#i really want an fic where arthur and gwen are married or pretend to be together for appearances and really it's arthur and merlin and

[merlinfic]

group ask for lost fics #32

Hi y’all! Below are a few lost fics that us mods just can’t seem to find. That being said, we’re hoping that you lovely followers are able to help! If anyone knows any of the fics below please reply below or send in an ask with which anon/user and group ask that the fic corresponds with!

Note: previous group asks and all lost fics!

Anon 1 asked:

Hello! First of all thanks so much for everything you do for the fandom! Also, I’ve been trying to find a fic for a while where Merlin and Arthur are both super into each other and Arthur keeps trying to seduce Merlin but Merlin thinks he has to remain pure until the dragon tells him that’s not the case w Arthur and I was wondering if you could help! Thanks so much 💖🥰

Thanks to statistical-nightmare for suggesting Touch Me (Not) by veronamay!

@ohmytimeturner14 asked:

Hey! I'm kinda getting back into the merlin fandom and I was looking for a fic I once read and can't find it. It's a sick fic where merlin gets sick with pneumonia I believe. Can't remember how long it is, at least 3k and most likely under 20k? I think part of it had Morgana offer to read to Merlin when he was sick? I think it was Merthur but I couldn't swear to it. Love your blog, Keep up the good work!!!

Hey! I love your blog. You always do such an awesome job.

I lost a fic, its at least 5K probably leaning twords 20 though. It involves Merlin getting sick, I think pneumonia. I remember that at one point Morgana reads him a book when he's sick, and Arthur almost leaves to get Hunith because he thought Merlin wouldn't make it. May have something to do with a formalwear tunic that made him cold and got sick, but that might be a different one. I also think he was going to go to a party of Gwen's before he got sick?? sorry if this is kinda vague

Thanks to fractalinferno for sending in Midwinter Festival by Miss_Em!

Anon 2 asked:

hello!! yay the ask box is open again!! 🥺 I’ve been going through the asks for a quartermaster/007 thing but I can’t find this particular fic where Merlin was Q, and closer to the end of the fic he gets kidnapped on a train (to be specific.) It’s slash, but not pre-established, happens during the fic. Arthur bursts into Merlin’s apartment and manages to have flashback about the laptop’s password or smth too! Thanks in advance!

Thanks to wiggly-jiggly-higgledy-piggledy and overworked-bookworm for suggesting You Only Live Twice by storyforsomeone (WIP)!

Anon 3 asked:

Hello! I was wondering if you'd be able to help me find a fic. The only thing I remember from it is that both Arthur and Merlin are in the crystal caves and Merlin sees Arthur's death through one of them and completely freaks out and comfort ensues with Arthur. Sorry it's so vague but I'd love to see if you can find it! Thanks again!

@eyra-j-nee asked:

Hi!! I’m looking for a fic that was on ao3, (TW: non con) in it Merlin was assaulted in the stables and he called I think both killgarah and aithusa come and won’t let anyone pass into the stables except gaius and eventually Lancelot. Arthur figures out it’s Merlin and I can’t remember what happens after that. I’ve looked through your hurt and abused Merlin tags and I didn’t see it. I can say it’s not “all of himself” by StormDancer but they are very similar! Any and all help would be appreciated. As always THANK YOU for what you do, this blog and your hard work is a godsend!!

Thanks to fangirl485 for sending in The Fire of a Dragon by ma_r (check warnings!)

Anon 4 asked:

hi I am looking for a fic, it's post canon au and magic is legal, arthur & gwen aren't married though and all the people of Camelot are used to see Arthur and Merlin together or near each other and one time they don't, so they ask merlin who tells them that the king is on holiday today so they come to merlin with their problems and even after the holiday is over they still come to him and start calling him lord and Arthur is very amused and they get together at the end of the fic

honestly I'm a little annoyed that I remember this much but not the name of fic but I can't find it in my bookmarks, so thanks

Thanks to onceandfuturekid for suggesting King of My Heart by illiterateowl!

