#i remember screenshotting it from a video somewhere but idk what it was called anymore sorry :(
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Day 7 of Daily Acaster Pics!
(Source: ???)
#james acaster#daily james acaster#britcom#i actually dont know the source for thos one#i remember screenshotting it from a video somewhere but idk what it was called anymore sorry :(
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Mfkz fandom is dead but I just wanna say some things, and I honestly might delete this later, but in RUN’s (the creator of mfkz) insta there’s a few videos of him working on the sequel for the mfkz comic. I took some screenshots and videos and here’s my thoughts on them. [most of these screenshots will be very blurry, so bare with me.]
Let’s start with this one, we see lino and vinz arguing about something. Since the text is blurry AND in French I can’t really make it out and translate it. But I assume lino is going somewhere due to the duffle bag he is holding and lino going towards the city (I assume DMC). I’m sorta guessing but maybe lino is going somewhere and vinz wants to stay because they have now well paying jobs (vinz works at that place now where he cooks the steaks ((forgot what it was called lmao)) and lino works at that sushi place at the end of the comic). So vinz probably wants to stay and save up money now that they finally have better-paying jobs then before, while lino is leaving to somewhere for.....some reason.
These 3 screenshots are lowkey funny to me ngl I just love how vinz is arguing with a roach. Anyways, I assume this is taking place after lino is gone?? Bc the roach seems like he’s asking where tf lino is. Also this is just a random guess but maybe the men in black or something are back?? Vinz seems nervous tbh 🤷♀️
I’m not really sure what’s going on in this one,, maybe vinz was running away and he had to jump into water?? It seems like it, but in one of the panels he seems kinda in distressed..? Maybe with his flame it’s hard to be in water? Maybe it hurts him? Idk idk
This is a post from RUN’s insta from 2018,,,it’s just a piece of art but if you look at the bottom of vinz feet there’s no water touching him, but just surrounding him. So maybe he really can’t touch water?
Then there’s this photo, it seems like we’re gonna get a lot of backstory from the sequel. Since we already know that lino and vinz grown up in an orphanage, so we might get a lot of scenes for that which I’m excited about. Although this image is pretty self explanatory, it’s just outta context. On the very top panels someone (I assume an adult) is scolding them. I think lino might’ve gotten into a fight and so has vinz (with other kids), since they’re both on the floor and lino looks beat up while vinz jaw came off, AND lino is helping vinz off the floor.
This video.......Brings up a lot of questions to me. Someone (another kid at the orphanage) seems to be protecting lino (from bullies I assume??) and........is the boy vinz??? If not who is he?? I have no idea tbh I’m just guessing at this point.
Then there’s THIS photo, I’m taking a guess and saying that’s vinz, idk idk
So they end up getting reunited, and there’s other screenshots sorta proving that (I’m just using the ones that seem more interesting) and I remember seeing a photo of them being in Las Vegas, but I can’t find that photo anymore so 💔
Ok I’m done with the screenshots now, I just took the ones that seemed the most interesting to me, but there’s a lot more on RUN’s [@/777run] insta. I’m honestly excited for anything to happen so yea, these were just my thoughts
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Auto Berserk Rambling Pt.1
Alright what I’m rambling about today is the Transformers G1 episode Auto Berserk, aka the episode that introduced me to Red Alert and got me absolutely hooked on his character! This rambling will include me talking about little details, my thoughts on the episode and what happens during it, and, as always, pictures!!! Fair warning, this is a very long post so I’m putting a Read More line on it so you guys don’t have to scroll through this all (also a 2 parter because it’s too long for a single post, lol). Now let’s begin!
First off…Soundwave. My dude. My cassetticon-carrying man.The Decepticon logo on the front gives away your disguise.
.
Like I have no idea how this fooled anyone but go off, I guess.
Dude looks so shook after going to grab a tape recorder that wasn’t even his and it turned into a giant robot in front of his eyes, like this is what you get for trying to claim some random tape recorder as your own, no mixtapes for you.
Moving on.
Red Alert that is one serious light show you’ve got going on. Now we know those are sensors for him (he mentions it in Blaster Blues before getting shot at by the Decepticons I’m pretty sure) and I remember reading somewhere that he has enhanced sensors (I know for sure in MTMTE he has enhanced hearing, I don’t entirely know about his other senses though), and I like the idea that the little sensory horns he’s got spark when either an alarm is being tripped or he’s detecting danger of some kind, or when he’s dealing with sensory overload. Here it would be the first for sure since Soundwave’s just hanging out.
Alright, oh boy, we’re about to get into part of what causes the main conflict of the episode.
Inferno leaving Red Alert when he was supposed to be his backup.
Now, I’ve got mixed feelings on this. On the one hand, Inferno saves Optimus and gets Rumble out of the Negavator, which helps them win the fight. He also didn’t want to stay in the bunker, he wanted to go out and fight, but Red had him stay. On the other hand, he literally left Red alone in there, to guard a bunker and the controls for the Negavator by himself, and him leaving Red is what leads to Red thinking Inferno betrayed him once his logic chips aren’t working anymore, which lead to the idea that the other Autobots were out to get him. Inferno couldn’t have known that would happen though, so we can’t really blame him for that part. Personally I think Inferno should have stayed, but it’s a complicated situation.
They argue about it for a bit but eventually Inferno just leaves. Maybe he should have yelled out that he was leaving as he was leaving, or did something so Red knew for sure that he was leaving, but instead Red was just left confused as to where Inferno was after getting injured by the missile, which sucks.
