#i said a million times in the tags and summary 'this is dark and heed the tags' if youre surprised by it at that point idk what to tell you

[bandtrees]

two conversations i want to have about "dead dove do not eat"

it's annoying how people treat it as a genre or descriptor in and of itself when it hypothetically should have no ties to "problematic" or "dark", it literally just means "what you see is what you get with these tags" - which is a concept that can encompass any kind of writing. in an ideal world dead dove is not a Type of fic, it is literally just a neutral descriptor, and i think it's very annoying how it got largely co-opted by proshippers who think it's shorthand for Dark And Twisted Porn™ and treat it as some kind of genre in and of itself

it just sounds incredibly lame. what's wrong with just saying "yeah heed the tags this is serious" instead of assuming everyone knows about a nonsense vaguely-artsy meme phrase. can we not just use our words

[ixalit]

can i assume that you like htp? if so, are there any favorite htp fics you can rec? 👀 my favorite one is dragging you down, demon bucky series and i love it tbh

I do!

Here are my favorites, some very popular, and others that are lesser known. As always, heed the tags and only read what you’re comfortable with!

(Here’s part 2)

Lamb and Martyr by @dsudis

40k, 5 chapters, complete

Steve/Bucky

graphic depictions of violence, rape recovery, rape roleplay, kink negotiation, under-negotiated kink, unsafe kink, subdrop, topdrop, complicated consent

Summary: "You could, though," Steve said. "If you were willing to hurt me."

Motions series by Nonymos

Steve/Bucky, Pierce/Bucky

Story 1: Training Motions

19k, 4 chapters, complete

alternate universe - modern, no powers, spies and secret agents; secret agent steve; torture; sex slavery; humiliation; object insertion; non-consensual body modification; forced feminization; dead dove: do not eat

Summary:

If Alexander Pierce, notorious weapons dealer, can be tricked into selling to SHIELD, his entire business will be exposed and the planet will be just a little safer. Steve's not the best at undercover work, but there was nobody else for the job and he would do anything to close the deal.

Of course, things get complicated when the deal turns into a competition. Things get more complicated when the competition starts hinging on who can hurt Pierce's submissive the most. Steve's not certain James is here on his own free will, and Steve's not certain he can compromise his morals, even to save millions of lives.

Story 2: Motion Training

78k, 31 chapters, complete

past rape/non-con, rape recovery, rape aftermath, consent issues, post hydra trash party, mutual pining, flashbacks, discussions of suicide

Summary:

After three years of slavery, Bucky's suddenly free again. He's not sure how to come back from that. Doing everything right just feels like going through the motions, but he has to keep going anyway - because there are some very wrong things he cannot afford to want.

Humans as Gods by Hyperthetical

5k, shrinkyclinks

rape/non-con, hurt/comfort, size kink, minor character death, dubious consent, hydra made them do it, happy ending, cuddling & snuggling

Summary:

HYDRA scientists successfully de-serum Captain America, only to discover that they are utterly unprepared for Steve Rogers. Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier follows his instructions to the letter. This works out just great.

So Familiar A Gleam by Lauralot

10k, stucky

nightmares, victim blaming, self-hatred, self-harm, drug use/abuse, overdosing, hallucinations, mental instability, past sexual abuse, past rape/non-con, electrocution, psychological horror, emotional/psychological abuse

Summary: Steve is always honest when Bucky’s sleeping.

Hallowed Ground by @shinelikethunder

12k, stucky, steve/hydra agents, bucky/hydra agents

rape aftermath, church sex, past torture, past rape/non-con, virginity, comfort sex, no healing cock, misappropriated religious imagery, hurt/comfort, sloppy seconds

Summary:

Bucky thinks about cleaning guns, or doing field maintenance on his arm, and tries to pretend he's repairing something delicate as he traces the lines of violence carved into Steve's flesh.

It'd be nice to believe that's what he's doing.

Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me by Chianine

4k, stucky

humiliation, self-hatred, physical abuse, rape/non-con

Summary:

When he's not being raped, beaten, or forced to commit murder, the Winter Soldier has a lot of time alone to dream and wonder what it would be like to not be treated like a piece of trash. He makes up a fantasy friend who would be big and strong and come and rescue him from HYDRA and all the people who hurt him. Then he would take the Soldier home and give him good food and wash him and touch him softly and take him to his nice warm bed and kiss him and hold him close and keep him safe.

Of course when he imagines this friend it's always a blonde blue-eyed handsome man. The Soldier decides to give this imaginary friend a name and the only one that comes to mind is Steve...

He doesn't realize that this person isn't made up - he is a memory.

There Is No Shortage of Blood by @dsudis, @artgroves

246k, 57 chapters, complete

Steve/Bucky

rape recovery, rape aftermath, rape fantasy, flashbacks, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, unsafe bdsm practices, bucky’s broken dick, sexual dysfunction, winter soldier trial, canon divergence, autoerotic asphyxiation, knifeplay, no safeword (just this once), risk aware consensual kink

Summary:

The long slow recovery of Bucky Barnes after his escape from HYDRA.

(And the longer, slower recovery of his sex life.)

to burn your kingdom down by glorious_spoon

12k, 5 chapters, complete

Steve/Hydra agents

graphic depictions of violence, rape/non-con, whump, past rape/non-con, hurt/comfort, rescue, hurt steve, steve/stoicism

Summary:

The Avengers go after a Hydra splinter cell with a nasty habit of brutalizing their prisoners. Steve has some ugly history with them, and when a rescue mission gone wrong leaves him and Sam in enemy hands, the situation gets uglier still.

No Broken Bones, No Permanent Damage by ponderosa121

1k, bucky/pierce, bucky/hydra agents

gang rape, knives

Summary: Something stirs in the dark places beneath his ribs. What does he want?

A Simple Excuse for a Complex Crime by @shinelikethunder

6.5k, stucky

graphic depictions of violence, rape/non-con, torture, interrogation, knifeplay, blood, electrocution, object insertion, bucky barnes’s metal arm, identity porn, memory recovery, the author regrets everything

Summary:

Pierce's motives for bringing the Winter Soldier in to interrogate Captain Rogers are more than a little bit suspect.

Follows directly on Elevator, Take 2, but literally the only thing you need to know about that one is "the one where the elevator beatdown ends in a gangbang instead." Just like the only thing you need to know about this one is "all the filthy trash Cap/Winter Soldier noncon you didn't know you wanted."

The Soldier or the Tiger by Anonymous

2.5k, bucky/rumlow, bucky/hydra agents

rape/non-con, attempted rape/non-con, non-consensual drug use, anal sex, anal fingering, sloppy seconds, dirty talk, multiple orgasms

Summary:

Prompt: I've read a fair share of pretty hot hydra operatives/WS fics. On one hand I like them a lot, but most of the time i have to ask myself, is it really SAFE? The WS is programmed for violence, I can't buy that he ALWAYS submits without any thought.

So I kind of want Rumlow/WS and other operatives/WS (but this is optional, I mostly want Rumlow) non-con sex, but where the risk of getting their heads taken off is very much present. Still, it's like trying to pet a beautiful tiger knowing it can rip off your jugular if you do it wrong... it's addicting.

[stevebuckyfics]

Endgame Fix-it Fics

Hello! So, it’s about a week in and I’ve read some fantastic post-endgame fix its, and I thought I’d share them. I’m sure there are more, but these are the ones I loved. I might make another post later on, when I’ve read more :)

Please heed author notes and tags for specific warnings, I will just link the fics with their summary! 

born in fire (again and again) by defcontwo

Natasha lands, in dust and sand and light, in the middle of a great landscape of nothingness. She sits up, and touches one hand to the back of her head, and it comes away wet and sticky with blood.

There’s copper in the back of her mouth, and she spits it out into the sand, watching with satisfaction as the blood splatters into the otherwise pristine surface.

“Huh,” Natasha says. “So this is death.”

when we came home by augustbird ( @augustbird )

Fighting is hard. Rebuilding is harder. Post-Endgame AU.

like heaven stood up in you by napricot

“You said you were gonna miss him,” says Bruce slowly. “He was supposed to be back in five seconds, but you hugged him and said ‘I’m gonna miss you.’”

Bucky’s face is serene again now, and gives nothing away. “I know Steve,” he repeats. “You think you can hand him a time machine and some rocks of unspeakable power and he’s just gonna go put ‘em right back where they belong?”

Steve does put the Infinity Stones right back where they belong. He just does a couple other things too. Or: three timelines and a Reverse Time Heist.

picture it soft by midnightroom

When Steve lurches awake, his heart is pounding in his chest. His shirt, soaked in sweat, clings damply to his skin. One fist is clutching the sheets of the bed, and the other is clenched so hard he can feel his fingernails making little half-moons in his palm.

Thanos—

The Stones. Dust drifting through the air, ash so thick you could choke on it. Five endless, aching years of white noise. His team. The lunacy of time travel, the mind-bending, fuse-blowing reality of hand-to-hand combat with himself. The bruise blooming across his cheek to serve as proof. A soft jazz song playing on a record, a crackling hearth, red lipstick. Death, death, death—

Beside him, Bucky shifts in his sleep, turns over so he's facing Steve. His eyes are closed and his mouth is parted, and Steve can see the dark shadow of his hair spread across the pillow like an ink-stain.

(or, Steve and Bucky in the aftermath of Endgame, picking memories apart.)

Ever Mine, Ever Ours by hitlikehammers

Steve goes back to return the Stones, for the sake of the universe.

The extra Pym Particles he palms when Bruce isn't looking, though? Those are for the heart he has now and the heart he took into the ice; those are for the loves he's known and held and lost and found, those—

Those are for the sake of his soul.

Avengers: Endgame Fix-It.

Lichtenberg Figures by rustywrites

Spoilers for Avengers: Endgame

The scars take some getting used to.

(An ending re-work where everybody lives)

When People See Us by Brokenpitchpipe

Rumlow knocks his shoulder good-naturedly. “Hail HYDRA.” “Thanks,” Steve says automatically, “you too.”

Hearing “Bucky’s still alive” in his own voice might have been a little unexpected, sure. But Steve’s definitely not prepared for the entirety of STRIKE to suddenly and inexplicably think he’s a secret Nazi. (He’s not prepared to learn there are secret Nazis either, for the record.)

the epitaph of an old record player by celestialfics ( @liquidsaints )

Peggy, intelligent and adaptable as ever, takes the entirety of his story and mulls over it in her head for a time, sitting across from Steve and studying his face. Her eyes are set, eyebrows furrowed, chin sitting in her hands.

After a long while, she speaks.

“Go home, Steve,” she says, voice sure; she’s determined as she’s always been.

found a place to rest my head (never let me go) by bulletsandbutterflies 

ENDGAME SPOILERS.

He tries not to dwell on the unfairness of it. How they had only just been reunited before he was taken away from Steve again. Dwelling makes it harder to move on.

But it’s hard to forget him when he comes to Steve in his dreams. Sometimes, they’re sixteen again, drinking glass after glass of cheap beer to forget the harsh reality that they were struggling to meet ends meet. Other times, they’re in the war, huddled together in the trenches to keep themselves warm from the unforgiving chills of winter.

