#i saw Michael buble and my brain was like | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

derekmorganscrocs · 4 years ago

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My Thoughts While Watching 2x4 Nancy Drew! MILD SPOLIER ALERT!!

I got a little carried away, so this is kinda long, but funny. Just a heads up lol.

I love Ace’s shirt in the beginning scene he looks adorable.

Ace already wrote his obituary?! VINTAGE AUTOMOBILE ENTHUSIAST?! I LOVE HIM.

AW ACE BROUGHT MR D COFFEE? HES CHECKING IN ON HIM IM CRYING.

“Classified.” 😐

STOP WHY IS RYAN SO SALTY ABOUT ACE NOT BUYING HIM A COFFEE

OMG THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING. Ace as a mediator I love. Nancy’s a chicken now?

RYAN IS SO SALTY “you would say that, wouldn’t you.”

THE COFFEE AGAIN. ACE GIVING HIM HIS COFFEE STOP.

CA-RY-ACE THE NEW LOVE TRIANGLE.

Bess and Lisbeth are so sweet

I relate to george yeeting her sister into the business. Not the death part but still-

“Stop yelling at me” sir she is not yelling.

PERIODT NANCY GO OFF QUEEN. And they got applause.

Me waiting for the aglacea to just pardon their betrayal because nancy is standing for her: 👁��👁

PLS NANCY X AGLACEA FRIENDSHIP

dude these commercials are so annoying-

OHH ACE I see you’re an ~art boy~ He’s subtweeting them irl- OH THEY KNOW

Ryan only caring about nancy??? Saltily???

Carson now you’re just being an ass.

OH KAY SUGAR DADDY RYANNNN

Nancy and Bess moment that’s so sweet.

SALT AND BURN SALT AND BURN- sorry the winchesters just possessed my body for a sec. they rly just saw her necklace AND DIDNT SALT AND BURN, COME ON

ok that was really funny lmao Nancy scaring Bess sent me.

FREAKY BASEMENT

AH NOT THE SLAMMING DOOR RUN BITCHES RUN

NANCYS FACE

Michael Bublés buble commercial always sends me

So Marvin is a murderer. ANOTHER GHOST?

Nancy’s fan club lmao

Nancy and Bess being the sleuth sisters I love

Awe George and Jessie :(

GHOST GOGGLES??? SMART NICK STOP I LOVE NICK. NICK NICK NICK SMILE AW HES SO SAD SHHSKALA I CANT HANDLE THIS

RYAN IS SO SALTY I LOVE HIM

Carson stop being so aggressive

RYAN COMING THRU WITH THE ROASTS

Why is she going alone. Never go in basements alone.

This green is serving me major buzzfeed unsolved.

Torture chamber basement??? Marvin is a murderer, guaranteed. The basement is freaky and not in the good way.

IS RYAN ABOUT TO CRY RIGHT NOW? NO HES SO SWEET “wh-What would I say to her?” I CANT. (I definitely forgot he was lowkey a predator when I was writing this) Fatherly Ryan. Why does this scene look like really dream-like? MUSICIAN RYAN? “I’m right? I just solved something before nancy Drew!” HE LOOKS SO PROUD OF HIMSELF. The way he knows something is off bc she’s being decent.

THE CHURCH IS TERRIFYING I DO NOT LIKE THE SONG ITS FREAKIN ME OUT

SALT AND BURN SALT AND BURN SALT AND BURN SALT AND BURN

I really want the aglacea to forgive them, I rly just-

Periodt Agnes is a badass bitch. I love her.

Sister thinks the kfc burger looks like a yellow brain.

WHY?? ARE PERFUME COMMERCIALS??? SO DRAMATIC???

Yo why does Cheerios have a lil uzi song?

THATS SUCH A PRETTY DINNER TABLE!! BESS PLS SHOW UP BESS PLS.

GEORGE DON’T CRY. Stop George finally breaking. Her face when nick said it- NICK IS SO SWEET. “YOU NEED TO KNOW YOURE LOVED” YES SIR I DO PLS TELL ME U LOVE ME. OK I ACC SHIP GEORGE AND NICK NOW. NO POOR NICK. AND HES NOT LOOKING TO HEAR IT BACK. they’re sweet. Aw the way her voice gets all soft “that’s not helping” and you can just hear her smile-

It’s like midnight, why is ted at school-

SISTER MOMENT I LOVE. WHY IS GEORGE LITERALLY RAISING HER SISTERS, DEAN WINCHESTER TYPE BEAT- OW NOT JESSIE RUINING THE MOMENT WITH AN OCTOPUS AND SEEING THRU GEORGES LIE.

DID ACE WRITE A LETTER TO HIS DAD??

BESS CHICKENED OUT? IM HEARTBROKEN SHES SO SWEET.

NO NOT ACE LEAVING HIS DAD A LETTER BITCH I WILL CRY. I AM AN HOE FOR ACE AND ALSO I THINK HE IS BABY AND I AM SO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED IM NOT OK.

IF ACES DAD HAS TO GO THRU THE PAIN OF LOSING ACE I WILL SUE I LOVE ACE’s DAD.

WAIT- There’s aluminum in deodorant? (Commercial)

This is gonna go so badly. Something will go badly. SOMETHING IS WRONG. STOP ITS SO UGLY- ODETTE STOP SCREAMING SHES TRYNA HELP.

WTF

DID THEY JUST KILL A GHOST?

“Good thing this wasn’t a rental.”

Oh they only hurt her.

Some advice: don’t watch during the day bc the lighting is so dark and it’s really hard to see lmao

My sister’s thoughts:

“This is why you salt and burn things.”

“WHY WOULD SHE GO INN THE BASEMENT ALONE”

“I BET MARVIN IS A MUDERER”

“OH SHIT. She’s still crunchy.”

#ace nancy drew #nick nancy drew #nancy drew #nancy drew cw #cw #ned nickerson #bess marvin #george fan #george fayne #aglacea #owen marvin #ryan hudson #riley smith #alex saxon #kennedy mcmann #leah lewis #Madison jaizani

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mermaidxatxheart · 5 years ago

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Baby It’s Cold Outside

This is my submission for @mypassionsarenysins‘ #mypassionsaremysins1k celebration. Congratulations!

Prompt: Baby It’s Cold Outside by Michael Buble and Idina Menzel

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Word Count: 3656

Summary: Bucky wants to see his girl again and begs her to come over.

This is a continuation of my 1040s!Bucky story Here in Your Arms

The phone on the kitchen counter rings. An obnoxious sound, disrupting your breakfast. You frown at the machine, wondering who would be rude enough to call you so early.

You set your toast down and cross the creaking hardwood floors, picking up the heavy receiver before they hang up.

“Y/L/N’s residence.” You answer politely.

“Doll.” Bucky’s voice greets you, relieved. “I was startin’ to think you might still be sleepin’.” He says softly and you can hear the smile in his voice.

“James.” You sigh, amused and teasingly annoyed. “I figured you wouldn’t be up until at least noon.” You reply.

“And miss spending the day with my girl?”

You can hear the party line getting restless, other people trying to make their own calls and you cringe at the thought of anyone overhearing your personal business.

“Bucky, the point.” You remind him.

“I have some decorations to put up and because I have, how’d ya put it?” He thinks for second before snapping his fingers. “Boy brains, I don’t know how to do anything useful. I was hoping you’d come over and help me put ‘em up.” He says, his nervousness just barely audible over the ridiculous amount of charm. You want to chuckle at the reminder of your conversation the night before, but the chatter on the line is distracting you.

“You don’t even have a tree.” You say, glancing around your kitchen. “And I have so many things to do, and it’s supposed to storm real bad.”

“Please? I need your help, sweetheart.” He begs.

Begs.

You let out a long suffering sigh. “Fine. I’ll be there in a little bit. I expect hot cocoa.” You say and he laughs lightly.

“I am yours to command, doll.”

You huff and hang up the phone, setting it down a lot harder than you mean to. “Curse it all, James.” You groan before going up to your room to get dressed.

You look around your bedroom, it hasn’t changed much over the years. A desk added for your school work, a lamp for you to read by so you don’t have to strain your eyes, an expanded closet that your father installed years ago.

You have it decorated for the Christmas season, small holiday lights strung up around your window and over your bed. This is one of your favorite seasons and you readily decorated the rest of the house in your parents’ absence.

You open the closet doors, looking through your dresses. Something simple, but something you know he’ll like. You have a dress to match his perfect, sky blue eyes, but that’s not his favorite color; not on you.

No, his favorite color on you is a deep emerald green. So lush, so full of life. You pick up your favorite dress, long sleeved, white lace collar, white lace trim on the bottom, heart shaped buttons from the waist up.

You had been wearing it the first time he saw you, and in a way, you’ve come to consider the fabric your lucky dress. Something good always happens to you when you wear it, mostly concerning that daft idiot you’re so in love with.

You lift the hanger off the bar and hold it up against your frame, looking at your reflection in the full length mirror positioned in the corner of your room.

Perfect.

You discard your robe and pajamas, pulling on the soft fabric over your undergarments. You find your favorite Christmas thigh high stockings, a thick white set of thigh high things with fur lining, just the perfect thing to keep you warm on your walk to Bucky’s neighborhood.

It isn’t far, a dozen blocks or so, but with the bitter December wind blowing, it will feel like a lot longer. You’re a little nervous that the romantic atmosphere from last night will have dissipated, leaving an awkward tension behind.

You sit at your vanity, applying your subtle makeup. A touch of blush, your wickedly sharp eyeliner wings, mascara, and a small bit of red lipstick. Nothing outrageous, but it compliments your skin tone nicely.

A quick brush through your hair before pinning your long curls up with some bobby pins, not much effort put into taming it today, you’re too eager.

You head down the stairs and pull on your white boots, lacing them up your ankles. They’ll protect you from the snow covered sidewalks. You pull on your thick, white coat and pause to check your reflection in the front hall mirror.

Satisfied, you pull your ear muffs on, followed by your leather gloves and your purse. You open the front door, stopping short at the sight of the big man in front of you. His hand is raised awkwardly, clearly ready to knock, and just as surprised as you are.

“Brock.” You start, recovering your wits and stepping outside.

“Am I catching you at a bad time?” He asks. His voice is rough, a smoker’s voice. He’d be good looking enough, if it weren’t for that rotten attitude. His eye is swollen and bruised badly. Bucky got him good.

“Actually, a little bit. I’m headed out. Was there something you needed?” You ask, pulling your door closed behind you and quickly locking it.

“I was hoping to talk to you about last night at the dance. I wanted to apologize, my behavior was unacceptable.” He says, walking down your front steps with you.

