#i really went out of my comfort zone with the colours in the living area

[nox-is-simming]

Frank heard that he's getting a new neighbour! Since it's the dead of winter, he wanted to make sure that a tent was not the only shelter they'd have available.

[tsarisfanfiction]

Explosive

Fandom: Thunderbirds Rating: Teen Genre: Hurt/Comfort Characters: Gordon, Scott

The erupting volcano was almost sedate compared to the fraying tempers in the danger zone.

For @whumptober-archive’s day 5 “I’ve got red in my ledger” using the prompt broken nose.  Today was tough - I actually started poking at alt. prompts for a while, but they didn’t want to flow, either.  Still, we got somewhere in the end!

The sound of a breaking nose was distinctive.  Cartilage crumpled, bone shattered, and it all combined into a unique symphony that once heard once, was never forgotten again.

Gordon had known that Scott was having trouble with some rescuees; it was hard not to, when their loud and explosive protests had been broadcasting clearly through Scott’s open comm. That was the whole reason he’d left the other part of the danger zone – a small town directly in the path of a leisurely yet unrelenting volcanic eruption – to Virgil and Alan in order to back their big brother up.  Sure, Virgil probably could corral their reluctant rescuees with a combination of his seemingly-eternal patience and sheer bulk, but if Scott’s Commander persona wasn’t getting through, then Gordon wasn’t a fan of throwing Virgil into the mix. Alan wasn’t even a consideration.

He’d recommended himself, John had agreed, and Scott hadn’t even given any indication that he’d heard him over the increasingly-aggressive sounding rescuee, so he went.

Unfortunately, it sounded very much like he hadn’t got there in time.  There was, of course, a chance that Scott had snapped and been the first to lash out, but Gordon was doubtful that that was the case, even if he’d personally prefer it over Scott being the victim.  Scott was good at keeping his temper under control on rescues, provided none of his family were threatened – and as he was alone in his sector of the danger zone, there was no way they were successfully threatening the rest of them. Ergo, the one with the freshly broken nose was Scott, and Gordon was incredibly displeased at that.

They were still shouting, none of their voices tinged with the tell-tale thickness of a broken nose, and the sound of more contact echoed across the comm.

Gordon accelerated a little more, breaking into a risky jog as he closed in on Scott’s location. Ungrateful and difficult rescuees were the worst, especially when they got violent towards his brothers.  Scott could, in theory, handle it – although it was sounding rather like this time he couldn’t – but Kayo was the only other one of his siblings whose self-defence skills were greater than simply passable so Gordon often ended up as some form of defence.

That didn’t mean he liked doing it.  They were there to help people, not fight them.

He slowed his pace again on the final approach, wanting to get a visual on the situation before actually getting involved.  Blue and yellow wasn’t the best for stealth, but if no-one was actively looking for someone else nearby, he could disguise his presence reasonably well.

There were three of them, all yelling loudly.  Smart businessmen in suits, but one was built a lot like Virgil and his face was a similar colour to Thunderbird Three as he roared at Scott.  Gordon’s brother was backed up against a crumbling building that looked like it had been victimised by the warning quakes – another concern to keep an eye on – with one hand cupping his face in a way that made it perfectly clear that he was the one with the broken nose and the other balled into a fist of frustration.

His restraint was admirable; Gordon could tell that his temper was seething, and that the temptation was there to lash out in retaliation, but so far he hadn’t stooped to their level.

Gordon’s job was to make sure he didn’t.

“What seems to be the problem, gentlemen?” he inquired, stepping over some other quake-caused rubble as he made his presence known – still far enough away that they couldn’t just take a swing at him.  “You know, this area is in the path of a whole load of lava and leaving would be a really good idea.”

“We’re not leaving!” the red-faced hulk snarled.  To Gordon’s relief, he turned away from Scott to face him instead.  “Get your fancy machines over here and protect my property.”

One of those, was he? Gordon wished he was surprised, but the arrogant, sharply dressed businessmen almost always cared more for their property than their lives.  It made them incredibly tiring to deal with.

“Sir, that’s a wall of lava bearing down on us,” he pointed out, taking another step closer.  “We can’t stop it, just get everyone out of its path before they end up like the residents of Pompeii.”

And Herculaneum, John’s voice snarked in the back of his head, although John himself was too busy directing Virgil and Alan while keeping an eye on the volcano itself to contribute to the conversation.

Red turned to a rather impressive shade of purple instead.  “I demand that you protect my property,” the man exploded, rather like the erupting volcano itself.  “It’s worth more than you could possibly imagine.”

Considering the Tracys ranked somewhere particularly impressive in the list of richest families in the world, Gordon probably could.  The attending Thunderbirds alone were likely worth more than whatever it was he was trying to protect.  He knew better than to mention that, though.

“That volcano really doesn’t care,” he said instead, which probably wasn’t much better.  Movement behind the men facing him indicated that Scott was doing the smart thing and getting out of his cornered situation, although Gordon wasn’t naïve enough to think that he was being smart enough to leave the confrontation entirely.

“I don’t care what the volcano thinks,” purple-face yelled, lunging forwards.  Gordon had been wondering when he’d snap again.

Already on guard, and not hemmed in against a building with nowhere to go, it was a piece of cake to duck down beneath the flailing arm, watch him overbalance, then grab his wrist and yank him into a submission hold.

“Hey!”  The other men reacted, but Gordon glared at them and they halted in their tracks.

“Look,” he told the struggling man.  “Our job is people, not properties, and we’re not leaving you to die so either you come with us peacefully, or I’ll force you.”  He tightened his grip.  “And we do not appreciate being attacked for trying to save your sorry asses.”

“Gordon!” Scott scolded, although his name came out all mangled thanks to the broken nose. Gordon elected to ignore him.

“There’s nothing International Rescue can do to stop the volcano destroying whatever it wants to destroy,” he continued.  Purple-face gaped breathlessly, while the other two watched.  “So are you going to go to the evac zone willingly, or do I have to force you?”

Scott’s hand clamped down on his own shoulder, but Gordon continued to ignore him in favour of waiting for the answer.

It didn’t take long.

“I’ll go, I’ll go! Let me go and I’ll go right now!”

Like many of their more aggressive encounters, it was all bravado shielding a delicate ego.  Gordon released him and quickly stepped backwards, out of range of any other potential attacks – pushing Scott out of the way as he did – but it seemed that this one actually knew when he was beaten.

A dark look, an under-the-breath grumble that was probably some version of the cliché I’ll get you for this, and the man scarpered.  The other two, who were almost certainly just lackeys, followed hot on his heels, and Gordon watched them go with narrowed eyes.

“Gordon,” Scott repeated again, all nasally and disapproving.  He rolled his eyes – it wasn’t like Scott wouldn’t have done the same or worse had their situations been reversed – before turning to face his big brother.

“How did you let that guy get a hit on you?” he asked, mostly as a distraction and not because he was interested in the answer.  Scott huffed, then winced.

Gordon closed the gap between them and reached for his cheek, carefully prying the concealing hand out of the way so he could see the damage properly.

“Gordon-”

“There’s no-one else left in this sector, Virgil and Alan have the rest of it under control, and that lava’s taking its sweet time approaching,” he reminded him coolly.  “There is plenty of time for me to check you over."  He lay his hand gently on Scott’s cheek, pushing himself up on tip-toe to be closer to eye level.

His nose was going to need re-setting; Gordon could do it right there, but it’d be without painkillers, whereas if they waited until they were back to Thunderbird Two they’d have the full medical compliment, including Virgil.  Blood dripped sluggishly down, crossing Scott’s upper lip and dripping periodically onto his lower, and the classic twin black eyes were already beginning to blossom.

Scott suffered the inspection impatiently, switching his weight from foot to foot and glancing around the danger zone with an angsty air.  Gordon was too used to his big brother’s quirks to be bothered by any of that.

“You’re getting some beautiful shiners,” he declared, swiping away the next dribble of blood with his thumb before releasing Scott’s head.  The look Scott gave him could only be interpreted as thank you, Captain Obvious.  “No light-headedness, double-vision, or any other signs of concussion?”

“I’m fine,” came the muffled, irritated, response.  Gordon suspected he was at least partially annoyed with himself for being jumped in the first place.  “We have an evacuation to finish.”  It came out more like we hab an ebacuadun do binid.

Gordon eyed him critically, well aware that Scott wouldn’t admit to anything if he thought he could just push through it, but concurred.

He changed his mind approximately four seconds later, when Scott stumbled and swayed slightly.

“No light-headedness?” he repeated pointedly, fingers firmly wrapped around his brother’s bicep and holding him upright.

Scott didn’t acknowledge that with a verbal response, but the way he tugged to keep walking was enough for Gordon.

“Change of plan,” he chirped, taking the lead and guiding a somewhat reluctant Scott straight towards Thunderbird Two.  “Virgil and Alan finish off the evac while I give that head of yours a proper scan and we’ll see what’s wrong.  Well, more wrong than usual, I mean.”  He ducked a half-hearted swipe and tightened his grip when Scott threatened to overbalance again.  “John, you get that?”

“F.A.B.,” their perpetually eavesdropping brother agreed, appearing above his wrist.  “Virgil and Alan have been updated and the local authorities informed about the dangerous rescuees.”

“Perfect,” Gordon said. “Hear that, Scott?  You’ve got nothing to do except let me check you over, and I’ve got nothing to do except check you over, so let’s go do that and make sure you didn’t get a concussion.”

“I’m not concussed,” Scott protested thickly.

“Which is exactly what a concussed Scott Tracy would say,” Gordon pointed out.  Scott stumbled again and he graduated from holding his bicep to wrapping his arm around his waist.  “It’s just one measly little scan, Scott.  It won’t bite.”

The glare he got in response to that was almost enough to convince him that Scott was probably fine. Almost.

Gordon chuckled as they approached the large green Thunderbird.  Her module was open, with rescuees milling around concernedly, so he made a beeline straight for the cockpit, Scott in tow.  His brother stumbled again, and Gordon firmly pushed him to sit in one of the passenger seats before retrieving a medscanner.

No concussion, but there was a minor head injury – not including the obvious.  Gordon supressed a growl that would’ve been aimed at people out of earshot regardless, and dabbed lightly at the blood still sluggishly trickling down with a clean gauze.  His brother attempted to take over, or at the least bat him away, but Gordon caught his hand in his and guided it firmly to rest on his lap.

“Let me do it,” he scolded lightly.  “I can actually see where it is.”

It was a pretty feeble reason, admittedly – mirrors existed – but Gordon didn’t particularly care because he had no intentions of passing over the ministrations to anyone else anyway. If he did, he might just cave to the roaring instincts to teach the man – men – responsible a detailed lesson on why no-one hurt Gordon’s brothers.

It was much better for everyone involved if he kept himself busy.

[batgurl1989]

A Campsite To Remember

Summary: You and Henry go camping

Word Count: 2522

Warnings: None that I can think of. Fluff

A/N: This is a continuation of ideas from @henrynerdfan​ and @stephartrave​. A camping date. This follows after A Hike to Remember, A Picnic to Remember, and A Beach to Remember, and is currently the last of this series, unless another idea comes in that runs in this same vein. It has not been beta-ed, so all mistakes are my own. If you want to be added to my taglist let me know.

Taglist: @rmtndew​ @henrynerdfan​ @cynic-spirit​ @princesssterek​ @summersong69​

The sun was warm when we arrived at the campground. Setting my backpack down, glad to be free of its weight, I looked around the site. There was a wood platform for setting up the tent so it would stay dry on one side of the clearing. Across from it was a picnic table and a firepit with a grill over it, perfect for cooking. Back down the path was a pair of outhouses. Not going to lie, that was one of the reasons for picking this campsite to rent when I looked it up online. Not having to balance while squatting over a hole seemed like something I would not want to do in the middle of the night if the need arose.

Henry scooped up my pack and moved it over to the wooden platform. He had been carrying the tent and the food. I had lugged our clothes and miscellaneous essentials we thought we might need, along with anything Kal might need. The Akita bounded around the clearing, barking at squirrels, letting them know he was moving in for the weekend.

“We made good time.” Henry smiled at me as he passed by on his way to set up the tent. I grinned, throwing a stick for Kal. I had offered to help build the tent, but Henry insisted he could handle it alone. Probably for the best, anyway, as tents and I didn’t seem to get along well.

Kal and I decided to explore the nearby forest, enjoying the fall weather. The leaves had changed once again, and the sun warmed the scenery, turning the whole area into a fiery display of colours. Kal pranced beside me, proudly carrying a stick in his mouth as though he had conquered it. I scratched his head as we walked, excitement blooming in me about this weekend. In honour of us being whatever we were for a year, Henry had flown back to Washington for a camping weekend.

Since our picnic date, we had kept in touch as best we could. His filming schedule kept him busy, and my job was becoming ever more demanding. We made sure to text as often as we could, call each other when the times aligned across time zones. Thankfully, we lived in a time where video calls were a thing. He had even flown me out to set one week for a beach getaway when filming went on a short break. We weren’t boyfriend/girlfriend, no labels, but we somehow knew that this was exclusive without ever blatantly saying it.

By the time Kal and I returned to the campsite the tent was up, and the sleeping bags were unrolled inside. Henry had gotten a fire roaring already. Even though the sun was still shining, it would soon set, and the bite of Autumn would follow quickly behind it. Even now the breeze that soughed between the trees brought with it a chill. The fire was a welcome balm to that chill.

When I stepped up beside Henry as he watched the flames lick higher, I slid my hand into his large warm one. He entwined our fingers, giving my hand a comforting squeeze. I leaned into his muscled arm, trying to absorb as much of his heat as I could.

“Cold?” Henry chuckled, dropping my hand to wrap his arm around my shoulders. He tugged me into the side of his body, tucking me close under his arm. He pressed a kiss to the side of my head, lingering there, resting his head on mine. “I missed you. I missed this.”

“I missed you too.” I whispered, wrapping my arm around his back as I snuggled closer. I sighed; it felt so right to be here, in nature, like this. Nature was sort of our thing, so it was kind of perfect we were celebrating with a camping trip. Kal bumped my free hand with his big head, causing laughter to burst from both of us. “Of course, I missed you too.”

Henry and I moved about the campsite in perfect harmony, getting things ready for dinner. I had prepared a few things ahead of the trip so we would need to bring less things with us, and still be able to have nutritious meals. That didn’t mean I didn’t also bring the ingredients for smores. Every camping trip need smores.

The tinfoil packets filled with chopped veggies grilled nicely on the open fire, and the steaks were done to perfection. I don’t know if I could have pulled it off if I didn’t have Henry with me. I know it’s a stereotype that men are good at grilling, but it must be for a reason. Kal munched happily on the dog food I had made for him while we ate, his tail wagging the whole time.

“Watch out! It’s going to burn!” Henry laughed later as he watched my marshmallow catch on fire. He reached over to pull it out of the flames, blowing the fire out while still laughing. I hit his shoulder lightly for making fun of me, but I was laughing too. “You can’t put it in the flames. You have to put it down by the smoldering coals. Have you never done this before?”

“I did it lots as a kid, but it’s been a while.” I admitted, tossing my burnt marshmallow into the fire, before stabbing fresh one on. Henry shifted closer to me, guiding my skewer down to the edge of the fire where there were a few coals glowing with a warm orange heat.

“The trick is to keep rotating it like it’s on a rotisserie, not letting any side get more heat than the others.” Henry slowly spun my skewer in my hand, showing me his technique. I was distracted by his closeness, so it was a good thing he had a hold of the stick, otherwise this marshmallow was going to end up covered in ash. Risking it anyway, I kissed his cheek. A smile broke out on his face, but he kept his attention on the fire. “If you keep doing that, you definitely will burn your marshmallow.”

“Sorry. Couldn’t resist.” I admitted, pretending to take his smore making seriously. I had to suck my lips into my mouth to stop myself from laughing. He kept spinning the skewer, concentrating on it as the gooey confection on the end turned gold.

“Graham cracker and chocolate.” Henry instructed, getting ready to pull it from the heat. I held out the pieces I had prepared for the doomed marshmallow. He placed the warmed pillow of sugar on the piece of chocolate, and when I pressed the second graham cracker on top, he slid the skewer out. “And that is how you make the perfect smore.”

“Yum! Thank you.” I stared at the perfect little dessert sandwich, watching the marshmallow ooze out the sides. When I looked up to thank him again, Henry surprised me by pressing his lips to mine softly. It wasn’t as demanding as some of our kisses could be, or as chaste. It walked the line between the two, flirting with both sides equally.

“Sorry. Couldn’t resist.” Henry grinned when he pulled away, tossing my words back at me. I slowly opened my eyes. I would never complain about surprise kisses from this man. “You had better eat that before it gets cold. Cold smores are not as enjoyable.”

I mentally snapped out of the daze his kiss had put me and concentrated on eating my smore before the thing melted anymore. As it was chocolate was running down my thumb, threatening to drip off my hand and on to my jeans. I licked it up before that could happen, catching Henry watching me as I did. A blush crept up my neck, heating my cheeks when I realized what my action must have seemed like. Henry quickly looked away when he saw that I caught him, a blush painting his cheeks as well.

Night fell fast out here, and between the fresh air and the hike to get out to the camp, I was exhausted early on. My full stomach probably didn’t help as I fought off a food coma. Henry noticed me trying to stifle my yawns, covering them up behind my hand as I looked away from him. Chuckling, he patted my leg. We had already cleaned up the food and hid it in the cache to keep bears and other critters away from it. We had just been enjoying the fire and the clear night.

“Time for bed, love.” Henry encouraged as he stood up. He offered me his hand, which I gladly took. My body felt limp and sated after sitting by the fire with good food warming me from the inside, and the guy I was camping with warming me from the outside. He wrapped his arm around my body, his hand resting on my opposite hip as he guided me to the tent using a flashlight to see with. “Go in and get changed. I will wait.”

Kal had already put himself to bed in the tent, but he raised his head in greeting when I entered. He had taken over Henry’s sleeping bag, claiming it as his own. I laughed as I shone my flashlight at my pack so I could find my pjs. I pulled out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt for Henry so he wouldn’t have to go digging through the pack as well. I quickly changed in a pair of flannel pajama pants, tugging on warm wool socks. My heart sang as I pulled on one of his old shirts that he had left last time he visited, just for me. It didn’t smell like him anymore, but he promised he had brought some more to swap out this one with.

“Your turn.” I smiled, unzipping the tent flap to step out. Henry ducked inside, and faster than I had been, changed.

Kal was unmoveable, even though Henry tried to pull his sleeping bag out from under the Akita. The dog just grunted and seemed to make himself weigh more. I chuckled, flipping open my sleeping bag in invitation. I certainly wasn’t going to complain about sleeping beside Henry. If nothing else, he radiated heat and could be my personal furnace.

“Are you sure?” Henry double checked before climbing in to join me. Up until now, we had never slept together. Even during our beach getaway, we had two beds in the room. It had been really hard to resist the temptation to crawl into his bed that night, but I didn’t want to cross a boundary he might not be ready for. I found out later, he had been thinking the same thing.

“I’m sure.” I promised, letting as much of the promise show in my eyes as it did in my words. Henry carefully slid into the cramped space of my sleeping bag. I found it adorable that he seemed to try to make his massive body smaller, to take up as little room as possible.

“Maybe if you…” Henry trailed off as we tried to figure out how we were both going to fit in the sleeping bag. Our legs were tangled together already, and his arm was under my head. I nuzzled into his chest, breathing in his scent deeply, trying to cover it up by pretending I was just searching for a comfortable position.

Suddenly I was being rolled up, so I was laying basically on top of Henry. He smiled as he flattened himself underneath me, his shoulders spanning the width of the sleeping bag. Both his arms were around me, shifting me so I was more on top of him. I wanted to fight him, but there wasn’t a lot of wiggle room.

“Just give in.” Henry whispered in my ear before I pulled my head away to search his face. The smile gracing his face reached his eyes, letting me know he was fully onboard with this position. “Unless its too uncomfortable for you.”

“No… No, it’s not that.” I tried to relax. This was the closest we had gotten other than when we were hugging in the ocean. His hand smoothed down my back, sending tingles up my spine. Being this close to him was shorting out my brain and I couldn’t think straight. His finger under my chin had me looking back at him, his eyes searching mine for what might be wrong. “I just… don’t want to squish you.”

“Trust me, you won’t.” Henry laughed. I had to laugh at my reason too. This man was the strongest he had ever been and could easily bench me plus some. He cupped my cheek after tucking my hair away from my face. “How about this? If during the night either of us gets uncomfortable, I will sleep with Kal. Just say the word, and I’ll move.”

“Okay.” I said quietly, scared he would move now. I really was enjoying being this close to him. Though I am positive sleeping beside Kal wouldn’t be a new thing for him, I would feel bad kicking him out of the warm sleeping bag. Henry’s eyes searched mine again, making sure I was 100% okay with this.

“Oh. And to warn you, Kal snores.” Henry chuckled, wrapping his arms around me again, pulling my weight fully onto him. I hadn’t even noticed I was trying to hold myself off him until he did that.

“I remember.” I laughed, reaching over to give the Akita a pat good night, before tucking myself into Henry’s body. I was about to tuck my face into his neck, probably about to shock him with my cold nose, but I wanted one more thing.

I lifted my head back up, looking down into Henry’s blue eyes, getting momentarily lost. He looked up at me, his eyebrows raised in question. I smiled, and slowly lowered my face to his, pressing a warm kiss to his lips. I savoured the way our lips moved against each other, the way his tongue gently explored my mouth, getting reacquainted. The kiss wasn’t rushed, but it still made my toes curl and my skin tingle with goosebumps. The passion was slow burning, drawn out in long languid reverence.

As far as good night kisses went, this one was my favourite. Probably because it was our first true good night kiss. It wasn’t the chaste one we had offered each other at the beach hotel. This one was a kiss people more familiar with each other shared. I couldn’t help the grin on my face when we pulled away from each other. It was still on my face when I tucked my face into his neck, biting my slightly swollen lip, going over what just happened in my mind.

“Good night, sweetheart.” Henry whispered, smoothing my hair down before kissing the top of my head. I pressed a kiss to his neck, whispering the words back to him, silently praying Kal would hog his sleeping bag tomorrow night and we would have to do this again.

[prof-peach]

Has any wild pokemon came to your place to seek help, and if so what was it like?

Well yes actually, because of our location and the distance between us and johto, we get a lot of Pokemon who stop for a rest between land masses at our lab. If they come in injured from battle, or sick from bad weather on their travels, the other Pokemon that hang around the island will pick up on it, and direct them to one of the professors, usually whoever’s closest at the time.

We get an awful lot of water types as you’d expect but I don’t really deal with them, that’s Professor Grey’s area, he’s not nervous in water like I am so he’s able to give more accurate and effective care. I will help from time to time but only really on the little land dwelling ones. The oddest water type we had turn up was a lotad. Hear me out, we’re no where near Hoenn, like at all, we don’t get them in johto, at least not wild, and the ones we get given are Pokemon we know and have helped, so we knew it wasn’t one of those. This little thing washes up on the beach along the north side, and if you’ve read anything about the island before you’ll know the North is fenced off, a zone for Pokemon to go to get away from the public, and is generally quite hostile, and off limits to guests without explicit permission and a guide. So this Lotad is found, luckily by a reasonable middle aged Ursaring, and suddenly we get a knock on the door in the middle of the night, this big mountain of a bear Pokemon holding the smallest little lotad, the thing was full of seawater and had burns form the salt and mould forming. He spent a week and a half in the ICU with strict climate control and a course of medication tailored to his species, all the while we’re all scratching our heads about how he got to us. We’d had no visitors so he couldn’t be a stray or released Pokemon, the weather was good so no storm could have carried him to us, he was alone, no trainer, no friends, no family. Ships pass through but could he have jumped off and ended up with us? We all have our theories, I personally think he got carried a fair way from home by a flying Pokemon, and dropped by accident. Either way he’s since become the little champion of our care program, he’s recovered in leaps and bounds and lives a very comfortable life in th entropic house, in the indoor pools with some Relicanth and the other little lotads, a few surskit. Happy Pokemon for sure now, we’ve had a porygon translate what he has to say but he doesn’t remember anything before waking up in the labs care unit. We just count him as the luckiest Pokemon we know, considering the terrible shape he came to us in. Must have been floating around the ocean for days.

We also get a heap load of flying types that rest between locations during migration, some of those do seem to have the odd issue which we tend to, our favourites are the migrating Fletchling that fly on through for the winter, they give a fiery display, filling the sky with little embers. Sure, fire risk, but also consider this, beautiful? We have water Pokemon on standby during this time, and usually anything that catches is caught pretty quickly. I do find the flying types will return. When some come through, and we notice them and help where we can, they’ll eventually leave to continue their journey, and then a year later they come back again, this time with families, friends, some even bring their whole flock, just because we built some trust with them that one time. We have pidgeot that repeatedly return to the island, all because we’ve patched up like several members of their family, they’re regulars to us now, and even between seasons of migration, they’ll return to see if we can help, or offer information should they encounter issues. I must say once one knows about you, the rest do pretty fast. I will forever remember fondly, gardening in peace, not a single problem to be dealt with, and then the sky went black and I couldn’t see the ground anymore, because SO MANY murkrow had landed all at once, they blocked out the light, they covered every post, every piece of dirt, all by demolished the berries I’d been growing all season. Why you may ask? Because I had hatched one random egg I found on my travels, had no idea at the time what it was, and I carried this thing around with me everywhere. When it hatched it was a little Murkrow, a little different in appearance, with a striking flash of blue under his little wings. I gave the thing a good start and sent it on it’s way. No big deal.

Wrong.

This little one was a lost egg from a boss Honchkrow’s clutch, how did that big boss bird know it was his child? He was the start of the variation, the bright blue under his wings. So yeah, he told them all about us, and how to get to the island, and we ended up with a HUGE amount of them, trying to bring things to repay the debt. Some found shiny items, others berries, unusual mushrooms, neat looking twigs, bottle caps, pins, buttons. To this day some of those Pokemon still hang out here, kind of dug it enough to want to stick around I guess. We don’t mind, they’re actually really good natured, and helpful too!

We get the odd dragon fly by, alwasy alerts the island’s heavy hitters when one touches down. Recently we’ve had Garchomp breeding here, they seem to like the mountains, and our resident female was putting out her siren song for a mate all spring. Summer they paired up, laid eggs, now we have little Gibble running around somewhere safe. Last actual dragon type to stop in for some help was a rather thin and dull coloured looking Charizard, had flown too far, exerted itself too much, came crashing into the labs big front doors, nearly took a patient clean out, definetly needed to replace some tables after that. With some good dinners and a bit of TLC they got fat and strong again, and went on their way.

