#i sadly can’t re-hang him up since my cats stepped on him and crushed him but. Soon

[mossy-paws]

reminds me of the crucified shuriken I had in my school locker last year

hi alive again on this app/site whatever simply because im trying to escape the horrors of other places *coughs loudly* twitter *cough* but im gonna reintroduce myself with this craft i made today

its crucified subspace

[buckys-other-punk]

Say (All I Need) Jealous Part 6.1

Bucky x Reader, (slight) Steve x Reader

Warnings: angst (if you call it that), jealousy, cuss words, mentions of smut (not really but ehh) and idk what else

Word Count: 3806 (w/o lyrics)

Song inspiration: “Say (All I Need)” One Republic (wow finally not a NJ song) I also re-ordered the lyrics to make it flow better with the story.

A/N: Finally Part 6! I liked @lostinthoughtsandfeelings’ comment where she suggested to show a bit more backstory of how the reader chose Bucky over Steve and why (kinda..not really sorry). So part 6 is gonna have 2 parts as you can tell from the title. This part is the Reader’s POV and the second is going to be Steve’s. Don’t mind any of my mistakes this took a while to write and I really don’t wanna look over this lol. If you wanna be tagged let me know and feedback is very much appreciated! Hope its good and you guys like it!

Tags: @caplansteverogers @hollycornish @carabarnes13@ohmyjack @sebtheromanianprince @flirtswithdanger @aquabrie @amour-quinn @incoherent-smiles-deactivated @rocketqueeens @anbrax5553 @lloeppky @shayla-markele @pdy93 @chrys-1029 @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @dani-si @httpmcrvel @101killer @sarahp879

tags with this means they didn’t work sorry :(

=============================================== *Flashback to 5 years ago*

Do you know where your heart is?

Do you think you can find it?

Or did you trade it for something

Somewhere better just to have it?

You and Bucky have been dating for about 3 months now. Nothing that serious you thought, since your relationship with Bucky was still fresh…well besides the 24 hour sex. You’ve been working on a mission with Nat and Clint for about a month and just arrived back to the tower. Bucky was with Bruce to make improvements for his arm.

“Hey F.R.I.D.A.Y., Do you know where Bucky is?” you asked aloud.

“Yes Ms. (Y/L/N), Bucky is in the lab with Dr. Banner. Would you like me yo summon him for you?” F.R.I.D.A.Y asked.

“No it’s fine F.R.I.D.A.Y. I’ll just go there.” you replied. As you walked near the lab you heard voices talking. Entering the lab Bucky was on an exam table and Bruce looking over his metal arm. They were video chatting with Tony about whatever. Tony was the first to notice you entrance.

“Agent (Y/L/N).” Tony said calmly looking your way. The other two both turned in your direction.

Do you know what your fate is?

And are you trying to shake it?

You’re doing your best dance,

Your best look

You’re praying that you make it

“(Y/N), I have to talk to you.” Bucky said sternly. You were taken back by his tone and your small smile went away. You nodded as he directed you to the living room area.

“What’s wrong Bucky? You’re scaring me.” you said quietly.

“I have to go on a mission (Y/N).” he said sadly.

“Ok, how long are you going to be gone for?” you asked.

“That’s the thing, (Y/N). Umm…I’m going to be gone for 9 months.” he paused. “Tony said he wanted me and Banner to go with him to England to get some leads on HYDRA.”

“Well, why can’t I go with you guys?” you asked.

“I’m sorry (Y/N). Tony said he just wanted us three to go.” he sighed. “(Y/N), I don’t know if I could do a long distance relationship. I know we’ve been dating for 3 months and it has been great, but…” Bucky hesitated, “I think we just need a break.” he avoided eye contact through his whole plea. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). I gotta get packing.” he sighed as he rushed out of the lab.

