#i see y’all making lil buddy a pet

[takkton]

I feel like the fandom often forgets that these

And these

Are just as sapient as these

Like they’re not pets or beasts or whatever, these are guys. They’re dudes. They work a 9-5 and have a wife and kids. Non-octoling Octarians are sapient. Every Salmonid is also sapient that’s why they wear pants.

[phantomsies]

my dress up darling • ony

convincing your friend to go to a convention with you turned out to be the best idea ever!…but it’s what happens before the event even arrives that makes it all the more fun..

📝: blerd!ony, black fem!reader (plus size coded), PWP, finger sucking, thigh riding, fingering, handjob, pet names used (mama, baby, she slips up and calls him daddy), lots of praise, tit/nipple play, nasty hotel sex, tiny mentions of blood + injury, reader is a seamstress/cosplayer, missionary, squirting, friends to lovers, lots of humor and banter, creampie, aftercare

word count: 6.3K

this was a lil something I’ve been wanting to write for the longest bc blerd!ony altered my brain chemistry and I miss him tremendously (and the next time I go to a con, I’m totally not hoping to manifest a tall, darkskin, nerdy cosplayer bf🌚 just joking y’all! That would literally never happen. But I hope y’all enjoy this

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“Ow..damn, this hurts already..”

“You good over there, mama? What’s wrong?”

the deep voice belted out in a rather low and calm tone..cool and collected, that’s how he always was. Nonchalant to a fault and that was just one of the many things you loved about him. Hence why you had invited him along to this little venture in the first place. However, at the moment…you quite frankly could not stand his ass! Through gray colored contacts, (y/n) shot the tall male next to you an icy glare..one signifying just how ‘good’ you were!

“Oh, I’m just fine, Ony. Despite the fact that my legs are still shaking and I’m sore as hell.”

a statement that should not have garnered a single chuckle out of anyone had your very handsome homeboy doubling over in laughter. He could tell by the look on your face that you were still a little peeved at him for the previous night and this morning. Honestly, you’d never want to fight a single person in your life but if you thought you could beat him, you’d ask him to spar just one time. “What the hell is so funny?” “Nothing at all, you just seem a lil’ stressed.” Feigning his humor as he pressed the key fob to lock the doors of his 2022 Camaro..a beautiful specimen, much like the man driving it. Honestly, it should’ve been illegal to be this fine but you knew exactly what you were signing up for when you decided to come to this convention with him! Three days full of dressing up, video games and all of the collectible items and rare figurines that one’s nerdy little heart could desire. It was an event that you had been looking forward to for months and it was only the icing on the cake when your favorite cashier turned cosplay buddy decided to tag along! You’d discovered Onyakopon’s, or just Ony as everyone called him; his love for nerdy things after you came into his store on a late night with a random anime shirt on and he was all hyped to see someone else that looked like him, especially a girl..that was into this same stuff. Since that day, the two of you spoke every chance you got to gush over your favorite shows and game series, all but holding up the lines to do so. Soon, that bond carried over outside of his workplace and the two of you began hanging out. Even going to a manga and anime cafe for your first outing. You were so excited to have a friend who shared your similar interests. Eventually, you divulged to Ony that you were a cosplayer and that’s when he stumbled upon your Instagram page. Which was littered with photos of you in beautiful costumes…some very detailed and intricate and others..very revealing and sexy! Make no mistake, he drew an issue with neither one but to see your duality from a girl who walked around in long graphic tees with characters on them and sweatpants to seeing you with your ass out, dressed as one of his fictional crushes, had him very conflicted! But what impressed him even more was the fact that each one of those beautiful outfits you were wearing?

You had hand sewn each one yourself! Spending weeks at a time crafting each one. Hence why your page was so much more bare than other girls he’d seen doing the same craft. It wasn’t that you loved it any less, you just didn’t have the luxury of tossing on any old, run of the mill Amazon ensemble from some third party buyer whose plus sizes looked like they’d fit a middle schooler at best. So instead of giving it up altogether, you took the liberty of learning how to stitch them together yourself to ensure the perfect fit. So naturally, it came as no surprise that when you revealed this secret to him, he wanted you to curate his very first cosplay as well! Ony had long since dreamed of dressing up as characters such as Kratos, Jin Kazuma and all the other badass video game giants he adored. Not only did go out and purchase hundreds of dollars worth of materials for you to make his dream costume come to life, but he offered to cover the costs of everything for the weekend. Just because he was so gracious to you and excited to be going. You made it your mission to ensure that he’d be left in awe when he put it on! The character in question? None other than Shao Kahn from Mortal Kombat and you decided to accompany him as the antagonist’s wife, Sindel. You both looked incredible. But leading up this moment, things had gotten a little out of control, thanks to your companion over there!..who didn’t seem to be phased at all.

“Aye listen, to be fair, you started it. I just finished it.” Prompting you to smack your lips and cut your eyes at the shirtless male. Who was glistening in the sunlight and not making matters any better. “Whatever, I think you were betting on sum’ shit like that to happen.” “Shit, I ain’t mad that it did and I know you not either.”

but just what was Ony referring to? Well…it all began last night in the hotel room…

flashback

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───

“Ony! Can you stay still, please? I’m tryna finish this last piece.”

“C’mon, ma. Can’t you do it later on?”

“If it gets any later, imma be sleep so no. You can pause that damn game and wait for me to finish sewing this on.”

it was around eight thirty at night..dark had fallen cast over the skies and faint crackles of thunder resounded throughout the air. Luckily, the two of you were safe from any potential storms in the confines of your spacious hotel room. A luxury, double bed suite at the Best Western; only two blocks away from the convention venue. The last thing either of you wanted to be worried about was having to drive forever to get there and then have no parking or having to wait in a long line. It was a mistake you’d made several times when attending these events alone but Ony wanted his very first time to be absolutely perfect. Not to mention, he didn’t want you having to walk far in your heels. DragonCon was by far one of the largest conventions in the country and people of all kinds came to the illustrious event to have fun, make friends and of course, show off their cosplays. You and Ony had decided on the video game greats, Sindel and Shao Kahn from Mortal Kombat. You had loved Sindel since you first began playing the series and she became your favorite. So a year ago, you decided to craft her iconic purple suit and the staff to go along with it. So you were all set aside. But he wasn’t going to be as easy…because at the moment, while you were trying to put together the final touches on his outfit, he was clicking away at a controller, which made it difficult to get the stitching right. But you knew how it went…when you found yourself gridlocked in an important match or battle and couldn’t stop at the moment.

“Awww, c’mon! You keep blocking, bro. I hate this damn combo—“

it was at that moment when you were bringing the curved needle up through the loin cloth piece and securing the stitch, did he jump and not only cause you to lose balance, but send that needle right through your finger! Poking the index pad and breaking the skin. “OW!” On instinct, you’d jump back and immediately, Ony dropped his controller, finally breaking focus on what he was doing. You were bleeding but nothing too major. Alas though, he felt instantaneously guilty and reached for you. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” Making an attempt to check on you. The last thing you wanted was for him to feel bad so you’d downplay your pain and try to brush it off. But he was quick to run to the bathroom to grab some paper and bandages to help clean it up. “Here, you sit down..I got you.” You could tell he was remorseful by the way he flew into action but it was just a part of the craft. You’d lost count of how many times you’d singed yourself with a hot glue gun or poked yourself with a needle. Hell, you still had a giant scar on your arm from the time you sliced it, trying to cut material for a prop. It was certainly on the tamer side of the injuries you’d sustained. But just knowing that he was even remotely responsible for your pain, he couldn’t handle that.

“Ony, I’m fine. Really..I’ll just wrap it up later..”

“Nah, I should’ve stopped like you said. That’s my fault.” There was a sudden shift in his tone and you didn’t like it! There was no need for him to feel guilty. But here he was, sitting next to you on the bed as he gently cusped your hand and began first aid. He was a true sweetheart if you’d ever met one. He’d start by wiping it away and cleaning it thoroughly. You told him that a bandaid would only get in the way and keep snagging so you’d just leave it uncovered.

“You good? How you feel?” A question that elicited a laugh from you. You didn’t understand why he was so worked up over something so trivial. “I told you I’m okay. You ain’t got to worry, I’m a big girl. It’s gon’ take more than a lil’ ass needle to break me.” It was then that the two of you found yourselves face to face on the edge of the bed. Everything else had seemed to fall silent or as menial background noise. You noticed that he couldn’t stop staring at you and that he was still clutching your hand. Those deep set eyes of his remained focused on you as he casually slid his thumb across your own. “Yeah..I know. But I just wanna make you straight, that’s all..you know I care about you.” The sentiment sends flutters throughout your stomach. He was so sweet and attentive..it really shocked you that no woman had snatched him up already. He was incredibly handsome, respectful and always kind. You were happy to have someone like him in your life.

“I appreciate that..I’m just happy you decided to come with me. It means a lot. I usually do this by myself so I feel a lot better with you around.”

by now, the mood had shifted from slightly intense to..something far more sensual. Serene and quiet, as if the two of you were lovers confessing your feelings under moonlight. Truth be told, you’d never pictured yourselves as anything other than friends up until that moment. But you were always each other’s ‘person’. Attached and glued at the hip and loving the sense of happiness you brought one another. This peace and safety that came with knowing you could be your authentic selves. Inching closer, Ony would bridge the gap of space between your bodies and place a hand on your thigh. “Well you know I wouldn’t have missed this for anything..getting to be alone with you? It’s the highlight of my year..dressing up and getting to experience my first con with my fine ass girl? I couldn’t ask for better.” You’d feel your skin run hot and pangs shooting off in your stomach as he uttered the words in that deep drawl. You couldn’t believe he was so infatuated with you. Granted, you were beautiful and there wasn’t a time that you doubted yourself but he was unreal. Those pearly white teeth, that gorgeous dark skin, chiseled physique and that height..he nearly drove you insane when you were measuring him for all the pieces and you caught a glimpse of that v-line! Right now, your minds were on a one track path and there was no chance of it derailing.

“..Ony..”

because of this, neither of you could fight your urges a second longer and he’d pose a question you’d been dying to hear. “..Can I kiss you? Lemme thank you for helping me..” and without hesitation.. “I think you know the answer.” ..you gave him the green light. In a matter of moments, he’d curl a finger underneath your chin before pulling your face closer and pressing your mouths together. His soft lips collided with your own and eventually, you’d begin to make out. Shoving your tongues around inside of each other’s jaws. Your palm would creep up to cup his face and you’d find yourselves locked in a heated moment of passion. You found yourselves tangled up; hands colliding and caressing the opposite frame and by the time you came up for air, yours were roaming underneath his tank top and his were all up your slightly parted thighs.

“Here..sit on my lap.” Commanding with such suaveness, you couldn’t move fast enough as those perfectly manicured fingers waved you towards him. Ony would chew at his lower lip after licking; his signature mannerism when he was feeling a bit aroused by you. He’d done it so many times, that he had to quell it and be on his best behavior. But now, he couldn’t be too vexed to do so. He wanted you and you’d realize just how much before the night was over. You’d follow his command, propping yourself on his muscular thigh. It was decorated by a single tattoo of Shenron from Dragon Ball Z, surrounded by the eight balls. It was such beautiful work but if Ony could be rather frank…he wanted nothing more than to have you grinding yourself on it or watch that ass clap against it! A depraved thought but a real one nonetheless.

“I think you deserve a break, baby..been working so hard tryna’ get me right…lemme take care of you for a lil’ bit.” It was once you were stationed on his lap with those legs slightly parted, did he resume those sloppy yet gentle pecks. Intermittently shoving his tongue into your mouth. He’d slowly trail those fingertips across your covered skin; still sheathed by those tights underneath your skirt that you’d worn at dinner. Rips had plagued the inner corners as they’d always done…it was nearly impossible for you to keep those or a pair of fishnets with how thick your flesh was. That didn’t seem to bother him at all though. To Ony, it was the most attractive shit a woman could have. He loved how soft and supple your skin was..always scented with cocoa butter and that sweet perfume he loved so much. He loved how your features just made everything you wore, cosplay or otherwise..look so accentuated. He couldn’t get enough. Meanwhile, those nimble digits worked their way up your skirt and stopped just a centimeter short of your aching center. Unbeknownst to him, this was the first time you’d been so close to a man and in such an intimate setting. But make no mistake, you weren’t scared. In fact, you invited the idea of having him be the first one to ‘deflower’ you.

“You gon’ let me do that, baby?..Can I play with this pretty pussy?..”

the lewd question sending pangs throughout the pit of your belly. You didn’t even hesitate to provide him an answer and before you knew it, he was ripping out the seat of those tights and peeling your panties back. As he suspected, you were dripping. He just knew you’d be some pressure but this was his first bit of confirmation. As you sat idly on his lap, Ony began to toy around with your cunt. Brushing ever so slightly over that clit and running his finger pads along your folds and lips..it was so sticky and he was certain that it tasted even better. A theory he’d put to the test soon enough. However, at the moment, he just wanted to get you stimulated. He wanted to see those cute little reactions when he rubbed on your aching bud and teased it over your hole. Your arm clenched around the back of his neck as you held on for leverage. You’d watch his every move. Following his pace step for step and it was agonizing to see him going so slowly. You needed him to do his worst already!

“Mmm…I knew this shit was gon’ be wet but damn..look at my fingers already and I ain’t even stuck ‘em in..”

referring to the copious amounts of slick coating the tips as he swiped up and down. Over the sound of the crisp air blowing from the vents, he could hear your stirred up secretions, only growing by the minute. And of course, those cute little moans escaping your throat. “Ony…fuck.” “Oh you like that, huh? Like when I play in this pretty hole, don’t you, mama?” All but rhetorically questioning when he finally decided to plunge his middle and index inside simultaneously; nearly making you come undone right there. You couldn’t even elicit a response until he gained a rhythm and slowly worked you over. A single strand of drool seeped from your lips as he gently thrusted those digits back and forth. He could sense just how tight you were from his digits alone. The anticipation to be inside of you was growing stronger. But for now, he’d hide his time and focus solely on your pleasure. Those gentle brown eyes were fluttering and had even rolled back whilst you rolled your hips in a circular motion to meet his movements while incoherent babble left your mouth. But that wouldn’t suffice..he needed to hear you say it.

“Unt uh..use your words, baby. I need to know I’m making you feel good..” and alas, he’d get his answer when he sped up his pace and clutched a hand around your throat. Squeezing ever so slightly to garner his desired reaction. Ony wouldn’t consider himself to be super dominant by any means but he loved taking control to show his girl she had nothing to worry about.

“Y-yeah, daddy. It feels so fucking good.” The name slipping out casually as you pounced up and down on those two fingers. You’d felt a slight tinge of embarrassment but Ony on the other hand? Felt empowered. He never really cared for the term but hearing you utter it with those mellifluous moans, he was reconsidering! In fact, he needed to hear it again. “That’s my good girl…here, lemme take this off too.” Referencing your tube top that had been housing those ample breasts and concealed under your sweater at the restaurant. For now though, he wanted to see his gifts unwrapped. “Fuck..these big ass titties so pretty, baby. I love the way they sit up..”

it was then that he’d bury his face between them and alternate between each one’s nipple while his fingers remained nestled inside of that warmth. They’d slowly work around, twisting until they prodded your g-spot and his tongue swirled those brown buds, lapping and licking. A combination of the stimulating movements had caused you to make quite the mess of his leg with creamy juices spilling forth. You were squirming, becoming restless and in need of an orgasm already. But Ony was enjoying this far more than he should and couldn’t be vexed to stop right now.

“You so fucking pretty, baby. I swear I be so happy when you’re around..”

doting on you constantly whilst working over your sweet spot. He could tell just how excited you had become, just by the way you writhed and squealed as well. In truth, you’d never been in a situation quite like this one. You look so salacious yet so innocent and it wasn’t something that was lost on Ony. In fact, he wanted to further exploit it..

“Open that mouth..” the command followed by you promptly obeying and him gliding those same digits that were just inside of you onto your tongue. It was such a cute sight..watching you suckle on his fingers with those brown doe eyes fixated on him. This was something that he could never grow tired of..reducing his pretty little best friend to his adorable slut! You’d whimper heavily around those digits, moaning and still rutting yourself against his exposed upper thigh. Meanwhile, he was pushing those digits in and out, even getting you to gag and drool a bit from the movements. “Fuck…there you go. Suck them fingers, baby. Taste that pretty pussy f’r me. Yeah, you know your shit good. Fine ass..” which prompted you to giggle. It wasn’t a compliment you received often and honestly, you never doubted that you were beautiful but it was something about him affirming you that made your heart flutter. Suddenly, his low drawl ascended a half a pitch higher when you’d snake your smaller hand into his shorts. You’d continue to be pacified on his fingers whilst jerking him off. You were inconsolable and when you noticed that very visible tent in his bottoms, you had to move.

“Oh my gosh—shit…keep playing wit’ it, just like that…stroke that fucking dick..” growling as he forced his digits a little more down your throat; depressing your tongue along the way and causing you to keep emitting drool. Which served as the perfect lubricant to his already leaking cock. “Mmmm…Ony. Need you to fuck me..” “..you want this dick, baby?” Neither of you could take much more of this teasing and when he’d utter the fateful question, asking if you wanted to go further, you didn’t even hesitate. Despite never being intimate with a man prior. Your only partners were women or your lovely assortment of toys that you’d stashed away in your dresser. Honestly, with your arsenal..you saw little to no need to even entertain these dudes. Any feeling or sensation they could bring forth, your Rose Toy and Bad Dragon could replicate times ten! However, it was something about Ony and the way he made you feel. Not just in an erotic sense, but an emotional one as well. You felt so safe and comfortable in his presence, that it only felt natural to submit. He brought forth your feminine energy and allowed you to thrive in it.

“Here, lay down f’r me, mama. Just like that..and keep them legs spread.”

upon giving you instructions, he’d long since removed you from his lap and allowed you lie flat against the mattress; just awaiting his next move. Your tits were still sitting up, spilled out of the tube top, shuffled around your belly..and those sheer fishnets were as good as torn. It was such a sexy view, that Ony didn’t even want to undress you. However, he stripped all of his clothing down and immediately joined you back on the bed. He’d hover above you with his shaft in hand, stroking slowly. The expression on your face told it all…and he couldn’t help but to laugh. “What’s wrong, baby? You look nervous.” To which all you could do was swallow the lump in your throat. Granted, you didn’t know what an actual human’s length was supposed to look like but from the girth of his and how nearly reached the end of his thigh, nervous was an understatement. What if you couldn’t handle it? What if you embarrassed yourself?!..

“Well don’t be..you know imma take my time witchu’..I been waiting on this a long time.” Whispering to you as he leaned down and met your gaze with warm eyes and gentle smile. Brushing your cheek with that cock still in his opposite palm, he’d place small kisses atop your forehead and eventually your lips. “You just tell me what I need to do..this is yours now. I wanna make you feel good..” but it was a given, blatantly obvious even at this point. You needed every last part and inch of him..with your reassurance, he asked once more if it were okay to keep going and you’d grant him permission with a palm of your own to the side of his face..whispering to him to put it inside of you. Cooing with sweet nothings and whiny breaths, (y/n) begged Ony to fulfill your wish and it wasn’t long before your eyes went wide and your face went flush..

“Oh God—“ “Fuck…”

in that moment, the sounds of squelching flesh, along with breathy gasps emitted into the room. The two of you clashed and joined as one, right there on the crisp sheets of that king bed. The first few inches of his cock embedded deep between your warm, massaging walls and it was a sensation that could only be described as euphoric. Your legs instinctively coiled his waist, your hands to the sides of his head and his arms on either side of your body. Lying there, awaiting his next move. But alas, he had to regain his composure. Out of fear of sounding a bit too egregious, he’d keep his thoughts to himself but you were most certainly the best pussy he’d ever felt and he hadn’t even made his first thrust! Even so, Ony released a deep grunt and focused his attention back to your pretty face. “You good, baby?..Can I start moving?” This question required a bit more consideration, as you need time to adjust. That initial feeling brought forth a pleasurable yet slightly painful feeling..you didn’t make it a point to disclose to him that you were technically a ‘virgin’..but seeing as how it wasn’t the very first time you’d felt penetration, you didn’t feel it important. Besides, at that very moment. None of the proverbial details really made a difference. All that mattered was that the two of you were comfortably, willing and all ready to take this next step. And after a moment of quick breaths and whimpers, you’d instruct him to keep moving. In which he’d make one full thrust in and out..

“Agghhh…fuck..there we go, baby. In and out..” eventually, you’d fall into a rhythm of kisses that mimicked his thrusts..each one slower than the last but full nonetheless. This was so you could get acclimated with the shape and size of his member. It was a bit much and by the expression on your face, Ony knew he couldn’t start out drilling your shit!..as badly as he wanted to..

“Yeah..you takin’ my dick so good, baby..you feel so warm..” doting on you whilst your tongues swished around one another’s mouths. Sloppy, wet and steamy; an ideal combination. Coupled with that of the slow, deep thrusts in and out of your tight cunt. One thing that you loved about him was that he wasn’t afraid to be vocal. He didn’t shy from the fact that he was feeling good and wanted everyone to know. “Mmmm…Onyyyy…” “I know, mama. I know..” it went without saying, you were certainly enjoying this and he’d do everything he could to make the situation the best he could. Keeping you reigned in close to his chest, Ony persisted with his thrusts, trying to slowly get you to conform to his shape and so far, it was working.

“There you go, baby. Open that shit up..lemme have it.” Soon, the sounds of thumping and smacking began to fill the atmosphere and you’d feel those strokes become a little faster. It was then that you’d feel the swollen tip of that girthy cock not only stretching you out but precisely hitting your spot as well. Once he knew this was your sought after core, he’d hone in on it and pound away with precise thrusts; even rolling his hips and reaching a hand down to massage your clit. You’d have a moment where you’d falter and that, along with those beautiful eyes rolled back. “Fuck!..f-fuck..yes!” However, he thrived off the satisfaction of seeing your expressions and how they shifted, the deeper he got.

“Unt uh..eyes up here. Lemme see that pretty face while I fuck you..gimme that pussy, baby. Yes..”

You found his commands so sexy and soothing. His voice was soft yet stern and you felt comforted by his tone. It was no wonder that you’d become nearly entranced by him. The smacking sounds only grew louder and that was thanks to the fact that you were a dripping puddle between your thighs. Pearly white secretions leaking everywhere, even coating his shaft entirely and making quite the mess. In one fell swoop, Ony shifted from cradling you to his own body, to pinning your legs to the mattress and spreading you wide open. From this angle, he’d have an ideal view of those voluptuous tits bouncing each time he thrusted. Or just how that plump cunt looked swallowing his cock.

“Oooh..you creaming all over my dick, baby…shit’s so fucking sexy. You like the way this shit feels?” “Y-yes, daddy. Thank you, thank you!—“ declaring so with his thumb pad rolling on your clit and a long trail of saliva coating your lips. He didn’t relent, even when you’d squeeze down on him. It was every bit of eight inches and you’d nearly taken all of it at this point..you couldn’t believe it. “I just knew your shit was good..knew this pussy was the best just by looking at you.”

which made the both of you break into a slight giggle. But you certainly had help getting to this point. This was a newfound sensation and your body was reacting accordingly.

“You bring it out of me..fucking me like this—“ the incoherent babble was followed by something that would only further prove his point. When he’d keep gliding back and forth, speeding up his movements..that’s when it happened…

“Oh shit!—“ “AHH!! FUCK!…” as you’d whimper and cry out, even pawing at his abs as those streams of juices began to spill out and hit not only the linen underneath but his torso as well. Marking his decadent skin with splashes of your liquid. He’d never seen and you’d never experienced anything like it!

“..look at you squirting on that dick, baby...” although you were beginning to feel depleted, your body craved more of him. You wanted to keep going until either of you could move another inch. A wish that would soon come to fruition when you felt Ony’s thrusts become a bit more sporadic and off rhythm. He’d begin to falter, falling prey to your sex. Admittedly, it’d been ages since he’d had sex or a proper orgasm to boot but you were on a whole other playing field! The plush of those thighs, the ripple of that pudgy tummy and big tits, not to mention, the warmth of your wet hole…it was simply too much for him to fathom!

“Onyyyy!..” the louder you cried out, clawing into his skin; albeit his back or his abdomen, the more motivated he became to give you the most pleasure he could possibly help you attain. Even so, he’d make certain of your well-being all throughout. Asking if you were okay to keep moving..not doing so without explicit instructions and checking constantly to see if your expressions matched your sounds. He only wanted tears brought forth from joy and ecstasy, not pain. But the smile plastered on your face was pretty indicative of how good you felt! “Haaa..yeah, baby. I’m right here—tell me what you need…”

clinging to the last semblance of dominance he could muster, Ony slowed his pace down back to the original and held you close once more. He needed it..not just your body, but you in your entirety. He needed to hear you say that he was the one that you desired…that he could officially be your special person and never let you go for as long as he lived. It was all he had wanted, since the day he first cast eyes on you. When he first saw you in those shirts and sweats with his favorite series on it and when he first saw you in those cosplays. It was a moment that he not only wanted to remember but keep reliving. He wanted what the two of you had to last for an eternity…“..I love you....” the words sending your heart fluttering like butterflies in a garden. It was all you had been waiting to hear come from his mouth. Ony thought he’d never truly be able to utter the phrase and it has substantial weight behind it but now, he’d found his one and only who made the words come to life.

“I love you too, Ony…” so with a gentle stroke of your fingers to the side of his face, right there in that hotel room…the two of you consummated what had long since been established. The feelings of adoration for one another that could not be contained. It wasn’t long before either of you would reach your peak and before long, he was heaving and holding onto you with the last remnants of his strength.

“..come. Come for me, Ony…come in me..”

With that, you’d answer his earlier question and he’d have no problem fulfilling your request! He’d spotted you taking your birth control pills once you returned from dinner so any qualms he had dissipated. “I’m coming!…imma nut—“ veins bulge from his forehead and hands as he continues rutting into you. Ony’s fingertips grasped the headboard behind you and would serve as his balance as every ounce of his warm seed began to trickle into your inviting womb..you’d both reach that climatic peak together and following your stream of sexual secretions, was a trail of joyous tears shrouding your faces. Heavy gasps and breathless whimpers escaped your throats before you collapsed into one another’s arms. Once you were both back in the realm of reality, lying underneath him, (y/n) didn’t waste another moment before pulling him into a searing, passionate kiss. One that neither of you wanted to break.

but alas, your gazes would meet and you’d break into a fit of light chuckles.

“How you feel? You good?”

“Oh I’m just fine…are you good?”

poking fun at one another’s reactions in that final moment of ecstasy. But you were both feeling quite well after that. And you wanted nothing more than to keep reveling in it but tomorrow the big day awaited and you both needed rest…

“I’m straight…I mean, shit…you put it on me for real..where you learn to do them lil’ tricks at?” Referring to your earlier display of waterworks but you’d have to tease him once. “A lady never reveals her secrets..” you’d tease back, pursing a finger to his lips before he’d slowly began to pull out, dragging a string of pearlescent cum along with him and splattering a bit on your tummy on the way out. “Besides, I gotta finish your outfit before I fall asleep—“ “Unt uh…you ain’t getting up until you drink sum’ and wipe off. I can get you some snacks from downstairs too.” That’s when he’d roll over and crawl out of the bed, going over to the bathroom to retrieve a warm washcloth and some water from the mini fridge adjacent to the foot of the mattress. He wasn’t going to let you up until he made certain you could handle it. That was Ony’s overprotective nature for you. But it came from nothing but the purest intentions.

“That is not necessary. I’ll be fine.” “Yeah, but you my girl…and imma always take care of you. So hush.” Kissing your forehead ever so gently before sitting at your side and running that rag over your skin. It felt quite nice and you were glad he made you rest for a moment because your body had been through a foreign experience and he made every single second of it magical…you knew that you wanted to create more memories like this with him for as long as possible. Albeit a convention, a date or even kicking it at his place as you watched him play video games. You just wanted to remain in his presence and remain his girl forever.

“Aye, you gone let me sleep in the wet spot?..I wanna stay cool tonight.”

“..Ony, get away from me, please.”

even if he did work the last good nerve you had sometimes!

[4mnji]

FORGIVE ME, BABY ᡣ𐭩 eren yeager x reader

synopsis: u find out ur fwb has been fucking other girls on the low and u hate being one of his options, so he comes over to “apologize” to you

warnings: kissessss, pussy eating, fingering, orgasm denial, choking, pet names (baby, my love, princess), eren is just a lil mean n nonchalant 😠, reader is kinda possessive hehe 🎀, reader and eren r both in their 3rd year of college, once again written with a black women in mind but anyone can read

wc: 1.4k

a/n: here’s another fic that has been collecting dust in my notes for a hot minute. i hope yall enjoy 💋

you’re chilling on your bed, scrolling through instagram bored outta your mind when you get a call from your fuck buddy, eren. you shot up from ur position on the bed making sure u looked good enough to answer the facetime call. when you were just about to pick up, you stopped in your tracks and let it ring until the call eventually went away.

you wanted to pick up, you really did but you had remembered that just a few days ago mikasa, your best friend, had sent you a screenshot of one of her instagram mutuals close friends post with a message undernesth it saying “isn’t that ur man??”. you clicked on the screenshot and it was a picture of eren and some random girl laying in bed, eren with his face buried deep into her neck displaying all the hickeys he must’ve gotten from her with her hand touching his back. you instantly knew it was eren because of the tattoo behind his ear. obviously you knew you and eren weren’t together and probably would never be, but you just couldn’t stand the sight of seeing him give the d to anyone else who wasn’t u when he could simply just hit you up if he wanted a good fuck. your phone dinged 2 times, making you snap out of your trance.

rennie 💋💋

why u ain’t pick up?

i have ur location, ik ur ass is home.

you rolled your eyes at his messages, deciding not to text him back and just call him instead. he picks up on the first ring, instantly questioning you, not even giving u a proper greeting. “why didn’t you pick up?” he says with a blank stare. “well hello to you too” you scoff which doesn’t go unnoticed by him but he chooses to ignore it. “i was in the bathroom.” you lied. eren nods his head, looking away from the camera not saying anything. there’s a moment of silence before he breaks it and shifts his focus back onto you. “i wanna come over, i miss you.” you shake ur head laughing a bit at his statement. “you don’t miss me, you was just with some other girl like 2 days ago. if you really missed me you would’ve came to me instead of her” eren opens his mouth to speak, but you countinue talking. “eren, you know how i feel about being one of your lil hoes. if you wanna have multiple girls on your roster and pick and choose who u want to fuck on what days, you can get the fuck off my line because i’m not gonna be apart of that bullshit.”

eren sighs and doesn’t say anything for a couple of seconds. he thinks about his next actions and choice of words carefully. on one hand, he can argue with you, which would then lead to you not talking to him for a week, ignoring all his messages and calls and then eventually you’ll get tired of doing that and tell him to come over so y’all can “talk”. or he can just agree with whatever you were saying—and he chose the latter. his patience was wearing thin, he actually did miss you and he didn’t want to jeopardize his chances of seeing you with some stupid argument.

after thinking out his words he finally speaks “you’re right princess, i’m sorry” he says trying to sound as sympathetic as possible. honestly, eren didn’t give a fuck if u did or didn’t like his lifestyle, he does whatever the hell he wants to do. however, he didn’t want u to get any more upset with him than u already were, so he decided to make u feel like u had the upper hand so u would let him come over.

you were about to open your mouth to say some slick shit to him because you knew that these type of conversations between the two of you always ended up in some type of back and forth argument, so you were taken aback when he not only agreed with what you were saying, but even apologized. and eren never apologizes. “im right?” u question, confusion laced in your tone. “yea baby, you are and i’m sorry for making you feel that way. i’ll stop fucking around with all these girls i promise, just let me come over so i can make it up to you properly” after hearing all of eren’s empty promises and him actually “agreeing” with what u had to say for once, you folded immediately and told him to come over. you probably would’ve been standing on buisness a little bit more if u didn’t crave his touch so much but you did, you needed wanted him badly.

once you gave eren the green light that he can come over he was there in less than fifteen minutes and had you butt naked on your bed in less than five.

