#i remember first liking your art a year ago (actually only about a week off now lol) when it crossed my dash for the first (/only) time

[peridots-pixiwolf]

[Start ID. A drawing of @mieczmaszyna 's character Izzy. In the words of its creator, Izzy is a humanoid robot with a white chassis, oval head, black headset, square green glasses, claws, and a tail resembling a cable plug. Ai wears a cowboy hat, vest decorated by a star and bottle cap, pants with tassels, spurred boots, and a red bandanna. He's viewed from the side, kicking up one leg and holding both arms out in front of itself to shoot finger guns, looking excited and rather jaunty. The background is a dull yellow-green, muddied by the warm reddish tone of the drawing, and in paler green are the words "BANG BANG!!" by ais arms. End ID]

robot cowboy!!!

[lazykim12]

Redemption Au! Eli Shane! (and I’m officially back 😭🙏)

. . .

Okay…so i usually disappear after a while after posting sometimes depending, but i kinda lost motivation with anything and been focused on other things in life and i guess i kinda lost interest in posting for a while…But im back! And determined to finish this Au storyline! If I can call it that- but! I’m planning on finishing Eli and some other info about the Au before I officially make a fanfic about it! Maybe…I’m not sure! But I will dive deeper into that as I’m thinking of maybe doing a comic instead! I thought I had made up my mind but apparently not😭 but after this I’m going to actually post fan art and other things!

Oh and I will think about doing FNAF or other fan arts for others so only time will tell I guess-

Anyways here’s Eli!

Eli is slightly different to his counterpart but there isn’t much! (Other than being a bit more stronger and better trained-)

He still is a bubbly, dorky Guy who loves puns..though sometimes twist takes that title and is more dorky than him- but Eli is still the same, but he’s doing a lot better in this Au! He’s a bit more of a thinker during his plans and because of Au Blakk’s training, he is even harder to defeat (depending on the enemy) he is very good in combat training due to Blakk and with a bit of the incredible’s master training, he’s well more experienced compared to his Cannon Counter part!

Still clumsy though sometimes, like his dad😭

LORE

Eli grew up in what he considered a happy life!

Well sort of..he had faded memories of slightly meeting blakk but they blurred since he was nearly about to become a toddler during that time. His relationship with his mom was…complicated, at times she was sweet and caring but as he grew up, he could feel her neglect towards him, and could often see her on the couch passed out from her drinking…So at age 5, he remembered his father divorcing his mom. He doesn’t remember much from that day, but he could remember his mother just not caring and leaving through the door..

He sometimes misses her..

And sometimes he doesn’t.

Growing up, he was raised pretty constantly by his father, even if there were some days he didn’t see Will, will always made sure to make up for that time, never wanting to be away for too long in his child’s life..he’d even put off weeks of being a Shane to spend time with Eli, so for most of Eli’s childhood, will Shane was never really absent or gone for too long!

And even if he was Eli always was patient.

Eli doesn’t remember much about his other family, the only other family he’s ever been around or interacted with is his uncle and aunts from his mom side, and his grandma, but never from his father’s side..expect uncle jimmo once or twice.

. . .

Already Will began to break 2 rules of the Shane code, and was beginning, in his family’s mind..Bringing shame into the family, which is also why Will cut communication with them a long time ago.

To Will’s family and the Shane code book, He broke one of the very first rules ever made, ‘never disrespect your legacy.’

A rule placed for the Shane’s of upcoming years to never not do your work, whatever you had to do was important and no distractions were allowed.

So will shane cutting off his days to spend time with his family, friends, putting the Shane work aside, broke the rule and made his uncle, mother and father and other relatives despise him more.

The second rule he broke was put at the last, and was always reminded of each Shane who would soon step up and take the Bandoleer and blaster for themselves.

‘Be loyal to your training’

By putting this rule, the Shane family for ages have always trained their children, whoever would take the place of the Shane role, would have to train hard, or everyday, and their children too.

It was a custom once the child turned 6, they would begin Shane children, it was a must, so they would be more conscious and remember things better.

. . .

Will easily broke this rule, and he didn’t feel bad, yet a bit guilty about it, but if given the choice again, he would gladly

Do it again.

Once Eli turned 6, he never trained him, he made sure he had a playful childhood, and this caused anger through the Shane family, as arguments went back and forth sometimes between some relatives.

Will Shane made SURE Eli focused on school, friends, playing, everything expect the Shane stuff, he didn’t want to make Eli feel like he needed to be successful or be proven worthy, he was only a child, he shouldn't have had to carry that burden..especially the one will carried so long ago when he was a child himself.

. . .

Eli had a fun childhood in his opinion, and the time he was told more about Slugterra finally was when he was 10 years old, since his time was nearing, but Will wanted to take a slow approach, he didn’t want to pressure Eli or make him think that ‘oh! I have to be a Shane!..I have to work had to prove myself to my dad and focus on only this..”

Will made sure to give Eli other ideas, so he didn’t think he had to be a Shane.

. . .

Eli felt comfortable enough with deciding to become a Shane, not due to over pressure, wanting to prove to his father, but because he wanted to help people.

He made the choice himself rather than being forced or the role being pushed upon him..

. . .

HOW HE IS LIKE-

Eli is bubbly and all about just like his cannon self, Loves puns, but he is more serious in a way due to blakk, not in a bad or cold way, just so he takes things with more consideration, is more quick and clever, and is a fair and well fighter.

He thinks and usually half his plans work really well due to blakk’s thinking passing onto him sometimes during training.

(He’s still his dad son though..😅)

Will slip up and be a bit clumsy at times, but he’s a pretty advanced slugslinger and fighter. Is more advanced in a way compared to his counter part. Still a dorky guy, Trixie makes sure he doesn’t do anything stupid still, while kord and Eli prank each other and go into full warzone …

He has a good heart, and it’s more motivated to grow with blakk’s training, and with his childhood, especially with the way Will raised him. Will always made sure to teach him a lot about compassion, how to give instead of take and to Procter everything in Slugterra, the slugs, the people, everyone, safe others from bad ones, still show remorse and kindness.

He cares deeply about blakk (sees him as an uncle/father figure sometimes)

He’s genuinely more brightful! Though after his dad is saved he feels a lot better, though some final battle happens kinda scars him a little but he is doing fine!

(He also got the mouth scar from some training from blakk, proud of his scar like twist, just a bit disappointed he didn’t get it from an actual slug slinging duel.💀)

Ahsuhsiahejwj SOO THATS ELI’S LORE FOR NOW- Sorry for the long disappearances, I’ll try better this month and April hopefully 🙏 alright see yall next time, peace!

[soracities]

Your account is absolutely wonderful.. I am assuming that it takes a lot of time and dedication to absorb so much art... I find myself drifting away, always exhausted from my job... So I guess my question is what do you do for work and how do you stay inspired?

most of my time is spent child-minding and while that has left me with very little time to read and watch the things i want--and can be quite exhausting in and of itself--i think there is a little trade-off in that children keep you attentive to the world around you in a way you would not otherwise be, if only because you have to be that attentive to answer all their countless questions. so in a sense there is some inspiration i glean from that.

otherwise, i think this blog sometimes does give off the impression that i'm more well-read than i actually am; in reality, i dance on the surface of a lot of artworks but am passionate about maybe a tiny handful of works, and maybe, like, two painters. i have a "to watch" list that far exceeds my lifespan given that i actually watch, maybe, 3 movies a year. i have finished one (short) book since 2023 started and it took me six months to read that. the books that i've managed to read over the years, i've read chiefly in bursts and almost always in time periods where i was lucky enough in that i didn't have much to occupy me; even then, i'm aware i didn't read as much as i could have done with the time i had, but i'm also the kind of person who cannot devour book after book endlessly, either--i have a very clear saturation point, after which i need to do something different.

i think this blog, more than anything else, is a kind of repository of all the little fragments of thoughts or books or the world that interest and catch me and that i want to keep, but what i actually spend time with and dive into makes up an absolutely miniscule fraction of that. there have been long months (and years) where i did not have it in me to maintain any kind of sustained attention to reading or poetry, but i think the ability to do so is a huge, often unacknowledged, priviliege that requires not just time and economic security, but also mental clarity. i'm saying this to stress that what you feel, especially with whatever demands your job makes on you, is entirely normal and not anything to be ashamed of: the toll bills take, that laundry takes, that cooking and cleaning and countless other errands take are not to be underestimated when you go into them already sapped of most of your reserves in the first place.

it's something i've felt quite often (and still do); carving out the time to read as much or as often as i would like to does require dedication which i do not always have the energy for. but i think for me, to answer your question regarding inspiration, especially during the times when i'm not reading anything, inspiration is in paying as much attention as i can to the world around me, no matter how tiny the details are. there's a quote by william stafford where he talks about the ability to have "one vivid morning" and then "chain myself to it for fifty years". i don't have any set "philosophy" on life, but that is one thing i have always lived by: i still remember a single razor of light i saw on the railway tracks one morning a year ago which caught me by surprise, or the time on the bus when the setting sun filled the top deck and i knew then by the colour of it that summer was coming, or when i got up close to a patch of damp moss to see all its tiny little hairs more clearly, or one afternoon five years or so ago when i bought some loose pears from a corner shop and they were the sweetest, most-melt-in-the-mouth-juiciest pears i'd ever had....i can obsess over the light through a window over and over and over again no matter how often i see it. my mother put some lilies in a vase in the living room a few weeks ago and the entire time i was enraptured with how the scent hit me everytime i'd come into that room. even after more than a week they still enraptured me; each time was like i discovered them all over again and that brightened my mood so immeasurably.

for me inspiration is chiefly about recognizing the things that bring me joy and then holding them as closely as i can. there's a game i've started playing if i'm on a long bus trip where i take the number of a random bus stop i pass and if it's lower than 2020 i google what events happened in that year and pick the one that interests me most: if i'm going to be on my phone anyway, i will be on it in a way that aligns with what i already enjoy (FACTS!) and won't drain me (social media). when i don't have the energy to finish or even pick up a book, i'm subscribed to sites like Aeon, Ordinary Plots, Diaries of Note, or grieftolight on instagram (shoutout to forever beloved @firstfullmoon doing the lord's work with that account, truly), or podcasts i like, which allow me to read or experience little bits and pieces here and there without the pressure or anxiety-inducing commitment. if there is a poem i love i try to spend as much time with it as i can, which often just takes the form of me writing it down (by hand, usually-- that part is important) into a ledger of poems i keep which i can return to whenever i want, underlining my favourite parts or just rereading what spoke to me (i also love going to exhibits or museums (which, luckily, are mostly free where i live) or taking note of all the random bits of street art i see)

a year or so ago i also started, and this has changed my life, to copy down some of my favourite quotes i've reblogged onto little cue cards and stick them on the wall by my bed. some are poems, some are bits of novels or scraps of philosophy, some are motivational tidbits, but all of them are things i want to be reminded of. it helps me remember the lines i most want to keep and also grounds me in an odd way, but more than that, it just makes me happy. if i'm doom-scrolling, or having a rough evening, i can turn to that wall and read the things that mean most to me.

i don't know if any of this helps, and i'm conscious of not putting these out there as a cure-all because i'm very aware of how quickly, and how easily, this society and its set-up can drain you. i am, though, a staunch proponent of approaching art (any kind) and your engagement with it from a place and a pace that is true to you, before anything else, and that includes taking into account your own circumstances and what would bring you the most enjoyment within the means you have available to you: sometimes that's a 20 minute radio interview about blackholes, sometimes it's counting how many birds you pass as you walk through the park, sometimes it's 150 page novella it takes you half a year to finish. whatever it may look like, center your own pleasure first. i hope this can give you something, anon ♡

[yumeparadox]

Grand Fest Recollections. Thank You For Two Years!

