#i secretly feel like i'm gonna end up hating my theme but i'm gonna keep using it because i'm stubborn

[the-spoingus-show]

Theme Adventure

i was gonna start this post with "okay, i know i haven't posted in a couple days", but then i found that queued post in my frozen queue, so that's not even true anymore. anyways. i haven't been productive because i went on an Editor Theme Side Quest which went from an hour to 3 days. At first, I found a theme when I was looking for plugins to add to the Project Template, but it didn't look the way I wanted. It was a little darker than vanilla, with more saturated colors for the text editor, but it had a yucky font and some of the text colors were questionable. I had to directly edit the Godot settings text file, which was suuper fucking annoying, but it was kind of interesting, I guess. After I discovered I wasn't a fan, I reset all my editor stuff to default, and started changing the colors myself.

Initially, I was only changing the background/accent color, so I could have a slightly darker mode with orange details (gotta rep the niche favourite color pick). Then I realized I could just steal only the colors from that theme, and then I could tweak them to my liking. I was originally gonna just boost their saturation and be done with it, but (like everything else in this damn story) it got a little out of control, and I ended up making an image in ms paint to visualize what the different text colors would look like together.

If you look closely at what the final product looks like (which took WAY MORE TWEAKING after this), and compare it to my silly paint blueprint, you'll notice just how much I ended up changing between the two. I tried to maintain the original saturation values, to keep a similar vibe in the editor. I'm particularly happy with the blue strings, teal node references, and orange functions - they make everything look really pretty with the pink keywords. The entire editor just has a very different vibe that satisfies my rabid urge to be quirky.

God, if there's two things I love in design, it's bright, saturated colors on a dark background, and fucking ORANGE, BABY!!!!! It looks wonderful. So wonderful, in fact, that I completely forgot that normal people don't code in Comic Sans. Since I started coding 4 years ago, I have coded in Comic Sans (or Comic Mono, to be exact), and I have not been able to code in anything else. It's just the norm for me. Any time you see something I create, remember that it was made in Comic Sans. Anyways, I wrote way too fucking much about my silly editor theme, and I need to get back to actually doing work. Take care, Mike! :)

[my-gf-is-kazuichi-soda]

Fluttershy-kin? part 2 (real)

Part 1

(Miu calling Zoey "Bubble Butt" has an origin in an unfinished comic, so for now...out of context stupid nickname is out of context stupid nickname.)

(This got so dramatic at the end for some reason? If you want to skip the weird relationship drama, you can stop after Miu runs away, because that's pretty much the end of the pony business.)

Also, here's a link to part 1, and a link to the other dialogue option.

--

>Tell Miu that Fluttershy would adore her.

(Zoey's thoughts):

Auggggggh! I can't!

I hate to lie, especially about my ultimate, especially when someone corners me like this, especially when it's a mean girl...

but...

First of all is it even a lie? Fluttershy would want to see the best in her friends. And I've seen how Miu lights up about cartoons. She's so cute and sweet when I draw Spongebob! She would probably be really nice to Fluttershy...

...like how she's been nicer to me and Kazuichi 👉👈...

Himiko's feelings are totally valid. I hate to pick a side here, because it's not like I want to gang up on Himiko for saying something I was secretly kind of thinking too.

But also,

I love her. In a friend way I think?. I don't want to tell her that her fictional best friend would hate her or be scared of her.

What harm is it to tell her?

(Thank goodness I'm thinking this all these thoughts very quickly, btw, or else Miu and Himiko might get mad at me for taking so long to answer...)

--

Zoey: "Yeah! Fluttershy would love you, Miu! I could totally see it! Do you want me to draw you a comic or something about it?"

"You would?"

"YEAH! I knew you'd side with me, Bubble Butt! We should do that later! Take that, Himiko! Suck iiiit!"

Miu skipped off humming the My Little Pony theme. Zoey turned to Himiko.

Zoey: "Sorry Himiko. I'll talk to Miu about apologizing too. I just...I don't think Fluttershy would hate anybody. But, your kin is valid too!! Do you want me to draw anything for you too? Uh..."

"You like Miu, don't you?"

Zoey: "Eh...? Yeah! She's my friend, but you're also my friend! I don't want to, uh,,,," (Shut up now, Zoey.)