“Oh. Well, apology accepted.” You say, knowing full well it’s going to happen again. He’s too much like his daddy.

“And I’m sorry if I hurt you. I know I got a little rough.” He adds sheepishly.

More than a little, but you nod all the same. “Apology accepted.” You repeat.

He doesn’t say anything about the names he called you. “Are you going to see Barnes?” He asks, almost managing to control the annoyance on Bucky’s last name.

“Not sure what business it is of yours, but yes.” You reply.

“I’ll walk you there.” He offers.

It’s simple, casual. There’s no hint of malice, or bad intent. But you’ve been burned too many times by Brock Rumlow to ever fully trust him.

“You don’t have to. It’s not that far.” You say with an offhand smile.

“It’s no trouble. And I’d rather make sure you got there safe and sound.”

“Also, irritating Bucky?” You ask, eyebrow raised.

“Just a perk.” He admits, scratching at the back of his neck.

The walk is quiet. He seems unsure what to say to you. Snowflakes start to fall about halfway there. You look up to the sky, seeing the dark clouds gathering.

“Gonna be a nasty storm tonight.” He says, following your gaze.

You nod in agreement, walking just a little bit faster. You turn onto Bucky’s street and Steve is standing on the corner, chatting with another man. He looks cold, nose all red, cheeks wind-blown. He looks up at the movement as his blue eyes get wide.

“I’ve been spotted.” Brock chuckles.

“You should probably go.” You say, glancing at him.

“Y/N.” Steve calls, heading towards you, his big feet wkicking puffs of snow out of his way.

“Hey, Stevie.” You reply, folding into his hug easily.

“Bucky’s been waitin’ for ya.” He says, the way he glances at Brock makes it clear he said it for the other man’s benefit.

“He was just walking me.” You say, linking your arm through Steve’s big one. “Bye, Brock.” You add, feeling it would be rude to not say something.

“Are you going to the dance this Friday?” Rumlow asks.

“I’m not sure.” You answer honestly. The last one took the fun out of them. And the only reason you had been going was to flirt and dance with Bucky.

Steve gently tugs your arm, guiding you towards Bucky’s house. “He’s gonna be pissed Rumlow was with you.” Steve says quietly.

“He showed up at my front door. I couldn’t exactly get rid of him.” You sigh, reaching up to brush snow out of Steve’s hair.

“What did he want?” He asks, slowing down just a little.

“To apologize for last night, and if he hurt me.”

“And you believe him?” Steve raises an eyebrow.

“I believe he means it for now. Until he drinks again.” You say honestly. You know he’s going to tell Bucky, you won’t try to stop him. You just hope that Bucky will choose staying with you over chasing down Rumlow.

Steve stops in front of the Barnes’ house. “Stay behind me.” He says with a wink and climbs the stairs. I follow his footprints and stand behind him, his massive frame hiding me from view.

He knocks sharply on the door and it yanks open, the latch catching roughly on the wood.

“Steve.” Bucky sighs, voice deflated. “I’ve already told you, I can’t hang out today.” He says. You peak very carefully and Bucky is distracted, eyes searching down the street for something.

“Yeah, I know. You’ve got plans.” Steve says with a smirk.

“She should’ve been here by now.” Bucky mutters, running a hand through his normally neat black hair. Today it’s a mess, frantic.

Sexy.

You like this look on him, rough at the edges. Not so composed. It’s more real. You love the charm and the way he smiles at you like you’re the only person in the world. But this side of him, worried that you might choose not to show up, not knowing that he already has you wrapped around his finger. So... unsure.

You find this just as attractive.

“You mean this beauty right here?” Steve asks, reaching behind him and grasping your hand. He gently pulls you into view and Bucky’s beautiful eyes land on you.

“Rogers.” Bucky says flatly.

Steve is snickering. “Yeah, Buck?”

“Get the hell off my porch.” Bucky snaps, holding his hand out for yours.

Steve cackles and you grin, tugging on his jacket collar. He leans down, still grinning and you press a kiss to his cheek. “Thanks.” You say before stepping inside. You set about taking off your boots while Bucky stands outside for a minute longer, talking to his best friend.

“Rumlow walked her here. She said he was apologizing.” Steve says quietly. But you can still hear.

“Fucking hell.” Bucky curses and you glance at the door.

“She’s fine, right in there with you. He didn’t do anything, Buck. He just wanted to talk.”

“I’m gonna kill him. I warned him.”

“I know. But you’re not gonna just leave her here all by herself. You’re gonna go inside and decorate your house with your girl. We can deal with Rumlow later.” Steve says firmly and you quietly thank god for Steven Grant Rogers.

“Fine. But he will be dealt with.” Bucky says. The two men say goodbye and you struggle to kick off your boots. He shuts the door and turns towards you, a bemused smile on his face.

“Oh, doll. What am I gonna do with you, eh?” He asks, kneeling down and deftly untying your boots. He lifts your leg, his big hand cupping the back of your calf intimately as he slowly slides your boot off. He makes quick work of the other one, his hands lingering not nearly long enough.

He stands up and gently removes your earmuffs, setting them on the radiator to dry. Your gloves follow and then he helps you out of your coat.

“Damn.” He mutters, draping your coat over the radiator to warm it up.

“What?” Your hands fly to your face, worried that your makeup got messed up in the snow.

He captures your wrists gently. “Stop, you’re perfect.” He promises. Any fear about the separation from last night vanishes as he looks at you. “Perfect.” He mumbles again.

“Then what are you cursin’ about?” You mutter.

“Weren’t you just listening?” He grins at you, linking his hand in yours.

“I’m not sure we were hearing the same conversation.” You sigh, lifting his hand to look at the bruises. Dark purple splotches cover his tan skin, veins spiderweb out from the center and your heart twists slightly. You trace them slightly, frowning.

“Doll?” He starts, drawing your gaze away from his hand.

“You shouldn’t have hit him, Buck.” You bite your lip.

His thumb is gentle as he carefully frees it. “I’m fine, sweetheart. Nothin t’worry about.” A mischievous spark in his eye flares and you know that look well. “Well, nothing a little kiss won’t cure.” He grins and you roll your eyes.

“I should have seen that coming.” You sigh dramatically, but you lift his hand to your mouth, gently pressing your lips to his bruised flesh. Your kiss is tender, soft. It’s a slow second before you lower his hand, flicking your eyes up to his.

“Better?” You ask, trying to refrain from smirking.

“My hand is.” He answers and you frown, not understanding the distinction.

“I don’t-“

“I promised you hot chocolate.” He says suddenly and the brightness of it makes you take a step back.

“Right. You did.” You nod, following him into the living room.

Boxes fill the space, looking new, at the very least, not used a lot. He steps around them into the kitchen and you look at the big tree taking up space in the bay window.

“Buck, how did you even get this thing in here?” You laugh, looking at the perfect tree.

“Steve and some of the boys helped.” He says, coming back in with a mug for you. He turns it around so the handle is ready for you to take.

You look at all the boxes, the brand new tree and up at his handsome face. “If I ask you a question, will you answer me honestly?” You ask, setting the mug down on the coffee table.

“You sound so serious.” He shifts nervously.

“Why do you want to do this? Why ask me?”

He stares at you, his eyes getting wide as his cheeks twinge pink.

“I thought it was obvious.” He scratches at the back of his neck. “I remembered you sayin’ Christmas was your favorite holiday. You couldn’t stop talkin’ about how you were gonna decorate your house and how you have your own decorations for your room. I bet it looks like a frosted winter wonderland in there.” He smiles, his beautiful eyes crinkling at the corners. “And, god, doll, I just want to spend time with you. This house hasn’t been decorated in years, not since Becca left, and I thought, why not? It’d be nice to feel like it was a home again for a while and since you love doin’ it so much, it won’t feel like such a chore.” He lifts a shoulder, staring at his feet.

You’re quiet for a long time, watching him shuffle nervously, hands fidgeting with his hair and his shirt.

“Can you say somethin’ please?” He sighs and you crack a smile.

“James Barnes, you’re sweet.” You say finally and he looks up at you.

“What?”

“How can I resist helping a knight in distress?” You grin. “But, you don’t have to make up reasons to see me. You think I would walk across town for just anyone?”

“Doll,” he closes his eyes with a small smile.

“Let’s get started.” You clap your hands, rubbing them together.

Pointing to a box of string lights, you start there. You screw the light bulbs in as he wraps it around the tree in a near perfect spiral.

“Is your sister coming home for Christmas?” You ask, watching him work.

“Nah, she’s spendin’ it with her new family.” He sighs.

“So, you’ll be alone?” You frown.

“I’m okay, darlin’.” He flashes you a charming smile, but it’s his empty one, the one he uses to get out of trouble.

You hand him a twist of loose garland and together you start draping them over the branches like silver icicles.

Your mind is racing. You can’t let him be alone. Not Bucky.

“What’s Stevie doing?” You ask and he shrugs.

“Same as me, I s’pose.”

You take the left over garland from him, your fingers brushing against his and you can’t shake the overwhelming feeling of your heart breaking for him.

“Doll, you’re staring at me.” He says, tilting his head.

“Admiring the view.” You say offhandedly and his lips part in surprise.

“Very bold, miss Y/L/N.” He says teasingly and you shrug.

“Not like I’m hiding how I feel about you.” You say, picking up a bag of hooks

“You’re not?” He asks, tilting his head.

“Am I being too subtle?” You reply, handing him an ornament to hang on a branch.

“Hmm, coy. I think that’s the word. Isn’t that what women are supposed to be to ensnare a man?” He asks and you look at him, bewildered. “I know nothing.” He amends quickly, holding up his hands in surrender.

You hang your head for a second, eyes falling on something in the boxes. A ball of mistletoe. Perfect.

“Well, are you ensnared?” You ask, handing him the ball and pointing to the doorway between the living room and kitchen.

He takes it and goes to hang it up. “Definitely.” He answers.

You follow him over, standing a little behind him in the doorway, waiting until he’s done before tapping him on the shoulder. He turns and smiles a little.

“Then the time for being coy is over. Are you really not sure?”

His hands cup your face gently, thumbs tracing your cheeks. “A guy can hope, but does anyone really know what goes on in a dame’s head?” He asks teasingly.

“No. Least of all the dame. But I know I want you, James Buchanan Barnes. Never doubt that.” You reply. “Now, tradition states-“ he cuts you off with a searing kiss, lips stealing your breath away, his gentle hands cradling your face.

Your fingers rake through his hair, making a mess of his dark locks as you cling to him. He pulls you against him, crushing your tiny body against his muscular frame. He pulls away sharply, eyes dark, breathing hard.

“We should finish... b-before the storm gets bad.” You mutter, feeling a little dazed. You never thought kissing a fella could feel like that.