Anon 5 asked:

hello! i was wondering if you know about this one fic where merlin receives a purple tunic as a reluctant gift from arthur and he worries about it because it's the colour of royalty. i think it was gen? i can't really seem to find it and this is very vague, so im sorry. thank you for all you do!! <3

Anon 6 asked:

Hi I’ve been looking everywhere for one particular fic. It’s pretty dark and modern au. Merlin is immortal, has lost his memories, not thinking clearly, and is suicidal. Arthur is reincarnated and has the urge to kill. They somehow? come to an arrangement, and Arthur “consensually” kills Merlin, and then is filled with regret. But it kind of “resets” Merlin so when he comes back his memories are restored and he’s ok again? Any ideas??

onceandfuturekid asked:

hi I'm looking for a fic where there's a new servant master (?) who is harming servants so arthur disguises himself and pretends to be servant and merlin & gwen take him under his wing,,, also the servant master (?) was a druid I think or atleast banished from them and was looking for power of emrys

Thanks to atlantablack-chaotic and avery28 for sending in The Serving of Servants by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle!

Anon 7 asked:

Hi! I've been looking for this but can't seem to find it and I would greatly appreciate it if you guys could help me. It's a genderbend!Merlin. The story basically follows canon with Merlin becoming Arthur's manservant just that on top of magic she has to hide the fact that she's a woman and when things go "further" Arthur thinks he's forcing himself on Merlin, since he can't "feel his desire". Thank you do much for your help! ❤

Anon 8 asked:

Hi, I've been trying to refind this fic for a while but I'm having trouble finding it. I can't remember much of it which makes it difficult, but I just remember that Merlin gives Arthur a gift, which I think is a ring, and he finds out Merlin had magic and questions whether Merlin enchanted it against him. It's in the canon era where Merlin is his servant.

Thanks to fractalinferno for sending in A Little Roughing Around Never Hurt Anyone by melennui!

@emritz86 asked:

Hi, it's been a while I asked smthng. Caught up with work and stuff. I read a fic where Merlin was a doc and married to Arthur but Arthur didn't like Merlin at first and didn't even let him enter to their bedroom. Later he realised how awesome Merlin was and tried to reconcile but Merlin already thought about filing divorce. Do not remember the name but I'm certain I read it and saved it somewhere. Anything similar would be great too. Thanks.

Anon 9 asked:

Hey! I was wondering if you could find a fic for me where everyone thinks Arthur is dead and then Merlin goes to look for him but the knights are like he’s dead and Merlin says something like “half my soul resides in him. I would feel his death like a wound” ps this blog is literally my life

Anon 10 asked:

I'm looking for 2 kind of similar stories. The first is a canon au where Merlin is actually a dog that Arthur finds in the woods. I remember toward the end they both get injured and Arthur is frantic when he wakes up. Asking Gaius where his dog is.

The second is modern au where Merlin is blind and Arthur is reincarnated as his seeing eye dog. I don't remember much more than that, sorry. Thank you for all the work you out into the fandom. MUCH MUCH appreciated!

Thanks to fractalinferno for suggesting Familiar To You, Strange To Me by TheYaoiChick for the first part!

@gaylord1027 asked:

Hi,

Do you know of a fic where Merlin was raised by Balinor in the cave after Hunith died and Merlin has some for of mental affliction. It starts with Arthur coming to them for help and then he wants to protect Merlin. Nimueh is in it and she befriended Merlin and died when Balinor lived to keep the balance.

Anon 11 asked:

I was wondering if you knew of the fic where Gwaine and Arthur are fighting to see who's merlin's best friend but in the end they realise it's Lancelot

Thanks to fractalinferno for suggesting Merlin's Favourite by OwlsWithFins!

[i-really-should-change-my-url]

Okay so: Morgana, Gwaine, and Merlin for the 3 characters thing 😂

Ok this was hard, and maybe it’s just that I LOOOOVE a good fake dating trope, but any of these options would be brilliant. If you remind me sometime, I’ll make a post with my ideas for each.

Slow burn with Morgana. Of course I would start out as being betrothed to Arthur by our fathers since childhood, my father being a very rich lord in the kingdom. That would mean many seasons spent in the Camelot castle, growing up with the Pendragons. My friendly feelings for Morgana would turn to romantic feelings, unknown to either of us, but obvious to Arthur. When it comes time to officially announce the engagement, that’s when Morgana realizes she loves me. At the pre wedding tournament and feasts, she would steal me away to take a walk through the grounds, where she would gently push me against the castle wall corner and kiss me (”I just had to do that once”) before running off in tears. I would stand there stunned, finally realizing what, or who, I really wanted, before rushing to get back to the festivities. Little do I know, Arthur was up on the ramparts, and saw the kiss. He meets me at the door, and takes me to his room, where we talk. In the end, he tells me he will still marry me, and do his duty to me and Camelot, and love me as a friend, but that I am free to see Morgana, as long as we keep it secret. 

