#i recently re-found one of my favourite videos of friends shouting at each other

[kyun-toast]

[MONSTA X] Changkyun - Happy Without Me

word count: 3.8k warnings: alcohol, suggestions of smoking, swearing, suggestions of sex summary: I don't think about you sometimes 'Cause I think about you all the time a/n: I’ve been listening to the All About Luv album a lot recently and Happy Without Me hit a little different the other day. I hope you don’t notice how I slacked off near the end 💜

“Yerim what are you wearing for tonight? I wanna look cute but not like ‘I’ve put effort in’ kinda cute, you know? Like I’m always this cute.”

Yerim laughed as she replied, “You’d look hot wearing a bin bag so shut up and let me know what drinks you want. It’s ‘bring your own booze’ so I was gonna run to the store for extra before we go.”

“Umm, vodka? Tequila? Maybe rum? I’m getting smashed tonight and you’re all going to carry me home, just letting you know.�� Soobin winked and blew kisses at the both of you with a coy smile on her face, as some form of ‘thank you in advance’ for the troubles that you would be going through later that night. As much pain she put the both of you through, it was hard not to love her.

“Yeah, you say that as if that’s not what happens every week, you psycho.”

You smiled from the comfort of your sofa as you witnessed the two of your best friends bicker. You were never really one for parties, but you decided to let yourself go after an unfortunate night maybe five? six months ago. You thought that you could vent your frustrations into your notes app and be done with it, but your friends took pity and introduced you to another option. One where you could numb your mind with alcohol and crashing bass, and you figured that it was somewhat more enjoyable than cry-writing shitty poetry on a Friday night. Notes app therapy was now a thing of the past.

Changkyun had become such an integral part of your life that you couldn’t help yourself from unconsciously replaying memories that you had attempted to bury. A simple look at the most irrelevant objects would have him running through your mind before you could even stop yourself. Oh, we bought this mug together. You were surprised he hadn’t taken it with him when he left. It was his favourite mug to drink whiskey out of. Speaking of whiskey, you needed a drink. It had only taken days for him to make himself at home at the forefront of your thoughts but how long was it going to take to rid of him?

As much as you tried to keep those thoughts at bay, no amount of alcohol could ever stop them from crashing back over you whenever you saw that little smiley face appear at the top of your Instagram feed.

imnameim. When had he posted a story? You hadn’t seen the pink circle earlier. Would it be too early to look at it now? You couldn’t risk tapping on it only to see that it had been posted 12 seconds ago, just like you had done the other day. And the day before. And the day before that. Should you just make a burner account? No, that’s too far, we’re not going there today, bitch... Maybe tomorrow.

You hated how much power that tattoo face held over you, looking straight into your eyes - almost mockingly. Oh, did I look like a smiley face to you six months ago? Well, I’m a sad face now and that’s all you’re ever going to see.

“Y/N! Hey! You’re going to stare a hole into your phone.” Soobin clapped in your face, trying to get your attention. You looked up, softening your expression to meet Yerim’s eyes.

“Soobin was asking what you’re going to wear tonight.” Yerim said.

“I don’t know, probably that top I got yesterday?” you shrugged, unbothered by your friends’ question. You weren’t going to parties to impress anyone; you were going to drink the last of your braincells away.

“Y/N, ‘that top’ you got yesterday is a free t-shirt you got from the Domino’s pop-up stall on campus. I’m not letting you do this again.” Yerim dead panned.

“OK and...?” You met both of their concerned faces only to have them grab each of your arms.

“Come on. Up. That’s it.” You made unintelligible noises as they dragged you up off the sofa and into your closet. The thoughts about Changkyun’s story were left on the sofa as your mind was now filling with an excited buzz. “You act like you hate this, but I know you love getting trashed with us, Y/N.” Yerim laughed and you knew it too.

-

Changkyun lay in Jae-in’s bed, with her nestled in his chest as he looked up at the ceiling and sighed. Being careful not to wake her, he slowly squeezed his arm out from under her head to lay on his stomach to scroll through Instagram.

He had posted a story over an hour ago, half hoping that you’d see it – a cover of Dean’s Instagram. How ironic.

He shook his head at how pathetic his efforts seemed, whispering to himself, “What the hell are you doing?” He refreshed his feed for the last time to see that you had posted a video of the three of you dancing to a song in your walk-in closet. Probably drunk. Upon re-watching the video on loop for the third time, he concluded that you were most definitely drunk.

Seeing you having fun like this had him torn between being happy for you, moving on with your life and probably on to other men too. Being attractive plus the endless number of parties you went to now was just the perfect recipe. You were bound to have found someone.

And this is where the hatred washed over him. He despised it. Hated seeing you have fun without him, moving on as if he had never existed. Was it that easy for you to just forget? It seemed unfair that he was still struggling to keep you off his mind while you were out having the time of your life, letting your followers know of that fact too.

Deep down, he knew that he wasn’t happy for you at all. He was just trying to kid himself into thinking that he was. Be mature and everything. That was what both of you had agreed to be when your relationship came to an end. After days of what could probably be called a verbal equivalent of a nuclear war, the two of you had given up.

Crying, shouting, complete silence, you had done it all and there was no end in sight. On day three of radio silence, you felt as if you could do without speaking to Changkyun at all. When you brought it up, he admitted he felt the same. Exhaustion making both of you devoid of any emotion, you agreed to disagree and act like the fight had never happened. You were tired and wanted nothing more to do with it. Or each other. Thinking of yourselves as somewhat grown, you decided to be civil since you were in the same circle of friends, not wanting to burden them with any of your problems.

With so many things left unsaid and ties still loose, there was no way that you could just cut clean. But you never so much as bumped into each other since.

