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pizzarollsareokayiguess · 4 years ago

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Far too much (Kuvira x Fem!Reader)

This is part 2 to Close enough? And I’m so thankful for all the people that interacted with my first written work!! So here’s this, I had so much fun writing it! If you guys wanna see somethin more specific or have ideas, send ‘em my way! Love you!!

WC: 5200 (almost 2x my last one!) TW: none that i’m aware of, lemme know though <3

You felt as stupid as a raccoon-toad.

When the avatar came to collect you to travel back to Zaofu, you were excited because you were going back home, even if you were being punished for your crimes. Unfortunately, Suyin had extended the invitation to the other individuals who were also from Zaofu. It seemed that she was sentimental and decided that every one needed a second chance.

So you were stuck with a bunch of people that you were not entirely fond of, especially when they heard of what happened to Kuvira. After that, you could just feel the glares they sent your way, which was annoying because that’s all they did. They just stared and would raise their stupid eyebrows. Why couldn’t they just get over it and shove it? It didn’t help that your injury still required attendance by healers and physical therapy. So even if you wanted to avoid all attention, it was a little pointless when they said you could only apply yourself for a couple of hours before resting.

There was a constant dull throb in your side, no matter the number of healers. Sometimes it would chill out but when you were awake for too long or when you skipped a meal, it would come back and stiffen your back. It was a constant battle and there were some times that you just wished that Kuvira double tapped you. It could've saved a lot of emotional and physical turmoil.

So, back to the situation on hand. You and several others were on a train that would stop in the heart of the Metal Clan. After that, each person would be sent to a camp that was ran by a horse faced individual who lacked the sympathy of a real person. You were told to call him General Zheng, if you ever saw him, and after that he left to go talk to the head of the guard. You and the others were hustled into a medical looking outlet, and each person was given a platinum band around each left ankle.

“It’s to make sure you don’t leave and to make sure you obey. Can’t have you running around like hen-ducks, right?”

ugh.

It had been several days since you had arrived in Zaofu. By then, everyone had been stationed with their community service and you started to get used to the schedule given. General Zhen said since you had to serve the community as your punishment, you could choose your schedule, basically saying, “How long do you really wanna do this?”. You could remain under order until your sentence was done or you could rush it out and leave it early. As early as you could anyway with a 25 year sentence. You decided to go with the latter; even with your injury, you thought that you could cut it by a year or two which sounded pretty minimal but you’d take anything at this point. At 10am you would wake up and eat then head towards the outskirts of the ring. There, you would begin to bend the metal together to create cohesive pieces for other workers to make into the plates that would create the dome. Others were tasked with mining the actual ore, and they were even paid for that, but you had to create the joints for them. Sitting and concentrating for about 8 hours a day would cause you to slouch and then you’d get yelled at by the healers. Who were scarier than a guy on cactus juice. You’d visit the healers once a week and they would see if your scar had healed or if it was infected. After seeing them, you would head over to the park where they held physical therapy outside. It was really nice to see all of nature while an old lady calmly coaxes you into the tree pose. Gaining balance was the hardest because your brain was trying to compensate for the strain in your side. You also kinda wanted to punch the lady because that’s is as far as I go stop pushing me areyoutuchingmerightnowareyouserious.

Needless to say, it was nice to go back to the plain gray walls of your (holding cell) room and just breathe quietly by yourself.

Then you got used to your routine which was a mistake because then something had to go and mess it up. And who else would it be if not for the very person who put you here?

Madam Jilpa was going to be the death of you. That near death experience you had? Insignificant to the pain that this woman was gracing you with. You wanted to strangle her. She was super nice about your wound, saying how it was healing well and then she manhandled you into a position to “stretch your muscles, you’re awfully sore, my dear.” You rolled your shoulders and exhaled as you left the park. Ever since you came back, people avoided you like the plague and it made the anklet a little more tighter each time. Doesn’t help that it was platinum so it just seemed that it was mocking you every time you caught a glimpse of it. Stupid thing. Stupid city. Stupid community service. Stupid- who is that?