My heart feels so heavy today. As I woke up to see a sunrise that matched the one we finally have in Splatoon 3, reality settled in.

Life has to go back to normal after a splatfest weekend but this celebration truly changed everything.

The Grand Festival was such a wonderful celebration of Splatoon in its entirety. 

I felt the most unbridled joy experiencing that magic brought to the in-game performances, the live renditions of each song in carefully crafted set-lists and seeing Liquid Sunshine choreography and its vibrancy for the first time.

On and off stream the three stages are where I spent the most time during Grand Fest when I could. I sat around the venue and just took in the details of the concerts and the setting; enjoying that moment in time was how I kept myself grounded.

But I think what had me start to unravel is realizing that I let the actual splatfest battle experience slip away.

I’d seen a Twitter comment on Sunday while I was taking pictures of Three Wishes that mentioned again how we would be able to return to the venue because of a datamine (granted I knew of this from months ago) about the amiibos.

I had no idea when the feature would drop and when we would be able to revisit the Grand Festival Grounds again. It could have been a week from now for all I knew. 

We got the confirmation almost instantaneously. I was overjoyed to be able to go right back but I also felt a little ridiculous for not playing the fest more if this would be the case.

I want to give a massive thank you to everyone who did play matches with me for Team Present though—especially my homies @Chandlier1229, @mxntymoon, @semisentientseafood, @epicyoshimaster and @kosirenn

Big ups to @CJHyperfresh and @Jasbiskus for inviting myself and my partner @squidryder to collab on an amazing stream. It was an unforgettable time and we had so many laughs.

Thank you Ryder for joining me in Tricolor and reacting to the results! You make me smile so much and your presence is a present.

Emotions were high throughout this whole event for a lot of us but personally, I wasn’t able to fully process it until things were ending.

I know I got overwhelmed with the vastness of everything and other more existential thoughts. So, I can only imagine what developing all of this was like.

Admittedly, I felt my reaction to Three Wishes was lackluster. The whole reason I went for an IRL stream was in case I didn’t say much and so that some emotion was visible. 

I cried the first time I heard the song and saw the lyrics but the tears weren’t happening that Saturday.

Granted, there’s a lot happening the first time you experience Three Wishes in-game, but the way the VOD turned out is something I can’t change much like my splatfest team.

While I had my reasoning for joining Team Present, perhaps I was too logical about it. Although that’s what the theme asks of you, I can’t help but lament on this a little bit. I want to work through this feeling.

I went in thinking that the present is where I can experience all of time. It’s a difficult concept and a part of me wishes I had treated it differently. Seeing clips from people playing the splatfest also got me in my feels, too. I wonder if I did enough.

As someone who chose Team Marie and fawns over her the most (Frye is probably a close second at this point), I thought about joining Past simply because she was fighting alongside Callie this time. 

The Squid Sisters had the most compelling splatfest art by far for the event and I know their Grand Fest outfits were my favorite. 

Their music saved me from the moment I played my first Splatoon 1 splatfest. I cried over the Plaza, over seeing them back in the DLC, over hearing City of Color leitmotifs to this day.

The Rainbow Color Inkantation version of it has so much urgency and emotion in the vocals, as if they’re urging you to remember them and fight for the past.

That’s not to say Off the Hook isn’t also meaningful to me, however. They are the reason I was able to pursue voice acting as a hobby in the first place, starting out with voicing over their splatfest dialogue. 

And of course, we all know their formation is still so closely linked to the Squid Sisters existing. Anyone who watches my streams can tell which group I go crazy over the most but choosing in terms of the passage of time may not let your choices align and check both boxes. I agonized over teams for a while.

Ultimately, I stuck to the question as best I could. 

Which is the most important to you?

Experiencing the now. Finally reaching that promised day. 

My memories are never super clear for me unless I preserve them in some form of writing, video or photo. Skill issue on my part but all brains are different. 

So, I repeated this a lot that fateful weekend: the present moment will always become the past so make it count. Choosing one doesn’t mean the other isn’t important but again it was truly difficult.

My past self got me where I am now and every decision I make in the present sets me up for success in the future. 

I grew up hearing that we don’t know what tomorrow looks like and you can’t obsess over it. Although, when you have good things to look forward to you can’t help but anticipate how they’ll play out. 

Past, present and future are intertwined and if you look at the splatfest theme graphic, you’ll see that all the ink swirls connect despite being different colors.

I think that’s why they called the second night of the Grand Festival the Day of Unity. We were all together to witness that performance regardless of team choice.

Music will always be the core of Splatoon and it will carry on across the sea of time, imbued by our passions and joys.

Good games, well played to everyone! I’m really grateful to have been here and seen every splatfest from the beginning this time around. Splatoon has been with me through every season of my life and it's ink-redible.

I have so much appreciation for everyone who stopped by the streams over the weekend. Doubly so for those who shared messages about when they first found my videos and the impact they’ve had.

I’m glad my enjoyment of Splatoon could resonate with you and go so far as to brighten your day.

We reached 3K followers on Twitch (another yearly milestone) with everyone’s support and I met so many new people. To those who know me from my videos only, I hope you’ll stick around for the ride.

Looking back, I started broadcasting there in late 2022 so I’ve streamed every Splatoon 3 splatfest since the World Premiere (aside from the ice cream theme since I was visiting family).

Thank you for letting me share my thoughts this weekend. It had been a rough few weeks leading up to Grand Fest, so, once again I’m glad I could be there in any capacity.

Thank you Splatoon team for everything you’ve created and I hope we can continue to show just how much this series means to us. It’s time for me to finish up some projects from the past.

This is my first post on this side blog but I plan on sharing more of my writings here so please look forward to it!

Sending you all so much love and strength, Yume 

[vaguekayla]

Dancing With Your Ghost • Eddie Munson

a/n: oh god, I haven’t actually written anything in years and the first thing I decide to tackle is Eddie Munson. I must be a glutton for punishment or something. Inspired by Dancing With Your Ghost by Sasha Alex Sloan. Dedicated to @buckysdollforlife because we are constantly sharing stories with each other so I thought why not share one of my own. Especially since you’re the biggest Eddie fan I know. Also dedicated to @luveline because June Baby melts my heart and gave me the Eddie bug. Seriously go check out her work. Pretty sure I gave myself more trauma with this shit, but whatever. They say in order to create art, you must be willing to bleed.

Updated author’s note: I wrote this almost two years ago completely forgot about it then remembered it only for my self doubt to keep me from posting, but here we are!

Summary: You grieve the loss of your boyfriend, Eddie Munson.

Trigger Warning: angst, character death, slight spoilers for season four maybe. (Let me know if I should add any others.) Not proofread.

Meeting Eddie Munson was something of a coincidence. It wasn’t planned nor was it something you ever contemplated.

The metalhead would one day tell you that he believed the two of you meeting was destiny.

By some happen stance, Dustin needed a ride from a Dungeons and Dragons campaign one night and though he had asked Steve, somehow it ended up being you to pick him up.

It wasn’t anything special about meeting Eddie that night. It was a pretty normal evening.

You were a little late picking up Dustin because it was such a sudden change of plans, so Eddie had waited outside the school with him until you got there.

Dustin introduced you to one another and you both exchanged a few words, but nothing worthy enough to take note of.

Your next ‘meeting’ of sorts is what really made you capture Eddie’s attention.

You really hadn’t planned on coming to Hawkins High on your lunch break just because Dustin forgot his English textbook. What could you say though? You’d grown attached to the kid in the last few years. Him and his friends.

You’d always help them out when they asked. Even when it was something as stupid as a forgotten schoolbook.

But this made three times this week.

After stopping by the office, you’d started to make your way to the cafeteria. You had graduated just last year, so it’s not like you didn’t know where everything was. The cafeteria was loud, not surprising, and you thanked every god you could think of that you were done with this hellhole.

Finding Dustin was easy. His curly hair was unmistakable and his laugh just called for attention.

Whatever he was saying to the group he ate lunch with was cut off by the slam of his textbook as you dropped it front of him over his head.

“You forget that thing any more this week, I’m gonna start charging a delivery fee,” your voice rang out behind him.

There was a teasing lilt to your words, but it didn’t erase the sheepish smile Dustin flashed your way as he turned to look at you.

“Sorry. I’ve just been super excited about this campaign that Eddie’s been telling us about all week and I keep forgetting to grab it. It won’t happen again,” the teen rushed out his apology.

He looked around at Lucas and Mike to back him up, all three rapidly nodding their heads to try and convince you.

You fondly rolled your eyes because you knew it would indeed happen again, but you didn’t really mind.

“So, you’re the reason I’ve been missing my lunch breaks all week, Munson?” an eyebrow rose in the direction of the group leader.

“What? No. I’m not responsible for—”

Eddie cut himself off as he noticed the amused look on your face, letting him know you weren’t actually mad.

The smile you had reflected on the metalhead’s face as he realized you were just teasing.

“What can I say? Storming the gates of Waterdeep is way more fun than reading ‘Hamlet’,” Eddie teased you with a self-satisfied smirk.

The rest of the table all nodded and murmured in agreement, the three youngest imploring you to understand with their pleading eyes.

“It’s fine,” you promised Dustin, assuring him you weren’t upset, “I’d just like to actually eat lunch on my lunch break.”

You exchanged a few more words with the table, being introduced to Gareth, Jeff, and another upper classman whose name you didn’t quite catch.

Checking your watch, you were about to say your goodbyes and go back to work, when you heard your name being called.

It took everything in you not to roll your eyes as you watched Jason Carver walk up to you. The smile on his face unsettled you in ways you couldn’t explain.

Jason had spent an entire school year trying to get you to go out with him before you graduated. You never agreed as there was just something about the guy that always rubbed you the wrong way. Hearing from Dustin and Mike that he and his friends had a habit of bullying their group didn’t help change your opinion about Jason. If you remembered correctly, he had been dating Chrissy Cunnigham since the summer.

That didn’t seem to stop him from making a point to come over and try to chat with you. Even if your break wasn’t coming to an end, you still wouldn’t stick around for that.

“Jason,” you greeted him politely, tense tone that the teen didn’t appear to pick up.

“Haven’t seen you since you graduated. How have you been?”

“Been fine. Working.”

You hoped short answers would be obvious enough to let on that you really didn’t want to talk. Apparently, you overestimated Jason’s intelligence because he just kept talking.

Being rude was something you hated, but you really did have to go.

“Look, this is… great,” you hesitated to use any positive word, “but I really have to get back to work. I just came to bring Dustin his textbook.”

It seemed Jason only just noticed by your words what table you were standing at. His friendly smile dropped as he looked from each table member then back to you.

Any normal person would have tried to be discreet with what was said next, but not Jason. No, never Jason.

Because Jason was a world class jackass.

“You know, I’m a little worried about you if these are the kinds of people you hang out with.”

“’These kinds of people’?” you questioned, brows furrowed.

You weren’t stupid. You had heard the stories from Mike and Dustin, but you wanted to know if Jason was really dumb enough to make this kind of a scene in a public school cafeteria.

Turns out he was. No surprise there.

“Freaks,” he answered as if it was obvious, no hesitation in his response.

If Jason noticed the way your jaw clenched, he didn’t say anything. Dustin noticed though because he subtly took hold of your hand closest to him in an attempt to keep you calm.

It wasn’t a secret you had a temper especially when provoked.

The gentle squeeze on your fingers from Dustin was enough to remind yourself not to let your anger get the best of you.

Eddie noticed your shift in attitude as well and was about to intervene when you spoke up.

“Jason, I know your pea sized brain can’t possibly comprehend this, but just because someone is different from you doesn’t mean that it’s a bad thing,” you went to take a step forward, but Dustin’s grip held you back.