You hadn’t blocked each other though, as you both felt that it was some sign of weakness. Yeah, I’m tough enough to keep them on my socials. They don’t bother me. Not at all. But in the small hours of the morning, you were on each other’s profiles, hoping for a glimpse of what they were up to. Wondering if he had finished that song he was working on. If you were eating well. If he was really seeing Jae-in seriously. If you were well and truly happy.

“Hey, how are you doing?”

Y/N’s doing just fine for themselves, everyone can see that.

“Did you finish that essay?”

No, that’s too random.

“I think about you all the time.”

Shut up Changkyun.

Though you had both agreed to be ‘friends’, there was no easy way in going about messaging one another when you had fought so explosively. Changkyun also felt that he had missed the right timeframe for him to salvage whatever there was left of the relationship. Whether it be platonic or romantic. No matter how much he wanted to message you, his pride falsely masked as maturity stopped him from ever doing more than wish for you to call him and say that everything was going to be ok. That you can start over.

“Do you wanna go to Minhyuk’s house party?” Jae-in’s voice was heavy with sleep, squinting her eyes at the bright screen of her phone. Changkyun was startled from his thoughts, not realising that she had been woken up by a text.

“House party…?” Changkyun was dubious.

“It’s ok if you don’t want to, it’s just that we don’t ever do anything besides fuck, and I thought we could do with a change of scenery.”

“I mean yeah it’s just that we’ve never hung out with other people before. Like together.”

He had met Jae-in at a bar a few months ago. Holed up in his studio after the breakup, Changkyun got to channelling his anger into working on his music until his course mate Minhyuk persuaded him out for drinks. Minhyuk had flirted with the girls from the table over to get them to join in on the pity party. Jae-in had seated herself next to Changkyun and a few drinks later, they had quickly bonded over their childhood obsession with Death Note to which she followed up with an invitation to watch it at her place. Who was Kyun to reject? With all this pent-up energy to spare, music wasn’t quite cutting it.  

“I doubt anyone will care that we arrived together.” Jae-in shrugged. “Let’s go.”

-

“Yeah, I invited Jae-in and I think Changkyun might come with her too.” Minhyuk stated nonchalantly over the phone. You choked on your wine and thanked God that the music in your room was loud enough to cover the unnatural sound you had just made. “Y/N, is that ok? I should have asked you befo-”

“No, I don’t care.” You replied a little too quickly, “It’s been months and we broke up on good terms anyway, remember?”

“MINNIE! I MISS YOU!” Soobin drunkenly shouted across the room as Yerim held her back from throwing herself at the phone.

“I MISS YOUR FACE TOO, BINNIE! I’LL SEE YOU LATER!” Minhyuk chuckled as he didn’t hesitate to match her volume through the phone.

“Ugh, you two make me sick”, Yerim rolled her eyes, “You literally saw each other this morning. Just get together already.”

As Soobin and Minhyuk continued to chat, engulfed in their own little world, you reached to grab another drink. If Minhyuk’s predictions were right, you were going to need something stronger than wine to get you through the night.

-

Stepping into Minhyuk’s apartment, Changkyun could feel the bass rumble underneath his feet already.

“Hey! You made it! I thought you guys weren’t going to come, it’s so late! But we have drinks and snacks in the kitchen. Oh, and Jae-in, the bathrooms just through the hallway on the right…” Minhyuk’s voice trailed off into the loud music. Changkyun followed behind Jae-in as his friend gave the newcomer a guided tour of his place.

Though he was familiar with the apartment, it felt a little weird for him to walk through it with someone else by his side. A pack of cards strewn over the floor jogged his memory back to a particularly warm night in June. With the sun just beginning to rise, you both stood below Minhyuk’s balcony at 4am. You shouted,

“HEY MINHYUK, WE’RE GOING TO PLAY UNO AT YOUR PLACE, D’YOU WANNA JOIN?”

“THOUGHT WE’D ASK IN CASE YOU’D FEEL LEFT OUT.” Changkyun added. You both snickered as Minhyuk opened his window to shout back at you, regretting that he had ever given you two the spare keys to his apartment.

“ARE YOU REALLY INVITING ME TO PLAY CARDS MY OWN HOUSE RIGHT NOW?!” Birds fluttered away startled, as a neighbouring window flashed on a light in annoyance. Your shouting combined could never top the sheer volume of Minhyuk’s voice. Changkyun grabbed your hand as you ran into the building laughing before the neighbour could join in on the screaming match.

With classes finished for the year, you had what felt like an infinite amount of time on your hands. Kyun smiled to himself as he was reminded of those summer nights that he had spent with you. Stargazing, pillow talking, daydreaming on repeat.

“Yeah, so you can get to the outdoor space through the living room but I’m giving you special access to my little balcony through my room because you’re uh, Changkyun’s friend.” Minhyuk grinned as he ended his tour.

Upon entering the actual party in the lounge, Changkyun stopped in his tracks at the sight of you on the other side of the room. For a moment, the smoke in the room seemed to clear as his eyes trained on you throw your head back in laughter at Yerim’s animated storytelling. Hearing your voice so crystal clear made his heart swell with something that he couldn’t quite put into words. Half a year had passed since he had last seen you, sat broken on the floor of your apartment, explaining that it would be best to part ways. You had looked so drained of emotion then; it was such a stark contrast to what he was seeing now. He stood frozen, heart beating hard against his chest like a hammer.

“Kyun! Why are you so late?” Wonho, another friend of Kyun’s appeared out of nowhere with a bottle of tequila in his hand. “You gotta catch up on the drinks now, come on, open your mouth.” Wonho went to grab his face with one hand as he proceeded to try and pour some alcohol into his mouth jokingly. Changkyun chuckled as he play-fought with Wonho only to stop midway when he noticed Jae-in smiling at the sight.

“Oh, this is my friend Jae-in.” Kyun straightened up and brushed off his clothes.

Wonho went to shake her hand as Minhyuk snuck up behind him.

