#i refuse to believe she had ANY interest in Nicky's father

[buckys-arm-and-rios-dagger]

I saw someone say they were mad that we didn't get an answer on who Nicky's father is and like...

You operating under the BOLD assumption that Agatha "you want straight answers ask a straight lady" Harkness didnt walk into a tavern, pick a man at random, go 'yeah that'll do', have sex for the sole purpose of having a kid, and then fuck off

[nevermindirah]

I've been drafting and redrafting this meta post for weeks now. It's about to be 5781 and my country that was founded on settler colonial genocide and slavery and a deeply flawed but fierce attachment to democracy might go full dictatorship in about 6 weeks and it's time for me to post this thing.

All our immortals are warriors, all have been traumatized by war. But only three of them died their first deaths as soldiers in imperial armies. This fandom has already produced gallons of meta on Nicky dealing with his shit, because Joe would not fuck with an unapologetic Crusader. But there's very rich stuff in Booker and Nile's experiences and the parallels and distinctions between them.

Nile was 11 when her dad was killed in action - that was 2005, meaning she and her dad both died in the same war that George W Bush started in very tenuous response to 9/11. Sure, Nile's dad could have died in either Iraq or Afghanistan, or in a training accident or in an off-the-books mission we won't know about for a hundred more years, but he died in the War on Terror all the same. I had to look it up to be sure because Obama "drew down" the Afghanistan war in his second term, but nope, we're still in this fucking thing that never should've happened in the first place. The US war in Afghanistan just turned 19 years old. A lot of real-life Americans have experiences like the Freemans, parents and children both dying in the same war we shouldn't be in.

I know a lot of people like Nile who join the US military not just because it's the only realistic way for them to pay for college or afford decent healthcare, but also because they have a family history of military service that's a genuine source of pride. Military service has been a way for Americans of color to be accepted by white Americans as "true Americans" - from today's Dreamers who Obama promised would earn protection from deportation by enlisting, to Filipino veterans of WW2 earning US citizenship that Congress then denied them for several decades, to slaves "earning" their freedom through service in the Union Army and in the Continental Army before it. As if freedom is a thing one should have to earn. Lots of Black Americans have the last name Freeman for lots of different escaping-slavery reasons, but it's possible that this specific reason is how Nile got her last name.

Dying in a war you know your country chose to instigate unnecessarily and that maybe you believe it shouldn't be waging is a very particular kind of trauma. It is a much deeper trauma when your military service, and your father's, and maybe generations of your ancestors', is a source of pride and access to resources for you but your sacrifice is nearly meaningless to the white supremacist system that deploys you. That kind of cognitive dissonance encourages a person to ignore their own feelings just so they can function. How do you wake up in the morning, how do you risk your life every day, how do you *kill other people* in a war that shouldn't be happening and that you shouldn't have to serve in just so that your country sees you as human?

We see Nile do her best to be a kind and well-mannered invader. Depending on your experience with US imperialism, Nile giving candy to kids and reminding her squad to be respectful is either heartwarming or very disturbing propaganda. We also see Nile clutching her cross necklace and praying. From the second Christianity arrived on this land it's been a tool of white supremacist assimilation and control, but like military service, it's a fucked-up but genuine source of pride and access to resources for many Americans whose pre-Columbian ancestors were not Christian, and it's a powerful source of comfort and resilience. This Jew who's had a lot of Spanish Inquisition nightmares would like to say for the record that it's not Jesus's fault that his big name fans are such shitty people.

Nile is a good person trying to do her best in a fucked-up world. "Her best" just radically changed. Her access to information on just how fucked up the world is has also just radically changed, because everything's so fucked up a person needs a lot of time to learn about it all and not only does she have centuries but she won't have to spend that time worrying about rent and healthcare and taxes, and because she now has Joe and Nicky and Andy's stories, and because she now has Copley's inside scoop on just what the fuck the CIA has been up to. Like, I want a fic where Copley tells Nile what was really behind the brass's decisions that led to her experiences on the ground in Afghanistan, that led to her father's death, but also I Do Not Want That.

Nile was 19 when Alicia Garza posted on Facebook that Black Lives Matter. She grew up in Chicago well before white people on Twitter were saying maybe police violence against Black people is a problem. She knows this is a deeply fucked up country, and she put on her Marine uniform and deployed with her team of mostly fellow women of color, and maybe she and Dizzy and Jay marched in the streets between deployments, maybe they texted each other when a white manarchist at a protest sneered at one of them for being a Marine. Nile's been busy surviving, and she knows some shit and she's seen some shit but she hasn't had much time to think about what it all means. Now she's got time. And Joe, Nicky, and Andy are willing to listen. (Is Copley willing to listen? I could see that going either way.)

Booker might also be willing to listen. The brilliant idea of cleaning up the rat Frenchman so that Nile can have millennia of emotional support and orgasms sent me down a Wikipedia rabbit hole, and holy shit do Booker and Nile have a lot of shared life experience as pawns of imperial wars. Obviously Booker is white and a man and that makes a very big difference. (Though G-d help me, Booker could be Jewish and France was knocking its Jews around like ping-pong balls in the 18th-19th centuries. Jewish Booker wouldn't make him any less white but it does add a shit ton of depth of common experience: military service as a way for your country to see you as a full member of society who matters, because who you are means that's not guaranteed.)

Booker was hanged for desertion from the army Napoleon sent to invade Russia as part of his quest to control all of Europe. We learn in the comics / this YouTube video that Booker was on his way to prison for forgery when he was offered military service instead of jail time. While we don't know how he felt about the choice beyond that he did choose soldier over inmate, it's unlikely he thought invading Russia was a great idea, given he tried to desert because Napoleon like a true imperialist dumbass didn't plan for how he was going to feed his army or keep them from freezing to death in fucking Russian winter.

I find it very interesting that the French Empire was at its largest right before invading Russia and fell apart completely within a few years. My country has been falling the fuck apart for a while now - see aforementioned War on Terror, growing extremes of economic stratification in the richest country in the world, abject refusal to meaningfully deal with climate change that US-based corporations hold the lion's share of blame for - but between Trump's abject refusal to meaningfully deal with the coronavirus and strong likelihood that he'll refuse to leave office even if a certain pathetic moderate I will hold my nose and vote for does manage to earn a majority of votes, ~y~i~k~e~s.

Our only immortals who have never known a world before modernity and nationalism happen to have been born of wars that were the beginning of the end for the imperialist democracies that raised them, and I think in the centuries to come that's going to give them some very interesting shit to talk about.

Nile's a Young Millennial, a digital native born in the United States after the collapse of the USSR left her country as the world's only superpower. She's used to a pace of technological change that human brains are not evolved to handle.

Napoleon trying to make all of Europe into the French Empire was a leading cause of the growth of European nationalism and the establishment of liberal democracies both in Europe and in many places that Europeans had colonized. Booker's first war produced the only geopolitical world order Nile has ever known and I just have so many feelings ok. Nile the art history nerd is probably not aware of this, and why would she be? This humble meta author is, like Nile, a product of US public schools, and all they taught me about world history was Ancient Greece/Rome/Egypt/Mesopotamia and then World War 2. Being raised in The World's Only Superpower is WEIRD.

Nile the Young Millennial is used to the devastating volume of bad news the internet makes possible. But she has absolutely no concept of a world where the United States of America is not The World's Only Superpower. In order to get up in the morning and put on her gear and point guns at civilians in Afghanistan, she can only let herself think so much about whether that American exceptionalism thing is a good idea.

She's about to spend many, many years where the only people who she can truly trust are people who are older than not only her country but the IDEA of countries.

She's got time, and she's got a lot of new information at her disposal. But there comes a point where my obsession with her friendship and eventual very hot sex life with Booker just isn't about sex at all. Nile needs someone to talk to about the United States who Gets It. Booker the rat Frenchman coerced into Napoleon's army, and Copley the Black dual citizen of the US and UK who's retired from a CIA career that he half understands as deeply problematic but half still believes in hence his mind-bogglingly stupid partnership with Merrick, are the only people on the planet Nile can talk to honestly about, and really be understood in, all the thoughts and feelings and fears and hopes of her experience as a US Marine.

And one more thing before I go get ready for Rosh Hashanah: Orientalism was a defining element of the Crusades and that legacy is painfully clear in current US-led Western military activity in Afghanistan, Syria, Israel/Palestine, you name it. Turns out memoirs by French veterans of the Napoleonic Wars are full of Orientalist language about Russia as well. I am maybe/definitely writing a fic where Booker spends his exile reading critical race theory and decolonial feminism and trauma studies monographs because he can't be honest with a therapist but maybe he can heal this way and become the team therapist his own damn self. I just really need him to read Edward Said and Gloria Anzaldúa and then go down on Nile, ok?

[side-effect-of-the-meds]

Hc prompt! If the aftg characters like to read what genres do you think they gravitate towards? (I’m 100% on board with the hc that Aaron reads educational textbooks for fun because I do the same and like Abby is just eating up those gardening books with a healthy side of cooking books in a futile attempt to become better at desserts)

If Neil doesn’t have his nose buried in a math textbook or an exy play book, he’s catching up on the books he missed reading in childhood. Most of the Foxes own copies of books like Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, and Percy Jackson so, as soon as he finishes one, they’ve got another ready for him. He’s not super into most of them but Percy Jackson has a special place in his heart bc Percy too finds himself in a shit ton of trouble bc of exactly one of two things: a) his father or b) his own goddamn mouth.  

Andrew is canonically a criminal psych major so he reads mystery novels and runs a blog where he methodically takes apart every aspect of the book and evaluates the validity of the motives of characters. He’s ripped apart every major mystery novelist for their shitty stories. 

Kevin reads a lot of nonfiction history books. Ask him about the fraught relationship between the UK and Ireland. I fucking dare you. He and Neil can go at it for hours and they tend to slip into their Irish and British accents respectively. 

Aaron does in fact read medical textbooks just for kicks. No one knows what kind of kicks he’s getting until he pinches one of Jack’s pressure points and he crumples. You thought Andrew was the one to watch out for? Wrong bitch. Aaron is equally as terrifying as his brother. 

Nicky reads a lot of books queer characters. It makes him really soft and teary-eyed. He tries to convince the twins to read them. Both of them refuse but silently steal the books when Nicky’s back is turned. They make subtle references and Nicky never knows whether it’s a coincidence or if they’re doing it on purpose.

Matt is super into true crime novels and had a rabid obsession with the Butcher of Baltimore. He burns every book he has with any mention of him after Neil’s kidnapping.

Dan likes action books/spy novels. She really enjoys trying to predict the twists and turns that it’ll take. She also likes to consider how she would have handled the situations had she been in them and wondering which members of her team would be in which roles.  

Allison is secretly a Jane Austen/classics kind of person. Renee knows this and uses it against her. You know those scenes where the main love interest grabs the ungloved hand of the main character while looking up into their eye as he press a chaste kiss to the back of their hand? That’ll put Allison out of commission for days. Catch her simpin for Renee at all hours of the day after an occurrence like that

Renee, honest to god, believes in ghosts. She reads paranormal novels only to have the bejeebers scared out of her bc she fully believes that an angered spirit could come back with such a vengeance. After finishing a book, you can find her cowering in Allison’s bed. Allison has no problem comforting her poor girlfriend after particularly scary books.  

[chaoslordjoe]

Bloodlines AU - Tiny Warmths Part 1

The cane clacked against the Schnee Manor's front door. Winter was welcomed by Klein who always showed her to the living room, knowing she needed a rest from the trip back home for the newest addition to the home.

"Long flight, dear?" Willow asked by the staircase, sniffing her coffee.

"More like a long sail, mother. We were inspected for hours by sea/air traffic control." Winter grumbled, walking over to the sofa.

"Yes, I heard about it from the news reports. You'd think they would recognize our snowflake by now."

"I'm not sure I want to test that theory." Before she could sit down, she was welcomed by a hug from her blue-haired brother-in-law.

"Good to see you Winter." 

Winter returned the hug best she could. "You as well, Neptune. How's fatherhood?"

Neptune could only sigh. "Exhausting so far. He's almost five months and I feel like I'm still getting used to all this."

"Weiss certainly wasn't kidding about how anxious you've been." She was handed a spot of tea. "Thank you, Klein." Then she turned back to the spearman. "Is my sister adjusting any better?"

“Surprisingly. But Nicky's been dealing with colic pain, so patience is a virtue she’s been having better than me. She's taken to this so much easier than I have."

Winter sipped at her tea. "It can't be easy with both you and her running businesses."

Neptune sat taking a cup of tea. "It's not, but we've adjusted and tried to settle into a routine. Even when she's at her busiest she refuses to hire nannies and will rock or breastfeed him while on a business call."

Winter tented her fingers. "It's funny. I never really considered how that works until seeing the photos she sent me while I was overseas."

"Pretty much no choice if he’s cranky.” Neptune answered. “He won't take a bottle from Klein. That’s how much he’s already making up his own mind.”

Klein aided Willow on her way to the recliner. "I believe the important part is that I'm trying, sir."

Neptune smiled at the butler. "You are. And we are so thankful for your help, Klein."

Willow sat back down. "He's less fussy when we get him on diaper duty. But clearly..." She grunted, sitting slowly onto the chair. "Clearly he's more in favor of his mom and dad right now."

"How are your back pains, mother?" Winter asked.

"Little stiff today.” Willow answered. “I'm only having one coffee cup for Nicky's sake, due to all the hustle and bustle of preparing for a visit before you arrived."

"Weiss is changing him right now." Neptune pointed out.

Winter exhaled. "Right. Meeting the nephew...How should I present myself?"

"Just be yourself." Neptune said plainly.

"You mean the military woman shtick minus the sternness." She asked.

“That sounds about right.” Weiss Schnee answered right behind her big sister.

Winter turned her head, seeing a joyful Weiss having just gotten off of work for the day with a bundle in her arms. Inside the blue blanket was Dominick Karl Schnee, cocooned and eyeing his mother fondly. Weiss bounced him in the blanket turning him around to face a new relative.

“Dominick, can you say ‘hi’ to your auntie?” His mom requested.

The future heir revealed his little face to Winter.

He weighed in at 8 pounds and 3 ounces in a handsome little bundle of his father’s bronzed skin, light blue eyes included. His mother’s alabaster hair was spiky but neatly groomed in time for being the up and coming prince of his family’s corporation. The baby stared through Winter, moving his tiny arm out and grabbing the edge of his snuggie.

The Specialist took the plunge by reaching out her hand with an adjustment from her cane to let him hold her bigger hand. “Um…Hello, Dominick. I’m your Aunt Winter.” She greeted after a heavy pause.

The baby reached out by placing both hands around Winter’s trigger finger.

She flinched from the sudden grapple. “Is this his way of reading people?”

“I think he’s trying to figure out who you are.” Neptune observed.

Weiss gave a big smile. “Would you like to hold him? You’ll be fine, just be sure to support his head.”

Winter reached out, gently taking her nephew and still appearing uncertain. Unfortunately the toddler disagreed. Who was this mysterious lady who looked almost nothing like mommy? 

Her grasp felt unwelcoming with baby Nick kicking up a fuss. Winter cringed looking up to her sister in a panic.

“Shh-shh-shh, it’s okay honey. Mommy’s here.” Weiss cooed. “Try rocking him a bit.”

She rocked him back and forth. Except this wasn’t the left-and-right direction. This was back and forth, on the couch where things had been static. The boy whimpered from the incorrect rocking, shielding his eyes and curling up.

Weiss frowned. “I'm sorry Winter, he's just not used to you yet" She took back her son, bouncing him again to soothe his cries.

Winter frowned next. “I would know having raised you.” She wanted to comment.

Dominick was suddenly calm being set back down on the couch by Weiss. He curiously eyed the living room around him when Weiss stood up stretching across from her kin. “I’m guessing you were hoping to ask how Neptune is adjusting, sister.”

“The thought crossed my mind back on the tarmac.” Winter replied with a nod.

Neptune could only sag his shoulders. "I'd like to say that I am but then I’d be fooling myself. Last night, Weiss was in a board meeting and I swore I could get Nicky to bed. I don't know what I did wrong but he screamed his head off for almost fifteen minutes until she came to bail me out."

“It was...Troubling.” Klein recalled while he handed his infant master a rattle and chewing ring.

Weiss nodded next. “Took me a little bit to calm him down, taking even longer to bring Neptune back into his usual bouncy self.” She squeezed her husband’s shoulder when he sank further at that recollection.

“I thought he didn’t like me. But can you blame me?” Neptune defended himself. “He always stops crying for you.” He groused.

“He just needs to take some time in getting to know you, dear.” Willow coaxed. “Klein could tell you a thing or two about that.”

The butler folded his arms with a sigh. “I take no joy in being the bearer of bad memories here. But mum is right, seeing as how...He was away at work,” Klein hissed, holding back his grumpy persona. “It took our snowdrops plenty of time to adjust to myself. Until one day they started speaking hand gestures asking where she was.”

“And how does that help Neptune?” Winter asked.

“I am saying is that there must be a moment for you and young Master Dominick to connect, just the two of you. Seems I got lost in translation there, sir.” Klein admitted to the blue-hair.

“Yeah, fair enough.” Nep conceded. “It's hard to settle a baby when there's so much commotion around the manor. And he's so attached to Weiss, that I thought we'd have that instant connection. He's my son but I guess it's just as hard on him as it is on me."

