#i remember i had this whole plan to songfic an entire album

[elvisqueso]

OKAY.

Excerpt from Songs For Distingue Lovers, Chapter 1: Day In, Day Out

Midoriko had told her how it would happen. Precedent set forth by Kikyo dictated the manner, but the result would be the same as any other rejuvenating being: when her body expires, it will be engulfed in flame, and from the ashes she’ll emerge again, a babe as fresh as any newborn. As the cycles draw on, the time between will shorten, and eventually her soul will extinguish as well, and divest from the Wheel. What happens then, no one can rightly say, for it will be her journey alone.

It's strange, the passage of her first life this way. Because time moves the same as it always meant to for her, and she ages with Sango and with Miroku, and she watches Rin grow into a woman and have children of her own. Inu Yasha knows about her change, because she doesn’t like to hide anything from him and just as she’d promised to stay by his side, he promises to stay by hers. And so, as her body slows and, finally, she feels a sweet burning underneath her skin, she calls Inu Yasha to her side as the flames come up and burn away the old body.

And then her second life begins. She isn’t a babe so much as she is, perhaps, the age of the newly aware toddler. It was like falling asleep and waking up. And when her eyes opened there was her friend, brushing the ashes from her and marveling at the newness of her scent.

[ladyblastexecution]

Track 1 from the “Lost on You” Songfic Collection

Inpired by the album Lost On You by LP.

Wordcount: 3,9k

Genre: Angst, fluffy ending

Warnings: Mentions of adultery, implications of nsfw. 

A/N: For the lovely @tamcitrus​​ whose love for Kirishima is as big as my thirst for angst. <3 ily

We are kneeling at the river’s edge and tempting All the steps to follow closer right behind Is it only when you feel a part is empty That it’s gnawing at the corners of your mind

Your ringtone filled the apartment.

Kirishima’s Hands itched to grab his phone from the nightstand. No matter how hard he tried to ignore it, his soul was begging him to answer your texts.

Even though you were probably having dinner with your husband, you still stole a few of his moments and gifted them to Kirishima. A sick sense of pride swelled in his chest and he felt sick to his stomach.

He made a promise to himself when you vanished from his apartment the morning after without even a “good bye”, leaving him full of shame and regret for the few hours of your attention.

He had set his mind; he was no longer going to meet up with you in the middle of the night, when you were lonely and desperate for affection, to soothe your hurt soul with his gentle fingertips and soft praises. It wasn’t fair for him or your spouse.

It didn’t matter to him if the relationships was forced upon you for a publicity stunt and financial convenience, you still had a compromise with your partner, Kirishima knew him personally and he didn’t deserve the infidelity both of you were bestowing upon him. That’s what he repeated in his head like a mantra.

But the Hero had a soft spot for you.

Ever since you both attended the UA together, he was always infatuated with your pretty, dazzling eyes. His luck, however, was always a penny too short.

With you hopelessly pinning after Bakugo, he was pushed to the Friendzone with a force that made his head spin and he could only watch from the sidelines as your heart was shattered when his friend rejected you over and over again. You only saw him as nothing more than a friend and another Call Of Duty player to team up with, and he continued that awful vice of grabbing any little piece of affection he could get from you.

Years went on and the relationship you two shared got fondler, with never-ending sleep over and hang outs. When he was finally ready to confess hi feeling to you, after he had etablihed himself as a known Hero just like you, you came barreling into his house eyes moist and shaking shoulders.

“I’m getting married Kirishima...”

Those four words were enough to give him nightmares for months.

Just like that, his chances were gone, as if they were a candle someone blew out.

He was afraid he might lose you. The new domestic life you now had left little to no time to spare with him, and at first it was like that. The wedding was grand, and you looked beautiful in a wedding gown you did not choose yourself, and in a grand Hotel that didn’t fit your style. The publicity stunt was huge, and the attention both of you and your husband’s company got was incredible, borderline ridiculous.

It wasn’t even after three months of almost complete silence from you, when the affair started.

An ugly fight with your manager had broken out and you found yourself in his doorstep instead of your big comfortable home, with your loving spouse. Kirishima was shocked when you entered and started going off about everything.

“Then... why don’t you jut divorce?” He had said trying to make the thrill he got from the idea unnoticed.

“I can’t do that to Michael... The idea wasn’t mine, and I woudn’’t have married him on y own accord, but he’s just so nice to me, and I think he loves me... Maybe with sometime I Can love him too.”

He had loved you for longer than your spouse. And yet, no matter how angry he was at the situation, his despise could never be directed thowards you. Kirishima knew everything could be so much easier if his stubborn heart could just give up on the hope it had on the possibility of being with you in a future.

He had to do a 180°, if he kept this up for much longer who knew how long his heart could take it.