“keep your legs up, baby” eren instructs and u do as he says. you lift your legs up, locking your arms around them to keep them in place. eren begins to kiss all over the lower half of your tummy and slowly trails down to your pretty pussy. his kisses are so sweet, slow, and sensual that is has your toes curling in the air.

“mmm ren..f-feels good” you mutter out while letting out soft moans. eren hums, which sends a little vibration into you. eren knew u were close, even if u didn’t tell him u were. he was always so good at reading u like a book, but for now he decided to play dumb by pulling away and pretending like he didn’t know why u let out that little grunt when he did. before you can question why he stopped he starts rubbing on your puffy clit while looking into your eyes.

“y/n, i really am sorry that i didn’t come to you the other day. i don’t know what i was thinking princess, you think you can forgive me?” eren coos at you, with a little smirk on his face that goes unnoticed by you since your head is in the clouds with the way he’s rubbing on you. when he doesn’t get a response he slaps your pussy, earning a loud whine from you. “you didn’t answer me my love. you forgive me?” he asks again. “y-yes eren…i-i forgive you!” u hardly manage to let out.

eren smiles at you before he gives the lower half of your stomach another wet kiss. he moves his head back down so he can start making out with your pussy again. he’s being so sloppy with it but lord it feels so good. you try to push eren’s head away but he doesn’t let up and instead starts adding two of his long digits into your wet pussy while eating it.

you had no more strength left in your body to push his head away with the way he was eating and fingering your pussy. “erennnn im so closeee!!” you whine. and just when you were about to have your release, eren stops. he lifts his body up so he can sit down straight on the bed and he looks down at ur trembling body and just laughs.

“rennn what are u doing…?” u question quietly. eren rests his large palm on the right side of your cheek “i’m glad you forgive me, but you know…” he pretends to think for a moment, “i never got an apology from you for telling me what to do and you know i hate that bossy shit” his hands slides up to your neck and he gives it a little squeeze just enough to make you cough a bit. you rest ur smaller hands on top of eren’s, mentally hoping that you can make him forgive you and he’ll forget about all this and just make you cum.

“r-ren i swear i wont do it again im really sorry i-“ eren cuts you off and leans down to press a quick kiss onto your lips that were now swollen from you biting on them previously. he lets go of your neck and gives you his signature annoying (but sexy) smirk and god you wished you could slap that stupid look off his face, but you’re in such a weak state right now from how he was eating you out </3.

“show me how sorry you are and maybe i’ll think about forgiving you, sound good princess?”

[shurislover]

a look into Riri Williams spam

- love me some riri williams so i decided to do this for her

- readers name is Ahvi

- @shaiwritesss @sapphicvqmpires @s0lam33y @pvnks0ul

lilmiss.smarty

liked by shuris.lab and 34 others

lilmiss.smarty this lab quite fire

gen.okoye do you young people have to take pictures of everything

lilmiss.smarty it’s for memories you should try it

shuris.lab i wonder who did this 🤔

lilmiss.smarty you did your thing with this one

view all 10 comments

lilmiss.smarty

liked by lilmiss.ahvi and 45 others

lilmiss.smarty well damn

lilmiss.ahvi i NeEdeD sPAcE, do that with them folks you see in wakanda not with me

lilmiss.smarty my bad ma i love you

gen.okoye LOL ( did i use this correctly)

nak_iaa you did 🤭

shuris.lab you’re so old 

view all 13 comments

lilmiss.smarty

liked by lilmiss.ahvi and 79 others

lilmiss.smarty get you a girl who sends flowers all the way to Wakanda when you’re feeling homesick

shuris.lab she loves you

lilmiss.ahvi i really do

nak_iaa this is so cute

lilmiss.ahvi i love you so much

mbaku_ you guys make me sick

lilmiss.smarty this is why you’re single

view all 10 comments

lilmiss.smarty

liked by na_kiaa and 98 others

lilmiss.smarty UGH I MISS MY GIRL

shuris.lab you just left her.

gen.okoye right. it hasn’t even been 15 mins

lilmiss.smarty step your relationship game up before you speak on me

shuris.lab my girl and i just fine !!

lilmiss.ahvi hop on one of them lil talon fighters and come see me

lilmiss.smarty on my way beautiful 

view all 6 comments

lilmiss.smarty

liked by lilmiss.ahvi and 56 others

lilmiss.smarty i love when she calls me good girl 😩

gen.okoye what does girl jello mean ?

nak_iaa why would you want to be called a good girl ? you’re not a pet

shuris.lab these two up here have me rolling

lilmiss.ahvi it’s so funny

view all 8 comments

lilmiss.smarty

liked by gen.okoye and 98 others

lilmiss.smarty travel buddy

nak_iaa photo creds 🤭

shuris.lab the fact ahvi is taller than you is so funny

lilmiss.ahvi she my lil mama fr

lilmiss.smarty y’all will get blocked

mbaku_ you’re really 4’11 LOLLL

gen.okoye that’s not nice leave her alone

mbaku_ and that’s why you’re baldheaded

view all 13 comments

lilmiss.smarty

liked by mbaku and 69 others

lilmiss.smarty vacay views for the bday girl !! @/lilmiss.ahvi happy birthday to the loml , thank you for making me the happiest girl on earth. I’m forever grateful to do life with you , cheers to many many more years. love you 4L

gen.okoye happy birthday princess ahvi ! miss you.

mbaku_ happy birthday to the coolest kid

shuris.lab happy bday ahvi !!!!

nak_iaa bday wishes from me and prince t 🤍

lilmiss.ahvi love you guys thank you

lilmiss.smarty

liked by shuris.lab and 94 others

lilmiss.smarty got me in the air knowing damn well i’m scared of heights

lilmiss.ahvi how are you scared of heights when you’re ……..

shuris.lab that’s what i’m confused about

gen.okoye scared of heights but is always in the talon fighter

mbaku gripping her hand like a lil baby

nak_iaa id say grow up but i think you’re stuck at that height

gen.okoye LOL

shuris.lab theres no growing over here

lilmiss.ahvi if y’all don’t leave my baby alone

view all 23 comments

[crybabyddl]

I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO REITERATE SOMETHING

Yes, let’s circle back to the beautiful performance of Edge of Great. More specifically the BODY LANGUAGE, particularly Julie and Luke’s, which I will be analyzing with gifs.

Exhibit A

Jealous Luke looks over at Julie and Reggie vibing

Julie is aware that she’s avoiding Luke, which she is doing so bc she realized her feelings for him thanks to Flynn earlier in the episode.

Since Julie has put the task of ignoring Luke upon herself even though she has no obligation to, she ends up failing her own mission. She sees Luke’s reaction to the lack of her attention.

She literally FREEZES. She’s emotionally worried to confront what she’s feeling and it’s beginning to manifest physically.

Exhibit B

It gets better y’all. After Luke finally has even a crumb of Julie’s attention, he beckons her over with his signature head tilt. This is important bc he did this with his longtime bandmate during the soundcheck of what would’ve been their biggest performance. If he feels comfortable enough using that body language with a girl he’s only known for, what, a week and a half(?) then you know this puppy boy’s got it BAD.

Julie is well aware that Luke is getting jealous. But in classic Julie fashion, she will try to tune it out instead of addressing it. Our wicked beauty doesn’t like confrontation and would rather just deny and avoid than potentially make things awkward, especially when she knows Luke would ask her about it at a later time.

The look on Julie’s face. Her eyes widen and the classic tight-lipped awkward smile is present. She’s literally saying “ok enough of that let’s get back to work doo doo doo” with her face. The way her body SWINGS back into performance mode as she faces the audience again. It may have been a split second, but when you’re deliberately trying to avoid looking into the dreamy (dead) eyes of someone you shouldn’t be crushing on, any amount of time feels too long. Plus, she knows Flynn is watching and doesn’t want her to lecture her (but she does anyway bc Flynn is observant and knows her bestie too well to let any action slip past her).

Exhibit C

Keep in mind; NONE OF THE GUYS KNOW WHY JULIE IS AVOIDING LUKE. Flynn, Alex, and Reggie have noticed the Juke chemistry, but it’s still too soon for them to get past the “we like each other but we’re too clueless to notice that we reciprocate” phase, so even though their respective besties know, they are still denying. Besides, Reg, Alex, and Flynn know better than to keep pestering if they want to keep their kneecaps. In reality they’re both smart enough to tell by this point, but for the sake of the plot and to make everything more adorably frustrating, Flynn has the collective brain cell under lock and key, leaving Juke to be like *dog tilting its head and making that “a-roo?” noise*

Anyway, Reggie notices Luke being snubbed after realizing that his extra dose of Julie time was slightly out of the ordinary. Luke is clearly concerned (look at his eyebrows and how his eyes travel from Reggie, to Julie, then to the audience to trying and get his mind off it and bring his focus back to the main goal; the performance.) If he can’t have the moment of connection with Julie that he so desperately craves, he’s gonna fill that void as best he can by connecting with the audience. >:’)

But Reggie’s trying to help Luke brush it off by conveying his reaction as ‘look at julie coming into her own! i told you she was a star! and you thought you were the lead singer? think again buddy this girl’s got you beat!’

But since Reggie isnt a master at hiding his feelings yet, especially around Luke, —who was able to get under his skin earlier (“girls, am i right?”)—Luke was easily able to see through that and interpreted what Reggie was saying as “look at julie go, she all in the zone. you’re literally making heart eyes at her get a grip you’re slacking lmao” (hence luke’s right eyebrow quirking at reggie like ‘dude seriously gimme a break u know i need attention like tinkerbell’) even though Reggie’s true message was a bit less harsh and more lovingly teasing, but it’s Luke, he sees things through his eyes and at his intensity, regardless of who it’s coming from. (This is one of the reasons why Luke comes off as selfish at times.)

Exhibit D

Poor Lukey boi can’t seem to catch a break today! Not only does Julie ignore him, then has a cute lil (platonic but it’s luke so it still makes him jealous >:P) moment, but now she has the AUDACITY to interact with Alex? The guy who was out learning Ghost 101 with this Willie guy instead of rehearsing with the band? What gives?! What’s he got that your moody ghost bf doesn’t? >:’(

He literally just watches, and even glances back in a way that, to me, screams ‘did i see that right? did i just see what i just saw with my own dreamy (but dead) eyes? say sike rn.’ \_(*_*)_/

Meanwhile, Alex pays no mind. I like to think that Alex is fully aware that Luke is an angry boy rn, but has learned to ignore it, especially this bc literally NOTHING happened. Either that or Alex has no clue and just truly thinks nothing of it and is having too much fun to think about Luke’s moody and childish behavior. Either way, Alex is just straight chilling and we love to see it *^_^*

Notice how Reggie is right there vibing with Julie and Alex. Luke feels a bit betrayed like ‘not you too! i know you were the first to turn on me but i figured since you’re such a golden retriever you’d be loyal and come back to my side!😠🥲’

Also; Luke approaches the rest of the group, wanting to be included in at least SOME of the vibing, but when Julie starts dancing and smiling with her buddy Alex, he backs up like

“you know what? nope. nevermind. not doin’ it.”

and the group’s like “i mean hey it’s your loss, but luke we want you to-”

“no, bc you chose to piss me off right in front of my face so no luke time for any of you! no cuddles, no hugs, no nothing! you made your bed, now lie in it and perish.”

Exhibit E & F: This is where it gets a bit interesting and theorized hehe...

Now we all know that this moment is just fucking ICONIC

WEOWH NEOW NEOW!!! WEOW NEHR NEHR NER-NER-NER NEHR NEHR NEOWHR!!! (wer nehr-nehr-ner-ner-nehr-nehr!!) WUEHNER-NEUHNER-NEHR-NEEOW-NEOWH! DLOOLOODDUH-DOODLAH-HOOBLUEH-NEOWHR-NEUEHR-NEEEEEEUOWRH!!!!

But hear me out– HEAR ME OUT!

What if... now don’t shoot the messenger who just so happens to also be the theorist... but what if...

WHAT IF!!! Luke didn’t!! plan this?!!!

Listen i know you’re probably thinking:

“Well uh Nicole, isn’t that kinda the whole point? It literally wasn’t planned until Charlie realized Madi was gonna be standing on the piano so he suggested the idea for the guitar solo to Kenny.”

And you’re right! But here’s the kicker:

What if Luke THE CHARACTER, just decided to do this as an “Alright that’s it! You wanna be like that? Well what if I just hit you with my super awesome radical totally cool wowza guitar skills & make a moment between us? Huh? What do you think about that? Hmm? HMMM???!!!”

He licks his lips & that to me read** like he was nervous (**read rhyming with bed just to clarify) so that means it could’ve been a spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment thing.

In the second gif, you can see that Julie’s head is tilted, as if she’s a bit confused, but she’s also delightfully surprised.

Julie is quick to smile and scrunch her nose at Luke, something she does often. It tells Luke his impulsive action garnered a positive response from his favorite girl. Julie also starts to shake her head, but doesn’t go through the motion in full, which means she’s still a bit nervous to let her guard down. This is probably because she doesn’t know what he’s thinking or what he will do next. The lopsided smile mixed with the suave, gliding steps towards her probably brought her back to her daydream lol.

Luke’s happy bc Julie’s no longer ignoring him. He smiles like a GOOBER bc this chump is simping HARD for our Julie. So cute! :’)

Exhibit G

And hear me when I offer this:

What if Luke poofed the guys out???

I know, I know. It’s a bold claim to make. But the boys are special, considering they are a threat to Caleb (3 gay-variant himbos vs. a gay magician that could’ve been on broadway but decided to make some sort of deal with a devil so he just entertains capitalists who most likely sold their souls to get into the hgc which i will probably elaborate on in a future theory so dont do that bc im gonna lmao idc we all have big brains) So it’s not too crazy to think that they could share some ghost powers.

We know Caleb transported the guys during You Got Nothing to Lose. And the guys have left a place at the exact same time on more than one occasion.

And you may be thinking “well what if the guys poofed out to give juke a moment alone together?” And to that I say...

Look at Reggie. He isn’t looking back at Alex like “dude let’s give them some space.”

The timing of him turning around, at least to me, makes me think Reggie was surprised by Luke approaching the piano. (But also he lowkey was waiting for Luke to prove him wrong by doing something to get Julie’s attention so Reggie isn’t mad. Neither is Alex but he doesn’t like being told how or WHEN to ghost) Luke doesn’t even give his bandmates a warning eyebrow quirk, a hand signal, nothing. Reggie turns to Alex like ‘dude what is he DOING?’ And before he can even really convey that, they go *POOF*

This man had a plan and he was gonna do it, so he did. Whether it’s the power of love, they stopped performing, or Reggie and Alex actually poofed out, the odds worked in Luke’s favor so he and Julie could have a super special moment, a moment special enough to make an actual living person (Nick) wonder if a “hologram” has a better chance at connecting with Julie than he does.

Again, regardless of who made them poof or how they poofed, they mf poofed so Luke’s a happy hamster. (Idk it just sounded fitting instead of happy camper lol wait what if someone had 3 pet hamsters and named them alex reggie and luke🥺 someone buy some hamsters and let me be their godmother or their aunt and i’ll love them from afar.) Anyway, Luke’s thriving, flourishing, his crops are going to grow in time for the harvest.

You can see Julie lean back as she turns to see Luke. It’s... almost as if... She. Wasn’t. Expecting. Him. To. Be. There..??

Honey badger Luke bc he DGAF <|:) Bitch, it’s Luke mf Patterson and he’s gonna,, GET! IN! YOUR! FAAAACE!!!

You CANNOT tell me he’s not doing the absolute MOST to try and seduce Miss Juliana Mariposa Rose Molina.

Yes I’m making a headcanon that Julie has TWO middle names and that one of them is the spanish word for butterfly and that the other is her mother’s name. Also yes, I believe (i believe that we’re just one dream away from who we’re– oh, that’s not what we’re doing? okay, sorry!) that Juliana is Julie’s full name.

In this house we love and respect Juliana Mariposa (Dahlia)** Rose Molina

**I’m just putting Dahlia there for fun bc I can. :) Whether I’d consider it a possible middle name of hers depends. Anyway I just thought it was a cute thing to add bc it goes along with the other middle names I gave her *^_^* Also, I feel like I made a post giving a bunch of the characters middle names lemme see if I can find it later)

Ok i’m done this took me basically all day from like 10am until 4:08. I obviously took breaks in between, but not long ones...😶

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 300: Days of Our Todorokis

Previously on BnHA: Hawks was all “hey Jeanist, wanna go on a road trip with me to my mom’s house?” Jeanist was all “you know it,” and so they hopped into Jeanist’s jercedes and took off. Hawks took a nap and had a flashback to his Dickensian childhood living in a abject poverty with his jerk mom and jerk dad, thinking heroes were make-believe until one day Endeavor arrested his dad and Baby Hawks was all “OH SHIT.” And then he saved a bunch of people, and the HPSC was all “what do we have here,” and blah blah blah, you know the rest. Back in the present, Hawks was all “well my life is currently in shambles, but on the plus side there’s no one bossing me around anymore so that’s pretty cool,” and then decided he was going to talk to Endeavor. Fandom was all “I can’t believe Hawks would side with his childhood hero over the man who burned his wings off and posted a video calling him a violent murderer who took after his abusive dad,” so that was fun and stuff. I can’t wait to see what piping fresh takes this new chapter will bring.

Today on BnHA: Our old friend Carbonation Carl tries to loot a Starbucks and gets his ass kicked by a senior citizen. Society is all “YEAH, WE’RE REALLY STARTING TO GET SICK OF THIS SHIT.” Old Man Samurai is all “this room won’t stop me because I can’t read it” and abruptly decides to retire, which, fun fact, is literally THE LEAST HELPFUL THING ANYONE HAS EVER DONE. Anyway so then a bunch of other punkasses follow suit, and while I won’t say that I’m actually starting to root for Stain to kill some peeps, just for the record I’m not not saying that either. Back in the hospital, Endeavor cries some tears because his life sucks, and then is confronted by his entire family, LED BY QUEEN REI, FIRST OF HER NAME, BACK IN BUSINESS AND LARGE AND IN CHARGE. Rei is all “fuck feeling sorry for yourself, we have a rogue Murder Son on the loose” and I swear to god I have never felt so alive.

so here we go! and just for the record, even though the last two chapters have been phenomenal, I don’t necessarily have any sky-high expectations for chapter 300, mostly because chapters 100 and 200 consisted of Mei Boobs, and Toadette and her horrific quirk lmao. so go ahead Horikoshi, what are you gonna pull out of your hat for this one

oh, back to this stuff again. sob

I guess there was only so much time we could spend having hospital antics and exploring Hawks’s past before we got back to dealing with the whole “the world has gone to absolute shit” issue huh, lol

omg

what’s with these bizarrely cute Noumus. why do I want to pet them

so the narrative text is going on about how people have been super paranoid about the Noumu ever since the USJ incident a year ago. so yeah, I guess the fact that there are now a bunch of them confirmed to be running around is really freaking people out even on top of everything else

wtf is happening here

what did this poor lil glass ever do to anyone. r.i.p.

OH MY FUCKING GOD

SODA SAM IS BACK ON THE LAM

tsk tsk tsk. my man has graduated from snatching purses to raiding cafes. going after that big money. this man has no business sense whatsoever lmao

OH BUT WATCH IT NOW!!

OH SNAP THE PEOPLE ARE FIGHTING BACK. WHATCHA GONNA DO NOW SAM

THIS MAN IS 172 YEARS OLD AND HE’S NOT HERE TO PLAY GAMES!!

WTF IS HE LIGHTING THIS THING ON FIRE OR SOME SHIT. GETTEM GRANDPA YEAHHHH HE’S CHARGING AT EM YEAHHHHHH

lmao so that was fun. and now we’re cutting to Wash!! omg. look at him

he’s so dedicated. too bad you don’t have a car like Best Jeanist. probably takes a while when you’re just running everywhere

you see?? you were too slow!!

NOOOO, GRANDPA. he defeated Pepsi Pete, but lost his life in the process. this is too tragic

anyway so the good news is that the cafe has been saved! but the bad news is, there really isn’t much of a cafe left. huh. I guess that’s one of the reasons why people are supposed to get a license to use their quirks like this

oh snap and now everyone is coming outside, and they’re none too happy to see poor old Wash over here

seriously Wash, get a bicycle or something. also the way this guy is gesturing so dramatically with his hand in this sort of “YOU SEE!! YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!” manner is sending me

OH MY GOD

HE SPEAKS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS. IT MEANS JEANS PUNS ARE YESTERDAY’S NEWS, FOLKS!! MAKE WAY FOR THE LAUNDRY PUNS. CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH THIS ALL... UNFOLD

“the heroes had dwindled away” okay real talk you guys, it is literally only a matter of time before they press-gang the children into picking up their slack. I still don’t know how to feel about that, but it is happening one way or the other regardless. Child Soldiers 2 Electric Boogaloo. wonder if we’ll see a rise in vigilante action as well

OHO WHAT’S THIS? THIS IS A CHAPTER OF GRANDPAS HUH

-- no fucking way

WOW. WOW. WOWWWWWW

wow. so he didn’t do a fucking thing while the rest of the top ten were being turned into red mist in the previous arc, and now that it’s all over and they need his help more than ever, he decides... THAT IT’S TIME TO RETIRE. holy shit. “fuck you” doesn’t even begin to cover it my guy. you stand there and soak up those boos you coward

ohhhhhhh shiiiiit you guys. oh shit

the “I am not here” breaks my fucking heart for real though y’all. oh man. everything he worked for is gone just like that

(ETA: okay so a couple of the takes I’ve seen on this make it seem like All Might is somehow the bad guy here?? “this is what happens when society puts a bunch of glorified cops on a pedestal”, “finally the cracks in hero society are showing”, etc. etc. so, just a friendly reminder that this isn’t happening because of too much trust and a lack of critical thinking; this is happening because the villains killed all the heroes and broke a bunch of murderers out of jail. it’s happening because an organized league of terrorists succeeded in terrorizing, and so society is now understandably awash in fear and panic. like, it’s just wild to me that AFO is RIGHT FUCKING THERE, and yet week after week fandom still has their “IT’S ALL THE HEROES’ FAULT” signs still up on their lawns. BUT WHATEVER, MOVING ON.)

also though, so exactly how much time is passing here now? I wanted to go straight back to the hospital and see what happens with Deku and the Todorokis. please don’t tell me we’re jumping ahead sob. my aaaaangst

OH SHIT

STAIN. LISTEN UP BUDDY. I KNOW WE’VE HAD OUR DIFFERENCES, AND I STILL DESPISE YOU FOR CRIPPLING TENSEI AND TRYING TO KILL MY BEST BOY TENYA. BUT AS IT HAPPENS, THERE ARE ONE OR TWO OTHER HEROES OUT THERE NOW WHO I WOULDN’T MIND YOU PAYING A VISIT I’M JUST SAYING

LOL BUT IT ACTUALLY ISN’T THIS MAN, FFFFFF

sob. yeah I was talking about Old Man Samurai actually but YEAH. HEY THERE ENJI

also is this entire hospital actually run by characters from Super Mario Bros though. first Yoshi and now this guy, come the fuck on that is not a coincidence

lmao they stuck him in another one of these cavernous creepy hospital rooms

wtf is it with Horikoshi and these giant fucking rooms lately. Kacchan’s in chapter 298, then Tomie’s colossal house furnished with like one table and a TV, and now this. and the weirdest thing about it though is that “huge space with nothing to fill it up” is like the exact opposite of what you’ll usually find in Japanese homes lol

so now Enji is just sitting there thinking things like “my head is fuzzy” and “I’m alive” lmao okay. not quite all there yet, huh. I’ll give you a minute

I’m so fucking curious as to who his first visitor is going to be omg. either way it’s going to be interesting af, and either way fandom is probably going to feel some way about it but OH WELL

okay now his thoughts are getting more coherent! and he’s remembering Touya, and feeling regret for freezing up and forcing Shouto to deal with everything instead

!!! OH HERE GOES BRACE YOURSELVES Y’ALL IT’S ABOUT TO GET SPICY

NO TOUYA PLEASE DON’T CRY HONEY NO PLEASE

ohhhhhhh man

okay, I mean I didn’t expect you to, but so instead then you’re just going to do... what? lie there and wallow in regret and self-pity for the rest of your life? son you know that’s not how we deal with our problems here in Shounen

though also, I totally do get it though. honestly, thinking on it, I probably would have been disappointed with any other response. but so this is where the rest of his family (including his adopted son) come into play now though, because like it or not they’re all in this thing together. and so friends, I am once again asking you WHO IS GOING TO BE THE ONE TO VISIT ENJI FIRST

AHHHHHHH

KRANCH!!!! OMG AND THE OTHERS ARE SO TINY NEXT TO HIM THAT I ALMOST DIDN’T SEE THEM AT FIRST. IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE TWENTY MILES AWAY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS REGULATION HOCKEY RINK OF A ROOM

holy shit I’m so excited lkjlklhlglkasdsjldfk

SDKFJLSKHLKJL

the way she has him by his collar lmaoooo. “lol nah you’re not going anywhere pal.” damn straight, siblings have to be ride or die in situations like this. banding together for survival. strength in numbers

OH MY STARS I’M JUST WARNING YOU NOW THAT I’M ABOUT TO DISSECT EVERY LAST REMAINING PANEL OF THIS CHAPTER PROBABLY YOU GUYS. WE COULD BE HERE A WHILE

love how Fuyu has absolutely no idea how to segue into THE SINGLE MOST AWKWARD CONVERSATION SHE’S EVER HAD, so she just GOES FOR IT in pure small talk mode like they’re meeting up for brunch somewhere

I KNOW IT’S A SMALL THING, BUT I APPRECIATE THAT THE FIRST THING ENJI ASKS IS WHETHER THEY’RE OKAY

lastly while I can’t wait for more of this delicious Natsu angst, I also just have to say that Enji has as much reason to cry right now as anyone on the planet. you can’t deny that being confronted by your not-dead-but-you-thought-he-was-dead son who’s all “SURPRISE DAD I GREW UP TO BE A MASS MURDERER AND I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING IS ALL YOUR FAULT AND NOW I’M GONNA MAIM YOUR OTHER KID” with a side order of “EVERYONE HATES YOU AND SOCIETY IS CRUMBLING AND NOTHING WILL EVER BE GOOD EVER AGAIN” is enough to bum pretty much anyone out. there’s a Pagliacci the Clown joke here somewhere. BUT DOCTOR, I AM THE NUMBER ONE HERO

oh man lol he is seriously falling apart

damn. like you guys, I’m sorry, go ahead and cancel me, but I do feel compassion for the man. it’s therapeutic for me to see an abuser actually feel remorse and be truly sorry and want to change and want to make it up to his family. and it’s also compelling as fuck to read a narrative about a family that’s trying to grapple with that, because let me tell you straight up, as someone who’s done a version of that song and dance -- it is exhausting. it is a piping hot mess. it’s a gigantic mishmosh of extremely volatile emotions that all somehow all contradict one another. love, hurt, hope, anger, betrayal, resentment, attachment, longing. it’s something you can both be desperate for and also want nothing at all to do with. and attempting to portray all of that and write about it is a monumental task, and one which Horikoshi has done so, so delicately thus far, and damn but I appreciate it. anyway, so I’m here and I’m ready for my latest helping of Todoroki Fam Feels you guys

GASP

oh man. OHMANOHMANOHMAN. CAN IT REALLY BE. IS THIS THE REDEMPTION ARC OF CHAPTERS 100 AND 200???

LMAO SHE’S ALL “WE ALL FEEL BAD YOU JACKASS STOP CRYING ABOUT IT”

LAY INTO HIM REI!! SORRY ENJI YOUR PITY PARTY HAS BEEN CANCELLED IN FAVOR OF A “SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT” PARTY COURTESY OF QUEEN ELSA OVER HERE. THE PEOPLE TOOK A VOTE AND WE WANT LESS WHINING AND MORE ACTION

oh my god look at this lady folks

NOTE THE HAIR BLOWING IN THE NONEXISTENT WIND. NOW WE KNOW WHERE SHOUTO GOT THIS POWER FROM

(ETA: btw guys, seeing Rei handle this crisis like an absolute champ despite everything she’s been through is everything, though. I’m reminded of Hawks’s line last week about people sometimes unexpectedly finding liberation when they’re backed into a corner. like things may be shit but goddammit her kiddos need her.)

