#i said bly manor would heal me and i was SO RIGHT

[elizabeth-mitchells]

actually maybe i don't need love in my life maybe i just need to rewatch dani and jamie scenes in bly manor

[sluttsxphobia]

𝗠𝗶𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫✦

𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 ☺️

𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐥𝐲

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬:

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞,𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠,𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩, 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞,𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Your POV ♥︎

He tricked me into loving him he hid his true colors from me when we first met, he tricked me into going to his house and abandoning my family. He refused to let me leave to visit my family, kept me in the bly manor for who knows how long never letting me step foot near the gate. He hit me whenever he came home drunk with quint, he hit me when I "disobeyed" him. He screamed at me for trying to leave, screamed at me for trying to love him. Forced me to become his fiancé even though we are only 16, kept me away from my phone to call for help.

"Y/n.. come here Darling.." Miles said softly his back facing me having something which seemed like a phone in his hand, I panicked because I took a good look at what he was holding which was my secret phone I his from him. I sat next to him hesitantly and swallowed the saliva that sat in my mouth nervous I stayed a good inch away from miles. He turned around showing the phone screen revealing my chat with another person which was my ex, he had anger in his eyes

And clenched his left fist turning white. "Who the hell is this?" Miles said staring deeply into my eyes never showing sign of leaving eye contact.

"My brother.." I lied trying to get away from the fact he caught me trying to ask for help, he dropped the phone on ground and stood from position on the bed and stomped on the phone with his boot harshly. He continued to smash the phones screen making sure to break it thoroughly, after he finished his attack on the phone he through it against the wall and turned to me slowly. "I told you.. NO FUCKING PHONE AND WHAT DO YOU DO BEHIND MY BACK" miles shouted getting more into my face wrapping his hands around my neck, I gasped for air as a tear shed from my eye.

"I-IM SORRY PLEASE..!" I cried trying to get out of his firm grip, he let go and dropped me on the floor scoffing and getting on his knees to my level. He lightly lifted my chin and wiped my tears he looked at me with his messy curls in his eyes, "I'm sorry baby you know how mad I get when you don't listen!" He raised his tone and kissed me harshly, "I would never hurt you that bad, I just need you to be a good girl for me right?" Miles looked me in my eyes never looking away. "Right, RIGHT ANSWER ME DAMN IT" miles shouted shaking me.

"Y-yes!.. Your right love!" I cry trying to stop trembling, he stops and kisses my forehead leaving the room.

I curl into a ball and cry for what seemed like hours and held my knees tightly, he tricked me into leaving my family and I will never forget the day he took me from my home.

...I was head over heals for him...

...He told me the things he would do for me...

... He said we would be some place care free...

...we would have a perfect family...

...a kid, possibly a pet...

...a 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞...

...he took me from my home to trap me his hands...

...he had so much power over me...

...I was so gullible...

ᴛᴡᴏ ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴘᴀssᴇᴅ..

He continued his abuse but this time he announced to flora, ms gross, and Kate we would be getting married the next day after my 19th birthday. I wish the day never came but sadly the months went by so did the abuse and faking being happy.

The day came.. Ms grose dressed me in a fine wedding dress and a veil.

I walked down the garden faking a bright smile.. There was no escape after this.

We were stuck together and I could do nothing about it because miles made me sign myself over to him and I got no say. No one was invited but ms gross flora and Kate but Kate didn't care to show and I figure why.Flora picked up my vail from the ground while throwing flowers happily, I had to go along with it unless I would have to suffer miles yelling.

"Do you y/n l/n take miles Fairchild to be your husband?" Ms grose asked,

Miles squeezed my hands hard and I quickly said yes. "Do you miles Fairchild take y/n l/n to be your wife?"

"I do". I was officially trapped.

He picked up my Vail and kissed me passionately, I surrendered and kissed him back. We departed and ms grose and flora clapped, flora ran to hug miles tightly and cried loudly into his suit. I couldn't help but cry aswell flora was happy and sad to see her brother get married. Miles hugged her tightly and held her in his long arms comforting her, I took the chance to go inside the estate and find Kate.

I found Kate in the estate sitting on a chair with a paler face than before, I hugged Kate tightly and cried. She was like a mother figure to me (I hate her but just play along 😍) she hugged back but left me there sobbing into my wedding dress. She was drained almost everyday do I didn't expect much from her.

𝗜'𝗺 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗱

𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘁𝘄𝗼?

[soft-for-them]

the interview ♡ dani clayton x reader

anon: Hey sweetie! I’m so so happy you’re accepting Bly Manor request!!!.... my heart’s still healing. Can you write Dany x Reader? Something very fluffy please.. let your imagination run wild

please note because of prolonged break this is pretty short, i watched Bly last year so it isn’t at the forefront of my memory. anyway, i hope my queers like this. wouldn’t say it’s the fluffy-ist but i’m up for a part two.