You were strolling through the main street of the city, heading to the store when you saw her. Kuvira. The devil herself. Was I thinking about her? Is that why she’s here? Oh god, she can’t see me, what do i do? Where am I gonna hide? You panicked and slid into the nearest shop, which happened to be a tea shop. Luckily there was a line so you didn’t look too odd. Unluckily, the shop had big glass windows. So as much as you could see her, she could possibly see you? Maybe? You dipped next to the door and peeked out, wondering why Kuvira would be away from the estate. Then you saw the entire Beifong family, whelp. That answers your question. No better way to survey someone than surround them with powerful earthbenders. As your eyes glazed over their faces, you saw Bataar Jr. and Kuvira at the back of the pack. You couldn’t tell if they were talking but they looked like they were standing next to each other, and the evil voice in your head wouldn’t stop talking about how they looked. Together.

Not wanting to add mental therapy to your list of visitation rights, you decided to exit the tea shop and go back the way you came. Back to your plain gray room. Because who needs closure when you have, uh, gray pillows and plain bagels?

…

After that train wreck, it didn’t stop.

Suyin (it felt wrong to call her Su) had talked to the General and they made a plan to talk to each of the prisoners. To really decide if they are evil or not. You could make that decision with the way that these people would play Pai Sho, some of them were just cruel and malicious and a better punishment would be to shove em in the boiling rock.

Unfortunately you were on that list of visits and it was 3 days from now. They even accepted letters from family members. So that you could read how disappointed they are, one more time. But! It was written so it had sentimental value. You felt nauseous when you saw your name scrawled on the letter. Better now than later, it would seem.

Y/n,

I remember the day you were born. You were a screaming ball of anger and you wouldn’t stop crying until you were placed on my chest. Then you shushed and swooned. I knew then and there that I would love you till the day I die and every day after. And it seems that even now, I feel the same way. But, I know now that some paths are a little crowded and you lost your way. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you find the light in this dim world, but I just wanted you to know that you are my light. And that is all that matters. When you first left, I was left with irreplaceable pain because in a way, you had left me. But you were just touching the ground and spreading your fingers. You thought you knew best and I’m proud of you for sticking with it. But now that you see the end of this journey, you must stick with the repercussions. That is what it means to find the light and settle with it. You face your decisions and lay with the judgements. I’m glad that you came back to Zaofu. Hopefully, one day, I’ll be able to see your beautiful face again.

Love always,

Mom and Dad

A chip had left your shoulder. Thank the spirits. You could feel the wetness on your cheeks from the compassion from your parents. Perhaps they were right.

Bracing yourself with these words of encouragement, you faced Suyin with strong shoulders and a flinch in your side (cause, honestly, the tea isn’t that good at keeping the pain down).

…

When you were growing up, your parents had tried everything to stop you from sneaking out of the house. They tried metal bars, they tried positive reinforcements, they tried every parental trick in the book. They couldn’t keep you from whatever entranced you from the house. The only person who ever humored you and whoever treated you with some semblance of respect was Kuvira, or ‘Vee, when you were kids. Granted, she also had a rocky relationship but what’s a pot and what’s a kettle? When your parents finally noticed where you were going when you left, they talked to Su about it. If they couldn’t keep you down, they’ll just make sure that nothing bad happens. Because of that, you would spend many hours on the Beifong estate, surrounding yourself with other earthbenders and playing games with the other kids. As you grew, you started to notice how Opal would talk about the cute boy in her class or how Wing and Wei would blush when the dance recitals were held. But, as you got older, all you could think about was how pretty ‘Vee’s eyes were. How green they were, and how much they sparkled when she talked about how she finally joined the guard. How the tank tops she wore outlined her shoulders. You never noticed that when other people were looking outside, that you had found your view right in front of you. Su noticed of course, being the romantic that she was, she got so excited whenever her children were talking about love. Su knew you well, and when Kuvira left Zaofu, she had a feeling that you would leave with her. She had tried so hard to understand you, but she was so angry. Angry at Bataar Jr, angry at Kuvira, angry about everything, that she forgot that you got the short end of the stick too.

So she was nervous too when she invited you over.

…

The door had opened by then even when you hoped that it would remain shut for a little while longer. A guard had escorted you from your quarters into the matriarch’s afternoon room and she was seated near a window that looked to the sprawling estate of the Metal Clan. She looked up at you and smiled softly, and even from the doorway, you could tell that she had gotten older. Maybe not physically, but her eyes were a little wiser and a little more battle worn.