I think once you help out a few Pokemon, word spreads, we get a lot of unusual clients, most of which have stowed away on passing ships, coming to us for information, support, and care. For instance last week we had a Krabby who came in off a cargo ship, swam to the island, made its way to the lab, SAT IN THE WAITING ROOM, legit was happy to wait, all because he had a broken claw and couldn’t get it off to make way for a new one to regrow. We helped him out and he went on home, we got a ship to pull in to return him home luckily.

This week there’s been a Magnezone and a Jolteon magnetised together, they asked for a lift from a visiting trainer who obliged, they’ve since been seperated and sent on their way, back home safe to the wild. Happens from time to time. Who knows what next week will bring haha. Every days interesting here I must say that much.

[mikauzoran]

Lukadrien: Zebras Can’t Change Their Stripes: Chapter Three

Read it on AO3: Zebras Can’t Change Their Stripes: Chapter Three

“It’s not too close to where you used to live, is it?” Luka inquired nervously as they climbed the stairs to the third floor of the apartment building in the fifteenth arrondissement, not far from the Eiffel Tower.

“No, it’s fine,” Adrien assured, taking in how clean and in good repair everything was despite the building being older. “They leveled the mansion and built new homes on the lot, so it’s not a problem. I don’t think I could take seeing that building, that wall of windows, ever again, but the area itself is fine.”

“Oh, good,” Luka breathed in relief. “The last thing I’d want is to take you somewhere full of painful reminders.”

“No, this is wonderful,” Adrien stressed. “This place is really nice, and I’m so grateful to you for taking me in. Seriously. Thank you.”

“Not at all,” Luka assured with an encouraging grin as they made their way down the hall to the eighth and last door on the left-hand side. ���I cannot stress what a weight off my mind it is to have you close by so that I can see that you’re safe. I’m happy to have you.”

Adrien looked down at his scuffed-up shoes as Luka pulled out the key.

“I’m really sorry to have worried you,” Adrien mumbled, shame making the tips of his ears burn. “I guess I was so caught up in my own head that I didn’t stop to think about how what I was doing would affect anyone else. I didn’t think I really mattered to anyone.”

Luka tamped down the surge of anger he suddenly felt towards Gabriel Agreste for all the years of neglect Adrien had suffered that made him think that his existence had so little impact on others.

He reached out and ruffled Adrien’s hair. “It’s okay. Apology accepted. Just stop and think next time you’re considering dropping off the face of the earth without telling anyone.”

“Sorry,” Adrien repeated, leaning into Luka’s touch.

“No worries,” Luka reiterated, increasing the pressure. “I think we all get it. Your whole life got smashed to pieces, and there was a lot going on. No one’s mad at you. We all know you were trying your best just to survive, but we were worried and mad at our own inability to do anything. Nino is still a wreck, and that Wayem guy you were friends with was completely inconsolable. Alya, Kagami, Chloé…Marinette…”

Both Luka and Adrien flinched at the last name.

“…a lot of people care about you,” Luka sighed, moving his hand to scratch behind Adrien’s ear, slipping back into their old casual intimacies as if no time had passed.

“It’s good to know that,” Adrien replied in a weak voice, swallowing back a fresh round of tears.

Internally, he laughed at the fact that he’d cried more in that single day than he had in the preceding year.

“I’m going to need to reach out to them later tonight,” Luka tentatively informed.

Adrien’s head shot up, his eyes wide in alarm.

“I don’t have to tell them you’re staying with me or even that you’re back in Paris, but they need to know that you’re safe and well,” Luka insisted, not taking no for an answer. “You don’t have to talk to them until you’re ready, but I know what it feels like to wonder if you’re dead, Adrien. They deserve to know you’re safe.”

Reluctantly, Adrien nodded. “I see your point. …I was thinking about getting back in touch with Nino and Marinette, actually. I’m not ready right now, but…yeah. I don’t want to worry them any more than I already have.”

“Good,” Luka sighed, opening the apartment door. “That settles it, then.”

He was just about to step inside when he suddenly remembered the state his apartment was currently in after The Breakup.

Luka hurriedly closed the door and groaned.

“Problem?” Adrien inquired hesitantly, eyebrows scrunching together in concern.

Luka rested his forehead against the door and took a deep breath. “…Uh…yeah. I kind of forgot that the apartment is sort of a dump right now. I think Josie mentioned how I just broke up with the woman I had planned on spending my life with six days ago?”

Adrien winced. “Oh. That’s… Sorry.”

“Yeah.” Luka blew out a long breath, straightening up and looking at Adrien apologetically. “I’m so sorry. It’s not normally like this, I swear. I just haven’t been functioning this past week.”

“It’s okay,” Adrien assured with a look of utter sympathy and understanding on his face as he reached out and placed a comforting hand on Luka’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Sorry,” Luka repeated, voice raw as all the emotions he’d been pushing to the back of his mind resurfaced. “Sorry I’m kind of going to pieces on you out in the hallway when you’ve got so much on your own plate.”

“Shh,” Adrien soothed, coaxing Luka gently into his arms.

Luka was a little embarrassed at how quickly he melted into Adrien’s touch.

“It’s okay,” Adrien cooed, starting to rub soothing circles between Luka’s shoulder blades. “I’m really sorry that you’re having a rough time, but, honestly, the ugly part of me feels a lot better knowing that even you can be a mess sometimes.”

“I’m glad you’re able to take comfort in my suffering,” Luka laughed through tears, giving Adrien a squeeze.

“It’s just that you’re always so chill and mature and levelheaded,” Adrien teased. “You were always the one comforting me and giving advice and making me feel better about the crappy things in my life. It’s good to feel like maybe I have an opportunity to be there for you now.”

“That’s valid,” Luka agreed into Adrien’s shoulder. “…Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Adrien hummed happily, giving Luka a pat on the back.

With another sigh, Luka straightened up and opened the door. “I promise you I’m going to clean all this up starting tomorrow. Going forward, I won’t leave a mess in the common areas.”

Adrien clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. “Luka, it’s seriously not a big deal. I am literally homeless; I’m not going to judge your housekeeping lapses while you’re going through a major breakup. It’s fine.”

“It doesn’t feel fine,” Luka grumbled as Adrien stepped into the apartment and got his first look at the carnage. “And you’re not homeless anymore,” Luka chided, stepping inside and locking the door behind them. “You live here now, so welcome home.”

“Thank you,” Adrien chuckled, taking in the dirty laundry, soiled dishes, pizza boxes, Chinese takeaway cartons, and half-eaten junk food refuse.

“Oh my God,” Luka groaned. “Please don’t look at it. I swear I don’t live like this all the time. I’ll clean it all up tomorrow.”

Adrien turned to Luka and pulled him into a quick hug. “I’m sorry that you’re suffering. It’s okay not to be able to stay on top of everything all the time.”

Luka was stunned into silence, not sure how to feel.

Adrien pulled back and smiled, ignoring the mess and asking, “So, where do I sleep?”

“Here,” Luka replied gratefully as he stepped over the rubbish littering the living room floor to guide Adrien to the third door on the right wall. “Kitchen is there, obviously.” He pointed straight back through the apartment.

It was an open concept layout, so the living room seamlessly faded into what would have been a nice little kitchen area with an island in the middle as a workspace and a full stove, oven, refrigerator, microwave, dishwasher, cabinets, pantry, and sink…if not for the fact that, like the rest of the apartment, it looked like a disaster zone at the moment.

“That first door is my bedroom, the middle one is the bathroom, and your room is here,” Luka oriented Adrien, motioning to the other two doors in turn before opening the one that led to Adrien’s new bedroom.

“It’s kind of spartan at the moment,” Luka informed apologetically as Adrien peeked in.

It was a more-than-reasonably-sized room with generous closet space. As far as furniture went, there was a desk, a desk chair, a bed, and a nightstand. The walls were bare of decoration, and the mattress didn’t have any sheets.

Still, it was a nice room, even in its sparseness. Natural light poured in through the large windows, making it feel warm and cheerful.

“This is really nice,” Adrien whispered, voice cracking.

Luka looked to him with a tentative smile. “You like it?”

Adrien nodded, not trusting his voice.

“Good.” Luka’s hesitant grin grew into a full-blown beam. “How much stuff do you have back at your room at the hostel where you were staying? I just want to know if we need to take the car or the motorcycle or what to go get it.”

Adrien shifted uncomfortably. “Um…nothing, actually.”

Luka blinked as he did a doubletake of the small satchel Adrien had with him.

He took a deep breath and decided, “We’re going shopping.”

Adrien’s eyes grew as big as marbles for the nth time that day. “Luka, I really don’t need anything. I already feel bad what with—”

“—Hush.” Luka pressed his fingers to Adrien’s lips. “At the very least, we need to go get you some bed linens because I don’t have clean sheets to give you to sleep on. You also need a phone so people can get ahold of you for band stuff. Those things are non-negotiable.”

Adrien bit his lip, looking more and more uncomfortable as he realized that there was no way to get himself out of placing himself further in debt to Luka.

“I’ll pay you back someday,” he promised, not sure how he would ever make good on his word.

Luka’s eyes softened, and he gave Adrien a warm smile and a pat on the head. “You don’t have to, but, if it makes you feel better, okay.”

Adrien nodded resolutely. “I will pay you back.”

 The first stop was a little SFR phone boutique, and then Luka took them to a nearby Monoprix department store.

Adrien picked out an inexpensive, plain bed set, but Luka put it back and steered Adrien over to the pricier, better quality sets with fun designs.

“I don’t want you sleeping on scratchy sheets,” Luka chided affectionately. “I know you haven’t had much these past few years, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve nice things. And while I’m aware that the options here aren’t that impressive, I want you to pick something comfortable in a colour or pattern that you like, okay?”

Adrien hesitated for a moment before going over to the more expensive sets and picking out a dark blue one with a white shooting star pattern. He looked to Luka for approval, and Luka smiled, nodding.

“Perfect. Now let’s get you some clothes,” Luka announced in satisfaction.

“I have clothes,” Adrien insisted, mortified.

Luka rolled his eyes. “When was the last time you got new clothes? I know they don’t have the best selection here, but you could probably use some new socks, underwear, pyjamas, shirts, am I right?”

Adrien pointedly didn’t look at Luka.

With a sad, sympathetic expression, Luka went over to Adrien and tugged gently on his sleeve. “Please let me buy you new clothes?” Luka pleaded softly, voice just above a whisper. “I haven’t been able to do anything for you this whole time, and I feel like, based on what you said, there were times when you really needed someone. Please let me try to make up for not being there for you. Can you do that for me?”

Adrien looked up at Luka, scrutinizing his face for a minute. “To be clear, I’m not asking you to do all this for me. Because I don’t need this. This is all your idea. I’m not making you spend all this money on me.”

Luka nodded, patiently confirming, “That’s right.”

“I’m letting you do this as a favour to you,” Adrien added uneasily.

Luka kept nodding. “Yes, and I would be extremely grateful if you’d let me.”

“And you’re doing this because you’re my friend and you care for me and you feel guilty?” Adrien verified. “Not because you pity me or you’re looking down on me or anything?”

Luka placed his hands on Adrien’s shoulders and stared him intently in the eye. “What I feel for you isn’t pity. It’s empathy and compassion, Adrien. You didn’t look down on or pity me when I was broke, did you?”

“No, of course not,” Adrien scoffed at the ridiculous notion.

“No,” Luka agreed. “You didn’t. You may have felt bad that you took for granted things that I went without, but you didn’t pity me. You were compassionate, and you shared what you had with me. You bought me gifts that I couldn’t afford for myself. I still treasure the things you gave me. They’re proof that you cared about me and wanted me to have nice things.”

“Oh,” Adrien whispered as realization dawned on him.

“Do you kind of get it now?” Luka chuckled, patting Adrien on the shoulder before stepping back.

Adrien pursed his lips, took a deep breath, and nodded. “Okay. I think…we’re probably going to have to have this conversation a couple times in the coming weeks until it really sinks in, but…I think I get it, so…let’s go shopping?” he replied uncertainly.

Luka smiled, taking Adrien by the hand and leading him to the men’s clothing section.

 They picked up a week’s worth of new clothes for Adrien and then stopped by the personal care section for bath and grooming supplies.

When Adrien insisted that he didn’t strictly need an item, Luka took to saying, “I’m buying you this because I love you”.

Adrien may have protested more frequently than necessary just to get Luka to say it.

Even back when Adrien had a home and a family, he hadn’t really heard “I love you” that much. His friends (Nino especially) had often reminded Adrien that he was loved, but it had been years since he’d last been told that.

They walked past the toy section, and Adrien stopped when a bin of stuffed animals caught his eye.

He reached out to stroke a black cat plushie, and Luka saw the wistful look in Adrien’s eyes.

Luka picked up the stuffed animal and inspected it.

“I used to have one,” Adrien hastily explained, looking away. “Nathalie gave it to me for my eighth birthday to keep me company because my father had to go out of town on a business trip and my mother went with him, so I was alone for my birthday. I named him Chat Noir…. Seeing that just reminded me.”

“Do you want this?” Luka inquired, gazing at Adrien with bottomless affection.

Adrien’s eyes said “yes”, but Adrien shook his head, responding, “No, I don’t need it.”

“That’s not what I asked,�� Luka chuckled, tucking the stuffed animal into the crook of Adrien’s arm. “I asked if you wanted it.”

Adrien opened his mouth to protest, but Luka cut him off.

“I’m buying you this so that every time you look at it, you’ll remember that you’re loved,” he informed, taking Adrien by the hand and tugging him along.

“Thank you,” Adrien whispered, hugging Chat Noir the Third to his chest and smiling to himself.

 The next stop was the groceries section on the ground floor.

“I really need to do the shopping,” Luka groaned. “I’m pretty sure a sentient lifeform is growing in the fridge at this point, but I’m completely wiped today.”

He sent Adrien an apologetic look. “I kind of drank myself stupid last night, and I’m still feeling it a little. Let’s just get you some snacks to tide you over until I can go grocery shopping tomorrow morning. We can get takeaway tonight for dinner, if that’s okay.”

“I’m good,” Adrien assured. “I really don’t need anything. If you recall, I didn’t exactly get snacks much growing up either.”

“Well, take a look around and see if anything looks good,” Luka urged. “At the very least, we can pick up some mint tea and prepackaged salads.”

Adrien’s eyes grew large and misty. “You remembered.”

Luka burst out laughing, and he reached out to tussle Adrien’s hair. “Perfect Fifth, you have the most bizarre comfort foods ever. Of course I remember them. Come on.”

He motioned for Adrien to follow him to the corresponding sections of the store.

On the way, he watched Adrien closely, taking note of the things that seemed to catch his eye.

“We should have sushi sometime,” he remarked as he noticed Adrien eying the sushi bar longingly. “Would you like that?”

“I would love that,” Adrien sighed wistfully, his mouth already watering. “I haven’t had sushi in forever.”

“Maybe tomorrow for lunch before rehearsal,” Luka suggested. “We can pick some up while we’re here for groceries.”

“I’d like that,” Adrien repeated softly. “Thank you for being so considerate.”

Luka responded with a grin and playfully bumped Adrien’s shoulder with his own. “Sure thing.”

The next thing that grabbed Adrien’s attention was the cheese monger’s counter.

He looked at it sadly, his eyes growing damp once more.

“Oh my gosh,” Luka exclaimed as realization hit him. “We need to pick up some Camembert for Plagg, don’t we?”

Adrien’s hand flew out to grab Luka’s arm and stop him as he made to go over to the cheese section.

Luka frowned as the tears started to spill down Adrien’s cheeks.

“Adrien? What’s wrong?” Luka cooed.

Adrien shook his head and held up his ringless right hand.

Luka gasped. “What happened?”

Adrien kept shaking his head as he ruefully bit out the words with some difficulty. “I didn’t feel like I deserved him after everything that happened…so I gave him back to her before I left.”

Luka’s already pale skin lost its remaining colour as his stomach turned sour.

He cursed under his breath.

“And here, this whole time, I was making myself feel better by telling myself that at least you had Plagg to look after you, but…” Luka cursed again, shaking his head and getting his thoughts in order. “Do you want me to call her? I’ll call her and drive over there right now and get him back for you.”

Adrien looked up at Luka in surprise. “You…she told you?”

Luka averted his eyes and shrugged. “I figured it out. Do you want me to go get Plagg for you?”

Adrien bit his lip, looking like he was just about to say yes, but then his eyes darkened, and he shook his head. “I don’t think I can face him just yet either, but when you text Marinette later that I’m alive, could you please tell her to tell Plagg that I’m sorry and I miss him?”

“I can do that,” Luka promised, already knowing that he was going to go see Marinette the next day and get Plagg from her so that he’d be on hand the second Adrien was ready to be reunited with him.

Luka realized that the fact that he was so ready to face her again on Adrien’s behalf was rather telling.

He’d never exactly stopped loving Adrien, and he feared his feelings were just waiting in the wings to flare up at any moment.

 They returned to the apartment and spent the rest of the day getting Adrien settled in. By the time Luka pushed the rubbish off of the couch so that they could sit down and eat their dinner that evening, they were both exhausted.

“After I eat, I’m going to my room and collapsing,” Luka informed, tucking into his carton of kung pao chicken.

“Sorry to have worn you out,” Adrien apologized sheepishly as he started on his vegetable lo mein. “I really appreciate everything you did for me today.”

“No worries,” Luka assured with a half-full mouth. “I wore myself out before you were even in the picture…and, honestly, today is the best day I’ve had in a long time.”

Adrien tipped his head in surprise. “Wait. Really?”

Luka nodded. “Even before The Breakup, I was getting pretty down…. She’s in love with someone else. She’s always been in love with someone else, but I’ve never held it against her. I thought it was okay because it wasn’t like she was actually cheating on me or anything. She couldn’t be with him, so she settled for me, and I thought that was okay because that was still her picking me, but…it’s been years, and she’s still pining after the ghost of him.”

He looked up at Adrien with a smile that had been beaten down but still gotten back up on its feet. “I thought it was okay, but it wasn’t, and it had really started to wear down on me. So, today was actually really good. Concentrating on you is helping me get my mind out of the dark place it’s been living for a while now.”

“I’m really glad I could help in some small way,” Adrien replied with a tentative smile. “I hope you have more good days going forward.”

Luka nodded, going back to his dinner. “I’m sure I will. There are still going to be days where I drink myself into a coma and can’t get out of bed, but there will be days when I’m a functioning human being too. Maybe having you around will give me the kick in the pants I need to shower regularly and keep the apartment clean and eat all the meals I’m supposed to. I always do better when I’m focused on someone else.”

“I’ve seen you focus on other people too much and completely neglect yourself,” Adrien hummed softly. “…But I’m going to be around for a while, so I guess if I see you doing that, I can nag you about it.”

“Please feel free to do so,” Luka snorted in laughter. “Goodness knows I need it.”

He scooted over on the couch, cautiously invading Adrien’s space.

Adrien surreptitiously inched closer.

Luka closed the gap until they were shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh. “Do you mind snuggling?” he asked even though Adrien was already leaning into Luka, resting his head against Luka’s shoulder.

“Snuggling is my favourite thing,” Adrien laughed. “You know that. How many times have I used you as a body pillow?”

“Things change. You never know,” Luka replied with a shrug. “I don’t ever want to do something that makes you uncomfortable. I know you’ve historically had a hard time telling people no and where your boundaries are.”

“Thanks,” Adrien whispered, voice full of gratitude. “But I think maybe you and I can just pick up where we left off, if that’s okay. You still feel like you, and you make me feel like a person I haven’t been in a long time.”

Luka tipped his head to the side, resting it against Adrien’s. “Is that a good thing?”

“Yeah,” Adrien hummed. “I think it is. I’ve grown a lot these past few years, but there are parts of myself that I feel like I’ve lost that I miss. There are a lot of things I want to lose and a lot of things I want to get back, so I think this is good.”

“Good,” Luka sighed, a small smile curling up the corners of his lips. “I’m feeling kind of needy lately. Snuggling sounds really good.”

“I’ve got you covered,” Adrien assured.

They ate their dinner in happy, warm silence and lingered for a while after they were through, just enjoying the company.

Finally, Luka persuaded himself to get up and take the empty containers over to the nearly overflowing rubbish bin in the kitchen.

He winced as embarrassment reared its head again. “I promise I’m going to clean all of this up tomorrow.”

“No worries,” Adrien chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s seriously fine, Luka.”

“It’s really not,” Luka grumbled. “I am not my mother. I do not go on drinking sprees and let trash pile up around me. I am a functional, responsible adult.”

Adrien got up and went over to Luka, resting a supportive hand on his arm. “You are a functional, responsible adult…and you need to cut yourself some slack. Be nice. You’re going through some stuff. That’s what you used to tell me, right?”

Adrien shot him a bolstering smile, and Luka’s lips twitched just a little in response.

“Thank you, Adrien. It’s just…this,” He waved his arms to encapsulate the entire mess of an apartment. “is not me.”

“I know,” Adrien replied matter-of-factly. “And you can fix it when you feel better. Now, off to bed with you.”

Luka pulled Adrien into a quick side-hug. “You’re the best.”

Adrien cracked up. “Please tell me that often. My self-esteem could use the boost.”

“Noted,” Luka assured, turning to head to his room.

He paused when he suddenly remembered and reached for his wallet.

“Before I forget: apartment key, credit card, cash,” he announced as he fished each item out of his wallet and set it down on one of the only clean spots on the kitchen island.

Adrien gawked. “What’s all this?”

Luka nodded to the apartment key. “I’ll have a duplicate made for you tomorrow, but if you need to go out before then, you’ll need the key. If you discover that you don’t have something you need, there’s money. I mean, I’m sure we forgot something. If you need me, just knock on my door, and if I don’t respond, come in and shake me because I’m probably stone cold passed out,” Luka concluded with a shrug.

Adrien kept staring, looking back and forth between Luka and the money in disbelief. “Aren’t you afraid of me just taking off with that?”

Luka burst out laughing. “Why would you do that?”

Adrien shrugged. “I don’t know. I told you earlier that I stole money from my aunt. You’d think you’d be a little more cautious.”

Luka rolled his eyes. “Have you ever stolen something you didn’t need? Have you ever stolen from someone who couldn’t take the loss?”

Slowly, Adrien began to shake his head.

“Okay then,” Luka declared as if that settled it. “Besides, is it stealing if I gave this stuff to you?”

Adrien pursed his lips and furrowed his brow. “…No?”

“No,” Luka agreed, reaching out to pat Adrien on the head. “You’re free to go whenever you want, Adrien. I would never keep you here against your will, but I think you do want to be here, and I want you here too, so I hope you’ll stay.”

Confusion slowly overtook Adrien’s expression and he found himself asking the question that had been in the back of his mind all day: “Is all of this for real?”

Luka’s eyebrow arched questioningly. “What do you mean?”

Adrien swallowed and motioned around them. “All of this. Is this really…free? No strings attached? You really don’t want anything from me? You’re not expecting me to do anything to pay you back?”

Luka shook his head, giving Adrien what he hoped was a calming smile. “Completely free,” he assured. “No strings.”

Adrien frowned harder. “Sorry. I just…I know you’re telling the truth. I know I can trust you. I do trust you. I just haven’t been able to trust anyone in a long time, so this is really hard for me to just accept all of your kindness.”

Luka nodded, trying to imagine what it must have been like for Adrien, not even able to trust his own family. “It’s okay. I’m not offended or anything. You’ve been through a lot, and even though I have no way of really understanding that, I respect it.”

Adrien swallowed, hesitating before confessing, “People have tricked me before. People have pretended to be nice, but they weren’t actually nice. I know you’re not like that, but…people who have been nice to me have always expected things I’m not interested in giving, so I’m just kind of anxious because people get mean when you tell them no after they’ve been nice to you.”

Luka’s jaw dropped, and fear surged up into his chest. “Adrien,” he gasped. “Are you okay? Did someone…?”

Adrien shook his head rapidly. “No. No. I mean…not successfully. I’m fine. Just…you know. Close calls. It’s made me painfully aware of how vulnerable I am, though.”

He winced. “It made me realize how dangerous it can be for someone whom no one cares about. If something happened to me, no one would come looking or ask questions. It’s scary once you realize no one’s looking out for you. It makes you hesitant to trust people.”

Luka stepped forward, pulling Adrien into a hug. “Well, it’s not like that anymore, so you don’t have to be scared. You have friends here. Old ones you just need to reconnect with and new ones like Josie and Jacob and Marc. You’re safe, Adrien.”

Luka pulled back to look Adrien in the eye to make sure he was hearing what Luka was saying. “And this is your home now, not just mine. That room is your room. I’m not going to barge in uninvited or mess with your things. That’s your space, and you have door-locking privileges. Same goes for the bathroom. I want you to feel safe here.”

“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” Adrien assured, smiling peacefully as he rested his head on Luka’s shoulder and gave him a grateful squeeze. “Sorry I’m kind of busted up. The world is sort of mean.”

“I know. Don’t worry. Everyone is a little busted up in some way or another. It’s not just you,” Luka informed.

“Thanks,” Adrien sighed as he pulled away. “Now go get some rest. You look like you got hit by a truck.”

A peal of laughter took Luka by surprise. “That is exactly what I’ve always wanted you to say to me.”

“I’ll bet.” Adrien smirked. “Go sleep.”

“What are you going to do?” Luka had to wonder.

“Monopolize your bathtub for at least an hour and then watch anime on my phone,” Adrien answered without batting an eye.

“You like baths?” Luka snickered. “Why am I just now finding this out about you?”

Adrien shrugged, his smirk growing wider. “My bathtub was one of the few things I loved about my previous domicile, and I’ve been deprived of baths for nearly five years at this point. Please take this as notice that I’m annexing your bathtub.”

“Fair enough,” Luka conceded without a fight, amused at the simple things that could bring Adrien pleasure.

“Also, I take long, hot showers, so prepare for your water bill to skyrocket,” Adrien warned.

“Noted.” Luka relaxed as Adrien seemed to become more and more comfortable making himself at home by the minute.

“And I’m going to need your Netflix password,” Adrien added to the list of demands.

Luka winced. “I don’t have Netflix.”

Adrien stared, blinked, and then cocked his head to the side. “…What?”

Luka rolled his eyes and pointed to the credit card on the counter.

Adrien looked at the card and then back to Luka. “Really?”

“Go crazy,” Luka assured. “Anything else?”

Adrien thought for a moment. “Not at present.”

“Okay. Night, night, Perfect Fifth.” He gave Adrien’s hair a tussle for good measure and turned to go.

“Good night, Orpheus,” Adrien called after him, resurrecting his own old nickname for Luka. “See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” Luka echoed, savoring those words.

[kaioken16]

L.O.R.A.S

Mallek Week 2021 Day 6

Day 6: Sburbland Word count: 1187 Character(s): Mallek Adalov, MSPA Reader

AO3 Link

AN: LORAS ‘the Land of Relics and Season’ is Mallek’s planet that I thought of, and was inspired by elements of the planet Mortis from Clone Wars, and Hidden Land/Temporal Tower from PKMD Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky.