THE CHAPTER IS ALREADY ENDING SOB, IT’S ONLY A 17-PAGER THIS WEEK, BUT GODDAMN WHAT A WAY TO CLOSE

oh my god. oh my god oh my god. AND FUCK YOU HORIKOSHI FOR CUTTING IT OFF THERE sob. it’s like each week the wait for the next chapter becomes more painful. the Todofam is about to get real, and on top of that Hawks is gonna crash the party at some point down the line, and on top of that we’re still waiting for Kacchan to have his own heartfelt discussion about What The Fuck Are We Supposed To Do Next with his best friend who’s currently in a coma. all I want to do with my life is read about these three things, and all I can do is simply wait as they are portioned out in agonizing, addicting little installments every week

anyway! tune in next time as we answer the question of whether or not fandom will finally run its train of logic all the way through to its natural conclusion and somehow manage to cancel Noted Abuse Apologist Todoroki Fucking Rei. don’t act like it can’t happen. you all know nothing is sacred lol. anyways but I’m ready for anything lol, bring it

[shinbyeol]

in true me fashion, i had too much going on to make it to opening but ‘sup party animals, it’s ya girl moon! ( s / h, 21+ )!! i’m here to bring y’all shin byeol, a lost bean who’s just trying to make it through without throwing up on this roller coaster called life 🤮 she’s generally very nice but y’know, fuckery in life shapes you as a person so she’s a bit jaded but like, who isn’t!! catch her on a monday morning and she’ll probably murder you but run into her as she pollutes the world with her Nth cigarette of the night and she’s more mellow 🥰 now to get the show on the road, drumroll pls for shenanigans under the cut........

shin byeol, 24, seoul resident but recently moved into maehwa (think....a month ish????) and just isa-ri in general

now you may be wondering why she’s there 🥴 same here buddy

tl;dr is that she used to be an idol trainee, jumped around many companies since she was 15 and was on a promising road to debut at her last company but she fucked around (literally) (i’m jk about that last part) and screwed up her achilles tendon

she got surgery and all should have been well but i mean, she injured herself when she was 20 and by the time she recovered 90% she was no longer at a good enough age to debut according to the company :////

ended up going to school instead and graduated from ehwa with a degree in communications and media studies (don’t ask me what this means)

should have been happy and moving on with her life but she still had a lot of trainee contacts or people who had already debuted in her circle which only seemed to cause her pain and made her feel like she failed at life 

heard about this quaint little countryside with a spacious sharehouse with cheap rent so she said fuck it, imma pack my shit up and go

didn’t really think this plan out, if you ask me, but she’s just vibing and trying to figure out what’s next

catch her making your coffee (possibly incorrectly but give her a break, it’s her second week 🙄) at dalkom café or if you happen to be wandering the premises, it’s likely she’ll be around with a camera in hand too 

personality-wise, she’s very straightforward and won’t do any of that sugar-coating business, it’s no nonsense with her and she’ll expect the same. snarky when she needs to be, bitchy because she can be, but if you have her on your side, she’s there for life 

currently occupying room 029, come bother her 😌

idk what else to put, it’s been a long day i’m 😴

plot ideas maybe????

you’re either on her floor, or above/below her and since you like sleeping with your window open, her disgusting cigarette smoke blows into your room and you’ve had enough

she’s out taking pictures and you happen to get in her frame - you want the photo, she’s not willing 🤕

someone from seoul that knew her back in her prime trainee days before she dropped off the face of the planet but o??? look who’s also here?????

her instagram is really just her life’s diary but somehow that intrigued you and suddenly you start seeing that she’s posting snapshots of very familiar areas.....wait, you’re both in isa-ri???

she’s allergic to pets (rip) and it’s her mission to find who in the sharehouse is out to get her by letting their pet roam free

gimme somebody she can have dumb 3am conversations with, like do aliens exist or why does elon musk want his child to be bullied in school

insert something about a relationship plot here blah blah blah we all know how this goes, but she isn’t in it for anything serious (or is she?????)

pls someone give her a coworker at the café 😭 #teamcantdoshit or #teamlifeoftheparty

she doesn’t have a car but some nice townspeople decided to lend her one for an adventure so now she’s strapping you in for a lil joy ride that has no real destination but that’s the point!!

ok idk man i’m supposed to be awake in 4 hours as i write this more like i slept for 3, so who knows what kind of garbage the above really is 😳 hmu either in the ims (pls pls don’t make this our main form of communication i beg you) for my discord or just drop a ❤️ and i’ll come to you so we can plot and get this party started 🤪

[fruitcoops]

If you’re up for more of a series could you possibly write the part of Remus recovering at home after leaving the game (the one with the stick to the face) and Sirius having to take care of him and all that?

Yes, I can! I’m so glad you guys are enjoying the continuation of something I wrote so long ago <3 Side note: I would give my left foot to be part of the Lions groupchat. Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for bruises and blood

Sirius was worried. Even though Remus claimed he felt fine, he was just fine, everything was fine, a small seed of doubt lingered in the back of his mind. He had dozed off in the car on the way home—Sirius’ heart had stuttered for a moment before the swelling-enhanced snores started. His phone lit up every few seconds, but he didn’t dare take his eyes off the road for even a millisecond, just in case.

Remus woke when the car stopped and immediately winced. “What’s wrong?” Sirius asked, taking the hand that rested on his thigh.

“Just hurts.” Remus kissed his knuckles as best he could. His skin felt strange, and the edge of the tape was an unfamiliar sensation next to the softness of his lips. Sirius collected their gear from the trunk, then helped him up the front steps; just as he went to unlock the door, he felt Remus’ hand tighten on his forearm. “I hate not being able to see well.”

Sirius kissed his temple. “That’s what you’ve got me for.”

Hattie stopped in her tracks as soon as the door opened, and Remus frowned. “Hatters? Where are you, sweet girl?”

“She’s here.” Sirius whistled for her and crouched, setting their bags aside while Remus sat crosslegged on the floor and held his arms out. Hattie’s tail wagged low, almost as if she was afraid; she glanced up at Sirius, who tilted his head back toward Remus. “Go on, mon chou, he’s not going to break.”

“C’mere,” Remus said softly, shifting in her direction. “C’mere, babycakes. I need some cuddles right now—there we go. Okay, Hat Trick, okay.”

Sirius carefully closed the door as Hattie climbed into Remus’ lap and let him hug her, resting her chin on his shoulder. “Good girl,” Sirius said softly. A quiet sniffle led to a flinch. “Re? What’s wrong?”

“I fucking love our dog.” His voice sounded even more clogged than before.

“Are you alright?”

“It really hurts.” A shuddering breath made Hattie nuzzled closer. “Hey, good girl. I love you.”

Sirius sat down next to them and wrapped his arm around Remus’ shoulder, tracing a pattern with his thumb. “Deep breaths. You can take more Tylenol in a few hours. Let’s go get some ice, yeah?”

“Can I stay here with her?”

“Of course.” Sirius kissed the top of his head and gave Hattie a gentle pet before walking into the kitchen and grabbing an ice pack out of the freezer, as well as a towel to wrap it. The last thing Remus needed was a freezer-burned bruise. They were in the same position when he came back, though Remus raised his head from her thick fur when he heard him coming. “I’m going to put it on your face, okay?”

“Okay.” Remus sighed when the ice pressed against his eye and one hand came up to cradle Sirius’, running carefully down to his wrist. “Love you.”

“I love you, too. I was thinking about making some soup if you want to hang here for a bit.”

Remus nodded silently, though his lower lip wobbled in the one spot it wasn’t puffy. Sirius carefully transferred the ice pack to his hand and ran his thumbs over Remus’ cheekbones—usually they were sharp enough to cut glass, but now they were purple and overheated under his touch. He kissed each one before going back to the kitchen.

After grabbing some soup from the freezer and turning the stove on, he finally took his phone out. You Have: 20 New Messages

Message From: J ;)

Did you get home safe?

Call me when u can

Lil is worried ☹

Tell Re we send big hugs

 Message From: Tremz <3

Lmk when you get home

Leo is making soup for u

Bringing it over demain matin and won’t let us have any :(((

 Message From: Bliz

Nat sends her love for Re

Remember ice packs and NO IBUPROFEN DUMBASS

Ily

 Message From: Dumo

Sa mère est inquiète

Send text when home safe, love you

 Message From: Walkie Talkie :P

U okay? Sending lots of love

Lmk if you need soup or smth <3

 Message From: Hope <3

Thank you for the call honey <3

Tell Remus not to look at his phone and keep us updated please

Love you so much <3

 Message From: Baby Rookie

I’m bringing y’all soup and that’s a threat

NO IBUPROFEN OR I’LL TP UR HOUSE

Big hugs for Re <333

 Sirius laughed under his breath.

Message To: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS FUCK YES

Home safe. Re is fine, getting lots of cuddles from Hattie. Thanks for the messages.

 He sent a few more texts to the individual people and, after a quick conversation with Hope, stirred the soup until it began to bubble. Remus entered the kitchen a few seconds after he took two bowls out of the cupboard. “Smells good.”

“It does. Are the lights bugging you?”

“Nah. At least I can see.”

Sirius poured out two portions and set one in front of Remus, handing him a spoon as well. “Careful, it’s hot.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “Can’t cook it cold.”

Sirius’ phone began to ping several times in rapid succession and he turned the ringer off quickly, checking the screen to make sure there wasn’t an emergency. “Leo’s bringing us soup in the morning.”

“Neat. Is everyone else okay?” Remus blew the steam off his spoon.

“The guys are all worried about you.” Sirius glanced back up, only to see Remus staring down at his soup bowl, frozen in place. “Re? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“Is this my mom’s?” he asked in a small voice.

Sirius wracked his brain. “…I think so? It was in the freezer. Is that okay?”

He nodded silently and a tear dripped down his cheek. “ ‘s fine.”

“Are you sure?” He reached across the counter and pressed Remus’ hand between his own, wiping his cheek dry.

“God, I miss them. You called her, right? To let her know I’m fine?”

“I did. She told me to give you something.”

Remus’ eyebrows drew together and he looked up. “What?”

Sirius scooted around the table and wrapped his arms around Remus, pulling him in for a tight hug and pressing his face into his curls. “This.”

“Thank you.” Remus went a little boneless against him. “I needed that.”

“I bet. Do you want me to give them another call so you can talk to her?”

Remus squinted at the clock. “It’s pretty late.”

“They’re still awake.”

“Could we?” Remus dug around in his pocket and handed it to Sirius, who dialed Hope’s number and put it on speakerphone.

The call connected on the first ring. “Hello?”

“Hey, mom.”

“Are you okay, love?” Hope sounded like she was on the verge of tears already. “You sound a little funny.”

“A little banged up, but I’m alright.” Remus gripped Sirius’ hand tightly. “We heated up the soup you left us.”

“Oh, I’m so glad. Have you taken any Tylenol? Ibuprofen is bad for bruises, but I don’t know how much pain you’re in.” Her voice hitched at the end of the sentence.

“Mom, it’s okay,” Remus said gently. “It’s okay, I promise I’m fine. It looked worse than it was.”

Looks pretty bad to me. “Hestia took really good care of him,” Sirius said instead. “We got home safe and we’re icing up now.”

“What’s the healing look like? Sirius said you didn’t have a concussion.”

Thank you, Remus mouthed before turning back to the phone. “About two weeks, mostly for the little scrapes.”

The ‘little scrapes’ were held together by strips of medical tape, but once again, Sirius kept his thoughts to himself. “The blood was just a regular old nosebleed and a cut on the lip.”

Hope paused and they heard a new voice in the background. “Alright. Is it okay if Jules and your father say goodnight?”

“Yeah, totally.” Remus sniffled and Sirius silently handed him a tissue.

The line crackled for a moment. “Re?”

“Hey, buddy!” All trace of pain and exhaustion disappeared from his voice. “How’s it going?”

“Are you still bleeding?”

“Nope, my nose is a-okay. I’ve got a pretty cool black eye, though. Kinda look like a pirate.”

“The announcers were saying you were really hurt.” Jules’ voice wavered and Sirius’ heart broke a bit.

“Well, they were wrong.” Remus leaned closer to the phone, as if he could reach right through it. “In two weeks I’ll be good as new. I was really lucky.”

“Okay,” Jules still sounded unsure. “Mom says I have to go to bed.”

“Yeah, it’s late, buddy. Sleep well. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

There was a rustling noise. “Remus?”

“Hey, dad.” The exhaustion returned and Sirius rubbed his back gently, letting him lean on his shoulder.

After a moment of hesitation, Lyall sighed. “Alright, they’re in the other room. What actually happened?”

“High stick from the Ravens caught me in the face. No concussion, just bruises and swelling.”

“Do I want to ask Sirius to send me a picture?”

Remus winced. “Probably not.”

He sighed again. “I’m sorry we can’t come out and see you.”

“Don’t worry about it, dad,” Remus said softly. “Really, I’m okay. It sucks, it hurts, I’ll ice it and be fine.”

“Sirius, are you there?”

“I’m here.”

“If he starts pulling some ‘go back to practice early’ bullshit—”

“Dad—”

“—don’t let him. If you have to lock him in the bathroom, I promise to cover for you.”

“Yes, sir,” Sirius laughed.

Lyall chuckled on the other end as Remus groaned. “Love you.”

“Love you, too. If Sirius locks me in a bathroom, I’m citing you in the court case.”

“There won’t be enough witnesses if he does it right. Sleep well, kiddo. Thanks for calling.”

“Love you,” Remus said again as the call ended. He blew out a long breath and leaned his forehead on Sirius’ chest. “Thank you for that.”

“Ne rien, mon loup. You should eat and then take a shower.”

“Are you saying I smell?” Remus teased.

“Yes, I am. I also think you’ll feel better if you do.”

They ate in silence; both were hungry, so it wasn’t long before Remus walked carefully up the stairs. Sirius checked the groupchat as he poured himself a third bowl of soup. You Have: 7 New Messages.

Message From: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS FUCK YES

DETAILS CAP

That is the blandest fucking response I’ve ever read

I’m guessing y’all are alive then???

Y’all

Haha y’all

Ok gator boy

Give Hattie lots of kisses from us and also GIVE US DETAILS

 Message To: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS FUCK YES

What do you want to know??? We got home, ate soup, called parents, and now Re is showering

You’re so fucking nosy jfc

Also cut Rookie some slack it’s hard being so far from his swamp

 Message From: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS FUCK YES

From the bottom of my heart, go fuck yourself.

He doesn’t have to he has Remus

Pots I’m going to remove your kneecaps

 Sirius paused just before responding. Despite the quiet of the house, he couldn’t hear the shower running. “Re?”

“Up here.”

“Did you take a shower already?”

“Not yet.”

The bathroom door was ajar and the light was on when he entered their bedroom; Remus stood at the sink, staring into the mirror as he felt along the edges of the butterfly tape at his lip. “Did something happen?”

“It’s worse than I thought.” Sirius stepped inside and joined him, staring at their reflections. The stripes that marked the stick’s edges had turned almost indigo since they left the rink; no less than six pieces of tape decorated the places between mottled bruises. Remus reached up to touch his cheekbone and Sirius guided his hand back down.

“Poking it won’t help.”

“Two weeks, huh?”

“That’s what Hestia told me.”

“Will you help me get the tape off?”

Sirius patted the edge of the counter and Remus pushed himself up on it, leaning forward for easy access. The first one was easy—a small cut just below his brow. It slid away without an issue and Sirius pressed a gentle kiss to the spot, then moved on to the next one. They fell into a rhythm—one side, second side, slow pull, and a kiss, until only two were left.

Remus hissed in pain as he lifted the edge of the tape across the bridge of his nose and Sirius shushed him softly, moving to the other side. “Two more, sweetheart.”

“Just rip it off.”

Sirius gave him a look. “Absolutely not.”

“I’ll do it.”

“No, you won’t, because that would be a stupid idea.”

Remus huffed, but didn’t protest. His jaw ticked as Sirius pulled the last bit off. “Can we leave the lip one?”

“Not unless you want an infection.”

“You’d be a good PT.”

“I would be the worst PT.” Sirius worked the inner edge free. “I know, like, ten stretches and basic first aid. My bedside manner sucks, too, and I’d pass the fuck out if someone asked me to set a bone for them.”

“Good points all around,” Remus laughed.

The motion pulled the last of the tape off and Sirius held it up with a grin. “All done. Hey, your swelling is down. I can see your eyes now.”

The slight gleam of amber brightened as Remus smiled. “I thought I could see a little better.”

“Do you want company?”

Remus thought for a moment, prodding the cut on his lip with his tongue. “As much as I’d love to invite you in, I think I need a second to myself.”

“Cool.” Sirius kissed his cheek and stepped out of the bathroom. “Yell if you need anything. I’ll be in bed.”

He made a pit stop downstairs to gather Hattie and bring Remus’ ice pack up, and by the time he finally slid between the sheets it was nearly midnight. Remus came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, looking happier but still incredibly worn out. He took another Tylenol and snuggled up against Sirius’ side with a quiet hum, laying the ice pack over his face once again.

“Sleep tight, Re.”

“Love you.”

[cowboymirio]

They Want To Get A Pet - Headcanons

Summary: Your S/O wants a pet and adorable antics ensue~ 

Characters: Hizashi Yamada, Taishiro Toyomitsu, Aizawa Shouta, Eijiro Kirishima, Tenya Iida, Hanta Sero, Takami Keigo

Contains: Gender neutral reader, lotsa fluff, Reader has arachnophobia in Sero’s part! Crackheadery in Aizawa’s part

Hizashi Yamada - Cockatoo

📣 You guys totally didn’t plan on getting a cockatoo, or any pet for that matter. Y’all just moved into your new place for christ’s sake! 

📣 But after a visit to a lil exotic pet store downtown, your plans changed. And now you’re stuck with a bird with the intelligence of a toddler

📣 According to Yama, the bird just ‘called to him’ and by that, he means the bird literally screamed at him

📣 They’ve got the most bougie cage ever like MTV cribs hit them up. 

📣But he doesn’t spend too much time in there as you guys let him roam around the house all day until it’s time for bed or if you leave for a while

📣 If they’re not attached to Yama’s shoulder, you often find them waddling around the house, picking things up off of the floor and throwing them, and squawking at you when they want attention

📣 Sounds like someone else you know huh…

📣 Yama and the bird dance together so much omg. They do the lil head bobs together, he’ll blast some music for them and they go to town he even chirps along to the lyrics omg-

📣 He doesn’t even have to teach them words, they just pick them up on their own… and then never stop saying them… ever 

📣 ‘YEAHHHHH’ then from the other side of your home you hear another ‘YEAAHHHHH’

📣 Make it stop

📣 You taught them cuss words for the shits and giggles though

📣 Yama finds it funny too though because he’s got that 8-year-old sense of humor… you all do to be honest 

📣 But when the bird chooses to sit on your shoulder you bet your ass Yamada’s gonna fawn over the two of you for the next hour :’) 

Taishiro Toyomitsu - Pyrenean Mastiff

🍢 Really wants a pet 

🍢 But also really scared of crushing them so…

🍢 You guys settle for a big ‘ol Pyrenean mastiff!

🍢 And when I say they’re big they are big like… I mean knock you over if you’re not careful big

🍢 They’re literally perfect for each other

🍢 They’re both massive units, insanely adorable, and they for sure share the same appetite

🍢 Speaking of food, he makes sure he’s feeding them the best of the best foods even if that means y’all are making it yourselves

🍢 Not as afraid to roughhouse with them as he thought he’d be

🍢 Lots of fetching, frisbee throwing, ‘wrestling’ even?? They’re so rowdy and for what? My heart, that’s what <3 

🍢 The dog definitely sleeps on top of him I don’t make the rules

🍢 Mf just hops on up, curls up and they’re ready to go like--- Is that- is that not y’know,,, HEAVY?? 

🍢 I mean,,, you sleep on top of him too so I honestly don’t think Tai cares too much

Aizawa Shota - Cat

💤 You guys already know…

💤 If he were to get any kind of pet it’d be a cat.

💤 They’re chill, independent, and sometimes want attention. Just how he likes it.

💤 Well… that’s how he thought that things should be but-

💤 BOY was he wrong

💤 After living together for quite a while, stalking animal shelter websites for the perfect cat, and finding the right one, you bring them home!

💤 When you met them at the shelter, they were a sweet lil baby with an aloof attitude that you both fell in love with

💤 But when you brought them home… They became an absolute crackhead.

💤 Forget having ANYTHING on the tables or countertops. It’s on the floor now thanks to them. Fuck your water glass, fuck those papers you were helping Aizawa grade, they’re gone! Shredded! Positively destroyed :)

💤 Forget having free hands, they’re literally attached to his side and won’t stop rubbing against his hands while he’s grading papers and such

💤 If you’re not watching his little dude/ette will try and eat food WHILE YOU’RE COOKING oh my fuckingf god

💤 Heaven forbid this dude tries to leave the room. They’ll ‘cry’ until he comes back.

💤 ‘Go to your other parent, they’ll give you attention.’ ‘mEEEOWWW’ ‘Oh my god fine come here.’

💤 Honestly though he really appreciates when they’re down to sleep. Their purrs and their cuddles are very appreciated

💤 And literally just imagine seeing them curled up on his chest while they sleep on the couch ;; im so somft

Eijiro Kirishima - Bearded Dragon

🏮 This man wants to get THE manliest pet of all,,, a bearded dragon

🏮 He probably saw one on a movie or something and immediately came to you like

🏮 ‘Okay but we neeeeed one just look at their lil beards!! And their tongues!!!’

🏮 You tell him to put it off for a bit, do some research, and see if he still wants one later

🏮 Homeboy is DEDICATED so he puts in the time and ofc he still wants one after the fact

🏮 After a good amount of time, he comes back with a books worth of reasons as to why you guys should get one and you’re honestly shocked

🏮 You just can’t say no to those eyes </33 so you oblige and go out and get one from an owner who’s surrendering it (Because we don’t support chain pet stores in this household)

🏮 You guys can’t pick a name for them so for the longest time they’re just called ‘the lizard’ or ‘little fella’ or whatever else you guys come up with

🏮 Anyways- he’s infatuated with them it’s so funny. He spends all of his freetime watching them get used to their new habitat like,,,, all of it. It’s 1am and he’s just watching it hang out and you’re like ‘Kiri if you love it so much then why don’t you sleep with it’ (not in that way ya nasty)

🏮 HE TAKES IT SERIOUSLY

🏮 Next thing you know he hops out of bed, brings them back and puts them between your pillows.

🏮 Lil homie’s just vibin there.

🏮 You’re done tbh but if Kiri’s happy then you’re happy <33

🏮 Absolutely lets it sit on his shoulders when he’s walking around the house

🏮 He has a leash for them and he takes them out during the warmer months

🏮 Dedicates a good portion of his day to clean out their habitat when need be

🏮 Their relationship is just so cute you can’t help but melt every time you see them together

Tenya Iida - Tropical Fish

🌟 After a particularly rough finals season, you figure that Iida needs to have some sort of hobby that can help him chill out, but also has some sort of brainwork in there because that’s your boyfriend for ya

🌟 You suggest getting some fish!

🌟 He rly said ‘I’ll think about it’ then proceeded to do a shit ton of research on it because he literally does that every time you express interest in something. King behavior!!

🌟 You guys settle on getting a few tropical fish and a super nice fish tank for ‘em

🌟 He lets you name all of them and of course you have to name one ‘Iida junior’ like how could you not-

🌟 But seriously though he finds it so endearing and sweet ;;

🌟 You can’t tell me he doesn’t buy all of the nicest shit he can for their tank too.

🌟 Fresh aquatic plants, huge rocks for them to swim through, a nice ass heater, the WORKS

🌟 He’s gotta treat yall’s babies right like what did you expect

🌟 Constantly checking their water to see if it’s alright for them

🌟 He’s usually the one to feed them so whenever he comes up to the tank, they all crowd up by the top like doggies when their owner comes home omg

🌟 He finds the noises from the tank to be really good background noise when he’s reading or studying

🌟 Iida’s honestly glad that you suggested to get fish ‘cause taking care of them is such a relaxing hobby and lord knows he needs some of those

Hanta Sero - Rose Haired Tarantula

🧵 So he wants a Rose Hair Tarantula...

🧵 ‘Absolutely not’ - You, 2021 (sorry if you actually like spiders lol, if a singular person wants hcs where y’all both like spiders please @ me)

🧵 Lots and lots of begging and promises

🧵 ‘You won’t even have to clean the cage, I’ll do it!!’ ‘We can keep them in the spare room’ ‘c’mooon pretty please???’

🧵 He had to bust out the puppy eyes for you to say yes

🧵 And with that, you’re now the proud parents of a demon rose hair tarantula!

🧵 ‘We can keep them in the spare room’ your ass. He lets it climb all over him while he’s walking around the house!!

🧵 Not you actively avoiding him when you see them coming down towards you

🧵 ‘But I wanna kiss!!’ ‘Kiss your tarantula smh’

🧵 After he realizes he’s not gonna get any with his lil buddy (yes, that’s what he calls them) he tries his best to help you familiarize with em

🧵 I’m sorry but he’s trying so hard not to laugh as you freak out when they crawl up your arm

🧵 He takes things more seriously after that though. He’ll give you lil words of encouragement, back pats and such

🧵 He’s so happy that you become… tolerable after a while of you guys just hangin’ out that you can’t help but feel proud too.

🧵 You still can’t stand spiders though.  

Keigo Tamaki - Bunnies

🐤 Just like Aizawa, he wants something that’s quiet and can be independent since his schedule is a bit busy but he still wants to have a lil buddy to love on

🐤 You’re actually the one to bring up the idea to get a bunny, it’s part of a long list of ideas you had come up with, but for whatever reason, the bunny idea just stuck with him

🐤 You two hop (im a comedic genius hi <33) on over to the nearest rescue you can find, and browse through the enclosures looking for the perfect bunny for you guys 

🐤 Ok so like- here’s the thing,,,

🐤 You totally didn’t plan on getting two bunnies… But you guys found a pair that were literally inseparable and y’all had to have them

🐤 He’s already calling them ‘Our children’ straight off the bat like- y’all JUST got home and he’s already giving you baby fever UGH

🐤 He bunny-proofs the FUCK out of the house so they can roam freely ‘cause he didn’t just get these babies to stick them in a cage smh

🐤 Will lay on the floor and just watch them romp around cus he finds it relaxing and funny 

🐤 Also please get on the floor and watch them with him. Prime cuddling hours

🐤 They burrow under his wings… I repeat- THEY BURROW UNDER HIS WINGS

🐤 They WILL flop together don’t @ me 

🐤 They (and by they I mean all three of them)  flop on you when they want attention can I jst--- *cries*

🐤 Have fun trying to get up, this is your life now. 

🐤 But are you really complaining? You shouldn’t be smh 

[gaylactic-fire]

The Links ranked by how likely they are to go out buy milk, disappear for 9 hours and come back with a raccoon.

Oddly specific, I love it.

1: Hyrule- The reason he was missing for 9 hours was because he got lost on the way to Walmart. On his impromptu adventure he also made a friend : ). Just Hyrule tingz.

2: Wild- Once again ranking high bc y’all keep asking the most outlandish gremlin shit and literally how could I not rank Wild high.

3: Twilight- 9 hours may be a bit excessive but you KNOW this dude would pick up a raccoon and go “Mmm yes. Forbidden cat.” And bring it home and put a lil collar on it and call it Joe or smt.

4: Sky- Again, he wouldn’t go missing for 9 hours (unless he took a nap on the way) but he’d see a raccoon and be like “Hey little remlit, are you lost buddy?”

5: Wind- He’s far more likely to get caught up because he took a de-tour to PetSmart to steal some goldfish and then release them into a nearby lake yelling “You’re free!” (Disclaimer do not do this).

6: Legend- Dude would disappear for 9 hours for funsies but if he saw a raccoon he’d be like “We have a rabbit at home” (The rabbit at home: Ravio).

7: Four- Four wouldn’t disappear for 9 hours. Nor would he try and tame a raccoon. He would however try and pet it. It probably wouldn’t go well.

8: Warriors- *gay voice* “Dirty little creature. I wouldn’t let it near me. This scarf is designer.” But he would definitely spend extra time at the shop buying useless things.

9: Time- Once again Father™️ has to do his duty and hold back a pleading Twi and Wild as he makes some important speech about rabies.

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

Hey hey!! How are you? I hope you're doing well 💛 sooo I was scrolling down on tags and than I saw one of your matchups and I'd like to have a romantic matchup if it's ok ^^

Here I go heheh

About my appearance: Height is 5'3, I've got long and wavy auburn hair, brown eyes, small waist + lil bit thick thighs aand small hands

About my personality: I've got a really mixed personality kdwjbednjds (Sun: Aquarius, Rising: Leo, Moon: Scorpio, Intj) I can be either calm or chaotic. Actually it depends on people I'm hanging out with. I can be blunt from time to time, most of the time, I don't describe myself a very talkative one but I really am a good listener and I like talkative people. But when I start talking? I literally won't shut my mouth ☠️ I am a generous, supportive and caring person. Also a lazy one enbdndndnd and a sarcastic one 👀 what can I say? I love teasing people I love heheh

Hobbies ect: I was a vb player in highschool 2 years ago and a kickboxer. I can't do something without listening music, I can't live without music!! Also, I can play guitar and ukulele and I can sing, I love drawing :> I used to skate and I like swimming (But at the same time I'm afraid of ocean -only deep parts- and fishes.) I'm afraid of butterflies KSBEBNSBS I DON'T LIKE THEM but I love bees they're so cute heheh anyways. Oh btw my love language is absulately physical touch, and surprise!! I am a touch starved person 👌🏻 I sometimes buy food for street animals, I can't stay put not petting them if I see one ksjenejsnsnbs my friends are tired of this and once I saw a cat or dog:

Me: *gasp* AWWW HEY THERE BUDDY!!

Friend: Ah shit here we go again.

Heheh

That's all, I hope it's not too long. Have a good day love youu 💛

Well shit. Sorry, I forgot adding: I can't stand selfishness and injustice. And I like helping people. And as you can see, I am a smart-dumb one... Also I can be very insecure about myself, my mood swings sometimes and I love sleeping heheh that's all (really) sorry for spamming your asks 🤦🏻‍♀️ oh God I'm such a dumbass

Bokuto Koutarou

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐘𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐞𝐭

Ok

So he met you at the park

He was there just feeding the duckies

(I strongly believe this man has a routine of going to the park just to feed the ducks)

And omg

What a coincidence

There you were

Also feeding those majestic birds

You guys started talking about feeding wildlife and whatnot

And I feel like mid-conversation he hit you with the "so... you come here often" line

Cuz oh boy did this man think you were gorgeous

And he really liked talking to you!