During his rant, Neptune saw Dominick following his dad’s words with a quizzical head tilt. “You like me, right little fella?” He wiggled his tan finger for him to see.

The baby took a moment to look upon his rattle. Then to the ring in his mouth. Take daddy’s hand, his 5-month-old instincts told him. Nick set the rattle down and grabbed Neptune’s finger with both hands, then babbled in an interested tone.

The intellectual laughed. “Yeah I’m your daddy. Can you say ‘daddy’?”

He cooed in D-sounds, but moving onto B-noises as he wasn’t opposed to learning new noises.

Weiss folded her arms proudly. “See? He’s learning.”

Neptune picked the baby up, flashing a goofy grin and holding him proudly. “My boy!”

Nicky squealed happily and joined him in a laugh whilst reaching for his rattle. Nep bent over, handing the rattle to him and holding him to his chest during one of his evening bounces.

Winter gave the slightest hint of a smile at the bonding moment in front of her while going back to her sister. “Among the other things I’m learning to catch up on, the delivery must have given you hell.” She said.

Weiss held onto her own stomach underneath the lovely sweater.

“It was...An experience. A scary one, to be sure. But Neptune ensured I stayed in bed while I was recovering. Minus a few stitches, I’m as defiant as ever. Hopefully.” She blinked slowly while watching her son and hubby in the background.

“How bad was it?” Winter asked while snapping a picture of her nephew’s playtime.

“Klein said I was working too hard” She woefully began. “That’s what brought on the labor. However, Yang was kicking in the door and kept me calm just in time. When the contractions started, I was already aboard Yang’s Manta craft while Ruby and Neptune held onto me during our flight to the hospital.”

Winter patted her sister upon the back.

“Neptune was so panicked, and it took so long that I was wheeled in for an emergency C-section.”

“Did they go through with it?” Winter’s expression turned to that of fear. Hadn’t her sister been stabbed and nearly cut open enough times during the Salem war?

“No. But the labor was quite long.” Weiss finally answered. “While Neptune was panicking outside it was the sisters who were keeping me steady. Before they could break out the knife, Dominick was- -Ahem…” She rubbed her eyes with an itchy throat. “Apologies...Dominick was born safe and sound. So we agreed we were having only one.” Weiss sniffled.

Don’t get her wrong, it was a happy memory. But the pain was more than enough to warrant a single offspring and heir being held in her husband’s arms. Winter dried her bottom eyelid on sisterly muscle memory.

“I’m glad that he’s here.” Winter added. “Thankfully, you’re not feeling the way Blake is right now in her pregnancy.” She mentioned.

“Oh, what have you heard from her?” Weiss lightened up at hearing about her cat teammate.

Winter folded her arms. “Only that she’s feeling stir-crazy. Moving around is quite difficult for her right now. relying on Nora and Ren for their recipes in case of any strange appetites...Though Ruby has contributed some odd ideas."

“That makes Sun at her beck and call.” Weiss guessed.

“Yes, quite.” Winter answered. “You probably don’t want to know what cravings Ruby conjured up for her.”

“Somehow I’m not sure that’d help with Nicky’s colic deal.” Weiss mused, grinning at hearing a joyful squeal behind her with her husband’s starry-eyed reaction. “Oh, mother. You haven’t held him yet.” She offered.

“I bet he’s been looking forward to spending some quality time with his oma.” Willow beamed. She held out her aging arms to her son-in-law. Neptune handed baby Dominick over with the rattle included.

Willow took the rattle and handed it to her grandson, rocking him back and forth with the proudest smile she could bear at 57 years with how he’s already turning out.

“Are you happy to see your Auntie Winter yet, my Little Yeti?” She teased.

Nick cooed after a prompt nose boop from the matriarch.

“Little Yeti?” Winter questioned.

“It’s cute, but I prefer to call him Snowdrop or Nicky.” Weiss admitted, shrugging.

“Yeah, you’re gonna grow up into a big monster and give mommy and daddy the runaround huh?” Neptune baby talked to the...Well, baby.

“Please don’t jinx it, Neptune.” Weiss insisted.

The infant could only blink at his remark.

“He was awfully big for his age when he came into the world.” Willow answered, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “But it just proves his strength and how he didn’t mean to give his Muti such a hard time. No you didn’t!” She teased the little one next, giving him a raspberry earning another laugh.

Weiss gave a dreamy sigh. “Oh, don’t you worry just yet my little snow monster. We’ve got a lot more to figure out.” She earned a babble of agreement out of her son.

Winter got up. “And hopefully he...Mmgh.” Another grunt, she steadied herself with grasping the cane. “He won’t run too much when I’m on babysitting detail. I’ll be in my office.”

Her sister got up, taking her arm. “Here. Let me help.”

“I’m okay, Weiss. Really.” The specialist insisted with her cane wobbling at her sister’s touch.

“No you’re not.” She backtalked. But not before supporting her. “Is your leg acting up again?”

“...Yes. My painkiller prescription has been delayed ever since President Baum had cut back on Specialist healthcare in light of the frontline grunts. Not that I blame them.” Well, that hurt to mention the G.I.'s of Atlas in light of her own health problems sustained in the line of duty.

“Then you should be in bed.” Weiss demanded. Not as CEO, but as her sibling.

Winter nodded. “Good idea. Klein, could you please get my laptop?”

“Certainly, Winter.” The butler answered. “You do look like you need a leg pillow as well.”

“It wouldn’t hurt.” Winter answered with a small smile. “Mother, Neptune, will you be alright with Dominick?”

“Of course, dear.” The older mom told her.

“Yeah, we got him.” Neptune answered with another warm nod.

-------

A/N: Unfortunately, due to Tumblr having a frigging character limit, this must be posted in two parts. Until then, hope you enjoy the first part of this segment.

[eponinemylove]

Neil + getting hurt

this is badly written bc it’s just me brainstorming but

alright so this boy has a pretty high tolerance for pain, but he knows when he’s hurt. he knows how to feel for cracks in his ribs or when he’s broken something

he’s pretty used to getting hurt and the foxes all cry at night bc of it

he’s not an idiot when it comes to injuries but he is when it comes to knowing when to stop because of his injuries.

his first reaction to just about any injury is to patch it up and deal with it himself (if he can pry himself away from the courts long enough)

sometimes he’ll bother Andrew if he needs help

but

if Andrew can’t/won’t help, the next person he goes to is Aaron

(he doesn’t go to Kevin because even though Kevin gets it, he would actually hurt Neil if Neil didn’t treat an injury properly right away. Kevin doesn’t play that shit. Go see Abby)

the other foxes might know what to do, but even if they did, they would make him see Abby too so he doesn’t waste his time

anyway so Andrew is out with Renee and Allison one day and Neil goes out for a run. It’s fine until some student wasn’t looking where they were going and crash into Neil as he turns a corner

They’re both fine, but Neil lands hard on his shoulder and the concrete scraped the shit outa him. He finishes his run and gets back to the tower not really thinking anything of it till he goes to shower and realizes his shoulder looks really bad

Aaron is next door studying for a biology test when just. Neil just walks in with literally zero warning and sits down across from him

Neither of them say anything for a minute. Aaron finishes the page he’s taking notes on them looks at Neil like what do you want

Neil’s like “I hurt my shoulder and I can’t reach it to bandage it up.”

Aaron’s goes ???? He’s so done. “whatever let me see it”

and Neil takes off his shirt

a COUPLE OF THINGS TO NOTE HERE

aaron has seen Neil after the nest and after his father. He’s seen Neil beat to shit and looking like hell. He hasn’t seen Neil’s scars though.

and it’s not that Neil’s comfortable showing his scars off because he’s definitely not. He can just barely show them to Abby. But he’s tired and Aaron already looks annoyed that he’s wasting time and whatever, Andrew will be back soon and they have practice tonight and Neil can’t reach so Aaron is gonna have to suck it up and bandage him

His shoulder is a little more than “hurt”

Aaron goes straight into doctor mode. He has to disenfect it and it’s way too much for just a band aid so he gets some gauze and patches that up

They don’t say anything the entire time. Aaron works in silence and Neil is just staring. Aaron can’t tell if he’s focused or not

Neil leaves with a half-assed thanks and Aaron is just. He’s annoyed ok. His brother’s tool of a boyfriend just comes in and interrupts his studying to demand that he kiss his scrape better and then just leaves. Fuck that guy

like exactly 5 minutes later when Aaron gets back to studying he has that “oh shit” moment of realiziation where it hits him that Neil came to him for help and showed him his scars. He appreciates what that means, even if he is still petulantly grumpy at being bothered

this happens just a couple of times but Aaron doesn’t take it for granted. theyre both aware that Neil’s letting himself be vulnerable in that moment, which is really hard for him

Neil also goes to see Abby sometimes. He doesn’t like to because he has to leave the tower but if he’s already out and hurting then he’ll drop by

Abby worries about him all the time and constantly reassures him that it’s ok!! she wants him to see her if he’s injured!! nothing is too small

Abby also starts to load up on Neil’s favorite snacks. He refuses to go easy on her and just give her a grocery list so she has to pull some Sherlock Holmes type shit and piece together what the kid likes on her own. (he drinks water and/or orange juice, he won’t eat anything too sweet, chips are a maybe, fruit is always good)

So, to recap, if he’s not pretending that his injury isn’t serious (which is still the majority of the time), he’s paying a discreet visit to Andrew, Aaron, or Abby

he prefers to handle his shit himself, but this is progress!

there is one (1) time though where Neil gets hurt and demands to go to the hospital

It’s nothing too bad. Nothing life-threatening. The team is actually really happy that they didn’t even have to force Neil to call time and see a doctor, but they don’t quite understand why he’s freaking out so bad

It happens when they’re playing a game. No one sees what happens but Neil goes down and he takes a little too long to get back up. Wymack and Kevin both look ready to drag him off court but he surprises everyone by signaling to the ref and limping off himself

he goes straight to Abby on the bench. Something happened to his leg, he pulled a muscle or something, idk, but it scared the shit out of him

they’re in the last quarter so Neil holds out until they foxes win but then he’s like “Abby. I need to see a doctor, now”

everyone is confused af but they go with it

They get him to a doctor who checks it out. Something’s definitely strained but it’s not too serious and he can play in a few weeks at most

the foxes get ready for Neil to just absolutely ignore that but??? Neil is like ok and actually sits out practice and shit

he doesn’t get back onto the court until Abby clears him

The next day the foxes can’t help it. they have to know

Andrew and Kevin tell them to leave it alone, but. My boys aren’t immune. They wanna know too. They just have a feeling the answer is gonna be bad

it is

After practice everyone just kinda invites themselves over to Wymack’s and Abby cooks. They’re chatting for a while, just fucking around, when someone brings it up

It’s Nicky

“So, not that we’re not all thrilled you’re taking care of yourself, but what happened when you hurt your leg?”

And Neil debates not telling them but he catches Andrew out of the corner of his eye pretending not to be interested and really there’s no reason to hide anything from the team, so

“idk. It’s just, when my father-“

collective wince

“-kidnapped me in Baltimore and he had me in the basement, he was debating how to torture me-“

so yeah this is not great. The foxes are in Instant Regret. Andrew’s fork is bending. Dan looks like her vein might explode. Matt has tears and his eyes and may or may not be actually crying

“-one of the things he said was that he’d cut my hamstrings so I couldn’t run this time. He didn’t, obviously, but...” Neil kinda takes a break there and wow this is hard to admit but it’s them so it’s ok “it just really scared me. I wouldn’t be able to escape. I could never play exy. Everything would’ve been for nothing if I couldn’t run. My career would be over, the Moriyamas—“

ok he stops there

they get the point

Kevin changes the subject bc believe it or not he isn’t useless and has gotten really good at Not Talking about things and redirecting conversation

it takes a while but the night goes on and they’re all fine, it’s in the past, they know that neil is here and he’s okay and his father is dead

any questions of “are you okay” are met with a withering look and yeah that’s fair but neil knows it’s with good intentions

andrew drags neil out of the room when nobody is looking

he kisses him hard and whispers about his father and the moriyamas never being able to get to him again

neil reminds him that andrew doesn’t have to protect him anymore

andrew knows that it isn’t their deal but he wants to okay? he wants to protect neil and keep him safe

170%

everyone goes home eventually

later andrew and neil will be in bed and andrew will kiss his thighs and replace any memories of cold stone floor and axes with soft lips and soft hairs tickling the insides of his legs

[nekojitachan]

Okay, so I think I’m going with ‘the real thing’ for a title. Subject to change of course. But as I sorta promised, more andreil soulmate not fic. Same warnings as before (mention of past abuse, referenced but not described/detailed sexual abuse, Andrew on meds so...).

Part four (previous part w/ links to the OTHER parts can be found here)

*******

Andrew was about to murder his new bestie; it had been three days since Moreau had all but promised to spill secrets, and if Andrew had to wait much longer? The backliner would be spilling blood instead.

Yes, among his various character foibles (he refused to see them as flaws, not matter what the shrinks rudely insisted) was his very low tolerance for patience when he felt that he was owed something. And he most definitely felt he was owed the truth about what was going on with Nathaniel.

Perhaps Moreau sensed his imminent bloodletting because he muttered ‘tomorrow’ to Andrew as they passed each other in the hall on Tuesday, which granted him a temporary stay of execution. Andrew grunted softly in acknowledgement, then knocked his shoulder into Bautista, who’d been staring a bit too long at Nathaniel.

The backliner glared at Andrew once he regained his footing, but all it took was Andrew ‘smiling’ at him and the older Raven averted his eyes and scurried away.

People were slowly getting the message that Nathaniel was off-limits.

Wednesday came and at first started off as a normal day; early as hell practice, Aaron being smug about getting a good grade on their biology test (Andrew kept his better grade to himself), barely staying awake in his classes, then back to the Nest for more stupid Exy practice. Except Riko and Kevin were gone, off to Detroit to play the next two nights for their professional team (who could keep them), which meant that Andrew just had to wait for Nathaniel to be pulled away, too. He gave Moreau a pointed look when they (and Nathaniel) went out onto court to play in a scrimmage, but the French bastard merely returned it with a blank expression.

Andrew may have aimed a ball or two at the bastard during the scrimmage.

He’d just settled on his bed with a new book to read (sent by Nicky) when his phone vibrated with a message from Moreau for him to come right then to the break room in the Black Hall. Part of Andrew wanted to ignore the summons, but his desire to find out the truth won out over his ornery nature so he got up and left his room without saying a word to his partner (not that Ben acted surprised at all to see him leave). There were a few Ravens out in the hallways, but none brave enough to question him, especially when he headed in the direction of the Black Hall.

Very few went there unless invited to by one of the ‘perfect court’; people would assume it was just him getting away from Ben and raiding the ‘good’ break room again while Riko was gone.

Like he wouldn’t raid the break room while Riko was standing in the middle of it.

Moreau was waiting for him with a mug of coffee in hand. “Nat should be busy for a couple hours at least,” he said by way of greeting.

Andrew went to fix coffee for himself. “Translating stuff.” That’s what Moreau had told him the other day. “He do that a lot?”

“Somewhat. He’ll be called up to the East Tower during games to translate for some of the guests up there, or to work on documents for Tetsuji or Kengo.”

“Kengo, Tetsuji’s brother and Riko’s father.” Andrew knew a few things.

“Yes, Tetsuji’s brother.” Moreau gave him a considering look then focused his attention on the door of the break room as if to ensure that no one was out in the hall. “Are you sure you want to-“

“Tetsuji’s brother,” Andrew said to urge Frenchie on. “Tell me about the man, everything.”

Moreau gave him an intent look as if judging how serious he was about things (about Nathaniel) before he sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he resumed speaking. “The truth of the matter is, the Moriyamas came into their wealth by being crime lords – yakuza. Kengo is the current head of the organization and his oldest son, Ichirou, will take over when he dies.”

Well, that somewhat explained how Tetsuji could be such an abusive bastard and Riko treat people like belongings; they clearly believed themselves to be above the law. “So Tetsuji and Riko do whatever they like because they’re mobsters?”

Moreau wrinkled his nose, which had been broken at one point and not properly set, as he sipped his drink. “Not… exactly. Kengo and Ichirou are part of the main branch, the line that inherits the wealth and responsibility of the Moriyamas. Kengo, as the Moriyama lord, was to only have one son, one heir, but his wife bore two.” His expression grew guarded as he glanced at Andrew for a moment. “She died for that mistake, and Riko was disinherited, was given to Tetsuji to be raised as part of the side branch.”

“Funny, but I always believed it takes two to tango.” When Moreau merely shrugged at the comment, Andrew clicked his tongue. “So Riko has no real power?”

“Not… exactly,” Moreau repeated, and glared when Andrew threw a crumpled napkin at him. “Asshole.”

“Tell me something new,” Andrew said with a wide grin. “Oh, wait, that’s what you’re supposed to be doing right now.”

Moreau muttered in French something while he tugged on his long bangs then sighed. “Riko is still a Moriyama, which means he has money and connections, but has nowhere near the power he’d have if he was part of the main branch.”

It sounded as if someone, a certain spoiled, psychotic brat, might have to answer to his ‘betters’. “And where does Nathaniel fit into all of this?”

It was quiet for about a minute as Moreau stared into his mug then huffed. “The same as I do, more or less. We were sold to the Moriyamas by our fathers.” He looked up at Andrew, who stood there… mentally prodding at that bit of information. “No comment?”