And there are nights where Steve feels hands on his skin, warm and metal, soft lips against his own.

In which, Endgame decided to ignore Stucky completely so I've come here to fix it.

Part 3 of been waiting a hundred years (and I'd wait a million more)

I Drew a Line for You by Brokenpitchpipe

"What are you doing here, Steve?" Peggy asks.

"I'm," Steve says. "Living."

Peggy smiles. But it's a smile he recognizes, a smile that means she's guessed at the truth and she's guessed right. "No," she says, "you're not."

kingdoms have fallen, angels are calling (none of that could ever make me leave) by bornes

It’s been a long day. It’s been a long five years.

stay by birdjay

The platform buzzes, and suddenly goes quiet. The cycle has finished. Bucky doesn’t bother to look. There’s no way Steve’s coming back when he has the chance to stay. He moves to walk away, to move on with his life, somehow.

“Buck -- ?”

Bucky whirls around, hair flying.

Who I really am (not who I’m supposed to be) by JayPendragon

[SPOILER WARNING for Endgame]

“Don’t tell me it’s not what you want, buddy. I remember you talking about her. You still got her picture in your pocket. You saved the world, you’re supposed to get the girl.”

Yeah, that’s how it goes, isn’t it? Steve thinks but doesn’t say. Once upon a time, before he saw the changes he only ever dreamed of in the thirties come to life in all the colors of the rainbow, before learning that Bucky survived… Back then, he would have agreed.

The Rest of Our Lives by cleo4u2 

SPOILERS STOP READING CHRIST

Fix if fic, picking up when Steve hops into the time machine at the end of the movie and telling what Steve really did for the rest of his life. Hint, it's not a she.

There's Only Now, There's Only Here by stevergrsno  ( @stevergrsno )

“Steve,” Peggy says when she reaches him with quick, steady steps, her- husband and friend? friends? partners? following behind at a more sedate pace.

“Uh,” Steve says, and “Hi?” and “Would you mind telling me what the date is?”

1951. Steve aimed for home and ended up in fucking 1951.

Jesus christ.

---

In which Steve not showing up on the time pad wasn't exactly on purpose and we ignore 95% of that ending.

kiss me twice by espinosas

ENDGAME SPOILERS!!!

Hey. Still Endgame spoilers.

AU where Steve comes back for Bucky.

You'll see him soon. by JDHD

"Go," Bucky said to Sam, because the thought of having to face the man in front of him - the man he no longer knew - was so much more than Bucky could handle. He was like tinfoil, and he was being crushed gently in a fist, and he just wanted to come out without any rips.

He met Sam's eye, and the other man shook his head for a moment. "No. He looked for you for years, Barnes. Maybe he can explain."

----

BIG OL' ENDGAME SPOILERS.

End of Endgame fix it because we deserve better.

Kiss me once, then kiss me twice by obsessivereader ( @yetanotherobsessivereader )

Staring at the empty platform where Steve had stood just a moment ago, Bucky experiences one of the longest five seconds of his life. Steve’s not coming back, he thinks, over and over, Steve’s not coming back.

“…two, one.”

A weird distortion shimmers in the air as Steve materializes on the platform. Bucky lets out his breath in a quiet rush. He was so sure. He said his goodbyes and convinced himself that he’d get by just fine, that he was happy that Steve could finally have the life he’d always wanted with Peggy. He knew enough about the machine to know that Steve had a chance to go back to the 40s and pick up the life that was lost to him when he crashed the Valkyrie. And yet, here’s Steve back again, looking tired, dusty, disheveled. Bucky can’t tell what Steve’s thinking as their eyes meet. He’s never seen Steve’s eyes look so blue.

Part 2 of Fix-its that my heart needed

i say your name by rohkeutta ( @rohkeutta )

Bucky’s sitting on the back porch steps, curled up against the chill, when the door opens and closes behind him. Sam, perhaps, awoken by Bucky’s nightmares that lurk in the corners of the rooms: shadows that no longer stand up, ghosts who have laid their rifles down.

Bucky doesn't turn. If it's Sam, he can stay. If it's someone else, they can keep the ghosts.

whatever a sun will always sing is you by onibi ( @canobic )

Steve comes back.

It's Been a Long, Long Time (Coming) by bangyababy ( @bangyababy )

He says it'll take five seconds.

Bucky hopes that he's made the right decision.

He counts.

Five.

lighting up in the shadows by buckyjerkbarnes ( @fypoedameron )

"Don't you know by now there's nothing in the world that could make me walk away from you?"

[Or: a fix-it for Endgame because it would seem I have to do everything around here.]

Another Life by Palebluedot ( @brightbluedot )