"Stop it. You know what I mean."

Zoey: "Oh."

Zoey: "...I mean, no! Wait! No I don't! What do you mean?! I don't like her like - I - I just-..."

"I know you like-like Miu. Why else would you say she could be best friends with Fluttershy?"

Zoey: 😬

Himiko: "And you don't just say things to keep the peace."

Zoey: "Hey! Sometimes I might! Uh... Please don't put me in a box like that."

"I guess I have some bad news to tell Tenko."

Zoey: "Huh? Oh wait! No! Don't!"

"No! This isn't a dating sim! I'm not gonna let you be a 'player' with everyone's hearts!"

"You like Miu. So you probably wouldn't like Tenko. I don't want you to break her heart..."

Zoey: "Look, Kazuichi and I talked about it, and we..."

"I forgot you have a boyfriend!"

"Or HAD a boyfriend! You broke Kazuichi's heart! And then you'll break Tenko's heart!"

Zoey: "No! I-"

"And then Miu's gonna break your heart!"

"J-just like I broke Tenko's heart!

What a stupid world!"

-

Himiko ran off too, leaving Zoey's to think about what just happened.

-

(Zoey's thoughts)

She's running too fast! Okay, maybe not that fast, it actually looks like a pain to run in those boots. It feels cruel to chase after her, so I'll let her go. I also don't think there's a point to chasing her, because I don't think I can talk her out of it.

I ran out of words.

I think I need to go find Tenko now, to get to her before Himiko. I need to let her know what Kazuichi and I talked about. Then the Miu stuff will become a non-issue, I think.

Why did this have to happen right after we decided to ask her out?!

And I don't even know if I like Miu like that. I think, I'm just really excited to be platonic best friends with her?

(Oh wait....oh no no no no...didn't I once say the same thing about Kazuichi???)

...That's not important right now...

And Himiko...I thought we were friends too, but she looked at me like I was the scum of the earth. I feel so awful, and I can't even be mad at her, because I get it. She feels bad for breaking Tenko's heart. She wants to make things right with Tenko. And she thought I liked Tenko back.

And we do! But both of us! Not just me!

Does Tenko like both of us though?

Agh!! Miu, I'm sorry, your My Little Pony art might have to wait until I resolve this mess!

--

The End.

As far as I know, I'm not writing more in this saga. This started out as a funny conversation in my head while I was getting groceries a few weeks ago, and every once in a while I would read this again in my drafts and write some more, but I'm ending it here for now.

Hope Miu and Himiko weren't out of character. Himiko in particular is at the point in the story where she had just broken Tenko's heart (which, Tenko took it worse in this one because of a perceived rejection from Zoey earlier), so Himiko was feeling really bad for it and thought that maybe Tenko and Zoey would get together, so Zoey liking Miu of all people instead just threw her off. She may not have a crush on Tenko, but she wanted her friend to be happy again.

I don't know if this fluttershy kin saga would be "canon" to my fanfic, but I liked writing it as if it was, and that eventually Zoey x Kazuichi x Tenko x Miu would all be together.

[wisemins]

Entry 1 | (1/30/24)

Just gonna start spewing my thoughts a bit when I can, I'm starting a new journey as of last night to really, really try to help my self-loathing and to gain a better sense of self and self-worth. Will also involve f/o stuff. I'll just be keeping these under read mores if y'all don't wanna read <3

