#i said it last night but im glad that guy blocked me bc its a like

[plaquerat]

i have to call medicaid so i can change my insurance to something that accepts my therapy office and then i can go to therapy weekly and i can stop having the most bizarre breakdowns imaginable. i want to be offline so bad fellas.

[hes-writer]

A Cheat IV

How about when y/n is engaged with her boyfriend and how happy she is with her life but harry is still miserable. He misses her so much that he begs her to take him back, like literally begging. He tells her that he’ll do anything bc it hurts him to see her getting married with someone else. But y/n isn’t having any of it so she tells him “you already took my heart for granted and left me broken. But now i finally found my happiness again, you’re going to take that away from me too?”

Summary: Harry cheats, Y/N is happy

Warnings: angst

Word count: 3.6k

“That’s what I hoped and gee thanks, have fun with yours too if you ever get over me,”  Harry smirk at her menacingly.

She rolls her eyes, burning from the tears she held back. She remains strong.

“Don’t worry, I will.”

Y/N couldn’t believe how well things have been going for her. In the past eight months after her and Harry’s horrid conclusion to their relationship, Y/N had finally graduated from university after four grueling years of late nights and caffeine coursing through her system. She had gotten a puppy—something that she’d always wanted, but never took the initiative to get one. After tossing her cap in the air during the ceremony with Alan beside her, she was offered a job at a well-known law firm only a few weeks after. Everything is going great.

Not a few days ago, Alan had proposed to her and the engagement ring on her pinky finger was proof of a powering relationship, glimmering against the light of her wooden work desk serving as a backdrop. She smiles to herself, thinking how things finally turned around for her. One of her coworkers passes by, noticing the jewelry adorning her finger and stops to eye her suspiciously, a smile stretching over her face before squealing as Y/N nods shyly. She congratulates Y/N before walking away to her own table.

Y/N’s phone ‘dings’.

Alan

“hey babe, im cooking dinner tonight

what do u want? :))))”

She sighs with satisfaction, having someone supporting her through everything made her feel wanted. Alan is the perfect match for her. Regardless of dating for only six months (they've known each other since high school), he’s been a sturdy shoulder to lean on during the past two where she altered between crying over Harry or being a strong, independent woman that has had enough of being treated like shit. When he asked her out, granted a bit timidly since he wasn’t exactly sure if she was ready to move on, she hesitated but she trusts Alan. She also told herself that not all men are like Harry.

-----

Irene and Harry’s relationship didn’t last long after Y/N caught them in the bathroom. Actually, it ended not too long after. Since Harry’s attention was focused solely on her, Irene took advantage of that and asked him to purchase her a bunch of things that she ‘probably didn’t need’, Harry thinks. I mean, did she honestly need four of the same bags in different colours? Or having Harry book five-star restaurants around the city to celebrate Irene's friend's brother-in-laws birthday? Ridiculous. The price didn’t bother him as he had enough money to buy an island, but hearing her talk his ear off about a new Versace handbag or the recent fall line of Jimmy Choo heels that she just had to get her hands on; he’s had enough. Before officially officially splitting from Y/N, Irene had asked him to buy her stuff, sure, but it used to be minute things like a new perfume or some brand-name makeup. But now, it’s as if she thought her name was titled to Harry’s earnings, threatening to break up with him if he didn’t comply.

At first, he gave in to everything, mistaking the fear of Irene leaving him as something he was deathly afraid of. But now, realizing that the feelings he held for were nothing but sexual infatuation, something exciting and thrilling in his life. Now that he had nothing to hide, his life was giving an off vibe–yearning for Y/N’s presence. Yes, Harry missed Y/N.

He first felt a twinge in his heart in that bathroom, slowly but surely, it kept coming back stronger and more frequently. It happened especially before bed, when Y/N would usually speak to him about her day or ask him about his, or even caress him with gentle touches to calm him before sleeping, he misses her gestures that he only thought of as pestering and nagging during the last few months, but really it was nothing more than actions of love and concern. Irene never gave him a second glance, she cuddled into his chest, manicured razor sharp nails scratching his chest as if to be done as a calming notion, but Harry feels it as a burning sensation that urged him to shift uncomfortably from the woman beside him.

Irene was different from Y/N, stating the obvious. Y/N cleaned the house routinely, cooked the most flavourful dishes, and stocked the kitchen and bathroom with supplies efficiently. Harry believes in splitting the workload and chores between people who lived in the house –which was both of them– but Y/N took special charge in the household activities, saying that Harry needs his rest after being busy the whole day. He feels like a jerk sometimes knowing that she was stressed too, yet she continues to work harder than anyone he’d ever met. Besides that, his comparison was that Irene was rather unforgiving with chores. She’d requested many times that Harry hire someone else to do the work for them, she didn’t even live with him! Saying that her nails were too expensive or that her hands were too precious to handle the pressure of cleaning anything in the house. And when Harry did hire someone, she looked down on the helper as if she had the right to do so. Harry powered through her attitude for the good—recently mediocre— sex and the company.

As things got worse, he didn’t know how much more of Irene he can handle. When he received the news that she was cheating on him with her boss, he snapped. He spoke to that guy in person about giving Irene a promotion and this was how they repaid him. Frankly, it didn’t hurt as much as he’d thought; it didn't hurt as much as his break up with Y/N. He was relieved that she wasn’t going to be around anymore. But all things have an equal and opposite reaction because now, Harry felt extra lonely.

The slight twinge in his heart built into something grander when he was left alone with his own thoughts. Replaying his memories with Y/N trying to see where it went wrong. And at that moment, Harry realizes that it was all his fault. He was the reason why they drifted, he was the reason why she packed her things and left their house with nothing but a few stacks of bills in her hands to last for a few months because he’d essentially kicked her out of his life. What was he thinking?

-----

Y/N was on her lunch break for the day, deciding to grab food at the cafe a few blocks from the firm. She was hastily carrying herself through crowds of people with somewhere to go. Once she arrived, she stands behind a lengthy line of customers waiting to state their order to the cashier. Although Y/N rarely strays from getting her regular items, she scans the menu briefly anyway.

Her turn comes, ordering and paying for her food, she was asked to wait on the left side. The main entrance bell chimes, indicating that someone new had either left or entered the café.

Harry walks in with his grandpa hat covering much of his hair and he hopes that it's doing a good job at disguising his face. His hands held tight in his pockets as his lanky legs move him to the line-up. He did not need to look at the menu since he always gets his coffee black. Instead, his eyes scan the area, looking for watchful eyes from people who have recognized him or casually inspecting his surroundings for the sake of it. His eyes land on a familiar head of hair that he has to blink thrice to make sure of what he was really seeing.

There stood Y/N clad in her matching pantsuit, hair in a ponytail and a bag clutched on her elbow. She looks sideways and he was blessed with a side profile of her face. Oh, how he misses her. He decides to take a detour from his usual escapades and makes a beeline towards her.

"Hey"

Y/N turns around, face visibly displaying a mixture of disappointment, confusion, and anger upon seeing Harry.

"Hi," she says curtly, before turning around as her name was called. She grabs her latte and croissant, turning around swiftly before lightly knocking shoulders with Harry's broad ones, make an escape route to the exit. Even though she still had an hour or so left on her break, she doesn't think that she could handle spending any more time with Harry in the vicinity. So she exits and makes it out on the street that has cleared some during her fifteen minutes indoors.

"Y/N! Y/N, wait. Please," Harry shouts from behind her, weaving his way around people blocking his way to Y/N.

"What do you want, Harry?" You.

"I saw you and wanted to say hi," he explains, eyes finding hers trying to find any kind of emotion that meant she was somehow glad to see him. H finds none.

"Well, you said hi. See you around," Y/N briskly tries to walk away once again but is stopped when he grabs her wrist. A chill makes its way up her spine, heart beating untimely. She gulps.

"Please, Y/N. Let's talk,"

She pretends to look at her watch, rolling her eyes before saying, "Fine. You've got ten minutes,"

The pair walk side-by-side towards a nearby park. The silence between them was uncomfortable for both. Sitting on a bench, Harry shifts his body facing her, clearing his throat.

"I want to apologize for-for what I did before," Y/N can tell that he's nervous by the way his body language breaks down in from of her.

"You mean when you cheated on me and I caught you fucking her brains out in the bathroom? Or was it when you knew that your feelings changed for me but you led me on anyway?" Y/N raises her brows accusingly.

He gulps in response.

"Y-yeah for that. Look, I thought about it and it turns out that I still love you, Y/N. I still have feelings for you,"

She takes a bite of her croissant, shifting her gaze somewhere else and further emphasizing how uncomfortable she was feeling right now.

"And if you'd let me, I want to give it another try. I promise I won't ever do it again. You deserve the world and I'm willing to give it to you. I'll do anything that it takes to have you forgive me," he pleads seriously. If he had to jump off of a bridge for another chance at Y/N's love, he would do it. He will do anything to have Y/N forgive him. Anything.

He was blind without her, lost without any guidance and navigating the world alone. He needed Y/N to tell him that it was gonna be okay when times go rough; he needed Y/N to love him like she did before, the way he does for her right at this very moment. He wants to relive the past where he didn't take her for granted--when they were happy. And if he can't, he might as well give it another shot, to experience the happiness she brought him once again by trying the circumstances. He was ready for it if she was.

"I'm engaged, Harry."

His eyes were like laser beams boring through her face; eyebrows furrowing, lips pursing open and closed and his chest felt crushed from the force of her words. She didn't say in a tone to spite him or make him jealous, it was soft and gentle–merely stating a fact that he obviously missed out on because What?

"Engaged? Y/N, what are you talking about," He spits out nervously, not wanting to accept the truth but wanting to learn more about her status. It’d only been eight months, surely she couldn’t have moved on that fast. You’re one to talk, Harry. He snickers to himself.

"Alan and I—we're getting married," She takes a sip of her beverage, ring glinting against Harry's green eyes and he swears that he just saw his life flash before his eyes.

There it is. The ring that bonded Alan and Y/N together, glistening in the sunlight, taunting him. It rested so gently on her pinky as if it was meant to be there. When Harry imagined this moment, she wore a ring that he had given her because he was the one who got down on a knee, declaring his undying love for her, praising her for her beauty and grace, and asking her the question he'd pictured himself repeat about a hundred times under his breath trying to find the best way to ask her to be his wife.

"Y-you're getting married? Tell me you're lying," He sounds angry, demanding, and in disbelief of what's unfolding right in from of his eyes and ears. "Tell me that you're pulling my leg, love," he says his second statement with great vulnerability, voice cracking in the middle of it to which Y/N retracts her neck, appalled.

"No, I'm not kidding. Why would I do that?" Y/N was confused about why Harry was reacting the way he is right now. Shouldn't he be happy for her? After all, he did break it off between the two of them so he had no right to feel hurt or pained. He had Irene.

"Because I wanted it to be me!" He all but yells at her face. Neck vein straining from the blood rushing to his brain, making him dizzy with the knowledge he just received. Palms sweating profusely forcing him to wipe it on his jeans before he takes hold of her empty hand, taking it in his own which she surprisingly lets him.

"I wanted it to be me. I want you to be mine and now I can't because he—he's the one you're going to marry," A lone tear falls down his eyes, nose starting to get runny from the emotions that overwhelm him. She tries to pull her hand back to herself, but he doesn't let her.

"Why are you crying? You wanted this, you wouldn’t have cheated on me if you didn't want me out of your life," She tries to reason and justifies with his previous actions. Everything was making sense until he spits out the bullshit of still loving her. And even so, why did he wait so long to find her and tell her?

"It was a mistake! I was stupid and a huge asshole, I didn't think of the consequences." He grasps tightly to her hand, fearing that this may be the absolute last time he'll be able to touch her like this. "I took advantage of you, of your love and I shouldn't have because you're the most amazing person in this world. You gave me chance after chance and I didn't deserve any of it b-but I just wished you'd give me another one,"

Harry brings her hand up to his lips, kissing it multiple times while looking in her eyes sincerely.

"I'm glad you know that you already took my heart for granted and left me broken. But now, I finally found my happiness again, you want to take that away from me too? Just so you'd feel satisfied with yourself for getting the girl again?" She pulls away.

"Thanks, I'm flattered but even if I was single, I wouldn't dare give you another chance regardless if you are Harry Styles. I don't care if you can give me the world or anything I want because all I needed was for you to love, trust, and be honest with me." She takes hold of her bag strap blindly, holding her coffee cup in hand and standing up. "You didn't give me any of those,"

Harry stands as well, not prepared to lose her once more. "But I can now! I'll love you so much and I will give every ounce of it out of my body. If that's what you want, I'll do it. Just please,"

"Can't you see, H? I'm happy with Alan now. I've moved on, forgotten about you. For god's sake, I'm getting married!"

Each word she darted out of her mouth was like a gunshot to Harry. Wounds getting deeper and his body feeling heavier than usual, the emotional toll it was giving him was too much for him to handle

"Please. Do the same for yourself. I may not love you the way I did before, but I still care about you," Y/N states gently to Harry. If anything she sees him as a friend, still cares for his well-being. From the short distance, she sees a few girls whispering to each other and pointing at him, obviously recognizing his stance and demeanor.

"But I love you, Y/N! Isn't that enough?"

She only smiles at him before shaking her head, "Sometimes love isn’t enough. Sometimes you have to act on it, and sometimes cheating isn’t a great way to prove that.”

“I hope she was worth it.”

And before he could fire back at a chance to defend himself, the group of girls approaches him suddenly, catching him off guard.

He could hear them requesting to sign their phone cases, could hear the shutter of their phone cameras capturing his dumbfounded face, could hear them chattering about his work and he could hear them praise him for all the things he wasn't. Even with the roar of his crowd performances echoing how much they loved him, nothing beats Y/N's soft voice voicing out an, "I love you, Harry" He feels one girl shake his arm, usually he'd politely ask them to not touch him but at the moment he felt numb.