Press F to pay respects.
Ok theory time: So Red’s sensors are sparking like mad here, probably since he was just caught in an explosion it’s a combination of malfunctioning and being in a dangerous situation. They’re sparking like mad and he was just caught in a literal explosion, which no doubt caused damage, so I think it’s a combination of his sensory horns sparking too much and the damage from the explosion that fried his logic chips. Plus there’s the red effect underneath his eyes that starts up just after the screenshot above.
(I’m sorry if you can’t see it too well, it’s the episode quality but I swear it’s there.) I think that might have been a visual representation that at that point, his logic chips were toast, so it wasn’t the initial blast that took them offline, it was something afterwards, so the idea of it being a combination of the blast and his sensory horns sparking too much could work.
And then everything goes downhill from there.
Ok there is just….so much I have to say about this bit. First off, it’s when Red’s delusions start. He feels like Inferno betrayed him, ok, that’s valid considering Inferno just left, but then he says “why can’t anyone see it, Inferno wants my job!” which…doesn’t make a lot of sense, but his logic chips are toast at this point, there’s going to be leaps in logic and delusions don’t make sense a lot of the time (I could be wrong, my own knowledge of delusions is limited to what I’ve learned on my own over the years). Then when Optimus says that “it’s too dangerous to remain here”, Red’s convinced that “Optimus wants me out of the way too, it’s a plot!”, so now instead of just thinking Inferno’s out to get him, so does Optimus, and there’s an entire plot to get rid of him, which we know isn’t true, but it’s what Red believes.
This is when things start to get worse for Red.
Now let’s talk about why the heckity-heck Optimus doesn’t push for Red to see Hoist or any other medical bot we’ve seen on the show (Hoist is the only one in the episode though). Like Red was just caught in a literal explosion, Optimus saw Red Alert’s sensory horns spark just because he was getting worked up (cue my headcanon that when Red has panic attacks his can cause his sensory horns to spark), and heard Red say “it’s just an electro-glitch that comes and goes, comes and goes”, the last part of which was said in the exact same tone and cadence as the first time he said that! Like there’s multiple signs that something could be wrong, and at the very least since he was caught in an explosion, Red should be getting checked over.
But no. Instead things get worse. I’m just saying, if Red had gotten checked over, maybe they could have discovered that his logic chips were damaged before they nearly exploded.
Ok. Moving on.
:( This is also the only time where we see that his sensory horns sparking can actually cause him pain, like it might be a combination of them sparking on how his logic chips are damaged, but I think that sometimes when he’s overwhelmed or convinced there’s danger, they can spark to the point of causing him pain. Either way, it’s still a :( moment.
Ok. Here’s another bit that bugs me.
Optimus: Red Alert, analyze that noise. Red Alert: Noise? What noise? All clear.
Like. COME ON YOU GUYS, YOU JUST SAW THE ROCKS HIT THE GROUND IN FRONT OF YOU AND IT’S WHY YOU STOPPED, YOU HEARD THE NOISE, WHY AREN’T YOU QUESTIONING WHY RED’S JUST LIKE “Noise? There was a noise? Idk what you’re talking about, I didn’t hear anything.” WHEN RED ALERT POSSIBLY HAS THE BEST HEARING OUT OF ALL OF YOU. COME ON, WHY AREN’T YOU QUESTIONING THIS????? (Also, for context if you haven’t seen the episode, while Red’s saying his bit, there’s more of those sparks and we hear electrical noises, so I think it’s implied that the damage made it so he either didn’t hear the noise or just made him forget about it immediately.)
F to Optimus and Ironhide, RIP in pieces my dudes.
Anyways, Decepticons attack, there’s confusion, and Red gets hit, which damages him even further, and he’s basically stuck halfway transformed with smoke coming from him for part of the battle and then I guess stunned during the rest since we just see him sitting on the ground at one point.
This is just the Red Alert Suffers Episode, huh.
The battle itself is hilarious though, like you’ve got Decepticons saying nonsense (Smokescreen lands some shots at them so they’re saying stuff like “hey, my circuits electric blew just out” “too mine, I’m blind flying” “away move, before collide we—” (….I have that memorized. Why do I have that memorized?), Smokescreen living up to his name, and Megatron realizing that “I’ve got morons on my team!” (we’re in season 2 of the show my dude, it’s about time you realized that. Also I remember the episode where you got drunk with the rest of them and proceeded to pass the heck out, you ain’t special. Edit: Ok that’s literally in the next episode, lol, I guess Megatron realized “hey, we’re all morons here, yolo”)
And now…oh man do I have a lot to say about this bit. I’m going to include dialogue too.
Optimus (talking about the Decepticon attack): Red Alert, why didn’t you warn us? Red, backing away: You want to get rid of me, just like the others do. Optimus: Hmmm, you’re more damaged than I thought. Red, still backing away: There’s nothing wrong with me. Optimus: Red Alert needs a complete overhaul. [Hoist and Inferno begin to approach Red, Red’s still backing away and now his horns are sparking] Hoist: Your logic and reason circuits are fried. Inferno: You need immediate repairs! Red: Don’t give me any of that, you just want to disassemble me for spare parts! [backs up into the wall] Never! I won’t let you! [runs at them, knocking Hoist and Inferno to the ground, and runs off] Inferno: Wait! Hoist: We’re your friends! Optimus: Quickly, we must rescue him before he makes his condition worse! [Autobots chase after Red, calling after him]
So it’s just like…man, they just…really didn’t handle this situation well. The entire time, throughout this entire exchange, Red is scared. He’s backing away from the others the entire time, trying to put some distance between them because he doesn’t feel safe. When Inferno and Hoist start approaching him, his horns start sparking because he’s detecting danger and that danger is Hoist and Inferno. He’s absolutely terrified that they’re going to hurt him, to get rid of him, to “disassemble him for spare parts”, and what do they do? They keep approaching, talk about how “he needs to be fixed”, and don’t listen to him or see how scared he is at all.
