#i say this rn but i cant say ive always remembered to mention which piece of mine was older or not. i think???

[trashsketch]

tbh, i really want artists who do redraws of their old art, who then post the old art and new art next to each other, to tell us which art is old and which one is new

it’s honestly hard for me to tell sometimes because what op thinks is an improvement can be so subjective! so much of what goes into a piece (especially if you’ve been doing art for several years) is what your intent is in your piece and what choices you’re making that are different than what the you of years ago made

even for something as simple as a bust shot of your favourite little guy facing left! what choices did your old art have that you enjoyed and wanted to keep? did you want to change the tilt of his head in your new redraw so that it conveys a subtle emotion? Did you choose to thicken your lines a certain way because you favoured it in recent times? did the light source not work to your favour in the last piece, and did you choose to change it to highlight your fave little guy better in the redraw?

it’s not a must, but it would be really nice if artists could indicate which piece is the new one so we can all see and not have to guess which one is your shining latest work and appreciate it fully like how you have!

[s0lar-ch3ri]

ok SO ive been in school and its been schooling, so full on rambles havent been a thing i have time for BUT its friday here now so ill ignore my weekend homework and write for you lol

i do wanna say this, i may have forgotten details on drey or lizzie and i wont be checking the wiki out of fear for spoilers (on ep 94 rn so im almost through it!!!) so if i make bullshit up i apologize dearly

ANYWAYS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE LESBIAN AND DREY FERIN!!! (spoilers for up to ep 94 maybe)

lizzie is such a compelling character, but i think what makes her incredible isnt how shes handled crews singlehandedly (possibly figurative and literally), but how powerful her words seem to be. while gill's speech was what set john off his edge, lizzies was the first to inspire him into change. im pretty sure jazz was talked to by lizzie. yes her actions are loud, but her words are the speakers that carry out her messages! the black rose took her and chip aboard, and while it trained her, shes leaving it back behind her in the past because she doesnt need the black rose anymore (opposite to chip, who wants to get that experience back). she builds herself a story away from the black rose, becoming more a person. shes believed to do the shit that rumors say because of how powerful her words are.

shes so strong now, yet shes not exactly forgiving. while chip is excited to find the black rose, lizzie is the exact opposite. shes happy their gone for the bullshit they went through and is full on willing to kill them to not deal with them. when she sees drey she threatens to kill him if hes still in her view, and he has the audacity to not remember her after all that. god grizzly did so well story telling wise for this

while after the black rose lizzie grew stronger and stronger, it seems like drey kind of grew weaker in the sense that his main tool for his weapon is unrepairable (his arms lol). sure, hes adapted to be able to use his feet for stufff, but i doubt he'll be fine in combat. i honestly hope he can retire in piece (I MEANT PEACE LMAO) but we already know that rufus was still in danger despite being retired from pirating. not to mention, he just like, doesnt remember shit of the hole in the sea (well, most of it). it was bad enough that he cant fucking remember lizzie, and maybe she likes it that way.

honestly, i think lizzie has a bit of a hatred for ferins less because theyre navy and more because shes "been played" so to speak by two of them (i havent actually seen or heard the scene yet, but i cant escape the spoilers of ava and lizzie forever). she loved two ferins, one like a parent (atleast somewhat like a parent) and one like her girlfriend. and she tries hiding up from jay, because maybe she reminds her of ava and can just tell that shes someone who could be her friend. and when she leaves (lizzie would say when and not if for a bit), lizzie will feel broken and betrayed again and the last she needs when theres war sparking soon is feelings of weakness.