“How the hell do you ‘sell’ someone?” He knew the logistics, but somehow it didn’t seem to fit when one applied it to Exy players.

“Well, in my case, my parents owed a debt to the Moriyamas and decided that it was best paid off by offering me to Tetsuji since I knew how to play Exy.” Oh no, Frenchie didn’t sound bitter about that at all. “In Nat’s case… his father is in charge of a large amount of territory on the northeastern coast and reports to Kengo. For some reason, Nat can’t take over from the man, so he was given to Tetsuji.”

“Nathan Wesninski,” Andrew said as he remembered the redhead with the soulless eyes, the businessman with all the ‘interesting’ rumors.

Moreau nodded in a grave manner. “Yes, Nathan Wesninski, the Butcher of Baltimore. He comes here now and then to deal with people who’ve run afoul of Kengo, and often he reminds Nat to ‘behave’.” He shuddered as he rubbed his right hand along his upper left back. “If you think Riko or Tetsuji is abusive, they have nothing on Nathan. He’s responsible for most of Nat’s scars.”

Most, but not all.

Andrew thought about what he’d been told, about someone thinking they owned his soulmate, that they could abuse him with impunity, and ‘smiled’. “No one owns Nathaniel.”

“Including you?” Moreau dared to ask as he set the mug aside, his expression blank as his obnoxiously tall body coiled with tension, coiled as if ready to launch itself at Andrew.

Andrew clicked his tongue at that bit of nonsense. “Did I stutter?” he asked, each word enunciated slowly. “No. One. Owns. Nathaniel. Do I need to learn sign language or that mumbled slurring you call French so you’ll understand better?”

“I don’t want to hear that from someone who grunts out German,” Moreau snapped, as if he couldn’t think of anything more offensive, but he’d relaxed against the counter.

Whatever. If Andrew was a lesser person, he’d be rolling his eyes right then instead of shoving the good granola bars, packets of honey (it was some type of sugar), and energy drinks into the pockets of his hoodie and track pants. “Anything else I need to know? Moriyamas are mobsters and bad, Nathaniel’s father is a serial killer and really bad, and Riko is under the mistaken belief he owns the two of you.”

There was a brief muttering of French again before Moreau shook his head. “That’s it. But be aware that since Riko feels he owns Nat, he probably believes that extends to you.” He rubbed the soul mark hidden beneath the sleeve of his black hoodie, his expression neutral but grey eyes bleak.

Oh, just let Riko try to put a leash on him and lead him around, Andrew would wrap it around the prick’s neck and strangle him with it. He was about to leave the room when something occurred to him. “Does Riko only give Nathaniel out for ‘rewards’?”

He knew the answer as soon as Moreau’s expression shut down, as the backliner wrapped his arms around himself as if to shield himself from someone. “Why do you care?”

Andrew could say because Moreau was Nathaniel’s partner and as much as it galled him, Nathaniel cared about the French bastard. He could say that he knew what it felt like to have unwanted hands and mouths and worse on him, to be used without a care (except he wouldn’t, not to someone he barely trusted). He could say because he needed to know exactly how bad it was with Riko’s power games.

Yet all he did was give the backliner a two-fingered salute before he walked away, well aware that he wouldn’t answer if asked a similar question.

Ben gave him an expectant look when he returned to their room, so Andrew threw him an energy drink and granola bar which his partner caught with a wide grin.

Nathaniel appeared tired during practice on Thursday, but didn’t move as if he’d been injured in any manner. He smiled at Moreau as usual and talked to a few of the Ravens (the ones who didn’t look at him as if he was a piece of meat), and gave Andrew a puzzled look now and then as if he was trying to figure him out.

Good luck with that.

Friday, Aaron bumped into Andrew as they left Biology class and muttered ‘don’t lose, I’ve bet a bundle on you’ on his way out the door, which made Andrew want to lose the game on purpose until he remembered Nathaniel. Nathaniel, who sat in the seat in front of him on the bus as they traveled to WVU for their latest game. Nathaniel, who peaked over the seat to frown at him. “That… doesn’t look like an English assignment book to me.” He motioned to the current wolf shifter ‘romance’ novel Andrew was reading as a diversion.

“It’s not.”

“Okay.” Nathaniel went a whole fifteen seconds (nibbling on his full bottom lip the entire time, which did nothing to Andrew to watch, nothing). “What does ‘omega’ mean?”

Oh no, Andrew wasn’t having an A/B/O discussion with his soul mate on a crowded bus. No. “Going to cheer us on as we defeat the Mountaineers?”

Nathaniel frowned as he ran his long, slender fingers (which Andrew didn’t think about at all, about them on his- he didn’t think of them AT ALL) along the top of the seat. “I wish the Master would have let me play this year, I’m more than ready. And you shouldn’t have a problem tonight, they’re weak on their offense, they act tough but they crumble if you don’t back down in four seconds.”

Andrew listened as his soulmate went over a concise review of the Mountaineers that was better than what he’d suffered through in the past week, mindful to pay attention to the few players Nathaniel singled out. When his soulmate finished up his summary of the other team, Andrew gave him a solemn nod and a quiet ‘thank you’, which made Nathaniel blink at him and a slight blush spread across his sharp cheekbones before he muttered something and ducked back down in his seat.

That allowed Andrew to finish his wolf shifter book (light on the plot, which was why he liked the books – he could finish them in a few hours without much brain cells involved and have a bit of twisted amusement over its ridiculousness).

At least it wasn’t a long drive to WVU, a campus known for its partying which somehow, Andrew doubted the Ravens would be allowed to join in; Tetsuji made sure to segregate the team from the rest of the university as soon as they arrived and set them up to practice on the court once they were in uniform.

Someone had no sense of adventure.

At least he got to watch Nathaniel stretch with the rest of the team (he was still trying to figure out if it was a good or bad thing that his soulmate was so damn flexible) and do drills before he retreated to the sidelines. That was around when Riko and Kevin came back from dealing with the press, and Riko made sure to hold up two fingers to Andrew as he walked past.

Such a shame Andrew didn’t have anything sharp in hand at the moment to shove into the bastard’s throat.

What he did have was a growing clarity as the drug-fueled mania slowly faded away (yet how odd, the urge to kill Riko still remained); he watched the first half of the game against the Mountaineers all too aware of Nathaniel sitting next to him on the bench, lean body twitching each time the Ravens scored a goal or lost possession of the ball. Nathaniel smiled, slight but pleased, whenever Moreau successfully blocked a Mountaineer, and glared when his partner took a rough hit.

He nearly jumped in his seat when Andrew cleared his throat. “Yeah, weak in offense.”

Nathaniel turned toward him, a slight frown on his face, and for a moment Andrew thought he wouldn’t speak. “Most of them. Peters’ being rougher than usual tonight.”

He was the one trying to take down Moreau. “Cheng’s trying to fake out Ivanova into thinking he’s shooting for the top of the goal then going lower.” The striker had done that twice so far, and gotten past the goalie once.

That slight smile appeared once more on Nathaniel’s lovely face (not that Andrew had any real opinion on how the redhead looked or anything). “You noticed that?”

Andrew clicked his tongue and forced his attention back onto the game. “I just spend my time in a painted box waiting for people to throw balls in my direction. Not like I do any real work out there.”

“Of course,” Nathaniel murmured, but he sounded amused for some reason.

The first quarter ended, which meant that Moreau was swapped out for Federov, which also meant that Nathaniel took to speaking quietly with his partner in Japanese until halftime.

Perhaps it was the lack of drugs in his system, perhaps it was knowing that Moreau was concerned about his own soulmate (the fear of Riko finding out who he was), but as he glanced at the two backliners out of the corner of his eye… there was evident affection between them and long familiarity, but nothing to suggest they were in a relationship themselves. There weren’t any lingering touches or glances, nothing intimate or possessive between them.

Yet Andrew still felt a ridiculous urge (which he ignored) to shove Moreau off the bench.

It was almost welcome to be out on the court for the second half of the game, to be away from Nathaniel and the traitorous emotions the bond between them awoke in Andrew. In the goal, his world focused down to the idiots trying to get past him to score a point, which he refused to allow.

(He knew he couldn’t keep shutting down the goal for the rest of the season, but WVU wasn’t much of a challenge.)

Moreau gave him a nod in acknowledgement when the teams lined up at the end of the game, while there was a look of relief on Nathaniel’s face before he schooled it into a blank expression when the Ravens gathered in the locker room for Tetsuji to give them a gruff ‘you did a decent job today’.

Riko caught Andrew on the way to the bus, a thoughtful gleam in his eyes as he blocked Andrew from exiting the stadium. “Impressive job out there tonight. Perhaps there’s something to letting you play… natural.”

“Only so much at a time,” Andrew said as he smiled, his expression exaggerated once again since he’d taken a pill after the game; it wasn’t that long of a drive back to Edgar Allan, but long enough that he’d be experiencing withdrawals by the time they reached campus so he’d went ahead and taken it.

He’d have to wait until next week to have time with Nathaniel as ‘himself’.

Yet the urge to protect Nathaniel as they went to his soul mate’s room, to make Federov and Bautista and the other Ravens who stared at the redhead in a hungry manner glance away in fear was still there, as well as some tremulous emotion when Nathaniel didn’t insult him or run away but walked beside him.

There were a fresh set of sheets on Moreau’s bed when he entered the room.

“Try not to snore so much this time,” Nathaniel said, a half-hearted sneer on his face as he dropped onto his bed.

Andrew gasped as he clutched his hands to his chest. “I have never been so slandered in my life. Never.”

Nathaniel scoffed as he rubbed at his eyes as if he was tired. “Right, that’s the worst you’ve ever heard. Such a sheltered life you’ve led.” Then he dropped his hands and had the grace to look guilty. “Uhm, I mean… that didn’t come out right.”

The press had delighted in going on about his stint in juvie, him being in the foster system and of course him being arrested for beating up the assholes who’d hurt Nicky, not that he’d cared at all. “I know not what you mean, I’m just an innocent babe alone in this wicked, cruel world.” He tried to bat his eyes but wasn’t sure it worked well with the manic grin.

Nathaniel gazed at him for several seconds before he sighed and stood up. “I didn’t see you take a hit to the head earlier so I think it’s okay for you to go sleep,” he mumbled as he went into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Andrew gasped again. “You care for me! You truly do care!” His lips twitched when his ‘dear’ soulmate gave him the finger before the bathroom door slammed shut.

At the very least, someone didn’t quite hate him as much anymore. Who knew, maybe by the time he graduated, Nathaniel might even trust him.

He blamed the drugs for the feeling of warmth in his chest at that thought.

*******

IDK, still working through some things, but lately it’s been... if I post is that a sad cry for attention? Am I being annoying? Maybe I shouldn’t post stuff... but I said I’d post this.

*sighs*

Anyway, back to writing the other fic. Hope everyone is staying safe.

[nicolehampton]

{ OLIVIA O’BRIEN . CIS FEMALE .  24 . SHE/HER }  did you see that { NICOLE HAMPTON } just pulled up in hidden hills with { BRODY ROBERTS } sitting next to them in the passengers seat - isn’t that cute ! you know, for a { LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST & MODEL }, i’ve heard they’re really { SELF-INDULGENT }, but that they make up for it by being so { APPEALING }. i see them all the time on snapchat && yesterday in US WEEKLY i read that they { HAVE  } a son named asher - can you believe that ?!

{ OLIVIA O’BRIEN . CIS FEMALE .  24 . SHE/HER }  did you see that { NICOLE HAMPTON } just pulled up in hidden hills with { DEREK KING } sitting next to them in the passengers seat - isn’t that cute ! you know, for a { LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST & MODEL }, i’ve heard they’re really { SELF-INDULGENT }, but that they make up for it by being so { APPEALING }. i see them all the time on snapchat && yesterday in US WEEKLY i read that they { HAVE  } a son named zeus - can you believe that ?! **zeus is her oldest child

TW: MENTIONS OF ABUSE, DRUGS, LIQUOR

i’ll edit and add zeus and derek into her bio when i can figure out how to piece them in correctly && after i’ve plotted with my pairs xoxo

basic info.

name. nicole janelle hampton. birth date. september 14, 1996. pronouns. she/her. species. rebel child. hometown. beverly hills, ca. sexuality. bisexual. occupation. host of THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NICOLE HAMPTON & model

physical.

height. 5'1. eye color. green. hair color. brunette/blonde. build. petite/curvey. tattoos. 9. piercings. 8. scars. one on her left upper thigh. style. boho chic. faceclaim. olivia o’brien.

in-depth.

zodiac. virgo. mbti. intp. mental. depression. eyesight. excellent. drug use. some, weed, cocaine, molly. alcohol use. socially. languages. english, french.

basics.

◦ nicknames: nicki, niks, nik, baby, that bitch.

◦ age: 24

◦ hair: blonde

◦ eyes: greenish blue

◦ sexuality: bisexual

◦ family: zeus king (son) age 6, asher brody roberts (son) age 5, noel hampton (older sister) age 25, ivette hampton (mother estranged) age 39, david hampton (father estranged) age 41.

bio.◦ 

Nicole, being the baby of the family, was an angel from the time she was born until around 16. In her infancy she was, as her family praised, one of the most peaceful children they’d ever encountered. Her mother adored her, despite the fact that Nicole was a through-and-through daddy’s girl. Her parents were the head chair members for the CBS broadcasting network. As a result, she grew up loving all things pretty and glittery - and even becoming spoiled in her youth. She was an avid wearer of makeup and spent much of her time playing dress-up with her sister. 

Her parents wanted their children involved in extracurriculars from a young age, forcing Nicole into singing lessons and dance classes which filled much of her free time. To further monopolize on much of Nicole’s childhood, she was ushered into numerous beauty pageants alongside her sister, feeling entirely inadequate whenever the crown wasn’t bestowed upon her (however rare those times were). Through her own interest, she discovered a passion for writing music and its accompanying lyrics. A habit she carried with her throughout her entire life. Nicole had always whirred with creative energy, and constantly cracked jokes.

Nicole’s ambitions and personality unexpectedly shifted when she entered High School. This was where she truly found a way in which to grow into herself. Seemingly overnight (to those around her) she transitioned from a dainty wallflower into a turbulent, exciting, free-spirited (and self proclaimed) wild child. Much to the dismay of her loving family (her mother complaining that she was the source of a near constant “nikki-ache”, or migraine in layman's terms). On her 15th birthday, as if a gift from the universe, she was offered a modeling contract from a renowned modeling agency, Zarzar. It was through her pursuit of modeling that she got a taste, and addiction to the limelight. A year later, on her 16th birthday, she won the title of Miss Teen California. Between modeling and her consistent extracurriculars she continued to foster a stronger tendency to be rebellious and “wild”. She found herself on a never-ending merry-go-round of parties, drinking and sneaking out. With this newly forged nightlife she began dabbling in something more sinister, deciding that the drink simply wasn’t enough, she began finding drugs, another viable rebellion.  ( i mean what good is having family money if you don’t spend daddy’s hard-earned cash on drugs, right? ) Despite being the center of attention, which is what she thought was all she’d possibly need, sweet Nicole also noticed she never truly seemed happy.

Often she struggled with depression as a result of pressure placed on her to be the perfect picture daughter her parents desperately wanted her to be. Even though she was always her father’s little princess, she struggled to find independence, her own footing, and her place in the world.

At the age of 18, Nicole moved out on her own savings due to an on-going struggle with drugs ( mostly cocaine, but she wasn’t really picky...she liked to joke that she abused any and everything equally ) and seemingly never-ending fights at home which caused a considerable rift between her and the rest of the picture-perfect Hampton family. 

That same year, Nicole found a new way to establish herself and maintain her lifestyle. she began stripping at Synn Gentleman’s Club, a high-end strip club in West Hollywood. She’d met many of her current connections while stripping, subsequently cutting off all connection with her family soon after, except for her sister. 

Right before her 19th birthday during a shift at Synn, she was assigned to work the VIP section wherein she met a man by the name Brody Roberts, a reputable ( and darkly alluring ) producer and director, who quickly took a liking to Nicole. It didn’t take long for them to hit it off. he’d frequent the club she worked, getting only a dance. Once the two were done, he’d leave her an egregious tip and venture from the club until the following night. 

The two engaged in this dangerous courtship for long enough that brody became tiresome of this charade and presented Nicole with a devious ultimatum: in order for her livelihood to continue ( ie. getting bestowed large sums of money nightly ) she’d have to renounce her days on the pole for days on his arm (or face immediate termination and blacklisting from any and all reputable clubs within a feasible radius). An offer she couldn’t refuse. She knew he would be able to support her and offer the life she’d once been accustomed to before falling out with her family. 

Soon thereafter, Nicole had found herself living with brody and became his kept woman. her days were filled with a monotony of repetition that Nicole quickly realized she wanted to escape. she’d managed to save enough money to find herself a small place and the day before she signed the lease, she fainted from exhaustion during her morning run and was taken to the hospital. upon receiving bloodwork the cause of her fainting was actually an unknown pregnancy. 

Nine months later, they welcomed a son, Asher Brody Roberts. 

Asher was a difficult baby ( often sick, colicky ) causing additional strain on a relationship which had already nearly met its end. That's when Nicole made her change. It started small, distancing her own finances from that of her son’s father, she then began to dabble in music and amassed a sizable social media following which allowed her to jump-start her career separate from her estranged boyfriend.

