#i really tried no to write this bc who wants to get into got discourse right now but i couldn't get it off my mind

[thesilverlady]

Judging by how Ryan love to show his feminist ideals by making female characters go through unspeakable amount of non-canon abuse and violence. And the only way for Rhaenyra's story to be a progressive/feminist tale is by making her get abused by the men around her. I am going to assume it's wouldn't be that far for Ryan to change Rhae's death and makes her gets raped in 4k scene by aegon (who should be disabled but we know Ryan loves to ignore source material) like show Rhaenyra's got zero respect from the writers. Like even her relationship with Daemon which wasn't healthy in the book to begin with , is now not really about her but because Daemon got the hots for Viserys (some leaks implies it for Aemma) he started projecting into her and entered a relationship with her bc it's the closest he can get to Visussy 🤓 f&b was already bad for me personally but Ryan is such a talented mf he managed to come up with much worse

*sorry for the rant I don't really ship daemrya but I really hate watching a female character get non-canon abuse just for the writers to prove a point about a male character *

Edit: My answer became very negative so for the pookies who want to avoid discourse and negativity pls scroll past ♥

it's alright! no need to apologize! 🫶

tbh with you I do enjoy daemyra very much in the book but I fully acknowledge their dynamic has its toxicity (tbf it's super rare to find a wholesome, sweet, "healthy" asoiaf couple and I probably wouldn't even get that hooked compared to how I get with the dark ones)

That being said, the couple lost me already by s1 ep4, so it terms of shipping I've given up waiting anything from them

Now about the writing, hotd has been misogynistic from the start so I'm not exactly waiting for a transformation to happen in s2.

in s1 Alicent’s character was rewritten - in such a way that the new version of her doesn't even experience a moment of happiness or a second of having autonomy or power. She's always someone's punching bag while also her being hypocritical and nasty to Rhaenyra

Laena's way of death was completely unnecessary and brutal, similiar to Aemma's. And the fact they made getting burnt alive being "a dragon rider's death" already gave a hint about how Rhaenyra's death will be seen if it follows canon.

asoiaf established how brutal dragon fire is when Rhaegal bathed Quentyn after he tried to tame Viserion. It's not "honorable" as hotd tries to make it be, it's torturous. And my concern with Rhaenyra's death is that it won't be seen for its brutality.

To continue Baela & Rhaena were barely given any lines, their role as kids was getting dismissed but their dad and as adults they were just standing silently - you'd think they were background characters.

Mysaria's character was brushed off by erasing the child loss she went through due to Viserys - which debatably worked as a trigger for the events she also did in the plot.

Rhaenys was downright written as an idiot who was envious of Rhaenyra and instead of supporting her, she was trying to "humble" her by being an asshole. When she got the opportunity to destroy the greens during the coronation she walked away because.... *check notes" she made eye contact with alicent and the power of motherhood won? her granddaughters being engaged wasn't enough for her to act I guess.

Then there's Helaena, who while she did have an extremely tiny role in the book, it doesn't justify making her extra passive. I've talked about this before but making her having "dragon dreams" is useless and a waste of time and it's also a great excuse to have her be dismissed and ignored.

Helaena in the book was said to be pleasant, motherly, patient and calm. I won't mention the leaks I've read about b&c but if they're true they paint her in a very weird light.

Rhaenyra deserves an entire post of her own. If alicent was the punching bad Rhaenyra is the bing bong boll being tosses from one person to another each second.

So yeah, the issue isn't about shipping or even which teams anyone sides with. The writing is atrocious to all the female characters, and what's the cherry on top is the showrunners constantly patting themselves in the back for being "feminist" and GA falls for it!

I'm so burnt out 😩 This is why I've decided to attempt turn off the media analysis for the show 'cause it's like kicking a dead horse. My goal for this season is to try to vent less and enjoy whatever I can put of context without thinking too hard about it.