"Yeah, friend.” He giggled as he raised his brows suggestively and left as quickly as he appeared shouting, “Binnie! Where are you? We gotta go make those s’mores you wanted!”

Changkyun rolled his eyes and smiled as he guided Jae-in to the nearest table of drinks and set to introducing her to the rest of his friends, hoping that you wouldn’t notice him.

-

At this point, the three of you were beyond gone. Soobin had already passed out with a s’more in her hand as Minhyuk hauled her over his shoulder to put her to sleep in the guest room.

“And she.. she was telling me to sythensi.. she was telling me thynsenise, no, synsi.. she wanted me to synthesise, there we go, snythi…” Yerim tripped over words, dead set on getting her pronunciation right while Hyungwon sat and nodded with his signature painful smile on his face. She was determined, hand on his shoulder with a grip that let him know he wasn’t going anywhere until she had finished her story.

As for you? You were sat next to Yerim, a vacant smile on your face as you struggled to keep your eyes open. Day drinking followed up with a house party in the evening really wasn’t the best idea for the lightweights that you are but there you were, listening to your friend repeat the same sentence over and over again. An urgent voice in your head piped up, letting you know that you should probably go for a breath of fresh air.

“Yerim, hey, Yerim, I’m.. going for some air… stay with Hyungwon okay? Hyungwon, call me if anything happens?” You stood up, struggling to find your balance and teetered across the room to get to Minhyuk’s balcony.

The thing about you is that you are one of those blessed people that can sober up as quickly as they get smashed. You felt refreshed, taking in a deep breath as if to cleanse your alcohol ridden bloodstreams with the cool evening air. Your head still spun a little but as long as you kept your eyes anchored on the moon, you’d be fine in no time.

As much as your body needed a break from the party, it wasn’t the greatest timing for your mental state. Once you had assumed that Changkyun wasn’t coming to the party, you let go of the anxiety holding you back from enjoying yourself. You had been overstimulated from the alcohol, music, and people, not giving yourself a chance to think about anything else. But once those factors were gone, it was just you, alone with your drunken thoughts on a balcony looking up at the moon. And just like that, those suppressed memories regarding a certain boy couldn’t help but unpack themselves from your unconscious. Oh man, this was going to be such a good cry.

-

Changkyun was beginning to feel a little too tipsy for his liking. Though he was having a great time, it felt as if he wasn’t entirely present at the scene, like he was watching and laughing along through a TV screen. He slipped away from the kitchen island to get a breather.

“Oh shit, sorry, I didn’t realise anyone was here.” He apologised, going to close the door of Minhyuk’s balcony to a figure hunched over the railing. You looked up from your hands at him and tried to focus on the blurry face.

His movements faltered when your eyes met, door still open. Just one look at you was enough for that knock back into reality Changkyun had needed. God were you a sight for sore eyes. He drank up the way your cheeks and nose were flushed pink, how your eyes were glossy in the moonlight, eyelashes thick with tears, and the way the softly coloured city lights behind you framed your face. With the night air stained with your perfume and the sounds of muted traffic perfecting the scene, he had never felt so in the present until now. He wanted this moment to last a lifetime.

“Changkyun?” You replied, as you wiped your eyes clear of the tears blurring your vision. You could tell that voice apart anywhere, you only questioned in the slight chance that you were just hallucinating, going insane.

“Are you ok? I can leave if you want, I-” He began hurriedly, knowing that you hated having anyone see you cry.

“I’m fine.” You sniffed.

“Bad day?” He asked softly, bringing himself to stand next to you, looking over at the cityscape.

“Yeah, something like that.” You replied, letting out a small laugh as you wiped the last of the tears from your face. 

Tension hung so thick in the air you could feel it weigh down on your shoulders. Changkyun hated that you, the person he had once shared the deepest parts of his mind with, was someone he was now so uncomfortable with.

You both stood there awhile, looking out at the blinking lights of the cityscape. As quiet as it was, you could almost hear the sound of your brains whirring, going back and forth over whether or not you should say something to break the silence. Changkyun had spent months thinking of questions he wanted to ask you for when this moment came, but the alcohol and nerves fogged up his mind. All he could think of doing was holding you in his arms, hoping for you to be able to feel his apologies, sincerity and promises through the beating of his chest.

A heavy pressing in your lungs only intensified, as you thought about how the present situation had become the outcome of those few perfect years. You regulated your breathing, trying to break down the lump from coming up in your throat, on the verge of tears again. Thinking back, you realised that you probably could have been a little more understanding, could have softened your sharp words, could have opened your heart up some more to allow for Changkyun to do so in return. These thoughts and emotions bubbled up inside your chest to spill out of your mouth before you even knew what you wanted to say.

“Changkyun, I-”

“I found a really nice place for nights like this. Y/N.” he cut across with an anxious tremble in his voice. He could feel the apology ready to tumble from your lips, he had to stop you from apologising for things that you really didn’t need to. He hated that your heart was so big and so loving that you were willing to start trying to mend this relationship first. But he hated himself more for not having the courage to try to be even half as loving as you are.

He continued, still looking out over the balcony, worried that he’d start to tear up if he met your eyes again, “you can see the stars so clearly, it’s insane.”

You turned to him, tears welling in your eyes again. Despite having cut each other from your lives for what felt like a lifetime, it broke you how he could still read you like his favourite book.

“Can we go? Y/N? I’ve waited so long to show you.”

Hot tears fell down your cheeks again as Changkyun noticed and turned to you, pulling you into his chest as you cried out the mess of emotions you had amassed. 

The person you had wanted to talk about your breakup with Changkyun the most, was so ironically Changkyun. He’d know how to calm you down, how to sort out your problems with ice cream in bed like any other issue you were facing. But what were you supposed to do when you had cut the one who understood you the most so bluntly from your life? Who were you supposed to turn to when you wanted to talk about that?

