#i remember one time i was having a full blown panic attack which i am not normally prone to

[goldensunset]

shoutout to songs that are good but that you can’t listen to anymore because you feel physically sick being taken back in time to whenever you first discovered them

[simlicious]

Personal update about my anxiety

Time for another personal update! At the moment, I'm not really in a creative mood and my projects are all resting.

I am working on more stuff in my real life, including cleaning/decluttering my apartment and working through an anxiety app which will hopefully get me to start exposure (though I shudder at the thought alone). The funny thing is, the app is for social anxiety, and I do have some social anxiety, but I think I mainly have agoraphobia (but there is no medical app available for this at the moment, so I took the next best thing). The app said: "Let's make a gradual steps plan, you first choose a very easy step, then one that is a little harder and harder, and so on until the hardest step comes at the top." And for the easiest step, it actually suggested one of my hardest steps: going into a store, buying something, and interacting with the cashier. Checkouts give me such anxiety. I once had a full-blown panic attack because I couldn't remember the PIN number for my credit or debit card. And I very rarely get panic attacks. Luckily, my brother was present and he was able to pay for me while I almost hyperventilated and tears were streaming down my face. Generally, I start sweating and get shaky hands which does not help while handling cards and remembering pin numbers. I get tunnel vision and cannot focus on anything that is going on around me. Sometimes, blood rushes in my ears so I have a hard time picking up whether someone is saying anything. Then, all items need to be put into bags at lightning speed, and I always fear that I am not fast enough and that everyone else in line is annoyed and angry with me and this makes me even more nervous. Putting things away with shaky hands is tough! So I send my boyfriend shopping for me or buy online most of the time. If I absolutely must, I can go shopping with one of my loved ones because I feel a tiny bit calmer and know I have a safety net with me. They can also help me put stuff in my bags. But alone? That's nightmare fuel for me. Same thing with using public transportation, I just can't do it. I also have a very hard time sitting in waiting rooms at the doctor's office, I get so tense and do not know what to do with myself. Oh, and I also have severe anxiety when I need to make a phone call 😫 But all that is seriously impacting my life, as you can imagine. And I want to change something.

Since the app is not helpful with suggestions for my gradually harder steps to take, I have to come up with my own, and it is harder than I thought! All the things I think about are really hard for me, I cannot think of less hard steps to take 😣 Even just going outside without a destination/going out by myself is also anxiety-inducing for me. I feel like I am watched all the time, I get tense and my thoughts start racing or going in circles. This also happens while I am in a store to shop for something. I get paralysed sometimes with decision fatigue and if someone else comes into the same aisle, I have the urge to run away instantly. I get so distracted that I need to spend way more time in a store than usual and this is of course not making me calmer. I am just super exhausted after going shopping! I am proud that I leave the house twice a week now to go for a walk with my best friend though. We have just established a second day of the week this year, and we still do not go twice every week, but pretty often, which is great. And I love to walk in nature, it calms me (if there aren't too many other people around). 😊 I am also making progress with my borked sleep cycle. I am a night owl 🦉, but being awake the whole night clashes a lot with my family's plans. I have tried for months to shift it, but in the last one to two weeks, I actually made real progress and went to bed 2 to 3 hours earlier than normal, which is really huge for me! I found out that there are lots of free audiobooks on YouTube that authors upload themselves. So one hour before I want to sleep, I put one on, set a shutdown timer of 60 minutes so it will turn off after that time, and then go to bed and listen to it until I fall asleep. This has motivated me enough to actually go to bed earlier.

As a result, I get more daylight and I am more inclined to do housework, which I also struggle with in general, so this is really great! I am focusing more on that now. I also started playing Subnautica again, but I can only play for a few hours on end because it can get pretty intense. I kinda want to play Sims 4 again (weird, I know). My anxiety app wants me to think more positively, so instead of thinking that it is no use updating my mods because the minute I do, another patch drops anyway and I have to start all over, I should think more positively. I will probably drop the game after playing for a day anyway, so it does not need to stay updated for long! Maybe downloading and updating mods is more fun than actually playing anyway? 😆

[jeweledstone]

More vaguely Pizza Tower related bullshit with everyone’s favorite yandere twink cunt bitch god I hate him

DATE: 10/31/2023 - 11/1/2023

Oh boy, it’s that time again folks! Time for some unhinged self-insert fan fiction-esque nonsense that’d make a wattpad user shudder in fear.

So basically, more shenanigans with Pizzahead/Totino from the hit indie game Pizza Tower and his attempts to kidnap me and turn me into Peppino cause the REAL Peppino doesn’t love him back or some shit like that. For the hopelessly confused, here’s a link to the previous dream post I made regarding this particular plot point. For everyone else, click the read more for the rest of this recounting :)

So, despite my hoping he’d just give up and start stalking someone else, ya boi is still being haunted in his dreams by the cartoon pizza man. RECENTLY he’s even gone as far as BREAKING INTO MY ACTUAL HOUSE to try and abduct me (in-dream of course, not in real life lmao)

One of his more recent appearances happened in a dream I had on Halloween night that was honestly, kinda Halloween themed outta sheer coincidence.

In it, me and my family were camping (a common theme/trope in my dreams for some reason) at this national park of sorts that was famous due to this massive cave it had in it that was EXTREMELY haunted. Like, it was very common for visitors to encounter at least one ghost (or phantom as they were called in-universe) while exploring said cave. My family was stopping to visit said cave before going home when The Bastard™ showed up. I remember he had on this sorta human disguise so my parents wouldn’t recognize him (cause again, mf tried to break into my house in previous dream). He somehow convinced them to let me go in the cave alone with him, claiming we were friends or some other bullshit, and that’s when the shit show truly began.

Now, first thing you need to know about this cave, is how massive it is. At its deepest, the cave went down to about 5000 meters (16404.2 feet for my fellow Americans) below the earth. Naturally, park guests weren’t allowed to go that deep in, you could only go about 10 meters (100 if you’re over 18) before there was some kinda blockade keeping you from going further. Aside from the obvious safety protocol stuff, another reason was because the deeper you went into the cave, the more ghosts you’d encounter, and the more aggressive said ghosts would be.

Either the ghosts or the cave itself also had these strange, reality-bending properties to it that would affect guests who stayed in the cave for a prolonged period of time. One way they liked to fuck with people was by transforming them in ways that often depended on said person’s most prominent personality trait (often causing said trait to be exaggerated as the person’s mental state changed along with thier body). Said changes were reversed once the person affected left the cave.

And…

Guess what happened to my anxiety filled ass when they got a hold of me!

Yep, back at it again with THIS BULLSHIT. Idk if this happened because of PH was there or what, but yeah. Now here I am, once again tf’d into Peppino against my will, trapped in a cave with someone who’s been obsessively stalking me for months now, and one wrong move away from a full blown panic attack. Said panic ended up happening when, at a really deep point in the cave, me and PH were cornered by some really large and threatening ghosts who were definitely planning on not letting us out of that cave alive.

I kinda-sorta blacked out around this part, but from what I could figure out, it was about then that Pep kinda… “took over” and beat the shit outta the ghosts (apparently killing a few some-fucking-how) before making a break outta the cave. I remember “waking up” outside the cave, having already changed back to normal.

After that…incident… life mostly went back to normal after my family went back home, save for some supernatural entities (which were commonplace in this verse) becoming afraid of me due to the whole killing an unkillable entity thing that happened in the cave.

So that’s basically it. I haven’t really seen much of PH since then, but I know he made it outta the cave and is still out there (unfortunately). So, yeah, that’s all folks. See ya.

[weaponsofclairvoyance]

had what i am understanding was the climax of an ongoing mental breakdown at work on thursday. morning job set it up and my night job (which was hosting the annual holiday party so my social anxiety was giving me full blown panic attacks every 2-3 hours) knocked down all the pins and also i tried to comfort a coworker in a heartfelt way but i think i just came off as an insane freak "empath" who obsessess over people she barely knows and every time i think abt it i have to bang my head against the wall so i dont KILL myself. also hilarious insight into the human psyche that i worked a 13+ hour day, in 2 different cities, with no car, which i have been doing for months, while having a stress-money-bipolar-alcoholism-sleep deprivation-related breakdown, and then was abandoned by the guy i was working with (different coworker) to finish by myself, and then did it again the next day, and im still like augh im such a lazy asshole i dont do anything if i just worked harder i wouldn't be so poor and tired and sick i dont deserve to live or eat nice foods or enjoy myself. WHATEVER. im fine now just 1 job for a couple weeks cuz no one wants to go to a metal show on xmas i guess so i get to sleep and recover and remember that i like things. i cant fucking believe how bad things are. im making labneh

[yourpalghost]

Its 3:30 am and im awake so its time to fulfill my weird guy duties and say whatever I feel like!

When I say “this weekend” I actually mean monday through wednesday! Because thats currently my work weekend. This will change once uni starts up again.

I typed more to that last paragraph and started to send myself into a spiral which would lead to a full blown panic attack and I dont want that.

If im still awake in an hour, im gonna eat a spoonful of cookie butter and no one can stop me

Also im really enjoying animorphs and got in a one sided rivalry with someone else in my library system who is also reading the animorphs because they had one of the books and I had to listen to a robot read it and pronounce words wrong so now I check out like 8 in a row and read them and continue to check out the next one as I return the finished one. To be fair I can listen to two or three a day four times a week so its not like they have to wait long but I AM petty

Today I decided I do in fact want a halmark romance but I dont want it to last. I just want some hot cowboy or lumberjack type to be smitten with me and use that word without my influence. Im a leo and I wanna be obsessed. Its my birth right. (Joking). Also I WILL settle for a dude that wears his plaids tucked in with a belt and is nice as long as hes truly stupid over me.