Fake dating with Merlin. If nothing else, just to prank Arthur. We’d get really into it, befuddling everyone, ESPECIALLY Arthur. After a while, Arthur would overhear us talking about it, which would make him play along. Do you remember that episode of Friends where they pit Phoebe against Chandler to make Chandler admit he was hooking up with Monica? It’d be like that, Arthur pretending to get really invested in our relationship. (”Merlin, aren’t you going to kiss Change before we leave?”) (”Change, you have my permission to marry him.”) Which of course would give us the idea for Merlin to propose to me in the most ridiculous, yet romantic, way in front of Arthur. And Arthur is like AIGHT DANG they better players than I thought. And then at our wedding, Arthur is just watching us the whole time, waiting for one of us to end it. That’s when Arthur decides that the feelings are real now. Fast forward a couple of years into our marriage, and Merlin is revealing his magic to Arthur. Arthur becomes really quiet and the air is thick with tension. Suddenly Merlin pipes up with an “Oh yeah and Gwen told us when you found out my relationship with Change was fake. We’ve been playing a joke on you.” Arthur gets that funny shocked expression on his face. “YOU HAVE TWO CHILDREN!” Merlin shrugs at him. “Go big or go home.” (or whatever the Arthurian saying is for this) Arthur is shaken when the best example of a healthy marriage he has seen really has been an elaborate prank after all.

Enemies to lovers with Gwaine. I don’t know why we’d be enemies, maybe I would find his personality too reckless and too “much”, and he would then think me too judgemental and “noble” (in this fake fic I’m a lady visiting Camelot for the summer). We would then have a “oh you’re still up too” moment one night, become secret friends, or at least we thought we were being secret. After a couple non-subtle hints from our mutual friends, we would become lovers.

[camelotremix]

