#i rlly rlly hope i do not sound horribly pretentious in this btw i just

[sparxwrites]

@kkulecru replied to your post:

same as op lol i think i sent a great submission exposing myself too oops

you did, and i am so sorry for not responding to that! idk how to reply to submissions privately, and i didn’t know if you wanted me to post it, and also i was so touched i just like... kept coming back and kind of staring at it a bit and trying to work out how the hell to respond. and then i got a fucking deluge of asks, and it got buried underneath those OTL

(i’m not kidding, i got like 40 asks in five days. i love yall, but you’re insane)

but yes- i got your submission, and it was extremely lovely, and i was very very touched by it. thank you so much for taking the time to write it all out!! also, congrats on your major, and good luck- and i’m extremely honoured to be able to take any kind of credit for what someone chooses to do with such a huge bit of their life.

if i’m allowed to get a bit sappy and introspective here: it does continue to genuinely overwhelm me like... how many people know i exist? how many people view me as someone that should be admired, or looked up to, or is cool?? the fact that i exist in people’s heads rent free? the fact i’ve influenced people, or that people i’ve never met have a concept of me as a person, or that people talk about me whilst i’m not there? it’s just so wild to me! it just... it kind of boggles my mind.

idk if it makes me look like a self-congratulatory dick, writing that out, but it’s with the context that like... idk, i’ve changed a lot as a person irl since my days in the yogs fandom. i’ve grown up a lot! and i look back on the person i was then with great fondness and affection and empathy, but also as - in a lot of ways - a total idiot and a mess. and it’s just insane to me that like... there’s people who thought she was smart, or cool, or inspirational. not in a bad way! not at all in a bad way, it’s deeply touching and i feel genuinely honoured by it, but like...

wow. wow, dude!

every time i get one of those kinds of asks/submissions, it’s like realising that that stone you chucked in a pond without a second thought, like five years ago? the ripples are still going out! and i know it’s a tiny tiny pond by comparison to the audience some people have on the internet, but still... given that this blog is just A Thing i do, for fun, in my spare time... wow. it’s just the absolute weirdest sensation, in the best possible way.

also, since i’ve just made myself look like a total self-absorbed asshole, have the obligatory:

sparx has received [ 23 ] asks from ex-yogs fans welcoming her back to hell