“Yeah,” he agrees, blinking his eyes rapidly.

Your lips are swollen as you turn back around, taking a sip of your hot chocolate.

The decorating is fun, he makes you laugh and asks you a thousand questions. Things that time in the school yard can’t answer.

Honestly, you could spend forever talking to Bucky and it just wouldn’t be long enough.

It’s not until the wind rattles the windows with a particularly hard gust that you realize how late it’s gotten.

“I should get goin’.” You say, pushing yourself up.

“We aren’t done yet.” He protests.

“Bucky, the storm is rollin’ in. I gotta get home before it’s too late.” You head for the door, pulling your boots back on. “I’ll come back over tomorrow and we can spend all day together again. Okay?” You promise, wiggling your foot into the fur lined boot.

“You’re gonna freeze out there, sweetheart.” He says. “Just stay here. It’s warm and there’s no chance of you losin’ fingers or toes.”

You shake your head. “What would people think?”

“Let ‘em think what they want.” He sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“Easy for you to say. My dad will kill me if he ever heard that.” You mutter, lacing up your boots again.

“Doll, please don’t go?” He whispers. “I like when you’re here.”

You turn to face him slowly, taking in his face, slumped shoulders. “James Buchanan Barnes.” You say softly, cupping his cheek. “What are you so worried about? I’m comin’ back tomorrow. First thing, just like I promised. And I’ll spend all day with you.”

“I’m not worried about anythin’, doll. I just don’t want ya to go, is all.”

“Is this about Brock?”

“I warned him to stay away from you.” He clenches his fists.

“James, promise me you won’t go lookin’ for trouble. Rumlow isn’t worth it. I like you in one piece and not in jail.” You allow a soft smile to creep up your cheeks. “I can’t kiss ya if you’re in jail.” You remind him, reaching for your coat.

“That’s a good point.” He sighs. “Are you sure you can’t stay for another cup of hot chocolate?” He asks, catching your hands and pulling you close.

You trace the collar of his shirt, fixing it slightly. “I’m sure, Bucky. I need to go before it gets any worse.” You let out a small sigh and rest your forehead against his chest.

“I should walk you home.” He mutters.

“Nonsense. I’ll be fine.” You pull on your coat, reaching for the buttons, but he beats you to it. His long fingers take their time buttoning you in.

“Baby, it’s cold outside.” He insists and you can’t help the smile.

“All the more reason for you to not make the walk twice.” You say, pulling your earmuffs on. “I’ll call you when I get home, alright?” You say gently, sliding your hands into your warm gloves.

“I don’t like this. I should at least walk you home if you won’t stay.”

You pull him close and kiss him sweetly, feeling him relax in your hands. “I’ll be fine, my love.” You promise and turn towards his front door.

He opens it for you and you stop dead in your tracks. Snow is piled as high as your waist on his front porch. There’s no way you can walk home through that.

How had the storm gotten that bad this fast?

You clear your throat and slowly turn to Bucky who’s doing a terrible job of hiding his grin. “You said something about some more hot chocolate?” You mutter and his perfect smile cracks through.

“I’ll put on the kettle, gorgeous.”

Tags:

@everythingisoverrated @dsakita @shreddedparchment @bitsandbobsandstuff @after-avenging-hours @alexblrus @thinkingsofamadwoman @i-dont-want-to-be-called @thefridgeismybestie @fortheloveofallthatsholy @crazychaotic @pleasureoftheguiltiestvariety @redstarstan @justreadingfics @themistsofmyavalon @sebastianstanslefteyebrow @wkemeup @thiccbinch @glide-thru @moli1497 @ellaenchanted91 @part-time-patronus @janeyboo @jensensjaredsandmishaslover @thirstybitchqueen @xxloki81xx @stuckonjbbarnes @browngirlmagic @geeksareunique @nicoleplacee @lexshead @gambitsqueen @cake-writes

#marvel #1940s!bucky #Bucky Barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #romance #Sequel #mermaidxatxheart-writes

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agentsterling · 5 years ago

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name: Deshi middle name: Techincally Deshi isn't my real name but the middle name I use with it is Desh... Deshi Desh Deshington. gender: female star sign: Virgo height: I don't know so I usually just say 5'4'' sexuality: Sort of grey asexual? But usually just identify as heterosexual. favourite animal: Dog. Dog. Dog. Dog. DOG. But also crows. house: Ravenclaw (CAW CAW)

sleep: Um, I try for 8 hours. Doesn't always work out that way. time: 4:59 dogs or cats: DOG

grab one book nearest to you and turn to page 23. what’s line 17? 'Very soon Violette and Etienne began to talk of marriage.' - From Violette Szabo 'The life that I have' which is a great book about a real life female spy in WWII. She's basically a real life Peggy Carter. ever had a poem or a song written about you? Probably, but I can't think of many examples. I had a song commissioned for me a few years back. It's called "<3" and it's on the website songstowearpantsto.com. when was the last time you played air guitar? The last time I listened to Ninja Sex Party in the car with my husband. put your itunes whatever on shuffle. what are the first 6 songs that popped up? I don't have itunes so I'll do it to my spotify playlist I'm currently listening to. It's one of my Sterling playlists to get me in rp mood. I just haven't met you yet - Michael Buble Tell me, Tell Me Baby - N'sync Crazy little thing called love - Michael Buble Anchor - Mindy Gledhill Something Stupid - Michael Buble Sh-Boom - The Chords (My favorite version of one of my favorite songs)

Sorry, I didn't know there was so much Michael Buble on this playlist. lol It's my 'Erikson in Love' playlist. dream job: Right now? Mom. My husband and I are trying right now. why I made a tumblr: Um... Let's see. I had a personal tumblr years and years ago. I kept liking posts by someone rping as the cellist that Coulson was dating and I got a private message, in character, from Coulson telling me I was under surveillance for stalking her. I thought it was hilarious. After chatting with them for a while, I made a Steve Rogers account names soldier-out-of-time. I played him for a while and rped with a lot of SHIELD agents. I jokingly made one up as an NPC agent for the background of an rp I was doing and... I couldn't sleep that night. I just kept fleshing out his character. The next day he had a tumblr and Agent Sterling was born. Funny, I had never seen Archer when I made him so I feel sort of bad I took a good url from a potential Archer rper. lol

blankets you sleep with: 2. Normal comforter and a weighted blanket. But I'm so restless when I sleep I end up kicking the weighted one away. reasons for my url: His name is Sterling and he's an agent. It fit?

who is your celebrity crush? Easily Clark Gregg and Haley Atwell. what’s a sound you hate; sound you love? Hate: BEES. I'm TERRIFIED of bees flying in my ears... and laying eggs in my brain... My grandma told me that could happen so now whenever a bee buzzes by my ear I have an anxiety attack and cover my ears til it leaves. Love: My dog makes this noise when he yawns my husband and I call "Tiny screams".

do you believe in ghosts? Yes. how about aliens? Probably. I was super scared of them as a child. My brother told me the headlights from cars reflecting in my room at night were alien search lights and they were coming to get me. I think it’s silly to assume we are the only creatures in the universe. do you drive? I do but I have a lot of driving anxiety when going somewhere I've never been or if I have a passenger. what was the last book you read? Um... I think it was Llewellyn's Little Book of Halloween by Mickie Mueller. My friends grandmother gave it to me and it's adorable. do you like the smell of gasoline? Not really. what was the last movie you saw? I... don't remember. Wait no, maybe the first muppets movie. what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Um... I broke my arm when I was really little. More recently I got hit by a car on a cross walk and my hip did this weird popping thing for a while after and I couldn't sleep on it for a while. But I'm over that now. I jammed my wrist playing roller derby a few years back and my wrist still hurts from time to time from that so that one actually persisted the longest. do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Yes. I remember every person who has ever picked on me ever.

tagged by: @shieldshawk

tagging: @agentbrompton, @schwartzkatz, @imxthexhandler, @agecfmiracles

And anyone who wants to do this

#ooc #outoftoner #mun

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tofics · 6 years ago

Photo

Not You Again, Chapter 1

Pairing: Human!Elijah x Reader

Plot: Based on this prompt I got an idea for a two-chapter mini story in which Y/N is an event manager whose latest clients are the Mikaelsons. On the very night of an important event she suddenly runs into someone she didn’t expect at all...

Author’s note: I told you, I might end up writing, so here I am! Haha. Bare with me, I’m a bit rusty. Like I said, I plan for this to be two chapters in total, and chapter 2 is most likely going to be out very soon!

“I said a few inches to the left. Not to the right, not towards north, not towards south, but to the left. How hard can it be to follow a simple instruction?” The irritation with the incompetence incarnated into the two men in front of you clearly showed in your voice. They murmured their sorry’s and lifted the table again - only to put it down in the wrong spot, again.

“No no no no no, people, come on!” You pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration before pushing the men, both of which were apparently all muscle and no brain at all, to the side and tackling the table on your own. By some miracle (or just fueled by pure rage) you managed to push the gigantic piece of polished wood just into the right spot. Satisfied with your work, you clapped your hands together, then swirled back around to the two (not so) handymen.

“There. Was that so hard, gentlemen?” Without giving them a chance to reply, you gathered your clipboard and flipped through the lists pinned to it before giving them further instructions. “There should be five more tables just as this one waiting outside. I want them arranged just like this one. Don’t disappoint me or Bill will be hearing from me about your incapability to perform the simplest tasks. Are we clear?” The sweet smile you gave the two men was in stark contrast to the tone of your voice, which left no doubt that you were quite serious about getting them fired, should they mess up again.

The two muscle hunks hurried past you and you took the free minute to go over your checklist. Although you had at least half of the tasks ticked off, the number of things still left to do was almost impossibly long. “We can do this” you whispered to yourself. When you said we, you really meant yourself. You were a party planner, and one of the best there was in and around New Orleans, if not in all of Louisiana. You had your fair share of events under your belt and didn’t have a pristine reputation for no reason. You got shit done, no matter what it took, even if it meant that you had to be a Jack of all trades. It wasn’t uncommon to find you folding hundreds of napkins the night before a wedding or adding finishing touches to a place at 4am just to make sure that your client absolutely got what they envisioned.

This event was very important to you. The Mikaelsons were throwing a gala, which on its own wasn’t very special. They threw big events all the time, being the dramatic, extravagant and important-to-the-town family that they were, but this time, the guests in attendance would be coming in from all over the country, which meant an array of potentially new nation-wide clients. It was always important to you that you did a good job and got your clients through their important days and events without a hiccup, but this time, there was absolutely no room for fuck ups whatsoever. Tonight had to be perfect, even if you had to kill someone for it.