I have once fantasized about moving to forlks, washington whichbis a logging town SPECIFICALLY because of previously mentioned.

If you arent enjoying this rant, black list my tag “ghost chatter”

Its now 3:40 am as I write this and I remembered my sibling decided to follow me and thats a them problem.

I saw a really cool bug this weekend and muzz said it was like… some?? North American wheel bug? Or something? I refuse to open discord to check. Anyway, it looks like it would be a cool dead by daylight killer. I love them.

[nopesirthatisillegal]

My first attempt at writing anything about anything really

I find it hard to believe that my life has been abuse- my social life, nonexistent. Maybe its all from what's been drilled into me for so long- that they're only like this "because they love me" or "its for my own good".

It's currently 1:49 a.m. on March 1st, 2023. This is the first time I've had the "courage" to write anything, in the light of a little lamp in the shape of a moon.

Its hard to believe that I've become so numb inside - that the depression has come this far in me- the fact that i can't even cry- the fact that I am so ruined inside that life means almost nothing to me. If someone was to pun a gun to my head right now, the only problem I would have with it is the fact that I would leave the only person I truly love alone.

Those that i talk to tell me that my life has been abuse- not physical- although the threat was always there- but mental and emotional. I learned to keep my emotions hidden young- that meaning I got viciously yelled at when I cried when being lectured or spanked.

They tell me "you can trust us" and that I can tell them anything, but how can I do that when all they show me is how little they trust me over and over again, until I became afraid to speak of what I love on front of them for fear that that would be the next thing taken from me. I know now that they never meant it when they said that I could earn back their trust.

Recently I've become a very nervous person- or at least noticed it- especially at restaurants. I wanted to write this down in case I forget. We were waiting for a table in this very crowded Plaza Azteca (a mexican restaurant) last Saturday night, and so I was on the verge of a full blown panic attack, and I had brought in my drawing notebook to try to distract myself, not that it worked, when my father starts trying to be funny and tells me that i should draw one of the painting on the wall- I very politely told him not, i would not and continued drawing what I was drawing until my hands started to shake so badly that i was forced to stop.

My father then makes a second comment on how I should draw this painting (it was a very detailed face btw) and so I very clearly (but politely) told him no, so he got mad (he's not used to being denied) and started questioning me on why. I told him that: 1.) I did not have the time and 2.) I did not have the skill and 3.) i did not want to. After that I don't remember exactly what was said, but I do remember straight up saying "I have anxiety (which isn't like officially diagnosed but still there) and its really bad right now", and him responding with "don't give me that attitude" when I am about to start hyperventilating because there's around 20 very loud people in an area no bigger than 25 feet by 25 feet.

I also have a memory of my parents yelling at Zak (my older brother by 8 years) that depression was a sin when he had just trusted them enough to tell them, although I can't be 100% sure it actually happened, I remember it. It's now 2:53 a.m., and all I want is to not be me.

I don't trust people easily, but for those I do I would do almost anything for them not to feel like I do. But those who break that trust- I can never give it back. I might "forgive", but i can never forget, and I am ruthless in this numbness, only feeling the desire to punch- to hurt those who hurt me and Amy. I often wonder what- or who- the real monsters are- and if I am one of them.

But its 3:05 a.m., and I am out of space, so I guess its time to sleep

[fweh-rvv]

Forgotten Curse Sukuna x Curse! Reader: Chapter 7:

HHHHHHUUUUUUAAAGGGHHH!

Yuji jolted up from the cold metal table gasping for air. He whipped his head around the room and found Y/n laying on the table parallel to him. Sliding off the table he investigated his surroundings. When he was practically right over her, he called her name but she didn't respond.

The last thing I remember is dying but...I'm still here.

He lifts his hands palm up and peers down at the condition of his body.

There's still blood where he ripped my heart out. No wound though.

Yuji pressing his fingers against where his heart is feeling the warmth from his fingertips.

Still beating, still alive.

Sighing in relief he removes his hand from his chest and drops it to his side. Then a shiver shakes his whole body.

It would be great if Sukuna didn't rip my shirt apart.

He switches his focus to the curse in front of him.

Was her hair this long before? It's only a small difference, but...Is that blood on her hands?

I knew she came to stop Sukuna at the last moment but why isn't she waking up? Is she still alive?

In a panic he checks for a pulse but then stops.

Do curses even have a pulse?

He ponders and dismisses the thought.

How did we even get wherever here is? Did she bring me? But then...Where's Megumi? This is getting way too confusing.

Itadori tugs her arms and pulls her up from the table having her lean against him. He remembers her face full of such rage but now it was that of a doll. Motionless. Cold. Frozen in time. He turns around and pulls her onto his back.

He treks out of the room and sees the sign next to the door that says, 'Morgue'. Wandering, he comes across a few flights of stairs and continues his journey. He reaches the top he rounds the corner and places the curse on the floor back to the wall. He plops himself down next to her to regain his energy. He glances down at each end of the hallway, which seems endless, but he finally recognizes the lay of the land from a few windows nearby.

This is still Jujutsu High.

He rushes to pick her up again and this time he finds a door.

Finally.

He pushes the door open with his side making sure not to drop the curse. It takes him a while before he reaches the buildings he remembers.

"Itadori?" Gojo shocked pauses. "You have her with you." His voice darkens.

"Gojo-sensei? Haa...I finally found someone." Itadori sighs in relief.

"Where were you?"

"The morgue." Yuji stares at Gojo blankly.

"So that's where she took him." Gojo mutters under his breath. "It's surprising you're still alive, did you make a contract with Sukuna?"

"Not that I know of. But for some reason I feel like something isn't right." Itadori shifts in discomfort and readjusts his hold on the curse.

***

Chapter 125, I can only imagine what it feels like to see one of your closest friend's face blown off by your worst enemy.

Well, second worst enemy.

I'm starting to wonder if Mahito is neurotic. He probably is, that sick son of a bitch laughing at Itadori's misery. Making him act irrationally and fumble his next attack.

Nobara why did you have to go?

Itadori, you're huddled on the floor crying out at your own helplessness.

I'm helpless too. I know your fate yet I can't do anything to help. Just who am I?

I could re-read this series a thousand times and nothing would change. So many deaths, so much pain.

What does that leave?

Is gaining that power worth the cost of almost everyone you know dying in the process?

Todo you fought valiantly alongside Yuji but at the cost of your own cursed technique. Everyone is doing their best yet...I have to stand here watching it all happen.

If only...If...if...if...That is the one word that comes to mind.

Chapter 133, you took him. Unforgivable. Unforgivable. Unforgivable.

I think I might crush my phone at this rate.

I want to scream.

Getou I'll ruin every plan, plot, and misdeed you'll think of. Just know if I ever come to your world, and I have power you'll be the first on the chopping block.

Don't worry I'll find a fate worse than death especially for you.

Oh, as for what you did to Gojo...I'll pay you back a hundred, no a hundred-thousand times over.

I'll come up with such a maddening solution, not even you will be able to stop my plans. Not even myself.

They all need a taste of reality. The world will not revolve around them. I refuse.

Sukuna don't think for a moment that I forgot about you.

But when I look at Getou...You don't seem that troublesome anymore. I mean it's all just about killing humans, right?

That's dull.

***

"Kugisaki, there's something you need to know." Megumi shuffles to the doorway of Nobara's room out of breath.

"Fushiguro, pfft...Who the hell beat you up?" Nobara stifles a laugh but can't hold it in and she guffaws. Taking out her phone she makes the best of this scarce opportunity and uses the shutter feature on her phone for maximum blackmail.

"Kugisaki...Itadori is dead." Megumi rests his weight against the door and holds his side.

Nobara halts and does a double-take waiting for Megumi to say something else. Anything else.

"What do you mean? He was just..." She trails off unable to finish her thought. "There's no way."

"It was Sukuna." Megumi holds a hand against his face as if trying to cover his words.

"Is that why you're?" Nobara's brow furrows and she frowns.

"And that curse he saved...she took his body." Megumi's grip tightened on the door.

"She what?" Nobara was startled with the new development.

"She said she was going to take him where he needed to go."

"Where he needed to go? Maybe...I wouldn't worry about it, Gojo will probably figure it out." Nobara scratches her head and places her phone on her night table.

"That's what he said." Megumi rolled his eyes at her response.

"Let's go get some ramen." Nobara pumped a fist in the air with a new found determination.

"Why?"

"To remember the good times." She flashed a hearty smile at him and dragged him along with her.

***

"When do you think Mahito will be back?" Jogo voiced out not expecting an answer.

"Sooner than you think." Getou cracked a smile and sat down near the edge of the hot springs. Steam covered the area like a fog which contrasted with the clear starry night sky.

"Haaa...Haaa." Mahito slithered from his puddle form and shifted to his human appearance.

"How did it go? That was rhetorical. I assume it didn't want to join based on your appearance." Getou partook in some of the sake left around.

Mahito cannonballed into the hot tub making the scalding water splash everywhere. "It was an exhilarating fight. She knew about my attacks before I said what they were." He drew out his smile a little too wide.

"Though it didn't matter since I was still able to heal fast. The thing that was strange is that her appearance was similar to mine for a time..." Mahito stared off into the distance his thoughts wandering. "I don't know why but she had this intense hatred for me even though we just met!" Mahito opened his mouth wide in an 'ugh' expression.

"It looked like you?" Getou answered curious at the wildcard's cursed techniques.