Well, bless my soul

You’re a lonely soul

‘Cause you won’t let go

Of anything you hold

Bucky began to pack up for the mission. He felt guilty for putting an end to your guys’ relationship. When he finished packing up his stuff and exited his room. As he began to walk away from his room he passed your door. He set down his suitcase and stood at the closed door. He looked a the door and raised his hand about to knock. He paused and though “Maybe she’s mad at me…I shouldn’t say anything to hurt her even more.” He stepped away from your door and began to walk towards the elevators.

Meanwhile, you sat in your room thinking as tears began to fall down your face. “Why the hell are you feeling sad (Y/N). It was bound to happen. You are a strong independent woman, fuck him for ending your relationship.” you said to yourself as you took a deep breath and wiped away the tears. You exited your room seeing the elevator doors close.

Well, all I need

Is the air I breathe

And a place to rest my head

About 2 months Bucky left you were trying to forget about the whole breakup situation and trained to keep your mind out of the gutter. You were throwing punches at a punching bag while Sam held the back of it to keep it from moving around.

“So, (Y/N) I heard you are single again.” he said with a devilish smirk. You happily scoffed at his remark and nodded yes. “I was wondering if you wanna go out sometime?” he asked.

“I’m very flattered Sam, but I’m just trying to recover and find myself.” you said kindly. He nodded understanding and his shoulder slumped a bit. “But hey, we could go and get a drink sometime. Maybe find you a girl.” you said winking at Sam.

He laughed. “Yeah, I like that. Hey who knows you could probably be a better wingman than Steve and Bucky combined. I mean your a woman and you know how other women think.” he said happily. You both finished your training and began to exit the gym. As you left you waved Sam goodbye as you headed to the kitchen to get a snack. When you walked into the kitchen Steve was there making breakfast. It looked like he just came back from a jog.

“Hey soldier. What you making there?” you asked Steve. He turned around smiling at you showing you his breakfast.

“Hey (Y/N), oh, I uh got some fruit from the farmers market that’s near here and decided they would go good with some yogurt. I still got some leftover fruits. You want me to make you some?” he asked you politely.

You shook your head no and said “Nah, its fine I’ll just take some of yours.” You smiled as you got a spoon and dipped it into his yogurt bowl. He looked at you in shock like you kicked a innocent dog or cat. You were always super friendly with Steve. You also sorta kinda had a small crush on him when you first started working with the Avengers, but your crush on him dialed down when you began to date Bucky. Now that Bucky ended his relationship a few months ago you’ve began to notice how kind Steve was to you. As you ate your spoonful of yogurt and fruit Steve copied you and began to eat.

“So, (Y/N), how was training with Sam?” he asked you.

You chuckled and said “He’s ok, but I think I’m gonna ask Nat to spar with me again. I feel bad for kicking Sam’s ass for the past couple of days.”

“Well, I’m kinda glad I get my jogging buddy back.” he laughed. You chuckled at his comment and put your spoon in the sink. “You know I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime. I feel like I never see you during the day, you’re always so busy.” he said as you walked to the fridge to get a bottle of water.

“Yeah, I’d like that Steve.” you said smiling.

Well, bless my soul

You’re a lonely soul

'Cause you won’t let go

Of anything you hold

*Later that evening*

You walked up to Steve’s room and knocked on his door. He opened his door slightly and realizing that it was you he open his door wide. “(Y/N)? What are you doing here?” he asked you and looking at what you were wearing. “What are you wearing? I-I mean it’s beautiful and you look gorgeous and-” you cut Steve off by holding you hand up.

“Steve, you said you wanted to go out…So why not now? We could go get some food from that one fancy restaurant that Tony always bugs us all about. I also swiped Tony’s mastercard from him before he left.” you said with a smile. Steve chuckled at your comment and motioned for you to enter his room.

“I’ll get dressed. You can wait in here.” he said. You looked around his room and everything was tidy and clean. Walking to his desk and seeing a small notepad with a list of things. As you read over the list you smiled taking note that one day you would binge watch Star Wars with Steve. Steve came out of his bathroom with his matching navy blue suit. You stared at Steve for what felt like the longest time. “Is this ok?” he asked you shyly.