You had settled into the opposite chair, with some grace that you managed to muster, and she had offered you tea. It smelled of lemon and blueberries and you couldn’t help but relax. You couldn’t help it, seeing Su as a mother figure made you wistful of all the memories you shared. With those came remorse and you immediately felt guilty.

“Thank you for allowing me to come back to Zaofu, Su-Suyin, I am eternally grateful that you have allowed me back after what I did,” you said. After your stutter, it seemed your words came in a rush, unable to be held back.

“I wanted to apologize for leaving in the first place. I didn’t realise that I was blind to all the hurt that occurred when this thing started and I should’ve noticed when the first person that was wounded was you. I thought that I knew what I was doing when I left because I thought Ku-” you inhaled sharply, “I thought she would be the answer. It was wrong of me to place such big standards on her without thinking of the consequences. I know now that I followed her out of personal feeling, and not logic. I will forever be humbled by the events that happened and I just hope that you may forgive me. I am incredibly regretful of turning my back on you Su, I wish my eyes had stayed open a little longer.”

You were a little choked up and you finally pulled your eyes away from your tea cup to look at Su, finding her eyes already on you. Tears were pooling in her eyes and she was softly smiling.

Laughing softly, she speaks.

“You don’t speak often but when you do, you speak,” she sighs and looks outside again.

“I must admit that the most heartbreaking thing was watching Kuvira walk out because i knew that if she left, you would too. It's been that way since you were children. Little younglings running across the estate, throwing rocks and giggling to yourselves. I knew when she left that you would go. You follow the ones you love, you want them in your lives so you do what you must. I understand the feeling well.”

She looks at you and stands from her seat, walking around the table and kneeling at your side.

Softly, she places her hands on yours and squeezes.

“When I saw you on the floor, my mind ran a thousand miles. But until your testimony before your trial, I never imagined. The Kuvira that you love exists, but the Kuvira you followed are not the same. I’m sorry that I didn’t get the chance to warn you. People change right before your very eyes and it’s hard to adapt. I love you as if you were my own, Y/n, and I forgive you. As a parent, I am disappointed but that’s to be expected.”

Smiling you lurched forward and squished her against yourself. It didn’t take you long to become a little touch-starved from being in prison but man, hugging Su felt like landing on cotton and honey. Squeezing your shoulders, Su pulls back.

“Y/n, I’m telling you now what I had to tell myself. The right people get second chances. Currently, Kuvira and Bataar Jr are working with Korra and her friends to stop the remaining forces of the United army. They are good people, and I believe that they can do good things. But it’s up to them. You must wait for them to come to you. This isn’t in your hands now. If they want to change, they must do it themselves. That is my advice to you: good people will come around, they just need time.”

She gave you one last hug and released you. Stepping back she smiled, her eyes finally matching.

“I don’t want to take up all of your day, so I’ll let you go for now.”

You said your goodbyes with Su and the guard escorted you off of the estate.

It didn’t hit you until then that you didn’t flinch everytime she said Kuvira. Taking what Su and your parents said, you lifted your shoulders and promised yourself that you would change your days. You would begin the days with a smile and you would end the days with satisfaction.

…

Days had passed by then and your mood had only gotten better. Physical therapy was going better, your side had stopped constantly throbbing and was starting to scar over. Blues and yellows surrounded the tissue but you were able to go up stairs without passing out! Checking the integrity of the metal plates was what filled your afternoons but those passed by too. Soon, the petals of the metal clan were slowly starting to form and the construction was almost complete.

One day, when you were coming back from your shift, you had heard that Kuvira had returned. Something about brainwashing and how Asami was kidnapped? It sounded crazy to you but when you thought about it, there was this one doctor who wanted to control a person's thinking. Luckily, ‘Vee thought it was too barbaric and the idea was shelved. Korra was able to put a stop to it and her friends were returned back to normal with both charges returning back to Zaofu. It seemed that that test had proved to the rest of the Beifong family that they had taken a step towards fixing their past and wanting to grasp their future. You were happy that they decided to redeem themselves. It made sleep a little easier knowing that your ‘Vira was still in there.

