#i really wanted to do yakuza oikawa but i haven’t been feeling like writing for hq atm

[shokami]

how mad would y’all be if when i finish santa baby, i turned around and did another gojo series 🤨

[worthlesspride]

About Me As A Writer

Tagged by @foxyena. This is ridiculously long, so I’m tucking it away under the cut.

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

It’s pretty much obvious for anyone in the fandom. The Ushijima/Oikawa scene after the Seijoh match gives me feelings. Oikawa’s devotion to his team in general gives me feelings. My ao3 username (Deathbelle) is the name of a flower from Skyrim. At the time I thought it sounded edgy.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

Seijoh, Inc. has the most kudos and bookmarks. What You Came For has the most subscriptions, and Protect and Serve (an old SNK fic) ha the most hits.

 3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

It’s the cutest Iwaizumi, the same icon I use here. I chose it because I love him.

 4. Do you have any regular/favorite commentors?

I most certainly do. I made a post about it recently, but there are several fantastic individuals that leave comments on a lot of my stuff and I absolutely adore each of them.

 5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

I have read the Four’s a Party series by plumtrees more often that I’d care to admit. I also recently reread The Best I Ever Had by FindingSchmomo and it was still as lovely and painful as the first time. Also, I’ve read Red Feather by @chosenofkagami at least four times because it is one of my favorite things. 

 6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

I have 108 bookmarks and 37 subscriptions.

 7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

Police AU. Every single time I write one I say I’m done, and then I inevitably start on another one. I have a semishira one that will be posted soon. Even though I swore I wasn’t going to write it.

 8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

2196 bookmarks total. Uhh, I don’t know if it wants user subscriptions or total subscriptions? But those are 199 and 1117, respectively.

 9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeing brave? If so, share it!)

Not particularly? I usually write what I want. Posting that tensemi yakuza thing with the blood kink made me a little anxious but it seemed to be okay. No one threw anything at me.

 10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

I’d like to be better at everything, please and thank you. In particular, expanding my imagery and metaphors. I feel like I recycle the same ones too often. Also I need to relearn how to write non-m|m relationships. 

 11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

Most of my ships are popular ones. Some of them are semi-rarepairs, maybe? Does Tensemi count as a rarepair?

 12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

I’m up to 28.

 13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

I don’t want to go count because I’m actively trying not to think about some of them, but probably about ten.

 14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

I mostly keep them in my head until I have a fairly good idea of what I’m going to write. Then I might make notes here and there so I don’t forget anything important. I mostly just wing it as I go along.

 15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

Nope. Honestly I don’t know how that would even work, like… don’t the writing styles interfere with each other? Do the writers take turns writing sentences or paragraphs or something? I don’t really understand the concept.

 16. How did you discover AO3?

I don’t remember, but I’m sure it was a dark and gloomy night that doomed me for the rest of my life.

 17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

I’m definitely not famous. I don’t think I’m all that popular either? My fics get more attention than I ever thought they would, which I’m grateful for, but I don’t think that makes me popular.

 18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

Umm… no?

 19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

I only recently started talking to anyone in the fandom, so I don’t think anyone ever had to encourage me to write. It was just something I’ve always done.

 20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Keep writing. Even if you hate it and you think your stuff sucks, keep pushing through it. The more you write, the less you’re going to feel that way about it, and the better you’ll get. I went a solid year without writing anything at all because I hit a rough patch and hated everything I produced. If I hadn’t missed that year, I could’ve been so much better right now. Don’t give up on yourself.

 21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

I usually have a vague idea of where I’m going, and a few scenes mapped out really clearly in my head, but for the most part I just wing it and hope everything ends up fitting together.

 22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

I had a few not-so-nice comments on some of my old SNK stuff (which I was upset about at the time, but looking back, I completely understand why those people said what they did, and I don’t disagree with them). I’ve never gotten a bad one from the Haikyuu fandom. It’s a good community.

 23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc…)

I used to have the worst time writing smut, and though I feel I’ve improved, I still have a hard time with it on occasion. Especially when I have a clear mental image of how I want it to be and it just refuses to flow.

 24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Uhh. The iwaoi part of the Mall AU, a Bokuroo camboy AU that is 90% smut and taking forever, a Motorcyle Gang AU for Avery because he wants me to be miserable, and my Secret Santa fic that I’m not at liberty to discuss but will hopefully turn out okay.

 25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

I don’t really plan out anything. Sometimes ideas just happen and I run with them.

 26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

Ha. No. I don’t get to write on days that I work. It basically comes down to cramming as much writing time into my weekends as I can manage.

 27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Exponentially. My early stuff is painful to read. I was so young, so unskilled, so embarrassing.

 28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

This is the worst question. I’m going to have to settle for a three-way tie with You Make It Sound So Easy To Be Alive, What You Came For, and The Loyalty of a Traitor.

 29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

In regards to fandom, my old SNK stuff. And that YOI oneshot, I can’t even bring myself to read it. 

 30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

Hopefully with at least one original work published, if I can get my shit together and spend a little more time on my own stuff instead of stoking my undying devotion to Haikyuu.

 31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

...there’s supposed to be something easy about it?

 32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Pouring your literal soul into something without the guarantee that it will ever be liked or appreciated by anyone other than yourself. Also the sense of vulnerability, because even if it’s unintentional, someone’s writing always says a great deal about them as a person. 

 33. Why do you write?

I almost gave a half-assed answer for this, but honestly, writing is the one thing that makes me feel somewhat accomplished. It’s been my coping mechanism through some of the harder times in my life, and it genuinely makes me happy.

I’m not sure who to tag, because it took me so long to do this that most of my writer friends have probably done it already. If you haven’t, please do so! I’d love to read your answers.