"Hey, you," he says as he sits.

~~~

Or, it's been a long, long time, indeed.

(ENDGAME SPOILERS)

[blues-stucky-stuff]

Podfic Rec Friday - 11/16/18

Title: If They Haven’t Learned Your Name

Rating: Mature

Fic Author: silentwalrus (tumblr: @silentwalrus1)

Author Tags: Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, standard Winter Soldier trauma umbrella, POV Alternating, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Weirdness, Llamas, Bucky Barnes Has A Complicated Relationship With UFOs, Thirty Korean Grandmothers, Steve And Sam Vs. Canoe, Natasha Is Taking It Personally, Consent Issues, One (1) Orgasm, Podfic Available

Podfic Artists: quietnight (tumblr: @quietnighty)

Podfic Artists Tags: Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, standard Winter Soldier trauma umbrella, POV Alternating, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Weirdness, Llamas, Bucky Barnes Has A Complicated Relationship With UFOs, Thirty Korean Grandmothers, Podfic, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: M4B, WIP Big Bang 2016, Podfic Length: very freaking long, audio format: A Mess, Consent Issues

My Tags: Stucky AU, Canon Divergence AU, Post-serum Steve Rogers, Captain America Steve, Winter Soldier Bucky, Natasha is a good bro, Sam is a good bro, Bucky vs Modern Times, TW: Violence, TW: PTSD, TW: Panic Attacks, Podfic Length: 24 hrs

Fic Link: AO3

Podfic Link: AO3

Author Summary: Steve gets out of the hospital in two days, but just barely. “I’m fine,” he tells Sam, Nurse Eunjung and the phalanx of doctors assigned to make sure Captain America didn’t bleed out and die and get bad PR all over their nice clean hospital. “I have an advanced healing factor. It’s fine. See? I’m standing.”

“That is not standing,” Sam tells him.

“You’re bending the IV stand,” Nurse Eunjung adds pointedly. “Let go and sit down, they don’t grow on trees.”

aka Steve and Bucky's Global Honeymoon Revenge World Tour.

Review:

Guys...guys….this was…

The Most Absolute Best Thing EVER!!

I have finally made my way through this massive fic/podfic and I am completely devastated that it is over. This was a goddamn masterpiece. I should have seen this coming considering this week’s rec it brought to you by the powerhouse team of quietnight and silentwalrus but I don’t think I was truly prepared for this level of amazing.

Now, considering that this podfic weighs in at a highly impressive 24 hr length thanks to a word count of 237k and in deference to anyone who would like to avoid spoilers, I’m going to put my very extensive fangirling over this fic/podfic (and discussion of warnings) underneath a cut because there is going to be a lot of it…

...okay now, if you’ve clicked here, you’re probably interested in hearing more about this story and oh boy am I happy to help.

There is just so much to love about this fic. Now, I want to warn you, there are some heavy scenes in this fic. There is a hefty focus on Bucky’s recovery which he is unfortunately going through on his own. Sometimes he goes into dark places so please heed the warnings about PTSD, violence, and panic attacks if that’s something that concerns you. I wouldn’t mind giving anyone a heads up on what might be something they’d want to skim over if it was needed.

First of all, I adore every single characterization in this fic. Bucky is amazing; watching his transformation from the Winter Soldier to Barnes to finally deciding that he wants to be Bucky again was superb and I loved every second of it. Another thing I am totally in love with is Steve and Sam’s friendship; their Natasha enforced mini-vacation was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen because not only was it hilarious and fun, Steve and Sam discuss some very personal things that will have you feeling all kinds of feels. Finally, it would be an absolute crime to not point out the utterly fantastic storyline for Natasha. I’m always a fan of fics that treat her as more than a sexy dangerous spy who always is correct and this fic delivers. You really get to know her in this fic and I love it so much.

Second...the USS Motherfucker. Never in a million years would I have ever thought that one day I would be calling a spaceship (and a character’s ensuing friendship/relationship with said spaceship) adorable but I have to say this because my mom taught me never to lie. I love how Motherfucker turns into a companion and pet for Bucky and, in its unique way, helps Bucky heal.

Third...and closely related to my second point, Bucky’s relationship with music and his iPod. I don’t think I’ve been so emotional about an iPod being broken. I am not ashamed to admit I teared up a little bit during that scene. (Don’t worry though, things get better in the best of ways, I promise)

Fourth...the Stucky. The glorious, glorious Stucky. I think it’s a testament to how good this fic is that, even though Steve and Bucky aren’t even in the same place for a large portion of the fic, you still get a powerful look at Steve and Bucky’s relationship through Steve’s point of view and his conversations with Sam and Natasha as well as through the fractured lens of Bucky’s mind. I love how the relationship took time to put together. It wasn’t Bucky is Hydra one second and then in love with Steve the next; there’s a natural progression there that definitely qualifies as a slow burn but it burns sooooo good you won’t even care if you don’t prefer lengthy courtships. Even once Steve and Bucky are together in the same physical location, there’s still an element of slow burn but it’s just so damn genuine and sweet that I guarantee that you will love it. And then once they finally address that relationship...I swear you might die from all the feels but you will die happy.

Finally (and super important)...the podfic. This podfic is amazing! The production values are superb and I absolutely love the addition of music that goes with the chapter titles; there’s even music added at points in the story that call for them and sound effects added which brings this podfic to an epic level. Then of course, since this is a quietnight podfic and I can’t not gush over it, the voice acting for the characters is absolutely my favorite. You always know who is talking because everyone has a specific that really embodies their character.

I could probably go on about this fic for hours or possibly days but I’m going to stop here. Hell, I don’t even know if anyone will have had the time or interest to read all this but I had to say it because a fic/podfic combination like this deserves to be talked about. I highly recommend that you listen to the podfic because quietnight does an amazing job but, if that isn’t your thing do yourself a solid and read the fic. This story is just too good to miss.

[shestillhasherquill]

At the Heart of Darkness (9/11)

Hello, hello! I almost forgot that today was Thursday - I started at a new job! Anyway, you don't care. Thank you for your continued interest in this fic. I love reading your tags. I appreciate all the support!!

Thank you Mods of @captainswanbigbang​ for being chill about a lot of stuff and for being so freaking organised.

@sambethe​ was so great throughout. Thank you, for the banner and the artwork for chapter 2 and chapter 5. And for being a third set of eyes on this fic! @downeystarkjr​ I still can't get over how great your videos are, both the teaser and the longer one. Please go to their tumblrs and check their hard work out!!

@accio-ambition​, thank you for being so sweet and for finding the time to edit this despite how busy you were. Ily.

Also, special mention to @peglegsjones whose portrayal of the Dark One in her fic Alone, until I get home inspired me and the way I chose to write the Darkness.

omg we're almost at the end!!!!

Summary: Killian Jones lives in the Land without Magic, with no memories of his family. Until Emma Swan comes into his life like a whirlwind, reminding about everything he had lost. He embarks on an adventure to destroy the Darkness, only to discover that Emma might not be telling him the whole story.

Rating: M

Content Warning: Mentions of Miscarriage, Angst, Gothel (Please heed the Gothel warning, ugh God, she sucks)

Prologue: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 1: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 2: tumblrao3ff.net | Chapter 3: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 4: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 5: tumblr ao3ff.net | Chapter 6: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 7: tumblr ao3 ff.net

Current Chapter: ao3 ff.net

Chapter 8: Don’t bother writing (I’m gone)

Present Day: Enchanted Forest

“What did Emma tell you again?” Killian asked, taking leaping steps just to keep pace with his daughter’s rapid steps.

“That the Dagger was with an old friend. There is only one person Mama would give it  to,” Alice replied, trying to hurry as much as she could.

“Someone she trusted the most?” Killian guessed. But as far as he knew, Emma hardly trusted anybody, let alone enough to entrust his dagger to them.

“Nu-uh, that would be the first person anyone would torture. She gave it to Ariel, Queen of the Water Realms. She can travel between the realms anytime she wanted, and could make a quick getaway.”

Killian knew Ariel; they had been something like friends at some point, despite the animosity between pirates and mermaids. “Ah. She’s a nice lass. How are you going to contact her though?” he asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.

Alice huffed, stopping in her tracks, pulling a seashell necklace from around her neck. “Using this. I have already sent her message via shell. She should be waiting for us, we must hurry. Now, stop asking questions and follow me!”

Killian frowned, a reprimand ready on his tongue. But he realised with a pang that she was not a little girl anymore; she had been right to take that tone. Emma and Alice had a plan in place and he needed to respect that she knew what she was doing. They had only a small lead, with Gothel being occupied with Emma. She would come after them soon if she realised that they had the Dagger. So far, the only person Gothel thought knew about the Dagger was in her custody. And they had to maintain the ruse for as long as they could.

It took them a few hours, but Alice and Killian finally managed to break through the treeline and onto the short beach. Alice looked around frantically, vibrating on the spot like she was ready to explode. Killian might not know much about this version of his daughter, but her anxiety was not anything new.

“Starfish, Ariel will be here. It will be fine,” he said in a soothing, slow tone, grabbing Alice softly by the shoulders and making her look at him. “Deep breaths, sweetheart. That’s it, just concentrate on your breathing.” He did the breathing exercise along with her, until he felt she had calmed down enough.

Alice sighed, rubbing at her forehead. “Why would Mama do that?!” she exclaimed. “I never should have let her.”

Killian chuckled, despite the situation they were in. “Love, I’ve come to realise that once your mother has set her mind on something, it is neigh on impossible to change her mind. Besides, in her place, I would have done the same thing.” He let out a long breath, his hand and hook resting on his hips. “That does not mean I condone what she did.”

“That’s exactly what you did. Actually, what you did was a million times worse.” Alice’s tone might have been matter-of-fact, but her words hit him in the gut. He had had the chance to apologise to Emma, but he hardly even said goodbye to his little girl before he left her.

“Starfish, I’m so sorry. I-” But Alice held up her hand to half him mid-sentence.

“It’s alright, Papa. I mean, it’s not alright, but it is for now. We will have time for apologies and regret after we get rid of the Darkness and save Mama.”

“That is exactly what your mother said.” He was in awe of the young woman in front of him, and he owed it all to Emma. She was the one who had raised Alice into a smart, brilliant young woman. He couldn’t have done a better job; there would always be a part of him that loathed himself for missing out on the chance to be a good father. And unwittingly, he had lost that chance again because of what had happened with Charles.

He was saved from the dark direction his thoughts were taking by Ariel’s timely arrival. His joy was short lived, though, because the moment he stepped closer to Ariel, the voices in his head grew louder, the Darkness calling out to him, telling him to take his Dagger and run away. To protect himself. He squeezed his eyes shut, staying rooted in place and watched as Alice greeted the mermaid and exchanged pleasantries that he was too far away to hear, and too consumed by the sudden urge to hunt Gothel down.

He lost track of how long he had stood in one place, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to block his ears against the assault of the Darkness. He realised that he had been in control for so long because the Dagger was in another realm. It was a hundred times harder now to quell the voices in his head. He was forced out of his catatonic state by Alice dumping a bucket of cold water over his head. He started at her, dripping with salt water as she stood above him, panting slightly and the now empty bucket still held aloft.

“Th-ank you,” he sputtered out, pushing his hair from his face, and standing up properly. “I apologise, Starfish. I don’t know what got over me.”

Alice nodded, dropping the bucket next to him and taking a seat. She patted the spot next to her, but he could still hear the dull echoes of the Dagger and chose to stand instead. “Was it the Darkness?” she asked softly.

He hesitated to answer her for a very long time, but finally relented, letting out a giant sigh. “Aye.”

“It’s the Dagger.” It was more of statement than a question, and Killian was unsure what he could reply to that. Alice nodded to herself, staring at the horizon for a long time, both of them in somewhat comfortable silence.

“D’you know I hate magic?” she asked, but he had a feeling it was rhetorical, and allowed her to talk. “I do. Magic is what trapped me in that tower, magic is what took you away from me. Magic is what caused Emma and I so much pain in our lives. I could never understand why Mama loved it so much, even after all that had happened. She even wanted me to learn, harness my own magic. But she always understood. She even stopped using magic for me. She’s- She my mother in every single way. Not just in the way that counts. I actively reject Gothel as my mother.” The last part was said with such vehemence, so completely different from the tone she had adopted for the rest that it startled Killian.