In all my time of living I've never heard of a curse like that before. It has enough power to put up a fight against Mahito, I have to meet them.

"We're changing the plan." Getou stated.

Everyone's attention was drawn to Getou's words. Hanami's head raised away from the bountiful flower field nearby and he joined the rest of the group.

"We need a distraction for the wildcard so we can get closer to the target of the mission." Getou polished off the rest of the sake with a soft exhale.

"Aah? You didn't leave any for me." Jogo huffed out the volcano on his head puffing out some ash.

"We'll just get some on the way." Mahito commented sticking out his tongue.

Getou pushed himself up with his hands and strolled away from the rest of the group. As soon as he was far enough away, he smiled up at the sky.

I might just have to go and kill them, but not yet. I can't have any chance of Gojo seeing me.

Mahito comes up from behind and speaks, "I forgot to mention, she said 'Kenjaku I know what you were planning from the beginning.'" He put a finger to his cheek and tilted his head toward the sky alongside Getou.

"She said what?" Getou snapped his head towards Mahito who was more interested in observing the sparkling stars.

How? How could she know? She would've had to have been near me through all my different lives. It isn't possible. I would've recognized her. Just who is she?

Getou let out a long laugh and inhaled, "She needs to die."

***

Memories again...How many times will I go through this? I was in Sukuna's domain and trying to help Itadori but...Sukuna killed me again.

I knew what he was going to do but I failed.

"You didn't fail."

Who?

"You."

I don't understand. Are you perhaps the me with all of my memories?

"I'm the original. Don't get it wrong."

I won't argue but I...You are engulfed in hatred. I want to say I understand the depths of your hate but I know it isn't true.

"Heh...You never will, just play your role."

My role? I just want to go home.

"Don't lie, you would never want to go back if you knew what I know."

You may be right but that doesn't mean I won't try.

"I'll show you soon, what it was like at home. You'll never forget it even if you lose all your memories again. I'll make you remember."

***

"Fuck, I can't believe I let him take advantage of me like that." She slammed her fist against her icy throne.

"As soon as he questioned me, I gave in to his demands. What happened to being strong!" The ice cracked under her strength.

"Now I'm here of all places, fuck me for being too self-aware." She leaned her hand against her forehead and dug her nails further into the ice.

"At least I hope Getou is in a panic over what I mentioned to Mahito." She smirks thinking about Getou's annoyed face.

"Not to mention Sukuna must be so confused. Heh...Maybe he'll feel a sliver of the hate I have for him." She curls her hand watching her nails lengthen and turn black.

I need power. More, more, more. It's not enough.

****A/N Make sure to like and add to your library! You can find me on Tumblr, Wattpad, and AO3. Jujutsu Kaisen and its characters belong to Gege Akutami.

[didiwaffles]

what kind of trauma did you give eva eyes emoji

*rubbing hands* I hope you know what you're getting yourself into hehe

(I have to put it under read more cause I um.. I'm insane about her okay qmq)

To answer this question, I first have to lay out who exactly Eva is.

And it's not about how she's Devi's daughter or how she's a genius child or anything that simple.

At that point in time, Eva was reborn, for the second time to be precise. Whatever Devi is doing out there, concerns Eva little, all she cares about is that she's stuck inside a child's body again. I mean, not like she has to, she does enjoy it quite a bit. Especially after she got rid of the trauma that made her live in anxiety and was messing with her enjoyment of life.

She does remember her past, and her past was not a short lived one by any means. She's seen some shit. Well, "seen" isn't quite the word if we talk about Eva. I must mention here that her past trauma is connected to the fact that she had to live deprived of eyes and ears for millions of years. So, she didn't exactly "see" shit, but definitely witnessed some, and experienced quite some.

After being reborn this time, past memories didn't flood her head immediately, instead she developed as a normal child until she was about 8 months old when she regained her conscience. From then on her memories slowly were coming back to her, with the intention of fixing her trauma as it comes back to her in pieces (and not how it happened the last time). But once she got her conscience, being in a body of a literal toddler was making her furious. Things that she knew how to do, simplest things like speaking or writing, her body would refuse to collaborate on. So, being pissed off over this, she used her powers (that she inherited from her parents, them being the most powerful beings in existence) to mature herself a bit. So at this point, she's under one year old, but she looks older and has a great coordination between her mind and body, which quickly made her stronger than many adults. And being able to speak now, she only helped Devi get rid of her trauma.

But you didn't ask me about what trauma I got rid her of, did you? No, you sadistic creatura of tumblr dot com want to know what new trauma she got! Well, let's get into it then.

Although Eva is aware that the person who was the reason behind all her problems, and the chains of anxiety that were binding her were completely destroyed, it lingered deep inside, and it turned out was extremely easy to rekindle.

It happened when Eva traveled alongside Devi, and Devi had to fight someone. That didn't concern Eva much, as she knew her mother was doing that all the time and it was just a boring routine for her at this point. But this time something else happened. Learned that Eva is Devi's daughter, the guy Devi was fighting decided he could use Eva to corner Devi. He trapped Eva inside a bubble filled with water. That didn't alarm either Eva or Devi, both of them knew that something that pathetic had no real danger for Eva, and she could get out whenever she could. Until the water turned into acid.

Devi didn't notice it immediately, but Eva did. The acid couldn't really harm her if she wasn't literally submerged in it. And because of that, it got into Eva's eyes.

It hurt as hell, but that wasn't what gave Eva the rush of adrenaline. "Am I gonna lose my eyes again?" "Can I not escape the curse after all?" and similar thoughts flooded her mind. The fear that was gone by then returned and gave her a rush of adrenaline. In just a few seconds she broke out and killed the one who did that to her, despite having to hold her eyes closed. At this point Devi knew something was wrong but she wasn't sure what happened exactly as she approached Eva. As she did, Eva tried to open her eyes and focus. And then she got sent down the spiral of a full blown panic attack as she realized that all she could see was a thick white mist.

Devi didn't stop her as Eva went through all the stages of her panic attack, just making sure to hold her in her arms. Once Eva calmed down as she lost her voice and strength, Devi calmly covered her eyes and healed all the damage done to them. Eva eyesight gradually came to her, and she started crying only harder and she couldn't stop herself. She felt relief but she was shaking still, and it was so strange for her. Until Devi explained to her that all these emotions come from millions of years she wanted to cry but physically couldn't, and she should just let herself get it out. And Eva did.

Huh? What about the guy? Well. He's dead. Duh. Left there to rot. No one cares about him. Literally. Lesson: don't piss off little girls.

Eva is fine tho. After that she became more aware that trauma doesn't just disappear cause magical dragon said so. And even if she's mostly free from it, it's still there and only a lot of time can truly free her from it.

That's an improvement from the previous "I don't need eyes copium who even needs them they only get in the way I'd rather not."

[deadgodwriting]