Summary: The Rogue of Time arrives on his planet: Land of Relics and Season to rest and recharge after a long series of missions.

The setting is a strange planet, the sky was an unnatural vision, vibrant blue energy almost fire-like burns across the sky, like waves racing around the entire planet, from the view of space it appears like a current of water that swirls around the atmosphere. The landmass was a vivid looking scene, truly something out of a dream. On one side A series of vast lush fields, dense forest and green mountains, with stunning vistas. To the other side was a desert that seemed to cover half of the planet, the sands were a dark golden shade, littered by many several stone pillars, some still standing and others crumbling or in ruin.

And in between the two regions was a series of floating masses of land, mountains, they had been suspended in the air, frozen in time. And within the epicentre of the floating mountains was a structure, a tower, the stone tiling was identical to the pillars scattered throughout the desert, and had vines and plants from the forests growing in between them. Each stone in this tower was glowing a symbol that was the same blue as the energy looping around the world. Engraved over the tower’s entrance was the gear symbol.

Just then the symbol begins to glow, but rather than the calming blue, a blood red glow fills the symbol. Suddenly the great stone doors slowly opened outwards, someone was exiting the tower.

Mallek steps outside, he is dressed in his god tier robes, the red complimenting his usual blue features. Clinging to his shoulder was a slightly large gecko, its scales were a purple hue, with yellow stripes running the top of his body from its head to the end of its tail.

Along with them as a few fireflies slowly hover out the darkness of the tower they lazily fly around Mallek before flying off in various directions. The troll leaves out a short sigh, before releasing his dark blue wings, he then takes a few steps forward before stepping off the edge and taking flight.

He felt re-energized after making it back to his planet, the Land of Relics and Seasons. The tower had a healing effect on his body, like the safe point in a video game. His powers as a Rogue of Time were stronger than normal on this planet, the ability to steal time and manipulate it. He would often come here to check on the status of its consorts and after he ascended it was a way for him to recharge.

When he first arrived on his planet it was all so surreal to him, between the strange dream-like setting, that the seasons seemed to go by the time of day, during the day it beautiful green forests on the side and scorching deserts on the other, and by nightfall, those vibrant forests would be blanketed by what he can to learn as frozen water otherwise known as ‘snow’ according to his human friend. And the desert would also be a frigid wasteland, below sub-zero temperature.

The tower was the only area here on LORAS that was unaffected by the strange weather pattern. Though finding a way via the floating rocks was rather difficult pre-god tier without the convenient method of flight, with help from the lizards and fireflies he managed to find a way to safely navigate to the ancient structure.

He arrives at the forest region, zooming over the area until he comes across a structure in a large clearing. At the four corners of the building were a series of robots that were designed in Mallek’s likeness, they seem to be patrolling the area, a tall pylon that was storing electricity, which was connected to the building, which was responsible for giving it power, and of course hovering above the building was a red gate linked to the other gate located at the top of the atmosphere.

This was his hive, it had been transported here when he began his session, the exterior was a little damaged, with vines that were beginning to overgrow, despite the short time of his session LORAS’s time moves much quicker though it only affected the land rather than the living beings.

Immediately when he touches the ground, his robots’ attention is alerted to him, their blue eyes blink various colours before stopping on green and then returning to blue. An indication that they recognized him, any intruders would be met with severe punishment as he had programmed them to guard his hive against unwanted visitors. And of course, the consorts were deemed as non-threatening so they could come and go as they pleased when Mallek was off-world.

Mallek retracts his wings back and enters his hive. It was the usual mess, the same smell that he had been used to, entering his home, the gecko consort hops off Mallek’s shoulder and begins exploring, it makes several clicking noises and then several more gecko appear to have been hiding among the clutter and computer parts, they then gather forming a circle, each is a different colour, they march in a circle making noises, as they appeared to be communicating with each other.

Mallek smiles faintly at the creatures, which then spreads further when he hears a hissing noise. Slithering through a stack of clothes is a pure white snake, with blue slit eyes, Mallek crouches down and holds his arm out to his lusus, allowing to coil up his arm and wrap around his neck and shoulder. After getting more comfortable, he gets his laptop and sits on his couch. Opening his trollian, and begins to type…

-- snakeBytes [SB] began trolling AlienInvasionofOne [AIOO] --

SB: hey AIOO: Hey bro, what’s up? SB: nothing, i'm on loras right now; SB: i was feeling a little drained; SB: used too much energy during that last battle; AIOO: I can imagine… AIOO: Diemen said that you were on fire. AIOO: Metahropically I mean. AIOO: It was like you were in the zone when you’re coding or hacking. SB:ha! SB: = that so huh; SB: to be honest, yeah; SB: i guess i went a little overboard; AIOO: Yeah… You did. AIOO: You should really take it easy you know. AIOO: You’ve been god tier for a few months now but still… AIOO: It is a lot to take in, your powers are much stronger now. AIOO: Still it’s not like you to be careless. SB: yeah; SB: time != always on my side;;; SB: despite being a time player; AIOO: That was clever! AIOO: But yeah, don’t overexert yourself too much. SB: my thoughts exactly; SB: so i'm gonna take a few hours to just rest; AIOO: Okay. No worries we can talk later, try and rest up!

-- snakeBytes [SB] ceased trolling AlienInvasionofOne [AIOO] --

Mallek checks a few more things on his laptop, running a quick diagnostic before logging off. He finds his phone and lays back on his couch, playing some game on his device, checking his messages. Ignoring the noises of the consorts as they began their regular ritual, making a rhythmic noise, while his lusus curled up on his chest.

[malethirsty]

Beats, Alleys & Seats - Billy (Asphyxiation) / Kinktober 2020

Summary: Tired of coming up short at the bar, you decide to step out of your comfort zone, but when you entangle with the club’s bad guy Billy, you step becomes a massive leap. 

Warnings: Smut (21+), Bareback (Wrap Before You Tap!), Choking-BDSM (Have a safe word!)

Whilst it seems like a Gen Z thing, clubbing has been a tradition passed on through the generations, whether it be your folks at a punk rock bar, a disco lounge, or you at a nightclub with Dance music, the aim is still the same, arrive, drink till you get drunk, tipsy or have enough to still stay safe, dance around to the music, live in the moment and then leave when the times right with someone new on your arm, or head out alone, filled with the memories of how good the night was and crave the opportunity to return when you can. You had done the latter so many times that you’d become tired of constantly coming up short, so as you eschewed your usual nightlife clothes and donned something more risqué, coated in leather, striding down to the club on the side of the street of your apartment complex, one aim was on your mind: Get Thoroughly Fucked. You’d become a regular at the bar, so getting in through the line wasn’t an issue, and you were once again met with the thudding of EDM and strobe lights flashing an array of colours as people moved around in random patterns fitting their definition of the word ‘dancing’. You’d decided tonight instead of throwing yourself into the music, you’d strike right at the heart of the source of lonely patrons looking for a casual fuck: The Bar.

So you crossed over to the counter where people were collecting their drinks and moving along to tables so they could sip and relax, deciding spur of the moment on your order “Sex On The Beach please” you told the bartender, who immediately grabbed together the various juices, vodka and the cocktail shaker “Looking for some action tonight?” the tender quizzed as he shook the mixer, tossing it around a bit to wrangle the mixtures together “Yeah” you responded “You’ve got your work cut out for you. You need to approach the right person at the earliest hour, otherwise you’ll get waved on, clubbers are vicious, especially when it gets real late like now.” Whilst you nodded and gave a courteous ‘uh huh’ at his advice, innerly you realised how deep you’d have to dive in order to secure your catch of the night, however as you scanned the room, you caught sight of a table with one of the regulars drinking alone, he was wearing a leather vest, was decked in tattoos on his sleeves, and looked like he knew how to fuck someone up, both literally and sexually. You had recognised him as he was often in the bar on the nights you came, he didn’t usually stay for long, usually he’d leave with some girl, or get into a fight due to sleazy behaviour and have to be escorted out by the security guards, you knew he was hot, and had wanted to approach him before, but alongside his various exhibits, your nerves held you back, not tonight though. 

Your revery was interrupted by the bartender tapping you on the shoulder, you turned as he presented you with your cocktail of choice. You paid the tender and shot a thank you his way as he left to continue to take orders from the other patrons coming up the bar, taking the cocktail, you made your way over to your targets table, swerving around so as to not knock over your cocktail by colliding with passing raving clubbers. You eventually arrived without spilling a drop, and crossed over to the man, taking a seat on the lounge directly opposite his position on the table. He looked up as you took your seat, before staring down at his glass before commenting “Usually people ask if the seat’s taken before they sit with someone.” He seemed a bit disgruntled, brought on by the beers he’d been going through, but you didn’t come all this way to not stand your ground “If this seat had been taken, it wouldn’t be occupied for long, you’d be out dancing with the person, or fucking their brains out in the bathroom. And when were you such a stickler for this clubs rules?” He looked up “You a fucking staff member or something? Tailing me so you can get on my ass later?” You took a sip of your cocktail, the liquid seemingly giving you the confidence to retort “No just a humble fan who’s a regular here. And I’d rather you on my ass, but somewhere in private rather than get you thrown out again, eh?” “Feisty aren’t cha, I like em feisty, what’s your name pretty?” “Y/N” you responded, this was going well “Y/N” he repeated as if swishing the way it sounded around in his mouth “Well Y/N, my names Billy. You might wanna drink up before someone spikes your drink.” 

Taking his advice head on, you skulled the rest of your drink, not an easy task, given the fact your cocktail contained vodka, the Russian delicacy burning your throat as it went down. You hacked a bit, gulping for air, but you were determined to not let this break you “Damn, that shit’s strong.” You commented mattarfactly to Billy, as if you were making a comment about the weather, he raised his eyebrows, clearly impressed “Scrawny guy like you, didn’t think you’d be able to handle that, people like you pussy out and make it without the vodka so they can swig it better.” “Do they now? Well to tell you something, don’t let my looks fool you, I can take em hard.” You knew your innuendo had worked as Billy shifted on the lounge, due to the fact that his dick had begun to harden in his pants. Knowing you were getting to him, you continued “In fact, this is quite tame, but what do you expect from this bar, you have soft drinks, weak ass security, and one night stands who’s holes are so wide, they can’t even grip your dick properly.” “You’re a regular here, what does that say bout you?” Billy sharply responded. Damn, he was good, but you were better, you knew it so you did what you could to counter his smart retort “I told you, don’t let my looks fool me, I’m not one of the usual girls who flings their panties at you begging you to get your dick wet, I’m taking my time, working out what gets you off, so that when I get to ride that wave of orgasm later, I’m not the only one getting off.” “And what do I like Y/N?” Billy questioned, his voice now becoming very soft, his bravado dropping, as if testing you “You like someone to be on your wavelength, to acknowledge you, how sharp you are, how hot you are, but also someone who can sink beneath you so you are still in charge. And if you let me Billy, I can be all that and more, so, what do you say big boy?” 

Billy swallowed deeply, before letting out a heavy breath, leaning over the table he whispered in your ear “I say you should come over here, sit on my lap and give me a test ride Mr. Confident.” The dance floor at this point was packed with people, so thankfully the security couldn’t see you as you crossed over to Billy’s side of the sofa and sat on his lap, his erection prominent against the fabric of his pants. You slowly began to work yourself up and down, giving him his own personal lap dance to the thudding of the EDM coming from the speakers. It was softer in the sofa areas speakers, so you could clearly hear the pleasurable groans and encouragement Billy was whispering to you “Oh yeah Y/N, that’s right, show daddy what he’s working with.” After a slow but seductive performance, he gripped onto your ass cheeks and began to move you to the beat, a lot rougher than your initial pace “God this would feel incredible with your walls wrapped around me as I pump into your slutty ass, make you moan as I fuck you like the bitch you are, fuck!” He breathed the last part out in pleasure as he grabbed your right hand which you’d used to balance yourself on him and slid it in his pants, coming into contact with his dick, hard and pulsating in your grasp “That’s what your doing to me Y/N, you’ve made me so fucking hard, got me so close to coming in my pants.” You knew you had him in the palm of your hand now, there was no way you weren’t gonna get your back blown out tonight. “Take me out of here Billy, show me what a good time with you is really like.” He grinned at you “Now you’re really gonna get it you fucking slut, follow me.” He growled out, and gripping onto your hand, you both worked your way through the bar and made it outside, tension rising all the while. 

You walked a considerable distance across from the bar before Billy made a sharp abrupt turn into an empty alleyway, slamming you into the wall as he smashed his lips to yours. Whilst they were thin, he still made the kiss impactful, and it was easier for him to slip his tongue into your mouth, the two of you doing a mouthy tango with the other for a while until he wrenched you away “On your knees” he demanded, and adrenaline pumping through your system, you obeyed, sinking down, pulling his pants down as you went down, his thick cock dropping out, incredibly hard from both your dirty talk and the lap dance as well, precum slicked on it “While I love that your admiring my cock, it would be better if you were choking on it as I fucked your mouth.” The filth purring out of Billy was utter music to your ears, and without further ado, you sunk down onto his cock, pushing his length down as far as you could go “Yeah that’s right, get daddy all down your throat baby” Billy purred as you encased his length in your hot, wet mouth. With a good idea of how much you could handle, you began to suck, up and down you went, cries of lust coming from the bold man above you, shimmering in the dark light of the alley. “God damn, you’re fucking professional at this shit, you sure you’re not a whore?” You moved off his cock to respond “No I’m not” Billy’s hand suddenly surged down, grasping your hair and shoved you back onto his cock “I didn’t say you could stop, now you’re gonna take me right down to the base, till your lips are touching my balls” you now started to gag around him, spit flying from your throat onto his member “Fuck yeah, drool over this cock, get it wet for when I fuck you bareback, pump my load inside you!” 

As he continued to push you down on his cock, you began to get caught up in the moment, a light sensation ripping through you as you choked on his dick, whilst choking could be deadly and bad for your airways, for some reason, as you struggled to focus your breath in through your nose and not your mouth, it was as if you were floating on air, midway between the ground and the sky, you’d never experienced anything like it before but loved it immensly. Wanting Billy to experience the same high, you began to roll his balls, eliciting cries from the man above you “OH FUCK! Yeah that’s right, work those balls Y/N, Jesus Christ you’re gonna make me cum in your mouth!” You realised the sudden grip of your hair had gone, Billy’s hands now flat against the wall as he arched forwards, taking advantage, you pulled off his cock with a loud slurp, causing Billy to groan in confusion “Huh, what?” “I think you said something about wanting to fuck me, and if that’s the case, we should make the way back to your place so you can do that, I don’t want you coming until your balls deep.” Billy looked exasperated “My flat’s too fucking far, can’t I fuck you here up against the wall?” You shook your head, a better idea forming “You got a car?” Billy’s eyes began to glint as he saw where you were going “My my, aren’t you full of fuckin ideas. Alright, I’ll take you back, but” he pulled his pants back up “The spit on my cock will be your lube tonight, so you better hope it hasn’t dried by the time we get there.” 

As it turns out, it was an empty threat, as his car was parked down a couple more streets not too far from where you were. You let him walk up to the door and kept a distance as he opened the car, and pushed the front seat down. Getting in, he cocked his fingers at you, and obediently, you made your way into the car, shutting and locking the front door behind you. You straddled Billy as he rested back on his seat, whilst you pulled your shirt and pants off, giving him a show which he appreciated with a wolf whistle “Damn, you’re gonna look so pretty when you ride daddy’s dick like a dirty slut.” He growled out as you leaned down to his ear “Come on then daddy, show me what I’m working with” mimicking his flirty taunt in the bar earlier. He grinned up at you as he leaned up, pulling his best off, exposing his torso, also covered in tattoos, as you admired the art, you lifted yourself up so he could pull off his pants, leaving them in a bunch on the floor “You ready for this?” He said, grabbing onto his dick and slapping it against your ass, you nodded and he wasted no time thrusting into you, both of you crying out in pleasure, it was finally happening, you were getting fucked by a bar guy, and fuck did it feel good! You placed your hands onto his pecs, grabbing his nipples and tweaking them as you began to ride his cock, gazing down at Billy, seeing how into it he was, sweat forming on his forehead as he watched in lustful awe, mouth open and letting deep breaths out “Fuck yeah, ride that shit baby, take daddy’s cock into your ass, fuck it like it deserves to be fucked” He snaked his hands up and grabbed onto your ass, guiding you onto his cock, now setting control. You surged forwards, kissing him deeply, before moving down his neck, onto the tattoos on his torso, you began to trail your tongue around them, to the utter pleasure of the man now fucking you passionately hard “Oh fuck, damn you really like that shit?” You nodded your head up at Billy, who seemed too into it to tell you to be verbal, soon returning back to his tattoos. 

After a while, Billy’s hands left your side, making you resume the faster pace he had set, his hands trailed up to your neck, as he wrapped his big hands around your neck and pushed in harder, finding the sight of you being choked by him utterly arousing. Not that you were complaining, thanks to him, you were back on that high you had experienced in the alleyway when he pushed you onto his dick, you lost all focus of the situation, Billy’s pounding, his face, the car, everything, white spots were dancing in your vision as the lack of oxygen, sent you spiralling into a sense of a mixture of euphoria and nothingness. You had no idea how much time had passed, or even what was happening until Billy’s hand slapped you across the face, pulling you out of your revery. “I said do you like being Daddy’s fucksleeve? Answer me Y/N, or I fucking pull out and finish on your face like I should have done in the alley!” “No! No! I fucking love it!” You said in a panic, you’d come so far, that you couldn’t be left in the lurch now “Then. Why. Didn’t. You. Fucking. Answer?” Billy roughly said as he slapped his cock further into you, hitting your prostate on each stroke “I didn’t hear you, I was loving how you were choking me daddy!” It all came spilling out of your mouth before you could stop yourself, Billy suddenly halted, a mixture of shock and surprise on his face. You stayed like that for a moment before he caught his bearings and grinned at you “So you like being choked huh?” “Y-yes” you breathed out, not noticing you had been holding your breath “Oh this is gonna be so fucking nasty, but so fucking hot at the same time!” Billy cried out, like a man who’d struck gold in a mine, you had no idea what he was thinking until you heard the seatbelt being withdrawn forwards, wrapping part of it round your neck “You hit me on the chest if you need to stop, alright?” Billy told you and you nodded, showing you understood “That’s the spirit Y/N.” He said before pulling back. You began to choke again, yet under Billy’s control and full understanding of what made you tick, it didn’t hurt, once again it was like you were flying in midair, only this time it was as if you saw Billy flying across from you, at the same midrange position you were in “Fuck, you feel that Billy?” You gasped out “Fuck yeah I do! God your clenching around me so fucking tight, so fucking good for me Y/N.” He drawled out, deciding to tweak your nipples the same as you’d done to him, you drew a desperate grasp of air as you slammed your hand against the glass window which had begun to mist up. 

“Fuck Tiger, you look damn near ready to explode” Famous Last Words from Billy as high from the adrenaline, Billy’s cock, and the seatbelt contracting your neck, you came all over Billy, load after load splashing onto his tattooed torso “Fuck! Damn! You really needed that, didn’t you Y/N?” Billy loosened the seatbelt so you could respond to him, you coming slowly off of the high “Yeah, I guess I did” “Well your walls are clenching round me, so I’m ready to come as well, you gonna take all my load, take it all for me?” You nodded, though less throughly then before, a slight pain starting to form from your neck, Billy gripped onto your sides and moved you up and down as he ansi thrusted into you rougher than before, chasing his own orgasm “Fuck yes, so tight, bare down on me Y/N, fuck like that, oh fuck I’m gonna come!” Billy suddenly started groaning and growling in powerful domination as he shot load upon load, so much was filling you up, it was like a volcano had exploded in your ass. You didn’t think he would stop, but eventually the last of his load pumped into you, he let out a ragged breath, sucked one in, and let his hands give way, causing you to fall on top of him. He began to laugh “God damn Y/N, that was one of the fucking best orgasms I’ve fucking had, got to take you back to mine for Round #2.” You looked up at him “You sure you can go again? That seemed like a lot for you” He gripped your hair, albeit softer than the alleyway due to having climaxed “You don’t even know, you’ve never had a man as hot as me or can last as long as I can.” “Even if I sucked your balls instead of your dick for the second round?” You countered “Fuck now you’re asking for it, get into the seat and fasten up, I’m gonna give you a night you won’t fuckin forget!” As Billy started his car up and drove off to his apartment, you sucked in a deep breath, and looked across at him while he drove, both of you innerly counting the moments until both of you would ride the high together again. 

[tiramisiyu]

【未定事件簿】 Tears of Themis: 【千灯如昼】 Xia Yan’s A Thousand Lanterns like Daytime Date/Phonecall Translation

--

Translation Masterlist | Xia Yan Masterlist

Video: https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV13k4y127hd

My new laptop just came in today, so I was finally able to finish the last bit of the translation for this that I was missing out on!

This particular date story is very cute but also really hits you with the angst every so often. It’s hard being a Xia Yan fan, with pain lurking at every corner lmaoo

PART 1

Star Bridge Light Event 

A gentle cool wind blew away the scorching summer heat, accompanying the moon-tinted sunset. The curtain formally rose on the Star Bridge Light event tonight. 

MC: It’s so lively. 

The street vendors on the two sides of the road gave their all in announcing their wares. Tourists were squeezed in everywhere, in high spirits. The crisp sounds of rattle drums and windchimes assimilated with the racket of the crowd, so much that I couldn’t resist feeling the joy myself. 

Ever since the incident from when we were young, I’ve never attended a light festival event again. If not for Xia Yan’s invitation this time, I probably wouldn’t have had this chance as well…

--

[Flashback]

Home

Last Sunday night, I received Xia Yan’s call not long after I had finished eating dinner.

Xia Yan: MC, quick, look outside the window.

He had just spoken when I saw gorgeous colours exploding far away in the night sky through the French windows. 

MC: Such beautiful fireworks – what’s being celebrated?

Xia Yan: Did you forget? Today’s the once-a-year summer festival – the opening ceremony for the Star Bridge Light event.

MC: Is that so… looking at the direction of the fireworks, the event this year should be at the quaint block on Stellis River’s shore.

MC: It must be very lively there, right now.

Xia Yan: Yeah, I heard that the hosts started preparing for this event one month in advance. 

Xia Yan: Now that I mention it, for related light festivals… have you gone with anyone in the years that I wasn’t here?

MC: I didn’t.

Xia Yan: Really?

MC: Really, I’ve never gone ever since a certain someone nearly got lost at the light festival.

Xia Yan: Ahem – didn’t think that you would still remember…

MC: That’s for sure. After all, we even alerted the police back then.

Xia Yan: Ah, I’m begging you to be magnanimous and forgive me for being young and clueless back then.

Xia Yan: To wash away this dark history, how about… we go again? To make up for it, I’ll cover all the costs for eating, drinking, and playing games.

Xia Yan: And I can take the chance to let Peanut get some fresh air. He hasn’t seen you in a while.

MC: That should be fine…

Xia Yan: Then it’s confirmed!

[Flashback end]

--

At the end, we agreed to meet on the day of the closing ceremonies. According to Xia Yan, there would be an even more magnificent show then than at the opening ceremonies. Maybe it was because they wanted to catch this final chance, but the Star Bridge Light event was still filled with an endless stream of guests.

Xia Yan: Come closer to me – don’t get squished.

Saying this, Xia Yan blocked my front side, isolating a safe zone for me.

MC: Ah, Xia Yan, you don’t have to help me by blocking them off. With so many people, be careful that you don’t fall.

Xia Yan: Don’t worry, how could I fall? I’m a front-liner, after all. Trust in my skill a little more.

I hadn’t had the time to respond when I suddenly heard him give a muffled grunt, frowning.

Xia Yan: Ngh…

MC: What’s wrong? Were you stepped on?

Xia Yan: Nothing’s up – I was just accidentally poked by the toy in that kid’s hand.

MC: Poked? It must hurt a lot… let me see if there’s a wound.

Xia Yan dexterously dodged my hand, then rubbed his waist, deliberately putting on an embarrassed look.

Xia Yan: It doesn’t hurt – I was just startled. Do you really want to look in a public place with so many people?

MC: Yeah, I shouldn’t look.

Xia Yan: Don’t worry – I’m thick-skinned.

Xia Yan: Since they set up a lot of parent-child events for this light event, lots of parents are bringing their children over.

Xia Yan: Unlike me, you have to be somewhat careful. Though the children aren’t doing it on purpose, it’s hard to prevent them from being reckless or uncareful.

MC: Sure, I’ll be careful.

MC: Although looking at them right now, I keep feeling like I’m looking at us from the past…

MC: Right, Xia Yan, do you still remember what happened when we were little?

The suddenly-addressed Xia Yan startled, like a child who’d done something wrong, and met my gaze with particular sincerity. 

Xia Yan: That time when we were little was a special situation. I’m not someone with a bad sense of direction – I definitely won’t get lost again. 

He really was ahead of the game with his crisis awareness, but…

MC: I’m not talking about that.

Xia Yan: Huh? Then what is it?

MC: Ever since last week when we brought up that matter about getting lost, I suddenly remembered something that has never been clarified. 

Xia Yan: Eh? What thing?

MC: I faintly remember that the reason that you walked off from us back then because you were looking for something.

MC: But at the end, you only said that you couldn’t find it. From start to finish, you never told us exactly what you were looking for…

Xia Yan froze, then immediately made an “ah” sound, as if he’d come to a sudden realization. 

Xia Yan: Ah, something like that did happen.

Xia Yan: Though it’s been so long, so I actually don’t really remember.

MC: Is that so…

Though this was pardonable, I couldn’t resist sighing. I’d pestered Xia Yan a lot back then to make the truth clear. I never thought that, with the passing of time, this would be a completely unsolvable mystery. Seeing my disappointed expression Xia Yan immediately began to comfort me, half-soothing and half-persuasion.

Xia Yan: Don’t sigh. Maybe I’ll think of it after walking around soon.

After saying so, he showed an impatient expression, as if he was waiting for me to cheer up. Seeing Xia Yan like this, the disappointment in my heart was swept away in an instant.

MC: Makes sense – since we’re at the light event, then the probability of remembering it all again is very high.

Xia Yan: That’s right. This is a rare opportunity, so let’s go on this light event trip to find those memories. 

Xia Yan: Follow the great detective, and let’s head out, my Watson!

Circling in the air, the myna bird Peanut responded in squawks for a few times, thinking that it had heard its own name*. It flew far outwards, following the lights of the converged lanterns. Laughing, Xia Yan whistled to it in response, then walked into the boisterous crowd, leading me by my hand. 

I didn’t know if the answer from back then would be hidden at the end of this long road, brightly-lit by lanterns. 

TL Note:

* “Peanut” and “Watson” sound nearly identical in Chinese.

PART 2

We followed the river of people forward, doing our best to not pass by a single shop.