You were running late for a job interview and like always you are flustered beyond belief, though it is through no fault of your own. You had gotten to the underground train station on time but there had been a rather lengthy delay that has now cause you to be late.

On any other given day you would have waited that long time for the train to arrive but you are in such rush that you had to run to the nearest bus stop to get on a random bus in hopes that you could make up for lost time.

You had gotten off of that bus and boarded another one, eating up all your pocket change as you did, and once you had gotten off that bus you had briskly walked to your interview.

With dishevelled hair and your borrowed floral blouse, you rush into the office waiting area and profusely apologise to the woman at the desk who looks to not care about your late arrival.

‘I very sorry I late, have I missed the interview?’ you apologise once again to the glasses wearing woman.

The woman peers up to you with a sweet but tired smile, the only type of smile a secretary would have from talking to too many people in one day.

‘Your interview isn’t yet Miss?’ she waits for you to say your name.

‘Oh, (Y/n) (l/n)!’ you reply as she makes you sign a sign in sheet.

‘Thank you, please sit down.’ the woman points at the mass of empty seats, it seems to you like you’re the first person here despite being about ten minutes late.

You say a quick ‘thank you’ to her as you had shuffle to a close by seat to her desk.

It is only you and the secretary in the waiting room. The room is quite drab for such rich owners’ offices, everything just seemed too dark and moody.

The debate has begun in your head on whether you would work in that office despite its gloomy and damn right negative feeling it has. Sure, you need a job and you would take anything but you are also glad that the job interview you are at wasn’t for an office job.

It was so lucky that you have the opportunity to even be interviewed for such good paid job and whilst most people wouldn’t want to be an over glorified babysitter you’d much rather have this job that the limited jobs women have nowadays.  

With your head held down thinking too much about the pros and cons of working a ‘normal’ office job you did realise instead of with some rich children the sound of clip-clooping heels on the ground.

You keep you head down as you here another woman speaking to the secretary, her American accent sending chills down your spine.

She more or less asks the same thing as you did and you hear her sit down near you.

For a while you both stay quite but whether it be through nerves or her just being polite, she begins talking to you.

‘Hi-‘ you look up to her shyly not looking her in the eyes, ‘I’m Dani.’

It’s so hard not to stare at her for the woman in front of you, Dani is utterly beautiful, the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.

Your little queer heart is beating too fast and you you’re sure you mouth is hanging open in pure shock.

‘(Y-y/n), nice to meet you.’ Out of pure politeness you hold out your hand.

Her lips curve up into a smile as her bigger, smoother hand encapsulates yours in a rather enthusiastic hand shake.

Is it an American thing that she’s shaking your hand so long or is she glad to see you, a random stranger?

Unknown to you Dani has be smitten with you ever since she walked in and saw you nervous looking figure. Call it gaydar but both you and Dani know straight away that neither of you are straight and it’s quite comforting that you both are near one another.

‘I’m sorry, I’m shaking your hand too much.’ She says retracting her hand from yours.

You really want to say ‘I don’t mind’ but all you do is stammer out some random words and look back down.

For the next five or so minute both of you steal glances at each other.

Dani keeps on looking at you fiddling hands, the curve of you face and how your eyes sparkle under the yellowing lights.

You keep on looking her up and down at the outfit she wears. It’s overly fancy compared to yours, her bowed blouse contrasting with her synched button up suit.

Once again you look at her but this time you both catch each other’s eyes, you quickly looking away.

‘You like what you see?’ Dani half jokes hoping that you do like what you see.

For a moment you think. If this was a gay bar or somewhere without straight people watching then you would have flirted back but you can’t out yourself in front of the desk woman. So instead you change the subject.

  ‘Why are you wearing a bum bag under such a nice suit?’

‘Bum bag? Oh, you mean my fanny pack.’ Dani rearranges her blazer to cover up the bag going across her hips.

‘I’ve lived in east London for almost ten years, we call them bum bags.’ Finally, you look up to her face.

‘Where are you originally from?’ her eyes connect with your but you don not look away this time.

‘(Place).’ You plainly say, ‘Though I do want to move somewhere less hectic.’

‘I guess it’s why you want this job.’

‘It’s good pay and in the countryside, who wouldn’t.’

‘Well that’s hope one of get the job!’ her smile is bright and it makes you blush.

.

.

Neither of you got the job.

Apparently, the secretary didn’t reprimand you both for being late was because there was already a person being interviewed.

Said person, an older woman with greying hair and a strict headteacher look, had gotten the job.