So last night I just really broke down. To be short about it I'm just so tired of sabotaging myself and being my worst enemy and my worst advocate. I can't let myself have anything and there was something that my girlfriend said to me that made it all finally just...click. I was apologizing to her for being so "impossible" and for being so hard to deal with and then she said. "I'm not the one you need to apologize to." As in, I needed to apologize to myself. That the person I was being mean to, that I was bullying and making cry almost every day needed an apology because of how I'm treating her. It changed my perspective a lot, somehow. With self-shipping most of us learn to in some degree appreciate ourselves more because we are force to perceive ourselves from our f/os perspectives, a not so harsh view, right? Well my self-loathing is so bad that most days I can't even imagine them wanting to perceive me, and they are just with me *just because*. It's been such a hard time to cope with that, but I want to change it. I want to feel loved and cared for by them again, not just take care of them. That is a popular theme too, me taking care of everyone around me, always, and purposefully leaving no room left for myself because at times it hurt to receive affection and love, whether real or fictional. I just felt so undeserving and as if I wasn't *meant* to be loved, only to give love. That's a very isolating feeling. Throughout my life it felt like it continued to get proven again, and again. But in the end I need to realize that I do deserve love and to be taken care of too. I deserve to feel good, despite what my mind might say. I'm so fearful usually, that if I let myself have good things or be happy for myself or imagine my fictional loves loving me, that somehow it makes me self-centered and selfish. That's an irrational fear, obviously. But this all really just put it into perspective. I want to do better, but I also need to. I cannot continue on going like this anymore, it's too much. I destroy myself every day because others in my past have made me feel undeserving, and eventually I became that source of hatred. I don't want to hate myself anymore. My girlfriend also said something else that really hit home. "Would you say all the things you say to yourself to your face?" And, my answer was no. and she followed up with: "Would you make yourself cry like you do now, if she was in front of you?" And my answer was no, followed by more crying. My girlfriend said that was because I'm not a mean person like I said I was. I was convinced that I was a horrible, rude, and mean person who secretly was some kind of self-centered piece of shit that was angry and conceited and undeserving. But I couldn't stand to watch myself cry, to make myself cry like I always do. I say such horrible things to myself, at myself, hoping to destroy any more will to let myself have anything because it hurts so much to be vulnerable. But I need to be vulnerable, I need to learn how to express my feelings. I want to. I'm tired of shutting everything out, pretending it's all fine when I abuse myself daily. I don't deserve that.

And honestly, I don't think my f/os would be cool with me being this cruel to myself. I never like to acknowledge it because it forced me to face how wrong I was, but sometimes the darker hours would come and I would believe they'd believe it too. Or worst yet, I was plagued by the idea of indifference. How my beloveds wouldn't hate me, but rather, be completely and utterly indifferent toward me. That hurt the most, because as we all know (thank you desperate housewives) the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. So I've dug holes within my ships, with the thought that my f/os, sometimes my most prized and long-lived f/os, would feel indifferent toward me. And it hurts, it hurts so much. I know they would never act like that or treat anyone that way ever, but it always feels like I'm the exception. But I know I'm not. I'm worthy of their love and care and affection, it's just so hard to see sometimes. I'm so incapable of looking inward and seeing who I truly am, instead I see every flaw and everything I hate about myself.

I do need more reassurance than I let on to everyone. I create for everyone else, I make them feel good about themselves all the time, which will never leave me, I do love making sure the people around me are happy, but I try so hard to not receive it back. I feel so unworthy. But I do need that reassurance, I do need others to sometimes say that my f/os do *love* me, that they don't feel indifferent toward me. I do need to also find it within myself to supply that sort of self care. But, I think starting with reassurance will help me. I just need to ask. Which, in my very mentally ill mind, is the most impossible task. But I will do that today, I will ask. And hopefully, it won't be the worst thing in the world.

well, this felt good to write down. A bit uncomfortable, because well-- I'm not used to sharing my feelings so much. But it's better than continuing to be repressed.

[vynegar]

For the ask meme: Vyn and Luke please!

thanks for the ask!! these got kinda long xD

Vyn

first impression: ...i hated him LMFAO just from his character intro page, there was nothing i was particularly interested in. then after the first couple of main story chapters and a few personal story sections, i was almost dreading his storylines bc it would probably have the most content about mental health, and i was uncomfortable with how it was handled so far. (i still think the game has a lot of missteps regarding that, but i do they're trying so i can tolerate it.) i began paying attention to him when i read “near and far” and my interest was piqued, then when i read “false tears” and i was very much interested to see what else he would do.

what i think of them now: i want to study him like a bug under a microscope.

i'm obsessed with him, what can i say? you're all looking right at the evidence that proves it. you get the gentlemanly exterior and you peel that away to reveal the manipulative cynic and you peel that away to reveal the clingy lovestruck fool and i want to keep going and going and see what else we'll find. his storyline has contrast as such a strong theme, whether it's the contrast between him and mc or the contrast between his rational behavior and when he loses control. there's just so much to think about when it comes to him.

favorite moment: i feel like i always talk about his moments of jealousy or desperation (those all count as a favorite moment), so i guess i'll try to highlight something different here. i really loved in "food for thought" when he realized mc overheard the discussion about his family, and his only reactions were to reassure mc, check if she was comfortable, make sure she would be able to rest that night. i just feel like the tenderness from that scene was overwhelming, and especially before the confession, he always just offered himself up for mc without trying to make her uncomfortable. maybe it's just the primacy effect since i read this card pretty early on, but that moment has always stuck out to me, and shows the sincere softness from vyn that is just as important in his characterization.