He finally took a seat next to Alice, while still maintaining enough distance from the Dagger. “Darling, I realise that I have not been the best father. I know that Emma has made sure that you do not have to suffer the same fate as we both did as children. You are right, she truly is your mother in every single way, and I have just treated her so terribly. I have treated you terribly. How do we get past that? I don't have the answer to that question, I don't have the answer to so many things. I just feel so lost, I feel so miserable and ashamed. So tell me, what do I do?”

Alice sighed heavily, resting her chin on her bent knees, and just stared at the horizon. Killian waited with bated breath for a moment, before deciding that he would not be getting a reply from her. But just as he was about to get up, Alice finally responded. “You don't do anything, Papa. You just need to give her time, give me time, and be there for us. We will get past it because we are family, and family means we never stop trying.” She got up, giving him a hand and pulling him up, dusting the sand from her dress. Killian nodded at her, feeling a sense of calm wash over him. This might not have been forgiveness, but Alice’s words gave him hope. She hesitated, as if she was contemplating saying something. “I love you, Papa. Even when I feel like I should hate you. I love you, because you’re my Papa, and because you’re here now.”

Killian swallowed thickly at the lump in his throat, wordlessly accepting the olive branch she had offered. “Let’s go, love. We have quite the journey to Camelot.”

She reached into Emma’s satchel, retrieving a leather cuff from it and handing it to him.

“I don’t think that’s my style, Starfish,” he chuckled. Regardless, he took the cuff from her, examining it. As far as leather cuffs went, it was fairly routine, nothing that stood out to him about the craftsmanship or the quality.

“It suppresses magic,” Alice explained. “In case you lose control,” she added.

Killian’s jaw clenched, the Darkness in him hissing at her insinuation. It scared him, how quickly his darker impulses came to the fore. The fear of doing something to harm his daughter was enough for him to place the cuff on immediately.

If Alice noticed the haste in which he put it on, she did not comment on it.

-/-

20 years ago: Enchanted Forest

Killian could feel every cell of his body corrupted by the black sludge of the Darkness, burning him from the inside out. All the pain and heartbreak that he had gone through amplified until his heart was nearly bursting from the agony, so much so that all he wanted to do was rip his heart from his chest and cut off his feelings all together. He felt unbelievably violated, the Darkness had taken over his body. He could feel the muck and grime settle in every crevice of his soul.

And when he emerged from his transformation, the Darkness had taken over so entirely - he felt born again, no longer restricted by the whims and restrictions of human existence. He felt the immensity of power at his disposal. He was Captain Hook once again. His lips spread into a wild grin - he had a blonde beauty to thank for liberating him.

Little did he know that Killian Jones was trapped, but alive, under the layers of rotten, filthy darkness.

-/-

Emma teleported herself back to the tower, making both Smee and Alice jump in fright. She couldn’t blame them; she did practically stumble in like a deranged maniac, frantically yelling at Smee to “Leave, now!” Alice backed away from Emma, her eyes wide and blue, fear crystal clear in them. Emma sucked in a deep breath, if only to not frighten Alice any more than she already had.

She quickly relayed what had happened to Smee, promising to tell him the whole story after she had made sure Killian was fine. She hurriedly packed a sack for Alice, carelessly throwing together outfits for her. But she had not been fast enough. When she rounded the corner from Alice’s space into the main room, a silent and docile Alice in tow, Killian was waiting for them, leaning casually against the window ledge. He looked up at that exact moment, a predatory grin on his face as he stalked towards them

Emma stopped dead in her tracks, pushing Alice behind her, the only defense between the child and the Dark One. Because the thing in front of her now was not the man she loved. This was not Killian, and frankly, she was afraid to find out who he was.

Killian stopped just in front of her, his head tilted to the side in a disapproving manner, lips in a slight pout.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” He crouched in front of Emma, his gaze shifting to Alice who was hiding behind her, her grip tightening on Emma’s trouser’s leg. “It’s me, Starfish,” he crooned, his predatory look shifting into something far more soft.

“Papa?” Alice sounded scared, tentative. Emma saw Killian’s jaw clench and he glared up at Emma, as if she was the one at fault for Alice fearing him. Emma met his gaze fearlessly.

He was the first one to look away, all of his attention focused on Alice. “Aye, my love. Are you ready to get out of here?”

“Really?” the child asked, a slight edge to her tone, almost like she was afraid to be hopeful.

“Aye, Starfish. Papa found a way. Told you I would, didn’t I?” he grinned, reaching past Emma and taking a willing Alice into his arms, balancing her on his hip. He turned to Emma, his electric blue eyes fixed on hers.

“Are you afraid of me?” he asked in an unexpectedly soft tone.

Emma was afraid for him. She was scared about what the Darkness was doing to him, his mood all over the place, unreadable to her. But she did not fear him.  But she knew, she could bring her Killian back. She stepped forward, tentatively brushing her knuckles over his cheek, her magic sparking, triggered by the Darkness in him. He then closed his eyes at her soft touch, his entire countenance losing the air of a man with great power. When his eyes opened, they were back to the cerulean of Killian Jones. She smiled.

“I could never be afraid of you. I’m afraid for you, my love,” she confessed, her eyes shifting to Alice, who had her head resting against her father’s shoulder, her thumb in her mouth. She only did that when she was most distressed.

-/-

Killian nodded in acceptance. He grabbed her hand, pressing a kiss to her knuckles, and pulled her closer, enveloping his girls in his arms. Once he was certain that they would be shielded properly, he expelled a blast of magic, strong enough to break any spell. He wanted to get the Dark One to free his daughter, and one way or another, that was what he did. The tower started disintegrating around them, and once he felt the spell keeping Alice trapped break, he magically transported all of them to a safer location.

His feet hit the ground hard, jostling the little girl in his arms, while Emma managed to land quite gracefully on her feet. Both the adults turned their gaze on Alice, who looked around her in awe. She was truly outside the tower for the very first time. She squirmed in Killian’s hold, forcing him to let her go. And he hesitated for just a moment, concerned about her exploring too far. But Alice remained by their side, walking around and touching each tree, plant, and rock, gasping each time.

He had been enraged at Emma in the beginning; if it weren’t for her insistence that he grab the Dagger, he would have escaped this curse. But it was only because of the Darkness that he had been able to save his daughter. That couldn’t have been a bad thing, could it? He watched with amusement as his daughter explored the area around her, keeping up a constant chatter.

He chanced a glance at Emma, who was standing on the other side of the clearing they were in, but she was already looking at him with a strange expression. But she smiled at him when she noticed him looking. Odd, she looked almost contemplative.

Emma walked up to him, her hands behind her back. “I have something for you.” She looked serious, confusing him further.

“What is it, Swan?”

“Something that belongs to you,” She brought her hands forward, revealing the Dark One’s Dagger.

The Darkness flared up, screaming at him to possess it, to never let it out of his sight. With the Dagger in his hands, he could do anything he wanted. He reached for it, his hand trembling, but Emma stopped him just before he could touch it.

“Wait. Wait, we need to talk about this.”

“About what?” he growled, not able to take his eyes off of the Dagger.

“You seem different, Killian. You’re not you. Maybe I should just hold on to the Dagger for you,” she suggested. “I am just wo--”

Whatever the rest of her sentence was, Killian could not hear her over how loud the voice in his head was.

How dare she? The Darkness screamed inside his head. It’s yours to take. She is trying to control you. Is that what you want?

“Shut up! Just shut up.” He meant to snap at the voice in his head, but Emma jumped at his harsh tone, hurt flashing in her eyes.

“I-I’m sorry,” she whispered, dropping the Dagger and backing away. “I’m going to go, and um, find us some food.” Emma walked away from the clearing and toward the dirt road that led to the village. He watched as she glanced at Alice, hesitated, and then kept walking. His gut clenched: he scared her.

What if she was running away from him?

He took and Dagger and placed it in his jacket. He grabbed Alice, despite her protests against being dragged away from turtles, and followed after Emma. Alice continued to cry, beating on his back to let her down, but as much as it pained him, he needed to find Emma, and reassure her. It was just a misunderstanding; everything would be alright.

-/-

Present day: Enchanted Forest

Emma struggled against the magical shackles Gothel had her bound in, but it was in vain. Her binds were too tight. Her wrists painfully rubbed against them when she tried to wriggle her hand out.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you after me?” she spat out at Gothel.

Gothel ignored her, rummaging through the myriad of bottles on the table opposite, her back turned to Emma. A couple of moments passed and Emma started to sweat in the humid room. Gothel had restrained her in the woods and used magic to transport them both. The place resembled the mines, except instead of stone, the walls were made of soil. So it was damp, but still very hot.

Gothel let out a triumphant shout, finally having found what she had been looking for. She moved to face Emma, dangling a small vial at her. “Do you recognise this?”

“Should I?” Emma sassed, glaring at the witch.

“It’s something I made, just for you. It’s mostly sulphur.”

“Aw, you shouldn’t have.”

Gothel ignored Emma’s cheekiness. “Actually, I did use it on you once. Do you remember that?”

Emma glared at her, her heart raced simply remembering the pain Gothel’s poison had caused. But Gothel continued, observing Emma with curiosity. “It was meant to corrupt you; that was what the sulphur was meant for. It destroys light magic from within. You should have never been able to survive that.” She crouched in front of Emma, her head tilted to one side, her cold eyes staring at her unblinkingly, unnerving her. “I wondered, how you managed to stay so young over the years. I always assumed you used a glamour spell or a potion. It was only when I realised that my potion did not work that I started understanding what was really going on.”

Gothel smirked at her. Emma knew her panic was clear by her expression. “You have a part of the Darkness in you, Princess,” Gothel whispered gleefully. “My dark magic is no match for that, I know that now. I’m sure you’re suffering enough as it is. You wouldn’t survive losing your magic - you can’t live without it and you can’t live with it.”

Emma couldn’t understand how the witch had figured out her secret. She had been so certain that no one knew about it - not even Alice. It had taken a couple of years for Emma herself to even realise and understand. When Killian had linked the two of them together, some of the Darkness from him transferred to her. Emma assumed that the dark magic she had been sensing had been through the link belonged to Killian. But it was the dark magic in her own veins. Her magic was corrupted, both light and dark a part of each other. It had only become worse over the past 20 years.

Emma had not revealed this part of the plan to Killian for this reason - once they destroyed the Darkness, it would destroy her magic as well. It had been made pretty clear what would happen to her without her magic. She couldn’t bring herself to tell her daughter and her love that she would not survive this. That there was no happily ever after for her.

-/-

20 years ago: Enchanted Forest

Emma heard Alice’s cries before she heard Killian calling her name. She whirled around, startled to see the latter run up to her, holding a crying Alice in his arms.

“Swan,” he breathed, stopping a few feet away from her.

“What’s wrong with Alice?” she asked, stepping forward and taking the crying child into her arms, rubbing her hand over Alice’s back to comfort her. Alice wrapped her arms tightly around Emma’s neck, her cries muffled on Emma’s shoulder.

Killian looked helpless, like he was on the verge of crying himself. He sank to the ground, sitting slumped against a tree, running his hands through his hair, pulling at it painfully. It hurt Emma to see him in such a condition, but she was clueless to help him.

“I think I frightened her. I just- I needed to come after you. I needed to stop you, Swan,” he said after a long while, desperation dripping from his voice.

Alice’s cries had died down by then, and she had drifted off, slumped against Emma. She did not blame her; Alice had had a very eventful evening and it must have been too frightening and confusing for a six-year-old to handle, no matter how intuitive she was.

“Stop me from what, Killian?” Emma snapped, her voice coming out in harsh whisper. “You yelled at me to ‘Shut up.’ I thought you needed a moment to calm yourself.”

“I do not need to calm myself. I’m fine,” he bit out through clenched teeth.

“No, you are not. This is not who you are - flying tempers, making Alice cry? That is the Darkness. You are losing control. We need to get rid of it.”

He rose up, his eyes narrowed, and he looked at Emma contemplatively. “Oh, is that why you held on to my dagger? So you can ensure I don’t ‘lose control?’ You want to control me, is that it?”

“Of course not!” Emma protested. She switched Alice to her hip, leaving one hand free. She did not want to, but if it came down to it, she had to protect herself and Alice against the Darkness. Even if it meant she had to harm him. “Killian, this is not you.”

“No, Emma. This is better,” he argued, keeping his voice down. Emma was relieved that he did not wake Alice up: she did not want the little girl to see her father this way. “I was finally able to get my daughter out of that hell. The only way I was able to do that was with magic. My magic. Not yours.”

Emma reeled at that, feeling like she had been slapped. “I offered to use my magic. I would have done anything for Alice, you know that!”