Because a few meters away, he witnesses Alan and Y/N walking towards each other with the brightest smile on their faces. Greeting each other with a hug, everything about them screamed being in love. Like Harry was, except the girl he adored was loving another man. What hurts the most–when they kissed each others' lips tenderly and his mind plays tricks on him, envisioning that he was the guy that Y/N was with except it flicks back to reality much too soon than he’d like it to be.

His imagination is proof of what could've been him and Y/N spending the rest of their lives together but of course, he’d mess that future up. He stands there wishing he could turn back time, praying to whoever it is up there that could help him find love again. Because his heart continuously breaks seeing her be happy with somebody else.

——- If you like it, shoot me a message If you don’t, pretend you do requests are open!

[futurewriter2000]

Quick rant

Okay so I have this friend who has a bf (woo shocker) and today she told me that her bf doesnt like me. And first of all I am a DELIGHT to be around with and secondly hhow the fuck can he judge me without even knowing me. And not that I care that he doesnt like me. I don't and I do. But like you wanna know why doesn't he like me? Because I see him. Bc I see him as a fucking manipulative motherfucker that he is. And he's not bad. I know he's not "that bad" and its not that I hate him. No its not that but you know what it is? When I heard that he doesnt like me I was relived. Why? Because since that day that we ran at each other when I was with me he pretended he didnt know me. He pretended he didnt know me or my sister or anybody when clearly on New Years 2018 we met. And he knew who I was long before that and long after that and he still pretended that he didnt know. And my friend kept telling me what a Saint he is and how he doesnt drink and how he's a 20 yo virgin and I love my friend, I really do but I told her many times that she is too naive. I told her that this guy, her bf, he knows me and he knows who my sister is. And when I last saw him he was drunk on his ass so you cant tell me that he doesnt drink when he does. And I didn't tell her this bc I didnt want to come off too strong but what the fuck? 20 yo virgin, from Balkan, who is literally a hooligan, and he had a serious relationship with a girl he was deeply in love with for the past two years before he met my friend and youre telling me that in both of his 18th and 19th year before he met my friend didnt fuck her????? Then what did they do?? Sit and watch each other??? Like I know she wants to see the best in people and shes in love with him a d she believes hes a virgin but man is she so naive.

And, wait here comes the good part. When I told her that he was drunk the last time I saw him, she asked him that and he denied it. And guess which one she believed. Yes. Him. A guy who she has known at that time for three months and me who she has known then 2 years. She believed him. HIM! Like how fucking dense does she think I am that I cannot see 5he fucking difference between a man who is sober and a man who is drunk. I grew up with an alcoholic. Like I can pretty much see someone from a mile always and tell you that hes drunk or sober.

But ok. I let it slide bc she was in love with him and she was so happy and I loved seeing her so happy. So even when I had this gut feeling about him... Dislike?? Perhaps idk I just wanted her to be happy.

Even tho he deleted and blocked my sister from snapchat for to "prove" to my friend that he is loyal. (Like fucking deleting someone from snapchat makes you loyal. No. It makes you a fucking prick. Obsessive little fuckers.). Even tho he kept calling my friend about her whereabouts or bc she didnt reply that instant minute. Like shes in school. She cant text you you dumbass. Like if she doesnt reply to him in 5 minutes, hes calling her. Love or wanting someone to control? You tell me. And even tho he wanted to sleep with my friend like 3 months after they started dating... Like i let all of that slide bc all I wanted was to see my friend happy. Cuz she sparkles when shes happy and thats just a sparkle you dont want to take away.

And now she told me he doesnt like me and I was glad bc at that same moment I could finally say that I don't like him back. Idk what his reasons are, I know what mine are but I have a feeling that I know one of his reasons. It's that I see him. I see him through all the bullshit he puts on. He doesnt like me because he's afraid of what I might do. Talk to my friend about every fucking logical reason that he's nothing more bjt your typical fucking liar.

But he's afraid for no reason. Idc that he doesnt like me. Honestly, my friend didnt listen to me when I tried to tell her that he might not be who she thi is. And tbh I love that sparkle in her but that's not my fight. He is her decision. Not mine. Im going to stay away bc unlike him, I don't know what he is like when they are alone and I don't know who he is. I don't know him in the way she does and maybe he really is an sober 20 yo virgin who goes to those fan weird things (it still doesnt make sense to me but what if. I know he wasnt sober that night).

I am okay with that but what I am mad about is that he thinks like I am that typical friend who wants to break them up. Like no. I'm not and I bet youre not a typical žic študent. I know hes hardworking. I know he tries his best in school and I know that he isnt all bad as I said at the top. Everybody has flaws but like... Just because I see him under all of that put up shows does not mea. HE DOES T FUCKING GET TO NOT LIKE ME! I AM AMAZING AND HE SHOULD BE INTIMIDATED BY ME BC I LOOK AFTER MY FRIENDS THAT SON OF A BITCH AND IF HE TRIES TO FUCKING TURN MY FRIEND AGAINST ME HE SHOULD FUCKING BE PREPARED BC I AM ALL ABOUT BREAKING NECKS!

[alchemist-shizun]

As expected, Dealing with intrusive thoughts is now one of my favorites

Here I come with almost all of my reactions on the episode, even though I tagged the spoiler warnings I put everything under the cut just in case. Enjoy the emotional rollercoaster while I'll probably go and rewatch it again.

Okay kinda expected one or two of the warnings but all of them together what is gonna happen???? (Though they make sense after reading the title)

HELLO FRESH BACK AGAIN

"I'm awesome and I can do this" there goes my boy. *said boy falls flat on the floor* ...come on

I felt that yawn bc I stayed up all night waiting for the video but it dropped at 8 am, I'm an idiot who should've gotten more sleep

"help me" why is he such a mood "everything is going wrong in my life" same but YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT LET ME HUG YOU

They're all sinking up so fast god I missed my bois. Also the general awkwardness of Virge and Pat, greeeeat something will go wrong

Virgil just ignoring everything and touching the railing, a mood

ALSO PLEASE LET ROMAN IN THE SITUATION

SECRET SECRETS ARE NO FUN TELL ME NOW OR ELSE WE'RE DONE

wait why does Ro want to be deeply troubled- man are you okay-

LOGAN'S HERE

"your most extreme reaction is an eyebrow raise" "FALSEHOOD" "I stand corrected" omfg

"what are you ta- what are you talking- what are you talking about?" I loved that whole take it made me feel complete

"Look I barely got any sleep" this can apply to a lot of us and I love just how we're all always like "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" but in the end this is where we all end up anyway

Okay I'm very curious about these troubling thoughts though

"so sushi" FUCCC I DIED RIGHT THERE

"Don't act like that was an accident" "everybody, Virgil. Let's give it up for the Purp Man" these speak for themselves. Also the purp man is my new fav nickname and I'm gonna use it.

4:17 Patton is adorable bye

"if you continue to push this we're going to end up in really dangerous territory" AND THAT'S WHERE THE TENSION STARTED TO BUILD UP

great flick

"am I delirious or is this the funniest video I've ever made" I felt that

YOU HIGH-JOCKED

okay but when Thomas starts disassociating I also feel really weird like as if there was something blocking my own hearing for real?? And not just the audio edited like that?? Maybe I'm just too tired

WHAT WHO WHHH first intrusive thought making its way what is gonna happen

OH MY GOD ROMAN WATCH OUT ALSO THAT'S DEFINITELY A NEW DARK SIDE OR SMTH LIKE THAT

W HO THE FUCKLKDSL IS THAT A MOUSTACHE IS THAT GLITTER WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE WEARING WHAT IS HE DOING THERE PLEASE- okay but he looks crazy af I like that

"-evIL" "-SHOW UP"

First time I watched the scene where Ro gets knocked out I literally just screamed "ROMAN" in a high pitched sound I was shook wtf my bOY

Patton and Thomas's yells in unison plus "YOU KILLED HIM" I just I JUST

"Ah, he's the Duke" "....... boo" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay but his voice is so on point with his character portrayal he's so weird it's awesome?

SONG SONG SONG and oh goodness the visuals I can't fathom how much editing work must have gone through this, they're all so talented.

"aunt patty naked" A G AI N??

"IM GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT"

a snaKE IT'S DECEIT oh my these silouhettes are so great this is my favorite scene

this is gonna be stuck in my head all day

THE COOL MIRROR EDIT.

god i hate him so much already but i'm super intrigued he's so chaotic the whole team made a wonderful job i'll never stop saying this

"i'm really stupid right now" just how much out of context relatable content are we going to get on this fine day?

omg the dark version of creativity, which can be associated with intrusive thoughts, that's very clever

THE JUICY STUFF DANCE

"Repression can be very bad indeed" I mean he's right tbh it leads to never solving the problem at all

GO LOGAN GO HAVE YOUR TIME TO SHINE FINALLY i missed him

"i can't hear youuuuuu" much like "I don't understand what you're saying I don't know anything about words" THE DARK SIDES ARE ALL SASSY LITTLE BITCHES

pattonnnn did a real good job

THE BRAVE HANDSOME UNBEATABLE ROMAN and mashed potatoes

"scary" and Virgil just gives Thomas a look idk I live on the little details (Im ten minutes into the vid and look how long this post already is)

GEE Remus (already using his name bc it's shorter) looking so offended at the label and then pointing out it should be a Virgil problem whAT DOES THIS MEAN IM SHAKING

WHY WOULD HE BE DECEIT AGAIN IM DYING. "Idk if you guys can tell but I'm a little silly"

"then why are you lying" no everybody I don't need angst

THE BLACK AND THE WHITE THEORY I SAW GOING AROUND good job to whoever thought of that

JOAN

the forbidden dance

INTO A BUTTHOLE WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BUTTHOLES

there u go thomas said it too

haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate FHDSLAKLFD

irresponsible parenting, Logan completing the parental unit of the sides

"maybe there's hope for you after all!" me looking at all my wips

REMUS' LAUGH IS PERFECT. also "BITCH WHAT IS *YOUR* DEAL"

"you've never been one to soften the truth" OH BOI HERE WE GO

"do we have some case of brain swap???" I legitly said "maybe" in unison with Patton the first time

Vee pls stop putting Thommy boy down he's having a bad time

Logan trying to put some sense into the situation is my only spark of hope for this to turn back good

REMUS IS SO DRAMATIC

That lick was ....... let's pretend it never happened

"you know who can help us with that???" DECEIT'S SONG COMING UP that was great, imagine the chaos that the duo would create

"THATS WHAT REPRESSION IS?"

gasp Remus trying to make Virgil angry at Logan shall not stand DON'T PUT THEM AGAINST ONE ANOTHER HE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP

"you all are not listening to Thomas" this is the development I needed

"you're just para-" and he cuts himself. You all know what I'm talking about. Foreshadowing probably? This happened too back then when Roman was almost calling him the same. And then Virge looks so hurt I- "thank you for being on guard" that made me want to cry idk

the whole speech Logan gave? Pure gold. That was perfect.

HE SAID FIGURATIVELY *CLAP CLAP CLAP*

"UH RECORD SCRATCH?"

"does this make me cool?" djslagrkglhf also the teeth thing right after what the

... the deodorant eating ...

DUKEY

The first time I watched I thought his name was spelled Remis that's how dumb my Italian ass is

Still I love his name bc I'm a nerd for ancient culture, ESPECIALLY Roman (and ancient Greek but it isn't mentioned here) and I love the little thing they did with both Creativity names, super clever and very much liked on my part.

"I would never hide anything from you" and he looks at Virgil JUST ALL THIS FORESHADOWING

LOGAN SHOWING HIS TEETH BACK UP

"how about you shut up" Roman what the hecc man

THAT THING INTO LOGANS HEAD UNSETTLED ME A BIT

what are they doing to him today let him rest

double blow

"can we logic our way out of that?" everybody nodding was so pure

"shit"

THAT FUCKING JUMPSCARE I'M SORRY WHAT THE FU

"not all thoughts are meaningful"

He's go- no he's back again

THE CALLBACK MENTION AND PATTONS REACTION... probable foreshadowing to what Joan said about there being a part two of SvS?

"When are you actually gonna jump out of a moving car I've been bringing it up for years" so it's not just me..?

"it is okay if the thought happens to cross your mind"

"everything is okay" I'm going to cry I needed that

I love how Logan touches the topic that there is no problem in seeking help from therapists. There's a lot to say on this, but I was really glad that was pointed out since the are a lot of stereotypes on the matter

why did Virgil look like he was about to cry

Patton I love you

Thomas going to rest is what everyone wanted to see

Virgil confronting Remus I'm living you're doing amazing sweetie

"you tickle me emo"

"it was just like old times" then Pat and Lo's looks in this essay I will

ROMAAAAN

VIRGILS SMILE

"YOU'RE ALIVE"

"I LOVE YOU" ME TOO!! ME TOO ME TOO

"are you good?" "are you hurt at all?" I love when the sides look out for each other

"I'm sorry Logan" right through the heart. Another development.

I need y'all to look at Virgil in this exact second because. he.

that's my point.

All those smiles while Logan's talking are making me alive

"No seriously, you're ... really ... cool" I started tearing up right here. Twice. And then Logan sinks down cause he's not at all used to this and he's feeling t h i n g s please keep on being appreciated you deserve it

Also Patton always learning from his mistakes and understanding them when he does something wrong or he thinks in the wrong direction, that's something I think a lot of people need to learn, including myself. Like, it's okay to be wrong and make mistakes, just do your best to make sure you're improving yourself afterwards, instead of dwelling on it too much

"I don't like him" makes two of us

"Soooo you have a brother?" oh boy

The m i r r o r it's making me cry

"He's gone now and he's never coming back!" "I don't think that's-" "BYEE" what was all that talk about repression for if you contiNUE TO DO THIS ROMAN please I beg of you let us hELP YOU he's making me die inside

Oh boi the big moment. I already expected a bomb to drop since Virgil was the last one remaining.