[fluffypotatey]

Macaque Book Club AU

He’s the only one asides from Tang probably who has read JTTW. So in his little book club because let’s be honest, between the theatre and the graffiti lego set, he seems like the kind to have a couple modern day hobbies in the arts like your grandma who has a bunch of friends to gossip with at the knitting meet or the greenhouse. He’s the only monkey actually using his human disguise actively so, I imagine they get together at the local library, someone brings refreshments Macky is allergic to by virtue of being a monkey but they get him addicted to (insert snack/drink of your choice) and he gets into fandom discourse at the book club with someone whose like “the 6EM from the book was a one off villain who died ages ago, get over it” but to him, on the worst nights it all comes back. (And maybe this is recently right after Shadow Play so.) oh wait pff, we’re going to need a new recent trigger I forgot he gets kidnapped right after 😭 okay so maybe this person is what pushes him to write the play. I hope you know the exact like of fandom discourse I’m talking about bc I’m really pulling from people who are like??? why are you hyperfixated on this one thing? And maybe Tang eventually puts the pieces together about who this guy is. I also can’t help but start thinking about how lonely Macky might actually be, because you’d THINK he’d be the anti social one but Wukong is the one isolating himself for a thousand years with 13 cats, I mean a bunch of baby monkeys. Meanwhile, Macranberry is out there in Six Earred Hearing Hell in the city and super chatty whenever we see him. He wasn’t as chatty around the Brotherhood. Only with Wukong as needed who was full out dancing on the tables lol, things change eh? Even defeating the smoke monster feels like an attempt at catching up to your friend who got a real job while you’re just starting college. (Aka when Wukong and his shiny new hero legend status sealed the Bull King.) He says there was nobody who could stop the two of them in the Celestial Realm or on earth but we know that 1) Macky doesn’t like the Celestial Realm. 2) They definitely weren’t spending all day there back then with the overthrowing plotting and also got defeated hard. 3) They weren’t actually vigilante heroing back then if Wukong picked up his demon defeating status after the journey. 4) Would Macky ever do that on his own or was it always with Wukong until he tried it out post-resurrection like everything else presumably new about him. He probably meant “nobody could stop Wukong’s mischief that I helped him out with but he mostly did all the big things like immortal peach stealing and the book of the dead himself and I was there for uh, moral support. And baffled that he did that. But I’m going to pretend to MK that we were a cool team and equals and this wasn’t just a precursor to our eventual fall out. Sorry Mr. “yeah you always did have a sidekick kinda vibe.”

careful, anon, he could hear you 👀

but lmao i love this au!!!! also, since Tang is in the same book club as Macky (and i kinda want them to always get into “scholarly” debates when it comes to jttw because it’s Tang’s favorite book and….well, Macky has a monkey problem…..), Tang is invited by Macky to the shadowplay, so end of 2x07 is basically

MK: uh…so that’s Macackle— Tang: MY BOOK CLUB NEMESIS WAS FHE SIX EARED MACAQUE THIS WHILE TIME??? MK: yeah, he— sorry, book club? Tang: THAT BITCH HE FUCKING LAUGHED AT MY ANALYSIS ON THE MONK AND WUKONG!!

and then you’ll just have Tang screaming at Macky throughout s3 about how he must answer for his “crimes” of withholding valuable academic information (3x08 is just them arguing about the content in jttw but it’s not actually about jttw rather about Macky himself and his blind anger obscuring his memories. they just use the book as a cover for the true conversation)

[campbyler]

i’m glad you said we could interpret what we like because i must be honest that i have been, but! only bc that’s how a situation like theirs is to me personally, and how i see byler- physical reactions feel natural with the love and eagerness attached 🥹 and i’ll be real i did laugh at when u posted the outline and had a note about “relax puritans” bc its so true. they were just kissing! people need not freak out about it getting heated bc of course they’ll do more kisses than pecks! about time byler fics let them be attracted. and it’s okay if I personally felt like there was more along the way after scene cuts, it didnt need to be implied, it is on me.

and the outline made me happy to see other adults in the fandom be mature, not bending for others like in the past. really. so happy that you guys write how you like and stand your ground, the attraction and intimacy is so palpable and the fic is perfect, it is just a bonus that their connection is so real that my brain finds it easy to see them approach a bit more in that alone time! I think the throwaway about a sock and packet when they first got to the isolation cabin clued me in haha.