Exactly what was Xia Yan looking for when he was little… was it a special snack, or an interesting toy? I tried to find an answer in this year’s light festival, but I couldn’t help feeling that I was being ridiculous.

MC: (In a blink, so many years have passed…)

MC: Xia Yan, have you seen anything you’re particularly interested in?

Xia Yan: About that… I feel like it’s all pretty interesting.

Just then… I heard a stream of loud and clear geese honks.

MC: Geese? Did I imagine that?

Xia Yan: No, I heard it too. It seems like it came from there.

Xia Yan pointed to the nearby stall. After passing through the gaps in the crowd, I could see that there were many big white geese in a fenced area. They extended their long necks, cleverly ducking away from the crowd of people who tossed out rings. Sometimes, they’d even strut around, fanning out their two wings. 

MC: So this is a ring toss game? I didn’t think that the light event would keep up with the times. They’ve come up with new tricks…

Xia Yan: It seems pretty interesting.

MC: … If you looked clearly at those rows of jagged teeth in their mouths, you wouldn’t say that.

Xia Yan: Haha, if I remember correctly, didn’t you get chased and bitten by a big goose until you fell in a mud pit when we went to the countryside to visit relatives?

Xia Yan: I think it was me who noticed it first, so I pulled you out.

MC: Stop talking, stop talking – those memories are going to surge out!

Xia Yan: Calm down – it’s about time for us to take our revenge.

Xia Yan: Plus, it looks like the prizes are pretty good!

I hadn’t even had time to look at what the prizes were when Xia Yan directly waved and shouted at the boss.

Xia Yan: Boss, ten rings here.

Ring Toss Stand Boss: Sure!

MC: Xia Yan, you couldn’t be wanting to…

--

Standing in the established area, as set by the rules, Xia Yan held the rings. After comparing the distance a few times, he directly flung one out. The ring flew straight to its target, and right when it was about to land, the big white goose suddenly extended its long neck, squawking a few “caw caw” sounds at Xia Yan in demonstration.

Xia Yan: Oops.

Because of the height difference, the ring that should’ve been able to land right on the head of the big white goose, hit its neck directly. Following a severe “caw” sound, the big white goose fluttered backwards, staggering several steps before it firmly stabilized itself.

Xia Yan: Hey, are you… okay?

Accompanying Xia Yan’s gradually freezing expression, I noticed that big white goose’s attitude seemed a bit off. 

In its two beady eyes… there seemed to be killing intent.

MC: Xia, Xia Yan! I think it’s angry!

Xia Yan: Eh?!

The big white goose stuck out its neck, then rushed towards us. When it reached the fence, it jumped up with a flap of its wings, then descended in a mission-accomplished way. With a cry, the crowd of people dissipated all at once. The big white goose didn’t chase them – it just pinned a death stare on Xia Yan in front of him.

Xia Yan: MC, stay away from me.

Just when he said this, the big white goose twisted its neck as if warming up, and with a “caw caw”, it rushed at Xia Yan.

Xia Yan: Br-brother goose! Let’s discuss this nicely!

The beady eyes of the goose had been completely clouded by anger. It ruthlessly found every opportunity to peck Xia Yan with an iron beak. The boss probably had never seen a goose so intent on revenge, and was shocked silly during then.

Xia Yan: Stop your mouth! Don’t! Don’t bite there!

MC: Xia Yan, hurry and run! Don’t get caught! Or else…

Xia Yan: Don’t talk about it! If an accident happens to me, I’m handing my antiques shop for you to take over!

Xia Yan: In there, I’ve left for you… wait, don’t peck my behind!

MC: Here, there’s a basket! Hurry and trap it!

Maybe it was because the goose had gotten tired of pecking Xia Yan, or maybe it was because my words attracted its anger, but it changed its target and rushed towards me.

MC: Ahhhhhh don’t come over here –

Seeing the direction that the goose had changed to, the aura surrounding Xia Yan immediately changed. He stared at that goose “murderously”, as if the person who cut a sorry figure fleeing just now wasn’t him.

Xia Yan: You better slow down!

I hadn’t even had the chance to escape when Xia Yan seized the goose’s neck from behind, then turned around, sending it straight back into the fence with a fling of his hand. Right then, not just the crowd of people, but even the originally restless goose crowd became still.

MC: !!!

It took me a while to regain my bearings from the shock.

MC: Xia Yan, did you get any pecking injuries on your body? Does it hurt?

Xia Yan: Nothing’s wrong. Though that big white goose looks scary, compared to people, its ability to hurt is limited.

MC: That’s good. I’d originally thought you wouldn’t be able to handle it.

MC: Didn’t think it would end up being the opposite. Your posture when throwing the goose was just like that “Discobolus” sculpture.

Xia Yan: Hahaha, it wasn’t that exaggerated, right…

Xia Yan: I’d originally wanted to let it peck me so it could let go of its anger, but I didn’t think that it would actually rush at you. Good thing that in the end, it just looked scary without actually being dangerous.

Xia Yan: Otherwise, this goose might have been sent to the dinner table.

Hearing Xia Yan’s last sentence, I couldn’t help but flinch for that goose.

--

In the end, though we didn’t get a ring on a goose, the boss gave Xia Yan the right to choose a prize for capturing the goose.

Xia Yan: I’ll have this one.

MC: A comb?

I looked at that sandalwood comb, feeling somewhat surprised at his choice.

Xia Yan: Yeah. The craftsmanship of this comb is pretty good – it’s not like those assembly-line-made wholesale ones. 

Ring Toss Stand Boss: Young people sure have good eyes for these things. I found this batch of ours from an old craftsman in the village – it was completely handmade.

Ring Toss Stand Boss: This craft has already been passed down through several generations. Legend says that the god of the land used the combs made by his family, before he was granted godhood. 

MC: The god of the land?

Ring Toss Stand Boss: That’s right. Young lady, you must not have known that the origin of the Star Bridge Light event has to do with the god of the land.

The boss started chattering, and was just about to unleash a torrent of local knowledge on me when he was cut short by Xia Yan in a timely manner.

Xia Yan: Boss, you should focus on watching over your stall, lest those geese run out again.

As he spoke, Xia Yan stuffed the prize straight into my hand.

Xia Yan: For you.

I held the comb that he had exchanged for the peril he’d faced, and suddenly felt that it had some sort of heavy weightiness.

MC: You’re giving this to me?

Xia Yan: Mm. You said before that recently, you’ve been losing sleep. Aside from chatting with you, there doesn’t seem to be much else that I can help with.

Xia Yan: I consulted a doctor, and he said that lightly combing your hair before sleeping can improve your sleep…

As Xia Yan spoke, his gaze started becoming erratic. Seeing this, the boss on the side laughed.

Ring Toss Stand Boss: Young man, you didn’t need to bother with that.

Ring Toss Stand Boss: The comb is a personal item. Rather than some health benefits, its more important use is…

Xia Yan: Boss! If you talk too much, you’ll affect your profit prospects.

Ring Toss Stand Boss: Alright, I’ll stop talking about it.

Xia Yan turned around with some awkwardness. Though he purposefully blocked his face with his hand, I could still see the slightly-flushed tips of his ears from my angle.

MC: Alright, Xia Yan, the boss was messing with us, don’t take it seriously.

MC: I’ll remember to use it every night to comb my hair. If it works, then I’ll definitely tell you right away!

Xia Yan: …Okay.

After hearing my words, the boss suddenly started laughing even louder. After glaring at him, Xia Yan immediately tugged me away from the stand.

Why did I feel like… he was somewhat in a huff?

--

Having returned into the crowd, I had a somewhat clear target this time.

MC: Xia Yan, let’s try some events that kids can safely play next time.

MC: I feel like you wouldn’t have provoked a big goose when you were little. Otherwise, if you encountered a situation like just now, I reckon you’d be gone…

Xia Yan: How am I that weak? I was the one who scared off that goose that made you fall into the mud pit back then.

MC: Let this topic go!

Although, it really was as Xia Yan said – he scared off the goose, and afterwards, I never saw it in my vicinity. I even vaguely remembered that, in the few days after, the food on the dinner table were all abnormally sumptuous – and among them, one of the permanent dishes seemed to be…

MC: Eh?! That goose ended up getting eaten?!

Xia Yan: Hm hm? What did you say?

Xia Yan: Ah! There are a lot of kids surrounding that stand – let’s go over and look.

MC: You must be deliberately forcing away the topic, right…

So it turns out that Xia Yan’s threat from just now was for real. If some geese gave chase… they’d end up on the dinner table. 

PART 3

Following the joyful cheers of children, Xia Yan and I arrived in front of a shop.

MC: They’ve even got sugar people*!

The boss was a kindly grandpa. Though the hair on his head was white, his hand movements were natural and unforced. With a few movements, he had created a vivid and lifelike phoenix. I couldn’t resist exclaiming along with the children.

MC: Whoa – so amazing!

Xia Yan: Yeah, no wonder he attracted so many little fans.

Xia Yan: Although looking at the situation right now, it seems like he’s a little too busy…

Just as Xia Yan said, the boss had no time whatsoever to consider us. After a hurried glance over, he only had the time to send a greeting in our direction.

Sugar Person Shop Boss: Come, I don’t have time to do it for you, so you two can do it yourselves.

MC: Eh? Was the boss talking to us?

Xia Yan: Eh… seems like it.

The boss’s abnormally familiar attitude as if he knew us from the start, as well as Xia Yan’s unnatural expression, made me feel somewhat strange.

MC: Xia Yan, do you know the boss from before?

Xia Yan: Ah? I’m not familiar with him. Maybe the boss is too busy and just didn’t realize.

Xia Yan: Aiya, let’s not talk about this. Either way, since the boss is letting us do it ourselves, how about we go for it.

With a grin, Xia Yan pointed to the side of the boss where there was a small candy-making stall, eagerly pulling up his sleeves.

MC: Making sugar people is the work of a craftsman – I probably won’t be great at it.

Xia Yan: No problem – I’m here.

Xia Yan: You didn’t get to eat it because of a cavity when we were little – this time, you definitely won’t miss it.

MC: You’ve forgotten your own matters so completely, yet you still remember these little things…

Xia Yan: Because they’re things about you.

After winking at me, he took off his jacket and tied it around his waist, then crouched at the candy-making stall. He held up the steel spoon, scooping out some syrup from the heating stove with familiarity, and smoothly started to draw with seriousness on the steel counter. 

Thin threads of sugar meandered off the steel spoon, following his movements to take form, finally converging to become a playful-looking little person.

MC: It’s so cute!

Hearing my praise, Xia Yan waved the cute sugar person he was holding. His smile bloomed from his eyes, bringing a joy as if he was waiting to be praised. 

Xia Yan: Here – can you guess who I made?

Looking at it carefully, the sugar person’s hairstyle and hair décor seemed to be quite similar to how I was dressed up today. 

MC: Could it be… me?

Xia Yan turned his wrist, holding the sugar person in front of his eye.

Xia Yan: Mm, it’s you.

Through the crystal-clear sugar person, his coral eyes looked like rich honey, mixed with thoughts that had been mulled over for a long time. 

Xia Yan: I was thinking of you when I made this sugar person.

Drums sounded from far away, accelerating my frenzied heartbeat.

As he was now, Xia Yan looked like he was doing his best to impress everything into his sight. He didn’t pay attention to the surrounding noise – he just looked at me with a clear gaze, letting the light shine a gentle layer of brilliance on his body. 

Little Boy: Big brother! Could you also make one for me?

Little Girl: I want one too!

The surrounding kids eagerly watched the sugar person in Xia Yan’s hands, outdoing each other in squeezing over here.

Xia Yan: Little friends, we’re not selling over here. If you want sugar people, go find the boss over there and buy from him. 

Little Boy: Aw – big brother is so stingy.

Little Girl: But I want one that you’ve made…

Xia Yan: Sorry, sorry – I’m only making them for one person today.

Xia Yan apologetically patted the kids’ heads, then walked over to my side proudly.

Xia Yan: How is it – I didn’t disappoint, right?

MC: As expected of Great Detective Xia who knows how to do everything. But with so many longing gazes surrounding us, I’m feeling somewhat embarrassed…

Xia Yan: Being the target of admiration is a good thing.

Xia Yan held the sugar person in his hand in front of me. It was like the honey-coloured gloss and the fragrance of maltose had a sort of magic that could uplift people’s moods.

> Directly taste it > Solemnly accept it

MC: Then I won’t be courteous.

I got close to the sugar person and directly took a bite.

Xia Yan: Eh?!

The clear sweetness of the sugar filled my mouth, and I was immediately filled with happiness.

MC: Hoo… so good.

Xia Yan: Th-the head is almost gone!

As if he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, Xia Yan looked at the sugar person that was nearly missing half its head in his hand, then held out his hand to wipe the sugar stains on the side of my mouth. 

Xia Yan: … Haha, you really don’t have a single mental burden about this.

MC: Hm? Why would I be burdened?

Xia Yan: It’s nothing. As long as you like it, I’ll make you another if there’s a chance in the future.

> Directly taste it > Solemnly accept it

I carefully took the sugar person, fearing that someone would bump into it and shatter it. Or at least, that’s what I said, but I saw that Xia Yan’s expression was extremely surprised, with a trace of happiness.

MC: This was personally made by Great Detective Xia – it definitely is different from typical sugar people.

MC: Let me think… how should I hang this up when I get back?

Xia Yan: It’s been quite hot recently. How about making a freezing glass display case for it?

MC: Ah… something this troublesome…

Xia Yan: I’m kidding.

Xia Yan: If you like it, I can make it for you again whenever. You don’t need to specially collect and treasure it.

--

Holding the freshly-made sugar person in my hand, I once again fell into a daze about the next target.

MC: Looks like the thing you were looking for back then wasn’t a sugar person… then what exactly could it be…

Xia Yan: You really are persistent about this. It might not even be anything that’s that big of a deal.

MC: I still want to know.

MC: Back then, I thought you were never going to come back, and I cried while searching for a long time with mom and dad. To me, this matter is just like a knot in my heart.

Xia Yan: A knot in your heart?

MC: That’s right. I keep feeling like if I don’t find out what you were looking for back then, you’ll disappear again…

Xia Yan: …

Xia Yan: Even if I really did disappear, it wouldn’t be your fault anyways.

Xia Yan whispered this sentence almost inaudibly, and it dissipated in the surrounding boisterous holiday atmosphere. 

MC: What?

Xia Yan: Nothing. Let’s keep thinking of ways – maybe I’ll be able to remember what it was I was looking for very soon. 

Seeming to have become aware of our troubles, the sugar person shop boss on the side started talking to us warmly while making the sugar person he was working on. 

Sugar Person Shop Boss: If you're talking about looking for something, could it be that you’re looking for the god of the land?

MC: Eh? Why do you say so?

This was already the second time that I’ve heard of this “god of the land” name. If I wasn’t remembering wrong, it had to do with the legend of the Star Bridge Light event.

Sugar Person Shop Boss: Haha, because in this light event, it most likely has to do with the god of the land if you’re talking about looking for something. 

Xia Yan: Mm, it’s because of the legend in the folklore here. 

Sugar Person Shop Boss: Look at you – if you know, why not tell the young lady?

As he spoke, the boss drew up a completely new sugar person.  Looking at the figure, it was a celestial being in fluttering clothes.

Sugar Person Shop Boss: Legend says that the god of the land will wear a mask and mix with the crowds, on this day in the Star Bridge Light event, to look for the lover he was separated from before he became a god.

Sugar Person Shop Boss: As long as one recognizes him, the wish they hold at the bottom of their heart will definitely become reality.

MC: I didn’t think that the Star Bridge Light event had such a romantic legend – I didn’t know about it before.

Sugar Person Shop Boss: This isn’t your fault, young lady. As time flows on, some things are destined to fade away and be forgotten. 

Sugar Person Shop Boss: I also had suddenly remembered the light event back then – there were very many visitors wearing masks, and all the kids would excitedly guess who was the real god of the land. 

Sugar Person Shop Boss: Maybe what you were looking for back then was him.

MC: Thank you, boss. I will definitely remember this legend.

As if he saw through my thought process, before I even opened my mouth, Xia Yan rushed to be the first to suggest a direction.

Xia Yan: I just saw a stall nearby that sells masks – let’s go and take a look.

MC: Ah, okay!

At this moment, I suddenly had the strong feeling that what Xia Yan had been searching for back then wasn’t something that could be seen or felt. Instead, it was an opportunity to make his wish a reality.

TL Note:

* You may have seen these before – sugar people (“糖人”, tang ren) use melted sugar to create fragile, edible figures!

PART 4

Maybe it was because they weren’t like the cartoon masks favoured by children, as most of the masks sold at the stand were all wooden masks with traditional features, but compared to the other stands that were busy with many visitors, the front of this mask shop was clearly much more deserted.

MC: So the god of the land wore this kind of mask to hide among the crowds…

Xia Yan: That’s just a legend. There doesn’t actually exist any god of the land.

MC: So you couldn’t find him back then?

Xia Yan: …

Seeming to be surprised by my sudden question, Xia Yan froze for a moment, then finally laughed.

Xia Yan: Haha, didn’t think you would ask about this so suddenly…

Xia Yan: You’re right. I really was looking for the legendary god of the land back then.

Like he was slowly unearthing past memories, Xia Yan’s gaze wandered over the rows and rows of dazzling masks, finally coming to a stop on my face.

Xia Yan: I’m sorry for making you worry back then. Now that I think back, those kinds of thoughts were pretty childish.

MC: No worries. As family members, we should take care of each other, after all.

MC: Plus, I think that believing in legends has nothing to do with whether you’re childish. This is a way to place your hopes on something.

If so, exactly what was it that Xia Yan had placed his hopes on back then? Up till now, he’s never brought up this matter. It must be something that’s hard to say, so he kept it hidden…

MC: Although, being able to remember exactly what you were looking for is already very difficult. The exact wish should be even harder to remember, right?

Xia Yan: About this…

Xia Yan opened his mouth a few times, finally choosing to maintain a tacit mutual understanding with me.

Xia Yan: How about we buy the masks first? Let’s leave the wish matter to think about later.

MC: Okay, prepare to pay up – with such a rare opportunity, I’m going to choose the most expensive to keep.

Xia Yan: Sure – I’ll take it as helping with the boss’s business.

The boss, who was originally swiping on his phone on the side, straightforwardly raised his hands.

Mask Shop Boss: Why so courteous? I just came here to join in on the liveliness. If there’s anything you like, just take it.

MC: … Eh?

MC: (It seems like I’ve just heard this kind of familiar tone.)

Xia Yan: Ahem, boss, you can’t do business like this. If you gave one to everyone, wouldn’t this become a charity?

Right then, I suddenly felt someone squeezing past my back. Though it was just a few seconds, and I hadn’t planned to pay it any attention, but Xia Yan ceased his movements in making payments, frowning at the crowd while asking me.

Xia Yan: MC, hurry and see if you’ve lost something.

MC: Ah? Okay.

I reached into my pocket, and sure enough, I noticed that I’d lost something.

MC: My phone’s gone! Was it that thief just now?

Xia Yan: Don’t worry, he can’t get away. Wait for me for a bit.

After he finished speaking, Xia Yan whistled towards the sky. In response, Peanut arrived, following Xia Yan as they gave chase towards the crowd together. 

--

In a flash, over ten minutes had already passed, and Xia Yan still hadn’t returned. Because I didn’t have my phone, I had no way of contacting him. I could only incessantly look around everywhere, hoping that I’d see his figure in the crowd. 

MC: (It couldn’t be that something happened to him, right…)

My mind quickly came up with many similar cases, getting all the more anxious. As if affected by my mood, the visitors coming and going revealed more heavy expressions than before, accompanied by worried whispers. 

Visitor A: Husband, the person you were talking about is alright, right…

Visitor B: I’m not sure. I saw blood all over his face, and he was lying there, unable to move. The wounds he got probably weren’t light.

Visitor A: Ah, I hope that his life isn’t at risk.

Visitor B: Yeah, although people nowadays are too quick to act. It was just a little matter, so why bother making a mess of it to this point…

MC: (They couldn’t be talking about Xia Yan, right?!)

When I thought this, I rushed straight out and blocked that couple.

MC: My apologies – the person who was hurt that you just brought up, may I ask for an approximation of what he looked like?

Visitor A: Looked like… because there was blood all over his face, I could only just barely see that it was a fairly young boy.

Visitor B: That’s right, and he was wearing a white shirt, and he didn’t seem to have a companion with him.

MC: Could you tell me approximately where it was?

Visitor B: Right turn at the front. You’ll be able to see it after walking straight for a bit more.

MC: Thank you!

After hurriedly giving my thanks, I forced myself into the mass of people, rushing towards the direction they had indicated. 

The heat in the crowd, as well as the dazzling lanterns all around, made me feel abnormally restless in this moment. As I staggered, rushing towards the scene, I suddenly felt a familiar feeling. It seemed like I had been like this when I was little, anxiously looking in all directions for Xia Yan who’d gotten lost…

In the end, the place where we found him was a forest in the corner of the light event.

Xia Yan curled up, burying his head past his shoulders, crouching without a single sound in the corner beside the shrubbery. Sounds of lively mirth came from the light festival not too far away, but all of these seemed to have been isolated outside of this still area, like it had nothing to do with him.

After, only when I walked closer did I hear the quiet sounds of his sobbing.  

Back then, I was still young, so I’d always thought that he was terribly scared because he had gotten lost from everyone. But now that I think about it carefully, that didn’t seem to be the case… 

Xia Yan has always been very courageous since he was small. He’d even drive away a goose that was taller than him to protect me. If so, how could he have cried to that point just because he had gotten lost? He’s so smart, so he definitely also knew to ask the light event staff for help. 

MC: (Could it be that he purposefully hid away back then…)

MC: (Or does it mean…)

MC: (No good, this isn’t the time to think about these. I need to find Xia Yan fast and confirm that he’s safe!)

PART 5

When I found the scene of the accident, everything was already reaching an end. The light event staff had placed warning signs in front of the stall where the conflict had occurred, and were now methodically cleaning up the scene. 

Staff Member: Could all visitors please be aware of the shards of glass on the ground. Please aim to take alternate routes where possible.

I paid little attention to the shards scattered all around with traces of blood on them, directly stepping over the warning signs. 

Staff Member: Ah, dear visitor, please move back to avoid injury.

MC: My apologies - may I ask if you know about the condition of the one who was injured just now?

Staff Member: I came fairly late, and I’m not too clear on the detailed situation.

Staff Member: I just know that the one who was injured is a young man. Because he thought that the other person, a middle-aged man, had stolen something of his, the two got in a dispute. 

Staff Member: During this, he accidentally collided with the adjacent goldfish stall, and his eyes were scratched by the glass. It seems like he lost a lot of blood…

MC: (Stole something… could the one who was injured really be Xia Yan…)

MC: Then has he been sent to the hospital?

Staff Member: Ah, he was just lifted out by the stretcher. Is he your friend? If so, you should be able to make it if you rush over now. 

MC: Understood!

After finishing speaking, I immediately ran toward the entrance of the light event.

MC: (I hope nothing happened to Xia Yan… he must not have had anything happen to him…)

Just as I passed through the crowd of people, moving against the current, the loud, clear sound of a birdcall suddenly rang through the air. I lifted my head and saw a black figure anxiously circling around my head. 

MC: (Why is Peanut over here? Is it hastening me to hurry to find Xia Yan?)

Thus, I was unable to focus on protecting the sugar person I was holding, as I threaded through the flow of people in front of me with increased anxiety.

Right then, I suddenly heard a familiar sound behind me. 

???: Found you.

Hearing this voice, I immediately turned around - 

Where…

Is that you, Xia Yan…

Where are you…

The multicoloured lanterns threw my vision into chaos. I felt like I was in a blurred illusion, unable to distinguish between anything…

Until… a warmth wrapped lightly around my wrist. 

???: …

The sound of a light laugh directed my vision. I saw a young man…

He lifted the complicatedly-carved mask, revealing a handsome and gentle expression. That moment, reality and fantasy split apart. Between heaven and earth, only you and I are real.

MC: …

It really is you… that really is great…

I looked at him, and all the fear and unease in my heart was completely vanquished and dispersed, right then and there.

Xia Yan: What’s wrong? Staring at me in a daze - were you startled by the mask?

His eyes shone bright, looking like they could dispel all hurt in the shadow behind that brightness. 

There was a moment when I felt like I had gotten something wrong… was it him? The god spoken of in legends was him, right? Peeling back a thousand years’ worth of mist, he stepped in the waning lantern light and gradually walked over, solely to find the image of the woman that was branded in his heart.

MC: I was just thinking that… if there really was that god of the land in the light event, he might look like you.

Xia Yan: But the god of the land searched for several hundred years, and still hasn’t found and reunited with the person he loves, even until today. I can’t be like him. 

Though it was dialogue that could not get any more mundane, when placed in this moment, it was like a hidden promise, concealing a hard-to-express sentiment. When associating this with his “Found you” just now, my cheeks started to gradually heat up. 

But Xia Yan continued to gaze at me, never once shifting his vision away. The hot air grew steadily warmer. Only until I lowered my head in embarrassment did he laugh and change the topic.

Xia Yan: Although, if I hypothetically really was him, do you have any wishes you’d like to make a reality?

Xia Yan: Do you want to recover a certain thing that was forgotten?

He raised the phone in his hand and winked at me, brimming with anticipation.

MC: I don’t…

Xia Yan: Eh?! Why?

MC: It’s alright as long as you’re fine. Just now, I’d thought the one who was hurt was you…

Xia Yan: It’s no big deal - just catching a thief. I definitely won’t let myself get caught in danger. 

Xia Yan: You’re still waiting for me, after all.

MC: Xia Yan, your body is yours. Even if I wasn’t waiting for you, you have to be careful.

After listening to me, Xia Yan froze slightly, then immediately revealed a smile that was even more dazzling than before. 

Xia Yan: Mm, you’re right. Here - your phone.

There was still some of his residual warmth left on the phone, and it was slightly hot. It was only then did I suddenly realize that it wasn’t that he wasn’t anxious - he was just pretending to be calm, and hadn’t shown his panicked expression.

MC: Sorry, Xia Yan, I was too reckless just now… I didn’t carefully think before running around, making you search for that long…

Xia Yan: Don’t apologize, this isn’t your fault.

He’d just dealt with an issue just now with skill and ease, but seeing me apologize, Xia Yan was immediately in a fluster.

Xia Yan: It’s actually all my fault. After getting delayed by that accident, I didn’t get Peanut to contact you immediately.

Xia Yan: You didn’t have your phone at the time, and you must have been very anxious. I’m sorry, I didn’t give enough consideration to this…

MC: It’s no problem. Something that delays you must be something that’s very important.

MC: Wait, the accident you mentioned - could it be… the accident where someone collided into the goldfish stall and got their eyes scratched?

Xia Yan: You saw it too?

MC: To be honest… I thought that person was you…

Xia Yan: Then haven’t you underestimated my strength a little too much?