I don’t think I’ve ever really felt love before. I know I told you I had, but I don’t think that’s true. I think that in all honesty I didn’t even know what love really was until feeling it with you. And, I think part of that is that I’ve never felt my love returned until now. I had loved but it never really grew into what it could ultimately become. Love feeling unconditional is so so foreign to me. I’m still having to get over the idea that if I criticize you you’ll lash out at me. It’s part of why I almost never argue back very hard, or if I really want to make a point I like doing it when you’re asleep or after you leave and I can send it in a message. Because in all honesty I am a very broken person at this point lmao. Like there’s no hiding it. I try tip toeing about the fact I’ve been abused a lot but I think at this point it’s just obvious. I’ve been in 5 relationships before you. Each lasting: 1-2 months, almost 2 months, 1 1/2 years, 2-5 months (2 dating, 3 fwb but mixed together), and over 5 years. And that’s only counting ones lasting at least a month. There’s 3 other people I had asked out and agreed but we broke up either after a day, 2 days, or a week. And I started dating at 13. My first kiss on the lips was actually after the first time I had been kissed on the neck to my memory. Part of the reason I don’t like kissing with tongue is it’s just a bad sensory thing and also because I had someone force their tongue in my mouth, like multiple times. That same person was my first kiss. And first groped me. And first kinda *tried* to rape me, but gave up because I looked too terrified. There was two police reports but my parents prevented me from doing anything about it and gaslighted me about it. The second person was violent. One of the first things he did was when I was telling him to stop getting into fights, and not be friends with a guy who stabbed him, etc, he said that i was lucky he loved me or liked me so much (just don’t remember) because if he didn’t he would break my nose for asking all those things of him. He started pressuring me for sex. And then after I still wasn’t willing fast enough he told me he would cheat on me if I didn’t and I think even made me cry about it. So we had sex in a park bathroom like, somewhat shortly after I had turned 14. He also knew about the fact I had just been molested by the other person. So..... that was interesting lol. I also got to have my first pregnancy scare at 14. I had to walk to the local grocery store and buy my own pregnancy tests, and on the way there I was debating whether I would keep it if I was pregnant. I had to use what little cash I had too since I didn’t have an allowance most of my life, just holiday money. My parents found out I was sexually active and put me on birth control shortly after. So. Anyways uhh. He was the same guy that hit me, and like mentally tortured me for fun. To the point I would have full blown panic attacks that then led to shutting down and like rocking in the corner of my closet sometimes without the light even on because I had no more crying left in my body. But the time he hit me uh, basically I was scared of him being violent. And it was his 15th birthday and I was over at his house and he insisted that I go look at his knife collection that I really didn’t want to see because again, scared. But I had to go look and while showing me knives he poked me under the nail with one and I jumped and got scared because it hurt. Not a lot, or drew blood, but I got scared. And he started laughing at me. Which then sent me into a meltdowm/shutdown. I startedd being very quiet and reserved and just scratching at myself like I told you I used to do. Hoping he would notice and try and stop me and comfort me about scaring me but he really didn’t care. And then his parents dropped us off at the movies cause again it was hi sbirthday. And so we sat and I kept being quiet and scratching at myself. And he finally noticed and started telling me to stop and I didn’t because I was panicking. So he stormed out, which then made me panic more because any time he was mad it would be horrible, so I followed. And when we were outside he said he was going to call his dad which I super didn’t want because he made his parents hate me and I knew they wouldn’t let me talk to him for who knows how long, so I took his phone and tucked it in my bra and kept asking him to just go back and watch the movie. But he refused, and started destroying some plants that were planted outside the movie theater. I really didn’t like seeing him hurting the plants so I started telling him to stop, and he didn’t, so I started slapping his arm/hand away when he would try. And then I guess I did it harder at some point and he got pissed and I was sobbing and apologizing and I said he could hit me back, so he slapped me across the face. Which I think made me freeze because I didn’t expect him to actually do it. And then if I remember correctly I think we argued a little more, he got more pissed, shoved his hand down my bra and grabbed his phone, called his dad, and then his dad basically yelled at me while I cried as he drove me home. And then yeah I wasn’t allowed to talk to him for a few days for “ruining his birthday”. Uh, lots of other things wrong with him. That relationship messed me up probably the worst out of any of them. The last time I saw him in person I had such a bad panic attack I literally ran away and had to lock myself somewhere to hide because I was terrified and was shaking violently. Luckily I seem to be doing a lot better because I can like see an old photo of him and not start shaking lol. But when I was talking about like being 14 and drinking gatorade mixed with extract it was because I was with him. I uh also used to self harm a decent amount. I never cut but I would like get a pencil or pen and would just draw a straight line into my skin over and over until I got through the top or more layers of skin. I have some very mild scars on my chest from it. I probably did it a total of like 30 times? Last time being like, last year or maybe earlier this year because it became a coping skill from handling abuse. Which like, my ex wife also was abusive. There were points I genuinely broke down and told her that I felt like I was being held hostage and was in the relationship against my will only because I didn’t have money if I wasn’t with her and I didn’t want to have to get rid of all my animals because I couldn’t pay to feed them. And like sobbed and begged for her to just treat me better or to help me get away from her. And I even told her that sometimes us having sex felt like I was a prostitute or was being raped cause again, I didn’t want to be in the relationship I was only there because I literally had no ability to have money otherwise because I tried holding a very part time (5 hours a week) job and just couldn’t with how sick I am, or can get during a flare up. And also like.... I may have been molested or raped before the age of 2? Complete unknown, because I have no memories, but I had weird behaviors as a kid that looking back like my mom and 1-2 of my therapists have agreed like it’s a possibility for sure? So. Anyways uh. I also wrote my first suicide note when I was like a small kid. Maybe before i entered middle school. It was on purple construction paper and had a little stick figure hanging themselves like if you failed hangman from school lol. I was a very not mentally healthy kid and started therapy and medication at either 13 or 12? And then kept getting worse because even more abuse. And there for a while I was basically just mentally Gone. Like I hallucinated, was delusional, just like mentally Not There. They even thought I had DiD at one point. Because on top of all the abuse was also the like, forced isolation from my parents. So I barely interacted with anyone and if I did it was like one of my significant others who almost always abused me. Or my parents who also abused me. So like my brain started inventing shit To Cope lol. I’m 98% better from all that shit though. Really the main thing is I still sometimes will like feel a bug on my skin that isn’t there or something. Or like I’ve mentioned a couple times I can get really scared at night trying to fall asleep because my brain will come up with images of monsters and give me really bad anxiety about it. And unfortunately the only way I ever found to cope with that is sleeping with someone because idk why but that really calms me down. I still also get like anxiety/ptsd and will easily panic from things or have a hard time trying to speak up about things sometimes. That whole Fear of Abandonment thing which I feel like you also easily get. At least from the times you completely panicked at the thought of me wanting to leave you over something. I get that really easily and also worry like “I’m being annoying, I’m talking too much, I ask for too much, I take up too much space, it’s okay if laying like this is hurting me because it’s annoying to ask to move” like my brain just insists I should make myself as small and as quiet as possible so I’m less of a burden to deal with. And I have a hard time voicing my thoughts sometimes because I worry if I do it will upset you and you’ll either break up with me which would break my heart or you’d snap at me and be angry or yell or ignore me or otherwise like hurt me and that also scares me because like? I might just let you if that were to happen. And find a way to rationalize why I deserved it. So anyways moral of the story: surprise you fell in love with someone who’s basically the equivalent of a kicked puppy who would probably start literally shaking if you yelled at me in anger. Or would shut down and immediately do literally anything you asked me including sexual things out of this ingrained fear and need to please whoever is angry to get them to stop as quickly as possible.

[kiame-sama]

Heal quickly :( I'm sorry that happened to you. Was it a clean break? If so, it should heal back stronger!

Because I am being moody and I want to wallow in my own self-pity, have my yandere Oc's taking care of a darling with a broken ankle. (Fun fact: I have to wait a full WEEK to get an actual cast instead of the hastily put on temp cast because insurance is a bitch even though I've had the X-rays done and they know exactly what kind of break it is. This means I have a week to not mess up my bones further but I can feel them separate with every step)

Thank you for the well-wishes.

He is truly, deeply, honestly so sorry, love. It hurts him to see you in such pain and know there is nothing he can do about it to help you heal faster. Strict medicine regiment that he adheres to no matter what. He is sorry for waking you, love, but he needs to make sure you get ahead of the pain in terms of medicine and you take it exactly as he instructs. He will be frantic if you ever try to get out of bed yourself, let him carry you to and from the bathroom, let him feed you, let him spoil you in every way, shape, and form. He will call out of work (the first time he has ever done so in his career, so he can take care of you). Let him be a good doctor to you.

He knows you have to stay off your leg and when it comes to treating your injuries versus the animals, he can actually keep you off of your feet and in bed. He will bring you everything he possibly can and he will ensure you don't lift a finger. He will carry you and he will help you bathe and he will baby you entirely until you have healed. Don't fight him on it, you will not win. This man naps with tigers and has made friends with hyenas, you won't win that fight.

Evan is quite literally worried sick. He doesn't sleep, he doesn't leave your side. He is the one who gives you all of your meals and insists on feeding you just to make sure you eat. His right hand man will be dealing with any and all family or mafia affairs while Evan takes care of you. Don't try to argue or resist his help, he just needs to fuss over you. You mean the world to him and you being hurt makes his world crumble to bits. He needs to take care of you.

He is not handling it well at all. He will cook, clean, work, take care of you, and do anything he possibly can in order to make you feel as comfortable as possible. Please tell him how to help, he needs to do what he can for you because acts of service are his primary love language. He wants to help you keep your leg elevated and to keep you off of it for as long as you possibly can. You may need to comfort him because he will go into a full blown panic attack the moment he thinks you are in any discomfort.

Amira will cry because that is her primary way of venting emotion. She is worried about you and practically begs her big brother to come take a look at your leg and help you get proper care. She may also beg him to give you the good meds that will take any ounce of pain you may have away. Unless you stop her, she will skip classes just so she can stay home and take care of you. Please don't let her skip too many classes, she will stress over her grade.

Kaya will put her research on hold and will go out of her way to help you however she can. If that means she is the one keeping track of your meds, then she will happily do it for you. She will do all she can to make sure you stay in bed and stay off of your leg, helping you to and from the bathroom as needed. Kaya can be quite gentle when it comes to taking care of you and she will ensure that every single one of your needs are met. Say the word and she will go get you whatever you need to be comfortable again.

Julie is going to keep you on strict bed-rest and she will not let up until you have healed. Certainly you get a better cast than the one you had temporarily placed on, but that doesn't make her any more likely to let you get up and do things. She isn't the best at remembering when you need to take which meds, but she does try and that is the important part. She tries quite hard.

Hada is no stranger to broken bones, so she knows how important it is to stay off of your feet and to keep your leg elevated. Don't make her tie you down to the bed because she will do it to make sure you rest. She can and will carry you to wherever you want to go, so tell her if you need the bathroom or anything else.

Just flat out heals your leg. They don't like seeing you in pain unless it has something to do with the bedroom.

[thememerman]

I’m currently completely ignoring the fandom rn and just spamming everything I love about this series so heheh time for me to scream about the Bad Batch AGAIN!!

it’s no question that this is easily one of the most if not THE most traumatic thing that has ever happened to Echo. I mean??

he is in PAIN!! He doesn’t even remember how he got here and he’s hooked up to wires and tubes and has mental implants and he doesn’t have 3/4 of his limbs. He’s scared and confused and is practically clinging to Rex as soon as he’s coherent enough to understand a fraction of what’s happening. My boy has been through it.

Aftermath gives us a follow up on just how much this affected him like he just had a full blown panic/PTSD attack and was only snapped out of it because Omega was there to calm him down. He is so scared and looks almost claustrophobic?? Which let’s be honest nobody would like being surrounded by anything remotely medical after spending years of their life poked and prodded at in a tube as a science experiment.

onto episode 16!! If I can see the similarity between these two, you can bet your bottom dollar Echo did too. But he’s literally the one that suggested that they use the tubes to get out. He has to be having flashbacks and dealing with PTSD slamming him again but he puts on his ARC Trooper face and he’s the first to suggest the thing that would make him incredibly uncomfortable and claustrophobic because it meant getting everyone out. He realistically knows that this is their only chance and is what he has to do, but that doesn’t change the fact that he just had to be feeling sick with dread at the prospect of getting in a tube again.