love the fic. love how you write the boys. i definitely respect you keeping people comfortable (but hope in turn said people arent trying to police others). keep doing what you do! ^^

hi! this ask has been marinating in our inbox for a quick second because we immediately got flooded with ch08 asks but just know that when we saw this come in we nodded at the screen then at each other and then at the screen again. we know this topic has become kind of infamous in the byler fandom over the past year, and all three of us have tried to avoid engaging with it as much as possible, both here and on our personal blogs, and the last thing we wanted is for the main source of talk around our fic to be centered around discourse that is simply so so so draining and, honestly, super recycled and overdone at this point. from the beginning, our stance on the “kissing discourse” (???) specifically has been that it’s stupid LOL (coming from three adults who have each been inhabiting fandom spaces for a very long time) so given the premise of the fic, we definitely haven’t been afraid to lean into that aspect of their physical attraction and the response we’ve gotten from it has actually been wonderful! as for the rest… we’ve gotten asks from people who are grateful they haven’t explicitly gone further in the fic because that’s out of their comfort zone/more relatable to them as people on the ace spectrum, etc (which is fine, we know a lot of people can be uncomfortable with more mature content!) — and we’ve also gotten some lovely asks like this, saying that people have been interpreting it in their own way or “filling in the blanks” which is also totally fine! our official stance on the fic is that they haven’t done more than a looooot of making out, but referencing a couple of asks we got earlier, some readers (like you!) find it realistic to imagine more happening in that time, and for others, them doing exactly what we’ve written and nothing more is plenty realistic enough!

all that to say, we are super glad you’ve been enjoying the fic and also glad you found the line about the sock and the wrapper funny lol bc it was super intentional thanks so much for the support! one thing about us is that we are all highly motivated by spite so rest assured that we aren’t allowing ourselves to be Policed. this is just the vision we have for the fic and we’re happy that people are resonating with it in different ways :^)

[patchworkcowboy-archive]

Just an fyi -- I'm going to be very selective on what bg3 blogs I follow due to a writer I had issues with seeming to be active once again. Story/screenshots under the cut. I don't think any of this should be an issue. Said writer and I have each other blocked and just don't interact with each other... But just in case I want the info/context here.

Back when the live action ATLA came out I wrote a few characters from the show. I had the following rule:

At the time (and as far as I'm still aware) it is highly debated and unclear whether or not Ian is native. Out an abundance of caution I chose to not interact with anyone who used him as a fc. I even asked for advice from multiple native people in an rp help server run by multiple native peoples. Said people were a neutral party in the sense they were neither ATLA fans nor were they my friends.They tried to help me research whether or not Ian was native. They ended up being just as confused as I was.

Despite my good intentions, I got the following DMs from a blog that I was not mutuals with/had not been writing ATLA characters with. I am not sure who "reached out" to them bc we had no mutual friends/rp partners at the time.

The user's name and personal info is censored out of respect for their privacy as as recommended by folks in the native help rp help server.

It was clear my conclusion on the research regarding Ian was different than theirs. It was also clear from looking at their reblogs that they really liked Ian as an actor. I saw no reason to engage in discourse since were weren't active rp partners. I also felt like no matter what I said they were going to get upset.

I do not blame this person for wanting to speak about native issues as a native person but it made me very uncomfortable to have a random stranger not only come basically yell at me through dms but when I chose not to respond then make a bunch of vent posts talking about "performative activism" and other comments that were clearly referring to their interaction (or lack thereof) with me (aka vague posting about me). It was clear they also talked about me to their friend bc their friend made a post that said something along the lines of "I stand with them and if white ppl are going to get uppidty of Ian being used as a fc then I guess I'll use a different fc"

If anyone wants to unfollow me bc of this I understand. Just know that I, as a white person tried my best to be respectful with what little and contradicting info I had on Ian.

[nu11lar]

𝓡ULES + 𝓖UIDELINES made by: embla

here are some quick expectations & some boundaries that i would like for u guys to follow! pls read this before diving deeper into my account, unless you're new here!

. . ¹¹¹ 𝓑EFORE YOU FOLLOW . . . you must be aware that his blog will contain nsfw and slight dark content, which means most of my one shots/drabbles/thirsts include explicit porn. i would suggest that blank, ageless, & minors plsplspls do not interact with these sort of things. they're not for the eyes of children. if you don't respect this you would most likely be blocked, one chance only.

. . ²²² 𝓓O NOT INTERACT W/ ME . . . if you're anyone that fits under the dni criteria. any forms of "-ism", fatphobes, islamophobic, homophobes, pedophiles, loli-cons, discord mods, porn bots, rude people, obnoxious people, spam likers, minors under the age of 16, people who support israel, etc.