Two years later, with meticulous planning and the help of her best friend Olivia and Olivia’s boyfriend Jaxson King Nicole was able to move all of her and asher’s belongings out of the home during a week long shoot that brody was on. 

Nicole did not get a clean nor healthy break from a relationship that had already drained her for the better part of four years. She knew that she had lost part of her formative years (being 18 when she’d met the man with whom she would share a part of her life forever, and stuck until she was 22) to Brody, a manipulative and narcissistic man who she hated to adore. Her heart ached every single time she’d hear his specific text tone, or see his name take over her phone screen. She’d wanted desperately to contact the police, to see what kind of assistance she could get from what she only knew as harassment (ultimately to be talked off the ledge by Olivia). 

Nearly a week after Nicole had made her grand (and melodramatic) departure in the night, she found herself in a meeting over coffee with the man whose bed she’d shared for years. She was anxious and cranky and was met with cold smugness from her counterpart. Brody, a smart and wealthy man, was not going to relinquish his prize without a painful fight. As he sipped his coffee, and with all of the curtness he would bestow upon a perfect stranger, Brody announced to her that if she did not willfully come back - he would charge her with the kidnapping of his son. A toddler.

Nicole spiraled in that very second. She knew he meant it, and she knew that with his power and connections (all fueled by money) he could paint her into the narrative that best suited him, and that would force her to lose custody. With reluctance and all of the self-preservation she could muster, Nicole collected her and Asher’s belongings and returned to the home she thought she’d managed to escape. 

It didn’t take long for Brody to feel comfortable again, thinking he’d created a chess game that he couldn’t lose. He began taking on more projects, longer commitments of his time, while Nicole was left to plot alone with their son. It was during one of these extended periods of Brody-ness bliss that Nicole's wandering eye and coyote-caught-in-a-trap mentality bested her. She’d met another man. 

Theo, the focus of her attention, was the antithesis of Brody: sensitive, kind, wholesome, charismatic and most of all not a blatant narcissist. He was genuinely, unapologetically and irrevocably good. Everything she hadn’t sought out, nor thought she wanted. Yet, everything she needed. Nicole found herself diving headfirst into a hidden relationship. She brought him around her son, whom he was fantastic with, and she knew in that second: she was going to run to him. 

Nicole convinced Theo to contact a lawyer on her behalf so as to not leave a trace that Brody could stumble upon. She found the legal course of action that she could take in order to move herself and Asher out of the home Brody owned, and made her second escape. Straight into the arms and home of her secret lover. 

Brody discovered, to his grand dismay, that he had no legal recourse for Nicole and that he would inevitably have to allow this sleeping dog to lie. The two worked out a custody arrangement that neither were truly happy with, and she found a new false sense of security in their world. 

Having rid herself of the relationship that was hindering her and Theo’s happiness, the two allowed themselves to date. To even make the leap into falling in love. They dated for a little over a year and in that time Nicole’s life had taken a turn. She found the independence she’d longed for, her career took an upturn. For the first time in her life, Nicole was unstoppable. 

After dating for a year, Nicole and Theo decided to get married. The couple took their time planning the wedding, Theo understanding Nicole’s struggles, and hesitancy in regards to marriage. He’d been kind, patient, and loving which prompted Nicole to take the leap during a trip to Aspen. They planned a speedy wedding and everything appeared copacetic until mid-ceremony when the officiant asked if there were any objections and no other than an uninvited guest spoke out. 

At that moment Nicole was faced with a difficult decision: she could marry the man she had grown to love or forfeit him for the man she knew was bad for her… in every sense, two could be hazardous to one-another.

In a moment of panic, Nicole chose self-preservation. Sparing herself the internal turmoil of being stuck with a choice she didn’t feel right, she fled from the altar and in a flash of white disappeared from the church. In her wake, she left behind two shell-shocked men, and a conglomeration of confused attendees. 

During the days that followed Nicole sought refugee on the couches and spare beds of friends who welcomed her and her son while her former fiance packed her things and the memories of the life they were once committed to sharing. 

While still reeling from everything that had transpired during the aforementioned weeks, she had managed to gain a sense of resolve and clarity for the first time in her adult life. She was without a romantic partner for the first time in her adult years, and instead, her life was now solely committed to herself and her son. She got a place for the two of them, somewhere she was proud to call home and make their own. She found stronger footing in her musical career, something she’d been unable to fully dedicate herself to before. And she managed to gather the reigns on her own life, without the assistance of anyone else. 

Nicole had built herself into a woman she didn’t think she’d ever become. Someone who her son deserved. A bright, powerful individual with a life uniquely her own. Who had finally gotten the self-respect to realize she didn’t require a man to get by. That her own tenacity could carry her to places she’d only dreamed.

Granted, in this whirlwind of growth and development, she didn’t avoid a struggle here and there. Namely in the form of waking up in the bed of a man that she didn’t belong with. A man whose son she raised alone. 

[aliciameade]

Baby - Ch. 15

Title: Baby Author: aliciameade Rating: *** M *** Pairing: Stephanie Smothers/Emily Nelson Summary:  That tearful kiss shared between Stephanie and Emily wasn't their first—and it certainly wasn't their last.

(Chapter 1)

Also on AO3

(You can buy me a ko-fi if you want to!)

When Stephanie’s cell phone rings with Sean’s name on the screen, she sends the boys to the backyard to play.

“Hello?”

She’s met with the gasping sobs of a broken man. “She’s gone.”

“Sean? Is that you? What’s wrong?”

His voice is strained, choked with tears. “Emily. She’s—someone—”

“Just take a breath. Tell me what happened.”

He does and in that second of silence, Stephanie can hear the chatter of many other people in the background. “She’s gone, Stephanie. I came home and found her…” He breaks into tears again and she works on drumming up her own as she allows a believable amount of time to pass to come to the conclusion he can’t put into words.

It’s not as difficult as she thought it might be to start crying; imagining Emily being murdered is an easy catalyst for tears. “Oh, my God. No!”

“Can you please look after Nicky tonight? I can’t have him here. The police say the house is a crime scene. I can’t let him see this.” He sounds destroyed.

“Yes, of course,” she says, working up plenty of tears. “Anything. Anything for Emily.” Her voice cracks over her name. “Let me know how I can help.”

“You’re a saint. Thank you. I need to go. I’ll call when you can bring Nicky home.”

Stephanie cries in earnest when she sets her phone down. Everything was so easy with Emily by her side but she’s gone and she has to see the last leg of this journey through alone.

Emily will be on a plane now somewhere over the Atlantic. They won’t communicate again for some time; they can’t risk it once the investigation begins. They won’t communicate at all until Stephanie, Miles, and Nicky show up at Emily’s new front door.

Their new front door.

She cries because she misses the woman she loves.

~ ~

~ ~

Three days pass before Sean asks her to bring Nicky home.

The first night had been easy; he was excited to spend the night with Miles. The second, he asked if he could go home and she had to explain that she was watching him for a little while. The third, he cried that he missed his mom and dad.

That had been a difficult night for everyone. Lying to a little boy that he’ll see his parents soon, knowing he’s going to be told his mother is dead when she is very much alive…

If murder wasn’t already an egregious sin, setting it up so a little boy would mourn his mother unnecessarily…

She doesn’t let herself think about it.

When she arrives at Sean’s house, it’s in a far worse state than she and Emily had left it. It’s as though the police upturned every single thing, or maybe Sean had lost his mind when he found his wife strangled in their living room.

There are dark smudges on the walls and counters, fingerprint powder that has been left for someone else to clean up. The white couch is gone, leaving a noticeable void in the heart of the home.

Stephanie keeps an excessive distance between herself and Sean once they’ve hugged in grief. It’s a habit she needs to establish quickly, though it’s not a difficult one. Frankly, she’d like to have nothing to do with the man ever again, let alone be in the same room with him, but to accomplish one she’ll have to tolerate the other.

Nicky’s not ill-placed dramatics of the night previous are absent now and while he’s happy to be home, he doesn’t question why he had to stay at Stephanie’s house. He does ask where his mother is.

Stephanie grits her teeth while Sean tells him to wait in his room and he’ll talk to him soon.

“What did the detective say?” she asks once he’s upstairs. She refuses to ask how Sean’s holding up. It’s clear the answer is, “not well,” but she doesn’t need to be a source of sympathy for him.

“They’re investigating it as a burglary gone wrong. They think whoever did this didn’t expect someone to be home in the middle of the day and panicked.”

“That’s terrible,” she says with fake shock. “She was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Sean doesn’t seem convinced by that but he doesn’t explicitly disagree. “The police are interviewing everyone she has—had contact with. Don’t be surprised if they reach out to you.”

“No, of course. I’ll do everything I can to help.”

~ ~

~ ~

The funeral is a stark reminder of Emily’s aversion to casual human connection. Stephanie recognizes Emily’s boss, Dennis Nylon, from his advertisements attending with a smattering of similar high-fashion types she assumes to be Emily’s coworkers. To equal levels of astonishment and irritation, Darren, Sona, and Stacy are there with their children as though they gave two shits about Emily beyond either wanting to be her friend so they could tap into her A-list resources or to criticize her lack of helicopter parenting.

No one resembles someone who could be Emily’s mother and that makes Stephanie’s heart hurt. It’s a useful thought to get some tears flowing when she catches Stacy watching her with something akin to suspicion. She doesn’t want to be stoic but to be an emotional wreck would be just as question-inducing.

A thought, a tiny hint of guilt flits through her mind that someone’s daughter is being buried right now and the girl’s mother has no idea.

She blinks it away and holds Miles a little closer.

~ ~

~ ~

She single-handedly organizes the wake; Sean is useless and his mother wasn’t able to come, still recovering from hip replacement surgery, so Stephanie has to do it.

It seems the town’s gossip committee is feeling their own type of guilt for the way they treated Emily and even Stephanie, and she’s forced to grin and bear the brunt of their attempts to rid themselves of such regrets.

“You’re a real saint to help her family out like this,” Darren says sheepishly after having the gall to use one of her own recipes and compliment her vlog after teasing her for so long.

She tries not to flinch; it’s the second time she’s been referred to as such since she took someone’s life and it doesn’t sit well with her. “I’m not a saint. I—Emily’s my friend. She’d do the same for me.”

~ ~

~ ~

Nicky refuses to speak to her when she puts him to bed once everyone’s gone home. She doesn’t blame him; death is confusing and upsetting and she can’t imagine having to deal with it at such a young age. She wishes she could tell him it was all a trick, that his mom is waiting for him and he’ll see her again soon.

She contemplates it briefly but it will only stir more confusion in him and it should be Emily who discusses with him why this happened, not her.

She also can’t trust such a little boy to keep that type of thing a secret from his father.

Instead, she simply says, “I know your mother loves you very much.”

~ ~

~ ~

Another week passes before a detective knocks on her door.

He’s loud and cocky and borderline condescending when he asks her, “Just how close are you to Sean Townsend?”

The question is out of left field and she blinks in surprise. “Excuse me?”

“Some of the folks around here mentioned you’ve been spending quite a bit of time at his house.”

“Detective Summerville,” she says as her back straightens and she regrets her nicety of offering him tea, “what are you implying?”

He laughs loudly and holds up his hands as if surrendering. Or in defense. “I’m not implying anything. I was repeating an observation made by others.”

Stephanie finds it convenient that neighbors would only now take notice of her spending time at the house. She’s there far less often than she ever was when “Emily” was alive but now that she’s dead, they begin to gossip that Stephanie’s already swooped in on her grieving widower?

She’s offended, not for that but for the lack of gossip that she spent countless afternoons with Emily while Sean wasn’t home. Why? Because it was two women spending time together?

“I don’t appreciate their implications,” she says defiantly. “If I’m at Sean’s house it’s because I’m helping with his son, who is best friends with my own son. We’re not engaged in some torrid love affair. If that’s what you’re after, you should be taking a closer look at who Sean spends his time with.”

At least the offensive question set up her first breadcrumb perfectly.

It gets his attention and his cockiness shifts to genuine interest. “Is there something in Sean’s life we should be looking at?”

“Try someone.” She says it and then feigns regret as though she shouldn’t have said anything.

The detective pulls a tiny notebook from the breast pocket of his jacket and flips it open while clicking a pen. “Do you have a name?”

She shakes her head and wraps her arms around herself. “I only know what Emily told me.”

“And what is that?”

“I shouldn’t. It’s probably nothing.” She knows he won’t let it go.

“Miss Smothers, we have reason to believe Emily’s homicide wasn’t a burglary gone awry.”

“Why? What did you find?” She knows they found nothing; nothing, that is, but a poorly staged crime scene.

“I can’t tell you that, but I can tell you that any information you have may be helpful.”

She takes a breath and nods. “Emily told me a few weeks ago that she was going to ask Sean for a divorce.”

That information is definitely new to the detective and he almost quivers with excitement in its revelation. “Did she say why she wanted a divorce?”

“He was—or is, I don’t know—having an affair with his T.A. at the university where he teaches. She was scared, and I’d never seen her scared a day in my life. But she was scared when she told me that. Like she was scared of what he might do if she tried to leave him.”

“And you didn’t think to alert the authorities?”

She sets her jaw firm at the return of his condescension. “I didn’t think he would actually…” She trails off to let Mr. Man-in-Charge reach the conclusion on his own; she’s planted the seed for what might have happened and unless he connects the dots himself, he won’t place enough importance on the theory.

“And are you aware he took out a four million dollar life insurance policy on Emily less than a year ago?”

She hesitates for dramatic effect, then nods. She has to be partially honest now.

“What’s interesting to me, though, is that last month, Emily made you the sole beneficiary. I guess you really were her best friend.”

She nods again. “I told you:  she was scared. She was afraid of Sean, of what he might do. She didn’t want her son to suffer if something happened to her.”

“You talked about the possibility of Sean killing her?”

“Not in so many words, no.” She rubs the back of her neck. Her nerves are real now; she can’t misstep. One chink in the armor is all it will take. “She said she wanted a safety net. Just in case. It’s why we started guardianship paperwork, too.”

“Emily was going to make you the guardian of their child?”

“Like I said: it was all a safety net. A back-up plan in case...well...in case.” She shrugs at the obvious.

“I see. Well, I guess this means you’re getting four million dollars once we finish our investigation into Ms. Nelson’s death. Assuming you had nothing to do with it, of course,” he adds with an unnerving smile.

She ignores his bait. “Does Sean know about me being the beneficiary?”

“Not as far as I know; he hasn’t tried to file a claim or contacted them at all according to the agent. With a payout of this size and with the circumstances, you can expect them to open their own investigation.”

“No, of course,” she says, nodding in understanding. “Do you think I should wait to file for any reason? I don’t want to interfere with your investigation.”

He scribbles in his notebook as he shakes his head, then clicks his pen and puts them both back into his pocket. “That won’t be necessary. Thank you for your time, Miss Smothers. We’ll be in touch. If you think of anything else that might be of interest, give me a call.” He hands her a business card and shows himself out of her home.

When the door closes she breathes a sigh of relief and sinks onto the couch to hug a throw pillow to her chest wishing it was Emily.

~ ~

~ ~

Sean finds out about the life insurance policy when Stephanie has to ask for a copy of Emily’s death certificate. She’d tried to avoid going through him but no one would provide her the required documentation because she wasn’t Emily’s next of kin.

“Why would she do that?” He looks almost as broken as he did after Emily’s death. It was clear he had yet to even think about collecting on her death which was, Stephanie supposed, admirable. “That was so I could support Nicky if anything ever happened.”

And that’s exactly what it will be used for. “I don’t know, Sean.” She can’t tell him the reason she told the detective; it’s not yet time for him to know. “But I promise, I’ll help with Nicky in any way I can.”

He agrees to put in the request for the needed paperwork regardless of his confusion and Stephanie offers to make dinner for him.

It’s the least she can do, given the circumstances. It’s the least she can do as she slowly takes everything that ever mattered to this poor man.

~ ~

~ ~

He learns a week later that Emily’s put into her will that should anything happen to Sean, custody of Nicky is to be granted to one Stephanie Smothers.

He shows up on Stephanie’s doorstep irate, pounding on her front door demanding to know what he did to deserve this.

She calms him down with chamomile tea and reassurances that Emily’s decision was only in Nicky’s best interest and Sean has nothing to worry about. That the guardianship will only be enacted should something happen to him as well and surely, nothing will change.

~ ~

~ ~

Sean is arrested three weeks later.

According to the news, he is a possessive husband who was engaging in a torrid affair with a college student. He snapped when his successful wife found out and tried to divorce him. He’d strangled her with a rope (the police had found a rope just like it in his gardening shed) in a fit of rage, then staged the house to make it look like someone had broken in to burglarize the home. Much of her jewelry appeared to be missing and the police uncovered one piece, a diamond and ruby necklace, at a pawn shop just a few miles from Warfield.

The shop’s security cameras weren’t recording at the time and no one remembers who sold them the necklace. It’s the only piece of missing jewelry that will ever be found. The rest, Stephanie knows, will be disassembled and sold separately as gemstones and precious metals over time to shops outside the United States.

She rushes to the police station as soon as the breaking news report about his arrest ends. No one has contacted her, but then again, no one would know to do so.

She arrives prepared, a certified copy of Emily’s Last Will and Testament and partially signed guardianship papers in hand should they be necessary.

There’s press everywhere, local news trucks and reporters from New York City are parked outside the station. They pay her no mind and she speaks to the officer at the front desk about the situation and her concern for Nicky Townsend’s well-being, and do they know where he is and if he’s okay?

