#i remember watching it in the car with my mum and being completely gobsmacked

[thenighttrain]

i don't think anything could have ever prepared us for the lwymmd music video - from her crawling out of a damn GRAVE "here lies taylor swift's reputation" and zombie taylor, the snakes, the spotify reference, the bathtub with the single dollar note, the references to kim/kanye, the "CAUSE SHE'S DEAD!" giving us a heart attack, and then all the old taylors plus the conversation at the end... she was truly a cultural reset. a moment in time. will never ever be forgotten.

[ritebeforeyoureyes]

Helpless

This was requested by the Timzussy Cokeheads!

Masterlist – Plot: Tom misses Zendaya when in London and resorts to watching old interviews of her.  

Helpless (One-Shot)

One day – it was all Tom needed for him to start missing Zendaya again.

Despite having elongated his stay in L.A. following the Oscars and spending every waking moment by her side, a few hours apart was all it took for the sadness to kick in. He had thought that sometime at home, before the first leg of the Infinity War press tour, would do him some good. After Infinity War promotion, Tom was scheduled to be shooting movies back-to-back in the States and he didn’t know when he’d have the time to come back to London next.

But here he was, at home, sat with the likes of Harrison, Harry and Tuwaine and all he could focus on was the biracial beauty he had left weeping in her car at the airport. Their goodbyes were always tough; hiccups, tears and long hugs. And this time had been no different.

It seemed Zendaya had become selfish since the offset of the new year. Her and Tom had spent so much time together as of recently that finally letting him go made the pain increase threefold.

“Tom.” She had hiccupped in his arms, her nails refusing to release the t-shirt she was clinging to ever so tightly. “A month is a long time-“

“I know, baby, I know.” Tom had just held her as she cried into his chest, his eyes glancing between her and the watch on his wrist. As much as he wanted to soothe her, he had a flight to catch and he was already late. “But I have to go, okay?” Zendaya nodded slowly in his arms, her forehead resting against the slightly damp spot on his shirt. “I’ll see you soon.”

“I love you.” She had said after reluctantly pulling away so that their lips could skim over one another briefly.

“I love you too.” Tom’s voice had been sullen. This upcoming month of absence was going to be busy for both Zendaya and Tom and despite wanting to be idealistic, he knew their video chats and phone calls would be a rarity. So, he’d kissed her goodbye again, his mind desperate to memorise every little detail of her.

But that moment of memorisation was to no avail. Because, as Tom sat with a beer and his dearest friends close by, his mind couldn’t seem to conjure up a definitive image of Zendaya. He couldn’t remember if the tips of her hair were more soft brown or blonde; if the light dimple was on the left side of her cheek or her right. He was obsessed and regardless of how much he missed his friends and family, they were no longer at the forefront of his mind. The thoughts of Zendaya were penetrating his every thought and he couldn’t seem to focus on anything else.  

In fact, he was so clouded by Zendaya’s entirety, he was sat Googling his own girlfriend. Like he had presumed, the time difference between L.A. and London was problematic and Zendaya wasn’t answering his calls. So, that only left him with one other option – stalking her online. It was like he’d been transported back to the day he’d first met her. He’d previously seen her goofy videos - singing to Beyoncé in her car- but it was after her screentest when he’d truly taken a moment to do his research on her.

But that research-based stalk wasn’t as extensive as the one he was partaking in now. At first, his stalk just consisted of pictures. It had been an amateur attempt; a simple name drop into a search engine. And as he scrolled and admired, Tom realised how crazy it was, how there was so much of Zendaya’s life that he didn’t know about. There were photoshoots from Dolce and Gabbana and Cover Girl; big projects he didn’t know his girlfriend had been so heavily invested in.

It was then that Tom’s stalker grew wider. An article had cropped up about Zendaya’s coinciding musical and fashion involvement with Vivienne Westwood and Tom couldn’t help himself. He was sat in a bar, completely anti-social, as he watched Zendaya’s ‘Close Up’ video.