"You okay buddy?" "Huh?" op somehow was already found crying

"I'm a little disappointed in myself" istg all that foreshadowing mixed with me wanting to hug him

The music picking up tension, this is poetic cinema let me tell you

I noticed how he calls them "the others", all these tiny details is what I'm living for

"I should know better" I couldn't beLIEVE IT, also how he seemed to be so frustrated made something inside me break

the pause and then "Because I was one of them", the music stops for a second, a little second in which you can hear my distant screaming "GOSH HE SAID IT IT WAS TRUE"

Thomas is speechless and just stares at him while the music picks up again and then Virgil's sigh and expression sinking down like "there you have it. that's the truth. and you can't do anything about it" he looks so defeated I'm breaking down.

Did I already mention poetic cinema? I just love angst and this scene was perfect

First time watching I, too, barely understood anything I was listening to in the last parte because all of that was really a lot to take in.

"Those thoughts that you may have thought do not define you"

"[the thought] may simply be that we are really okay"

"Go to bed!" me

no im not in the mood for food because for some unfathomable reason I had anxiety before the video dropped yay me

WHY ARE U DRINKING RED WINE WITH THAT DISH

GAVIN BEST BOY EVER

and last but not least: are you fucking serious Remus

THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT FANDFKJL

I didn't expect this topic at all and I am so glad it was talked about, thankfully my intrusive thoughts do not bother me as much as I realized other people's do. And I never saw anyone talking about this before, which is why it makes this video so important. I saw a tweet recently about someone saying that it is okay if you think about weird things, the important is that you never act on them, that's what makes you a good person. But I think this video really explains it far better and I never realized how common something like this was? So yeah another time in which I've been educated and couldn't be happier about it. These people really are bringing light to the world gah I LOVE THEM.

oKAY guess I'm done this was a wild ride and yeah I tend to point out EVERYTHING, so here you have it, as I already mentioned if you feel the need to geek out too, I'm here for ANYBODY! (pls I have no friends)

[travellers-survivor-old-west]

Episode 2.0: "I ate a Bagel and we SNAPPED" - Eve

After the “Ginger Curse” met its next Travellers Survivor victim....... 

Whew okay so I don't know anyone on my tribe (kinda) which is good but also a bit scary since its just 6 of us. Overall, I feel like everyone's a bit quiet and not too talkative. That being said, they might be talking a bunch in PMs. Right now, I am trying to stay under the radar and just be friendly with everyone. I really like Austin, Eve and Patrick right now. Keaton and Isaac are nice too but I dont really talk to them as much. If we would have lost this first immunity challenge I would have definitely wanted to vote for one of them. No official alliances yet but its still early so I think its okay. THANK FUCKING GOD WE WON. Okay well, we got 2nd but thats a win in my eyes. I just really hope I make it to jury and I will be happy so not being first boot is GREAT. Im trying to get this damn idol but I cant catch a fucking break and my ass keeps getting zapped... I dont think anyone has gotten the idol yet so I hope i get lucky and somehow get to it first. Here is how I see everyone as of right now: Austin: Probably my fave right now and hoping I can get into a f2 with him. He's funny and sweet and I feel like we get along and its pretty easy to talk to him. Eve: Eve is iconic! Want to work with her but I feel like she is really social so she might be a threat later on. Pat: Same as Eve, even though I just met him, I actually have known about him before since he is friends with some of my friends. I know he does good in games so he is someone I would like to see leave a bit sooner since I think he will be hard to get rid of later. But hes amazing and his video for the music video was ICONIC. I can see him and I becoming friends for sure. Keaton: Not much to say, I do know keaton from playing a game with him in the past but he was voted out first I think and then I hosted him in HOS but i wasnt super active in that one :) Anyway, I feel like we dont have much to talk about so I need to make more of an effort with him. I really wouldnt care to see him go tbh but who knows, this can definitely change if we start talking more. Isaac: omg okay so night one I go into everyones PMs to say hi and i notice that I already had messages with him which I found super weird because I didnt know who he was but I guess we kind of got into it like 3 years ago??? I told him I didnt remember this but i do. He was basically an asshole to me for no fucking reason. But this was 3 years ago so i really dont care so I hope he doesnt try to target me over it. He seems nice I guess but I havnt really talked to him much. In his defense he has been sick apparently but if we would have gone into this first TC I would have wanted to see him voted out first for sure.

We won thanks to the combine efforts of Nick, Chloe, and Aidan. All kings and queens! I probably should say something about the vote switch last time. Yeah that happened. Didn’t even realize cas was part of the tribe. Great social game 10/10. So sorry Payton <33. Now we wait to see who goes but so far I quite like nick, Chloe and Aidan. Idk if I can take Chloe that far tho. I feel like she’s gonna get targeted by the other tribes when we merge if we survive that long anyways. I feel like out of our tribe, Nick has the best change of making it to f4 but I’m not sure he’ll be able to win. Payton has a job that takes him away so :/ if we lose again, he’s probably gonna be voted out next. I mean if I’m taken out of the picture. I’m pretty sure the tribe thinks I’m hella annoying but they need me on their side for now. :^)

Lmaoooooo well thank fuck we won because my ass was on the chopping block lmaoooo. My ass didn’t volunteer to do the challenge either because I fucking suck at memory so mfjrkjskfks lmaoooo fuck me man. I’m barely scrapping by but here I am

So happy we are safe again! I'm so use to going to tribal everytime lol. I think now would be a good time to get ashley eve and isaac all together on the same page with me for some kind of alliance

What's up though? Here we are in Survivor: Old West, losing the second immunity challenge and we have a specific reason to point to in Xander. I'm sure he tried his best, but when it came my turn to answer the questions I was only able to give correct answers about the information he gave me. I personally think he is the person that is going to help us the least, but Sammy was not in that challenge. In the challenge that Sammy mainly participated in, Nicole was the person that made things difficult for us. That brings us to late last night where Sammy decides to be the first person to throw out a name and pick Nicole, gives his reasons, and that's it for me once the name is said and agreed upon in my alliance, it's done that's the plan. Now all there is to do is see what Xander and Dylan say, and we're done. I hope so anyway, I could sit here and ponder if Sammy had ulterior motives or if this is a good move for me but at this moment I don't want to overthink anything, so we chillin' --- Oh as I was writing this I found a Vote Reveal advantage on space 25 on the railroad, which I am guessing means there are more things on 50 and 75. Vote Reveal is a bit useless but maybe there will be a specific situation where it will work out.

So so happy our tribe won that challenge. Honestly idk how to feel about this game. Im trying really hard to be social with people so IF we lose im okay but I feel like everyone except Austin is actively reaching out to me. I basically start all the conversations. So to me either people are a bit inactive in this game/ dont care about the game or theyre already forming alliances and dont really need to talk to me. Im really hoping its that theyre inactive. Right now Isaac and Keaton can go, they literally just leave me on read and dont try to talk to me. I had a good conversation with austin WHO I FUCKING LOVE IM SO GLAD HES HERE and he wants to start an alliance soon. We both agree Eve would be a good option but he also mentioned that he would like isaac or pat to join it. This lets me know he likes isaac so they must be talking so idk why he isnt talking to me but whatever. Anyways.. I would love an alliance with Austin, Eve and Pat but a four person alliance when theres only 6 of us can be scary. Luckily our tribe has been doing well in challenges so far but we will probably have to go to TC at some point and thats when shit is going to go down. I can def see people possibly wanting to vote me so im going to start being even more social and get that alliance going with Austin. I wouldnt mind seeing Isaac or keaton going if we do go to TC next round. I doubt anyone has the idol yet and holy shit im so bad at this i always get zapped. I need Jess, Micheal or Alyssa to rig this shit for me please

The challenge involved having people active on call.... And to be honest I didn't want to do it for us. But I offered because I don't want to be that guy. Anyways. We lost but barely. Got our hopes up saying 8/10 if only Michael could count. Makes me wonder what's really going on up there in his head. I'm just glad the votes seem to be off me this time. But we can only hope. I did my part of the competition. So they can't entirely fault me.

Okay so I’m in an alliance w Jared and Owen and I think I mentioned that. I honestly wanted to sit out of the challenge bc I just needed a break. However, we lost and in my head I immediately thought to vote Nicole. She really hasn’t put in too much for these challenges and I know she’s on vacation. Xander would be my next choice just because he is short on responses and I feel like he would vote me out over Jared or Owen and a i assume he’s closer to them after the challenge. I’d like to work with Dylan on the side if possible. I’m just chillin hoping this first tribal isn’t a blindside and if it’s against me then hoes ain’t loyal and that ain’t very western like. I don’t think they would betray me this early tho and I have faith in my alliance.

I feel like these people are carrying me at this point and that is A okay with me. I’m running the Iditarod and they’re my dogs

OKAY WOW PAT EVE AND I POPPED THE FUCK OFFFFFF we did everything we needed in life and it was beautiful. I'm not really doing alot in this game I'm just floating along woooo

Welp it's been real y'all. No one had talked to me since the challenge much and only sammy has said maybe it's me and Dylan says it's definitely me.

Hi welcome to my lifeeeeeee today i ate a bagel and we SNAPPED in the immunity, I FUCKING KILLED IT, (thanks keaton!!!!!) HEHE HAHA IM SO CUTE Waitin for this Alliance to be made tbh but what do i know, we're gonna keep SNAPPING so whatever ladies xoxoxoxoxox

[leegeumhyuks]

Seventeen in Toronto Highlights (Long Post)

this is gonna be such a shit post im basically ranting bc i have a lot of seventeen feels rn (its gonna be long too)

the concert happened like 4 days ago and I’m still not over it

Okay so I live in new Brunswick so it was a 15 hour drive one way. We drove up the day before and drove home the day after.

It was tiring, but so worth it. One of the best experiences of my life(oh btw i went with a friend ^^)

(not relevant to the concert but we went to a cute Korean store called Sarah and Tom which had a MASSIVE collection of kpop albums so I bought Going Seventeen and a BTS album :) )

Alright so the concert was at a place called Massey Hall which is more like a theater than a concert stadium [lowkey looked like a place you would go to see a play or an opera or some shit]

it was a pretty small place so really no matter where you sat, you could see really well so any seat was a good seat

Me and my friend were center-balcony near the back so we had a very clear view of the stage (other than there was some tall dude in front of me so it was a bit difficult at times)

We arrived outside the venue at around 6:20 (concert started at 7) and the line to get in already went around a whole block. People were stopping to ask what was going on and apparently it made the Toronto news??

So we get in at around 6:40 and the venue is already more than half full and theyre just playing music videos and everyone was singing along

And when I say everyone was singing along i mean everyone

Honestly I only remember a few of the songs but I they played BoomBoom, Very Nice, Highlight, Healing, and Check In

I have never been happier in my entire life when every single damn person in the venue did Mingyu’s “WhhoAHHH YeaAAHHH’ part. Super. Fucking. Loud

Alright so let me tell you my dudes, It was the biggest adrenaline rush when all the lights went out and you could see the boys run out on stage in the dimness. My heart felt like it stopped.

The lights turn on and I hear Dokyum say “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Diamond Edge” but honestly I wasnt even paying attention bc I was just so blown away

Literally my very first thought upon seeing them was “They’re not real” bc the very first person I looked at was Jeonghan and I thought he was so damn gorgeous he must be fake

He’s literal ethereal. I could go off about how good looking he is. Honestly the true visual of Svt (i swear hes not my bias)

So the very first stage was Pretty U and honestly I dont remember much bc i was too busy freaking out over the fact that I was actually there and they were actually here. I just remember everyone dancing along to Dokyums “Neoneoneoneo” part and all of us doing the “Yeppeuda” part

(they performed Beautiful right after and i really dont remember much of it other than the dance in the chorus [i have such a shit memory its mainly why im making this post before ill forget it all])

So after that they went straight into Adore U (which is my fav svt song although it probably isnt anymore after habits but ill talk about that in a bit)

Oh man if you thought I went off about Jeonghans visuals let me tell you about this mans vocals. They’re so sweet. Sweeter than honey. Jeonghans part in the chorus is my absolute favorite part of the song and it sounds 10000x better live. He just sings it so flawlessly while doing the dance and overall I was just so impressed??

Jihoon also sounded amazing but like let me just take a minute and say every single member sounded fucking perfect and flawless like if you aren’t stanning Seventeen then what are you doing

And the dances were so on point too. I didn’t notice any slip ups or anybody trippin or nothing. Like you’d think they’d show signs of fatigue or being tired bc they did two shows the few days before but they were all so hyped and gave their all in every stage and they genuinely looked like they were enjoying themselves

Anyways back to Adore U

Everyone in the crowd did the “Akkinda” part and I could see Soonyoung smiling so big bc of that like he was really happy bc of it

After Adore U finished they all lined up to do their intros and introduced themselves as a group and then did their individual intros

Most of them just did a casual “Hi I’m ___” but then you had the extra™️ members

Soonyoung got us all to chant something (im not sure what it was exactly I think it was ‘rock the beat’) and then he did his usual “What time is it??” “10 Hour 10 Minute” which honestly made my life i was hoping for him to do that (i love soonyoung sm honestly most of my favorite moments of the concert were bc of him)

Dokyum also did a thing where he got everyone to scream for him

All of their intros were great but none of them were as memorable as Jihoons for me

I know a lot of people were saying ‘He’s not that small in person’, but to me he was so small and cute and I just wanted to go and hug him bc hes so freaking adorable

So Jihoon’s kinda quiet and shy in general, we know that from variety shows and such but I saw it a lot in the concert. Like when other members were talking he just stood quietly with his hands folded and there was this one part where they all ran towards the edge of the stage and gave hearts and Jihoon like covered his face a bit and looked embarrassed 

So anyways he does like this cute little “Hi guys” and I just fucking melted right there. I made an audible “awwwww” sound that my friend was like ???

