#i saw you like that post (man the most recent comic run of DS was so good)

[lastavenged]

❝  You  didn’t  come  all  the  way  here  just  to  tell  me  that.  ❞ to clea <3

There's a coyness to her smile, inspecting the spell work in front of them. Obviously done by apprentices who were doing terrible work, she notes as she snaps her fingers, then flicks outwards twice to start a flame to burn away the mess. The fire flicks between colors, selective in its consumption, as she pulls Stephen aside again. ❝ Would you have listened to anyone else? ❞ She doubts he would responded to any form of message, looking at the mess that he has found himself summoned to. It would be easy to get lost in.

❝ I suppose if Zelma or Bats' voice sounded like your own, you could be fooled into listening. ❞ She almost shimmers in his view, smiling up to him; ❝ You needed a pretty face to tell you the other news; Mordo's being a pest again too and its absolutely going to ruin your day. ❞

[aion-rsa]

The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 12 Review: Diary Queen

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This The Simpsons review contains spoilers.

The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 12

The Simpsons Season 32, episode 12, “Diary Queen,” may be the sweetest offering of the series. It’s not only sentimental and self-esteem-positive, it’s downright edumacational. At least for Bart, who certainly learns a lesson. Thankfully, as the episode explains by example, he probably won’t retain it.

“What’s the matter, Bart? I figure you’d be used to failing by now,” Edna Krabappel once consoled the spiky haired kid who seemed so determined to get through school without schooling. Marcia Wallace, who played the Springfield Elementary teacher, died unexpectedly in October 2013. Edna’s death was first acknowledged in “Four Regrettings and a Funeral,” from season 25, when Bart wrote “We’ll really miss you Mrs. K” on the chalkboard. He only wrote it once. Her death was punishment enough. Both the character and the voice actor were instrumental in the chemistry of The Simpsons, and chemistry happens to be one of the few things Bart’s ever excelled at in school, even pranking a talent show in the “Haw-Haw Land” episode. But he gets his beakers crossed in the latest installment.

“Diary Queen” opens with an inspired West Side Story song parody, “Too Nice” replacing “Tonight.”  It’s time for Ned Flanders’s annual yard sale, and he’s on a holy mission to undersell eBay. Comic Book Guy is looking for a broom to play Quidditch on, Waylen Smithers is going to score some kitsch, and Ned will finally toss those fuzzy dice Maude bought him to the bottom of an impulse item box of jokes he did not get. The Flanders family are parting with their humble possession in a public bid for humility, in case no one notices. Ned gives up Rod’s teeth. Todd consigns his toys to the auction block on the grass. “Playing is a sin that we regret,” one of the Flanders kids explains.

Ned’s bizarre outdoor bazaar is the only segment which has any meanness in it. The Springfieldians want to take advantage of Ned, and openly mock him. Carl and Lenny turn the yard sale into a yarn brawl, and Jimbo’s gang buys commemorative plates just to smash them. It’s enough to send Ned looking for the fans he always carries around in case of stress-induced hot flashes. As Patty and Selma are flicking ashes into Rod and Tod’s baby shoes, it seems Nelson, Bart, and Millhouse are the only ones worthy to buy Ned’s treasured mementos. And, of those, only Nelson’s purchase is authentic. He buys all the bad words, like “adultery” and “fornication,” which Ned cut out of his old religious texts. Nelson has a genuine use for them, you can just tell.

Bart and Millhouse buy the books. Even without the offending admonishments, they swear they’ll still find useful ways to better themselves. Their haul winds up being the fiery centerpiece for a supercool skateboarding feat which no one will ever see. It’s an old joke, but we do get to notice how big Millhouse’s nose looks when he’s picking it. One book, which gives the title to the episode, is spared the conflagration of Bart’s daredevil jump: Edna Krabappel’s diary. Bart recognizes the Ds and Fs, and Millhouse recognizes the smell of Parliament Lights 100s. It’s very telling how these are the most recognizable clues. They are each ready-made character punchlines.