Which is why, when you saw the waiters stacking glasses carelessly onto the shiny shelves, leaving them standing in anything but a perfect row, you got ready to give them a piece of your mind. It was only 8am, there were roughly 150 things on your list waiting to be crossed off, and you sighed to yourself. “We can do this,” you whispered to yourself once more and hurried over to fix the glass order.

The rest of the day you hurried from one fiasco to the next, ticking off tasks one after one. The place slowly came together, presenting itself in a glowy and yet modest fashion. There was a lot of white, but not so much that you could get wedding vibes; there was a lot of dark wood and flecks of copper here and there, all of the colors nicely balancing each other out. Come dinner time, the hall would be flooded with golden light from the sun setting, turning the copper decoration pieces into a warm, rich golden color. It would be perfect, and you gave yourself an imaginary pat on the shoulder for having outdone yourself once more. The Mikaelsons were steady clients of yours and at this point only gave you a rough outline of what they wanted their events to look like; you were almost entirely free in your realization, especially when it came to color schemes and decorating. You snapped a picture of the hall and send it to Niklaus Mikaelson for confirmation. He was the one that had commissioned you to realize this gala, and within minutes, you had a response in your inbox.

Fantastic. Amazing work, like always.

You smiled to yourself about the praise and went over your list once more to see if everything was ready and in place. It was. The only thing left to do was to freshen up and get into your evening attire. It would be roughly an hour before Niklaus Mikaelson and his sister would arrive, which was plenty of time for you to get ready.

Ten minutes prior to the Mikaelson’s arrival you were ready. You had made it a habit to always be ready at least ten minutes before any of your clients arrived, and it was a habit that had never disappointed you. Those few that were early themselves appreciated it when you welcomed them, and if they were late (like most of her clients usually were), you had time to do one last round of check-ups. Waiting near the back entrance for your clients you watched the staff buzzing around, keeping an eye out for anything out of place, but nothing caught your eye. Satisfied, you glanced at your reflection in the mirrored hallway and couldn’t help but smile a little. You weren’t the type to be conceited, but there was no denying that you were really quite gorgeous. The green velvet hugged you in all the right places and when you moved your skin softly shimmered through the long slit in the fabric that went all the way up till shortly over your knee. Your Y/H/C hair hung in luscious waves over your shoulder and your sleek dark heels perfectly rounded off the look.

“Miss Y/L/N, they’re arriving.” One of the men of the staff, dressed in the snazzy suits that they had been assigned for tonight, winked at you before returning his attention back to his headset. “Tell the wardrobe guys to get ready. Guests will be arriving starting in 30 minutes.” He hurried out of sight and you straightened your gown down once more before the door to your right opened and in stepped the two Mikaelson siblings.

“Niklaus, so good to see you.” You kissed him hello on both cheeks, then did the same with Rebekah. If you looked gorgeous, then they looked like angels. He was dressed in an impeccable dark suit and she wore a black satin dress that made her look like the goddess of death herself. For the millionth time, you wondered if their beauty was in their genes or if their money had something to do with it, but either way, you had rarely seen a family that was just so... beautiful.

“Let me show you guys around. The place came together wonderfully. Follow me.” You smiled and led them towards the ceremony hall, the two siblings following close behind you.

The Mikaelsons knew how to party. And they knew how to party elegantly. That had asked you to hire Michael Buble for the night and he was putting on his best show on stage, presenting his latest album. Most of the guests were on the dancefloor, and the few that could resist Buble’s charming jazz were scattered around the hall sipping on drinks or feasting on some of the snacks that were still being brought out by the waiters. You wondered how some of them could be eating despite just having gone through a six-course menu, but then one of the waiters walked past you and you immediately understood. Just the sight of the small pastries made your mouth water and you stole one off the tray before the delicacies wandered out of your reach again.

“Enjoying yourself, love?” You hadn’t expected Niklaus Mikaelson behind you and his voice made you jump, causing half of the bite in your mouth to go down the wrong pipe. “Oh, now, careful love, we don’t want you to choke. Who else is going to put on such wonderful events for us if not you?” Niklaus laughed softly, patting you on the back while you coughed and gasped for air.

“I’m sorry sir... just had a... snack,” you wheezed until you finally felt your airway open up again.

“Not to worry dear, as always the buffet is open to you as well, but that is not why I’m here. My dear big brother just texted me telling me that he finally made it into town for our functions and informed me that he will be arriving shortly. He doesn’t enjoy the big cameras so he will be arriving as discreetly as we did. Would you be so kind and receive him?”

“Of course, sir. Right away.” Still red in the face - partly from choking, partly from being embarrassed about choking - you hurried through the corridors until you reached the back door. Niklaus and Rebekah had always mentioned that they had more siblings, all of which were somehow involved in the company, and from what you understood, the brother you were about to welcome was the one with the biggest say in the firm. Which was probably why you had never seen him before - he’d never come to any of the events you’d orchestrated for the Mikaelsons before, probably being too busy closing deals all over the world. You were a little nervous to be greeting this stranger, but also weirdly excited. You liked meeting new clients, and being the biggest fish at the corporation, he probably had some events, even if private, to throw on his own...

You were already down the deep end, caught in fantasies about throwing lavish events for this mysterious wealthy stranger when the door in front of you swung open and a handsome man stepped inside.

“Welcome, Mr Mikaelson, I’m so pleased to meet y-” Your voice hitched in your throat as you recognized his face. It was a face that you had last seen over a year ago, in a bar, shortly after your boyfriend had ditched you. That very handsome face had invited you to a drink, and you’d said yes, because what did you have to lose? And then one drink turned into three, and three turned into five, and before you knew it, you were in bed with that handsome face. That face had been between your legs. You had sat on that handsome face. Your face flushed red once more at the memory.

“What are you doing here?” You blurted out. Meanwhile, the man in front of you seized you up from head to toe, his eyes slowly wandering over your body. You could feel your skin burning where his eyes trailed along and you saw a smile spread on his face.

“Interesting, it seems I could ask you the same.” He leaned against the mirrored wall opposite you and resumed studying your appearance, his eyes roaming over you once more so shamelessly the redness in your face didn’t even get a chance to fade away.

“I’m managing this event. Care to tell me what you’re doing here, breaking in through the backdoor? This is a private event. In fact, I’m waiting for someone important. Now you either show me your invitation or I’ll have security escort you out.” You didn’t really have a reason to be so nippy, but then again, he had said he’d call you, and he never did. So there was that.

To your bewilderment, he just chuckled, amusement clearly showing on his face.

“Hello? Your invitation, please!” You held your hand out demonstratively, but he just crossed his arms, that same smug smile still on his lips.

“Alright then, have it your way.” You shook your head and started dialing the number for security on your phone when he snatched it out of your hand and smoothly slid it into his suit jacket. Before you could so much as protest, he opened his mouth to speak first.

“Remember my name, darling?”

He had some nerve. Breaking into a private function and then shamelessly flirting with you, even taking your phone away! Who did he think he was?

“I do, Elijah, but what’s that got to do with-” you started, but he interrupted you.

“I never did get to properly introduce myself that night, did I? How very rude of me. Pleased to meet you, Y/N, Elijah Mikaelson.”

He took your hand and pressed a kiss against it while the color drained from your face. Mikaelson? Did he just say Mikaelson?

“You’re - you’re Niklaus’ brother? You’re his older brother?” You stammered, suddenly feeling a hint of dread wash over you. So much for your policy of never sleeping with a client. 'But I didn’t know!’ you whined to yourself in your head. ‘Don’t matter. You fucked that one up, kiddo’ a snarky voice replied inside your brain.

“Indeed. I assume I’m the important guest you’ve been waiting for?” Elijah winked at you and you gulped.

“Hu. Yeah. You are. I had no idea that you...” you trailed off, unsure of where you were going with the sentence. Then you remembered how you had treated him so far, and that he was still, in this scenario, somehow your boss. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea. Forgive me, Mr Mikaelson. It was very inappropriate of me to accuse you of breaking and entering.” Your eyes dropped to the floor in shame, but your voice was steady, having switched into auto-professional-mode.

“Don’t worry, Y/N, it’s a pleasure to see you again. Now, why don’t you show me to my brother’s party?”

Tag list: @idkhaylijah @rissyrapp20 @hides2000 @dolans-lover @neeadinghugs @roslea @captainshurley

#elijah mikaelson #elijah mikaelson fanfic #elijah mikaelson imagine #elijah mikaelson oneshot #the originals #the originals fanfic #the originals fic #the originals imagine

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alj4890 · 6 years ago

Text

Angst Prompt

(Thomas x Amanda) Requested by @hopelessromantic1352 with the prompt: I can't do this alone.

(Thomas Hunt x oc*Amanda)

Masterlist

Inspired by the song, Lost by Michael Buble´. Takes place between Would You Kindly Calm Me Down and Lovely Scars.

A/N trigger warnings of longing for death and emotional trauma after a miscarriage. On a personal note, I suffered a miscarriage during my first pregnancy. Many of the things Thomas and Amanda express and think are what happened one night during my darkest moment with my husband. Amanda’s experience in group therapy was my own. I believe very strongly that therapy is beneficial with fighting depression, so please don’t take this as a form against it. But like everything in life, sometimes you have to search for the one that is right for you.

@alleksa16 @penguininapinktuxedo @blackcoffee85 @stopforamoment @fullbeaumonty @cocomaxley @darley1101 @hopefulmoonobject @krsnlove @annekebbphotography @gibbles82 @cora-nova @bella-ca @hopelessromantic1352 . @sunflowergirl05 @pixieferry

Lost Together

Thomas pulled into the garage and placed his head against the steering wheel. He dreaded going inside. He never knew what he would find. Ever since the bombing incident, he and Amanda were going down a road he never imagined could exist.

Her many wounds were healing save for the one to her heart. The knowledge that she had suffered a miscarriage consumed her. She was withdrawing from everyone, most especially from him. She never left the house except for the mandatory doctor's appointments. It was getting to where she was a silent ghost, wandering from one room to another.

He had tried taking her for counseling. She had sat quietly through a session and answered the questions asked of her. Thomas felt hopeful when they left and shared his feelings with her. Tears fell down her cheeks and she begged him to not make her go back. "He can't understand what it feels like." She said in a sob. "I can't go back and talk about it again."

After a few weeks, Thomas tried again and took her to a group therapy session for women who had suffered a miscarriage. That one truly upset her. When he asked her how it went, she cried so hard she made herself sick. "They can't understand, because it was my body that lost our baby. Not there's! Please, don't make me sit through another one. Please." He was unable to deny her pleas as he looked at her heartbroken face.