This entire rant boils down to me being 748291919% convinced that while Echo may have griped about being stuck with Tech, you cannot tell me that he didn’t feel so much better that he wasn’t alone as that tube sealed shut. The one that got Echo unhooked safely and was a HUGE reason they were able to save Echo as successfully as they did is here with him now and that had to calm Echo down so much??? I am just always going to have so many feelings about my Nerdy Boys they are!! EVERYTHING TO ME

[scarofthewind]

Just saw the movie "Freaky" and thought "How would slashers react if they one day wake up with their body swapped with their S/o?". Bonus if the reaction is all chaotic 😂

A/N: Here you go, sorry it took so long. I get to update a lot this week despite working still but it’s because my shifts are short but I get to talk with my manager on Wednesday about going full-time because I need the money. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Warnings: None, slight NSFW on the last section with Michael and Vincent

word count: 1.1k Tip Jar (every bit helps!)

Would try to remain calm:

Jason Voorhees: When he first opened his eyes and saw himself laying next to him, he was beyond confused. “(Y/N)?!” He’d say, shocking himself once more when he realizes that he can speak, but that it isn’t his voice, it’s yours. He watches as his body moves, slowly waking up and looking very confused as well. “We have to fix this,” he says once more through your body, watching as you tried to speak but only garbled phrases came out. 

“It’s alright, we can think of something! I’ll fix this I promise!” He continued, looking down at your body and immediately grabbing the covers in remembrance of the night before. Jason had never been more mortified in his life, but he did his best to remain calm and figure out how to get you back to normal. 

Norman Bates: It was when he passed the mirror to the bathroom that he realized something wasn’t right. Moving back, he took in your figure staring back at him and he blinked before turning to wake you up. “I don’t know how to fix this but I’m going to try everything,” he informed you, watching as you froze in your spot, at the realization. Everything felt wrong, as though it was a violation of privacy.

“Please hurry, we have dinner plans with my parents tonight, remember?” You replied, your voice not your own but the tone the same. Norman nodded, leaning towards you and pressing a kiss to your head before taking off downstairs. 

Thomas Hewitt: With how much larger he is, he woke up knowing that something wasn’t right. However, he didn’t think it would be this bad. “(Y/N), please wake up,” he said, his voice a lot higher pitched that his usual deep baritone one. He watched through your eyes as his massive body next to him moved a bit before slowly waking. “I don’t know how this happened,” he said, watching as you sat up quickly, looking down at his hands that you now possessed. 

“Get me out of your meat suit, Thomas. This feels very wrong,” you replied with your heart hammering in your chest. Nodding, Thomas did his best to maneuver around the house but it was a lot harder to do when he was now half the size he usually is. 

Would have a full on panic attack:

Bo Sinclair: He nearly falls off the bed in a frenzy when he realizes that his conscious is in your body. He’s too busy freaking out that he doesn’t take the time to think about the breasts he now possesses; something he usually enjoys profusely. “Wake up! Wake up, we need to fix this now!” He panics, flying around the room, practically knocking stuff over as he gets used to how your body moves. 

You watch as he falls, scraping your knee and cutting it, much to your dismay. “Stop, Bo,” you snap at him, approaching your fallen body on the floor, “Before you hurt me even more.” It takes a while for him to become calm, but by that time, you’ve already figured out how to turn back. 

Brahms Heelshire: You wake up to the feeling of Brahms shaking you violently, although when you open your eyes, you only see yourself. “Please tell me you know what happened?” He panics, pacing around the room in your nightgown, biting your nails to which you shout at him for. “I can’t be stuck like this! I need my body back!” He tugs at your strands of hair, watching as you look down at your body that was covered in dark hair. 

“You really need to shave,” you say, only making Brahms freak out even more. He makes his way downstairs and to the library, hoping to find a book on body switching or something to at least aid in the return of his conscious to his body. 

Bubba Sawyer: “(Y/N), please wake up! Something’s happened!” You can hear your own voice shouting at you as you blink back sleep and sit up in bed. You look to your side and see yourself sitting there with tears falling from your eyes. 

“Bubba?” You ask, the voice coming out was your lover’s and you watched as your head nodded. “Don’t cry, we’ll fix this,” you say, reaching out and pulling him close, feeling him sob. By the way he was shaking in your arms, you knew you needed to do something quick; he wouldn’t be able to last all day like this. 

Charles Lee Ray: “No, no! No, no, no, no, (Y/N), wake up!” You groaned in bed at your lover’s shouts of terror as he looked in the mirror to see your face staring back at him. “Wake up! This is am emergency!” He panicked, running back into the room and throwing the covers off your body. 

“What the fuck, Charl-” you gasped when you spoke, hearing your lover’s voice instead of your own and seeing your body standing at the foot of the bed. “What did you do? I told you not to mess with that voodoo stuff!” You shout, starting a full blown argument that only makes the both of you panic even more. 

Would immediately act perverted:

Michael Myers: You wake up to the feeling of something happening down below and when you open your eyes to see the giant bulge under the covers, you freak out. Your scream is what made Michael, who was in your body, jump up and look around. “Get me out of here!” You shouted at him, getting out of bed and trying to calm yourself down. Michael only chuckled at your panicked state, using this as a great time to explore the female body on another level. “Stop touching my boobs, what are you doing?” You snapped.

“I think this is the perfect time to see what a female orgasm feels like,” he said, your voice coming out in soft sounds as he used your body to his own pleasure. You really began to panic when the thing between his legs jumped at the sounds he was making you make. 

Vincent Sinclair: “So this is what it’s like to have a penis,” you say, looking under the covers to the unclad bulge between your lovers legs. Vincent was still laying in bed next to you, wearing your body, but you both decided that it would be best to try something fun with this once in a lifetime opportunity. “Can I touch it?” You asked, looking to your body which Vincent was already playing with. 

“Do whatever you want. Today’s, fair game - just don’t shave me,” he said in your voice, moving one of your hands down between your legs and sucking in a breath at the feeling. 

[fuck-customers]

Had customer come in and buy something. I tried to offer him his receipt but he didn’t want it. About a thousand customers later he comes back wanting to return it.

I tell him, we don’t do returns without receipts and I ask to see his. He gets fussy and tells me that he didn’t want his receipt but I’m the one who checked him out so I should remember him and that he bought this item at our store.

I tell him that I’m sorry but I have had a lot of customers today so I didn’t remember him and I can’t do a return without the receipt because the computer won’t let me.

So he asks what I did went his receipt and I tell him if he didn’t take it then it was likely thrown away. So he demands to know why I didn’t set it aside just in case he came back. I tell him that I’m sorry but I have no way of knowing which customers will come back for a return.

He screams at me repeatedly to dig through the trash and find his receipt.

So I had my first ever full blown panic attack right there on the sales floor. (PTSD) He freaks out and starts trying to apologize, but the panic attack won’t stop and I can’t breath. Thankfully a coworker went to get the manager when he started screaming at me, and the manager took me to her office to help me calm down and even paid for me to get some therapy out of her own pocket.

But why do customers think screaming at a cashier is an okay thing to do? Like bruh I am barely making minimum wage. I do not make enough to get screamed at because YOU made a mistake.

The dude apologized the next time he came into the store, but I didn’t recognize him because we get thousands of customers everyday.

[tyongxnct]

𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 - 𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝐿𝑒𝑒

pairing: Mark Lee x reader

summary: Dating Mark Lee was wonderful- until it wasn’t. You were fighting all the time and he hurt you with his words, but this time you had enough. You couldn’t let him hurt you and accept him back whenever he said that he was sorry. You were so sick of letting him hurt you, so sick of him talking about your relationship with others behind your back. He changed so much, you probably did too, but he wasn’t the person you fell in love with anymore.

song: same old love - Selena Gomez

genre: angst, a dash of fluff

warnings: swearing, mention of sex

word count: 2,7k

A/N: this one’s a little short and I hope you enjoy it anyway! 💖 a little spoiler for the last story in my series: back to you won’t be a short fic, it’s going to be a full fic with (currently) over 7k words and I’m not finished yet! If you want to be added to the taglist send me an ask! 🥰

taglist: @alex-chann​, @aesthetichrj​

© tyongxnct on all platforms

Take away your things and go You can't take back what you said, I know I've heard it all before, at least a million times I'm not one to forget, you know

“Leave. Take all of your things and go.”

“No, baby, fuck. I didn’t mean-“ Mark stepped forward and you stepped backwards. It broke his heart. “What? You didn’t mean it? It’s not your first time saying that Mark. I’ve had enough. We’re going in circles, it needs to stop!”

It wasn’t the first time that Mark told you that he’s sick of you and that he wished that he never dated you in the first place.

“I love you, baby. Believe me, I was just angry and-“

“frustrated- I know, it’s always the same excuse Mark. I know that you don’t love me, so please, just leave. Find someone you love and who treats you better, apparently I’m not enough.”

“I do! I do love you! Just hear me out, please!” Mark was crying, you weren’t even crying.

“Why are you crying? I’m letting you go Mark, you don’t have to force yourself to stay with me anymore.” Your heart clenched, your hands formed to fists, nails dug into your soft skin.

“I love you…” he whispered, “I love you so much, please give me one last chance.” He begged. “Did you love me when you told Johnny that I was so annoying? Did you love me when you told Jaehyun that you’re sick of having sex with me, sick of me calling you and texting you? Sick of me asking you about your day and worrying about you? Did you love me when you told Mina, that we aren’t serious? How can you love me when we aren’t even serious?”