Your cries pierced into his heart deeper with every second that passed, feeling the hurt in your voice in the deepest parts of his soul. He replied by holding you tighter, and you could feel all those things he left unsaid that day you left in the warmth of his chest.

“We don’t have to rush,” He whispered into your hair, “I have all the time in the world for you. Let it out.”

He brought a hand up from your shoulders hesitantly, feeling almost undeserving of comforting you after the pain he had caused you. But to you, his hand stroking your hair was where you found your solace.

So, there you stood, in each other’s arms having poured out your hearts to one another without having said a single word. But you both knew that you felt every single one.

[thedeaditeslayer]

ART OF DARKNESS | An Interview with GRAHAM HUMPHREYS.

This interview from Starburst Magazine features a lot of coverage with Humphreys’ work on the Evil Dead trilogy.

Legendary poster artist GRAHAM HUMPHREYS talks horror, his long career, influences, the evils of Photoshop, and more!

STARBURST: One of your most celebrated earliest works was the iconic UK theatrical poster for Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead, a film which was soon to be dragged unfairly into the whole Video Nasty controversy. Do you think that the notoriety the film gained during this time helped or hindered your career?

Graham Humphreys: The Evil Dead got its UK distribution in 1983, two years before the Video Recordings Act came into law in September 1985. At the age of 23, two years seemed more like ten years at the time and I don’t recall any significant impact on my career during that period. This was for two main reasons, the first being that I was not particularly aware of most of the films that had become a target for the silly and hysterical tabloids, and thus oblivious to how their removal and savage editing might impact on choice or, indeed, the morality of an infantilised nation. Secondly, The Evil Dead had already been censored with a significant number of cuts for the theatrical, and therefore, simultaneous video, release. Mostly, these were simply to reduce the running time on particularly graphic scenes, although I think the eye gouging was almost entirely removed from the original version I’d been shown at a screening. So as far as I was aware, censorship was already in place for VHS. Of course I hadn’t really been introduced to the many European films and the rarely seen, contentious US art-house films that had begun to flood the shelves in the burgeoning VHS rental shops. As we know, many videos were pulled simply because of the titles themselves. It was enough that they sounded as if they might offend! My real introduction to, for instance, Argento and Fulci films came through Richard Stanley, whilst we storyboarded his first feature, Hardware. My film knowledge had been UK/US centric until that point, with the exception of televised European Cinema. If I had to identify any impact on my career, it will presumably have been positive. A Nightmare on Elm Street was released in the UK around the time of the Video Recordings Act coming into law. So if The Evil Dead gave me my first entry into horror marketing, Nightmare’cemented my position within the genre. It’s important to add that the majority of my freelance work at the time did not fit into the genre category. In order to earn a living I was working on a whole raft of other illustration commissions, completely non-horror related. It’s only in the last ten years that I’ve been working almost exclusively in the genre.

It’s heartening to see that you’ve routinely revisited the Evil Dead franchise many times over your career, including the recently sold out vinyl reissue of the original’s score, The Evil Dead – A Nightmare Reimagined; is there anything in particular about that series that inspires you to keep returning?

In truth, it’s not my decision. I am reliant on being commissioned for any job. Although I rarely turn down work, and only do so because of deadline or budget issues, it is always a thrill to return to an earlier title that has been so formative in my career. As with most artists, I perceive only the weaknesses in my work and each chance to make amends is welcome! I have to work within the limits of my ability and experience, returning to a title like The Evil Dead gives me a chance to experiment with ideas and techniques that I didn’t have at the time. The soundtrack you mentioned is an interesting example because the art is not promoting the film as such but rather an appendage, albeit an important one. My personal challenge involved not simply creating a cover for the film, but using it as visual resource. I wanted to use the four panels of the gatefold as a picture book. The cover is thus a rather restrained image compared to the blood drenched final panel within. The discovery of the taped recording is not an explosive gore-filled scene, but the moment where the horror begins, thus Ash is still looking clean and fresh faced. The tape reel is a direct reference to my original poster. A film poster has to capture the essence of a film in a single panel. The gatefold LP format is four such ‘posters’, two double spreads, each a separate chapter. My second version of the Evil Dead 2 poster, the licensed screenprint, was another chance to create a poster from scratch, as if seeing the film for the first time, yet also acknowledging that which had gone before. I suspect I’ll be returning to the woods again!

Speaking of that iconic Evil Dead 2 poster, how did it feel to see that piece so lovingly referenced by Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg in the debut season of Spaced?

I didn’t see the original run of Spaced, so was unaware of the poster’s use. In fact, I think I was only made aware whilst preparing some ultimately unused concepts for a Shaun of the Dead cinema poster. Naturally, it was a thrill to finally see the series and how the poster was featured so prominently. When Tim inadvertently recreates the pose on the poster, it reminded me of how I’d photographed a friend posing in the exact same way to provide my reference for the original painting! I used a lot of Polaroid photographs in the eighties. Whenever you see a hand in a piece of my artwork, it’s usually mine. Even in the recent Blu-ray cover for Arrow films Blood and Black Lace, that’s me dressed in black! I used a camera on a 10 second timer!

Moving away from Raimi’s franchise, which other genre properties have been favourites to work on?

