#i refuse to call them anything but naruto and sasuke it's funnier this way

[yume-fanfare]

wait are the boys on the right naruto n sasuke

did homegirl go to school w naruto n sasuke

[panharmonium]

Merlin and Naruto

I did Merlin here, so here’s Naruto! :D

[disclaimer for everyone: I have only watched up through Season 10 of Shippuden (the arc with the Five Kage Summit), and I am trying to avoid spoilers for everything after that point, so please don’t interact with this (including tags, because tumblr shows them to me automatically) unless you are avoiding ALL spoilers.  For me, this includes discussion about whether you like/dislike future seasons, comparisons of various seasons in terms of quality, etc.  Thanks, everyone! <3]

My favorite parent-child relationship: I know they’re not blood-related, but Iruka and Naruto have me crying every time I see them together.  Naruto straight-up says that when he’s with Iruka he feels like he knows what it’s like to have a father, and honestly, Iruka loves Naruto so much at this point that he would insta-adopt him if Naruto asked.  I love how Naruto always cites Iruka as the first person who cared for him even later in the show when Iruka hasn’t had as much screentime, and when I saw Iruka cry because he’s so proud of Naruto at the end of the Pain arc, it was just...too much for my little heart to handle.

My favorite sibling relationship: You know, thinking about it, almost all of the people in Naruto are only children, as far as we know!  But in terms of just that sibling vibe - Sakura and Naruto definitely give me that feel.  I know he has a crush on her, but their relationship has always felt more sibling-like to me, and I especially love how deep their bond has become by the time we get to Shippuden.  They are just so comfortable with each other now - the depth of the love and friendship they feel for each other is palpable.  

My favorite family relationship (other): I adore Naruto’s relationship with Jiraiya.  That scene where Naruto falls asleep against his back almost killed me, and Jiraiya’s later line, “Your smile is my salvation” - that was too much.  It absolutely destroyed me.  The way Jiraiya kind of gave up on everything after his old life went to hell - neverending wars, Orochimaru gone, his original students dead, his student’s students dead, Minato dead - he just ran away after that, and it was meeting Naruto that kind of rekindled that spark of hope in him and helped him reconnect with his community and rediscover a sense of purpose in his life.  Naruto enabled him to finally come home, and I think that’s beautiful.

My favorite friendship between two people: There are so many friendships in Naruto that I love (one of the greatest things about this show for me has been how little focus is given to romantic relationships, at least so far; it’s very much a friendship-oriented show), but right now I’m in a bit of a Kakashi-Yamato hole.  I was super primed to not like Yamato when he first showed up, because him being there meant that my favorite character WASN’T there, and also he ended up replacing Kakashi on the one mission where the team finally found Sasuke, but the guy won me over in the end.  He is one of my favorite characters now - my heart just swells every time I see him - and I think his relationship with Kakashi is super interesting.  I’ve written before about how Kakashi’s only truly intimate friendships are with people who are dead, and I do think that applies when it comes to Yamato, too, even though the two of them are obviously very companionable and close.  There is still a level to that relationship where Kakashi is a bit of a mentor figure, the “superior officer,” which results in a degree of (still friendly and affectionate) distance.  And as with all of his other relationships, Kakashi doesn’t really confide in Yamato about his life or open up to him in the same way that he does when he talks to his dead friends - but at the same time, there is an element to their relationship that doesn’t exist in Kakashi’s other friendships, and it’s the fact that Kakashi trusts Yamato with his kids, implicitly and without reservation.  Kakashi’s entire life right now is very much enmeshed in what happens to his students, and even if he doesn’t necessarily talk about that with Yamato, Yamato is still deeply involved in that work.  Yamato VOLUNTEERED for that work.  And he continues to dedicate himself to it even when his first mission as Kakashi’s stand-in ends up going completely off the rails and turning into WAY more than he signed up for.  He keeps doing his utmost for Kakashi’s kids without it even being his original responsibility, and that is such an unusual thing, for Kakashi, who in every other circumstance is always the one stepping in to help other people, the one who always shoulders his burdens alone.  Nobody ever asks Kakashi if he needs help with these incredibly high-needs children, and neither does Yamato - but the difference is that Yamato jumps in to help regardless, and he stays no matter how complicated things get.  That’s huge, and it’s only going to become more important.  It’s just - it is difficult for Kakashi to have intimate friendships with people who don’t share his history, and this rules out almost everybody else in the world, because all the people who truly share his own history are dead.  But the degree to which Yamato has altruistically and irreversibly entwined himself into the most important parts of Kakashi’s new history - the chapters being written right now, the ones that are going to define the rest of Kakashi’s life - means that Yamato is well on his way to breaking through that wall and becoming the first exception to a universal rule. [There is a lot to be said on Kakashi’s side of this, too, like - every time Kakashi refuses to call Yamato by his code name I lose my mind just a little bit, and I have MANY thoughts about Kakashi basically dragging folks who’ve been victimized or exploited or experimented on out of ANBU and then absorbing them into his own team, where they become a part of a family-type unit that respects them and cares about them and treats them like human beings.  I mean, there’s a huge difference between the Yamato we meet in S2 vs. the Yamato we know in S10 (and the same thing goes for Sai!) - and that’s something I think about a lot.]