Luke

first impression: meh at the character intro page, which immediately changed when he appeared in the story. he just looked like the cheerful childhood friend, which i'm not usually interested in. but i quickly fell for luke once i saw the warmth of his interactions with mc, and especially with the extra elements of angst from the separation and illness, and also his raven side.

what i think of them now: he breaks my heart in the best way possible, i just truly want to bring! luke!! happiness!!! i don’t have as much to say but i think it’s just bc my feelings about him are just that straightforward!!

favorite moment: i think i’m still going to go with an early moment, since i’ll always be a little bit biased toward the scenes that made me fall in love with the characters in the first place. the ending of “shape of you” , where luke secretly declares his determination to protect mc forever, no matter in what form. i’m always in shambles every time i read it TT

i’m gonna cheat and mention a few other things from his 2nd anniversary: this

specific expression with the lines “How could I… not think about proposing to you? I’m human too.“

+ when they’re in the middle of arguing, and luke still takes off his jacket to shield mc from the rain, and mc holds it above both of them even though that makes it useless.

and weirdly enough, the initial invitation screen, if that counts (the one where he and mc are sitting on the couch). just seeing that scene and hearing the bgm is just so nostalgic and comforting for me and i am so fond of him :’)

[fayesdiary]

For SoV ask: 2, 3, 12, 26, and one of your choice!

Sure thing, and sorry for being so late! To compensate, the answer is really, really long! i know you said I could choose one but question 33 is kind of a joke question so whatevs. Also no keep reading sorry but Tumblr formatting is being a butthole 2) Who’s your favorite character from Alm’s side? Faye! Yes I know, you're all shocked. But honestly, she's the kind of character who absolutely deserved better (and imo she's the one who got shafted the most alongside Rinea), but it's so fun to flesh her out from the few things we know about her! Also, her fanbase is very small but so talented?? Besides the great fanart, especially on AO3 there are a lot of wonderful stories, my favourite being this one about her travelling with Celica! 3) Who’s your favorite character from Celica’s side? Previous answers: Celica Hoo boy, answering this question again is kinda hard, since I really like all of Celica's party besides Deen, Nomah and Jesse. But since Sonya T-Posed over Jedah's corpse today, I think I'm gonna go with her for this! She's an interesting personality (her confidence is honestly great and I like that while aloof at first she slowly warms up to the party), most of what she says reveals something about her or her past and she's connected with Echoes' main villain! Also, she has the only optional boss conversation in the entire game. Honestly Sonya to me is the perfect example of a mysterious character because every interaction with her is important to learn something about her and makes you keep wanting more, but you never get the whole picture, which means there's also room to speculate. For example, how did she end up working for Grieth? When did her sisters become witches? Should her endcard be taken literally or is it a rumor she just spread herself? 12) Of all the antagonists, which one is your favorite? Berkut! He's such an interesting villain and one I constantly have the time of my life mocking, but at the same time someone you can't help but feel sorry for the more you learn about him. He steals the spotlight every scene he's in, doubly impressive since he wasn't even in Gaiden to begin with and he has an incredible presentation, between the design, Ian Sinclair overkilling it and his overly grandiose themes! Rudolf gets a dishonorable mention, because while I absolutely hate him, dragging him through the mud every chance I get is so much fun. And honestly, that alone makes him "better" than a boring villain.

17) What’s the flavor text quote that made you laugh the most?

This one:

This playthrough was the first I had Celica visit Ram Village (i didn't even know it was possible the first time I play, gods I love this game), so seeing her roasting Tobin with Ragnarok Omega without even knowing just sent me Also if you check a Library in Desaix's fortress Alm will start looking for comics, which means there are comics in Valentia, and that's a whooole rabbit hole waiting to be explored. How much do you bet Gray pranked Tobin with the loss comic once

26) Talk a bit about the game’s themes!