“Oh my god! Steve you look awesome!” you said happily. “Let’s go and spend Tony’s money” you laughed.

“Alright let’s go.” Steve said happily.

*Later at the restaurant*

After you and Steve were close to finishing your food you suggested something. “So Steve, why don’t we go the the club around the corner. You know find yourself a girl. We could bring Sam with us too, apparently I’m his wingwoman.” you chuckled as you “paid” for the food.

Steve nodded and pulled out his phone. “I guess I should call Sam then.” he laughed.

The waiter returned with Tony’s card and asked “I’ve noticed that Mr. Stark isn’t here. May I ask why or how you have his card or should I call over my manager?” You shook your head no.

“Oh, no I’m sorry. I’m Tony’s daughter (Y/N) and he gave me his card for the weekend. So I decided to go out to dinner with my boyfriend.” you lied sounding fake concerned. “Please don’t call your manager over, my dad would kill me if he knew I’m dating someone who he doesn’t know. My dad is very strict.” you added to the lie. The waiter nodded.

“I’m sorry miss. I didn’t know Mr. Stark had a daughter. Let me get you our speciality chocolate cake of course on the house.” he apologized scurrying to the kitchen. You looked over at Steve smiling.

“Well, Ms. Stark I’m glad to be your unknown boyfriend.” he chuckled.

“Hey, at least we got free dessert!” you said giddy. The waiter came back with the cake and two forks. You and Steve shared the cake and once you finished you both exited the restaurant with you arms linked. “Oh is Sam going to be joining us?” you asked Steve and he nodded yes. As the two of you arrived at the club Sam was already in the line waiting for you guys. He waved over at you and Steve. “Hey Sam, I guess your wingwoman came to the rescue afterall.” you laughed and so did he.

“Yeah, I’m actually happy that you are gonna help me out. Seeing that you are busy with someone else.” he whispered at you so Steve wouldn’t hear. You shoved him away. “Hey, you know it’s true. The only thing is I wish this fucking line would move.” he yelled over the crowd. You and Steve laughed at him. You looked at the bounce of the club recognizing the face.

“Follow me guys.” you said leading the two gentlemen to the front of the line. “Henry? Is that you? Oh my god it is!!” you smiled and so did the bouncer.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N) as I like and breathe! Long time no see girl!” he replied in a friendly tone. Henry was a super buff guy (like most bouncers of the bouncers that worked there), but he was a very nice person when you get to know him. “Who do you got here? Getting into trouble again I suppose?” he added and you blushed.

“Oh no, these two are my friends. I’m their wingwoman for the night.” you said. “Do you think you could let an old friend in?” you asked.

“Uhhh,” he paused looking at you, but you gave him your best puppy dog eyes and he sighed, “yeah you can go in. Just don’t tell my boss.” he winked at you pulling moving aside to let you guys in. You smiled and kissed his cheek and you lead both Steve and Sam into the club and up to the bar.

“What just happened?” Sam asked and Steve nodded in agreement. You waved the bartender over ordering a whiskey.

“Oh you mean Henry?” you asked the pair and the nodded. “Well we use to work together.” you said calmly.

“Umm, where?” Sam asked.

“Here.” you said and the two had a questioned look. “I was the person who would kick people out if they became to rowdy and if they would decline or ever so much as touch me I would beat their ass (a/n: basically like Ronda Rousey in Expendables 3).” you said confidently smirking as the bartender gave you your drink and you downed it. You ordered another and they two men looked at you.

“Huh, that kinda explains your aggressiveness.” Steve said quietly, but you heard him and shoved him.

“HEY! I am not aggressive!” you yelled and the two laughed at your assertiveness. “Whatever! Sam did you find some poor girl that has to listen to you talk about how great you are?” you asked for friend.