My favorite friendship between a group:  I love all of the team dynamics, but Team Gai is a fave XD  The absurd contrast between oh-so-serious Neji vs. Gai/Lee’s incredible goofiness (with Tenten’s exasperation in between) is comedy gold.  I screamed with laughter in S1 when Gai was trying to get Neji to put his hand in the circle and do their “shout a slogan like a sports team” thing - I’ve never seen anything funnier on this show than jonin!Neji trying to put up with Gai’s antics.  

My favorite mentorship: My favorite mentorship is always Kakashi and whichever kid happens be onscreen with him at that moment, but I’ll be honest and say that Kakashi+Sasuke was the first dynamic that got me actually invested in this show (as opposed to me just watching it because it was on and not really caring what happened to any of the characters).  They are still the mentorship dynamic about which I have the most complex feelings, and that is especially true after the last season we watched.  I will probably end up making a separate post about this, because I still have not written down all of my thoughts about the end of Season 10 and I am still trapped in my feelings about this very lost child and the only adult who ever tried to help him the way he deserved to be helped, and I know I have way more to say about them than I can reasonably fit in this bullet point.  But - the short version is that I am super compelled by the way that every tragedy that���s befallen Kakashi is precisely what shapes him into the only adult who can help this particular kid, the way seemingly senseless events ended up putting Kakashi in a position where he’s the only adult who can intervene on this kid’s behalf many, many years later.  The way Sasuke’s plight (and the potential that Kakashi has to help him) suddenly grants meaning to the worst parts of Kakashi’s life - that knocks me on my butt.  

My favorite rivalry: So I probably would not have said this until the episode where Kakashi comes three seconds away from being made Hokage, but I’m gonna say Gai & Kakashi, solely to express my love and appreciation for Gai in that episode.  This is the ep where Gai challenges Kakashi to a race through the entire village (as a sort of “last hurrah before we can’t do this kind of silly shit anymore” thing) and Kakashi is initially kind of reluctant to do it, because he’s stressed out about a lot of things, but he does end up agreeing to it, and then he has SO much fun, and I LOVED this so much; I can’t even tell you.  This moment takes place immediately after Kakashi returns from that horrible, awful confrontation with Sasuke, and everything preceding this scene was very hard for me to see, because everybody is just asking Kakashi to do more and more and more for them without giving him even a hot minute to be like “i almost just killed my own kid.  i almost just had to kill my own kid, who was trying to kill my other kid, who was trying to kill kid #1 first, so i wouldn’t have assume the burden of killing him myself.”  Nobody checks on him, nobody asks, and Kakashi has to just hold onto that horror and also fret over the uncertain yet chilling secrets that Madara Uchiha disclosed and also prepare to shoulder the crushing weight of an office he never asked for - AND THEN.  GAI SHOWS UP.  And even though Gai doesn’t really know what happened, he still checks Kakashi over from top to bottom to make sure he’s in one piece, and then he drags him into this stupid competition, and it makes Kakashi LAUGH.  They go running all out across the craterized scene of devastation that used to be their home, and they have FUN doing it, and Kakashi straight-up tells Gai, “This was just what I needed,” which - god.  It would be great if Kakashi had somebody he could actually talk to, sure, but there’s also a space in our lives for people who just cheer us up, no questions asked.  It’s like when you tell someone you have a problem and they ask, “Do you want to talk about it or do you want to be distracted?”  Sometimes you don’t need to talk about it.  Sometimes you just need people who will take you for a goofy footrace and make you feel like you’re running too fast for any of your troubles to ever touch you again, for a few minutes. 