  You and Dani sit at a bar, leg almost touching as you both sip on your alcoholic drinks.

‘I think I seemed to meek.’ You say downing your drink, ‘He seemed too sad and I found it hard to look him in the eyes.’

‘It’s his loss, I would have hired you in a second over that crow looking woman.’

You giggle in delight as Dani’s hand travels down and pats your leg. You place you hand over hers making her keep her hand on you. Thankfully your hands are cover by the top of the bar so no one can see your hands connecting.

She squeezes your thigh and you both just sit there, her talking and you looking down at her hand.

  ‘It is bad that we didn’t get the job but if you want, I have some beers and a VHS player back home if you want to come and watch a film with me?’

‘I’d like that very much (y/n).’

.

.

.

haha! i’m not dead!

as said at the top, sorry this is so short. i might have to rewatch Bly again but i’m happy to take more bly manor requests.

[foreignfields]

Bly Manor rambling, ‘cause of course I need to get this out my chest.

As you all know, i’m not getting over Bly Manor, aka Dani and Jamie’s story anytime soon. Reading Henry James has made me realize how beautiful can stories be when adapted right. Because Turn of the Screw has gotten pretty horrid treatment through the years (not even plan to discuss The Turning), so It’s real nice to find someone who respects the author and the source material, and tries to do right by it. Henry James himself spent some time abroad in England, ring a bell? Exactly what the aur pair does. And I don’t know about this but apparently they were rumors of him being gay? If that is so, writing Dani as a lesbian is like, the most awesome thing anyone could ever do. Cause she gets that (short) happy ending.

It’s nothing short of incredible what Mike Flanagan, cast & crew, have done with it, and this is coming from someone who has seen, and liked Hill House, but Bly Manor, for me, is on an ambitious level of it’s own, and i’m more than thrilled to have seen it succeed, to see people talking about Owen, Hannah, Miiles, Flora, Rebecca, Henry, Edmund, Viola, Perdita, hell even Quint... they’re all great characters of their own, and I feel, they’re only enhanced by the miniseries experience, and the writing. The medium can help so much to tell a story, and a series was the best vehicle for The Haunting of Bly Manor.

Talking about Dani now, what a great character study. Her arc, accepting herself, saving the others, finding love in her life, finding Jamie. The portrayal of comphet. The Eddie jumpscares, have you ever seen jumpscares like that in horror films or tv series before? An extension of the character? The manifestation of her guilt? Never have jumpscares meant this much. It’s the work of a genius, really. And Dani, dear Dani, i’m older and it got to me a bit that she managed to find love at that age, if we go by what she said to Miles, she spent time travelling and teaching for 9 years, so hardly a teen, gives me hope. Yes, she was trying to escape from her past, and while you might be through with it, the past isn’t through with you. But she opened up about that, and that was the first step to heal, and to love. Frankly I love that quote about finding someone who might help burn away the shadows. Isn’t that what we all look for? To be understood? To be seen?

Dani Clayton, the audience surrogate, the Bly Manor mystery is solved thanks to her heroic self. If we go back to the source material, the governess in the story doesn’t get a redemption arc, but in Bly Manor, she does. She’d get the prize for being the most haunted character so I think it’s only fair she got to live 13 happy years with Jamie, it’s the least she deserved. Girl spend barely a couple of days without Eddie only to be possessed by Lady Viola. Also, how healthy their relationship is? They set a high bar. It’s fun how that can be traced back to Henry James, the love depicted in Sir Edmund Orme made me think a lot about Dani & Jamie, how about if, a handful of stories, from now on focus on that instead? External evil forces are driving the drama, not the relationship or sexuality of the characters involved? Cause it can be pretty tiring to see silly drama when you could craft a more convincing healthy love story instead. (I don’t mean it for every story, it’s just that, we see a lot of lazy writing nowadays, Bly Manor is not lazy, like at all, there’s a purpose for the dramatics, if there’s such a thing) and Horror and Romance, finest genres to explore this. I’m in love with the concept.

And man, the ending, bittersweet, and tragic, and just the perfect amount of everything. I wouldn’t have liked it any other way. People who say it’s a BYG are not seeing the big picture. After I was done watching it I felt numb, like it was too much, a while after, I cried of course. We spend 9 episodes living with those characters and then all of a sudden, the protagonist is dead. She sacrifices herself, for the one person she loves. It’s too much to take in if you ask me. And then you think, you rewind, Jamie said Dani was stronger than she thought, and Dani, on top on her anxiety, her fears, her guilt, she managed to do the right thing. She refused to lose Jamie, refused to live in a world without her, so she made the utmost sacrifice, to protect her. If Dani was the lady of the lake, she’d make sure no one would take Jamie. Because love, is the opposite of possession (the commentary on relationships is ugh, mindblowing honestly). Even if Dani was losing herself little by little, she never forgot that. That’s why her spirit lived on, cause like Flora said, dead doesn’t mean gone. And Jamie lives to tell that tale. That’s how you are remembered in the end, by being a story.