Mark looked defeated, “H-how did you-“

“Is that important? You talked to them every time I was with you, you wanted me to hear that. You want me to break up with you because you are a fucking coward.”

“I-I never wanted you to hear that- I just, I don’t know what to say, I’m so sorry, please. I’m begging you, give me one last chance. I love you. I really love you so much, I can’t do it without you. I need you in my life.” Mark wiped away his tears with his hands, but the tears were still rolling down his cheeks.

“I’ll never forget how you treated me, how much you hate me. You made me think it was my fault- that I was the one who destroyed this relationship, but it wasn’t me. It was you, and now, take your things and go. We’re done.” You didn’t allow the tears to fall until you entered the bathroom, closed the door, and locked it.

I don't believe, I don't believe it You left in peace, left me in pieces Too hard to breathe, I'm on my knees Right now

You fell on your knees, your hand was on your mouth, covering your whimpers and sobs. It hurt, you loved him so much it broke you apart. You felt your chest tighten, the pain filled your body and there was nothing you could do to stop the pain.

“I-I love you. So much.” Mark was on the other side of the door, his hand was on the doorknob, he couldn’t hold you anymore, it was over now. Mark was still crying as he held his bag tightly and hoped that you’d open the door and jump in his arms, for one last time.

He could hear you, your sobs were loud, you were never good in hiding your emotions. Your eyes filled with tears and pain. “I’m sorry.” And with that, he walked out of your apartment and left.

You couldn’t breathe, the hand that covered your mouth before, was now holding your chest tightly. Your eyes were wide, were you having a panic attack? The bathroom suffocated you, the walls came closer and closer and you were having a hard time controlling your breathing.

Your curled up and closed your eyes, you tried to think of happy memories. Yeah, you had happy memories with Mark, not just bad memories. The first time you had met him was your favorite memory of him.

I'm so sick of that same old love, that shit, it tears me up I'm so sick of that same old love, my body's had enough I'm so sick of that same old love, feels like I've blown apart I'm so sick of that same old love, the kind that breaks your heart

You’ve met Mark on a blind date your friend had arranged for you almost two and a half years ago. She told you that you were a perfect match and after two weeks of begging you to meet him, you said yes. It wouldn’t hurt right?

“He’s a little bit shy, okay maybe not a little bit, but like, you know, he’s cute you’ll love him.” Your friend said as she helped you with your make up. “I’m shy too! What If we just sit there and don’t talk?” you said worriedly.

“No, he will talk. Maybe even a little too much.”

You looked through the restaurant and looked for the man in blue. The two of you decided to wear a matching color since you still didn’t know what he looked like, and he told you to wear blue because it was his favorite color.

Your gaze met his, and your brain stopped working because he looked so handsome and cute at the same time. Mark’s smile widened as he watched you walk over to him. His palms were sweaty, and he was absolutely nervous.

“Hey, Mark?” you said nervously.

“Yeah, hi. I’m Mark. Wow you’re way prettier than I imagined.” He rambled and you smiled at him shyly. “Oh yeah right.” He got up and helped you with your chair like a gentleman. “Thank you.”

“Uhm, I ordered red wine, but like, if you want to drink something else, like, champagne or something tell me.” He was talking so fast and you could see how nervous he was, just like you.

“No, no. Red wine is totally fine.”

“Yeah, uhm, Minsoo told me that you like red wine, but I thought maybe you’d like to drink something else.” He rambled again. “Am I talking too much? I feel like I’m talking too much.”

“No,” you giggled, “You’re not talking too much don’t worry.”

“That’s good, my friends told me to shut up, but I feel like I can’t stop talking. Did I tell you that you’re really pretty?” Mark didn’t even notice the waiter looking at him with his mouth wide open, “Thank you, Mark. You are very handsome.”

The waiter looked to you and then back to Mark as you and Mark just looked at each other without saying anything. The waiter cleared his throat, “Sir, would you like to order now?”

And after ordering, your night was filled with smiles, giggles, and loud laughs. Mark was so funny and cute the whole time, and when you held his hand, which was resting on top of the table, his cheeks started burning and you just wanted to squish his cheeks.

“You’re so adorable.” You smiled at him shyly. “And you’re so gorgeous.”

You were in front of your apartment, even though you didn’t want the night to end, but it was almost 1 am and you had classes the next day. “I had so much fun tonight, Mark. Thank you so much.”

“Me too. And uhm, I really would love to do it again.” He blushed a little. “Me too. You have my number?”

He nodded and you couldn’t resist, so you tiptoed and kissed his cheek before you entered your apartment, “Good night, Mark.”

I'm not spending any time, wasting tonight on you I know, I've heard it all So don't you try and change your mind 'Cause I won't be changing too, you know

You woke up on the bathroom floor. After crying for hours and trying to calm yourself down, you fell asleep. You fell asleep with a smile on your face, the memories you shared with Mark were beautiful, almost too good to be true. But after everything you’ve been through, you didn’t want to wallow in memories. Even it’s just for one night, you wanted to stop feeling sad and down, you just wanted to be happy and think about yourself first. No more thoughts on Mark’s wellbeing, no more going through pictures of him on your phone and no more texting him that you missed him.

You were determined, your relationship with Mark was over, and he wouldn’t change your mind this time, like he always did. This time, you had enough.

You can't believe, still can't believe it You left in peace, left me in pieces Too hard to breathe, I'm on my knees Right now

“H-Hyung, I just- fuck.” Mark cried into his palms. Johnny knew that your relationship with Mark was about to end, after everything Mark had told him, he didn’t think he’d see his friend crying like this after you broke up with him. “I just can’t believe it, I-I thought that we’d be together forever, no matter w-what.”

“Mark, isn’t this what you wanted?” Johnny asked carefully.

Mark shook his head, “I-I don’t know what I wanted, I only know that I want her b-but she’ll never want me back.”

“You said it yourself though, that you were sick-“

“I know what I said!” he shouted at his friend, “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to shout at you, but like, I know what I said and If I could take it back I would. I just feel so… so empty without her. I think… I think I was scared that she’d stop loving me first and that’s why I pushed her away.”

“That’s literally the dumbest thing you could’ve done.” Johnny sighed.

“She didn’t even cry. S-She looked so, so done. Done with me and done with everything, like she fell apart and it’s all because of me.”

Mark couldn’t breathe, his heart clenched, and he gripped his shirt, everything suffocated him. He remembered your emotionless face and the emptiness in your eyes, and this time it was Mark who was on his knees, having a panic attack.

I'm so sick of that same old love, that shit, it tears me up I'm so sick of that same old love, my body's had enough

I'm so sick of that same old love, feels like I've blown apart I'm so sick of that same old love, the kind that breaks your heart

A couple weeks after your fight with Mark, you found yourself alone at home, an empty bottle of wine next to your empty bed.

He didn’t try to contact you. The only information you had about him was that he stayed with Johnny. Johnny sent a simple text, telling you that he was sorry and that Mark was in safe hands, since he knew, that you after everything still cared for him.

You didn’t cry after the last time you cried. It’s going to be a long journey until you close the big chapter labeled ‘Mark’ and you hoped that it’s going to be a peaceful journey, but after tonight, you weren’t sure if there was a possible future without Mark in it.

Suddenly you heard sounds coming from your door. Didn’t you lock it? Who is trying to get into your apartment? It was past midnight and with a pan in your one hand, you slowly walked to the door.

Of course, it was him. Mark still had your spare key and he forgot to ask for your permission before he entered.

You let out the breath you were holding. “What are you doing here? Did you forget anything?”

Mark looked at you and then at he pan in your hand. “Are you going to hit me with it? I’ll let you do it If you listen to me for just a minute.”

“N-No I’m not going to hit you with. I thought you were a thief.”

You put the pan on top of the little shelf next to your door. “A-Are you scared alone?” he asked you.

The truth is, yes you were. You were scared of being alone, scared of darkness.

“N-No?”

“You don’t have to lie to me, I know that you’re scared. I’m sorry.”

“What are you doing here? I don’t think you came just to ask me If I’m scared.”

“I needed to talk to you, I know it’s late and stuff, but like, yeah I just- I couldn’t sleep nor eat and yeah, I, uhm-“

“Mark you’re rambling.” He reminded you of the time your first started dating, how nervous he was and how he couldn’t stop talking because he hated awkward silence.

“Yeah, I am. Sorry, I just want to talk.”

“I don’t think there is anything to talk about, Mark.” You sighed. “There is. I can’t survive another week without telling you how much you actually mean to me.” He whispered.

“Mark I really don’t want to do this-“

“Please, just one minute. Just one minute.” He held your hand, and you didn’t push away. You missed his touch. “Fine. Just one minute.”

“First of all, I love you. I really do. Since the second I saw you enter that restaurant, I knew that I loved you and I can remember how much of an idiot I was, like, the entire night, but you still kissed me goodbye on the cheek and my heart was about to explode. I thanked Minsoo so much and I still thank her for introducing you to me. I was like, a blind date? How’s that going to work? And it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I know I pushed you away, I was an asshole and I hurt you so much, but I’m an insecure, stupid pussy and I can’t believe I had you, but then I let you slip through my fingers. I didn’t know how to hold your hand and I didn’t know how to make clear, that I need you. The things I told the others, I don’t think that I was actually complaining because If I think about it now, my heart flutters and I can feel the butterflies in my belly jumping around. You cared about me like no one else did and I missed you so much, I just can’t lose you. Your my first and only love, I don’t want anyone but you.”

You were crying, he was crying, Johnny was probably at home crying too.

“M-Mark…” you whimpered, you didn’t know what to say.