But Killian ignored her, powering through his own speech. “You told me to grab the Dagger, Swan. You forced this on me, and now that I actually seem to like it, you just can’t handle it.” He wagged a finger at her, grinning like a maniac. “That’s it, isn’t it, love? You can’t handle the fact that I’m stronger than you. That I don’t need your magic.”

Emma bit her lip, her heart clenching at his accusations, trying to convince herself that it was the Darkness making him say these things. He wanted to hurt her, but she couldn’t give him that satisfaction.

“You and I both know that that’s not true. We are a family. It doesn’t matter who is more powerful.”

“Ah, see, that’s where you’re wrong, Swan. All this time, you had me convinced that I needed you, that I needed your magic to save my daughter, when in fact, I didn’t need you at all. Maybe you knew all along what needed to be done. You were just afraid that you would be left alone again, forever the orphan Princess.”

Tears came unbidden to Emma, every word coming out of Killian’s mouth hitting the mark. She pulled Alice closer, drawing comfort from her daughter.

“That is not fair. You’re not thinking straight,” she said quietly. Whether she was trying to convince Killian or herself, she wasn’t sure. Her hand trembled as she reached for his, the dark magic sizzling under his fingertips. “This is not you. This is not the man I love.”

“Perhaps the man you love is no more,” he whispered, his eyes looking away from her, unable to meet her gaze.

Emma was rendered speechless. She was not sure what she could possibly do to bring her Killian back to her.

“I refuse to believe that,” she said with conviction, drawing his attention back to her. “I love you, Killian Jones. Whether the Darkness likes it or not, I am not leaving.” She grew more confident when he seemed to listen, drawing closer to him, her hand drawing up his arm and resting against his chest. “I know your heart, I know you’re still there. Push the voices away. It’s just the three of us here - you, me, and Alice.”

Killian let out a deep breath, stepping away from her, Emma’s hand dropping. “I don’t know what’s happening, Swan,” he confessed, biting down hard at his lip. He squeezed his eyes shut, massaging his forehead.

Emma looked on, worried and helpless, wondering what she could possibly do to help her fiancé. “Talk to me, tell me what is going on inside your head. Lean on me.”

Killian nodded, pulling her closer. He hesitated, before holding his arms out to take his daughter, and letting out a relieved breath when Emma handed her over. He held Alice close, centering himself.

“I apologise for the things I said to you, Emma. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

Emma nodded, wordlessly accepting his apology. But she had to know. ”Did you mean any of it? Do you really think- do you think that I kept things from you? That I tricked you into falling in love with me?” Her questions slipped out one after another, her insecurity rearing its ugly head.

Killian immediately pulled back, his hook resting on her waist. “No, absolutely not! I was- They were senseless words said in spite, my love. I was being an arse, and I’m sorry.” A beat later, he added, “I never meant for those words to come out, Emma. It- I was just so angry, I was hurt. And in that moment, I wanted to hurt you, like you hurt me.”

Emma swallowed thickly, not allowing him to notice the fear she felt building inside, painting a smile on her face instead. “It was the Darkness, Killian. It wasn’t you. I’ve seen this before, I’ve seen the way it corrupts and destroys. We need to get rid of it, once and for all.”

-/-

Present day: Camelot

It had taken Killian and Alice a week to reach Camelot by foot. He couldn’t use his magic, and Alice had never tried using hers. While it had given them plenty of time to talk and for Killian to get to know his daughter again, each day was agonising as they both feared for Emma’s life. Neither of them could understand why Gothel would want Emma, but the longer it took them to get rid of the Darkness, the worse their imaginations became. It had come to a point where neither of them spoke about what was happening to Emma; once again, she had sacrificed herself for Killian and Alice. Talking about it did nothing to relieve their guilt.

“Have you met this Merlin fellow before?” Killian asked, turning to Alice.

“Well, sort of. A very long time ago, we heard a rumour of an ancient sorcerer who could destroy the Darkness. But after a couple of months of research, we grew tired. It had been ten years at that point, I think, since you had been gone. It was a difficult year, for Mama. I was a hellion during my late adolescence,” Alice said, making Killian chuckle.

Another good thing about the time he had spent with Alice? He was slowly beginning to let go of his guilt and enjoy learning new tidbits of information about his daughter’s life.

“I’m sure if anyone could have handled it, Emma could have.”

“You’re not wrong. But that did deter her from looking for a way to get rid of the Darkness. Perhaps, if we had kept looking, we could have been reunited sooner.” Alice shot him a tight smile, before looking down, remorseful.

Killian couldn’t have his daughter blaming herself in any way. He stopped her, grasping her shoulders with hand and hook, waiting patiently for her to meet his eye. “Listen to me, Starfish. You have nothing to feel upset about. Things happened the way they were bound to happen. Emma made a decision to be a mother first. If I were in her place, I would have done the same thing.”

Alice shook her head, pushing Killian away, her arms crossed petulantly. “This is all my fault. This started because you wanted to rescue me from that tower. Maybe I was better off-”

“No!” Killian snapped, making Alice jump. He wouldn’t blame her; even when she had been a child, he had never raised his voice at her, let alone as an adult. “You need to stop blaming yourself. That is far too heavy a burden to carry on your shoulders, love. Gothel trapped you in that tower, and nothing you could have said or done would have stopped either me or Emma from saving you. You’re our daughter - and that is what you do for your family, Alice. So, don’t you dare think we would be better off. You saved me from a life of a pointless pursuit for revenge, you were there for Emma all those years I was gone. I probably never would have met Emma if it weren’t for you. I owe everything to you, my darling.” He smiled, drawing her into his arms, pressing a soft kiss to the side of her head. “Enough with such talk. Let us get to Merlin.”

Another fifteen minutes of walking led father and daughter to a dilapidated bridge, both of them looking around concerned and confused. The more they ventured into Camelot, the more they were starting to realise that there was no one there; everything in Camelot seemed to be broken down, vines and shrubbery overgrown on the buildings. Everything looked abandoned, not like the thriving city Killian had come to expect.

“Are you sure this is the right place, Starfish?” Killian asked, helping her over a large, fallen pillar.

“Aye,” she said, jumping to the ground with a grunt. “At least, I think so. This is Camelot.”

“And this is where Merlin is supposed to be?” Killian asked with a scoff. “It looks like he hasn’t been here for a while.”

“Looks can be deceptive, Captain Jones,” a man’s voice spoke from behind them.

Killian and Alice whirled around, both of them drawing their cutlasses out and pointed them at the man’s throat. He seemed oddly calm, smiling at them despite the threat. Killian regarded him curiously: he was dressed in brown and gold robes, his arms at his sides and looking at them pleasantly, as if his life wasn’t being threatened. Killian could only think of one person who could be that brave.

“Merlin,” he declared, his sword still held pointed at the wizard.

“Indeed. Now, if you could be so kind as to lower your weapons…”

Killian and Alice complied, sheathing their weapons. But Killian couldn’t shake the wariness he felt. “What did you mean, ‘looks can be deceptive?’” Killian’s eyebrow raised questioningly at the wizard.

If possible, Merlin’s grin grew wider and he waved his hand. Killian and Alice gasped at their surroundings melted away like candle wax, the decrepit area replaced by a thriving town square, people milling around them, vendors selling their wares.

Killian and Alice gaped as they saw all the people - Killian could not wrap his head around the display of magic. Just a moment ago, the place had been completely empty and neglected.

“Just a simple glamour to keep out unsavory characters,” Merlin assured, his hands clasped in front of him. “Queen Guinevere had it put up when she formed the kingdom with Ser Lancelot,” he informed them.

Killian was taken aback; all the stories that he had heard in the Land without Magic, King Arthur was the ruler of Camelot, and Lancelot was just a knight. “What about King Arthur?”

Merlin sighed, shaking his head. “Arthur...Well, he was nothing but a disappointment. Thankfully, our queen recognised it and made sure the people did not suffer from his obsession and neglect.” He clapped his hands together, making father and daughter stare at one another doubtfully. “However, you are here for a different reason, aren’t you?”

Killian shared a look with Alice before he stepped forward. “Perhaps there is somewhere else for us to speak, mate? Somewhere private, maybe?”

-/-

Present: Enchanted Forest

Emma let out an agonising scream, straining heavily in her bonds, as Gothel’s newest creation wreaked havoc on her. The witch had been torturing Emma for the past week, injecting her with different concoctions, exploiting the Darkness in her to make her weaker. For so long, she had been able to manage having the Darkness be a part of her, had resisted using her magic for this very reason. Every time she had used her magic, it had been painful. It had taken her a year or two to get used to the Darkness and to train herself to draw from the light magic only. It had been fairly easy, there was hardly any dark magic in her. But she had not accounted for the Darkness to draw power from the light magic, never accounted for its growth.

The more the Darkness grew in her, the weaker she had become. She hadn’t noticed it all until a year ago when she had found Merlin. He had noticed the growing Darkness in her, he had been the one to tell her of her fate; he had also told her that there was no way for them to separate the dark and light magic in her. They exist as one and would be destroyed as one. Perhaps, if you had come to me sooner, he had said. He had been the one to tell her Killian would be the only other person who would be able to remove just the Darkness. It had originally been a part of him, and would thus go back to him, leaving her light magic behind. Theoretically, that would be the outcome. She had almost tested that theory out, before Alice had come back.

Unfortunately for Emma, Gothel had learnt her secret as well. She had been injecting Emma with different potions to activate the Darkness in her. The weaker Emma grew, the less resistant she could be to Gothel’s magic. She intended to get Emma as weak as she possibly could, before Gothel forced Emma to reveal the plan to get rid of the Darkness.

For the past week, Emma had been confident that she would be able to make it. Until today, Emma could feel the Darkness take root. She could feel the pain in every cell of her body, as if she was burning from within. It was unbearable, and Emma couldn’t help but cry out. She had almost given up, almost begged Gothel to make it stop - but she refused to give the witch that satisfaction. She was stronger than that - she was the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. Her parents had faced death with dignity; they might have been defeated, but they had their integrity. If Emma had to die, she would prefer to have her integrity intact. It was all she had left of her parents.

“My, my, aren’t you the stubborn one,” Gothel spat, wrapping her hand around Emma’s throat and squeezing. “But you are so weak now, Emma. You’re no match for my magic.”

“Do whatever the hell you want. You can never stop the Darkness from being destroyed.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, my dear. You’re going to tell me exactly what your plan is, and I’m going to make certain you lot rue the day you met me.”

-/-

20 years ago: Enchanted Forest

Killian and Emma had managed to set up camp at a riverbed. He caught them some fish, despite not feeling hungry, and Emma built a fire. Alice, now awake, watched everything they did with rapt attention, and she even helped Killian catch fish, jumping with joy when she first felt the water lapping at her feet, the smaller fish tickling her as they swam past. Killian silently enjoyed her carefreeness, her heart soaring at her happiness. This was all he wanted for her - but he had never anticipated the price would have been so steep. He knew what needed to be done, now. He had no control over this Darkness. He was weak, he had succumbed to it before in the past, and he had let it take over today. He could not imagine what would happen when he was not strong enough to pull back. He had seen the way it had wrecked Baelfire’s family, seen what the Darkness had turned Rumplestiltskin into.

He did not want that for his family. He pulled out the magic bean he had been carrying with him for centuries, having stolen it from Pan on his very last visit to Neverland. He had held on to it in hopes that he would use it once he had freed Alice. But he needed to get away from here, where the temptation was always there. Nothing would be able to stop him from sinking, not even his family.

He had heard of the Land without Magic from Baelfire; he would use the bean to go there. He would make sure he did not have his memories, that he would have nothing that would bring him back here. Not until Emma had found a cure to this plague. She would understand his reasons, she had to. Killian could not handle being here, he did not want to fight against the Darkness for a second longer than he had to. And if he went to the Land without Magic, he wouldn’t have to.

Once the fish was caught, cooked, and consumed, Alice promptly fell asleep again. That was good, he decided. He would not be able to tell Alice goodbye; he couldn’t watch her cry again. He had hurt her enough.

“Killian?” Emma called out, pulling him away from his thoughts. “Is everything alright? Is it- is the Darkness speaking to you again?” she asked, worry evident in her tone.

He smiled at her half-heartedly, grabbing her right hand in his own, fiddling with the green stone ring on her finger. He remembered the night she had told him the story about it, about how her mother had stolen the ring from her father, and how Prince David found Snow White, and how they fell in love. He wanted something like that for them. He wanted True Love. He wanted to believe that they would find each other again, no matter how long it took.