[litniche]

Love Will Find a Way

Read Ch. 9 on ao3

Dani x Jamie fanfic

CHAPTER 9

 One of the things Dani loved about Jamie was her nomadic nature. When Dani had first enjoyed the privilege of visiting Jamie’s studio, that nature had been evident in the lack of possessions scattered about. The space was lived in and boasted Jamie’s green thumb, but was otherwise rather spare. That was, until Dani had moved in. Somehow, she had accumulated far more than she had meant to over the last few months. One might need a mug here, a towel there, a book...or several. And, she really      really    had gone to town hoarding clothes.

 Jamie stared at the overstuffed closet. “You have a problem."

 “I knoooow,” Dani sighed, exasperated with herself. “I can’t help it. I see something cute and I just can't walk away. I’m marrying you after all,” she said with a sly grin.

 Jamie turned back to look at Dani with a raised brow. “Owen would be proud, Poppins.”

 “Okay, ouch, actually.”

 Jamie grinned, chuckling under her breath as she shook her head. “Right. How do we do this?”

 “You hold up an item and I’ll tell you if it’s to be donated or kept?”

 “Sounds like a plan.”

 The closet took them less time than Dani had feared, but more than she’d hoped. By mid-afternoon,the Wingrave's new cook brought lunch to the pair along with Miles and Flora who had insisted on coming. Dani agreed that the children could stay as long as they lent a hand. Under her direction, the children helped them clean and pack until the sun was beginning to set.  

 “What is your flat like in America?” Miles asked as the day came to a close.

 “Well, for starters, we call it an apartment,” Dani began. “It’s cozy. Bigger than this place, but much smaller than the manor.”

 Flora smiled as she twirled in the middle of the room, bumping into Jamie. The gardener retaliated by picking Flora up and turning her upside down to hang her by her ankles. The little girl squealed in delight before Jamie plopped her down on the bed beside Dani. She curled into the au pair, cuddling her side. Dani felt her heartstrings pull. She would miss them so much. And so soon.

 “Sounds nice,” Miles nodded, smiling a little sadly.

 “You know,” Dani began as waved for the boy to come closer. She took the pair of jeans he had been folding for her and placed it in a bag meant for donation. “You can always visit us and see it for yourself.”

 “That would be splendid!” Flora interjected. “I’ve always wanted to see America!”

 “Then it’s settled,” Dani smiled at her, then Miles. “I’ll tell your uncle that you’re welcome anytime.”

 Miles and Flora beamed at Dani. Jamie caught the au pair’s eye. There was a hint of mirth in the gardener’s eyes, but she also looked pleased.

 “Are we sure about inviting gremlins into our new home?”

 “We’re not gremlins!” Flora argued.

 Jamie squinted her eyes at the girl. “That’s just what a gremlin would say. All right, you lot --that’s enough work for the day. There’s only a bit of tidying left and honestly, the place looks better than the day I moved in already. Miles and Flora: do us a favor and take down the rubbish. Then we’ll pack the donations into the truck. Got it?”

 Miles saluted and Flora quickly mimicked him. They darted for the bins and ran down the stairs at an alarming pace, leaving Dani to clench her fist and bite it while Jamie laughed. “They’re after matching your ankle, I reckon.”

 “They want to turn my hair grey,” Dani sighed.

 Jamie seemed to consider it. “Can’t say that wouldn’t be fetching.”

 “And you call me a flirt.”

 “Two to tango, Poppins,” Jamie said with a wink. She bent to grab a few bags meant for donation, setting them aside for Flora and Miles to take down. “Let’s get you downstairs.”

 “I’m okay on my own now,” Dani said with an insincere roll of her eyes. After only a week of Jamie’s care and all-around babying of her ankle, Dani felt all but healed.

 “Humor me,” Jamie insisted, holding out her hand.

 Dani took it, rising so that she stood within inches of her fiancée. She scanned Jamie’s face, her eyes landing on two pink, ready lips. She darted for them in a quick peck. “Just this once, I suppose.”

 “Please. Wrapped around my pinky, you are,” Jamie said as she wiggled her little finger in the air.

 A smirk played on Dani's lips. “That so?”

 “Mmmhmm,” Jamie hummed, making as if to step away. When Dani swayed forward as if pulled by an invisible thread to follow, the gardener stopped suddenly. They collided, Dani’s lips landing on Jamie’s. The gardener chortled softly in the kiss. “I’d say so.”