It's intriguing and kinda suprising for FE standards the relative nuance with each theme, and I really like it! For the class struggle while you do get the message that your station shouldn't impact your opportunities and the hint that class won't matter nearly as much in the age of mankind, you still have things like Clive openly believing in the systems of monarchy and nobility (see: his support with Python that is one of my faves), and while he wants to fight for the common people and making life better for them, he has to face the fact he knows very little about their struggles, not to mention a lot of bias he still has to overcome (see: the whole situation with Delthea). Heck, the whole thing about Alm being secretly royalty makes the whole thing even more muddled, because while the game argues for meritocracy we also see how Alm has been able to do things the average person can't because of his bloodline. So, in this fantasy world, nobility would matter, right? While obviously there need to be more equal rights and less privilage, at the same time you wonder if Berkut was right after all about nobility being meant to rule, even besides the whole prophecy nonsense. Zofia and Rigel are a teeny bit more nuanced than the usual good country-bad country of Fire Emblem standards, same with Mila and Duma, so it's really interesting to discuss them, even if I wish we could have seen a bit more of both at their best (same for the gods' philosophies), instead of the decayed mess we see ingame. Rudolf (at least in theory) is the usual conqueror, but instead of being a puppet or just working for the main villain he's actually doing the opposite, preparing the hero to be the one to save Valentia never mind that he likely did more damage to Valentia than the freaking Faithful ever did Jedah, while being the usual evil sorcerer, he's also extremely devoted to Duma, with his motivations being that Duma must maintain his position for Valentia to survive, so he does whatever he can to tend to him and further his power (outright not caring if this will end up in an age of tyranny), and while this absolutely does NOT justify his action even a little, it's so intriguing and more interesting than the usual evil sorcerer doing evil things because they're evil (Gharnef) or even because of a tragic backstory! (Not to shit on characters like Manfroy, his manga backstory fits him perfectly and fleshes out a theme about persecution that was barely mentioned in og FE4, I really hope they make it canon in the eventual remake)

33) How many cats do you think Alm and Celica adopted after Duma’s fall?

Let's just say that if someone allergic to cats even approches Zofia Castle they just die.😼

Echoes ask game

[jisvnq]

[ 16:42PM ]

title | soulmate/enemy

genre | fluff

warnings | jisung gets a little cut on his finger, but that's pretty much it :D

word count | 1k words

requested | nope~

description | where you and jisung are soulmates but hate each other's guts... or do you?

z.txt | here's my second ever poor attempt at a oneshot which i made for the second time i disappeared and came back lol (it's becoming a recurring theme hahdjehr) and i originally planned on making a part 2 to this, but tumblr deleted all my drafts when i logged out apparently🤡 and i didn't have the heart to make another one... i apologize to everyone who's been waiting, but i might think something up if you guys really, really want me to!

[ □ ]

"God, you're such an idiot," you huffed, crossing your arms as the two of you waited, sitting still in detention. "I can't believe you got me dragged into this fucking mess."

"It wasn't my fault the test tube exploded," Jisung huffed. "You should've told me to remove it from the fire before it did!"

"It was common knowledge?" you said in a sarcastic tone, turning away from him and glaring scornfully at the red string tied to your pinky. "I can't believe I'm somehow gonna end up with you."

"The feeling's mutual," Jisung said sourly, picking up a pair of scissors and trying to snip the red string tied around his own pinky just for the scissors to go through it like thin air. "Stupid string of fate."

Ten minutes pass by, and you're as bored as ever. It seemed as time was moving slower and slower, mocking your situation with your soulmate enemy.

You would've sufficed with using your phone secretly and complain to your friends about how annoying it was to be stuck in detention with Jisung the school's stupidly handsome heartthrob, but Jisung blew it, getting caught texting Chenle about how annoying and frustratingly pretty you are.

"God, why does it have to be us?" you asked, swiping at the string in frustration, only for your fingers to go right through it. "Out of all the goddamn people in the world, it just had to be us."

Jisung pretended he didn't hear you and continued on his attempts to cut the knot at his pinky. Out of boredom, you began to mess with the thin string yourself.

