#i s2g i had a writing tag idk what it was tho lmao

[elftwink]

a ship of your choice and 5

5. things you didn’t say at all ( send me a prompt ! )

listen. i know the post says fic. and this is my ocs. hopefully there is enough context for this to make sense but also idc i had fun writing it. 

Desperation makes things hard to parse. Makes it difficult for Skylar to know what’s something he would always do and something he’s only doing because it’s the end of the world. Makes it difficult to know what Winston is doing because that’s who he is or because it’s the end of the world.  

Maybe it doesn’t matter since he didn’t know Winston before the world ended. Skylar doesn’t know what he or Max were like before this. Before deserted streets, before scavenging what’s left of the cities for anything they can use to survive.

Do he and Winston sit as close as they do because of the loneliness? Winston smiles at him and Skylar’s heart does something that he’s been repressing since he was eleven and his stomach feels like a lead weight and Winston probably doesn’t mean to be doing it anyway because no one ever has. But Winston laughs at his jokes and falls asleep on his shoulder and it’s… nice. It’s nice and it’s because there’s only three of them, it’s because Skylar keeps offering to stay with Winston so he doesn’t have to stay in with his broken ankle while Max and Skylar do supply runs, it’s because human beings need conversation and physical contact and sometimes people like Winston have to settle for people like Skylar.

Winston mentions an ex-boyfriend one day and Skylar wants so badly to say something but can’t get words out of his throat. Can barely even think them without feeling a pressure in his chest that’s impossible to breathe around.

It’s the end of the world and Winston’s bi and Max is a lesbian and neither of them would fucking care and he knows it. But Skylar’s hands shake and his throat is sandpaper so he doesn’t say anything. It doesn’t matter.

Winston’s ankle gets worse. Skylar sees him cry for the second time that night. It’s not on purpose, but the creaking of the old mattress wakes him up. Skylar doesn’t know what to say to make this better.

Winston asks him to promise everything is going to be okay and he can’t, he can’t promise that, he doesn’t know, and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever know. Winston’s hand finds his and grasps it so tightly it hurts.

“I just want something to be real,” he says.

And Skylar doesn’t know what it is. If it’s the look on his face or the grip he has on Skylar’s hand, the tone of his voice, the emphasis of the word real. If it’s everything combined. But he closes his eyes and leans in.

Winston meets him halfway and kisses like he’ll never do it again, desperate, fumbling, never letting go of Skylar’s hand. And it’s like Skylar’s spent his whole life submerged in water and just got to break the surface, and he has no idea if he’ll go back under, so he kisses Winston with matching desperation.

Winston pulls away first, leaving Skylar breathing heavy and scanning Winston’s face for a reaction. Winston’s face is still red from crying, but he’s got the same look he does when Skylar makes a particularly good joke.

“Okay?” asks Skylar, because it’s the only thing he can get out, and Winston laughs.

“Yeah.”

The problem with a frantic kiss in the middle of the night with a man who told you he just wants to have something is it doesn’t leave you anywhere concrete. And Skylar doesn’t talk about it, can’t talk about it, still, still, and he knows it’s not fair to Winston (unless Winston doesn’t want to talk about it anyway, unless Winston does this because he just needs something and Skylar is there).

And Winston doesn’t press.

Supply runs are dangerous, so the next time Skylar volunteers to go instead of Max, Winston pulls him in and kisses him hard, before letting him go and telling him to be safe. It’s casual, but stressed— Skylar doesn’t know whether it was meant to feel like an everyday occurrence or like a goodbye, so he says he’ll try and heads out.

They don’t talk about it. Skylar is too scared, too scared that Winston thinks this is serious, scared he thinks it isn’t. And besides, one of them could die any day. And if anything, Skylar has spent this whole time indicating he doesn’t want to talk about it. Sometimes he thinks he can see a look in Winston’s eye like he wants to, like he’s going too, and Skylar’s heart drops to his shoes. But he never does.

Is it so bad to do things out of desperation? Where’s the line between the real you and the desperate you, the lonely you? Skylar’s always lived with loneliness— different than this; a lonely childhood doesn’t prepare you for the end of civilisation— so is he really that changed now?

If you kiss a man and you don’t know whether it’s because you just wanted something or because you lo— because you. Because you’re. Because.

Skylar’s ribcage is too small for his lungs. This shouldn’t be so fucking hard.