“P-Please just give me a chance to gain your love and t-trust back.” He wiped your tears away with his soft hand.

“I’m… I’m so sick of being hurt, I’m so sick of it, Mark. I can’t take anymore pain, I’m so sick of suffering and not being loved, I-I just want to be loved. You h-hurt me so much the past months, I don’t think my body and soul can handle it I-If I go through that again…” you sobbed.

“You won’t need to- Baby, I promise you, I’ll never ever treat you like that again. I won’t let you suffer, not again. I love you I love you so much. I love you please believe me, I love you.”

Mark wrapped his arms around you as you cried into the crook of his neck. He repeated over and over again that he loved you as you both cried together, arms wrapped around each other and hearts connected again.

“One last chance, and if you fuck up again, you’ll never get to see my face again.” You whispered.

“I won’t fuck up, I promise you. The days without you were torture. Being without you is torture.”

“C-Can we take it slow, Mark? I feel like… I feel like if we rush things you’ll get sick of me again…” you were scared that giving him another chance was a mistake.

“No, no baby. Don’t ever think that again, okay? We can take it slow if you want that, but I don’t want you think that I’ll get sick of you, I could never. Being away from you was so hard, I don’t want that to happen ever again.” Mark pressed his lips on your temple.

“Okay…”

“Do you want to go on a date with me? Are you free on Friday?” he asked you and you chuckled.

“I’m not sure, I have to check my schedule.” You teased him.

“Babe…” Mark whined.

“I’m just joking.”

[lunmelia]

Listen I know that Jack had to “grow up fast” because the world is a “dangerous place” or whatever but if he was born a baby?? I would’ve watched the hell out of that show. Just two dudes, their mum and an angel raising the devil’s baby. Because I say that they kicked Lucifer’s ass to the alternate world and everyone lives (except Kelly. Sorry.). Could you imagine? 

You have Mary; the woman who has experience in raising two babies, even if one was only for six months.

You have Dean; the man who basically raised Sam and has vague memories of helping out when his brother was a baby. Helped Lisa with her son and baby niece. Took care of a shapeshifter baby for a day. Also had a daughter for a couple of days but didn’t interact with her much. 

You have Sam; not much experience. Also took care of a shapeshifter baby for a day. Strong in research, might manage to find them at least a paragraph of how to raise a nephilim. Killed his niece. Not a great sign but he promises he won’t do that this time. 

You have Castiel; the angel expert. Is a literal angel. Has no experience with babies apart from that one night he babysat for his co-worker. Kind-of-sort-of-not-really a dad to a teenage girl. Only times he’s had to interact with a nephilim is when he’s been ordered to kill one, so, not a good sign but he promises he won’t do that this time. 

Together, they make do. But holy shit is raising Jack tough. 

He may not have a true form like Castiel but he does have wings and a true voice. Which he can’t control. So the tantrums. The tantrums. When he was born he made their ears bleed from the crying, and the lights exploded. Cas was miraculously able to calm him down before further damage was done, but the humans always make sure to have earplugs on them from then on. They also had to buy a large supply of lightbulbs to replace the ones in the bunker every time he cries. 

They had to baby proof the bunker. And I mean baby proof the hell out of the bunker. You think a normal house can be dangerous for a baby? The bunker is huge. And full of knives, guns, spellbooks, ancient artifacts, and just about a thousand other things that are not. good. to have around a baby. The baby proofing took a week. Two days of exploring the bunker and recording everything that needed to be baby-proofed, two shopping trips in a day to buy the things needed, and another three days of installing everything. Cas had to stay with Jack in his room while Mary, Sam and Dean did all the baby proofing. 

(also yes this is an AU in which Dean and Cas get their shit together, confess their feelings, build a house and raise Jack as his dads. the build a house part comes in when Jack is like 3)

The absolute freakout Dean had when Jack flew the first time. It happened when he was five months old, and Dean was changing his diaper. He turned around for a second to throw out the wipes. Heard the flap of wings, turned back around with a greeting for Cas on his lips, and Jack was gone. It went like this: Dean, staring at the empty table: ... Jack? Jack- *realisation* Cas! Cas, the baby’s gone! Cas! The baby can fly! Baby’s flying- Cas, appearing in front of him with a giggling Jack in his arms: yes, I am well aware Dean: oh my god- Jack: *disappears again* Dean: *yelps in alarm* Cas: *simply reaches up and just. plucks Jack out of thin air. one moment there’s empty air and the next Jack is just in Cas’ hands* Cas: this may become... difficult Dean, leaning over with his hands on his knees: I’m gonna have a heart attack

Turns out, baby Jack can heal! Which is what Mary discovered when once she had held Jack after coming back from a hunt with a few scrapes, they miraculously disappeared. 

You know when toddlers will get into the flour and leave a mess that you have to clean up for the next two hours? Yeah, well Jack got into a box of spellbooks and opened one which released monsters from fables. So that was a very panic-filled 6 hours that included Sam, Dean and Mary researching how to put them back / kill them while Cas held Jack close to make sure he didn’t fly away. Turns out, baby-proofing a bunker is pretty useless when said baby can fly through walls.

Apart from the many mishaps thathappened during raising Jack from infancy to toddlerhood, he’s just a weird kid. And kids are usually weird, but Jack is weird. 

Sam basically sprinted back to the car with a five-year-old Jack in his arms after Jack had held a woman’s hand in his at a playground and gently told her, “the events that lead to your father’s death were never your fault. He is in his Heaven now and although he is at peace, he begs that you make room in your heart for forgiveness of his wrong doings.” Yeah, they were very close to moving town when that happened. 

One day when he was 6, he walked outside into the back yard and just sat down in a random spot and stared at the ground. After a couple of minutes of glancing out the window to check on him, Dean walked up to him. Dean: whatchu up to, kid? Jack: there is a daisy that is going to grow and bloom here in 15 days. I’ve never seen a flower grow. I would like to watch it, if that’s okay? Dean: you want to sit here, in this exact spot, for 15 days so you can watch a flower grow? Jack, still not taking his eyes off the spot: yes Dean, who’s honestly used to this behaviour after witnessing it for the past two years: ... alright, sure. I’ll bring you dinner in a couple of hours, that sound good? Jack, finally looking up with a beaming smile: yes, thank you! (Cas and Dean did not let him sit in the same spot for 15 days. They did sit next to him for like two hours when the daisy did bloom, though. And despite the creak and buzzing ache in his knees and back, Dean can’t find it in himself to regret it.) 

he had a phase when he was 7 where he would say hi to everyone he came across. Everyone. Dean and Cas cannot make one shopping trip with him without everyone in that store knowing Jack’s name. He says bye when they leave too. 100% every time they get at least 5 people saying bye back. 

On the year he turned 8 they decided to enrol him in school. After weeks of telling him not be “weird” and teaching him to be as normal of a kid as he could be. When the 4 of them are confidant that he won’t go around using his powers, they enrol him. They did not anticipate the school calling him the first day, telling them that Jack had explained to the other kids that Santa isn’t real and they should “learn to not set themselves up for disappointment or believe what their parents say” which caused the entire class to burst out into tears. It was another “maybe we should move town” moment.

Another kid: my dad broke his leg. he has to walk with crutches now. sometimes he lets me use them! Jack: both my dads have died. one of them was torn to shreds by hellhounds who then dragged his soul down to hell where he was tortured for 40 years, but then father rescued him, that was how they met. but then father was blown to bits by my biological father. but then my grandfather resurrected him! they’re fine now.  Their teacher: uh, wow... Jack. sure sounds like you have some very vivid dreams Jack, remembering he’s not supposed to talk about this kind of stuff: ah, yes, of course... dreams. I woke up... crying. a lot. the dreams... scared me. 

I have... so many other little moments in my head, but this post is already so long so let me know if anyone wants more. 

[aliwritesfic]

The Night Shift part 8 (F!Reader x Frankie Morales)

Summary: It's time to do what's best for you . . . also fuck Kurt

Warnings: physical violence, emotional abuse, brief mention of trauma

W/C: 2.2k

AN: So.... I'll be honest, I was quite sick when I wrote this (and I'm still not 100% but I'm at like 75% which is good enough) but I have a mentality of not editing or revising my work otherwise I embarrass myself and convince myself I'm The Worst(tm), but I hope this makes sense and the pacing is good <3

Spotify

Part 1 Part 9

Frankie was glad to see you finally opening up. Even if that meant tears he couldn’t wipe away, or a hand he couldn’t hold. The last thing he wanted was to put you in a position where you thought the only reason he was helping was to swoop in while you were vulnerable.

You sat next to him in his truck, your eyes were puffy and red from tears that once they started seemed to come in waves of intensity, from a few sniffles to shoulders heaving, gasping for air sobs. Manny sat beside you, holding your hand, which Frankie was grateful for. He was glad to see that you had people that cared about you. When he had messaged Manny that morning, it was more to find out if his suspicions were correct about the ‘friend’ you had talked about while drunk was you.

“You don’t have-“

“We want to,” Manny interjected for the fifth time. It occurred to Frankie that you weren’t used to people wanting to help you. “I’ve been praying that you’ll let me help you.” That made you sob again. You gave another apology, chest heaving as you tried to breathe.

Truthfully, Frankie was also glad that this was an excuse for him to skip talking about his own feelings. His own mind was a muddy mess of flashbacks and night terrors and bouts of anxiety that became so crippling he forgot how to breathe. How well would that have gone down in the little group he now found himself apart of? If he had to guess, about as well as it went down with Portia – pitying looks and urges to see a proper therapist, and a new distance that neither was willing bridge.