My favorite hatred/antipathy: The answer to this question used to be Kakashi and Itachi, and while I’m even MORE fascinated by their dynamic now than ever, it’s taken on a whole new dimension, given that I think Itachi is (secretly) thrilled to see someone like Kakashi so committed to taking him down and keeping Sasuke safe.  So, in place of that, I’ll just say that I love how much all of the Akatsuki cannot stand each other XD  Almost none of them get along, and it makes me laugh every time - I can’t believe they ever get anything done, though I guess that’s to be expected when you get that many super-criminals together in a room.  I especially love how they all think Orochimaru is so stupid...cannot get over them laughing at him and his body-snatching immortality schemes.

My favorite potential relationship between characters who never talk in canon: Okay, these are both silly answers, but - I would have KILLED to see Jiraiya interacting with Minato’s team.  Like, I’m certain they spent time together, but honestly, what I wouldn’t give to have witnessed some of it.  All I could think about during that mini-arc where Jiraiya teaches Naruto how to sync up with Gamariki was how little!Kakashi would have taken one look at the dancing frogs and decided he would be using dog!summons for the rest of his life; meanwhile Obito would have already been in the frog’s mouth begging to be launched into the air like a cannonball.  Also - my sister said the other night how it is a CRIME that we never got to see Sasuke forced to interact with Jiraiya and honestly, that is too true.

[naplunamod]

primrose  (an itaxsaku fic)

This was for a gift exchange in an itasaku server i was in...my prompt was “That doesn’t mean what you think it means.”  here’s hoping that whoever’s prompt i got will see this  (sorry it’s late i got caught up with taking summer classes)

Men were dense.

Uchiha men unbelievably so. Or at least that's what she thought at first.

So when Sakura received her first bouquet of flowers from Itachi Uchiha, a beautiful mixture of blue salvias, pansies, pink camellias with a single creamy white lily in the middle of it, for her official graduation as Tsunade's apprentice, she smiled and blushed while taking it but ultimately thought nothing of it. After all men were strange and Itachi Uchiha was perhaps the strangest of them all.

The second time Sakura received flowers from Itachi Uchiha, if you could even consider them flowers, just so happened to be after a particularly hard death. She was 6 years old. Eyes as clear and unique as the twilight sky they reminded her of...at least when they weren't darkened to a deep purple with pain. Lady Tsunade tried to warn her. There were just some things medical chakra (which speeds up cell division to produce new healthy cells) couldn't heal. She should have listened. So when there were no more sweet smiles, no more ringing laughter, no more soft pleas for “Pleeeeease just one more story and I promise i'll go to sleep Sakura Onee-chan pretty pretty please with frosting on top”, Sakura was an emotionally devastated wreck (it came with wearing your heart on your sleeve). So when she saw the small aloe vera plant sitting so innocently on her window sill the next morning with his perfect scrawling handwriting on an even smaller card, she got angry. Was he mocking her? Giving her a plant that promoted healing, with an angry grief stricken cry the aloe had a new home against her wall. But, just like her, the next day the aloe was back in her window in it's small broken pot now glued back together with a small thank you written in messy doctor's script. That afternoon Tillian (or Tilli as Naruto and Ino would come to know her) gained a window buddy a golden pothos by the name of Balthazar (courtesy of Kakashi-sensei. It was cute in a weird sort of way).

These in her opinion strange but thoughtful and hey what girl didn't like to receive flowers every now and then occurrences continued to happen for a while. A daffodil here, an iris there whether it was a special occasion or not. Most of the time they were left on her doorstep or windowsill with just his name and no explanation. And never a bouquet, not since that first time,  just a single flower in a small vase or with a cute ribbon tied around it.