 The light but pounding footsteps of the children climbing the stairs interrupted before Dani could protest, but Dani knew she wouldn’t have much of a leg to stand on, ankle healed or not.

 ****

 A fews days had passed and Jamie’s studio was officially out of their hands. The wedding was only a few days away now and Henry had arranged that they’d all be leaving for France together in the morning.

 Henry stared at the fire, poking it and adding a log that Jamie handed him. After putting the children to bed, Henry had proposed a bonfire to celebrate Jamie and Dani’s last night at the manor.

 Dani was grateful. Even next to Jamie, she wasn’t sure she would be getting much sleep tonight. Tomorrow meant Paris. Paris meant the wedding. It felt surreal that the woman sitting next to her, currently sharing a Tartan-woven blanket with her, would soon be her wife. She watched the fire’s glow dance in Jamie’s eyes, marvelling at her luck. What were the odds that their paths would bring them both to Bly Manor? Then again, maybe it wasn’t luck at all.

 The three sat in seemingly comfortable silence, nursing hot chocolates, but Dani felt an itch; she needed to say something, and there was really no time like the present. Tomorrow would be a busy day of travelling and the following days leading up to the wedding would leave little room for much else. Then Jamie and Dani would go on their honeymoon and the Wingraves would return to Bly. She had to broach the subject now or never.

 “Henry,” she started, “I’ve been wondering- well, I’ve been noticing that your tea has less spirit lately.”

 Jamie’s brows shot up, but Dani squeezed her hand, silently telling her it was okay and to wait for Henry’s reply.

 “American bluntness never disappoints,” Henry smiled and Dani was relieved to see his eyes held the same fond frankness she was trying to employ. “Yes, I am sober.”

 Dani exhaled the breath she’d been holding. “I thought so.”

 “Yes, well, the children…” Henry trailed off for a moment, collecting his thoughts. “With Charlotte and my brother gone, they’re all I have left. I’m all they have left.”

 “Do you have some sort of plan?” Jamie asked. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees and fingers laced. “Or someone to talk to, maybe? A way to keep it up?”

 “I’ve employed a counselor,” Henry nodded. “Among other things. With Ms. Clayton gone,” he smiled as he met Dani’s gaze, “I’ll need a bit more support, I know. For starters, I’ve no intention of letting a bottle of alcohol into that Manor ever again.”

 “It’s not always about intentions,” Dani said softly with a worried brow. “My mother--she drank before my father passed away and it only got worse after that. She’d make me promises over the years, telling me she’d get better for me, ya know? But eventually? She failed. Every time. Henry, you can’t fail. You can’t fail these children.”

 “I know,” Henry nodded, staring into the bonfire again. “Not after what they’ve been through.”

 “I’m not going to be here anymore,” Dani’s voice quivered as she spoke. “But I’m      here    . I don’t care what time it is here or in America, if you need someone to talk to, to call you cab, to yell at you--I’m      here,    Henry.” She reached out, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it. “You’re goddamn family now, so I’m going to be a downright nuisance. I won’t lose you. And I won’t let the children lose you either.”

 Squeezing her hand in return, Henry laughed softly, his eyes glistening. “Thank you, Ms. Clayton.”

 “I think you can call me Dani now,” the au pair laughed, her voice trembling slightly with emotion. Little had she known when she had first come to Bly that she would leave with the love of her life and a new family. She sniffed and sat up, whipping a tear as she smiled and leaned into Jamie as the gardener rubbed her back in soothing circles.

 “I must say I’m going to miss you. Both of you,” he said as he regarded Jamie with the same fondness. “I’m so very lucky and grateful for the time we’ve spent together.”

 “Chin up, Boss,” Jamie said. “We’ve got a few more days left and besides, we expect visits to America at least once a year. No exceptions.”

 Bowing his head in laughter, Henry nodded. “Yes, I expect the children will want to visit you as soon as you’re done with your honeymoon.”

 “No objections here,” Dani grinned. “Let’s make a plan. I don’t want to leave without knowing when I’ll see you all next.”

 Henry put his hand on his heart. “Leave it to me. You two have enough to worry about in the next few days.”

 Dani bit her lip as her stomach flipped. Inwardly, she scolded herself for feeling nervous about the wedding approaching. Sure, she wasn’t sure what her life had in store for her-- no one does-- but she knew she wanted to spend every minute of it she could with Jamie. “So soon,” she said in agreement.

 Henry held up his mug of hot chocolate. “To the brides and your lives together. May you not take a single day for granted and may you always know you have family in Bly.”

 Dani and Jamie raised their mugs, letting them clunk against Henry’s before taking a sip.

 When the fire tamed, they retired. In Dani’s old room, the au pair stood stock still at the foot of the bed, staring off into space.