Your brain wasn’t helpful though. As successful physical therapy was, it never helped the nightmares. It didn’t help the murmurs of your brain and the self deprecating remarks. It was exhausting. (How come she gets a happy ending? Wasn’t I supposed to be a part of it? I thought she loved me? I thought-) Yeah, well, you thought a lot of things. Just eat your toast and inspect that metal. Spirits sake.

…

Flowers were delivered to you.

Lilacs. Their fragile petals and purple centers called to you and you froze looking at them. They were placed in your quarters along with mail from your parents. You weren’t allowed to send mail yet but you could still receive them. But flowers?

Listen, as an earthbender and a metalbender, you have grown to know the planet pretty well. From the flimsy sand to the swollen stone beneath you, you feel the breath of the earth in your bones.

But that doesn’t mean you know a single thing about flowers. You know that they are pretty and that roses can be yellow in certain parts of the continent but lilacs? Pretty, purple, dainty, flowers? Confusion couldn’t even begin to explain the words you were feeling. Don’t flowers have meanings too? You have never received flowers before, you had convinced everyone around you that you would rather punch a boulder than receive flowers. And yet here they are.

It seems as if they are staring at you. Glaring at you. Laughing at you. (Who calls themselves an earthbender but can’t tell the difference in flowers? How stupid of-)

Snapping yourself from your stupor you spin around and walk right into the door jam.

Son of a flying-

…

You corner Hahn later on that night. Word in the prison yard says that when he was a free man, he was a farmer who lived next to a guy who happened to be a gardner of flowers. Which flowers didn’t matter but the fact that you kind of knew someone that had knowledge of flowers seemed like a win.

You plopped yourself on the seat in front of him and stared into his aged eyes. He had dark spotted skin from his field days and the wrinkles around his eyes suggested that he knew many things. A trustworthy source. (Your only source)

“Do you know anything about flowers Hahn?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I got two days worth of desert that has your name on it if you tell me a thing or two.” Interest peaked, he leaned forward.

“I have a reputation kid, I ain’t just gonn’ blab about flowers to anyone. I don’t wann’ seem like a flim, ya know?”

“I ain’t gonna talk, I’ll even slide another honey cake in there.”

He thinks for a moment or two before nodding. You slide him the desert from today and he places it into his pocket. Leaning forward, you can smell sunshine and grass from him.

“What do you know about this?”

You had gently picked a single bud from your bouquet to show him. You weren’t positive if they were lilacs but they were purple and how many flowers were actually purple?

Humming for a moment, he responds. “. . .Syringa, if I remember correctly. Sold like hot cakes. There’s about several different kinds. This one here is just the smaller kind. If you tryna woo a lass, you call ‘em Lilacs. They got a strong scent though, so careful on the nose.”

Nodding, you ask, “does it have meaning?”

He shrugs, handing the bud back to you. “ Well, it could mean a lot of things. In the younger years, you’d give it to your lass to remind ‘em of your love. Like, a new beginning of love, remindin’ them of a new stage.”

He then looks you in the eye and glares. “Not a word about this hog wash or I’m stealing your pillow.”

You laugh, “you have my lips sealed, H.”

…

You hadn’t received any more bouquets and your pillows remained intact. New love? Who in the world could that be? You kept your eyes peeled for lurkers when you were on breaks and besides the common glare, nobody else seemed to be paying attention. So where did they come from? You had formed a vase with clay in order to keep your flowers and you were a little tickled to find that they lit up the room. Hmph.

…

Kuvira was two seconds away from suffocating herself. When did it get so hard to be a good person?

The amount of guilt that lifted from her shoulders from the trial was impalpable and she felt almost as confident as 4 years ago. The Beifongs were friendly and she was able to join and attend multiple events and she was slowly learning how to be a mentally stable person. She had started seeing someone in the city and once every two weeks they would take her apart and put her back together. She was getting used to it. Slowly.

But, spirits, did she miss you.

Something would happen during the day and she would turn to see you, see how your eyebrows would raise and how you would stifle your laughter behind your hands. And then she’d turn and you wouldn’t be there. It was total whiplash, and she wasn’t used to it just yet. Dr. Moko had yet to ask about the elephant-rhino in the room and Kuvira was waiting for the day where she would ask, “why did you attempt two murders, both of which were individuals you cared about?”