Aside from The Evil Dead, only A Nightmare on Elm Street provided a number of sequential commissions. I was a fan of the first film, after seeing a preview screening at London’s Scala Cinema. This was some months before being asked to illustrate the eventual UK poster campaign. I appreciated the risk Palace Pictures took by returning to my services. Nightmare’ was completely different to The Evil Dead and the last thing they required was the crude punk rock exploitation look of the 1983 artwork. Most clients pigeonhole artists’ work; I can’t imagine any other client would have had the foresight to make the decision. I then worked on each of the four sequels - the third was my work, though not an illustration - plus a number of Nightmare’ related jobs. Another film I’ve returned to - pun intended - is The Return of the Living Dead. I was unhappy with my original VHS cover, simply because I felt I didn’t have the skills to pull off what I’d intended - this despite the fact that people clearly liked the sleeve - so I recreated the art for a dedicated Blu-ray screening event, really as an experiment. Since then I’ve painted a book cover - Cult Screenings’ 245 Trioxin - and a Shout Factory US Blu-ray release. There was also a hybrid Re-Animator/Return of the Living Deadposter for the Cult Screenings Don Calfa event.

It’s probably safe to say that the vast majority of our readers miss the days of artwork posters and sleeves; why do you think that the studios and distributors moved away from the medium in the ’90s?

Easy answer - Photoshop! It wasn’t an available tool until then. Photocomposition was an expensive process prior to the ‘affordable’ introduction of the software. The skills involved in splicing large format transparencies, re-photographing them and retouching using bleaches and dyes to hide the joins, made it the work of highly skilled artists. Even the early version of computer ‘comping’ involved using specialised facilities, desktop computing was still unaffordable for most designers... the expense was enormous. But I realised very quickly that unlike the tradition of transparency retouching, new computer ‘comping was entirely technology-led and often lacked the artist’s eye. Unfortunately, this is still often the case. High definition has replaced suggestion. I also suspect that as film studios found their talent ever more demanding of obscenely large fees, the need to make full use of an expensive face took over from merely expressing the film’s subject matter. Photography took over. It is slightly disappointing that in a market awash with Photoshop portraiture, there is also a new visual illiteracy. The beautiful posters created by Saul Bass are a prime example of how film marketing moved away from his symbolism to a new literalism, becoming infantilised by Photoshop. As Quentin Tarantino observed, contemporary film posters look more like ‘Vogue covers’. Pouting, overpaid actors retouched in high definition. Painted images are a springboard of suggestion and imagination. A photograph, no matter how beautiful, is simply that.

Conversely, the rise of home video distributors specialising in cult & classic reissues like Arrow and Eureka has created a hunger for newly commissioned artwork. Do you feel that the trend may ever come full circle and return to the mainstream at all?

That’s doubtful. Illustrated images are mostly used for reissues, ancillary campaigns or independent films with limited distribution, but rarely first run releases. However, I think that’s fine. In many ways, there will always be more freedom of expression where the reductive, corporate needs of accountants, executives and moneyed interns are factored out. Modern film marketing is led by money people, not art directors. It may always have been a ‘business’, but it often seems there is little encouragement for true mavericks or creative outsiders right now. In the same way that major releases tend to be franchises, sequels or star vehicles, the campaigns are reflective of a homogenised business where risk is discouraged. But hey, never say never!

Which artists would you say have influenced your style and, or, career?

It’s a mix. I take inspiration wherever it arises. From my early childhood, visits to the local library - I was fascinated by religious depictions of demons and hell - all easily accessible images of horror! And of course, the Bible is full of gratuitously shocking imagery. I didn’t have a particularly religious upbringing, though like many of my generation, Sunday school was just one of those things that you went to as routine. The promise of Sunday school outings to the coast was the biggest draw. It’s curious to look back and see that I was ‘confirmed’ as a Christian in my early teens - before I really understood the contexts and realities of ‘faith’. I’m now atheist. As an amusing aside, my nose bled during the confirmation! I also served at the altar in the local church. I consider it an induction into the world of ‘gothic’! I then found myself becoming aware of book covers and film posters; the magical touchstone for many was Dennis Gifford’s A Pictorial History of Horror Movies. Tom Chantrell’s cover was easily the biggest catalyst for everything that followed. Some film posters stood out more than others, but many of the US posters seemed to be painted by jobbing artists with their own specialist areas - US civil war, cowboys, landscapes - and quite how they ended up providing some of the most memorable ‘disaster movie’ posters is something I’ve always thought was rather odd. I’ve named Chantrell, but in the UK, Vic Fair created some amazing work. From the US - Drew Struzan, Bob Peak, Richard Amsel and J.C. Leyendecker. The printed posters of Jules Cheret, Toulouse Lautrec and Alphonse Mucha. The new generation of British illustrators that emerged during my college years. The work of Saul Bass and graphic artists too numerous to catalogue... Sometimes it might only be one particular piece of work from an individual’s entire output. But I also take inspiration from the abstract and tribal... and a particular love of Tibetan sacred art.

Many of our readers, and writers for that matter, will have grown up with at least one of your movie posters tacked to their bedroom walls; who or what adorned yours?

I should have added both Bruce Pennington and Roger Dean to that last answer. They both adorned mine! Now it’s almost all vintage posters - the Universal monster films, Corman’s Poe films and many of the Hammer Horror - there seems to be a lot of Christopher Lee and Vincent Price! But yes, back then I had a copy of Jaws, Earthquake and The Hindenburg as my first collected film posters.

How long would you say on average commission takes to complete?

Depending on the complexity, a painting might take anywhere between two and four days, maximum five. The fee often decides what time you can allow. If I spent two weeks on a job that was only covering the fee of one day, I’d be out of business pretty fast. The preliminary process - viewing a film, making grabs, the sketching etc. - can often be completed in a day. This time is generally not covered in the fee; I tend to quote on the painting process!

A studio or distributor gets in touch - can you walk us through the process of creating a piece?

