#i see you and i appreciate you immensely
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
just a small appreciation post to people that reblog my art & talk in the tags
i hope you guys know it really makes my day to read them
#and the people in my inbox#i see you and i appreciate you immensely#im just not good at responding to compliments you’ll have to forgive me#i prefer responding to hcs and casual ideas instead so feel free to drop some of those in my inbox#especially if it has anything to do with akane or kazuichi or gundham or hajime#or ibuki or mahiru#or the rest of the dr2 cast too i just cant list them all#by the rest of the dr2 cast i mean including the four dark devas of destruction#okay i lied#i meant specifically the four dark devas of destruction#i love them#wish hamsters were real
77 notes
·
View notes
Text
Palestinian Fundraiser Donation Match! 🕊️🇵🇸
I decided to use a recent payment I received for an illustration to donate to every Palestinian who reached out to me this past week. Please share this list, and if you are able, pick at least one donation to match me! Many small donations can go a long way which is why I took the time to put together this post. (date: August 11)
@esraayyad14 | vetted here | match my €5 donation
@mohiy-gaza | vetted here | match my $5 donation
@azaxa | vetted here | match my €5 donation
@abedallhferwanagaza | vetted here (#60) | match my €5 donation
@mahmoud0hilles | vetted here (#198) | match my €5 donation
@noorabd1992 | vetted here | match my $5 donation
@ayaalanqarsblog | vetted here | match my €5 donation
@ahmedalnabeeh11 | vetted here (#218) | match my €5 donation
@ehabayyad23 | Bilal Salah shared this post | match my €5 donation
@emanfamily81 | vetted here | match my €5 donation
@samarsh97 | vetted here | match my €5 donation
@mayadayyad81 | vetted here twice (#144) | match my $5 donation
@bisanalbalawi18 | vetted here | match my €5 donation
@malakabed | vetted here | match my €5 donation
@abdelmutei | vetted here | match my €5 donation
@lailashaqoura | vetted here (#152) | match my €5 donation
@fedao | vetted here | match my $5 donation
@motaz225 | vetted here | match my $5 (~$53 SEK) donation
@free-gaza2 | vetted here | match my $5 donation
@ahmadresh | vetted here | match my $5 donation
@falestine-yousef | vetted here and clarified here | match my $5 donation
#this last one for falestine had some confusion previously over whether the fund was stealing images from other fund posts but it is legit!#falestine is a sibling of the doaa family#since these are all links I grabbed from when I donated I do see if you click on them and donate and I appreciate it immensely!#I don’t check who it is usually but I appreciate that you take me up on donation matching 🫶#reminder that I also run donation charity commissions so if you follow me you will see how your donation in August can count towards#a future round of commissions when I make a post about waitlist and commission rounds soon!
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
LILACS BY THE SEA a music collection curated for @cordiallyfuturedwight Lilacs (Kayla) Playlist • Sea (Seokjin) Playlist song notes
cr. mahoneysuga, rawpixel, bts-trans, Diana Zviedrienė
#btsgif#btsedit#btsgfx#bangtan#bts#kim seokjin#usergif#gfx#tuserandi#usersan#userines#userkelli#usersky#tuseral#underbetelgeuse#usersevn#userzaynab#*sj#*gfx#*gifs#one day late :(#again - happy belated birthday my darling angel baby kayla#I really wish you nothing but happiness and joy and health and great memories and many smiles and of course LOVE LOVE LOVE#you're irreplaceable darling and I hope we all were able to show you how immensely appreciated admired and adored you are (triple a!)#this set here wouldn't have been created without 15 wonderful people (you can see who by clicking the 'song notes' link)#who love you so dearly and sent me songs for this little music collection#we all know what music means to you so this just felt Right. this is you! this is your essence!#I hope that when you listen to the two playlists you will be reminded of how many people you positively impact on the daily#we love you so much
473 notes
·
View notes
Text
50% of all revenue for my store, starting now, will be donated to CareforGaza and the PCRF.
[ PURCHASE MY ANTHOLOGIES HERE ]
hi there! i'm lindi. you may have seen some of my comics floating around in the past year or so.
if you’ve ever liked my stories and wanted to purchase a copy of one of my anthologies, I invite you to do so now. This policy will be in place indefinitely, and the list of charities/organisations may be subject to change depending on their effectiveness. Currently, the focus is on providing aid and food to the innocent Palestinians in Gaza, but in the future I hope to increase the scope to tangibly support the queer community and help fund independent artists in Australia.
below, I'll list a few resources for people who'd like to directly donate at the source:
credible organisations that are doing work on the ground in Palestine:
Care for Gaza:non-profit charity that distributes money, food and other resources directly to families in Gaza.They maintain a regular presence on Twitter and Instagram. You can donate to them via Paypal here.