“No, darling. Just my own thoughts that are keeping me awake.”

“Do you want to talk about it? After all, aren’t married people supposed to share their burdens?” Emma teased, smiling coyly at him.

“Oh, Swan,” he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, pulling her to him. Emma snuggled into his body, pressing her nose to his neck, exhaling softly. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too, Jones.”

He closed his eyes, revelling in the moment, burning it to his memory. He needed just a moment, where everything was alright. He had finally managed to free his child, and he was engaged to the woman he loved. If it weren’t for the Darkness, this would be the best moment of his life; he wanted to pretend that it was. Just for a moment.

So he did, but he pulled away the next. “I need to talk to you, Emma.”

Emma pursed her lips, staring at him seriously. “Why do I get the feeling that I won’t like what you are about to say?”

“Oh, you will most surely hate it. But I-”

“Don’t say it,” she cut him off. “Don’t do it. Whatever you are thinking of - don’t.”

He sighed deeply, reaching for her hand, but she pulled away. She eyed him warily, her arms wrapped around herself protectively. “You don’t get to hold my hand and break my heart, Killian.”

“Dammit, Emma. I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m doing this for you,” Killian snapped, standing up and starting to pace. “I need to leave, get far away from here. I am not strong enough to control this. I will descend much deeper into the Darkness, and I cannot come out of it. I will hurt you and Alice. I don’t want that.”

“What about what we want?” Emma whispered, eerily calm. “What about what I want? I want you to stay, and fight this. You have us, lean on us.” She stood up too, her eyes glassy with tears, her teeth biting the inside of her cheek.

“I can’t, Emma. Please, don’t make me. I can’t fight. I will fail, and I don’t want that. I don’t want this Darkness. I never should have taken the Dagger.” Killian could hear the desperation in his own voice.

Emma let out a long, shuddering breath. “What do you want to do?” she asked, after a long silence.

And so he told her, every detail of his plan laid out in front of Emma. He could practically see how every word out of his mouth broke her heart a little bit more. But she let him talk and listened attentively. She didn’t say a word, not until he was done.

“You’ll be in this Land without Magic, and you will not have any of your memories, is that right?” she asked softly, her eyes trained on the ground.

He waited a beat, hoping she would look up at him. But when it became evident that she wouldn’t, he replied with a simple ‘Aye.’

She took in a deep breath, and exhaled slowly, nodding to herself. She finally looked him in the eye, her gaze sharp and determined, every bit the stubborn, strong woman he had fallen in love with. “I will get the answer to this dilemma, and I will come for you. I will find you.” Her words were confident and firm. Before he could thank her, however, she cut him off. “Do not think for one moment that this doesn’t break my heart.”

He swallowed thickly, knowing that there was only one thing left to you. “I need to leave now. Before Alice wakes up.”

Emma’s brows pulled together, and he could sense her anger. “You’re not even going to tell your daughter goodbye?” she demanded.

“I can’t do it, Emma. She will be devastated, she will make me stay. I can’t allow that to happen.”

She stared at him quietly, her rage radiating off of her in waves, her eyes wide and nostrils flaring. “You are a coward, Killian Jones,” she declared.

He hung his head in shame, moving toward his sleeping daughter, kneeling beside her. His throat was thick with tears, his heart hurt simply thinking about leaving her. He had never been so far from her - now, not only would he be in another realm, he would have no memory of her. It was for the best, though. It had be.

He squeezed his eyes shut, brushing Alice’s hair away from her forehead, pressing the lightest of kisses there, lingering for a moment before he pulled away. He took her in for a moment, knowing that he would miss watching her grow up. Just a few years, he told himself. You will see her in a few years.

“You don’t have to leave, Killian.” Emma’s soft voice floated through the air. “You could stay.”

Killian got up, taking one last look at his daughter before he turned to Emma. “Have you come up with a way to replace my memories in the Land without Magic?” he asked her, ignoring her statements.

She sighed, clearly still angry with him, but nodded. “I can modify your existing memories, I can store the real ones in a Dreamcatcher.”

“Let us do this, then.”

-/-

Present: Camelot

“This is yours?” Killian asked, tracing the hilt of Excalibur, Merlin’s name etched on the blade. It looked just like the Dark One’s dagger, only much longer and with an end missing. But Merlin explained that as well - how he had forged Excalibur, how the sword was broken by the first Dark One, how the Dark One had murdered his love, Nimue. How he tethered the Darkness to the Dagger.

The Darkness hissed at that, screaming at Killian to destroy the wizard and ravage Camelot, to let it free. He was thankful for the cuff preventing him from doing any magic, because he was certain he would have given in. He could hear the whispers from the Dagger, driving him insane.

“Yes,” Merlin answered. “Now you know everything you need to. We need to hurry, rid the world of this Darkness. Once and for all.”

“What about Gothel?” Alice asked. “What if she decides to stop us?”

“She will need to go through me, then,” Killian piped up, his jaw clenched tight. “Where do we need to go to find this Promethean flame?” he asked, addressing Merlin.

“It’s not too far, but I need to warn you. This is your battle, Killian. The Darkness will try everything to convince you not to do this. You will either win, or it will take over you, forever. There can be no cuff stopping you from using your magic,” Merlin warned. “This is ancient magic, more powerful than you could ever imagine. You did not have to face its true extent for decades, if what you say is true.”

“Aye, I understand.” Killian had made up his mind - after everything his daughter and Emma had sacrificed for him, he needed to step up. He had to face everything he had run away from, and he needed to start with the Darkness.

“Papa, perhaps we should talk about this?” Alice suggested, looking vexed at the task ahead of them. “Couldn’t I do this?” she asked Merlin.

“No, Starfish. It is my turn to take care of you now. I need to face my demons. And I will,” Killian vowed. He turned to Merlin. “Tell me everything I need to do, and I will do it.”

-/-

Present Day: Enchanted Forest

Emma panted heavily, her wrists sore from the constant friction against the shackles, feeling weak and useless as Gothel used her vile magic to delve into her mind. It was the worst torment, feeling a strange presence in her mind, moving through her thoughts and memories, invading her. It was a great violation, one that left her sick to her stomach. No matter how much she tried to resist, Gothel’s magic was stronger than Emma’s.

If there was any light magic left in her, it was hindered by the shackles she wore or was buried deep under layers of dark magic. Emma wanted to cry; her light magic had been the only constant in her life, and for it to be violated and corrupted, hurt in innumerable ways. She had never thought there could exist a person so cruel, a person who understood how precious natural magic was and could still inflict such horrors on another, like Gothel was.

She had tried so hard, for so long, to fight. But she had lost all ability to - and if she was being honest with herself, all will to. Emma was tired of being strong. She had finally been broken, and she did not have the fight left in her. She knew that was what Gothel wanted, and she had tried so hard not to give the witch that satisfaction - but she couldn’t hold on anymore.

Emma closed her eyes, tears running down the corners of her eyes, and she gave complete control of herself to Gothel. The Darkness had won.

-/-

20 years ago: Enchanted Forest

Emma gave the Dreamcatcher to Killian, not able to bring herself to take his memories. He understood, knowing that what he had already asked of her was a great enough price. She could not believe what Killian was about to do. She was certain that it was the Darkness in him that had made him so paranoid and so selfish. She would have fought him on his decision, if she had been talking to Killian alone. But the Darkness was unpredictable, and she could understand Killian’s fear. She might not support his decision, but she could at least understand where he came from.

She stood to the side, as she watched him perform the spell to transfer his memories on to the Dreamcatcher once he had crossover to the other realm. She still had him here with her, for a few moments at least. She fiddled with her mother’s ring for a moment before she took it off all together. Emma approached Killian, both of them smiling shakily at each other.

“My pirate,” she whispered fondly, looking up at him, her eyes roaming over every inch of his face, etching him into her memory. “It’s almost time, isn’t it?”

“Aye. Emma. I am sorry, love.” He brushed his knuckles down her cheek softly, looking at her with a kind of broken tenderness that made her gut clench.

She pressed her mother’s ring in his palm, shocking him. He stared at her, his lips moving wordlessly. “I just thought - Well, you gave me a ring. It felt right, to give you my mother’s. It’s a promise, I guess. And- We never got to the wedding, technically, and I expect that once you come back. But until then….” She trailed off, closing his fingers around the ring.

“Until then,” he vowed, softly, but with great conviction.

She nodded, swallowing hard at the lump in her throat. It was useless, though, as tears welled heavy in her eyes. She clutched the lapel of his greatcoat tightly, pulling him down to her. She pressed their lips together, kissing him with everything she had, wet and desperate, their breaths mingling every time they pulled back for air. She was loathe to end it, biting down on his lip. Killian was the one to pull away, his hand on her shoulder, both of them breathing heavily.

He pulled the Dagger from inside his jacket, handing it to Emma with a trembling hand. “Hold on to this for me, aye?”

Emma took the Dagger with both hands, her thumb tracing his name etched in the metal. “There’s still time to change your mind.”

“Swan.”

“I know...I - I don’t know how long it will be until I see you again. What if I never find a way to save you? You’re immortal, I am not.”

Killian nodded, his eyes serious and unwavering. “I know, love. And I think I know a way to prevent that.”

“What?” she asked, curious. He hesitated, looking at her with a strange, apologetic look in his eyes. “What is it?” she demanded, pulling away from him completely.

“I’m sorry, Emma. I couldn’t think of another way,” he said, sounding helpless.

“What do you-”

But before she could finish the sentence, he released a burst of magic her way. Emma gasped, feeling the Darkness hit her, the force of it sending her flying. She felt her magic flare up to fight against the invading power, the heavy, foul magic pushing its way through. Emma could feel it flow through her veins, her entire body unbearably hot. She could hardly move, laying slumped against a tree.

Emma gaped at Killian, the betrayal causing bile to rise in her throat, tears of anger threatening to fall. He looked remorsefully at her, his heartbreak apparent on his features.

“I am so sorry, Swan,” he called out. He threw the bean to the ground, the portal opening up immediately. “I love you. This was the only way I could make sure we see other again.”

Emma choked on a sob, feeling breathless and crippled, watching as Killian walked through the portal, leaving her with a gaping hole in her chest, and whatever spell he hit her with, destroying both her heart and soul, in one fell swoop.

[sam-i-am-27]

Split

Summary: Felix just wanted a birthday with his friends. Mark just wanted to go home and not bother anyone. Instead of getting their wishes, they and Ethan are kidnapped by a strange man in a doctor’s outfit and a German accent.

Word Count: 1700

Warnings: Kidnapping, Nudity Implication, Urine, Abuse, Crying

Yes, this is an AU of the movie Split. 

At the party, there were almost a dozen teenagers gathered around one boy with bleached blonde hair and the beginnings of a thick, curly beard. All of them were belting at the tops of their lungs a chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’ as they stared at a chocolate cake decorated with the same words. All of them seemed happy, except one. This boy was sitting over to the side of the party, looking out the window and ignoring all the celebrations.

Ten minutes later, the boy was still sitting there, now on his phone and talking to someone quietly. The birthday boy walked up to his mother and best friend, shrugging. “Mercy invites always end up like this.”

“It was your idea to invite everyone in your editing class,” his mother said.

“What? That’s literally the rudest thing anyone could do, especially since she has no social media that I know of and because of that, I had to ask her either up-front or not at all.”

His mother smiled. “I’m proud that you think that way, Felix… I hope my pride is in the right place.”

“I mean, Mark’s one of those people who’s a bit of a rebel. He yells at teachers a lot, and consequently, he gets detention a lot.”

“What a big word, Felix!” his friend commented.

“Shut up, Ethan,” Felix said, giving his friend a playful punch in the shoulder. “Maybe she can uber?”

“No, we’re not leaving until she’s got a visible ride outside the door. And that’s final,” his mother said. They quieted down as Mark got off the phone and approached the three.

“Yeah, uh, my uncle’s stuck in heavy traffic and won’t be here for another three hours or so. I’ll be fine waiting by myself. Or even better, I’ll take the bus” he said.

“You’re not taking a bus. We’ll drive you home, it’s fine,” Felix’s mother smiled softly. “This may be the last time I get to drive you around since Felix has almost saved up enough for his own car!”

Felix scowled at his mom, his ears growing a bit red as Ethan hid a smirk behind his hand.

“Uh, no. I wouldn’t want to trouble you.”

“Nonsense, it’ll be fine!” Felix’s mom said.

“All you’ll be missing if you don’t come is a weird music choice somewhere between Bowie and Cardi B,” Felix said.