After that day it sorta became a habit for you two to meet up at the park just to hang

Most of the time you both would bring food to feel all the little park critters

But you guys would really just chat

And on occasion play on the actual playground 444

It didn't take long for Bokuto to realize his feelings for you

I mean come on

He literally went to the park almost EVERY DAY to see you

If that's not love I don't know what is

And since he's just a bold person in general

He just straight up asked you to go out with him

And you being the sarcastic little shit you are responded with "jeez at least take me on a date first"

Jokingly of course

But Bokuto took you so seriously 444

So then he proceeded to ask you out on a date

I mean you still said yes sooooo

Things worked out in the end

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮

He loves how your energy is very flexible

Like one minute you can be all crazy with him

And the next minute you could both just be cuddling on the couch in silence

Either option sounds like a good time to him tho 👀

He loves that your love language is physical touch

I think everyone agrees on the fact that Bokuto is a VERY touchy person

So the fact that your cool with that AND he gets physical affection in return is great 👌

Ok I’m sorry but it needs to be said...

He loves your thighs 😀

Idk man I just see him as a thigh guy

#ThickThighsSaveLives

𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐓𝐨 𝐃𝐨 𝐓𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

Ok so y’all still go to the park and feed the duckies

And that is one of the MANY MANY things he loves to do with you

But he also likes to go skating with you

Roller skating

Skateboarding

Ice Skating

Ok maybe a little less with the ice skating....

He just can’t keeps on slipping ok >:(

But honestly y’all could be doing anything together

He just likes spending time with you ☺️

𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐜

Bokuto and you have opposite fears

Your afraid of butterflies

Bokuto loves butterflies!

Bu he’s afraid of bees 😀

I think if he sees a be he either books it in the opposite direction

Or just freezes

He always asks you to draw him something

And he keeps every drawing you give him!

After bragging about it to everyone on the team of course 😌

This man will NOT allow you to be insecure about yourself

He just won’t

He’s always hyping you up and complementing you

He thinks your beautiful and he’s gonna make sure you think that too

𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲

When Virgo and Aquarius join together in a love match, they bring out either the best or worst in one another.

Virgo has a more rigid, theory-oriented approach to life. The poetic Aquarian approach, on the other hand, knows nothing of the scientific world. But these two lovers may actually thrive on their differences; they grow together as they learn about one another.

Aquarius tends to passionate and temperamental while Virgo operates more methodically, and with little fuss. Virgo is very organized and levelheaded. Aquarius is modern and finds routine unthinkable. Virgo will find Aquarius exciting but may become annoyed trying to probe this artist’s mind. Aquarius will be upset by Virgo’s criticism, but will find the solid base Virgo provides very appealing.

𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐀𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜

Nature

[bakusoftie]

How about Deku, Katsuki and Todoroki being turned into a cat ( or whatever pet you want ) for a week and their fem s/o taking care of them (like petting,feeding,and playing with them) until they turn back ?

this is so cute omfg

y’all

i fucking love cats

Izuwu, Bakubabe, and Icycutie turning into cats for a week

🥦 izuwu 🥦

apparently some general studies student hated class 1-A so bad that they used their quirk to turn the innocent lil deku into a tiny white munchkin cat with his emerald green eyes and three black spots of fur on his cheeks

he looked so ADORABLE AHHHH

you were walking towards the dorms when you hear the cries of a kitten and looked down at your feet to find the cutest cat you have ever laid eyes on

“Hey there lil buddy!,” you cooed as you picked the ball of fluff up and rested him on your chest.

you thought he reminded you of your crush from the color of his wide green eyes

you couldn’t stop yourself from pecking kisses all over his fluffy face

izuku was sent into a flurry of purrs as he nuzzled his head into your warm chest

he felt kind of bad since you had no idea it was him but he felt so safe and complete being snuggled in your arms and he never wanted to leave

you snook the cute ass fur ball in your room, not before raiding the kitchen for a bowl of milk and leftover pork cutlet bowl that belonged to Denki (it’s okay you left him some money for McNuggets)

you laid the stubborn kitten on your bed but he kept wanting to bury his head in your warmth

“Awww, I’m gonna name you...Deku!,”

the kitten raised his head when he heard that and started licking your hand as if he was giving you little kitty kisses

“You must like that name,huh? It’s because you remind me of him...because you both are so cute!!”

Izuku crawls into your lap and nuzzles his head against your thighs and thinks ‘damn this is the life’

he would never get to do this when he returns to his human form so he for sure will milk the fuck out of this

when your hand comes down to scratch his neck, he swears he has reached heaven as his purring increases and he lets out a little “prrt”

He’s fucking love it

Until he sees you getting undressed...

Then he bulldozes his face into your pillow and let’s out a series of ‘meows’ that kinda sound like his muttering

If you stroke his fur while he eats, he feels like he’s going to combust from joy please don’t stop

6 days later when you’re so used to having this little kitten follow you everywhere and giving you cuddles, you also start to wonder why izuku hasn’t been coming to class lately

until one night when you and Izukitty are cuddling, him being curled into a ball on your boobies

And you feel the fuzzy warmth on your chest start to get heavier

uh

two questions

where did your cat go?

WHY IS IZUKU NAKED AND STRADDLING YOUR WAIST

Izuwu is so flustered and he can’t hardly get a word out except...

“M-Meow?”

💥kitsuki bakukitty💥

ma there's a weird-looking fucking cat outside

seriously...bakugou as a cat is fucking frightening

do not give this fucker CLAWS

well somebody did

and bakugou was fucking pissed

he couldn’t do anything for himself and his quirk wouldn’t even fucking work

not to mention he keeps hacking up disgusting fucking hairballs

it was your turn to take the dorm’s trash out when you see a

sort of cute-looking?

ash-blonde cat with sharp red eyes staring into your soul.

THIS FUCKER POUNCED ON YOUR LEG

CLAWS DIGGING INTO YOUR FLESH

he is literally ‘my cat from hell’

But you thought his aggressive actions just meant he was an abused stray that needed to be nutured

uh bitch

you was w r o n g

you also thought his fur and eyes kinda looked like your crush, Katsuki

so of course,

you named the kitty

katsukitty

he did not wike it

you got so many cat scratches BITCH YOU STARTING TO LOOK LIKE VICTOR ZSASZ

you googled “how to tame an agressive cat” on wikihow and it said to spend time with the cat and play with him so

you took that bitch to your room

and got out a ball of yarn and a laser pointer

“let the chaos begin, katsukitty 😈”

let me just tell you that this bitch’s meows sound like he’s being fucking drowned like

he’s so ugly LMAOASKKS

but the angry little kitten gets used to you and rubs his head your hand as he gets ready to ATTack and nibble the fuck out of your finger

you text kiri to come over and meet your new little friend and

the moment he smells the stench of another male coming up into his territory (aka you)

he fucking asshole

bites a fucking chunk out of kiri’s lightening mcqueen crocs

kiri: gEt yOur fUckinG cAt, BiTch

you: he don’t bite 🙂

kiri: yES hE dO

im so sorry kiri but

those crocs were ugly anyway

katsukitty did you a favor

bakugou is such an asshole cat like he literally jumped up on your dresser for the sole purpose of knocking your limited edition Best Jeanist Funko POP to the floor

yOu shiTTy BitcH

you had to get a spray bottle full of water after he scratched up the All Might t-shirt that Izuku bought you for your birthday

jealous heaDASS

he won’t let anyone inside your room

I mean you saw what he did to kiri’s crocs

So when mineta thought he would be slick and sniff your panties while you were in the shower

Katsukitty didn’t even have to touch the fucker

he just growled and mineta shit his pants

he protecc

he attacc

but most importantly

he a snacc

speaking of snacks,,,

if you try to feed him that gross ass canned cat food

he will fuck your ass up

don’t even think about it

although...he was considering it 😳

but no

once you accidentally dropped some sriracha on the floor and his ass lapped that shit up

you swore to god that isn’t healthy for cats to eat but

you still gave him a whole bowl full

because he made him happy

and you could finally pet him while he ate without getting slice and diced

that’s how most your days were like until the end of the week when you were coming to your room after making Katsukitty a tiny version of Bakugou’s costume

but what you were met with was a naked Bakugou (with only a ball of yard to cover his privates) on your bed

“I’m going to get you back for calling me fucking ‘Katsukitty’ for a week,dumbass”

💙 IcyCutie ❤️

oh this defenseless baby

he has no clue how this happened to him but the moment he sees you, he has the urge to rub his head against your leg?

and he does

you look down when you feel something soft and furry brushing against your ankle

it’s this cute ass slender white cat with an orange spot that covers his left eye and head. His eyes are two different colors and you think he is the cutest thing to ever grace this earth

He’s literally many the ‘🥺’ face and

Your uwus have been

s n a t c h e d

Todorokitty wishes he could communicate with you somehow and tell you that it’s him but then you’re putting him up and holding him tightly against your breasts and

😳 big boobs? small boobs? no boobs? he do not care

his brain just goes: tiddy

honestly you could do whatever you want with him and he wouldn’t care

he’s kinda one of those cats that just want to sleep

he’s such an lazy cat like

just hold him and lay with him please

even as a cat, he is just so touchstarved

the only moment he shows any feral activity is when you brought some Zaria soba for yourself and nasty ass fish for him

this bitch yeeted the fish off the plate and when you’ve gone to go clean it up

THIS BITCH PUTS HIS FURRY ASS HEAD INSIDE THE BOWL

bitch almost drowned in that shit

feed him

peasant

he definitely gets used to you taking care of him and being treated like he’s special and loved because he never got that before so there’s times where he just stares at your with wide eyes and paws at your tummy

he gets the best sleep of his life being cushioned by your body

you are his bed now

sometimes he’ll leave the room and come back to leave you “gifts”

oh

oh god

is that a fucking hamster?

😳 oh no

that’s koda’s hamster

“I understand that you were trying to do a good thing but you have committed an atrocity”

just wait until you get this hoe on some catnip 😈

normally he’s such a calm and collected kitty but once you sprinkle some of that good kush

he go ‘aRrrrOowwww’

he’s basically banging his head on the carpet trying to snort this shit the best he can

you and todorokitty have some good times and some bad times

but you do miss actually Todoroki

it makes you sad some nights because you thought he might be avoiding you

when he sees you sad, it reminds him of his mom tbh and he never wants you to feel this way,,especially if he’s literally right in front you

he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and put tiny kitten licks all over your face

👅 aaaulghh

the next day, you walked into your room after a trying day of school and flopped onto your bed where you thought your precious kitten was so you went to pet the little guy

except you were met with flesh

and i oop

😟

“are you naked? ewwwww.”

Shouto had no fucking shame

He just pulled you into his arms like nothing changed

“Shut up and let me love you, kitten”

[jungshookz]

baby, you can drive my car |(mechanic!yoongi)

→ pairing: min yoongi x reader 

→ genre: mechanic!au, spoiltbrat!y/n (++ inexperienced y/n as hiGHLy requested hehe), 6 greasy bois, a taste of richboy!jin, a vintage mercedes benz named beeper, usual dose of crackheadiness, touch of angst, sprinkle of fluff, and bts (big time smut) ((i love recycling this joke don’t come for me)) (((thigh-riding)))

→ trigger warning: there is a brief mention of blood so tread lightly if you feel queaSy about that! 

→ wordcount: 24.6k magic in the air 

→ summary: welcome to min mechanics - what can i do for you today, doll?

→ note: ooh BOY this took me a while! i’m sorry it took me so long to publish this but i hope this bad boy (i’m talking about the fic itself anD mechanic!yoongi) makes up for it! mechanic!yoongi has been in the works for a while... thank you to every single one of you who contributed each of your own lil ideas and helped to create the chArming tattoo-sleeve man we all fuLLY fell in love with. seriously y’all i could not have done this without you!! i ain’t gon lie i was going to post this on the day of the comeback but i think i needed a day to just.,.,, SCREAM and listen to the album.,.,,.  (and also i was still editing it yikes) ((and also what do u guys think of the new albUM hELLO)) so here it is twO days after the comeback!!!!!!! i hope i gave you sufficient time to recover from the new album but if not oH well what can ya do!!! also i’m really friCkin nervous for some reason but nonetheless enjoy the ride! ( 灬♥ 3 ♥灬)

pst if u wanna talk to y/n or yoongi u know what to do ;-)

(gif isn’t mine!)

(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesn’t work on mobile :// i am sorry don’t attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))

you know what

you could totally get used to this being an adult thing

you finally get to live in your own place

you finally get to eat whatever the heck you wanna eat

and most importantly

you finally get a car

yes, you’ll admit, you’re a little behind with the whole car thing

most of your friends already got their licenses befoRe becoming adults but so what if you were a little slow!!! you were just living life as a teenager!!!! there was no rush

let’s not beat around the bush here

you are: a spoilt brat

like unbelievably so

when you were younger all you’d have to do is point at something and your parents would immediately be like ….aight

now that you’re older it’s kinda the same except they’ve just given you a bunch of credit cards so now you don’t have to ask anyone you can just go out and get it yourself

but this car

this sweet sweet car that belongs to you

(to be moRe specific it’s a 1962 mercedes benz baby blue convertible that you’ve affectionately named beeper)

((you knoW that shit be fancy when it’s from the dang 60s))

this is the first BIG purchase you’ve made and you’re feeling pretty proud of yourself anD you’re feeling extra adult-y  

anyways you’re heading back to your penthouse now because it’s been a busy day!!

you had class in the morning and then you went and got your nails done to reward yourself for going to class (a manicure anD a pedicure because why would you not do your toes if you’re doing your fingers that just wouldn’t be fair to your toes) and then you went and got a venti coffee frappucino from starbucks

you reach over and adjust the front mirror a bit and take a second to admire your brand new YSL heart-shaped sunglasses (they’re SO cute n u have them in three different colours)

you’re already thinking about what you want for dinner

maybe you can order some sushi or something

you could go for a dynamite roll or something

maybe some gyoza dumplings too

oOh you should also get some seaweed salad because that-

prrt prruT prrt prRRrRRRRRrr

oh my god

no way

“oh my god, no way.” your heart drops to your stomach when beeper starts sputtering and coughing and slowing d o w n

oh god

oh god oh god oh god

okay

it’s fine

it’s fine don’t worry about it

thankfully beeper stopped riGht as the light turned red so you have some time to try and get him up and running again

okay

what can you do

what does this button do

click

oH okay those are the windshield wipers and you don’t need those

you twist a knob and curse to yourself when the radio turns on

ok what about thiS knob

“chRist-“ cold air starts blasting riGht into your face and you turn the knob back down

you step down on the gas pedal and nothing happens

what do you do whAT do you DO

you probably have like 20 seconds left before the light turns green and you have to get going

ooooOOOoOh you don’t want the people behind you to honk at you

that’s going to stress you out

you don’t want to be honked at!!!!!!!!!

usually when something bad happens you just.,. throw some money on it and it goes away

in this case you can technically throw money at it

let’s rephrase this

usually when something bad happens you just throw some money at a person and it goes away because they take care of the problem foR you

but the difference here is that you are all alone

in this big city

and your parents are miles away

and no one is here to help you

ooh!!!! ooh!!!!!! google a car repair shop!!!! goOGLE IT

you reach into your purse and pull your phone out quickly

“car repair shops near me…” you mutter to yourself as you type into the google search bar

you jump in surprise when the car behind you honks at you and you give them a sheepish smile and a shrug

“c’mon, c’mon.,.,,” you smack the steering wheel in frustration but quickly rub over the wheel apologetically  

beeper coughs before jerking and you feel a wave of relief wash over you when it starts moving again

okay

according to google maps the nearest repair shop is a minute drive away

okay okay okay

should be doable

it appears that the gods are somewhat on your side today because beeper breaks down officially right as you drive up to the front of the repair shop

luckily no one was on the sidewalk when you nyOomed up because half of your car is on the sidewalk and the other half is on the street and you’re not looking to run anyone over today

“stupid car.” you mutter as you slam the door shut “…sorry buddy.” you wince apologetically and pat the hood because you certainly wouldn’t want to be spoken to like that if you were a car

you look up at the rusting sign hanging above the large garage

‘min mechanics’

“min mechanics.” you stand in front of the large open garage and inspect the inside

is this place good enough for beeper

it seems like it’s doing pretty well

there are at least eight cars all parked on either sides of the place

in the very back in the left corner there’s an office kinda thing  

there’s a sign hanging on top of the door that says ‘front desk’

okay so that seems like a logical place to go to

you’re a little wary just leaving your car out here with nobody to watch it but it’s not like you have a choice

you walk in further and adjust your purse strap on your shoulder

what heCk

there’s like nobody here

there better be somebody here otherwise you’re going to get your dad to sue

just kidding

but not really

“uh, hellOOooOOo??” your boots clack against the concrete as you walk deeper into the garage

you push your sunglasses up onto the top of your head before placing a hand on your hip

“is anybody here??? someone needs to fix my car, please!!!” you approach the truck that’s just sitting in the middle of the garage and that’s when you notice a pair of legs under the truck

oh my god

someone’s been CRUSHED By a TRUCK

oh HELL no you are getting out of here you’re going to pretend like you weren’t even here in the first place

“sorry, gimme a sec!” the legs twitch and you let out a breath of relief

whoever this person is rolls out from under the truck smoothly and gets up onto their feet

oh

hello

he wipes his cheek with the back of his hand and gets grease smudged over his cheekbone with a scowl before wiping his grubby hands on his rag

soft icy-blue hair  

almost cat-like eyes

sharp jawline

very pretty hands

he tosses the dirty rag over his shoulder and you definitely don’t miss the way his bicep flexes

you glance down at the name embroidered in yellow thread into the chest pocket of his navy blue jumpsuit

𝓎𝑜𝑜𝓃𝑔𝒾

cute name for a cuter boy

he looks up at you and falters a bit

obviously he’s a liTTle taken aback because what’s a girl like you doing at a place like this??

you don’t miss the way his eyes scan over your figure

a cream coloured blouse tucked into a pair of skinny blue jeans

a pair of chunky leather boots that look like they cost more than his entire life

the little gucci purse

and of course

the heart shaped sunglasses

hm

“what can i help you with, doll?” he offers you a smirk and a tilt of the head and suddenly you think you’ve forgotten how to breathe

you don’t think that pet name should affect you as much as it does

holy shiT this is one pretty boy

he pushes his sleeves up and that’S when you notice that one of his arms is covered with tattoos

holy moly

“i… car’s broken. my car. my car’s broken.” you stumble over your words

“you… car’s broken, huh?” he teases before glancing over your shoulder “is that it outside?”

you nod quickly and look back at your car

aw

poor beeper

you didn’t even get to drive him that much and he already diED on you

you should’ve asked for a range rover instead

once again it’s from the 60s

you probably should’ve stopped right then and there

but it’s so cute!!!!!!!

“is that a 1962 mercerdes benz??” ‘yoongi’ gasps and moves past you towards beeper “holy shiT i’ve only seen those in pictures”

“it’s pretty cool, i guess.” you shrug casually and watch as he continues to marvel over your car “but yeah, do you think you can fix him?”

“him?”

“…his name is beeper.” you admit shyly and yoongi laughs lightly and nods understandably

“cute. and yes, i’ll take care of beeper for you, don’t worry. give me some time to poke around and see what the issue is.” he pats beeper’s hood before gesturing over to the back of the garage “you can chill out in the office if you want, or there’s a starbucks down the street. it’s pretty muggy in the garage and i wouldn’t want you to scuff up your gucci purse.”

his eyes flicker towards the little black bag nestled against your side

you clear your throat and tuck it behind you bashfully

“i’m yoongi, by the way.” he sticks his hand out and you look down at it

you can see some greASy residue from the truck that he was fixing earlier but you tell yourself to man up and you reach over and take his hand

oh my god his hand is s t i c k y

ew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“i’m y/n. thank you for helping me out.”

“of course, i’m happy to help.” yoongi offers you a boyish smile and you decide right then and there that you don’t mind his sticky hands at all

the bell tinkles lightly as you push the frosted glass door open and step into the air-conditioned office

hey the office is a lot bigger than you thought it’d be

and definitely a lot nicer than you thought it’d be (no offence)

there’s a front counter and an empty wheely chair behind it

oH and there’s another door that leads into a more ~private~ office but it’s closed so you can’t sneak a peek inside

on the counter there’s a little bell and next to it is a hEfty jar of lollipops

behind the counter is a cork board with a bunch of car keys hanging from pushpins all lined up in a neat row

a couple sticky notes pinned up

four plastic chairs sitting on the side (you’re assuming this is the waiting area)

in the corner there’s a little table with a stack of magazines

and in the other corner there’s a water dispenser

the ceiling fan whirs above you as you head over to the front desk

these lollipops look tempting

you wonder if they’re complimentary or if yoongi is just a sugar addict

you reach into the jar and grab one quickly and drop it into your purse

the chair squeaks underneath you as you take a seat and you shift to get comfortable

you reach up to push your sunglasses up because they start to slide down a little

a breath slips past your lips

you wonder how long yoongi’s going to take

and then you wonder if you’re going to have to get a new car

maybe you should go car shopping after this

hot tip: avoid cars from the 60s

“well i figured out what was wrong with your car” you jump when the door opens abruptly

you stand up from the seat and smooth your blouse down a little “what’s wrong with it?? what do i need to get fixed and how much is it all going to cost??”

“uh, not that much consider what was wrong was that the gas tank was empty.”

…

oh

my

god

you’re a moron

you are an idiot

a F O O L

you clear your throat and feel your cheeks starting to burn a lil

this is uh

this is kinda embarrassing

“are you… sure? that’s it? the gas tank was empty? there’s really nothing else wrong with him?”

“mhm.” yoongi nods and makes his way over behind the front desk “i did a full body check on beeper and everything else is working just fine! he just needed a tank of juice, so i filled up for you. he’s good to go!” he unwraps a lollipop and sticks it into his mouth  

“oh, okay. um-“ you unzip your purse and rifle through it for your wallet “how much do i owe you?”

“nothing”

“noth- gas is free???? holy shit. i did not know that.” you scoff in surprise and put your wallet away

yoongi’s brows furrow and he gives you a smile “no, gas isn’t free, doll. i’m giving you a get outta jail free card, so next time beeper ‘breaks down’ you’ll know he’s just out of gas.”

“oh… oH no no you don’t have to do that here lemme give you-“

“hey, seriously - it’s fine.” yoongi hands you your keys back before spinning you around and leading you out the door with a hand placed on the small of your back  

“but-“

“but nothing! i don’t wanna hear it.” he teases as he opens the door up for you and nudges you inside

he closes the door gently and bends down a little “it was nice doin’ business with you. take care of yourself now.”

“thanks for making me look like a fool in front of a cute boy today, beeper.” you sigh as you step out of the car and close the door

beep beep !

you drop your keys into your purse after locking beeper up and you make your way over to the elevator that goes up to the penthouse

as you wait for the elevator to take you up to your floor you shove your hand into your purse for your house keys and you end up pulling out

a yellow lollipop

you stare at it for a second and blink at it owlishly

no

y/n

he’s a mechanic

your dad’s a businessman!!!!!!!!!  

you need to go after a CEO boy not a CAR boy

you’re sure there are plenty of nice CEO boys in the city

you unwrap the lollipop and stick it into your mouth

hm

mango!

the elevator dings and the doors slide open

you step out into the hallway and twirl your keys around your finger

yeah

it’d be good for you

just forget about the silly car boy

three days later

ok so listen

uh

you know how you said it’d be good to just forget about the silly car boy

ya

that did not happen

you don’t usually do stupid things

but this?

this thing that you have just done??

now THIS was stupid

you might’ve maybe kinda sorta possibly clobbered one of your side mirrors with a baseball bat so that it’d break off because a teeny weeny (huge huGe) part of you wanted to see yoongi again

after the whole stare off with the lollipop in the elevator you just had this itching feeling all over your body

there’s just something about him and you can’t quite put your finger on it

maybe it’s because he’s so..,,.,,., cool? like that’s the only word you have to describe him right now lol

he’s just.,.,,.., he’s so different compared to all the other boys you’ve ever been interested in

god

he’s such a man that’s what he is

the bad boy of your wildest dreams

anyways uh

“….oh boy.” so now you have a baseball bat in one hand and a side mirror in the other

if someone were to walk into the garage right now it’d look like you just damaged someone else’s car

and it’s not like you can say ‘oh, don’t worry! it’s just my car, trust me!!!’ and wave the baseball at them because then they’d be like wtf why did u just fuck up ur own car

well

now it’s too late

you gosh darn wrecked your vintage car all because you want to see a cute mechanic

you couldn’t have just walked in there like a normal person to say hi!!!!!

you could’ve gone in there with an envelope of money and been like oh i just felt bad about not paying so i hAd to come and pay you back!!!

you did this on purpose because you wanted! to! see! yoongi! again!

and unsurprisingly

you always get what you want

“how did this happen again?”

“…i backed up into my garage all weird…?” you’re not being very convincing right now in case that wasn’t already super obvious  

“…huh.”

see

yoongi knows his cars

he’s been working with them for a long time (fun fact he picked up his first screwdriver and helped his dad in the shop when he was just three years old!!!!)

and this doesn’t look like you backed your car into the garage and accidentally knocked it into the side of a wall

it looks like it’s been battered

and he can’t help but think that you were the one who fucked your car up

because there’s a huge dent on the top part of it (he’s assuming this was your first hit) and a loT of mini dents around it (which was a result of you panicking when it didn’t fall off the first time so you continued whacking it everywhere) anD the way the mirror cracked suggests that something was hitting it straIGHt on

so you must’ve been parking your car really weirdly if you actually knocked it off while parking

this looks like it was done purposely

yoongi looks up from the mirror at you

“so… can you fix it?”

a little smirk twitches at the corner of his mouth

alright

he’ll bite

“i mean, it would’ve been easier if the mirror wasn’t completely destroyed-” yoongi holds it up and you wince a little at the sight of the wires dangling from where you riPPed it off “i’m going to have to order a new mirror - it’s probably going to cost a pretty penny considering this is a vintage car, but i’ll be sure to find the best deal for you.”

“you’re welcome to leave beeper here oR you can always just bring him back when the mirror comes in because everything else is working perfectly fine.”

“i’ll leave him here-!” you respond immediately “…if that’s okay with you, of course.”

“that’s perfectly fine with me.” he holds his hand out and your eyes flicker down to it

even his hand is pretty

you’re not..,. sure why he’s holding his hand out

is he trying to shake your hand??

you slowly raise your hand before gently placing it over his

yoongi blinks twice and looks back up at you

you look back at him

“…i need your keys.”

OH

oH MY GOD

oh my god

“i knew that!” you rIP your hand away before shoving it into your purse

your face is honestly probably on fire right now

love that for you

you drop your keys into yoongi’s palm with a jingle and yoongi smirks because now it seems like you’re avoiding eye contact with him

he smirks lightly as he tucks your keys into his back pocket

“at least buy me dinner first before touching me like that, doll.”

ok

you need to leave NOW

this is MORTIFyiNG

you are in the midst of an internal conflict

see, the thing is

you’re not quite sure if you’re crossing the line from charming to downright creepy

let’s unpack this

charming = treating someone to lunch

creepy = treating someone to lunch when you’ve only spoken to him for a total of like 3 minutes

charming = bringing lunch to someone at their workplace

creepy = bringing lunch to someone at their workplace and virtually giving them no choice but to sit down and eat lunch with you becausE you bROUGHt lunch to their woRKPLACE

charming = y/n y/l/n when she like someone

creepy = y/n y/l/n when she really really likes someone

charm-

oh!!!! a pair of legs under a truck!!!!!!!

you pick up the pace and head straIght for truck

“hey!” you knock twice against the side to get yoongi’s attention and you can’t help but bounce up on your toes a little in excitement

you look into the takeout bag to make sure nothing is leaking “i know the car isn’t ready yet but i just wanted to stop by and thank you for-“

“well hey to you too” you step back when you look down to see someone who definitely isn’t yoongi but is also juSt as pretty as yoongi

he takes his cap off and pushes his hair back before putting his hat on backwards

“you aren’t yoongi” you squeak out and wrinkle your nose “i’m so sorry, i thought you were someone else.”

“my name is jungkook bUT i’d be happy to be yoongi if you’d like” he gets up off the ground and wipes his hands on the back of his jumpsuit

he flashes you a charming smile and you feel a little overwheLmed

“get bACk to work you moron” you and the yoongi impoSter both look to the left and you smile excitedly when you see who it is “hello - again.” he teases “your car isn’t ready yet, if that’s what you’re here for.”

“i know, i’m not here for the car.” you blurt out and yoongi’s eyes widen slightly in surprise

he pokes his tongue into his cheek and raises a brow before smirking at you

“huh. i see. so what are you here for then?”

“i-“

“yoongi, aren’t you going to introduce us to the pretty lady?” you turn to look over your shoulder and you’re suddenly overwhelmed because there are one two three four five boys standing behind you like a floCK of pigeons

yoongi lets out a sigh

sometimes he wished he worked alone

you can’t help but think that this mechanics shop is just a cover up for some kind of cult

because uh

every single one of these boys are beautiful

taehyung is in charge of paint jobs and customisations

namjoon is in charge of office-related things like contracts and paperwork and finances and things along that line

hoseok takes care of washing cars

and jimin is an excellent polisher (he promised you you’d get beeper back nice and sparKly even though all you have to do is replace the side mirror)

and jungkook..,.,. kind of bounces everywhere (apparently he’s just working here for the summer so he doesn’t have a designated responsibility)

last you saw him he was under a truck and now he’s helping jimin with the buffing

“now that you know everybody- sorry about that, by the way - what brings you here today?”

“i brought you some lunch as a thank you for… giving me free gas.”  

huh

“oh! thank you so much, that’s very sweet of you.” yoongi smiles and rubs his hands together “i haven’t eaten lunch yet so you came at the riGht time!”

niCE

okay this is good

yoongi can’t help but wonder how much you spent on lunch because even the takeout bag itself looks hella fancy

le petit bistro

obviously it’s some french place

and most of the time french places are hella fancy

he suggested you guys eat in his office so that you’d have a liL more privacy (he knows for a fact that the moment you guys pull food out the others are going to swarm around you and ask to donate some bites to them) and also you probably don’t want to smell petrol while eating lunch lol

you went to go wash your hands so yoongi took the opportunity to sneak a glance at the receipt to confirm his suspicions

and needless to say

he is SHOOK

jesus christ

$45???? for a SANDWICH??? one single sandwich????

the water was $8????

what the hell

.,.,,.negative sides of capitalism

well now he can’t help but wonder how loaded you actually are

he’s not going to lie

it’s slightly intimidating to be around someone practically oozing with money

“-i wasn’t sure what kind of sandwiches you liked so i got a croque monsieur for you, i hope that’s okay!” yoongi drops the receipt back into the bag quickly and shifts in his seat as you step into the office

“oh no, that’s totally fine! i love..,. croc monsters.” he clears his throat “what did you get for yourself?”