The first time he actually spoke to her was on her 21st birthday. Because  she had an early shift the next day and totally NOT because a certain ramen obsessed ninja begged her and threatened to tell a certain Ino-pig that she wanted a big blow out party until she gave in she found herself at a small celebration at Ichiraku. Naruto was going on about he and Sasuke's latest mission which ended up with Sasuke waist deep in muck and him dangling upside down from above while being attacked by the migratory birds they were sent to capture and relocate. Naruto was wildly and animatedly getting to the best part (his words and not her own), evidently one of the male birds took a liking to the back of Sasuke's head a little too much his resulting shudder and grumbled “It wasn't THAT funny dobe” made it all the funnier though she'd never say that out loud when they were interrupted by Itachi's soft and smooth “Sakura-San”. Somewhat surprised she smiled and returned his greeting. “Itachi-San. What brings you by?” Both Sasuke and Naruto seemed to be taken aback by Itachi's soft smile shot her way though she really had no idea why. Sure he was a little bit emotionally repressed but no more so than Sai.

If Itachi was uncomfortable with the sudden attention he was getting from Sasuke and Naruto he didn't show it. “I heard from a little black birdie that I might find you here for your birthday.”

Sakura hummed not surprised at all at that bit of information though she did make a mental note to put said curly-haired black birdie on bedpan duty for a week. Shisui may be an Uchiha in name but he was just about as gossipy as some of the younger nurses in the hospital and last thing she needed was rumors being started. Still she nodded to Itachi “Yeah I didn't want anything big so I decided to have dinner with the boys.”

Itachi nodded to them as if seeing them for the first time “Ototo, Naruto-kun... I don't mean to intrude I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday and to give you these.”

Sakura gently took the small bouquet he held out to her. “It's beautiful...thank you Itachi-san”. Much smaller than the first this one contained only a few simple flowers. A few magenta zinnias, a few gardenias and a red carnation framed by some smilax vines.

Itachi dipped his head “Ah.  I will take my leave then. Enjoy your meal Sakura-san. Ototo, Naruto-kun.”  Just as quickly as he appeared he was gone.

Sighing softly Sakura could feel their stares at the back of her head effectively ruining the mood. “What?” she turned to her two brothers in arms.

“What was that about??” Naruto pointed story forgotten.

“Ah...are you and my brother dating?” If it were anyone but Sasuke she would swear there was a hint of jelousy in his voice...then again it was Itachi he was asking about so it probably was.

Shrugging Sakura looked at the two of them “No we're not dating. He was just being nice it is my birthday after all.” Not that she should have to explain herself to them but really they were reading too much into a kind gesture. At their disbelieving looks she frowned “Look...Naruto remember last year when Itachi-san got you those special kunai for your birthday? And don't even get me started on how he practically buys out every tomato in the village for Sasuke's. Presents are expected to be given for your birthday. He's just being nice. Nothing more.”

More time passed and things continued on in the same manner. Sakura realized that soon she would need to start drying out and preserving her flowers because she was beginning to run out of room and even though it only used the most minimal amount of chakra to keep them fresh and beautiful eventually even that wears on you. Vowing to herself that after her shift she'd stop by the Yamanaka flower shop to grab a flower scrap book it would soon be forgotten for now. It would also lead to the first time in a few months that Sakura wouldn't receive flowers for a while. For when she reached her office one of the newly graduated nurses was waiting for her at her office door. His name was Tsukishima Kei, only a few years younger than her he was already well on his way to becoming head nurse. With his short messy blonde hair, honey colored brown eyes, and physic that despite not being a shinobi shows that he takes time to keep in shape it was really no wonder he was popular among the female patients however, he was surprisingly well liked with the kids. He could almost rival Shisui in the looks department though unlike Shisui his bedside manner could use some work. Nodding in greeting to him Sakura let him into her office after he asked to speak with her for a moment. Fifteen minutes later Tsukishima left her office and Sakura found herself with a date that Saturday evening. Ino was positively excited although Sakura got the distinct air of disappointment once she told Ino who it was she was going out with. But Ino didn't tell so she didn't ask. Sakura also vaguely wondered why Ino didn't comment on the bounty of flowers dotting her apartment everywhere... with the way she absolutely refused to let Sakura pick out her own clothes or do her own hair. But she had to admit when Ino finished she looked absolutely radiant. Tsukishima thought so too earning him a pretty blush as she looped her arm through his with a wave to Ino not to wait up. She never even noticed Ino's frown or the purple aster and another blue salvia sitting by her doorstep, carefully brought in by Ino upon her leaving. She did notice however a few weeks into dating Tsukki at his insistence she found it kinda cute that he wanted her to call him by the same nickname he best friend did... that the flowers had stopped. It made her feel weird and not in a good way. Did Itachi somehow know they were dating? And why did it matter so much? A week later much to her relief, perhaps with the uptick of missions he didn't have time to leave her any Sakura found a small bundle of yellow flowers on her desk. A yellow carnation, a yellow hyacintha, a marigold, and a yellow rose lay neatly on her desk tied up in a yellow ribbon. Smiling fondly albeit a little confused that they weren't in a vase like usual she pulled out a beaker and filled it with water for the flowers and placed them on the corner of her desk. Two months into dating Tsukki they decided mutually to break it off. While they found that they challenged each other intellectually they both agreed that that certain romantic spark just wasn't there. Sakura also realized that deep down some part of her was almost happy at the turn of events because she hadn't received any more flowers from Itachi since the yellow ones and she was 90% sure he knew she was dating someone despite she and Tsukki's efforts to keep it secret. It was weird how the thought of not getting more flowers from him, despite them rarely talking or seeing each other bothered her more than breaking up with Tsukki. It also didn't hurt that she noticed the longing glances that he shared with the new doctor, she believed his name was Tetsuro Kuroo and even teased him about them laughing at Tsukki's sputtering blush. It wasn't until Ino decided to visit one afternoon for lunch that Sakura realized that there might indeed be something to the flowers she had been receiving. It was a few days after her breakup honestly she never knew how Ino found out these things about her personal life so fast and Sakura agreed under the condition that they had lunch in her office because she was on duty today and on call for the next few days to which Ino readily agreed. As usual for their lunch dates they talked about their days what they had been doing since last seeing each other to her surprise Ino had started a tentative relationship with Sai of all people. Naturally talking about her own budding relationship Ino asked her friend about her own to which Sakura explained about she and Tsukki's mutual break up. And while she didn't seem too upset about it Ino still felt the need reply because at this rate the biggest fish was likely to swim away.