 “Poppins? All right?” Jamie asked as she wove her arms around the au pair’s waist from behind.

 Dani closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Jamie’s, holding her to her. “Just thinking.”

 “Sounds dangerous.”

 Dani swatted the gardener’s hip playfully.

 “Seriously, Poppins. What’s wrong?”

 “Nothing’s wrong,” Dani said, still working through what was going on for herself. “I think I’m nervous?”

 “That’s normal,” Jamie said with a kiss to Dani’s shoulder.

 “Not that kind of nervous,” Dani shook her head. Not about you or marrying you. I’m just…the last time I was about to be married, things didn’t go so well.”

 Jamie turned Dani in her arms. “Things are a little different this time,” she said steadfastly, holding Dani’s gaze, as if her surety alone could convince the au pair of her words.

 “I know, and I want this. That’s the biggest difference,” Dani said. She held Jamie’s face in her palms, her eyes scanning every angle and curve of the beauty in front of her in reverence. “Don’t for a second doubt that, Jay.”

 A tenderness that made Dani’s knees feel as weak as her ankle found its way into Jamie’s eyes and her soft smile. “I don’t. I wouldn’t have said ‘yes’ otherwise.” She paused, then asked, “But?”

 “But, I’m nervous,” Dani admitted again. “I’m scared, really. I-” her voice wavered as she spoke. “I kind of don’t want to let you out of my sight until the wedding is over and we’re safe back in Vermont.”

 “Firstly, I think that can be arranged,” Jamie said with a light chuckle, pecking Dani’s lips. “And second, we’ve had this discussion, Poppins. You don’t decide who lives and dies. You don’t. I don’t plan on going anywhere, but when I do--someday in the very distant future, I hope-- it won’t be because of you.”

 “I know it’s silly or superstitious or whatever, but it’s what I feel,” Dani huffed, annoyed with herself.

 “Considering what you’ve been through, Poppins, I’d say you’re entitled to a little superstition.” The gardener kissed Dani slowly, caressing her lips softly with her own to soothe her. Her hands massaged Dani’s back as she held her close, and the tension Dani held there began to loosen. “I’m not going anywhere,” Jamie whispered.

 Dani let her chin rest on the gardener’s shoulder and wrapped her arms around her waist as Jamie’s hands began to work their magic at the base of her neck. She sighed as she let her forehead fall onto the gardener’s shoulder and turned her neck to kiss just below Jamie’s ear. She wanted to let herself drown in Jamie’s affection, to forget about the aching chill of her anxiety that crept across her skin and burrowed deep within her--that ever-lasting threat that came with loving someone as wholly as she did Jamie. The guarantee that one day, one way or another, she would lose her.

 “Promise?” the au pair asked, knowing Jamie could never promise her what she was asking. Just like Dani, she couldn't decide who lived or died.

 Jamie parted from Dani enough to bring their lips together in a kiss. She ducked, for just a moment, to lift Dani’s knee and wrap her leg around the gardener's waist, still mindful of Dani’s ankle despite it being on the mend. She leaned forward so that Dani fell back onto the bed and let her hand slide up Dani’s side as she deepened the kiss. When she pulled away, it was as if her eyes poured every ounce of her love into Dani’s. The au pair met her gaze in wonder at the miracle that was Jamie as she held her face and combed back soft curls.

 “One day at a time, Poppins,” Jamie said. “It’s all anyone can promise, when you get down to it. As long as those days are spent with you, one day at a time is fine by me.”

 “Okay,” Dani said, bringing their foreheads together and resigning herself to the fact that to truly love another person meant accepting the work of loving them was worth the pain of losing them. "One day at a time. If enough for you, it's enough for me."

 "I reckon it's enough for me."

[thatordinaryoddity]

UPDATE: Once In A Blue Goddamn Moon

a 💗 Jamie & Dani Fanfiction 💗 [The Haunting Of Bly Manor, Netflix 2020]

written by thatordinaryoddity

Rating: K+

Words: ~9,5k

Genre: Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Status: Complete (will be uploaded in three chapters + Prologue)

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27475423/chapters/67177879

FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13742358/2/Once-In-A-Blue-Goddamn-Moon

Summary: Jamie leaves Flora’s weeding more wrapped up in her thoughts than usual. In all those years, there hadn’t been a day without thinking of her deceased lover Dani. But sometimes, once in a blue goddamn moon, events coincide in an exceptional, odd way.

A/N: Hey there darlings! I hope you’re all doing well!

I’ve just managed to upload my fanfiction on AO3 and FF.net *yay*. In short, here’s the new update, have fun! Next chapter will be out tomorrow, same time, same place(s) - until then, stay awesome!