. . ³³³ 𝓡EQUEST PROCEDURES . . . honestly, i really don't mind people sending me requests because my inbox is dry af. u guys can talk to me whenever you want, tell me what u have to say (idc if it's tmi, i will not judge you). please be patient with me once u send me a request, it will take some time bc i'm a huge procrastinator and i lack motivation most of the time. i will sincerely apologize if i don't finish it in time, i'm a human too, i have real life things to attend to aswell. do not vent to my inbox, if there are any issues or need someone to talk to, i got you, but please dm me privately and we can talk it out there & have our little therapy sessions privately :)

do not send me a request that includes the things that i don't write, i will most likely delete it or porbably ignore it. unnecessary hate + any mentions of discourse will also be deleted or ignored, this is a safe space for everyone and positivity will always stay in here. no negativity allowed in here bc that's just a waste of time for u and me (it's a mood killer </3). u can spam my inbox if you'd like, my notifs are silenced so i will not be bothered by it (but if u spam with hate then that's a diff story). talk to me abt ur hyperfixiations, let's thirst together babes <3.

++ and also, please do not spam like! i do not want tumblr thinking that i'm a bot bc i'm not! i'm just a girl ><

. . ⁴⁴⁴ 𝓞THER INFORMATION 4 YOU . . . english is not my first language, so there will be grammar errors & spelling mistakes. if you notice any of these pls feel free to tell me, but only say it nicely (i'm a very sensitive person).

for now, minors are only allowed to read my sfw pieces. i might make a sfw masterlist which will include very heartwarming stuff for all of you guys, i don't mind if a person who is 16+ interacts with me in the inbox. just please, don't interact with explicit stuff in my blog (it makes me uncomfortable thinking how kids might've read my nsfw pieces). i know, i know, most people in their young ages have watched porn or might've tried watching porn on youtube but really, i don't want kids getting involved in reading these sort of things (like come back when you actually grown up). i'm not your parent.

the reader in this blog does not have any specific ethnicity or any other facial features, but their body types would most likely include a pudge of tummy & thick thighs (but anyone is free to read!). the reader will go to your imagination becase it's you! the only subtle changes that i will make is probably the clothing style and few accessories (ex. piercings, tattoos, glasses, etc.). the reader will most likely be hyperfeminine and dressed up all pretty & pink! if that isn't ur cup of tea then imagine yourself wearing smth else.

. . ⁵⁵⁵ 𝓨ES IN WRITING . . . bdsm but not too heavy, spanking, choking kink, corruption kink, breeding kink, tummy bulging, throat bulging, hate sex, secret affairs, cheating, a little bit of toxic relationships, creampie, breeding, hairpulling, overstimulation, edging, maybe a bit of dom! reader, female char x fem! reader, cervix fucking, sex toy usage, ice play, degradation, friends w/ benefits, pet play (?), double penetration, sweet and passionate sex, masturbating, hybrid! fem reader, voyeurism, exhibitionism, somnophillia, dacryphilia, pubilc sex, japanese rope bondage (shibari), lactation kink, pregnant sex, brat taming, food play, tounge fucking, agoraphilia, more things will be included in the future . . .

. . ⁶⁶⁶ 𝓝O IN WRITING . . . heavy gore, rape, aging up underage characters, any type of water sports, self harm, foot fetish, piss kinks, misogyny, heavy age gap (reader will be 18 and up !), any other nasty shit, incest/stepcest, scat, vomit, romaticising any types of disorders (ex. eating disorders, anorexia, etc.), any mentions of abuse, sexual assault/harassment, grooming, knife/gun play (shit terrifies me), cherry chasing, period sex, more things will be included in the future . . .

[littledead-ridinghood]

On the webtoon situation: it was basically a flashback to when Jason was Robin

He was sympathetic towards a kid who stole his bike, and when he went to get it back, Bruce joined him bc it was some kind of bigger gang. And Jason urged him not to hurt the kid, but the kid got arrested.

Jason got upset and went off to Bruce about it, and how Jason knows Gotham in a way Bruce can’t bc Jason has lived on those streets. Bruce tries to say he’s been out in Gotham too, but Jason’s like “yeah with 100 billion dollars in your pocket”

Jason is making a lot of valid arguments, basically, pleading for Bruce to pay more attention the individuals involved in crime than just the crime itself

And then Bruce is like “you think you know what the people of Gotham want” and he pulls up a poll that says “should Batman keep the new Robin?”