“Cheer up forehead. You know how that old cliche saying goes there are plenty of other fish in the sea.” She gauged her friend's reaction.

Sakura hummed not committally into her food “I don't know pig. The general consensus has not been in my favor. Aside from Tsukki nobody has shown any interest in me.”  

Ino could have.... wanted to slap her forehead. She knew Sakura could be a bit stubborn...still watching her friend closely she wondered if Sakura even knew with a mental sigh and eye roll (really and she though men were difficult but this also was Sakura she was talking about) “Those flowers on your desk seem to suggest otherwise.” she said dryly with a wave to the still living bundle.

Sakura looked up from her food with a raised eyebrow. “What are you talking about pig?” Those are just flowers....arn't they?

Ino did sigh out loud this time leave it to Sakura to forget the first thing they learned in kunoichi class. “If you don't know I'm not going to tell you.” She stood and grabbed her things but was sastified when Sakura got that look that she got when trying to puzzle something out. “Tell you what. Because I'm such an awesome friend...” she flipped her long hair behind her back earning an eyeroll from Sakura “...stop by the shop after your shift and I'll give you a hint. And bring those with you.” She nodded at the yellow flowers on her way out.

Sakura sighed as she settled into her couch notebook and scrap book in one hand, the book Ino let her borrow the night before “The Kunoichi's Kado” and a fresh hot cup of tea ready to do what she was best known for...research. She supposed if Ino went through all of this trouble she could at least give it a try though she was fairly confident that nothing would come of this. Especially after finding a new set of flowers on her windowsill this morning, a clovenlip toadflax, a moss rosebud and a spider flower. At least that had been her mindset when she started this little project hours earlier. But...she couldn't deny the evidence right in front of her and maybe realized it a lot sooner if she had continued on with her kunoichi classes.

Blue salvia -  I think of you

pansy – love and admiration

iris -  a message

pink camellia – longing for you

white lily – purity

aloe vera – grief He was grieving with her she realized looking over to Tillie

golden pothos – perseverance

daffodil - you're the only one

magenta zinnias – lasting affection

gardenia – secret love

red carnation – admiration, my heart aches for you

smilax – loveliness

purple aster – kindness, gentleness, wisedom

yellow carnation – jealousy

yellow hyacintha – jealousy

marigold – jealousy

yellow rose – jealousy

Sakura sighed at this though she supposed she couldn't blame him. She'd be jealous if she saw her crush going out with someone else as well. That also explained the lack of flowers.