The Garden Above the City

____________________

 Jamie dropped off her luggage and went straight to the kitchen to get herself a cold, clear glass of water. Finally, after what felt like way more than an almost seven hour flight, she was in her usual environment again. To tell from the dawn outside the window, the day had just begun here in England since they had been on a nightplane. A little bit jetlagged, she pulled her cardigan tighter around her shoulders as she seated herself in the dark-green, cosy vintage loveseat. Like some sort of weird compulsion, she checked the water surface with every sip she took from her glass, hoping to see her reflection – as always, even after all this time, even after all this disappointing time.

In hope of getting some distraction from her train of thoughts, she grabbed the remote control for her radio and switched it on. Restless as the past few days had left her, she shifted around nervously on the seat, unable to find a comfortable way to sit. After a few fidgety minutes, the grey-haired woman gave up on finding any rest and decided to make herself a little something to eat instead. In the background, the music from the radio silenced to make room for the daily news. A female voice started talking:

And now to the weather forecast. This Friday autumn morning will be sunny in all parts of South England. It’s supposed to get cloudy with thunderstorms in the evening. Over the weekend, we expect rain in the greatest parts of Britain. Also, a rare Blue Moon will appear this weekend, coinciding with Halloween for the first time in more than 70 years. The full moon will rise in the east at 4.53 pm in the UK on Saturday, less than 20 minutes after the sun sets.

Jamie wasn’t even really listening. It was more like she heard the voice of the radio lady but couldn’t catch what she was saying. She was just tucked so far away in her own thoughts.

After she had eaten her breakfast and unpacked her suitcase, she decided to visit her favourite place in the world – Teddy’s little rooftop garden – one of the few things left to give her soul some comfort.

~

When Dani left all those years ago, Jamie had been unable to set another foot inside their florist’s shop back in America. Everything was connected to too many memories. There wasn’t a single spot where they hadn’t kissed. Sometimes, Jamie even came across a blonde hair here and there which would leave her as a sobbing wreck for the rest of the day.

She couldn’t even remember what she had been doing all day long during the first few weeks, if she had eaten or not, but she knew she hadn’t been sleeping for more than an hour at a time. She hadn’t even been able to bear collapsing into unconsciousness, because waking up from it to once again face her loss had been torture. She had begun to feel even worse since that one time she had gone to the shop, only to find all their plants dead due to the weeks of unintentional neglect. It hurt so much. All of it felt miserable.

After what had seemed like an eternity, some kind of inner healing had set in. Something inside her had told her she needed to move on. And although no hour had passed without her being reminded of that awful grief, Jamie had managed to move on one day. She had sold the flower shop and also her – their – flat, packed only the indispensables and booked a one way flight back to England. The woman had been aware that she couldn’t stay in America, in that cosy apartment, near the charming florist’s. It had been their dream, their life – and she would have perished had she stayed there.

Fortunately, she’d had some money left over from selling the flower shop and Henry Wingrave’s noble inheritance – he had sold all the antiquities and expensive, century-old furniture in Bly Manor to get rid of “all the old dust”. And since he was one of the only four people to remember what exactly had occurred at Bly Manor, he had decided to split the money between them as some sort of indemnity.

Back in Britain, Jamie had moved into a charming, suburban brick row house on the outskirts of a larger city. She’d been unable to bear living on the landside all alone because her own thoughts seemed too loud in all that silence. Likewise, living in the city centre had not been an option because the rush always unsettled her. Therefore, her current, modest accommodation had been just the right choice in her situation. Yet as the seasons had changed and one year had turned into two, the green-eyed woman had felt that something was missing inside her heart – the presence of a garden, of real flowers and plants. Since her row house didn’t have much more to offer than a few tiny window cills which were far too small to make a suitable home for all of her pot plants, Jamie had decided to search for something else. As luck would have it, she had found just what she had been looking for one day on the empty bus seat next to her while on her way home from grocery shopping. The forgotten newspaper on the seat right next to her had revealed just the right page of small ads:

Retired Gardener needs helping hand with his 40 sqm rooftop garden including a conservatory. All those interested please contact Theodore Campbell under ….

This ad had been more than just written words on the newspaper, it had been the beginning of something great, of something essential for the woman’s soul to find a little comfort and silence after all this time.

The years had gone by and turned her hair a steely gray, and she had gotten used to this new reality. Dani was never gone from her mind, not a single second, but it had become easier to live with all that screaming numbness inside her.

Theodore Campbell – Teddy – who suffered from multiple sclerosis and was confined to his wheelchair, had provided Jamie with so much love and understanding that he had become family to her. Truthful family, unlike those people who were related to her by blood. The elderly woman had shared her story with the old man and he had listened, understood, and remained silent when she had just needed to cry. Thus the little garden above the city had become not only a diversion, a pastime – but instead it had become home to her.