I love Jihoon so much and I will forever see him as the cute and adorable little smol (boi got a voice tho holy shit)

So they talked a bit more after that about how they walked around Toronto a bit the day before and how they were impressed with the crowd dancing along to Pretty U and Mingyu taught us a little chant where they would say “Seventeen Carat” and we would go ‘clap clap Ehhhhh’ it was weird but cute

So they went straight into Still Lonely from there and I hate my brain for not remembering most of it bc its one of my favorite songs but I just remember Minghao doing Jun’s part in the last chorus and sounding amazing honestly i want an official 13 member version of that song

So after that was Very Nice which was indeed, very nice. Dancing on point. Dino and Vernons rap were amazing and the whole audience did the “Maja” part

Also dont remember much of that stage but I definitely remember the last part bc thats the part where my son, Chan, is in the front. 10/10

Okay so I have 2 favorite performances of the night. One of which was Swimming Fool. I am such a hoe for Performance unit (considering 2 of my biases are in it) so actually every performance of theirs was my fav but Swimming Fool tho. 

That song is one of my favs and I had never seen the dance before so I was basically dying the whole time. Soonyoung’s little wiggle dance and the jumping up and down dance that Chan did. The whole dance was so cute tbh Ive been re-watching that video every day since. (if youve never seen the dance pls watch this. Not my video tho) 

Alright imma talk about Soonyoung for a minute. This boi. Was so hyper the entire concert. He  was doing his usual yelling during songs and was giggling a whole lot, I noticed. (He also dabbed like 20 times and i was like someone pls stop him)

(There was one part where he went and dabbed right in front of Jihoon and i laughed a little harder than i should have)

And I’m honestly so glad that Soonyoung was feeling great the whole time bc apparently at the Chicago(?) show he wasn’t able to perform bc he was sick so we were extremely blessed that all 13 members were well and healthy to perform for us so like thank u jesus for keeping them all safe

(I was lowkey worried about that a lot before the concert bc of when I heard Hyungwon was missing parts of the tour with MX so I was like “Lord pls let it be all 13″)

anywho so all the members went to change outfits and they played a vcr (dont remember what of tho i have such a shit memory)

So yall they did Mansae next and started out with the class chairs and Dokyum was the teacher at the blackboard it was rlly cute!! ^^ And towards the end they repeated the “MansaeMansae” part and got everyone to do the dance it was such a great time

So while the rest of the group was preparing for the next stage(i presume), Chan and Seungcheol came out, just the two of them, with a gopro and said it was the camera for “Going Seventeen” and were filming the crowd and interacting with us a bit. And then they had a dance battle (Which Dino clearly won Seungcheol didnt stand a chance against Michael Chanson)

So then everybody came out and did BoomBoom which was  incredible (every stage was amazing i feel like i shouldnt have to say it) Most of the crowd even did the shirt thing which was really fun. Chan slayed his rap (i love my son)

So after that there was another vcr and the members changed outfits again

Vocal unit came out and sang We Gonna Make It Shine and boys let me say I have never fell in love with someone vocals so much before in my life. Like I’ve always loved Jihoon’s voice bc it was unique and its got a nasally tone to it and I love it, but hearing it in person made me love it 100x more

And for a while I actually thought Jihoon wasn’t singing?? Bc he just sounded so flawless, like exactly like the recording that I thought ‘maybe hes lip singing bc his throat is bad or something’ and I’m hitting myself now for even thinking that bc really Lee Jihoon is just the most amazing vocalist I’ve ever heard Boo Seungkwan who???

So yeah Vocal unit slayed even though I’ll always like the 2014 version of that song with Soonyoung better

As soon as that song ended they went straight into Don’t Listen and omg let me talk about visuals. The stage had this whole setup with a table with some fancy ass candles on it and there was a throne that Joshua was sitting in and the lighting was really eerie and I really don’t listen to that song much but im gonna listen to it every day from now on bc damn

HipHop unit had their turn next where they did some song which I had never heard of before called “On Haeng Il Chi” and it was dope then went into Check In and once again everyone did Mingyus “ohhhhhHHh yeahH” part (glorious I tell you)

Seungcheol was serving looks the whole time bc he was wearing this black suit set and he just looked so good the whole time. Honestly Seungcheol was such a tease the whole concert and i got a look at his thighs at one point and man he thicc

Vernon was also wearing this nice green shirt and I just really liked it for some reason and I wish I had taken more pictures and videos I hate myself for not doing that

AlrIGHT Performance Unit time!!! So leadin up to the concert I thought they were gonna perform “WHO” bc it was a bonus track and I just thought they would perform it for some reason so when they were all standing there ready for the song to start, the amount of confusion on my face when OMG came on… Wasn’t disappointed tho that performance was awesome

Still would like to see a performance of WHO tho I hope they’ll do that next time

And then they did Highlight and me and my friend even switched seats so I could get a better video of it bc I love that song so much. Also leading up to the concert I knew they were going to do this song but I wasn’t sure if they were going to do 13 member version or not but I’m glad it was just the 4 of them

Oh man okay I’m gonna talk about my bias, Chan, for a second. His stage presence in every song is seriously amazing. A main reason why hes my bias is bc im a huge fan of his dancing and his dance style(and he pretty cute) and seeing him perform live was incredible. it was almost overwhelming bc I couldnt believe someone this talented existed and I was watching them in their element 

Like he put his all into the dance while still executing his raps and vocals perfectly. His voice actually does sound a bit different live, like its a bit higher than I expected but he was so on point the whole night why is he such an underrated member

Okay so the members had another outfit change after this and these outfits were straight up sinful. Not to mention the first song they performed in them was equally as sinful so I’m going to on about this performance bc this was the best performance imo. I will never forget it. It’s ingrained into my brain forever

So Crazy In Love starts. Okay so I don’t listen to this song much as far as just listening to it in my free time, but I’d seen the dance before so as soon as I heard the music, I knew we were royally fucked. I wasn’t expecting this song probably bc i forgot it existed but its my new fav song guys this performance ruined me. 

So the lights come on at the very first part and these mofos are wearing tight black skinny pants (which looked like they were leather but they werent) and red silk sparkly shirts that were tucked in. Every single member looked flawless 

(Also didn’t mention this before but all of their hair was styled so well bless the stylists. I normally prefer a more natural color for hair on idols so I was glad the colorful dye had faded and most of them just went with black or brown)

But lord have mercy when the song started. Okay Chan is my bias but I could not stop staring at Soonyoung almost the entire time - minus for Chan’s “talking about love” part (which I remember doing the dance for and screaming while doing so)

Like you get Swimming Fool Soonyoung whos all cute and playful and going “YEEEE HAWW” during the song and then you get Crazy In Love Soonyoung whos all bedroom eyes and sexy glares and just everything about the way he moves is mesmerizing (i swear. Hes NOT my bias)

So getting through the first chorus is hard enough when BOTH my bias and bias wrecker are up in front doing that provocative shit and I was so conflicted on which one to stare at but I ended up staring at Soonyoung the whole time. 

And then in the second chorus when it’s just Jeonghan doing it and both me and my friend screamed so loud ugh the outfits were so perfect for this dance i wanted to D I E

And then it gets to the Part in the song yknow the “Ooohhhhh” part where they spin around and when it was Soonyoungs part to do that by himself. I don’t even have words for how that made me feel. That image is in my mind forever. You know that meme thats like “you ever wonder whats going on in someones head?” well yeah its that for me

It’s just Soonyung doing that one dance move

okay moving on Ive talked about this enough

My I was right after and I’d never seen the dance to that either and it was really beautiful and cool like idk how to describe it. It was like a very romantic type of dance and Jun and Minghao had such great chemistry on stage together they really blew me away

OKay now imma freak out some more bc Vocal Unit performed Habits. I actually recorded this whole song so I wasn’t really paying attention to what was happening on stage bc they were all just standing there with mic stand anyways. I was enjoying the audio and their lovely vocals. (Again, Jihoon really exceeded my expectations in this song. Like for some members like Dokyum and Seungkwan I know theyre gonna sound great and its not like I didn’t for the rest but I’m just still not over how good EVERYONE sounded)

So I’m enjoying them vocals and the song ends and my friend taps on my arm and points to her face and there are actual tears. This bitch really cried. At the time I was like “during Habits of all songs??” but i was so naive now I understand(I cried 2 days later listening to that song)

Hiphop unit then did If I which I remember 0 of I think I was still too shook from Vocal Unit

I just remember their little hip thrust dance and then immediately after was a ment and Soonyoung was mimicking HH units dance and giggling like an idiot and got the whole crowd to sing and dance to If I

“Ohh Toronto. Dancing good”

Then they were all arguing over which unit’s performance suited Toronto the best but then decided that they all did

And then Soonyoung dabbed

Too many times

Everyone also dabbed with him this group is a M E S S

And then they got Jeonghan to do Aegyo so he spun around and made a heart and said “Toronto I love you!” in the cutest voice possible I swear I’m in love with Jeonghans voice

And then Wonwoo did a cute little dance to which we all chanted ‘Go Wonwoo’ for and then Soonyoung dabbed

again

(It made Jihoon cringe every time)

Then Jeonghan tried to get Seungkwan to sing something and Boo was like ‘moVING ON” but he gave in and sang a bit of Hello by adele which was really nice. Like damn the acoustics in that theater were no joke bc its a theater (i assume) made for plays and stuff and him singing without any track sounded really nice.

And then they asked my boi Chan to dance so he started singing Billie Jean by Michael Jackson and doing the hipthrust dance and Seungkwan ran over like ‘nOO”. But Chan just kept dancing and singing and having a good time and being w i l d  to which Seungcheol cracked up at. He literally fell on the floor laughing

And they kept going on about how this was a totally special stage for Toronto, “only for Toronto”

So then they went on to say they were gonna perform a very “hot” song next and my clueless ass was like ‘Don’t wanna cry?’ but naw it was ROCK which I only recorded part of bc the lighting was bad and my phone sucks

But okay I can just say that Wonwoo’s voice sounds 10x deeper in person. If you thought his rap was really deep in that song, wait until you hear it live. For a long time Wonwoo was my favorite rapper in kpop and I think hes regaining that title he was very good the whole night and I really like his deep voice

and then they did Chuck which was SO AMAZING HOLY CRAP

I love that song sm in the first place but I love it even more now upon seeing and hearing it in person. I recorded a bit of that one too and love it i watch that video like 3 times a day

So then they had another short Ment where they taught us the dance to Chuck and Soonyoung doing the “brrrr” part was so adorable I wanted to die. (I feel like Im talking about Soonyoung a lot but im just so glad he was able to perform in Toronto ilysm)

So then Vernon was like “I actually have some bad new for yall” and all the members were like ‘whaaat??’ and pretending to be shocked

So Vernon goes on: “The next song is actually the last song for the night” and Soonyoung made this fake crying noise and then dabbED LIKE 5 TIMES

That was when he went over to Jihoon and dabbed right in front of him and then was like “Oh my god our last song?”

and then Vernon being the cheeky ass that he is was like “Yeah and I really dont wanna cry about it” and then him and Soonyoung went to the back of the stage to “cry” and all the other members were “crying”

Then Vernon came back and like “I wonder what our next song is tho? Hm????” and im like really bitch

So Soonyoung yelled ‘are you ready’ a few times and then they performed Don’t Wanna Cry which was INCREDIBLE 

They were all in perfect sync like im seriously amazed. These boys probably have to practice day and night to get dances like that. It was amazing

So the boys left the stage for a bit and there was a another vcr which was of all the member explaining what carats were to them and it was really sweet and my friend cried again (she cried like 3 times that night) and I died at Jihoons bc there was this short clip of him and hes just so darn cute

so they came out again and performed Shining Diamond but were wearing casual jeans and half were wearing blue shirts and the other half were wearing pink shirts and Soonyoung looked so good in that outfit bc his shirt was tucked in in the front and his hair was just so great

anyways they all looked like they had fun performing that song and Soonyoung was yelling as usual and there was one part of the dance that was super satisfying bc all the colors of the shirts lined up and it was just really nice to look at. 

And then they performed Healing which we had special banners to hold up during. There was one part I remember bc I couldnt see bc everyone was holding their banners above their heads, but Seungcheol jumped onto Mingyus back and koala hugged him for a good minute and a half and Mingyu kept trying to get him off and Seungcheol just smiled like an idiot and latched on. Eventually he got down and then grabbed his water bottle and dumped half of it onto the people in the front(splash zone)

So once that song ended, Toronto Carats had actually prepared something special for Seventeen. So certain seats had a red board on it that you would hold up after Healing ended but only so many seats had them so it made a message in the crowd and I think it was just 2 hearts and ‘1 7′ and the members looked really surprised like Vernon and Minghao were next to each other and were like :O

Seungcheol and Jeonghan looked really shocked too, overall none of them expected it

So then the goodbye ments came and I was ready to die as soon as they started. They all said the similar kind of thing like “we had a good time we’ll come again soon ect…” 

But Minghao’s was all in english and it was the cutest damn thing i have ever heard in my life. He started out with “Today I am so happy because of our Toronto Carats energy.”

and then says the cutest shit ever: “We are like friends. We look after each other and love each other” He also kept looking over at Vernon to make sure he was saying it right

and then he said something like “we care for each other” and the fkcigingf df went “and everyone, don’t be sick. Always be happy okay?” IN LIKE THE CUTEST WAY POSSIBLE I WANTED TO SCREAM I MEAN I PROBABLY DID BUT STILL

and then I only remember Chan saying something like “We’ll be back soon, and when we are you have to promise that you’ll come to our show” and then Soonyoung and Seungcheol held out their pinkies for us to promise them and I held my pinky bc I damn promise if they come to Toronto again I will be seeing them for sure. Or I’ll try my best anyways

and they all gave us hearts and said they loved us and did a bow and then all had to leave the stage and I almost cried;;

I remember Soonyoung was the last to leave the stage bc he kept waving and saying goodbye

Also I remember a person sticking their hand out one last time and it was kind funny bc I just see this random hand pop out for like a split second. I didn’t know who it was at the time, but I later found out it was Dokyum :3

So yeah, he’s not my bias, but Soonyoung made my night

Anyways. I’m still having post-concert depression. Honestly I don’t think I’ll ever be able to listen to another seventeen song again without crying. All in all, it was one of the best nights of my life and if it wasn’t for my best friend who bought the tickets and surprised me with them and her mom who drove us up the whole long way. Highlight of my summer. 