Clovenlip toadflax – please notice my feelings for you

moss rosebud – confession of love

spider flower – elope with me hopefully he meant go out with him Sakura wasn't sure if she was ready for marrage just yet.

All this time Itachi had been plainely or not so plainely stating his feelings for her and she never realized. Though in a way it made sense not being able to express himself outwardly he expressed himself in the only way he really knew how. And she never noticed. She had to go see him right away. She had to know. Had to let him know.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at his pink haired teammate who currently was huffing like she had sprinted across the village which is exactly what she did she needed to train more with her boys if she's this winded from a little sprint.

“S...Sasuke is Itachi home? I need to talk to him.”

Sasuke's eyebrow rose even higher “Hn... he just left for a mission with his team about 10 minutes ago. His team moves pretty fast but if you hurry you might be able to catch him.”  Sakuke watched as her whole body seem to deflate meaning she likely wasn't going to go after him. Especially when he saw her worrying her lip with indecision “Look...his team is fast and effiecent. He should be gone for maybe three days. If that long. You could always just tell him when he gets back.” He leaned aganst the doorway still watching her.

“Y...yeah you're right. I wouldn't want him to not be focused on the mission. And I just might need a little more time to think myself.”

“Let me guess. You found something out and made a rash decision?” Sasuke smirked.

Sakura narrowed her eyes “How long?”

“Since your birthday for sure.”

“And you didn't say anything?” she asked incredulously.

Again Sasuke shrugged “Wasn't my place.”

“Ass...” Sakura muttered hating to admit that  he was right. No matter how frustrating it was knowing that she wouldn't be getting any answers rigtht away. But perhase it was for the best. A relationship with Uchiha Itachi wasn't something she could or should just jump into. “And you're ok with this?”

“At least I'm a good  looking one.” Sasuke retorted  earning himself an eye roll and a punch to the shoulder. “Besides. I'd rather it be you than any of his fangirls.”

Something wasn't right. Sakura could feel it like a second skin clinging to her rousing her from her sleep long before the Anbu arrived at her window. Call it a 7th sense if you will that medics tended to develop. She was already half way dressed when she heard the familiar tapping at her window.

“The Hokage requires your assistance. Several recon teams have come in severely injured and in critical condition.”  

Grabbing several soilder pills for herself no doubt in her mind she'd need them tonight they were both gone in a flash. What greeted Sakura was nothing short of complete chaos. Rolling her sleeves up she dived into the fray. Nobody would be dying tonight if she could help it.

Beep...

Beep....

Beep.......

Itachi groaned blindly reaching out to turn off that incessant beeping from his alarm. His entire body was sore all over and all he wanted to do was roll over and go back to sleep. His brow furrowed as his brain struggled to connect the dots. there shouldn't be an alarm clock going off he should still be out in the field....His eyes shot open and he sat up a little too quickly causing the world of sterile white around him to swim. Just how long was he out? He looked around the room once his vision cleared at least he was in a Konoha hospital which means he and his team had made it back...or close enough for someone to find them and bring them back. Laying back against his pillows he turned his head intending to get some more rest before he was undoubtedly bombarded with friends, family and the Hokage once they all knew he was awake when he saw evidence of someone already having visited. He chuckled softly to himself and closed his eyes. On the night stand was a black and red vase....it's contents a jonquil, a white jasmine and a single sakura branch. Returned affections and willingness respectively the thought of Sakura was willing to give them a try filled him with a nervous sort of warmth as he sank back into the bed tiredness once again over taking him. It  took a while, and admittedly he was worried but it seems that in the end he shouldn't have.

[thatshinobilife]

I’m almost too lazy to make this post because God it’s just so self explanatory but my loyalty to Temari runs too deep so here goes: 

They did exactly what I called they were gonna do and made her an over aggressive nagging house wive. This is why I complained over and over again three years ago when I saw they had moved her to Konoha because I KNEW someway somehow they were going to subject her character to this. They want her to be Yoshino 2.0 even though that’s NEVER been who she is because “lmao get it Shikamaru is just like his dad! Parallels!!”. They don’t take the time to think about how her character would actually react because none of that matters now - she exists solely to be Shikamaru’s wife. 