anyways, while i could do so much with lizzie, im gonna talk about the things you were bringing up with drey, because yes! it is something i never really thought about, why drey chose to be a pirate. i mean, we know he met captain rose who just had asked him and he said yes. (i ended up looking at dreys wiki mainly cause i needed to make sure i dont wanna bs, but im also going off the video itself) but why? why, when the ferin family has been navy for years, does drey just decide "yeah, fuck it"? maybe because drey considers this captain at the time (quoted from the episode) "An angel in your eyes, he is the sexiest man you’ve ever seen before", or maybe because his old small ship was destroyed by said captains ship, but its truly an anigma. looking at the wiki (ok the only reason ive done it for drey is if there were shit going on with drey in the black sea, i probs would have stumbled into it, so im not so scared for spoilers with him), which by the way isnt always the greatest source but there are knowledgeable people who add shit onto the pages, it mentions how drey set out to be an adventurer and shit, and did hesitate to join out of fear of bad treatment hes faced before, which is kinda interesting. plus, drey tries to yell up to the ship that the boat "was all hes got", so my thoughts are he probably had some rough treatment and pressure (if he was ever in the navy thats probably doubled) and decided to become a pirate after seeing how free this crew seemed, i guess.

as for family relationships, i could have sworn drey said goodbye to jay before he left, or atleast jay mentions it to chip in the humble beginnings ep. i think jay may have looked up slightly to drey, being brave to go against the navy and such (even if it had to be hidden from her dad). they probably werent super close, but i dont believe they had bad blood (besides the fact theyre related to jays dad (joke)). most definitely they would have grown closer while drey was on board the deck. i cant imagine ava being close to drey because probs jay and ava were put in the navy at a young age, but whos to say? id say jayson and may were closer to him when he was younger, but they do grow more distant from the distance (so smart wording cherii), even though jayson and drey would be so much more distant from all the "pirate vs navy" shit. also, i did find on the wiki which says taylor ferin and drey were distant so yeah.

but yeah hes a mystery man for sure ALSO just got to the beginning of ep 97, and the idea thats hes grown slightly weaker shows by how he keeps missing the shots. yeah, its pretty impressive that hes firing a gun without using his arms, but hes at a heavy disadvantage (accdiental dnd opun?) if he cant use them properly. the legendary status he had (not that hed be willing to admit it) has retired alongside him, and he gets to watch his niece become the next sureshot.

dont have more ideas to talk on and i hope the wait was worth it tigers have a happy day

hey fnc guy ive been very normal about your posts and writings (literally the chapter in my one shot collection im writing rn is inspired by one of your writings) ive noticed youve seen me ramble on the idiot captains and was wondering if maybe i could do a special character analyzation for ya? besides npcs without any known story to go off (like the tailor lady or smth) of i could write about mythborne and riptide idk im bored lol

:0 we’ll first off tHANK YOU I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT 😭😭

My pick is Drey Ferin becaUSE while we don’t know a ton in depth about him, I just don’t see a lot of stuff talking about him in general and I think he’s just a fascinating little guy. I’ve been thinking abt him. Why did he leave to be a pirate? Was he ever a part of the navy? Do you think he had a good relationship with Jayson when he was younger? Did he have a good relationship with his mom? Or May and Ava and Jay? Did he even ever meet jay?

I feel like his background could be really expanded upon and I think it’s SO interesting the way we know hardly any of his motives and I’m curious abt what other people think think :3

But that’s also all very highly speculative and if you wanna ramble abt someone with a more in depth, canon backstory I’d say go w Lizzie. She’s SO interesting to me and I love her and with the lore drop in 101 OUGH

[gilshaelos]

tag game!!!… tagged by @alovelysickness thank u beloved 🥺💕.. a get to know you game!! :3

fave color: i love greens and peachy colors.. i like a lot of colors i think theyre all nice :) but green and peach and some blue have me :3

currently reading: this is embarrassing in a way but were healing atm , im close to being finished with forest of secrets by erin hunter of the warrior cat series XD im reading the series slowly again with my gf

besides that however i usually read manga and not so many books. i got caught up on dungeon meshi the other day which im THRILLED is getting an anime!! iirc the mangaka had mentioned that she wouldnt approve an anime unless she knew itd be good so 👀.. i have very high hopes.

besides that ive been continuing my read through and analysis of one piece! im near the end of the skypeia arc now, its of course wonderful. i enjoyed the anime arc a lot as well but the end felt a little clumsy, im interested to see if the manga is any better. no harm if its not, cant all be the goat ALL the time. currently, sanji just got blasted by enel and i was talking abt in my server that he’s incredibly self sacrificing and this is like the third time this arc he takes such a horrible blow its a miracle he wakes up. but honestly his little excursion onto the ark maxim and then subsequently getting electrocuted reads to me like some sort of sui attempt… but thats me. lololol. i love analyzing manga.

