#i said 'have you sent matt money for snacks yet or should i'

[onyourstageleft]

one of my favorite parts of being an adult with stable & disposable income is doing little things for my friends. husband's best friend tells the group chat that he lost his job? hubs and I message each other at the same time to go "imma send him money for snacks." we've been playing fortnite with our partner and her sister & her sister is the only one without battle pass? consider it gifted. these people have been here for me for the last 4+ years and we were all riding the struggle bus together in college, it makes me so happy to be able to give them a little bit of happiness especially when I don't get to see them in person that much anymore

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 191

191

   Lance spent every moment he could before they left making sure the house was cleaned from top to bottom, then bottom to top. The nursery had gotten his blood flowing again, Pidge roped into playing delivery person for him as he fixed up his garden, mulched and pruned, then scolded himself over spending so much money. Then there was Pidge’s birthday party that they’d nearly missed as Lance had let the days of the week slip by. If it hadn’t been for Hunk, they would have been fined a hefty present tax, and had Pidge teasing them for the rest of their lives. The party was small, games and alcohol, Lance trying to do the catering, while Hunk tried to make sure he got in and did everything that needed to be done before Lance could do it. Moving felt better than sitting still. Keith letting him work until he was too tired, then would force feed him as he put him down for a nap... from which Lance would wake up and find himself cleaning again.

  Deep cleaning the house felt good. Keith putting up with hanging the washing out, then bringing it in. Everything from the linen cupboard hit with vinegar washes to kill any mould particles that thought they had a right to make themselves at home. The only room to escape was Matt’s and Rieva’s, as they were entitled to their privacy, and Rieva was being fussy over how many hours he was spending on his feet. He’d been banned from cooking by her, and even having to get up to pee earned him a scowl over being on his feet. She’d smacked when he’d tried to mow the lawn, pretty much chasing him back inside and forcing him to leave his precious lawn half mowed. He was an old man robbed of his pleasure as far as he was concerned. Sure, he was plenty sleepy during the day, but once he’d been stung with cleaning bug, it left him feeling useful, and being outside meant he didn’t have to listen to Rieva scolding Keith for letting him do too much.

  Honestly, when they’d left the house for their trip, the only thing he was sad about was leaving Blue and Kosmo behind. The pair seemed to think that his cleaning was for their benefit. They’d taken to playing in the middle of night, which spilled over into Blue less than ceremoniously waking them by jumping on Keith’s head as Kosmo barrelled up the bed to get to her. The pair thick as thieves and Blue not afraid to use her humans as a convenient escape. The drive was something like 6 hours, with Keith being on edge over how he’d react to being in the outside world again. His ego putting Lance’s ego on edge, leaving them having a spat just as they’d put their bags in the back of Lance’s bronco. Lance had faith that Keith could do this. Keith had anxiety gushing out of every pore by the bucket load. When Keith snapped at him, Lance had snapped back twice as hard.

  This led to a very tense first hour of driving. No radio. No snacks. No talking. There were plenty of snacks packed. All the snacks and drinks within hands reach sat on the backseat. Hunk had baked cookies, and sent along a bag with them, that they were absolutely not allowed to open until they reached the hotel. Their planned six hours seemed so long, until they reached the first unplanned stop on their trip. Keith pulling in at a service station, Lance knowing instantly that his boyfriend had to know he needed to pee. Even when they fought, Lance knew Keith still had his best interests in mind.

  With breaks in almost every small town they passed through, Lance felt like he’d peed his way half way up America. They’d stopped for lunch at a kind of backwards diner off the main road. The food greasy, the milkshakes icy, but the company made up for it. Being alone with Keith felt soothing, despite the shaky start. He didn’t have to adult. He didn’t have to run around after anyone. He didn’t have to worry about the tiny flecks of dust that seemed to have it their personal mission to settle almost immediately after he’d dusted. All he had to worry about was Braxton-Hicks contractions that worried him a whole heck less now he’d been through real ones, their twins spinning summersaults, and Keith’s terrible choice in music... that’d he’d never admit to secretly loving, especially when Keith would seem to forget he wasn’t alone and start singing along.

  Seeing Keith smile, and having his whole attention sent Lance’s ego into some kind of blissful state. His scent filling the car, accidentally, as he found himself getting horny from watching Keith be so happy. Keith teasing him as he pulled off the main road at the first available chance, for some very awkward car prepping in which Lance got a leg cramp and Keith smacked his head on the sun visor. It then progressed to out of the car sex, Lance lost in bliss all over again at the feeling of Keith’s hands over his skin as his head swam, drunk on Keith’s scent. He hadn’t known what he’d missing, or maybe he had, and that’d contributed to him discovering that he didn’t mind Keith biting his neck, or nipping at his nipples hard enough Lance was sure he’d end up pierced by Keith’s fangs. He’d been so caught up in cleaning, that being intimate had slipped the last few days. He’d become such a slut for Keith’s undivided attention that he could have purred contently, like a fat cat whole stolen a whole bottle of milk for himself.

  He hadn’t told his boyfriend, but he’d packed to play a girl depending on the kind of town it was. He looked female enough to pass. No fake chicken fillets were required to fill out a brallet anymore. He’d packed a wig, and a dress, kind of embarrassed over both, yet willing to face the embarrassment if it meant making the trip easier for his boyfriend. When they’d climbed back into his car, Keith was all smiles as Lance curled into him, ignoring his own rules over seatbelts and sitting properly in a car. He didn’t need to fear his car rolling over, not with Keith behind the wheel, plus leaning against Keith meant kisses on the top of his head as Keith drove, Lance unable to offer to drive thanks to no longer fitting comfortably and a new fear that they would crash and he’d lose the twins if his stomach impacted against the steering wheel. This was really nice. Just a vampire and his werewolf boyfriend off on a life changing trip, and some alone time, until they were party crashed in a couple of days by humans. Yeah. It was nice.

    *

The hotel was a piece of shit and Keith hated it. The town he’d once apparently called home, now verged on some kind of city. The sign in boasting a population of 3000 people, though you wouldn’t know it with sheer amount of people at the hotel. Kids were yelling as they played in the tiny pool in the centre of the U-shaped complex. Parents yelling at their spawn. Their room was upstairs, and the bedding so basic it made his bedroom look fancy. For a hotel boasting about being the only one in town, they had nothing to boast about. Every noise seemed to drift right and through their room.

  Late to check in, Lance offered to go in, Keith shaking his head at the offer. He could totally handle one 2 minute interaction. Said interaction blowing out to 20 minutes, with far too many questions asked. No. He wasn’t there on a get away for Easter. No. He didn’t have kids. No. He didn’t have a wife. Yes. His eyes were an unusual shade of purple. He didn’t know what the old man behind the check in counter got from his interrogation, but he was lucky Keith didn’t snap with how tired he was. He didn’t blame Lance for the numerous stops they’d made, but he did think that maybe they should have split the drive and found somewhere to camp overnight, with less fucking people around.

  Coming waddling out the bathroom, Keith noted Lance had packed his own robe. His stomach on display, with the looped belt sitting just below his breasts. Their room was so “Lance-esque” that his boyfriend blended right in with brown shag pile carpet, khaki bedspread and orange flowered wallpaper. Being Lance, his boyfriend had fixed the dripping shower, instead of simply complaining to management. Keith annoyed his boyfriend didn’t care that the hotel wasn’t great. He was certain he’d heard more than one couple doing the do well into the hours of the morning when normal people should be sleeping. Hell. He should be sleeping. All the scents and sounds, coupled with a boyfriend hogging the blankets had made for a long night.