Xia Yan: Although, I was on scene at the time. I somewhat helped the person who got hurt to apply some emergency blood-staunching measures. Otherwise, his eyes would be in danger. 

MC: So amazing - I didn’t think that you also had professional first aid knowledge!

Xia Yan: I’m just alright - preventative measures and all.

Seeming somewhat embarrassed, Xia Yan scratched his head, then directly changed the topic. 

Xia Yan: All in all, if something happens like this next time, I definitely won’t let you worry about me like today.

MC: Wrong! Even if it makes me worry, you should do what you want to do first.

MC: Saving people is the most important, right?

Xia Yan: Mm. As expected, this is something that you’d say.

Xia Yan’s always like this. He’s used to putting himself last, placing priority on considering my feelings first. Ever since we were young, up till now, he’s always been careful like this. Looking at his smiling expression right now, I suddenly had a strong hunch that the reason why he had hid away back then might also have to do with me…

MC: Actually, the process of finding you this time wasn’t a bad thing to me. 

MC: It let me remember things that happened at the light event when we were little…

Xia Yan: Does… it have to do with me? 

MC: Mm, I suddenly remembered that I found you in the corner of the woods, after that time when you got lost.

MC: Back then, you didn’t ask other people for help. Was it because I did something that made you unhappy, so you deliberately hid away…

Xia Yan: No, it had nothing to do with you! Wait, that’s wrong… I can’t really say that it had nothing to do with you…

MC: Look - sure enough, it has to do with me!

MC: I’m sorry, Xia Yan… it’s all my fault…

Xia Yan: Wait wait! Don’t rush to apologize yet! That thing really wasn’t your fault!

MC: Then exactly why was it that…

Seeing me cover my face, maybe Xia Yan thought I was crying. He hurried to take out a paper napkin and edged over to look over my expression as if trying to curry favour. Only after seeing that I was just bluffing did he release a breath, as if he didn’t know whether to cry or laugh.

Xia Yan: Alright alright, I’ll talk. I really can’t deal with you.

Xia Yan: Actually… back then, I really did think about not going back, but it wasn’t your fault.

Xia Yan: I had heard and believed some of the rumours and slanders from relatives back then, and I felt that I had snatched away the attention and affection that uncle and auntie gave to you.

Xia Yan: So I wanted to return these to you… looking at it now, it really is very childish, right?

MC: It’s beyond childish! It’s simply stupid!

Xia Yan: I know, so that’s why I was too embarrassed to tell you the whole time…

After my shock gradually faded, I suddenly felt a sort of hard-to-explain anguish in my heart. I never thought that Xia Yan would have had these kinds of thoughts. It was ironic that I, who had been with him morning and night, never noticed the slightest bit of this…

MC: So… the wish you wanted to make by finding the god of the land also has to do with these thoughts?

Xia Yan: Mm, I hoped that he could make me completely disappear - from this world, and from everyone’s memories.

Xia Yan: Although, good thing I didn’t find him. Otherwise, I definitely would’ve regretted it a lot.

MC: It’s all my fault… if I had noticed this earlier, you wouldn’t have had it so hard.

Xia Yan: Alright alright, I’ve said this already - this isn’t your fault. 

Smiling, Xia Yan patted my head. Looking at his face right now, I couldn’t see the slightest bit of his past haze.

Xia Yan: It’s the opposite - I should thank you.

MC: Thank me?

Xia Yan: Mm. Though I didn’t find the god of the land, you found me.

Xia Yan: Starting from then, I made a decision.

Xia Yan: I will return several times over the attention and affection that was split for me to you, using my methods.

MC: Xia Yan…

Right then, innumerable fireworks suddenly burst in the sky, enveloping everything in gorgeous colours.

Xia Yan: Alright, it’s almost time. 

PART 6

Following the nonstop fireworks sounds, Xia Yan brought me over to the river shore beside the light event.

MC: Whoa—

I couldn’t help exclaiming in admiration. On the water surface that reflected the fireworks, innumerable river lanterns floated and drifted.  Right at that moment, they looked like specks of stars shining in the Milky Way, far away in the sky.

Xia Yan: How is it? We didn’t come here this time for nothing, right?

MC: Mm! It’s way too gorgeous. Were these river lanterns prepared specifically for the closing ceremony?

Xia Yan: That’s right, I set them up specifically for today.

MC: Eh?! You did this?

Xia Yan: Why so surprised? My hands-on ability is more than enough for these kinds of things.

MC: But there are so many of them. You must have spent a lot of time…

Xia Yan: It was alright. Placing river lanterns is one of the customs of the Star Bridge Light event, after all. It also indirectly promotes traditional culture.

Following the slight breeze, some of the river lanterns slowly drifted back to shore, stopping by my foot. If I looked carefully, it seemed like a row of words was written on each lamp. I crouched down and randomly took one of the lamps, and noticed that “Hope her work goes smoothly and that she wins every case” was written on it. Another lantern had “Hope that she will be healthy, and that she won’t be infected by all illnesses” written on it. There were even more lanterns like these, but the blessings written on each lantern were all different.

MC: Xia Yan, were the blessings on them also written by you?

Xia Yan: Mm, they were all written for you.

Xia Yan: I brought you here because I wanted to have you believe that the wish from when we were little no longer counts. These are my real wishes now.

MC: But…

I looked at the numerous lanterns and couldn’t help wrinkling my brows.

MC: Why are all these blessings for me? Are there none for you?

Xia Yan: Because I…

He forcibly swallowed back the words he had opened his mouth to say. With the change in topic, his tone deemphasized the matter at hand.

Xia Yan: There’s actually no reason. Back at the beginning, when I was preparing the river lights, I racked my brains for a long while because I didn’t know what to write.

Xia Yan: After, I thought about you, and I ended up writing on all of them without realizing it. I even felt like I hadn’t made enough river lanterns.

Xia Yan: It’s a pity that there weren’t enough materials already, so I could only make do with those.

But, even if there were enough materials, he probably never intended to write some blessings for himself. There were clearly so many river lanterns, but he didn’t leave a single one for himself… now that I thought about it, I suddenly felt very upset.

MC: Xia Yan, wait for me here for a bit!

Xia Yan: Eh? Where are you going?

MC: I’m going to borrow something - I’ll be back immediately!

After finishing speaking, I ran towards the mask shop. If I hadn’t remembered wrong, there would be what I needed there.

—

Seeing me from far away, the boss waved to me, greeting me warmly.

Mask Shop Boss: Eh, young lady, why did you return on your own? Did that young man not bring you to see the river lanterns?

MC: That young man… do you mean Xia Yan? Boss, how did you know about it?

Mask Shop Boss: This isn’t some secret - all the shops around here know that that young man was going to bring his girlfriend here today.

MC: Girl-girlfriend?!

Mask Shop Boss: Ayo, looking at the young lady’s reaction, you haven’t gotten together yet.

MC: We actually don’t have that kind of relation between us…

Mask Shop Boss: Regardless of how it is, let me speak some fair words - that young man really is a good person.

Mask Shop Boss: To convince the light event host to rent the space out and let him set up the river lanterns, he worked for us for several days. That’s not some average-level conviction.

MC: So this was also the case… thank you for telling me these things, boss.

If not for this accidental occurrence, I probably would have never known about the effort he had put in behind the scenes.

MC: Right, boss, can I borrow a writing brush from you? I promise I will return it immediately after using it.

Mask Shop Boss: No problem, take it as you please. Remember to bring the pigment with you. Although this is what I use to paint the masks - I’m just afraid that you might not be used to using it.

MC: Thank you, boss!

Holding the tools I had borrowed from the boss, I jogged back towards the shore.

—

Xia Yan: What did you bring these for?

Under Xia Yan’s dubious gaze, I held up a river lantern.

MC: To write blessings.

MC: Look, the river lanterns have so many sides, so I can still write a lot of words.

As I spoke, I lifted the writing brush, writing on the empty side of a river lantern - “Hope Xia Yan will be healthy, as well as happy”.

Xia Yan: Eh? Are you writing this for me?

MC: Of course. You’ve busied yourself for so long for these river lanterns, so they must have your name!

MC: Didn’t you ask me earlier about what wishes I wanted to make into reality? More than finding my phone back, this is my actual wish.

Xia Yan: …

Xia Yan looked at those two rows of simple, short wishes on the river lantern, sinking in a short moment of silent contemplation. Right after, he took the brush from my hand, also writing a few rows of words.

MC: What are you writing? Why’d you even cross out a row - let me see.

Xia Yan: No can do - if it’s seen, it won’t come true.

MC: Eh?! Then does that mean that the ones I saw just now won’t come true?

Xia Yan: It won’t be a problem. Either way, there are so many of them, so some of them have got to come true.

MC: That’s true… then I’ll write a few more for you as well!

Xia Yan: No need - this one is enough for me.

He winked at me, then immediately placed the river lantern lightly, back into the water. Right then, magnificent fireworks burst successively in the sky, radiantly breaking apart the darkness, as if to draw all sceneries into an enchanting dream. Following the current, the lanterns drifted further and further away, gradually bringing the wishes to the distant horizon.

“Rather than the excessive wish of being able to always stay by her side, I hope more to protect her as she peacefully, prosperously lives her life - regardless whether I’m there, and regardless of in what way.”

PHONE CALL

Sorry, I was just feeding Peanut and couldn’t respond to your message in time.

I’m also just like you - I’m feeling very reminiscent about the taste of sugar people. The sugar prepared by that boss really was unique.

You liked it because I made it? Hehe, you’re probably saying this to make me happy.

Right, if you like eating it, how about I go find the boss tomorrow to borrow his equipment and make you another one?

Other sugar people shapes… about this, it might have to wait for some time. I have to practice.

You also know that I’ve never been good at drawing since I was small. I’d drift off each class and the teacher would always use my works to make everyone laugh.

The reason why the sugar person I gave you was made well, was because I made it according to you. 

During the time when I went away, I would think of you often. Over time, you became branded deep in my head.

I got caught… I didn’t agree to those kids back then because I only knew to make one kind of sugar people. I can’t just casually give “you” away to other people.

You’re talking about working for the stalls? I was just in charge of working the cash register and hawking the wares - the sugar person I gave you was my first official work.

As long as you like it. I’m willing to try anything you like.

How about we make a big sugar person family next time, with uncle and auntie, and me and you.

In fact… this is, by far, not the only thing I want to do with you. I want to make more memories with you.

I will make up for those lost eight years’ worth of time.

[mrsacklesevansmgk]

Cursed - Chapter 2: Adam

Cursed Series. Catch up here

All mistakes are my own, as this hasn't been reviewed by anyone.

You do not have permission to copy my work anywhere. This is an original story written by me.

“Yours is the light by which my spirit's born, yours is the darkness of my soul's return, you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars.” ― E. E. Cummings

Sitting next to Lana in English this morning was a unique experience. I could tell she was watching me out of the corner of her eye, or sneakily through the strands of her hair. I frazzled her. I knew that much. But she frazzled me too. She’d steal glances at me, thinking I wouldn’t notice. And to be honest, if I were the average seventeen-year-old boy, I wouldn’t have. But I am anything but average or normal, so I noticed. Oh, if she only knew.

There was nothing about this girl that I wouldn’t notice.

I drank her in, every chance I got.

I know that sounds extreme, but just sitting next to her in class is something that I never thought would happen.

I intentionally leant a little bit closer to Lana and was rewarded with the colour in her cheeks flushing red and her pulse began to race a little bit. She dropped her pen and wiped her palms on her jeans then tried to hide her face behind her hair. I don’t know if she noticed me watching her, but I thought she was incredibly adorable at that moment. This hour would be one of the best hours of my life if it was spent in the presence of this amazing person. I was soaking in these moments, because I knew I would have to leave soon and switch off from the human world.

I let my mind wander back to the first time I had ever seen Lana. She was walking through the local mall with her hands in the pockets of an oversized hoodie, headphones in her ears and head down. She wasn’t watching where she was going and was constantly knocking into people. I watched as she made her way from shop to shop, stopping now and then to pick up random items. By the look on her face, she wanted to be anywhere but here. I left the mall that day thinking about the strange girl I had encountered but thinking, the way my life goes, I’d never see her again. Two weeks later while I was walking through the forest, a strange feeling came over me. I had this undeniable urge to walk to the stream I could hear in the distance. I’d never gone that far before, why did I feel compelled to now? I walked quickly but quietly towards the stream, coming out near a large oak tree. Across the river from me was the girl from the mall...leaning down washing her hands in the flowing water.. Except she wasn’t really washing her hands. She had her hands stretched out in front of her in the water and her eyes closed. It was like she was communicating with the stream. I felt like I was intruding so I silently backtracked and walked away. But for many nights since then I often found myself wondering why I had the sudden urge to go to the stream that I’d never been to before, and there she was.

That was about two months ago now. I’d moved to the area and had grown bored of doing the same thing every single day. I didn’t need to attend school, but I liked the idea of it. Interacting with every-day people, learning something new, even if just from a different perspective. And so, I was completely gobsmacked to look up and see her frowning down at me this morning. And I tried to play it cool and not let on that she frazzled me but boy was I frazzled. This wasn’t normal. The urge to go to the stream that day, the fact that of all the schools I could have gone to, I picked the one that she attended, and I also happened to be in a class with her.

My life was too strange to take that just as a coincidence. Coincidences didn’t happen in my world. But I also decided to take it as a sign. The universe was pushing Lana and I together for a reason and I didn’t need a reason to want to get to know Lana, but I took it as a sign anyway.

I came back to the present moment. I could sense Lana peeking at me through her hair. She thought she was so smart about it, that I wouldn’t notice. But I noticed. She really was a peculiar person. I got the vibe that she’d be perfectly content slinking about in the background, never the centre of attention. The way she dressed in oversized, baggy and ‘messy’ clothes tells me that she wants to hide away.

She was sitting incredibly still, only her hand moving as she scribbled patterns across the front of her folder. I couldn’t see what she was drawing, but I could tell it was a repetitive motion and she was going over and over it, pressing it in soft cardboard folder, making the lines darker and darker before moving on to repeat the cycle in a new spot, sometimes in a new clear space, sometimes overlapping the previous one.

I needed to talk to her. I knew that much. I had already tried, and she pretty much shut me down and zoned me out, which wasn’t hard considering she had music blasting through her headphones. She was doing her best to ignore me and I was doing my best to break down those walls, so, I was incredibly grateful when Mr Lord volunteered Lana to show me around because it meant she had to talk to me,or at least give me the time of day. Anything was better than being point blank ignored.

The bell rang, indicating the end of the first period. I packed up my books and grabbed out my class schedule to see where I needed to go next. I was hoping that Lana would be able to show me, or at least give me directions. We stood almost simultaneously, and we collided causing Lana to stumble back. I instinctively reached out to steady her and asked “Are you alright?” “Fine thanks, I’m just really clumsy” she said as a smile grew on my face. She pulled her backpack onto her shoulder and walked towards the door, stopping only for a moment to look back at me. I remained standing in that spot, sort of in a daze. This was the first time I had been close enough to Lana. And this is going to sound creepy, but it was the first time I’ve been able to fully take her in. She smelled both earthy and fruity, ‘must be her shampoo or body wash’ I thought to myself. The fruity smell reminded me of my mother, who, before everything changed, would spend hours a day in the kitchen baking fruity tarts, apple pies, cakes...you name it. The scent triggered something else, a memory that I had long suppressed. I stood there, shaking my head, literally shaking the memory away. I couldn’t face that right now.

As I stood there, looking after Lana as she walked away, struggling with my memories and trying to gain control of my senses, I came to a realisation. Lana intrigued me; that was obvious. This incredible, weirdly unique girl intrigued me. She was the polar opposite of me – even before things changed. I’ve always been graceful, steady on my feet, confident and content being the centre of attention. She’s the opposite; clumsy in all ways, she had a weird confidence, in the sense that she was completely comfortable with who she was and she wouldn’t change herself for anyone, but she wasn’t confident in social settings and she most definitely did not want to be seen...by anyone.

From that moment at the stream, I felt compelled to get to know Lana, to talk to her, to be near her. But I also knew it wasn’t going to be that easy. I wasn’t a normal teenage boy by any means. I wasn’t safe for her and I shouldn’t want to be in her life or put her life in danger. But I couldn’t help it. I needed her, that much I knew. I needed Lana. I would do anything to make sure that I never hurt her or caused her pain. I would do anything to protect her from my world. I knew the risks and complications that came from being in my life...I was willing to take that chance. Was it unfair of me not to let her make the decision herself, especially by keeping the truth from her? Probably. But if I did right by Lana, then she’d never know.

One thing I did know, I wanted Lana in my life. But before I could do that, I had to learn to control my senses around her. They went into overdrive and I knew it was because there was something special about her, but also because I was on high alert. Being back at school meant that literally every single one of these kids and teachers’ lives were in danger, just by my presence here. But Lana compounded that. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt, ever, because of me. But I would move heaven and earth to ensure Lana’s safety.

[oikawasass]

Okay so this is based on the end of this story so I highly suggest you go read that if you haven’t.

do I really have to go?

‣ pairing : bakugo x fem reader.

‣ oneshot.

‣ synopsis : a trip down memory lane.

‣ wordcount : 1.9k+

‣ warnings : angst, character death, swearing.

“Y/n…” Katsuki’s strained voice choked out, waiting for a response. He didn’t receive one.

“Y/n. Answer me.” He spoke more stern this time with a shake to her body, hoping this was some sick joke and a serious tone of voice would force her into an answer.

It didn’t work.

Katsuki’s body fell on top of her, head resting atop her chest as he felt like he was about to be sick to his stomach. There was a sharp, yet empty feeling in his gut, it felt like someone had just stabbed him.

No more calls of her name left his lips, no more shaking her body while trying to wake her up, it all stopped. Now he was left alone, shattered into what he felt was a million pieces. She was gone. And here he was, laying on top of the near mangled body of his first love, still holding her cold and limp hand to his cheek while he felt something build up and sting deep in his throat.

As his hearing went fuzzy, and all he could hear was his own racing heartbeat in his ears, Katsuki screamed.

Katsuki screamed out of the sheer ache and torment his body felt as she lay lifeless in his arms.

Yet to Bakugo’s own knowledge, she was seated right beside him, head rested gently atop the back of his shoulder, as calm as she could be. Or should I say, her spirit was.

It was weird to her, seeing herself laying so pale and torn up on the ground in front of her. But what was really tugging at her heartstrings, was the way Katsuki was sobbing on top of her. The way he was struggling to breathe between the agonizing noises that left his chest while continuing to shake her and beg- no, plead for her to just wake up.

“He’s never cried like this before. . .” Y/n muttered quietly, turning her head to get a better look at her boyfriend. The blonde looked so. . .so broken. She’d never wanted to see him in such a state of vulnerability and pain, yet here she was, being the cause of it.

“He loved you.” The tall, dark figure behind her, who’d she’d been becoming rather acquainted with up until now, spoke up. Y/n slowly nodded her head in response. “You were the only one he’d ever loved like that.”

Y/n smiled softly at his words, yet shook her head slowly. “You don’t have to rub it in, y’know. This already sucks enough as it is.” A sad chuckle fell from her lips. “I don’t wanna leave like this either.”

She lifted her head up once the familiar ringing of sirens blasted from somewhere in the distance, signalling that help was finally near. If only they’d come a bit sooner, huh?

“L/n, we have to go. It’s been long enough.” The voice of the shadowed figure was surprisingly soft, almost comforting with how deep and smooth it was. It seems as if it was rather fitting for the job he had; welcoming, comforting and bringing newly released spirits to the other side.

“Just. . . just a little longer? Please?” Y/n gently rose her hand to cup the cheek of Bakugo, the one of which he wasnt holding her body’s hand against. “Will I still get to see him once we go?” She asked hopefully, turning to look up at the man beside her. “Like, to watch over him?”

“I'm afraid I can’t answer that, L/n.” He responded, walking towards her and slowly sitting cross-legged beside her. “However, there is one thing you get to observe before we go.”

Suddenly, everything around the two began to twist and contort, almost as if someone was spinning the scenery around them. Now, they were no longer in the snow-covered ground beside Katsuki and the body she once occupied.

They were in the room of class 2-A, her classroom.

Y/n blinked in confusion, looking around the classroom she very sadly wouldn’t find herself returning to.

No more of Kaminari and Jirou’s flirting bickering, no more of Kirishima yelling about how manly something he saw a fellow classmate do was, or Izuku and Uraraka turning beat red with every word they spoke to each other.

No more Aoyama pretending he was French and sophisticated when everyone knew otherwise, or Mina’s cute smile and bubbly attitude lighting up the room. She wouldn’t be able to watch Iida scold Tokoyami for sitting on the desks, or giggle in amusement when she noticed Tsuyu zone out in class as her tongue fell out of the side of her mouth.

There wouldn’t be another time where she watched Ojiro blush like a madman when Denki would start rubbing his tail, or when Hagakure’s uniform sleeves would flail around in the air as she told the boy ‘not to be weird’ while Sero was laughing like an idiot in the background.

Sato would no longer be able to offer her any of the delicious sweets he’d made that day, and she could say goodbye to Koda letting her pet some of the animals he’d been surrounded by on those sweet summer mornings.

She wouldn’t be able to smile at Todoroki happily slurping his soba noodles, while he and Yaomomo sat in the back of the class having a peaceful conversation amidst all the chaos during lunch. She was no longer there to notice the small smile under Shoji’s mask as he couldn’t deny the fondness that had grown within him for the people in his class, hell, even no more Mineta around to pester and bother her with his pervy comments and actions, only to have Bakugo threaten the little grape every time he tried something.

And finally, no more Y/n and Bakugo to make the rest of the class feel ‘hopelessly single’ as Kaminari used to say.

“I thought I told you not to rub it in.” Y/n said, smiling sadly when all the memories of her class were shown before her. God, she already missed them so much. She no longer had a heart, but she couldn’t deny the ache deep in her chest at the memories of her friends surfacing.

“Keep watching.”

“Oi, shitty girl.” Bakugo said, approaching her with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his baggy uniform pants. She turned her attention away from Denki, Jirou, Sero and Mina to look at the blonde who now stood before her.

“What’s u- woah okay!” Bakugo had grabbed her wrist, pulling her up from her seat and leading her out of the classroom before anyone else could make note of their exit together.

“Well you could’ve just asked me to follow y-” “Just shut the hell up and listen, will you?”

Y/n clamped her mouth shut, nodding and motioning for him to continue.

“I-” he sighed, rolling his eyes and scuffing one of his feet against the polished floor beneath him.

“I like you, okay?”

“....”

“Me?”

“Yes you, idiot! Who the hell else is around?!”

“Like, you like like me?”

“You’re such an idiot- yes!”

“Shut up I just wanna make sure!”

“Tch. Listen-!!”

Katsuki was cut off by the feeling of soft, plush lips against his own.

“Well, ill have you know that I like you too, blasty.”

“That's when he confessed back in our first year. . .”

The same spinning illusion they’d gone through before repeated, this time bringing them into the downtown area Y/n used to live by. A light sheet of snow covered the ground as more continued to fall from the sky, the orange and pink colours coming from the setting sun above them illuminating the city.

“Wait, is this the spot that he-”

“Katsu!” Y/n yelled, running to keep up with her boyfriend who’d now walked quite a few steps ahead of her.

“You couldn’t even wait for me to finish tying my boot- woah!” Y/n cut herself off as she slipped on a small spot of ice in her rush to catch up, expecting to be met with the wet and cold concrete street beneath her. Instead, she was engulfed by a large, warm pair of arms catching her before she got the chance.

“Careful, dumbass! You almost ate shit there!”

“Oh please, I would’ve been fine.”

“You’re so damn clumsy. You’re lucky I love you or I’d kick the hell out of you for not watching where you’re g. . the hell are you smiling like that for?”

“You said you love me.”

“Well-” Bakugo bit the inside of his cheek, looking down at his girlfriend who was still wrapped up in his arms.

“Well, it's not like I was lying, idiot.”

Y/n leaned up to kiss him softly, smiling against his lips.

“I love you too.”

“Man, you’re really giving me a hard time here, huh?”

The scenery around them faded to another time, Y/n instantly recognizing where she was and feeling herself reach for her left ring finger when she did.

It was summer, and it was dark. The stars were out, beautifully on bright display for everyone beneath them. She and Katsuki were sat on the U.A. rooftops, admiring the beautiful constellations above them. It was right after they had finished celebrating their one year

“Hey, I got you something.” Katsuki quietly broke the silence between them, reaching into the pocket of his hoodie, (one Y/n had surprisingly not stolen) and pulled out a small, rectangular box, handing it over to her.

“What's this?”

“Open it, dummy.”

Y/n chuckled softly, opening the box to reveal two silver rings, one slightly larger than the other. She felt her eyes go a little wide in surprise as she looked up to her boyfriend.

“Are these. . .” “Promise rings.” Bakugo confirmed, taking the smaller ring out of the box and holding his hand out for Y/n’s to which she gave to him. He slowly slid the ring onto her left ring finger, it was a perfect fit.

“Or just call them. . . place holders.”

“Place holders until what?”

“Until I can put a real ring on your finger, obviously.”

“He always used to swear he was gonna marry me.” Y/n chuckled sadly, placing a hand over her chest as the ache slowly began to fade away. Seeing all the most amazing memories and sweet moments they shared together, it made her feel as if she could leave on a good note. A small smile graced her face as she nodded, finally understanding the purpose of the small journey she was taken on.

Suddenly, she was back in the present, where Katsuki now sat pressed up against the ambulance doors alone, sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest and a shadowed cast over his eyes. A few bandages littered his cheeks, signalling he’d already been treated. Y/n paid no mind to the black body bag a few feet away from him.

Y/n went over and sat beside him, resting her head on his shoulder and hugging his waist, just like she always did when he was upset. Katsuki felt a small chill, rubbing gently at his arms to make the goosebumps he felt go away.

“Its time, L/n.”

“. . .Do I really have to go?”

“I'm afraid so.”

Y/n nodded slowly, placing a soft kiss to Bakugo’s cheek. Bakugo scratched the surface of his face at the sudden tickle against his skin.

“Okay, I think I'm ready.”

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 62

Warnings: none

Tagging: @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @ocfairygodmother​

  She stands on the patio area; where terracotta and highly polished stone and faux games of various colours -laid out in intricate patterns- meet rich, luscious green grass. A fussy and cranky Addie lying along on arm and a hand over her eyes; shielding them from the bright, powerful sun as she watches TJ and Millie -supervised by their uncle- entertain themselves on the elaborate wooden playground.  Their exuberant and lively conversation floats on the breeze, accompanied by their giggles and occasional bickering; Millie successfully teaching Saju how to climb the stairs to the slide and slip down it. Less than a hundred feet avail one of the handful of nannies -Diya, an elderly woman who had helped raised both Anil and Saju and speaks both Hindi and Bengali but very little English- keeps a firm on hold on the back of Declan’s shirt as he crouches dangerously low to one of the many ponds; attempting to get a better look at turtles and frogs.