Camelot Remix Reveals 2019

The Camelot Remix 2019 Reveals are finally here! Thank you again to all our wonderful participants, we have had some fantasic remixes and we hope to see you all again next year! Your ever-loving mods, Kitty, Fifty and Wasp ❤️ Fic: Emrys_MK wrote How Merlin Put the Extra Back in Arthur’s Ordinary for Fifty-Fifty (Merlin/Arthur – NC-17 – 3.6k) Summary: Arthur often dreams of a familiar yet faceless someone from another time and place long ago past. He knows this person was important to him, but try as he may, this elusive dream-dweller remains a mystery… that is until a chance meeting in the heart of 2019 London brings the past and present together and turns an ordinary day extraordinary. Fic: Clotpolesonly wrote Speccy Is The New Sexy for LFB72 (Merlin/Arthur – Gen – 1.6k) Summary: Merlin gets new glasses. Apparently he looks like a whole new person, because his boyfriend doesn't even recognize him! Or maybe it's just that Arthur is a bit thick sometimes. Fic: Digthewriter wrote I don't know (how to play the game of love) for EachPeachPearPlum (Merlin/Arthur – Mild R – 1.3k) Summary: Arthur has strange dreams. Fic: Arthur_Pendragon wrote Date the Flooze (The Cool Cool Cool Cool Remix) for Rou (Merlin/Arthur – T – 5.5k) Summary: Detective Merlin Emrys, Pan-Albion PD 99th Precinct (Camelot), rues the day he cravenly swept his feelings for his captain, Arthur Pendragon Million-Abbreviations-and-Medals, under the rug. Now he’s struggling to tell Arthur how he really feels, hoping against hope that Arthur hasn’t slipped out of his grasp already. Art: ViridianJane created Belonging for Aeris444 (Merlin/Gwaine – G – Art) Summary: Gwaine pretends to think that it's Camelot he considers home; it's only in the middle of the night that he might admit that home isn't necessarily a place. Fic: Tari_Sue wrote The Very Cunning and Brilliant Plan of Uther Pendragon, CBE (The Invitation Remix) for Aranei (Merlin/Arthur – PG13 – 7k) Summary: Uther Pendragon [CBE] does not approve of his son's choice of girlfriend. He will not stand for this! Fic: Wyvern wrote A Crown of Stars (the King of Nothing Remix) for Destroyerofhearts (Merlin/Arthur – M – 3.7k) Summary: Morgana has taken over Camelot, and Arthur, Merlin and the others barely managed to escape and are now on the run. However, she’s looking for them and Arthur must consider something he’s never had to consider before. Fic: Linorien wrote Escape from Earth for Lyss2011 (Merlin/Arthur – G – 1.6k) Summary: In his second life, Arthur strives to continue what Merlin started. Anything to feel closer to his best friend. Along the way, he finds a deeper understanding of math, life, and the universe. Fic: EachPeachPearPlum wrote Happy Hour (the Open to Misinterpretation Remix) for Polomonkey (Gen – G – 1.9k) Summary: For the most part, Mordred's workplace isn't that bad. The workload isn't too heavy, his boss treats him well, and his colleagues do their best to be understanding when he's having a bad day. Apart from Merlin, that is. Merlin hates him, and Mordred has absolutely no idea why. Art/Fic: LFB72 drew and wrote Our scars will reveal the truth (The Heal Remix) for Arthur_Pendragon (Merlin/Arthur – T – 2.5k) Summary: To kiss a hurt away. Arthur is watching Merlin sleep after the Questing Beast incident. He sees the scar left by Nimueh and bends down to take a closer look, but Merlin wakes up and Arthur has to explain what he was doing. Fic: Lyss2011 wrote Tumbled From My Lips (The Easy Like Sunday Morning Remix) for Slantedknitting (Merlin/Arthur – T – 14.5k) Summary: Arthur had allowed himself to forget that they weren't actually dating, building the lie around them like the oversized jumpers Merlin always wore, soft and comforting, as they cuddled up on the couch. Luckily, before his mouth could suggest something even more romantic-sounding, like kissing, Mordred texted him about their next date. Or, Arthur's (failed) attempt to get over Merlin. Fic: Mrs_Leary (harlequin/julie) wrote The End of All Things for Amphigoury (Merlin/Arthur – G – 1.9k) Summary: Arthur has brought the Ring to Mount Doom, but declares that he cannot destroy it. What can Merlin do to help fulfil the Quest they've shared? Fic: Blacktail_chorus wrote Heat Rises (the Silver Lining remix) for AJSRandom (Merlin/Morgana – G – 1.9k) Summary: Merlin tries to teach Morgana magic. Morgana has her own ideas. Fic: Ingberry wrote Something Good (The Bad Remix) for Little_Dhampir (Merlin/Arthur – M – 4k) Summary: After being stood up for a blind date at his favourite restaurant, Arthur went clubbing only to end up with a terrible one night stand. It was a day that should be removed from the very fabric of the universe. Art: Altocello created Guttered (The Flickering Flames remix) for Emrys_MK (Merlin/Arthur – G – Art) Summary: In which Arthur, worried about Merlin, finds him sitting alone in near darkness. Fic: Malu_3 (Grainne) wrote In Too Deep (The 'Mole' Canon-Era AU Remix) for Elveatas (Ricecake) (Gwen/Morgana – R – 4.7k) Summary: She sees the way he looks at Gwen. Still. And while she cannot fault Sir Lancelot for his excellent taste, she hasn't survived this long by being overly trusting. He's hiding something, she can tell, and while the rest of Camelot seems content to lick his boots, she is determined to expose him. Expose his secrets, that is. Fic: Destroyerofhearts wrote The Selkie's Skin for Blacktail_Chorus (Merlin/Arthur – G – 1.14k) Summary: Arthur was 14 when his father brought home a grand trophy from his campaign out at sea. Fic: Slantedknitting wrote We Are the Muses for Tari_Sue (Merlin/Arthur – M – 6.2k) Summary: Morgana convinces Arthur to