  Seeing him watching, Lance shot him a smile. Opening his arms, Keith made straight for Lance. The vampire chuckled as he kissed Keith’s hair

“Come on, it’s not all bad”

“It’s not all that good either”

“I know. It’s only for a few days”

“This place is awful”

“It’s not getting a good Yelp review, but it’s not completely horrendous”

This was no place for his pregnant mate. A budget hotel room with a TV smaller than Lance’s laptop, and way too many people

“How do you think this isn’t horrendous?!”

“Because you’re here”

   Lance’s sincere answer made him splutter, Lance chuckling at him as he kissed his hair

“I know it’s not what you expected, but it’s not forever”

“There’s so many people...”

“I know. It’s a lot for your senses. Why don’t you take a shower? We were both too tired last night, and I want to go get something decent to eat. Maybe find you some coffee?”

Coffee sounded good. Showering sounded like too much effort, but after tossing and turning all night, it’d feel good to feel clean of their bedding

“Okay...”

“Don’t take too long though. Your kids are seriously craving pancakes and I might have to stab someone if I don’t get them soon”

Keith gave a weak chuckle, not at all looking forward to the outside world

“We can’t have that. Get dressed and I’ll be out in a bit”

   The shower ran out of hot water halfway through. Keith kicking the wall tiles hard enough that he cracked the tile that took the main impact. Not that he felt bad about in the slightest. When he’d been on the streets, even a place like this would have been heavenly. Now he’d gotten used to being pampered by Lance and the niceness of Platt. He’d been spoiled. He shouldn’t be expecting city niceties in a backwards town like this.

  With a towel barely bigger than a hand towel around his waist, Keith walked back into the bedroom to find Lance had gotten dressed. He’d stumbled to a stop as he stared at his boyfriend. Lance was in a dress. An actual flowy white dress. A wig of long brown hair flowed down past his shoulders. Catching him staring, Lance sighed at him

“Don’t look at me like that”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re confused. Our friends might be okay with me being pregnant, but I don’t want people making assumptions and being rude as fuck”

  They could go fuck themselves sideways as far as Keith was concerned. Lance was Lance. Lance didn’t love wearing dresses and hiding himself... He shouldn’t have to, either

“You dressed like that for me? You didn’t have to...”

“It’s fine, babe”

“But you’re a man...”

“Who’s currently pregnant and just wants his pancakes in peace. Besides, I like to think I look cute”

He did... but it was so freaking weird. Lance was Lance... and now he suddenly had a girlfriend in place of the man he loved

“You always look cute, but I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I don’t want you to feel you have to hide away”

“I know. Look, I figured it’d be easier for these poor country folks. Or don’t you like it? I mean, I can change, but I’m okay for now... more importantly, you know that’s the bath mat you’ve got around your waist, right?”

  No. Why hang it up if it was meant for the floor?! Keith’s cheeks flamed, scrambling for an excuse he pathetically replied

“It does the job”

Lance could only shake his head at him. Keith feeling that was fair

“I did pack our towels. I thought you’d like something more familiar from home. I just didn’t think to grab them”

Lance meant he hadn’t thought to grab them as he rushed off to vomit. Keith copping both the wet noises and the scent. Neither making him feel all that good about their “holiday”

“I’m going to get dressed. Please tell me you’ve found where we can get coffee?”

“As if I’d make you wait for coffee. There’s a restaurant not far from here”

  Thank god for that. He had no idea how this was all going to work, or when they’d be finding his dad’s grave. Now that they were here, he didn’t know how he felt. Yes, he was glad to be there with Lance. But at the same time, everything outside the confines of their crappy room scared him. Logically no one would recognise him. Not when anyone who’d last seen him had seen him as a little kid, but he still feared it. He feared someone from the past coming up to him to say “Oh my god! Are you Keith? I remember when your father died...”. He didn’t want to be remembered. He didn’t want the awkwardness or pity from some stranger. He didn’t even know if he wanted to stay in town long enough for Curtis and Shiro to join them. He did know he wanted to find the shack he’d called home... but even then, he didn’t know what he’d do when he did. All of it felt too much, but all of it would bring some kind of closure. That was if he listened to Lance... Lance who was annoyingly right more times than not. All he could do was hope that he was strong enough to see this through, and that Lance would remain by his side, no matter how he might react.

[90simaginesandfanfics]

Cradle Broken Glass - Chapter Twenty Three

Layla sat in the corner of the living room, surrounded by people, and yet feeling absolutely alone. Phil was in the corner, smoking and laughing with Jerry Cantrell. Mike was making the rounds with shot glasses and offering people copious amounts of alcohol. Stone, Chris, Layne and Matt were on the sofas laughing and telling stories. Ben was, much like herself, sat in a corner and pondering the world, except he looked mildly happy and was conversing when necessary. Mike Starr, Sean Kinney and Kim Thayil were casually smoking joints in the kitchen, and everyone seemed to be having a good time, except her. Jeff and Eddie hadn’t arrived yet, and she was biting her nails in absolute fear of when they did. He hated her, and she couldn’t blame him. She was a fat and ugly submissive housewife who didn’t have a backbone, who had decided to play with his feelings. Why wouldn’t he hate her? Just as Layla was starting to set herself off into another self-induced breakdown, the buzzer on the door went off, and Mike buzzed whoever was downstairs in. She breathed in and out heavily, trying to prepare herself for what was going to happen. The minute they walked in, the whole apartment went up in cheers and welcomes, all except from her and Phil from their respective places. Eddie was holding beers while Jeff was holding packets of chips, pretzels and snacks. She stayed in her corner, wallowing in her surroundings and feeling completely helpless to the situation.

She raised her eyes and was met with ocean blue ones from across the room. But just as quickly as they met, the pair across the room broke its gaze and focused on the others in the apartment, confirming to Layla that he hated her now. Jeff made his way over and placed a small kiss on her cheek, leaning over her leg and being careful not to bash it. Her broken leg had healed up good, but it was still sore when she put too much pressure on it. Layla stayed where she was, and after another hour or so, everything went back to how it was before they arrived. The only difference was that she felt a little bit more uncomfortable and inadequate, if that was even possible.

*****

“Layls, come on we’re playing poker.” Phil called her over to the table. The guys had set up a game of poker by moving the table in the dining room to fit in between the sofas, and Chris was currently dealing a hand. The Alice guys had all left by now, and so had Kim and Ben. The remaining guys were all huddled around the table, waiting for her to take her place and play. She wasn’t in the mood, and had been avoiding human contact as much as possible the whole night. This wasn’t her idea of fun. But she didn’t want to ruin Mike’s night and she knew they would all be concerned if she moped around anymore. She took her place in between Phil and Jeff, and the game started.

After 30 minutes, even though she had put up a strong game, she had put out, and so had a majority of everyone else. The only people left were Phil, Eddie and Matt.

“I raise you twenty.” Said Matt, looking confident in his actions. She silently laughed at him, since he should know better than to act cocky when you’re playing a game that relies on bluff. After another two minutes, Matt soon realised the error of his mistake and was also out, leaving only Eddie and Phil behind. Layla felt stifled as the tension rose between the two. She could Phil tense beside her whenever Eddie made a move, and the look that Eddie was giving Phil would be enough to make any sane person run away scared. She wasn’t the only one, as all the other guys had quieted down and were staring at the two of them, watching their every move with anticipation. She knew they all wanted Eddie to win, and even though she knew she shouldn’t, she did too.

