#i remember watching this live and being like 😧 he can actually sing?!?!?!

[cottagewhores]

merry christmas everyone!!!

[feathers-fallen-on-riverdale]

Season 1 Episode 2: Chapter 2 - A Touch Of Evil ⬇️

[Ep. Statues: Already Watched/First Time Watching + Remember/Vaguely/Don't Remeber]

WHAT is it with this show and showing me that nasty ass board?

Am I horrible person for laughing at Jason's facial expression when he's laying on the corner's table?

😑😒 I'm gonna be seeing this man's unrealistic abs for a while aren't I?

Jesus Christ bro put a shirt on you'll catch a cold.

"This isn't a negotiation this is our lives." Okay bitch you meant your life.

Fred every time you show up on my screen I start thinking this show is worth it. Also give me stories of Jughead's tree house.

"An accidental drowning, who cares?!" AGAIN are we sure Betty's mom isn't the phsyco?

Betrayed you? Alice here is acting like they violated some ancient treaty or something. Remind me again who's the teenage girl?

Okay go Betty! Being all emotionally intelligent!

"Watch it Wednesday Addams!" TRANS JUGHEAD CONFIRMED?!!!

(Jellybean made the patches for him when he came out! He also has them as pins beside the crown pin on his beanie)

AGAIN #LetKevinHitThat2022

VERONICA GOT HER FLOWERS! 🤩🤩🤩. Nooo not yellow for friendship they should be red and pink and there should be violets there too because sapphic and.... hold up I gotta search something up.

Tulips, peonies, purple hyacinths and white orchids.

HERS AND HERS MENI PEDIS. jdjksjs the nail tech asks them how long they've been together and Betty says they just got together before Veronica can get a word out.

What is it with the Lodge women and pearls. Oh god I just got the vivid image of early 20s Hiram Lodge with a single dangly pearl earring. Might try and edit that later.

Edit: I did it!!!!

(I think Hiram would have done drag at least once in his life. What would his drag name be?)

Wow okay Jughead caught on fast go on gender King!

Girl the fact that Kevin left Betty high and dry for Moose. He's breaking the gay best friend stereotype you're honour 😢 /sarcasm

"Once again, fate throws us together once more" uhuh fate being Kevin's hornieness for Moose dick. Mmmm maybe Kevin's onto something? #KevinShipsBeronica perhaps?

Jesus they're really laying the guilt tick on Archie.

Shipper Veronica? Good to know.

... I really don't want to be mean. But. Archie you can't sing for shit.

Oh Betty.... you're GAY.

...... Grundy is really being fucking manipulative. Did she kill Jason?

JUGHEAD. JUGHEAD IN HERE COME HELP YOUR CARROT TOP.

Mmmmh I don't like this passive aggressive honeymoon phase Beronica are in.

😧 Betty you bitch. Okay now I can see how these 2 (Betty and Cheryl) are related.

Awwww Betty tutoring dyslexic Archie my beloved. After she tutors Archie and she gets a little older she states tutoring other neurodivergent and disabled kids. She tells her mother it's for her college application but it's actually it's so she can keep an eye on her own and create a support system within Riverdale.

Is Cheryl hitting on Betty? Godamit if they weren't related I'd ship that. Okay neverMIND 😬. That ship sank about as fast as it floated.

Wha????? Okay that.... escalated. Wasn't a serial killer gene mentioned in later seasons?

Jughead is me when it comes to Grundy.

"There's more?" - The damming words of one Jughead Jones in season 1 of a CW show.

Me @ Jughead:

Also I'm surpised but Jughead seems to have the single brain cell on this show (expect for Fred Andrews).

Archie, do you actually believe this? Oh this is getting too real too fast.

Okay Alice is giving facebook woman. Also the pagan comment is.... icky.

The transphobia against my boy is evil. Also not Reggie picking up on Jarchie vibes.

Again Fred is being the best person on this show.

But after this, does Archie like, talk to anybody about him and Grundy? About how there was obvious a power imbalance and grooming?

Also the Jarchie moments are so genuine. At least this side of the polycule is coming along nicely.

This feels way too professional for a highschool cheer squad. But what do I know, America is weird.

Oh. Cheryl is feeling the full blow of her trauma. I wonder how this is gonna be handled.

"He was supposed to come back" !? OH I remember now. He was supposed to run away with Polly and Cheryl was in on it. Him drowning was supposed to be a cover up.

Omg Beronica first date!

Oh a vow 😏. "Yes Betty lets commit interact rituals together. No boy will get between us."

Omg double date! The Riverdale polycule is assembling!!!!!!!!!

Oh I remember Cheryl's arrest so vividly this makes no sense to me. Staring to remember bits and pieces? I remember Jason's father had something to do with it definitely.

Unhinged rating: 1/10. The unhinged has suddenly plummeted. There were some genuine moments in there but it got dark real quick, from Alice being a psycho to Archie being groomed. But the dialogue is still Like That and the polycule is solidifying.

Starting several new segments:

Archie ab shot count (per episode then added together per season): Two. The first was more subtle the second just made me cringe.

Cheryl's Bitch-O'Meter: 🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹|🏹🏹

A hefty 8/10 bow and arrows because of her moment at Betty's house.

Is it a bird? A plane? No it's a new headcannon pulled right out of thin air! :

Trans(masc) Jughead

Wednesday Addams/General Addams family stan Jughead

Veronica speaks flower language

Betty and Veronica's nail tech think they're a couple

Hiram Lodge used to wear a single dangly pearl earring in his 20s.(and still does on special occasions)

Drag Queen Hiram Lodge

#KevinShipsBeronica. He's our in-canon captain of the ship

Veronica is a diehard shipper (of what you ask? Anything)

Archie is a horrible singer but still writes lyrics

Betty creates a support group for neurodivergent/learning disabled people for her and Archie

Season 1 Alice Cooper is a facebook mom

Riverdale polycule first date/go to date idea is milkshakes at Pop's

Tag list (you can ask to be added [or removed]) though I doubt anyone will ask: @youre-only-gay-once