The red string has always, always connected you to each other. From the day you were born, leading up to this moment right now.

But contrary to the other soulmates you've met in the course of your life, you and Jisung bickered and fought like there was no tomorrow. Next to no one would believe that the two of you were bound by the red string together. And you liked to keep it that way.

As others are unable to see the thread, you and Jisung had figured out that the string was only visible when you were within ten feet of each other, using this information to try and avoid one another as much as humanly possible.

But by no means was it easy. The two of you had all your classes together, you were pretty much identical in personality along with your interests, and it was useless trying to deny it. You were always asigned as partners and seatmates for sheer punishment for continuous bickering, and no matter where you sat in any of SM High School's small classrooms, you'd always see the annoying red string floating between you.

You just wanted to cut that little ribbon of yours right in the middle and–

"Fuck!" Jisung exclaimed, making you whirl around on instinct at the sound, eyes widening as you saw blood drip from his finger. Jisung answered your unasked question, biting the inside of his cheek. "The- the scissors slipped and I cut myself..."

"Shit– I might have a band-aid in my bag," you said in urgency, searching your bag for the emergency kit you always kept with you due to your near-superhuman abilty to get hurt any time at any place possible. "Here."

You took out some antiseptic and a cotton swab, Jisung's eyes widening as you did so.

"No way in hell are you putting that on me," Jisung said to you. "It'll hurt!"

"Stop being such a chicken," you rolled your eyes, grabbing his hand, and for the first time, of your own will. "Of course it'll hurt. What? You wanna get tetanus from cutting yourself with those rusty-as-fuck scissors?"

Jisung bit his lip to contain a little yelp from the sting he received from the medicine, waiting patiently until you were done tending to his wound and put a band-aid on it.

His heart thumped out of his chest the whole time. Usually, he'd scoff and say that it was the pain that caused his heart to beat erratically, but now, he wasn't so sure about that himself.

He wanted to think it was disgusting when you held his hand like that, taking care of his wound. But he just couldn't. He actually liked the feeling of your small hands on his larger one. Your pinky touching his and making the strings attatched to it swirl around each other as if they were dancing.

He liked it, and it made him want to throw up. It made him want to throw up butterflies. And maybe, just maybe, you felt the same way?

He snuck a glance at you only to see you completely unfazed by the interaction. He felt his heart fall, his confidence and ego taken down a few pegs. No, no you didn't.

Jisung surprised himself at how much he cared about something so stupid. What mattered if you felt the same way or not? Not like he was gonna tell you.

He kicked the chair in front of him in frustration. Was he actually beginning to feel something other than pure anger and irritation for you? A feeling all the others have?

Little did he know that your poker face you put on in the whole situation was to mask the many butterflies flying in your stomach when your fingers touched his. Your heart beating especially fast, noticing the way the annoying red strings around your pinkies twirled around each other, making them touch.

You tried forcing yourself to calm down, turning yourself away from him and feeling your head spin with weird thoughts. You snuck a glance at him and cursed inwardly when your eyes met.

You raised an eyebrow at the boy, somehow feeling a little pang of guilt and hurt, seeing his (hopeful?) expression fall.

Maybe he felt the same thing and hoped you did too? You crossed that thought out. He probably didn't even notice the way your little fingers touched, feeling a bit disapointed at the thought.

You almost laughed, hearing this thought in your head. Why did you care so much about such a petty little thing?

An answer instantly popped into your head. It was foolish, really, but it was inevitable. And maybe, just maybe you were just beginning to catch actual positive feelings for Park Jisung, your soulmate yet enemy.

[ ■ ]

[fencer-x]

1. Hii, do you still post Drarry fic recs? I've only recently started shipping these two and the fanfic side of HP is entirely new to me, and if I'm honest it's slightly overwhelming lol. So I was wandering if you could perhaps help me find or rec the kind of fic I'm looking for because I have trouble finding them myself in this sea of fanfics. (This is probably going to be a really long ask so apologies for that).

2. So what I'm looking for is the Hogwarts era, and not eight year or post war but before the war, the Voldemort era if you will, from the 5th year and onward when Draco and his family are still involved in being Death Eaters and stuff. If there are fics set in that time where eventually romance blooms between Draco and Harry could you rec me some please? I have no idea what kind of search criteria to apply to find them unfortunately.