do some nude modelling for her art class. Merlin is in the art class. They both get distracted. Fic: Aranei wrote I have sinned for 8verity8 (Merlin/Arthur – NC-17 – 1.5k) Summary: Some of us are born to sin, others are lead to it. Art: Eisbaerfussel created Bath Among The Stars for VerdantMoth (Merlin/Arthur – G – Art) Summary: This image was burned into Merlin's teenage head when he stumbled into the closed swimming hall at night. Fic: Penndragon27 wrote In the Shadows, In the Light (One of Many Faces Remix) for ViridianJane (Merlin/Freya – G – 592) Summary: Freya has watched Merlin for so long... she just wants him to see her too. Fic: Little_Dhampir wrote This Scheduled Sex Thing for Moonflower999 (Merlin/Arthur – NC-17 – 2.5k) Summary: Merlin and Arthur give this scheduled sex thing a chance. Art: Rou created Honeymoon Impressions (A Selfie Remix) for Clea2011 (Merlin/Arthur – T – Art) Summary: Turns out they'd have a few more photos to show to Hunith when they got home. Fic: AJSRandom wrote Gwaine’s Day Out (The A Little Help Here Remix) for Clotpolesonly (Gen – G – 3k) Summary: When Gwaine volunteers to accompany Merlin on an herb-picking trip, he has no idea what’s in store. Art: Amphigoury created Of All The Gin Joints! (Remix It Again, Sam) for Digthewriter (Merlin/Arthur – G – Art) Summary: "Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, he walks into mine!" Arthur's old flame has arrived at Casablanca. Fic: Clea2011 wrote Love Potion Number Nine (The Shy Remix) for Eisbaerfussel (Merlin/Arthur – T – 11.3k) Summary: Merlin had hoped that after Princess Vivien’s visit he wouldn’t see a love potion again for a long, long time. But Princess Vivien, as it turned out, was only the start of the problem. Fic: Aeris444 wrote Merlin's birthday (Merlin's day off Remix) for Penndragon27 (Merlin/Arthur – PG – 10.1k) Summary: It's Merlin's birthday and it looks like it will be another busy day at work. Fic: Moonflower999 wrote Paradise Found (The Heart That Made A Family Remix) for Mrs_Leary (Gaius/Geoffrey – T – 4.4k) Summary: On Boxing Day Geoffrey asked Gaius, his life partner of many years to marry him. Now it's all coming together! Happy Pride! Fic: 8verity8 wrote Same, Same, But Different (Whatever We Are, We Are The Same Remix) for Wyvern (Merlin/Arthur – M – 7.7k) Summary: Merlin has an older (half) brother Arthur, from his Dad's first marriage, but to be honest Merlin has always felt like more of an only child than anything. Arthur seems cool enough from what little he remembers, but hell, Arthur left for London when Merlin was like 6 and he only saw Arthur at important family functions. Then he left for the states and for years Merlin didn't even see him at all... It's not like they have a brotherly connection or anything. Or Merlin's modern coming of age story that ends up taking a wild left turn when Merlin's absent (hot as fuck!) half-brother Arthur returns. Art:  LFB72 created The Holly King and The Oak King (The Alban Arthan and Alban Helfin Remix) for Altocello (Merlin/Arthur – T – Art) Summary: The Holly King and the Oak King are the two halves that make up the circle of the year. Only one can rule thus the contest for supremacy continuously plays out as the seasons turn. Merlin is the Holly King; he reigns during the darkest times, when the light wanes and there’s a chill in the air. The height of his power is during midwinter solstice but as the days stretch, Merlin gradually becomes weaker. At the Spring Equinox he must fight to maintain his Kingdom from Arthur, The Oak King, Merlin’s summer counterpart and adversary. The fight is fierce but as the hours pass, the balance tips in Arthur’s favour and The Oak King finally triumphs. Arthur takes control and the days grow long and warm, he gains strength, reaching his peak by Midsummer solstice. As the nights draw in, Arthur’s hold slips and by the Autumn Equinox Merlin’s wounds have healed and he is ready to do battle where it's his turn to conquer. Despite being adversaries, without one, the other would no longer be and one cannot truly hate what makes him whole. Nor can one be with the enemy he has learned to love. It is lonely being a king, except for the equinox. The equinox is when they can be together, equals for a short time until the perpetual cycle begins again. Fic: Tari_Sue wrote Recurring Dream (The Waking Dream Remix) for Linorien (Merlin/Arthur – G – 1.5k) Summary: Three boys on holiday in Wales stumble upon an old ruined castle. Fic: Elveatas wrote All I Want (The Make My Wish Come True Remix) for Geeklover (Merlin/Arthur – M – 3.9k) Summary: It doesn’t happen often that Arthur takes Merlin to bed, but it’s happened enough times that it’s become a bad habit. And it's a habit that Merlin is finally trying to break. Fic: Polomonkey wrote Take Care (The Dart to the Heart Remix) for Malu_3 (Arthur/Gwaine – PG – 2.5k) Summary: Arthur and Gwaine take care of Merlin whilst in Jarl's captivity. Merlin only wishes they would take care of each other too. Fic: Tari_Sue wrote Not Completely Useless (The [hopefully] Not Totally Horrible Remix) for Kitty_Fic (Merlin/Arthur – M – 681) Summary: Arthur’s new manservant just might have his uses after all. Fic: Fifty-Fifty wrote It Meant Something (The "It Didn’t Mean Anything" Remix) for Ingberry (Merlin/Arthur – M – 24.7k) Summary: Merlin only has to do two things; one, don't let Arthur know about the magic, and two, don't let Arthur find out about the massive inappropriate crush he has on him. Oh yes, and also find out how to break the spell he accidentally cast on them leaving them stuck together 24/7, which makes the first two things so much harder to stick to.