PCRF / Palestine Children's Relief Fund: non-profit organisation that distributes essential food and resources to families in Gaza. Most recently, they delivered 30 tons of vital medicine, and 82,000 pounds of flour.
Medical Aid For Palestinians: deploys medical teams to treat Palestinians suffering under Israel's malicious bombardments.
help people leave palestine (donate what you can)
Save Sanaa and her Family (Gofundme)
Save Amjad Saher and his family (Gofundme)
Help a family of 13 escape Gaza (Gofundme)
Help a Palestinian children's book illustrator save her family of 12 (Gofundme)
#disclaimer: I do want to say that I'm also regularly donating a significant portion of my own personal funds and have been for a while#however I think these additional donations will make all the difference.#just donating alone isnt gonna stop the genocide happening in gaza but im trying to put my money where my mouth is#thank you all in advance for your generosity#i appreciate the audience ive cultivated here immensely#and if nothing else i hope this weeds out the trash that mightve lingered here. somehow.#dont dare try separate the art from the artist with me.#everything ive ever made and will ever make stands with palestine from now until it sees its liberation#free palestine#palestine
356 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ok time for my big Hadestown hot take and that’s that West End Hadestown doesn’t give you a 100% Hadestown experience. It’s still ridiculously good and 100% worth seeing, don’t get me wrong (I used my opportunity and saw it twice and will likely see it again if I’m in London), but it kinda made me realise a couple of things about OBC production that will always be my Roman Empire and make me deeply upset Broadway is too greedy to give us an OBC proshot.
So, here are some of my thoughts and reflections based on seeing Hadestown live on West End + seeing different versions (including London National theatre proshot) in boots. I think you can pretty solidly say that in Hadestown there are 2 main stories: Orpheus/Eurydice and Hades/Persephone. And even though arguably Orphedice is the main most important story, it my opinion it also wins from Hadesphone story being strong. Which works perfectly in OBC due to Amber Gray and Patrick Page delivering a very deep nuanced performances as their characters.
I think part of the success of Hadestown when it works on its fullest is how it creates a very deep emotional journey. And I feel that regardless which pair of Orpheus and Eurydice you have (if we take Broadway/tour/West End take on the characters) it’ll still work! Like you need to try really hard to mess up orphedice the way people wouldn’t root for Orpheus or wouldn’t empathise with Eurydice because they are so relatable and cute. You instantly love them, they are so so lovable. So orphedice part is one thing in Hadestown that imo works if not always then in 99% of the cases.
Hades and Persephone’s part of the story in the contrary is VERY hard to nail on 100%, in my opinion, and this is literally driving me crazy. Maybe seeing Amber Gray and Patrick page in professional recording awoken some feelings in me, I don’t know. I will state straight away that I also do enjoy other actors’ takes on characters and I do see some very interesting character moments there and there. However, I keep returning to the thought that Amber/Patrick’s characterisation works SO WELL for the main narrative. I’ll try to explain why I think so. Consider it my love letter to the OBC.
First and foremost, I feel like Hadesphone story has a very fine dynamic that the actors have to nail, so you would feel that: 1) these two still love each other; 2) these two are buried under their problems and see no way out, only a miracle (aka Orpheus and his song) can save their marriage.
And if the first one usually works at least due to Epic 3, the second one, imo, often (at least partially) falls victim to acting/directing choices which can cause troubles with point 1 as well. I think one big thing I’ve noticed is that often Persephone’s alcoholism gets forgotten in the acting performance. Like yeah sure her choreography includes drinking from a flask but in comparison to Amber you never get a feeling that she is absolutely wasted. Which, is in my opinion something that you should feel when you’re watching the show and something I was constantly forgetting about when I was watching the show on West End. I feel in Amber’s performance you can constantly see that her Persephone’s feel good attitude is a façade of a broken person who knows that her marriage is going to hell in front of her eyes yet she is too passive and hopeless to try to make an active change (well, she does try in Chant and nothing happens), so her only way is to chase the sense of normality that the “medicine” gives her. But when she is alone, if you get to catch a moment when people are not looking at her, you can see a deep sadness under her positive front and her memory of the old days when everything was more simple. Nevertheless, the main point that the lyrics literally say is that Persephone is blinded by the river of wine. And this is crucial to her character and her relationship with Hades because the story states that even though Hades is a problem and he is an active actor in creating more problems, he is not the only failure in this relationship. Persephone needs to be woken up from her apathy almost as much as Hades does and this is something that we see during If It’s True.