It was probably for the best anyway.

“I don’t know what the hell makes you think you have the right to judge people who aren’t like you and your brain-dead teammates, but nothing gives you the right to be an asshole to people you don’t even know.”

You hadn’t noticed but you had gained some attention from the other cafeteria goers with your small rant.

Maybe your words had stunned him or maybe he just wasn’t expecting you to say something like that, but Jason didn’t say anything for a moment.

When he finally did, it was the stupidest thing you had ever heard in your life.

“Girls shouldn’t curse.”

You rolled your eyes at his words. Out of all the things he could have said, it had to be something like that.

“Get fucked,” you immediately replied, before turning away from him and back to the table.

You softly pulled your hand from Dustin’s grasp as you looked down at him in his seat. He was hesitant to let go until you gave him a smile to assure him you were alright.

You murmured a quiet goodbye to the table, ruffling Mike’s hair affectionately.

“Don’t forget that book tomorrow,” you pointed a finger at Dustin with a smile before you left the cafeteria and the school.

You never noticed the look of awe that followed you from one Eddie Munson.

Meeting Eddie may have been a game of chance. Falling in love with him, on the other hand, seemed to be some divine decree. That’s what you both liked to think anyway.

“It’s written in the stars,” he would say.

There was no doubt in his mind that he was made to love you and you him.

Later in your relationship he would go on to tell you that he loved you ever since that day in the cafeteria. That he was so incredibly grateful that Dustin had forgotten his English book that day.

It just took him a while to actually get up the courage to ask you out on a date.

Technically, he never asked you. He had slipped you a note. Being Eddie, though, it wasn’t a normal note.

Going to drug dealers was not something you made a habit out of. We’re just going to make that clear right now.

Steve was throwing a small party and had wanted to add marijuana on top of the alcohol that he was going to have. The only problem was that the guy he normally bought from had moved away.

It was no secret that Eddie sold drugs. He brought the lunch box with him to school, for crying out loud.

Having developed a friendship with the metalhead, Steve had asked if you could buy from Eddie for the party and you didn’t exactly say ‘no’.

You didn’t mind, it just wasn’t something you had done a lot before.

Pulling up to the trailer Eddie lived in with his uncle was a familiar thing. You’d gone there with Eddie on nights that his band played, to watch movies together, just to hang out. You’ve been there many times.

Just not as one of Eddie’s customers.

It almost seemed to catch him off guard when he swung the door open and you told him the reason for your visit.

He was more than happy to sell to you though.

Only, as he was getting the weed ready for you, he seemed to be acting strange. Well, stranger than usual.

He appeared hesitant as he handed you the bag just as you held the money out to him.

“Thanks, Eddie. I really appreciate it,” you smiled at him.

“Yeah, of course. It’s no problem.”

“We’re still on for movie night tomorrow?”

“If you still want to, absolutely,” he nodded his head.

You gave him a slightly confused look, “Why wouldn’t I want to?”

Eddie shrugged his shoulders in response, and you wanted to ask him if something was wrong.

“Don’t you have a party to get to?” he changed the subject.

Glancing down at your watch, you realized you had been at his house a little longer than you intended.

“Yeah,” you agreed, slipping the bag in your back pocket and wrapping your arms around him in a hug.

His arms were quick to wrap around you and hug back, squeezing a little tighter than usual.

“Go on before you’re too late,” he smiled at you.

You made a mental note to ask about his odd behavior tomorrow.

“See you tomorrow night,” you promised him, slipping outside and heading to your car.

You took the bag of weed out of your pocket and tossed it in the passenger seat so you wouldn’t sit on it.

Just as you were about to crank the car, something caught your attention. You had to turn the map light on to see better.

‘Want to go out on a date?’

The words were inked in black marker onto the bag Eddie had just handed you.

It took your brain a minute to fully register the words. Your body was quick to move and you sprinted from the car, up the stairs, and started knocking furiously on the front door.

As soon as Eddie opened the door, you held the bag up for him to see. Your eyes held a silent question, ‘Do you mean it?’

His right hand came up to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly as he nodded his head, and you couldn’t help but admire the bats permanently etched onto his skin. You wanted to trace every bit of ink his skin held.

“Yes,” you suddenly broke the silence.

“Yeah?” he asked, checking to make sure he heard you correctly.

Your feet carried you through the threshold of the door to right in front of him, hands itching to take his.

“Yes,” you reaffirmed your answer.

The smile that he gave you right then and there would forever be one of your favorite memories.

Loving him came so natural to you that when you first entertained the notion, you were filled with both a sense of peace and terror.

Peace because being around him was so easy. He never made you feel like you had to put on a face or hide behind a mask like you did with so many others. It was a sentiment that he had shared with you one late night.

Terror because no one had ever made you feel the way he did. Eddie brought out a side of you that no other had. You had never loved anyone so passionately and deep as you had your beloved metalhead.

That’s why his death was so hard on you. Because you knew that you would never feel for anyone the way you did Eddie.

The days following his death were a mixture of emotions. Grief being obvious.

Some days you would rage at the universe. Cursing whatever higher power saw fit to put Eddie in your path and allow you to love him. Then you would break down into sobs of guilt for feeling even the slightest regret about any of your time with him. You understood that it was just another part of the grief. There wasn’t a moment you would trade and the regret you felt was for not having more time.

It just didn’t feel fair that the universe would give him to you and then allow him to die.

Allow him to be so cruelly taken from you.

The only positive thought was the picture you had in your head of his eternal afterlife.

You would never claim to be anything of an expert of the subject, but you liked to think he was doing whatever made him happy.

Performing his music. Playing Dungeons and Dragons. Idly strumming his beloved guitar on his bed while a joint of rolled up weed hung from his lips.

There were people you had lost before so you knew time had an effect on memories of loved ones no longer around.

Photographs allowed you to see the dearly departed but other things would fade from your mind.

Soon you would forget the sound of his voice. The way his laugh sounded. The look of excitement and pride every time he finally nailed a riff in a song that took him ages to get. The smell of his cologne and a musk that was just him, a faint smell of weed clinging to him. You always told him you didn’t need alcohol or drugs because his intoxicating scent was the best high you ever felt.

You never wanted anything about Eddie to fade as life went on, so you replayed ever memory you had of him every day.

It would never be the same though and there would never be a time where you didn’t miss him.

Your first kiss played in your mind on many occasions.

You were just hanging out like normal. Eddie had taken you out on your first date the night before. It wasn’t some grand first date, but it meant everything to you.

He had taken you out to eat some greasy food and then to some movie. You don’t remember what movie as neither of you had paid attention to it after the first fifteen minutes. You just stayed and sneakily threw popcorn at some fellow movie goers until you got kicked out by security.

Your hang out turned into a movie night which was meant to make up for the movie you both didn’t watch the previous night.

“You want to stay the night?” Eddie suddenly asked as the end credits from the second movie of the night started to roll.

“Mmhm.”

You nodded your head that rested against his shoulder, eyelids beginning to feel heavy. You didn’t want to go to sleep yet. The night was perfect, in your opinion, and you didn’t want it to end. It couldn’t if you just stayed awake.

Eddie must have noticed your struggle though.

One of his hands came up to brush against your cheek. You allowed yourself to lean into his touch in your sleepy state.

“Hey,” his voice murmured softly. “We can go to sleep now if you want.”

You looked up at him bleary-eyed, brain taking a moment to fully register what he had said.

“Are you sure? There’s still one more movie you wanted to watch,” you questioned.

A quiet chuckle slipped past his lips and you almost hated how easily he could make your heart flutter. Almost.

“Sweetheart, you can barely keep your eyes open. If I put the last movie in, you won’t make it through the previews,” he pointed out.

You wanted to object to his words, but a yawn interrupted you and just proved Eddie’s point. He raised his eyebrows at you as if to say, “I told you so”.

Nodding your head in agreement and a quiet ‘okay’, Eddie turned the television off and helped your tired form to your feet. He was kind enough to let you lean up against him as he walked you both back to his bedroom. Just as he was about to cross into his room, your voice stopped his feet’s movements.

“What was that?”

“Thank you, Eddie,” you repeated your words, face pressed into his neck.

He smiled down at you, “You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

You made a move to press a kiss against his cheek, but your movement caught his attention and he turned his head to see what you were doing. Which caused your kiss to miss his cheek and land directly on his lips.

Whatever sleepiness you felt almost immediately disappeared as you jumped back like you’d been shocked. Both of you stared wide-eyed at each other.

“Sorry,” you began to profusely apologize, “I was just trying to—”

Eddie was quick to cut you off as one of his hands went around the back of your neck, the other cupping your cheek, and pulled you into a deep kiss.

Your fingers tangled themselves in his hair, pulling him closer while you kissed him back. He matched your passion by pulling you as close to him as physically possible. He held you like you’d slip away if he didn’t hold you tight enough.

In the future, you would always tell him that you adored when he held you like that. It made you feel so loved. He would then say that he would always love you like that. That he couldn’t imagine a time in his life when he wouldn’t be in love with you.

Nights tended to be the hardest. There were times where the mere thought of going to bed without him was too much to bear.

In those moments, you would pull on his jacket and wrap your arms around yourself. The record player would play the song you two always danced together to.

If you really tried, you could almost pretend he was holding you and swaying you both to the music.

He’d always do that when you had a bad day. Occasionally you could swear that you heard him whispering in your ear.

“It’s alright, sweetheart. I’m right here.”

He would say it to you so softly.

It was something that he said so often to you on your off days. Eddie always wanted you to know that whatever it was you were feeling, he wasn’t going anywhere.

That was when you were so cruelly reminded that his promise was one he hadn’t been able to keep.

You were only reminded that he wasn’t there anymore.

You were very good at reminding yourself of all the things you didn’t do or wouldn’t get to share with Eddie anymore. Perhaps it was the guilt you carried around with you at not doing something to help him.

It’s not like you could do anything. You weren’t even there when he died.

You had been with Robin, Nancy, and Steve at the time of your boyfriend’s tragic death.

It wasn’t your first decision, but Nancy had pointed out they could use all the help possible to kill Vecna. Eddie, while not liking the idea of you walking straight into Vecna’s base of operations, wasn’t very fond of you being in on the decoy for the demobats.

Damn bats.

You wished you had been there now.

Maybe you could have done something different. Something to hold the bats off long enough until it was over. Or maybe you could have done something to help Eddie until you all were able to get him to a hospital.

That wasn’t fair to yourself though and the brown eyed boy you love would tell you the same thing.

God, how you wanted to scream at him for being a hero. How you hated him for being so reckless and leaving you like he did.

But you didn’t hate him.

You couldn’t.

How could you hate him for being so selfless as to put his life in danger just to give you, Steve, Robin, and Nancy a few extra minutes?

Details would fade with time.

The cocky grin on his face when he thought he had someone beat in Dungeons and Dragons. The exact shade of brown of his eyes. How his finger’s felt when he lightly traced soft patterns into your skin. Even how your name sounded falling from his lips.

There was nothing you could do against the ravages of time. Everything fell victim by its cruel hands.

But you don’t think you would ever truly forget the boy who you fell so deeply in love with.

How could you ever forget him?

[sarahjtv]

My Hero Academia Chapter 429 Spoiler Talk: The Penultimate Chapter

So here it is. The second to last chapter of My Hero Academia. Unless Horikoshi gives us a sequel series like Naruto: Shippuden, this and the next chapter is the last we'll get manga content about MHA. Well, at least until Horikoshi gives us another Ultra Analysis book or an art book with extra information. It's still hard to believe honestly. I don't know if I'll be able to accept that our beloved series is ending until it actually does. Let's see what Horikoshi-sensei gives us until then. Also, my health isn't 100% today, so I apologize if my writing sounds messy:

First off is our last Weekly Shonen Jump and Chapter color pages! They are absolutely beautiful celebrating both the 10th anniversary and My Hero Academia as a whole. Everyone is smiling and it's a wonderful sight to see. I won't show them here because I think they deserve to be seen with your own two eyes. Let's just say that I love them and I can't wait to get the HQ versions of them when the official release comes out. Just know that you can tell Horikoshi put a lot of love into these pages.