Now, if you don’t get why Red’s so scared, don’t get why he’s running from his friends and should “just realize he’s not thinking straight” or something like that, let me put it this way: Say you’re playing a video game, you’ve got allies, you’ve got bad guys, and you’ve made a lot of progress in this game and trust your allies to help you out. But then! Surprise plot twist! Your allies are actually planning on betraying you, so now you have to escape before they catch you! You’d feel betrayed, right? While playing this level you’d feel scared, or at least nervous, whenever any of them started to get close to catching you, right? You’d want to get away as quickly as possible, right? Well that’s kinda what it’s like for Red right now. Only it’s not a game, for him it’s real, and that makes it absolutely terrifying. (It’s not a perfect metaphor or whatever but it’s the best I’ve got, hopefully you get the point). Anyways, just the way they handled this situation wasn’t very good. They didn’t listen to Red at all, they continuously mentioned how “he needed to be fixed”, continued to approach him, and when he ran off they chased after him, still yelling about “how he needs help”. There’s multiple things they did wrong here, and all of it led to Red running off. Also, I just want to note that Red was trying to keep his distance from them the entire time, and the only reason why he ran at Hoist and Inferno before running off was because he had literally backed into a wall and they still kept approaching. At that point he felt trapped and that’s when he felt he had to run. Now, I’m not entirely sure if the situation could have been de-escalated enough that Red wouldn’t have run off, but I can make suggestions for what they could have done better. 1) Gave Red his space. Literally he was backing away the entire time so he wanted space, and potentially this could have stopped him from running off since if they did this then maybe he wouldn’t have backed into the wall and felt cornered. 2) Had some of the other Autobots drive back to the bunker, or just somewhere else. Red Alert was seriously outnumbered and he thought they were all against him, if I was outnumbered about 7-to-1, I’d be scared too, especially with one of those bots being Optimus-freaking-Prime. Honestly having like, just Hoist, or just one single bot (not Optimus or Inferno though, they were the first few he thought were against him so that might not have worked well) try to talk calmly to Red might have made a huge difference. 3) Stop talking about fixing him. While they were right about him needing help, all that was doing was making him more and more upset, so they needed to stop talking about that and listen to what he was saying more. There’s honestly probably more stuff but I can’t think of it.
Oh my god that was a ramble and a half MOVING ON.
I feel like this could be a meme format. I don’t know what kind, but it has meme vibes. Feel free to meme, lol, just make it memeingful.
Ok we’re about halfway through so I’m cutting it off here and putting the rest in another post, it should be up shortly!
#Transformers#Red Alert#Red Alert Rambling#Transformers G1#Optimus Prime#Inferno#Hoist#Transformers Red Alert#Transformers Inferno#Transformers Optimus Prime#Transformers Hoist#Auto Berserk#Transformers Auto Berserk
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Sci-fi/Dystopian future/Danger Days/idk
Heaven’s Not About Your Reputation - Desolation Row AU. The Tipper Laws have consumed the nation; more and more freedoms are being restricted every day. After getting thrown in jail for causing a riot with their illegal punk show, My Chem decides to do the logical thing: cause even more trouble. 28k
In Repair - "Shit,“ Frank mutters, and shoves both hands through his hair. He looks around the kitchen like he’s gonna find what he should do scratched into the old linoleum, then looks back at the bot. He gnaws on his lip. Fuck it. He already knows what he’s gonna do. He’s just gotta do it.
Getting down on his knees, he braces a hand on the edge of the crate and leans over the bot. It’s dressed in a plain white tee and matching drawstring pants like an escaped mental patient. Frank rolls his neck and cracks his knuckles, shaking the ache out of them before carefully laying his palm against its cheek. He’s pretty sure his voice is steady when he says, "Activate.”
Nothing happens. Fucking shitty packaging– the thing’s busted. But Frank keeps his hand where it is, jumping a little when he feels the surge of energy beneath it. The robot’s skin goes from room temperature to lukewarm, then warm. Frank watches it open its eyes, the light behind them adjusting until they’re a pale sort of brown. It looks at him and asks, “Am I dead?” 33k
sing it for the n00bs - Gerard would be killing twice as many dracs right now if his fucking spacebar would quit sticking. (Gamer AU, wherein the Danger Days universe is an MMORPG.) 17k
I was rereading this on a bus in France with my stepsister. She asked me what I was reading and I just squirmed around in my seat. So she shouted “FANFICTION??” And I was like … Well, I mean, yes–but hear me out!! And so I told her about Danger Days, the Killjoys and the whole gamer au concept.
She actually thought it sounded pretty cool. Or maybe she just wanted me to quit gushing about it and leave her alone.
The point is, if someone who just heard a second-rate description of this fic still thought it sounded interesting, that means it’s HELLA RAD. And it is. So. Read it.