The diary is a font of information. Bart and Millhouse learn all the teachers work night jobs during school hours, and the many lonely secrets of Groundskeeper Willie. But their first use of it is inspired gaggery. Bart learns Superintendent Chalmers keeps his car keys behind the visor. The two kids not only steal the car but take advantage of a free yogurt offer at a car wash. The idea that taking the yogurt and ditching the car is a “perfect crime” is great kids’ logic. It is a little odd, however, that Springfield’s Chief Wiggum sees fourth grade car thieves as inspiration for a little personal time with Officer Lou, but it works within Simpsons logic.

The central point of the episode is Bart’s relationship with his dead teacher, and his relationship with himself. He actually believes someone he thought only saw him as troublesome also considered him “smart as a whip.” It leads him to believe he actually has potential, which he translates to: all the time he was showing his butt he was showing promise. This spurs him into thinking about getting seriously educated. Not only does he try but he succeeds on his first dry run, resisting the urge to draw a skeleton head on a multiple-choice test grid, and getting an A. Not only does he finally understand how his sister Lisa doesn’t suck, but he puts himself on the same level.

Lisa goes through all the stages of jealousy, and even realizes she’s on the verge of obsession when even her imaginary comfort pony begins to look like Bart. This makes it worse, because realizing he is the only thing she can think about only makes her dwell on it. Lisa is usually the family genius, and how she reacts to Bart doing well really depends on the circumstance and need for story conflict. For instance, when Bart had to apply geometry to miniature golf in an early episode, Lisa brought a Zenlike understanding of all things which putt. Lisa does Bart a disservice tonight in the guise of doing the right thing. It’s her MO.

Of course, Marge and Lisa don’t trust Bart’s recent good grades, but while he comes up clean to Marge, Lisa digs up the dirt. Bart correlates “cruel” with “lying” because “they’re both great.” He thinks he’s going to win a Spelling Bee just because he has the potential to do it. Would it have been less cruel for Lisa to let him see how far his belief would get him? She’s set him up for worse humiliations just for an edge at science fairs.

Millhouse gets a few good gags tonight. When Lisa starts developing a rash because of the stress of not crushing her brother’s potential, he pulls cream out of his fanny pack labeled “rash stash.” Groundskeeper Willie is a highlight of the episode. His character has one of the most interesting takes on passive aggressive behavior in comedy. It’s not that he gets it backwards, so much as he pays it forward: Terrorizing Bart with the idea of simmering a new pet into rabbit stew when all he’s thinking of is how much bunnies love stewed carrots.

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Subtle social commentary makes its way into the episode. As this is the first episode since the Trump presidency, it opens with a Bald Eagle flying a sign asking “Is it safe yet?” We learn Ned doesn’t find Bill Maher funny. A priest tells Bart and Millhouse reading someone else’s diary in church is not the worst thing you can do within the hallowed walls. Moments later we see the priest handcuffed and escorted past the pews by the police. We can only wonder what offenses are happening at Reverend Lovejoy’s competition.

Fat Tony (Tony Montagna) tells his henchmen his crime family doesn’t kill children, “We wait till they’re 18.” Lisa is kept up at night by the cold dead eyes of Mike Pence. Subtle subversive commentary can be found when Principal Skinner declares the drug-free portion of the school assembly a success because Lisa, the only one in the auditorium, tells him she doesn’t do drugs. But the scene comes shortly after we learn Dr. Hibbert is pushing kiddie-Xanax “sleepies” and “dopies” on her. The best bad side effects are “Portuguese insolence” and the “tendency to see yourself as others see you.”