Without much choice, Mark followed the family out of the establishment and into the parking lot, lagging behind a little since he didn’t really know either Felix or Ethan. They reached the car and slowly began piling Felix’s coutless presents into the trunk. As Felix and Ethan piled into the back seats of the car, Mark helped Felix’s mother with the leftover food and gifts.

“Thank you, Mark. I got the rest,” she said, giving him a warm smile. Not wanting to argue, he got into the shotgun seat and waited quietly. In the back, he could hear Felix and Ethan laughing about whatever videos they had found posted by their classmates. There was a thud as the trunk closed and instinctively, Mark glanced at the side-view mirror to see if something was coming up behind him.

There was nothing there so when the door next to him opened, he pulled on his seat belt. As he was about to fasten it into the lock, he glanced back into the mirror. Boxes of cake and pizza were splattered all over the ground. Birthday gifts were strewn about the food.

As slow as possible, Mark turned in his seat, letting the seat belt fall back into place. In the place where Felix’s mom was supposed to be was a middle-aged man wearing a long white lab coat, rubber gloves and spotless teal scrubs. His hair was mostly hidden by one of those weird hats but a few strands of green were poking out around his square-rim glasses.

He sighed in annoyance, pulling out a green cloth, wrapping it around his index finger and scrubbing the little hula lady atop the dashboard. He then began to meticulously pick up little pieces of trash and place them into the cupholder.

Felix and Ethan’s laughs subsided as they finally realized that Felix’s mother had been replaced.

“Sir, I think you have the wrong car,” Felix said.

The Doctor didn’t say anything, only completing his doctor-look with a surgical mask. Mark’s mind raced a million miles in less than half-a-second. He was either protecting his identity or was protecting himself from something airborne. Either way, this wasn’t the situation he needed to be in and he needed to escape right now.

The question was answered within seconds, he had locked the doors and was spraying some sort of chemical into both Felix and Ethan’s faces, making them cough for a few seconds and then pass out cold.

Mark’s world tunneled. Definitely not a situation he needed to be in. Everything was going in slow-motion, the only sounds were Mark’s own heart beat and the annoyed sighs of the Doctor as he continued to clean the dashboard with his yellow cloth.

Not daring to breath, Mark reached up and grasped the door handle with two fingers. He needed to be as quiet as possible about this as possible… the Doctor didn’t even know he existed yet…

The sound of it unlocking and the sudden beeping was as loud and sudden as a gunshot. The Doctor whipped around, surprised at the noise, and looked Mark dead in the eyes. In that instant, Mark knew there was no escape for him.

He sent a pleading look to the Doctor He wasn’t supposed to be here! He was supposed to be on a bus heading home! Tears began to roll down his face. Please…

The Doctor only scowled, pulled the mask on again and held the spray can up to Mark’s face.

A long hallway filled with pipes and dim lights… He was being rolled somewhere…The squeak of metal on metal…

Where was he?

Something soft and warm…

He opened his eyes a crack and saw Ethan and Felix huddled together on a single cot, breathing rapidly and looking absolutely terrified beyond words.

When Felix saw him awake, he tapped Ethan’s arm quickly.

Neither of them said anything as Mark sat up, his stomach sore from sleeping on it for however long he was out. In front of him was a large metal door surrounded by polished dark wood. The metal was rusty but smoothed down so there was no chance of a hand-hold; same with the wood.

“We woke up in here,” Felix said as Mark turned to look at the small, pure bathroom. A toilet, a shower, an oval mirror and a sink. Everything inside was blinding white except a single yellow tulip sitting in a glass on the sink.

He pushed himself up and took deep breath.

“What the fuck is going on? What are we doing here? Mark, do you know what happened to my mom?”

“Shh. He’s out there,” Ethan whispered.

“Do you know what happened to my mom?” Felix repeated desperately.

A door closed loudly outside of the one they were looking at. They all began to breathe heavily, at the sound, keeping their eyes fixed on the door. Lights began to turn on as the door handle turned and the door itself was opened by the same man in a white lab coat. He was carrying fold-up wooden chair and didn’t say a word as unfolded the chair, keeping his annoyed expression focused on the three.

Before he sat down, he pulled out the same yellow rag and wiped the seat clean of any and all dirt, folded it up into a neat little square and put it into his pocket. He folded his arms and stared at them. He glanced over at Ethan, who was obviously the most uncomfortable, rubbing his thumb rapidly on his thigh.

The Doctor stood, pointing at Ethan.

“I choose you first,” he said in a heavy German accent. He folded up the chair with a snap and brought it into the back room. In the short amount of time he was given, Mark examined the room. Dirty cement walls, a large clothing rack… and not much else from where he was sitting.

The Doctor returned just as Felix was beginning to comfort Ethan again. He walked to Ethan deliberately.

“Zis vill only be a minute,” he said, grabbing Ethan and ripping him from Felix. Both yelled in agitation, but Felix was at least smart enough not to try and take Ethan back, falling back to screaming into his hands from the cot. Ethan managed to pry himself from the Doctor’s grip long enough to run to Mark.

Mark took his face in his hands and muttered, “Pee on yourself,” just before the man got ahold of Ethan again and forcefully carried Ethan out the door. Ethan tried in vain to grab the door itself, but received a sharp slap in retaliation. His screams still echoed in the small room even after the door was closed. They could hear him whimpering, pleading for the Doctor not to do… something.

Felix ran to the door and began to pound desperately, screaming for the Doctor to release his friend. “No! No! Open the door!”

The Doctor suddenly heeded his cries, throwing the door open and carrying in Ethan. He set him down between the two cots and growled angrily, shaking his wrists in attempt to get something off of his hands. He leaned against the door and yelled between his teeth, almost pained by whatever was on his hands. With one last, growl, he slammed the door shut, leaving a sobbing, urine-covered Ethan, being comforted by Felix.

“He wanted me to dance… the outside door is locked,” Ethan muttered, stumbling quietly to the bathroom.

Felix let him go, understanding the need to shower off everything that had just happened, physically and metaphorically. He took a shaky breath. “We’re okay… we’re okay…”

He went into the bathroom to help Ethan, leaving Mark on the cot, breathing just as shakily, tears slowly forcing their way out of his eyes. This couldn’t be happening… it couldn’t…

Uh... yeah! 

Taglist is open and if I have you on general taglist and haven’t tagged you, just let me know! I’m an idiot and don’t keep a list.

Reblogs are accepted you’ve all seen the posts...

Please, if there any tw tags I need to add, let me know immediately! I put as many as I thought were needed but if there any more that need adding, let me know please!

Have a good day!

Taglist: @nightmarejasmine

[taurus-annie-main]

Four Leaf Clover

Summary : Following your mother’s mischievous deeds, she is cursed to have her first born child bear the Lover’s Bad Luck Curse. That first born child happens to be you. After a slew of unfortunate happenings with boyfriends, you’re determined to find a cure and by chance, your mission brings you the library where you meet an annoying librarian who says he has good luck.

You were cursed, yes cursed. Well, to be completely honest your mother was cursed, but at the end of the day it affected you.

Before stashing her cauldron away for the frying pans, your mother was notable witch and on one fateful day she happened to cross the wrong witch. As a result her first born was cursed with Lover’s Bad Luck. Yes, you.

And what is Lover’s Bad Luck one may wonder?

In simple terms, all the men you dared to love get bad luck. Your first boyfriend, that poor soul, lost his expensive new phone to a good friend’s aquarium. Now, you hadn’t known of your curse then, but upon hearing of your boyfriend’s tale of bad luck, your mother finally decided to divulge in you the tale of the ‘curse’.  Stubborn as you were, you brushed off your mother’s words as a joke but in the next day you’d met your boyfriend, he somehow managed to lose his diamond Pokemon cards in a chance incident. You decided to actually heed your mother’s words.

Like all people you weren’t perfect and so, in college you tried again in the hopes that maybe the curse had forgotten. In a week of being with your college beau, he’d lost the winning lottery ticket to a prize of £2.3 million and broke his ankle whilst trying to dig through the trash for the missing ticket.  You quickly ended that relationship.

So now you lived a life of shunning away whatever male showed interest in you. At first it was hard because like most, you desire to be loved but you couldn’t risk whatever consequence the poor guy could encounter. There was enough blood on your hands.

You usually didn’t wander far from your home, the curse had made you somewhat of a disgruntled recluse, but the library had sent you a warning letter about the overdue books you had. And so, on a particularly grey day you made your way into the city library. You hadn’t been in there since your college days of essays and assignments, it was a better time.

The library wasn’t busy at this time of day, thankfully. Holding the two books you borrowed, you go straight to the desk, which of course is empty. You wait for a minute, hoping that the librarian would make their way out but realising you look quite like the idiot, you finally decided to ring the bell.

“One sec,” you heard a voice say.

Sticking to their word, the staff door swung open and a man walked out - you noted that he look too chirpy for such a dreary day - to be honest, everything about him seemed too chirpy, the blinding smile, obnoxious sweater and twinkling eyes. And then you realised it, he was kind of cute. Shit.

“How can I help you today?” he asked.

You looked down at his name tag, Baekhyun.

“Uh … I’m just here to return these books,” you cleared your throat and made a considerable effort not to look into his eyes.

“Alright, I’ll just scan them out for you,” he said, taking the books you’d laid out on the counter. He looked down at the cover and raised his eyebrows. “You’re into the occult?”

You shook your head. “No, not really.”

You were not about to confess that you spent half of your time reading occult books in the hopes of finding someway to reverse the curse. Although, your mother said she’d tried everything known to man and witch-kind, you weren’t about to give up no matter how much you felt like you should. You were young, the perfect age for a flowery romance and God forbid if you didn’t get one.

“Hmm, are you sure?” he asked, sneaking you a playful glance as he scanned the first book. “Actually, I think it’s kinda cool.”

You hummed in response, a subtle cue for him to drop it and just scan the book. However, this Baekhyun character seemed not catch your drift and carried on.

“My aunt used to be really into it. She used to make me and my sister wear good luck charms wherever we went,” he said. “I have no idea if it works though.”

“Cool,” you muttered, as your fingers tapped against the marbled surface.

“But I still wear it, it makes great - oh, these are overdue,” he said, squinting his eyes as he moved closer to the screen.

You dug your credit card out of your pants. “Sorry, I forgot to mention it. I’ll pay now.”

He pulled out a card terminal, and you quickly typed in your details. You needed to get out of this conversation, quick. His smile was too damn bright and face too cute when he smiled. You couldn’t risk him also dealing with your bad luck baggage.

The moment he’d said it was all done, you flashed him a toothless smile and bee-lined it straight out of the library.

You hadn’t wanted to, but the next week you found yourself walking up the grand steps leading up the library’s entrance. A new book had come in and it specialized in medieval remedies for curses. A glimmer of hope and yet it wasn’t the only thing the drew you to the building.

It was safe to say that you’d developed the small and annoying ‘itch’  to see the chirpy librarian. You weren’t going to talk to him, instead you’d just sneak the odd glance that you hoped would satisfy that ‘need’.

Having not seen the chirpy librarian at the counter, you decided to head over the history aisle. Those types of books were usually stored there. Turning the corner into the history aisle, you noticed that same head of dark hair and cherub features. You stood frozen for a moment until that is Baekhyun stopped filing the books and turned towards you, an airy smile blossoming on his face as he recognized you.

You offered him a small smile and made your way down the aisle. Your heart was hammering hard in your chest and tried to fight the heat tinging the tips of your ear. It was like meeting that boy you had a crush on in high school.  

“Lemme guess, you’re here for a book on the occult?” he said with a smirk dancing on his dainty features.  

You nodded. “You’re right.”

“So much for not being into the occult,” he said.“I think I know what book you’re looking for.”

You watched as he pulled a leather bound book, it looked as though it’d be through many hands. 'Foster’s book on curses.’ the title read.

“You’re right again,” you said.

He handed you the book. “I saw it come in and thought you might like it.”

At his words, what can only be described as butterflies flowered in you stomach. You tried your hardest to mentally stomp them out, so what if he’d thinking of you, the curse was still alive and well.

“Thanks,” you said, unable to fight the smile on your face. It was probably the most of you smiled in a good while.

[occasionalfics]

The Arrow and the Flame, xi

part x

Summary: Your punishment for stealing units sucks, but it could be worse. You help Yondu with his punishment, and then your father has some sneaky proposition that you don’t particularly like. 

A/N: This one is on the shorter end. I’m glad you’re all liking it though! I keep saying that, but honestly, it really means a lot. I’m getting close to finishing this story (I think), and it’s been requested that I write a Kraglin x reader story so that’ll probably come soon-ish. I’ve been thinking a lot about it and I’m excited to get into it!

Tags: @thewildomega @pitrymcbride @overwatchemporium

Words: 2,075