last song: this is sooo hard honestly cuz i listen to music constantly.. but the song i woke up with in my head is Bitter Boogie by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard. (while rn playing is Am I In Heaven? by the same band!) heres some of my recent spotify likes of kglw however.. i have more but HAHA

last series: this may come as a shock… but the answer to this is also One Piece. lmfao. im nearing the end of the dressrosa arc and people were not lying. flashbacks abound. a lot of good character moments felt ruined by it. OH WELL. but right now luffy just shifted into fourth gear and its really exciting, but nothing is that easy to im waiting for things to go wrong.. despite being a mess of an arc im having a great time with it!

last movie: im so bad about watching movies and my friend mo has described it being a ‘herculean task’ for me to watch a movie which is true so i dont have a clear answer. i recently saw thor love and thunder with family. it sure was a marvel movie so its very whatever. last GOOD movie i watched and remember watching is The Last Unicorn and i cried like the whole time.. LOL.

currently working on: oh lord well i always default to saying im working on my oc universe story thing Masters of None! but the honest answer is really nothing too much atm i havent drawn in over a month or so. i just havent felt like it. ive got the itch to do so but no energy LMAO but i try not to force it. however im playing a new game that came out yesterday if that counts for anything? cult of the lamb, its phenomenal so far im really enjoying it.

feel free to do this if you want to :3 but im gonna tag a fee people .. do ot if you want to!!! but if u dont its ok :)

@why-its-kai @linnellgender @joltikgenes

[lettersformiah]

9:12am, 20 june

hi bubba! in english atm. ive had a morning and a half. late to school hehe. had to sign in at the office bc i saw maia with the little attendance slip that relievers have. signed in and rocked up. the reliever is nice, he is chill. nice enough yk? youre at your first placement rn! so shit you had to wake up so early for it. n you have to do it the next two days as well. like eek. but youre amazing so i trust youll be fine. or even better than fine. i believe in you. just shit that i cant text you hehe. but its okay cause i have the letters and music and fifty internals to focus on. did i tell you french was also spoken? im terrible at french pronunciation. what can you do i guess. my kiwi mouth cant get around the fact that french is just gurgling. hopefully ill be fine.

wearing your hoodie at school ^-^ its nice and big and warm. i love it so much. im wearing so many layers bc its so cold. or not even that cold. so windy. and wind makes everything cold. got my stockings on, your hoodie, the big fleece jacket, and socks >:) which i dont think you are meant to wear with stockings, but fuck it, im cold and my shoes are thin. the wind is fucking up my hair too. so dog of mother nature fr.

what else? oh! friday is matariki. or maybe its not? i dont know. friday is the public holiday for matariki, so thats good enough for me. thursday is a half day bc they are doing the celebration at school from 1-5. (however it means p3 on thursday is like a full school assembly) i think im meant to go to the celebration? i think i will from like 3-5 maybe. if you dont miss me too much. but youd probably be asleep knowing you. will see i guess heh. i just know my friends were interested in going. i still have dance though, so maybe i go and then leave at like 4:40? thats when the bus is and itll take me straight to dance. just gotta be sneakily wearing my dance clothes or take a bag. we will see! sounds like a good plan though, if i do say so myself.

i really can keep writing forever hehe! apparently always having something to say translates well into letters too! id be so good with a diary. but i think one entry would be like 40 pages long. so maybe its for the best this is online. saves me some hand cramps.

i love you! and im excited for drama! having our war piece kinda finished is good. but getting the guys to work its kinda very hard when they arent feeling it. but we definitely need to perform soon. the original plan was to have it be done at the end of term 1. its almost been like 3 months since that? thats some shit timing. but tbf im glad we have the time to work on it, i want it to look good. but i dont mind not getting an excellence, but i know leo wants it. which is fair. hoping all goes well and the boys focus up. ill let you know.