From Hades’ side I feel like it’s not a good decision to make him a total villain because when he is irredeemable you don’t feel like the whole “song that will fix the world” has any chance of working long term. I think Patrick nailed a deep antagonist very well. His Hades is weird and lowkey creepy and alien. He does objectively bad things but when you look at him you can’t stop thinking that he doesn’t operate in regular human logic or morality. When I look at him in Chant, it feels to me that his words about building stuff to impress Persephone are absolutely sincere, and I can absolutely see that his Hades doesn’t understand why she is so upset about it when his intentions are so so clear. Maybe it’s my vision but even before Epic 3 when he is so far gone and buried in his projects and messed up ideas I don’t have a single doubt that Persephone is a single motivator and goal of Patrick Hades’ life and that he literally doesn’t need any other being to care about. And tragically this fixation is what makes him blind to all other things he does even if those things ruin Persephone’s life (and other people’s but tbh I don’t think he cares).
I feel like by removing Persephone’s Chant 2 verse Hadestown created more problems for Hades and Persephone part of the story making it a much harder job for the actors to prove to the audience that Hades and Persephone have a chance to make their relationship work. Like I get that maybe it was a necessary things to do (even though I think the show is much better with it) but it made it so much harder to empathise with this particular part of the story unless the actors use the choices that work in the narrative. Because for example when I was watching the show on West End part of me was wondering “what is Persephone’s deal in all of that, what does she win by staying with Hades?” With the verse, and with Broadway Previews or London 2018 in particular this part was clear: Persephone still loves Hades and believes that he has the opportunity to change and become a better man he used to be. Without the verse, however, the actors should give you the same idea during the show which is a hard task considering Hades and Persephone have only 2 big conversations together (Chant and How Long). So apart from those songs there are only subtle mostly silent moments they get together through which the actors have to convey the same thought which is hella difficult and probably hardly will be appreciated by anyone apart from the people who sit closely.
So, maybe because in the actor combo I saw (Zachary and Lauren), I got a feeling that even though they were great separately, I didn’t feel much chemistry between them as a pair. I think, Persephone seemed pissed and tired of Hades all the time until How Long and I didn’t feel that she still believes in his willingness to change. And Zach Hades despite being entertaining, kinda gives the impression of Hades who has other options, he is not into Persephone enough. The only sparkle appears between the two in Epic III which is still cute but I’m not sure if it works just as well if that’s the first time you see the show? Also considering Zach Hades gives more malicious intent in His Kiss, The Riot it seems that he is not even slightly interested in Orpheus having any opportunity to succeed with his quest. Which is not bad, don’t get me wrong! But in comparison to Patrick who is deeply self projecting into Orpheus to the point where you could see that even though he doesn’t want to let him go, part of him does because it would prove he too could succeed in his challenge of waiting for Persephone, this take seems a bit lacking. And overall because of His Kiss, their promise in Wait For Me doesn’t seem as giving much hope that the story won’t repeat itself next Sunday. Which in its turn makes Orpheus’ sacrifice feel a bit… worthless. If on Broadway, when Orpheus turns, but spring comes again you feel like it is the start of something new: hopefully a kinder and softer time. On West End the show also wants you to feel it but when you think about Hades and Persephone you feel…less certainty that this sacrifice will have a long term effect?
I guess the creators wanted to concentrate on Orpheus and Eurydice more and forget about Hades and Persephone by making them more secondary story or maybe there was a lack of director’s involvement to give the cast some hints on how to make this particular part of the story work better, but it feels to me that in its current state the show works in its 85% power which is still great but once you know there is something missing you can’t stop thinking about it and wishing the show would give you those 15% you crave.