[yoonminist]

💕 crush stories p4 💕

My relationship with my crush is a little complicated lol she's the softes bean ever and has a lot of problems she doesn't wants to talk about and I'm the only one who's there for her but last year everything just went down because i needed a friend to be there for me but she treated me like shit so i turned to another friend and we started dating. While i was in this relationship my crush got a boyfriend (who treats her like shit) After 6 month of dating my gf me and my crush became best friends again and i spent a lot of time with her. I broke up with my gf last week because i had to realise we only dated because we were both lonely. Now I'm back at pining over the smallest cutest girl in the whole world while i have to take care of her or she would probably die dnkdks i actually got her to watch httyd with me as her bf was being an ass and she loved it even tho she usuall hates animation movies lol 

you’re right this is complicated lmao so she’s still with her bf ??? even though she’s cute and has her own problems you don’t deserve to be treated like shit so i hope you cleared up whatever that was,,, i suggest you take a little time to enjoy being single before you start thinking about dating this crush now because i’ve seen people date for the sake of not being lonely and it usually isn’t good in the long term but good luck!! and i don’t know how bad her bf is but she should dump him

He's not texting since 3 days ago (our first date)... I think i don't like him any more 💔😭 we've been friends for 5 years...

:’( either he treats you better or you drop him bc you deserve better than that ♡

I think im a little strange, there's a guy that i like(a lot) he is really cool, funny and smart, but i think he is gay. Rather than i'm being sad or something alike, i ship him with his friend, but i still liking him. I'm getting crazy :')

ohhhh does he actually like his friend though or do you just ship them because you think he’s gay ?

aaa, so i've liked this guy for almost 3 months and i did the Thing where i told him (which never happens, because i'm usually way too shy and i tend to want to tamp my feelings back to nothing). that night, we spent hrs walking blocks and blocks and he told me he doesn't like anyone atm, which i understood 100%. after that, it really wasn't bad and we actually hung out at a lookout point for a few more hrs into the morning before he took me home. he's the first person in a while that made me feel so nervous, excited, fluttery, good about myself in a long time. i think (i hope) that i'll be over him soon - at the end of it all, he's still a good friend. the butterflies haven't left yet though - my lil heart won't stop hoping and he's not gonna stop being cute and gosh darn attractive and lovely anytime soon 😫 (ty for letting me rant through this! you're one of my favorite blogs 💝) 

THIS IS SO CUTE ahh im glad you went for it!! even though he told you he didn’t like anybody it’s better that you know and don’t spend all this time being hung up on him and wondering about What Ifs so i’m happy for you ♡ he sounds like such a nice friend though so i’m glad you have a person like him in your life and hope that you get over him asap (and thank you !! you’re so sweet 💖)

My crush is an asshole who played push and pull with me for 3 years and recently decided to declare that he likes me, but he's still not sure about us. He said, i quote: 'what if i ask you out and then change my mind' . So we're at square one again😂 he is such an attractive guy, i can't give up on him😭

NO no matter how cute he is you should get rid of him omg what an asshole-ish thing to say,,, trust me even if it’s hard at first you’ll be way happier when you’re over him !! he doesn’t deserve you!!!! ♡

My crush is actually in Korea for the summer (no lie, he's an exchange student at my school). He's so adorable and sweet, but we almost never talk or hang out, and whenever we do I'm always the one to initiate :c Just trying to be optimistic and open about everything rn :s

optimism is good!! hopefully it isn’t because he isn’t interested or already has someone but i guess the best way to find out is always to hint at it or outright ask about his love life ??

Does it count if my crush and I recently married? lol because even though he is my husband not a day goes by that my heart does not flutter with something he does. Wether it be hugging, hand holding or even a smile directed my way, I still get butterflies like crazy. He is the most kind caring and thoughtful person I have had the pleasure of meeting. He is silly and loves laughing. He has the most beautiful eyes and smile I have ever seen. But maybe I'm just being biased lol I love my crush 💜

AWWW CONGRATS ON YOUR MARRIAGE this is so nice ✨✨✨ i love this n hope you’re happy together for As Long As You Both Shall Live

The last time I had an actual full blown crush on someone it was in seventh grade and Jesus Christ let me tell you I was so dramatic over it?? The dude's initials are M.J and I once burst into tears cause I saw the letters on my tv once and we had these letter stickers back then so I put M and J together next to the Pc and whenever someone asked about it I was like it's Michael scofield bc that was back when prison break was ongoing. God I cringe so much now when I look back at it lmaoooo

you burst into tears when you saw his initials fjngjnfjgfn   

Okay so my crush is a girl and omfg, she's so pretty?? Her hair falls just above her shoulders and she has brown hair & brown eyes and I take most of my classes with her, but we have the most fun in German, Economics & Managment and Organisation. So she has a lot of... character (idk lol). She is hella stubborn and takes shit from no one but so do I so we banter and insult each other A LOT, but it's always playful so we never feel insulted. But the thing is that i'm a girl too And I didn't even know I liked girls too until I met her lol (so now i'm a closet bi girl). But the thing that gives me hope is that we low key flirt? We send each other snaps stating how much we love each other and always call each other bae/babe etc. I know girl friends do this but it's different I don't even act that way with my best friend and neither is she? And she once confessed to me that she kissed a girl when she was really drunk, but didn't feel anything with it And once we were hanging out with friends, she was drunk and this guy was lying on top of her (a friend who gets real touchy when drunk, but it was all good no harassment of some sorts) she like kept calling me to help, nothing real big. But she also got jealous once when I send a snapchat to her best friend (she was with her @ the time) & she was like why didn't you snap me? So i'm really confused and idk if she likes me too? Sorry for the ramble :(

i relate to this so much lmao i found out i was bi through my first gf too so this all sounds AWFULLY familiar,, i’ll just say if you joke about being in a r/s all the time it’s a sign that you should level it up to a real one but from what you’re telling me i have a good feeling about this!! i hope she really is into you and that you end up dating ❤ (and that you keep me updated whoops)

so im in marching band and there's this one guy in color guard who's really good and the way he can move his body is just like impossible to look away from? and he's really attractive like the other day he was wearing a shirt that had kind of a low neckline and his collarbone was really prominent and i just ahhh??? im not sure if he knows i exist but he's just really attractive help

I LOVE IT I HOPE HE NOTICES YOU AND IT’S LOVE @ FIRST SIGHT

im crushing on this guy for over 3 years. he is a meanie but i like him a lot :') this past week he confessed and said he liked me. but he is not sure if he wants a relationship. we even went out on something like a date :D im very confused rn ahahaha

you need to be clear with this kind of stuff in a r/s so just ask him!! trust your gut though, no matter how much you like him i think that if you don’t think you’ll be happy dating him then just don’t do it :’( ♡

Hey it's the anon that may or may not be gay who has a crush on the girl named Ramona. So.... I think I fucked up. A few friends of mine threw this huge party this weekend and I made sure to tell Ramona so she'd go (I mean goody2shoes at a party come on how cute is that?) So about an hour or 2 into the party she shows up with some friends and I hang around her most of the night, and when I'm not WITH her I made sure I knew where she was. See the part where I messed up is that Im not the best with alcohol... And I drank a bit much. Now I remember kissing Ramona. And that's it. However according to some friends I kissed her she slapped me I pushed her... into the pool and she left crying. Now its Monday and she wont look me in the eye (it's lunch rn and English is next) what do I do?!? I'm an obvious drunk asshole, BUT THATS THE THING! I was DRUNK! I mean I wanna apologize but I can't even get close to her with her friends there

NOOOOO oh my god you really did fuck up ;; can’t you text her asking if you guys can talk ?? tell a friend what happened and hope she’ll understand and let you explain?? honestly i have no idea but i hope you sort it out and let her know how sorry you are but also don’t beat yourself up too much!! accidents happen even if they are bad, it’s ok in the end as long as you apologise,,,,, good luck ♡ and don’t drink around her again ;;

[chickenkooks]

This is!!!!!!!! Wow !!!! I have so many things to say like 1. At the bts concert Jhope was the one who like wrecked my soul (especially bc I got hit by the water he threw from his water bottle) and Jungkook's speech was actually the cutest so I feel you ! 2. Were you at the got7 fanmeet in January or the concert bc I was totally at the fanmeet omg 3. And the block b concert from like a year and a half ago?? That was the first concert I ever went to??? More in the next ask -best friend anon

anonymous asked:

!! Ok !! 4. My own tag??! You’re the sweetest omg 5. I live like an hour away from Chicago!! You’re so close !! 6. I’m so glad you’re such a positive and sweet and nice person bc seeing you respond to all your asks with such sincerity is really refreshing 7. I’m so excited for the preview + tra part 3!!!!! 8. I swear I’ll make a blog that isn’t a personal blog one day so I don’t have to hide myself from irl people anymore -best friend anon (+ my numbering in this list might be totally off oops)

anonymous asked:

Oh wait I totally forgot to mention that I feel like the exact same way you do about Jungkook bc I constantly call him a loser and insult him even though he’s my favorite + one of my closest friends is a Jin stan who lowkey tries to swerve me into his lane all the time but it’s fine everything is fine -best friend anon

I THINK IM JUST GONNA MAKE THIS A READ MORE JSUT BECAUSE I GOT A LOT TO SAY!!!!!! SO MORE UNDER THE CUT!!!!!! i almost typed cunt

1) OMG I KNOW MY FRIEND THAT CAME WITH ME RECORDED J-HOPE THE ENTIRE TIME HES ON FIRE WHEN HES PERFORMING his solo was LIT and omg i know it was so amazing actually being there because u can see accounts of ppl going to a concert but experiencing it urself is another thing entirely!!!!!!! so the fact that chicago’s concert had its own special thing, like the bunny ears n the ment jungkook said JUST for chicago was really nice!!!!!! 

2) i did not actually go to the fanmeet. if i had more money i think i would’ve :-( but its just because i already saw them in concert so i would rather buy 1000 potatoes instead. im sure the fanmeet was fun though!!!! 

3) and YES I WENT TO THE CONCERT IN CHICAGO AND IT WAS MY FIRST CONCERT TOO????? WTF U REALLY ARE BEST FRIEND ANON??????

4) OMG NO UR THE SWEETEST ahhh i look forward to ur asks so much even though ur on anon i consider u a friend!!!!!! even tho u do not consent :-D

5) AND REALLY OMG ive lived in chicago my entire life and so since most groups go to chicago when they have a us tour i try to go!!!!!! but i secretly pray they dont because i like having money n i wouldnt ever drive to california

6) aw thank you so much!!!!! u guys are so nice to me. i really dont see myself as that nice since i think being kind to ur readers and followers is just what u should do? u guys can always ask me the same question over and over because i do love talking to u guys!!!!!! know that i genuinely mean that

7) I GOT THESE LAST NIGHT AND WAS ACTUALLY UP EDITING THE PART BUT THIS SHOULD POST SOMETIME FRIDAY MORNING but im so excited too to see what u guys think!!!!!! i hope its not disappointing at all!!!!!! it’ll probably be up in a few hours. i think i queued it for like 5 PM CDT?

8) and you honestly dont have to if it makes u uncomfortable!!!!! ofc thats not to say i wouldnt love talking to u privately because i would love to but i never wanna pressure any of u guys to come off anon!!!!! so only if u want to!!!!!!

9) i made this number up for ur third message BUT SAME sometimes i consider myself a jinkook stan because i literally love jin so much??? BUT YEAH IM SURE SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST LIKE “LMAO WHAT A LOSER WHY CANT SHE JUST ADMIT SHE LOVES JUNGKOOK N STOP ACTING LIKE THIS” but when u love someone. n really love someone. u gotta call them an idiot once

[imsarabum]

Responses to {Part 21} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^ 

(I have also included asks that I received in the hours before IWSY was posted ^^)

Anonymous said: So i found IWSY last week and marathoned through it in 2 days and omg its so good im dying for the next part!!! Thank you so much for blessing us all with your writing have a wonderful day/night!!!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤

Oh my gosh thank you for marathoning through it! I’m really happy that you found it and that you’re liking the story so far my dear ^^ I hope you have a wonderful day or night too! ❤

Anonymous said: TONIGHT'S THE MOMENT OF TRUTH!!!

WOOHOO! C:

@mysr3 said: Queen Serren will shed some light for us tonight and poor Jungkook' unbeating heart is ready  I can feel it! My heart is also not ready!!! Have A good day Love ❤️  PS I re-read Who are you again! And I find new things that I didn't notice before last time and feel different! You are such a good writer !!!

Hehe yes things were revealed last night with more to be explained c: And yay thank you for reading it again! I’m glad you could pick up on things that you maybe didn’t pick up on before, I personally love when that happens to me :3 ❤  Thank you so much my love :)

Anonymous said: It's 11:14pm in Sydney right now and I am so ready for IWSY! Unfortunately, it's a little known fact time difference is a bitch and I can't read it till the afternoon! *sighs* if only they didn't block tumble at school. -Tall anon

Aww that sucks that they block tumblr at your school! But I can understand why because they wan you to concentrate :( I hope you’ll enjoy it when you read it my love!

@lostheretics said: fEW HOURS TO IWSY AAAAAA *screaming internally* but cant read it immediately bc i have mid tests😔😔😭😭

That’s okay my love! tests and study come first ❤  I hope you enjoy it when you get a chance to read it!

@deangetoutofmyspleen said: iTS TUESDAYYYYYYYYY

YES IT IS!! ❤

Anonymous said: Yuss, vamp!Kook-tuesday!! Highlight of the week ❤

I’m so happy that it’s the highlight of your week ❤  ahhhh that really makes me smile so much!

@m1n-yoong1 said: OMG I JUST REALISED ITS TUESDAY AND IM REALLY HAPPY NOW. My day has been quite bad so I was sad all day until now 😁😁

I’m glad it can brighten up your day my love, I’m sorry that your day has been sad :( *hug* ❤

Anonymous said: I'M READY FOR WHATEVER PARANORMAL SHENANIGANS YOU HAVE PREPARED LETS DO THIS *insert boxer emoji here*

PARANORMAL SHENANIGANS YES ❤  hehe I hope you enjoyed it babe!

