#i say as if I wasn't having full on meltdowns like a couple days previous

[transgender-catboy]

Guess who's not gonna be homeless tomorrow!

[lazysailor]

16 Kayden

Kayden hadn't had a full meltdown in a long time, the last time she remembered having one was a year ago when her asshole brother decided to make her have a sensory overload by blasting music in the house while her parents weren't at home. She wishes she could forget her brother and parents but it's sometimes hard too. What she didn't expect though was Avery of all people to find her in such a vulnerable state, she dreaded the day he would see her like this, she feared he would stop being friends with her because of her meltdown. But she was surprised to find him sitting outside the kitchen when she managed to calm down, what really stuck with her was the fact he stayed and was concerned about her well being. The moment Avery mentioned if something was she wasn't telling him it took her a moment but the words started to spill out of her mouth.

“Yes there has..It’s actually something I've been afraid to tell you ever since I met you. I'm autistic but there's nothing exactly wrong with me, I've been scared to tell you this because I feel like you'll leave me if you found out. That's why I kept it a secret from you so long..You're my only friend Avery..” Kayden tells him as tears roll down her cheeks

Avery takes in her words for a moment before he pulls her into a tight hug.

“Kayden, you should never be afraid to tell me anything! Hell, I was comfortable telling you that I was gay after knowing you for a couple weeks!” He tells her as he seems to hold back tears.

She wraps her arms around him and sobs into his shoulder.

“I understand now how you felt when you came out to me.” Kayden says to him while her voice was slightly muffled by her face being on his shirt.

“I know..It’s hard to do.” He says as she gives her a light pat on the back.

..

After they both calmed down they walked out of the meal jet and they saw Ryder running towards them.

“Guys! You won't believe what happened!” He yells while still running towards them.

Kayden didn't want to see him again after their previous talk, but she would have to deal with it.

“What happened?” Avery asks.

“The Admiral had a heart attack while we were rioting and three people decided to bring him to the hospital! That Cleaver guy died because we managed to jump him! Oh and those people's names were Connor, Risa, and Roland!” Ryder info dumps them.

She has heard all of those people's names but they all seemed like an odd group of people to help the Admiral, well that's what she thought.

“I forgot to mention but this guy named Hayden is in charge for now!” He adds on.

“Shit we really did miss a lot.” Avery says like he was saying it to himself.

“Yeah we did.” Kayden says.

..

Life in the graveyard was weird for a while since the Admiral was gone, she usually doesn't like it when things are changed suddenly. But this was just plain weird to her like it was alien. She was talking to Avery one day when suddenly there was some commotion on the main aisle, but it wasn't like the one when the riot happened.

“What do you think is happening over there?” Kayden asks.

“I don't know..Maybe we should check it out?” Avery says as he stands up and starts walking over to the commotion.

Kayden quickly follows him because she was also curious about what was happening over there.

When they made it back over they saw that those two people who left the graveyard were back..But the third one was missing. The boy had a big scar covering the right side of his face along with a tiger shark tattoo on his right forearm that didn't seem to match the rest of the boy's appearance. The girl was also now in a wheelchair which seemed like she wasn't in one before by people's reaction to it. Kayden was trying to figure out where the third person was while she was completely unaware that these two people had survived the Happy Jack explosion.

“Avery, I feel like something's off.” She tells him.

“Hm really? I feel like it's just something we didn't expect to see.” He says to her.

She tried to take his words but she still tried to figure out what even happened while those three people were gone and where that third person was..She was unaware she was thinking about the same guy who basically made her scared the crap out of her when she first came to the graveyard and the fact his right forearm now belonged to the boy who came back.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Avery's.

“Are you okay Kayden? You seem lost in thought.” He asks her.

“Oh no I'm doing fine..” She tells him.

[ellaintrigue]

"ABUSIVE TYPES HIDE THE FACT THEY'RE ABUSIVE, WEAR THEIR VICTIMS DOWN AND ISOLATE THEM, SO THEY NO LONGER HAVE ANY SUPPORT BUT THE ABUSER, THEN START THE ABUSE, MAKING THE VICTIM BELIEVE THEY DESERVE IT AND EVEN HAVE THE VICTIM DEFEND THE ACTIONS OF THE ABUSER. YOU NEVER KNOW SOMEONE IS ABUSIVE UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE."

Growing up I knew what abuse was. It was when someone called you bad names and made fun of you, or it was when someone hit you or was otherwise physical. But those are the basics, I had no idea. It was the 90s and early 00s. No one had cellphones, let alone internet in our rural community. Mom raised me well but we didn't know what we know now. Abuse, even simple harassment, is being talked about now on a level it never was and the internet alone is in an uproar. It's a good thing.

It just passed the anniversary of my grandmother's death and the 1 year anniversary of when I first met up with the last guy (no abuse). That stings a little. But now it is about to be the 5 year anniversary of when I became a victim of domestic violence. It haunts me and I used to talk way too much about it to people, a trauma effect. But it's one of those things that will stick with you.