The Way They Fly - Frank is a robot. He is in love with his genius creator, Gerard, who doesn’t realize that Frank is capable of real feelings. Frank starts breaking down, getting ill, and Gerard doesn’t know what to do to fix it - all his methods are completely useless, none of the programming explains why this is happening to his Frank - but it’s because Frank has a broken heart. 17k
Of Another Kind - Gerard is an alien on a mission–to find a human mate on Earth. He’s decided on Frank Iero, but his database doesn’t give him all the facts he needs to win over his future companion, and there are just some things he will have to learn on his own. 17k
Let The Darkness Lead You Home - Vampires are in charge and most of the humans on earth are prey, so Frank Iero’s parents have him train as a cyber tech to protect him. Leaving the family he’s born into may have saved his life, but his parents never could have expected the lengths he’d go to in order to find a new family to call home. 49k
The Chasing of Moons - The biggest dilemma in all of this is that Frank slept with his future husband. Now Frank’s just got to make sure that the future with him stays intact, but it’s not so easy when present day Gerard seems to hate his guts. 110k
Might I Have a Bit of Earth - Gerard took things. He didn’t used to take things; he used to ask before, say please and may I and other things his parents taught him, because that was what you did. You didn’t just take. 14k
Space pirates :D !!
Are You Broken? (from the Robot!Gerard series) - Frank gets sick and Gerard doesn’t understand. <1k (the series is 7k)
Lovely Way to Burn - Frank is no stranger to sickness. He’s been wheezing his way in and out of hospitals since he was a kid, but things are different now. He was already pulled from two assignments due to illness, and the third time is the charm. Three strikes and you’re out. 4k
video girl - This is a space AU that has more random worldbuilding than actual porn in it. In which Frank wanders into a virtual sex video booth. 1k
Reaching Through The Mirror - The one where Party Poison and Basement!Gerard have sex. 5k
(part one of Time Travel ‘verse)
James Cameron Got It Wrong - In which 2005!Frank and Fun Ghoul get it on. Then Frank accidentally winds up in 2019. 56k
(part two of Time Travel ‘verse)
yoooo i just found some really really REALLY good fanart. .. unbelievably good. and six years after the fic came out! that’s amazing!! anyway, here it is.
EDIT #2: found some more! Man, that fic just keeps giving.
EDIT #3: Damn it, the artist’s blog (second one) is marked as having “sensitive content”, so I couldn’t view it anymore on this account. So here is the post reblogged on a sfw blog for y’all youngins, and here is a screenshot juuust in case the sfw blog deactivates and that link stops working, too.
The Science of Sleep - It’s 2011 and Frank Iero’s life is pretty average until the night where he starts getting dreams about a strange, apocalyptic California where there’s rayguns, grey corporations and terrorists who use art and color as a weapon. Interesting and fun at first, but the more he dreams about this world, the more he starts to wonder if it really is a dream… and the deeper he gets into this futuristic world, the more it seems to affect his life in the present day.
And just how exactly does everything all seem to link in with that douchebag black-haired artist who sits in Starbucks every day?
(Set in the Danger Days world but not necessarily following the cannon established by the album and music video’s.) 93k
Killjoys Never Die - No description. 2k
i want to die i want to die i want to die
Up Against Your Will (HERE is the chapter index) - Stepping into a world so different from their own, Frank and Gerard struggle to survive. 18 chapters
this was amazing, but also hard to read in some parts, bc of the non con and gore :/ not my cup of tea, but I did love the word building and the fic overall.
Fogs, Sheets and Thunder - Not as grey as it seems. A post-apocalyptic postal service AU. 5k
And ze art!
The World Famous Extraterrestial Diner - Sure the menu had a picture of literally everything in it, causing the menu itself to be ten pages in total, but that was for the foreign visitors. And not just the ones from other countries, according to the owners.Gerard worked at a diner located directly on the famous ‘extraterrestrial highway’. The pictures were more for if any actual aliens ever came by Earth for a good meal and couldn’t speak English. They had the pictures to see exactly what was on offer. Even the beverages had their own separate pictures.Not that they had had any extraterrestial visitors since, like, ever. 8k
Born to Motorbabies - Here's the thing with having a crush on a mysterious DJ; it's kind of an inconvenient place to hang your affections. 12k
The person who’s rec list i snagged this from (can’t remember who, sorry!) added “affectionately referred to as the dishwasher fic” which is v cute so I’m putting it here too.
...the weapon - Tattoos are one of the ways they measure out the time between getting ghosted. Inspired by Art is... 0.2k
Code Red - In the fall out of a fire fight, Party Poison goes looking for medicine, and finds pretty much the exact opposite of that. 2k Ship: Party Poison/Korse
Workplace Appropriate Attire - Korse is a creepy boyfriend. 1k
Ship: Party Poison/Korse
This was fun to read, but some lines made me go OH SHIT, because ...... well if you read this you will know what I’m talking about.