The episode has quite a few sight gags which work well. The sign outside the Spelling Bee contest reads H-E-A-R, and we see one of the losing contestants ripping up a dictionary on the way to the exit. When Ned starts to preachify in the treehouse, he only stops because Bart is drawing back a trigger finger on his slingshot. Mrs. Krabappel’s beloved cat not only was not harmed during the making of the episode, but was a willing participant, according to the closing disclaimer. One of the stills in the photo montage is of Krabappel watching The Bob Newhart Show, which Marcia Wallace was a regular on.

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For the majority of The Simpsons’ run, Mrs. Krabappel was a sexually independent woman who was often “looking for a substitute to teach me a lesson I sorely need.” She began dating widower Ned in “The Ned-Liest Catch” from season 22. They married in secret and stayed together until her death in “The Man Who Grew Too Much.” The cause of Edna’s death has never been revealed, except in a non-canon, future-set episode. For this installment, Wallace’s two lines are taken from earlier episodes. “Diary Queen” will be her last appearance.

This is a different kind of arc for The Simpsons. “Diary Queen” is on an uplifting trajectory until Lisa knocks it off course, and ends in a sudden life-affirming crash. Bart’s final warning to Marge, “I’ll go over the edge if you try to make me feel better,” is wonderfully skewered, but the final twist is a dose of treacle. The episode was originally slated to premiere on Valentine’s Day, and is a sweet sendoff.

The post The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 12 Review: Diary Queen appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[blazehedgehog]

Do you have any opinions on Star Wars? (Games, comics, movies, shows, etc.)

This is a very broad question, so I hope you’re prepared for a broad response. By which I mean: yo this post is going to be long.

Star Wars is pretty cool, I guess. I’ve seen A New Hope a lot.

I remember the same day the trailer for The Phantom Menace dropped, they installed iMac G3s in our high school computer lab. That was probably the first thing any of us did on one of those, was watch it, back when apple.com used to not only host, but premiere movie trailers in Quicktime format.

I remember getting swept up in that zeitgeist, about how amazing it was going to be, and hearing reviews slam it. I never saw it in the theater, because I never see movies in theaters (even back then). I remember renting it on VHS and finding it tremendously boring. Way too many hard-to-follow politics.

I saw Attack of The Clones in theaters, because my Mom and I had four free movie tickets from some giveaway. So we saw Clones and the first Sam Raimi Spider-man. For the longest time, those were the last two movies I saw in theaters (up until a couple years ago, when my cousin took me to see Pacific Rim, and then most recently, my brother took all of us to see Cars 3). I remember on the way in seeing a friend from High School in the lobby playing the theater’s Marvel vs. Capcom cabinet. I dropped a quarter in and he mopped the floor with me.

Clones seemed fine when I was coming out of the theater. Going to the theater felt like a special event (because it was), so I don’t think the movie itself even really sunk in until I tried watching it a second time a year later, on home video – I found it to be one of the worst movies I’d ever seen, at that point in time. Just, absolutely awful. An embarrassment if there ever was one.

I saw Revenge of the Sith on video about a year after its release and thought it was the most watchable movie in the prequel trilogy. I have not seen it again since.

I did not really grow up with Star Wars video games. I remember renting the Super Star Wars trilogy and never liking any of them. Way too unforgivably difficult and genuinely kind of ugly games, too. People will go on about Factor 5′s big downfall being Lair for the PS3, but in all honesty I’ve never played a Factor 5 game I’ve enjoyed. Their Star Wars games in particular.

Yes, that even means all of the Rogue Squadron games. I’ve played the (first?) Nintendo 64 game, which quickly shoves an escort mission in your face (the worst). The second Gamecube game I ever owned was Rogue Squadron 2, bought for $2 in around 2005. Very visually impressive, but again, the mission variety and the extreme level of difficulty drags things down. Not very fun.

I have fond memories of the demo for Jedi Outcast, but I would later come to realize those find memories weren’t from playing the game normally – I would enable cheats, jack all my force powers up to max and goof around, shoving storm troopers off of ledges and spawning The Reborn and having saber duels with them in rooms that weren’t built for those kinds of fights.