Some people are crying “abuse!” at what she did but I don’t really want to go there tbh. It’s very clear that in the Naruto universe things we find abusive are just par for the course. Calling out Temari in this instance would require we call out basically ever other female character which is not realistic. Domestic violence in Naruto is always played for laughs which is obviously fucked up but not something I think it’s fair to fault the characters for as we’re not intended to see it as abusive (even though realistically it is). No, what I really take issue with is the fact that being an overbearing and strict mother/wife is basically all Temari is given to do. 

This woman was born in one of the most fucked up situations of any character we see. He father was a walking human disaster, her mother was dead, and her youngest brother had a nasty habit of slaughtering anyone who looked at him the wrong way. She has always been strong and confident but throughout the series she softens considerably as she learns caring is not a weakness. She is a better diplomat than either of her brothers and remains calm and collected in even the tensest of situations. Her dynamic with Shikamaru has always been one of mutual respect and understanding which is what makes their relationship work so well (and IMO better than any of the canon relationships we got). Yes, Temari is a take no shit kind of person who probably WOULD chastise her son for his pitiful behavior - but not in the way we’re shown. In Boruto her parenting method basically amounted to “I’m just going to hit you and intimidate you until you get the picture and ultimately just end up listening to your cooler nicer wiser dad.” She doesn’t actually say anything of significance to Shikadai at all - that is reserved entirely for Shikamaru as he’s the influential one in their sons life. Temari is just there to be the ol’ ball-and-chain ~what a drag~ mom whose only dominion is the house she is confined to. THEN there’s the fact that Temari refusing to make dinner inevitably meant neither Shikamaru nor Shikadai could eat - as if a grown man could not make his own dinner and HAD to have his wife do it because it’s her domestic ~duty~. This is extra and dramatic but it actually makes me sick that they’re doing this to her. After everything she went through she would have something worthwhile to add to the conversation other than “bah you’re too easy on him I’m going to withhold meals to prove a point!!!”. She doesn’t treat her brothers like this and they’re consistently shown to value her opinion because her opinion is worth hearing.  Temari played a crucial role in Suna politics prior to the end of the series. She sat on the council and came with Gaara to all the kage summits/meetings. She was one of the best kunoichi in the series just brimming with potential and strength and ferocity. During the war I began to get annoyed with how much they were making her revolve around Shikamaru’s character because after a certain point basically all her dialogue was in relation to him. That’s when I knew things were about to take a hard left turn for shits-ville and boy was I right. In chapter 700 ALL we see her doing is sitting in a house chastising her son and serving her brothers tea before they head out to a kage meeting without her. We don’t get any indication that she’s still affiliated with Suna, hell we don’t even get any indication that she’s still a ninja. In the boruto manga/movie she doesn’t interact with her siblings ONCE and is not with them in the pit with all the other Kage/advisors. I was happy to see she still had her fan but other than that I left highly unimpressed. Now in the anime she is ONCE AGAIN pictured in a house, serving people drinks and nagging away as if that’s all she’s good for anymore. I know it was played as a joke but that’s exactly what makes me so mad - her character has become nothing more than a trope meant to appeal to the lowest common denominator. The nagging housewive angle truly is the lowest hanging fruit but studio peirrot really could not resist could they.

Nevermind the fact that it would have been way funnier had they subverted the whole “why did you marry such a strict woman” thing by having Shikadai side with his mom instead, saying something to the effect of “why did you marry such an unmotivated slacker”. Can we stop treating Temari like she’s just an overly aggressive loaded gun that’s just one mistep away from going off. I mean I genuinely love Shikatema but I do not think the Boruto anime understands Shikatema. Part of me still wishes they just hadn’t got together because they don’t actually feel like “them” when they’re portrayed like this. No one is being respected as a character. 

Anyway all this to say I’m basically done with the Boruto anime now. I might still watch the next couple of episodes because curiosity is gonna get the better of me but emotionally I have severed all connections. It just comes down to the fact that I cannot handle them so grossly mischaracterizing characters that I have loved since I was 11 years old. I actually don’t mind the new gen when they’re on their own but every damn time they show one of the original characters they manage to fuck them up in some way. We see it with Temari, with Naruto, with Yamato, with Sakura. Hell I can’t stand Sasuke and even I’m mad about what they did to him post chapter 699. I am never going to like the new gen characters more than the original cast so if watching Boruto means seeing them get completely decimated then I’m not gonna watch it. Simple as that. Naruto being an absent father is the worst crime but I have no doubt they’ll continue to top that in future episodes.