@kpoperinthehoody123 said: OMG SARAAAA!!!!!!!!!! I JUST READ THE WHO ARE YOU // IM JAEBUM SERIES ALL IN ONE GO AND IT IS SOOO FUCKING LEGIT THAT I FORGOT CEO JUNGKOOK WILL BE COMING OUT ANY MINUTE NOW!! HOW DO U WRITE THESE MASTER PIECES??? *cries in the corner* However, U have such an amazing and creative mind oh Sara😘😘😘 Can't wait to read 'I wont stop you' part 21 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Ahhhh thank you so much for reading it alongside IWSY! (I hope you enjoyed last nights update too!)  You flatter me way too much D: I just imagine something and then write it, it’s nothing special ❤  Thank you so much my love!

Anonymous said: I've updated your tumblr way too many times tonight.... I'm dying to know what's going to happen! 💕

asdfghj I hope you enjoyed the update beautiful!

Anonymous said: i spent a single day binging the entire IWSY series and i've never been happier because it's been hard to find some good vampire!jk and now i have and i'm living also i remember that i had read it when there was only one chapter and then i forgot about it but honestly im so happy to be back!! your writing is exceptional and as a fellow writer, i'm so happy to have found this and you ❤️❤️

jkdgkjsdg ugh thank you so much ❤  I’m really happy that you found it and returned to it and that you enjoy it ❤  thank you for finding me and telling me that you like my series dear, it really means a lot to me!

Anonymous said: I'VE NEVER BEEN SO EARLY FOR A FIC HOLY--

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!! ❤

Anonymous said: idk why but i??? Cried during chapter 21 its was sO GOOD BLESS

awh~ sad tears or happy tears? c: Thank you so much my love!

Anonymous said: I had a feeling that I would get the vampire explanation and not the "what the heck is she" explanation. On another note, in really happy with how the whole thing went, like I half expected for it to bee more awkward and for the second hand embarrassment to be worse, but you managed to write in in a way that wasn't over the top and still provided a realistic (as realistic as we can assume a scenario like this would play out) scene. So thank you for once again making the week long wait worth it.

Yes~ I personally feel it would be too unrealistic for them to tell absolutely EVERYTHING in one go~ (Y/N) has had a traumatic time and if they were to just unleash everything then she legit might run away terrified lolol. I’m happy that you perceived it as being realistic - especially when the genre is supernatural. I think, for some people, there will always be an element of cringe when it comes to talking about Vampires but I really wanted to make it as natural as possible. In this chapter, I really just wrote like - how I would react if someone were to tell me. I’d be scared but I’d require proof and I’d be curious if I was able to see substantial proof heh~ Thank you very much for honest and unbiased review of the chapter, it was refreshing to read and respond to - and I hope you have a lovely day ❤

Anonymous said: I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER WEEK FOR THIS MASTERPIECE TO REVEAL WHAT THE HECK Y/N IS?

YES MY LOVE YOU DO ❤  Hehe, thank you for reading it ❤

@moonlighthollow said: Jesus christ.... this was so worth the wait😂😍 I'm soooo inlove with this story omg thank you for writing so perfectly and amazing🙏

I’m glad you found it worth the wait ❤  Thank you so much for reading the update my love!

@lovehaniwhaimagines said: HOLY FLIPPIN SHIT. I binge-read all 20 chapters of I wont stop you just yesterday and waited until the new chapter and holy frickin cow, I LOVE IT. Please keep up the good work, I appreciate every single thing you write :) ~

I’ll keep writing for sure! Thank you so much for reading and enjoying the series love ^^ ❤

Anonymous said: You know you could actually write a book and it would sold to millions of people! You're creative stories and writing are fantastic. I love how you mix humor into your stories, especially in "I Won't Stop You". You are one of the best writers on tumblr no doubt about it. Love you~

I’m not sure about millions of people xD But maybe one day eh!? hehe~ And yes! I love to incorporate a little bit of humour, especially if one of the characters personalities is like that, it can be a great mood lifter or a change of pace throughout the story or chapter ^^ Ah, you flatter me so much ❤  thank you my love, and I love you too!

@parkheehi said: I'm so fucking happy that Y/N was not that mad at jungkook for his secret. :D do you know how many parts I won't stop you will have?? (BTW I DIED WHEN JUNGKOOK SAID 'I won't stop you' AFTER Y/N ASKED HIM IF SHE COULD  TOUCH HIS TEETH)  Don't overwork yourself and stay healthy!🤗

I have no idea how many chapters~ You guys will know when I do! ALSO THIS ISN’T THE FURST TIME JUNGKOOK HAS SAID ‘I WON’T STOP YOU’ - and actually, the reader has said it before too ;) I guess youll have to go back and read to find out where and when it was said! hehe ❤  thank you my love and I hope you’re having a great day!

@semisweetsuga said: I fukin knew you were gonna end it on a god damn cliffhanger but the update was SO GOoD I loVEd iT!

This should no longer be a surprise anymore~ I’ll gladly wear my crown for queen of cliffhangers ~ hehe, I love Kotooooo ❤

Anonymous said: I JUST ABSOLUTELY LOVE WHEN YOU HAVE "I WONT STOP YOU" SAID IN THE IWSY STORY!!!! IM SO EXCITED FOR NEXT WEEK BECAUSE IVE HONESTLY SO CONFUSED WHENEVER YOU MENTION THE AFFECT (Y/N) HAS ON PEOPLE. ❤️😍

This isn’t the first time that the title has been mentioned in the series! :3 Jungkook has said it once before and so has (Y/N)~ muhaha! I hope you’ll enjoy the storyline when you find out what (Y/N) is ❤  thank you so much for reading!

Anonymous said: HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME! I HAVE BEEN WAITING LIKE THE WHOLE FUDGING BOOK TO FIND OUT WHY SHE TINGLES, AND THEN YOU JUST SNATCH IT OUT OF MY GRASP AND SAY NOPE YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER FUDGING WEEK TO KNOW THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW (I know I sound really sad) Ugh 😑 at least you know how to keep your readers along for the ride

Because my dear, I am evil and I enjoy inflicting pain ❤  heh~ Thank you so much for reading and I hope you’ll enjoy the future chapters!

@pandafish said: A very intense and dramatic reveal!  I can't want to hear about their history!

Thank you so much my dear! I hope you’ll enjoy it :D

@animeimmortal said: I shit you not i have never been this mad before. The other cliffhangers? Fine ill just deal with it. but this one? LET ME LIVE FOR ONCE I BEG YOU JUST ONE CHAPTER WITHOUT A CLIFFHANGER PLEASE DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE FROM THE LACK OF KNOWLEDGE I AM SO FRUSTRATED I NEED THE REST GOD PLEASE OMG ❤ love you ❤

U mad bro? :3 tehe~ But thank you s always for reading it despite wanting to kill me ❤  I love you too!!

Anonymous said: When she asked to touch his fangs and he was like 'go ahead I won't stop you' I literally had to refrain from shouting TITLE REFERENCE! BOOM!

This isn’t the first time that the title has been mentioned in the series! Jungkook has said it before and so has the reader ;) But it was probably less obvious because I like to slip in those things to see if anyone picks up on it~ heh^^

Anonymous said: *glares at you author* I was this close to knowing. NOW I HAVE TO WAIT 7 MORE DAYS TO GET MY ANSWER TO WHY I'M VAMPNIP!!! GRRAGH>:( But on the bright side, this chapter wasn't as angsty as I feared! Hooray! :) *but I'm still mad at you hmph*- love Vampnip anon

*glares back at you and smiles* muhaha~ Don’t be mad at me because I love you very much ❤  hehe thank you so much for reading it my dear!

Anonymous said: AAAHHH I've waited so long for this IWSY Chapter *^* My jaw dropped when "I" called the Queen 'bitch' >.< I also really wanted to read about her finding out that the Jeon's are the royal family and her beloved Jungkook is a PRINCE <3 maybe in the next part~(?)

Haha yes! You called the Queen a bitch! c: But it can be forgiven I guess due to the circumstances lol ^^ YES MAYBE SO! ❤  thank you for reading the update dear ^^

@omelys-space said: Once again such a great update ❤ I am glad that they all opened up to her and that she had her time to freak out but calmed down pretty soon after that  Excited to see what she is now and again gotta give some love to Serrena  She is such a babe 😍 Thank you for your hard work and till next week ❤

Ahh thank you so much my love ❤  I’m happy that you enjoyed it and I hope you’ll look forward to next week too! ^^

Anonymous said: You always leave me crying, my heart full yet broken. Every Tuesday. And it's okay because art takes time.

Ahh you make me sound like such an emotional abuser :c I don’t mean to break your heart! *hugs* hehe~ thank you so much for reading the chapter dear ❤

@deboracorrea25 said: OMG!!! Perfect, simply perfect! I just love the way you write,  the way you make us feel all the emotions of the characters. I could feel the surprise, the anger, the acceptance, and even the love. I couldn't imagine this to be better, and I know next week chapter of "I won't stop you" will be flawless too. Thank you again for writing this fanfic. Love you!

sdfghj you’re too sweet for your own good, i’m so glad that you could feel all the emotions that everyone in the chapter was feeling ^^ thank you so much for reading it and for looking forward to next week - I’ll do my best!! ❤  I love you too :D

@mocking-butts said: OH MY GOD IM SCREAMING FOR THIS CHAPTER~!! I was literally at the edge of my seat when they were telling her and oh my god I almost cried and I need it to be next week I want to know so badly I love this story so much teach me the ways oh wise one. I love this story so much I can't even right now.

It’s only 6 days away now! *sweats* lolol c: Thank you so much for loving the story, I really really appreciate it that ❤

@fashionkilla124 said: I am SO FUKIN DONE WITH IWSY. I WAS CRYIN AT FIRST BUT HAD ME DYIN AT TGE END I CANT JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL.😩😩😂😂

*pats your head gently* there there my love, its okay~ ❤

@kookies-hoe said: ARGHHHHH 'I won't stop you' JUNGKOOK YOU TEASEEEE AND ALSO HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, THE CLIFFHANGER 😭😭😭😂

Ahhhh but it’s not the first time that the title has been mentioned in the series!Both Jungkook and the reader have said it before :3 thank you for reading it my lovely!

@mysr3 said: SARAAAA!!! I LOVE YOU!!! You saved JK heart and my heart at the same time This chapter I love it. The details are amazingly well portray and I love the humor you threw in there to emphasize Y/N characters in the state she is in or her personality in general. ahhh I love your writing! But you just ripped my heart out dying to know the whole story! I was so sure you would reveal today! I thought I had nailed how today chapter would turned out but I was wayyy offff lol Well played my love ❤❤❤

I’m glad I could save your heart and rip it out at the same time hehe ❤  I’m so happy that you could feel everyone’s response and their personalities in the chapter too ^^ Thank you for reading it dear and I hope you have a wonderful day!

Anonymous said: THAT ITALICIZED I WONT STOP YOU I SCREAMED BIIITTTCCCHHH YAAAAASSSS 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I love it SO MUCH also the garlic bread part I died that was so fuckjng funny and then the to be continued 😭😭😭😭 y u do dis 2 mE ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

This isn’t the first time that the title has been mentioned in the series! Both Jungkook and the reader have said it before c: LOL I chuckled at the garlic bread reference when I was writing it haha (i’m so pathetic lol) Thank you for reading it despite the frustration of waiting ❤

Anonymous said: If you keep ending IWSTY chapters like that I'm going to explode. It's been continuous cliffhangers omg. I love the story and I can't wait for the next chapter!!❤ love you

Please don’t explode, that would make me mega sad :( And yes - continuous cliffhangers are kind of my thing? my style? lolol I’m sorry but it is what it is! :P Thank you very much for reading and I love you too pumpkin ❤

Anonymous said: okay SARA what the absolute HECK why must you play with our feelings that way?? i really thought we were going to get the tea ☕️ on what the reader is but NO ahhhh lovely chapter though omg 11/10 as always!!!!

Because I love to play and toy with people’s emotions~ does that make me a bad person? c: lolol thank you for reading and enjoying the chapter my love!

@doubletroublesince1994 said: I didnt expect this reaction at all! I thought she'll stay mad for 2 or 3 chapters before finally accepting it 😂😂 On a side note, I particulary loved this chapter because Ive been waiting for the declaration since day 1! Can't wait for tge 2nd part

Ahahaha I hope you still enjoyed it though my love! And it makes me really happy to hear that you’re looking forward to the next part too! Have a wonderful day babe ❤

Anonymous said: Oh my gosh this chapter was so good!!!! I can't believe that Jungkook finally told Y/N!  Thank you for writing this amazing series. ♡♡ - self care anon (and yeah, I'm trying to take care of myself. The routine is the most helpul part. Love you!)

Hi there self care anon! I’m glad to know that you’re still taking care of yourself and that my series can attribute to that self care routine ❤  And I’m also really happy and thankful to know that you enjoyed the chapter, thank you so much for reading it and I hope you continue to take good care of yourself ❤

Anonymous said: O.o Oh mai gawd Sara, that was sooo good. IWSY part 21, (y/n) stays!!! Yess!!! I've been so excited for today, I was so anxious to see whether or not (y/n) runs out on Jungkook and I'm so glad this part ended the way it did. Without a doubt, IWSY is the main reason I put up with tuesdays. ily soo much! can't wait for next part! - army anon

Hello army anon! I’m so glad to know that you enjoyed the new part ^^ and yes! (Y/N) was never going to run away or leave Jungkook - she loves him too much :D I love you too and thank you so much for reading it!