From here on out, I think I'm just going to talk about what I thought of the chapter because I'm not 100% down to type everything out tonight. Sorry about this:

I think the chapter was another solid one, though it somehow still doesn't feel like the series is ending yet for me.

I'm glad we got to see Ochako and Deku talk about not being able to save their respective villains because we all know how badly this was haunting them. Neither of them would have been able to move on and genuinely smile again until they got that all out to someone who understood. Thankfully, they have each other 💚💖. I'm also really glad Deku told Ochako she was his hero and let her take her hand. This is the closest we'll probably get to an actual romantic confession from either of them unless Horikoshi does something for them in the last chapter. The thing is, it works because this wasn't the time for a love confession. This was a time for two broken people to talk their trauma out and get reassurance from someone close to them.

Really sad to hear that Himiko Toga did die. Granted it was from Ochako's dialogue and we didn't see any panel with her body drawn, but we can really only take her word for it now. Horikoshi could absolutely pull a fast one on us and show a glimpse of her alive in the final chapter. However, I think it's safe to say that she is dead and that honestly sucks.

I love the slice-of-life panels we get of the rest of the kids and seeing Aizawa smile is beautiful! He's so proud of his kids 🥹.

Monoma getting a statue at the school and bragging about it is fucking hilarious 🤣! He honestly deserves it though because the whole world would've been dead if not for him. Deku better get a statue too or else I'm going to throw hands.

Eri excitedly singing at Aoyama's farewell party is the most wholesome thing I've seen in a very long time and I truly hope she achieves her dream someday 🤍! Make her the best idol in the world, Horikoshi!

Finally, there's that mysterious man we saw a few chapters ago. We still don't know his name, but we're told he was abused and abandoned by his family because he has a mutant Quirk similar to how Eri's Quirk in the sense that neither of their Quirks were inherited by their family's DNA. He looked like he was going to walk down a similar path as Tenko, but the old lady who first ignored Tenko many years back found this new man and finally offered him a hand thanks to Izuku's inspiration. This is sort of a redemption for the old lady. I know that she was a catalyst for why Tenko became who he became, but I think this is a start for her to start over at least. Thankfully, I think this man is going to be ok.

I remember reading the interviews Horikoshi did over the past week and one of the things he said he wanted to express was that even someone having your back is heroism. Someone who can do something so simple as reaching their hand out when someone is in need is a hero to that person. You can tell that that is what Horikoshi is telling us here. He also said that making us cry was an important part of the story too because it's how he wants us to connect with it, so I expect to shed tears next week.

So, yeah. That's the second to last chapter of the main My Hero Academia manga. It still doesn't feel real to me. The final page of the chapter left things open-ended, so I would not be surprised if we got a time skip of some sort in the final chapter. I honestly thought that Horikoshi was setting up one more villain for the kids to fight with that mysterious man, but it was wrapped up in a very simple yet poignant way. I will agree that it feels rushed and that there's something missing, but I can't pinpoint what. Horikoshi's been writing and drawing this manga for 10+ years at this point, so I can't entirely blame him for wanting to finish things up. However, I'm a little more nervous about him sticking the landing for the ending. While I think he can still do it, I've seen too many mangaka end their story on a bad note for one reason or another. Our best bet is that he revises or adds some things to make the chapter better in the volume version. I'm going to do my best to keep my optimism alive for the next few weeks.

I honestly can't begin to accurately predict how the manga will end. I could see it ending with the kids continuing their lives at UA, at graduation, or as pro-hero adults maybe with families of their own. Honestly, anything goes. Part of me wants to be here when the chapter might get leaked next Wednesday, but another part of me wants to wait until next Sunday for the official VIz release so I can read and cry together with everyone else. I think I am going to try to do the latter and then write some kind tribute to honor the series, but I may or may not be out of town next week, so I'll have to see about that.

One more chapter left.

[rapunzelforlorn]

A heartstopper AU where Nick Nelson is an out and proud captain of the rugby team and a bisexual icon while shy art nerd Charlie has only ever liked girls before.

(Idk how to tag fics but this is PG-13.

Straight!Charlie)

It was the first day of class and Truham School for boys has announced new form groups. Charlie stared at the room number scratched onto the back of his hand for what felt like the millionth time today. He made it to the classroom door and took a breath. He knew none of his friends were going to be inside, they had already compared schedules. Elle was at Higgs now anyway. Charlie entered the classroom and said hello to the teacher.

"Charlie Spring!" Said Mr. Lange.

"Happy new year! Let's see, where did I put you on the seating plan... ah, yes, you're over there next to Nick Nelson, he's in year eleven only a year older than you."

Charlie nodded and headed to the back corner Mr. Lange had pointed to. Nick was already seated and was busy looking out the windown as Charlie approached. He looked at the seated boy; tall, broad shoulders, athletic type, with strawberry blonde hair that fell over the top of his head as he ran his hand through it. His attention was drawn back to the classroom as Charlie pulled out the chair, and set down his bag.

"Hi"

"Hi."

Charlie didn't know very much about Nick at all other than he was the captian of the rugby team and that he came out as bisexual last term. He remembered a random year 8 walk up to him, Tao, Elle and Issac during lunch

"Did you hear? Nick Nelson is gay! What a lo-"

Elle rolled her eyes. "I heard he was bi, actually"

The kid ran off before he heard her.

The weeks passed and Charlie found himself looking forward to form every day. He and Nick had been getting along really well and Charlie just felt so comfortable around Nick even though he couldn't figure out why. One day, Nick's pen exploded ink all over himself and Mr. Lange assigned Charlie to go with him to the washroom. It was an unlikely paring but Nick had somehow become Charlie's friend.

Charlie was going to lunch when his phone buzzed. He looked down at a message from Beth. Beth was a very popular year 11 whom he had met a year ago in the hall outside the band room. Since then, Beth would text Charlie and ask to see him regularly. Charlie still wasn't sure why she wanted to see him sometimes, especially when she didn't ever seem to want to hang out with him or even talk to him in the halls, but she was beautiful so Charlie would always find the empty room and there she would be. As soon as he closed the door behind him Beth was right there hands on his face, pressing him with kisses. Charlie pulled back, hesitant.

"Hello to you too."

Beth rolled her eyes. "Hey. I missed you." In between kisses.

Charlie pulled back again, farther this time.

"What do you want Beth?"

"What? Can't a girl miss her best boy?"

"I'm not your best boy, Beth. I'm not your anything. You won't even look at me in the halls and I'm tired of only ever seeing you in empty rooms while you snog the soccer player of the week at the front gate."

"Oooh someone's mad today." Beth said with a fake pout and another eye roll.

"I don't see why you're upset, you get to kiss me too, after all. Besides none of them kiss like you Charlie Spring."

Charlie held back the rage.

"Well I'm tired of being your guy on the side. Last year you told me how much you liked me but you didn't want your parents to know you had a boyfriend. It seems you're not afraid after all, you just don't want to be seen with me."

"Charlie its not my fault my friends think you're odd. It's not so much you, but your friends are all reaaaally weird. And you're in the band so like, you're a little odd."

She scoffs at the end of the sentance but then exclaims "heyyy!" When Charlie pushes her off him and opens the door. With the door open Beth jumps back and before she can protest Charlie says

"Don't text me anymore Beth. This thing between you and me? It's over." He leaves.

Nick walked down the hall searching for Charlie, he was sure his locker was down this hallway. Nick stood a head above everyone else so it didn't take him long to spot Charlie's dark curly hair half way down the row or spot a slender arm reach up and pull drum sticks out from inside.

Charlie plays drums? That's really cool, Nick thinks as he takes a deep breath before getting closer. He and Charlie had gotten considerably closer this term and Nick was trying to assure himself that the sensation that came over him anytime he was near Charlie was strictly platonic- just the excitement of making a new friend. Last year when he told the boys on his team that he was bisexual, a few of them had reacted poorly at first, and the teasing grew beyond typical banter. It wasn't long though before Nick's friends and the coach rallied and put a stop to the bullying, from students on and off the rugby team. Since then, he'd been navigating being out with the support of his friends and mother. His father wasn't around at all and his brother David was a dick about it still, but David was a dick about everything all of the time so it didn't bother Nick all too often.

"Allright?" Nick asked as he arrived at Charlie's locker.

Charlie looked up at Nick and smiled. Nick couldn't help but smile wide back and he scolded himself internally as he needed to stop this crush on Charlie Spring. The devishly handsome musician with long curls and the brightest eyes Nick had ever seen. Charlie is -straight- Nick hissed to himself. He's one of those artsy boys that girls love because he's quiet. They think it's mysterious.

"Alright." Said Charlie.

"You play the drums?" Said Nick. "That's cool. So listen uh- me and my mates were talking and. Do you uhm. Do you wanna try outfortherugbyteam" it all came out at once.

"Do I what?" Said Charlie, processing Nick's one syllable question.

"Try out for the rugby team? We have enough players for the team but we cant compete without a reserve."

Charlie smirked and raised his eyebrows.

"A whole school full of boys and I'm the best reserve, Truham has to offer? I dont think I'm the right type" he said with a flourish of his drum sticks.

"Aw come on, we're not your typical team!" Gesturing back to himself. "Loads of different types can play rugby! And I've seen you in PE. You can run really fast!"

"I'll think about it." Charlie said.

"Just come to practice."