“I see your fifty and I raise you two hundred.” Said Phil out of nowhere. Layla’s head swing around, completely confused as to why he would think he could get away with betting that much, it wasn’t like they could afford to give away as much money as possible. But she was more concerned about Eddie. 200 dollars was the type of money he wished he could have, and she knew he would never be able to afford it. She looked at him and his eyes met hers. She silently begged him to just give up and not raise his bet, but he simply looked away, and didn’t meet her eyes again. Phil was sending him a cocky grin, like he knew he couldn’t afford it. And that’s when Layla realised why Phil wanted to go to the party. He wanted to humiliate and cheat Eddie out of money. Phil had been playing poker since he could talk, and she saw him beat people out of money countless times, usually by cheating. She knew this wouldn’t be any different. But Eddie’s next actions shocked her and the whole table when he simply nodded and agreed to it. She couldn’t help but curse him out in her head, how stupid did he have to be to take the bet? She knew Phil was a great poker play, and knew Eddie would have to pay him, she felt sick even thinking about it.

“Okay, Phil, you put your cards down first.” Stone said, cutting the tension with his voice. Phil sent Eddie a victorious grin and then spread his cards down on the table in front of him, proud like a fucking peacock. Layla leaned over to look at his cards. Full house. Shit. Shit. Shit

Everyone turned to Eddie, and Layla’s heart broke when she saw the look on his face, and her resentment for her boyfriend grew all the more. Phil’s grin grew.

But her head turned back to Eddie when he stood up from the table and leaned over to Phil’s side. He leaned down, and next to Phil’s pile of cards, placed his down on the table, and then leaned back into his chair.

“I believe you owe me some money.” Eddie said with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. Layla looked at his cards. Royal flush. Holy Shit.

Everyone around the table started to laugh and cheer Eddie and give Phil sympathetic yet snide smiles. Layla couldn’t help but be so fucking happy at what had just happened, but within two seconds, the smile on her face disappeared, as Phil slammed his hand down on the table and caused everyone to go silent.

“You piece of shit, how the fuck did you win that. You’re a fucking cheater, and I’m not paying you fuck all.” Phil screamed across the table. Everyone stood up, and were standing between the two as to diffuse the situation. She knew Phil had cheated, and couldn’t understand how Eddie had still managed to beat him and win his money. That’s two possessions he’s taken from Phil without him realising, Layla thought sarcastically. Chris had managed to calm the situation down, until the shit hit the fan.

“Phil, just sit the fuck down, you’re just jealous of Eddie. We all fucking know it. You wanna be like him, and you’re not, so just deal with it.” Jeff said, trying to take Layla’s boyfriend down a peg or two. But rather than explode like he usually did, Phil started to laugh smugly, looking between both Jeff and Eddie and then turning to the latter.

“Wait, do you honestly think I’m jealous of you?” Phil continued to laugh, and Layla couldn’t help but feel sick. Eddie looked down and turned his body, starting to walk away.

“Why would I be jealous of you Ed?” He continued sarcastically, and Eddie stopped walking, still facing away.

“Why would I be jealous of you? I could be just like you if I wanted. Hey, maybe if my daddy left me and my step-daddy beat me I would have turned out like you. A worthless cunt.” Phil finished, and everyone stood still. Layla was paralysed with shock.

But while everyone stood silent and looked on in horror, Eddie turned his whole body around and with superhuman force, swung his fist and hit Phil in the jaw, the sound piercing through the silence. And within nanoseconds, Eddie’s fist collided again and again into Phil’s face as they both fell to the floor and started to beat the shit out of each other. Layla screamed and tried to pull Eddie off of Phil, not wanting this to become any more violent than it already was. But as she was pulling at them both, Eddie’s elbow collided with her face and extreme pain shot through her nose. Chris and Matt started to help her and soon, both men were being held back, Phil by Stone and Jeff, and Eddie by Matt, Chris and Mike. She reached up and felt liquid falling down her chin, and pulled her hand away, only to examine the red liquid that was pouring from her nose. She looked at her boyfriend and noticed that his face was completely pummelled and that he probably wouldn’t be able to leave the house for a while due to his condition. She couldn’t help but be thankful towards Eddie for doing that. She looked towards him and he was breathing heavily and glaring at Phil, but as his eyes met hers, they softened and extreme guilt flooded his irises as he examined the damage done to her own face.

She felt trapped and she hated what had just happened and what had been happening for a while. It was silent in the apartment, so silent you could hear a pin drop. All of the guys were breathing heavily, with Phil looking like he was going to pass out. Interrupting the silence, Eddie grabbed his jacket that was draped across one of the sofas and stormed out the door, slamming it shut as he did. No one spoke, and tension began to fill the room once again.

“Fucking asshole.” Phil whispered under his breath, and Layla turned her whole body around to face him. This was it. He had crossed the line. No matter how much she let him dominate her, she fucking hated seeing him try to abuse others.

“NO. YOU’RE THE FUCKING ASSHOLE!” She screamed at him, and everyone in the room looked at her in shock, while her boyfriend looked at her with uncontrollable rage. He stepped towards her in a menacing way, but for once, nothing happened, as Chris and Jeff grabbed him and forced him to stay where he was. He was looking at her with a deep wrath, but for once she maintained eye contact and gave him the most hateful glare she could summon, finally standing up to him. Once she did, he started to laugh, and shrugged the guys’ hands off of him.

“What? You wanna be with that bum musician? Go on then Layls. I could have the whole of Seattle if I wanted, but for some reason I always come back to your fat ass. And you always come back to me, because you know no one will ever want you. Especially not someone like him.” He spat out at her with venom, and the rest of the guys were alert for any violence that was sure to erupt. Mike came to stand in between them.

“I’m going to say this as politely as possible, and I really hope you understand Phil.” Mike said and put his hand on Phil’s chest, pushing him back a bit and further away from Layla.

“You are going to leave my house and never come back. You are going to go home without Layla. You are never going to come near her or anyone else again, otherwise I’m sure Eddie wouldn’t mind repeating what just happened. You are going to let her move out and you are going to fuck off out of her life. And most importantly, you are going to be a worthless cunt, unlike Eddie, and you’re going to die alone.” Mike finished, and Layla’s heart swelled with love for him. Phil looked in between her and Mike, and then around the room to the rest of the guys who looked like they wanted to beat the shit out of him even more. Silently, he walked towards the door and opened it, only turning back to flash Layla a look of remorse, before he left completely. She could breathe again.

*****

Well what do ya’ll think about that then. What do you think is going to happen in the next chapter. Will Layla go after Phil or Eddie?

[lindseyluvsdrag]

Knocked Up Ch. 7

In case you missed it: Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Covered by the shade of her massive umbrella, Violet had fallen asleep on her beach towel while Raven tanned and Naomi built sand castles.

Raven’s phone began to ring. “Who the hell is calling me while I’m on vacation?” she groaned. The woman blindly reached for the device and answered. “Hello?”

“Raven, it’s Sutan. But you probably already knew that,” he laughed. “Is Violet with you?”

The woman sat up. “Umm…um,” she grumbled as she fetched for a response. She knew that the man had been upset with her friend so she treaded lightly in attempt to find out what he wanted. “No, she’s not with me. Why?”

“She’s not answering her phone.”

Raven glanced at the snoring woman and pursed her lips. “Maybe she’s back at the villa showering or something. I don’t know, I’m not with her. I’m out getting…ass.” The woman palmed her face, regretting how terrible she was under pressure.

“Oh! I’m so sorry for interrupting! I just have a message for Violet. Tell her that I know about the pregnancy and w-” the man was cut off when Raven frantically hung up. “Oh my God!”