Winston comes back from a supply run and he’s so happy and enthusiastic, so relieved to have gotten to move around again finally, despite the danger. Skylar doesn’t know what gets into him, because they’ve never spoken about it but he knows whatever he has with Winston is reserved for goodbyes, for loneliness, and not for hope and domesticity. But he kisses Winston anyway.

And Winston kisses him back. He pulls away and laughs, and hugs Skylar, and for a moment, Skylar is certain in a way he wasn’t before that this is something more than a convenient outlet, more than a last resort. So he kisses Winton again, and Winston keeps kissing back. 

Skylar is not a man of words. Winston doesn’t ask him to speak.

[brianmaysbread]

im a tag

I was tagged by @awjoj and @the-great-mr-bad-guy  thank <3 (both questions r good and im v bored so im doing both anyway yay))

The person who tagged me wrote 11 custom questions for the people they tagged, and I will write 11 of my own questions and tag some of my followers.

awjoj’s questions

1. Favourite author?

i haven't been reading a lot of ((actual)) novels lately so all i could list are fanfic writers.

2. If you were/are in a band, what instrument would/do you play?

the only instrument i could play good is guitar and,, i guess i would be one(mostly for rhyme cs i suk @ lead + no confidence )

3. Do you sleep with a comforter? (like a special blanket/stuffed toy etc.) If so, what is it and does it have a name?

i dont name my comforter but i do have quite a number of stuffed toys ( which one of them is the carrot doll from ikea(kallot) ; kotori minami nesoberi plushie ; one dumb roger(taylor from queen™) doll that i sewed once and a giant chi(sweet home) plushie ; list could go on but these me main homeboys )

4. A song that gives you intense feelings of nostalgia?

hnggg currently its queenie eye by paul mccartney i guess? idk why tho but it gives me vibes.

5. Tea/coffee/hot cocoa?

hot cocoa or tea

6. A song that has made you cry?

from the sun from UMO made me cry once. also beautiful boy from john lennon it hurts m e (but honestly those r songs from my depression playlist so,,)

7. What do you do for exercise (if at all? XD)

uh i try to do tracks and also taekwando and for more closet exercises is unprofessional gymnastics.

8. Describe the length of your hair. Would you like to change it (cut it shorter, grow it out) or are you happy with the way it is?

around neck-shoulder length i guess? and im p happy with it i guess (other than me hair being thicc as hella ew)?but lowkey misses having long hair?

9. Any tattoos?

nah, but would be interested in one. someday.

10. What posters do you have in your room (if any?) If you have too many to list then what’s the biggest one of?

a lot. and fucking dumb or not its a fanart of Yohane Tsushima(my whole wall is a weeb - other than the one smoll beatles shrine and a few arts here and there but i s2g,, boi,, (also a lot of maddox-rider fanart lmao)

/ / /

the-great-mr-bad-guy questions

1. Is Queen your all-time favorite band?

they share a position with some stupid moptop band now im sorry.

2. If so, what’s your second favorite band?

the who probably. and a few modern bands(UMO,FOB,sum41 etc ehhh how to choose a placing for all me faves ugh)

3. Favorite band member?

Roger can-u-stop-hurting-me Taylor

4. Favorite Queen song?

you and i will always be top alright- ok but other than that its probably flick of the wrist; seaside rendezous or black queen

5. Favorite Queen album? 

sheer heart attack or a kind of magic tbh

6. Whats your opinion on Hot Space?

(that meme of an old man smiling like the office holding a mug.)

7. Do you ship any pairings? (Maylor, Frian, Deacury, etc)

froger or joger tbh

8. Have you ever seen Queen live? If so, original line up, or Queen + Adam Lambert?

(inhales,,,,, dont talk to me about seeing queen live cause i missed the freaking chanced once i cried 17 september 2016 is a cursed date) and original line up as in with freddie??? n o body can replace freddie who dis adam l a m  b a rt

9. Who’s solo career do you like most?

surprisingly i love brians more than rogers.(its just,,, brians voice,, bitch he has the,,, HNGGGG))

10. Favorite Queen concert? (Wembley, Live Aid, Queen Rock Montreal, etc) i would want to say live aid but thats just me all time faves and its not only including queen but anyway budapest is best they sound 10/10 im in love also the recorded concert is amazing too thats why also -im probbaly biased off the recordings now. 11. How long have you been a Queen fan? 

last year ew. how they they ruin my life and dragged me into this,,, classic rock hell! 11

me questions:

1) favourite genres of music

2) aesthetics

3) favourite modern bands(like from 00 eras and above)?