As he walked away Charlie watched him go before blinking and realizing he'd kinda been staring. Nick had such a beauty to him that was still unmistakably boyish. Charlie blinked again. Beauty?

~~~~~

I really wasn't planning on writing all of that the post started with the promt and then I kinda immediately wanted to write it??

I haven't written anything in like 7 years and I haven't ever in my life posted something like this so please be nice 🥲 if this gets even 1 note I'll definitely write part 2 cause it was fun but I let my dinner get cold so I thought that would be an okay place to stop/pause. I hope yall like it and hopefully I tagged it all properly.

[door]

1! 6! 11! 25! 26! 33! 41! 42! 48! 52! 54! 69! hoo boy that's a lot. also how's 30s

hi! oh wow that is a lot. enjoy??? (for the 30s ask meme)

gonna answer the last thing first because honestly i've loved my 30s, and since i'm going into my final year of them it seems apt to reflect. i figured out i was queer like a month before i turned 30, so my 30s have been about queerness and community, about taking risks on things that previously i thought i were too old for. i moved cities and careers, i got a masters degree, i found sooooo much friendship and interests and hobbies and got every single one of my tattoos. i am more myself now than i have ever been before. i used to joke that i had been waiting my whole life to turn 30, but i think that was true actually. getting older rules.

What was the first piece of furniture you bought?

off with a BANG. i think it was probably a knock-off saarinen tulip table i got from craigslist when i was in grad school the first time, long long ago. i think the guy had found the base (which may in fact be genuine) and he built a wooden top for it. it's lovely and i think i paid $100 for it. we don't have room for it in the current house (it's dining room sized, about 5 ft across), so it's hiding in my aunt's basement for now.

6. Most precious thing one of your pets has destroyed?

this wasn't actually one of mine, but my parents' dog punkin. the first and only thing i won at auction was a poster for the 1976 50th anniversary of the 1925 exposition des artes decoratifs (which cemented the art deco style and later contributed its name), and punkin ate it. i can still barely talk about it. looked like this:

11. What’s something you saved up for and then regretted buying?

weirdly the first thing i think of is an inflatable chair i got from kb toys in the mall when i was a kid. i thought that thing was going to change my life. it didn't. i cried. my mom helped me return it.

25. Favorite old person activity?

playing solitaire with real cards. when i was a kid, while the rest of us were rolling in the sand and getting our teeth knocked out by waves at the beach, my grandma would sit inside and play solitaire. one year i joined her. she taught me SO many varieties of solitaire and i remember em all.

26. Would you rather sit on the porch drinking sweet tea or sit by the lake drinking beers?

i don't drink alcohol so sweet tea gets my vote. lake vs porch really depends on the breeze situation, but most likely lake. i love a body of water.

33. What’s something you collect?

edward gorey books, including paperbacks he did covers for. also linda ronstadt records

41. What’s the oldest thing you own?

i don't know! i have a lot of old furniture i inherited or found in thrift stores so i really don't know how old any of that is. it might be a ring that belonged to my great-grandmother. it probably dates to the mid-19th century.

42. What’s an unjustifiably expensive appliance that you really want?

a roomba! which is unjustifiable in part because of the weirdness of our house. but how will we know until we try it!

also: this coffee grinder (unjustifiable because we have a perfectly good one already but this one is red) and this milk pan.

48. If you could build your home from scratch, what outrageous feature would you want to build into it?

A CONSERVATORY!!! i want a glasshouse i want to fill it with plants and enjoy the OUTSIDE while INSIDE. that's the dream.

but also like. so many secret passages.

52. Did your relationship with your parents get better when you stopped living with them?

i think it got worse, actually.

54. Do you decorate your house for holidays? Which ones?

i decorate the yard for halloween (full graveyard babey), but any spooky decorations that go up inside the house usually become permanent. we don't have room for anything more than stockings in the current house, but i put christmas lights up on the porch and around a doorway inside.

69. What are you looking forward to next week?

my paycheck lol

[karizard-ao3]

Sneak Peek at my Eremika single parent WIP

Why not? Only, like, three people even look at my tumblr and I could use a little boost to keep me excited about this fic. I'm going to share a little of their backstory, one section from Eren's pov, and the other from Mikasa's. Keep in mind, this is the rough draft and subject to change.

They had met in 3rd grade when Eren’s elementary school was re-zoned to include her end of the neighborhood, and, together with Armin, they had become inseparable. He wasn't sure how. It had happened so long ago and their transition from classmates to friends had been so seamless that the details had faded away to make room for more pressing matters than exactly how he had found himself spending all his free time with Mikasa and Armin. 

He had also taken their continued presence in his life for granted, the way young kids do. He hadn't expected that he and Mikasa would drift apart in middle school, her to her advanced classes and art club and he to his sports. There was barely any time to see each other, and, while it also rankled him that Armin was too busy and smart for him, too, it really pissed him off with Mikasa. He was sour and dismissive on the rare occasion they actually spoke, and, by the time eighth grade graduation rolled around, they didn't talk to each other at all. It infuriated him. 

So then why had he been so happy when he needed to sign up for peer tutoring due to his absolute shit grades and Mikasa was the one who ended up tutoring him? He had been surly about it at first. "Sucks you're stuck with me," he'd snarled, slumping back in his seat and folding his arms across his chest.

"I requested you," said Mikasa, with matter-of-fact crispness, straightening her papers and refusing to meet his eyes. 

Eren straightened a bit. "You did?" he said, surprised by the sudden lightening in his chest. 

She nodded, folding her hands on top of the table. "So I guess I'm sorry you're stuck with me," she said, tapping her fingers.

"I don't mind," said Eren, sitting all the way up. "I'm looking forward to it."

Mikasa's eyes flicked over to him. He stared back at her, his heart rate ramping up with each silent second that passed. Then she smiled, her lips shifting into the faint curve he still remembered so well. "That's good," she said, soft-eyed and pleased. "Because, based on your grades, we're going to be seeing a lot of each other."

Eren couldn't even find the will to pretend to be pissed about her mild jibe. He was just so inexplicably relieved that from then on he would be seeing her at least one afternoon a week, guaranteed. 

It took him another year to realize why he was so invested in being around her. She was going over his essay, tapping her pencil against her lips as she read it, and he was staring at them, fixating on how pink and soft they looked, wishing he could be her pencil, and wondering why it was he always had such weird thoughts about Mikasa. One of his soccer friends had just gotten his first girlfriend and he said the same kind of junk about that girl that Eren thought about Mikasa, but Eren and Mikasa weren’t going out. He wasn’t even sure they were technically friends. They only saw each other during his tutoring sessions, but, oh, he lived for those afternoons. His favorite was when she moved her chair next to his, and they looked at his work with their heads together, so close that their shoulders touched and he could smell the mild scent of her shampoo and the minty bite of her gum. His arm always itched to find its way around her when she was next to him like that, and his lips would tingle knowing that hers were so close. He had even started hugging his other friends hello and good-bye just so he had sufficient justification to do the same with her, and he knew it was ridiculous, but he sure wasn’t going to stop. He supposed all his silliness was because he held her in such high regard compared to the other people they went to school with. Although by that logic he would also spend some fraction of his time ogling Armin’s lips, and he had never done that even once. The mystery of her hold on him continued.

“You look a million miles away,” she had said then, pulling him from his musings. “What are you thinking about?”

“Stuff,” said Eren. "Nothing. It doesn't matter."

“We can go over your essay if you’re ready, then,” said Mikasa. “I made notes.”

“Okay,” said Eren, scooting his chair over so she could put hers next to his. She slid his paper across the table for him to look at while she brought her chair around. She had written several comments in the margins, but one in particular grabbed his attention. “I ❤️ your/ quote selection!” she had written, but, for a brief, mad, exhilarating moment, his dysfunctional brain had stopped reading at “I ❤️ you”, disregarding the R and the second line entirely. He was ecstatic for those two seconds until reality came crashing back down on him.

That's when he had realized with sudden, unexpected clarity why it was exactly that he lay in bed at night and tried to recreate her face from memory while he faded away into sleep. He turned to look at her, gawking as she settled into her chair. Holy shit. He was in love with her. He was in love with his childhood best friend. How long had this been going on for?

“Are you okay, Eren?” she asked, catching the stunned look on his face. 

He gulped and nodded. Now that he knew, he wanted to tell her. To lay it all out and get her to love him back, but he couldn't. What would she want with him? She was so cool, with her ripped fishnets and oversize band tees, her pierced nose and her combat boots, and the way her art kept getting recognized at school. She was such a good artist. And she was so smart. What did he have to offer? All he was good for was kicking a ball around. She'd want someone better than him. Definitely. Someone like that Kirschtein guy he always saw her talking to. He was older; he played tennis, which Eren considered to be a gentleman's sport; he was so good at painting that he was granted an entire panel of his own for the school mural project; and - oh! So that's why it made Eren so miserable and angry every time he saw them together. He was jealous. Because he loved her. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked, touching his arm. "You look really upset."

"Nope, I'm all good," said Eren. His arm was turning to putty beneath her fingers. "So, what's up with you and that guy, Kirschtein?"

***

She’d hoped that time would heal her wounds and tighten up her morals, but she still wasn't ready to see him when her trip was over, so she didn't come home, opting to go straight to her new school instead. She just didn't know how she could look at him now that she didn't know who he was anymore. 

Of course, time did heal her wounds, but it took more than just a summer to stitch them shut. Still, by the time Mikasa wrapped up her final year of undergraduate studies by getting pregnant and subsequently engaged, she could think of Eren without any nausea or heartache, although even her fondest memories of him came with a dour footnote: "but he was a liar". Like the time she helped him study for finals. They'd done it at his house, going over the review questions and trying to make sense of his illegible notes and doing flashcards every night the week preceding the tests. He'd been grumbling and groaning and whining one night because he was tired of studying, so she'd started rewarding him for every right answer with a jelly bean, tossing the candy for him to catch in his mouth, except the jelly beans kept bouncing off his face and then he'd scoff and she'd laugh and pretty soon their study session had devolved into them chucking jelly beans at each other back and forth, giggling hysterically and dropping far more candy than they caught. It had been so fun. But, he was a liar. And that's not something she could forget. 

It was at her wedding that she discovered her error. She was four months pregnant and still not really showing, but she was tired and cranky nonetheless. Armin's date was a girl they'd gone to high school with, but hadn't hung out with back then. She'd run with Eren's crowd, and the first thing she'd said when Mikasa went over to say hello at the reception (aka the BBQ in Eduardo's parents' backyard, since Mikasa's wedding was a surprise development, just like, and thanks to, the baby) was, "Your husband looks just like Eren Jaeger from high school."

"No he doesn’t," said Mikasa, sipping her non-alcoholic sparkling cider. 

Armin and the girl exchanged a glance. “Right, of course not,” said Armin.

“How is Eren, though?” said Mikasa, who couldn’t help but be curious. "I used to tutor him. Did he and Historia keep seeing each other after high school?"

"I think they still talk sometimes," said the girl.

"They broke up?" said Mikasa, raising an eyebrow. Maybe Historia had found out about the cheating. 

The girl's eyebrows furrowed. "They never went out," she said. 

No, that wasn’t true. Mikasa frowned. "But, back in twelfth grade… Mina Carolina said…"

The girl laughed. "Mina Carolina was talking out of her ass, then, like she always did. Eren wasn't dating Historia in twelfth grade because I was. He was the only one who knew it."

Mikasa was stunned. "Oh," she said, looking at Armin, who actually looked kind of like Historia: blond haired, soft featured, and petit. He shrugged at Mikasa, not understanding why she was so flummoxed. She had never told him why she’d stopped talking to Eren, just said that something had happened and she didn’t want to get into it. She was on her own dealing with this new revelation, just like she had been when Mina had turned her world upside down in the bathroom. Oh, god. Eren hadn’t been cheating on his girlfriend when he’d kissed her. She’d written off her first love/ third-best friend for nothing. “Well,” she said, trying to laugh off her regrets and shift the subject away from Eren, "If you were dating Historia then and Armin now, I guess you have a type." 