#me being me#hadestown#thanks for coming to my ted talk#I still immensely enjoyed the production and would come see it again#but when you know the show at its fullest you seem to miss some parts that worked better#also I was able to appreciate the same cast from different angles the second time I could see them from the first row so I could#get a clear view of their acting#and don’t get me wrong Zach and Lauren are really interesting to watch and I liked them#but also I started thinking if it was my first time to watch the show would I understand the appeal of Hades/Persephone line?#and I can’t stop thinking about it#hades#Persephone#hadestown broadway#hadestown west end#it’s also not about WE only but just about some characterisations I saw from different actors in different productions#I just felt like it would be fair to compare to the production and cast I saw life because obviously bootlegs even the greatest are not#the same#thanks for reading this long post
93 notes
·
View notes
Text
Some of my favourite out of context sfth ao3 tags because these are so funny (also all of these are from different fics)
Disclaimer that these aren’t mine :)
#if you’re not in the sfth fandom and you see this just… dont worry about the nazi tags okay 😭#Actually just don’t worry about any of them lol 😭#It’s all a long story#sfthposting#shoot from the hip#I know at least one of my sfth moots wrote one of these (hi you’re hilarious) but I’d bet there’s more#If this is weird (weird in a socially rude way to post someone else’s tags) then let me know because idk how to people and I’m sorry#I hope this is okay#i just find these funny lol#The funny things I find while combing through the tag double checking if my list is complete (it is! and being updated all the time!)#Thank you fanfic authors you’re both amazing for the fanfiction and hilarious for the tags#Even just regularly tagging things for sfth fics is funny cause it’s so chaotic#I haven’t read every sfth fanfic (yet) but I still appreciate them immensely
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hello just a lil msg for anyone who has wanted to donate to the 911actions prompt fills but isn’t in the financial position to do so or can’t participate for any other reasons. I’ve got some spare prompts to be filled and my brain is mush with no ideas so I wanna share the love. If there’s something that you have been eager to have written or drawn, send me a dm and I’ll submit the prompt for you ❤️
#i think i’ve got like 10ish extra ??#i’m not sure waiting for an admin to let me know#also hello hi i’m mostly not here atm#my job is TOO much 🫣#june hiatus is real#i see all your tags and appreciate them immensely#sorry i can’t participate but im always keen to see what y’all are working on#miss you all <3#d stuff
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fuck this entire week oh my fucking godddd. This felt like a little trial. Hurdles to get through the last of Busy Season for the year.
This week:
I shut down my store's entire IT system while being guided through a troubleshoot and it took ~45 minutes to fix it
Rolled + landed on my ankle on my walk to work on Halloween. Had to limp into work.
On Halloween I also had to kick out an intoxicated dude on a bike who tried to serve himself water out of a crushed, grimy to-go cup by leaning his entire body over the bar after going to the registers to ask ME for a cup of water. Left after telling me he has two no-trespassing orders from my store.
Had to hobble my way home because I had no way of getting a ride because my city closes down half the streets for Halloween.
Worked through my bruised and busted up ankle for ~3 days while another coworker called out to. Probably catch up on school work.
Nearly cried at work like. Several. Times. Partially from overwhelm and confusion and now partially from pain.
Watched my boss feel immensely bad after seeing My Ouchie and then went home. (<- only for my fiancé to come in to pick me up and then when I wasn't there, tell my boss and coworker that I should have called out today which is. Correct.)
Now I'm really just sitting with my injured leg Up High and On Ice
I got to see some fireworks, dress up as Will Graham, my coworker gave me the last of her cigarettes, and I got to post fic though so. Not all bad. I guess.
#also dealt with so many people upset I didn't have Bathrooms/Chairs/Tables and wasn't in control of the city meters#guhhhhhhh I hate busy season#people are so needy I can't actually do anything or talk to anyone. my boss is at her worst.#I can't wait to do nothing but elevate my leg and then ice + heat it on and off. for like. three days.#all this to tell myself that I could probably do with some fucking cheering up#the sudden transition of feeling immensely overworked and under appreciated at work to injuring myself in a really visible way#and working thru it to the others' horror is. something. it's not good. but it's something.#it's what happens when you go through life being doubted about your illnesses/pains/etc.#you develop a higher pain tolerance (imo) and those people trust you less so you hide it and work through it.#and then normal people eventually see what you can Work Through and go 'holy shit hey don't fucking do that. why would you do that.'#why because every time I was in pain it was 'sure you are' until I just got good at working through the pain. simple as.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I made these tweets back in early January and guess what motherfuckers
I WAS FUCKING RIGHT
#devil may cry#get on my fucking level nobody gets dmc like I do#capcom hire me for real I understand the vibes perfectly#yes I have the artbook finally and have been going through all the commentary#also lmao they made parodies of The Sun and Daily Mirror newspapers#even down to the fonts and red backgrounds#I see you capcom and I appreciate it immensely
232 notes
·
View notes
Note
!!!! Your drawings are always so cool!!! Your art style is so fun, it works with more serious things and goofy stuff. As always, great John design but I think your Arthur isnt complimented enough. he's very cool
Also THANK YOU for starting the petting your John thing it has brought so much joy into my life.
