#i recently came back to my acc and forgot how fun it was

[shizumachi]

shoutout to my 36 loyal followers ily shizumachers take some evangelion screenshot redraws :3

[peachysdmn]

toxic

first time writing! please be nice :)

summary: you and rafe's relationship hasn't been the best as of late, and the events of midsummer have only made matters worse after a fit of rage resulted in some words spilling out. rafe fixes things in the only way he knows with you.

warnings: angst, swearing, slight manipulation, mentions of alcohol, super little fluff, not so nice kook reader

+1.7k words

can also be read on my wattpad acc: forestbyte

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your relationship with rafe had been on the rocks for a few months now. In the last few weeks, you was barely able to be alone with him and you couldn't figure out why every time you were alone it ended in a fight. As you sat in bed, knees to your chest, and hugged yourself, you replayed the most recent fight in your head. Fighting seems like the only way he knows to get rid of you, as if he doesn't want you around. midsummers was supposed to be your debut together, but of course, when the time actually came, rafe was busy getting shitfaced with topper and kelce. you had been waiting for rafe to show up so you could walk in with his family but he never did.

sarah sounded like she couldn't care less as she asked for her bother's whereabouts. "have you seen rafe? were supposed to walk out in 10 minutes and no one has heard from him"

"nope, I'm looking for him too..." you trailed off looking around the room once more to see if he was in near before sighing.

you spend the rest of midsummer hanging out with Sarah and wheezie before spotting rafe as you were bout to leave. he was with topper and kelce walking up from the beach obviously drunk - walking in a zig-zag and grabbing onto topper shoulder for support. "shut up, man at least we're here now" you hear rafe mumbled, probably in response to one of the boys on either side of him.

as soon as rafe sees you his demeanor changes. he freezes in his place for a second, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of this nose with this fingers. "fuck" is all he could come up with after making you wait for god knows how many hours. you scoff, turning around and walking back to your car where your parents were waiting for you.

"y/n, wait!" you hear rafes harsh footsteps following behind you but you don't stop.

that was only one of the events that happened this night. you back home in bed while softly crying, hoping not to wake your parents who could sense the tension between and rafe before getting in the car. your phones been vibrating on and off for the past half an hour. you know it's rafe. I mean who else would be texting or calling at 3 am. despite knowing it's him you decide to check in case, convincing yourself it might be Sarah in some trouble - although your sure it's not.

5 missed called from rafe

rafe: pick up the phone y/n

rafe: please baby

rafe: come on how long are you going to ignore me

rafe: im coming over if you don't answer

as soon as you're done reading the text, you see an incoming call from rafe. deciding you'll eventually have to face him you pick up - it's better you don't see his face to avoid breaking down and letting him know just how hurt you are he stood you up.

"baby" he slurs - obviously drunk you decide to tell him talk before saying anything you'll regret.

"listen, i know what I said before" he paused for a second thinking of the right words to say before speaking again "but I just forgot ok?" you couldn't tell if he was actually sorry or just drunk sweet-talking you but your heart ached knowing he was out having fun while you were waiting for him to show up, sadly not for this first time. "babe?...you still there?"

"yeah, rafe I'm listening" you surprised yourself with how rough and course your voice sounded. it was evident that you had been crying from your voice alone and rafe obviously picked up on this. "fuck, don't cry" this only made you cry more. "hey..hey listen to me, I'm sorry ok?"

"rafe, you left me there all night so you could go drink!" finally your sadness turned into anger and you let your next words fall from your mouth without even thinking about it. "you don't even know how pissed your dad is rafe, you always let everyone down god it's embarrassing" you snap out of your fit of rage when you hear the dial tone.

he hung up on you.

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the next few days were like hell for you. in bed, crying, binge eating, listening to sad music, looking through old pictures of you and rafe- which only led to more crying. you wanted to reach out to him but didn't have it in you. you hurt him, you knew that and it was killing you - killing you that those words slipped from your mouth when you know it's not the truth. it's so far from the truth.

when you felt the urge to use the bathroom you thought you might as well grab something else to eat. looking through your kitchen trying to find something better than the Oreos and junk food you'd been eating, you come across something else - a bottle of don julio - you had one specific memory with this type of alcohol the only and only kook king himself. rafe had stolen a bottle from his dad's collection, the one he kept for guests. you guys snuck out to his roof and drank straight from the bottle. it was one of the early days in your relationship, back when you guys didn't fight as regularly. you felt the need to have a taste again. it was going to be as close to rafe as you'll get since the last few days and maybe you also need some liquid courage to get you going.

about 45 minutes later, you were sobbing on your floor, phone in one hand and bottle in the other. you were a mess to say the less. your finger hovering over rafes contact for the last 5 minutes. "c'mon" you try to encourage yourself before pressing the call button, hands shaking with anxiety.

"rafe..?" you whisper the words when you see he's picked up but the line stays silent. you hear some movement on the other side before a small "hmm" comes thorugh. the sound of his voice after so long and the mixture of alcohol coursing through your veins brings you to tears.