Her concern is genuine; she doesn’t know how long Sean’s been in jail. She doesn’t know where Nicky is or if he understands what’s happening. He’s surely scared and upset; his life has been in turmoil for weeks since his mother died and now this.

She’s given the name and phone number of a Child Protective Services counselor and several more phone calls are required once she arrives at their office. Calls to lawyers, to law enforcement, to agency directors until she’s signing paperwork stating who she is and where she lives to allow Nicky to be released into her temporary custody.

It’s clear he’s upset: he won’t even speak to Miles on the car ride to her house. She knows he knows what’s happened; the counselor took care of educating him on where his father is, but (of course) not the specifics of why he is there.

She lets the boys have whatever they want for dinner and stay up as late as they want. They build a fort in the living room and the three of them fall asleep there together.

~ ~

~ ~

The trial is arduous. Stephanie watches much of it play out in the news headlines. The jury selection. The recap of the arguments that were made each day. The evidence that was presented. She lives with constant, haunting worry that something will go wrong. That she and Emily made an error along the way. That one day the police will knock on her door with an arrest warrant for the murder of Faith McLanden.

More weeks pass.

She’s called to testify by the state’s prosecution.

“Can you describe your relationship to the victim?”

“Emily Nelson and I were best friends. Our sons are in the same class at Warfield Elementary.”

“Can you please share with the court what you told Detective Summerville on April 26, 2018 with regard to Sean Townsend’s personal relationships?”

Stephanie recounts what she’d told the detective about Emily confiding in her about Sean’s affair, her desire for a divorce, and her fear of the consequences. She’s asked to share the details of becoming the beneficiary of Emily’s life insurance, the guardianship paperwork they’d started, and the temporary custody of Nicky she’s been granted.

Sean’s defense attorney grills her about the details of her relationship with Emily. Why she trusted her so much as to give her millions of dollars. To trust her with her son. He stops short of saying the words, but she knows the implication he’s making. He wants the jury to think there’s more to the story. That Sean wasn’t the only unfaithful spouse.

All he needs to do is put enough doubt in the jurors’ minds to get them to return that Not Guilty verdict.

He doesn’t.

Stephanie watches the sentencing coverage on the news, heart in her throat and tears on her cheeks while she packs.

Sean Townsend will spend forty years in Bridgeport Correctional Center for the murder of Emily Nelson.

Stephanie Smothers is granted sole custody of Nicky Townsend in accordance with Emily’s will.

Stephanie and Miles Smothers and Nicky Townsend are reported missing by a concerned citizen on July 19, 2018.

~ ~

~ ~

(Chapter 16)

[thesffcorner]

The King’s Men

The King’s Men is the third book in the All for the Game written by Nora Sakavic. If you haven’t read the previous two books, then first off, why are you reading this, second, I will SPOIL EVERYTHING that happens in them. Got it? Good. Let’s start. 

I read the Raven King and started writing a review, that I just couldn’t finish. I was so shell-shocked, so absolutely floored by the way that book ends, that I couldn’t put any of the things I felt into words, and by the time I felt I could write something, I had forgotten some of the things that happened in the first half of the book. I had no desire to reread it; I had no desire to read anything really, that’s how deep the reading slump that book threw me in was. I wasn’t sure I would ever finish the series. Well, finish the series I did, and I’m happy to say that this was my favorite book. In most ways I liked it the same as book 2, but the ending really bumped it up a notch higher than The Raven King. We pick up right after the end of book 2; Neil Josten somehow managed to survive the brutality of Edgar Allen, and is back in Palmetto State, at the same time that Andrew is released from the hospital. Things aren’t looking great for the team: now that Andrew is back and off his meds, the team is back to antagonism and their 2 separate groups, something they can’t afford if they have any hopes of making to the Championship. Moreover, now that the Moriyamas know who Neil is, he can no longer hide behind his identity, and his past might finally be catching up to him. I think it’s best to go through the same points I had for the first book, so let’s start with The Plot: This is the longest book, and as such it’s the most involved plot. Not only do we follow the preliminary rounds leading up to the Spring Championship, but we also have to deal with all the revelations from the previous book: what Rico does to his teammates, his constant threats and psychological warfare over the Foxes, Kevin’s guilt for abandoning Jean to Rico’s whims, Kevin’s parentage, Neil knowing about Kevin’s parentage and Rico and Kevin knowing the truth about Neil. There is also the fact that due to Rico’s intervention Neil is now visible to the public, and of course, Andrew being sober after 2 full years of medication. It’s a lot to cover, and for the most part, I think the book handles all of these threads well. Like always with this series, I have a lot of questions that I’m sure will never be answered, so let’s start with the most obvious: the mafia plot. I was surprised to see the plot with Neil’s dad culminating around the book’s midpoint; it’s resolved before any of the Championship stuff is, which was an odd choice. The Championship, as important as it is to Neil, is still just a game; his father on the other hand is a murderer who has spent the last 8 years trying to kill Neil, and has successfully killed his mother. This section of the book was the hardest for me to read; I don’t know what it is about Sakavic wanting for Neil to suffer the most gruesome violence, but the amount of abuse this poor child has gone through is almost insane, considering he’s 19. Maybe because of what happened to him in Edgar Allen I was more prepared for the torture in this, maybe it was because I finally got desensetised to the amount of abuse in these books, but I found this slightly less emotionally taxing to read than the ending of book 2. It’s still incredibly gruesome and if you are at all triggered by this kind of stuff, stay far far away from this book (though really what are you doing reading book 3 in a series). I am not squeamish about violence or torture, but even I needed to take breaks. How Nathan’s men find Neil was something I wasn’t super clear on, but what I especially wasn’t clear on was the aftermath. I genuinely thought Nathan might maim Neil, since I had no idea what could possibly happen to get him out of that situation, and when Stuart appeared, I was shocked. His character is set up, all the way back in book 1, but I had genuinely forgotten about him in the midst of everything else, and he was welcome reveal I had not seen coming. The plot with the FBI was just bizarre to me. I have heard of people who can refuse being put under witness protection before, so that wasn’t off putting; what was, was the Feds agreeing to not only bring the Foxes to Neil, but also allow Andrew to stay with Neil the whole time he is telling them his story! I find that very hard to believe; no agency in their right mind would want an unrelated party knowing so much sensitive information about an ongoing case. In the end, we also never find out what happens to the Butcher’s Kingdom? Did they ever catch Jensen and his brother? Then there are the Moriyamas. I found the scene between Ichorou and Neil kind of funny, in how hard it tried to paint Ichorou as this dangerous, violent man who commands so much respect, while also being described as barely a 20 year old. I did appreciate that Neil was still as sharp and clever as ever, and the way he spins the events of the past two books to not only make Coach Moriyama and Rico as the villains, but also secure a future for himself, Kevin and Jean was amazing. The ending was… interesting. Look, here’s the thing: Rico absolutely was a piece of shit. He was abusive, sadistic, arrogant, unhinged and violent, and he was never shown to have any kind of redeeming qualities or even the possibility of change. But he was also still a victim; Exy was all he had, all he would ever have, and his relentless desire to get noticed by his father was humanizing. He shared that one trait with Neil and seeing him being shown a single act of kindness by Ichorou and then immediately getting shot in the head before Neil was horrifying. The fact that Neil has no morsel of remorse for him too? That was cold. Like father like son. Also does this mean that Edgar Allen won’t be a prison anymore? Evermore is no longer the Moriyama domain? Is Ichorou washing his hands off of exy? Speaking of exy, all of my criticisms still stand. However, I will say that I got used to it enough to where I honestly didn’t care or notice how out of place it was anymore. With everything happening in this book, worrying about the intricacies of how exy tied into this world became irelevant. This didn’t make the games bad or irrelevant though; I enjoyed all of the matches, especially the last 3, where some strategies and positions were changed around. Having Neil play defense against Rico was sweet revenge; I also liked that the final goal was almost a non-presence, because Neil doesn’t even know it’s happening. He’s so tired and so lost in his head that he doesn’t even realize they’d won. Honestly, having people positioned as they were at the end of the book, I almost wanted to find out more of how the world of exy looked. With Jean going to UTC, the Ravens under new management, Renee, Alison, and Dan leaving Palmetto, and Neil as captain, it would have been fun to see how the sport and the game changed. Look at me, praising a fake sport that I hated so much in book 1. Characters: I don’t think anyone reads this series for exy though, let’s be real. No, the real draw are the characters, and the relationships between them. The bulk of the character development came down in book 2; book 2 was where we found out what Andrew’s backstory was, why he and Aaron hate each-other, Nicky’s family situation, Renee’s backstory, the fallout of Seth’s murder, everything to do with Rico, Kevin and Jean, and Wymack. This book builds on all of that; Neil takes front and center role, and I really liked that. He has finally accepted that he is the glue that holds the team together; even when he’s faced with his imminent death, his first priority is protecting Andrew and the rest of the Foxes, even if that means leaving them again, knowing full well his absence would destroy them. Neil constantly thinks of himself as selfish, because he’s been taught that wanting anything other than survival is selfish, but he’s nothing but selfless. Andrew puts it best, he has a martyr complex, and he genuinely wants to do right by everyone, even if that means having little to no regard for his physical safety. He risks abuse and injuries to get people to come together, and honestly, anyone who spends time trying to crack Andrew’s shell is a saint. I didn’t much care for the Foxes when I met them, but in this book, I had fallen in love with all of them. Dan was always great, though she takes a back seat here, mostly so we can have more time to get to know the rest of the cast. Renee was always the character I struggled with the most, but I liked her a lot here. I liked that she knew exactly when to push and when to leave things be, both with Andrew and Neil. I honestly wish we could have been in her perspective when she got Jean out of Evermore, that was such a badass scene. I liked Alison least in book 1, but I loved her here. She was an amazing character; I loved that she and Neil finally got a chance to talk and come to terms with Neil being responsible for Seth’s death, that she was allowed to be angry with Neil for the entirety for book 2. She is unapologetic about everything, from how hot, rich and done up she is, to how devoted and aggressive at exy she is too. I also loved that she was the one who got the trophy shelf. Matt was always my favorite character, and he was just a gem here. I always loved him the most out of the boys, and nothing has changed; he is as funny and kind, as ever, and he was always there for Neil, even when Neil wouldn’t admit he needed help. Also his reaction to the Maserati was priceless. Nicky was the one character who I was never sold on. He is the emotional core of the group in the sense that he gives Neil the push he needs to finally recontextualize his life and his priorities. He’s a man who just wants very badly to be liked and loved, and he’s constantly put in situations where he isn’t able to do that. Nicky was more prominent in book 2, though, so this book didn’t develop him any further. Kevin too was someone who got the bulk of his character development in book 2, but seeing him finally step into his own, stand up to Rico, take control over his life and get the 2 tattoo of his face was amazing. I loved that he got there gradually, but he still got there, and though he never became any more likable, it was so gratifying to see his growth. Aaron was the character I never liked, and I absolutely didn’t like him here either. That fight he has with Neil pissed me off so much, and I loved that Andrew picked Neil over Aaron, which at least showed me that he was a little more observant than he looked. Finally Andrew. Almost more than Neil, this series revolves around Andrew. Everything Neil does is to protect Andrew, which was a complete 180 from book 1, where Neil was willing to risk Andrew’s life just for a chance to play exy. Like Kevin, Andrew never becomes more likable, and his development is rather subtle and slight, but it’s still such a different place from where he started in book 1. He never truly becomes a good person, but he learns to accept people for the decisions that they make, and to let at least one other person in. His relationship with Neil was so well developed, that authors should learn how to write a good slowburn from it. The slow build of first begrudging trust, then friendship and finally romance was excellent, and for one I really didn’t mind the whole ‘I don’t care about gender, because I’m only attracted to you’ trope. I loved the revelation of Andrew’s photographic memory, because it tied so well with both his character and the scene where Neil asks him how Andrew can let anyone touch or kiss him after everything he’s been through. That he trusts Neil because he knows Neil would never do anything Andrew would say no to was really great. I also fucking called the whole he’s taking drugs for being a psychopath; it feels so good to be vindicated. Overall, I really enjoyed this final book. The series as a whole does have a lot of flaws, and it’s definitely an acquired taste, but I’m glad I read it. Each book kept getting better, and I feel like Sakavic really hit her stride with the second and this book in terms of her characters and plot. It’s a classic YA series for a reason, and I do recommend it if you can stomach the abuse/violence; I’d be curious to read anything else this author has in store.

[binbonsadoration]

Say Something - Part 8

Nick Tortano x Reader

Summary: You and Nicky Tortano are old friends that grew up in the same neighborhood and went to the same schools - childhood best friends.  What happens when life takes you both down two different paths, causing you two to drift only to bring you together ten years later as undercover cops trying to bring down one of the biggest drugs rings in Boston?

Only time can tell.

A/N: This will be a collaborative work by myself and the amazing @benbarnesescape.  Nicky doesn’t get near enough love, and so, here we are making sure that he gets at least a little slice of the love that he so deserves.  We do hope you enjoy it <3

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7

Nicky found himself still in confusion, his eyes watching the supposed couple take their route out of the small diner and out into the chill air.  Swallowing thickly, there was a moment where Nicky just remembered.  Days where things were different, where you would find the steps toward him instead of away.  The thoughts had his jaw clenching, the muscle tight and he breathed out.

What was he going to do now?  Your last encounter wasn’t the best, a scene that he tried his best to dismiss even if all he wanted to do was protect himself.

Protect you.

His world had crumbled that day, the love that he had in his heart fading into nothing more than ashes in the wind, and all he wanted to do was bury himself in the pain.  To be numb, and never allow himself to experience anything like that again.  It had been your presence that reminded him of that moment.  The last of the light slipping away, leaving him with a heart buried in the darkness that dwelled within his hometown.  

A darkness that he would soon find himself sinking into without hesitation.

A darkness that he accepted, and approached without fail.  

A place that was home now.

His steps leading him away were slow, hesitant.  Features were scrunched, that evident debate sketched against his hardened features that dared someone to challenge him in that moment.  Ever since that day within the library he wanted to make it up to you.  Asked about you when he wasn’t given a task to complete for Sal, a hope that you were doing well.

‘A boyfriend...’ The words echoed against the air, as a frustrated breath escaped dry lips.  

The word was foreign in his mouth, his thought on the image of you.  The more matured version of the girl he once well so well.  The version that occupied his thoughts, his dreams, only to be replaced with an image of you with this guy that was named ‘James’.  Emotions were a bitch, that much Nicholas Tortano was aware of.  Those feelings that he tried so desperately to rid himself of.  That was always the case until he found himself face to face with you.  Found himself wanting to reach out, to fix all the stupid mistakes that he had made, and admit once more that love that he only had for you.

Sure, he had his fun.  Those that Y/N described as cute, dumb and easy.  Those girls were never something that was a permanent fixture.  Nothing more than a means to an end.  Something that would pass the time, allow him to lose himself if only for a moment.

While Nicky wanted you to be happy, prayed for it even, the thought that your happiness didn’t involve him bothered the absolute hell out of him.  He had always seen the two of you together, a house that you built into your own in Boston with a couple pair of feet pattering down the hallway with a soft giggle that would immediately have a smile venturing to your lips.

Needless to say, the thought of you with someone else – a guy that was nothing like Nicky.  A guy that had his shit together, wasn’t putting his time and energy into something that would ultimately get him killed; smart, and able to give you anything that you needed, or hell … anything that you wanted.

Another breath surged from his lips, something of frustration and anger balled up within in his chest while he fought off the tight feeling that had fingers tightening against the paper bag in his grasp.  Jamming his free hand within his pocket, fingers caught the paper that lingered in his pocket.  Paper that had him debating, eyes narrowing slightly at the scribbled numbers that peered back at him.  It only took a moment before the decision was made.  His pace coming a bit quicker before he was standing in front of his apartment.

It wasn’t much.  A small space that gave him all he needed in terms of commodities.  It wasn’t as though he lived there, not really, when his head would find the pillow of his latest conquest.  That wasn’t what was on his mind in that moment, as he tore into the bag and stripped away his jacket.

His mind came skimming back to that moment.  The way your lips pressed against another’s, feeling that immediate green eyed monster take hold before another breath escaped his lips.  Taking a seat on his couch, fingers gripped at the burger, but his eyes took in that same piece of paper.

So many questions took hold.  A need to know why she was so interested in what was doing by the docks.  Why she was other there in the first place?  The way she immediately went into defense the moment that his fingers reached for your arm.  

There was so much that he needed answers to.  Especially when it came to him.  

Did you still love him?

Did you still love him the way that you once had?

The way that he still did.

‘....fuck it.’

Reaching out for the paper, arms that were now on display flexed as he gathered the paper in his grasp before he pulled the device from his back pocket.

The past was slowly beginning to catch up to him.  The visions of you when he protected you.  Was the one that made sure that if someone bothered you would be dealing with him.  Something that he still would put out into the world, except you didn’t need protecting any longer.  Not when you were the one pulling a knife and catching him off guard.

He needed answers.

Maybe that was why he was dialing your number without another thought, his tall frame leaning back against his worn couch while holding onto a breath that he didn’t realize he was holding onto.

‘Hello?’

The sound of your voice had him breathing out, a twinge of nerves coming to him before he was smirking.

‘Hey, angel.’

It only took a moment for the recognition to kick in, the sigh sounding on the opposite end that had him smirking that much more.

‘You weren’t done with our conversation?’  