The three of them are settling in well; random tearful moments of missing home and school and their daddy, yet making the best of the situation. Always finding something to do to keep themselves busy and always managing to laugh and smile despite the tremendous changes to their young lives. TJ and Millie are especially adept at accepting new challenges; never struggling with transitions or upsets to their daily routines, simply taking things as they come and ‘rolling with the punches’.  Rarely paying attention to the heavily armed guards that continuously patrol the perimeter and line the roof of the house. Their nerves don’t seem frazzled by the open display of weapons; never asking questions regarding just who these men are and why they’re always watching them.

Tanner is an entirely different story. He’s always struggled with change; becoming incredibly anxious with even the slightest tweak to his usual routine.  Seeking comfort in familiar surroundings and finding it in sights, smells, and sounds. Needing advanced warnings before switching from one activity to the other; a sudden, abrupt change enough to bring on frayed nerves, irritable behaviour, stomach issues, and even tears. He’s easily overwhelmed by new and unfamiliar situations and is easily annoyed by crowds of people and too much noise  or activity going on around him. He loves his version of normalcy; the same faces and voices surrounding him, the comforts of home with his own belongings and the sound and the smell of the ocean. And while he loves his siblings and shares an enormous, powerful bond with his twin brother and doesn’t shy away from playing with the others or sharing in adventures, he’s happiest when left alone; comfortable and content doing the things he loves.

It would be easy to force  him to be more  like brother and sister. To just throw him into sports as opposed to always having his nose stuck in books or engrossed in school work. To be more ‘kid like’  and pursue being a social butterfly instead of secluding himself.  And while they encourage him to at least try and broaden his horizons and to experience new things and attempt to join in the fun that his siblings are having, they refuse to push him out of his comfort zone. Both had had parents that weren’t happy with how they acted or behaved and had been forced into becoming entirely different versions of themselves.  Made to ‘fit in’ by society’s standards instead of being encouraged to be who they were meant to be. And they adamantly refuse to do that to their own children; knowing too well the kind of temporary anguish and long term negative effects that are inflicted when you’re forced to be something and someone you’re not.

He lounges under one of the many trees that form a border around the yard. Using a dozing and complacent Mac as support for his back; bare feet dug into the grass and his knees bent, impossibly thick and heavy hardcover novel resting on his thighs. Those wayward locks of hair falling across his forehead; brow furrowed and eyes narrowed in concentration. A facial expression identical to one she's seen many times in the course of nearly seven years.

Satisfied with the level of safety and security being provided to her other children, Esme moves a whimpering and grumpy Addie to her chest -a hand on the back of her head when the baby immediately nestles her face into her shoulder- and journeys over to where Tanner sits.

“What are you doing, nugget?” she inquires. “You look pretty comfy.”

“Just relaxing,” he replies without looking up. “Reading some.”

“You don’t want to go play with your brother and sister? Maybe go swimming? Or go and see the animals?”  She often wonders if he’s lonely during his frequent moments of solitude.  Unable to stop herself from worrying that he is. That he’s somehow missing out on his childhood even though he’s always expressed just how happy he is doing what he loves, not what others expect him to do.

“No, I’m happy where I am,” Tanner says. “Mac’s keeping me company. Besides. I’m kinda tired today. I did lots yesterday. And the day before. I just want to hang out.”

It’s easy to forget that he’s only five. So well spoken for someone so young; words always coming so easily to him and his tone always low and calm and his face and eyes so serious. Phenomenally intelligent and intuitive. And sensitive to a fault; always worrying about things that are way behind his years. Like his father in so many ways; allowing very few people to get close to him but fiercely protective of those who ‘make the cut’. Loving so deeply and so profoundly. Traits that his father successfully manages to hide from just about everyone, but Tanner is so open and honest about.

“What are you reading?” Esme asks, as she sinks down onto the grass beside him, stretching out her legs and laying Addie along her thighs.

“Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.”

She arches an eyebrow. “You’re reading a Harry Potter book?”

Tanner nods.

“You’re five.”

He shrugs.

“Where did you find that?”

“When I was talking to Anil yesterday, I told him that I really like to read. But not little kid books. Older kid books but not too much older. When I woke up this morning, there was a box of books by the bed, with my name written on it. Anil got them for me. All of the Harry Potters. I picked this one ‘cause I like the picture on the front.”

“And you can actually read and understand it?”

“Mom, I’m not stupid.”

“I never said you were stupid. In fact, you’re insanely smart. Almost too smart. But you’re also only five, nugget.  A five year old being able to read that well?”

“You and daddy always read to me, even when I was a baby.  I remember how you guys always made me repeat words, even when I was small. They’re in my brain and I recognize them when I see them and remember them. That’s how my brain works. I know what things say and I know what they mean. Is that weird?”

“Not weird. Just...I don’t know...just...wow.”

“Daddy said next time we’re in town, I can get The Hobbit. And then maybe Lord of the Rings for my birthday.”

“Can you read me some of Harry Potter?”

Tanner frowns. “You think I’m lying? I’m not making it up. I CAN read it.”

“Just humour me. Pick a random page and read me a bit of it, okay?”

“Alright…” he huffs dramatically, then grabs a leaf off the grass to use a bookmark before flipping to a different place in the book. “Now? Start now?”

Esme nods. “Just pick something. Anything”

“Okay…”   one of his fingers rests on the page, the tip slowly following each word. “...it is a strange thing, but when you are dreading something and would give anything to slow down time, it has a ….” he pauses, frowning up at her. “I don’t know how to pronounce that word.”

She peers down at. “Disobliging.”

“...it has a disobliging habit of speeding up.”

Esme’s eyes widen.

“What? What’s wrong, mom? What did I do? Was that wrong?”

“No. It was right. Every word of it. I just...I don’t know...I think maybe daddy and I need to talk about sending you to a different school.”

“One for smart kids? ‘Cause no offence to any of the other kids, but they’re all stupid. I know how to read words like ‘cat’ and ‘dog’ and ‘ball’ and I can write sentences with those words in it. With my eyes closed! I know my full name, my address, my phone number. I even know daddy’s full name and his cell number and when he was born; day, date, and year. I  even know how to tie my own shoes. A lot of those kids don’t do that stuff. Not even TJ knows how. Why can’t I be in a bigger kid class? Where the work is harder?”

“I don’t know if that’s allowed.”

“What? The school doesn’t like smart kids or something? It’s so boring there. I could stay home and you and daddy can teach me. You guys are both smart. You went to college.”

“I don’t think either of us can give you what you really need,” she admits. “Learning wise. But we’ll talk about; daddy and I. Okay?”

Tanner nods, then flips back to the page he’d been engrossed in when she’d interrupted him. “Hermione’s my favourite,” he says. “I read it for her mostly. I don’t care much for Ron or Harry. I think they’re whiners. Who’s your favourite?”

“I don’t have one. I’ve never read them.”

“What?” He looks mortified at the mere suggestion. “You’re how old and you’ve never read Harry Potter? That’s shameful mom. Maybe daddy’s read them.”

“I highly doubt your dad has read Harry Potter. He’s not really into that kind of stuff.”

“Daddy’s into cool guy stuff. Like UFC and football and beating people up.”

“Well he doesn’t necessarily LIKE beating them up. Sometimes he doesn’t have a choice.”

“He kills people sometimes too.”

Esme nods. “Sometimes.”

“Is he going to hell for doing it?” Tanner inquires. “For killing people? Isn’t killing people bad?”

“Most of the time it is.”

“But they deserve it, yeah? The people daddy kills? They deserve it?”

“Why are you talking about this? You’re five.”

“I’m not a dumb little kid. I know what daddy does; I know what his job is. I do hear people talking, you know. I know he gets paid to hurt people. I know he gets money to kill them. I know he’s a mercenary.”

Esme scowls. “How do you even know that word?”

“I hear things. And they stay in my brain. I don’t care, that's what he does. It’s just his job, it’s not who he is. He’s daddy. That’s all that matters. That when he’s with me, he’s just my dad. He only hurts bad people. He wouldn’t hurt me.”

“That’s the last thing he’d ever do. Hurt you.”

“I know. And I know he won’t let anyone else hurt me either. I feel safe when I’m with him. Because he’s big and strong and I know he’d protect me no matter what. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt me.”

“No. He definitely wouldn’t.”

Tanner sighs heavily. “I really hope he’s not dead.”

“What? Why would you even say that?”

“He hasn’t called in two days. Daddy always calls. ALWAYS. Right before bed. But two days and no calls. What if the bad guys got him?”  He draws in a shaky breath as tears well in his eyes. “What if he’s dead and I never get to see him again?”

“Your dad is NOT dead.”

“What if he’s gone and I never get to hug him or his voice again? Or I never get to apologize for all the times I was bad and made him angry.”

“Tanner...oh my goodness…nugget…” she reaches out to brush his hair from his eyes. “Tanner...what in the world goes in that head of yours, baby boy?”

“I don’t  mean to be bad. I don’t make daddy mad. I don’t mean to make him yell sometimes. I don’t mean to make him hate me.”

“Okay, first of all…”  shes gives an appreciative smile to one of the other caregivers that rushes over when she sees Tanner in distress; taking Addie and giving Esme the freedom to scoop the now sobbing five year old into her arms. Cuddling him as she would a baby; across her body with one arm under the back of her legs, the other around his shoulders. “...daddy could never...EVER...hate you. He loves you. More than anything else in the world. He always has and he always will. Just because he gets mad and yells, doesn’t mean he hates you. And how often does he actually get mad and yell?”

“Not much.”

“It takes A LOT to get daddy THAT mad. And even if he does get angry, he still loves you. And it’s really not you he’s upset with. He’s just frustrated more than anything. And sometimes, that frustration isn’t even about you. It’s about him. He’s frustrated with himself. Because he struggles and it makes him sad and angry with himself and unfortunately, it gets taken out on your guys. Or me. Do you remember what I told you? About daddy’s brain?”

Tanner nods. “That it hurts. That it’s sad and in pain.”

“Well he’s working very hard at making his brain better. And the doctor is helping him and I’m helping him. And so are you guys. Because it’s you and your brothers and your sisters that make him the happiest?”

“Can’t he take some medicine to get better?”

“It’s not that easy. But he IS working on it. He works on it every day. And he’s tough and he’s strong but sometimes he needs help. He needs us to help him. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

The five year old nods.

“Daddy always loves you. He could never hate you. He helped make you. You’re part of him. You’re part of his new life; his second chance. There is no way he could ever hate you.  Could you ever hate him?”

“Never,” he sniffles. “I love him too much.”

“Well that’s how he feels about you. And no. He’s not dead.”

“How do you know?”

“I would know. Trust me. He’s just busy, nugget.  He’s got a lot going on. A lot on his mind and a lot to do.”

“He’s too busy to call us?”

“Sometimes he has to go places where he can’t use his phone. Where it’s not safe to call. But he will when he can. But he’s not dead. I promise.”

“I hope you’re right, mommy. ‘Cause I’d miss him. So much. I’d miss his face and his voice and smile and the way he tucks me in. And the way he always teases me about being so short. I get mad when other people do it, but not when daddy does it. It’s funny when daddy does it.”

“Well he makes fun of me for being short, too. I always tell him he's just ridiculously tall and has ridiculously big feet.”

“He DOES have really big feet,” Tanner declares, then giggles. “And his hand is bigger than my whole head, I swear. I bet he could kill someone with one punch. Do you think he could? Do you think he could break the guy at the grocery store in half?”

“What?” Esme laughs. “What guy at the grocery store?”

“The one that touched your bum. That guy with the weird hair and the Mustang. Do you think daddy could break him in half?”

“Well maybe not literally. But he could definitely hurt him pretty bad.”

“Could he kill him?”

“What is this obsession with your dad killing people?”

“I’m just curious. I wanna know how he killed someone with a garden rake. How is that possible?”

“I don’t know,” she says, as she combs her fingers through his hair. “I wasn’t there. I just know he did it. I don’t need the details.”

“And it was two people, yeah? How? I don’t understand it. I’ll have to ask him.”

Esme laughs. “You can ask, but I don’t he’s going to tell you.”

“Because you’ll tell him NOT to tell me.”

“Exactly. You need to know the details. Not with that kind of stuff.” She presses a series of kisses to his forehead, then his tears away with gentle fingertips. “Want some lunch?”

“I could eat. Can we have normal food? Like our normal? I miss our stuff.”

“I’ll see what’s in the kitchen and we’ll go from there.”

“Can I help? I wanna help.  Remember when I used to always help you when it was just me, you, Millie and TJ? When daddy didn’t live with us for a bit? I was little but I still helped.”

“You were a big help,” she praises. “You used to love to fold laundry.”

“And you used to wrap me in the warm towels from the dryer. I liked when you did that. And I used to bring you tissues when you were sad and you would cry. Do you remember that?”

“I do,” she presses a kiss to his cheek. “You were like a knight in shining armour.”

“I slept with you all the time when you were lonely. Because you missed daddy even if you were really mad at him and didn’t want him around.”

“It’s not that I didn’t want him around. I just…”

“I know why he wasn’t there. Why he had to leave. It’s okay, mommy. I don’t blame you. Daddy wasn’t daddy. And it made me sad. I didn’t like him very much. He was really mean. He yelled a lot. Especially at you. I didn’t like it. I wanted to punch him in the face.”

“My little protector.” She kisses his cheek once more, then tousles his hair. “You know too much for someone so small.”

He pouts. “I’m not small.”

“Yes, you are.” She nuzzles the tip of her nose against his temple. “And you always will be to me.”

***

It’s shortly before one in the afternoon when Tyler  arrives; stepping out of the chauffeured car provided by Anil. Eyes surveying  the enormous white stucco ‘Spanish hacienda’ inspired home;  immaculately kept lawns and gardens and an elaborate marble and gold fountain in the middle of the circular interlocking brick driveway. By normal standards, Mahajan’s had been lavish and large; sleek and modern, sparsely furnished and feeling cold and empty. Anil’s is unlike anything he’s ever seen;  the gigantic home somehow welcoming with its turquoise colored front door and matching shutters on every window. The grounds are equally sprawling; everything well maintained and expertly manicured; gardens bursting with various types of flowers in a wide variety of colors. Not the kind of place that you’d expect someone ex military to reside in. Hell, even his own home is far beyond anything he could have ever dreamt about or hoped for. The five million from the IRA making it possible to afford a place like that, and with Anil’s generous initial offer and the constant flow of money going into the bank, he won’t ever have to worry about living expenses ever again. No more lying awake at night wondering how the hell he was going to pay a mortgage and all the bills, never mind how he’d put clothes on his kids’ backs and food in their bellies.

He shrugs a simple black backpack onto his left shoulder, the simple movement causing him to wince to when the fabric of his shirt presses and rubs against his upper arms. The injuries are noticeable now, and far worse than he’d expected them to be; the knees that had pressed into his biceps leaving purple and black bruises that he can feel  right down to the bone. In a futile attempt to spare his kids the sight of the worst of the damage, he’d worn a long sleeve shirt to hide the marks, only to find that even the softest and smoothest of fabrics and the smallest of touches irritate his arms. His right is in a sling; forearm immobile across his chest, the shoulder long popped back into place yet still relatively useless and needing support. And his throat still throbs; rows of visible finger marks  and solid area where a forearm had been placed against his neck in hopes of holding him still or rendering him unconscious.

It’s an all over body ache like   he’s never experienced before; pain that seems to travel right to his very core, settling in and gnawing incessantly. Thankfully the after effects of the drug he’d been injected with have almost disappeared; only hampered by moments of temporary memory loss, confusion, and brief episodes of dizziness.  He’d slept for two days. Only waking long enough to make trips to the bathroom and to get as much liquid into him as possible. No energy for anything beyond that. Battling crushing fatigue and an incessant migraine that saw the need for the curtains to be tightly drawn and all lights and television turned off at all times.

As much as he wants to be in on the action and feel useful  to the team, the fact remains that right now, he’s anything but.  Knee still throbbing and limp much more pronounced, a store bought brace doing little to immobilize it or help alleviate some of the pain. He’s able to use his right hand, but has very limited movement in the shoulder itself, making even the smallest of tasks like dressing himself almost impossible. Deep bruises travel along the small of his back and into both kidney areas; the physician Anil had brought in the day after the attack believing the bruising most likely affects the organs as well. Each piece of damage already done to a broken and tattered body making him the weakest link and forcing him to step back for a couple of days. And for once he’d been relieved at the thought of being benched until the doctor declared him ‘medically fit’ to get back into the thick of things. And when Anil had assured him that the team would be fine without him and told him to take the next forty eight hours to spend with his family, he hadn’t stuck around long enough to question the decision.

One of the armed guards leads him to the backyard, and he can hear the kids before he sees them; their excited chattering, squealing, and giggling accompanied the sound of splashing water and Kyle’s deep, calm voice. And it’s his brother in law that sees him first; giving him a broad smile and a nod in greeting, then whispering something in Millie’s ear as she clings to his neck. Her wet hair sticks to the sides of her face and her forehead when she glances over her shoulder; eyes immediately sparkling and a bright, wide smile spreading across her face.

“Daddy!” She shrieks, and abandons holding onto Kyle’s neck in favour of a frantic doggy paddle that takes her to the nearest ladder.  “Daddy!”

Tyler had promised himself that he couldn’t crack. That he wouldn’t allow his tattered and fragile emotions get the better of him. His kids don’t need to see that; him bursting into tears and having a complete emotional meltdown. But he’d come so close...so fucking close...to never seeing them again. To never hearing their voices or feeling their hugs. To never seeing them grow up. And it’s impossible to completely hold back the desperation and relief; his throat feeling incredibly tight and tears burning his eyes as he manages to drop down to one knee as his daughter comes rushing towards him.

“Daddy!” Millie throws both arms around his neck, body drenched from the pool. “You’re here early! Mommy said you wouldn’t be here for a couple of days! But you’re already here!”

“I was able to get things done early.” Tyler explains. “Thought I’d show up and surprise you guys. What’s going on? You having a good time?”

“There’s lots of stuff to do here. Lots of cool stuff. But I still miss you. I wish you were here to do cool stuff WITH us.”

“I’ve got two days to spend with you guys. We can do all kinds of cool stuff.”

“Two whole days?”

He nods.

“Daddy gets to spend two whole days with us, Tyler,” she says to her younger brother, as he practically shoves her out of the way to get to his father. Another set of arms wrapping his neck; a second wet body pressed up against him.  None of that matters. The dampness of his clothes, the wet hair against his skin, the smell of chlorine. The only thing that matters is the press of those tiny bodies against his, the sound of their voices, and the smiles on their faces and the tears in their eyes.

“What happened?” Millie gingerly touches his shoulder. “You hurt it? Again?”

“Just banged it up a little. I need to keep it in this thing for a couple of days. It’s nothing serious. Hey…” he lays a hand on the back of her head and presses a kiss to her brow. “...it’s okay. Don’t cry. I’m fine. I’m here, right?”

She nods, valiantly holding back a flood of tears as her gentle and curious fingertips trace the bruises on his neck. “A bad guy did this to you?”

“A very bad guy.”

“Did you kill him? ‘Cause he hurt you? Did you kill him?”

“Don’t cry, Millie,” TJ implores, perched upon his dad’s thigh, an arm still around his neck. “Daddy’s fine. He came to visit. That means the bad guy lost. That daddy was stronger and meaner than the other guy was. He’s alive, right? No bad guy’s ever gonna kill daddy. He’s too strong and too smart.”

“Does it hurt?” Her voice cracks as she continues her exploration.

“A little. The other guy looks worse.”

“How come?” TJ asks. “Is he dead? Please tell me he’s dead. ‘Cause that’s what he gets for messing with you.”

“How about we NOT talk about killing people?” Tyler suggests, and accepts the hand that Kyle offers; able to pull himself to his feet without too much or the dizziness setting in.

“You look like you’ve been to war and back again,” Kyle remarks, then hands over Declan’s small yet solid and strong body, wrapped in a towel.

“Feels I’ve been to hell and back.” he admits, and runs a hand over his son’s damp hair and places a long, gentle kiss to his forehead.

“Well if you look like that but you’re here, I take it the other guy is in a body bag.”

Tyler nods in confirmation, then lets TJ and Millie pull him towards the house via the side pockets on his cargos; talking over each other as they prattle on about the home theatre and the playground and the animals and all of the things they can’t wait to show him.

“How close did it come?” Kyle asks. “To you NOT being here?”

“Too close for comfort, that’s for sure. Needed to get away for a couple of days; clear my head. Figured this was the best place to do it.”

“Only place that matters,” Kyle reasons. “Things were starting to get a little tense around here. Wasn’t too bad when you didn’t call the first day, but when you missed the second? I thought my sister was going to have a mental breakdown. Then I see this…” he nods in the direction of Tyler’s injured shoulder. “...they didn’t get a hold of you, did they?”

“I’d look a lot worse if they did. And I definitely wouldn’t be here right now.”

“Tyler...oh my God…” The patio door slams shut behind Esme as she rushes out of the house in her bare feet, and he barely has time to pass Declan to his brother in law before she’s tossing her arms around his neck; her position on edge of the deck making them nearly the same height. Careful not to embrace him too enthusiastically; mindful of the injured shoulder, feeling the press of his immobile forearm against her. “...oh my God…” her hands are in the hair at the back of his head, fingers pressing into his scalp. And he can feel the way her body trembles against his and her tears against the side of her neck, not even trying to hold it in. Audible sobs of relief that have her shaking. And Kyle whisks Millie and TJ away; sparing the kids the sight of their emotionally fragile parents and giving them some sense of privacy. “...I was worried sick about you. Where the hell have you been?”

“It’s a long story.” He manages to hold back in his own tears, but the relief is evident in his voice. “I should have called. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“I thought something happened to you. That they got a hold of you. And neither Yaz or Koen or Ovi would tell me anything but I could tell something was wrong. I figured it couldn’t be too bad if they weren’t showing up to tell me you’re dead. Are you okay?   Both hands are still in his hair when she pulls back to look at him. “Jesus Christ, what happened?”

“Not right now, okay?” He rubs the small of her back, then covers her lips with his in a long, slow kiss. “Later. When the kids are in bed. I don’t want them hearing them. I don’t even want YOU hearing it.”

“This goes way beyond someone just jumping you, doesn’t it.”

Tyler nods.

“What the fuck happened?” Gentle fingertips travel over the top of his shoulder and onto the side of his neck. “Never mind that. HOW the fuck did it happen? I don’t understand how someone could get THAT close to you? How…?”

His hand moves to the side of her face and he silences her with another kiss. Longer this time. Deeper. Harder. It’s desperate and it’s needy; fuelled by the realization that he comes so goddamn close to never getting a moment like this again. IF they’d managed to get a hold of him, he would have spent days, weeks, even months, being put through unbelievable agony and torture. Knowing his family was still out there; completely vulnerable without him to protect them. And he knows that Mahajan would have not only  let Esme know that he was still alive, but he would have made sure she knew exactly what was being done to him. With no hope of him ever surviving it.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.”  Her voice is just shy of a whisper as she embraces him tightly, and she presses her lips against the side of his neck. “That you’re okay and you're here and I don't have to worry about you anymore. How long can you say? Overnight?”

“Couple days.”

“That’s more than I thought,” she sniffles. “I’ll take it.”

“It’s okay now,” Tyler places a kiss on her temple. “I’m here. Everything’s okay now,”

“It’s so far from okay. I’M so far from okay. But you’re alive and you’re in one piece and that’s all that matters right now. I was so scared, Tyler. I was so fucking scared.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you, baby. That’s the last thing I wanted. It was out of my control. Believe me when I say that..”

“I do. I do believe you. I just…” she pulls away once again and takes his face in her hands. “...I’m just so happy to see your stupidly handsome face.”

He gives a small chuckle and pecks her lips. “Where’s the baby? And Tanner?”

“They’re both napping.  Tanner had a rough night. He’s having a hard time. And we really need to have a talk about him. About how smart he is. I can’t wrap my head around just HOW smart.”

“We’ll talk about it.”

“Go and see him,” she urges. “He’s in the living room. On the couch. He’s going to be so happy to see you. I’M so happy. And relieved. So fucking relieved.”

“It’s alright, Esme. I’m here.” He kisses her once more, then pulls her tightly against him with his one good arm. “I’m here.”

*****

Tyler spends a half an hour standing at the side of Addie’s crib. Watching her as she sleeps and reaching out to gingerly remove the soother than dangles precariously from her lips. The hand is soft and gentle that he lays against her hair; palm cupping the back of her head, thumb brushing repeatedly over her ear and then along the top of her cheek. And it’s then that he allows the tears to come. In that still, quiet room with the breeze fluttering the curtains and Addie’s tiny body rising and falling with each slow, steady breath. The enormity of what happened...what COULD have happen...finally hitting him. It’s the closest he’s been to death in nearly seven years. Had Farhad been successful at his attempt on the bridge and had Esme NOT been there to save him, his death would have been relatively quick; bleeding out in minutes and likely losing consciousness from shock before that happened. If his assailant had gotten a hold of him, death would have eluded him. At least until Mahajan felt he had learned his lesson.

He almost didn’t get this chance. The opportunity to see his infant daughter again. To see the way those long, dark eyelashes brush against the tops of her cheeks or how those soft, pink lips as if suckling from a bottle. To hear her soft breaths and the little murmurs and sighs. He’d come within minutes...maybe even seconds...of never experiencing her first birthday or seeing her take her first steps or hearing her call him daddy for the first time. It’s a sound -an experience- that always brings tears to his eyes and takes his breath away; the moment each of his children looked at him and smiled and finally knew exactly who he was and what to call him. Nothing on earth can possibly come close to that feeling.

He leaves her to sleep. Pressing the tips of two fingers to his lips before softly placing them against hers, then using a forearm to clear the tears from his face as he leaves the room.  He’d slept for two days yet he’s still so fucking tired; body feeling as if it’s on autopilot, as if he’s simply going trough the motions of living. And while it’s a tremendous relief to be with his family and it was desperately needed, he hates that the sabbatical has been forced upon him. That some fucking asshole hired by Mahajan had not only gotten that close to him, but had been able to inflict the damage he had. It makes Tyler question everything; his confidence, his abilities, his skills. Whether or not he’s reached the end of the line. Forty is considered relatively old and washed up as far as mercenaries are concerned. And even without his underlying health issues, he can’t help but wonder if the attack is a sign that he’s lost his age and it’s time to let go. To leave field work behind him and just concentrate on running things in the background.

Tanner is still fast asleep on the couch; flat on his stomach with both arms wrapped around a throw pillow and a pout curving his lips.  And he groans and grimaces as he kneels alongside his son, combing his fingers through his hair and pushing the wayward locks off his forehead; palm against his cheek, thumb brushing along the slope of his nose. And it isn’t until he leans in to press a kiss to his temple that Tanner stirs; giving a long, almost sad sigh and his eyes opening slightly.