Now here they were. Nearly two months after the incident and she was not getting better. He took a deep breath and prayed that God would give him the words to say to her. He had been trying to not leave her alone, yet he had been forced to attend a media event. It had lasted longer than planned and he had left in the middle of it to rush back to her.

He unlocked the door and set his keys on the counter. All the lights were off. He walked toward the stairs and happened to see a glint of metal outside. It was her watch. He saw a shadowy shape on one of the pool chairs and hurried to the patio. His heart cracked seeing Amanda staring into the water made black in reflecting the night sky. Tears ran in steady streams down her face. Her knees were pulled up to her chest and her arms and chin rested on them.

Thomas knew what would happen as soon as he touched her, yet he always hoped she would turn to him and tell him what was going through her mind. He sat down behind her and placed his hand on her back. He rubbed a soothing circle as he leaned forward to ask her how long she had been outside.

Amanda wiped her cheeks and quickly moved out of reach. She said the same words she always did when he caught her like this. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to see this." She walked inside and began to go upstairs.

Thomas followed her, wishing he could comfort her. If she would only allow him to hold her, he would do so without hesitation. He stood in the doorway to their room and watched her go through her nighttime routine before walking into the bathroom. She soon came out, her actions were all on autopilot as she pulled the bedcovers back and laid down on her side. She made sure to stay on the very edge of her side of the bed.

Thomas quickly undressed and climbed in beside her. He turned the light off and watched her shoulders. He knew she was waiting to leave as soon as she suspected he was asleep. The past couple of weeks, she had left him to sleep in one of the guest bedrooms. It hurt him that she could not stand sleeping beside him, even when he made sure to not touch her.

Amanda stared at the digital alarm clock on her nightstand. A few more minutes and she could escape. She couldn't stand to be touched in comfort, pity, or even in love. She couldn't explain it to Thomas, but when he touched her it made the raw ache in her chest hurt to the point she could barely breathe from the pain.

Tears began to fall again unheeded as she thought of the call she had received earlier. Liam had wonderful news. He and Riley were going to have a baby. Amanda spoke the words one would when hearing this type of news. As the words of how happy she was for him left her lips, she wished she could feel the emotion. She wanted to be happy for them. She wanted it so much, yet the feeling never came. She didn't want them to not have a baby. She only wanted hers to be there also.

Why couldn't she have kept that? So many evil people had babies and either threw them in the garbage, abandoned them, or abused them. She and Thomas would have loved that little one with everything within them. Amanda would have gladly died for it. She wished she could. She would trade her life without a second thought just to have their baby here where he belonged.

Her shoulders shook as the tears fell faster with each thought. Thomas sat up and softly said her name. Amanda froze and cursed herself in her mind. She silently pleaded. Please don't touch me. It will make everything so much worse. Lord in Heaven, please make him go to sleep.

Thomas wrapped his arm around her and pressed a kiss to her temple.

She tried so hard to be still. The pain began to consume her body and mind. Her brain screamed in agony at the sweet gentle touches. I don't deserve such kindness from you. I couldn't protect your baby. I can't take it anymore. She scrambled out of his arms and went into their bathroom.

She locked the door and knelt down on the floor. She stretched out on the cool, ungiving stone and breathed easier. She pressed her cheek against the coldness and closed her eyes. The chill would numb her body somewhat. A few moments of blessed relief was all she asked from it. The floor had become her savior in never demanding anything from her. It offered no comfort. The only thing it failed to stop were her tormented thoughts.

Why couldn't I have died in the explosion or during surgery? Life would be so much better for everyone if I had. Thomas would be fine and no longer worried about me. He has so many others he can turn to and be willibg to look after him. All my loved ones have each other to lean on. I'm not needed. What good am I to any of them? There is nothing I do that matters in the grand scheme of things. Thomas would get over me quickly and find the perfect person, one with a body strong enough to protect his unborn child. If I could only die, all this would end and be made right. Thomas would be free. My friends would stop calling in concern. I would finally be out of pain. I could be with my baby.

She wasn't sure how long she stayed in the floor, but it had to be long enough for Thomas to be asleep. She quietly crept out and walked to the bedroom door.

"Amanda?" Thomas was sitting up in bed. He had wondered if she was ever going to leave the bathroom. His fear at the growing silence made him rise from the bed.

She bit down on her lip. Why isn't he asleep? Why won't he let me go? Not just out of the room, but why doesn't he leave me? I want to leave me. Surely he knows he doesn't have to stick around anymore.

Thomas stopped a couple of steps from her. "Where are you going?"

Amanda didn't turn around as she spoke. "I was going to sleep in one of the guestrooms. I feel kinda restless and didn't want to disturb you."

His shoulders relaxed. "You won't disturb me." He reached out and touched her arm. She turned swiftly and knocked his hand away. His eyes widened at her reaction.

Her bottom lip trembled. "I'm so sorry." She ran a hand through her hair. "I can't...I didn't mean to...I need to leave."

"Leave? Why? You don't need to." He felt a new kind of fear when she covered her face and shook with silent sobs.

She lowered her hands until they only covered her mouth. Her eyes met his and she swallowed against the lump in her throat. "I think we should get a divorce."

He took a reflexive step back. "What?! No. Amanda, what did I do? Or not do? Tell me and I will fix it!"

She shook her head. "No. You haven't done anything. You can't fix this. I...Thomas I'm what's broken. I don't think I will ever be right. I can't keep making you miserable. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy, someone who can give you children. I --"

His eyes narrowed at her words. "I didn't marry you for children! I don't care if you ever get pregnant again. I'm not divorcing you!"

She raised tear filled eyes to him. "Please leave me. I can't leave you. I've tried so many times. I packed my suitcase and couldn't make it out the door. I'll be able to leave if you will just tell me you don't want me. Please, Thomas. Please say you want a divorce."

"No." He said in a harsh tone. "I will do anything you ask, except that." He reached out and grasped her upper arms. "Don't ask me to do that." His voice cracked when her tears started falling and she began to sob out loud.

She grabbed handfuls of his shirt and shook him as she spoke. "Thomas, I can't do it anymore! I can't. I wish to God I had died that night. I want the pain to end so much. Dear Lord, why didn't I die?" She fell to her knees, crying uncontrollably.

Thomas got in the floor with her and tried his best to hold her as she was doubled over. "Why couldn't I have died that night?" She cried out as her sobs became louder.

"Because I need you." He told her while rubbing her back. He wiped his eyes and cleared his throat. "I can't do any of this alone. I would be lost if you had died." He pressed a kiss to the back of her head.

After a few moments she sat up and leaned back against the door. She looked at him, utterly exhausted from everything life had thrown at her. "That's not true. You would be fine. You would have all our friends and you would find a new love quickly. I'm of no use to you or anyone right now."

He scooted closer to her and gripped her hand. "Yes, you are." He bit out. "I need you. You are everything to me. I don't want another wife. I don't want to turn to her or our friends for anything. Only you. You are the one I need to talk to. You are the only one who understands me." He looked down at their hands and loosened his grip to lace his fingers with hers. He felt a glimmer of hope when her thumb brushed the back of his hand in comfort.

Amanda closed her eyes and tried to calm her ragged breaths. After a few moments of silence, she met his stare. "I don't think I will ever get over this."

Thomas moved to sit next to her. He tentatively wrapped his arm around her shoulders. His eyes teared up when she leaned her head against him. It had been so long since she had voluntarily touched him. He cleared his throat. "Maybe we aren't supposed to get over it."

She looked up at him, her anguish nearly causing him to crush her to him in an attempt to absorb her pain. "But the ladies of the grief group said I am supposed to. They said I shouldn't feel this strongly about it because it was barely there anyway. One woman even said it was just like a blood clot." Her tears fell again as she recalled their callous words when she had broken down and cried in front of them.

He frowned and held her closer to him. "We will do what we need to in order to endure this." He pressed his lips against her forehead. "We will take it one day at a time."

Her hopeful expression that he could possibly help crumpled. "I have been trying to take it one day at a time. It isn't working." She started to withdraw physically from him and he pulled her back.

"You were trying. This time you will have me to lean on when it gets too much for you. If day to day is too hard, then we will try hour by hour, minute by minute. Whatever you need, I will be right there with you. If you need to cry, not talk, talk, whatever you need at any time of the night or day, I will do."

"Why?" Her voice cracked. "It would so much easier on you to walk away from me."

Thomas smoothed her hair back from her face. "I love you. I can't leave you."

She let him hug her for a moment before standing up. He got to his feet and watched her go quietly into the bathroom. He heard the water running and sat down on the bed. He wiped his eyes and waited. Amanda came back out after washing her face and laid down on her side of the bed. Thomas stretched out beside her.

Once the light was off, he watched her toss and turn before settling on her side. She bit her lip and looked over her shoulder at him. "Would you hold me for a little while?" She whispered.

She gasped at how quickly he was behind her with his arm around her. Her raw ache still hurt horribly but she felt the comfort from his touch, for the first time in such a long absence, intertwined with the pain. She scooted back closer against him. As exhaustion took its toll on her, she turned her head some toward him. "I love you, Thomas."

He tenderly kissed her cheek. "I love you." He closed his eyes and thanked God that she had finally talked to him. Had turned to him. He prayed asking for the ability to help her out of the darkness that had held her captive for months.

Amanda silently thanked God for giving her Thomas. Please help us to not become lost together in the darkness."

#choices red carpet diaries #choices rcd #choices fanfic #choices thomas hunt #thomas hunt x oc #thomas hunt x amanda #writing prompt #love and angst

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halalhyungwon · 7 years ago

Note

1-100 odds

Jaz you’re a real one

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

It depends on the cereal, tbh. Some cereals I prefer a lot of milk and others I put less

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I’ve used my phone, random sheets of paper, pens/pencils, white out tape…

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

A lil bit

7: do you name your plants?

I don’t have any plants :( If i did, I probably would

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Yes, I do it constantly

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Inner joke? Like, inside joke?… I have a lot. And yet, I can’t think of one to share lmao

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

I was on the phone with my bestie for like 5hrs and I hadn’t called them in a while so that made me happy (:

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

“A total of 32 monkeys have flown in space.”