4) does your favourite ship have a theme song? if so, what are they

5) favourite eras of your faves?

6) do you ever check your spam mails in your emails

7) describe the last 3 picture you had just saved vaguely

8) do u think if paul and john ever just talk abt it/and probably yoko never interfered w/ their musics will beatles still be around 2k17

9) would the world be a much calmer place if freddie mercury was still around and was less promiscuous(hence hot space never existed it will be a myTH) 10) fave solo projects from anybody from ur fave band 11) if u can sell ur soul to classic rock and get back nothing in return other than good music would u still do it.

lmao im bd at tagging pepel ; @umthatwasrude @harrisonatemyapplescruffs @itsrogerbaelor @vanillatumbleweedscoffee @hannah-mercury @mehrcurry @geekfaggotnerddreamer

[trans-cryptids]

ayyyy

so i got tagged by @toddsthighs so now im gonna do the thing

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 20 blogs you want to get to know better

Nicknames: i literally dont have any nicknames :/

Star sign: aires

Height: 5′3 or 5′4 i dont remember

Time right now: 7:34 lol im getting ready for school as i type this

Last thing you googled: “when you have weak bones you risk developing” ,,, listen i couldnt remember what osteoporosis was

Fave music artist: look,,, i kno w,, im,, emo,,,,, but,,,,,,,,, its still fob and mcr okay leave me alone

Song stuck in my head: the room where it happens lol i relistened to the hamilton soundtrack last night

Last movie I watched: shit,, i honestly cant remember?? it was probably harry potter and the goblet of fire tho

Last tv show I watched: voltron. voltron is the last show i watched. it is taking over my life. help me. i even made another side blog for it @transgirllpidge

What I’m wearing right now: pants. just pants. as i said im getting ready for school lmao

When I created this blog: shitt... like 2014 i think?? damn its been a wild ride

The kind of stuff I post: shitposts and politics but also harry potter, dan and phil, a few different bands, and the occasional aesthetic post

Do I get asks regularly? no,, i think someone should change this.... (im just a lonely emo pls message me)

Why did I choose my url: well im trans,, and at the time i got that song stuck in my head and now i just like it so im gonna keep it for a while lol

Gender: pretty sure im a dude my dudes but who knows

Hogwarts House: idk man im pretty sure im a hufflefuff but sometimes i get ravenclaw

Pokémon team: sorry to disappoint but i only had the game for a few days and never got to play it bc of school and it would use up a lot of battery power and storage space ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Favorite color: blue. any shade of blue. its just so pretty

Average hours of sleep: nothing in my life has ever been as uneven as my sleep schedule i s2g ill sleep from 9 to 7  for a few days then get exactly 30 seconds of sleep for a week straight soooo..

Lucky number: ughh,, seven i think?? i dont really know

Favorite characters: alright buddy....pal....chum..,,...like,, what are we talking here?? which show? which comic? which book? which movie? which universe? this would end up a page long if i truly tried to name all of them and even then i would probably forget some. this is why i have four sideblogs on top of my main. ((here is a shameless self promo @mercmouths @hamilams @mrbonesy @transgirllpidge )) 

Dream job: taste-testing from my house. in my bed. no but really, i have no idea. just something simple i guess. also maybe writing. i write a lot. not necessarily fanfictions, but kind of like poetry and stuff. (i know im cheesy leave me alone.)

Number of blankets I sleep with: i have this nice thick fluffy blanket that can get really how sometimes but i literally cannot sleep without it. even if its the middle of summer. i guarantee it will still be on some part of me.

Following: holy shit im following 383 people. i need to cut down lmao

i know i would leave someone out if i tried to tag my mutuals,, so im just gonna tag the last 20 people that were in my notifications (which are not mutually exclusive...... get it?? lmao sorry ill go now : @logicheartsoul @falsetthoe @aspaceegirl @trans-klance @fairylightadventures @floating-memes @temporarist @fixmeupphandom @nathou-chan @joe-has-cool-hair @yes-im-trash @shy-phan @lilgirl47 @spookyb-urie @ukulovely @trans-barb @wlwdun @datasstropod @thatsnotpatrick @foggy-dayyy