What a loaded question. Kuvira wondered how she got stuck with house arrest and not prison.

On one hand, it's an easy question. She thought she was doing a good thing. Bataar Jr. happened to be in the same place as the avatar and most of the resistance when she fired the spirit weapon and at the time it seemed like a good idea. (Not a good defense, she’s glad this question wasn’t raised during her trial). On the other hand. . .

Her soul would wither when she thought about. . .the. . kiss.

She felt that she was ignited and smothered at the same time. When she felt you melt into her arms, it was intoxicating. Your smell had surrounded her and you felt good in her hands. How she wanted to stay there forever. She wished that she could have stayed there forever. But the voice in her head was blood thirsty and on a victory roll and couldn’t be stopped. It was no excuse but the pain that Kuvira felt when she saw you slowly bleed out in her arms was so much that she zoned out and went on autopilot.

In one of the sessions she has with Dr. Moko, she mentions the voice with high reluctance. Dr. Moko says that the instinctual desires in her subconscious had risen to the challenge and took over, blocking out rational and emotional thought. This discussion had encompassed several sessions and because of that, Kuvira was able to gain control and become a little more independent with her thoughts. It gave her a sense of control, knowing that the Beifong family could trust her again, knowing that Korra wasn’t wrong when she said that they were alike. She had hope and all the split ends of her misdeeds were tying themselves together. But y/n. . .

You plagued her mind like a wine-stained carpet. So naturally, she (subtly) asks Su what happened after Korra stopped the spirit vine weapon. Su fills her in on the hospital visits, the trial, the physical therapy, the letters, everything.

That week Kuvira stomps into Dr. Moko’s office and says, “I need to talk about y/n.”

And so she does.

She sends you flowers.

Flowers?! She doesn’t have a flower bone in her body, why in the world did she pick out flowers? She even had a mind to pick out a specific type, lilacs: new love. She wanted to ask the florist for a bouquet that would convey “I’m sorry that I stabbed you, I am becoming a mentally stable person and I really wanna kiss you again and you are really pretty.”

Kuvira figures that lilacs are good enough.

. . .

It had been about two weeks since you received the flowers. They had started to wilt and you couldn’t help but get sad. You still had not figured out who sent them but a tiny part of you hoped that maybe she sent them. That she still thought of you while she’s learning how to be herself. It was selfish of you to think so, but you couldn’t help it. Kuvira was a major part of your life and to be without her made your heart ache. But you made do. After all, you still had 24 years of community service. . . you sigh. That doesn’t make it better.

You’re walking towards the park to take part in your therapy session. Several other people had come and gone and it was nice to see people learning how to overcome their struggles. You were growing stronger every day. Madam said that soon, you would be able to fully do the physical side of bending again. You could spar soon! You were starting to get antsy with all the chill meditation that Madam Jilpa was having you do. The bruising was gone on your side and you could extend your arms fully without twinges or aches.

You step onto familiar green grass and take off your shoes. Feeling the earth beneath your feet helped ground you when trying new therapy techniques that had you worried that your legs would suddenly give out on you. After placing your shoes next to your bag you look up and see your teacher and several others. There were more people today than usual which was odd. You couldn’t remember if there was a sudden climb of injuries in the last week but alas, more people meant less one-on-one time from the old lady herself. You walk over to a spot of grass and plop down, stretching your legs out in front of you. Planning on doing basic stretches you exhale-

“Need a partner?”

-and immediately inhale. You open your eyes and swirl around looking at the individual. Kuvira stands there relaxed, if not a little stiff, and is looking at you with her hands behind her back. The naive voice in your head screams in victory and you nod your head, still silent. Kuvira sits next to you and out of panic, you look around seeing everyone else doing the buddy system. Some were wearing the same clothing patterns as Kuvira meaning that they came over as a group. Meaning this wasn’t accidental. Meaning this was planned. Meaning this was the worst day of your entire life. Perhaps you should just run away and become a no name in the wilds, because then you’d be able to cope with the situation instead of just stewing in silence.

Kuvira places her knees together and leans forward, stretching her head towards her legs as she exhales. Knowing that Madam Jilpa would swat you, you slowly do the same. After you scootch further away, of course.