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

This shade of purple that Minseok had because it is sooo pretty. I’ve wanted to dye my hair that color for the longest time

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

I do have a journal and I used to write in it regularly but kinda stopped once I got into sophomore year of college. It was kinda my brain dump and also where I just spilled all my emotions that I never talked to anyone about

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

Favorite?? Hmmm there’s the bag my cousin bought me for my high school prom. It’s cute and small and white and going over your shoulder. I don’t use it much but I’m still happy to have it.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

watch exo and seventeen make fools of themselves lmao

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

I don’t recall breaking into anywhere…but I remember one summer my brother and I went for a walk to a school in my cousin’s neighborhood and an alarm went off and scared tf out of us

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

wintermint (?) i think it’s called

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

One of my friends has this pack of cards that says “I LOVE YOU BECAUSE” and then it has a bunch of bullet points for different reasons you could love someone. She gave me one sophomore year and another one just recently and honestly it’s so sweet

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

Socks and I…we acknowledge each other’s existence and hang out when we need to. I only where socks with my sneakers and boots, and when it’s really cold. I cannot where socks all day. Like it’s impossible. When I wear socks I just feel hyper aware of the fact that there is cloth on my feet and it makes me uncomfortable. I can’t go to sleep with socks on, unless I’m extremely tired and just fell asleep. Even then, I’ll wake up with my socks kicked off in the morning.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

Most recently! My friend and I were trying to observe the meteor shower last weekend. And like the thing is for the first hour or so we didn’t see any and kept trying to find the best place to observe them. Then, I finally saw one, but it was right when my friend was looking down so she didn’t get to see it! And then, another hour or so passes and it just seems like we’re never gonna see another one, so we decide to head back to our dorms. BUt, on the way back we find a spot that would be just perfect to see them, so we just loitered there for almost another hour, jammin to music and just waiting to see some shooting stars! And then the next one comes but it happens right as I’m looking at my friend to talk to her, but she’s looking up so she gets to see it. After that some time passes and it’s already 3:30 a.m. and I’m tired and lowkey gotta pee, so we start making our way back to the dorms again. And then we find another spot that would be good viewing, so we chill there for a while because, though we’ve both seen a shooting star, we haven’t see one together. So we’re standing there, chillin, being goofs and listening to trap remixes of the Wii theme, when we both look up and go “OH!!!” and freak out bc we finally saw another shooting star and it was just great.

(I realized I answered this even tho it’s not odd but i’m just gonna keep it bc i love it too much)

33: what’s your fave pastry?

do cinnamon rolls count as pastries?…i could really go for one…

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

Yes I do!! But I don’t have many :(( Part of me wants to buy a big set but like I already have a bunch of pens and notebooks (but they arent all aesthetic and pretty and stuff) and I also think i’d stop using them after a week or so

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

I like having a neat room (I cleaned my room today I’m so happy, it looks so spacious)

39: what color do you wear the most?

Black, probably

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

I don’t read often but I think the last book I really enjoyed … Howl’s Moving Castle

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

@batmanlemonade hey ;) [see #32]

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

No? maybe? idk

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

pickles…

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

I wishhh I could just buy all the cd’s i’ve ever wanted. If I had more money I probably would have a nice collection. The last CD i’ve bought was back in high school and I think it was OneRepublic’s Native album

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

My little brother… whenever i hear transformer, touch it, monster or kkb I think about him bc those are his favorite exo songs loll

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

I don’t think I’ve watched any of these but beetlejuice, and I love beetlejuice

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

I scrolled through my kyungsoo tag for a good hour or so to prove to my friend how much i love him sfdjkl; that’s not very dramatic but it’s the first thing I thought of. She really didn’t question that I loved him, I just love any excuse to look through my tags

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

bohemian rhapsody is a classic sfkl; um it always reminds me of my childhood bc my brothers and i used to watch these animated videos and one of them was of bohemian rhapsody but with megaman characters lmao

59: what’s your favorite myth?

UHmmm I really don’t know lol sorry

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

In sophomore year I wanted to buy my roommate her favorite flavor of ice cream but I didn’t have money so I drew ice cream on a post-it note for her I can’t think of a stupid gift I’ve received…

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

lol no, i just let ‘em be. they’re chillin

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

my cousin who’s in med school, I haven’t seen her in too long :c

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

I kinda like those days. If I’m in a good mood, gray skies, cool breezes and light rain make me feel better. Otherwise, it’s just meh.

69: what are your favorite board games?

There’s this Korean board game that I can’t remember the name of for the life of me, and tbh since I haven’t played it in a while I don’t remember the exact rules, but it’s kinda of like Sorry! I’ve only played it twice but it was really fun both times

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

Chai

73: what are some of your worst habits?

putting myself down and procrastinating

75: tell us about your pets!

I don’t have any :-( I’ve been really wanting a cat lately

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

Pink~

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

Hmmm when I was in high school I reeeally loved Michael Buble (I still do, have you heard that man’s voice?) so for Valentine’s day, my friend got me this box and taped his face on the top lmaoo with a reference to one of his song lyrics. The box was filled with flowers and chocolate and gum (but at the time I had braces so i couldn’t even chew the gum lolll)

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

I really wish I could but I’m not creative and this headache I have isn’t helping safhjlk sorry

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

I really like the cover for 1R’s Native album, and also p!atd’s too weird to live too rare to die

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

Not really, but I’d like to

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Howl’s Moving Castle, Room No 7 starring Do Kyungsoo, coming out November 15 and..I can’t really think of another one

89: are you close to your parents?

Kinda sorta

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

i have no plans to travel :(

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

My hair in it’s natural state lol covered by my hijab

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

Chillin! I was supposed to lock myself up in my room and finally watch the exo and seventeen concerts I have downloaded but i haven’t gotten around to watching them yet. But I have been chillin in my room so it’s been alright

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infp, scorpio, and i have no idea

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

UHhhmmm Call Me Baby and Heaven by EXO; Healing and Don’t Listen in Secret by Seventeen; Hug Me by Jung Joon Il

#this took a whiiiiiiiiiile lmao #thanks #<333 #ask:replied

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ajourneys · 5 years ago

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You and Me VS The World, No More.

We hurt each other even in silent. We don’t need to say the words, our eyes were filled with pain already. Maybe it was love. Maybe it was lust. And maybe what hurt the most was the high expectation. The way we hurt each other just to show how we loved each other was tiring, wasn’t it? Memories fade as time goes by or gone, just like that, with no trace. But we always remember how it hurt. I hurt you. You hurt me more. Then we said goodbye when all we wanted to say was ‘forgive me’.The ego has landed. I wanted to say ‘please stay’ but the words froze in my brain, leave me wondering: what did we do wrong? Maybe you will never know that… I’m falling endlessly. I’m falling hopelessly. You’re not there to catch me.

When you hugged me, it felt like I’ll always be alright. Now that you left, it feels like nothing will ever be okay. For example, I can never listen to Michael Buble anymore. His Home hurts too much since you’re not the home anymore. And you know what? I am never alone. Not when the thoughts of you always haunting me. I am never alone, but I am lonely. If only the ‘i love you’ is enough, we wouldn’t have to fear the night. Darkness is scary when you’re lonely.

Sometimes, many times late at night, these thoughts crossed my mind, that our love was like the burning cigarette. It didn’t last that long, and filled with poison. I’m addicted to it. And when I said I’m addicted to you, it means I’m addicted to love and the pain it brings. Even the falling leaf reminds me of us. We are that leaf. Fragile and falling hopelessly, inevitable.

And so I tried to runaway. But every road and street i ran to, always bring me back to the thought of you. I travel to forget us. But every city I go, I can only imagine sharing the view with you, while holding your hand. Every street, every road, every coffee shops remind me of you. I hide inside my heart, and you’re there too. You know what hurts the most? You’re happier with her than with me. It makes me think I’m not worth a penny. And, I remember how we talked about our future together. We did it often. Now you’re talking about the future with someone else.

I watched the sun set the other day, and I remembered when you whispered softly to my ear, that you loved me. You remember how we used to fight when i throw my towel everywhere? I’m doing it again, hoping you’d yell at me. Why didn’t you bring your love along when you left? Why did you have to leave it here and bleed me dry? No. That’s wrong. We bleed each other dry. We made each other cry. We were two fools in love. How I hope we still are. And maybe you already know this: Before you, healing a broken heart was as easy as one two three.

You don’t need to hate me for what I’ve done. I’m doing it right now. My heart is not broken. It’s no longer there. You took it with you when you left. I am an empty shell. I was there. You didn’t even care. At least I was there, and I saw your face. And that’s enough. If only i can read your mind, maybe i could make you stay. The only question ringing in my mind right now is: why do we hurt the one we care the most? No one has the answer.

Can we turn back the time? I want to freeze the moment you’re smiling at me. Or if i run to the wall and hit my head really hard, will it stop the pain of missing you? Look how pathetic I am now. I am crying. No, I’m not crying because I miss you so. I’m crying because i secretly hope the tears will wash away the pain.

You used to say ‘you and me versus the world, okay?’ Guess what? Now i’m alone against the world.

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ravengirl94 · 7 years ago

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okay my girl you asked for it. 1, 3, 4, 16, 20, 45, & 51?? 💕💕

Goodness, so many, I love it!

1. Put your itunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up

Okay, so my itunes is super old because I’ve been using spotify, which is all new stuff, so I’ll do both?

Itunes: Take Me There (Rascal Flatts), Slice (Five For Fighting), Everybody Talks (Neon Trees), Shining Star (Earth Wind and Fire), Misery (Maroon 5), 25 Or 6 To 4 (Chicago)

Spotify: Heartache on the Dance Floor (Jon Pardi), Parachute (Chris Stapleton), What Ifs (Kane Brown & Lauren Alaina), Nobody But Me (Michael Buble), Simple Man (Jensen Ackles), Crazy Girl (Eli Young Band)

3. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17

So I did this with the book closest to me, so I’ll go for second closest now, which is To Kill a Mockingbird: “Jem said, ‘Our daddy’s a friend of your daddy’s. Scout here, she’s crazy - she won’t fight you any more.’”

4. What do you think about most?

Oh jeez... um... it’s probably a tie between Jensen/Dean, horses and the future. If I had to say one, probably the future because it’s scaring the bajeezus out of me right now.

16. Do you have a collection of anything?

I have a whole bunch of sea glass, every book Sarah J Maas and Maggie Stiefvater have written, and I think every marvel movie.

20. Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Ghosts... hmm... sometimes, maybe. My biology major brain says absolutely not, but sometimes you just get these feelings in places, you know? I saw a lot of creepy shit at my last job, and I’m convinced that building was haunted. Aliens, absolutely. Not like the green martian aliens. But it’s ridiculous to think that there isn’t other life somewhere in the entire universe.

45. How can I win your heart?

Ha. Well. At first, putting up with my sass and snark and general April-Ludgate attitude. And after that, loyalty, all the way. I don’t trust easily, so proving repeatedly that you’ve got my back is a sure fire way to win me over.

51. What is your current desktop picture?

Boring. Flowers. Came with the computer. I hate it and now because of this question I might actually change it.