It’s often been different in the past, but the process has been whittled down to a fairly simple set of stages. 1) The initial contact and acceptance of a job - once a budget and deadline has been mutually agreed. 2) Viewing the film, or materials, to get a measure of the subject and an understanding of how best to approach the project - the client will usually indicate upfront any particular requests... ie. required imagery or portraiture. 3) Selecting the imagery I feel works best, usually screen grabs, and sketching the various elements - portraiture is almost always traced from the photographic source using printouts - it’s the most efficient way of ensuring a likeness. Sometimes I’ll supplement the images with my own photography and web searches, or composite the grabs with other poses, or perhaps add a close-up to a wider body shot, to keep the best portrait reference. 4) Scan the pencil sketch elements into Photoshop and play around with compositions, exploring focal elements or key ‘moments’, always searching for the most impactful or meaningful combinations. 5) Email the layouts to the client and - all being well - agree on the preferred option. 6) Reintroduce the original photographic sources over my pencil layout, creating a crude photo-comp in Photoshop. 7) Print out the comp to the size I intend to paint. 8) Trace onto the paper - I generally use Bockingford 190gsm, ‘not’ surface - a pitted effect that allows for more texture when painting. 9) Use masking tape to secure the paper to a wooden board I use for the purpose. 10) Cover the paper surface in a wash of colours that will form the base of my colour theme, using splashes of additional colour or clear water to particular areas - always having a rough version of the finished item in my head. 11) During the previous process, the paper will buckle, forming ‘valleys’ where the paint will run into shapes and forms that will add a spontaneous look - the paper dries flat because of the taped edges - so once dry I’ll usually start by defining the darkest areas, the basic shadows and contours, almost a drawing rather than a painted image. 12) Then I’ll concentrate on the key portraiture, moving around the painting, most often from top left to bottom right, so as not to disturb the painted surface resting my hand as I paint, or using bits of clean paper to protect the surface. 13) Take constant breaks to keep reviewing with fresh eyes... one of the most important devices I also use, a piece of mirror that I constantly check the progress with. It has a two-fold purpose: to see the reflected painting as if for the first time, but also to keep in check the tendency to skew imagery. If you’re right-handed it’s easy to find a bias of angles from bottom left to top right, and in reverse if left-handed. Using a mirror to check this will quickly reveal the bias. 14) Complete the painting by ensuring important detail is included, portraits are as good as the paint will allow, and that there is a cohesion and balance to the overall layout. The addition of a few carefully administered splatters using a worn brush is the final stage. 15) A quick photo is often taken for the client to see the results and identify any glaring issues. Fortunately, these are rare. Then the final scan and any necessary final tweaks in Photoshop, usually adding a bit more extra bleed, but generally retaining the integrity of the original item. 16) Invoice and get paid!

It’s probably akin to picking a favourite child, but which piece are you most proud of?

Once a job is complete I tend to dislike it - it’s part of the natural process where you keep re-evaluating what you do, always striving to improve. Of course budgets and deadlines conspire against ideal results. For this reason it might take a year or two for me to regard a job as something I can feel comfortable with. I’m always trying to look through the eyes of a stranger, judging my work and finding fault... it’s the only way to move forward! So I can’t really identify favourites, just successes. My easy copout is always the same... the job I’m most proud of? I’ve not painted it yet!

If fans want to get their hands on your work, where can they point their wallets?    

The best place they can spend that money is on the final product - Blu-ray, LP or whatever – that way I’m more likely to be recommissioned by the client! However, my website has a section which shows what folio prints are currently available. There is no online shop, but my email address is easily found on the site and I can respond with prices etc. Very easy! The large format book Drawing Blood, published by Proud Gallery, is still available, though I have no access to stock. The gallery - proudonline.co.uk - will sell you one, as will Amazon. It’s a bit pricey - sorry, out of my control - but it comes in a special box and with a limited edition giclée print. People seem to like it! And any convention where I’m a guest, I’ll always have prints, booklets and posters. As my work is paint on paper, rather than digital, I have originals that I’m also happy to sell. Prices are set according to the amount of work and subject matter.

Are you able to tell us about any upcoming projects that our readers should be excited about?

Not without compromising the confidentiality of the client! But there are some fun items I’m currently very excited about personally. Perhaps a favourite film, a favourite TV series... I’ll say no more!

For more on Graham Humphreys’ incredible work, be sure to visitwww.grahamhumphreys.com. To contact about prices and/or commissions, reach out using info@grahamhumphreys.com

[zyibo-blog]

                 Media journal of ‘Media detox’

 Day 1

   ‘media detox day’

On Wednesday 17th of May, I did something that I never try before. It was my first day to quit social media for the whole day which means in that day, I don't use phone, laptop or any other electronic equipment. In the early of day, it was just interesting and curious for me by stop using any electronic equipment. because I posted a message on Facebook and told all my friends on Tuesday, so I wouldn't worry about any unread messages. I shuted down my phone in the morning. Around 7:00 AM, I cooked my breakfast, first time ate breakfast without watch phone, and went to gym with my flatmates. Talked with my flatmates a lot on the way to the gym, it was the first time we talked so many topics, he also looked very energetic. Because there is no phone. The weird thing is I found sometimes I would be watching phone not for the sake of entertainment but just to kill the time.

In the beginning, I felt disconnect with internet is not a big deal. I could do anything to kill time. However, I was wrong. I kept thinking about what if I missed some important news or notifications? what if some emergency phone calls coming? I try to give up, I almost couldn't resist the temptation of phone, I always wanted to check unread message, emails and notifications. Fortunately, my friend came to see me and dragged me to take a walk. We chatted a lot face to face and discovered many beautiful places in campus. He also borrowed a basketball, we played for hours. To be honest, I haven't sweated that much since I come to university.

                                 Day 2

Appendix One: Media Journal for date

 Time

Activity

Media encountered

6:00

Wake up

Phone alarm

 6:00

 Check phone

  Close alarm

  Check unread message

  Check iLancaster timetable

6:00--6:10

Change clothes and brush teeth

~

6:20--6:45

Breakfast

Watch news on phone

          7:00--8:30

Go to gym

One the way to gym

Posters of society in university

Listen to music

Message friend, ask him whether he come or not

Advertisements outside the gym

Buy water

Watch random TV show while running on the treadmill

(there is a small screen on the treadmill)

    Open fitness APP on phone and record running time and Weight lifting weights

    Check message

    Take photo of my weight and record it on the phone.