We Got Machines - There are questions on the lips of everyone with eyes or money on the arena. Who is this kid? Where’d he come from? Who trained him? BLind’s got no records on him, meaning he’s a Zonebrat returning to the grasp of the city of his own volition. Another anomaly. That a 16 year old nobody could waltz in out of nowhere and turn the system on its head is... concerning to BLind. <1k
Part 1 of KJ/Griefers 'verse (3.5k in total)
Ship: Deadmau5/G3rard
xoxoxoxo - Party Poison wakes up somewhere he's never been - but there's plenty that's familiar here. 1k
Ship: Party Poison/Korse
Looking for Satellites - Galaxy-hopping alien trader Gerard has business on space station Perseus Four. Getting to know station administrator Grant is a nice bonus. 25k Ship: Gerard/Grant Gerard is a sexy, telepathic and open minded (heh) alien and it’s great.
the only hope for me - Korse has never been one to show his emotions. 1k Ship: Korse/Party Poison
your kicks don't hit, so we remain the same - a battery city ambush goes somewhat wrong. korsepoison. 0.8k Ship: Korse/Party Poison
Methane Skies - Run, run, bunny, run. 3k
Hot damn this is some creepy and suspenseful stuff. Ship: (implied) Korse/Party Poison
mutilate, maim and destroy (just a tad) - For clarification, this fic is about Gerard Way the actual person being tortured by Korse in the Killjoys universe. Like. Hnng, you'll see nevermind. Ship: Gerard/Korse
A Room Full Of Suicides - His jaw was clenched and his whole body quivering. He looked right at Korse with those huge, transparent eyes. “Do what you want to me. I don’t give a shit, Korse.” He drew in a breath that shook. “You wouldn’t understand. It’s about standing up for what you believe in.” God, the kid was adorable. Korse couldn’t wait to make him scream. 4k Ship: Korse/Party Poison, Fun Ghoul/Party Poison (implied)
Of All the Places in the Universe - Gerard, an alien with a severe case of anomie and wanderlust, crash-lands in Jersey while traveling the galaxy. A chance meeting with a creature his studies had told him didn't exist leads to a surprising turn of events. With time, Gerard comes to call Earth home, and finds love with the adorable punk who found him--Frank, an energetic puppy of a werewolf who's really more bark than bite. 30k
"You know The Smiths?"
Gerard grinned. "Oh, yes! They're one of my favorite Earth bands."
Thank You For The - Just an alien in New Jersey, looking for a mate. 0.5k Ship: Gabe Saporta/Mikey Way
"Have fun," Gerard said, even though he'd just told Mikey he couldn't have fun because he needed to be careful. Mikey wished his venom sacs were fully developed. He would spit on Gerard's shoes.
Double Exposure - “The worst part was the confession. Well, the explanation sucked too.” Written for prompt 38. Frank/Mikey - Frank and Mikey bodyswap during tour and have to play shows as each other. 2.5k
Frank isn’t part italian in this fic. He’s part alien! :D Ship: Frank/Mikey
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Gonna Take Ya (Away From Harm)
Word Count: 2340
Genre: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort
Warnings: crying, parents yelling at their kids, emotionally abusive parents (not sure about this one, but just in case)
Summary:
Dan has a shitty night and Phil makes it better. Set in 2009, sometime before October.
A/N I’ll be getting busier throughout the next few weeks, but I’ll try to keep fics consistent.
Dan tries to pretend like it doesn’t bother him when his parents start making ever so subtly snide comments about his relatives. He doesn’t quite understand why they would – the relatives in question all seem nice enough, but apparently not.
Even so, what his parents are saying shouldn’t affect him like that. Yet it does. Dan knows that it has nothing to do with him but at the same time… He’s all too familiar with the insult-that-could-pass-as-a-joke routine. His family – both immediate and distant – enjoyed talking about him as if he wasn’t there. Dan gets it; he’s lazy, has gotten fired for his own stupidity at all jobs he has ever worked at and to top it all off, he has recently dumped his girlfriend of three years. His parents are under the impression that she dumped him. (He doesn’t say anything, just sits there as they joke about it.)
Most of the time he fades into the background during family events. He understands that he’s a pretty easy target. That doesn’t make it hurt any less though.
Instead of saying anything in defence, like he knows he should, Dan casts his eyes downward and grips his fork tighter. The conversation quickly moves on and he almost forgets it. He almost lets himself believe that nothing else will go wrong tonight.
-
Dan races to his room, fighting the urge to slam his door shut, because he knows it’ll only make things worse. He’s about to cry, he can feel it, but he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t like the fact that he’s going to cry over the stupid shit his family says. He doesn’t like that he’s proving his parents’ “too sensitive” argument they bring up every time he has the audacity to not like being yelled at.
Most of all, he doesn’t like crying. His mum might see, and he knows she’ll come in if she does and tell him to toughen up – obviously more sugar coated – in a soothing voice and he’ll accept. That’s just what he does. So instead of going out and pretending that he’s fine, Dan wraps his blankets around him tighter, furiously wipes his tears that have just started and closes his eyes. He hears his parents having fun and joking around outside, unaware that he’s currently bawling over how much of a disappointment he is to them. He chucks a pillow over his head for good measure.
-
The next thing he knows is that he’s waking up at 1am in uncomfortable jeans and a sweaty shirt.
He immediately shuffles out of them, chucks the offending articles of clothing somewhere in his room and tries to sleep. Surprise, he doesn’t.
After a few more minutes of tossing and turning, Dan gives in and pulls out his laptop from where it is under his bed and turns it on. It’s there in case he steps on it, which he has never done. (It’s actually there because his dad got mad at him for leaving it lying around and yelled at him until he moved it.)
He chews his lip while it takes forever to boot up. Every part of his body is screaming to call Phil, to hear his voice. Dan can’t do that, though. He has a feeling that as soon as Phil asks what’s wrong – and he will – Dan will break down. He can’t have that. Not now, not over his family, not in front of Phil.