Ask Me Unique Questions

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aplaceforrtprompts · 8 years ago

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Fresh Eyes: Chapter 5

A/N: Sorry this one is so short. I just felt like so sweet as is and didn’t want to add anything unneeded. Some action in the next one though. I promise. :)

Chapters: ::One:: ::Two:: ::Three:: ::Four::

Pairing: Blaine G x Reader

Word Count: 684/4,909

Song: Everything - Michael Buble

“Motherfucker,” you groaned as your head pounded. You just wanted to roll over and go back to sleep but your head felt like someone squeezing on it. You heard a chuckle and you raised your middle finger in a general direction.

Blaine just laughed but you could he was trying hard not to be too loud, “Painkillers and water are on the coffee table and pancakes are almost done.”

You shot up and groaned again clutching your head. After the wave of pain subsided you blinked a few times to adjust to the light. “Did you saw pancakes?” you croaked. “You never make pancakes. Did we fuck?”

Blaine choked on the air and spun around towards you with a chuckle, “W-what?”

“Why are you making pancakes? What did I do? How bad is it?” your brain was trying to recall last night but it was fuzz and blackness after you demanded to dance.

“I figured you’d feel miserable after you pounded all those drinks last night. Figured I’d give you a good morning,” Blaine explained.

You narrowed your eyes at him but he just continued to make pancakes so you turned and took the painkillers waiting for you. You smoothed your hair down as best you could before going to stand but Blaine hurried over and handed you a plate.

“You're honestly a godsend,” you shook your head as you accepted the food then scooted over and pat the spot next to you. “Thank you for letting me crash on your couch by the way.”

“Anytime. I would have let you have the bed but you insisted on the couch,” Blaine explained.

“Drunk me loves couches. I’d love to know why since hungover me does not. I know I owe you for taking care of my ass so lunch is on my since you have breakfast covered,” you held up your forkful of pancakes before taking a bite.

Blaine laughed, “I think you may have to rain check that considering it's almost two.”

“Is it?” you reached over for your phone and saw he was right, “Shit. Looks like I had fun on twitter too. I’ll save that for later. So dinner is on me then. Delivery from wherever your heart desires since I can’t cook.”

“Oh, come on you can cook fine,” Blaine argued.

“Okay. Maybe I can cook but my ass is lazy,” you shrugged.

After you finished you pancakes you went back to your own apartment and showered before texting Blaine to come over for movies and games until dinner.

“What would you do without me?” Blaine asked as you laid across his lap as a Disney movie played across the screen and he munched on some Home Slice.

“Probably watch a lot less Star Wars,” you joked turning in his lap to face him better.

Blaine smiled down at you, “Really though. What if one of us didn’t watch Red Vs Blue then think that’s cool I want to work for that company. What if one of us never signed up to be guardians? What if one of us didn’t work at Rooster Teeth?”

You closed your eyes musing over the thought, “I don’t know. You’re my best friend. I love Chris and Josh and Aaron but I don’t think I could ever have a bond like we do. We just sort of click and always have. I’d still have fun at Rooster Teeth but I don’t know if it would be the dream job I always thought it was without you there by my side. Although if I was the one who missed the RVB train then I’d be a millionaire by now. I’d make some million dollar app rather than million dollars but.”

“Oh, yeah,” Blaine poked your side, “What fancy app would you make? Miss locked myself out of my own phone.”

You poked Blaine right back, “We’ll never know since I skipped half my computer classes to make stupid videos with you.”

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m glad though that we met. It wouldn’t be the same without you either,” he smiled down softly at you.

[Chapter Six]

#BlaineG #Ragehappy #reader insert #rt reader insert #rt imagine #FE

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joecontrolshimself · 6 years ago

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Feed the birds, tuppence a bag

Okay this is gonna be a really long post I think. It’s just a story about something kinda cool that happened to me last year. Not a typical “lead up to a punch line” one, but you can still skip down and read the end if you don’t believe me. The “too long did, not read” version is that birds communicated with me in a very strange way that made me feel spiritually connected to the Earth (and I won’t comment much on it, but kind of also lead a bit to my craziness on here almost exactly a year ago now, which I half want to flesh out and half don’t).

Here’s the setup, and I don’t know if it even pertains to or correlates with what happens, but it’s worth mentioning:

After that already long introduction, I’ll preface this by saying that I have developed over the years a fascination with birds in general. Always have found them to be almost mystical, in that they live around humans, in such masses, in a way that no other wild animal does. So one day I’ll say a couple of years ago, I was living in a studio apartment in a business section of a suburban town, and I had food that was going bad. In a fit of “save the Earth” passion, I thought I would make it available to the birds. And I started making it a regular routine. I would take extra food that I made and had no use for, and I’d spread it around the ground in the back of my apartment’s property, thinking that the birds could take it or leave it. On an occasion or two, I lived next door to a bakery, and I’d see the birds trying to get to the tossed goods in the dumpster, and I’d get the top layer out for them and throw it in the back of the property, abandoned railroad tracks. It escalated to a point where I was like that’s a bit ridiculous, so in the supermarket I just picked up a bag of bird seed and started feeding them a few handfuls every day or so. This went on for a few months, I guess.

Then I decided to go on my “road trip” or whatever you want to call it, because I only made it to a couple states before I made some bad decisions and went off the rails. But before all that, it was lovely. And this is where the real story starts, in Bennington, Vermont.

To start, part of my road trip was taking time for the first time in my life to learn a musical instrument. I bought this awesome mandolin before I left, learned a song or two and was having the time of my life playing around with it. I was in Bennington cruising around for a good spot to practice. I happened upon the grounds of a high school, empty because it was summer, and far away from mostly everything. There was also a covered pavilion there with benches.

I parked and walked up to the pavilion, and there was also a greenhouse right next to it. Turns out, there was someone working inside of it. His name was Frank, and he was really cool. He told me the greenhouse was the only one of its kind in the state I think (connected to a school) and it was mostly for at-risk students to help them get some hands-on learning, yadda yadda. He saw my mandolin, and turns out he used to play it! He taught me some very quick, very basic stuff about chords and just about learning music in general, and then took me inside the greenhouse and taught me things about the plants he was growing. We hung out for maybe an hour or two, and he mentioned he was going on vacation with his family for a week, so I was like cool, I can practice at this spot with no one really around. Didn’t think that he would have someone check in on the plants, I never ran into them so that’s a moot point, but that’s how little I was thinking ahead at the time just for context.

Now the next day I show up to the pavilion, and about 15 minutes into practicing, torrential, sideways rain comes out of nowhere, and I’m not protected, even under the pavilion’s roof. I make a mad dash for the greenhouse and take shelter. I take a look at the plants when a thought pops into my head “Hey, they always say talking to plants is good for growth, what if I sing to them while I wait for the rain to stop?” I decided to put on a concert of Frank Sinatra and Michael Buble songs, since I knew those the best and were the most upbeat. I had a good time belting out those standards, man. The rain stopped and I had other places to be, so I took off.

That greenhouse became my go-to spot because I had so much fun in there the first time. I think I went back one more day and sang, and then the next day is when the birds become relevant. Now keep in mind, that while in Bennington and the surrounding area, I had a bag of bird seed and had been leaving little piles of it everywhere I went whenever I saw a cluster of birds. So I don’t know if this all came about because I had a reputation with them, but again, think it’s worth mentioning.

Okay so finally, here’s the meat of the story. I’m in the greenhouse with my mandolin, a notebook, and my phone. I make a promise to myself “You are not leaving this greenhouse until you have fully learned a new song.” This detail is a bit irrelevant, but I’ll throw it in here why not. I was on a bit of an anti-Trump kick. I decided to try to learn “Something Wicked This Way Comes” from Harry Potter because Trump was gaining political steam as his regime was settling in and I thought I’d soon make this, like, share-able, hopefully viral, (ridiculous!) video of me performing it and somehow linking it to Trump. Stupid, I know! Whatever. I shouldn’t have said that, I shouldn’t have said that. Anyway.

No lie, about 5 minutes into getting ready to do this thing, the worst thing happens. I have to take a shit. Badly. And I mean, I’m nowhere near a public bathroom, and my calculations were slim that I was gonna make it to one. So I started looking for other options. I think I saw a shovel and I was like okay I’ll take a shit in the woods close by, cover it up, all I need is TP I guess, but I’m running out of time and kinda freaking out.

That’s when “it” happened. No, I didn’t shit myself. Disclaimer, I am 95% sure I didn’t hallucinate this. There’s just no way. But I mean, it could be possible. But this is where the birds came to save the day. As I’m pacing and stuck with my dilemma, two birds crash landed into the greenhouse from I think holes in the sides of the greenhouse where the wall met the roof, I don’t remember. I was thrown off, until my attention was brought to this thumping noise that I couldn’t see. I went to inspect further, and I kid you not, one of the birds is kinda slapping himself into this silver, like, kind of a tub, thing. It had handles, looked like it was used for carrying water or soil or something. I still remember seeing the bird’s wing print on the dust of the tub, it was propped against a table in the corner of the greenhouse.

Then the other bird starts making a noise. I follow that. The bird is on the very edge of the greenhouse wall, and once it has my attention, it hops along the edge of the wall to the other corner of the greenhouse and stops right in front of what turns out to be a hose. It took me a while I think to put 2 and 2 together, but I realized to handle my DIRE poop problem, I could fill the tub with water, poop in it, and then dump it in the woods, like a makeshift, portable toilet. Then wash it out and everything. I know, I’m a savage, but desperate times. As soon as I realized this, the birds exited the greenhouse. I’m not pulling your leg on any of this. This is impossible to make up for a person like me.

And the best part, I think, is that I shit you not, no pun intended, but as soon as I had a solution to the shits, I didn’t have to go anymore. The need to go was gone, just like that. So immediately this gratitude sunk in and then this flood of thoughts started filling my brain to try to teach myself a lesson from it all. Because in a sense, when I really needed to go, and had no place to go, I needed to go that much more. But when I had a place to go, I didn’t need to go anymore. Wild.

I’ll be honest, this is out of left field, but the first thing I thought of was that it was a perfect metaphor for why a person is usually more confident in a healthy relationship, and even why men end up having affairs. Because when they don’t have anybody, there are those that are more…not desperate…but have more of an urge, to make things work. And when they’re in a relationship, they don’t sweat much because they have something to fall back on. And other women are attracted to that I don’t give a shit mentality. I don’t know if that makes sense, if you’ve made it this far congratulations you get to learn the little-known fact that I was diagnosed as bipolar after my mess last year and one of the symptoms was going on strange tangents.

Getting as back on topic as I can…after the birds left, and I didn’t need to take a shit anymore, I practiced the song for a few hours and left. Then life got in the way and I moved on to other things without completing my project (another symptom of bipolar), but I did keep up with the mandolin for a while (until someone STOLE IT! Still mad, it was a beautiful friend to me.)