He inquired, flipping the script regardless of the fact that all he wanted to do was confess his forgiveness once more.  He had never meant to hurt that.  That wasn’t what that was all about.  He wanted to protect you, knew that with the death of his Mother that his life wouldn’t do anything but spiral into an oblivion that he couldn’t have you connected to.  A request lingering on the lips of those that ran the town lingering in his ears before his Mother fell ill.  A promise that if he took care of them, that it would be a returned notion. Something that fell on deaf ears until his heart shattered into a million pieces, his Father losing his job and wanting better for his brother.  There was no other choice – not in his eyes when he agreed to the terms and conditions of a life that would require some blood shed, and his finger permanently hovering over the trigger of his 9mm.

There was a beat of silence, something that he didn’t expect until you were finally talking and Nicky was left with a narrowing gaze settling on the dingy paint that covered his walls.

‘You sure are curious about the ‘bad boys on the playground’?  Or, so you like to call them.  Why so interested?’

His own curiosity was pegged, and regardless of the fact that she had brushed it off as being concerned about him.  Something that he believed, though getting the sense there was more that she was telling him.  Nicky knew the reactions of those that were in it on the opposite side of things.  While most would have seen him as a ‘bad guy’, one of the those that was on the wrong side of the tracks, causing trouble and adding to the news that coursed the screen that had citizens gasping in disbelief.  He was only doing what he thought was necessary.

While others thought of him as dangerous, a made man, it was the secret that laid behind that title that many didn’t know about the man.  Something that Y/N knew all too well.  It was one thing to pound his fist into someone’s face, send the butt of the gun into someone’s temple, but when it came to ending someone life was a very different thing.  These people that got in the way of his boss – they were human beings with families – wives, children, and he had already watched the life drain from his own Mother.  He refused to watch someone else, to experience the pain that someone else would feel in finding out that their Father or loved one was killed in cold blood.

The thought had him sighing out, swallowing almost harshly as he listened to the familiar voice on the opposite end of the phone.  

Listening to the explanation, something that sounded more like an excuse, he cut you off.

‘I’m sure you have a great reasoning, but … I need you to listen to me.’

It took a moment to get your attention, some convincing on his part, where he had to cut you on more than one occasion.  

‘Y/N – please, just let me talk for a minute.’

There was continued talking, an almost frustration in your voice when he heaved a sigh.

‘Y/N – damn it! Will you please listen to me for a fuckin’ minute?’

The frustration was evident, a tone that hung loosely over his words as you fell into silence that felt hesitation.

‘I love you.  I always have – hell, always will.  Seeing you with .. whatever the fuck his name was bothered the absolute hell outta me.’

Words came with a softness, a bitterness that hung in the air when he thought of the two of you together within the diner.

‘You were always my end game.  Ever since we were kids, and regardless of the fact that you don’t believe me – yeah, I may have went for the cute, dumb and easy, but you .. you’re the one that always lingered in my head in knowing that I could never have you.  That I wanted to have you by my side, protecting you, being the person that you needed – and you pushed me away.  I’m sorry that I did the same.  I was scared, worried, and broken – I didn’t want you to see me that way, and I knew that you deserved better.  You didn’t need the boy that lost his world and was swallowed up by the darkness.  I knew that I could never be the man that you needed .. the man you deserved, but I want to try.  You can’t tell me that you don’t want to see where it would go?’

There was a bit of silence, speaking once more before you could allow the words to flow.

‘I have some things to take care of tomorrow morning, but meet me by the docks around .. lets say one?’

While word were stated in the form of a question, it was more of a statement that seemed to be answered with a knowing sigh that made a smirk quirk against his lips.

‘See you then, angel.’

With that he was hanging up the phone, a hope that things would change.

That if you agreed that he would have to keep what he was involved in a secret, the only way to protect the few people that he loved in his world.

To protect you.

tags: @just-nikkii, @ladyblablabla, @drinix, @youveseen–thebutcher, @marauderskeeper, @thesandbeneathmytoes, @cutie-bug, @banditthewriter

[empressdrega27]

Allergies

 WHATUP MY DUDES?! IT’S TIME FOR ANOTHER ONESHOT! This one was requested by https://awesomea353.tumblr.com/ (it wouldn’t let me tag you :/) 

Prompt: Reader has never been to New York, but is a long time friend of Nicky’s, she’s like his older sister. When she arrives in New York, Nicky’s ecstatic and insists she visit the museum, since she’a a history nerd. She goes to the museum and meets Ahk, but forgets her dust allergy in the excitement.

 Enjoy!

Long plane rides are the worst. You don't think a truer fact has ever been spoken. You had just completed one such plane ride and were thoroughly done with the whole experience. You had taken a flight from your hometown to New York City to visit your long time friend, Nick Daley. You had met him through various video game servers, and had become fast friends.

 Though now, he was more like a little brother than anything. You cared about him deeply, so when he practically begged you to come visit him, you couldn't refuse. And so, you had scheduled a round trip flight to the big apple. You'd just arrived and so far New York was...... big.

 And really loud!

  Did Nicky tell you it'd be this loud? Probably not. Well, it was too late to turn back now! On you went, through the airport to find you cheeky little bro. He and his father had insisted that you stay with them (well Nicky insisted, his father, not so much) to save money. They were easy enough to find, and soon the three of you were on your  way to the Daley residence.

"So, what are we gonna be doing while I'm here?", You asked.

"We're gonna hang out at my dad's job, he works at the Natural History museum."

Your eyes lit up. You loved history, and getting to stay at a museum as long as you wanted? Now that made the stupid plane ride worth it.

"No way! How long can we stay?", You asked, practically vibrating with excitment.

Nicky grinned, "As long as we want! Dad's the night guard, so we'll be there all night."

You could barely contain your excitment. Not only did you get to stay at the museum all night, you'd have it all to yourself, for the most part anyways.

"I can't wait!", you exclaimed.

Nicky smiled at your excitement. You already thought that the museum was cool, but you didn't know just how cool it really was. He couldn't wait to see your face when all the exhibits came to life. And he could think of a certain Pharaoh who would be interested to meet you too.

    Soon it was time to go, and boy were you psyched! The drive to the museum wasn't that long, and you got an excellent view of central park along the way. You'd have to go visit the park later, if you had time that is. As Larry (he cringed when you called him Mr. Daley and told you to call him Larry) pulled into his space near the cargo doors, you couldn't help but stare at the massive building before you. There were museums in your hometown, sure, but nothing like this. 

You wondered vaguely how many of your city halls would fit into this museum. It'd take you at least three days to explore the whole thing, which was perfect because you were here for a week. Larry unlocked the door and you all filed in from the cold New York air. You weren't really bothered by the cold, it was spring and summer that caused you the most trouble.

 You had a lot of allergies, namely to pollen, dander, and dust. It wasn't life threatening, but it did make you sneeze uncontrollably and made your eyes swell shut. Luckily, you'd learned to bring allergy meds with you wherever you went, just in case.

  It was about 5:45 and you were wandering around the entrance hall of the museum. You read about Teddy Roosevelt and how he helped to make the museum what it was today. He had a cool horse too. 

  Larry and Nicky had told you to stay in the entrance hall, so you did. I'd be incredibly rude to disregard their wishes. You looked at your watch and saw that the time was now 5:59, and just as the clock struck six, the floor shook. You heard an odd noise. It sounded like, rattling bones? You looked up and came face to face with a skeletal t-rex.

  Your eyes widened and you sucked in a breath and held it. The massive bony thing seemed to be smelling you, which should be impossible on account of how it had no sinuses. Or lungs. OR FLESH OF ANY KIND.

"Down Rexy!", a voice called. You saw Nicky running towards you with a remote controled car following behind.

The skeleton ("Rexy" apparently), immediately turned to Nicky and started wagging it's massive tail. Like a huge dog. What was happening right now?

"Sorry about that. He didn't know there'd be a visitor", Nicky scratched Rexy's chin.

"It was supposed to be a surprise. For everyone. But it didn't go like we thought it would", he rubbed the back of his neck.

"What, the giant dinosaur that was about to eat me wasn't part of your plan?", you snarked.

Nicky looked away, "We were supposed to be here, with you. It'd be a huge reveal and you'd meet everyone........ *sigh* I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's okay. I just wasn't expecting it, that's all. How about we try it again? Tell me what you would have if everything went as planned."

You hugged him.

"Okay!", he replied.

And so you met the exhibits, and learned about the magic of the museum. It was a lot to take in, but you handled it well.

"There's one more person I want you to meet", Nicky said as he lead you up the stairs to the second floor.

"Hmm, must be someone really special if you saved em' for last", you teased.

Nicky grinned, "Yeah, he is! He's like my big brother, I think you'll like him".

You raised an eyebrow. Big brother huh? Seemed like you had some competition.

You and Nicky rounded the corner and found yourselves in the Egyptian wing. You stopped to look at some of the artifacts, but Nicky kept pulling you away.

"Hey! I was reading that!", you yelled indignantly.

"We don't have time to read, we only have two hours left!", Nicky exclaimed.

"Two hours is plenty of time to read /and/ meet your mystery guy", you argued.

Nicky rolled his eyes. He should've known that the history nerd in you would ruin all the fun.

The two of you neared a large hallway, with large slabs of stone covered in Heiroglyphs. It was really impressive actually.

"HEY AHK!", Nicky shouted, "I HOPE YOU'RE DRESSED CUZ I BROUGHT SOMEONE TO SEE YOU!"

You winced. Nicky was living up to the loud teen sterotype with gusto, apparently. You kept walking forward and heard a voice reply,

"Nicolas, must you use such volume in my exhibit? There is quite an echo in here, I'll have you know."

That must be the mystery guy. Huh. You didn't expect him to have a British accent. As you kept walking, you came to the entrance of a huge alcove. With a sarcophagus at the end, it was obvious that this was a tomb. What was surprising was the man standing in front of said sarcophagus. He had a golden cloak and a golden collar, with a golden crown to top it all off. Even his skin looked golden! You were starting to loose focus. The man then turned around to look at you and Nicky. Now you really lost the plot.

The guy was hot, like supernaturally hot. No man should be that attractive, your mind screamed desperately. And yet he was, he reminded you of that one meme with the lady who saw a man so beautiful she started crying. Didn't that lady give the guy some money? Should you give this guy some money? Probably not, he /is/ covered in gold after all......... Wait are they talking to you?

CRAP. Your inner monologue was cut short by Nicky elbowing you sharply in the ribs.

"Ow! That hurt, jerkface", you muttered.

"Then stop drooling and say something!", Nicky hissed.

You noticed that golden Pharaoh guy (he must be royalty, and it /is/ the Egyptian wing) was watching the two of you with an amused expression. He looked at Nicky and said,

 "If you're finished, I believe you said that you had someone you wanted me to meet."  

He looked at you as he said this and you felt the sudden sensation that someone had stolen your stomach and was using it as a hackey sack.

"Yep! Ahkmenrah, this is my best friend Y/n. Y/n, this is my other best friend, King Ahkmenrah."

Ahkmenrah took your hand and kissed the back of it.

"A pleasure to meet you, Y/n."

WOW, this guy was good. Five minutes in and you were already swooning.

 Unfortunately, before you could also turn on the charm, or even speak at all, you felt the familiar and completely awful tickle in your nose. You had only moments to turn around and avoid sneezing on the Pharaoh. You ended up sneezing on Nicky instead.

"A, aa, ACHOO!"

"EWWW, GROSS", Nicky yelled.

But as you knew, this was only the beginning. In your excitement, you failed to remember that this is a museum, which are by nature, very dusty. Your eyes started watering and you could feel them swelling up. You continued to sneeze, and with each one it became more of a struggle to breathe. By now, both Nicky and Ahk had become very concerned for your well being.

"Y/n?! What's wrong?! What's happening?!", Nicky was panicking, and by the sound of it, Ahk wasn't doing much better.

"Nicky, go get your father, perhaps he'll know what to do."

You could barely see, so you only knew that he left from the sound of pounding footsteps that gradually faded. You were gasping in between each sneeze, and when you weren't sneezing, you were coughing hard enough to hack up a lung. You felt a hand on your back, patting it gently.

"Breathe, Y/n. Take a deep breath", Ahk said.

You tried your best, but it didn't help much. You continued to sneeze and cough. You were so embarrassed.

"Is there any treatment for this?", Ahk asked. His voice had a strained edge to it, you could tell he was worried.

"Ye-yes. *Wheeze* My al-*cough*-allergy medicine. ACHOO! Ugh. It's in my bag....".

"And that medicine will stop your sneezing and coughing?"

"It should. *sniff* I haven't had a reaction like this in a *cough* long time."

"Reaction?", Ahk sounded confused.

"Yeah. I'm, ACHOOO! Agh, I'm allergic to dust", You replied morosely.

You could feel him tense, but before you could ask what was wrong, you heard running footsteps in the distance. It was Nicky and Larry, and they had your medicine.

  Luckily, your parents had told Larry about your allergies, fearing that this would happen. You had been so preoccupied with planning the trip itself that you completely forgot to tell Nicky about your dust allergy. A dangerous mistake that you'd never make again. You took you medicine and waited. Larry said you could rest in the guards office until you felt better.

  A little while later, you woke up from your nap and slowly opened your eyes. They were still a bit blurry, but at least you could see. You looked around the room and your eyes found that you weren't alone. Ahk was sitting beside the couch, looking out the window, a troubled look on his face. You felt sick. After seeing him smile, seeing him look so upset was awful. You made a vow to never let him look so sad again. Apparently he heard you move, because he turned to look at you. He smiled and walked over to sit next to you.

"How are you feeling?", he asked.

You stretched and replied, "A lot better. Just tired, ya know?"

He nodded, and you noticed that he wasn't wearing his crown. His hair was so curly! It was, really cute.

But he still looked so somber. You put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, what's wrong? You're acting like someone died", You thought about how much of a mess you were, "Did, did I do something?"

He turned to look at you sharply and took your hands in his, "No, no, you didn't do anything. I-", there were tears in his eyes.

"It was my fault that this happened. I almost killed you. I'm no king, I'm a murderer."

You looked at him incredulously.

"How is it your fault?! You didn't do this! It just... happened!", you squeezed his hands, "Ahkmenrah, you are /not/ to blame. Please, don't do this to yourself".

"I'm a mummy! I live in that Ra forsaken tomb, in that disgusting sarcophagus! There's dust everywhere! It's all over me, and you....."

You couldn't help but laugh. Ahk stared at you indignantly.

"What on Earth could possibly be amusing about any of this?"

"Ahk, your exhibit is spotless. And there's no dust on you! Seriously! You didn't do this, okay?"

"Well then, if not from me, then where?"

You thought for a moment.

"Atilla's exhibit was pretty dirty, and Dexter /is/ a monkey.......... plus Lewis and Clark's maps are super old.......", you shrugged.

"It could have been from any of them", Ahk opened his mouth to argue, "Any of them except you."

He considered this for a moment before nodding.

"Alright. I believe you."

"Finally! You're harder to convince than my dad! And that's saying something."

  You both laughed. But then you suddenly remembered that your face is most likely caked in dried snot, your eyes are red and puffy, and your voice sounds like your nose is full of sawdust and silly putty. And you're talking to a literal king. 

Great.

You blushed, "I must look like hell. Sorry you had to see that, it's really gross."

Ahk smiled softly, "Nonsense. You look beautiful. And believe me, I've seen much worse."

"Worse than a storm of snot and sneezing? I doubt it."

Ahk grinned, "Once, Nicky took some of us Trick or Treating. He had a huge bag of candy and ate the whole thing. He then vomited it all up again, on my feet."

You cringed, "Oh nasty! One time, we were on X-Box live playing Injustice and he said he had to go to the bathroom, but he left his mic on and all I heard was the loudest, wettest sounding fart ever! I recorded it and every time he says something stupid, I play it back."

 The two of you kept telling funny stories about Nicky and yourselves, and you laughed harder at each one. You were both crying laughing. After a while, Larry popped in to tell Ahk that there was only 15 minutes until sunrise. He deflated a bit.

"Already? It feels as though no time has passed at all."

"I know right? Well, I guess you have to go, huh?"

Ahk sighed, "Yes. It is time", he looked at you expectantly, "I shall see you tomorrow, yes?"

You beamed, "Definitely! And I'll take my allergy meds before I come. No more snot storm."

You both giggled at that. You decided to walk him back to his exhibit. He was just about to get into the sarcophagus, when you stopped him.

"Ahk wait!"

He stopped and regarded you curiously, "Yes Y/n? What is it?"

You walked over to him and kissed him on his cheek. He blushed.

You smirked, "It was a pleasure to meet you as well, Ahkmenrah~  See you tomorrow!" And with that, you ran out of his exhibit. You couldn't believe you just did that! But, it was totally worth it.

Meanwhile, Ahk was shocked. He rubbed his hand against his cheek, where you'd kissed him. He smiled. He looked forward to seeing you again, and as he closed the lid of the sarcophagus, he felt calm for the first time in centuries.

You and the Daleys left the museum, and you couldn't wait to go back.

"You have a crush on Ahk don't you?", Nicky teased.

You rolled your eyes, "So what if I do?"

"He really likes you, ya know."

Your cheeks flushed a bit, "He does?"

Nicky nodded, "Uh-huh. Maybe you should move here....."

You looked back at the museum, "Maybe I will".