 8:40--9:00

Take shower

Play music on phone

     9:00--9:40

Use laptop

Log on university website

Log on moodle

Check university email

Check news and activities happened in college

Prepare the course past paper

Check Facebook and twitter message

Watch random video on Youtube

 9:40--10:00

Go to library

Print the past paper or power point slides that needed in class

     10:00--12:00

In the lecture

Use iLancaster to check-in

Use laptop to write notes in lecture

Use phone to check dictionary

(because my first language is not English)

Log on moodle

Check message on phone

Take photos of the content on the big screen in the front

 12:00--13:00

In the seminar

Use iLancaster to check-in

Use labtop to log on moodle to see the power point

Communicate with classmates

Write notes on laptop

13:00--13:40

Lunch time

Check instagram and message

13:40--14:00

Rest

Check Weixin message and post

Send message to friends

Check bus timetable

14:00--14:30

Take a bus

Watch news

Message friends

See whether there is a discount or not

Use phone to make a  shopping list

14:30--16:00

Shopping

Go to Sainsbury

Use Nectar card

Advertisements in Sainsbury, such as Samsung, Tropicana, Pepsi, etc

Different brands

Discount items information

Sign up membership of Sainsbury

Call taxi number

16:00--18:00

Revision

Use phone to check dictionary

Check university’s email

Log on moodle

Revise with notes taken in the morning on the laptop

Review power points

         18：00--19：00

  Use phone to see BBC news play Snapchat

Use Skype to contact with my family

Also send recent photos to them

Play music

Call my friend or message them by using Weixin

Check Facebook status

Leave comments (my favourite news is about politics and economy)

 19:00--20:00

Laptop thing

Watch interesting video on Youtube

Edit some more information on my own official account in Weixin, write status and post some photos on it.

Others’ interesting essay and photos

Advertisements of movie and anime, novels or TV series,etc

Edit email

Recommend activities and interesting news happened recently

20:00--20:45

Dinner time

Watch film while eating

20:45--22:00

revision

Use moodle and online power points, just like above

22:00--23:00

  Play music

Read electronic novel on phone

See whether are there any more recommend novels or not

Charge online for APP

Advertisement of new books

23:00--23:30

  Log on Amazon accounts

Check discount information

Many brands’ advertisements

Check account status

23:30--00:30

  Watch film

Text friends

Set alarm on phone

See timetable for tomorrow classes

Read guitar sheet music by using phone

 00:30--1:00

 Watch one episode of favourite TV series

1:00

Sleep

                           Day 3

  My reflection of the 'media detox day’

  During that day, While doing all these activities, I always wanted to open my phone or laptop to check are there any unread message or did my friend call me? I also wanted to use 'Google'. Usually I always use 'Google' when I met any difficulties. without my phone and internet within couple of hours.I realised we have already become very dependent on internet, because we are member of this society. I can't remember when does the Internet become a secondary storage for our brains, and anything that we think isn’t essential to our survival gets stored on the World Wide Web. for example, sometimes when I want to go shopping, I always Google discount information or compare different stores on internet. Also, when I want to make a cake, I have to Google it even I knew those steps. I became extremely dependent on internet that I do not remember the skills I have learned. I can find satisfactied results on Google in mere seconds. Google become the best answer of any questions that come to our mind. I checked my Google searches history , and I counted the total number of my Google searches of April. I found out that I did an average of 30--40 searches each day in April.

Moreover, in the past few years, I have been spending too much time on internet and viewing the web page. Sometimes, I felt that overuse Internet has actually chipped away my capacity to concentrate and contemplate. Every time when I met difficulties,the first thing on my mind is use 'Google' to find effective measures. It become part of my life, and it makes me lazy. In 1960, media theorist Marshall McLuhan mentioned that media does not only supply the stuff of thought but also shapes the process of thought (Carr, 2008). Because of Facebook messages, television, email and notifications. we become very hardly to concentrate. Many things around us are distracting our mind.  On that day I quit social media, I always want to give up, I almost couldn't resist the temptation of phone, I always want to check unread message, emails and notifications. As result, I locked my phone and laptop in the drawer at that day. While the Internet has restored reading and writing as central activities in our culture, it has also changed how we read and write completely (Shirky, 2010). I always read novels on my phone, and I also have a electronic book. Sometimes, I also found it is hard to concentrate, When we read online, Wolf says, we tend to become“mere decoders of information.” Our ability to interpret text, and making rich mental connections when we read deeply and without distraction, remains largely disengaged (Carr, 2008). I remember once I was younger, I was so focused on a book, even my mom shouted my name many times for dinner, I wasn't able to hear her. I used to immerse myself in the book for hours. However, nowadays, I couldn't concentrate for one hour.

In 1964, McLuhan also pointed out that media is an extension of our selves (Marshall 1964). Sometimes I would be using phone not for any purpose but just to kill time. I will be relieved if my phone is held by my hand. when I am taking shower, there has to be a music playing. To be honest, if my phone, laptop disappeared someday, or all information on them was stolen, I would basically be losing abilities of spelling, arithmetic, calculation. There is a research has shown that around 68 % of students start panicking and uncomfortable after just a few minutes in a room without their phones or a computer (Konnikova, 2013).

   People on social media have more stressful life (Chore, 2013). because we compare ourselves with others. Social media provides us many ways to compare ourself with others (Chore, 2013), we always compare the number of friends on Facebook, the number of likes we get on Instagram, the number of re-tweets we get on Twitter, etc. more and more comparison make us feel unconfident and jealous. There was once I remembered I went to watch movie with a group of friends, but the next day, I saw one of my friend post many photos, everyone is on photos except me. I felt unhappy and sad. I kept thinking one question ' where did I offend him?'  Another thing that people like me fear about is Being ignored, during the 'media detox day', I felt like withdrawing from real life when disconnect with internet. during that day, I always thinking what if I miss some interesting news or important calls.