3.And another thing I'm looking for is some slow burn in general where the build up and transition to romance between Harry and Draco isn't too sudden which is the case in most fics I've read. It would be good to really see their annoyance and hatred towards one another before the romantic feelings appear, cause I much prefer that kind of dynamic rather than the one where one of them is already feeling a secret attraction toward the other almost from the start or where it escalates too quickly.

4. I have nothing against some silly, dorky Draco with some really funny inner monologue but I'd also much prefer seeing his less fluffy, unapologetic and callous self, and I feel like in most fics that part of Draco's personality disappears too easly and too fast to be in character for him. :/ I hope this isn't a bother and that my requests aren't too specific, and I hope you could point me in the right direction with this. P.S. need I say the E rating is much desirable? :3

First off, WELCOME TO THE SHIP. You’ll have a fantastic time searching for recs, because given the JUGGERNAUT status of this ship, there’s absolutely something for everyone. That can understandably be overwhelming, but this ship’s been going strong for 20-plus years, so no need to rush into things! Take your time and find something that works for you.

For recs, I’ll first give you a great resource: capitu’s Masterlist. It’s great for when you’ve got some certain theme or something you’re looking for (like non-8th-year Hogwarts, for example). AO3 is easily searched using tags, but sometimes you want a list a human being put together! Capitu also has a tumblr where you can trawl through the tags to find posts advertising fics you might like.

I also cannot recommend @drarryficrecs highly enough. Here’s their carefully tended masterlist! And another from fyeahdrarry!

If you want to look on AO3 and sort by, for example, kudos or bookmarks, try using the tag ‘Hogwarts Era’ to narrow down the timeline, and then other tags as you see fit.

As for personal recs, I haven’t made a new post in a while (because I haven’t had time to read much lately, though I intend to rectify that soon), but I’ll see if I can find a few that might appeal to you based on your criteria. I love slow burns and almost only read explicit fics for these two, so that shouldn’t be a problem :) I also adore snarky, crass, rude little shit Draco, so again, NOT a problem :)

However, I confess, pre-8th year isn’t something I usually see written too much now, so 95% of what I read is 8th year or later. I have a couple of recs, but only a couple, alas. 

The If Sieve by cest_what - [An If Sieve lets you see how things would have unfolded if somebody had made a different decision at a particular time.] My thoughts: pretty much what it says on the tin! Draco gets hold of an If Sieve, and things go about how you’d expect as he dives down the rabbit hole of how his life might have changed if he’d made different choices at crucial points along the way.

Men Who Love Dragons Too Much by fencer_x (yes...me XD *shameless self plug*) - [Extensive re-telling of Deathly Hallows - ‘Kill Albus Dumbledore’ is less a challenging task and more a suicide mission, so when Draco Malfoy is presented with the option to either dispatch his Headmaster or suffer an excruciating and most ignominious death of his own, along with his parents, he reaches deep into his black little Slytherin heart and manages to scrape together enough courage to go with option C instead: Spend Sixth Year secretly studying Animagecraft in the hopes he’ll turn into something sufficiently imposing even the Dark Lord himself won’t be able to keep Draco under his thumb. But just his luck, his Animagus form turns out to be a dragon, and a rather randy juvenile at that, intent on finding its mate: one Harry James Potter.] My thoughts: So, I’m not sure if this would count for you; it’s not 8th year, but they aren’t really at Hogwarts either? Not for most of the fic lol. Because like it says, it’s a retelling of Deathly Hallows. However, it’s...big. I beefed the heck out of that book in order to weave Drarry into it. At 480,000 words, it’s the slowest of burns, there is snark and hate aplenty, and oh yes there is definitely some porn. Eventually. But not gonna lie it’s gonna take a while to get there, the boys being who they are. Still, perhaps you’ll enjoy it!

And that’s all I have on-hand! Like I said, I don’t tend to read pre-end-of-the-war stuff too much these days, if only because most of the stuff I see written is set a little later. I can recommend everything to meet your wishlist EXCEPT that time slot! However, others might have some suggestions, in which case by all means, feel free to tack on to this admittedly short list!