“Daddy?” He breathes.

“Hey,” Tyler gives a soft, comforting smile. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Am I dreaming?”

“No, mate. You’re not dreaming. I’m really here.”

Those big blue eyes slowly widen; tears filling them, lower lip and chin quivering. “Daddy…” it comes out as a choked sob. “...you’re here...you’re okay...I was so worried about you. I was scared you were dead.”

“Well I’m not.” He lays a hand on the back of Tanner’s head and presses his lips to his brow, then his temple as those tiny arms circle his neck. “I’m here. With you.”

“You didn’t call. For two days! It scared me. I got worried. I thought the bad guys got you.”

“I’m sorry, Tanner. I didn’t mean to scare you. That’s the last thing I wanted to do.  Things got a little crazy and I couldn’t get to my phone.  I  am so sorry, mate. You forgive me?”

Tanner nods. “I was dreaming about you.”

“You were? What were you dreaming about?”

“We went to Disney World. Remember how you said we could go when I was old enough? And that we could go on rides together? Do you remember?”

“I remember.”

“That's what it was about. Going there and going on rides. And eating lots of joke food. And watching the fireworks. You let me sit on your shoulders. I like when you let me do that. Maybe we can go soon to Disney World?”

“Maybe. I’d have to talk to your mom about it.”

“You got hurt?”

“A little.”

“The bad people hurt you?”

“Just a bit.”

“What did you do to them? Did you hurt them back?”

Tyler nods.

“Did you kill them?”

“Yeah,” he admits. “I did.”

“Does it make you sad? To kill people?”

“Sometimes, I guess.”

“Why? If they deserve it, why would you be sad?”

“It isn’t an easy thing to do. Even when they do deserve it.”

“Don’t be sad about it, daddy. You kill people so you can come home and see us. That’s why you do it, right?”

Tyler nods, swallowing around the painful lump of emotional sitting in his throat, tears sparkling in his eyes.  Feeling regretful. Ashamed. Embarrassed of the person he’s become and the things he’s resorted to. The damage that his own hands have been able to inflict. The pain. The torture. The death.

“I don’t care if that's what you do,” Tanner continues. “For your job.  I don’t care if you kill people. They're not good people. But YOU are. Only good people help. Only good people fight back. That’s what you always TJ when he fights the bullies at school. You said that good people always stick for people who can’t stick up for themselves. And that’s what you do, right? You help people who can’t do it themselves.”

“I guess that’s  part of it. There’s so much more to it, though.”

“I don’t care what you have to do. Just as long as you come back. That’s all that matters. I don’t care what you have to do when you’re gone. As long as you’re daddy when you come home.”

He sniffles loudly and wipes away the tears that manage to escape. “You…” he presses a kiss to Tanner’s forehead. “...are way too pure and perfect for this world, you know that? This world doesn’t deserve someone like you.”

“Did you get to say? Overnight?”

“I get to stay for TWO nights.”

His entire face brightens. “Really?”

“Really,” Tyler confirms.

“We can do things together?”

“Yup. But I just gotta be careful with my shoulder. And my knee. It’s kinda messed up too.”

“Maybe you’re getting too old to fight the bad people.”

Tyler frowns. “Excuse you? How old do you think I am?”

“Uncle Koen said you used to ride a dinosaur to school.”

“He did, did he?”

Tanner nods.

“Remind me to flush the toilet the next Uncle Koen is in the shower.”

Tanner giggles. “That’s savage, daddy.”

“You want to come outside with me? So I can’t spend some time with everyone? Wanna show me the animals?”

Tanner nods enthusiastically, then tightens his hold around his father’s neck when he tries to stand. “I love you, daddy. I’m sorry for the times I made you mad and I made you yell. That you hated me.”

“Mate, I could never…ever...hate you. You’re my son. I helped your mom make you. No way I could ever hate you. And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that way. For ever yelling at you. I shouldn’t do that. You forgive me?”

“Of course I do. You’re my dad.”

“I love you, Tanner,” Tyler wraps an around his son’s tiny frame and draws him tightly into him; eyes closed and his chin resting on the top of the five year old’s head. “You have no idea how much.”

[wayward-musings]

Weeping Willow

Noon was the laziest time of the day for anybody who lived in my neighbourhood. It was the time of the day when streets were empty, roads deserted and, instead of children, lizards lay on the small rocks in the park, basking in the sun. But had anybody chanced to stroll by churchyard street that windy afternoon, they would have seen a greatly dejected figure shuffling along the lane, under the bougainvillea. Shoulders sagging, gait heavy and a small bunch of purple wildflowers clutched in one hand, they would have seen Tom Wylde walking to the cemetery.

It was a peaceful place, the cemetery. Long stalks of grass swept across the lush expanse, dotted in neat rows with headstones of granite and marble. The sun did not glare as it did in other areas, and the wind itself seemed to stand still - A cool draught sometimes chanced to ruffle the stalks of grass.

A tree here, a tree there, a grave in the shade. Another under the willow tree.

Tom Wylde looked across the field and began pacing.

First row, second row, third and fourth. Sixth from the left.

He stood there, looking down at the smooth, simple marble stone, the only mark his mother had left on the mortal world. Etched into the stone were the words :

Jessica Wylde   

May her Soul rest in peace.

He brushed off a few stray leaves and sat down. Placing the wildflowers on the headstone, he began.

"Afternoon, Mother," he said, "It's exactly the kind of day you would have liked. Weather's fine, too. Except my day's gone all wrong. " - he gave a shaky laugh - "I got fired, which means I'm unemployed. Unemployed - do you hear that, Mother? I've got no money for food - the landlord's been demanding rent and I've got no money to give him."

He sat quietly, his head between his knees.

"What did you use to say, Mother? 'This too shall pass.'  Well, Mother, it seems that this damn well won't. I shall have died of starvation in a few days." He began rocking back and forth, veering on the edge of hysteria. Tears ran freely down his cheeks. "Say something, Mother! Why won't you? Where are you when I need you? You left me when I was so young." - voice faltering - "Come back - I just don't know what to do." He dissolved into tears, and shook fiercely as his body was wracked by sobs.

Anybody who might have chanced to pass by the churchyard that Tuesday afternoon would have seen a man, broken by grief and misery, shaking and drawing in ragged breaths amid heart-wrenching sobs.

Tom Wylde wept his heart out, and just when he thought that he could not produce any more tears, he felt a small hand on his shoulder. He looked up, startled.

It was a young girl - no more than twelve. Her shining golden hair was pulled back with a ribbon, and she wore a spotless pair of dungarees over a bright yellow shirt. Tom Wylde watched, entranced, as the girl smiled, dimples denting her rosy cheeks, and then proceeded to sit herself down on the grass next to him, as if it had been her spot all along.

"I'm Willow Hillman. I heard you crying," she began cheerfully, as if she had not just borne witness to a mental breakdown. "And some of the things you said. Although I shouldn't have been eavesdropping. Everybody tells me it's a bad thing to do. I'm sorry for that. Although I suppose it's a good thing I heard, though, probably, otherwise I wouldn't have come here to cheer you up. Anyway, don't worry. It'll all get better. That's what my mother says . Here," She thrust a large, fluffy dandelion into Tom Wylde's hands. He looked down at it, slightly dazed, wondering why this little girl had suddenly decided to talk to him, of all people. Hadn't he scared her off with his breakdown? All the same, what was a twelve-year-old doing in a cemetery?

He looked at the dandelion and then turned his head to thank the little girl, but she was gone.

***

True to Willow Hillman's word, things did get better for Tom Wylde. For once, he decided to quit moping around and actually get some work done. He sent out applications for jobs and ran various errands for people to make ends meet.

Each day he went to the cemetery, and each day he was greeted by the same toothy grin and the same small hands holding a dandelion for him. 

He learnt a great deal about his little companion, too.

"Do you know how to make a daisy chain?"

Willow and Tom sat on the grass, plucking bits of it and throwing it at each other. Willow flashed him a grin. The sunlight turned her hair to liquid gold, and she looked as if she were made of the woods herself - a little nature spirit. It was just in the way she looked wholly at home in the meadow - regardless of it being a cemetery.

Tom smiled as he laced daisy stems together - the first smile of his in many months.

And truth be told, anyone who would have passed by the cemetery that day would have seen a tall and lanky man, running after a little girl, who curiously resembled a wood sprite- in the way the sunlight illuminated her frame; daisy chains tipping precariously on both their heads.

***

"Do you like trees, Willow?"

"My favourite is the bougainvillea."

"Why?"

" 'Cause it reminds me of myself. It's sweet and strong and it can stand anything."

Tom remained silent.

***

"You know, Willow, my mother - she left me when I needed her most. She died when I was eight."

"Really? Mine too!"

***

"I don't like cars."

"Why?"

" 'Cause one killed my mommy."

***

"It'll get better, don't worry."

***

A warm day.

A tall man, sitting next to a pint-sized child.

A young girl, with hair the colour of the golden sun, silhouetted in the evening light of the waning sun next to her newest friend.

Daisy chains, strung with threads of friendship.

Bougainvillea trees - delicate, yet strong.

Wispy white weeds, laced with self-discovery and blown on with gratitude for the existence of Nature.

The silken bonds of Friendship.

Peace.

Affection.

Hope.

***

Days turned to weeks, the sun rose and set each day as the moon waxed and waned through the nights - and it all led up to that one day when Tom Wylde was once again seen striding to the churchyard, this time with a spring in his step, a white envelope clutched tightly in one hand.

Tom Wylde had had none to share his happiness and sorrows with until a few weeks ago, when a little girl named Willow had waltzed into his life like the sprite she was, and he was bursting with joy and anticipation.

His days of sending out job applications had paid off, and Messrs. Barn and James had replied in the affirmative, offering a top-notch managerial position, saying that they would be 'glad to have you in our company', and that he was to start on this Monday the seventeenth of August.

Spotting a field of wispy white weeds - dandelions- he stopped to pick one for the little twelve-year-old who had brought so much joy into his life. He would never forget this day - the fourth of May- when things in his life took a different turn.

However, the moment he set foot in the cemetery, he sensed something was wrong. The air no longer stirred with the cool draught, birds remained mute and immobile, hidden among the dense foliage of the tall, lush trees. The whole meadow seemed to be holding its breath in anticipation.

All was silent, and no sounds reached Tom Wylde's ears - except one.

The heartbroken, gut-wrenching sobs of an inconsolable child. 

Panic and fear filled Tom Wylde's heart. The lone dandelion clutched in his hand, he felt as if he was in a daze. He felt his legs move quickly towards the source of the sound.

Later, he remembered seeing the sunny face that greeted him every day twisted into an expression of profound grief. Some distance away, Willow Hillman had looked up at him with a tear stained face and large, wet blue eyes. Her golden hair had glinted as it always did in the sunlight, and with one last smile - and one last tear trailing down her rosy cheek, she had faded away before his very eyes.

He stood, stunned - entranced, as the only thing that had brought light back into his dull life faded into oblivion. He felt himself walking, running to the spot where he had seen Willow. His head spun ; his mind was reeling. He was shell-shocked, screaming her name until his throat felt hoarse and raw, as though shards of glass had been poured down it. He felt wetness on his cheeks, his eyes smarting, the sun brash and burning against his face, the very last remnants of hope ebbing away from his soul.

He had never felt so heartbroken in his life. His bones no longer felt like bones, his brain felt useless and unable to comprehend this strange reality; and the world collapsed around him as his knees hit the grass.

His eyes fell upon a lone headstone of pure white marble before him - the very one he had been weeping over. Etched into it were the words :

Willow Hillman

Beloved daughter and friend.

You shall forever live on in our hearts.

Taken from us on this the second day of May.

Anybody who might have passed by the churchyard that bright, sunny Sunday morning might have seen a tall, young man, collapsed on his knees, staring dumbstruck at the grave in front of him as a lone bougainvillea petal fluttered down to rest on his coat-clad shoulder.

***

Fin.

A note: This is something I wrote a long time ago, when I had just started seriously trying to improve my writing. I think I've developed in some ways since then, but I think this is a good starter piece when it comes to posting my originals on Tumblr! (I'm on Wattpad as TheWodehouseAddict). I'd really like to thank @parkerpeter24 and @kelieah for encouraging me to post this! (Thank you so, so much for helping me break out of my comfort zone 😅)

[carl-grimxz]

Confused Feelings

Carl Grimes x Reader

PART 1

Summary: You and Carl are friends but he suddenly starts to act strangely and withdrawn like he is avoiding you. The trouble is you can’t work out why. 

Word Count: 2,940

Warnings: None :)

A/N: I’ve never written one of these before... but I love Carl and miss him soooo much so felt like giving it a go. I’ll likely write a few parts to this so please enjoy!

The leaves had fallen and the air was cold. Freezing actually, much worse than it was yesterday by far. Strange that, how quickly winter seems to come. No matter how much Rick drills into us that we need to be prepared for the new conditions this season would bring us, I never do feel ready for it. Then again are we ever really prepared for anything these days? Doesn’t feel like it. 

Even though we spend hours huddled round discussing plans. Strategising. We always end up here. On the road with nothing but the desire to live carrying us forward from place to place. At least we are here though. Still breathing. Surviving together. The majority of us at least. That’s the main thing. That’s what I keep thinking to myself anyway. While I’m standing here, attempting to keep my hands somewhat warm in my coat pockets, I look down at my worn boots as they scuff the frosty fallen leaves across the gravelly road. The time has come again. We’re stood around, waiting for Rick to give us our next move. We’ve been heading North for the most part. I can’t exactly remember why. I’m sure the situation is just as bad up there, but I do trust Ricks judgement, so I don’t necessarily need to understand why. I tend to zone out during these conversations. Not on purpose. I just do. Probably because I’m never involved in the decision making part of it. 

A harsh gust of wind rushes past us. So bitterly cold that it actually makes me lose my breath for a second. At this point I glance up at Carl to see if he’s finding it as intense as I am. We make eye contact and his lips curl up into the faintest smile. So subtle I feel that if it were anyone else looking at him right now, I’m sure they wouldn’t even notice the smile that admittedly, is pretty microscopic, but is definitely there. His hands move to the outer edges of his oversized jacket and grips it tighter to his body, telling me he’s just as cold as I am. I feel almost relieved. Not that he’s cold but that it isn’t just me overreacting. Everyone in this group is so unfalteringly strong, except maybe Eugene, that sometimes it’s exhausting just trying to tough it out and keep pace with them. It’s moments like this that I’m thankful I have Carl. He seems to get it, I dunno. 

I look away and tune into the others conversation. Almost like she’s reading my mind, Maggie speaks up. “Rick we gotta get outta the open and find some shelter. It’s already pretty nippy and it’s gon get even colder the later it gets”. Everyone glances at Rick and he pauses for a moment. He brings the free hand that isn’t holding his daughter up and drags it across his face, scratching at his beard. He has his eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought and glances around at each of us clearly coming to a decision. He sighs, “Yah you’re right. We could all do with finding somewhere to rest up and get warm”.

“There was a place I saw. Bout a couple miles back, a barn I think. Found it when I was hunting earlier. Didn’t think it would be much use to us then, but it’d do for the night. Light a fire, warm up”. Daryl half grunted. Thank god. I’ve almost forgotten what it feels like to be warm.

“Did it look clear?”, Michonne asked.

“More or less. May be a couple walkers, nothin we can’t handle”.

With that we were off walking back the way we came. Along the path, a dense layer of trees either side and what seemed like never ending road straight on, as far as we could see. Rick said it wouldn’t take too long to get there. Less than an hour apparently, even in our weakened state. While we were walking I found myself in one of my daydreams. Just zoning out. Truthfully I was pretty down today, the past few days actually. I can’t put my finger on the exact cause. A mixture of things I suppose. Low on supplies, low on energy. I mean also it may be that Carl and I haven’t spoken much since a couple days ago. Everything was fine, or so I thought but then he went off to speak with Michonne and after that it’s honestly felt like he’s been avoiding me. I don’t know what they spoke about and it could just be me going crazy, but it’s definitely been strange ever since. I dunno, he’s a boy. The other day Rosita told me that boys think girls are crazy but that it’s really the other way round. That was right after she’d had an argument with Abraham cause he’d said something that upset her, can’t remember what. She was not happy though.

I was pulled away from my thoughts when I felt someone nudge my shoulder with there’s. It was Carl. Last I looked he was walking up front with his dad but I guess he dropped back for whatever reason. “Hey” I said, trying to sound like I was in a better mood than I actually was. 

“What’re you thinkin about?”

“Oh uh, nothing. Just tired you know?” A look of understanding washed over his face. “Yeah me to”, he sighed “But I guess we can rest soon. Eat those rabbits Daryl hunted earlier. Sit round the fire. Then all our problems will seem smaller”. He half smiled, eyes meeting mine, waiting for a response. I’m just now realising how blue they actually are. Like the ocean. Funny, I’ve never noticed that before. “That’s true”. I felt the corners of my mouth raising upwards slightly as I looked up at him. 

He was right. That’s why I liked Carl. He was usually right, but not in an annoying way. You can trust his thought process and judgement is all. I rely on him to make me think more rationally than perhaps I would if left to my own devices. I’m a pessimist to be truthful, but not so much with him around. Carl is my best friend actually. We’re all a family, but there’s something with Carl and I. I don’t know what it is. We just click. Maybe it’s got something to do with the fact that we’re the same age, so it’s like we’re really going through this together. You know, we’ve missed out on the exact same things that kids our age are supposed to experience. So there’s an unspoken link bringing us closer together, and we are close. All we have to do is look at each other and it’s like we’re speaking a thousand words. With one look. He gets it. To be honest, our main form of communication is a simple knowing glance these days. Ever since Terminus and everything that we’ve been through since, spirits have been extremely low within the whole group. In fact, peoples moods have been almost as big a problem as the lack of food. Our energy levels and the general lack of hope amongst us means we don’t really feel like doing much talking at the moment. That’s why I appreciate Carl. He’s just as low as the rest of us but somehow he manages to do a pretty decent job of getting past that and thinking forward. Even if he is acting weird recently.

A while of strangely uncomfortable silent walking later, and just like Daryl said, five minutes through the woods and we approached a barn. Lucky for us no walkers in sight. Although we’ve all come to understand that that doesn’t mean there aren’t any there at all. As we came up close to it I realised that the area surrounding the barn was actually quite pretty. It sat in the middle of a large opening in the woods, enclosed in a field of flowers. I don’t know what kind they were but the colours were mostly indigos and violets and were so beautiful that it was verging on emotional. Probably from lack of sleep more than anything else, but there are so few things of beauty left in this world now. I really needed to see something like this. I’m sure we were all thinking the same thing because every one of us was smiling. Grinning even, and that hasn’t happened in a long time. “So beautiful” Sasha beamed,

“Right?!” Rosita added “I hope it’s clear inside”.

“Let’s find out” Rick responded with his hands firmly on his gun. “Daryl, Abraham, Sasha, Rosita with me”.

The rest of us stayed put outside, on watch for walkers, letting the others do their thing. 

As I was scanning the tree line I caught Carl staring at me. That’s happened a lot lately. I’ll just so happen to glance at him and he’ll already be looking my way. He usually just pretends that he’s looking elsewhere and I let him believe that I don’t really notice, but I do. I was about to ask him what his deal was but decided not to bother when Rick and the others wandered back out of the barn. 

“All clear. Looks in good shape actually, we’ll be good here for the night”. Relief washed over me. I am actually exhausted. I really don’t think I could cope if we had to spend another night on the side of the road again. A few sighs of relief could be heard from us and in through the heavy wooden doors we all went. The size of this place is actually pretty impressive. Something I had missed initially due to being distracted by the flowers. Somehow I was reminded of the poppy scene in The Wizard of Oz.

As soon as we were inside, everyone got to settling in. Organising the little supplies we had, starting a small fire. That kind of thing. Daryl went straight on watch, looking through the small window on the left of the door. This place isn’t too bad. It’s large enough to fit us all in comfortably and there’s some hay in the far corner that it looks like we’ll be sleeping on. Glenn and Maggie were already setting down blankets and the odd sleeping bag over there. It didn’t take long for me to warm up slightly. Just being under shelter and not out in the wind made a lot better. Such a relief, I really do hate being cold. Rick and Carl attempting to get a fire going in the centre of the barn. I thought for a second. Should I go help? Maybe get to talk to Carl and work out why he’s acting funny. I think I will. I’ll play it cool though. 

I started walking over to them and Rick saw me coming almost immediately. We both exchanged smiles but then he nudged Carl to make him see me I guess, then left to go talk to Sasha. That’s weird. Carl looked up ever so quickly and then just carried on organising the fuel for the fire as if he didn’t even see me. “Need some help?” I asked as soon as I reached him to brake the tension that was between us all of a sudden.

“Nah, I’m good”, he mumbled, “But thanks though” he added, smiling as he looked up at me stood above him noticing that I had my eyebrows furrowed in a frown. “Ok…” I said slowly as I took a seat on the ground next to him, legs crossed. Carl said nothing, just stared at the tiny fire that his dad had just managed to start before he left. This is definitely odd now. He’s never been this quiet before. Not around me anyway. What is with him? “That was quick.” I uttered, referring to the fire “What?”, he asked, clearly confused. “The fire”, I explained, pointing to it, “You got it lit really fast. Impressive”. 

“Oh, thanks. Well it was dad actually. I didn’t really do anything”. I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. It didn’t seem to work. He still just sat there staring at the slowly expanding fire. I’d had enough now. I had to know what was going on inside that head of his. “What’s up with you?”. It wasn’t nearly as assertive as I had meant it to come out. My voice was soft. I just wanted him to talk to me. His head flicked up. I had his attention. “What? Nothing” he grumbled at me. A lie. I could tell he was hiding something. “Don’t lie Carl. I know something’s wrong. You’ve been acting weird the past couple days”. He watched me as I spoke. He had a guilty look on his face like he knew what I was talking about. He stayed silent as I carried on, “Except for when we spoke for like two minutes on the walk over here, you’ve been avoiding me”. I looked to him for an explanation but still silence. Whatever. “Ok fine”, I’m getting annoyed now. I got up to leave, “I’ll just leave you alone alright? That’s clearly what you wa-“, “Wait” He murmered. I turned back towards him. He had his hand around my wrist but no sooner than I had noticed it was there, he’d taken it away again, almost shocked he grabbed it in the first place. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I just feel weird. I dunno why. I just feel like stuff has changed”. He looked down again, almost ashamed. What is he talking about? “I don’t understand. What stuff?”. I really wanted to know. I stood there looking down at him.

“Ever since we had that run in with those walkers. You almost got bit. It scared me… and now it’s different” Carl sighed. 

“It scared me too”, I admitted. I was trying not to think about that to be honest. It was pretty frightening, I’m not gonna lie. I was millimetres away from having my neck torn open. “Hey Y/N!” Carol called across to me. Perfect timing… not. She likely wanted help preparing the food. I usually help her. I glanced over to her and then back at Carl who was studying me closely, probably hoping for me to say something more than what I had. “Speak later, ok?” I asked him hopefully.  

“Yeah sure”. It was almost a whisper.

I did a lot of thinking while Carol and I prepared the food. It was mostly quiet between us. Carol isn’t a massive talker, but I liked it that way sometimes. While I watched the squirrel get yacked apart ready to cook I over-analysed everything Carl had said to me. Replayed my near death experience with the walker over and over in my head. It was actually Carl that saved me. I had dropped my knife stupidly and was trying to hold the terrifying monster at arms length with both hands. Trying and failing. As it was seconds from ripping my neck open with it jaw when Carl sent a bullet straight through it’s skull. The walker dropped to the ground and I stepped away in shock, my eyes wide as I came to terms with what had nearly happened. Carl ran over from where he was, which wasn’t that far away to be fair and before I knew it his arms were around me. Engulfing me so tightly it was as if his life depended on it. I wondered if that was what Carl was talking about, now that I think of it. That’s the only time we’ve ever done that. Hugged. I didn’t think anything of it at the time but when we finally pulled apart after what felt like a lifetime, I looked into his eyes and I had seen something in them that I had never seen before. I can’t describe it. He just looked different. Scared. Really terrified. Not long after that was when we had managed to find somewhere to settle down and set up camp in amongst the trees, and Carl went off for that chat with Michonne. Carol brought my attention back to her with a smile. “Come on Y/N, let’s go serve up some squirrel!”.

We were all sat around the fire. There were a few conversations going on but it was pretty quiet. I was just observing everyone. I found myself watching Sasha who was chatting with Michonne over their bowls of squirrel and canned tomatoes. She must have felt me watching because she looked across at me and smiled, giving me a nod. I’ve always been super close to Sasha. She looks out for me and we get along well cause we have a lot of the same views on everything I think. She’s very straight to the point and thinks with her head. I admire her for that. Sasha has often told me if I ever need to talk to her about anything I can. She might just be able to help me work Carl out. Although I think I may need help working myself out as well. Ever since he brought up that walker encounter I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. About him. The fear and adrenaline must have caused me to block it out at first but the more I remember it, the more I understand Carl for acting oddly. Something about that hug and the look on his face has changed something. He was right. God damnit he’s always right. As soon as this food is done with, I’m heading straight to Sasha.

[ayakashiramblings]

ABC NSFW Headcanons: Koga Kitamikado

So... in my absence, the only time I went on ARR was to vote for Koga and Aoi. And I just realized one of my top boys is literally at the top! Hence, I’m going to do a super late tribute... 

ALPHABETICAL STYLE!!!

... I’m so sorry for ‘D’ though. Click on ‘Keep Reading’ to NOT SEE IT.

A - ‘Aftercare’ (What they’re like after sex)

Once you’ve been intoxicated by Koga… YOU GET EVEN MORE DRUNK WITH SAKE.

Seriously, a nightcap is what ends a nice round of magic… because he has much more in store!

“I’ve rolled the die to give me a one! That’s super odd!”

Goddamnit, kiss this dork, please. 

Because only amongst soft kisses will the both of you be lulled to sleep.

B - ‘Body’ (Body Part of Yours he Loves)

Your head.

… Wait, no, not like that. Sort of. Hmm...

It’s just that he wants to be closer to you and he’s extremely soft for forehead touches during these tender moments. 

Feels like that’s where you share everything, your thoughts, your deepest secrets... everything. 

C - ‘Cum’ (How does his cum taste like/look like)

You know what? I think it’s pretty good.

At first, I wasn’t certain because he is a sake lover and that will affect the taste.

Plus, he didn’t really say what he likes in Hot Pot, although I’m guessing it has to include thinly sliced meat and leafy vegetables. The thing is beef isn’t good but if he pairs it with the right non-cruciferous veggies, it could come out decently.

Another thing I’ve noticed is his regular food intake. Sure, it’s called an old man’s diet like what Kuya says but pickles and rice for breakfast are good if you want extra flavour.