Teddy was 85 years old by now and Jamie visited him at least five days a week. Just as much as she saw him as a father, the old man loved Jamie like his own daughter. His wife had also passed away many, many years ago and the couple never had any children. Somehow, Teddy was a kind of role model for the green-eyed woman, because he himself had been through really hard times and yet, he always had a smile on his lips and another joke to tell every day. When his health began to deteriorate, he became reliant on his wheelchair, unable to attend to his gardening duties all by himself. Unwilling to give up the rooftop garden and sell it to someone who might just turn it into a rooftop terrace, he had place the ad in the newspaper.

Luckily, the pensioner was able to draw from his savings to pay for his treatments and special care, but with that burden and the rather lousy annuity a gardener gets, money was short nonetheless. Despite his financial status, he insisted to pay Jamie for her help, but she had always declined. His company and the garden had always been more than enough compensation for her. That, and the afternoon tea with shortbread biscuits, of course.

~

“It’s fine Teddy, I’ll get it,” the elderly woman put away her gardening gloves as the doorbell rang. The passionate gardener had spent almost the whole day on the rooftop, nurturing the plants and flowers with care and dedication, as she had been away for almost one week. Utterly absorbed in her work, she hadn’t even noticed that the sun was setting.

“Good evening Madam, trick or treat,” three colourfully dressed up children stood outside the door, gleefully grinning and bursting with excitement.

“Oh hi there, I love your costumes, you’re all exceedingly spooky! Let me see what the secret sweets stash has to offer!” Jamie smiled back at them, rushed into the kitchen, grabbing a handful of chocolate bars and handed each kid a few of them.

At the back of her head, she remembered the radio announcement about Halloween and the occurrence of the rare blue moon this night. If the kids hadn’t turned up in their costumes, she wouldn’t even have recalled that tonight was Halloween. She hardly attributed any importance to holidays like this, always assuming them to be a day like any other, but unbeknownst to her, this Halloween would turn out to be a very special one.

Without the sunlight warming her in the chilly autumn breeze, Jamie decided to lay her work on the rooftop garden down for the day and put on some good night tea for Teddy and herself.

“Ah thank you my dear, you are truly an angel!” Teddy said gratefully, as he took the hot tea mug from her. “You care to join me for a while?” The old man had hoped to be able to spend some time with her because he had noticed that something was especially strange since the moment she entered his apartment this day. Since she had returned from her trip to America for the wedding ceremony, Jamie seemed to be more absent-minded than usual.

“Would you mind if I go outside to the garden? The moon is so pretty tonight and I just want to admire it for a little bit on my own.” With a faint smile she placed her hand on the old man’s shoulder, trying to let him know that he needn’t worry. With a soft nod, he accepted her wish.

The sun had set entirely by now and the clear sky was embellished with its shiny stars already. The full moon tinted the rooftop with all the plants in a pale, silvery light. Despite her brown turtleneck pullover, made from very warm and soft linen, the elderly woman slightly shivered in the cold night air. Nevertheless, she sat down on the iron garden bench, wrapping her elegant, slender fingers tighter around the warm mug. With every sip, the warmth of the tea seemed to spread inside her body, stopping her from freezing any longer. The night was so very calm, and soon, her heavy thoughts, too, appeared to fall silent. Before she knew it, sleep somehow overcame her after a day of hard work and all the mental tension over the past week.

Jamie woke up, trying to figure out where she was for a moment. She didn’t know how long she’d been sleeping there, outside, on the cold iron stand of the garden bench. But somehow, her surroundings appeared to be ghostly silent and the cold night suddenly seemed very mild, more like a summer night really. There wasn’t a noise to hear, not even some distant hustle of traffic, not even the wind playing with the leaves of the plants. The green-eyed woman felt uneasy, odd, somehow dizzy. With one last glance upon the sky to the gorgeous moon in all its glory, she went towards the door leading inside. Suddenly, she was interrupted by a voice. A voice, so obviously real and present, that denying it or blaming it on the wind would have been utterly pointless:

“Jamie...”

She was thunderstruck. It was as if all her body cells, every membrane and every fiber froze to ice. A cold sensation rushed through her body from head to toe, leaving every inch of her electrified. This voice – could it be real? Was it another dream? Suddenly, she heard it again, louder this time, but with the same fragile gentleness.

“Jamie...”

The elderly woman didn’t even dare to turn around, she was literally frozen. A sudden gasp escaped her lungs, when she felt a soft touch on her shoulder. She squinted her eyes, trying to wake up from what she believed to be a dream, but the touch tightened.