The Windows loading thing that Dan never learnt the name over is replaced by his desktop background, which is most certainly not a screenshot of Phil that he captured during one of their Skype sessions. He frowns and weighs the pros and cons of calling as his mouse hovers over the Skype logo. All it takes is the memory of the disaster dinner filling the silent house for him to open it up.
Unsurprisingly, Phil’s offline. It is 1am after all, what did Dan even expect? He doesn’t know why, but this crushes him. It makes everything seem a billion times worse. He just wants to see Phil’s smile, to hear his voice. He just wants Phil to tell him everything will be okay.
Dan’s trying not to sob again. He’s tired and emotional and has no impulse control, so he sends Phil a text via his phone. He chucks the phone away a few seconds later, knowing that there’s no point staring at it and waiting for an answer. He jumps and barely stops a scream when a loud ding rings throughout the room.
(He swears that he didn’t scramble across his room to get his phone and fall off his bed in an ungraceful pile of blankets.)
DAN – 1:12am hey, you up?
PHIL – 1:15am Took a while, but I am now! Are you alright? <3
Dan almost started crying again. Phil picked up on his mood straight away. Okay, maybe texting someone at 1am was a dead giveaway that everything was most certainly not fine, but Dan couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming rush of gratitude to his best friend.
DAN – 1:15am yeah
DAN – 1:15am it’s just, sometimes i can actually convince myself that people care
PHIL – 1:15am I care :(
DAN – 1:16am
i know, i know. i know that people care, but then a night like this happens and i can’t even imagine that anybody would care if i died.
PHIL – 1:18am Dan, answer my calls. Or at least skype me <3
DAN – 1:18am can’t, sorry…
PHIL – 1:19am Why not? What happened? Are you sure you’re okay????
DAN – 1:21am …i swear i’m physically okay
PHIL – 1:21am ?
DAN – 1:21am i’m a sobbing mess right now
PHIL – 1:21am Why? :(
DAN – 1:23am idk, i’m just so upset phil. it’s like nothing i ever do is good enough for them and idk… said that twice oops
DAN – 1:24am also the other reason we can’t skype is because everyone’s asleep and i don’t want to wake them up. my dad would probably barge in and start yelling at me again >_<
PHIL – 1:24am He yelled at you?!
DAN – 1:26am don’t worry i was just being stupid and spilt water everywhere while i was trying to clear the table. i fuckup everything haha
PHIL – 1:26am You’re not stupid! None of that’s your fault and don’t you dare say you’re a fuckup ever again.
DAN – 1:30am i know, i think. get this though – i completely forgot about the mess and putting away the leftovers (literally mostly what my job is lol) and went to my room to cry so he told my brother to tell me to “clean up the mess i made”
DAN – 1:31am like i’m so dumb dad actually had to tell my bro to tell me so i got the message O.o
PHIL – 1:32am Dan…
PHIL – 1:32am Can I please call you? <3
DAN – 1:33am …fine. on skype? no video tho soz <3
Dan switches off his phone with a sigh and looks back at his laptop. It’s an old one and after twenty minutes of being on, it’s whirring dangerously. Dan is pretty sure it’s not supposed to be doing that, but he wants nothing more in the world to see Phil right now, so he dismisses it. This time, when he checks Skype, there’s a green tick next to Phil’s contact. And a new message.
PHIL – 1:40am Am I still able to call?
Dan smiles. He loves the way Phil always makes sure he’s okay with stuff. His sleep-addled brain can’t really form words to express how it feels other than warm, but that’s okay, because he doesn’t need that right now. He needs Phil.
DAN – 1:40am please.
PHIL IS CALLING.
Dan takes a deep breath and rubs his eyes a final time. They’re still wet and he knows they’re red but he doesn’t care that much anymore. He accepts, making sure to turn off the camera.
“Hey, Dan!” Phil’s sleepy but somehow cheery voice chirps as the pixels that are supposed to resemble Phil take up Dan’s screen. Phil doesn’t have his light on, but his face is dimly lit from his own laptop. Dan wishes he could see more than black and grey chunks.
“H-hey,” he croaks out, then clears his throat. He’s so quiet that Dan’s not sure if Phil even heard him. He did.
The pixels move around a bit and suddenly everything is much brighter, making Dan squint. When he fully opens his eyes, he sees Phil frowning worriedly. He also sees the colourful bed sheets Dan has grown accustom to seeing, Phil’s toy lion and the edge of his wardrobe. The familiar scenery relaxes Dan and makes him feel at home.
“You okay?” Phil asks.
Dan knows that there’s no point in lying, because Phil knows him. He nods anyway. Then he realises that he doesn’t have video on and that he’s gotten used to video Skype calls with Phil. Dan sighs, contemplating whether or not to turn video on when he remembers that Phil asked him something.
“What?” Dan says dumbly, before recalling the question. “Oh- yeah, I’m fine.” He says it in such a resigned voice that there’s no way Phil will believe him now.
There’s an uncomfortable silence. Dan watches as Phil moves around on his bed a bit, then open his mouth only to shut it again. Phil does this quite a few times before he finally says anything.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Phil’s voice is gentle. Dan is half-tempted to. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but at the very least, could you turn on your video? Just so I know you’re okay.”