[imagines-for-the-fangirls-soul]

Satisfied - Gwaine

Fic #11 of the Hamilton Prompts Song: Satisfied Warning: ANGST

“It’s beautiful,” you said, admiring the dress with your younger sister. She squealed a little and nodded. She laced her arm in yours and put her head on your shoulder.

“I’m so happy, Y/N,” she said. “Do you think Gwaine will like it?” You sighed, staring at the wedding dress.

“Absolutely.”

“Do you think he has everything ready?” she asked.

“I’m sure. Leon and Merlin are keeping a close watch on him.” She sat down on her bed, and started chewing her lip nervously. You sighed and put your hand on her shoulder. “Do you want me to go check?”

“Yes!” she said, jumping up. “Would you?”

“Of course. Anything for my sister.”

“Thank you,” she said, squeezing your hand. 

Merlin smiled at your awkwardly as you walked towards the door he was now guarding. You stopped when he clearly wasn’t going to move. 

“Merlin,” you said softly. 

“Yes?” he asked, smiling at you widely. 

“Can I come in?” you asked.

“What for?”

“To check on my sister’s fiance.” He was still looking at you awkwardly. “Merlin, please.”

“Okay.” He moved to the side, and you swept past him, picking up your dress as you moved into the dimly lit room. The wedding was to take place at one today, so all the prep had to be done in the early morning light. 

When you walked in, the curtains around the bed were swaying slightly, due to the open window across the room. Leon was talking softly, but stopped when he saw you.

“Y/N,” he said.

“Y/N.” You noticed now that Gwaine was lying on the bed, but sat up when he saw you.

“Hi. Eliza wanted me to stop by,” you said, looking away from the dark haired man, and turning your attention to Leon. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, things are going perfectly, actually. But I do need to check with Arthur. Could you make sure that Gwaine is dressed properly?” he asked, although was already halfway to the door. You stuttered a response, but couldn’t do anything but stand there. The door closed, and you forced yourself to look back at Gwaine.

“So, I don’t think you really need my-”

“Y/N,” Gwaine said, cutting you off as he got out of bed. You looked at him as he walked closer to you. “Are we just going to pretend that things are normal?”

“Things are normal,” you said. “You are marrying my sister today, and you’ll live a normal life.”

“What about you?”

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

“Y/N,” he said again.

“Please stop saying my name.”

“Please stop avoiding my eyes,” he said. You looked at him, really looked at him, and tried not to look away, even though that would have been easier. “We never talk about that night.” You shook your head and did look away. You went across the room to where the wardrobe was, and opened it up, looking for what he would wear at the wedding.

“I remember that night, I just might regret that night for the rest of my days,” you said. 

“Regret it?” he asked, walking towards you. You pulled out his clothes, and moved back to his bed, laying them out. 

“You’re marrying my sister, Gwaine. Whatever happened that night-”

“Was amazing,” he said, finishing a sentence you couldn’t even start. You shook your head. “Do you remember what I said to you? The first time that I saw you in a year.”

“Yes.”

“You strike me, as a woman who has never been satisfied,” he said, repeating his words. You sighed, and looked at him painfully.

“Gwaine, please.” He stared you down, until you said what he wanted you to, what you said when you saw him that night. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. You forget yourself.”

“You’re like me, I’m never satisfied.”