“a pan bagnat.” you plop down next to him before reaching into the bag

a pain what now

a pain bandaid?????

what the hell kind of words are leaving your mouth right now lol

“remind me what a… ᶜʳᵒᶜ ᵐᵒⁿˢᵗᵉʳ is again?” yoongi takes the box from you and pops it open

it kinda just looks like a plain ol sandwich

.,.,is that a gold leaf on top of it

“it’s just a fanCy ham and cheese sandwich….also did u just call it a croc monster”

yoongi pauses

“….did u just call it a croc monster?” yoongi bites into the sandwich and-

oH mY GOD

if u weren’t in the room with him he’s positive he would’ve busted a nut

holy SHIT that is a good ham and cheese sandwich

his ham and cheese sandwiches neVer taste this good!!!!!!!

“you want a bite of mine?”

“what’s yours?”

“a pan bagnat.” yoongi contemplates this for a second before shrugging and leaning in for a bite but you quiCkly pull back

he raises a brow

did u change ur mind

“say it.”

say wat

“…thank you?”

“no, no. say it.”

“say what?”

“the name of the sandwich.” you smirk

oh NO

you are a sICk, twiSted individual

the thing is

he knows it’s pan bagnat

but he can’t saY pan bagnat

but he KNOWS it’s pAN BAGNAT OKAY

he knows that you pronounced it pahn ban-yay

so he too will pronounce it pahn ban-yay

he clears his throat

“…pain bandaid.”

o dear god

“okay, so you got that one because jungkook dared you to???” you giggle and trace your fingers over the oFFending tattoo

“yep. he kept saying i didn’t have the balls to do it and the next thing i know i’m sitting in a tattoo parlour getting an angry cookie tattooed on the inside of my bicep.” he snorts and jabs it “luckily i have a whole sLeeve of tattoos to distract from shooky.”

“you nAMed him??”

“jungkook did!!!”

you trail your eyes over the rest of his tattoos

your favourite so far (and it’s the biggest one) is of a cherry blossom tree

the way the branches and twigs wrap around his arms is just so beautiful and the baby pink of the cherry blossoms are just so!!! cute!!!!!!!

“how about your hair, then? unless you were born with a head of shockingly icy-blue hair.”

“well, i got drunk on my birthday. and then i woke up with bleached hair, which was traumatising, as you can probably imagine. i wasn’t a fan of completely whiTE hair so i just bought some dye from the drug store and it came out to be this soft blue-grey kinda colour.” yoongi crosses his eyes as he pinches a couple strands of hair in between his fingers

“i don’t know if i could ever do that to my hair.” you murmur and look at your own strands of hair “my scalp would probably die on me.”

“my scalp is already fuLLy dead, so i don’t really care anymore.”

“does that mean you’ll let me dye your hair neon green?”

“…we’ll have to talk about that one first.”

yoongi nearly shits himself when he realises he’s gone twO hours over his lunch break

omg

he has so much to do today he has to go back to work

even though he’s the boss and can take as many lunch breaks as he wants it doesn’t maTTer

“you got any plans for the rest of the day?” yoongi crumples his napkin up and shOots it into the bin

“not really!” you wipe your mouth and put the soiled napkin into the takeout box before putting thAt back into the takeout bag

“here, i’ll throw that out in the back for you.” yoongi picks the bag up and tucks his own box into it as well

“thank you- i dO have some work do to later but hey, you wouldn’t mind if i just hung out here, right?”

yoongi pauses on his way to the door and turns back to look at you

“you wanna hang out… here?” yoongi furrows his brows in confusion “like here-here?”

you shrug

“it just gets preTTy boring at the apartment when i’m all alone”

“well, uh, i guess i don’t see any problem with you hanging out here. i’m just going to be out there with the others, so let me know if you need anything”

??????

yoongi doesn’t usually have to play the role of a hOSt when his customers are around

“cool!!! i’ll trY not to burn anything down”

yoongi smiles to himself and shakes his head before leaving the office

hm

you are a very peculiar girl

and so it goes

you find yourself zipping straiGht to min mechanics as soon as you’re done with classes for the day (you don’t go everyday just because you feel like that’s kinDa creepy and very veRy clingy so you limit yourself to like three or four days a week)

luckily yoongi’s shop is only a 20 minute uber ride away (you were vEry tempted to buy a new car to take over beeper’s place for the time-being but you figured it’d be best to spend your money on things like… groceries??) so he’s not toO out of the way which is good!!!!!!

although you have a feeling that even if yoongi was 3 hours away you’d stiLL make the trip to see him

and although it seems like you’re just there to check up on beeper because yOu miSs hIm it’s fairly obvious you have a lil thing for yoongi

“hey, um, just outta curiosity - how old is yoongi?” you adjust on the stool and avoid jungkook’s gaze when he turns back to look at you

he glances over at yoongi “he just turned 26! he’s an old man” jungkook snorts and goes back to wiping down the windows

26

that’s.,.,.,. uh

that’s kinda hot

you cross your legs and prop an elbow up on your knee before propping your chin up on your palm and you let out a dreamy sigh

everyThing about yoongi is kinda hot

the way he rolls his sleeves up to expose his forearms when he’s about to get down and diRty gets your gears grinding

or when his tongue swipes over his bottom lip after he’s taken a swig of water

or how deep n rasPy is voice gets sometimes

not to mention his tattoo sleeve

you haven’t gotten a good look at it yet but you’re not complaining because it makes him fall into the bad boy category and you are a HOE for that

“i’m 22, by the way. much, much younger than yoongi.” jungkook points out and turns around to lean against the truck

“mm, that’s cool, kook.” you smile although your eyes are glued on a certain someone else  

jungkook snorts and rolls his eyes

maybe he should get a tattoo sleeve

“you know she’s staring at you again”

yoongi has to bite back a smile to keep himself from looking like a smitten schOOlgirl  “is she?” he asks casually and flips to the next page of the catalogue

he glances over his shoulder and sure enough you’re staring right at him

of course the moment you get caught you quickly look up and pretend like the ceiling fans whirring above are the most interesting things you’ve ever seen in your entire life

“she’s cute”

“i know” yoongi looks up and narrows his eyes at hoseok who is… stiLL staring at you

yoongi takes a step to the side so that he’s blocking hoseok’s line of sight “don’t you have a tire to change or something?”

hoseok immediately raises his hands in defense

“all i’m impLYing is that if you don’t do something soon i might have to hop on that and take her for a ride-” hoseok yelps when yoongi rolls up the catalogue and suddenly starts smacking him with it

“get baCK to work before i FIRE you”

“whatcha eating?” you glance up from your magazine when you become acutely aware that you are no longer alone due to the fact that there are three shadows blocking you from the sun

ah yes

the three amigos

jimin taehyung and lil ol jungkook

you know exactly what they want

you swallow your bite and use your chopsticks to gesture to the takeout box of sushi (it’s a dynamite roll (your fave!!!!) from this amazing sushi place called nori) sitting on the little table next to you “sushi.” you flip to the next page of the magazine

“what…. kind of sushi?”  

“dynamite roll.”

you hear them murmuring to each other and the only thing you manage to make out is a ‘u think she’ll let us try’

yeah

it is always a mistake to bring food here but for some reason you don’t listen to yourself and you always bring food here

and u know what maybe this is just because ur kind of selfish (especially when it comes to the dynamite rolls from nori) but u don’t really want to give them a bite but at the same time you know for sure they’re not going to leave you alone til you let them try

“cool, cool.” taehyung clears his throat

you give them all an unimpressed look before snorting in amusement and picking up the takeout box then holding it up for them

“one piece each.”

and the gates of hell swing open

he immEdiately opens his mouth and sucks it in like a vacuum cleaner

and then you offer a piece to jimin

and then you offer a piece to jungkook

and once they’re all satisfied they finally leave you alone

now you’re down 3 pieces of sushi but it’s finE

you don’t think of yourself as a person who puts effort into things unless you’re parTicularly passionate about something

and you just so happen to be vERY passionate about (1) min yoongi so you surprise yourself when you realise that instead of spending thursday evening watching netflix, you spend three hours doing research on the different parts of a car juSt so you can go into min mechanics and blow yoongi’s MIND

u want to impress him ok it’s not a big deal!!!!!!!!

anyways

you have a couple bullet points that you scribbled down on your palm jUSt in case

you are READY to impress the heck out of yoongi

“that radiator sure looks busted, huh?” you peek over yoongi’s shoulder and take a step back when he turns to look at you “you should probably check the coolant levels.”

yoongi furrows his brows in confusion

what is happening

it doesn’t make sense that you suddenly have a very vAst knowledge of cars considering the fact that you thought your car was broken when it was literally just out of gas

.,.,.,what is going on

“that is the radiator, you’re correct. and it is busted.” you smile proudly and give yourself a mental pat on the back and it is pretty busted. “there’s a blown fuse and a couple of wires are corroded.”

“have you checked the lower radiator tank?”

“uh- yes, i checked that. i don’t really need to check the lower tank if i’m looking at an electrical problem though.”

uh oh

we’re starting to go downhill

quICK say something else

you unfurl your fingers and glance down at the messy scribbles on your palm (the ink is starting to bleed because ur starting to get nErvous and your palms always get clammy)

“how about the coolant?”

“don’t need to check coolant levels either.” yoongi hums and reaches over to untwist the tank cap “and you already mentioned the coolant levels earlier-“

and then it hits him

it finally hits him

his fingers freeze on the cap momentarily

oh

bless your heart

he pressed his lips together to keep himself from smiling too widely “-but if it makes you feel any better i’ll check the coolant levels again?”

“no, no! if you don’t need to check it, then you don’t have to.” you clear your throat “the… the fan clutch is… you should check that too. the fan clutch is… it’s a vital part of the radiator.”

“say, i have a question for you.” yoongi spins around and leans back against the car

“mhm?”

“what exactly does the radiator do, y/n?” he raises a brow before crossing his arms

you know this

oh my god you KNOW this

you literally read a 12 page document talking specifically about radiators HOW the hell are you BLANKING right now

okay fine

just play it cool

if you act like you know what you’re talking about it’ll be more convincing

“it…” you kiss your teeth before glancing down at the radIatoR “it… radiates… um, it radiates energy so that the car is able to… move.” you explain as conFidently as you possibly

“and what’s a fan clutch?”

“oh! you know, it’s the part that just…” you shake your fist in the air “just… clutches the fan, y’know? keeps it in place.”

“huh. that’s right.” yoongi cocks his head

wait what

holy shit

you’re a genius

you are a GENIUS  

“i am???”

“no.” he deadpans and smirks when you scowl playfully “you’re cute, though.”

.,,.,.frick

“good morning, namjoon.” yoongi hums as he steps into the office with a biG bag of lollipops

“morning…?” this is vEry unfamiliar territory because the last time yoongi said good morning to namjoon it was on his birthday

well

it’s best not to question it

he should just enjOy sociable yoongi “you seem extra chipper this morning!” namjoon points out

“do i?” yoongi pulls the lid off the glass jar and sets it aside

click clack click clack

the lollipops hit the side of the jar as yoongi fills it aLL the way up

he turns to toss the bag away into the bin

namjoon pulls a lollipop out of the jar before furrowing his brows

he twists the treat in between his fingers and takes note of the little cartoon strawberries on the wrapper “i thought you were a raspberry man?”

“i am” yoongi plucks the lollipop from namjoon’s fingers and plunks it into the jar before covering it up

“but all of these are strawberry flavoured.”

“yes, and?”

namjoon raises his hands in defence “nothing! just saying.”

how very odd

yoongi despises strawberry

“hi namjoon!” the little bell tinkers as you step into the office

“y/n, hey! how was your day? yoongi’s in the middle of a call but he’ll be out soon.”

“it was okay! i got my essay back and i did pretty well- oOH strawberry” you gasp and iMMediately shoVe your hand into the jar

there it is

the final piece of the puzzle

it all makes sense now

“huh.” namjoon leans back against his chair and crosses his arms as he watches you unwrap the lollipop excitedly

“whaht?” you ask aroUnd the lollipop and namjoon shakes his head

“oh, nothing.”

interesting

vEry interesting

yoongi despises strawberry but it seems like he doesn’t despise you

it is univERsally known that sundays are meant to be day-offs

you’re supposed to sleep in on sundays

you go out for bRUnch on sundays

you most certainly don’t wake up at 8am and spend twO hours getting ready and then take an uber down to the mechanics shop to see the cute boy who works there

normal people don’t dO THAT

“what are you doing here? it’s sunday…” even yoongi is confused as to why you’re here

hE doesn’t even want to be here

“i know, i just… y’know, i was bored, so-“

“you came all the way here because you were bored?” yoongi’s brows knit together and you feel your cheeks flush

you reach up to scratch the back of your neck before pursing your lips “…yes?” you look around and realise that no one else is in sight “where is everyone?”

“…it’s sunday.” yoongi teases and brings his attention back to the faulty hose in his hands

god

what is wrong with the hose today yoongi slaps it against his palm a couple of times

his brows furrow in frustration before he gives it a good tWisT-

SCHKKKKKKKKKK

oH Okay there it is

“there we go!” yoongi twists it back to turn it off “i think i might need to invest in a new hose because i just wasted like 10 minutes trying to turn it on“ he looks up at you

OH MY GOD

you’re gawkinG like a fish and all the blood drains from yoongi’s face when he realizes what just happened  

oh mygOD

he’s going to have to work for the rest of his life to pay for your dry cleaning

he’s going to have to sell his shop and that won’t even be enough to cover the cost of cleaning your gucci purse

“y/n… shit… i am sO sorry….” yoongi swallows thickly because you still haven’t responded  

you drop your purse on the floor and yoongi presses his lips together

t-the gucci is soaking wet

ᵗʰᵉ ᵍᵘᶜᶜᶦ ᶦˢ ˢᵒᵃᵏᶦⁿᵍ ʷᵉᵗ

hooOooOOOLY SHit he wants to die

he wants to die!!!!!!!!!!!

he wants to guZZLe a gallon of petrol and just DIE

you’re going to sue him

no

you’re going to get your dad to sue him which is even worse

he drops the hose to the floor with a clatter before turning to grab the rag sitting on the hood of the truck  

“i’ll get you another towel but you can use this to dry off for no- WHAT-“ not even a seCOND goes by and all of a sudden there’s water being dumpED right on top of him  

and to make matters worse

this is soapy water used to wash the car

he’s dripping with dirty soapy water from head to toe

“there. now we’re even!” you let out a sigh and set the bucket down before wiping your hands on the back of your leggings even though that does absolutely NOTHING

“…you have three seconds.”

you’re still wiping your hands on your leggings “three seconds to- oH MY GOD WAIT-“ you begin sprinting as soon as yoongi moves into action and the next thing you know he’s chasing you around the garage with the hose

you two are acting like chiLDREN

“yOONGI NO” you shriek when you feel cold water blast against you once again

your guys laughter bounces off the walls of the garage along with the occasional screEch from you

“get away from me you freAK-“ yoongi cackles when he gets a good blast of water right against your butt causing you to scream even louDer than you already were

you can feel him gaining on you because the pressure of the water is starting to get stronger and stronger

you let out a shriek before bursting into laughter when yoongi wraps his arm around you from behind and you immediately start squirming in his grip

you manage to turn around and the two of you start baTTling for the hose

“giVE it to mE-“ you squeeze your eyes shut because you’re sure getting blasted in the eyeball with water won’t be nice

“over my dead body!!!!!!” yoongi laughs and starts tickling your sides with his free hand

“min yooNGI it’s my turn to-“

“get your grUbby hands off the-“

of course

the floor is now slippery as hell (and yoongi’s water bill is going to be hIGH this month if you two keep going at it lol)

so of course

“woAH-!“

“oh SHIt-“

the nExt thing you know you’re staring up at

well

you’re staring right up at yoongi

“i-“ you have no idea why but your fingers are wrapped around his soaKing wet bicep and you quickly let go and place your hands on either side of you like a damn corpse “hi.”

the hose has been completely abandoned next to you guys and it’s still spurting out water

“hey.” he pants from the exertion of chasing you around the garage and his eyes flicker down to your lips veRy briefly you’re not sure it even happened

he’s settled riGht in between your legs and once you realise this your cheeks flame up

oh my god

dO something

“call it a truce?” you offer meekly and yoongi raises a brow before nodding once

“…i suppose so.” you yeLp in surprise when he suddenly shakes his hair out like a dog and practically assaults you with droplets of water

you scowl playfully and wipe at your cheek

yoongi grins down at you and gets off of you

he stands up and looks down at his sopping wet jumpsuit before offering you a hand “c’mon.” he jerks his head towards the office “let’s dry you up, doll.”

you wring the water out of your blouse and yelp quietly when you feel cold droplets of water splatter onto your bare foot

also

this YSL mascara was noT worth the money because you look like a raccoon right now

“i have an extra shirt somewhere… ah, here we are!”

you look at yoongi in the mirror of your compact as he emerges from the office with a-

oh good god

what is that

you clap your compact shut and tuck it back into your purse before spinning around and letting your eyes trail down to the….

can u even call that a shirt

“i refuse to put that thing on my body.” you can’t even bring yourself to reach out and take the raggedy denim button-up from yoongi because it just looks so.,.,.,.,.,. grOSS

“aw, c’mon! it’s cute! denim is super trendy.”

“why is it so dirty??”

“they’re just grease stains!! i swear!” yoongi brings the shirt up to his nose and takes a fAT whiff “anD i washed it!”

“well you can either wear this oR you can wear your sopping wet clothes.” yoongi points to the garBage bag containing all your soaking wet belongings and you let out a groan before reaching out and taking the shirt from him

“if it’ll make you feel better i have a pen here and i can just write gucci on the label!”

“ha-ha, very funny.,,., i accept louis vuitton as well”

“i’m going to see if i have any clothes for myself” yoongi disappears into the office again and you work quickly to rip your soPping wet clothes off as quickly as possible

“you know, i can always hook you up with some better quality shirts!” you start buttoning yourself up and you bring your arm up to your nose to give the sleeve a little sniff

it smells like his cologne >:)

you tug the shirt down a little bit and look behind you to make sure your ass isn’t hanging out and saying peekaboo

it’s big enough to the point where it covers everything appropriately and also it reaches mid-thigh

but if you bent down you’d definitely be giving everyone a show lol

“we can stick your logo on the back and everything-“

“sorry, what’d you say? i didn’t catch that.”

you turn around to face yoongi “i was saying that i- oH“

o-OH My GO D

R E D  A L E R T

your heart literally stops at the sight of a very, very shirtless yoongi

he shakes his hair out before running a hand through it with a sigh “luckily i had some spare clothes here otherwise i’d have to drive you home completely naked…”

you are bAREly paying attention to a word he is saying right now

this is it

min yoongi is one of the seven wonders of the world

he has a pair of grey sweatpants hanging low on his hips and not to be nsfW but he might,..,,. not be wearing any briefs right now.,..,

you glance back up at his face and clear your throat when you realise he’s staring right back at you with the teeniest of smirks

“what’s the matter, doll? cat got your tongue?”

the cat don’t but that diCK dO

“your carriage awaits, madam” yoongi bows and gestures towards his pick up truck

“why, thank you, kind sir.” you gladly take his hand and he helps you into the truck

the car ride consists of you and yoongi continuing to get to know each other a lil more

the conversation flows very smoothly and easily between the two of you and that makes u happy :-))))

you tell him about that one time you thought there was a robber in your house but it turned out to be a squirrel which is moRE confusing because how the hell did the squirrel make it up so high

yoongi tells you about that one time he was staying late at the shop and hE thought there was a robber in the garage but it was just a drunk jungkook tripping over a stack of tires

you ask him about his family and he asks you about yours

you tell him you love ur mom and dad a lot but you’re suPer glad to be living on your own because it gets overwhelming sometimes

yoongi says he has a good relationship with his family too (but they weren’t pleased when he came home for new years and they discovered his tATTOO SLEEVE and his BLEACHED HAIR)

he tells you about his lil dog named holly (who he misses so much!!!!!) and you tell him about your pet turtle walter who lives at home with your parents

you find out that his favourite pizza toppings are pepperonis and pineapples and you fULLY roast him for that disgusting combination

and then he finds out that your favourite pizza toppings are spinach leaves, fire-grilled chicken, and caramelised red onions and he’s like okay miss bouGIe do u realise how much more expensive my pizza would be if i asked for fire-grilled chicken  

he listens to hip-hop most of the time but he does have a soft spot for ariana grande and halsey

he bEgs you not to say anything to the boys

he’s not insecure about his masculinity or anything

he just doesn’t want them to bLAST break up w ur boyfriend i’m bored in the shop all day even tho it’s a B O P

“okay, turn into the roundabout here…” you point towards the penthouse buildings once yoongi drives past the gates (u live in a gaTed community u r so bougie!!!!!!!!!)  

“this building? the one with the… marBle fountain?”

“mhm, you got it.” you unbuckle your seatbelt and turn to smile at him “thank you for the ride and the shower.”

“anytime, doll.” yoongi plays along and his right eye drops in a wink

he chews on the inside of his cheek nervously

should he go for it

,.,..,

yeah he’s going to go for it

“hey, by the way-“ he stops you before you can hop out of the truth “the guys and i are hanging out this friday at this club we usually go to... don’t feel pressured to say yes or anything but if you wanna tag along that’d be totally-“

“yEs i would love to!” you blurt out and yoongi pauses and chuckles lightly

omg

yES you definiTEly want to

“okay, i’ll text you the details as soon as i figure out what’s happening.”

“sounds good!!” you shut the door and yoongi rolls the window down

“i’ll see you later then?”

“mhm! by the way - i’m keeping the shirt.”

yoongi snorts and rolls his eyes playfully as he watches you make your way to the entrance

he bites back a smile and leans back against the seat before letting out a breath and turning the truck back on

you really are something

friday can’t come soon enough

oh boy

your bedroom looks like it’s just been hit by a tornado

because it is a mEss

“i have nothing to wear!” you whine to nobody in particular as you stand in the middle of your walk-in closet and look around at the racks and racKs of clothing surrounding you

first you tried a tank top tucked into a pair of jeans and a sensible cardigan but then you remembered riGHt i’m going to a club i’m not going to the LIBRARY

and then you tried this brand new dress from chanel but you decided it was too ~avant-garde~ (u don’t really know what that means but that’s how the lady described it to you when she was selling it to you) for the club

and theN you tried a jumpsuit kinda thing but you’re not going to want to completely strIP down and sit on the toilet butt-ass naked when you have to pee

but u know what

after 2 hours (yes, TWO hours) of going through your closet you think you’ve finally pieced a sensible outfit together

it’s a baby blue slip dress (you bought it to match with beeper and u will shamelessly admit that) and you pair it with these adorable strappy platform sandals and of course a brand new gucci clutch  

hm

you look so cuTe you love this outfit

you kinda look like an early 2000s bratz doll and you’re,.,.,. ObseSsed with that

also

if someone compliments you on your outfit you’re definitely going to hit them with a “oh, this old thing? i just threW it on!”

no one will ever know it took you 120 minutes to pick (1) blue dress

you’re taking this secret to the GRAVE

yoongi offered to pick you up but you told him you’d be fine getting there by yourself

plus you really wanted to go in fashionably late (not tOO late of course) and just knock the socks off of everyone

you fully accept that you are a tiny bit of an attention whore

>:-)

“i think i should’ve picked her up.” yoongi mutters as he takes the last sip of his beer

it’s 9:30 and you’re stiLL not here

he’s checked his phone literally ten times in twenty minutes to make sure that he hasn’t missed any texts or calls or

“i think you’re overthinking this. she’ll get here! maybe there’s traffic.” jimin pats yoongi’s shoulder before returning to his conversation with hoseok

“and even if she doesn’T come you can still have fun with us!” jungkook points out and yoongi frowns “what??? we’re just as fun as y/n!!”

“we might be just as fun as y/n but yoongi doesn’t wanna make out with you like he does y/n-“

“soRRY you guys my uber dropped me off like three blocks away from here for some reason and i didn’t realise how hard it was walking in platform sandals” yoongi jumps in surprise when you suddenly poP out of nowhere

“this is why i should’ve picked you u-“ yoongi turns his head and finally gets a good look at you

shit you look good

he’s.,,.,. never seen your bAre legs before but he most definitely wants to bury his face in between them!!!!!!

oops

“are you two done checking each other out yet?” taehyung raises a brow and you and yoongi break gazes immediately

yoongi looks up at the little lightbulb hanging from the ceiling and you look towards the bowl of pretzels sitting on the table

namjoon smacks tae’s arm scoldingly

quick change the subject

“have you guys just been sitting here this whole time?” you take a seat next to yoongi and you’re hAPPy to report that he doesn’t move when the side of your thigh presses up against him

you’re used to seeing yoongi in a jumpsuit (which is hot) or like a plain white tee tucked into a pair of jeans (which is aLso hot) but tonight he looks extra EXTRA hot

he’s wearing all bLAck tonight

black t-shirt

black ripped jeans

black bomber jacket

he even smells sexy

he smells like that denim shirt that’s hanging in ur closet

oH and he’s wearing a bandana and for some reason the sight of him in a bandana makes you s w e a t

yoongi leans back and drapes an arm over the back of the booth and you’re vEry tempted to snuggle right into him but unfortunately the two of you are noT at that stage yet

“this is our third bowl of pretzels and our second round of beers, so no, we haven’t just been sitting here this whole time.” jungkook points out smartly and you nod understanDably

he’s such a dweeb

you love it

alright well

apparently the party don’t start til you walk in

you give yoongi’s thigh a couple pats before pointing at the bar “i’m gonna go get us some shots!” you grin excitedly as you slide out of the booth

all of the boys sit in silence until they all decide you’re at a safe distance away from them

“…..she touched your thiGhHhHhhhH” taehyung wiggles his brows and yoongi scoffs and rolls his eyes

“so what?”

“…yo diCK is close to your thiGhHhHhhhH”

“so in a way she indirectly touched your dick” jungkook holds his hand out for a fist bump

yoongi looks at the two of them in an unimpressed manner

“hi, can i get a round of kamikazes please?” you smile politely at the bartender before handing him your card

you gon be honest

you don’t actually know what a kamikaze is

you googled a list of shots on your way here and kamikaze was on that list

there’s also a type of shot called a blowjob but you’re not sure how it’s going to go down if you ask the bartender for a round of blowjobs

“what’s a pretty little thing like you doing at a place like this?” you jump in surprise when someone suddenly appears next to you and you’re about to run away in fear but then you get a better look at this guy

there’s no other way to describe it

this binch looks just as Expensive as you

you recognise that limited edition gold rolex that wink at you under the shoddy lighting

“…i could say the same for you” you raise a brow before turning to face the bar again

whY is the bartender taking so long

the guy laughs and tilts his head back a little before leaning forward and offering you a smirk “i’m seokjin. and you are?”

“not interested.” you clap back immediately jin raises his hands in defence but doesn’t back off

“feisty, aren’t we?”

“only when we have to be.” you shrug casually

“fair enough.” he hums and drums his fingers against the counter

a beat of silence goes by and you’re surprised he hasn’t made anoTher move

this guy seems harmless enough so you figure that giving him your name won’t be the woRst decision you’ll ever make in your life

plus the bartender is really taking his sweet time with those drinks and you’re getting bored

“i’m y/n.” you stick your hand out and jin’s eyes flicker down to your hand before he takes it graciously and gives you a firm shake

“well, it’s very nice to meet you. are you here by yourself?”

you snort immediately and shake your head “i wouldn’t come here by myself.” the bartender pauses and raises a brow at you and you give him a sheepish smile “no offence.”

if you thought your drinks were taking a long time to be made they’re going to take even lonGer now

good job u goober

“can i at least buy you a drink? maybe you can come over to my booth and we can chit-chat, see where that takes us…”

“or you could just buy me a drink and we can go our separate ways from there.” you grin and jin tilts his head before letting out a small laugh

“is that how you’re going to play it, sweetheart?” the thin gold chain hanging around his neck shimmers slightly as he shifts and leans closer to you

“i pholhd yew i could fit more phretfulz into my mouf fhan yew” jungkook mumbles and a pretzel falls out of his mouth

jimin is crAcking up at the sight of taehyung practically drooling all over himself

namjoon looks disappointed and hoseok looks vEry amused

yoongi glances over at the bar and furrows his brows in confusion when he sees you talking to,.,.., someone you’re obviously very comfortable with if you’re letting him tuck your hair behind your ear like that

whoever this fella is

he’s wearing a crisp button-up tucked into a pair of slacks and he has his sleeves rolled up (and he knows how weak u r for rolled up sleeves because you always get really moon-eyed when hE rolls his sleeves up)

yoongi clears his throat and shifts in his seat

what was he thinking???  

christ

you guys are from two different worlds

what

was

he

thinking!!!

inviting you here?? and you’RE paying the shots omg he should’ve gone up there to pay for the shots

“miss, your round of kamikazes?”

“be a gentleman, kihyun. why don’t you deliver her shots to her friends for her?” jin points over at yoongi and the others and kihyun nods obediently

“oH oh you really don’t have to- okay never mind”

jin is a nice guy but also u want to go back to ur friends

“so, where were we?”

“you were about to buy me a drink and i was going to accept the drink and then leave” you joke and turn to look over your shoulder juSt in time to see kihyun setting the tray down on the table

okay you know what

one drink isn’t going to hurt

you’ll just enjoy onE drink and then you’ll leave

that way the boTh of you are satisfied..,,.ish

yoongi can’t help but glance over at the bar agaIN and he rolls his eyes when he catches the sight of you throwing your head back in laughter at something

who the hell does this guy think he is anyway

and what kinda guy who dresses like thAt would want to hang out here

no

he’s overthinking it

“hey, your friend told me to bring the shots here. seven kamikazes.”