I could go on about how all of a sudden I felt more connected to the world and over the next few months with all my experiences, I started thinking I was this naturopath wizard or spiritual guru who was going to be the next Prince Ea or something, and how I started becoming “pronoid”, which means “paranoid, but positive” and interpreting every little thing as “signs” which ultimately lead to me posting cryptic shit and being diagnosed, but I think I just summed it up quite nicely just there now.

So there you have it. I had the weirdest interaction with birds, these creatures that I thought barely gave a fuck about humans, and that, hey, I could have totally misinterpreted and they were just two dumb assholes that had nothing to do with me except pure coincidence, or I could have hallucinated it all. But as I said, there you have it. Just wanted to get that story off my chest, I felt like I had to put it out there, even a year later, because I’ve been so nervous to talk about things that went down last year and I’m just downright lazy to type this all out. But even if one person reads this and is like “Hmm…interesting”, then I’ll be happy. If you made it this far, I think I’ve said it before on long posts, but thank you very much for your time, I hope you didn’t feel it was a waste. And as several famous Instagram models put it “I’ll prob delete this later”, but for now, thank you again.

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anoldwound · 8 years ago

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Harmonium - Zach/Sendhil [RPS]

Title: Harmonium Characters/Pairings: Zach/Sendhil Rating: PG-13 Warnings: None Word Count: 1864 Summary: It had been a little more than a year since he first realized that he harbored some weird kind of affection for Zach -- and not your typical friendly affection, the other kind, the dangerous kind -- and the feelings had evolved somewhat. Disclaimer: I am, of course, in no way insinuating that any of this is real. This is entirely fictional, and Zach and Sendhil are merely my puppets are being treated as fictional characters. Plz no sue kthnx. A/N: This is the final installment in my little Zach/Sendhil trilogy, the other two of which can be found here and here, although it's not necessary to have read those. This is also a charity fic for doctor_caduceus. Hope you like! Zach was… different. Something inside him had metamorphosed during the extended hiatus, while he was filming the Star Trek movie, as he began fully appreciating the celebrity that he had and would have even more of soon. He was still a nice guy, of course. He was just different now, somehow. Sendhil felt different himself. It had been a little more than a year since he first realized that he harbored some weird kind of affection for Zach -- and not your typical friendly affection, the other kind, the dangerous kind -- and the feelings had evolved somewhat. Instead of a chaotic panic, it was now more of a quiet thing, something that didn’t seem like such a big deal, even though it was. He just liked to pretend it wasn’t. And, in his own private world, it wasn’t a problem, and he and Zach were able to frolic together through meadows while singing the score to The Sound of Music while Olga giggled at their homo antics. It was a nice little fantasy. Sendhil peered out of his trailer window and saw Zach laughing with Hayden over by the crafts table. He smirked slightly to himself. Milo then came over and gave Hayden a quick peck on the cheek, his hand on the small of her back, and Sendhil felt a flare of jealousy in his chest -- he wasn’t jealous of them, exactly, he just sort of wished it was him and Zach instead, and that thought sent up a wave of guilt. It was an annoying cycle that had become pretty routine by this point. He used to beat himself up over it at night, tossing and turning under the sheets in the bed he shared with Olga His Wife, the guilt eating away at his brain. He knew he shouldn’t feel so terrible -- it was perfectly normal and okay to get crushes on other people when you were married, so long as you never acted on it. Which he was not going to do. Not that it wouldn’t be easy enough… he was sure that if he just said the word, Zach would come running, and it was incredibly tempting, although he still never did it. But fuck if he didn’t really, really want to. He also knew, though, that he could never actually do it. Not only would it completely destroy his marriage, it would ruin the friendship he already had with Zach, he would possibly do damage to his career… and his family, he couldn’t just betray them because he was lusting after someone he worked with. And yeah, that was another thing, he worked with Zach. It would be completely inappropriate and… “Sendhil!” He blinked, startled; Zach was calling his name and waving to him from outside. He was wearing that ridiculous purple hoodie that made him more like a ‘mo than even Sendhil could have imagined. He opened his window. “Yeah, what, loser?” Sendhil called back. “You looked so wistful! It was really weird! Get out here!” Sendhil rolled his eyes good-naturedly and slammed the window shut. He was glad that he was able to keep things relatively normal with Zach, except for those times when they brushed against each other accidentally and Sendhil felt a chill go up his spine and he was certain you could see it in his eyes. “I need a ride to the grocery store,” Zach said as Sendhil came trotting outside. “My driver’s gone AWOL, so can you give me a lift?” “Sure,” said Sendhil, not even pausing to consider it. “You need to go right now?” “Yeah. I am in very desperate need of mac and cheese.” “You don’t have any in your trailer?” Milo asked, eyebrow raised. “I ate the last of it a couple minutes ago.” “Then why do you need more now?” “I just do, okay! Gosh, Mi,” Zach said, smiling. “Whatever. Have a great time, guys,” said Milo, when Hayden whispered something in his ear and he turned away from them. On the way to the car, Sendhil accidentally stepped in some sort of gooey substance that held him immobile for several moments, until he managed to yank himself out of it. --- “You know what’s really hilarious?” asked Zach as they crawled slowly down the street. Damn L.A. traffic. “What?” “I actually don’t have to go to the grocery store.” “Um.” He got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. “Okay. Why are we driving, then?” “I had ulterior motives. I needed to get you alone.” Zach adjusted the rearview mirror, angling it more towards himself. “‘Alone’?” Sendhil smirked jokingly. “Are you planning to rape me while I’m driving? That’s kind of dangerous, you know. You could get us killed.” He put the rearview mirror back in its original position. “Can we keep the mirror there? Thanks.” “Be serious. I needed to talk to you about something in private.” “Well, what’d you need to talk about?” Sendhil fiddled with the mirror nervously. “About…” Zach swallowed and looked out the window. “I mean. You must know.” “Know what?” Oh dear God. This conversation wasn’t happening. It wasn’t. “I’ve…” Zach looked down at his hands, then peered cautiously up at him. “I’ve, well, kind of had a crush on you for a while. Uh, sorry.” Sendhil didn’t say anything. His skin felt like ice, and he gripped the steering wheel tighter. Zach brought the mirror to himself again and flicked his hair out of his eyes, then adjusted it back to somewhere near its original position, but it wasn’t the same. “Sendhil?” “Yeah?” “Are you mad?” “Mad? No, I’m not mad!” He looked at him disbelievingly for a second, then quickly jerked his head back to the front, unable to look Zach in the eyes. “Of course I’m not mad.” “What are you, then?” “I just… I don’t understand why you’re telling me this.” “Because I’m tired of lying to you. Tired of lying to myself.” “But what was the point? Did you seriously think something was going to happen or what?” “Of course I didn’t -- I thought you said you weren’t mad!” “I’m not! I’m just --” He took a deep breath. Traffic inched forward a little. “I’m just confused. Really, really confused.” “There’s nothing to be confused about. It’s pretty simple, really,” said Zach, trying to lighten the mood, but the car now had a sinister black cloud above it, and not even Zach was going to be able to get rid of it now. “Is it?” Sendhil snapped, finally turning towards him. “Is it simple? Because I don’t think it is. I’ve been turning it over and over in my mind for months and I don’t see anything simple about it at all. Not one little speck of it is ‘simple’.” Zach’s brows furrowed. “Wait… what the hell are you talking about? How have you been turning it in your head for months? Turning what in your head?” Realizing he’d said too much, Sendhil faced the road again. “Nothing,” he mumbled, and turned the radio on. “You already knew that I --?” “Let’s just drop it, Zach, okay? Just… pretend this conversation never happened.” He turned up the volume, Michael Buble blasting through the speakers. “No!” Zach angrily turned the volume down. “We’re talking about this. I don’t want things to be weird between us.” “Well, you’re a bit late for that! Months and months too late! Actually, a whole year too late!” “Would you shut the hell up and tell me what the fuck you’re talking about already, for fuck’s sake?” “I think I do too, all right?” “Think you do what?” “That I have some kind of weird crush on you too, man!” There was a horrible silence in the car then, the kind of silence that made your ears ring. “What?” Zach asked quietly. “Don’t ask me. I don’t fucking know.” Sendhil turned the volume back up and slumped down in his seat, hand on his forehead. Zach stared at him for several seconds, then settled back in his seat, his arms crossed. He looked… amazed. “Seriously? You’re not just joking around?” “I wish I was.” More silence. Sendhil hated this stupid traffic. He just wanted to turn around and go back to the set and then everything would be back to normal, so long as he didn’t have to stay in this stupid car anymore. “So… what do we do now?” Zach asked. “Well, the fun answer is we make out.” Zach laughed, and the air didn’t seem as tense. “Seriously.” “I really have no idea. Honestly, though? I just want to forget any of this ever happened.” “Because you know nothing’s ever going to be the same again, right?” Sendhil nodded. “I think it’ll be okay. I don’t think it’s gonna be as weird you think.” “Really? What makes you say that?” “This kind of thing… it’s happened to me before. Several times, actually. Get a crush on a married guy…” He coughed. “Most of the time I never told them, though. And they usually never reciprocated. But one time, he did, and we started a relationship, and that’s actually when things got weird, because we had to keep it a secret, which was kinda fun at first, but then it was always with the wife and the guilt and knowing that we could never be in a real relationship… the times I told the guy and my feelings weren’t returned and we stayed friends weren’t anywhere near as weird as that. It was better that way, I think. Except for the lack of sex.” “Dude, you ramble like a champion.” “I do, don’t I? I practice in front of the mirror a lot.” They chuckled, and Zach shoved his shoulder playfully. “You see?” he said. “We can still be friends. It’ll be strange at first, but after a while… it won’t be.” Sendhil smiled, but he remained uneasy. He didn’t see how it could ever be normal between them again -- if things had ever been normal -- but he supposed they would have to fake it until they made it. He was not going to lose his friendship with Zach because of this. He didn’t want to lose that, ever. Finally, traffic eased up, and Sendhil was able to turn back around towards the set. He opened the windows and let the breeze come in. He felt the wind ripple through his hair, and leaned his neck back slightly, letting it waft over him. Zach was staring at him, an odd and indecipherable look in his eyes. “What?” Sendhil asked, tittering nervously. “You’re just so --” He started to say, then broke off suddenly. “Uh, nothing. Sorry.” He cast his eyes downward and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Sendhil looked over at him, and felt his heart expand in a very strange way. He kind of half-smiled, and rested his hand on Zach’s shoulder, then turned back to the road. He felt Zach’s hand rest on his, and they drove back the rest of the way just like that, sharing a harmony with each other. It wasn’t enough, but it would do.

#fandom: rps #ship: zach/sendhil

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