“Ouch, but yeah that girl over there with the black dress.” he pointed at a table near the bodies of dancing people. You nodded taking note and downing your second drink, you stood up from your chair and began to walk near the girl. Sam and Steve saw you talking to the girl. “She better do me right.” Sam said to Steve and he chuckled. As you were talking to the girl the guys both ordered drinks from the bartender. You began to walk back you winked at Sam. Then the girl looked over and began to walk towards Sam. “Hello there.” Sam said confidently and she giggled. She took his hand and brought him to the other dancing bodies.

“What did you say to her?” Steve asked as he sipped his drink.

“Oh I just said he was an Avenger and saves the world.” you replied smiling ordering yet another drink. The rest of the night was a blur, but you knew that you went home with someone.

*Early in the Morning*

You woke up with an excruciating headache. You groaned you felt something heavy around your small frame. As you turned you saw the person who was next to you. Steve Fucking Rogers. You were mentally screaming. Slowly moving his hand off your stomach you got of his bed and tried to find you clothes. They were scattered everywhere. “Damn, I guess we had a good time.” you said in your mind. Even though you didn’t really remember the sex all, you remembered was how much you liked it and being with Steve. Right when you got your dress off of the ground Steve noticed the absence of your presence in the bed.

“Rushing to get out of here?” Steve asked quietly and ashamed. You looked up at him and sighed.

“I’m sorry I’m rushing, but I just got out of a relationship and it’s your best friend for fucks sake. I just need some time to think. I’m sorry Steve.” you said sadly as you walked up to him and kissed his cheek. You quickly got your belongings and rushed out of his room running into your room. You dropped everything as you closed your door and with your back against the door you slid down into a sitting position. “What the fuck did I just do.” you said to yourself.

Do you know where your love is?

Do you think that you lost it?

You felt it so strong, but

Nothing’s turned out how you wanted

*Later that Afternoon*

“Maria, I need  to clear my head. Can you please help me?” you sighed. She nodded at you a concerning look.

“What’s wrong (Y/N)?” she asked. “And what are you wearing!?!” she added pointing at your sweater. You looked down at your sweater.

“What? This? My nephew made this for me so back up.” you defended the ugly-ish sweater. “But I need your help.” You loved Maria she was your mentor when you first became an avenger and then the two of you became close friends.

“What is it?” she demanded and you sighed.

“I slept with Steve.” you said cowering a bit.

“Wait what? Nat owes me $20?” she snickered and you slapped her hand.

“Maria! Ugh, help me!!” you exclaimed and she laughed.

“Fine. How did this happen?” she asked you.

“We got drunk at a club and you know one thing led to another.” you replied.

“Damn, I wish that would happen to me.” she said silently so you wouldn’t hear, but you did. “Well what are your feelings towards Steve?” she asked another question.

“Steve is a sweetheart and is always nice to me.” you replied.

Maria nodded, “Ok, how do you feel about Bucky or should I say did you feel?” she asked you.

“When we were together he was great as well, but there was something different about him. Like good different. Even though he broke up with me which was stupid and I don’t understand why he did that still.” you said.

“Well then, who do you have more feelings for?” Maria asked you.

“I don’t know. They are both great guys, but I can’t choose.” you said sighing putting your head on the table with defeat.

“Well, I believe that you will make the right choice.” Maria said patting you shoulder. “Now let’s order you some food because I know that will cheer your up.” she added and you laughed agreeing.

Do you think you can find it?

Do you think you can find it?

Do you think you can find it?

Better than you had it

You’ve been avoid Steve for days. You felt bad, but you were trying to escape the awkwardness. You’ve locked yourself in your room just thinking about what you should do. You sighed loudly and exited your room and walked to Steve’s room. You paused for a moment and right when you were about to knock on the door it opened quickly.

“Oh, (Y/N). Hi.” Steve said avoiding eye contact.

“Hey Steve.” you said. “We need to talk.” you continued walking past him and sitting on his make bed. He closed the door behind him and followed in your footsteps.

“You’re gonna talk about that night, right?” he asked you. As you looked at him you were about to cry, but you tried to keep it together.