~~~

Three weeks went by slowly. Your father hardly looked at you. You didn’t know why he was so angry - or maybe he was embarrassed. But to that extent? It was a little much.

Your mother spoke to you only in official settings. She addressed you as Officer Ogord and called you to the top deck of the ship only when she absolutely had to. Maybe they were still trying to make a point to the crew, you figured. It just felt like they were blowing things out of proportion.

Your night shifts were relatively easy. Most of the time, the medical ward was empty. Occasionally there’d be an Officer fresh off of a heist with an open wound, and you’d rush out of an empty medical bed to wake the doctor on duty, but that was basically the extent of your job.

Most nights, though, you were alone. After the first few shifts, Yondu got in the habit of following you after dinner.

“Yer parents ain’t never said I had ta train in a trainin’ room,” he said with a shrug. He winked at you, stood in the middle of the room, and tried to find the perfect pitch to get the Yaka arrow to heed his command.

After a few hours, you’d drift to sleep, often times waking with Yondu pressed against you in one tiny bed or another. It wasn’t any more comfortable than the bunks, but at least you were almost always alone.

Toward the end of the third week of this routine, you were sitting on a bed, legs spread out in front of you, watching Yondu do what he did every night. “Have you had any luck?” you asked.

He whistled a bit higher than he had been, and the arrow jumped from his hand. You’d seen that happen before. It wasn’t as impressive as it had been the first couple of times.

“Not too much,” he said, gaze stuck on the metal in his hand.

“What’s Reyus been saying?” you asked.

He shrugged. “Not much.” He whistled again, this time longer than the last, but at the same pitch. The arrow hovered over his palm until his whistle stopped, and then it fell right back. “They don’ know much ‘bout Yaka metal. But I don’t neither.”

You cocked your head to the side and tried to watch his features in the dark. The bright light from the hallway was all that lit the room, but it was enough for you to see how disappointed he was. He didn’t want to be demoted. No one did. He wanted to control the arrow, to understand how it worked and to make his captain proud. You wanted that, too, to prove he was worth this whole mess. You knew he was. Your parents had to, too.

“What about Kraglin?” you asked. “He’s Dunker’s apprentice. Knows a lot about weapons.”

He looked at you. “No one but other Centaurians know what this is.” He rose his hand toward you. “None of’em know what to do to get it to work.”

You sighed. “I’m just sayin’, Kraglin knows his shit. Maybe he’d have an idea or something.”

He dropped his hand, the arrow tight in his fist. “He’s just a kid,” he said.

“He knows a lot more about blasters than I do and I’ve been around them my whole life.” You shifted so you were kneeling, then pushed yourself to the end of the bed. “Besides, what’s the harm in asking?”

“What if he don’ know nothin’?” he asked.

You shrugged. “Then he doesn’t know anything. We figure it out from there.”

He stared at you, his red eyes never leaving yours. After a couple of seconds, his face softened and he smiled. But he didn’t say anything. He whistled without looking away from you. The arrow rose from his palm, which he’d unfurled, and as he kept the tune, it went higher and higher. You watched it, rather than Yondu, as it pointed toward you but didn’t come close.

He gave a little burst of a whistle, and the arrow went flying. It zoomed past you, hit the wall, and ricocheted around the room. You ducked and covered your head as it clanked against the walls, causing sparks to flare and die out before they hit the floor. Then Yondu whistled in a lower tone and the arrow returned to him.

You slowly came out from your position and looked at him. “What the hell was that?” you asked, glancing at all the spots on the walls that were black and bent from impact.

“Just had a feelin’ is all,” he said with a shrug. Then he lifted the arrow to his line of vision and studied it. “Not a dang scratch.”

“How’d you do that?” you asked, moving to the end of the bed, holding onto the rails to keep from falling over.

“I told ya,” he said. “Just a feelin’.”

You shook your head. “Two minutes ago you had no idea how to make it move more than a couple of inches from your hand, Yondu,” you said. “Either you were lying to me then or you’re lying to me now.” You smirked to let him know you weren’t mad, just smarter than he was allowing himself to think. He still kept quiet, though, never looking away.

“Hey,” you said. “Maybe if you tell me, I’ll do something for you.” You winked at him.

Finally he rolled his eyes and shook his head. “‘S embarrassin’,” he said.

You leaned further forward and shrugged. “Then I definitely want to hear it.”

He sighed and looked at the floor. “I...was thinkin’...a you. Stopped focusin’ on gettin’ the dang thing in the air and thought ‘bout us figurin’ it all out. Together.”

You bit your lip and watched him for a few seconds. He didn’t move, so you got off the bed and went around to stand in front of him. He still didn’t look up. You stepped to him, pressing your hips against his, throwing your arms around his neck. That got his attention.

“You stopped using your head,” you said matter-of-factly. “Started using your heart. Maybe that’s the trick.”

His hands went to your hips, one flat against your pants and the other balled into a fist, keeping his arrow in place. His smile was devilish and crooked, and it sent shivers throughout your body. You could’ve had him then, but knew that if you’d gotten caught, you’d be in even more trouble than you already were. Sometimes you could get away with fooling around on the job, but not with your parents already so indignant.

You settled for making out as he leaned forward and kissed you, slowly at first. Then his tongue was on your lips, then against your tongue, and then they were battling for dominance. You leaned against him and felt his balled hand leave your side. A second later, hot metal was against your face, but it felt nice. His knuckles rested just below your cheekbone.

And then someone cleared their throat. It wasn’t you and it wasn’t Yondu. You would’ve felt it if it had been. You opened your eyes and pulled away from the kiss, then looked at the doorway to the room. Your father was staring at you with a straight glare in his eyes. He didn’t look happy, but he certainly didn’t look as angry as he had been.

“Officer Ogord,” he said. “Officer Udonta. Good to see you’re making things work with this new schedule.”

You nodded, wanting to look away to hide the blush you felt in your neck. But you couldn’t. Your Captain was addressing you directly.

“I wish you’d be paying more attention to your assignment, Officer Ogord, but I’ll allow this distraction on account of the room being empty.” He came into the room, stopping just a few inches from you and Yondu. “I have a proposition for the two of you. But I need you to swear to secrecy.”

You turned and felt Yondu’s hands fall from you. It was fine, you told yourself. It was respectful, with your Father right there.

“I swear,” you said with barely a hesitation.

Yondu looked at you, then at your father, then you again. You looked back and nodded.

He took a second, then went back to your father. “I swear,” he said.

Your father nodded, his mouth almost turning into a small smile. “Good. I have reliable word that there’s a certain artifact on Krylor waiting for us to take it.”

“Sounds pretty standard, Captain,” you said.

“Yes, well,” he said. “It’s not. It’s big. It’s worth a lot, and it’s hidden in a deep, dark cave. It’s said there are traps all over, and that no one has been able to find the artifact and collect it.”

“How much is it worth?” Yondu asked.

Your father smiled then. “A million units.”

Your eyes widened, and you almost fell forward. “A million?! Did I just year you say a million units?” you asked.

“You did, Officer,” he said with a nod. “So I need you two, Martinex, and that Kraglin kid for this assignment. He’s good with weapons and Dunker says the kid’s got a lot of fight in him. You two know him best. I need you to recruit him before dinner tomorrow.”

“What about Reyus?” you asked.

Your father shook his head. “Officer Cordor can’t be involved.”

“Why not?” you asked. Reyus was one of the most competent Officers you’d ever seen. Until Yondu had come along, they were your first choice for First Mate when you became captain. If anyone could get you in and out of a deadly cave for a million units, it was Reyus.

“That’s classified, Officer. Remember your place,” your father said.

You sighed and felt your brows furrow, even though you knew he was coming from his place as Captain, not your father, in his response.

“This mission can only involve me, the two of you, Martinex, and Kraglin,” he repeated. “Get the kid by tomorrow or I’ll extend your punishment,” he pointed at you, then turned to Yondu. “And I’ll shorten yours.”

In a fashion unlike your father, he turned on his heels and left without another word or glance. You were stunned. So stunned, in fact, that you didn’t realize you’d forgotten to ask about your mother until Yondu said something.

“That was weird.”

You nodded. “He’s never that secretive.”

“Maybe he don’t want anyone gettin’ in the way?” he asked.

You looked at him, but couldn’t figure out what to say. There was no excuse for your father’s odd behavior. There didn’t seem to be a good reason to deny good help from Reyus, and it was very bizarre that he was not including your mother in his plans. They were equals, you thought. They always planned assignments and heists and missions together.

“He doesn’t want Reyus there, but he wants Martinex,” you said. “He wants us and Kraglin, but not my mother?”

“Darlin’,” he said, “we ain’t in much of’a position to be questionin’ our captain.”

You took a second, but in the end you nodded. He was right, you realized. You didn’t like it - you were used to having some sway with your parents, but you’d gotten yourself into this situation in the first place.

“He never actually told us what we’d get out of the whole deal,” you said. “He just threatened to make this,” you gestured to the room in general, “longer. This isn’t like him.”

“Maybe so,” Yondu said. “We can figure it out as we go, but...if we wanna go back to normal, we gotta do what he wants.”

You wondered how that would go over with your mother. But more than that, you knew: “I’m gonna have to get him alone to ask questions. He won’t answer anything around Martinex especially. But maybe he’ll tell me what’s going on if I can talk to him without anyone around.”

“I’m not hearin’ a ‘no’, though,” he said with a smirk.

You shrugged. “You’re right. We have to do this if we want things back the way we like them. Doesn’t mean I don’t have questions.”

He stepped close to you again, brought you close with one hand, and kissed you. It was just a peck, but it still made you warm anyway. “I like you sneaky,” he said.