, so I figure in general he’d like whisky-type drinks with that kind of peaty or smoky flavor to them. (Coincidentally, whisky is basically the only booze I don’t find undrinkably disgusting. There’s supposedly a gene that makes vodka and some other drinks taste horrible; I’ve definitely got something going on on that front, because even the tiniest sip of vodka causes me to splutter and make horrible faces. It’s not the higher proof, that just tastes more like Listerine, it’s something else I can’t describe. Maybe it’s bitterness, Google’s bringing up articles about a supertasting bitterness gene.)

Um. That paragraph got away from me a little. Basically, Wes likes whisky and brandy best, but will happily drink pretty much anything.

24) What they wish they could change about themselves -- Now there’s a question. Wes seems mostly pretty happy with himself. There are things in his history he’d like to change, but as far as who he is, physically and mentally and emotionally, he’s pretty chill with himself.

25) What other people wish they could change about them -- Hah. Depends whom you ask. His close friends wouldn’t change a damn thing. Some other people wish he’d just stop being Wes altogether. It’s a rich tapestry. ^_^ There are a lot of people who fall somewhere in the middle, like if he’d just be a little more serious or a little less obnoxious or at least go be himself somewhere else, but most of those are post-Endor. The remaining pre-Endor Rebels in the service, especially the ones who remember Hoth and Yavin, appreciate Wes exactly as he is, because when you’re stuck on a goddamn iceball for a year, a big huggy guy made of warms who always has a joke or a prank or a game idea or a magic trick to cheer you up and break the monotony is priceless.

(In universes where Wes disappears long-term and is presumed to have committed suicide at some point after Distna -- Nonspecific Excuse is one, there’s another one I might do something with someday when I’m stable -- I always kind of think about the general reaction among Rebellion survivors who maybe hadn’t seen him since Hoth. I imagine it’s like hearing Robin Williams killed himself, like there’s that shock of... *tries to word* You know. It feels wrong, that somebody they remember as this perpetually sunshiny presence in a long dark endless winter, somebody who brought so much joy and love of life to everyone around him, could get stuck in such a dark place. That he helped them and there was nobody to help him when he needed it. Like, I mean, depression is a terminal illness, we all know that, but -- like, if he’d died in combat, that’s one thing, but... *words* Like, if he died in combat, that’s sad, but he was still him. For that joy to go out first and cause his death, that hurts more, in a different way. Am I making any sense?)