“Yeah, I don’t think we should tell Bucky. I mean he’s your best friend for fucks sake, Steve.” you said keeping your calm and he nodded as he walked closer to you.

“Please tell you felt something when we were together for that short amount of time. Please (Y/N).” he said looking at you.

“I’m really sorry Steve, but I didn’t feel anything.” you lied. Of course you felt something. Steve was so sweet to you the entire night, but you felt like you cheated with Bucky (a/n: even tho he broke up witchu…i’m sorry for interrupting but like asdfghjkl).

“(Y/N), look into my eyes and say you didn’t feel anything.” he said grabbing you face forcing you to look at him.

“I didn’t feel anything.” you said sternly looking into the stupid, beautiful eyes. Steve has tears forming in his eyes and tried to hold yours back. You took his hands off of your face and slowly exited his room. “Just know Steve if something happened that night you met me things would be different.” you said as he exited his room closing the door. You had tears running down your face and walked to Maria’s room. She saw your state and hugged you as you sobbed into her shoulder.

(say) all I need

Is the air I breathe

And a place to rest my head  

*4 Months later*

Ever since your talk with Steve both of you were avoiding one another and everyone noticed, but didn’t say a word. It was hard to try and avoid one another, but whenever you did bump into one another you would have small talk. Both of you were slowly beginning to talk to one another, trying not to make it awkward.

Both you and Steve were talking in the kitchen as you both were eating lunch. Out of nowhere you both heard the elevator ding. You both looked to the doors opening an you saw the one and only James ‘Bucky’ Barnes. He exited the elevator, looked at the two of you and walked straight to his room. Both you and Steve looked at each other questionably. You got up walking to Bucky’s room and Steve was behind you. His door was closed. You knocked on it hoping he would open the door and luckily he did.

“Can we come in?” you asked and Steve behind you. He looked at the two of you and closed the door. Right when you were going to knock on the door again Steve stopped you.

“Let’s let him rest. He’s probably tired.” Steve said quietly and you nodded walking away.

*5 weeks later*

Bucky had been avoiding both you and Steve for the past weeks. You were on the couch binging some New Girl when Bucky came into the living room. He sat on the other side of the couch and began to watch with you. You looked over at him and he with you.

“We need to talk (Y/N).” he said. ‘That was never a good sign.’ you said to yourself. Your turned off the TV and showed Bucky your full attention. “I thought about what happened between us when I left for my mission.” he started and looked at your blank face nodding for him to continue. “I wanna tell you that I met someone in England and one thing led to another and we slept together.” he added.

“Why are you telling my this Bucky? You’re the one who broke up with me.” you said in reply.

“I know, but I wanted to tell you because a part of me felt like I cheated on you and it felt like I was being weighed down by all this guilt.” he paused. “And I kinda sorta said your name during sex with that girl.” he said looking down and you just laughed.

“Oh my god! That poor girl.” you said laughing. Bucky laughed at your comment as well.

“Yes well that didn’t last for long, but that wasn’t what I was thinking about for the past months.” he said and you nodded for him to continue. “I want to get back together with you. I know, I know before you stop me, I was wrong. I was stupid to break things up between us. We were great together and I regret everything. I missed you, I missed being with you, making you laugh and smile. I feel like I lost a part of me when I left you. I’m sorry (Y/N). Just know that I still love you and I’m sorry for what I did.” he finished sighing and about to get up from his seat. You stopped him and grabbed his face with you hands and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. Looking at his shocked blue-ish grey eyes, you smiled.

“I forgive you, Bucky.But I have to think before I give you my answer.” you said quietly and he nodded as he got up from his seat and exiting the living room.

“What the fuck am I going to do now?” you said to yourself with some tears in your eyes.

Do you know where the end is?

Do you think you can see it?

Well, until you get there

Go on, go ahead and scream it

Just say…

End of part 6!! I AM SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER!!I hoped you guys liked it and it wasn’t a let down. Also part 6.2 will be very interesting. Like always let me know what you want to see next, any suggestions and if you wanna be tagged in anything!