He might lose you, but the words Bakugo said to him, kept replaying into his head.

“Start loving yourself a little bit more, Shitty hair. This chick is going to be the death of you.”

His friend was looking out to him in his own way, the harsh words he used were hi way of telling him what he needed to hear. If the grumpy Katsuki, who always stayed out of other’s business, was snooping around in Kirishima’s love life then he noticed something was seriously wrong.

His mind was set. When you entered through his door, he would tell you it was over. On behalf of his mental stability.

With a simple “yeah, I’m home” text, he started to mentally prepare up for when you got there.

It is not clear why we choose the fire pathway Where we end is not the way that we had planned

The Knock on the door filled him with equal amounts of shame and excitement. Kirishima’s heart leapt inside his chest when he heard your soft voice calling his name with a waver in it.

Opening up and seeing you there, covered in rain with your lower lip trembling was all it took for Kirishima’s resolve to come crumbling down .

“Eiji...” A sob interrupted whatever you would say, the emotion swirling inside of you choking the air out of your lungs. Closing your eyes tightly as you entered the home, still mindful of not messing the carpet, you circled his waist with your arms when you were in the middle of kicking off your shoes.

Your entire body rocked with heavy sobs, and Kirishima could feel a tight fist shattering his heart as if it was made of wet sand, collapsing into itself with painful stabs.

Words seemed to leave both of your brains when your chests were tightly pressed together, so Kirishima scooped you up in his arms, noticing how cold your skin felt. He walked into his room and you wasted no time to burrow your forehead into his neck, nuzzling your nose into the soft skin of his clavicle. Your vanilla scented shampoo infiltrated into his nose and he remembered all the times he woke up to an empty space next to him, where the lingering familiar smell on his pillow was the only proof he had that it wasn’t a dream.

His chest throbbed for his own heartache this time, and for once in his life he tried to prioritize himself other than you. He left you on the ground and couldn’t meet your eyes.

He Loved you, but in that exact moment, the self pity was almost consuming his whole mind. A frown settled itself into his face and his eyes found your bare feet, glistening with the residual rain that had soaked your shoes as you ran all the way to his house. He could almost feel your watery eyes gazing estranged at him.

“Eiji...?” He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply through his nose upon hearing his nickname. “Are you okay?”

No.

He was not okay.

He couldn’t reply honestly. His heart was torn in two. “Selfish” was the only adjective that seemed to fit him. He felt selfish if he ignored your broken state and he was selfish if he gave into his infatuation, ignoring the fat you had someone waiting for you at home. A home where he had no place in.

It took him several moments to recompose, too lost in his mind to snap out of the spiraling gloomy thoughts. The only thing that successfully brought him out of his stupor was the icy touch of your fingers cupping his cheek.

Surprised, Kirishima’s head snapped up, and he found your eyes boring into his face, jumping around his features trying to decipher what was wrong. He needed to push you away, kick you out and send back to your loving husband and then spend the next three days under the steaming hot rain of the shower trying to scrub the reminders of your touch from his skin.

It wasn’t healthy. He could feel the guilt taking a toll on his body, adding years to his appearance and pain to his joints, almost as if the heavyweight of it sinking his heart was physically too much for the great Red Riot to whisthold.

His mind never failed to remind him that cutting ties with you was the way to go, the most reasonable decision. But every time he pictured the conversation in his mind, with your eyes misting over with hurt and his big boy words getting tangled in his tongue, he couldn’t help the sneaking thought of “Maybe...”.

Maybe it wasn’t that bad. Maybe Kirishima could stand being the lover for a while, maybe you would finally confess your feeling towards him and just maybe you would finally get divorced.

But then again. Maybe he was just being foolish.

I will ask you for mercy

I will come to you blind

Kirishima’s hand enveloped your own in a loose grip and he removed it from his face.

“Please don’t...I-I’m Sorry but...” swallowing down the knot in his throat, he forced his eyes to meet yours. “I don’t think I Can keep doing this (y/n).” He groaned internally over how weak the sentence came out of his lips.

Taking a step back, you watched him intently without responding at his statement. His pulse rang in his ears as he ran a hand through his crimson locks. He pressed his lids together with forced when in a flash images of you and your husband flooded his mind. He was desperate to make it go away, but it was too late, his consciousness was reminding him of every single picture of the two of you together that was ever posted online, with your loving eyes gazing up into a pair that weren’t Kirishima’s and the gentle smiles he would never have outside the four walls that surrounded his bedroom.

“Hey...” You said, with a tone he had used many times before when trying to coax someone he had saved. He hated that tone in your voice, it made him feel weak and helpless, which in this situation he knew for a fact he was. “Eiji... Talk to me.”

He gazed up into your face, waiting to find pity swarming in them, but he found nothing other than concern.

