#i reread like half of election arc today and i'm going aughhhhh oughhh the family themeessssss

[timeskip]

Thinking...........................

Killua not realizing that he'd been thinking of Nanika as a threat to Alluka ;-; Or rather, he thought of ILLUMI as a threat to Alluka, and thought that Nanika never coming out again would protect Alluka, when really it WOULDN'T. He was desperate, this whole arc he's been SO desperate to save Alluka... And without realizing it, he hurt Alluka and Nanika both ;-; He became the thing he wanted to crush,,

Thinking thinking thinking. About unconditional love and about how Alluka rejects his love even though he's the only one who loves her. Killua tells her to not think about anyone else, but Alluka DOES think about Nanika, who is a part of her :')

Also there's something to be said for how Alluka would be fine with herself disappearing but not with Nanika disappearing. She's desperate for everyone to be happy, because she can't conceive of not wanting her family to be happy. She's bought into the story that they've just been doing it to protect the family, despite Nanika and herself being the object of fear

I suppose this is a sign that Alluka has started to realize her own worth, or at the very least NANIKA'S worth. Because nobody is there to protect Nanika except for Alluka herself, so she has to. The same way nobody was there for her except Killua :') She learned from the best :')

And maybe neither of them know how to love themselves because the Zoldycks don't want them to. They want them to be killers and not protect each other, for them to not even be FAMILY. But they are. And together they're able to leave the family and stop being controlled by their manipulation, and the thought that what they are, WHO they are, is worse for the good of the family. Because they are their own people. Wahhhhh.