"I really do," agreed the girl, then mumbled to Armin, "Looks like I'm not the only one."

Mikasa ignored her, excusing herself to go find her husband. He barely even glanced at her when she took a seat beside him. His hand finding its way to her knee was his only concession to her presence. She studied his profile. It was maybe possibly true that he looked a little like her old high school crush, but that’s where the similarities ended. If you didn’t count that they also had the same initials. But that was just coincidence. And, anyway, Eduardo was her future. She had lost Eren to the past and her own mistakes. Even if she wanted to, how could she contact Eren now? What would she say? "Hi. Here's my new phone number, like I promised. Sorry it took me so long to get it to you"? Yeah, right. It had already been too long. She didn’t know how to rebuild the bridge she had burned, and so she left it behind, returning only sometimes to view the wreckage and wonder what could have been if she hadn't been so hasty.

And then Eduardo had removed himself from her future. Or, rather, repositioned himself inside of it, abdicating from the role of husband. Family life wasn’t for him. It was too much pressure. He couldn’t make her happy. He loved her but he wasn’t in love with her. He had plenty of excuses but what it really boiled down to was that she had made another terrible life decision when she had agreed to marry him just because they were going to have a child. She had hoped that maybe the magnetic attraction between them that had led to Mason’s conception could bind their hearts together as well. What a joke. 

And so Mikasa raised her child and tried to co-parent with Eduardo and ended up moving the several hours back home when Mason was three, so she could get an advanced degree and save up money to buy them their own little house near her family, since Eduardo was so bad at contributing or remembering to pay child support and barely saw Mason anyway. 

She'd decided to go to her high school reunion a couple years later for the same reason she'd gone to grad night: she was hoping Eren would be there and she could talk to him one more time. Being home again, seeing their old stomping grounds, being surrounded by memories of him… She wanted to return to those days when she had been happy. And she wanted her friend.  

[hyacinthoideshispanica]

I just had an idea for a Feysand au.

Rhys and Feyre both went to art school and were rivals/Feyre hated him because one day after the first week or so, Feyre came into class and saw that Rhys had a small tattoo on his arm that looked similar to a sketch she had done a few days ago. She's so mad that she throws her shoe at him and accuses him of stealing her work. Rhys just shrugs it off and says he didn't steal her work, he was just inspired by it.

Years go by, and they've graduated. Feyre runs an art studio and is slowly making a name for herself. Rhys became a successful tattoo artist.

One day, they randomly run into each other, and the old rivalry sparks up again. Feyre announces that her work is about to be featured in a gallery show, and Rhys tells her that really popular celebrities have started booking appointments with him. They end up making a bet over who can become more famous in a certain amount of time. If Feyre wins, Rhys has to publicly admit that he stole her design all those years ago, and if Rhys wins, he gets to give Feyre a tattoo.

The deadline for their bet ends up being on the same night as the art show, and Feyre's confident she'll win, but then only a handful of people come because like, a block away, Rhys has two or three celebrities in his shop at once. So, basically, everyone in town is crowded around there.

Feyre's heartbroken and closes the show hours earlier than planned. Hours later, after a few glasses of wine, she marches down to Rhys's shop, planning on screaming at him for ruining the most important night of her life and maybe breaking the shop window or something but when she gets there, it's empty, dark and locked up. Feyre realizes it's midnight, and she just completely breaks down.

Rhys realized he had forgotten something at the shop, so he comes around the corner and just sees Feyre, on the ground just sobbing. He asks if she's alright, and she tells him to go to hell. He invites her inside because it's freezing and begrudgingly, she accepts. He makes her tea and asks why she was lurking in front of his shop so late. She explains he ruined her show, and Rhys is super confused because, "Feyre, your show is tomorrow night." She stubbornly tells him he's wrong. It was tonight, and it was a failure because of him.

Rhys pulls up an announcement of the show on his phone and shows her, and Feyre realizes that the wrong date had been put on it.

Rhys asks if she really thought he'd steal such an important night from her like that, and Feyre reminds him that he stole her work back in school.

Frustrated, Rhys rolls up the sleeve of his shirt and shows her the tattoo while also pulling up a screenshot of her own sketch. He points out the differences, and Feyre, now looking at the work side by side, realizes that, while Rhys was definitely inspired by her sketch, he had altered it to be uniquely his and hadn't actually stolen it.

"I told you back then, remember? I didn't steal your work, I was inspired by it. You inspire me."

He pulls out a portfolio full of sketches inspired by her own work, and he tells her that, apart from his own tattoo, he's never tattooed any of these designs. He's never even shown them to anyone else before.

Feyre: You have an entire portfolio of work you've never used. Why?

Rhys: I almost dropped out of school. I felt like I wasn't talented enough and was just wasting time and money like my father said I was, but then one day, I looked over, and there you were sketching. It was beautiful, you were beautiful and for the first time in a very long time I felt hope that I would succeed. So, after months of staring at blank paper, I finally drew something, and the end result was this. (He gestures to his tattoo) You're the reason I kept going Feyre, the reason I stayed with art and now have this shop. And now, whenever I start to doubt myself, I look at your work and feel inspired again. You're my salvation, Feyre. "

Feyre is stunned and starts crying. Rhys wipes her tears away, and they start kissing.

The next night, the gallery show is a huge success. Several celebrities come and purchase paintings, and a few of them introduce themselves to Feyre. Telling her that Rhys has been telling them about her work and how she's his muse for months now. Feyre goes to shake hands several times but, at the last minute, has to awkwardly switch from her left to her right because her left hand is currently wrapped up in plastic. Healing from the fresh tattoo Rhys gave her earlier that day after they spent the rest of the night together in Rhysand's apartment. It's a large piece, covering the tips of her fingers all the way up to her elbow, full of dark swirls. They designed it together.

Sorry this is so long. I don't have the talent to write a full fic, so if anyone wants to use this as a prompt, please feel free.

[loppiopio]

i've been sitting on this post for a few days now and it's literally just, me making assumptions about kudos i've noticed on fics lately (particularly aci since i've been checking that fic every week for book club these past few months) and this'll make me seem more insane than i already come off but by this point. how much lower can i go?

just going from top to down as of today.

[ShibaLee] i know you from your art on here!! tumblr user shibaleeart i'm happy to see more people in potentially enjoying the stories this fandom has to offer :>

[reiscm] shizuchansmilk?? what are youuu doing here? i didn't know you read shizaya fic tbh and i was surprised to see you here suddenly, relatively recently too. does that mean you just started the fic then?? after at least a year of being in the fandom right? maybe this wasn't from your first time reading it (same) but at the very least it shows you visited it not too long ago… i may be delusional in thinking i could be a contributing factor there because, why now? it's not like i'm the only aci advocate out there but i've probably been the most vocal about it around this time soo… well whatever it is, hope you had fun with it! i'm so curious what drrr comedian shizuchansmilk thinks about hit fanfiction a cheap imitation 👁️

i'm also recognising some of the other names around here like [anonymooose] and [durarasaiki] even though i haven't the faintest idea who they might be. i've just been seeing them lately across different shizaya fics which probably means these are the people doing their shizaya fic dive around this time. i have nothing more to add there i just, think it's cool noticing the same names across fics like yeah, we all feasting on the shizaya tag rn.

[ya_boi_twink] it took me a second to recall where i'd recognised your name from and then it hit me. i knoooow you! tumblr user yaboitwink in my notifs… i appreciate you, and i'm glad you liked the things i made for it c:

[bun_o_ween] oh i know you're here because of mr crapo. i hope you guys had fun with it! i wanna take the chance to also admit that like. the moment i found out you were that sebastian writer i experienced the wildest sense of deja vu. because. i had seen your name on ao3 before. but when i checked your fics there was no way i'd read a fic from you?? so then i realised i must have recognised you... through other kudos on other fics??? dude. i must sound crazy, i have no way of proving this because i actually don't remember what fics these were i just vaguely remember it was either bsd or tgcf? that i was looking at fics for, trying to find something to sate my hunger at the time. and i just remember, noticing your name across like a few of these fics in a row and thinking "heh someone else has been going down the same rabbit hole" AND NOW I SEE YOU AND CRAPO OF SHIZAYA FANDOM HITTING IT OFF it was surreal. like. my awareness of you had zero to do with black butler, i could not have predicted that you would have been the random ao3 user i'd seen apparently enjoying some of the same fics i was not too long ago. wow.

there are like two separate flamingo related names around here [niceflamingo] and [flamingoo] which doesn't mean anything but for some reason they are standing out enough for me to want to mention them. i feel like i've seen ao3 user flamingoo in the kudos of some other fic before but idk.

[Luzki] omg hey!! twitter artist vi_138_ woah hiii funny seeing you here :0 especially like. not so long ago? since i'd imagined you would've been aware of the fandom for a while since you seem more invested in the alts than shizuo and izaya in particular? well it was cool seeing that you'd read this one, i hope ya had fun!

[frogsarefriends] right under that is artist hallucxnating >:O i know they've read the fic already but it was cool to actually recognise their kudo down here, especially since it's like. not recognisable just from the name alone, but you've shared links to this ao3 as your writing so now i know it's you. my impression is that you came into the fandom through slavhew since, i'd connected the dots at some point that you two were friends which. made a lot of sense since i noticed you both started being active around here at the same time lol. but hey!! welcome to the club :D

[7FlyingPancakes7] this is one of the ones i'd noticed earlier on during book club, i distinctly remember checking a chapter while walking home one night (because i do that i guess) then BAM what the hell?? i just see tumblr user mari-lair's ao3 appear down there, totally out of nowhere for me. for context this was a writer from the tpn fandom i recognise from like 4 years ago? idk it's been a while, i didn't talk to them much but they were active in the fandom at the time so i'm familiar with their name. i haven't been keeping up with them but last i'd seen they seemed to be into tbhk with no indication as far as i was aware that they'd shown any interest in shizaya. nothing wrong with that it was just unexpected, so i was just like woah!! how did you get here? i am so curious how they may have come across this fic, was it some rec from a friend? how familiar are they with shizaya? how invested were they in the story and characters? enough to go down more of shizaya's greatest hits? anyways, that was just a fun little small world moment for me.

[psych0tastic] hey isn't this…. axietoh? like, the artist who used to draw shizaya like 5 years ago? what are they doing here so high up the list? 🤔 i have no clue lol i still follow them because i really like their art style but i hadn't noticed their interest in shizaya resurfacing... i suppose they just haven't been too active on these socials in general. anyways their name stood out to me and i was like, wait….. well it's a shocker seeing their name so high up here, were they reading this fic for the first time there or were they revisiting it and happened to have not kudo'd it until then? well anyways, it's nice to see they've revisted the fic within the last two years at least :0 that's cool to me.

[MiyukiWynter] dude i was feeling crazy just now trying to figure out where i'd recognised this name from because i'd swwooooorn i'd seen it from somewhere like as someone on twitter?? i think i was mixing them up in my mind with unrelated (as far as i'm aware) twitter user miiyankhr but turns out they're someone who's fics i've seen in the tags before. i haven't read them myself but apparently they just posted a new one two days ago so that's crazy.

[Dodomka] heyyy it's dodo from twitter, hellooo 👋 they've been the biggest supporter for my deep in the sauce fic tweets and for that i appreciate them very much :3 didn't expect to see them here tbh i wasn't aware of when they'd first read the fic but as i was expanding the list a few times to write up this post i noticed their name here and just thought that was neat. shout-out to them!

[mochi010] there's a user named mochi that has shown up in my twitter notifs somewhat regularly and they have nothing on their account so i have zero clue what they might be like outside from that they've been liking my shizuo and izaya retweets. their handle isn't even mochi so i have very little reason to believe this could be them but idk, maybe? no conclusion has been made here. well i already spent time writing and cleaning up the paragraph, guess i'm leaving it in.

shout-out to [ouiouipussay] and [ramenflavorpacketsnorter420] just for having some names that stand out lol. i don't recognise you from anywhere but, i guess now i will if i ever come across those names again.