Manny answered a call as Frankie drove back. He wasn’t driving anywhere in particular, but when it had become clear you wanted to be anywhere but that bistro, he had suggested the three of you pile into his truck and see where the road took you.

“Mateo, honey, I need to ask you a few things,” Manny said into his phone. Out of the corner of his eye, Frankie saw you lean your head back and squeeze your eyes shut. Frankie wanted to reach out and squeeze your knee, take your hand, do anything to show that he was there, that he wasn’t going anywhere so long as you wanted him around.

Manny’s voice faded into the background as you turned to look at Frankie. He pulled up at a small nature reserve, which was just an algae slicked pond and a few oak trees surrounded by recently mowed grass. Frankie noticed how bloodshot your eyes were.

“You okay?” he asked, realising it was a stupid question.

“I will be,” you said, your voice hoarse. You cleared your throat with a wince. “I’m not upset . . . I’m just overwhelmed. Like, I’ve been holding this all in for so long that once the lid was opened it was impossible to put back on, and now I’ve just gotta let it all out. Does that sound stupid?”

Frankie shook his head. “Not at all.” You smiled weakly at him.

“Bet this is the worst lunch you’ve ever had,” you said.

“Nah, I think it ranks pretty highly,” Frankie said. “Mainly because of the company, though.” You rolled your eyes and Frankie could see the corners of your mouth twitch in an effort to keep a smile away.

“It’s not your fault, you know,” he said softly.

“What isn’t?” You asked, but before he could answer, Manny interjected.

“I’ve found you a new place,” he said. You shot up, confusion written on your face plainly. Manny smiled the type of smile when someone knows they’ve basically saved the day. “That was my dear friend Mateo on the phone. He is taking his first steps towards being a real estate mogul and recently brought a one bedroom apartment to rent out. And because he is such a dear friend and owes me like, a billion favours, I told him the minimum of what your situation was, and he has told me that he’s willing to rent the place to you for lower than market value. A hundred and twenty a week, including water.”

You’re silent for a few moments, and Frankie watched you carefully.

“When can I move in?” you said finally, and Frankie felt an invisible weight lift off your shoulders. He could only imagine how difficult this would be for you; making decisions that would change how you lived in a matter of hours, basically upending your life.

“He can get the keys to us on Wednesday, he’s just got to replace some fixtures and finish painting some walls,” Manny said. You nodded slowly.

“So, I just need to last till Wednesday,” you said.

“You can stay at my place, if you want.” Frankie said quickly, not exactly comfortable with the idea of you staying with Kurt. You had said he was never physically violent, but Frankie also knew how quickly a man could change when they didn’t get their way.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose,” you said carefully. Frankie nodded.

“Of course, you’re my friend, and friends help each other.” Just friends. Only friends. He wasn’t going to take advantage of you in this state just because he had a stupid crush. He had once had a conversation with a pissed off Eve Miller, who was ranting about the guys she thought were her friends instantly making moves the moment she became single. That had solidified Frankie’s resolve to not make moves on women he was friends with – it wasn’t fair to them or to him.

Before you could answer, your phone was ringing loudly. Your face crumpled as you looked at the contact, and Frankie frowned.

Kurt.

You took a deep breath and hit answer. “Hey! What’s up?” Your light and airy tone was at odds with your sombre expression. “No, I have lunch with Manny on Sunday, remember? You’re home already? But –“

Frankie listened to the angry buzzing coming from your phone, his revulsion growing.

“My phone died – no I just went out with Sara last night, she wanted to go to fight night . . . it’s not that short . . . No I didn’t fuck anyone else, Jesus Christ, Kurt! No! Look, I’ll be home soon, we can talk about this then.” You hung up with a shaking hand, your mouth twisting with effort to contain the tears.

Manny met Frankie’s eye over the top of your bowed head and gave a small nod.

“We’ll come with you to get some of your clothes,” Frankie said. “And anything else you need.”

“You’re really too sweet for this,” you muttered with a hiccup. “I’m sorry for dragging the both of you into my shit.”

“I crawled willingly into it,” Manny said breezily, “which I would only do for about five people in this world.”

The trio remained silent for several minutes, interrupted only but the sound of your occasional hiccups. Frankie reached out and patted your shoulder awkwardly, cringing internally while he did. Inexplicably, you leant into his touch, your damp cheek brushing against the back of his hand.

“Can you drive me home so I can get my stuff?” you asked softly. Frankie nodded and turned on the truck.

~*~

You were a ball of anxiety as Frankie pulled into the complex’s parking lot. Kurt’s car was already in the spot reserved for your apartment, sending you to the verge of a full-blown panic attack. You squeezed your eyes shut and counted to ten, then backwards from ten. Distantly, you felt Manny take hold of one of your hands.

“You’ve got this.” Manny’s voice sounded far away. “Francisco and I are behind you one hundred percent.”

“You’re calling the shots,” Frankie said, touching your arm. His hand was warm and calloused, and you didn’t know why that observation seemed to be at the forefront of your mind, but it was. You opened your eyes and met Frankie’s warm brown ones, suddenly feeling infinitely stronger.

You told them what you wanted to do – for you to go in by yourself and for them to wait outside the door, plug their ears if necessary, only come in if they felt like you were in any actual danger. Frankie’s face darkened at this, but to your relief he didn’t protest your plan.

You felt stronger with the two of them behind you. Every single step towards your apartment door solidified your resolve that this was the right thing, that this relationship hadn’t made you happy, fulfilled, in years. The click of your key in the door felt like one of finality.

Kurt sat on the couch, glaring at you. You left the door open a crack as you walked in, hovering by the dining table. You took him in fully and came to the conclusion that you were no longer attracted to this man at all. His skin was reddened by the sun, pale patches around his light blue eyes. His thin mouth was curled into a sneer.

“Care to explain what the fuck you’ve been doing while I was gone?” he said.

“Not really, no.” You replied. “Here’s the thing, Kurtis, you don’t get to go out with your friends for the whole weekend doing who-knows-what then turn around and get angry at me for spending time with the only friend from school that I still have! That’s not fair.”

“And who’s fault is that? You’re the one who pushed them all away!” Kurt stood up and advanced towards you. Normally, you would have taken a step backwards, given him space, but this time you stood your ground, clenching your fists tightly to stop them shaking.

“I’m still allowed to have a social life,” you said, struggling to keep your tone even. Kurt rolled his eyes.

“If you wanna go out and act like a fucking whore-“

“Think what you want, Kurt,” you said, “it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m leaving. You can’t stop me.”

Kurt spluttered for a moment, turning a shade of deep red. “Like fucking HELL you’re leaving me, you bitch!”

“I am!” you shot back. He was only a few inches from you now, so close his breath was hot on your face. “I’m miserable, I don’t love you anymore, and I’m done. I’ve been done for so long I can’t remember a time I was fully invested in this relationship! I deserve better! I deserve love that doesn’t make me so sad it hurts, and I can’t have that with you.”

Kurt’s face twisted into an ugly contortion of the features you once found perfect. “No. Nobody can love you the way I do! Nobody can understand you like I do! If you leave, I won’t want to live anymore. Don’t you remember? I can’t live without you!”

“Then go to a fucking hospital!” you snapped, moving to get past him. Kurt grabbed your wrist tightly. His grip was like a vice, cutting off blood supply to your fingers.

“Let go!” you begged. Kurt tugged you closer, spittle forming at the corners of his mouth, your noses almost touching. He’s going to kill me. Oh my god, he’s actually going to kill me. You saw movement by the door out of the corner of your eye, and your heart swelled.

“You heard her,” Frankie said, “let her go.”

Kurt didn’t let go, but instead gripped harder. He’s completely lost it, you thought dimly, the expression Kurt wore sending true fear into your heart.

“And just who the fuck are you?” Kurt demanded.

“Let her go,” Frankie repeated. He didn’t raise his voice, but you could still hear the power it held. Kurt scoffed and spat at Frankie’s feet.

“This is an issue between me and my girlfriend, now get out of my apartment before I make you.”

Frankie didn’t reply, instead, he strode forward, pushed the sleeves of his flannel over shirt up as he did. Kurt didn’t wait. He pushed you hard against the kitchen bench, knocking the breath out of you and sending a shot of pain through your back, and moved to meet Frankie in the middle of the room.

It happened in an instant, blink and you miss it. Frankie swung, his fist connecting with Kurt’s jaw with a sickening crunch. Kurt went down like a lead balloon, howling as he collapsed on the floor. Frankie stood over him, breathing hard through his nose.

Manny ran forward to help you, holding you to him like the protective brother you had always wished for. It took you a few moments to realise you were shaking, out of fear or adrenaline you didn’t know.

“Come on,” he whispered soothingly, “we gotta get your stuff.” You nodded and let him help you up. You didn’t feel like you were connected with your body like you were watching the whole thing through a separate set of eyes. You saw Frankie standing over Kurt, arms crossed and boot pressing into Kurt’s chest.

Manny held your hand as you walked to your bedroom. You were distantly aware of the aching in your body, your back, and wrist especially. It was Manny who packed your bag for you, grabbing anything he thought you might need. The whole thing was done in less than ten minutes. Before you left you turned to face Kurt.

“I’ll be back sometime this week to get the rest of my stuff. Do not contact me.”

You felt your strength returning to you as you left with Frankie and Manny with you. For the first time in a long time, you felt like you could breathe.

Taglist: @hnt-escape @sharkbait77 @1800-fight-me @annathewitch @darnitdraco @frankiecatfish @punkerthanpascal @nakhudanyx @gracie7209 @quica-quica-quica @pintsizemama @phoenix-of-loki