“It’s just I-...” How could he say what he was wishing out loud?. His actions and hopes were not those of a hero. “I...” He struggled again, and when his throat failed him you brought him into your embrace.

“Shh... It’s okay, we can discuss it later if it’ too much...” He wanted to hate you for how you had bewitched him, if he hadn’t known you for so long, he would’ve believed your quirk was some kind of mental control over feelings. That was the only logical explanation to his behaviour.

Kirishima nuzzled hi nose against your neck, cheek pressed in your shoulder, feeling the warmth of your skin returning to you. Sighing softly, he tightened his hold on you.

What you’ll see is the worst me Not the last of my kind

If he was seeing the whole situation from outside, he would be disgusted by it all.

It wasn’t unusual that someone cheated, and many people were in his same position, not going too far he knew a few of his friends were also the receiving end of a taken person’s affair, but that didn’t ease his heavy heart.

He was afraid of what you would think of him. Did you see him as nothing more than just your lover? Someone to rely on when the things in your marriage got boring and plain?

He hoped that wasn’t the case, “devastated”. couldn’t beging to express how he would feel. The thought of you only liking him as nothing more than an object to release your sexual frustration on made his stomach drop.

“I’m sorry...” His voice was muffled by the wet fabric of your shirt. “I Don’t know what came over me...” He could feel the tears gathering in his eyes as his vision of your skin blurred.

“Hey, Don’t worry Eiji,” Your hand went into his hair and tangled in the locks of his nape, massaging his scalp. “You’re allowed to be upset babe...”

Goosebumps erupted in his skin when the pet name slipped from your lips. You never called him anything else besides Eiji or Red Riot, and it felt like a caress to his torn soul.

He separated from you and without a breath to catch he crashed his lips into yours, earning a startled moan from your lips.

Kirishima blocked the outside world with your mouth, and he was relieved when you melted into his touch.

Ooh In the muddy water we’re falling Ooh In the muddy water we’re crawling Holds me down

How the both of you ended in between his sheets, even when he was convinced he had met up with you to only end whatever you two had was a question he didn’t want answered.

Your clothes fell to the floor and in the blink of an eye he was on top of you, skin flushed and lips swollen from your kisses.

Kirishima hesitated for a second above you, his arms on each side of your head locked up and the air got stuck inside, his eyes adverted yours, skin crawling with doubt. Sensing his turmoil, you grabbed his neck and brought him in for a searing kiss that evaporated almost every thought that didn’t revolve around you from his mind.

Almost.

His body fitting like a puzzle piece against your own was a bliss.

He tried not to think if your spouse fit in the same way, but the thought was gnawing at the back of your mind. His chest felt tight, as if a building had fell on top of him, and his quirk was futile to protect him .

The tears never abandoned is eyes, and now they were even more close to pour from him. He didn’t want you to see him like that, so he hid his face in between your breast, holding his breath until he could see black dots invading his vision.

You knew him like nobody else, and without the need for him to voice over his concerns, with strength that came with being a pro hero you flipped the positions with ease.

Imprisoned by your legs on each side of his hips Kirishima could only stare with wide eyes full of adoration how you leaned down and peppered feather like kisses onto his face, showering him with affection and love he so much needed .

the only problem was that your affection only made him love you harder, and his love for you was killing him.

Ooh, I will ask you for mercy

I will come to you blind What you’ll see is the worst me I’m not the last of my kind

The minutes kept passing, and the temperature in the room rose steadily.

With his hands buried deep into your hair and his lips tightly pressed against your pulse with a passion that turned your knees into jelly, Kirishima plead to whoever deity that was watching to have compassion.

He was just a man in love, but he knew that was no excuse.

He could never feel proud of his actions, but the deep need inside of him that always seemed to drag him back to you kept driving him through the frenzy of desire that always startled him when both of your lips met his

Hours passed and only when the both of you had used all your energy and were left with short panting breaths and tremor recorring your bodies, on a pile of sweating limbs and sticky skin, Kirishima collapsed on top of you.

Flashback of every time he woke up to an empty bed planted the seed of fear once more in his chest. He didn’t want the story to repeat itself, like a broken record. He wished he could have you in the way he longed for. To wake up next to you and have coffee together, and maybe some pancakes Bakugo taught how to cook. Just spending a lazy morning sprawled next to you, his black sheets covering you, and maybe even have your own toothbrush in his bathroom, so you wouldn’t have to be insecure about your morning breath. The showers the both of you could share, him massaging your scalp with that heavenly vanilla scented shampoo you loved so much.

Kirishima could feel your breath slowing down, the lazy rising of your chest lulling him to sleep. With a foggy mind and exhausted emotions, his arm circled your waist with a vice grip, subconsciously trying to make you stay forever by his side. Kirishima nuzzled your shoulder and his leg went on top of yours, holding onto you like a lifeline he needed in the sea of despair he seemed to float around for a while now.