Dan knows that if he does turn on his camera, there’s no way he can tell Phil what happened without breaking down embarrassingly, and as he stated before, he most certainly did not want Phil to witness that.
He agrees and clicks on the camera button, not before messing around with his hair until he decides that nothing can be done about the curly mess on his head at the moment.
It takes a few seconds for his laptop and Skype to process the request. In those few seconds, Dan realises just how shitty he probably looks. He had fallen asleep crying and woken up forty minutes ago, his hair is a mess, his eyes are red and his cheeks are blotchy. He realises with horror that he’s also just in his boxers.
It’s too late for him to back out now because the box with the three, maybe four, pixels that are supposed to represent him is in the corner of the screen, meaning Phil can (kind of) see him.
“Hey,” Dan says lamely, then cringes because he’s already said that.
Phil shuffles closer to the screen. “Hello,” he grins, easing Dan’s nerves slightly. “I can’t really see you that much, can you turn on your light?”
Dan almost slaps himself in the forehead right then and there. Obviously Phil can’t see him. “Right, sorry, I’m such an idiot.” He forces a laugh as he reaches over and flicks the light switch. The bright light floods the room immediately, making Dan blink.
Once he can actually focus on things without seeing spots dance across his vision, he turns back to Phil. Dan notices that he’s being uncharacteristically quiet, like he’s thinking about something. Dan doesn’t push it.
“Sorry about my lack of clothes. I fell asleep in the ones I wore today and felt gross when I woke up. I honestly forgot about it until now,” he rambles.
Phil laughs. “Right,” he grins, winking. Dan blushes.
“So, how was your day?” He cringes at how awkward and forced the question sounds.
“Pretty good. My brother visited and my parents took me and him out to some fancy restaurant. Although, it did end up in us getting kicked out.” Phil laughs again, making Dan crack a smile.
“How’d you manage that?” He asks, incredulous.
“Well, it started with us seeing a goose dish on the menu...” Phil continues his storytelling and soon, Dan forgets why they started the call in the first place.
-
It’s only when Dan starts to yawn do they realise how late/early it is. They had been talking for over three hours. It may not seem like a lot, but considering they had both woken up at one and it being roughly five now, they’re entitled to feel tired.
Phil offers to leave, but something in Dan’s expression convinces him to stay just a little longer.
“You know,” Phil says, out of the blue. Dan’s droopy eyes open slightly, so Phil knows he’s listening. “I’ve been thinking. We’ve known each other for a few months now and you’re like my best friend, so I was wondering if you’d like to come over sometime? I could buy the tickets if you didn’t have the money. You would also be able to escape your parents…” He trails off nervously.
“Mmm,” Dan mumbles, not really conscious enough to comprehend anything. His brain takes a while to process what he just heard, but as soon as it does, he’s suddenly wide awake. “Wait, are you serious?”
Phil nods while his hands fiddle with each other in his lap.
“Yes! That would be the best thing ever, I’d love to come to Manchester!” Dan’s smiling so wide it hurts, but he can’t bring himself to stop.
Phil lets out a relieved sigh. “Thank god. I thought you were going to say no.”
“I’d never,” Dan swears. He’s never been more honest about something in his life.
Phil smiles. “How about we talk about this in the morning? Well, later in the morning. You should get some sleep.”
“So should you.”
“Oh, hush.”
Dan’s the first to fall asleep. Phil admires how peaceful he looks for a few minutes before deciding that he should also go to bed. With a sigh, he ends the call and turns off his laptop, making a mental note to look into tickets to Manchester tomorrow.
A/N Got really emotional last week and started writing this. On a lighter note, I got out of first period halfway in and went to the doctor (dehydration, it was fine) yesterday so that was cool. (Pun not intended.)
#phanfiction#phanfic#phandom#phan#yikes the ending seems forced#whoops#people from school are trying to find my account again#they suck at it#now time for the tags to promote my stuff#fluff#angst#hurt/comfort#crying#emotional abuse#tw; emotional abuse#2009
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@blissfulbees
notebooks
keys
pencil case
perfume
water bottle
Five Things In My Bedroom:
a bed lmao
wall stickers and frames
a huge box containing all of my colors, brushes, markers, and the junk i use for drawing, painting, and making crafts
a jewelry box
LOTS of books, novels, and textbooks
Five Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do In My Life:
go out whenever i want
learn other languages
travel around the world
travel to outer space!
hold a gun and brandish a sword lmao
Five Things That Make Me Happy:
internet
my collection of books (… and mangas and illustration books)
lance :’)
friends
ice cream
Five Things On My To-Do List:
study harder
learn how to draw better
learn how to put makeup
visit a friend’s house for a movie night
catch up with some shows, manga, and anime
Five Things People May Not Know About Me:
i don’t like ginger or any food that contains it
i don’t like kids but somehow kids are really fond of me? idk how that even works
i don’t like cooking either even though i’m pretty good at it
i don’t know how to dance
i love physics and astronomy sm
Name?: rawan
Nicknames?: ru, and many others
Zodiac?: virgo
Sexual Orientation?: asexual
Ethnicity?: uh… somewhere between arabic and caucasian i guess?
Favorite Fruit?: basically everything but red and yellow apples
Favorite Season?: winter
Favorite Flower?: hydrangeas
Favorite Scent?: the smell of book pages and fruit-scented perfumes
Favorite Animal?: snakes, killer whales, and sharks
Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate?: hot chocolate
Cat or dog?: cats
Dream Trip?: outer space lmao
Number of Followers?: 🤷
What do I post about?: random stuff
Do I get asks on a regular basis?: depends i guess?