My real fond memories are of the first Jedi Knight game (Dark Forces 2), which I forced my mom to buy for me when we ditched our 266mhz Packard Bell for a 1.5ghz Sony Vaio. I wanted to “test the system’s capabilities,” even though the game was 4-5 years old at that point. My “memories” of Jedi Knight are of having fun, but I don’t actually remember many specifics, except a level with a lot of water and a lot of mynocks.

Many years later, when I bought Jedi Outcast on Steam, I found it, too, to be insanely frustrating. The entire lead up to that game before you get your saber is awful, especially the level with all the rodian snipers. One of those old-style PC games where you’re expected to savescum your way through everything, with two fingers perched on the quicksave and quickload keys at all times. Even once I started cheating, much as I did with the Outcast demo, it failed to hold my interest – it eventually degenerates in to awful platforming levels with controls ill-suited to such a task.

I’ve never touched a KOTOR, despite owning both on Steam now. I know they’re high regarded, and I bought them with the intent on playing them eventually, but it just never happened.

The secret best Star Wars game is probably Revenge of the Sith on the Nintendo DS. It’s by Ubisoft and I think Gameloft, which usually is a bad combination. It’s a Turtles in Time-style beat’em’up with the occasional 3D shooter section. It’s generic and kind of forgettable, but also way better than it has any right to be. There’s a version of the same game on the GBA, but it’s missing the 3D shooter stuff and a few other bonus features the DS version gets.

The only other Star Wars game I remember enjoying is the Podracer game, but that took a long time to click with me. It’s one of those games that I think really benefits from an instruction manual, or watching someone else play, or something. I think specifically what got the game to click with me was watching World Record runs on Youtube.

Realizing that game has a boost system and heat management really gave it a sort of depth I didn’t think it had. And don’t underestimate how easy it looks in this video, actually juggling the cycle of overheating, repairing, and boosting while also steering is a LOT harder than you’d think. But it’s completely necessary – despite being a podracing game, it’s not normally anywhere near as fast as it’s depicted in the movie… unless you know how to ride the line like these guys. :p

I’d go for a new, modern Podracer game. I’m also aware the Arcade/Dreamcast version is a completely different game. Never tried it.

Saw The Force Awakens when it released on DVD, thought it was alright. A little safe, but it was significantly better than the prequels. A solid Star Wars movie, just not outstanding. I have a lot of friends who have grown bitter about how derivative it is, but not me. (I also have only ever watched it once.)

I have not yet seen The Last Jedi, and probably won’t until it reaches home video. I’ve been avoiding spoilers as best I can, but at the very least, I know it’s a very divisive movie and I can make some assumptions as to why, based on the ways The Force Awakens shook a couple things up and some very minor spoilers I’ve seen.

I saw Rogue One last year and thought it was fine. Not a fantastic movie, but an interesting mess, I guess. I can’t honestly remember much about it right now except for the ending. And the robot being the best part of the movie.

Also rewatched Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi (the original theatrical versions) semi-recently (before TLJ came out) and thought they were good. Empire Strikes Back is obviously the best Star Wars; it has the strongest identity, the strongest storyline, etc. Return of the Jedi is a decent popcorn flick. Not exactly cutting edge opinions there.

I know I’ve seen the Ewok movie at some point but it’s been 20 years at least since I even looked in that direction.

Not looking forward to the Han Solo origin movie.

Getting tired of Disney screaming Star Wars marketing at me every year, all year (though it’s getting to feel more like background radiation now.)

Saw the original Genndy “Clone Wars” shorts, liked them, didn’t love them. Never saw any of the Star Wars TV cartoons, though I hear good things about them.

Never read a Star Wars comic book before, but I own one of the Omnibuses from a Humble Bundle a few years ago.

There’s probably more to say but this post has gone on long enough and I feel like I’m scraping for things to say.