“OoOohHH yeah lets gET IT” jungkook reaches for a shot as soon as the tray is set down and it goes down his hatch in 0.1 seconds

uh

okay wow

obviously you’re not interested in hanging out with them anymore because you’re stiLL with that guy at the var aND you got the bartender to deliver the shots over so you could kEEP talking to mr. perfect over there

“ooh, these are good!!”

“veRy citrusy”

“are we sure there’s even alcohol in this because it kinda just tastes like orange juice”

“you think we can order more?”

yoongi’s shot is the only one left untouched

jungkook reaches over to tap his shoulder

“hyung, you gonna take a shot?”

yoongi clenches his jaw and reaches over blindly for the shot glass

he tilts his head back and swallows it before setting the glass down firmly

“jEez it wasn’t like i was going to take it or anything” jungkook mutters under his breath

whAtever

yoongi wipes his mouth with the back of his hand

you’re allowed to flirt with whoever you’d like

it’s not like you guys have a thing or anything

you even told him you didn’t want him to come and pick you up so obviously you’ve established that this is a friendship and nothing more

it’s fine

yeah

you guys don’t have a thing

which means hE can flirt with whoever he’d like as well

“anywaYs you’re very nice, jin, but i don’t want you to get the wrong idea or anything…” you smile sheepishly and scratch the back of your neck

you don’t want to tell this complete stranGer about the ins and outs of your will-they-won’t-they relationship with yoongi but you are vEry much tipsy and tipsy y/n just does not have a filter whatsoever “i’m here with yoongi!!!!!!” you clear your throat and gesture towards where the boys are

that strawberry margarita was really good

you could probably drink like twelveteen more of those  

jin glances over your shoulder and raises a peRfect brow (you need to ask him where he gets his brows done because woW)

“which one is this yoongi?” he looks back at you

uh

you weren’t expecting to be quEstioned like this

“uh, he’s the one with the-“ you turn to glance over your shoulder

huh

yoongi isn’t at the table

“well he’s around here someWhere he’s wearing a bandana and he has a tattoo sleeve you know he’s reALLy not that hard to spot-“

“oh! i see him!” you perk up immediately and try to follow jin’s line of sight “you mean the one dancing with my friend?”

wait what

“your friend? where’s your friend-“ the moment your eyes land on yoongi and jin’s friend you feel every single droplet of blood draining from your face

oh boy

yep

that’s yoongi alright

she has a hand tangled up in his hair while the other is running down his chest

he leans down as she says something in his ear and you see him laugh

the two of them continue to sway to the beat and you feel sick to your stomach when you notice her push yoongi’s hand down from her waist to her bum

you immediately turn back to face jin and you feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment

u just told this guY that you were here with another guY only to find out that the guy that you came with looks like he’s having a greAt time with someone else  

yikes

“for the record - i would never do that to you.” he asks “chivalry is hard to find nowadays, no?”

you swallow thickly and try to snap yourself out of it

it’s not a big deal

yoongi can do whatever he wants

it’s not like he’s showing romantic interest in you just because he invited you to hang out with him

you’re just one of the bros

“say- how about you and your friends join my friends and i in the vip room? the more, the merrier!” jin nods in acknowledgement as the bartender sets a tray of shots down on the counter for him

“uh, maybe! maybe. thank you for the drink, by the way.” you smile politely and watch as he heads towards the velvet door with a gold VIP label on it

how faNcy  

you weren’t going to mention anything to the guys but they asked you what took you so long and the moment the phrase ‘vip section’ slips out of your mouth all the boys immEdiately slide out of the booth and head to said section

you and jimin bumped into yoongi on the dance floor on the way there and you kinda just.,.., awkwardly trailed behind him and his new gal pal as aLL of you made your way over there

anyways

now you’re here

in this truly unfortunate situation

and you are praying to all the gods to just make a black hole appear in the ground and swallow you up

first of all

you didn’t know how Big this room was

and you didn’t know that one person (jin) could have so many frienDS

because you are sitting in a circle with probabLy like twenty-ish (or more) other people (including the boys of course)

the point is you want to be literaLLy anywhere else BUT here right now

“i’m assuming everybody knows the rules of the game-“ jin sets the empty bottle of beer in the centre of the circle and you feel your palms starting to sweat because heLLO you don’T know the rules of the game

also you don’t know haLF these people

a couple of the girls introduced themselves to you but you have horrible memory so their names went into one ear and riGht out the other in like 0.1 seconds

“maybe you should, like, go over the rules one more time to… y’know, to refresh our memories!” you clear your throat and feel your cheeks heat up when you catch jennie snickering

“okay, well… you spin the bottle, and whoever the bottle points at, you have to kiss them for ten seconds.”

“it’s pretty self-explanatory.” one of the other girls mutter

you take your bottom lip in between your teeth nervously “what happens if you don’T wanna kiss that person?”

“then you have to take off an article of clothing.”

wait what

t-that doesn’t sound like regular spin the bottle

thaT’s not how they do in the movies!!!!! everyone’s clothes stay ON in the movies!!!!!  

and then you realise

you oNLY have a dress on

you don’t have a cardigan or a jacket or anything

so if you don’t wanna kiss anybody you’re going to have to take your dress off

in front of all these people!!!!!!!!!!

can i get a thank u nEXT

“um, i have another question!” your hand shoots up into the air “what if instead of taking a piece of clothing off you take a shot instead?”

“ah, that’s a good idea! if you don’t want to kiss your person, then you take a shot aND you take a piece of clothing off!” jin claps his hands together “good thinking, y/n!”

WAIT WHAT

nO you would like to retrACT your statement omg

so

you can safely say that this is one of the WORST experiences in your life

it’s about twenty minutes into the game

they actually changed the rules again so now you take a shot regardless of if you want to kiss your person or not

needless to say everybody is pretty hammered right now

except you of course

you’re like KindA tipsy

like giggly tipsy!!!! jin just keeps ordering margaritas for you and it would be ruDE of you to reject them

but you haven’t taken any shots yet

because you are one of the only people who hasn’t gotten a chance to spin the bottle yet (thank god)

you also are one of the only people who the bottle hasn’t landed on yet (which is also a thank goD)

“hey”

you turn to look at jin and a smile twitches at your lips when he hiccups

his cheeks are rosy and he’s glowing a bit

loVe that for him

“what do yoU want” you tease

“is there a mirror in your pants?”

“i’m not wearing pants.” you point out and gesture to your dress

“yah- can you just play along??” jin scoffs and pinches your arm

“okAy okay fine go on”

“-because i can seE myself in them” he beams proudly

you snort and roll your eyes playfully before whacking his bicep as he bursts into squeaKy giggles

“you think you’re funny?” you tease and jin nudges his elbow against yours

“you don’t think i’m funny??”

“i absolutely don’t think you’re funny”

“oOOh i have another one”

“can’t be any worse that that mirror one”

“the word of the day is legs.”

“is it?”

“let’s say we head back to your place and spread the word.”  he purrs into your ear and you nEARly screech

“jiN!!!!” you gasp and turn to gawk at him “that’s hoRRIBle you FreAK”

yoongi clenches his jaw when he sees you smack jin’s arm as the two of you continue giGGling away at god knows what

whatever he said can’t possibly be thAt funny

“my turn!!!” jennie gets up onto her knees and shuffles towards the bottle

you suddenly stop laughing because oh no it’s jennie’s turn

with a quick fliCk of her wrist she sends the bottle spinning

okay

logically speaking there is a 1/28 chance of it landing on you

but more importantly

logically speaking there is a 1/28 chance of it landing on a certain someone else who shall not be named but it’s pretty obvious who you don’T want it to land on

your nails dig into the meat of your palm as you watch the bottle intently

you don’t get a chance to continue worrying about the logistics of the situation because jin taps your shoulder again

good

you need a distraction anyways

she spun it really violently so it seems like it’s going to take a while to get there lol

“hEy hey hey i’ll give u a nickel if u tickle my pickle”

you snort immediately and shake your head

“i’ll give you a nickel to shuT up” you reach over to flick his forehead “we met like forty minutes ago but i am confident in saying that you only think with your dick”

“in thAt case would you like to blow my mind?”

chRIST

it neVER ENDS

yoongi sets his beer down slowly when the he realises the bottle is pointing right at him

he swallows thickly

oh boy

his eyes flicker up and he sees jennie looking right at him with bEdroOm eyes

and then he hears you and jin craCking up and he turns his head to look at you guys

…..,.,,.,.

what if jin takes you home tonight

what if jin takes you home tonight

well

FINe

if jin takes you home tonight then he’s allowed to take jennie home tonight

yoongi’s eyes flicker back to jennie and he gestures towards himself before leaning back against one palm “get over here.”

“c’mon now, that one was really good!”

“if you ever approach someone with that line you’re going to get slapped-“ you immediately lose your train of thought when you turn your head to see jennie and yoongi fuLLy going at it

“and that’s 10 seconds!”

yoongi’s the first to pull away and he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand

he ain’t gon lie

that was kind of slobbery

her lip gloss is also sickLY sweet

“y/n, you’re the only one who hasn’t spun yet! why don’t you give it a try?” jin nudges your side and you snap out of it and look at the bottle “i know yoongi’s technically supposed to be spinning now but we should give you a shot at it before someone goes twice.”

“oh, i don’t- um, i don’t… i think i might just skip my turn.” you smile nervously

your heart is haMMering away in your chest

there are a million and one thoughts running through your mind right now and the amount of alcohol that’s flowing through your veins probably isn’t helping to calm you down

u just

u really liked yoongi :-(

you’ve had so much fun spending time with him for the past couple of weeks

but obviously you aren’t his type

which is okay! that’s fine

everything’s fine

also

you don’t want to play this game because you don’t want your first kiss to be because of spIN the bottle

“c’mon, y/n. we aren’t getting any younger here, girl!”

“o-okay! okay, i’m- i’ll spin.” you clear your throat before leaning over and grasping the bottle

you give it a good agGREssive spin and watch as it goes round and round and round and round

oh boy

this sucks

you thought he liked u back

like you really REALLy thought he liked you back

he’s just been so nice and sweet to you!!!!!!

well to be fair he kind of has to be nice and sweet to you because you are paying him to fix your verY expensive car

he probably just wanted a faT tip that’s why he’s been so kind

and maybe he only invited you here tonight because you bought lunch for him

also you literally have no experience with situations like this so you can’t assume that he likEs you just because you like him

whatever

you should go for someone like jungkook who’s closer to you in age

well thEre you go again assuming that someone who obviously doesn’t like you likes you

“hey, look at that! it’s your lucky day, y/n!”

you snap out of it aGAIN and look down at the bottle that’s pointing right at

jin

you turn your head to look at him and he immediately flashes you his oh-so-charming smile “get ready for the best 10 seconds of your life, darling”

you immEdiately start to panic when jin reaches up to cup the side of your jaw and your fingers wrap around his wrist tightly

okay

yeah

just go with it

kiss him

he’s a nice guy!!!!! he bought manY drinks for you, he invited you and your friends to his vip room, he’s nice!!!!!

you’re going to give this complete sTRanger your first kiss even though you would much rather give it to yoongi

jin has nice lips though so maybe you can just preTEnd it’s yoo-

“waIT WAIt waIT-“ jin jolts in surprise before his eyes pop open and he blinks at you “i- my lips are chapped.”  

his eyes flicker down to your lips and you feel your cheeks flush when his thumb brushes over your bottom lip “they feel awfully smooth to me.”

he starts leaning in again

and in the corner of your eye you see yoongi leaning in and whispering something into jennie’s ear

she places her hand on his knee and starts sliding it up his thigh

and you don’t know what happens

but you snAp

“what the hell is wrong with you??”

y i k e s

jin’s eyes pop open and he’s about to retaliate but he realises you’re not even looking at him

you’re looking at yoongi

yoongi furrows his brows before scoffing and look around the circle “is this part of the game?” he jokes and there’s like a scAtter of nervous laughter

“i’m-“ you look around the circle as well and swallow thickly

ok

maybe u just embarrassed urself a little bit by your outburst

a couple people are avoiding eye contact with you

namjoon presses his lips together and looks down when you look at him

hoseok is giving you a pity-infused smile

and jungkook

jungkook fell asleep on one of the girls

“i’m- uh, i should go.” you mutter and get up off the ground “soRRy about that, you guys!” you clear your throat and gesture to the bottle “someone else can take my turn!”

“i’ll spin!” jin claps his hands together when a beat of silence goes by “if ya can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen!” he jokes

another round of scattered laughter

at least there’s less awKward tension

you can feel how hot your face is from under your makeup

at least it’s full coverage so no one will ever be able to tell that your face is on FIRE

the chilly air sobers you up a little more as you push the door open

you let out a breath and pull your phone out to call an uber

you just want to go home

wipe all this makeup off

wash your hair

maybe you’ll take a bubble bath

do a face mask

“y/n, wait-“ the momeNT you hear yoongi’s voice all hell breaks loose once again

you are AN G RY

“let gO of me-!” you shove yoongi’s hand off your wrist before whipping around and adjusting your purse on your shoulder with a huff

yoongi immediately raises his hands in defence before he furrows his brows at you “what the hell was that all about?? are you ok-“

“is this just a game to you??”

yoongi blinks at you before scratching the back of his neck

“is… is the game… just a game to me?”

“no i’m not talking about the stUpid game yoongi i’m talking about-“ you pause because you don’t really know hoW to word this without sounding like an obsessive maniac “i don’t understand you! i thought you- you’re just sO fruSTRATING”

yoongi scoffs immEdiately and crosses his arms

“i don’t think you’re allowed to say that when you were the one flirting with jin like craZy”

“i wasn’t- i wasn’t flirting with him!”

“you totALLy were! someone would have to be blind if they thought you weren’t flirting with him!”

“you were the one who literally mADE out with someone else!!!”

“y/n, it was a game-“

“i just don’t think it’s fair that yOU were the one who invited me to this hole in the wall and then yOU go off and start making out with someone else and dancing and-“

“well you know what i am so so sorry for taking you to this grubby hole in the wall!” yoongi snaps and you shut up immediately “you know what, you’re right, i think it’d be better if you just left.”

“i think it’d be better if we just nEver saw each other again!” you snap and cross your arms “we’re compLETE opposites-“

“sounds good to me!!! we’re from two diFFerent worlds so you should heAd back to the land of elitists because i- oh! should i hail a cab for you or is that too gross and poor for little miss spoilt brat??” yoongi’s tone is sO patronising and you’re (this) close to slapping him across the face “what’s the matter?? something doesn’t go your way so the firSt thing you do is sTorm out like a child????”

“excuse me?!” you hiss and shove at his chest “you’re an asshole. you’re an asshole!”

you already feel angry tears prickling at your eyes as you whip around

“fuck, y/n, wait-!”

all you know is that you don’t ever want to see min yoongi ever again and you’d be happy to get in your car and run him over and over and over and ovER agAIN

and suddenly you’re reminded that you don’t have a car to run him over with because your car is in hIS damn SHOP

“y/n, i didn’t mean-“

somehow you manage to cross the street without tripping over yourself and you pick up the pace to get as far away from yoongi as possible

god

what a night

you should’ve stayed home

the moment you step into the penthouse everything just seems to go wrong

your keys fall the ground with a clatter

you nearly trIp and fall flat on your face as you undo your sandals

you toss your clutch onto the couch but it bounces off the pillows and falls to the ground

you head straight to your bedroom and the second you throw yourself onto the bed you burst into tears

you hate everything

everything sucks

min yoongi espeCially sucks

you hate that he,.,.,. he patronised and belittled you like that

you haTe that he made all those comments about you being a spoilt brat because everyone who’s ever been mean to you have made those exact comments and you never thought yoongi would be one of those people

okay look

you don’t want to be one of those rich people but you can’t help it!!!! yes you’ve always had more of a comfortable lifestyle (which is completely out of your control like wtf you didn’t chOOSe to be born into a well-off family) but like.,., at the same time it’s isolated you

throughout elementary school and high school you know for a fact you were invited to all those parties and dinners only because people knew that you’d be the one who’d get them the most expensive presents (you got this one girl a purse from louis vuitton one year and the next year when you got her a bag of gummy bears ((because she liKED guMMY BEARs)) she literally threw them into the bin and you were like??? and then when you apologised and gave her a necklace from tiffany’s she immediately forgave you and you did noT like that vibe) or you’d be the one who was always like “i’ll get the bill!!!! no worries!!!!!!”

and now we’re back to square 1

completely alone

because you’ll never be anything more than little miss spoilt brat who maxes out daddy’s credit card and pouts when she doesn’t get what she wants  

oh my god

you’re going to be become one of those rich old ladies who don’t have anybody to share their huGe mansions with

“hyung? you alright?” jungkook asks meekly

as soon as yoongi ran out after you all of the boys did the same

of course they kept their distance but they heard evErything from your guys’ conversation

and now yoongi’s just standing by the truck

namjoon clears his throat before jingling the keys in his fingers (they fell out of yoongi’s pocket when he ran out) “i’ll drive because i only took that one shot and i’m pretty sure it’s worn off-“

all of a sudden yoongi swINgs his fist and drives it sTraight into the side mirror

hoseok yelps in surprise and jimin immediately slaps a hand over his mouth

the mirror immediately cracks and shatters into pieces before splintering onto the ground

yoongi’s panting slightly as he inspects the damage on boTh the mirror and his fist

droplets of blood splatter onto the floor among the pieces of glass

he clenches his fist and watches as crimson continues to ooze out of the fresh wound

yoongi opens the door and hops into the truck before slamming the door shut

everyone else kinda looks at each other

poor jungkook has gone has white as a sheet of paper because he gets vEry queasy over the sight of blood

“he bent the mirror.” tae squeaks out

he did noT know yoongi was capable of causing that much damage

“everyone get into the truck. now.” namjoon hisses lowly and everyone scuRries to get in

the shards of glass crunch underneath the tires as namjoon pulls out of the parking spot

yoongi stays silent the entire ride back

he doesn’t flinch when namjoon tends to his wounds and literally pulls a thin sliver of glass out from his knuckles

it sTings and burns like hell but it doesn’t show on his face

it’s fine

yoongi knows he deserves the pain.

it has officially been twelve days since the blowout

and yoongi thinks he’s losing his mind

he can’t stop thinking about you

he can’t stop thinking about how your eyes glazed over and your bottom lip trembled

how your voice wavered as you shoved at his chest and called him an asshole

it doesn’t matter

you two would’ve never worked out anyway so maybe this fight was for the best

he just won’T come in to work the day you come and pick your car up

yeah! it doesn’t matter at all

all you are is an entitled trust fund baby who whines when she doesn’t get what she wants and when you dO get what you want it’s simply not enough

but oh

yoongi knows he’s just lying through his teeth when he says that

you’re noT just this one-dimensional princess

there’s more to you than just that

there’s so much more to you

you’re so kindhearted and generous

hE was the one who fucked up

hE was the one who got weirdly insecure and completely lashed out on you

hE was the one who made out with that jennie girl in front of you knowIng that there was something between the two of you even though it had never been established

he knEW that you liked him yet he still pulled all that shit

why?????? WHY?????

anyways

he hasn’t made a move to text or call you because he knows you’re not going to respond to him

he did draft out this long long text message but he ended up deleting it

and he was going to leave a voicemail but it was just really awkward and also he ran out of time

it kept beeping on him before he could finish his speech

he knows he’s the last person you want to hear from right now

yoongi looks down at his wrapped up knuckles and slowly makes a fist

oW

why couldn’t he have punched a piLLOW

yoongi swivels around in his chair when he hears a gentle knock on the door

“what do you want?” he gets straIght to the point and jimin raises a brow before deciding it’s okay to let himself in

“uh, i just need you to sign off on this order.” he places the clipboard on the desk

yoongi’s pen glides over the dotted line quickly and he clicks it before shoving it back into the pen holder

“cool, thanks.” jimin nods and picks the clipboard back up

before he can make it to the door yoongi speaks up again

“can i ask you something?”

jimin turns to glance over his shoulder before he turns all the way so he can face yoongi

he has a feeling he knows where this is going

“you guys heard everything, didn’t you?”

“heard wha-“

“you know what i’m talking about.” yoongi says gently

jimin knows it’s best noT to beat around the bush

after all he doesn’t want to end up like that side mirror

lol

.,,.,too soon?

“um, yes. yes, we heard everything. we didn’t mean to, though, we just ran out because-“

“on a scale from 1 to 10 how badly did i fuck it up with y/n?”

god damnit

he should’ve gotten jungkook to come in here and ask yoongi to sign the sheet

jimin immediately presses his lips together and avoids yoongi’s gaze “with all due respect hyung i really don’t think it’s any of my business-“

“i just need you to be honest with me because i have no idea what to do and i-“

“like a 20. like a colossal 20.” jimin blurts out and offers him a shrug when yoongi stares at him in shoCK

twenty????? TWENTY OUT OF TEN

yoongi lets out a groan and leans back against his chair and he stares at the ceiling fan whirring around and around

he presses the heels of his hands into his eyes and curses to himself

“do you like her?”

“of course i like her, you moron.” yoongi scoffs and shoots him a dirty look

“hey you know what i don’t have to help you if i don’t want to.” jimin starts to get up and yoongi reaches out to grab onto his wrist

he lets out a sigh “i’m… i’m sorry. i know you’re just trying to help, i’m just kiNDa all over the place right now”

jimin plops back down on the seat

“so you like her?”

“as we’ve established already yeS i do like her”

“well why don’t you just tell her that?”

“i don’t… i can’t.” yoongi exasperates and tilts his head back before folding his hands on his stomach

“what do you mean?? it’s obvious she likes you back. or she at least likeD you back. i’m not sure about it with the present situation.”

yoongi gives him a warning look

“i’m not… i’m not for people like her, y’know?”

jimin snorts and leans back against the chair “what’s that supposed to mean? are you from mars? are you not human?”

“not like thAt! she’s supposed to be with like… i don’t know, a businessman or a manager or-“

“you’re a businessman aNd a manager-“

“of a car repair shop, jimin. not like some biG shot car repair shop either.”

“you’re overthinking this big time. i’m not going to sit here and deliver a whole speech about you need to follow your heart and all that bullshit - at the end of the day, y/n obviously likes you for you. so get your head out of your ass and talk to her before it’s too late.”

“what if it’s already too late?”

“trust me, it’s not. knowing y/n she probably would’ve broken into the shop in the middle of the night to get her car back if she never wanted to see you again.”

yoongi can’t help but laugh at the sight of you picking a lock with like a gucci hairpin or something

“…can i clock out early because i helped you?”

“absolutely not.”

you spoon a bite of coco puffs into your mouth and chew slowly

yuck

room temperature cereal is not pleasant

mushy cereal is not pleasant either

would not recommend

0/10

you toss the bowl into the sink carelessly and winCe at the loud clank

oops

you haven’t been up to a lot lately in the past twelve days

you go to class

you go home

you do work

you turn netflix on

you eat dinner

you take a shower

you go to bed

time seems to have meshed together nowadays

you just feel so

..,drained

your phone buzzes on the counter and your heart drops to your stomach when you see the contact name

‘min mechanics’

o no

you’re not ready

you don’t want to talk to him

your finger hovers over the decline button but it seems that your finger has a mind of its own because-

“oh shit-“ you pick the phone up as soon as you hit the accept button “hello?” you clear your throat

“y/n? hey! it’s namjoon.” you can’t help but let out a breath of relief because if it was yoongi who called you would not have known how to react

“joon, what’s up?”

“beeper is ready for you!! we polished him up and everything! you can come pick him up whenever you’d like.”

“…you can’t drive him to my place or anything?”

you hear namjoon let out a sigh from the other end of the phone

“i could do that for you… but i think you and yoongi have some things to talk about.”

“i don’t want to talk to him.” you murmur and namjoon hEars the pout in your voice

“i know you don’t, but you know you need to talk to him. it’s definitely going to be awkward but-”

“i don’t even think he wants me around, namjoon. he said it himself, we’re from two different worlds!” you huff and flop down on your bed

“obviously it’s none of my business but i just… yoongi’s happier when you’re around, y’know? and i know for a fact that he makes you just as happy - it’s pretty obvious you two are… into each other, and i just think it’d suck if you let this bump in the road ruin your relationship with him… he’s stubborn, i know…”

“he said a lot of hurtful things, joon.” you feel your eyes starting to water as you’re forCed to relive the memory “like, a lot of hurtful things.”

“i know he did. i- i don’t know what to say about that but you have to believe me when i say yoongi is not that kind of person. just… please come?”

well

it looks like you don’t have much of a choice because you do need your car back

“…i’ll swing by later, joon.”

you heard namjoon let out a breath of relief “that’s great, y/n, that’s so great. i’ll see you later!”

yes

you will noT regret this

plus you do want to clear the air with yoongi even though you hate confrontation

anD you want to apologise because it wasn’t right for you to freak out like that when he was with that other girl

you guys hadn’t established any kind of relationship so it simply didn’t make sense for you to be all bOO-hooey and-

ooH or you could just get a new car so you never have to see him again

maybe you’ll move to greece

live on a vineyard

start your own wine-making business

enjoy fresh pita and hummus and kalamata olives everyday

noPE

don’t do that

don’t throw money at your problems and expect them to go away (even though you can definitely afford to move to greece)

you are noT that cowardly person anymore

“miss? uh, we’re here.” you look out the window and feel your heart starting to race when you see that familiar sign

min mechanics

ok

it’ll be fine

just go in

find namjoon

find beeper

and get the heCk out of here

it was a mistake to wear your boots today because you are doing the complete OPPOSITE of avoiding attention

click clack click clack clickclackclickclackclickclackclickclack

“hey guys” you smile shyly when you pass by the boys

they’re all working together on a convertible and they all look shoCked that you actually came  

aLL the boys are here

which has to mean that yoongi’s around here somewhere

o god

you’re like three seconds away from getting a heart attack

okay nope

just focus

you push the door open and the bell tinkles

“joon,” you are sO relieved to see namjoon sitting behind the counter “sorry i took so long to get here.”

the door to yoongi’s office is closed

thank god

maybe he didn’t come in today

“it’s all good!” namjoon chirps and pulls out a couple sheets of paper from a file before getting up and placing them on the counter ”how have you been? uh, sign here, and here.”

“i’ve been good! a little busy with studying for finals and all that but either than that i’ve been good.” you nod and click the pen “how about you?”

“i’ve been doing well. i’ve been watching these nature documentaries on netflix-“

“-planet earth?” your hand pauses on the sheet and for the firSt time in twelve days you flash a genuine smile

“planet earth!” namjoon laughs lightly “it’s a great series, i love it.”

it’s a good thing you and namjoon have good small-talking skills otherwise it would just be compLETE silence right now

“okay, there you go.” you set the pen down and namjoon takes the sheets from you and double-checks that you signed everything

“i’ll go and get beeper ready for you! just wait here, i’ll be riGht back.”

“wait but-“ before you know it namjoon walks past you and leaves you aloNE in the office and you start chewing on your bottom lip nervously

maybe you can go hide in the washroom til namjoon comes back

yep

sounds like a good plan-

all of a sudden the office door opens and you feel your heart stop

frICK

“hey namjoon have you seen the- …oh, uh…“

“hi.”

“hey.”

a beat of awkward silence goes by

the tension is sO thick and you’ve never been so uncomfortable in your entire life

“i was just- sorry, i was looking for namjoon.”

“oh, he, um, he’s getting bee- my car, he’s getting my car for me.” you clear your throat and gesture towards the front door

“cool, cool.” yoongi slaps a hand against the frame of the door gently and nods

christ this is awkward

what happened to that small-talking skill girL

“alright, y/n! he’s all set and ready to go!” namjoon sticks his head in and he falters when he registers what’s going on

his eyes flicker in between you and yoongi “oh, sorry, was i interrupting-“

“nO no you weren’t! i’m comIng” you move at lightning speed to get as far away from yoongi as possible  

“y/n wait-“ there’s no way in hell yoongi’s going to let you get away agaIN

he’ll find another dang mirror to punch if he lets that happen

namjoon hands him the keys to beeper along with a notepad “you should probably do the final check on the car instead of me”

“yeah, thanks man.” yoongi tucks the notepad into his back pocket before jogging out

“heY jimin did a really good job with the polishing!” you smooth your hands over beeper’s hood “beeper’s blinDing me-“ you turn around and jump in surprise when you see that it’s yoongi standing behind you and not namjoon “….where’s nam-“

“please shut up for like one second.”

ooOOOKAY

noT the greatest opening line!!!!!!!!!!!!

oof

yikes

…,,.yooF

he’s nERVOUS OKAY

he wasn’t expecting to have to deal with this sO quickly

if he’d had known that you were coming today he would’ve prepared some flash cards or something but this is his chance to just be completely real with you and get everything off his chest

“y/n, i’m sorry. really, i am. i’m not very… good with apologies but this is me trying my best.” he clears his throat and he looks like he’s having a hard time collecting everything that he wants to say to you “all the things i said to you… god, i was a complete asshole and you didn’t deserve any of that. i-i didn’t even mean any of that shit i said, y’know? i think i just… i got all weird and insecure because i saw you with jin and i just… it reminded me that we… we’re… i’m… i mean, i’m a mechanic, for crying out loud. i fix cars for a living and he had a damn gold watch that probably costs more than my rent!! i understand if you don’t ever wanna talk to me again, i totally get it, i wouldn’t wanna see me again either after being spoken to like that but i just needed to say sorry to you to let you know that i really, really didn’t mean a word of what i said. you deserve so much better than me.” yoongi shrugs and scratches the back of his neck “i don’t know. it’s stupid. i’m stupid. i don’t-”

“the only difference between you and jin that i really care about is the fact that i don’t like jin, but i… i like you.” you admit shyly and if your face wasn’t red before it certainLy is now “and it doesn’t matter to me that you’re a mechanic, y’know? i’m sorry, too. i said some things that i didn’t mean either… i really appreciated you asking me to hang out with you and the guys and that place wasn’t even that grubby!! i was just being- i don’t know, i think i just mad at you because you.. dId all that with jennie-“

“-which was the worst kiss of my life if that makes you feel any better-“

“i’ll forgive you if you forgive me?” you suggest and yoongi nods enthusiastically

“i will find a way to make it up to you, i swear.”

“also, you’re a moron.”

“wha- well, yeah, i guess i deserve that but-“

“okay now it’s youR turn to shut up for like one second.” you stick your hand up and yoongi clams up immediately “you’re a moron for worrying that i was going to pick jin over you just because he’s a millionaire-“

“he’s a millionaire-!”