It’s painfully awkward. As Madam Jilpa begins, others join in with soft whispers and mutters of conversation. But the bubble that surrounds you is so tense that it doesn’t help the panic spasms that start to creep up your spine.

After coming back up from a lateral position, your eyes roam and they meet Kuvira’s. She’s looking at you fully, and not even Madam’s loud “Next!” breaks her attention. She’s looking at you and she stops her exercise to face you completely. Her eyes lower and she looks at your right side where your shirt had bunched up showing the scar tissue. Shocked, you pull your shirt down and shuffle a little farther away.

She speaks so softly you probably wouldn’t have heard her had you not been so attuned with her whole being.

“I’m sorry.”

You inhale and nod, bracing your attention forward and copying Madam’s next movement.

You try incredibly hard to ignore her stare for the rest of the session but it’s so heavy and so thick. At some point, Madam introduces a new position and spirits does it pull a muscle that you didn’t realise you had. It starts with your back on the ground, which is easy enough, and then you lift your hips and turn to the side. Keeping your shoulders to the ground, your head turns the opposite way. You flinch when it strains the muscles in your side. Your legs begin to quiver when a hand settles over your knee and brings your legs away from the ground, making the stretch more shallow. Your eyes see Kuvira as she holds your legs.

“Don’t do it too deep, you’ll sprain something. Start here.”

Following that, she lowers your legs again but into a place that doesn’t make you flinch in pain.

You missed her touch, you realise. You missed how softly she would hold you. Your eyes start to water when you realise how fucked up this is. She is right there in front of you, and all you can think about is how betrayed you felt. You never got the closure you needed from her and it’s being revealed as she helps you stretch. You’re silently crying while she places your legs down and helps you into a seated position.

“I should have visited you some time ago. I wanted to apologize to you, for wounding you and for leaving you alone when all you did was trust me. I misplaced your trust and I will forever be in your debt for doing so. I am incredibly sorry y/n,” she says as she looks into your eyes.

You sniffle as she grabs your hands. Squeezing them, you respond.

“Thank you, ‘Vee.”

And when you smile, the future seems a whole lot brighter.

#Kuvira #Kuvira x reader #Kuvira imagines #LOK imagines #legend of korra #LOK #I am a lesbian herald #my writing #new!

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yourdearhart · 5 years ago

Text

The Final Bout

Yuta found Louis sitting on the front steps, the back of his head a smudge of red-brown against the pale gray concrete and the stark white of his athletic wear. His mask sat on the step beside him, his foil across his knees.

“Louis-san, your last match is going to start soon,” he said, clasping his hands at the top of the stairs. Across the field to the left, the sun was swooning in a burst of yellow-orange light, lighting the trees up in a blaze.

“I’m waiting for Father,” Louis said, and Yuta fought to keep his battered shoulders from immediately slouching under an undefinable weight.

“Don’t you want to wait inside?” he asked. “You don’t want to miss your own match.” The parking lot was empty, except for the pair of them, and a few fireflies out early. They were far from the peak of summer, but that creeping heat was starting to make itself known, so that they might have been comfortably warm sitting out in shorts and t-shirts.

“No, I’ll wait here.” Louis’ attention was fixed on the stillness of the parking lot, and Yuta was almost grateful. Too many times the fawn had fixed those eyes on him in question, so big and wide and soft, belaying the hardness in such a young face. Every time Yuta looked into those beguilingly dolorous eyes, he thought somewhere, some hind’s heart was breaking—but Oguma-sama never spoke of the fawn’s mother. Louis never spoke of her either.

“Are you sure?” Yuta’s nervous fingers twisted together. He understood Oguma-sama’s position, but being the one to stand between him and young Louis was never enjoyable. “Louis-san…your father is very busy.”

“I know,” Louis said evenly, like a tiny boardroom attendee. “This is just my last match. I told him it would be the last bout of the day. The very last, so he only needs to come for the end, not the whole thing.”

“Did…did Oguma-sama say he was coming?” Yuta already knew the answer to that; Tama would have told him if Oguma-sama planned to come. It was…possible it had escaped her. But. Seven years since he had come to live with them, and somehow Louis was still playing these games, making the house staff play intermediary in his efforts to get his father’s attention. Yuta couldn’t be mad—not at Oguma-sama, who kept Yuta in a job he enjoyed, nor at Louis, who was fighting a losing bout against his father’s business.