“Gwaine. This isn’t a conversation we can have. You’re marrying my sister in four hours. Please, just let me get you ready, and I can go.”

“And what? We’ll forget about this? About us?”

“There is no us,” you said coldly.

“Y/N,” he said, walking forward, taking you by the arms. “Please-”

“Please?! There’s nothing I can do. Or you for that matter.” You pulled away from his grip with everything you had in you. “Your clothes are laid out. I’ll see you at the ceremony.”

You walked towards the door, and were glad that Gwaine didn’t do anything to stop you. Merlin was standing at the door, and smiled at you sadly.

“You have to stop eavesdropping,” you said to him. He sighed, and struggled to say something. You kept walking, knowing that you had to get Eliza ready. Every step you took was harder to take, harder to walk away from Gwaine. 

Eliza was dressed when you walked in, and she was struggling to put her hair up. She squealed when she saw you, and raced towards you. She hugged you tightly.

“Well?”

“Well,” you said, not realizing what she was asking.

“How was he? How was Gwaine? Is he all ready?”

“He’s starting to.”

“How did he look?” she asked, sitting down in front of her mirror as you started brushing your hair. 

“Handsome,” you said breathlessly. She smiled happily. You tried to smile, too, but it didn’t reach your eyes. Eliza seemed to look at you curiously, but looked away when Guinevere walked in. 

“Hello,” she said. “How’s it going in here?”

“Great,” you said instantly. “Right, Eliza?”

“Yes,” she said, standing up to hug her. While she did, Gwen looked at you with a knowing look. You frowned down at your feet, not wanting to meet her eyes. 

“Well, I believe there is something Morgana wants to give you before the ceremony,” Gwen said. Eliza smiled and looked at you.

“Do you want me to go-”

“No, I’ll get it. Meet me at the door before?” she asked. You nodded and she gave your hand a squeeze as she walked out of the door. You sighed when it shut and Gwen turned to look at you. 

“Not right now, Gwen,” you said.

“When would you like to have this talk? After Gwaine marries your sister and you live your life in misery?”

“That was the plan,” you said cynically. 

“Y/N-”

“I’m a girl in a world in which my only job is to marry rich. My father has no sons, so I’m the one who has to social climb. I’m the oldest, wittiest, the gossip, and Camelot is insidious. And Gwaine,” you said, sighing. “Is penniless, but that doesn’t mean I want him any less.” Gwen looked at you sadly, and opened her mouth to say something. 

“Eliza has to marry Gwaine. It’s my job to grow status for our family, it’s hers to find happiness,” you said.

“You didn’t think that when you first saw him.” You shook your head, knowing she was right. 

“He was so handsome. He knew it, too. I wanted to take him far away from this place with me. I might have, too, if I didn’t see Eliza’s face. She was helplessly in love with him, right then.” You turned to look at Gwen, fighting off the tears that were already falling. 

“I know my sister like I know my own mind, you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind. If I tell her that I love him she’d be silently resigned, he’d be mine. She would say she’s fine, but she’d be lying.”

Gwen came forward and hugged you tightly, and you cried on her shoulder for as long as she could. Eventually, though, you had to pull away. You promised Eliza that you’d meet her at the doorway to the ceremony. 

“I have to go.”

“Okay,” Gwen said, wiping a tear of her own away. “I’ll see you in there.”

Gwaine and Eliza sat at the head of the table, right next to Arthur. You sat on Eliza’s right, keeping your eyes on your food. Arthur had just made a speech, and it was clear that it was time you made one, too. You locked eyes with Gwen and then Merlin from across the room. They each gave you a reassuring nod as you stood.

“To the groom!”

“To the groom!” the crowd repeated.

“To the bride!”

“To the bride!” they mimicked again. 

“From your sister, who is always by your side. To your union, and the hope that you provide. May you always be satisfied!” you said, raising your glass once more with the crowd. Everyone toasted to the happy couple, who kissed as you sat down. 

You finished the rest of your speech in your head, looking down at the bubbles in your glass to keep the tears from pooling out of your eyes. “But when I fantasize at night it’s Gwaine’s eyes, as I romanticize what might have been if I hadn’t sized him up so quickly. At least my dear Eliza’s his wife. At least I keep his eyes in my life. And I know, she’ll be happy as his bride. And I know, he will never be satisfied. I will never be satisfied.”