[floggingink]

Riverdale, “Chapter Eighteen: When a Stranger Calls”

good afternoon, this episode made me lose sleep

Jughead doesn’t even have his framing narration voiceover, because he is in too much pain, RETROACTIVELY, to WRITE IT DOWN

this is a great episode, but it’s especially a great episode for Betty’s left eyebrow, Alice’s left eyebrow, and Jughead’s pecs

there’s a very STEALTHY ticking clock sound in the background of Betty and the Black Hood’s phonecall, taken in spirit, I hope, from Hans Zimmer’s Dunkirk soundtrack, where you don’t notice it but the protracted effect makes you feel like you’re going crazy

Jughead is Betty’s “mystery-loving boyfriend”

Alice was fond of Jughead so long as he was on Betty’s newspaper staff and showed Alice compassion when her family life was crumbling, but now that he lives in a different zip code she’s over it

Archie in green is always his best choice

Archie of course walks Betty to school and of course promises not to tell a secret before he hears it

does Betty enlist Archie as her handmaiden because he’s the best choice (will do as she says, will not branch out on his own, will refuse on moral grounds to abandon her) or because she can do so with the least amount of fanfare?

“BETTY, YOU HAVE TO TELL THE POLICE, EVEN IF IT’S NOT HIM.” Archie drops some vintage bon mots today!

The Blossom spawn: it’s incredible that the Black Hood knows where Polly is when it seems like Betty doesn’t even know

Dilton Doiley is a canonically great dancer: Dilton’s stunt got the southside into more trouble, which seems like exactly the amount of power he wants to wield

remember last season when Dilton caved to Jughead’s threat of exposing him as a gun-loving loon? Dilton has purged his life of all semblances of normalcy, out in the open, so no one can do that again

apparently now we can all chill in Hiram’s study with him

Veronica was rich: Hiram’s true crime is gentrification! sounds about right!

Certified pedigree: Veronica perks up and Hermione and Hiram look at each other and agree to the same game plan silently: pimp her out

Sweet Pea is, I think, showing commendable patience towards Jughead, for someone who does not necessarily have to, for still having this particular girlfriend and best friend (“your boy, Andrews”) after day after day of southside-reasons not to. Jughead is like….I know….I don’t control them….

Jughead did not see Veronica shooting a gun coming! poor Jug is so out of the loop!

I guess Fangs earned his stripes? was it by getting an engineering degree?

What damn high school in America: okay wait, I missed before when they explained that “Fogarty’s cousin” is “in the Army” and was “going to build us something.” I can’t believe they actually FUCKING EXPLAIN IT

Sweet Pea did not know who he was talking to when he tried to hit Jughead with “It can’t get any worse.” Jughead is like, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING—

“You can’t be half a Serpent”: it’s FASCINATING TO ME how the actual on-the-ground Serpents deal with Jughead, who is familially a Serpent but not an indoctrinated one, who has been baptised but not confirmed, if you will, who keeps telling them to knock it off with the gang stuff, and yet they’re like, very careful about giving him latitude to move around in their world without having paid his membership fee, you know? I just think it’s amazing how, and I know it’s a TV show and not like a documentary, but I think it’s an interesting choice how Sweet Pea isn’t just like, Get fucked, Jughead. he hears Jughead’s objections. he explains himself

These students are legally children: the grown-up Serpents either ghost-endorse the Serpent kids taking matters into their own hands or have no idea it’s happening. either way, these kids may not have flashy extracurriculars, but they have moxie

Toni calls Sweet Pea an idiot, which is great

Veronica says she and Nicky were the “will-they-or-won’t-they” of her old “jet-set”

admirably, she immediately tells Archie not to worry about him

Betty is barely hanging on to patience for absolutely anything

I want it on the record that Jughead not wearing his fleece jacket is slightly jarring after all this time and that he still looks great in the leather one

Sweet Pea calls him a “northsider” when he walks in, which seems like a callback to a World War II sergeant calling everybody “ladies”

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: Jughead is lit from behind by one of the yellow lamps, casting a glow around his hat like a fucking Renaissance painting

Gay?!: SERPENT DADDDDDYYYYY is going to “initiate” Jughead, because Riverdale loves me

Toni is looking at Jughead like she truly regrets his death, which is probably right

Archie, chilling out with Betty in her bedroom, totally without sexual pretence and just there to listen to the phone call on speaker, is GOOD ARCHIE

when Betty parries the Black Hood’s demand with her own, Archie mouths “WHAT ARE YOU DOING,” because he set a game plan

Betty is blue is her best choice

“Wait...is that…” ...VINTAGE TWIN PEAKS-ERA MÄDCHEN AMICK??!

the baby Serpents lined themselves up classically, in descending order from the middle, for Jughead’s aesthetic benefit

is it possible Toni is the only one who knows Jughead’s name is Forsythe?

Archie is pretty okay with Betty building this relationship with the Black Hood, as you will remember Archie is just as obsessed with him. also, Archie is taking it pretty well that it turns out BH is into Betty instead of him. he’s not insulted or anything

he’s SO RIGHT about Alice always ragging on all of them, too! Archie’s sudden flashes of insight are revelatory

the St. Clairs are appropriately fur-covered and smug, and Nicholas St. Clair, AKA ZACH FLORRICK FROM THE GOOD WIFE, is adorable and that actor has looked exactly like that for the past seven years

why didn’t Nicky and Veronica ever sync up? they’re both schemers and that’s a difficult needle to thread? like Blair and Chuck?

I am insulted on Betty’s behalf that Alice would think Betty would write the cipher herself, in that I would hope Alice would know Betty would have more sense than to be so obvious as to use a Nancy Drew code

Jughead is officially Betty’s “Serpent boyfriend”!!!! we have arrived, Alice!

50 Shades of Betty: Betty straight destroys her mother after getting eye-rolled at

Archie does bicep curls on his bed because he’s THAT good-looking

Toni’s FLANNEL TIGHTS are great

Jughead calls Sweet Pea an idiot too, after Toni opened that gate

OF COURSE Jughead is only joining the Serpents to try and keep the peace, because he finally found a cause to martyr himself to that is as grungy and doomed as possible and with no goshdarn way he can succeed

I’m down with the six rules! but I don’t think the show has told me exactly what being a Serpent entails yet. like what do gangs do? the Serpents aren’t a particularly druggy gang, apparently, like the motorcycle dudes in True Detective (the Ghoulies) or anything. it seems like they mostly exist to get ragged on and take care of their widows, like a very sad union

Jughead is truly scared to stick his hand in that tank and if Kevin were there he would have burst into tears

in fond congratulations, Toni calls him “Juggie,” which set off a synaptic transmission in my amygdala first time around. Jughead does a double take at it and Toni herself looks kind of like, Whoops, but then sort of pleased at her own daring

POP DOESN’T JUDGE. HE WAS HERE DURING THE RIOTS AND HE DOESN’T JUDGE

Betty having her own fucking newspaper makes me so fucking happy. I fucking love Betty goddammit

Betty’s splash of sparkles on her sweater is great too. YOU’RE ALWAYS SO PRETTY BETTY

Hermione made a flan. Hermione kind of cooks! ...unless it was Andre

Nicky’s bullet is kind of cute, in a stupid way

Archie was blindly terrified to drink rum, so I don’t think he’s going to snort cocaine

in the beginning of this episode, in the beginning, Nicky basically IS Veronica. just watch it and pretend Camilla is reading all his lines. he calls Archie “Big Red” and everyone “country mice” and says things like “What a brave new world it is” and thinks it’s hot Veronica is in a band with a sexy name. and Veronica knows this, and it makes her uncomfortable

“Damn good coffee”: the retro “Lollipop” ringtone is psycho by only the second time you hear it. Dilton would love it

“How does it feel, Betty?” FEELS GREAT!

Black Hood out here really believing Veronica is complicit with her father’s crimes??? maybe if it was for getting that girl to drink gutter water

Betty and Jughead haven’t seen each other in 24-48 hours and their meetup kiss is like if Jughead like, immigrated to America and sent money back home FOR YEARS while he worked in THE MINES until he saved enough for Betty to join him and they just met on the pier during a glorious sunset, I didn’t get a lot of sleep!!!!! the kiss is really good. is it the best kiss? it’s because it’s like their first kiss but over the other shoulder. was their best kiss in the trailer park with the God light?

THEY FEEL “UNMOORED” WITHOUT EACH OTHER, GOOD EVENING DEATH

obviously the best kiss was when Jughead tossed her up on his countertop like she was a black truffle salad at the Grill Room and bit her collarbone

Jughead: “I just wanted to make sure you were still alive.” Betty: “KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN.”

Jughead read the Blue & Gold article online and glowed with pride. he showed Sweet Pea: “SEE. SHE writes stuff like THIS.”

aw, they’re both sitting there, holding hands, lying to each other

I love Jughead wanting to literally leave Riverdale. Season One Jughead was obsessed with Riverdale. Season Two Jughead is like FUCK Riverdale

I hate how Jughead is gazing at Betty from across the table when she cries her single tear because it was so beautiful I had to punch through a window like Josh Lyman and it hurt and I retroactively hate Jughead for that

Betty calls them “Romeo and Juliet, but we live happily ever after instead,” because she doesn’t know she’s only eighteen minutes into the episode

Nick’s white cardigan? sure

he gets another Veronica line with “You Pussycats are pearls before the swine of Riverdale.” is this how people in Manhattan talk now?

Cheryl’s a chaos angel from hell: Cheryl gets herself invited to the party by introducing herself, which would not work if this were Jane Austen, unless Nick were Henry Crawford, but Cheryl’s got this like black romper thing going on and posed in the doorway like one of the “Cell Block Tango” girls and at this point is a walking Riverdale legend

“Ten o’clock you said? I’ll be there at eleven.”

Archie crashes gently into someone while he chases Betty, which is a callback to Archie constantly falling over shit in the comics

Veronica probably went to the Gilded Lily after one of those Met Galas she keeps comparing things to

I think Gal Gadot’s last name is more like “Gadought” (not really like that) than like in Waiting for Godot, but whatever Cheryl wants

God bless jingle-jangle: my man hooked him up!!!

Veronica’s layered floral dress is like what my ten-year-old self being dressed by my mom for church wished one day I would be cool enough to wear. I don’t go to church now, but I still hope one day I will be cool enough to wear it

Cheryl’s sheaths: Cheryl’s art deco dress is really good too

Melody is in a GREAT ruffly red jumpsuit

Kevin in like, Don’t mind if I do!

Melody is like DON’T MIND IF I DO

Reggie and Josie are making out when they’re high, because they’re contractually obligated as the two most beautiful people in the room

Betty is miserable, like a teacher chaperoning a dance where the kids are allowed to grind

Cheryl’s hair: Cheryl whips her hair around like Beyoncé in the video for “Baby Boy” and I had to punch another window

it took me a second to remember that Betty had to alienate Veronica and that that was why she was suddenly talking to her like Drunk Alice and that it wasn’t just Pissed Betty

Betty’s read is pretty good! exactly what Veronica is afraid of: that she has been performing as a good girl this whole time. or that people only think she is performing it. “You’ll always be a bad person.” but Veronica is very measured for someone a little drunk and high! (are you “high” if you’re on jingle-jangle?) she calmly tells Betty to leave. BECAUSE SHE IS A GOOD PERSON

damn this episode is so low-lit. like, Hannibal dark. I can barely fucking see Jughead in this trailer. Toni is half-lit by the mysterious blue trailer park light and is beautiful, so we can see her laced-up jeans

Jughead doubts it: Jughead has a very Jugheadian response to the Gauntlet: “It’s whatever.”

Toni wants to be clear that if Jughead joins this gang, everyone else will abandon him. Jughead is like...This one time...I choose not to believe it...

Summer + Blair = Veronica: Veronica still thinks Betty is her best friend and that something weird just happened that she will investigate later. Veronica is so fucking LEVEL-HEADED

Veronica unfortunately has to engage in the dance of “Mmmm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression…” when Nick just like strokes her thigh, like she isn’t clearly happily with Archie or just a person who may not want a thigh-stroking right this minute

Nick calls Archie a “hayseed yokel”

good slap! GOOD SLAP, ZACH

Betty dragged herself out to this, the world’s most suspect bus stop, in a staging not even Alfred Hitchcock would have dared pitch to Grace Kelly

Lili Reinhart does something shockingly good every episode, but Betty’s breakdown, especially her shudder-shiver breath when her phone rings, is so far beyond what the CW deserves

when BH is like “JUGHEAD,” and Betty is like “[gasp] NO,” and I’m like “I’M OUT OF WINDOWS”

...you know what the greatest trope of all time is?

—no. the greatest trope of all time is Make Him Think You Don’t Love Him. solidly, confidently, signed, sealed, delivered, the greatest, most delicious, stupidly painful thing one character can do to another. it combines SO MUCH lurid goodness: two people who, apparently, shouldn’t be together; desperate heroic measures; lack of communication—for safety reasons!; selflessness; self-torture; “I DON’T UNDERSTAND”; BRUTAL WORDS; hitting him where you know it hurts; the heartbreaker is always a GREAT actor suddenly; turning the corner after going through with it and weeping abjectly; DANGER AVOIDED BUT SOMETHING EVEN WORSE HAPPENING!!! just like—just like in Moulin Rouge! like in Twilight for god’s sake! you loved that part!

I do like how BH has no particular objection to Jughead as his own person but rather just to his father and his circumstances. Jughead’s a good kid, says BH

Archie’s Captain America Henley is back and better than ever

who is Archie calling? endless possibilities, but I hope Veronica

Archie gets EVEN MORE little moments of greatness seeing Betty spiral (is she spiralling?) and being like, Betty, this is not sustainable: “How are you going to put yourself through that?” I know there are like 12 Archies on this show, but this is one of the sweet ones

I don’t even know if it’s totally clear that Betty is telling him to “break up” with Jughead inasmuch as just keep him away from her for a couple days or so. is it possible Betty just wants Archie to be like, “Something’s happening but we have it under control, so stop coming to Pop’s”? how much credit am I giving these two?

Archie > Dawson: Archie has never been wiser than with “You HOPE we can.” and the look he gives her? devastatingly fleeting sagacity. he knows Jughead is Soft Grudge Boy

Betty knows what she’s doing using a sports metaphor on Archie’s conscience

okay what the fuck does “SoDale” mean. South Riverdale?

Best costume bit: Hermione’s white cutout dress and top knot are Academy-worthy

Veronica’s “charm offensive”

OH YEAH, FRED’S STILL THERE

ooooh Hal certainly stepped up with Alice gone, did he not?

when Alice strides in in the Outfit, there are some prop-girls at the tent entrance in denim skirts and hard hats, like as pretend construction workers

Mädchen Amick, MÄDCHEN AMICK: Alice’s, I don’t know what to call it, flowy snakeskin cape-suit is either something she had stashed or something she bought on Amazon Prime that morning. is this what FP meant when he said she didn’t dress like the southside anymore? is this the other option, besides flannel? ...Toni? JUG?

the eyebrow? “Shove it, Hal”? Cheryl walks in too late, if you ask me

is Nick’s bowtie like .5% too big?

Veronica is in the midst of deciding whether or not to say “I DON’T GIVE A SHIT” when she sees her parents talking to Nick’s parents and feels the pull of her father telling her she was a real part of Lodge Industries now

poor fucking lonely Cheryl. Cheryl is ALONE. Cheryl looks good!

ARCHIE TAKES A TURN in this scene from the upcoming Hostel III: My Favorite Characters. was I ready for the greatest moment in the history of television Wednesday night? I was not. nothing else measures up: “The hardest thing to do in this world is to—” —who? “Cruciatus in crucem” what? who shot JR? I don’t even care. Jughead thought Archie was here to save him. don’t talk to me

The female gaze: Jughead’s tank top is back, because on top of everything else he should be physically vulnerable (direct quote from Sweet Pea)

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: Jughead SO GENTLY puts his hands on Archie’s shoulders to try and communicate by Morse code how urgently Archie needs to leave

Archie was going along with Betty’s instructions up until Sweet Pea & the Gang strolled up, and then it turned into him breaking up with Jughead for Betty and breaking up with Jughead for Archie, because Archie explodes when he’s angry and he just got like really angry

“thugs” is a terrible thing to say, when Archie obviously means “like-minded young men who want to protect their clan, as I do my own, like I did that one time”

the wrongness of calling Reggie and Dilton Jughead’s friends is blatant, but implying that Veronica got attacked is either Archie being a garbled storyteller or Archie rounding up to make Jughead’s crime, or whatever, even worse, as if Jughead is being a bad friend. Jughead is practically THE BEST FRIEND ON THIS SHOW

Jughead (I just took my glasses off, for a visual of the unplumbable depths of my emotion) asking Archie if Archie came to warn him that the Serpents are dangerous, because Archie loves him, is so motherfucking sad, it’s sadder than like, like anything else, it’s sadder than the end of Homeward Bound when you’re eight and you think Shadow fucking died in that trainyard (before he comes back; spoilers for Homeward Bound: the Incredible Journey)

Archie’s follow-up is that Betty doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and in fact hasn’t wanted to be with him for a while, which, on top of everything else!, is mortifying to a certain kind of person, that someone you enjoy being with has been rolling their eyes at you behind your back

Gay.: okay Sweet Pea looking back at Fangs, who’s like, Mhmmm, when Archie’s doing his thing, is really good

Sweet Pea is really good throughout! he’s standing there but he doesn’t step in, even at the “dark side” stuff. he’s kind of minding his own business!