it was nice waking up to you this morning :*] wish it could be like that irl and every day yk? i dont think i was very good at conversation, i barely remember it but i remember definitely slurring my words a teeny bit. sleepy maddi things.

ive been writing this letter for like thirty minutes. crazy how the time flies when i just talk. tbf whenever i talk just about my day it takes about 3 hours to get through! and i didnt even get to tell you about yesterday and the full on day i had! and havent even mentioned watching the end of the summer i turned pretty with rem and hos and jazz or playing dnd! gosh theres so much to talk about i could go on forever. im happy you love that about me. im very lucky. youre a great listener which is perfect because im a great talker. love you bubba.

i should go i think. got other posts to make and some english to pretend i did. i love you, hope the placement is going okay and you havent fallen asleep injecting someone yet.

talk soon,

-mads<3

[sukisdeliveryservice]

helloo! how was your day milady? its always a pleasure reading your replies too! <333 and i hope you'll enjoy your hiatus :))

also idk i just find parrots rly pretty, and the way the supposedly repeat stuff you say is rly endearing too djhdjfhfb in all honesty, im pretty new to the whole baking thing, but i love making cookies :D they always smell so lovely djfjdjdj i'd love to explore and make more stuff!

you do digital drawing? :o id love to see something! only if you're comfortable sharing though ofc <3

mmm i haven't watched alot of tv shows really tbh. my favourite and the only one im invested in atm is friends, ive watched alittle of modern family and how i met your mother, but that's pretty much it ig jdndjdj

as for movies, i love the greatest showman! it hits a bit too close to home but i always love the goosebumps i get whenever i watch it :) next would be thor ragnorok, which ive mentioned before djjdjs but its just really funny and love it sm, and it was loki's turning point so bonus marks. black widow is also a new favourite <333 though i felt terrible when they were being tortured as kids, but it really showed a new perspective on natasha and her past. i also really like the notebook! everything was so sweet it rly nearly brought me to tears jsbdjdjjsh and finally the shawshank redemption! it was something i didn't rly think i would like, but i was really pleasantly surprised lmao. everything was pretty depressing but it also kinda blew my mind away :D

for songs, my no.1 song rn is nct dream's irreplaceable, idk why exactly but i love that song. i also have a thing for songs that are similar genres to baekhyun's un village, nct jaehyun's try again and jungkook's still with you, so those are three more though im not really sure if they're really the same genre anyways and its been almost a year now and i still cant get over how nct 127's boom makes me feel 💕

hmm for fics, i dont really remember everything i read, but i absolutely loved your ceo cheol fic 🥺 it was so cute and the way reader and cheol work perfectly together T-T most of the time fics like these consist of cold bosses who only show a little warmth to the reader, but cheol was so sweet throughout everything it just made everything so much more adorable and endearing. i really really loved it :'D <333

what are your top 5 of these? and also for the next question, have you ever

been to a concert?

sneaked out from your house?

gone through a one direction and/or bts phase?

had a crush?

had a pet?

performed in front of a crowd?

read a book/fic that you love so much you still think of it occasionally? (yes im asking for recs)

- 💎 anon who loves you lots!! <333

milady?? heh you sound like chat noir from miraculous ladybug (my guilty non guilty pleasure show) i was thinking carefully about these answers thats why it took so long!! i'm going to go to bed after this is posted hehe this is gonna be a long reply so take all the time you need to answer pfft- my day has been lovely thanks to this ask by the way!!

yeah i'd love to show you something!! there were a couple burried in my rambling tags but when we're allowed to turn off anon i'd love to show you!! do you have discord btw?? it might be easier to talk on there afterwards!!

ooh how i met your mother is probably my favourite sitcom!! maybe that and b99. its pretty long and the ending was erm...not good imo but i still think the long length was worth finishing!!

the movies you picked are lovely anon!! i am also a fan of the greatest showman since i am also a big fan of musicals!! it was pretty fast paced but overall the grandeur and visuals of it stunned me and the sountrack is amazing!! i haven't watched black widow but hopefully soon!! and i dont usually watch a lot of western films but i really want to check out the notebook as well!!

ahh your music taste is also exquisite!! so im guessing you're more into like soft pop/rnb kinds of songs!! i definitely listen to baekhyun's music before sleeping since his vocals really suit soothing songs. i really need to check out more of nct's music - hello future was really good!!