43% voted yes, 57% no (in a scene that’s eerily reminiscent of the poll on whether or not Jason should’ve been killed off or not in A Death In The Family). Bruce tells him “the people don’t like you.”

It’s just really harsh overall, and even Alfred says as much

So that’s where the sentiment comes from

And the sentiment is correct: Fuck You, Bruce. You had it coming when Jason came back filled with righteous rage and I hope he does it again.

Not to poke the ever present discourse but it feels good to be able to point at modern writing and go: “see! Robin Jason did have goals and desires that centered around the people!” Even if the webtoon’s not canon. But it does harbor back to his OG run rather than all the retcons that say Jason had no idea what he was doing and why he was robin

I really wish could get more stories of canon Robin Jason that aren’t horrible OOC (looking at you zdarsky scene with the thief. Like Jason wasn’t a thief himself to survive and wouldn’t have sympathy for other down on their luck-ers gag me)

I saw the panels and Jason is so right. Get his ass, baby

[theprismaticvoid]

I've seen a lot of discourse about Gwen in Across the Spider-Verse and whether or not she's trans, and one thing I keep seeing that frustrates me is people calling it "queerbaiting" because they never directly say Gwen is transgender in the film, arguing that it's "drip-feeding representation" and that the creators "should've done better".

It really annoys me to see people talk like this bc it shows that they very blatantly do not know how the entertainment industry works, how censorship boards and studio mandates handle these things.

A few years ago, Gravity Falls creator Alex Hirsch posted a video showing some of the emails he got from Disney Channel's Standards and Practices board, and some of the completely wild shit they took issue with. They legit demanded that a reference to "spin the bottle" be removed because they thought it implied that the teenagers were having orgies, or that Mabel not call someone a "poopy face" because it came across as a reference to "getting shitfaced" (a slang term for getting drunk, for anyone where that term isn't used). Even a character wearing an animal mascot suit was a point of contention because they thought it was a reference to furries and a character dressing up like a cartoon animal was going to corrupt the kiddies. Things that absolutely no reasonable person would care about were treated with the same level of gravity as if they'd had the kids saying the fuck word and giving the middle finger.

(And that's not even mentioning how Alex wanted to include gay characters in the show but the best he got to manage is the two cops vaguely saying they're "in love" in a way that could easily be read as just them being friends, in one of the last scenes of the final episode, after he'd already decided he was done working with Disney and was jumping ship to a different company after GF was over; at that point, it was just a matter of "What are you gonna do? Fire me?")

Steven Universe had to fight for years to get the Garnet wedding they so desperately wanted... and basically as soon as they did it, they were cancelled and given five episodes to conclude a story arc that was meant to go for at least another season, if not longer. The Movie and Future basically only happened due to the Crewniverse fighting for enough of a continuation to give the series a proper ending + strong fan reception to Season 5; Ian has made it clear on Twitter several times that the crew wants to make more Steven Universe, but the show that got famous for including queer themes being EXPLICITLY queer is too extreme for CN and they refuse to let it keep going.

Am I saying that Spider-Verse is the paragon of representation and that it couldn't possibly be done better? No, of course not. Am I saying people shouldn't want more than little easter-eggs that hint at representation? No, no way, that'd be ridiculous.

But even getting what was in the movie represents the team struggling against censorship and regulations to try and get across what they wanted. Even getting a pride flag in the background with "PROTECT TRANS KIDS" written on it is an absolutely massive thing, and there's not a doubt in my mind that this required hours of email back-and-forths with censorship boards who demanded it be removed.

It just really annoys me to see people say that they somehow should've done more, as if it was just as simple as a script writer writing a line where Gwen says "By the way Miles, I'm transgender." and that being it. It shows a complete lack of understanding for just how difficult it is to get any subject that they think is "taboo" or "controversial" into media meant for children.

And because I know people will bring this up: The stuff about Gwen is nothing even remotely close to Disney's fifteen different "first gay characters". Nobody related to Spider-Verse tried to hype up how Gwen was totally trans and this was a huge step forward for representation. Sony didn't try to use it to get brownie points with the LGBT community only for it to turn out to be a minor thing.