Favorite Band?: starset and owl city
Aesthetic?: a lot of stuff. mainly things related to space, middle ages, or winter…
Fictional Character I’d Date?: lance lance lance lance lance lance lance
Hogwarts House?: ravenclaw
Rules: BOLD the statements that are true for you!
APPEARANCE:
I am 5'7" or taller
I wear glasses
I have at least one tattoo
I have at least one piercing
I have blonde hair
I have brown eyes
I have short hair
My abs are at least somewhat defined
I have or have had braces
PERSONALITY:
I love meeting new people
People tell me that I’m funny
Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me
I enjoy physical challenges
I enjoy mental chanllenges
I’m playfully rude with people I know well
I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it
There is something I would change about my personality
ABILITY:
I can sing well
I can play an instrument
I can do over 30 pushups without stopping
I’m a fast runner
I can draw well
I have a good memory
I’m good at doing math in my head
I can hold my breath underwater for under a minute
I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling
I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch
I know how to throw a proper punch
HOBBIES:
I enjoy playing sports
I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else
I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else
I have learned a new song in the past week
I work out at least once a week
I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months
I have drawn something in the past month
I enjoy writing
FANDOMS ARE MY #1 PASSION
I do or have done martial arts
EXPERIENCES:
I have had my first kiss
I have had alcohol
I have scored the winning goal in a sports game
I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting
I have been at an overnight event
I have been in a taxi
I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year
I have beaten a video game in one day
I have visited another country
I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts
RELATIONSHIPS:
I’m in a relationship
I have a crush on a celebrity
I have a crush on someone I know
I have been in at least 3 relationships
I have never been in a relationship
I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them
I get crushes easily
I have had a crush on someone for over a year
I have been in a relationship for at least a year
I have had feelings for a friend
MY LIFE:
I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”
I live close at my school
My parents are still together
I have at least one sibling
I live in the united states
There is snow right now where I live
I have hung out with a friend in the past month
I have a smartphone
I have at least 15 CD’s
I share my room with someone
RANDOM SHIT:
I have breakdanced
I know a person named Jamie
I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce
I have dyed my hair
I’m listening to one song on repeat right now
I have punched someone in the past week
I know someone who has gone to jail
I have broken a bone
I have eaten a waffle today
I know what I want to do with my life
I speak at least 2 languages
I have made a new friend in the past year
Relationship status: single
Favorite color: black, pale purple, sapphire and ocean blue
Lipstick or Chapstick: chapstick
Last song I listened to: Dragon Night
Last movie I watched: haven’t watched movies in forever
Top three TV shows:
okay ima list non-anime and non-cartoon shows for this:
Brooklyn Nine Nine
BBC Sherlock
Supernatural
Top three characters:
Lance (Voltron)
Ichigo (Aikatsu)
Killua (Hunter x Hunter)
rules: copy/paste and replace my answers with yours and tag people :^)
a - age: 17
b - biggest fear: failure
c - current time: 9:30pm (this is scheduled lmao)
d - drink you last had: water
e - every day starts with: setting the alarm off f - favorite song: tbh i dunno but recently i can’t stop listening to knnw osts by radwimps and alan walker’s songs
g - ghosts, are they real: nah
h - hometown: lebanon
i - in love with: space
j - jealous of: articulate people/ people who are good at expressing themselves and using words
k - killed someone: tbh i did kill my own self-esteem and motivation to live years ago so..
l - last time you cried: i rewatched knnw today and i was bawling and squealing and wailing m - middle name: dad’s name
n - number of siblings: 2 sisters and 2 brothers
o - one wish: to jump in time to 7 years later where my soul is finally set Free p - person you last called/texted: my friend at school q - questions you’re always asked: “can’t you show any emotions at all?!?!” lmao
r - reasons to smile: lance mcclain :))))))))
s - song last sang: nandemonaiya - radwimps t - time you woke up: i woke up at 6 today, went to sleep again, then woke up at 7:45
u - underwear color: purple v - vacation destination: outer space (actually the only vacations i go on are to my homeland rip)
w - worst habit: sloth
x - x-rays you’ve had: i don’t quite remember but i think i had one when i was in 2nd grade when i broke my arm. not sure tho. i also had x-rays of my jaw/teeth multiple times too haha y - your favorite food: ice cream
z - zodiac sign: virgo
post a screenshot of my lock screen, home screen, and last song played
RULES: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions. Then tag some friends.
I choose:
boku no hero academia
voltron
gintama
The first character you loved:
i love them all that i don’t remember anymore tbh? probably deku?
lance (it was love at first sight even though i don’t even believe in it)
kagura
The character you never expected to love so much:
KACCHAN
pidge!
gintoki! i’m ready to die for him!!
The character you relate to most:
kacchan, iida, and todoroki
pidge
gintoki
The character you’d slap:
mineta T_T
lotor
takasugi
Three favorite characters (these are in order of preference):
todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki, midoriya izuku (keeping angel’s answer bc!!! SAME!!!)
LANCE, pidge, keith
gintoki, kagura, sougo
A character you liked at first but not so much anymore:
umm? idk??
i still love them all so much
zenzou
A character you did not like at first, but they’ve grown on you:
kacchan surprisingly
uhhhhhh
otae
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