Violet was startled awake. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Sutan knows you’re pregnant.”

The woman sat up. “Shut up! How? Did one of you tell him?”

“Of course not! We’d never,” her friends said collectively​.

“Nobody knows but you guys, my mom and Matthew. My mom has no reason to contact him and Matthew… just no. He has no ties to the fashion world.”

“Do you think he saw your stomach?” Naomi asked.

“No, because I only look pregnant while I’m naked. With clothes on, it just looks like I have gas. Ughh, this is so bad. What else did he say?”

“I don’t know, I hung up on him.”

“Rav!”

“I’m sorry, I freaked out! But all he said was that he knew.”

“This is so fucked up,” Violet groaned as she grabbed her phone​.

—

Matt followed Jake’s every move with the Swifter and a Clorox wipe.

“Dude, name brand water tastes the same as tap water! You should tell her that so she stops wasting money.”

“She buys water bottles and then ‘re-purifies’ theme before she drinks it,” the man said as he swept. “It’s pretty impressive.”

“More like psychotic! What’s happening to you, bro?! The old you would’ve laughed at her and kept it moving, probably even made a comic about it. But now you’re in a pink apron sweeping up non-existent dust.”

“I’m just trying to make sure this place stays spotless. Violet likes things a certain way and I don’t want her to be upset.”

“'Violet this’ and ‘Violet that’, God where are your balls?”

Matt rolled his eyes. “It’s called being respectful. Since you don’t know what that means, that’s why nobody likes you.”

“People like me! Who doesn’t like me?”

“People behind you in traffic, people who have to go into the bathroom after you, and oh, your siblings.”

“Hey, those assholes don’t count. They’re just mad because I inherited the house and they got money that they blew through in a week. They wanted me to sell the house and split the money but fuck no. We wouldn’t have The Lair.”

“Fair enough. Well, Stacey Matthews doesn’t like you.”

“Oh my God, that was high school! And she was just mad because of my premature ejaculation.”

Matt cackled.

“Heyy, big girls suck dick like they’re eating an egg roll. I just couldn’t last that long and came in her eye. She never forgave me.”

“I wouldn’t either!” he laughed breathlessly.

“Oh damn, I guess people really don’t like me.”

“Well, I like you and that’s all that matters.” The friends shared their secret handshake just as Matt’s phone began to ring. “Oh my God, it’s Violet. Stay quiet.”

Jake scoffed so Matt punched the man’s arm as he sprinted out of the room prior to answering. “Hey, Violet,” he greeted, voice full of excitement.

“Matthew.”

Based on her tone, Matt knew that he was in trouble. He gulped. “Yes?”

“Do you know anything about Sutan finding out about my pregnancy? I know you probably don’t, but I have to follow all of my leads.”

“He didn’t know? Was your pregnancy supposed to be a secret?”

“No but after I puked all over fashion week, I didn’t want to be seen as a liability. Why? What did you do?”

“Sutan was being an absolute dick to you so I gave him an anonymous call and-”

“You what?! What did you say?!”

“I essentially told him to fuck off for treating you like shit.”

“But why?! That has nothing to do with you!”

“I was trying to defend you!”

“I didn’t need you to defend me!” she exploded. Matt could just imagine the vein that was probably popping out of her neck at this point. “You aren't​ my man, you aren’t my boyfriend, you’re nothing but someone who lingers around, poking their nose in other people’s business! My job was already on the fucking line and now you’ve ruined it!”

“Violet-”

“I’m fucking speaking, Matthew! Do not interrupt!”

The man pursed his lips.

“Have you even found a job?!”

“I’m trying! Literally nobody has called back.”

“So instead of calling my fucking job, you need to be trying to find one of your own! You’ve had more than enough time to find a fucking job and at this point I’m so fucking sick of you! By the time I get back, I want you out of my house!”

“Violet, come on. I’m trying so hard and you know that. You’re just hormonal right now. I’m sorry for calling Sutan but I really think you’re overreacting.”

“Hormonal?! Overreacting?! This is my job you motherfucking asshole! This is my life! I know you don’t have one but I do! Like- fuck you, Matthew!”

“Vi, call down,” Naomi said in the background.

“No, fuck him! Matthew, get the fuck out of my house! You have twenty-four hours to get out or I’m calling the cops!”

There was a loud crash that rang out from the kitchen.

“What the fuck was thattt?!” the woman screeched.

By the way she was screaming, Matt knew that the woman wouldn’t have a voice the next morning. “Um, nothing. I think a wreck happened down on the street.”

“Whoops!” Jake shouted. “Was that gold rimmed saucer expensive?!”

“What…the…fuck, Matthew. Ar-Ar-Are there people in m-m-my house?”

“Um..”

The woman began to hyperventilate and Naomi quickly grabbed the phone. “Matthew, I’m calling the police,” she said before hanging up.

Matt attempted to call the woman back but was sent straight to voicemail. “Fuck!”

“So is that a yes to the gold rimmed saucer being expensive?!”

The man stormed back into the room. “Dude! Violet heard you and now she’s freaking out!”

“Well, my bad. I was trying to grab a plate and the shit fell. I’m sorry, bro.”

“Well, she’s threatening to call the cops so we have to leave.”

“Pfft, women always threaten to call the cops and they never do. They bluff.”

“Wait… you’ve had the threat of the cops being called on you more than once?”

He scoffed. “Absolutely! 'Jake, give me my panties or I’ll call the cops’,” he mocked in a feminine voice. “'Jake, where is my parakeet? If you don’t give him back, I’ll call the copssss.’ 'Jakeee, get out of my bushes or I’m calling the cops’. Blah, blah, blah.”

Matt stared at his friend through a confused yet judgemental glare. He shook his head. “We need to get out of here.”

“Okay,” Jake said as he began to cram snacks into his pockets.

Five minutes into their hustle to pack, a booming voice sounded from inside of the apartment. “Hello?!”

“Fuck,” Jake whispered. “Let’s go out the window.”

“We’re on the fifth floor!” Matt hissed back.

“Does she not have a fire escape?”

“I think it’s in her bedroom.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuckkk.”

“If there’s anyone here, come out now or you’ll get your fucking head smashed in!”

“Oh my God, what kind of psycho cops are these?!” Jake panicked.

“I don’t know. Let’s just do what he says.” Matt placed​ his suitcase on the floor a raised both of his hands​. “Alright we’re coming out!”

He slowly eased out of bedroom and down the hall until he reached the living room where two men and a woman in street clothes stood with scowls plastered on their faces. With alabaster skin and the same tawny brown eyes, the dark haired man was clearly some kin to Violet. The woman with golden brown waves was less obvious with her blue eyes and tan skin, but her facial features resembled Violet’s. And the second man of Kenyan descent seemed to be there for support.

“Which one of you is Matthew?” the pale man demanded.

Matt gulped before clearing his throat. “That’d be me.”

The man followed the identification with a punch directly to Matt’s face that sent him flying to the floor. Jake instantly jumped to his defense but was blocked and punched in the stomach by the Kenyan man.

“What’d you do to my little sister?!” he shouted.

Matt groaned as it all clicked together. These were the Violet’s siblings. “Oh, you must be Aster,” he said as he wiped the blood from his nose and pushed himself off of the floor. “And you’re Rose and you’re her husband, Chris. Listen, I’ve heard a lot about all of you-”

“We’ve heard a lot about you too, you fucking snake! Violet called me in tears telling me to call the cops because her homeless 'baby daddy’ and his hobo friends were destroying her apartment. She’s literally distraught and boarding her plane as we speak to come home.”