OMG ANON YOU READ MY CHEOL FIC??? i was so unsure about that one but it makes my heart squeeze that you read all of it and liked it :'D

okie so my top 5 (no particular order) i'm probably forgetting a few

tv shows - 1. HUGE atla fan!! i even liked legend of korra even though some poeple didn't 2. how i met your mother 3. horimiya 4. extraordinary you 5. yona of the dawn

movies - 1. your name 2. big hero 6 3. tangled 4. weathering with you 5. from up on poppy hill - literally any ghibli i've watched

books (sorry lots of these are manga) - 1. fruits basket 2. haikyuu!! 3. SNOW WHITE WITH THE RED HAIR (IT'S MY FAVOURITE EVERYTHING) 4. to all the boys i've loved before (it's very different from the movies) 5. i don't mean to bring up percy jackson since it's been years but those books are still everything to me

songs - 1. eight (iu, suga) 2. all my love (svt) 3. kidult (svt) 4. dandelions (ruth b) 5. somehow (day6)

thank you for asking anon! i loved listing these out! next to the never have i ever!!

been to a concert? NEVER!! waiting for svt to come to canada, they didn't list canada for ode to you :(((

sneaked out from your house? NEVER i've sneaked people into my house...

gone through a one direction and/or bts phase? I HAVE! bts but it was only for like a month before i fell in love with 13 men...

had a crush? soobin duh i'm beginning to realize now that maybe i've been more in love with the idea of love instead of harbouring genuine feelings // NEVER!!

had a pet? I HAVE!! multiple fishes...rip

performed in front of a crowd? I HAVE!! i've played the drums during school concerts and during a competition a few years back!!

read a book/fic that you love so much you still think of it occasionally?

for this last one i'm going to tie it in into my top 5 fics of all time!! (with mini reviews!!) i should make a masterlist of my recs honestly - when i compile all of my favourites i think that's when i've be brave enough to tag the writers fjdshfdkj

out of touch, out of time by @/by-moonflower // i read this months ago and my heart literally still sinks whenever it even crosses my mind. i don't think i've ever been so emotionally impacted by a fic before and this is my go to rec for anyone who wants to FEEL something. i don't wanna go in depth as to spoil it, so i'll just leave it at that for now.

outlasting the universe by @/by-moonflower // you know what i'm just gonna link their entire masterlist because all of their works (even the short drabbles) are just literary masterpieces. the way they write makes you feel so alive?? and everything just speaks for itself and is so authentic. they make you feel like you're wandering amidst a ghibli film, periof. authentic is the best word i can use to describe their work and this fic is just the definition of beautiful.

bluff and nonsense by @/thepixelelf // THIS FIC. it's my go to rec overall. it was so memorable had such good flow and just genuinely so genuine?? i have no other words to describe it, it's just so ,,, lovely. the plot takes you on a journey and it's woven together so seamlessly.

in a span of three months by @/viastro // i won't be surpprised if you've read this one already because this author is a true staple in the carat writing community and honestly all of their works are simple timeless. this one really hit the mark for the me the most though and i finished it all in one sitting.

wish by @chocosvt // goodness i'm a fan of hoshi fics aren't i? this one was also really memorable for me and i have read it several times!! friends to lovers but they really made the trope their own and added lots of twists and tadbits that gave it so much charm!! i would also rec this as a starter fic for svt :))

phew thank you for reading all of that anon, i really appreicate you taking the time to write such love responses and questions. now i'd like to know your answers for the same questions ,,, have you ever:

been to a concert?

sneaked out from your house?

gone through a one direction and/or bts phase?

had a crush?

had a pet?

performed in front of a crowd?

read a book/fic that you love so much you still think of it occasionally?