[Stupidusernamepolicy] i struggled to find you amidst all these names for the writing of this post 💀 had to ctrl+f that shit. but i remember seeing your name here while i was going through the list some days before and being like "oh hey!! it's slavhew :)" but okay there's actually a tangent i've been wanting to go on from here.

outside of aci i've actually been noticing you and hallucxnating double duo'ing under some fics together, like after the story era which i'd reread after hallu reminded me of its existence in a reply, and also sacramental which i had reread because of your reply, lol. i find this quite funny, just like. this visual representation of you two reading and recommending fics with each other. then you talk about it on twitter and more people like me are visiting this fic too. chain reaction of sharing stories :)

ALSO [anonymooose] and [durarasaiki] spotted down here in some of these kudos too!! that's craazy. wow. i tell you guys i'm recognising these names i'm not just crazy 😭

[NotElectricT] this took me a second to dig up again since it's quite buried down that list at this point but the plan i'd had in mind for this post was to end on this one since i saw them kudo it right in front of me (through the vc stream) and i didn't think this post would get as long as it did but... well i already wrote it 😬 but yeah, this is my good friend note! check out this art they made for, still one of their favourite chapters, sharks fly. it's sandwiched in between some squid game au they made for a gift exchange for me..... it's a long story i don't wanna talk about it (embarrassing......)

but what i do wanna talk about!! is how note (referred to as "patient zero" regarding aci book club by the only other patient lol) just decided to read this fic completely of their own volition?? i didn't tell them to do that and for sure didn't expect them of all people to try reading it, ever (they're not really a fic reader) but they just did that, two years ago. and that was like, insane to me at the time because it's seriously so out of their depth guys they don't do enemies to lovers.... they still don't lol. but i was insane about this fic back then with no one to really be insane about it to so i just yelled about it to these friends out of context and i guess???? that was convincing enough to get this one to start the longest fic they'd ever read 💀

i had much fun having someone experience the fic i'd been insane over..... like i'm smiling about it rn thinking about the time i did a live reading of the chainsaw man (as i like to call him) chapter which was so fun i kinda forgot i had a hamilton musical i was supposed to watch that evening... that was awkward. and other chats we exchanged regarding the fic (they were reading chapters whenever they felt like it which i enjoyed because i like pacing these things out) but for some reason (i think things just happened around the time that disrupted the momentum) they never made it past chapter 26 😔 which was tragic to me but oh well....

well i'm am even more insane about this fic now because of this convoluted chain of events that gradually built and cascaded me towards whatever the fuck i'm doing now!! god. i've never made so much, anything, like ever. until now. because both note and rosa (who has not kudo'd this fic as far as i'm aware lol) made the decision beyond my expectations to commit to, a book club. which i organised. and i've been having a lot of fun! so much fun, there's all this wild "marketing" stuff i've been churning out in record fucking time by my standards. i've never felt so creatively fulfilled dude, never finished a thing in my life until these past few months. so that's awesome, and it's in large part because of note having committed to this fic again. so that's some of the story behind that one kudo haha.

and now we're at chapter 49, we're supposed to be talking about it tomorrow, which is today by now since it's 1 am but uhhhhhhh writing is so hard. i was supposed to just be cleaning up this draft i'd written like 5 days ago? i am now very hungry. there's actually more i'd drafted up from here just from more names i recognised as i kept expanding the kudo list that day buuuut i'm fuckeeeen cutting this off right here. i need to stop. the end.

[mizkit]

new blog post: trying to change my habits

new blog post on https://mizkit.com/trying-to-change-my-habits/

trying to change my habits

I am, as the subject line suggests, trying to change some habits. It isn’t going well, of course, but I’m trying.

I started taking a yoga class for newbs, and I’ve Not Wanted to go to every class since then, but I’ve gone and enjoyed all of them and indeed, have left every one going “if I did that 3 or 4 times a week I’d probably feel a lot better,” but I’m trying to change habits in a SUSTAINABLE manner, not “DO ALL THE THINGS / NEVER MIND I’D RATHER DIE”.

I’m trying to spend less time on the computer in the evenings (she says after being on the computer ALL evening), and I have Three! Separate! Plans! to keep me off it.

Plan One is READ MORE. This is actually the most successful of the Plans, because I find it easier to remember to read than either of the Other Plans.

Plan Two is DRAW MORE. I’ve taken some steps toward making this easier–I did get have the brainstorm that probably Udemy or whatever it’s called has an APP, which would mean not having to turn the computer on to do the lessons I bought a thousand years ago (because as previously discussed, The Problem Is The Computer), but the habit is just really not there. I’m working on it, but this is where I need the Magic Time Blocking App which will chime pleasantly 3 days a week at a set time and say, “Do your art now, Catie!”

Plan Three is to DO SOME KNITTING. There is literally nothing stopping me from doing this except I forget. I’m almost sure if I dug the just-started project out from under the books that have been piled on top of it, I would remember more easily to do a row. However, that requires remembering to dig the project out from under the books, which I should do right now while I’m actively thinking about it.

(pauses. returns after doing that. there. now it’s on a bookshelf and easier to see.)

I guess there’s also Plan Four, which is “watch some tv with my husband” but there’s been nothing on that we’ve been INTENSELY WANTING to watch so it hasn’t had much weight.

Anyway, yeah, so those are “keep off the computer” sorts of attempts at habit-changing. Like I said, of all of them, the reading is going pretty well, and frankly, I’ll take that. :)

I’m also TRYING to work a bit more exercise in, just walking, and I tell you, embarrassingly, I forget to do that too. Today I meant to stop editing halfway through the manuscript and go for a walk, and I just…forgot. Which seems to be much more common than not. And I’ve found this rather decent-looking 60 day walking program which would tell me what to do if I’d only remember to do it! And actually, possibly, be fit enough to walk vigorously for 60 minutes at a time, which I’m not quite sure I am…

(Of course, then we digress into the problem I was discussing on BS the other day, which is: I sweat like a horse, and the prospect of bringing exercise clothes to change into/out of is actually a Huge Impediment, which, like: that’s ridiculous. But it’s true. And the only way to avoid it as a problem is to either walk after work in my work clothes (which are not, like, WORK clothes, but they’re not intended to be drenched with sweat, either) or get up early and walk before work and then shower and go to work, and look, I’ve met me.)

Anyway, I’m not really trying to change everything everywhere all at once, I’m more like mentally lining up things to ease my brain into the idea of doing them. I think when this 6 week class session is over for yoga I’ll pick up a second class, and WALKING would be good.

(I do walk. I walk to and from work every day unless it’s absolutely lashing, and sometimes then. But I want to add in a Walking With Purpose sort of activity, too, y’know? My big dream is getting back to swimming, but I have to get to where I can get myself to the gym, first….)

[girlfriendline]

15 People 15 Questions

ty for the tag @babygirlboberrey 💛

1. are you named after anyone?

no, but i was very almost named after perdita from in 101 dalmations until my dad stepped in and said absolutely not to the pregnancy hormones. ftr my mother maintains to this day it wouldn't have been a bad name. can you imagine. perdy.

2. when was the last time you cried?

within the last week for sure. it's just such a wonderful time of the year.

3. do you have kids?

nope, and that's never going to change. i neither want kids, nor would be a good mother, and i have a hard enough time looking after myself lmao.

4. what sports do you play/have you played?

i used to competitively swim through high school (although not in the way i think that equates to in the us), and i played football (soccer) on and off. the big one was show jumping, i made it all the way up to competing internationally for gbr. i used to wake up and ride at 5am before school and then again after school which, looking back, was quite frankly insane. i took being the weird horse girl Very Seriously.

5. do you use sarcasm?

more than other people probably appreciate.

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

i've honestly never considered this before this question but i think maybe clothes??? or colours of clothes? i'm not sure why either, i never remember them.

7. what’s your eye color?

blue ish

8. scary movies or happy endings?

if i'm alone, happy endings. if i'm with a bunch of people, scary movies. i'm a baby. i need emotional support.

9. any talents?

i'm very good at horses. i've never lost anything when i've been drunk. i can type much faster than i should physically be able to considering i use three fingers total. i can water ski (fairly useless tbh). i'm also very good at bringing animals home from the streets (my family would argue this is not a talent but a curse). i can sing, sort of.

10. where were you born?

uk

11. what are your hobbies?

watching hockey. suffering through f1. reading. running. hiking. swimming. playing guitar (badly). apparently lately building my own furniture. rewatching the same three tv shows over and over again. making gifs when the divine inspiration strikes. playing sims. baking.

12. do you have any pets?

four cats: a grumpy ginger and white old aged pensioner called spike (actually. maybe this is just claude giroux in cat form); loulou, who looks way too posh to have come from the streets; mishka, the love of my life my sweet angel baby darling who never does any wrong; and pasha, demon void cat who followed me home 3 months before i moved countries (and wasn't that a headache and a half) and who's probably going to send someone (me) to an early grave.

two dogs: indy, looks exactly like a fox, found her in the desert outside the rescue centre and they refused to take her in. she's my little mountain dog. and alfie, who we rescued 6 months ago, and who is best described as 'imagine there's a velociraptor in your home but the velociraptor is on fire and also your home is on fire and also you are on fire and also'. he's majority german shorthaired pointer. iykyk.

13. how tall are you?

between 5'8 and 5'9

14. favorite subject in school?

i used to love maths because it required a lot less brain power and subjective answers than everything else. in uni, my forensic science classes, or the only enjoyable thing from my first time round at uni, some fake ass course to build up credits called 'the universe as an art' which consisted of going outside to look at the stars and writing a poem about the moon.

15. dream job.

training horses. which sort of was my job that i had to give up when i moved here :)

i think a lot of people have already been tagged but @yabagofmilfs @amandaleveille @girldewar @tblueger @masonshaws @babygirlspurgeon

[dweetwise]

The Long Con (part 1/6)

Happy Oktoberfest! 🍻 With the festival starting today in München, I figured it would be the perfect time to start posting this fic 🥰 Please also check out @ell-clavel's amazing riconti art that inspired me to write this AU in the first place 🧡 Rated G | 1.5k words | ao3 link [next]

"Man, look at all these people!"

Meg's grin was bright as she jogged past Ace and looked around in awe, her bow-adorned braids bouncing in time with her steps.

Ace hadn't expected quite this much of a crowd, either. It was only a Monday afternoon but the festival area was quickly filling up with groups flocking to the large beer tents or shopping at the stalls lining the central street.

He knew Oktoberfest was popular, but not this popular.

"I wonder if they're here to see Denson too." Ace smirked. "You might have some competition for the spot as her number one fan."

Meg's face scrunched up. "Shut up. You're the one who insisted on flying all the way out here, not me. Oh, look, there's a chocolate fruit stand!"

Ace smiled and bit back a snarky comment as Meg excitedly took in what the festival had to offer. The girl was an avid fan of country artist Kate Denson's work—Ace had a sneaking suspicion it was something she'd listened to with her late mother—and after an off-hand comment that Denson would be performing in Münich at this year's Oktoberfest?

Well, Ace simply hadn't been able to resist.

Just like he couldn't resist obnoxiously cooing, "Want me to buy you some choccy bananas?" when Meg kept eyeing the food stall.

Meg bristled. "I'm not fucking five years old."

"Really? Could have fooled me, with those pigtails."

"I'm just blending in," Meg said. 

She did a twirl to show off the rest of her outfit: a frilly top and floral bodice combined with full-length lambskin pants. She looked like she'd jumped straight out of one of those quaint paintings of a girl yodeling in the Alps.

"Which is more than I can say for some people," Meg snarked.

Unlike Meg’s outfit, Ace’s get-up had been thrown together on a budget. The fancy red waistcoat he’d…acquired from a casino’s staff room and it clashed horribly with the cheap fake bundhosen bought from a tourist shop. Hopefully, the random scarf and traditional Argentinian belt he’d tacked on would make it seem more like a fashion statement instead of an insult to Bavarian culture.

"So I took some creative liberties," Ace said.

"Yeah, that’s probably for the best." Meg smiled smugly. "You're about sixty years too old to pull off leather pants, anyway."

Ace gasped. "Attacked by my own protégé! The audacity!"

"Wonder where I learned that from," Meg said dryly. She looked around again. "I'm gonna go scope out the other tents before the concert."

"And here I thought you wanted me to hold your hand at baby's first festival."