In fact, during the 'media detox day', I still found there are something far more interesting than phone, chat with my friends face to face rather than message each other. I start to walk around our campus , discover every corner in university. And I bought some books, it is the first time for me to go to book store this year. If it wasn't 'media detox day', I would never ever realised that I become hardly to concentrate. Social media is causing me more stress than happiness.

    Blog link:

                                             Reference:

  Carr, Nicholas. 2010. The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains. W. W. Norton.[Accessed 20 May 2017].

    Marshall McLuhan, (2017). Understanding Media The extensions of man  [online] Available at: http://robynbacken.com/text/nw_research.pdf  [Accessed 20 May 2017].

     Carr, N., 2010. Does the Internet Make You Dumber? [Online] Available at: http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052748704025304575284981644790098 [Accessed 2017].

     Konnikova, M., 2013. HOW FACEBOOK MAKES US UNHAPPY. [Online] Available at: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/elements/2013/09/the-real-reason-facebook-makes-us-unhappy.html [Accessed 2017].

    Shirky, C., 2010. Does the Internet Make You Smarter? [Online] Available at: http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052748704025304575284973472694334 [Accessed 2017].

    Kelner, S., 2013. Is FOMO depriving us of our ability to exist in the present and take pleasure in the here and now? [Online] Available at: http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/is-fomo-depriving-us-of-our-ability-to-exist-in-the-present-and-take-pleasure-in-the-here-and-now-8449677.html [Accessed 2017].

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[paulhermanfad]

Vis-com rotation

I brainstormed a dozen ideas at the beginning of this project. I chose one, a humorous animation, and worked on it for a week.

Then, on Friday of the same week, Doug gave us a talk which included a bunch of samples that were creative, innovative and well-made. I left class a little stunned. I abandoned the conventional animation I had been working on and tried to come up with an idea of the category Doug had shown us. A challenge.

I pondered; I waited for inspiration; I drew, and finally I came up with this. I call it: The Idea

I thought to tell the narrative with images and, since half the story is about contemplation, I considered doing each of the thirteen panels I had story-boarded in a different medium—to reflect my character's consideration of possibilities. I did some oil sketches, clay studies, acrylics, pen, pencil, watercolours, lino-cuts, as well as a tool new to me that I like very much, the pen brush.

I thought I might create a booklet with pages of different supports depending on the media used, and even a pop-up figure in the middle. I planned to then video record. Moving across and in and out of the series of panels with a soundtrack a musician friend was standing by to compose for it.

But though I had been rather pleased with myself for getting the facial gestures right with few changes after the storyboard, the more I re-drew the same scene, the more I realised how much they could be improved. In clarity, subtlety and even the gesture itself. When I looked up certain expressions with Google images, like: disappointment, or chagrin, or alarm, the choices tended to little variation. I began to realise, however, that entirely different gesticulation might be used to describe the same emotion to better effect, for not being common.

I took photographs of a patient friend in all the positions and lighting I envisaged for the panels and referred to them when drawing.

Time pressed and drawing the thirteen panels in ballpoint with watercolour washes, was in itself daunting. So, I got down to it and worked my way through them, finishing the last drawing Sunday night before Monday deadline.

It is the third iteration if you don't count the many individual sketches exploring expression, composition and point of view. Or the experiments in other media. But it is not accomplished. I would need one more go, although, in experience, 'one more go', one at a time, often mean: several more goes. I have replaced a couple of the panels with improvements but many of the others shout their poor anatomy or tiresome, repetitive composition.

What would I change? Well, as Doug pointed out, I should have reconsidered the stylised hair which worked well enough for the rougher sketches. It neither matches the style of some of the faces nor exploits what could be effective about it when the fingers enter his head. I thought the ballpoint pen and watercolours worked well enough for the first, large, panel, but became dull as one works through the pages. If I did it again I would try the more calligraphic line of a pen-brush. As mentioned, some of the drawings need improvement simply in the anatomy; others want livening-up with different points of view, but mostly, it is to the facial gesture that I have found my focus directed.

The last panel presented an especial challenge. A difficult expression, a kind of resigned disappointment and frustration. As well as its being important as the final panel, the punchline, so to speak. I drew and I re-drew, and googled and re-googled (with all the synonyms I could think of) but though I found appropriate images, they lacked impact, they lacked a dynamic quality. When one of my sketches reminded me of Homer Simpson, I wrote: D'OH! Next to it and had an epiphany as a result. Of course! When Homer says “D'oh!” he wears the very facial gesture I'd been looking for. I searched it out and, sure enough, was able to extrapolate from that simple stylisation—Homer the cartoon character—the same expression for my protagonist.

As I drew I began to realise that I have been drawing and painting people all of my life—they are my favourite subject—but never, EVER, with an expressive gesture. Combined with my recent revisiting of Rembrandt's etchings (which have spurred me to my own forays into copper etching) it dawned on me that this is an area I need to explore to see where it leads. (Just as Rembrandt explored it all of his life, especially in the etchings.)

For my final project I have piles of material. Both reference photographs I have taken, and drawn and painted sketches. But I have been in a quandary for lack of a theme that brings it together. I think some of my experiments with story-telling, where I added attributes to people's portraits based on what they tell me about themselves when I photograph them, show potential (thanks Neil Russell). But it seems a bit dry. Not exploratory. Not experimental. Just illustrated portraits. Now, as a consequence of this comic strip of drawings for vis-com, I think I have discovered an objective. I am going to explore the expression of emotion through physical gesture.