So it’s one of the tops in the list for the fact it has enough volume with a taste that isn’t bitter, salty or sweet. It’s just... 

Warm. 

D - ‘Dirty Secret’ (DUH)

He hates peaches but...

Your butt... is like the only kind of peach he would ever consider eating. 

Brown peach, peachy peach, pale peach, green peach and whatever the colour your panties are today, he’s going to really secretly enjoy the fuzzy texture but also silently HATE that the closest comparison is his least favourite fruit. 

E - ‘Experience’ (Does he know what he is doing?)

He’s had a few partners but that doesn’t negate the fact that he literally takes any challenge by... the horns. 

He does go to the Entertainment sector but honestly, he’d get closer to the sake bottles then the women there first.

That said, he’s very observant and can suss out any sensitive zones you have to get you screaming all night is all I’m saying. 

F - ‘Favorite Position’ (Again, duh)

Don’t kill me. 

But it’s the CowGirl position.

Not only does he get to see you in all of your magnificent, unclothed glory... (or maybe with clothes? It’s up to you, hun.)

But there’s something about a strong woman just topping him that makes him go wild, especially when she uses his horns to guide him to her entrance as she sinks down on him.

G - ‘Goofy’ (Serious or humorous?)

Dude, expect the both of you to burst out in ridiculous giggles if any supposedly sexy line comes out wrongly.

“Hey, Koga, are you feeling... horny?”

“Depends, are we going to be thoroughly... purified in the shower?”

H- ‘Hair under THERE’ (Pubic Hair Treatment, does the carpet match the shades?)

He does get uncomfortable if any hair on him gets too long for... certain reasons. 

So yup, don’t expect a bush.

It’s interesting how the middle is entirely crimson red while the surround curls are black but Koga sometimes wonders if his lower part is bleeding as a result. 

I - Intimacy

Ladies and gentlemen, the #1 in intimacy. 

He really... really... REALLY does not want to ever lose you again so he keeps his body so close to yours.

Every time he recalls the past inferno, he would be sure to drown out the memories by stroking the flames of passion with his fingertips against your skin. 

And he will check that your eyes are still full of life, even when both of you are in the midst of a climax.

J-Jack Off (Masturbation)

Honestly? Maybe once in a blue moon last time.

This man has had to deal with running businesses, establishing connections, terrible nightmares of losing his woman, and controlling his Carnage. As cheery as he is, he’d rather dedicate his free time to helping the Capital.

Until he met you NOT dying in his arms. Now, he had to give in to these sudden carnal urges that are coming at him with full force to make up for his lack of horny times in his teens. Usually, he tries to satiate them with actually having you but if you are busy, he will do so.

K- Kinks (One or two of his kinks)

Get his horns. 

Have I emphasized it enough? 

No? 

GRAB THEM.

L - Location (Favourite places to do the do)

His office. 

A certain spot will be designated, far away from the precious books that he has accumulated but always near the spot where he can nap for just a short while... 

Only to be reminded of your sweet moans, flushed face and great, now he’s wide awake and has to work off that desire... 

BY DOING MORE WORK.

... Kuya decides to invite you more often to the house because he is getting really tired of seeing Koga not actually taking a break. 

M - Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Canonically, he gets jealous easily. Like, he actually beats Aoi in that department. 

Mention Toichiro giving you a beautiful kimono, Kuya sleeping at your place, Past! Koga giving you a book... wait, what?

Yeah, you catch the drift. No matter who it is, he’s going to want to reaffirm your feelings for him afterwards. 

Oh, but the ultimate turn-on is you beating him in a drinking contest.

... God, I’m making him sound like an alcoholic.

N - ‘No’ (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Absolutely. No. Sharp objects. 

Not only will they hurt you, but he’s also worried that if he himself gets pricked, the Carnage will act up.

He IS kinda into the thought of you wielding a sword though.

O- Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

The God of Giving. He gives so, so, so much. 

Whatever did we do to earn this deity?

Ok, to be honest, it was hard at first because he was worried about the horns poking your thighs and tried to do it as a human at first. 

Until you insisted that he be comfortable and try working out the best position for both of you. 

Do suck him right though. He won’t deny his love for a good blowjob. 

He’s even turned the idea of mutual masturbation into a game - who can make the other come first? The winner gets a prize (probably who is going to save everyone else’s asses next time)

P - Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual)

Koga tries not to be rough, considering both of your... er... jobs and shared tragedy together. 

If you grab his horns though... you asked for it. 

Suddenly, he is thrusting into you so hard that you get sent a little higher up the sheets, the bedding getting more wrinkled and... soaked with certain body fluids. 

He’s going to give you make-up kisses to the hip area though because of a guilty conscience... and also to admire how you are still quivering from the aftermath.

Ultimately has a good balance between slow and sensual sex to rough and rapid romping in bed.

Q - Quickies (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc)

Poor soldier. 

Poor COMRADE OF YOURS.

This is his ultimate battle.

To take you right here, right now and bang like there is no tomorrow when technically they only have 10 minutes in some random closet...

Or to patiently and painfully wait for the sake of public decency (and sanitation) where you can be together without being seen? 

Taking you here in the middle of a hallway during a Gala sounds great but so does waiting until you’re behind closed doors so you can be free with those beautiful lips of yours.

Ultimately, the risk factor is what turns him to quickies if he’s particularly flirty but for more serious times, he’s definitely going to whisk you away somewhere for only the two of you.

R - Risks (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc)

... You know... we are talking about Koga Kitamikado, right?

It’s just a matter of what KIND of risk you guys want to take. A public one, a sex-toy related adventure...

The list can go on PROVIDED neither of you gets hurt.

S - ‘Stamina’ (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

The Carnage does take a toll on this aspect but Koga is an entrepreneur for a reason.

Let his fingers & tongue please you during the moments he has to recharge in between 3 rounds. 

T - ‘Toy’ (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

… Good god, he knows the owner.

But that’s the thing. 

Just because he knows it, unless you’ve expressed interest, he’s going to take things into his own very, very, very capable hands.

U - ‘Unfair’ (How much they like to tease)

Oh, he does tease you if you are acting particularly shy despite being completely nude and fully invested in intercourse.

He’s not going to be as bad a certain fox but he does love seeing you flustered if he hits a certain ticklish spot.

V- Volume (Do they moan/grunt?)

He really hates to admit it but you’ve been the only one to get ANYTHING out from him.

It’s even worse because even Koga can’t deny how animalistic he sounds.  

Growls, grunts, & groans, everything rumbles from him through you in the closest moment.

W - ‘Wildcard’ (Random Headcanon)

Medicine is not the only thing Koga is getting from Yura once you come in. 

No, but seriously, ever since you have given him those tea leaves, he has been hooked on aromatherapy and would like to incorporate that in your sex lives. 

It helps that there are some nice essential oils and massage lotions that help both of you get slick and ready.

Yura can’t judge him because... huehue...

X - ‘X-ray’ (How is the package?)

… I am too embarrassed. Let’s just say he has hit the double-digit integer in inches. 

But if you look at how I ranked him amongst the Dawn and Twilight factions, you know it’s gooD.

Yes, that ‘d’ letter was capitalized. A Capital D for the Man who loves the Capital.

Y - ‘Yearning’ (How high is his sex drive?’)

Before meeting you? His yearning was high… particularly, the yearning to die.

Same, my boy, same.

So honestly, it’s been sort of turned off although he could feel the biological urge and go get someone to relieve him of the ‘baggage’.

Upon meeting you, suddenly he has to adjust his sword hilt and... his other sword.

Z - ‘Zzzz…’ (How fast do they fall asleep?)

Honestly, he’s going to have trouble sleeping the first few times. 

Man is busy and working off that sexual energy just converts his strength to do something else.

Hence, the introduction of sake to share a lovely drink, a lovely moment and a lovely MOMENT TO FINALLY REST... with you!

[lovelymrvl]

Green and Blue

ben hardy x reader  |  soulmate au

okay i had this idea stuck in my head for so long and i really needed to write it down lmao, it might be bad idk. Oh well, enjoy this soulmate au with ben.

[requests here]     [Masterlist]

-

Black, white, grey and blue.

That’s how you saw the world. Just those 4 colours. It made everything look boring, as if there was no excitement in the world. The only thing you loved to see was the sky. It was bright and vibrant. You loved to watch how the clouds travel through the air, or how grey planes or birds stood out in the blue mass above you.

Blue was the only real colour you could see. Until the day you would meet your soulmate. It was simple, you would only see one colour, for most people their favourite one. When you’d meet your soulmate, you would be able to see their favourite colour as well. The more you’d get connected, the more colours you would be able to see. Your mother had told you the story of how she’d met your father so many times. She described how the world came to life as she was together with your father. You would always ask her what things would look like. You knew that grass was supposed to be green or that sunflowers were yellow, but you had no idea what to expect. You mother always told you that you would find your soulmate eventually, until then, you would just have to do it with colours you were able to see.

Now, years later, it still were those 4 colours. You were used to it, had grown to accept them and you were grateful you could at least enjoy the blue things in the world. There were some people in your group of friends who were starting to see more and more, like your best friend. But that moment still hadn’t come for you. Sometimes you wondered if your soulmate was even out there. But your mother had told you that everyone had one.

‘Hey, y/n!’ your best friend Emma called out your name.

You blinked a few times as you looked at her, ‘What?’

‘You totally zoned out there’ she chuckled. ‘I asked if u wanna go get something to eat?’

You were currently out shopping with one of your best friends. A whole day of walking and carrying bags through the city had made you pretty tired, not to mention hungry.

‘Yeah,’ you smiled as you felt your stomach slightly rumble. ‘I know this cute Italian place a few blocks from here,’ you offered.

‘Sounds good!’ Emma said, ‘Lead the way!’

While the two of you made your way to the restaurant, you talked about random stuff. Not much time later you were having an intense discussion about some random movie you watched last week. You didn’t really pay attention to the road ahead of you.

‘I still can’t believe you think that guy was ho-‘

Before you could finish your sentence you abruptly bumped into someone. You jumped and dropped some of the bags you were holding.

‘Oh my god, I’m sorry!’ you said as you reached for your bags. The person in front of you picked one up as well and handed the bag to you. ‘It’s okay, I wasn’t looking where I was going.’

You looked up and were greeted by a young man. You smiled and felt a blush creep onto your cheeks. ‘Thanks,’ you muttered as you took your bag from him, his hand brushing against yours for a second. He gave you the most beautiful smile you’d ever seen and for a second you drowned in his eyes.

Before you could process what you saw, the man nodded to Emma and continued his way.

‘Y/n, you’re blushing,’ your best friend grinned as she bumped into you with her shoulder.

‘His eyes, what colour were his eyes?’ you slowly asked as you looked at her.

‘What?’

‘Did you see the colour of his eyes? What was it?’

‘They were green. Why? Y/n, what’s going on?’

You quickly looked around you.

‘What the hell are you doing?’

‘Show me something that’s green,’ you said.

‘Uh,’ Emma opened one of her bags and showed you a small notebook. Your eyes widened. Your breath was stuck in your throat.

‘Y/n, are you all right?’ Emma asked.

‘I can see it,’ you whispered.

‘Wait, you-‘

‘I can see green,’ you said a bit louder now.

‘Oh my god,’ Emma’s mouth fell open.

You didn’t know what to say. The moment you had looked in the strangers' eyes, you’d noticed something about them. They weren’t grey and you were certain that they weren’t blue either. It was something else. And apparently, that something was green.

‘Are you suggesting that guy is your soulmate,’ your friend asked you.

You nodded and felt your cheeks heat up even more. Emma looked at you for a second, then grabbed your arm and dragged you into the direction where the man walked to.

‘What are you doing?’ you asked.

‘We’re gonna find him, obviously!’

For the next 15 minutes you walked around the area, but the mystery man was nowhere to be found.

‘Let’s just go,’ you said. ‘He’s gone.’

Emma sighed, but agreed. There was no way you were gonna find the guy like this. You were not sure how to feel. You were feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, knowing that your soulmate was indeed out there, and maybe even closer than you thought. But were you ever gonna see him again, and that made you very uncertain.

‘Hey,’ Emma said, ‘If he really is your soulmate, you will find him.’

You smiled and nodded, ‘I really hope so.’

A week went by and you were really enjoying the new colour. You hadn’t told anybody, not even your mom. Even though you knew in your gut that he was your soulmate, you still weren’t a hundred percent sure.

You were laying on your bed, watching your favourite tv show, when your phone rang. It was Emma.

‘Hey, what’s up?’ you picked up.

‘Not much,’ Emma replied. ‘I’m gonna hang out at Joe’s later, wanna join? He invited more people over.’

‘Yeah, sure,’ you said.

‘Cool, I’ll pick you up at five? He said he was gonna order pizza for everyone.’

‘Well, I’m not saying no to pizza,’ you smiled.

‘I’ll see you later then!’ Emma said.

‘Bye!’  you hung up your phone and went downstairs to inform you mom you weren’t gonna eat dinner at home.

A few minutes before it was five o’clock, Emma picked you up and you drove to Joe’s.

‘You found your man yet?’ Emma asked as she was driving.

‘I wish!’ you laughed. ‘And if I found him, you would be the first to hear it.’

‘I think we’re gonna find him soon, I can feel it,’ she said, making you laugh.

About ten minutes later you arrived at Joe’s house. You rang the doorbell and a few seconds later, Joe opened the door. ‘Emma, Y/N!’ he said happily. ‘It’s good to see you, come in!’

In the living room sat a few of your other friends. You greeted them and took a seat on the couch. Emma let herself fall down next to you. You started chatting with your friends while Joe handed out some drinks.

‘Ben’s here in 5 minutes with the pizzas,’ he announced as he looked at his phone.

‘Who’s Ben?’ you asked Emma.

‘Probably a friend of Joe’s?’ she said.

You shrugged and took a sip of your drink.

Some time later, the doorbell rang.

‘Oh, finally!’ Emma sighed dramatically, ‘I’m starving.’

You laughed at your best friend. You were quite hungry too though. You looked at your phone for a second when Emma nudged your side with her elbow. You looked up in confusion and saw a weird expression on her face. She was looking at something behind you. You furrowed your brows as she nodded in the direction she was looking at. You turned around and your heart stopped. From behind a pile of pizza boxes, a familiar pair of green eyes met yours. You couldn’t quite believe it. It was the mystery guy, and probably your soulmate. The guy looked at your for a second and showed a beautiful smile. You were pretty sure your face now had the colour of a tomato. The guy walked over to you and handed you one of the last pizza boxes. You reached for the box with slightly shaky hands.

‘I don’t believe we’ve met properly,’ he said as he put the remaining boxes down on the table. ‘I’m Ben,’ he held out his hand.

‘Hi,’ it sounded like a whisper. ‘I’m Y/n.’ You took his hand and it felt like there were literal sparks flying from your hands.

Emma looked from Ben to you and back to Ben. ‘Oh! I think I heard Joe call for help in the kitchen. Why don’t you take a seat Ben?’ she rambled as she stood up and made a small sprint to the kitchen.

‘I’m coming Joe!’ she shouted as she burst into the kitchen. Joe, who just walked into the room looked at her with a confused face. You mentally cursed Emma, you knew all too well what she was doing.

Ben sat down next you and everyone started to eat their pizza, watching the tv (with some random sports channel on) or talking to each other. You took a deep breath and turned to the guy next to you.

‘How come I’ve never seen you here before?’

It was a genuine question, because you really were curious. But it was also a way to look at his beautiful face.

Ben chuckled, making your heart flutter. ‘I know him from work, but we almost never have the time to hang out.’

Not long after, the two of you were having a full conversation. About hobbies, interests, random stuff, etcetera, etcetera. You noticed how the grey mass around you started to fade, bright colours were appearing, but you didn’t dare to say anything. Was he seeing the same thing? What if he wasn’t?

The night went on and you and Ben were inseparable the whole evening. It felt like you had known him your whole life. You felt almost sad when it was time to go home.

‘You live far from here?’ Ben asked as you put on your coat.

‘A ten minute drive, I tagged along with Emma,’ you said.

Emma suddenly appeared behind Ben, with a big smirk on her face. ‘Joe asked me to help clean up the mess, is it okay if we stay a bit longer?’

Before you could respond, Ben answered, ‘I’ll take her home.’ He then turned to you, ‘If that’s okay?’

You felt like your heart was gonna beat out of your chest. ‘Uh, yeah, okay,’ you smiled.

‘I’ll see you later then!’ Emma said and she mouthed a ‘you’re welcome’ as Ben grabbed his coat.

You drove home with Ben in a comfortable silence, apart from you giving him directions on where to go. When you arrived home, Ben spoke up as you were walking towards your door.

‘You know, until a few days ago, the only colour I could see was green.’

You stopped walking and froze.

‘I never knew the sky could be that pretty,’ Ben said as you heard him walk closer.

‘Funny thing is,’ Ben continued, ‘I never saw anything blue, until I bumped into you.’

You slowly turned around and noticed how close he was actually standing to you. The whole evening your first encounter wasn’t mentioned even once. You thought he forgot about it or he didn’t recognise you, but boy, you were wrong.

You wanted to say something, but your mouth just didn’t cooperate.

‘Y/n?’ Ben took another step towards you.

‘Yeah?’ you whispered.

His eyes bore into yours, your faces were now only centimetres apart.

‘Please tell me you’re not the only one seeing all these colours.’

You felt like you could combust from happiness. Your smile grew wide, ‘I see them too.’

Ben smiled and a split second later his lips were on yours. You felt his arms around your waist, pulling your closer. Your hands went up to his hair, smiling into the kiss. He licked your bottom lip and you gladly parted your lips to deepen the kiss. Everything fell into its place, it felt so right. It was as if someone was setting off fireworks. You slowly pulled away for air, but stayed close to him. Your noses were still touching and you giggled as he looked into your eyes.

So that’s what it feels like to have a soulmate.

‘What are you doing tomorrow?’ Ben asked as he put a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

‘Not much,’ you replied as you leaned into his touch.

‘Can I take you out?’ He looked at you with puppy eyes.

You stood on your tippy-toes to press another small kiss to his lips.

‘I’d like that very much.’

[carolhnd2bphoto]

Graded Unit Evaluation

EVALUATION

 For my project I planned to shoot outdoors. Studio photography has never really appealed to me.  I had many ideas such as landscape, street photography and architectural photography.  The advice provided was shoot something you enjoy but at the same time go out of your comfort zone.  When I am out on my own, nature is where I go, trees, rivers, waterfalls.  They all make my photography experience enjoyable and comforting.  Leading lines are a source of comfort, they are pleasing to the eye and make sense to me. As a result of this I decided to shoot perspective/symmetrical photography.

After doing the research I knew this was the one, this felt right and felt excited by the challenge.  The style of symmetrical photography, vertical, horizontal, and radial encompass all I enjoy. Planning for this shoot was a big piece of work, for instance, a market for the work I created would be for galleries or private collections as I was considering my work to be Fine Art Photography, however, it was suggested that I consider photography stock libraries such as Alamy.  When I explored this further I found out that it is a website, you type in what can of image (waterfall) you want to see and it brings up all these images.  Basically, you can buy and sell images.  I have seen these websites before but never paid much attention up until now.

Initially when it came to planning the timetable, I was doing it as though there was a normal college timetable and that I would be working weekends. Therefore, I would only be out shooting 2 or 3 days a week and there was only 3 weeks to shoot after handing in the Project Plan.  This changed as a result of the Coronavirus Lockdown, at the time I was unsure if I could go out and shoot, fortunately I could, I had more days to go out and shoot. Fortunately I required very little in the way of equipment, I only required a camera and a tripod, no special lighting equipment, just natural light.

As mentioned above the research into other photographers such as Aaron Sisland, Ola Kolehmainen and Angie McMonical made me feel more confident in that the style of photography I was wishing to achieve was right for me. With Sisland’s leading lines and vertical symmetry in his work as too with Kolehmainen and the use of McMonical’s perspective when taking her images which gave them an abstract feel.  I liked this concept of abstract photography with the help of perspective and symmetry.

My first couple of days going out shooting, I wasn’t expecting anything good, I was just making a start, experimenting.  I was fortunate to get a nice shot of Bells Bridge,

I waited quite a while to get this shot and was hoping to get a shot with no one on it.  This wasn’t possible even with the lockdown restrictions.  This image works for me as a result of the vertical symmetry of the bridge, also the light hitting of the Armadillo and the blue sky.

As I had the car I could travel to various locations in and around Glasgow and as I was on my own the Police didn’t bother with me. I ventured to various places such as The Quay, West End of Glasgow, City Centre, Dams to Darnley and Port Glasgow. Many of my shots were taken in Glasgow City Centre. As I was in the City Centre much of the time and there were very few people and transport around, I made the decision (with advice from my lecturer) to change my project ever so slightly. I was still going to take perspective/symmetrical (they were more vertical symmetry) shots but to capture the empty streets of Glasgow along with the surreal feeling of a bustling city in lockdown.  This was achievable as previously mentioned I could wander about without the police stopping me.  Having said that I did find this an anxious experience, I knew I wasn’t doing anything against the law but when there is a police presence I felt sure that I would be stopped.  Thankfully I wasn’t as I captured images that produced a feeling of sadness.  My project has went from Fine Art to Documentary Photography, a genre that hasn’t necessarily interested me.  Having said that I did enjoy this, it was exciting (not because of the Police) I was documenting how the Covid crisis has had an effect of Glasgow City Centre and every city across the world.  There were one or two people in a couple of my final shots but for me that adds to the desertedness of the city.

This shot of the entrance at Buchanan Subway is one I like because of the symmetry of the escalators and lights. The eyes follow the lights. This image begins to tell the quietness of a city.

I took this image initially for the shot of the ambulance then when I looked back at my contact sheets I noticed the young man walking across the street.  No other traffic but an ambulance, no other people apart from the young man.

I like the perspective of this image, again an empty street (Hutchison Street).  There is darkness in the foreground with the trees and shadows but if you keep looking there is light, optimism.

This image of the entrance to the footbridge, I like simply because of the bright colours and again it documents the impact of the virus on people’s daily lives, gates that a normally open to the public are now closed. after looking at this image again, i think if i had stepped to the left slightly, the image would have a more vertical symmetry appeal.

Kelvin Way is normally a busy road for traffic, cyclists and pedestrians.  On that day, as with other days, there was a police presence in Kelvingrove Park. This particular road was closed off at either end.  I specifically took this shot for the perspective of the road and the police van.

North Hanover Street, deserted, normally busy with cars and buses. There is an air of doom and gloom in this shot with the help of the dark clouds.

St Enoch Subway, only sign of life there were 3 pigeons.  Aside from the pigeons this works from a vertical symmetry point of view and of course the fact that the place is deserted at 6.30pm.

Portman Street Suspension Bridge, I love the perspective/symmetry of this shot. Plus I managed to take this shot with no one on the bridge.

To get this shot I had to stand in the middle of the road, this is looking up towards Cathedral Street.  I like the fact that I have captured the ‘no entry’ painted on the road. Some’s up the situation at present.

I took this image on Buchanan Street, again to illustrate the emptiness of the city.  There is only one person standing at St Enoch centre in that entire vicinity.

Glasgow Green, there were cyclists, joggers and dog walkers going about their way but I managed to take this shot with no one in it. I like this image as there is a focal point, the Glasgow Commonwealth Statue), the eyes are drawn to it with the help of the trees at either side.

Of course, I complied a workbook detailing everything I had shot on each day, any changes to original idea, further research, contact sheets, my thoughts on each.  Similar to a journal.  This was a big piece of work in itself, I actually found this more daunting than the photoshoots as I do not consider my self to be artistic/creative.  As daunting as it was, the workbook was a therapeutic process and reflecting on the day’s work enabled me to explore other ideas.  When completing the workbook and looking at the contact sheets I could see my mistakes which made me critical of my work, this wasn’t a bad thing as it gave me the push to do better the next day.  This could be considered a positive.  Another positive aspect in the project was the Plan.  More so the feedback I received.  This gave me the confidence and the boost to start.  My biggest downfall my research or rather lack of research.  However, for the purposes of my Plan, research was a requirement and in doing so gave me the drive and excitement for my Graded Unit. Areas than have been successful?  The fact that I have found a new genre of photography that I like, this too is a positive.  I do like street photography, but this was different, hardly a soul to be seen, hardly traffic to be heard.  This made me look at Glasgow in a different way

 With everything there are always opportunities for improvement and photography is no exception.  The main area I feel I need to improve on is retouching (Photoshop) I can do the basics, adjusting black, whites, shadows etc in Lightroom.  A tool I did come across was a tool called Transform which fixes any perspective distortion.  That came in handy when the image didn’t quite look level. I try to avoid Photoshop as much as possible as layer masks and the like confuse me.  Therefore, I use either Lightroom or Bridge.  Another area of improvement is composition, I always thought I had that covered.  I started using 3x3 (in camera) rule of thirds to see if that would help.  It did but I don’t want to use that tool.  The issue with composition was brought to my attention my lecturer, I would maybe have to much sky or road in my shots. Fortunately, I can easily work on that. For me, the big issue is retouching.

 CONCLUSION

 I feel that I cannot properly write this evaluation without bringing in the impact of the Covid – 19 virus.  This didn’t have an impact on me in that I had to re-think my Graded Unit. I could still go outside; I wasn’t relying on college equipment such as studio lights, cameras, tripods.  I knew from the very beginning my photography would be completed outside.  The impact on me was my mental health, more so motivation to do the work.  Everything was up in the air. But I did it, got out the house with my camera and got on with it.

I was lucky, the only change I made was what I was going to shoot and where.  It was going to be city based not based amongst nature.  The main emphasis would be the surreal loneliness of a once busy city. As I have a car, I had no issues with getting to locations.  As mentioned above, there was a police presence in the city centre and as such felt rushed into taking the shots, this may have contributed to some poor quality images that I took and the fact that the tripod I used was not very sturdy for the camera (Nikon D7100 and Canon 700d).  To combat this I started using my monopod and mirrorless cameras (Canon m100 and Sony a6000). I also purchased a sturdier tripod which is yet to be used.

Some of the time I felt I was taking photographs just for the sake of taking an image, just to have something to show and in doing that would maybe only have one or two images I was happy with. Some days I would have nothing but rubbish shots but determination/learning/growth come from failures.  The rubbish days gave me the push to do more and not give up.  The big lesson there was and is not to give up and believe I can do this.  That is another area that is in need of improvement, my self-belief in my photography. When I’m not under pressure I can produce good shots but when I am feeling the pressure my nerve goes, I don’t feel confident.  Now that that I have completed my Graded Unit I feel a sense of achievement as this was a big and important project.  This was achieved in strange and difficult times.  I can learn much from this experience for when I go into year 2 of my HND. Buy a bigger workbook, do more research, learn more about Photoshop and most of all believe in my ability as a photographer.