“She didn’t even get to enjoy her vacation for a full twenty-four hours before this happened,” Rose snarled. “And this is not how I wanted to find out about my baby sister’s pregnancy!”

“I definitely didn’t want to meet you guys this way. I deserved that punch in the face but I swear I’m not intentionally trying to hurt your sister. If you guys would just give me a chance-”

“This is your chance to get the fuck out before you get your ass beat!” Aster interjected.

“Alright, just let me get my stuff.”

“No, you need to leave right now,” he said as he opened the door.

“No,” Matt retorted. “I need to get my clothes and the copy of my kid’s ultrasound.” He turned on his heel and Aster yanked him up from behind. “Dude, I’ll leave, just let me get my fucking ultrasound!”

The two of them began to scramble while Jake attempted​ to help his friend, but Chris, who had at least thirty more pounds of muscle than the man, easily made mincemeat out of him.

“Get off of me!” Matt shouted as he continued to struggle with Aster, knocking over a lamp and a glass side table that held a porcelain vase full of fresh flowers and candles in the process.

When the police finally arrived moments later, they​ burst into Violet’s home with their muddy boots and quickly broke up the fight.

“I’m the one who called you,” Aster breathlessly informed. “This bum is trespassing!”

“Who’s house is this?” they asked.

“My sister’s. She’s on vacation right now but she called me and said that she doesn’t want him in her house.”

“Ahh, okay. And for the report, what’s your name?”

“Aster Chachki.”

“And yours?”

“Matthew Lent. Listen, I’m more than willing to leave. I was actually on my way out before he attacked me!”

“Lower your voice, Sir,” the officer hissed.

“Oh my God,” the bloodied, frustrated man groaned.

“Matthew Lent from 605 E Moonside Ave in Los Angeles California?” the other cop asked.

He nodded as he wiped his bloody nose again.

“Okay. Go ahead and turn around and put your hands behind your back for me.”

He frowned. “Why?”

“You have a warrant for your arrest stemming from 2007,” he informed as he practically snatched Matt’s arm, twisting it behind his back.

“Ow! What the hell are you talking about?! What warrant?!”

“Possession and a bench. You never went to court.”

The man’s face fell as he recalled what the man was talking about. “Okay, but wait! I was eighteen and-”

“Save it for the judge,” the officer snapped as he clanked the cuffs onto the man’s wrists.

“Alright, I’ll leave, just please let me get my ultrasound photo.”

“Let’s go,” the man said as he shoved Matt towards the door.

“I won’t be able to come back and get it later! It’s a fucking picture of my kid, please!”

“Go! If you keep resisting, I’ll have to taze you!”

“Matt, chill bro!” Jake pleaded. “I’ll find the picture and hold onto it. I got you.”

The man nodded and was compliant as the officer guided him out of the building and into the back of his squad car.

—

When Violet made it home, the woman had to be carried to her bed and fanned by three people just to keep her from fainting when she saw the state of her apartment. On top of that, she had to deal with the news that Matt was now incarcerated.

“I’m having a baby by a criminalllll,” she wailed. “I-I-I can’t. What have I done with my life?!”

“Now we see why you hid this from us,” Rose said.

“I didn’t hide it, I just wasn’t ready to tell you guys yet.”

“Don’t hound her, Rose,” Aster defended. “No matter who the father is, our baby sister is having a baby herself and we need to support her.”

The woman pouted. “Aww, little Viiiii. Either way, they’ll be a perfect addition to our family.”

Everyone’s cheering made it a lot easier for Violet to breathe. “I’m going to need all of your support. Since my child won’t have a father, he’ll need a big, loving family.”

“We’re here, Vi,” Naomi said as she threw her arms around her best friend. “And even if you don’t want it, we’ll help you get this place cleaned up. And look on the bright side of having broken furniture: you get to go shopping for something new. Even stuff for the nursery!”

“That makes me so happyyyy,” she sniffled.

“Then let’s do it!”

—

Violet and her friends spent the remainder of their vacation time getting the woman’s apartment back to the heavenly state that she was used to. Her living room furniture was replaced and the guest room was cleared out to make room for the baby.

When it was time to return to work on Monday morning, the woman knew that showing up to bow out gracefully wasn’t an option. She wallowed in her bed with a jar of crunchy peanut butter. Using a pickle as a makeshift spoon, she scooped up the chunky spread and sighed as she ate.

“Do you prefer fashion victim or ensembly challenged?” she quoted as she watched Clueless. “So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair- eww!- and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think soooo,” the woman said just as her doorbell rang. She frowned because she didn’t want to get out of bed but then the curiosity​ took over.

Violet reluctantly​ climbed out of bed and pulled on her robe and slippers. When she made it to the door, the woman checked the peephole and gasped when she saw Sutan. “Oh God, oh God,” she exhaled as she smoothed her hair. The woman took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Hi!” Sutan chirped. “You look fabulous! I literally need this robe on and nothing else.”

“Thank you.”

“Can I come in?”

“Umm…sure. But take your shoes off…please.”

“Ooo, functuay shit. I dig it,” Sutan said as he removed his Louboutins.

Violet bagged them and placed them on the floor in front of the closet; she had a feeling that the man wouldn’t be staying long. “Would you like to sit?”

“No, because I’m bursting with anticipation. Why didn’t you come into work today?”

“I thought I was fired,” she said quietly. “I mean, my psycho baby daddy called you and told you to fuck off for goodness sake.”

“Hold up. That was your baby daddy?”

She hesitantly nodded.

“Aww! Anyone who’d call someone and curse them out for me would be a total keeper. But that’s besides the point. First of all 'get the fuck out’ never crossed my lips therefore you weren’t fired. And secondly, why didn’t you tell me that you were pregnant?! I thought you were just becoming​ a sloppy bitch…which you were, but there was a good reason for it!”

“Good?” she let out in disbelief.

“Yes! Do you have any idea how massive the pregnancy market is?! Pregnant women think that just because they have a baby bump they can’t be fashionable and it’s bullshit. Girly Magazine will become the frontrunner in showing what’s hot in maternity wear and you will lead the team.”

Violet could hardly wrap her mind around what the man was saying. “Huh?”

“I’m promoting you! You can have your office back and you can write about whatever you want, but I really want you to track how your fashion views change as you get further along in your pregnancy. We can even do a pregnancy spread to show women that baby bumps are the hottest new accessory.”

“Oh, my God! That’d be amazing, Sutan, thank you so much!”

He put his hands on his hips. “And you didn’t wanna tell me that you were pregnant. Gurl, you’d better thank your baby daddy!”

Violet’s face fell a little.

“Can I feel your belly?”

“Sure.”

The man placed his hand over the woman’s stomach and gasped. “How amazingggg. Do you know the gender?”

“Not yet. I find out in a few days.”

“What if you didn’t? Why not let it be a surprise?”

“Because I hate surprises.”

He laughed. “But that’s the fun in life!”

“But if it’s a boy and I start buying pink-”

“Fuck gender specific baby clothes!” Sutan declared. “Be fashion forward, darling.”

The woman thought about it. “I see what you’re saying.”

“Eee! So you’re letting the gender be a surprise?”

Violet nodded.

“Yaaaas! See, this is why you’re my favorite. Your ass better be at work tomorrow. Save me from those hoes you call friends as they lie to cover for you!”

She laughed.

“So, wait… you’re having a baby by a guy named Seymour Butts?”

“What? No. He- did he seriously pull a Bart Simpson?”

Sutan cackled. “That’s amazing.”