Your art always makes me smile !!! <3
This isn't even an ask Imao, more just fanmail !!
THANK YOU DUDE YOU MADE MY DAY!!!
#szgsksgs i try to keep it balanced but its so nice to know my style works for both (¡¡#AND HONESTLY THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR LETTING ME SEE YOUR JOHN DESIGNS#BUT REALLY THIS MADE MY DAY I IMMENSELY APPRECIATE IT#ask
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
oh by far the funniest part about the amingus breast feeding account is it’s definitely run by a polygon poster , likely a mutual
Lmao that makes a lot of sense. I also love the idea of running that account and following a lot of polygon blogs, and the day one of them posts about breastfeeding is your day to Strike
For context, nora's talking about this post
#ask#blorb0#aside from the fact that they rb from a lot of polygon blogs I vaguely remember seeing them in my activity before#anyway whoever that is I Appreciate you immensely peace and love on planet earth
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
I want someone to love me quietly and loudly at the same time because Im an idiot
#mine#words#human#love#someone unashamed of loving me#someone free to love me and choose me#someone who loves me with every blink#a love radiating from them surrounding me like a blanket making sure i feel it because im an idiot#because im an idiot#clown#feelings#thoughts#love comes in many forms and i dont want this to be romantic only#my friends are loving me openly and casually w lil care packages and notes for me with videos they send me with “ill sit w you”s &“i listen#with “your feelings are valid” “youre being hard to yourself so im being even softer” with “hey do you wanna play sth”#with “wanna body double” and “i rmb you like this” “have you eaten yet” “can i give you a hug”#with “my treat this time” and “can i come visit you” with “missing you” and “we share this part of life”#with “hey this reminded me of you” and “i dont need this but i thought you could” with “what have you been up to” and#with “do you wanna go there together” and “im getting [food/drink] you want some as well?”#with “i can pretend to be your waifu and help with chores” and “lets cook together” with “lets go on a walk together”#with “tell me when youre home” with “take care” and “enjoy!” with “hows your day been” “howd you sleep”#with “tell me about your dream last night” “show me your outfit” with “how are you” and “i can explain it to you again” with “i'll wait”#with “nice to hear from you again” and “i try to understand” with “im glad a late answer is better than none from you”#with “you cannot see your own effort but i can” with “how can i help you” and “just wanted to see/hear you” with “hey take this food w you”#with “i dont mind doing that for you” with ┌|∵|┐┌|∵|┐when seeing each other on the streets#every lil whimsical every experience thought and feeling shared#im immensely loved and i hope those people know and feel how i see appreciate and love them back#i am loved already#my friends make sure that i do not accept any less love expression and im endlessly grateful for them#“i will try for you” “i'll try remind you” “i can wake you up” this all will get its own post one day
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
what’s your favorite movie score?
I had the privilege of seeing Lawrence of Arabia in an actual movie theater once - that's already a fantastic score watching it at home on a television... but in a theater? With a theater sound system?
Really, though - it was a lifetime-level experience. Cannot recommend it highly enough if you ever get the chance.
#and it's an incredible visual spectacle too!#that was actually why I wanted to see it in a theater#it is just an immense movie#but the sound was what blew me away#now I'm imagining getting to see it in IMAX#I wonder if that's even possible#*lots* of honorable mentions on this one though#The Good‚ the Bad‚ and the Ugly#The Sting#I generally think John Williams is actually overrated but 'Jurassic Park'#'Anatomy of a Murder' is an acquired taste but if you can appreciate jazz it's quite good#thank you for the question! 😊#asks#movies
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey! I was summoned by the tags you put under my post bc I also very much enjoy discussing ethics. I might make this into its own post so I'll try to not elaborate too much...
I think that I can't just decide for everyone if the difference between doing good for the sake of goodness or in order to save oneself matters, but for me, in most cases, including Dazai's case, it doesn't.