to add on:

been to a place/been in a particular mood after a specific event that you wanted to stay in forever?

written a piece of work that sparked energy within your fingertips!!

met a person/have someone in your life who you now just treasure so deeply?

this is getting super long we need to reveal our identities soon fkdsfkjlds

[rhinointherain]

5-8-2020

Every coherent though is a chain of smaller thoughts Every (thought) is a combination of (feelings that you sense) Every (feeling that you sense) is an (amount of heat in a neuron) every (amount of heat in a neuron (degrees)) is a total sum of energy every total sum of energy is a neuron firing or not firing every neuron firing or not firing is the signal cells being released from the last neuron or not etc etc

Its all either off or on, one or zero, and the derivatives of them. It goes into the FOURTH dimension, the x axis is length (or time, the units) the y axis is x width (2d space) the z axis is x, height (3d space) and the other axis is derivative of x (4d space)

Every thing is a spectrum of itself underneath the 1

Each (x derivative) is an (x), each (x) is an (intergral/anti-derivative) of (x double intiderivative) and so on

Many peoples third eyes open within their lifetime, but only a fewer amount of people actually have the means tools etc to communicative what they understand effectively with the world and possibly harness it for productivity, which is what makes the difference between one of the greatest humans in history and a weird junkie

Kinda impressed by the fact that even despite having no language like this whatsoever to communicate with junkies can find a way to express these things in a way that other people whove gone through it can somehow recognize it

Or maybe they dont recognize what im recognizing at all, they are just communicating other more sensory aspects of “it” (act of third eye being open) and the people whose third eyes actually opened recognize these aspects

I can do anything now if only i remember what this was/is like. I can succeed in any field because I understand how all of them work in principal. Or at least if i remember what i recognize now well enough and can decipher it with enough focus to find a coherent way to use it

Being smart is the ability to recall them more quickly or the ability to understand their connections with each other better or understand them on a “lower” level ( the integral of x, x being thought). Maybe there is no “third eye opening” but its just that you get down on a level few people ever do. But there is no bottom it is an infinity of x into itself, also known as x derivative of x over x intergral of x

Hang on im starting to think of aspects of this i dont understand. Like what are coderivatives or whatever you call them. I cant understand where they fit into this because i dont remember exactly what they are. And time and space being two different dimensions (x and y) or space (y) being the derivative of time (x) oh wait that is exactly what im trying to say, i feel like it could be easier if writing by hand bc i could draw actual derivative symbols instead of counting on words u can type to express what im trying to say

(Wrote this last but put it here bc of organization) Remember this to help you understand: it isnt a chain bc its not just a line its in multiple dimensions. I.E. space. But it is because neurons fire in a chain I.E. time. We can only measure one direction in time but three in space.

Ok this is gonna make me sound even crazier as if I wasnt sounding crazy already. But time travel is not “movement” (one point to another) in the fourth x dimension aka 4th derivative of x (which would be to us like a wormhole), it’s movement in derivative of y? I think y, maybe i have this wrong. Neurons are oriented in space time. The amount of energy they have in them, their location in space (x,y,z coordinates), their location in time (along the x dimension) are all ways to describe the “point” they occupy in all dimensions. (Is the space time continuum represented by the x times xyz space section of all dimensions?)

Time travel is not just derivative of x, which is moving forward aka to the future, but integral of x which is moving “backward” in time aka the past

So not only can you move “outside” i e 4th derivative of x aka the fourth dimension of space (i didnt finish this thought. earlier and am trying to remember deeply enough what it said. It looked like it was a summary of the main idea that not only “” , but also you can move y derivates .” So you actually have an infinite number of dimensions being the derivative of one another in an infinite number of directions)

When they said everythings a fractal that was real

Things go in every direction all at once. And all those things go in every direction of their direction, which is infinitely more times greater than the first “every direction all at once” (which was infinity). Do you understand?

Good god. How did they figure this out. Like when you see media depictions of being high like tool album covers and stuff they have all that fractal stuff and when a sci fi movie wants to convey something deep the zoom in on the molecules until it looks like the universe zoomed out. They understand at least some aspect of this idea.