“He’s an idiot and I’m glad he’s out of the picture.”

“An independent, single pregnant woman?! That’s even better for the column! You better werk, bitch.”

The woman smiled. “I look forward to it.”

—

“I’m not looking forward to this,” Matt groaned, but the man was completely compliant as he was frisked and booked into the New York jail. Being a weed carrying delinquent who skipped out on his court dates​ had finally caught up to him. Dressed in the bright orange jumpsuit, the man's​ head hung low as he was lead into his cell. The small space was occupied by a silver toilet/water fountain combo and two thin cots, one of which was occupied by someone also dressed in orange. They were laid out on the cot with their ankles crossed as they flipped through the magazine.

“Hey, Hairston, you got a new roommate,” the guard said.

“I told you to call me Dida,” the man said as he lowered his magazine. “Miss Ritz if ya nasty.”

The guard rolled his eyes and slammed the bar door closed, making Matt jump.

“Oooo weeeeee, you are stunning!” Dida said as he pushed himself off of his cot prior to examining the man from head to toe. “What’s your name, sugar?”

Matt cleared his throat as he took a step back. “Thank you? Um, my name is Matt.”

“Nice to meet you, Matt.” The man extended his hand.

Violet's​ obsession with hand sanitizer had rubbed off on him so clenched his jaw as his returned the gesture. “Likewise.”

“So, whatcha in for?”

“An arrest warrant from ten years ago,” he exhaled as he wiped his hand on the leg of his jumpsuit. “I had two grams of weed on me so I was arrested. Spending the night in jail freaked me out so much, and as an eighteen year old kid, I thought the judge would definitely send me back so I just coincidently went to visit my sick aunt on a date that required me to be in court.”

“Oh damn, that’s badass.”

“Yeah…what’d you do?”

“Stab my sugar daddy when he wouldn’t buy me a Bentley,” the man said casually.

“Ookkayyy,” Matt chirped with wide eyes. He made his way over to his cot and patted the flat, lint stuffed mattress. “Feels worse than the homeless shelter beds.”

“Oh, you get used it…or get used to being pounded into it.”

Matt loudly cleared his throat. “So do we have to stay in these cages all day and night?” he asked, hoping it’d change the subject.

“No. Rec should be any minute now.”

Just as Dida had predicted, moments later, the metal bars to the cells were popped open​ and the inmates were free to socialize and participate in recreational​ activities. Matt quickly began to distance himself from Dida but when he found himself almost cornered by a group of heavily tattooed men, he quickly turned on his heel and bumped into a man who looked like he’d been pumped with so much silicone that when he finally died, he’d be melted down and recycled​.

Oddly enough, Matt recognized the man. “Matthew Sanders?”

“Heyyy, it’s Matthew Lent. It’s a homeless shelter reunion!”

Matt’s laugh was uncomfortable but he was relieved to see a familiar face. “How did you end up in here?”

“I pretended​ to be publicly intoxicated.”

“Why on Earth would you do that?”

The man shrugged. “It’s a guaranteed place to sleep for the next fifteen days.”

“Damn, man.”

“And to get endless trade.”

“Trading of what?”

The man cackled as he patted Matt’s shoulder. “You’ve got a lot to learn. In here, they call me Detox.”

“Does everyone in here have a nickname?”

“Of course! It’s mandatory.”

“Well, I don’t plan on being in here long enough to get one.”

“Pfft, that’s what they all say. Especially the ones who float between here and the shelter.”

Matt groaned. “But I’m not homele-” he pressed his temples to fight his headache. “I just have to get out of here.”

“Hey, Detox!” someone shouted as they approached. “Who’s your friend?”

“Back off bearded snake, he’s mine!”

Matt was taken aback by the claimant. “Whoa, dude. I don’t belong to anyone.”

“Ha!” the third man mocked. “Told you, Detox. People are tired of that build-a-body. Why go for plastic when you can be organic?”

“Fuck you, Wilbert.”

“It’s Willam, bitch!”

“It’s ‘I don’t give a fuck!’ You suck dick for cigarettes, like, how cheap are you?!”

“So?! What do you suck dick for?!”

“Food, bitch! Food!”

“That explains your midsection.”

Matt had slowly been easing away, so when the two began to lunge at each other, he was well out of the guard’s way. “Orange is the New Black did not prepare me for this.” The man managed to avoid any further interactions by pacing the perimeter of the large room and avoiding eye contact with everyone. By the time lunch rolled around, he knew he’d have to start fasting again. “What…the fuck… is this?” Matt asked as he stared down at his tray.

“Beans, potato salad, perhaps?” the older man next to him grumbled as he poked at the white substance with his fork.

“Oh fuck, I swear this shit just growled​ at me.”

The man laughed. “I wouldn’t be surprised​. If the judge doesn’t kill you with his sentencing, the food certainly will.”

“Clearly.”

“But, hey, you gotta do what you gotta do to survive when you have responsibilities outside of these four walls.”

The man seemed to have infinite wisdom. “Exactly. I have a kid on the way. Jail is not where I’m supposed to be.”

“Ahh, the kids. I have three and being away from them like this is killing me.”

“That has to be rough. Mine hasn’t even been born yet and I hate that I’m not there.”

“Or maybe you just like being around the mother,” he chuckled.

“Pfft, she hates me.”

“Oh, come on she can’t hate you. She had to like you enough to make a baby.”

“She was drunk.”

“And you were sober? Well shit, I’d hate you too.”

“Noooo, we were both drunk and had a one night stand.”

“Ahh, okay. Having a kid with someone you barely even know is a true test of character.”

Matt nodded. “I was beyond ready to step up, but she’s just so difficult. She resents me for being the father. I’m just over it.”

“Well, you can be over her, but you can’t ever be over being a father. Our children didn’t ask to be here and now that they are, it’s our responsibility to guide them through this crazy world.”

Matt shivered. “You just gave me chills.”

The man laughed. “Kids! When we’re gone, they carry on our legacy. So if you don’t want to do it for your baby mama, then do it for the baby.”

“Do it for the baby,” he repeated​. “Even if the parents hate each other, do it for the baby.”

“That’s it.”

“Dude, you’re so wise. Like Gandhi or something. What’s your story?” Matt asked as he shook his carton of chocolate milk prior to opening it and taking a sip.

“Well, my name is Ru and I murdered three people.”

Chocolate milk spurted out of Matt’s nose and mouth.

—

When Violet returned to work the next morning, the woman was greeted with a surprise party in her new office. She couldn’t be more grateful that she was allowed the opportunity and even more grateful that her friends were there to support her all the way to the top.

“This isn’t the top,” Violet assured. “I still want Sutan’s job.”

Her friends and colleagues laughed.

“Thank you everyone for all the love and support. Let’s make Girly Magazine number one!” the woman said as she raised her champagne flute that’d been filled with apple juice. She took a sip and her mind was transported to the night that Matt had made her some apple turnovers. The woman instantly began to crave the sweet pastry and when she realized that it probably wasn’t an option, Violet settled on one of the store bought cookies. She took a bite into the dry, crumbly confection and for a second, actually wished that Matt was there.

“You okay?” Naomi asked.

Violet swept all of her unwarranted thoughts under the rug. “Yes! I have a great job, amazingggg friends and a cookie,” she chirped. “Life is perfect.”

—

“Life sucks!” Matt groaned as he tried to get comfortable on the stiff cot. The man was hungry and smelly after skipping dinner and a shower that was bound to be invaded by peeping Toms.

“Fuck,” Dida quietly moaned across from him as he enjoyed the company of whoever he’d invited into his bed that night.