“No. But I told him about it. I’ll wait here, in case he comes.” The mulish tone in Louis’ voice defeated any further efforts to persuade him out of it. That was one area in which he took his cue directly from Oguma-sama—the pair of them would turn the blue sky green with their stubbornness.

“Okay…but your match will be starting in a few minutes,” he warned Louis, backing away to slip back into the school.

A few minutes later, Yuta was back.

“Louis-san, they’re calling your name,” he said. Louis said nothing, and did not move, and Yuta was frozen in place. Perhaps Louis-san had not been aware, before he started attending school, of the disparity in parental attention paid to him, compared to his fellows. But he had been two years in school with others now, and it had become apparent to him. “You…you should come in, now. It looks like Oguma-sama was—”

“Busy.” Louis rose to his feet with that delicate grace unique to Cervidae, sweeping his mask up in one hand and twirling his foil to his side with the other. “Wait here, Yuta,” he instructed the butler with a delicacy that Yuta suspected shielded his true feelings. “In case he comes. You can show him where we’ve been sitting.”

“Don’t you want me to see your fight, Louis-san?” Yuta asked with an anxious smile.

“No. I need you here in case Father comes. Thank you,” he added in a soft voice, giving Yuta a respectful nod as he passed by.

How long could Yuta stand there? He was missing Louis-san’s bout, and they both knew Oguma-sama wasn’t coming. Leaving the fawn alone felt wrong, but he knew how particular Louis was about some things—he might be upset if Yuta left his post. In the end, he waited until the match was likely to be over, and then ventured in. He would need to collect Louis to return home.

In the post-meet kerfuffle, he wasn’t able to find Louis. He wandered around the gym, checking passing fencers for that familiar little rack, dodging bulky bags of foils, epees, and sabers, and questioning the instructors—even called into the locker room—but his little charge was nowhere to be seen.

Louis had always been an odd child; they had all been concerned when the time came for him to attend school. So far, their worries had proved remarkably unnecssary, and Louis had slid into the stream with the other students as if he were no different. Still, he was strange sometimes, and Yuta began to worry this was one of those times.

When he emerged from the odor of socks and sweaty jerseys that permeated the hall outside the locker rooms, the gym was emptying, and Oguma-sama’s fawn was nowhere to be seen. Yuta hurried outside with all the hustle of someone who has lost a child that isn’t theirs, and was relieved to see he and Louis had missed each other in the crowd. The fawn was sitting on the steps again, making the departing families cut a swath around him on their way to their cars.

“Louis-san! There you are. How did it go?”

“Did he come?”

Sometimes, it felt like these questions were not for Louis’ benefit. Yuta hesitated to ascribe any such cunning to a fawn, especially one as obedient as Louis, but it felt like, sometimes, Louis-san was making some kind of pointed remark at Yuta by asking.

“…no, I’m afraid not, Louis-san. Work must have tied him up.”

“There may have been traffic,” Louis suggested, his eyes still trained forward.

“…perhaps,” Yuta allowed.

“We should wait, in case he is on his way,” Louis said. Yuta’s feet ached with the prospect of a return delayed, and he knew Marion would be dismayed if they were late for dinner. But he had just agreed that it was possible Oguma-sama was on his way, so he couldn’t get away without waiting at least a few minutes. He came to stand beside Louis.

“You’re right, we should wait a few minutes, just in case,” he agreed. “That’s very thoughtful of you, Louis-san.”

The school slowly drained of people, flowing into the parking lot, and from there, snaking off into cool homes where dinners and beds waited, alight with the glow of victory, or slumped in despair. Dozens of stories all self-contained, and Louis watched them depart with no indication he was ready to go.

“Louis-san…Marion will have dinner ready for you,” Yuta said. “You don’t want it to get cold, do you?”

“Father may come,” Louis said. “I will wait.” Despite all the progress he had made since they had first met him, Louis’ speech was still…off. For a twelve-year-old, he had a strangely stilted, formal way of speaking, like someone who had just learned a new language. It was fading quickly with his introduction into school, but it gave him a unique speech pattern. Many times they had wondered about this—no one more than Mara, the nanny. But if either Oguma-sama or Louis himself had answers, they were not forthcoming.