If i actually wanted my realization to be a groundbreaking thing i would probably need to spend a lot of years trying to convince people i wasnt crazy and only if i eventually effectively communicate my ideas across and spend a lot of time and energy to would it actually later seem like i were a tragic genius rather than a crazy person. also id need to try to hold on how i felt like when i was high for so long it would have a chance of disrupting my mental health/ability to function in society (same thing obvs) and driving me toward like hard drugs and that would not be good

Its so hard to explain the fourth dimension like i really dont think i could try to draw a representation of it like some people do (those cube things, i cant remember what theyre called), my conception of it is a lot more mathematical and verbal. But i still am pretty certain I understand it whether un-high me believes me or not

When youre trying to think about this stuff and you look away at your environment and think about memories and do other complex things that require much deeper chains of neurological communications in order to process them, it becomes a lot harder to focus in on these ideas because the complex things require a much higher/broader/vaguer level of though (higher broader vaguer being words we can use to try to understand what it means to be on a “higher level” as in OUTSIDE OF, DERIVATIVE OF X, IN THE FOURTH DIMENSION etc, just as like (above) and (below) describe location along the z axis if you think of the xy plane aka z equals zero as the “ground” and above means positive z and below means negative z.)

Its going to be harder than i thought to communicate this when sober lol but its still nice i was able to experience it lol

Other things to mention 1. Up until this point (but not after), some pieces of text are out of order than they were written, usually the paragraphs were all written together though not always 2. I wasn’t hallucinating per se but I understand how they work now bc some of the things in the corners of my vision, where my eyes are giving less attention to their light receptors, I’m seeing things off from how they actually are: I turn toward them and perceive them normally but when I turn away and theyre in the corner of my vision i see the distortion again. Its not like scary hallucinations or anything like for example I perceived a giant black slab like in space odyssey in place of the dark doorway, or a wall where there wasnt one. Its because my brain was focusing/thinking in different ways than its used to and so its less sensitive to the type of information it usually takes in from its environment and its interpretations of it are less precise and thus not entirely “correct”. Its a really interesting way of thinking about what it is that you actually notice and perceive. Like the experiment where they switch out the person asking for directions and the majority of people dont actually notice its a difference person

Yeah ok i cant really write much more bc im significantly less high rn, I could sit here the whole rest of the time and try to make sure I understand all this well enough each time I get less high but I really don’t feel like doing that its like, drifting farther and farther away and taking more effort to really grasp it with each drift towards sobriety and while thinking about how I might not understand all this stuff soon I’m tired lol and I appreciate the experience. Anyway yeah

More things I was thinking in the shower: Everything is a direction? And so everything is a dimension? Not just in space or time, thats only one section of it which can be described by a “shape” with three dimensions in the space orientation and one in the time orientation. All categories are their own dimension. In any given moment you are at an intersection of a certain (point) on [the shape representing the space time continuum] and all the other infinities

Question. Does the idea of god fit into all of this. “Who is doing the moving”—that would be god? “What is “moving””, etc. ? If “everything” is all infinities of infinities and this goes on infinitely, there is no possible way to be “outside” that infinity. Therefore you cant possibly “move” it all bc movement requires a force, and that force cant come from ���outside” of it so therefore it all “moves” itself? How accurate is the term “movement” to describe what i am referring to? Which is our existence. Aka where the space time continuum is oriented within the “everything”. And by extent, where we ourselves are oriented within the space time continuum. I feel like i could represent this well with a 3d image. We are each our own space time continuum? With all this being understood i believe there is no possible way for us as humans to answer the question of whether there is a god, or what god is. I could be wrong about this but I dont think I personally would be able to. Same with the question of free will. The two are definitely interrelated. I feel like the ideas ive been saying can provide a different framework for talking about questions like this about god and free will and stuff, but the new framework would have to be engaged with/understood more fully in order to get any answers significantly more substantial than what we as humans have already.