I never considered myself a victim until the day he got physical, which is when I left him. That is when something clicked in my head: THIS IS NOT OKAY. I was in a stupor after the assaults but I knew to escape. I'm going to approach this topic from the standpoint of a cis female, because let's face it, this is a huge issue with men against women in particular. Let's not candy-coat that. That said, remember no one, male, female, or otherwise has the right to put you down, control you, or put hands on you!

It all starts somewhere. Like the person above says, everyone is nice at first. Forget the bad boys versus nice guys shit. Nice guys are creeps (Google Nice Guy Syndrome). Women sense outward creepiness right away especially with all the whining, but the rest of mankind is a gamble. You never know what you're going to get into.

The standard list of an abusive partner is pretty clean cut, describing fear, a lot of control, and violence: https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-domestic-abuse-signs

I could never be fully controlled and ended up punching him several times in fact, which was wrong and made me an abuser. I should have left. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO LEAVE OVER THE THOUGHT OF HEARTBREAK OR BEING ALONE. THERE ARE ZILLIONS OF PEOPLE OUT THERE EVEN IF DATING IS A BITCH.

There were good times and he did things for me but there's always a bright side to an abuser, that's what makes you stay. There was never any name calling or put-downs. He had mental illness breakdowns and was worried about me cheating mainly.

Here is my self-compiled list of abuse warning signs that happened to me:

1 Your partner dislikes and doesn't trust your family and close friends, encouraging you to distance yourself from them. He says they are abusing you.

2 Your family and friends nearly all dislike your partner, saying he's not acting right or something doesn't feel right.

3 Your partner is worried about you cheating. He worries about your boss, your coworkers, and customers at your job. He doesn't like you being anywhere without him.

4 Your partner is always calling or texting you, even if it's "just to talk." Normal relationships have space, you should be able to go a few hours without chatting or being around each other.

5 Untreated mental illness. I WOULD NEVER CLICHE OR BASH ANYONE WITH MENTAL PROBLEMS CLEARLY I HAVE THEM MYSELF. But when someone chooses to refuse treatment and starts victimizing those around them, being ill is NOT an excuse. Never ever feel sorry for an abuser because they are bipolar or have schizophrenia, etc. NEVER let them use their health as an excuse.

6 Establishing a relationship right away and wanting to have kids soon, even if there is no financial stability. They want to tie you to them.

7 They need reassurance that the relationship is "forever" and that you will never leave.

8 While ignoring all the red flags due to inexperience, previous abusive relationships, or whatever reason, you are still nervous and feel the need to ask the person if they would act out if you ever did have to leave them.

9 They threaten to kill themselves if you do try to leave or have any sort of space from them.

10 They can't hold a job. That's not a moral failing, it's a sign of instability that is not healthy for anyone. It will often fall on you to provide for them. That should be consensual, not forced, like when a man or woman stays home and cares for children while their partner agrees to work and is okay with that.

11 They destroy your belongings in fits of rage. YOU ARE NEXT, NO JOKE THERE...

12 They tell others that you are controlling and abusing them. They tell people that you did things that they actually did, like smashing a vase for example.

13 They threaten to call the police and tell them you assaulted them (these are times I was not hitting him although I admit I was wrong when I did that). They threaten to have you taken to the mental ward. They hit or cut themselves to threaten to tell the police you did it to them.

14 They steal from you. That's a pretty obvious one but yeah it happens anyway, and of course you don't want to press charges because they are still your partner. Some was paid back but it's still not okay.

15 They say their meltdowns and actions were never as bad as how you saw them (gaslighting).

Don't put up with any of this shit. Last week I went to the grocery store and this angry man was huffing through the isles talking to himself. He grabbed some things and piled them on his woman, who wasn't walking too fast and acted nervous. The man bitched at her and she moved towards the checkout line as I was walking up with a big cart full of shit. She told me to go ahead and I said, "no, you go ahead, you only have a few things." She was also in her work scrubs, a healthcare worker. She turned to me and said in this small nervous voice, "I also need to buy gas, will that be a problem?" I didn't really process what she said at first because it didn't make sense but said yes, of course. That would only take seconds after she paid for her 3 items.

This woman seemed timid and worn-down. This couple appeared to be in their early 50s, her with her hair done and clean, and him in dirty clothes with wild eyes. He demanded money from her and then shoved past me and another woman to go into the alcohol section of the building. As I left, he came out of another exit and cut close to me, babbling to himself while carrying a 6 pack of beer. He was yelling to himself that he got the wrong beer. She exited with the food and he huffed after her. This was 9 AM.

Don't let yourself be that woman. And if you are that woman, it's never too late, especially if you work and support that man. Save up, get support, bail. Please run before he kills you.