Matt turned on his side to face the beige painted brick wall, humming the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song to block his mind of whatever was happening next to him.

“Oh my God. Yeahhh. Go deeper.”

The man placed the thin pillow over his head and prayed for death. No, he told himself. Remember what crazy Ru said, you have responsibilities outside of these four walls. “And nothing will stop me from getting out of here and taking care of my kid.”

“What’d you say, Sugar?” Dida panted. “There’s always room for one more.”

Matt squished the pillow against his head even tighter and returned to praying for death.

—

The next three days played out the same as the first. No food, no shower and psychotic personalities that Matt did everything he could to avoid.

When he finally had his hearing with the judge, the woman quickly read over the man’s case and pounded her gavel. “Matthew Lent, why didn’t you go to court when you were supposed to? Had you done so, you probably wouldn’t be standing in front of me ten years later.”

“Your Honor… I have no explanation or excuses for choices that I made when I was eighteen years old. I’ve done nothing but try to change my life around since then, so it stings extra hard that I still ended up in here. I have a baby on the way and I’d never want him to think that going to jail is acceptable. I just want to be a good father and that starts with getting my life together and actually being there for my child’s birth. So, your Honor, if you just take it easy on me I’ll do everything I can to successfully make it through my sentence so that I can get home to my boy before he’s born.”

“Case dismissed,” the judge announced as she pounded her gavel once more.

“Re-Really?” Matt asked in disbelief. “My story touched your heart?”

“Pfft, no. The prisons are overcrowded and I don't​ need a petty criminal in there for something he did before his balls even dropped.”

“Well, hey now-”

“Next!”

—

Matt practically sprinted out of the jail and into the back of the taxi that Jake had pulled up in.

“Dudeee, how was it?!”

“Anal. So…much…anal.”

The man raised an eyebrow.

“Not with me! Around me. Ugh, I’m hungry and tired and-”

“Musty as fuck.”

“That too.”

“It’s okay. I missed you, bro!” Jake threw his arms around his friend. “I tried to see how much your bail would be but you never received one because you were a flight risk! How badass is that?!”

“I don’t want to be a badass. I want to be a good dad. Do you have my ultrasound picture?”

“Of course I do.” Jake fished around his pocket and pulled out a condom wrapper. “That’s not it,” he said as he flicked it out of the window before fishing again, this time pulling out a half eaten glazed donut. “Heyyyy, I was wondering where I put that.” The man took a bite and checked his other pocket. “Ahh.” Jake pulled the ultrasound photo from his pocket and handed it to his friend.

“…Thanks,” Matt said as he dusted the crumbs from the surface of the photo. “I feel like I need to get this picture tested for chlamydia now.”

“Ha-ha,” his friend let out with a mouth full of chewed dough.

Matt cringed.

“Where to?” the driver asked.

“Violet’s house.”

The man shot him a look.

“Um, I mean, on the other side of 15th Avenue. The snobby part of New York.”

—

After knocking on Violet’s door for the third time, Matt called the woman but was sent straight to voicemail.

—

“So I’m guessing he’s out of jail,” Naomi commented.

“I don’t care,” Violet said as she shoved a forkful of pasta salad into her mouth.

—

Please leave your message after the beep.

“Hey, Violet… it’s me…Matthew. I’m sure you’ve heard that I went to jail, but I’m out now. It was all just a crazy misunderstanding. I’m sorry about the state that I left your apartment in, I know you didn’t appreciate that so I’m really, really sorry. Can you return my call as soon as you can, please?”

—

Violet listened to the message.

“The state that you left my apartment in?! You fucking destroyed it! Um, no, I’m not going to call you back.”

—

Matt waited for several minutes and when he didn’t receive a call from Violet, he started to send her a text.

“Dude, she’s not going to respond,” Jake told him.

“Well, what am I supposed to do? Go back to the shelter?”

“No, come home.”

Matt shot him a look.

“The baby isn’t due for months. Go home, get a job and save up money to return.”

The man took a deep breath. “I think that’s a good idea. But I can’t even afford to get home at this point.”

“I’ll sell my plane ticket and buy us bus tickets.”

“Thanks, Jake…but I can’t. I just have to talk to Violet first.”

“Dude, she-”

“She’s calling!” Matt answered so quickly that he nearly broke his finger. “Hello?”

—

Naomi laughed. “You’re so terrible, Vi!”

“Howwww? It’s true! And I don’t care how Matthew feels. I want nothing to do with him,” the woman said, unaware that her phone had redialed the man and he was listening to her every word.

“I just couldn’t believe that he fought your brother,” Raven added. “Like, if you want to impress a woman, fighting her family isn’t the way to go.”

“Pfff! The only thing that he could do at this point to impress me is drop dead.”

The women cackled.

—

Matt slammed his flip phone closed.

“What happened?” Jake asked. “What'd she say?”

The man shrugged and turned away from his friend so that he couldn’t see him tear up. “I…just try…so fucking hard,” he got out, trying to keep his voice steady, “and it’s not good enough.”

Jake patted Matt’s shoulder. “Bro… it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay! He’s my fucking kid too!” When tears spilled over onto his cheeks, he swiftly wiped them away.

The man had no idea how to console his friend, so he asked. “What can I do to help?”

Matt shrugged.

“Let’s just go home, okay?”

The man took a deep breath and nodded. When he finally turned around, Jake smiled. “You’re so ugly when you cry.”

“Fuck off,” he sniffled, wiping his eyes once more to ensure that all of the tears were eradicated before they made their way out of the building.

[sadbiittchh]

𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕤𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝕗𝕖𝕓𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕪 𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨

✦ 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥’𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕗𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕧𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕖’𝕤 𝕕𝕒𝕪 𝕞𝕖𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕪?  

i think my favorite memories are actually elementary school valentine’s parties, everyone had so much fun making valentine’s cards and we’d just hang out and eat snacks and it was great, we should go back to that. 

✦ 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕕𝕚𝕕 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕧𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕖’𝕤 𝕕𝕒𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦’𝕝𝕝 𝕟𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕕𝕠 𝕒𝕘𝕒𝕚𝕟?    

i hate going out to eat on valentine’s day. everyone else is trying to do the exact same thing, and there’s nothing more romantic than being squished between two other couples in a restaurant that’s so loud you can’t hear your date.

✦ 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕒 𝕠𝕗 𝕒 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕗𝕖𝕔𝕥 𝕧𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕖’𝕤 𝕕𝕒𝕪?   

i think it’s really just going to depend on who you’re celebrating with, if you’re celebrating with a significant other then i think it should kind of be representative of who you are as a couple, but i don’t think you need to be in a relationship to have a good valentines day either. if you just wanna celebrate platonic love with your friends then you can still have a perfect valentines day doing that. 

✦ 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕗𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕧𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕖’𝕤 𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟?   

valentine’s cards. i still buy a pack of scooby doo valentines every year to give to friends and family and stuff because i love how dumb they are, the way to my heart is through scooby doo and a good pun. 

✦ 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕗𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕧𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕖’𝕤 𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕪?    

i’m gonna have to go with the classic candy hearts. i really can’t even think of other candy that they sell for valentines day other than maybe expensive chocolate? i did do fun dip valentines one year i guess those were pretty great. 

✦ 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥’𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕗𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕣𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖 𝕞𝕠𝕧𝕚𝕖? 

i love romantic movies but there’s a few i rewatch all the time. 10 things i hate about you, baz luhrmann’s romeo + juliet, princess bride, dirty dancing and the holiday.  