Quietly, Yuta sighed.

“I can call Tama, and see if he’s still at the office,” Yuta offered then. Was it unkind, to so quash Louis’ hopes? He wasn’t sure, but Louis-san needed to eat, and it couldn’t be good for him to continue this charade. The fawn’s shoulders tensed, knowing the jig was almost up. When Tama announced Oguma-sama was still in his office, they would have no illusions left.

“Okay.” But Louis had no good reason to refuse. So Yuta dialed the office number, and spoke with Tama.

“Well he…he’s left the office,” he reported with surprise, and Louis’ ears twitched.

“Maybe there was an accident,” Louis suggested. “The traffic is always worst when there’s been an accident.” Another quiet sigh from Yuta, and the sheep eased himself down onto the step a few feet from Louis.

“Yes…perhaps there was an accident,” he agreed softly. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to ask Tama whether Oguma-sama had planned on attending the meet, not with Louis sitting at his feet. Perhaps he was too reluctant to shatter Louis’ remaining self-delusions that his father might be on his way.

The doors of the school were locked shut behind them as the night janitors finished up and left for their own homes. The sun had fainted away long ago, and Yuta was getting stiff from sitting out on the concrete.

“Maybe…we should call the house,” Yuta said then. “And see if Oguma-sama is at home.” He had expected a slouching of shoulders, a lowering of the head, some sign of disappointment, but there was none, and again he thought that Louis must have known all along his father would not come.

“Okay.” The way he answered, Yuta knew he saw it as a defeat. As he dialed the house, the fawn continued to stare at the empty parking lot, his jaw tight as a coil of steel.

“Yuta-san! Thank goodness you’ve called!” Edith answered the phone. “Where are you? Where is Louis-san? Wasn’t the meet supposed to end at seven?”

“…yes, it did. Is Oguma-sama there?”

“Did something happen?” she gasped into the receiver. “Oh, God! Are you okay?”

“Nothing’s happened. We’re just checking in,” Yuta soothed her.

“Yes, Oguma-sama got back a couple hours ago,” she said. “It’s nearly ten!”

“I see. Thank you, Edith.”

“Should I have Marion heat up dinner for Louis-san?”

“Yes, I think that would be best.” He daren’t make assumptions about what plans Oguma-sama’s fawn had, but presumably, they were free to go now that they were no longer leashed by fantasy. He bid Edith goodbye and looked at Louis. “Oguma-sama is at the house,” he said. Louis looked over him, and the boy’s expression didn’t change in the slightest. “They’re expecting us.”

“Okay.” Yuta waited, but nothing else came, just Louis looking down at his feet and grasping at his ankles.

“Are you ready to go, Louis-san?” Yuta asked him gently, rising to his feet and marveling that his knees didn’t creak audibly.

“I don’t understand,” Louis said, seemingly to himself. His voice had not yet begun to crack and break, but carried the sweetness of childhood still. “I won. I won, Yuta.” He looked up at the butler.

“Congratulations! And your father is very proud of you, Louis-san,” Yuta told him, trying to pour into his words some truth he knew of Oguma-sama. Louis pulled himself to his feet with some great effort, and collected his things.

“We should get home,” he murmured. “I’m sorry for making you wait with me.”

“It’s no trouble,” Yuta lied, directing Louis over to the car. “Edith will let Marion know to heat your dinner up, so it will be ready when you get back.” Louis balked no more as he put his things into the car and climbed into the back seat.

“Yuta, is my father very careless with the things he buys? Does he buy things which he does not need?” After several minutes of driving in silence, weighty with a child’s disappointment, Louis broke it with a question.

“Oh no, Oguma-sama always considers every purchase very carefully,” Yuta answered. “He doesn’t buy anything that doesn’t have a purpose and he always takes care of the things he buys.” What a strange question for a child to ask—but that was Louis. Following what went on in his mind was a task perpetually executed in vain.

“That’s what I thought.” Lapsing into silence, Louis stared out the car window, a deep furrow between his eyes, and did not speak the rest of the ride home.

#about the actor #rocky writes #Louis fenced for a bit as a fawn #but he gave it up when he got more into theater #yuta #father

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