@audreymv said: MAMA IS ABOUT TO GIVE STORYTIME WOAH.  This was a roller coaster of a chapter like she yelled at them and she was angry wow and then like wow next thing ya know is she is apart of the ancestral line. Maybe her parents died by mistake. Ooo it's getting interesting

STORY TIME WITH SERRENA TURN UP! lolol~ Thank you once again for reading the new update and I hope you’ll enjoy next weeks too! Have a great day my love ❤

@btsfanficss said: What the heck I swear I was following you this entire time :o BUT ANYWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EXISTING I LOVE IWSY SO MUCH IVE BEEN FOLLOWING IT FOR SO LONG ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

That’’s okay my dear don’t worry! A lot of the time I assume I’m following people but it turns out that I’m not so I totally understand xD Thank YOU for existing too and thank you so much for reading IWSY ❤

Anonymous said: Not gonna lie, I squealed like a fangirl when Jungkook said, "I won't stop you" LOL. But you're seriously killing me every week sara! I die every Tuesday, then get resurrected the next Tuesday just so I can't read the next chapter 😂 UGH AND AGAIN? REALLY SARA?  IM STILL WAITING TO FIND OUT WHAT Y/N IS 😭😂  I'm hoping the next chapter will be nice and long for me to indulge in 😉... and not gonna lie, I'm scared of the idea of vampires, BUT I REALLY WANT ME A VAMPIRE JUNGKOOK OMG 😜 - 7:45 Anon

Did you know that this wasn’t the first time that Jungkook said I Won’t Stop You? The reader has actually said it before too c: lolol And don’t worry - the next chapter will probably be around 7k words (just like this chapter was), because it’s essentually the chapter that I explain the lore I’ve created/decided upon ❤ AND SAME I REALLY WANT A VAMPKOOK and I also want Vampire Vmin too lolol~~ Thank you so much for reading the new chapter as always 7:45 anon ❤

Anonymous said: YESSS I WONT STOP YOU AAAh. This made my day lol , I love you!!!! Have a great day c:

Did you know that this wasn’t the first time that Jungkook said I Won’t Stop You? The reader has actually said it before too c: hehe ^^ I love you too and thank you so much for reading my dear!

@ineffabl-y said: IM SHAKEN OMFG but like WHEN IT SAID THE TITLE I SCREAMED also you should use this thing called interactivefics and it lets the reader insert their name inside the fic and I love it!!! just a suggestion tho ANYWAYS CANT WAIT TO BE THIRSTY FOR THIS FIC TILL NEXT TUESDAY <3

Did you know that this wasn’t the first time that Jungkook said I Won’t Stop You? The reader has actually said it before too c: That’s good that there’s a site like that but I think for now I’ll be staying on tumblr because if I moved and started uploading somewhere else, people might get confused :( Thank you so much for reading my love and I hope you have a good day!

@ohheyitsebonyrose said: Saraaaaaaaa my queen. That part was amazing. I'm so glad the protagonist knows of vampires now ^.^ IM SO CURIOUS TO SEE WHAT SHE IS!!

Yes she finally knows! What a relief hehe ^^ Thank you so much for thinking that it was amazing! I hope you’ll enjoy next week too my love ^^

@theninjachan said: I die every Tuesday and rise again every Tuesday. Thank you. Chapter 21 was a delight (cont.) Oh and “Go ahead; I won’t stop you”  Nut bust x10000000000

Did you know that this wasn’t the first time that Jungkook said I Won’t Stop You? The reader has actually said it before too c: Hehe, thank you so much for reading it my love and I hope you’re having an amazing day!

Anonymous said: I CANT TAKE NO MORE. THIS TUESDAY TO TUESDAY IS KILLING ME. I JUST WANT Y/N AND JUNGKOOK TO BUMP UGLIES AND BE HAPPY. BUT THIS CHAPTER WAS SO INFORMATIVE AND INTERESTING LIKE I WAS LIKE AHHHHH SNAP ITS GOIN DOWN NOW. But on a real note like this story is my shit. I don't mind waiting every week but I do. But like I don't. But then again I do. I'm just confused and I need to know what up with y/n cuz my theories are hella wild and I need the tea ☕️. I love you so much! 💜 ~LilKookieAnon

BUMP UGLIES AND BE HAPPY LMAO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LIL KOOKIE ANON :3 I love you too and don’t worry, all will be explained in time, I promise you!! Have a wonderful day my dear and thank you so much :3

Anonymous said: Wait, so since Serrena is older then Jeonju does that make her a cougar?  🤔😂

I mean, I guess so c: A hella cougar tho! hehe~~

Anonymous said: I HAVE NO WORDS. That chapter was amazing!!!!!! I'm jungshook. But in all honesty I really want everyday to be Wednesday!! *sigh* I'm so excited for chapter 22! -Tall anon

Thank you so much my dear! That means so much to me Tall anon :D I’m so happy you enjoyed it!!

Anonymous said: How long do you think I Won't Stop You is going to be because honestly I need it to be as long as possible!! I absolutely love it

I have no idea how long it will be but it won’t be ending any time soon ^^ you guys will know as soon as I do! thank you so much for reading and enjoying it my dear ^^

Anonymous said: OH MY GOD I LITERALLY SANK DOWN IN MY SEAT WHEN HE SAID "I WON'T STOP YOU" ITS LIKE YOU MADE ALL OF THESE CHAPTERS JUST TO SAY THAT ONE PHRASE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IM SCREAMING

Did you know that this wasn’t the first time that Jungkook said I Won’t Stop You? The reader has actually said it before too c: It will be a reoccurring sentence throughout! I hope you’ll be able to find them all c: hehe I love you so much too and I’m so happy you enjoyed the chapter!!

@jynxy24 said: I hate you so much, Sara. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEE AND JUST AS SHE WAS ABOUT TO TELL?! COME ONNNNNNNNNNNNNN! (Reader was adorable with the way she was asking question :3) I swear when I saw that cliffhanger, I was like, "Wha- Uh- Sara!" ISTG I'M SO CONFUSED AND FRUSTRSTED😂😂😂 Staph torturing me, Sara😂

Awww don’t hate me because I LOVE YOU very much c: And you should know by now that I love to torture you c: But thank you very much for reading the new chapter Jynxy my love ^^

Anonymous said: God damn it you know like what even what the actual fuck. I am more than shook rn ok. I am relieved nothing too bad happened but I am on edge now with that cliffhanger (& all others). I love it & dislike it (I don't like using hate cuz it's a strong word u kno). I'm sure u get that a lot tho lol. I am so excited for the next part oml I'm so eager to find out what the reader is & y she makes vamps feel things. It sucks to wait but I am really looking forward to the next part 💕 take care 💕

I do get it a lot haha it’s a weird feeling to know that people love and hate me at the same time lolol xD Thank you so much for reading and I’m sorry about the frustration! I hope you’re having an awesome day my dear ^^

@ananyak26 said: Ok I love this chapter!!! How can Serrena  be so savage AND sweet at the same time?!.. And jungkook... Ahhh.. Jungkook . Great job as usual author-nim!!!

She’s a badass mum indeed! Thank you so much my love and I’m so happy you enjoyed the new chapter!

Anonymous said: Love the 'I Won't Stop You' series! I found it a few weeks back and it's amazing!!! Always looking forward for each Tuesday (well Wednesday for me since I'm 7 hours ahead of you)

Ahhh thank you so much sweetie! I’m so happy you found it and that you’re enjoying it ^^ And ugh, damn timezones, they ruin everything!! lol I hope you’re having an amazing day ^^

@angelbeats47 said: YO SARA!!! I'm really getting angry reading I Won't Stop You!!! Like seriously you're writing is fantastic and I can't handle this anymore.... I literally threw my pillow as I finished reading the latest chapter 😡😡😡😡 THIS STORY IS TOO GOOD! I'M GETTING MAD BECAUSE I GOTTA WAIT ANOTHER WEEK FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER 😫😫😫😩😩😩 ugh so good so good 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

Hiya doll! :3 You only have to wait another 6 days so it’s not too far away right? c: hehe, thank you so much for reading and I’m sorry it makes you angry :P I hope you’ll enjoy the next chapter!!

Anonymous said: I die every Tuesday bc of your clifghangers!!! Asdfhklhdf your work is so good,  i literally binge read all of 'i won't stop you' yesterday and its killing me inside!! Also, a part of me wants yoongi to fall in love with her and become a better person but i also want her to end up with jungkook ahhhhh can u feel my pain T__T

Awh thank you so much my dear! Glad to know that you’re enjoying the story and I’m sorry about the frustration you feel heh ^^ Have an awesome day/night!!

[bigbrotherorre]

FINAL EPISODE: “DENNIS IS SUCH A KING” - ALI THE REST OF THE GAME.

WEEK 13 

if someone who doesn't love me wins this week then bye bye ashvika 

annoyed that sammy nominated me because i kept him safe last week whereas i could have just as easily flipped to keeping alivia and he could've left...but more than that, i'm annoyed at his speech. i dont think he should've used "you nommed me" as an excuse bc that's lame and he was the first to nom me and i nommed him back so we were even, and then i let him have veto pick when he was nommed and i made sure he got taken off. also conversation is a two way street and i dont see him trying to make a conversation with me either, he could have just said the real reason....i love hearing about how good of a player he thinks i am.... the worst case scenario is if bryce or zeezo win, i think even if the noms stay the same that i have a good chance of staying? granted that autumn and ali don't decide to turn on me and evict me 

why is bryce spreading lies :( i didn't tell ali to nominate sammy.... 

ive made a lot of mistakes this game and there all coming at me now.. my position in the game is terrible and i can blame it on ppl playing not to their win condition or on just the wrong ppl winning comps at the wrong time, but ultimately i could have tried harder convincing ppl to see the light or to do better in challenges so ultimately its on me. feeling really hopeless this week even tho i avoided being a preveto nom i think ill be a post one if literally anyone but me wins veto. and i flopped veto (cwl). i cant wait for after the game for ali to admit that he did tell me that ashvika pushed for sammy to be nommed. order in which id vote ppl zeezo- always worked with me and if she makes it to the end she truly DID THAT ashvika- really took control of the game with her hoh win and after jose left smartly picked up the goats and became the biggest threat randy- a king love us working with/against each other throughout the game and even tho he was voted out im not one to discredit buyback winners autumn- never spoke to me but guess she didnt need to KASDHFK ali- fakest person ive ever met dennis- knows how to get to f2 at least sammy- ignores obvious facts and always makes the wrong move  but good at comps so wooh (me teas too tho...)

somehow i didnt get nommed but like so sad what the heck zeezo is going home like why is everyone so jealous that shes prettier and funnier than them :( why cant we all be her goats <3 i guess its good bc like i cant win with zeezo in the game and i can vote to keep her still, but honestly if i lose in f2 with zeezo itd still be fun bc she has had my back all game :] I AM SO SAD UGHHHH GOD HATES GAYS AND HES TAKING MY TWO WOC QUEENS BACK TO BACK. Now i have ashvika who is a queen but not my queen!! And autumn yikes hates me always :(

SORRY IVE BEEN GONE!!! I did one video confessional for Week 11 and just like never posted it lmao but I will haha and that's all behind me. But anyway I just have so many feelings. Live  night is about to begin, me and Zeezo's war is finally concluding, IM STILL TRYING TO GET MY FIRST COMP WIN, and I'm trying to protect my allies at all cost. Some cracked shit is about to go down and I'm so excited and so so glad I took a nap before this cause I'm ready for anything wooo

RANDY: WIN SAMMY: ... ALI: FAKEST PERSON IVE EVER MET MAYBE TALKS A BIG GAME AND SAYS HES SUPER NICE AND EMOTIONAL BUT SUDDENLY CAN TURN THAT OFF. HE WOULD BE A GOOD VILLAIN BUT HE ACTS NICE AND DOESNT OWN IT AND MAYBE ITS JUST BC ITS SO SOON BUT I HOPE HE CHOKES AND HAS HAYFEVER FOREVER! WHAT EVEN IS HAYFEVER??? HORSE BOY AUTUMN: NEVER SPOKE TO ME BUT NICE DENNIS: FORGOT TO PUT SOMEONE ON THE LIST, KNEW HIS WAY TO F2 AND IF HE DOESNT TAKE CREDIT FOR THINGS ICON AND ID VOTE FOR HIM.

AFTER THE TRIPLE EVICTION...

OK BUT DAT TRIPLE DOE http://media2.giphy.com/media/xUA7aViRhBQPzXNAAM/giphy.gif It was dramatic, over the top, emotional, satisfying, show stopping, gut wrenching- literally everything you want out of a triple. I... don't feel bad for Breezo lmao, not after all the messiness they've caused. But doing Ashvika dirty is literally the hardest choice I've had to make in Orre. Sis I am so so sorry. I should've thrown you a vote but you know how Randy is and you really know how Dennis is. I just--- that was something I like wasn't prepared to ever do, break Ashvika's heart. But like in my beautiful dark twisted mind? It was perfect because I knew I couldn't go to the end w/ Ash but I was never going to nominate her. So here we are rip ALSO LAB AND BREEZO ALL SITTING IN JURY??? BIIIIIIITTTCCHHHHH https://media.giphy.com/media/zcAii7T9JXezS/source.gif If you're reading this, you know I sure did say I would wipe that whole group out and send them to jury and it really did come to pass. John sure did gas all of them up to win and I sure did tell him in my Week 10 goodbye message that they were all bout to walk in behind him. So in the spirit of prophesizing, let it be known that Auli aka Ali and I will make Final 3 because we are the strategic dynamic duo y'all slept on. Like correct me if I'm wrong: we've been on the right side of all 8 "merge" votes (there's no word for like opposite of pre-jury lmao), we ain't been on block since Week 6/7 and it's now Week 14, and we've downplayed our iconicism left and right so we're the last duo standing at Final 5, and no one wants to take a shot at us. BUT YALL STILL SLEEP CAUSE THE MIST IS THAT STRONG. That's ok though! When Randy and Sammy walk into jury next y'all will see Also I'm  dead at how much jury hates Ali hahaha. Deadass he has to stay in the game for safety reasons. Like soooo many jurors wanna kill him. That's my ride or die though so I can't let that happen. Anyway I still feel like shit for obeying Randy, which hurt Ashvika, made Dennis cry, and further dragged Ali's corpse. But the good news is woooo it's Final 5 and these boys all want to take Auli to the end. So do I NEED to win this HOH? No not really. Am I still praying and pleading with God like I do before every comp? Absolutely https://media1.tenor.com/images/1a11748f0c7ce30ab4afd057fab66751/tenor.gif?itemid=5677211