“because i could give leSS of a shit about that! you’re really sweet and kind and i think you’re awfully funny aNd not to mention you’re pretty easy on the eyes-“ okay y/n reel it back a bit lmao “a-anyways yeah that’s- look the point is you shouldn’t be insecure over something as silly as your job..,,. in faCt i think the whole mechanic thing is actually kinda sexy”

oKAY that’s noT reeling it back at ALL BUT GREAT GOD JO B you said what you wanted to say

“also…what the hell happened to your hand?”

oh right

yoongi glances down at his wrapped up hand

should he tell you that he punched a side mirror and had a shard of glass stuck in his knuckles

“eh, don’t worry about it. it was just an accident.” he waves it off

hm

you’ll find out soOner or later

“so-“ yoongi clears his throat “…you like me or you like-like me?” yoongi raises a brow and offers you a cocky smirk and you immediately scoff in response and cross your arms before looking in the other direction

“don’t flatter yourself i was just being nice”

“don’t lie to me now” yoongi steps closer to you and hooks a finger under your chin before turning your head so that you’re facing him “you got anything you wanna ask me?”

your eyes immediately widen

well

yes

you have a question for him of course you have a question for him

hoW do you even approach a situation like this do you just bluRt it out????

“do you, um, do you…” you puff your cheeks out in frustration and immediately divert your gaze to the ground

you start toeing at the ground nervously (which is something you haven’t done since you were like 12) while your fingers tug at the hem of your blouse

“like… i-i just… do you… do you like me? …back? do you like me back?” you finAlly get it out of your system and you feel like your entire face is on fire “it’s just… sometimes i get the feeling that you like me and other times i get the feeling that you’re just being friendly and i’ve never really, y’know, i don’t have a lot of experience with this kinda stuff so i just need you to tell me straight up if you like me back or if i’m just being delusional…”

“what do you mean by not having a lot of experience with ‘this kinda stuff’? you mean going out and getting something you want by yourself?” yoongi teases and your cheeks flush even further

wow

now that you two have forgiven each other it seems like he’s reverteD back to his usual self

yoongi likes this

this is a fun game

obviously you’re used to getting what you want with the snap of your fingers

and yoongi is a firm believer in the idea that in order to get what you want you gotta work hard

you gotta put in the effort!!!!

yeah suRe he knows that you like him just as much as he likes you (and thaT gets him super excited)

but he’s not going to give in to you that easy

no no

if you want him you better shoW him that you want him

“well yes buT also i meant like… boy-related experiences? i dunno” god this is humiliating

you hATE this

if you could turn back time you wouldn’t have brought this shit up in the first place you should’ve just hoPPEd into beeper and nyOOmed out of the garage “i haven’t even had my first kiss yet so like- look just teLL me if you like me back or not because i’m about to lose my-“  

“wait- you’ve never been kissed?” yoongi’s brows furrow in confusion and he tilts his head

how is that possible

how is it possible that you’ve never been kissed

ok well

now he feels a little bad for dragging this whole thing out

and also

he’s never seen you so… insecure? before

you can’t even look him in the eye

“are you kidding me?”

what the heck!!!!!!!!!!!

of course he likes you!!!!!

he’s liked you from day one!! when you walked in with your leather booties and your heart-shaped sunglasses and your little ‘hellooOOOoOo’

he liked you even more when you shoved your clobbered side mirror into his chest and insisted he fix your car right now immediately

and he liked you even even more when jungkook was straight up flexing in front of you but all you were paying attention to was him with your bottom lip tucked in between your teeth and your cheeks all pink and rosy

that was for him

all for him

“well you don’t have to say it like thAt” you grumble and reach up to scratch at the back of your neck “look thiS was stupid just forget i said anythi-“

“i like you back. i definitely like you back.” yoongi admits casually as he scribbles something on his little notepad

“you- oh. okay.”

ok

you didn’t think thiS far ahead

what’s your next move

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

“so what are you gonna do about it?” yoongi tucks his notepad into his pocket and crosses his arms before looking at you expectantly

uHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

he pokes his tongue into his cheek and tilts his head when you continue to stand there and stare at him blankly like a deer in headlights “ah. so you’re not going to do anything about it. alright.” he sighs and turns to head back to the office “i’m just going to bring namjoon back out here and he’ll take care of-“

and before you know it you’re grabbing onto his wrist and yanking him back and-

yoongi feels like his heart is about to explode when you pull him down and press your lips against his

his eyes flutter shut and he places his hands on your hips and gives you a gentle squeeze

your arms are wrapped loosely around his neck and you pull away with flushed cheeks

oh god

u just kissed yoongi

thAt was your first kiss

mission success!!!!!!!!!

“…there, i did something about it” you grumble and puLL your arms back

and then it hits you

oh my god i just kissed yoongi and woW his lips are like supEr soft and he tastes like cherry which makes sense because he loves those lollipops-

“you’re so cute.” yoongi laughs and nudges you back til you’re sitting on beeper’s hood

you’re pretty sure you’re not supposed to be sitting on beeper

“what are you doing? i-“

you know what you could care leSS about beeper because yoongi’s kiSsing you!!!! again!!!

AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

:~)

you have your fingers curled up in yoongi’s jumpsuit as you kiss him back and you let out a little whimper

yoongi’s thumbs circle your kneecaps before they drag a cheEky trail up the inside of your thighs

he squeezes your thighs and encourages you to open them wide enough so that he can stand in between them

“you good?” he mutters against your lips and you nod quickly and pull him closer

goD you’re so CUTE

he’s so soft for you it’s insane

he pulls your hand away from his jumpsuit and brings it up so that you can wrap your fingers around the nape of his neck

you immediately slide your hand up and tangle your fingers into his soft locks “there you go”

yoongi pulls away from you and revels in the small whimper that you let out

god

aren’t you a vision

your lips are swollen and glossy and your eyes are all blown out and your cheeks are warm and rosy

all that just from a little bit of kissing

“why’d you stop?” you pout and tug at his wrist

“you’d pass out if i continued.” he smirks and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear “and it appears we have an audience, don’t we?” he gets a little louder towards the end of his question and you immediately twist around to look behind you

sure enouGH the boys are all crouched behind a truck staring at the two of you like a bunch of PERVS

they immediately break off and pretend like they weren’t just watching you guys maKe out with each other

jungkook and taehyung bump into each other in their rush to head back to their stations and you snort at the sight

you turn back to face yoongi

“it was probably a good thing we were interrupted” yoongi leans down and gives you another quick kiss before helping you off the hood of the car

“what makes you say that?”

“i was fully ready to go down on you on top of-“

“bEEPER??” you gasp in mock horror and slap your hands over the top of beeper’s hood “you were going to defile me on top of my own car??”

“i mean…” yoongi shrugs before nodding

take you over the hood of your car?

heck yeah he would

he’d take you over the hood of anY car

“don’t listen to him beeper,.,.,. i’d neVer do that to you…”

if yoongi didn’t know any better it’d probably be safe to say that you might be a little tOo in love with beeper

yoongi is a busy man

he has a lot of cars he has to patch up and a lot of parts he has to put together

but uh

making out with u in the driver’s seat of his truck is a much better way to pass the time

he’ll just get the others to take care of the parts for him later

“u know i’m supposed to be replacing a muffler right now…” yoongi lifts his face and brushes his lips against yours teasingly

you can’t help but grin when you pull away slightly and yoongi squeezes your waist in warning

“u know that sounds like a you problem” your nose nudges against his and yoongi tilts his head upwards to kiss you again

since the two of you made up and forgave each other you’ve been visiting the shop moRe than three to four times a week

you practically live at the shop now

and yoongi doesn’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing

on one hand he likes having you around and he likes getting to kiss u whenever he wants

but on the other hand

it’s vEry distracting having you around and getting to kiss u whenever he wants because he aLways wants to kiss you

another bAd thing

whenever he kisses you the others get all oOoOooohHHhHhhh and yoongi is always so tempted to hurl a wrench at all of them

anyways

yoongi’s on his lunch break (that ended twenty minutes ago) and he decided to sneak you into his truck that’s parked in the back alley

his lips move with yours slowly and he revels in the little whimper that leaves you when he nips at your bottom lip

you’re acting extra cute for somE reason

and you look extra cute too

you’re wearing a pretty floral romper paired with your faVourite boots and once again you will never admit to anybody that it took you an hour and a half (you’re getting better) to throw it on

you decide that you’re going to be bold today and you find your hands slowly sliding down yoongi’s chest til they reach the buckle of his belt

yoongi reaches down quickly and wraps his slim fingers around your wrist before offering you a smirk and a tilt of his head “someone’s a little eager, no?”

“don’t you want me?” you push your bottom lip out in a pout and yoongi leans in to give you a lil peck

“course i do.” he chuckles lowly before raising a brow “but how about we start off with something more mild, hm?” he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear before his fingers glide down your jaw and he hooks one under your chin

“like what?” you lean down a little and nip at his fingers playfully and yoongi has never felt more fuckiGn endeared in his life

“do you trust me?”

“course i do.” you drape your arms around his shoulders

“alright, let’s just get you settled right here…” he lifts you up off his lap and onto his right leg instead

his.,., thigh?

you separate your legs so each knee settles on the leather seat on either side of his clothed thigh

ur not..,,.s ure what’s going on right now

but it’s once you get comfortable that you begin to feel the friction

“now what do i- oH-“ you gasp noisily when yoongi’s leg presses upwards and suddenly you spaSm a bit of out of surprise  

tingles shoot up your spine and your fingers twitch slightly on yoongi’s chest

“that feel good?”

“i- i’m not sure yet.” you blink down at yoongi’s thigh and he can’t help but laugh

“need me to help?”

“that would be ideal, yes.”

“well, it’s pretty easy. you just-“ he places his hands on your waist and pushes you back and imMediately you feel another spark of pleasure “and then you come this way,” he pulls you back and flexes his thigh underneath you and you let out a little hiccup

how..,,.intriguing

eventually you get the hang of things

you’re kinda doing it on your own but yoongi’s still guiding you back and forth a little

“that’s it, doll, just like that,” yoongi breathes out, his grip tightening on your waist as he helps you ride his leg

he leans back against the seat and watches you with hooded eyes as you continue to get yourself off on his thigh

your romper and your panties are botH very thin so you can just feel the rough fabric of yoongi’s jeans rubbing up against you

you’re not going too hard but you’re not going too soft either

yoongi swallows thickly because now he has a pretty good picture of what you’d look like riding his c-

“christ-“ you gasp as yoongi raises his leg and pushes riGht up into you as he leans in and attaches his mouth to your neck

“now does it feel good?” he murmurs against you and you gasp and wrap your fingers around the nape of his neck

you can’t even describe how amazing this feels and all your thoughts are just white noise because holy shit this feels so good

you nod quickly and let out a whimper when you feel another wave of pleasure tremor through your body

god

you’re so soft n warm

and so submissive

“yoongi, please...” you don’t even know what you’re pleading for here but that’s all that’s able to come out of your mouth

he looks down and groans quietly when he notices the damp patch on his jeans

“oh,” yoongi coos mockingly, “you sweet thing, you... i wanna wreck you.”

you let out a whine and press your forehead against his shoulder as you continue grinding down on his thigh

your desperation pulls a low moan from yoongi’s throat and he shifts underneath you

“there you go, baby… such a good girl…”

look

you’re not entirely sure what happened here

but somehow you shifted from yoongi’s thigh to yoongi’s crotch

and yoongi just wanted to make this about you so he also doesn’t know how this happened but boY is he glad it happened

you’re literally going to make him cream his pants like a overly-hormonal 14 year old boy and he hasn’t done that in a long loNG TIME but you know what he does noT mind

“ah, fuck-“ yoongi growls and clenches his jaw as his calloused fingers dig into your supple flesh as you continue grinding down on him

you know how yoongi mentioned earlier he had a rough idea of what you’d look like riding him

well now he has a really reALLY clear idea of what you’d look like riding him

he can tell you’re close by the way your breathing has gotten heavier and your cheeks have become more flushed

and he is definitely going to keep this image of you tucked in his brain for safekeeping

you grow dizzy from pleasure and all of your senses are in ovErdrive and all you can think of is yoongi yoongi yoongi yooNGi

“yoonGi, i think i- nngh, yoongi-!“ yoongi’s hand slides up your thigh and curves your waist before he’s gripping at your ass to mould you to him

“look at you, you pretty little thing,” yoongi groans when your hips stutter

you’re driving him absolutely wild  

“lemme hear you, doll, nice n loud for me-“

yoongi is panting because goddamN you really seem like you want him to come before you  

he can bArely keep it together but there’s no way he’s going to come first

he pushes you down on him and lifts his hips up at the same time and you throw your head back with a breathless moan

“i-i- oh, t-that feels really- hAh-“ yoongi sucks a hickey into your skin and continues forcing you down on him

“you have no idea how badly i wanna be inside of you-“ he growls lowly and that does the trick

your toes curl as you’re finaLLY pushed over the edge and you swear you see black dots in your vision, whimpering through your release  

the sound of you gasping his name out and the sight of you trembling above him is what eventually gets to yoongi and he curses to himself as he reaches his high and gasps your own name in return

you feel a warm gush from underneath you and your eyes widen at the wet spot on yoongi’s crotch area

he gives you a few final thrusts before he slides his hands down from your waist so that they rest on the tops of your thighs  

you’re still breathing heavily as you lean down to press your forehead against his

“hi.” yoongi grins and gives u a little kiss and you immediately shy away from him and he feels his heart practically exploDe in his chest

“hi.” you murmur as you keep your gaze on the silver chain around his neck

you reach down to fiddle with it because you don’t know whaT to do now

yoongi reaches up and hooks a finger underneath your chin so that he can finally catch your gaze “you okay?”

you nod shyly and feel your cheeks flush again

“what’s gotten into you, hm?” yoongi teases and leans in to give you another quick kiss “ya can’t get all shy on me now when you were humping me like a rabbit in heat literally thirty seconds ago”

“yOoNgI”

“no but really!! what’s up?”

“i just like u a lot” you admit and your nose scrunches

yoongi grins and feels his heart skip a beat

he reaches up and pinches your nose and you immediately scowl and flick his hand away

“i like you too, doll.”

out of all the mechanic shops in the city

you are vEry happy that beeper decided to run out of gas a minute away from min mechanics

:-)

so

here’s the deal

you asked yoongi to teach you how to change a tire and he was understandably vEry confused because on a list of things that you would never want to do he thinks it’s pretty safe to assume that ‘change a tire’ is on that list

he told you that if you ever got a flat tire all you’d need to do is call him and he’d come to save the day

but you defended your decision saying that you thought it was good for you aND it was an important life skill

because it is!!!! kinda??

for someone who was very adamant on learning how to change a tire you don’t seem to be paying much attention to the actual changing of the tire

“remember? righty tighty, lefty loosie.” yoongi places his hands over yours and helps you turn the wrench

he has a hand placed on your waist as he hovers over you from behind and your mouth tugs up in a subtle smirk when you feel him push himself against your bum (it wasn’t on purpose though because he’s just trying to get that lug nut loose since it’s screwed in real tight)

“righty loosie lefty tighty i got it”

.,.,,.,.,he’s sure you’ll figure it out eventually

“i’ll be back in twenty minutes to check up on you!”

“wait but don’t you wanna stay here to watch-“

“twenty minutes!” you scowl as you watch yoongi head back to the office

what the heCK

your plan has been foiled

you didn’t actually want to have to change aLL the tires!!!!!!!

you nearly fall flat on your ass when you give give the next lug nut a firm yaNk

aLas nothing happens

you don’t know how you’re supposed to change four tires when you can barely handle four lug nuts

aH

maybe if you put some grease around them they’ll be easier to unscrew

wow

you’re a genius

“did you manage to change all the-“

oh

now yoongi knows why you like it when he has smudges of grease all over his hands and his face

you’re gloWing from the exertion of changing tires and your (his) shirt is riding up a bit because you tied it up into a little knot

and he didn’t notice this earlier but your butt looks reALLy good in those jeans

“i did it! i changed every single tire on my own!!!” you wipe your hands on the rag before giving one of the tires a firm kick “look at these bAd boys! c’mon c’mon give me another set of tires to change that was so FUN” you bounce up and down on excitedly

you reach up to wipe your cheek with the back of your hand

“you should take a break and join me in my office!” yoongi takes your hand and starts dragging you towards the office

ya he’s 110% going to go down on you in his office

“or-“ you pull back a little and make him stop walking “oR you can give me another set of tires to change and you can go back to your office?”

yoongi freezes

.,,.what?

“you… you want to change more tires?”

“mhm!!”

“but i just- you don’t wanna go into my office?”

“why would i want to go to your office? there are no tires for me to change there.”

“.,,.go talk to hoseok to see if he has any cars for you to-“

“okAY BYE”

o god

he’s created a monster

ah

finals season

a wonderful time where students are forced to coop themselves up and build fortresses out of their notes and textbooks

you’re not sure how you survived through your finals considering you had like fiVe of them

but the point is

you are DONE

you’re finally done!!!!! you’re FREE

a downside to finals (adding to the other many maNy downsides of finals) is that you forced yourself to stay away from yoongi (and u made him promise not to come see you even tho he really reaLLy wanted to come see you) because you didn’t want to be distracted and min yoongi is a big big distraction

which means you haven’t seen yoongi in nearly two weeks

you’ve texted him and you’ve called him but the phone calls are brief and the text messages are short because time is precious when it comes to exams!!!!

it might not seem like it but you are (surprisingly) vEry studious

yoongi called u a nerd when he face-timed you one night and you were wearing your thick reading glasses because your eyes were starting to give up on you from like 6 hours of staring at your laptop  

“heLLooOOoooo” yoongi perks up when he hears a very familiar voice

he pokes his head up over the raised hood of the car

ah

theRE you are

yoongi grins from ear to ear when he sees you bouncE excitedly into the shop like a little bunny

once you spot him your eyes liGHT UP

“yoongi!!!!!!!!! i missed u!!!!!”

“yeah, baby? you missed me?” yoongi tosses the rag over his shoulder “how much did you miss me?” he teases and wraps an arm around your waist before pulling you closer

“missed you a whole lot.” you breathe out and your eyes flicker down to the lollipop in his mouth

“how were your finals?”

“they were good…” you’re barely paying attention to what yoongi’s saying because all you can focus on is how slick n red yoongi’s lips are

and then

a lightbulb appears above your head

“that’s great! i’ll take you out for ice cream as soon as i-“

you yank the lollipop out of his mouth and yoongi squawks in surprise

and then you’re wrapping your lips around the bright red sweet in a manner that seems far from innocent “what flavour is this?” you hum around the lollipop

yoongi’s mouth goes dry and he swallows thickly “cherry, i-i think. cherry.”

you pull it out from your lips with a pop and stick it back into yoongi’s mouth “i like strawberry more.” you wiggle out of his grip before patting his cheek “alright, i’ll leave you alone now!”

“oh nO you don’t-“ yoongi’s hand darts out and he grabs onto your wrist before tugging you backwards “what makes you think you can get away with doing something like that so easily???”

“because you like me and ur not going to do anyThing about it” you giggle when his fingers dig into your sides playfully

yoongi pauses and raises a brow at you

“…is that a challenge?”

“you tell me” you shrug innocently

you know

you should really learn to keep your mouth shut sometimes

or maybe not

because you’re in a preTty nice situation right now

“you’ll stay nice n quiet for me, won’t you, doll?” yoongi hums against your neck

your skin burns with his touch as he slides his hand over the tops of your thighs before he’s nudging your knees apart so he can settle in comfortably

“no promises.” you giggle softly when you feel his hands sliding underneath your sundress

yoongi pauses all of a sudden and you’re abOUt to retract your statement but then-

“gimme a sec. i’ll be back.”

o

ok

you hear him leave the room and close the door behind him and you start swinging your legs back n forth

and then you stop

oh god

you hope he’s not like.,.,,. puniShing you or anything

he’s not mean enough to leave you high and dry like this right

.,,.,.,.right

yoongi shuts the door behind him as he comes back in

he’s hiding something behind his back

“whatcha got there?”

he takes your chin in between his pointer finger and his thumb and then he taps your bottom lip gently with his thumb “open.”

you part your lips slightly

yoongi slides a lollipop into your mouth and you immediately hum contently

peaches and cream!!!!!!!!

needless to say the lollipop actually does a pretty solid job at keeping you quiet

well

kinda

yoongi might have to pull out his spare bandana or something for extrA reinforcements but he’s kind of preoccupied right now

yoongi’s tattooed arm wraps around your middle and he has a hand gripping your hip as he presses you flush to him

“yoOngi- oh, god, yoongi-“ you gasp

he buries his face in your neck before starting to kiss and suck marks into your skin

“so fucking tight-“ yoongi grunts and you nEarly crunch down on the lollipop when he hits that golden spot

“mmpH-“ you suck exTra hard around the lollipop when yoongi picks up the pace

you can barely keep yourself up

you’re tempted to just floP down on the desk and let him have you like that

each snap of his hips against your lower back is more powerful than the next

ur literally going to break a tooth this lollipop thing was not a good idea

you yank it out of your mouth and it drops to the desk with a clatter

also it was making you drool big time and you don’t know if that’s a particularly sexy look or not

honestly you’re pretty sure yoongi doesn’t care whether you’re loud or not because yOU could care less about your volume

“f-fuck, yoongi,” your eyes roll to the back of your head when yoongi’s hand slithers in between your legs “oh, my god-“ your knuckles turn white as you grip the sides of his desk

“too loud, baby,” yoongi smirks as he nips at your shoulders gently

“s-sorry, ‘m sorry- nngh-“ you can feel his stomach muscles clenching against your back and that only spurs you on

“you gonna cum for me, hm?” you can hear the strain in his voice and you can’t help but feel a liTTle cocky now that you know you have just as much of an effect as he has on you

“c’mon, be a good girl n cum for me…” he rasps against the shell of your ear and that’s all it takes for you to completely loSe it

you immediately slump against the desk as your arms give out

you’re a whimpering mess as yoongi continues fucking you through your orgasm

his hand falls from in between your legs to grip your hip again and he presses soothing kisses along your back

“i wouldn’t suggest going in there if i were you.” namjoon warns as jimin approaches the door to the general office

“why not? and why.,.,. are you sitting out here instead of at the counter.,,.,.”  

“why do you think?”

“yoOngi- oh, god, yoongi-“

jimin gawks and yanks his hand away from the door handle as if it shOcked him “do- do they know we’re all still here???”

“yep.” namjoon hums nonchalantly and flips to the next page of his book “just give ‘em some time.”

“how muCH time??”

“i think half an hour will suffice.”

“by the sounds of it it seems like they’re going to want more than half an hour.” jimin mutters  

okay

you’re pretty sure jungkook was a serial killer in his past life

“sTOP IT yOU PSYCHOPATH” you shriek and make your fouRth round sprinting around the garage

jungkook cackles with glee behind you as he continues pointing the electric drill at you and pushing down on the trigger

you haven’t looked behind you but you can heAR the vRRRt vRt vRRRRTttTTT and you are scared out of your MIND

you made an offhand comment about how you feel like you should start working out and jungkook graciously offered to help you with some cardio

but you didn’t know what would mean him chasing you around the garage threatening to drill a hole into your head

and at first it was funny but now you genuinely think he wants to screw you (not like thAt)

“ooF-“ you stumble riGht into yoongi’s chest and you would’ve fallen flat on your ass had he not reached out and grabbed onto you

“what the hell are you doing??? that’s so dangerous!” yoongi snaps as jungkook finally catches up to you “if you’re going to waste your time by goofing off i’ll make you stay extra late to clean the washrooms - and that goes the same for you, miss ‘i need to finish my essay’.”

uM

why are you getting scolded??? you don’t even woRK here

maybe they’re all psychopaths and its just taken you a while to notice

“oh pLease like you weren’t goofing off earlier” jungkook grumbles and hands the drill over to yoongi

“what are you talking about?”

“don’t act like you weren’t fucking y/n into next week like two hours ago-“

yoongi gives him a warning look and-

vRT VRT

jungkook screeches

ok ya that was not enjoyable now he can see why you were so terrified

“yOoOooooonGGGGGiiiIiI-“

“y/n, i’m really, really busy right now” yoongi points out as he gestures to all the parts lying around him

“i know, but i need you to come here for a sec!!!!” he can SEE how big your pout is even though you’re halfway across the garage

“can’t you wait for like another 20 minutes-“

“pLeEEeEEeeeEEAAaaAaaASssSssEEEEe-“

yoongi lets out a huff and rolls his eyes playfully because he’s pretty sure you’re not going to cut it out if he doesn’t go over to you right now

hoseok snorts when he sees you pull out the puppy dog eyes

“you go take care of that, i’m sure we’ll survive without you for five minutes”

cLAnK

yoongi and hoseok both whIp their heads around to the source of the sound and jungkook’s standing there with a sheepish smile on his face

he just dropped a fuel filter it’s not a big deal

“alright, i’ll be right back.” yoongi tosses the rag over his shoulder before jogging over to you

“what’s up?”

you flip to the next page of the magazine without looking up at yoongi

“i’d like a lollipop please.”

//……r u kidding

yoongi’s eyes flicker to the office door “…you’re like 10 steps away from the office. i was halfway across the garage.”

you put the magazine down and pout up at him “please? strawberry, preferably.”

yoongi narrows his eyes at you and crosses his arms “why am i doing this for you again?”

“because you like me” you respond simply and shrug casually

“ah, i guess you got me there.” he leans down and you grin exciTedly because u always like kissing yoongi

you instinctively lean up and purse your lips

but you’re moRe than surprised when he doesn’t kiss you but hovers over your mouth instead

“you have feet. get one for yourself.” he murmurs lowly

he gives your top lip a gentle little kith before patting your cheek and heading back to the boys

wha-

okay noW you’re definitely getting your dad to sue min mechanics

[analyzingadventure]

Oh boy have I not watched Psi for a long time, oh man have I missed out on Some Stuff (I’ve only heard the names of like three Digimon mentioned but oh man did those names alone come with Some Package)

Let’s watch episodes 25-31 then and catch up!

So just to recap, last time Agumon evolved to Mugendramon, fucked some shit up because Taichi totally 100% legit died, temporary evolved to WarGreymon I think (I can’t remember man lmao) and beat the shit outta DoneDevimon

25! Dive to the Next Ocean!

Uhhh who the fuck yeeted ElDoradimon into the sky

This is so bad

They should die so hard

OHHH CLOUD CONTINENT IS IN THE SKYYY YESSS I LOVE THAT

Have I mentioned how much I love seeing the kids interact with their non-partner Digimon (and vice versa)? Because I do, I love this a lot (even if it ain’t much)

Ohhh Mugendramon was so sexy... I wanna rewatch episode 24 but I really need to catch up on this first

ElDoradimon’s gonna die from that fall, right? His joints are gonna get pulverized

Zurumon! :D I love these lemon jelly goops

HIKARI!!!!!! Baby!!

I wish Taichi and co would be like, trying to even think about how they’re gonna survive the fall- like I know Leomon saved them but they couldn’t like plan to just Get Saved, IDK it’s kinda off-putting how they’re so calm

Leomon to the rescue tho! Finally!

Patamon is so chumby, v good

Holy shit Leomon punches HARD, a single punch just straightened out ElDoradimon in one go, holy fuck

Finally they’re worried about dying from the fall

What happened to the Agu and Gabu being too exhausted to fight (I’m sorry this is just a massive pet peeve for me, ‘esp cause there’s like no reprecussions for the Digimon for pushing themselves here)

(Like it’d be one thing if they managed to evolve out of desperation but this ended up being like bad for them and force them to take longer rests later or IDK kill them, but when you’re just like “I’m too tired to fight- oh wait my friend is slightly in more danger now than before, I guess I can fight again”)

(This is an issue with most MotW shows and even some shounen series (I’m looking at you Bleach) so it’s not unique to Psi, p sure Adventure had this issue to some degree too, but still man, it’s a massive pet peeve and bothers me so much)

26! Break through the sea monster barricade!

God I love that the Cloud Continent is actually in the sky

Quality content (slightly cursed maybe)

Seadramon! Honestly I really love Seadramon?? Like it’s such a simple, minimalistic design but... IDK man I love Seadramon, it’s such a cool Digimon

OH SHIT IT EVOLVED! :O

I’m sorry I am just so not interested in the real world crisis (in the show), it’s... I’m sorry it’s so Mundane and I’m here for the Fantastical

WARUSEADRAMON! THE SLIGHTLY MORE GOTH SEADRAMON!! YEAAHHHHH

God I wish Psi just had perma-evolution, so many of my issues would be solved with perma-evolution

Aweeee yeah, MegaSeadramon’s here too, now we got both of them, yeeeeee

I love how Hikari is just quietly judging the other kids

Y’all okay with talking about Taichi being in a different world right in front of Hikari? I mean She Knows Things and they all just got taken to back to that world but still like, should you try to be more inconspicuous maybe

Oh my god how many times have they used that clip of Falcomon throwing bombs in this episode- four? That’s a lot yo

Taichi’s gonna get vored again, press F for him

The water is so deep how is Zudomon standing- oh I need to stop asking these things

HIKARIIIIII SHE’S HEEEREEE YEEEEEE

27! To the New Continent!

"Hikari, who called you?” “I don’t know :)” Honey that is so ominous I love you

AGUMON COMFORTING HIKARI AAAAAA I LOVE THAAAT

YESSSSS I LOVE THIS

This image has heavy Digimon Kaiser energy in it

I love how Psi!Jyou is like a try-hard in trying to help (while OG!Jyou was always struggling with figuring out what the right thing to do was etc)

Is... is the enemy a Tortamon? Oh yeah it’s Tortamons

OH WOW THERE’S A LOT OF THEM

OH SHIT IT’S AN GROUNDDRAMON! OH GOD THIS IS GRUESOME

Ikkakumon’s gonna get vored, F

You know I never thought Grounddramon would be so chomby based on the Bandai art but I guess Groundramon’s a real chomper

“Everyone, give Angewomon your power!”

GIGA DESTROYER AAAAAAAAAA

OH IT’S THE BASTARD!! DARK KNIGHTMON!!! THE SEXY BASTARD!! The one I’ve heard an interesting theory about... But I ain’t saying anything fornow

PATAMON EVOLVES??? (On command which is kinda bs)

ANGEMOOOOOON YEAAAAAHHHHHH

NEW ENDING TOO, YAY

Ohhh this ending has such nice, soft but jolly energy c: Also yay Tailmon

28! The Children’s Fight for Survival!