Admittedly, it was his first time seeing the video and he was gobsmacked by that fact. There was his Disney Channel affiliated girlfriend with smouldering eyes and wet clothes, her body rocking to the beat of an avidly sexual song – her song. Her hands roamed her body, her fingers playfully knocking off the sleeve of her dress and Tom felt his mouth go dry. Slyly yet skilfully, at the end of the video, Tom had his knees pulled close to his chest; a feeble attempt at hiding his now raging boner from his little brother sat next to him.

From then onwards, it was a downward spiral. YouTube’s automatic playback feature was on and Tom was helplessly compelled to watch video after video.

Up next on his list was a video that featured him – it was from the Spider-Man: Homecoming press tour and Tom inwardly cringed once he noticed the exact video he was watching. It was a day that had consisted of great damage control. He and Zendaya had been in the early stages of their relationship, at the time, and he’d thought he’d been sly when he’d mumbled how ‘prepared’ and ‘pretty’ she looked. The compliment had been instinctive, and he thought nobody would catch on. But, once people began to analyse his every word and move, Tom truly realised how his life was about to change. It was the moment that the light bulb went off over his head and he realised that all of this was real. No longer was he Thomas Stanley Holland, the little boy from Kingston, he was Tom Holland, the actor, the person whose every little detail was scrutinised – including his love life. It was safe to say, that interview had catalysed the media obsession with the label behind Tom and Zendaya’s relationship.

The video Tom watched after that one was an interview, a recent one – The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon. She was dressed in that all black and red ensemble with a huge slit up her leg. The interview did nothing to help diminish how turned on Tom was but, it did make him smile too. Unlike some people he had had to face in the industry, unbiasedly, Zendaya didn’t have to uphold a façade when in front of the camera. She was herself, cracking jokes and making people laugh.

And that naturally funny character was translated in the compilation of her old Snapchat videos. As Tom had learnt over the course of their relationship, Zendaya was a terrible driver and that was embodied through the Snapchat series of videos that she’d posted when she’d gotten her car stuck hanging off the sidewalk. He watched the videos with a great fondness, his smile reaching his eyes as she stubbornly tried to fight her mum who was the least bit impressed.

Others who also weren’t impressed were Haz, Harry and Tuwaine. They’d brought Tom out to spend some time with them and he’d spent the majority of the night sat in the corner on his phone. His eyebrows would pull together occasionally, and a stupidly bright grin was plastered across his face, a tell-tale sign of him thinking about Zendaya.  

“Yo, Tom.” Tuwaine threw a screwed-up piece of tissue at him, the thing landing smack bang in his face. Tom glanced up from the Versace on the Floor video unenthusiastically and jokingly scowled as he noticed Tuwaine filming him for his Instagram story. “What are you thinking so hard about?”

“I think I might head back to L.A. a little sooner.” Tom tried to play his comment off casually, but his friends were quick to catch on.

“Oh! And why is that?” Haz mocked, his chin resting on his hand as he tried to look greatly interested in the question he already knew the answer to.

“I know, I know. Pick me, pick me!” Harry raised his arm in the air and eagerly pestered Harrison as if he were a child at school, begging to answer a question in class. Harrison just nodded, the chuckles leaving Tuwaine whole heartedly. “Because his girlfriend looks like this.”

Harry turned his phone around slowly to show off Zendaya’s new collaboration photoshoot with the clothing brand, Boohoo and Tom’s jaw hit the floor. She was beautiful, so beautiful it was hard registering the fact that she was his. And within seconds, his erection was back at it again. He snatched Harry’s phone out of his hand and scrolled through the handful of shots – why hadn’t Zendaya sent him the pictures herself? Of course, he knew she was involved in the project, he just didn’t know the pictures had been released so soon. Harry showing him them was like an ambush, an ambush he had no control over. Blood was rushing to his groin and he groaned, Zendaya was sporting look after mother fucking look, her long legs and flat stomach on display.

“Shut up.” Tom whined lamely, his mind unable to think of a witty comeback. Honestly he had no leg to stand on because, it was the truth, Zendaya was definitely the only reason he was eager to head back to L.A.

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