✦ 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥’𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕟𝕦𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕤 𝕒 𝕣𝕖𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕡 𝕝𝕒𝕤𝕥?   

i think it’s really important that you’re able to grow together, because they might be the perfect person for you in one stage of your life but maybe not in another and vice versa. also the thing i’m the worst at which is communication. if you can’t communicate then the relationship is 100% not going to last.

✦ 𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕝 𝕦𝕤 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕤𝕥 𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕦𝕡? 

my worst breakup was actually my best. i met him when i was seventeen and he was my first really serious relationship, the kind where you experience a lot of firsts. he was the first person i had ever lived with and we had moved in together when i was working at jack in the box so i really didn’t have a lot of financial independence, all my money at that point was going to rent and stuff so i think i was a little too dependent on him and he took advantage of that. it wasn’t a good relationship at all but it took me a long time to see that. he made me feel crazy and like i was nothing without him, and i had to take a step back and look at it from a perspective that wasn’t my own to see how bad it really was. i wrote a song that pulled me out of it and i kicked that fucker out of my house the next day and it was the best thing i’ve ever done for myself. 

✦ 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕘𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕞𝕠𝕤𝕥 𝕣𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕔 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕕𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦?   

anything that you know really came from a genuine place. it doesn’t have to be like a big romantic gesture it could just be that they got you coffee because they were thinking of you, or they saw a meme that made them think of you, i guess i just like to be thought of. there’s nothing more romantic than occupying a permanent place in someone else’s mind i think it shows they’re really invested in you and that’s something that’s really important to me. 

✦ 𝕕𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕒𝕟𝕪 𝕣𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕔 𝕡𝕒𝕤𝕥 𝕞𝕖𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕨𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕠 𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦’𝕕 𝕣𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕞 𝕚𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕? 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪?    

it’s actually a really recent memory but i still think about it all the time. matt and i hadn’t been seeing each other for very long but he had gotten me hooked on him right before he left for tour, you know that feeling when you just start seeing someone and you just want to like, be around them all the time? but we were both supposed to be in new york at the same time and i don’t think we had even been apart that long but i missed him a lot. i got to new york before he did, so when he rolled up at like three o’clock in the morning and got into bed we were both sleepy and soft and we both fell asleep right away but it was so nice. 

✦ 𝕤𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦’𝕣𝕖 𝕕𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕥 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕞𝕡𝕚𝕠𝕟, 𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕓𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕟𝕠𝕨?  

we never officially decided we were together he just started calling me his girlfriend one day so i never know exactly how to answer this question, but our first date was in october so i’m gonna say four months. 

✦ 𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕕𝕚𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕞𝕖𝕖𝕥?    

i slid into his dms with this really lame line about the board game “don’t break the ice” and he said we needed to play it and 9 months later we still haven’t played it. 

✦ 𝕕𝕚𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕒𝕨𝕒𝕪 𝕠𝕣 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕚𝕥 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕒 𝕤𝕝𝕠𝕨 𝕓𝕦𝕣𝕟 𝕥𝕪𝕡𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘?  

we were friends for a really long time before we started dating but i definitely flirted with him on and off for six months and he didn’t pick up on any of it. 

✦ 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕕𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕚𝕟𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕠 𝕙𝕚𝕞?   

i really don’t remember what pushed me to start talking to him but i know what made me want to keep talking to him. i told him to buy my favorite game, skyrim, not thinking he’d do it and he did and then we would talk about it and trade memes and i’d go over to watch him play and make fun of him always losing his horse and that was kind of the foundation of our friendship.

✦ 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕗𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕤, 𝕗𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕪, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕤 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕗𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕 𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣?    

my family hasn’t met him yet but for christmas every year my mom gets everyone matching christmas pyjamas to wear on christmas eve and she sent him a pair and we took a picture in our matching pyjamas and she loved it so i think that’s her seal of approval. 

✦ 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕚𝕣𝕤𝕥 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕨 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕙𝕚𝕞? 

i still don’t know when the exact moment was because i didn’t let myself actually feel it for a while, i really didn’t know why he would want to be with me when he could literally be with anyone in the world and it all kind of hit me at the same time when he told me he loved me the first time. i do remember the moment i knew i like liked him though. he sent me this selfie and he was wearing this track jacket and sweat pants and a bright red beret and he had this huge zit on his nose that he named otto and i remember there were a lot of thirst traps that day and they did nothing for me but when he sent me that picture it was like that scene in the grinch where he’s like “help me… i’m feeling”. 

✦ 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕞𝕠𝕤𝕥 𝕞𝕖𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖 𝕞𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦’𝕧𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣?   

there were two days last month where we just looked at dogs all day, walking around little tokyo holding his hand all day, that time we were in vegas and i wasn’t 21 and couldn’t do anything so he let me drag him to an arcade. there are a lot more but i think i wanna keep those ones for me.  

✦ 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕕𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦’𝕧𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕘𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙 𝕥𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕗𝕒𝕣?   

the first time i had an episode with him around was rough, i didn’t really communicate things very well and nothing was his fault, there were a lot of things outside our relationship that triggered it and i was terrible and somehow he still loves me after all that. the lesson learned there was that i should have trusted him enough to talk about it and i shouldn’t have been ashamed of my mental health. also the first time he told me he loved me i cried and now he’s always worried i’m gonna cry. 

✦ 𝕕𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕒𝕟𝕪 𝕓𝕚𝕘 𝕧𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕖’𝕤 𝕕𝕒𝕪 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕤?   

matt’s birthday is on valentine’s day and we’re gonna be on a boat so we’re celebrating a little early, his favorite place is tokyo so i took him to little tokyo and tried to recreate all his favorite tokyo experiences. i’m still looking into how to get a birthday cake onto a cruise ship though for the actual day so i can embarrass him with singing. 

✦ 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕨𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕤 𝕕𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕤𝕖𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕡? 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕘𝕥𝕙𝕤 𝕕𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕤𝕖𝕖?   

i know a big weakness is my inability to communicate but i’m working on getting better at it and not being so self conscious about sharing my feelings. i think what makes us work best is that he really is just my best friend and we can just nap or lay on the floor playing video games and we’re cool. he’s also way more willing to eat my cooking than he should be and i think that’s definitely a strength. 

✦ 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕕𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕗𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕞𝕠𝕤𝕥 𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕙𝕚𝕞?    

literally everything. i’m always gassing him up, but obviously i think he’s really cute. he has these freckles that actually make me melt and his smile can literally turn my day around, like it could melt the cold it’s so bright and it might be my favorite thing in the world. his presence is also really calming, like he’s the kind of person who can just make you feel comfortable without even trying but he’s also really fun and weird and creative. he also has this confidence that i really admire, and you can tell he genuinely cares about people. he’s just a really good person and it’s so attractive i don’t know what to do with myself sometimes. 

✦ 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕘𝕠𝕒𝕝𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕡 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖𝕟’𝕥 𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕖𝕕 𝕪𝕖𝕥? 

i’m always telling him to stop being so mean to my favorite person, which is him, because he can be really hard on himself and i think my number one goal is to help him see how amazing he is and that he actually believes it. 

✦ 𝕕𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕓𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕧𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕤𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕤? 𝕕𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪’𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕤𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕖?    

i don’t know if i believe in soulmates in the traditional way people think of them, that there’s one person out there that’s perfect for you and only you. i don’t think everyone has just one soulmate, and i don’t think soulmates really have to be romantic. this might get a little spiritual but i do think there are souls that are kind of drawn to each other and are meant to find each other and i do think my soul was meant to find his, it actually happened at a time when i didn’t know it yet, but i really needed it. 

✦ 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕒𝕝 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟?  

absolutely, he is my person and i know i need him in my life. i’ve told him before that if he ever didn’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore that i still wanna be his friend, because he’s my best friend and i don’t know what i’d do without him in my life.