I like to believe that morality is a choice one can decide to make, and I don't think it's fair to take that away from them, regardless on how they might feel on the inside. It's a wonderful thing to act morally because it's your "natural" tendency, but I think people also have the right to do so deliberately, for a reason that they choose, without their choice being minimised. They're two different processes for sure, but if the outcome is good, then the action is a good action, and, if being moral is a choice, then I don't think I have the right to decide that only one intention or emotion that will lead there is good enough.
Also, doing good for your own sake and for the sake of others are mutually exclusive at all. One feeds the other, and if we were to put every person's actions under such scrutiny, we would ultimately run in circles.
So, for people outside the story, I would say that the debate does matter, but for the sake of the people involved, it doesn't, because the outcome is the same, especially since Dazai is so opaque as a character, and what he really feels about the things he does is so hard to read, so at the end of the day all most of them experience is his actions.
[Post this is referring to] Thank you for your elaboration, I loved hearing your opinion on the matter!!! That's close to consequentialism, isn't it? The consequences of one's actions, how much good they produced, are telling of it being morally right or wrong. I don't necessarily agree, but that's definitely a valid way to see it!!! I personally believe one's intentions are the most relevant aspect to take into account when judging whether and action is ethically rightful or not. Note that that is judging the moral of the action itself, and not giving a judgement on the person; people can have a million reasons to act selfishly, and in my very “humans are always inherently good” worldview more often than not it's caused by society rather than an actual preference to not be altruistic. But that doesn't change the fact that even a good action, if it isn't moved by good intentions, won't ever be passable of being morally right to me. Besides, then, wouldn't the other way round work to? Someone well intentioned, who's however incompetent, and ends up with their actions putting more bad in the world– as long as they're acting with a true desire to help others for the sake of it, their actions can't be considered morally wrong for me.
To clarify, with reference to your ask; I don't think people who do something for selfish reasons, and end up doing good, are morally rightful; but if they decide to do good, well, isn't that a well-intentioned aim itself? Then I think they stop being selfish to the extension that they consciously decide they're going to do good. That's not morally reprinandable at all.
Now, regarding Dazai... Honestly, I don't think Dazai is a good person. Because he never meant to do good for the sake of it. But now, the thing is, I don't think anyone in bsd is meant to be interpreted as good or evil– nobody, not Atsushi, not Mori, no one. When it comes to bsd– I do think bsd expresses a more or less nihilist worldview. And I know pretty much everyone else disagrees with me on this, I know, I'm sorry. But I do think there lies an undergoing message that good and bad are ultimately the same, and equally meaningless– it's there in Oda saying “Neither good nor evil mean much to you”, it's there in the way it makes you root for mafiosi like they were the good guys, it's there in the way Dazai never even considered to make amends for the bad things he's done (because they were never bad to begin with, because good and bad mean nothing anyway), it's there in the way it constantly shows good people doing bad and bad people doing good in a way that basically equalises them. To me there's really no point in discussing whether Dazai is good, because he is most evidently not, but that's only because he was never meant to be interpreted as such to begin with. Please refer to this post for further details; it's not surprising at all that Dazai switching over to the “good side” didn't come with a radical change of heart, and that he basically stayed the same, because how could he become good when that's no different than being evil, and those both mean nothing anyway?
And I know most people see bsd's core theme as finding a reason to live, and maybe it is, but even then I think that wouldn't be by denying its nihilism, but rather accepting it and finding a reason to live in spite of it: to me all of bsd really sums up in “that, at least, is a little more beautiful”.
#Average Tumblr user reading this post: Wow Op really doesn't get anything about bsd's message#I know it's an unpopular opinion. I'm sorry. Sometimes it happens and you're fully entitled to think my takes are terrible#osamu dazai#bsd#bsd analysis#mine#people asks me stuff#Peoples I know every time I am prompted to say something of this kind I get ten different asks elaborating on why I'm wrong‚#and I truly appreciate them– without irony‚ I do‚ I dearly cherish getting to see things from a different perspective!#I just haven't gotten around to answering them because. It's just that there's only this much hours in the day–#and although I'm sure it'd open for extremely interesting dialogues‚ there's other things I'd rather be doing than discussing over–#whether bsd as a story is good or bad– I never signed up to talk about anything that wasn't ss/kk to begin with anyways.#I hope you understand!!!!#If I ever was to finish my infinite list of planned posts you can be sure I'll get back to them asks#but in the meantime they're probably going to lie at the bottom of my inbox.#Still I do immensely appreciate people's kindness in attempting to make me see things from a different angle!!!