Me when I shocked the nation and won HOH and finally had power in the house after 13 weeks https://78.media.tumblr.com/2a8c6d7cc298da364a847f8f9d767c7c/tumblr_opiih6Z7tB1ub3fcfo1_500.gif Me then using said power to target my baby Randy for the greater good https://media.giphy.com/media/hic9t15zsdwfC/giphy.gif And now me that I'm selling my entire family, land, soul, and wig collection to get Dennis to keep me and kill Sammy so that I'm not Ika Wonged because I know for a fact Ali would take me to F2 and Dennis would be a dumbass not to take me too. AND I ALWAYS BELIEVED IF I WENT UP A FOURTH TIME THAT WOULD BE THE TIME I GO UP ON THE BLOCK AND DONT COME BACK DOWN SO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DENNIS BE STRATEGIC AND KEEP ME https://i.pinimg.com/originals/23/53/9d/23539d4ab6c13adab50940426d73ed6e.gif

[AFTER F4 EVICTION]

WAIT WHAT HOW AM I ALIVE?? https://media.giphy.com/media/TZ388aYpsLMcM/giphy.gif AND HOW THE FUCK DID I MAKE FINAL 3??? https://yiaelxzosjw9p4bs-zippykid.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/happy-crying.gif Pray for me if I win Final HOH cause fun fact: I, the strategic legend, have no clue who to fucking take to the end and that's the biggest gag of the entire season BECAUSE I DIDN'T PLAN OUT THIS FAR GODDAMMIT AND I WISH I HAD. Ok that's not entirely true- I knew I should either sit next to Dennis or Ali because ya know contingency plans matter. BUT NOW??? Bitch ion know I just wanna win

CLICK HERE & HERE TO SEE DENNIS’ VIDEO DIARY ROOMS!

i've never seen a better reflection of the emotional rollercoaster that is my mental state than these two being filmed less than 12 hours apart jasldfa

CLICK HERE AND HERE TO SEE ALI’S VIDEO DIARY ROOMS!

okay i have lots of post finale thoughts but i need to type them up tomorrow. i just hope the jury knows how sorry I am if I ever upset them, because I love them all so much and would never want that :(

time for my post finale wrap up and.... whewie. This is so upsetting because, I just did this for all stars. Like it's looking like my track record is LITERALLY going to be 2nd 9th 2nd 2nd 2nd, I CANT COME 2ND AGAIN. I really can't take this. Here is the bigger problem though and this is why Orre will be my last game whether I win or not. I can't keep playing these games when I upset so many people. Like it honestly broke my heart yesterday hearing how much I upset people like Bryce & Ashvika, people I love SOOOOOOO much. I don't want to upset people. Like... what upset me about finale is I don't think the jurors realise that.... I didn't just upset people for the sake of it and ahhh. Honestly, I'm really upset, like not even that I'm coming second but that I upset people. So with that said, I really apologise to the jurors. I got the impression that I hurt you all so bad that you are giving me 2nd as like.... punishment? And while I hate that, if I hurt you all that bad I really owe you all an apology. Anywho, since this is definitely my last game, I've played 183 days worth of games to just come 2nd, and that's just too much. I'm too flawed of a person and player to continue playing these games and just keep coming 2nd. Like it just hurts. so yeah, i'm sad but mainly because this is deja vu. I'm so proud of Dennis for winning, he is such a sweet genuine guy and when he was complimenting me during the finale, it was the nicest thing I've ever heard and I'm so greatful. No matter my game or his, I'd be happy to see Dennis represent our season.

Can I just say... Dennis is such a king. What a kind-hearted, genuine guy. A true king.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH DENNIS’ VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

okay so I lost.... and I'm weirdly at peace with it. I know I answered the jury questions terribly and I had... some jurors that would never have it in them to vote for me and would actively campaign against me. Dennis is a king, and in a cast with toxicity and SUCH bitterness, I think he is a phenomenal representation for the season. Otherwise, I am really honoured to get Ashvika's vote, she is such a deserving POTS, and to get POTS' vote is always an honour. Autumn and Jose are amazing friends and I am so happy to have got to work with them, John is a player with SUCH potential and he is WINNING BOTS & Zeezo I'm really honoured to get her vote too! For the others, Bryce is a KING and so is Blake (they both seemed really upset by me so I hope we can be friends). Lynn I never spoke to and seems... very bitter about the season's result, but I hope she gets over it because she is also a QUEEN. Randy is a funny one and I'm starting to worry all his friend talk was just him playing into my emotional side, but he is a good egg really I know it. Sammy is a ghost king. I kinda want to end on Alivia. Alivia is a person whose personality is obviously very different to mine and the way she speaks to me and others really upsets me a lot of the time. However, her bitterness against me is understandable and I hope she gets over it, because she defines herself by anger and bitterness when she is such a funny and likable person and doesn't need to do that. but woo... to wrap stuff up, I'm so grateful for Nicholas & Julia for casting me, Owen & Emily for being amazing.... OH, I forgot what I wanted to say. Autumn is a queen, a legend and amazing. She is honestly soo soo amazing, like... someone I really admire and see as a rolemodel? she is inspirational, a queen and a legend. Dennis is the nicest, most well intentioned guy ever SO sweet and really just a genuinely nice guy. I have made lasting friendships with some members of this cast and I'm so happy. so yeah.... i'll probably do another one of these in like a day or so, but if not.... ali out woo

we love coming to jury and being told about my ""showmance""".... wanna die jadfkl. my only showmance was to snakery, my way of life. blake was robbed but also is a broccoli. last words? autumn and dennis are my faves, best F3 ever.

FINAL CAST ASSESSMENT

[guys-chill]

My Demons are PTA Moms

Hey so as you know, I love PTA mom jokes and like making names for my friends ect. Well sometimes, when shit hits the fan and there are lots of negative thoughts, so I address each thought as if it were some stuck up lady from the PTA. Here’s my “convo” that happened last night ( I was talking to my friend and basically texted her my thoughts) bc I think it’s funny. If you wanna skip the buildup and go straight to moms, skip the first bit and start where I say YOOT. Theres alot.. yall dont gotta read i know that its alot alot

TW for mentions of rape

Set the scene: My mind is wandering, open to passing thoughts

Me: I wonder why sometimes your brain thinks about nothing. Like, there are so many things to think about, yet I stare at the ceiling thinking about nothing just kind of floating in empty mind space

Me: Now im thinking about [ex bf.] and how i want to work through my [ex bf.] memories with you and [friend’s boyfriend who is also my friend] and how that’s unfair bc its like, yall dont exist to listen to my problems and im thinking i need to face them and get through that wall of pain. Like they’re motly breaking up memories atm. Im trying to avoid them because its hard

Friend: He and I are your friends and part of our job as friends is to listen

Me: :^)

Me: Ye but like no i feel so selfish when we are about me

Friend: But you shouldn’t

Me: You know that meme that’s like “I feel uncomfortable when we are about me”. Mood

Friend: No I don’t

Me: Rip. Yeet bc i wanna face them but i know it’s gonna have me breaking down and I want a hug and like yall aren’t responsible for me or like i j feel bad

Friend: It’s ok dude we’re here for you

Me: But i know i gotta face them but im putting it off rn bc i don’t wanna fall asleep breaking down but why cant i just do it like UGGGH. Like with opening up my feelings door I’ve opened up remembering that i blocked kinda or avoided ahhh lol my mind is riptastic and sad rn but my heart is only mildly and i dont wanna be sadddsdddddd and i avoid my shit. [Her bf] is right that its hard to face your shit. And I feel dumb for not. And its like just let the suffering commense, you’ll be fine later

Friend: I’m sorry

Me: Why am i so FUCKING needy. Lol sorry im like this

Friend: You’re not needy my dude!

Me: My brain is like !OOh idea! Lets want someone to love you and hug you and all this shit to be really extra even though it doesn’t even matter that much bc who gives a fuck yo people have they’re own lives but you know I think it sounds like a GREat way to make things difficult haha fuck u

Me: Lol i said i wasn’t gonna get into this but look at me goooooooooo. YEET

Friend: Oh boy you’re ok

Me: Yo its fine god im im a messsss yoot AAHH YOOT THATS SO FUNNY

Friend (Prolly like oh boyyy at this point): You’re gonna be ok I’m sorry

Me: Wanna hear my inner dialouge lol YOU KNOW WHAT IM GOOD AT MEMES YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT

Me: Ye thank you I appreciate that

Friend: If you want to share

Me: I appreciate you listening to me

Friend: Any time

Me: Why is my mind just like saying rando shit its like Haha you fucking psycho kill yourself, and its like no Pam, that’s not even what were talking about rn. Like who invited you. Yeah I know no one invited me to my own party haha funny jan. Why am I a mess. But HeY at least we’ve gotten distracted

Friend: Oh boy I’m sorry

Me: “Lol im gonna kill you” thanks maureen

Friend: Why all the suicidal thoughts

Me: Im thinking of that vine of this kid awkward dancing to like trap music and his mom walks in and you can hear her mouthing like turn it down wtf. I dont even know I dont even wanna die my mind is so unoriginal. Good to know Jan, youre worthless too

Me: Like im doing that thing where i make everything a joke to not have it hit as hard

Friend: Im sorry. You’ll be ok

Me: TW rape “Lol no he didn’t rape me in the butt you insensitive bitch (me @ Clarissa)” Haha im gonna fucking kill myself. That one was a bit more real. I suppose both but like the kill yourself bit

Friend: Oh boy

Me: I wanna die im a mess. Tw again Youre so ugly why the fuck would he even wanna rape you haha dumb bitch got raped you dummy couldn’t even get him off lol you got him off tho...SHUT UP. lol no Way hunny this is too fun you vulnerable cunt haha fucking ill whip out any insult that has to do with sexually explicit shit come at me slut

Me: Haha im sorry

Friend: Oh boy, don’t be sorry. You’re ok. What he did was on him, it had nothing to do with you it wasn’t your fault

Me: Why they gotta say rape so much like i get it gerryanna; you’re shitty at sales pitching sell me something i dont know. God i love these moods (sarcastically)

Friend: Oh boy

Me: Haha you dumb bitch like they’re not even original. Im calling the superintendent of my mind and having them all taken off the PTA board of trustees. Fuck you Helen. Not you though [Friend] your name susan helen does not apply during breakdowns

Friend: Oh boy. Is there anything i can do

Me: Im just laying here with a pained smile on my face its not even a breakdown its a roast sesh. Nah not atm besides listen and hear the dumb shit they say

Friend: Oh boy, does it help to get it out like would writing help

Me: Yeah. God you cant even type right. Yeah you’re a secretary Jan sorry I dont have a crumbling marrage and an English degree like you. Oooooh im throwing sick burns. Im not even funny im just sad. I hope you’re laughing. Genuinely I hope its a bit funny because im a piece of trash. Ok yo you didn’t need to say that last part margaree.

Friend: Omfg

Me: God hell yeah you can take me out on trash day fucking Mmm yeah you bet id like that feeling of powerlessness and suffocation of my voice please, expand uponthis trash bag fantasy joann. Ill sit on the curb and cry myself to death you right. Fuck you got me lol I guess ill just give up now. Fool im not done yet get PUNKED Pamela. Im still here to shit on your bad insults. I hate myself, yeah i hate you too Mary Sue. Go fuck yourself; I think i might give it a shot from what i’ve heard its best in the shower and i was gonna take one tomorrow...

Friend: Oh boyyyyyy

Me: Lol yall are dumb; When they try to make their voices sound like mine but you can tell the yall is just you and the’re throwing shit at you but you see it. Im great fuck you pam

Friend: Oh gee

Me: This is good, like genuinely its like a throwdown and they’re bloody on the floor (the pta council). Fuck em, yeah fuck you too janice. “I hadta do it to em”- me at my future kid asking why i did this. Yeah i beat up Suzanne but she was a bitch anyway. Ok now stop trying to get all on my side pauleenI know you’re with them. Go with the rest of em. I bought you a luxury cruise well actually yall did bc yall are selfish and feed off sadness go drink some martinis and come back but you bet ill be fucking waiting for you, yeah ik were not done donna, but ill still be there and... “I love you”- I love you too higher sweetie who sounds like [my friend’s spirit guide] no now its my higher self but also [her]? Yeet ok bye yall

Friend: Oh boy

Me: Fuck um, Patricia decided to stay behind and keep me company. Lol im a mess. How are you things have relatively chilled. And now im being told “I love you” from someone i think me a higher power that believes in me

Friend: Eh im alright. How are you

Me: Im better. Did you enjoy that little skit my ego wants to know so it can make a production and Pam can bring her friends back and then my higher self is saying just say you love me and you’re here, “and i love you”- higher bee thank you I love you too. Idek, yes I know i’m a mess pam. I know

Friend: “Higher bee” oh could you imagine if god was just a fluffy bumble bee wanting us to love ourselves. I’m sorry you’re going through this

Me: But im a mess of glitter, spilled but pretty and not going away yeah ok no pretty is not my only worthy reason for existing but thanks. Im also friendly. Awwww thatd be so sweet. Thatd BEE so sweet. She’s beautiful

Friend: Ba dum tss

Me: Its ok i find it mildly funny. “I cant drown my demons, they’re in a pta meeting atm and dont have their pool passes handy”

Friend: Lol

Me: Haha im livingg. I love you. Thank you for listening

Friend: I love you too and any time

Me: “I love you so much” thank you giant sky bee, God thank you giant sky bee godbless. Bless yourself. How are you. Im feeling loved. I faced part of the wall yoot lol

Friend: I’m glad you’re feeling loved I’m ok

Me: Like i faced something, im here and it matters. I love you. Im glad you’re ok. What have you been doing how long was that. 12:46 to 1:20. 35-40 min. Average breakdown cycle. Nice good to know. See, its all chill after 40 min

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And thats that my guys uhh yeah i keep track of how long i break down for and it really is only about 45 minutes until your body wears itself out. I love you all