“Third eye opening” is what i refer to this experience as but thats just an expression. The eye opening metaphor doesnt hold up super well when i actually think about what i mean by it. What i mean is the moment that you started to understand existence {in a certain way}, more “deeply”/“outside of just perceiving the space time continuum. But i dont think it actually necessarily refers to a specific threshold thats being passed, i just feel like ive reached a level today that is noteworthy because of how much i am able to understand. {In a certain way} is purposefully vague because again im not really sure if there is a threshold for what that certain way actually is, or how you might determine it. Its more that i reached a significant level of understanding existence today. But when people talk about the “third eye being open”, and they actually mean it, this is definitely in the realm of what they mean. Out of all the people in the world who make claims about having their “third eye open”, probably not very many of them mean something similar as i do when I talk about my experience of the third eye being open.

I was thinking about some other stuff as i was lying in bed i didnt write it down unfortunately as i was thinking it but i think it was pretty much repetitions of earlier ideas but elaborated in slightly different ways. overall the final thought was that in sum here are was that i not only can finally conceive of the idea of the fourth (spatial) dimension properly, but i also finally understand that the spatial dimensions are only one tiny “branch” of the many infinities of dimensions that branch into infinitely more infinities of dimensions. I understand now what is meant by “space time continuum” in relation to “everything else”. Oh one other thought i do remember having is that human “religion” (we talked in one my classes how difficult that word is to define) has very little to do with the actual god questions, i.e. what god is and what movement is and how god “works”, but not absolutely nothing to do with them. It’s our (humans’) very very very imprecise way of trying to address these questions.

And one other final thing. My first instinct was to spend hours thinking about how to best and most precisely communicate my understanding so that other people (and sober me) can understand it. I don’t understand why thats what I immediately jumped to doing and still feel the urge to do, when I could much more easily have decided that I was content with just understanding it myself and spending the rest of life knowing that I now have this special knowledge. I always thought i saw knowledge for the sake of knowledge as the ultimate pursuit but I guess I also have the drive to apply it somehow. I wonder if this is true for everyone on some level or not. Oh yes I also had been thinking about how difficult human language is to express what I’m trying to say because its not really equipped for it. like i just want to put quotations around every single word because words are just approximations for the ideas they are trying to express even when talking about ideas that our language is actually designed to describe, not even to mention trying to talk about stuff that it isnt. math concepts (even the few that I actually know anything about) are super super helpful to me in trying to think about and communicate these ideas and now I completely understand what people mean when they say that math is our best bet for being able to communicate with extraterrestrial intelligent life seeing as we have no way of knowing how other beings might perceive information. Wait a minute. Whos even to say that even if our definition of “life” didnt ever evolve anywhere else in the universe, there couldn’t be something else that wasn’t “alive” by this strict definition but not exactly “not alive” either. Like it didnt have “cells” exactly like earth organisms but it was somehow distinct from “not alive” things just like earth organisms are. Like the same way that viruses are neither alive nor not alive.

That article i had to read in cog sci about the “levels of understanding” (i.e. sociology is an abstraction of psychology is an abstraction of biology is an abstraction of chemistry is an abstraction of physics) is something that can fit into this understanding and probably led me to it too, seeing as I have thought about it a good deal since when i read it a few years ago. “...Is an abstraction of” is kinda like saying “is the derivate of”. Or is it like saying “is the integral of”, sorry I’m getting really tired.

Is “How” the integral of “what”, or the derivative?

Ok NOW i am going to actually sleep and instead of trying to think about this more i am going to be content with the fact that i now have all this knowledge.

Your neurons take a snapshot

Even if i am right about all this there isnt actually a point in conveying it and making it understood by other people. Even if it is an extraordinary feat to be able to understand all this it wont be seen as extraordinary (whatever that means) unless enough other people can understand it well enough to understand its significance, or someone who does understand it can make it relevant in some way to the rest of humanity and the functioning of society. I can wake up tomorrow and choose to say “lol i was so high and just rambling nonsense” and choose never to engage with these ideas again and go about my life like normal, or i can take on the burden of choosing to believe they are real, and then deciding whether i need to make them and their significance known (I dont even know if i know what their “significance” is, or if they have one). I dont know which one would overall be the better thing to do.