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Vent abt smth that gets on my Nerves
#tried bringing up to mom like. hey how could I bring up coming out to family. and she was like visibly uncomfortable so I was like dw I’m no#gonna like try to ruin Christmas with it or some shit I’m just. nervous u see. and I’m sat there anxiety rambling abt it because oh my god.#and she pulls out the fucking. ‘can’t you just be a person?’ mom I am a person already. the problem is. the PROBLEM IS. EVERYONE THINKS I AM#AND THUS TREATS ME AS A GIRL. like oh my god.#vent#it’s not a huge vent like if it comes up I’m not gonna Lie moms discomfort abt the matter be damned.#but like. ‘can’t you just be a person’ is what she says every fucking time it comes up. like mom. mother. mi madre. do you realize how much#of an insult that feels like when you say it EVERY TIME I bring up trans anxieties. or dysphoria. or any of the ways my transness affects my#life. like being trans doesn’t make me less of a person oh my god. but also frankly I don’t have the patience to be nice about getting into#things and I don’t have the heart to hurt her about it and even if I did have one of those I don’t have the patience to hold her hand#through all this shit. like I gave up having mom on this journey ages ago do you know how painful it is to un-give up on something that#immense. it’s hard and it hurts and it burns and it’s like. giving up to begin with didn’t hurt too bad- it’s cutting off the festering#wound. but. but then. you find out that. you can in fact work with that. and suddenly you have to try and clean the wound. care for it and#wrap it and do it all over again. and god it hurts. and. I’m not entirely sure I want to un-give up all the way on this? it’s. a lot#like I get and I appreciate that she’s trying to do. something. in theory at least. she avoids the subject when I bring it up and all but#cringed when I brought up coming out to her side of the family. she calls me my deadname and her daughter more than she did before she said#she would try. and I don’t have the energy to uncover that wound enough to start cleaning it. I’m just letting it sit there because frankly#it’ll be such a huge thing because it’s Always a huge thing when I don’t let the subject drop mega fast and I’m. I know she’s not gonna cut#me off for just being trans but GOD I want to keep ONE of my parents in my fucking life when I’m able to stand on my own two feet holy shit#and. man. it appears this is. still more of a thing than I thought it was. thats. annoying and inconvenient
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is to ONE PERSON and one person ONLY. if you're confused, it's not you!
#you know. i saw you posted today from a different account. and it was one i totally forgot about#i didnt even feel like running back this time. was i curious? yes. did i end up looking? yep.#im saying this even though im 98% sure you cant see it but whatever. since when has that stopped me before?#you seemed fine. to say seeing that didnt piss me off would be a lie. oops i guess#i think its funny how the last thing you posted was stolen from me.#today it was one of those tag games we used to do together. your taglist was empty with some excuse of being absent on this app#i cant help but wonder if thats really all of it. if thats the whole story or not. i have a feeling the answer is no#i dont think youll ever understand the impact of what you did to me and the ways that you treated me. how that immensely fucked me up#or how youve basically thrown me to the wolves ever since you emotionally checked out.#you act like i never mattered to you and its been like that for forever. i made so many excuses on your behalf that i never should have.#these days the thought of you makes me go insane. the kind of insane that leaves me up all night and makes me wanna scream at the top#of my lungs. i have been consumed by anguish and hate. yes. im not afraid to say it anymore. i hate what happened and what you did to me#and sometimes i even hate you. and i dont even feel bad about it. im so over that because if theres anything i deserve after this hell then#its the capability to hate. for once in my life.#i saw your post and wondered if you thought of me. and i hope you did. i hope you thought of me and at the very least it stung.#because whether you want to admit it or not i was someone good. i bent over backwards for you every other day. try finding someone to do#everything that i did for you that you never appreciated. try finding someone who will care as much as i did about someone who couldnt be#bothered to tell me happy birthday. i dare you. because im tired of being sad that youre not here. im tired of being the one whos mourning#im so over it actually. because really i did so much for you. i gave up so much to be a good friend and it was never enough. i genuinely#cared about you. im not going to torture myself anymore by overanalyzing your posts or by thinking that i was nothing to you#because in one way or another youll miss me. and i hope the feeling is hell.#in the wise and paraphrased words of taylor swift. karma only comes back around to those who deserve it#in other words ill be fine#em speaks#tw vent ish#sorry to everyone else although i applaud you for being nosy lmao. gotta have my girlboss moment <3
2 notes
·
View notes