BTW Patamon with angel wings was a lowkey hilarious visual, 10/10 would laugh again

Still don’t like how we just got Angemon on demand like that

Oh yeah, out-of-context I heard a theory that DarkKnightmon is Tailmon and hearing Dark Knightmon’s voice, yeah I can see that (not to mention their facination with Hikari)

Oh man those are some Big Wings

Whu happen, did the kids get yeeted back to the Human World?? Oh no they’re still here

I bet Angemon’s dead again lmao

LMFAO JYOU FINALLY GETS TO CATCH A BREAK--

NANIMON NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Oh Patamon’s okay- REALLY TIRED (thank you Psi) but okay

I NEVER DISLIKED NANIMON UNTIL THIS VERY MOMENT

I AM SO UNCOMFORTABLE

PLEASE GO AT LEAST 500 METERS FURTHER AWAY FROM JYOU, PLEASE

Hikari being worried for MetalGreymon ;__;

Aweee yeah HIkari’s special Evolution Powers are still here! GET ‘IM WARGREYMON!!

Whoop Hikari got spirited away, F (she’ll be fine, SkullKnightmon ain’t gonna do shit to her, I’m sure)

Hikari volunteered to go... ;_;

29! Escape the Burning Jungle!

THERE’S MORE OF THEM

I mean at least they’re all just chillin’ and enjoying the bath instead of just staring at Jyou. I’ll considder that an improvement

YEAHHHH MEGADRAMONS!!

Ooooo a single lil Lopmon, I wonder if this will be an important character later

I like Woodmon, Woodmon are cool and chill

YEAH, DEFEND THE SMALL AND INNOCENT!

WOODMON NOOOOOOO ;A;

NOOOOOO A BUDMON DIED!!! NOT THE BABIES!!!

What do you mean MetalGreymon hurt when the tiny Allomon bit him ON HIS METAL ARM

I- I need to stay quiet or else I’m gonna end up with too many questions. I mean I already have too many but the less I question it the better

Woodmon, Budmon, I love your energy, please aim for Tankdramon’s eye, you could blind that fucker with ease

PARROTMON?!

30! WARGREYMON AAAAAAA

Man I have been quiet through this entire episode so far lmao

ANYWAY CROSSMON! HELL YEAH have we seen Crossmon animated before?

GIGA DESTROYER AAAAAAAAAAA anyways I think this is the first tme we’re seeing Crossmon animated (unless my memory is garbage, which it might just be)

Aaaand Taichi is dead

OH, HIS CREST IS THERE

WHAT’S THIS

WHAT’S THIS

Agumon....... I love you..........

Man this animator is making Crossmon look vaguely too humanoid for my taste.... And MetalGreymon’s super fucking jacked yo

NEW SONG YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

OH THAT’S SOME SEXY SEXY ANIMATION

OH WARGREYMON’S HUUUGE BRO

HOLY FUCK GAIA FORCE ANNIHILATED ALL OF THEM (but didn’t cause any environmental damage? Handy!)

Lopmon’s totally like Cherubimon or something, right? Reborn Cherubimon, right?

31. MILLENNIUMON

HERE IT IS, THE HEAVY PACKAGE I MENTIONED, THE EPISODE TITLE THAT MADE PEOPLE LOSE THEIR MINDS WHEN IT GOT ANNOUNCED

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING PSIIIII where the fuck are you going yoooooo

God WarGreymon’s so fucking big holy shit

OH YEAH LOPMON’S TOTALLY LIKE CHERUBIMON OR SOMETHING (I mean it’s not a plottwist by anymeans lmao)

LMAO Skull Knightmon looked away when Hikari noticed them looking at her lmao tsundere ass fucker

Wait the temple was also on Cloud Continent??? Like that whole area was still a part of Cloud Continent?????????? The geography of this world confuses me yo

BAKEMON!!! THERE’S BAKEMON!!! I LOVE BAKEMON SO MUCH!!! GIMME THE GHOSTIES!!!

NOOO MILLE WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY BAKEMON BABIES!! FUCK YOU LEAVE MY GHOST BUDDIES ALONE

YESSSS CHERUBIMON

OH IT WAS MILLE WHO STARTED THIS ENTIRE FUCKING MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE, HUH

WAIT FUCK MILLE IS BEHIND THE ENTIRE BS IN PSI

...AGUMON CAN EVOLVE TO MUGENDRAMON, WHO IS LIKE, KEY COMPONENT #1 TO MILLE

OH GOD WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

AGUMON EVOLVING TO MUGENDRAMON WASN’T JUST A CUTE REFERENCE TO THE DARK MASTERS, IS THERE GONNA BE THING WHERE AGUMON IS USED TO RECREATE MILLENIUMON??? (And they have to get Agumon Out Of There like they had to extract Tailmon (and Meicoomon until they gave up) out of Ordinemon in tri.???)

ANGEWOMON!!! THERE SHE IS!!

PSI SAYS OFANIMON RIGHTS

Oooo we’re on Eternal/Mugen Continent... Oooo :oc

I like how Sora is the Dedicated Character who will be there when we get like Backstory lmao

METALFANTOMON?! :O YEEAAAHHHH (Ngl when I saw the pink scythe for a moment I was hoping for Jokermon.......)

Oh wow that’s a lot of MetalFantomons

Man Kabuterimon sure is flying quietly (I mean adding the flying sound effect probbaly wouldn’t add much here but... It’s so quiet)

OH SHIT WE’RE GOING TO ULTIMATE ALREADY

I am gonna say, because Psi is constantly moving, like there’s constantly an oncoming threat and the characters never get to take a fucking break (that’s longer than 5 minutes), it just... Because there’s no contrast between danger and peace, it makes the non-stop danger feel far less dangerous imo

DOGGO DIGIMON!!

KOMONDOMON!!

OH SKULL KNIGHTMON HAS MILLE

OH FUCK DUDE

There is one more episode out but sadly I can’t watch it yet because region lock. I do know there’s an interesting, familiar face in there tho and I’m excited for that!

I... I... I can’t believe he actually said that...

“They’re cool pants!” KOUSHIROU LMAO

Anyways, episode preview!

Aaaand nothing of value was seen there. I mean I do know what Patamon probably evolves into because I do follow the Digimon Twitter so like, I saw the relevant art they shared but ye

Anyways  a lot of these episodes were dull as usual, I didn’t feel like I missed out on much tbh aside from the sexy animation and the lore

This really drives it home to me how not having a villian of somekind just constantly present and active really makes a story so much more flat for me... Like I ain’t gonna argue Devimon or MetalSeadramon were interesting villians, but even just seeing them planning their next moves outloud and talking to their minions drove home what kind of people they were, and they weren’t even the most Packed-With-Personality villians in Adventure.    And while SkullKnightmon is there... they’re just kinda standing around. I don’t know much about them really and it makes me sad

(Look I’m sorry I’m a filthy villian-stan and not having interesting villians to stan makes me sad)

Anyways, as always, I am definitely looking forward to whatever the fuck Psi is planning on doing because 1. Holy Shit It’s Milleniummon and 2. Holy fuck we got WarGreymon and it’s only episode 31, what the fuck are they planning on doing with the rest of the series and indeed 3. Patamon evolves into what

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 278: MOMO IN CHARGE

Previously on BnHA: Deku and Kacchan were all “SIR, THAT’S OUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SENSEI” and got really ferocious and made a very passionate attempt to blow Tomura up and it was great. It basically did nothing, but it was still great. AFO was all “COME HERE LIL BRO”, and Tomura was all “silly Sensei, you can’t just take over my mind and body just like that”, and he was very confident of this despite there really being no evidence to back it up, but okay! Gran was all “time to make the fandom mad at me” and grabbed Tomura by the collar and yelled at him about Nana a bit, and then Bakugou and Endeavor made an even MORE passionate attempt to blow up Tomura, which may or may not have done some actual damage. The chapter ended with Gigantomachia battling Mt. Lady, just kinda out of the blue, which is FINE, but she had better be all right, though!

Today on BnHA: Everyone is all “WAUGHH IT’S GIGANTOMACHIA” and running around freaking out about it. The U.A. alums all kick some ass, and pretty much everyone else not from U.A. does jack fucking shit. Mt. Lady, who I plan on naming all of my future children after, does her best to stop Machia but he keeps flinging her aside. Kamui Woods is all “here I come with Midnight to put Gigantomachia to sleep!” and is PROMPTLY FUCKING MURDERED!? by Dabi because he’s a flammable tree man, and so Midnight falls all the way to the ground and is badly injured. So then she’s all “well I better call the most competent person I can think of to fix this mess” and dials up YAOYOROZU FUCKING MOMO, who proceeds to take charge LIKE THE BOSS SHE IS, and mobilizes the rest of the kids. And honestly I have more faith in them than in any of the adults at this point, so yeah, you know what? Let’s do this.

so I am possibly a bit spoiled on this chapter because I did a “top five predictions” post earlier this week, and someone replied to that yesterday on Thursday saying that they were mostly correct. I don’t know exactly how close to the mark I was though, and in any case most of the predictions were just “so-and-so shows up, probably”, so it’s not too bad. we’ll see how it goes!

OH THANK GOD MY BABIES ARE SAFE

I mean, CLEARLY they’re all about to be in horrible danger, seeing as Jirou is about to inform them of the whole “THE BIG GUY EVERYONE WAS AFRAID ABOUT WAKING UP WOKE UP” thing, but in the meantime at least Kami and Toadette and Honenuki made it back to the group safely

also Kaminari’s use of “Jirou-Jack” here is fucking inspired and I want him to teach a class on nicknames. isn’t he the one who coined “Yaomomo” as well? this boy has a gift and it needs to be appreciated

so Jirou is all “SOMETHING REALLY BIG IS COMING”, and actually she says “INSANELY HUGE”, which if anything is still an understatement, hard as it is to believe

WOW

“A BAD GUY IS HEADING THIS WAY?? SOUNDS LIKE IT’S TIME TO ABANDON THE CHILDREN IN THE WOODS” kjlfakh okay you know what?? fine!! you weren’t even going to do anything anyway so let’s not pretend!!

holy shit it’s like Mt. Lady isn’t even there

look at those speed lines!! goddamn. I just felt this huge rush of empathy for Mt. Lady though. like can you imagine growing up with this super-destructive quirk, and managing to become a hero with it against all odds, and having to put up with the manga making fun of you all the time just because sometimes you have a tendency to DESTROY A LOT OF STUFF, but it’s not like you can help it!! but the upside has always been that when your quirk is on, you are fucking UNSTOPPABLE though. so even though it’s been a hell of a rough ride for you, it’s worth it because you’re a complete badass and the number of people who can beat you out in terms of sheer physical strength is probably in the single digits. and you’re working really hard too, and lately you’ve been moving up through the ranks and actually becoming a damn fine hero if I do say so myself (and I do), and it’s like, about time though?? like finally, finally it is all starting to come together for you. and then this snarling trashrock person suddenly comes stampeding along and you put your all into trying to stop him, and it doesn’t even do a damn thing. like, holy shit. that’s just not fucking fair and YOU DESERVE BETTER, MT. LADY

anyway so she’s still hanging in there for now though so let’s check in with our villain squad riding on his back

lmaooo they’re all “I don’t even understand what is going on here”

YOU GUYS, THIS IMPLIES THAT THEY WERE ALL PLUCKED OFF THE GROUND BY THE SCRUFFS OF THEIR NECKS AND THEY HAD ABSOLUTELY NO SAY IN THE MATTER OMG. like I’m picturing Spinner being held by his cape pinched in between Machia’s thumb and forefinger, and awkwardly trying to lecture him like a mom with his hands on his hips all, “BAD GIGANTOMACHIA! NO! NOOOUAGH -- !” and cutting off with a yelp as he’s dropped onto his back

and I am glad they got Toga some clothes! I like to think Gigantomachia grabbed those for her as well. so thoughtful

wow Skeptic actually wants to go back to Re-Destro??

color me legit impressed. I underestimated your loyalty my dude. and let me also just take this moment to extend my gratitude toward Horikoshi for leaving the rest of the MLA out of it because good fucking riddance to them, goodbye forever hopefully!!

I guess they’ll be needing Skeptic’s quirk down the line for some reason? maybe he is meant to be like a new, less out-of-control Twice. smdh y’all out here trying to replace your dead buddy like a pet goldfish

who is this “they” Dabi is referring to

do you mean the heroes? lol yeah I guess they’re pretty distracted by the literal fucking kaijuu you’re currently piggybacking on

SIGH

“the Jakku team must’ve made a mistake” BOY, I’LL SAY. you know what, don’t even talk to me about that yet. it’s still too fresh. suffice it to say that your suspicions are correct and things in Jakku are not very daijobu right about now

anyway here’s a closeup of this bubble person just cuz

they are everything and I want them to be my friend. also there’s a squid person a few paces behind them who can probably do anything a squid can do. or they might actually be a shark person, actually. I don’t know. either way I love them

GETEN PLEASE GO AWAY

WE ARE PHASING OUT THE MLA!! MOVING FORWARD IT’S ORIGINAL LOV ONLY!! I’M SORRY BUT YOU DIDN’T MAKE THE CUT. we already have an ice character so shoo

OH DAMN MY MAN CEMENTOSS HAS HAD ENOUGH OF HIS NONSENSE TOO AHHHH YESS

1) hey so Cementoss is legit terrifying who’d’ve thought

and 2), did Cementoss always have a mouthful of gigantic perfect teeth each the size of a slice of bread, or is this just something I’m only noticing now because I’m behind the curve. either way, let me just say sincerely, DKJDLKFJLSKJG

RE-DESTRO YOU GO AWAY TOO!!

@waywardfacegarden​ you asked the other day which are the characters I actually dislike, and this is one of them lol. he’s just a big ol’ prick, and on top of that has the audacity to not even be interesting in any way so as to balance it out. anyway so apologies to any Re-Destro stans out there but I basically spend every panel he’s in hoping that someone will punch him in the face hard enough to finally make him shut up

anyway so my man Edgeshot is here though, finally!! but of all the people for him to fight! this is a real predicament for me. the most soothing character in the series contrasted with the character who grates my nerves the most. Edgeshot’s sexy ASMR voice is gonna be drowned out by all of RD’s punching and self-important ranting in the anime and I’m lowkey devastated but I’m gonna pull myself together and read on

SPEAKING OF SELF-IMPORTANT RANTING

Edge, if you can liberate us from having to put up with his insufferable ass once and for all I will be so grateful to you. can you do this. please. for me

and it looks like some other boring MLA villains are following along behind Machia so I’m gonna need someone to kick their asses as well. please

-- YESSSSSS

okay so now I see what that comment on my prediction post was referring to lol. I did indeed have my fingers crossed that these two would show up again, and sure enough! THE GANG’S ALL HERE YAY

and Mt. Lady is being sumoed aside!

anyone want tonight’s lotto numbers. during this brief fleeting moment of having my predictions be actually credible, I would just like to say that Hagakure is the U.A. traitor. thank you and goodnight

OH NO KAMUI IS WORRIED

HE LOOKS SO PANICKED?? OUT OF THE BLUE I SHIP IT SO MUCH?? I keep forgetting they’re on the same team and stuff and wow, I need to calm down

LOL MIDNIGHT IS ALL “NO TIME FOR SHIPS!!”

I wonder if her quirk will actually be enough to take him down? this is something I’ve been itching to see for a long time, actually. just how powerful is she? we know her quirk is more effective on males than females, but is anyone actually capable of resisting it? imagine if she really did just knock Gigantomachia out after all of this buildup. that would be some god-tier shit omg, DO IT

(ETA: I am just going to assume that since Horikoshi had to go to elaborate lengths to take her out of the fight, this means that her quirk really was capable of knocking them all out. another tragic case of Too Badass For The Plot. y’all better respect Midnight.)

YESSSSSSSS

is she stripping. you know what -- don’t think about it. I won’t let you ruin this for me Horikoshi. Midnight’s gonna be a badass because the ladies are fucking ruling this arc and that’s all there is to it

NOOOOOO

DABI GET BACK HERE I JUST WANT TO TALK!!

oh thank god, she’s all right. BUT KAMUI ISN’T THOUGH DLKJSFLKSJDG??!

did Kamui Woods just... die

(ETA: okay but for real, is there an actual curse in effect on the Billboard Top Ten right now, though?? did one of them accidentally disturb the tomb of some ancient king??)

...

( ･ั﹏･ั)

oH MY GOD!?!

NOOOOOOO WHY ARE YOU SO QUICK TO SLEEP ON MAJESTIC, LET’S SEE IF THEY CAN DO IT!! GIVE US MAJESTIC GOD DAMMIT

(ETA: Horikoshi is seriously just yanking our chain at this point. when Majestic finally does show up, he or she better have the coolest fucking quirk of all time, that’s all I’m saying.)

okay how badly injured is Midnight here, though?? she just fell all that way?? DO I NEED TO BE REALLY MAD. I CAN WORK MY WAY UP TO IT PRETTY QUICKLY, JUST SAY THE WORD. I’M ALREADY HALFWAY THERE HONESTLY. WHERE’S KAMUI WOODS

!!!!!!!!!!!

AND JUST LIKE THAT MY ANGER EVAPORATES INTO THE NIGHT, YESSSSSSSSS!! MOMOOOOO

holy shit. “a quirk that can stop that thing,” she says. and goes and calls YAOYOROZU FUCKING MOMO y’all I am barely holding myself back from SCREAMING right now I...

you guys

you guys. if Midnight and Yaomomo team up to take down Gigantofuckingmachia using some sort of MOMO MADE A MACHINE TO SPREAD MIDNIGHT’S QUIRK strategy, or whatnot?? I will fucking die on the spot. you can end the manga right there. Kacchan you can keep your quirk I don’t even care

“IT MIGHT BE AGAINST THE LAW” lmaooooo insert John Mulaney “WE’RE WELL PAST THAT” gif here. holy shit. listen, that is fine. if anything it’s even better

WHAT THE FUCK

DO I NEED TO START GETTING REALLY MAD AGAIN!?!?! FUCKING WHIPLASH, IS WHAT THIS IS, BUT YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT SORT OF OVER-THE-TOP REACTION IS NEEDED HERE AND I’LL GO FOR IT

(((( ;°Д°))))

[GRABS HORIKOSHI BY THE COLLAR] listen, you. if you only just now, for the first time ever, gave us a lady hero actually mentoring another lady hero, which we have somehow NEVER HAD BEFORE in almost three hundred chapters, only for you to then KILL OFF THE MENTOR IN THE MIDDLE OF HER GODDAMN SPEECH TO THE MENTOREE, I will... there’s... I’ll... okay, listen. DON’T. THERE WILL BE A RECKONING. CAPSLOCK SUCH AS THIS WORLD HAS NEVER WITNESSED!!

ヽ(#ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ┌┛

I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO REACT TO ANYTHING IN THIS CHAPTER AND I’M LOSING MY MIND OVER IT

so the other kids are all “what the fuck” and “so Momo’s in charge??” which, YES!!! IT’S THE ONE GOOD PART ABOUT ALL THIS SO DON’T YOU DARE QUESTION IT

MOMO NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE CRIPPLED BY YOUR ANXIETY, YOU CAN DO THIS GIRL I BELIEVE IN YOU

hell, it’s not even just an “I believe in you” thing, because it’s not just belief, it’s fact. you motherfucking can do this, you are the most capable and brilliant student in 1-A, you just gotta have faith and let yourself shine!!

so now there are some more panels of Machia running and the villains and heroes fighting, blah blah blah. and Momo screwing up her face as she makes her decision...

YESSSSSSSSS

my baby girl is all grown up and TAKING THESE MOTHERFUCKIN REINS and MOMO I WILL LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU JUST SAY THE WORD!!

lol she’s all “Jirou use your ears and scientifically calculate how long it’ll take him to get here”, and Jirou is all “I can literally fucking see him, he’s gonna be on top of us in like two seconds” WELL OKAY THEN

thank god there are no adult pros left to fuck this up. is that weird that this is a real and honest and completely sincere thought that just ran through my head? like, at this point if any of the adults were around I’d just be afraid of them dying honestly. but with the kids I actually feel real hope that they’re somehow gonna do this. of course it helps that unlike the adults they’re pretty safe from being killed off

also! way to represent the entirety of class 1-B there Honenuki lulz. sorry, The Rest of Class 1-B

OH MY GOD

MT. LADY I WILL LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU AS WELL!! YOU HAVE MY LOVE AND FEALTY!!

I’M STANNING HER SO HARD I’M GONNA EXPLODE SOMEBODY HELP!?!

JIROU SAYS THAT MACHIA HAS SLOWED DOWN!! YOU GUYS I’M ABOUT TO GET “MT. LADY FOR PRESIDENT” TATTOOED ACROSS MY FOREHEAD

lmao at Shouji using his power of “putting some extra eyeballs on my arms” to inform everyone that Gigantomachia is Right Over There and Very Big

good job Shouji

oh my glob I have so much love for Momo right now that it can’t even fucking be contained. brb wildly flailing my hands around a little to try and release some of this excess excitement

maybe Momo can be president instead and Mt. Lady can be the vice president

NO THE CHAPTER IS ENDING I’M NOT READY

AND JUMP IS ON BREAK AGAIN NEXT WEEK TOO, FML!!

okay!!

Kaminari is so fucking brave right now I just want to crush him in a hug?! we know he’s still scared!! look at his eyes!! and he was freaking the hell out earlier too, and now the situation is much worse! but he doesn’t give a fuck because his friends need him! he is ready to be a hero, my little baby boy is all grown up and I’m so proud??

Mineta’s face in the bottom right corner is everything. I know, I know, boooo Mineta, but that’s still the best face anyone has made in the entirety of this manga

Tetsutetsu’s out here all “I humbly request to also represent class 1-B” and Momo is all “okay fine I guess we can have two of you guys”

can we all just stop for a moment to appreciate how KamiJirouMomo is alive and well. like, we had interactions between all three of them in this chapter, in all possible permutations? do you know how happy this makes me?? I am vibrating with joy??!

I really can’t stress this enough -- I have no clue at all what these little soda can things are (anesthetic, I guess??? you know, like how you sometimes buy cans of anesthetic at the supermarket?? what do you mean you don’t do that??), or what they’re gonna do with them. I have like negative clues. but DAMNED IF I GIVE ONE SINGLE FUCK. the next chapter can be them all fucking hurling them at his face for all I care. THE DETAILS OF HOW SHE KICKS HIS ASS DO NOT MATTER!! GOOD MORNING TO YAOMOMO AND YAOMOMO ONLY!! MY MOMO ACADEMIA

[zanecosh]

’ ･ﾟ : 👽  : ･.  INTRODUCTION — Zane Wancosh  .･: 👽 :･ﾟ ’

⌠ CHANCE PERDOMO, TWENTY-ONE, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, ZANE WANCOSH! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in MEDICAL TRAINING; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (sunglasses in every imaginable color, serenading ‘ my heart will go on ‘ loudly at 4 am, finger guns to the pals and the gals). when it’s the (aries)’s birthday on 04/18/1999, they always request their FRENCH FRIES WITH GRAVY from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.

tw; drugs, jail/prison ??, alcohol

PAST but not rlly since i always had to mention what it did to him

- Zane was raised in Ottawa, Canada .. something he is very proud of and will mention a billion times as soon as he gets to know someone -- he will also deliberately say ‘ eh ? ‘ to let people know b ut we all know he ain’t sleek !!

- His parents had always been a loving bunch so he grew up receiving so much affection and attention that he now is a little FULL of himself but only because he seeks love and won’t stop until someone provides it for him im srry i didn’t make the law

.- So given his upbringing he’s always been the completely affectionate type, having his hands everywhere all the time and achING for hugs and small things like hand holding or just a pat  on the shoulder like he is seriously convinced that if he doesn’t get at least four hugs a day he will die a painful, lonely death

- So in addition to that, he had always been a very active, youthful and energetic kid which was pretty much something he got from his dad since he sort of kept things playful and always did the best that he could while his mom was on the stricter side but instead knew how to teach him things that were important !!

- So growing up he always made friends very easily because of how open he was ( except that time when he brought this girl home at the age of 7 because he thought she’d make a cool pet ) and because he was always vERY friendly, even if he had a tendency to be too nice at times and just got upset when people didn’t like him ?? which is honestly still the case

- Of course he loved being popular which is kind of his aspiration in most things nowadays?? he seeks to be liked so much it’s sometimes a lil sad but he will legitamately try anything to make you his friend and he wont care if ur bothered because at least then he’ll get a reaction out of you !! but yeah it’s something he never really learned bc he’s used to getting validated from his parents so he genuinely doesn’t COMPREHEND meanness ://

- It was when he was around ten ( 10 )  years old when his dad randomly moved to New York ?? which was honestly super scary to him but his mother assured him that it was for a special job which was definitely weird for him because that was the only thing she ever said when he asked her about his father and ofc zane wasn’t dumb just a little idiotic !!

- They still visited his father often where Zane was able to get to know America and New York a little better, which he definitely enjoyed even though he sort of preferred Canada always because he likes snow a lot and the fact that it kind of melts when you pee on it but anyway he was getting a bit more suspicious as he grew older

- Then on his sixteenth birthday he was able to visit his dad once more to which he then was revealed that his dad was the ring leader of a spy business !! WOW to which Zane was baffled of course bc his dad ??? who tripped over his 7th birthday cake because Zane saw a squirrel and started to chase it ?? exactly !!

- So of course, Zane wanted to start working there !! Not only because of curiosity but school was kind of boring ( ngl ) and he missed his dad a lot so while his mother was not happy about his choice at all she always believed in people doing whatever they wanted so without much time passing the male moved to New York and started working for his father !!

- it was quickly noticiable that Zane wasn’t great at spy work, considering he was incredibly clumsy and was always distracted by everything and almost shot off his left toe ONCE okay it was only onCE !! Anyway his father got a little frustrated with his chaotic energy so he gave him the jobs were he was usually with someone else so they could babysit him which was honestly better for him too bc he could make friends !!

-  So when he was around 19 that’s when he got to know his boy Landon, his main squeeze, one could even say the love of his life ( only he would say that ) but they immediately vibed with Landon being his driver even though they lowkey ended up doing stuff that completely wasn’t what his dad wanted but Zane was honestly just loving life and just doing a bit of shady stuff with his buddies was bonding ??

- HOWEVER NOT ALL THINGS CAN BE SUNSHINE AND CAKE; so they often kind of got into trouble ?? they were good at hiding and sort of running from the cops a couple of times but honestly not that much of a big deal as Zane would say but once upon a time, these assholes rlly got caught ahead of their time to which Landon then got away in time with someone from Gallagher helping while Zane honestly didn’t know what was happening n got caught ??

- To which he then ended up in jail for a year !! love carrying contraband while being high as fuck !! anyway, it was a very self reflecting time . even though he sort of learned nothing ?? anyway not even his dad could bail him out, only shorten the time if he in return joined Gallagher, a school where he would learn how to behave and use his spy knowledge to some good instead of just causing trouble !!

- Which he honestly didn’t vibe with so much because he was kind of scared of these spy kids ?? legit all of them could kill them w a look he wasn’t sure was his dad was thinking but that’s also why he chose medicial training, in order to not get hurt and if he did, he would be able to take care of himself which honestly wasn’t that much of a help when he was about to bonk this girl but ended up hitting his dick against the ground as they rolled around ?? he doesn’t wanna talk about it

- Anyway, he sort of grew into Gallagher for the most part, since he is a very adaptable person in general and was looking forward to making friends with people who were way cooler than him which was honestly a plus !! he just vibing y’all there ain’t no problem at all at all

PERSONALITY & LITTLE QUIRKS

- He’s super chaotic and all over the place, loves talking about anything and everything and sort of philophises over the most mundane things because its fun to talk about life y’all

- He has a super colorful taste in clothing and decoration and is pretty extraordinary in most things in life, whether its sunglasses or flowers on his backpack and shirts and stuff that’s way too big

- Is a slow talker and also doesn’t understand people who talk fast

- Has a habit of interrupting people mid-conversation and doesn’t realize that it could appear rude

- Loves everyone, is also super affectionate and always has an arm around his friends or will at least ask for conSENT bc that matters to him but he will most likely touch u some type of way im sorry

- Probably because he is super fidgety too, he legit has his hands everywhere all the time because he doesn’t like to stay still

- Somewhat of a class clown and certainly does not enjoy studying or any school related work so he’s kind probably always on the verge of failing ?? idk how he does it you guys

- will fist bump you but will also grab your ass

- Just wants to chill most of the time but somehow still always stressed

- Is a party ANIMAL like if there is a party, he’s there and probably drunk and high before the party even starts ?? in general i don’t think he’s been sober a day since he turned 18 who the fuck knows

- Will probably trip and fall everywhere as a drunk but he just laughs about it the second day, like he says if he doesn’t get hurt it won’t be a good party and i honestly worry about him and i’m not sure how he’s still alive

- does the peace sign way too often

- could be considered a sunny boy but since he’s from cold ass Canada he loves snow way much more and the cold for some reason

- has the biggest potty mouth like he doesn’t even realize he’s swearing

- is extremely honest like he will just stand there listening to someone complain and be like well that’s a bitch

-  also huge flirt and also catches feelings fast and will mostly say it outright when he falls for someone like boy has seriously no shame ?? he will feel the heartbreak but he believes he can deal with it better than questioning it all the time and if they feel the same he will just loVE

- he also might be polyamerous he doesn’t know it yet bc he’s never had that many chances but he just likes to love whatever

- his head is everywhere and nowhere at the same time so it’s possible that he doesn’t make sense 80% of the time

- has tattoos that don’t make sense at all, i like to refer pewdiepie or uhhhh what’s his name uhhhh kURTIS CONNER ?? im too lazy to fact check i been writing this for an hour let me be

- knows how to juggle and thinks that’s that probably the coolest skill he’s ever learned

- has two earthworms that he got during a biology project back in high school who have been in his possession for six years now ?? ( i checked they live for four to eight ) he loves them to death ok their names are Niall and Liam ....... ( yes he was an 1D stan don’t confront him about them he’ll cry )

- is very superficial, loves the horoscope and believes in like bad luck and stuff like that, will scold u if u don’t listen to him rant about unlucky things !!

/ @gallagherintro