Jughead is apparently so wretched about himself that the incongruity of this attack isn’t even a blip on his radar. he’s not like, Archie, respectfully, this is coming out of nowhere. Archie, what? What the hell? instead he’s like, The day has come

Archie’s pornographic cruelty here (which is precisely what Betty told him NOT TO DO) is to include the “agonizing over it” detail, which is a REALLY GOOD detail, and then his AMAZING bluff about “CALL HER.”

Jughead’s internal certainty about Betty’s unimpeachable conduct starts to crack

“She saw where you were headed. We all did.”: it’s not enough that Betty, the creature he loves most in all the world, thinks he’s trash and wants him gone, but it’s all of us, and Jughead buys it because he’s conditioned to expect that everyone will tolerate him up until the point they realize he’s trash and want him gone, as the Powers That Be, like he put it, keep telling him over and over and over (his mother, his father, Reggie, Sheriff Keller, Fred Andrews, the Rockland County school system, Alice, Sweet Pea, Toni, Archie)

Archie knows he might’ve put a toe over the line (obliterated it?) when Jughead looks like he’s about to cry, and Jughead tells him he got it and he just quietly says “Yeah,” and walks away, through the Serpents, who leave him alone

I honestly don’t know what Sweet Pea was about to say before Jughead cut him off! something bracing? he was definitely AT LEAST going to be neutral. there’s no “I told you so,” which is good otherwise Jughead might’ve Gauntleted himself. he changes the subject!

“I’m choosing to blame Betty’s Britney-esque meltdown.”

Cheryl isn’t fucking around with baby sips

GOD!!!!!!! I hope Lodge Industries razing the entire southside BRINGS BACK how it destroyed Jughead’s drive-in and FINALLY MAKES JUGHEAD AND VERONICA YELL AT EACH OTHER

The 2001 Josie and the Pussycats movie was a masterpiece: the Pussycats and Veronica looks incredible (the corset-like back of Veronica’s dress?) and perform the only song from Rent that I like!

Fwoopy hair is the best hair: VALERIE

Riverdale brings back one of their very good things: somebody cheerfully singing over top the visual of something horrible happening

Please protect Betty: Betty unrestrainedly sobbing in her windowsill while Jug cracks his neck (something he does now) in CrossFit mobility training for running the gauntlet is better than anything Alice predicted would happen when they started dating

Archie deserves to sit alone at Pop’s counter for a little while

Josie is so...fit. she’s tiny and she’s all muscle

okay LOVED Jughead’s smoky silhouette before he starts walking, loved

Cheryl’s sparkly boots???

Veronica and Josie take note of Nick leading Cheryl away IMMEDIATELY, because as you recall Veronica is a feminist superhero and senses when sketch is afoot

the gauntlet was good until it was GREAT. YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT:

Sexy, aesthetic Southside: Sweet Pea probably breaks Jughead’s fucking cheekbone with that. Jughead doesn’t really have cheekbones, but he has cheek bones and it’s probably fucking broken, and it was, IT WAS EXACTLY the kind of sexy, bloody, homoerotic standoff I crave. that lighting? Sweet Pea’s FACE? Jughead standing there with his shoulders back, daring him to go harder? Jughead is not having a good time, but I’m having a great time. I fucking love the Serpents

the real gauntlet looks like it would be lying on the floor while Josie and the Pussycats kick the shit out of you

Sweet Pea and Toni and the Daddy are SO PROUD OF JUGHEAD!!! SO AM I!!!!!

it’s possible Betty seriously no longer cares if she lives or dies, is the only explanation for her going to an “abandoned house on the edge of Fox Forest” by her own damn self

I will say the wallpaper in this house is more or less the same as in Betty’s bedroom, and that is a very Betty mirror

Archie could literally kill someone tonight, so it’s probably for the best he didn’t make the leap the Nick went back to HIS HOTEL ROOM

Josie keeps slightly fixing the warm orange knit over Cheryl’s legs

“It’s not your fault, Veronica.”

Jughead got the tiniest little Serpent tattoo, because he is just a child

I LOVE Toni’s headband wrap

Every triangle has three corners, every triangle has three sides: is it kind of tacky for Toni to kiss him right now? yes. is it BAD? no. he’s developing another layer of trauma as we speak, but he’s single. somebody wants him!

OOOOOOOOHHHH BETTY!!!!!!!

NEXT WEEK: Cheryl in round sunglasses

[jackyinzerplaysfallout]

The Truth Shall Set You Free

This is a reaction post to the question: “How would a companion react to finding out that they were a Synth copy of the Sole Survivor?”

This one is focused on Piper Wright. More may follow.

Background: Before deciding to release his surviving parent from Vault 111, Father had decided to use the DNA profile from the Vault-Tec database to have a Synth copy made of Nate/Nora to run simulated situations with Synth Shawn. This was partially to see how a Synth “family” would function, and although he won’t admit it, partially to get a glimpse at how life with his parent might have been.

Due to the instability of Synth Shawn, the program was a failure.

The Institute decided to have the Nate/Nora Synth’s memory wiped and put them in the Wasteland under a new identity to try to better understand the movements of runaway Synths that have had a memory wipe. With the original safe in cryo, There was no need to do reconstructive surgery.

The Synth woke up on the surface one day believing they were…

Piper Wright: The story about Piper’s father was true, to a point. Except the man that Piper remembered as her father died childless, and the raiders did raid the settlement, leaving no survivors.

When the Synth calling herself Piper Wright found an abandoned young girl on her travels, the mother instincts programed from Nora surfaced. She adopted little Nat as her own sister.

Years later: “DANNY, YOU OPEN THIS DOOR…..RIGHT NOW!” Piper banged her fist against the wall beside the intercom, then sighed. She briefly wondered if she could make it to Goodneighbor before it got dark. She wasn’t Mayor Hancock’s favorite person, but the ghoul never denied someone in need. She was about to start out when she caught a flash of bright blue out of the corner of her eye.

The vault dweller approaching the massive gate to Diamond City was wearing leather armor over her vault suit and an assault gas mask that covered her face and hair.

When she saw the woman in the red leather trench coat, the vault dweller appeared to freeze in confusion, and Piper thought for certain the woman was going to bolt in fear before she finally got her to finally come close.

The Vault Dweller, Nora, agreed to the interview, but refused to take her mask off. This annoyed Piper because those gas masks tended to muffle the wearer’s voice.

After the interview, Piper didn’t hear anything more from the masked Vault Dweller until after Nick Valentine returned from Skinny Malone’s hideout. The Synth detective sent word for Piper to meet him at his office. When she arrived, the first thing she noticed was how unnerved Ellie, Nick’s secretary, was and how she refused to make eye contact with the reporter.

“Piper. Please sit down.” Said Nick, giving Piper the hard stare usually reserved for suspects. “Nick…..What’s going on here? You two are starting to freak me out big time.” said Piper,

Nick paused, considering his words carefully. “We’ve known each other a long time now, kid. And I feel like in that time we’ve had a mutual trust, even though I’m…well… a Synth.”

Piper softened a bit “Nicky, of course! I trust you with my life…hell, I trust you with my baby sister’s life. What’s this all about?”

The old Synth gestured to a case file on the desk beside him. “I was rescued by the Sole Survivor of Vault 111. The same woman you interviewed some months ago. It seems the Institute had a special interest in her. Not only did they steal her son, but it seems they made a Synth of her too…and it’s been walking around the Commonwealth long before she was thawed out.”

“That’s incredible, but why would the Institute make a copy of someone locked in cryo?” Piper asked, momentarily forgetting about Nick and Ellie’s odd behavior.

“We were hoping you could tell us,” replied Nick evenly.

“Wait…. Me? But….How would I know?!” she asked in confusion, looking between her two friends.

“She really doesn’t know, does she?” Asked a voice from behind the partition closing off the sleeping quarters from the rest of the office.

Piper’s eyes flew wide at the sound of the familiar sounding voice. She stood up, whirled around, and found herself staring into her own hazel green eyes.

The Vault Dweller stood before her, wearing her face, her hair… a perfect replica; right down to the splay of freckles across her cheeks. She didn’t realize she had been backing away from her doppelganger until she crashed into the file cabinets behind her. Piper quickly drew her 10mm pistol and aimed it at the blue suited imposter.

“JESUS, NICK!!! HOW COULD YOU?! You can try to replace me, but I’m not going without a fight.” Piper spat angrily.

Nick quickly moved between Piper and Nora, hands raised. “No one is replacing you…. She’s HUMAN, Piper… We went to Doctor Amari at the Memory Den and plugged her into a lounger. Her brain scan read human.”

Piper’s face drained of color and she slowly lowered her weapon as the implication of Nick’s words sank in. She buried her face in her hands and slowly sank to the floor.

“We found a trader who used to frequent the settlement you claim to have come from…“ Nick said gently. “Constable Wright never had any children… and the settlement WAS wiped out by raiders.”

“That’s impossible…” Piper sobbed through her hands. “I remember everything….”

“Piper…” Nick put a hand gently on her shoulder. “Who is Nat? Who is she really?”

“I didn’t kill her parents and steal her, if that’s what you’re implying.” Piper looked up at Nick, her eyes puffy from crying and burning with indignation. ”It’s the only lie I ever told you, Nick. I found her hidden in the remains of a caravan that had been hit by gouls. I just couldn’t leave her behind… so I told everyone she was my sister…”

Ellie walked over and knelt beside the reporter, offering a hug and a clean bandana.

“What? You’re not afraid of me now?” She said to Ellie with a slight edge to her voice.

“Oh Piper…. I’ve been friends with Nick far too long to be afraid of a synth…. And I’ve known you too long to be afraid of you…. But…you gotta understand… We didn’t know how you would react to seeing Nora… We didn’t know if it would trigger some command or….” Ellie trailed off, looking up to Nick and Nora.

Nora walked over and extended a hand to her Synth double. Piper momentarily flinched away and glared distrustfully at her twin before sighing and accepting help up off the floor.

“Now what happens?” Piper asked shakily as she was helped to a chair.

Nora looked at the three of them in turn and said, “As far as I’m concerned, this changes nothing. You are still the same passionate, caring person who took in an abandoned little girl and raised her as your own sister. You’re the same person that cares for this city and fights for truth. You may have started as a copy of me, but you are still your own person. Everything that makes you Piper Wright is yours alone. No one in this town needs to know if you don’t want them to. We can work it out.”

Piper looked down at her hands in her lap for a long time, considering her situation. “I’d rather hear an ugly truth than a pretty lie… but I have Nat to think about. I’ll have to figure that out eventually… in the meantime, you remember my offer to go with you?”

“Yeeeaaah?” Nora replied hesitantly.

“Well, Blue, You don’t have a choice now. The Institute has some explaining to do, and I’m not gonna rest until we both get the answers we need.”

[passportrequired]

Maybe I'll Go. Maybe I'll Stay: A French Road Trip

Our first night, we found ourselves so deep in conversation in a stranger’s living room in St. Tropez that we forgot to listen to J. Cole rap, “Roll up and smoke my sins away /
I’d like to go to St. Tropez / Maybe I’ll go, maybe I’ll stay
/ Maybe I’ll stay.” We spoke about how just yesterday there was a need for clocks, a need to be places on time, but how today, since landing in Milan and taking on the roads that led us to that living room, time made no sense. Then we reflected on the day and smiled at the adventure to come. This road trip would not have been possible if we did not get our car loan. Anybody in need of a car can easily get a quote with this calculator, make sure to check it out and choose your car from a wide variety of choices.

The ten-hour journey that would have been five hours had France not been so beautiful, and had our eyes not lit up when we emerged from the tunnel and saw Menton, a small town on the French Riviera that winked at the four of us, calling us closer. I remembered the conversation between Robert and Francesca in The Bridges of Madison County:

ROBERT Well, from Italy to Iowa — that’s a story! (Francesca smiles) Whereabouts in Italy?FRANCESCA Small town on the Eastern side no one’s ever heard of called Bari.

ROBERT Oh yeah, Bari. I’ve been there.

FRANCESCA (surprised) No, really?

ROBERT Oh, yeah. Actually, I had an assignment in Greece and I had to go through Bari to get the boat at Brindisi. But it looked so pretty I got off and stayed for a few days. Breathtaking country.

FRANCESCA You just… got off the train because it looked pretty?

We got off the highway because it looked pretty. Because I would have hated myself had I not at least smiled at a stranger or eaten a crepe in this beautiful town. We skipped the crepe, stuck our toes in the Mediterranean, and stumbled into a Thai restaurant with six seats and prices we loved. It was decent enough food to keep us there talking about spontaneity and the man with whom we’d just shared a bottle of Get 31 Mint Liqueur on the beach while his girlfriend snapped photos. Yesterday, Julia was a lawyer, and today she’s a wanderer, drinking behind strangers along the Mediterranean coastline, watching the sunset under the earth, all because the city looked pretty. I loved these Luxury North Devon holiday cottage rentals

We bonded over James Vincent McMorrow, Janis Joplin and why Michelle refuses to use white lighters until after her 27th birthday. When I told the lady at the car rental in the Flex Fleet agency there would be four grown people in the car, she dropped her head in shame as she handed me the keys to the Fiat 500, apologizing for not having anything larger. This car brought us closer. We made it work with Victor in the passenger seat, Julia behind him, Michelle behind me, her knees in my back, massaging me through the beautiful parts of the continent.

Monte-Carlo, Monaco sat still under what could have been a haze or what could have been my eyes glossing over. In my mind were all the titles I’d use for whatever piece of writing would come from that stillness. “From my father’s Monte Carlo to my own,” I kept repeating, thinking of how ashamed I was when he’d drop my brother and me off at school. Undoubtedly, this was the most beautiful city I think I will ever see. I didn’t want many photos and decided against poetry. I’d just tell people about this place, and finish with, “you just have to see it yourself.”

I drove along the road while the others slept, admiring all the beauty following Monaco: Nice, Antibes, and Cannes. I wanted to holler when we came across Villefranche-Sur-Mer, thinking about An Affair to Remember when Nickie Ferrante took Terry McKay to meet his grandmother Janou. My passengers wouldn’t have understood.

We reached St. Tropez in darkness, so the artistry, charm, and grace it showed us waited until morning. We used the night to walk through dimly lit alleys suitable for lovers, fighters, and boys and girls who meet in bars and just need a few moments of privacy. We danced at Chez Maggy on Rue Sibille and ate burgers, crepes, waffles, and fries at a kiosk not much farther. The walk back to the car was breezy, and we tried making out the shapes across whatever body of water was in front of us; mountains or high houses or low clouds. We needed sleep.

We woke, dressed and moved out of the stranger’s home. We played on the beach in the sand with the cool breeze and cold water. The things from the night before, across the water, were mountains and cliffs, and we loved them all. I pretended to know Yoga poses and Victor meditated. Michelle and Julia wandered the beach, taking photos of their toes buried in the sand and their hair blowing in the wind. We reunited and sat silently long enough to finally listen to J. Cole’s St. Tropez, and like him, we had a decision to make: do we go, or do we stay? Having to answer to no one for days, the decision was ours. We chose to go, to explore more of the country. Forward to Lyon.

Families sat out along the road eating cheeses and breads and drinking wines. We bought wine and toasted to this exciting life. We toasted to new friendships in new countries and a car strong enough for a full trunk and us.

Dinner in Lyon was at McDonald’s, across from a table of the first English speakers with American accents we’d seen in a while. Three men, Matt, Bryan, and John, from California cycling their way through Europe, and us, talking about the strange things about America, being out in the world, and the beautiful things we’ve seen by car and by bike in this country, having almost the same road plan, so When traveling to our country you may want to rent a dirt bike Sosua and have the most fun in your life!  We laughed, shared tips and travel hacks, extended invitations to meet up in the Netherlands, and parted ways. It was a serendipitous time.

We made our way back to our new apartment, drank wine, and shared thoughts parallel to the words of Oriah Mountain Dreamer, “It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.” Jobs, like time, did not exist. We were doing the heart work, and it felt good.

We woke the next morning, walked through the Grand Parc de Miribel-Jonage, getting lost and relaxing in the bushes. We lunched next to the Saone River before crossing it on the Gateway College bridge to see the street art and compete with children on the playground who wanted to see if we’d get stuck on slide or actually make it all the way through, and caught up with strangers who were protesting police brutality in France and subsequently the world. Then we left for Paris.

Paris was Paris as it will always be; ravishing, brilliant, remarkable, and fine. Paris drained us.

Any additional karma we needed to gain before continuing our trip through Europe was obtained at a gas station just outside of Geneva, Switzerland. A family in a van, out of gas, sitting at the pump, where they’d been for six hours, waiting on someone to come along, willing to help, asked if I could. The father explained how countless others had come, but refused to help him. He had cash, but his card was not working. Believing most people in the world are good, I helped. “Are you going to Milan or near there,” he asked. “Yes,” I replied. “Do you need to follow me?” He was happy.

The four hours we were able to spend in Milan before our flight to Amsterdam were spent eating pasta, pizza, gelato, and watching the rain fall on the fashionable Italians with soft accents and hearty laughs.

We dropped off our Fiat 500, laughed at the clerk asking, “How did you all fit,” and made our way to our terminal to start our next adventure. France owes us nothing.

And should you find yourself driving through, pull over every time you see something pretty.

Maybe I’ll Go. Maybe I’ll Stay: A French Road Trip was originally published on Passport Required