"I'm so sorry rafe, I didn't meant it i-" you break into sobs feeling like this is it for the two of you. it was no surprise this relationship wasn't how it was in the beginning - the honeymoon stage was over and it felt like hell had just started. "please say something rafe...I miss you" you sniffle trying to control your emotions - hoping he can't tell he's got this effect on you even. you didn't wanna seem weak but rafe didn't see you as weak he felt the same things you were but he couldn't express them in the same way you could.  

"that was pretty fucked of you" his words sting you worse than you could've ever predicted. "you know how I feel about my dad and you just use it against-" you can't help but cut him off, knowing exactly what he'll say but you couldn't bear to hear it. you fucked up. "I know rafe, I'm sorry please, I was just upset because you- it didn't mean it, baby" you knew he loved when you called him that - you did it in hopes it would ease the burden you placed on him that night. "i love you, rafe"

for the second time in the last few days you hear the same dreaded dial tone, indicating he had once again hung up on you.

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you told him you loved him and he had hung up on you - what an asshole. sure you messed up too but you didn't think he would just ignore what you said like that. those words were supposed to be said during a better moment than the one you both just had but it felt like the right time for you to say it, maybe he wasn't ready?

you were knocked out of your train of thought when you heard a knock on your door. deciding to ignore it as it was most likely just the post since your parents were away on the mainland for work. you also didn't feel like answering the door in your state. when you didn't answer the knocking only got louder and more persistent. figuring it might have been something urgent you went down the stairs. "coming" you drag out when the knocking didn't stop.

"oh my god" you mumbled under your breath as you walked up the door. who the hell was knocking on your door like this. I swear once I open the door if there isn't anything urgent i'll-

your thoughts escaped you as you swung the door open to find the boy you'd been obsessing over for the last 6 months at your door. he looked tired, slight dark circles under his eyes and brows creased together in a frown. "rafe?" you questioned with a tone he couldn't recognize.

rafe wasn't sure how to fix this situation. He was never the best with words or promises, much less apologizing or accepting them. In spite of your tears, you looked as good as the day he met you. Rafe reacted to your appearance in the only way he knew how. he stepped close to you, grabbing your face whispering a quick "come here" before pressing your lips together in hopes that would fix all the problems between you two.

and of course, like always - it did. he was like a drug to you after all and you were addicted, to say the least.

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a/n: wow, this is my first time ever writing an imagine let alone for a complex character like rafe. I hope this does him justice - just feel like I should mention I don't support rafes actions in the show but I do love drew and his talent to play such an interesting character like rafe. 

drew is the only reason I'm writing these imagines [and maybe the tiny hope that rafe can be redeemed in season 3???]

[staysuki]

i m alive

i ve been busy these past week grrr I ALREADY SUBMITTED ALL MY MISSING REQUIREMENTS BUt they kept on coming and coming every single day (like literally one more project due every single weekday, so like 5 wtf) 🤌 n e ways, good thing i finished them already ~.~ i can now continue reading all the updates i missed 🤩

EXACTLY ! jake seems to be too pure for some reason. he seems carefree af. damn, been waiting for felix s history to come up but ig he wanted to stay mysterious 😔 I VE BEEN BLESSED WITH SLC Y/N 🙇‍♀️ PREACH 🙌 honestly, i also thought i d be an slc y/n. idk why, just the first character that came to mind. i already started chapter 1 of ROOM 404 but that s just it 😩 i m already so excited for it though. they re all so chaotic there LMFAO i love it. AND I CAN T BELIEVE YOU DECIDED TO MAKE AN EDGY FELIX SDJGSFDGFKJJHSD DEFINITELY WASN T EXPECTING THAT.

i want to witness 🍕 anon s dream about the giraffe and bird jeongin first hand. IKR, we stan Ashville (almost typed assvile). it DOES have animal crossing vibes. i remember buying a switch just to play that game but literally only used it for a week and forgot about it. i played every game that i have here but animal crossing 🕳️🕳️🕳️🚶 lovegame anon i ll read your story 😩 ASH, WHAT DID YOU RESEARCH segs disease FOR?? LMAOOO

🦄 helo, welckome back friend. i also just recently came back from the dead 😌 and dw, i ve also given up on making theories long ago 🏃‍♀️ i just chill and spill my wild thoughts 😎

regarding the fanfic writer meme -> dude, you are all of those . just realized that i m behind 15 chapters xD

HIII 🌺 ANON. welckome back tooo~ stay safe there or else 😤

🍕 YOOOOO IG ACC? THAT S sMORT. i m downloading the penpal app ASAP and make an ig acc. i ll just follow you guys there <333 you make me insane though literally searched 'virtual pen palling' in app store and had been looking for it for 5 minutes. I DIDN T SEE THE 'WHIM'.

i honestly don t use socmed for private life if you get what i mean. i make accs just for anime and kpop LMAOO but i don t mind sharing peaks of my chaotic life with you guys.

ok otw to figuring out how to use whim.

- ␈

welcome back bs anon 😌💅 we've been waiting JSHWJSHWJSH

have fun catching up 🐸 there's A LOT ALOT.

ig we'll just see in this week's SLC week 😏😏😏

anyways, not gonna write more cuz we can talk on IG better now 🎉🎉🎉