“Don’t go...” He mumbled with a small whiny voice, half hoping you would listen and half hoping you couldn’t notice how needy he was for a piece of your heart. He didn’t hear a response from you, slipping into the void of slumber, he never noticed the stop in your breath or the way your hand found his in between your chests.

Ooh Don’t fail me now Put your arms around me and pull me out

The soft morning light entered through his open blinds, heating up the skin on his bare back

His brain was groggy, and he felt his legs burn with a familiar ache. When he acknowledge the rest of his body, he remembered the moments you two had spent together the night before and he refused to open his eyes, not wanting to see the empty space next to him.

Sighing, he shifted in bed, his arm reaching across the bed to prove his theory right, desperately hoping he was wrong. The only thing he could feel under his fingertips was the deserted pace you had occupied when he had fallen asleep.

If his soul still had a little part unbroken, now it was simply shattered, the pieces of his heart falling to the ground at the same pace his tears cascaded down his cheeks.

He tried to contain back a sob, but he no longer had the strength to do so. The sound of his ragged breath was drowning the outside world. He was a pro hero who was crying over being a second choice. That wasn’t manly at all.

He felt so ashamed now, his desperate pleads for you to choose him had fell on deaf ears. You had left him once more alone to pick the broken pieces of his being that you threw into the ground without a second thought.

The creaking of the door opening snapped his attention. If a thief had entered, he had no will to fight him off, the most precious thing for him had left once more.

His bloodshot teary eyes met yours and he gasped.

You stood there, a tray with two mugs of coffee and a plate of pancakes in your hands. His shirt pooling over your body covering your exposed skin, bare legs peaking from under it. Your hair was a mess, but it was the prettiest mess he had ever seen in his life.

Because it was a mess that had stayed the night and now was pampering with breakfast in bed.

Kirishima sat up in the bed fast as lighting, blood rushing down making him dizzy, his eyes going black for a second, not able to see you and he could almost feel the panic rising up his throat, Kirishima was afraid that if he lost sight of you for only a fraction of a second you would vanish.

When his eye functioned again, there you were, kneeling besides his side of the bed. The marks on your neck he had left with his sharp theet a furious shade of red, just like his hair. Your expression hold concern beyond measure.

“Hey... Baby what’s wrong?” You cooed, stroking his cheeks and taking the messy locks of hair away from his face. “Eiji...?”

His brain had short-circuited. He now understood the downside of Kaminari’s quirk. He felt dumbstruked under your eyes that shone under the morning light.

Kicking the sheets off of his body, he knelt down in front of you and held you close to his chest. The tears kept falling, but now they were those of relief.

“You stayed...” He whispered against your hair.

Nodding your head, you separated a little to see his face.

“Yeah... That’s actually something I wanted to talk to you about.” You started, a small smile dancing on your lips. “I’m starting the paperwork to make the divorce official. I sat down yesterday and talked to Michael about our marriege and be both agreed it was the best solution...” Your looked timidly up to him.

“What...?” Was he dreaming? Thi couldn’t be real “Why...?”

“Come on Eiji... I thought I made it pretty obvious.” Your eyes cast to the side, a nervous tic he had learned to recognize. You took a leveling breath and grabbed his hands. “I’ve been in love with you for quite some time now... and I just couldn’t keep this up, I want all of you Kirishima, not just a few hours a month.”

If you were waiting for a verbal response, he oudn’t give you one.

The only thing that felt right was envelop you in a bear hug and guide you to the bed once more, the tray long forgotten on the floor next to the bed.

Ooh I know I’m found With your arms around me, oh save me now

As the both of you were sprawled on his couch, Kirishima felt lighter, almost as if his body was filled with clouds and he could just float away with a single breeze. It was a good change from the previous month where his shoulders weighting the world.

You were sitting on the couch with his head on your lap, running your fingers through his hair as you scrolled through social media. His arms imprisoned your waist and his face was pressing against your stomach. The scent of his detergent had replace the one you used and the giddy sensation he got from that single fact made him blush.

Thinking back at the months of shared affairs, he noticed how far the two of you had come, and how much he endure just to maybe have what he did in that exact moment with you.

“Hey... (Y/n)?” He softly asked. When your hum filled his ears, and your phone was discarded to give him your full attention, he pronounced the words he had stuck in his throat for years now. “I love you.”

A soft smile pulled the corner of your lips, and Kirishima rolled onto his back to get a better look of it. Extending his hand and caressing your face, he noticed how easier it was to breathe.

The time he spent in that cold and ugly place was worth it, because in the end, you were there, pulling him out of the muddy waters that threatened to drown him.