#i say that as if je ciuldnt kill me Immediately . but . let me fist fight him bx i cant do much else !!! im in a box !!!! n im terrified !!!
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#trying to . not smoke to cope w these feeling isnuh . Not fun i .#i cannot describe it icfeel pathetic and insane ohh my god .#im still more uoswt over losing him than i am over my best friend n that is not gonna make . me not giggle a lil#anyway ! cannot do tgis i want a refund on the last 2yrs bc what the everloving fuck.#2022 feels like a fever fucking dream. how thebfuck didnall of that take plaxenonly 2yrs ago#n how didni end up here .#ANYWAY . i hate this feeling i hate everything sbt this n ik im supposed.to find . some goodness in it#and i AM . like . there is a lot of goof that has come from this. but . if there isnt this almost permenant ache that#i literally cant get rid of . used tocscoff at ppl who said that it could feel like going from feel whole to#feeling like a piece is missing bc how how can one Person do that . but like i do get it :/#its so sick n twisted . like i have Two options rlly . n i have to choose one bc i have no other choice rlly . but#i am gritting my teeth . while i do it bx it isnt lesseninf and is only getting Worse Somehow !#i thought time was supposed tocmake it better n . i thoughy time was supposed toclessen the intensity of#wtv the fuck THIS is . but NO . how the fuck am i supposed tovgo the rest of my life like this#n k ik one day at a time it wont always feel like this . but what if it does. i could actually kms fromcthat idea#tgis is so fucked i actually . have gotta swinf at him for this . let me fist fight him .#i say that as if je ciuldnt kill me Immediately . but . let me fist fight him bx i cant do much else !!! im in a box !!!! n im terrified !!!#i went away and expected it to feel Less . but no. it somehow was Stronger and . more evil#string theory or wtv u wanna call it . idk were fucking tied tgth n some shape or form . bc how#else am i to explain tje weird pyschological tinglings i get other than spiritual bullshiy i am Going Crazy fr .#pyschward me atp. beinf aober isnt helping - but smoking doesnt either i am gonna kill him fr.#and then myself and pray shits different next lifetime. it would absolutely be funny to add murder tocour karma#bx this isnt our first rodeo tgth. weve done this dancd before in another lifetime . sickening.#anyway add murder karma to it ! why the fuck not !#im kidding obvioisly. i coildnt murder anyone .
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