Meg rolled her eyes and pointed at a large tent with something resembling a clock tower next to it. "That one looks the busiest. You go check it out and I'll come find you once I'm done."

Ah, ever efficient. Ace had taught her well.

"Remember to have some fun, too," Ace said. "All work and no play makes Meg a very dull girl!"

"And you remember what we're actually here for." Meg's piercing blue gaze bore into Ace's. "If I find you in a beer chugging contest again, so help me—"

"That was one time and the frat boys dared me!"

"Ace."

Ace smiled and shook his head. "Of course. Who do you take me for?"

Meg raised an eyebrow. "I bet I can score more than you."

"Oh, really?" Ace countered. "Maybe whoever loses should pay for lunch the rest of the week, if you're so confident."

"Deal." Meg turned around, waving over her shoulder as she walked away. "Smell you later, old fart!"

"Have fun, Firecracker."

Meg disappeared into the crowd and Ace allowed himself a moment to appreciate how far they'd come. It seemed like just yesterday that he'd taken the girl in.

A few years ago when he'd been stateside, Ace had managed to cash out big after a blackjack win streak. When he'd left the casino, he only made it two blocks down the street before someone bumped into him and Ace was very aware of the weight of his wallet disappearing from his pocket while he struggled to right himself.

The thief had run off in a blur of red hair and sneakers pounding on pavement. After feebly trying to chase after them, Ace had stayed in the area and waited, and only a few hours later the pickpocket—a teenage girl—returned to the scene of the crime. She was clearly tailing a woman in a fur jacket and designer purse, but even across the street Ace could see that both the fur and bag were obvious fakes.

Amateur mistakes, really.

This time, Ace had familiarized himself with the surroundings beforehand and even as the girl spotted him and took off in a sprint, he eventually managed to corner her in an alleyway.

And after some angry screaming from the girl and a kick to Ace's shin, they'd ended up in a 24/7 shoddy diner with Ace buying her a meal in exchange for her story.

Meg had been homeless for months after her mother passed away from cancer. At only seventeen and with no close relatives, she'd been forced out on the streets and struggling to survive; it was only her sharp reflexes and years as a track star that kept her afloat by doing petty crimes.

And maybe it was the situation that was eerily similar to Ace's own childhood, or the fire he could see in her eyes, but Ace had only smiled before critiquing her pickpocketing technique and asking if she'd ever thought about being a con artist.

That was how Ace ended up taking Meg under his wing and teaching her everything he knew. With his experience and her quick feet, they made a surprisingly good team and had traveled across the States stealing and scamming much more efficiently than Ace usually managed on his own.

Having another person in on his schemes made a big difference. Meg could do anything from pretending to join Ace's poker table as a stranger to emptying someone's purse while Ace was doing magic tricks as a street performer. Meg had only been caught once by the police, and she'd been so convincing at sniffling pathetically and claiming she was only fifteen that the officer had taken pity and simply called her father—a.k.a. Ace's burner phone—instead of taking her down to the station.

But easy money or not, Ace hadn't expected their arrangement to last long. A few months later when Meg turned eighteen, she'd already earned enough to start her life anew—yet when Ace asked where she was planning to settle down, he only received a look of pure betrayal. And then there was screaming and crying and Meg accusing him of abandoning her, just like her dad and everyone else.

Ace had never wanted children, but as he dared to hug Meg for the first time and she merely clutched at his shirt and sobbed in his arms, he decided he'd do his best to be there for her the way nobody had been for him.

That was four years ago and Meg was still here, so he must have been doing something right.

Ace knew that their friendship was unorthodox. A middle-aged man and grumpy young woman who were visibly not related often garnered suspicious looks, especially whenever they went out to eat in a proper restaurant or money was tight enough that they had to share a twin instead of booking separate motel rooms.

Which was ironic, because it was Ace who hated sharing a room with Meg. She took ages in the shower, always sat on Ace's bed to eat and got crumbs all over the sheets, and stayed up way too late watching crappy late-night TV when Ace was trying to get his beauty sleep. It was like she knew exactly how to annoy him and did it with a smile every chance she could.

He tried not to show how proud he was of her mischievous streak.

Ace chuckled to himself. He couldn't have asked for a better partner-in-crime and he was glad they'd had enough extra cash to make the trip to Germany. Even if she tried to play it cool, Meg was clearly excited about seeing both the country and her favorite musician.

The fact that this happened to be one of Europe's biggest festivals, with countless drunk, rich patrons for easy pickings and dense crowds to quickly disappear into was simply a bonus.

Ace took a steadying breath and straightened his shirt—patterned with tiny card suits that hopefully nobody would notice weren’t traditional Oktoberfest checkers—and slipped on a familiar confident persona. As long as he pretended that he belonged here, everyone else would believe it too.

With a carefree smile and a spring in his step, Ace made his way to the beer tent to people-watch for a worthwhile target.

[eldrigeonsss]

Hey- uh hi :]

You haven’t posted about TAZ in a bit and I got into ethersea a few weeks ago, so I was curious as to if you had any fun little oksamber headcanons? 👉👈 I also can’t find a ton of consistent kodeira designs so is there anything you like to specifically include in ur art?

Tyyyyy :3

Omg hi!!!! Welcome to Ethersea hell!! I need to draw some more taz stuff, as soon as the burnout wears off :3

First off, in terms of Oksamber headcanons, I have one major one that maybe poisoned the watering hole for quite a few Oksamber enjoyers in the vicinity :3

It’s a little silly, but The Green Bandana is my favorite little concept for Oksamber. Just bc I think it’s cute, and there’s a lot of potential for angst and stuff with it! Essentially, when Amber was younger on the shoreside, she always wore this green bandana in her hair. Sort of a staple of her very minimalist fashion, that stuck with her all the way up until they first started their descent down into Founders Wake. When Oksana was chosen by Koda, Amber gifted her the bandana, and she hung onto it for 20 odd years, to remember Amber by. (Actually my good friend @taakosleftshoe wrote a super good fic about it!!! She’s a phenomenal writer, and an absolutely lovely individual with so much enthusiasm for creativity in her heart.)

In terms of my design for Kodira, since I think the only canon descriptor for her is dark curly hair, I kinda get a little silly with her design! I need to rework it sometime, but the things I always include are dark eyes that sort of hold a reddish glow from within, little moles under each eye, a red crystal earring, and of course, the green bandana holding her hair up!

Actually! Amber also has a red crystal in her design too but I don’t draw her with her captains jacket too often so I don’t usually get to show it off

Hope you enjoy those tiny tidbits :3 I gotta get back on that Ethersea grind soon, I reworked Devo’s design recently and I need to actually share it!

(Also, @taakosleftshoe pls if you want to add your own headcanons/design choices with your Oksamber designs, I’m staring at you with my big ol eyes :> you are the CEO of Oksamber, after all)

[fountainpenguin]

"If you wanna stay young, get both feet in it! 18 'til I die!" (x)

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6 years ago I posted this art on my blog, and now it's finally time to share the story that goes with it! New Origin of the Pixies chapter today!

Chapter 42 - “The Unicorn Years”

Read on FFN || Read on AO3

Start from Chapter 1

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Today's the day that Sanderson celebrates his adult wings… By which I mean it's the day that H.P. celebrates Sanderson's adult wings. I'm not getting ANY flashbacks to how Ambrosine treated H.P. when HE was young. Come say hello to the newest adult in the cloudlands (and party on)!

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

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The Unicorn Years

Autumn of the Murky Roots

I have to confess, it amused me how mortified Sanderson was to have his first real birthday party. He'd always been a difficult nut to crack. I knew of little that could fluster him. Of all the things to do it, it would be a birthday celebration. To my own surprise, I actually didn't mind the event… or the shifting of attention from me to him. Let him have his day. Things would be back to routine again soon enough.

"Are you still sore?" I asked when I fetched him from his apartment that morning. Hawkins and I had already started cooking breakfast in the other building. It wasn't like Sanderson to be late when it was his turn to help. Granted, at 159k myself, I'd been a loudmouthed rebel- but Sanderson? Nah. He was too dependable to bail on me without a two weeks' notice.

… Huh. I'd been 174,000 when I fled the Academy, jumping from Fairy World to Earth. I was over 491,500 when I came crawling back. And over 650,000 now, though Venus Eros had worked the best magic on my body that she could in an attempt to keep me youthful. How strange. A full 650k years of life experience under my belt, and sometimes I still felt only as mature as that sharp-tongued little "fairy" juvenile who dropped out of school. This body that I wore had been twisted up, dunked in the wash, scrubbed with bleach, and hung to dry again. I lived now on extremely borrowed time and Venus held my leash in the palm of her hand. That's not a favor I can ever repay. I am in her debt for the rest of my existence, and I suspect the rest of the pixie race is too. Which is just peachy. Love that for me.

"Incredibly sore, sir," Sanderson mumbled. He gripped my forearm with both hands, every step slow and wobbly as we made our way through the apartment hall. He'd put on fluffy snowflake socks that I didn't remember ever seeing him in before. No shoes. Still had his casual clothes on. His heels scraped along the thin carpet, scritching and scratching.

"It will pass."

Sanderson glanced over his shoulder at his new long, sweeping wings. I drank him in too. He's grown several inches taller than he'd been as a mere juvenile. Not quite as tall as I was, but getting closer. His wings now matched mine in length, though mine glittered transparent blue. His were tender, still smudged and milky-colored from the moulting. They reminded me in their haunting way of that afternoon nearly 160,000 years ago when Kalysta held him to her breast, nursing him until the flight casings cracked off his wings. He said, "The return to normalcy can't come soon enough, H.P.… I don't think I've ever ached this harsh in my life."

I trailed my eyes to his again. Sanderson, weak and winded, hadn't put on his shades. Those little lavender flecks looked just like mine. How strange. As a gyne, I was bulkier and more freckled than he was, but we shared every single one of our genes. We even shared the Ivorie brand cowlicks in our hair.

"That's only to be expected," I told him (in response to his complaint about the soreness). "You've just shed every pore on your body and put on several inches. The elasticity in your new skin isn't fully developed yet. Things will hurt more than you're used to. That goes for both inside and out. Be careful."

I didn't pressure him to help with breakfast, and especially not when he kept scratching off flakes of skin. His scalp had gotten the worst of it, so he kept pulling off little flakes from around his hair follicles. The younger pixies badgered him constantly about his new shape when he arrived at the pavilion. I had 320 of them now. 320 pixies who left me dripping with exhaustion and insanity every other day. Pregnancy had dealt a heavy blow to my once-youthful body, even though I didn't carry them the way that Fairy drakes did, but so far, Venus's medical intervention was winning. Hadn't died yet. And when we were in the pavilion and I sat across from Sanderson with my plate… it almost seemed a guarantee.

159,426 years.

Sanderson had his adult wings now. I'd known it was coming. Not the date, but I was just over 154,000 when I moulted into mine. He'd used less magic growing up than I did, aging more slowly because of it, but apart from that minor delay, our shedding patterns seemed nearly identical.

159,426. His inner organs, up until now the size of raisins in his tiny juvenile body, finally had room to grow. Exactly 500 years from now, he'd be fully fledged. Capable of reproducing… Well, if he were a Fairy, at least. I wasn't sure how things worked for pixies… I hadn't had Sanderson until I was almost 490k. Would his body draw the time out equally long? Or would there be third-generation pixies just a few centuries from now?

Three generations. My employees with offspring of their own. Yikes. Was I getting that old?

Bayard, holding little Featherstone (who scrambled over him), let out a whistle as Sanderson clumsily tried to push his new, longer legs between the picnic table and its bench. "Well, moulting sure acts fast. Your hips have already gotten wider, studmuffin."

"Have they?" Sanderson lifted his shirt and started to check himself over. I yanked it down down.

"Not here. Wait until you're alone."

"Yes, sir."

I contacted the Eroses during breakfast. Drk. Cupid answered my call, but he and his brothers had their hands full of work. That was fine by me. I was just glad a responsible adult - Drk. Ludell - poofed out in their place with his clipboard and wooden examination tools. Sanderson protested his probing, still wanting to eat his breakfast, but I held firm.

"Stay here and let him run his tests. You're the first adult pixie besides myself the Eros family has ever been able to observe. I need to get in contact with your Refract anyway. While I'm gone, show due respect to the Triplet of the Evening. He's overworked and underhyped."

Sanderson rolled his eyes, but that was the most youthful rebellion I saw from him.

[Cnt'd on FFN / AO3 - Links at top]