Spider-Verse including trans pride flags in the background and including an arc about her "coming out" as being Spider-Man to her parents is absolutely not comparable to Disney making a big hullabaloo about how Endgame and Rise of Skywalker were going to include gay characters, only for that just turning out to be one character mentioning a husband in a way that could be dubbed over and a three-second kiss between two nameless lesbian Rebels at the end that could be cut out for foreign releases.

[a-very-fond-farewell]

niki tries new things!

So, just to let y’all know what I’ve been into the past few months, I decided to make a list. some of these things haven’t changed from the past but others have! so if you see me reblogging more about the new things you don’t have to be startled at all :)

A) things 🍑 I still enjoy:

word of honor & faraway wanderers : I don’t think that’s ever gonna change tbh. I’m still writing a long fic for woh and I plan to at least get another one finished for the fandom before taking a break from creating for it. I had one more in store, but it’s becoming oddly personal and I think I’ll work on it in my spare time and possibly never post it, who knows!;

winter begonia : I fell in love with the drama and I’m still reading the novel that it was based on, so of course I’m gonna stick to them for a very long time! I have a long wip in place and another planned for the drama, but they require a lot of research and I’m collecting various pieces of information to give them justice. so I may be on hold in the fandom but not forever!;

other various danmei novels/shows: I’m still waiting on winner is king drama to air :( so you can see me ranting about sha po lang in equal measure. then there’s golden stage, my absolute love, and lord seventh :D so yay for that!;

good omens : the love is resurfacing due to the new season creeping in on us, but it never quite left in the first place. expect more content on the ineffable husbands and their unruly children >:) cannot wait!;

welcome to night vale : I want to pick up the podcast again! :( but I’m a perfectionist at heart and I cannot fathom skipping episodes! so I will have to plan my listening schedule accordingly. wish me luck!;

B) things 👯‍♀️ I don’t quite enjoy anymore:

the untamed & mdzs : I’m sorry but... it’s not doing it for me anymore ;-; which is sad bc I made good friends through that ;—; but my sparks only come back in regards to it while reading meta or character analysis. I still have some fics saved that I occasionally re-read from my favorite authors, but I think I have outgrown my stay in the fandom. I will be forever grateful for mdzs for introducing me to a bunch of new interesting things to delve into in 2020, for keeping me company during forced isolation and for bringing me joy with lots of new people. AND I think it’s time to let go at the same time. this doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy my friends rambling to me about this or that character, this or that plot point or fanon scenario tho! I’ll just keep my distance and let them have fun :) it’s ok;

lotr & the hobbit : only a few of you will know that this blog was originally a bagginshield nostalgia blog in origin. the username is evidence of that after all! I will always love both fandoms, but I haven’t looked for new content of fics in a while and I routinely re-read old fics rather than engaging with brand new creations so... it’s time to let go. I considered changing my username too, but since i share it with my art blog idk what to do... we will see!;

anime in general : namely Mob Psycho 100. I will always love it, don’t get me wrong. but I haven’t had the emotional capacity to engage with mp100 final season yet and I don’t think I’m ready to let go of it. I will suspend my judgment for now, waiting for when I will be ready to properly move on;

C) NEW ✨ things I enjoy now:

house of the dragon : look. I don’t really care for got or the book!canon in general. I’m just a casual fan ;-; no need to explain all the details to me. more than being a rude tourist who doesn’t bother to learn about the culture, think of me as a tired hostess or steward forced to take a liking to the local fast food place in between flights. that would be me, flipping through the menu and getting hooked on r//haenicent content bc I’m but a smol bi and a simp for pretty and dramatic ladies. sue me. I’m not interested in the discourse, I don’t want to know who is terrible and why, this is fictional and I am tired. but if you see me reblogging stuff from there I will tag accordingly with the proper tags from now on, so you can mute safely;

the devil judge : some of you may have noticed I started talking about this kdrama somewhere about last October and I haven’t been the same since. I won’t write for the fandom but expect me to be annoying and hyper focused on it at all times when you less expect it. I can be quite steadfast in certain aspects of my fandom life and this is no exception;

helluva boss : me? liking indie-turned-super-popular animation? in this economy? it’s more likely than you’d think! look. I’m slightly less casual and more committed about this compared to my recent hotd fixation. but. once again, I have no interest in the discourse. I will reblog stuff from it and make an effort to tag even if I grew out of the habit as of recently. I found out about it last April and it helped with my anxiety. I’m enjoying something new after a long time and it doesn’t even require me to create content for it either. I can just lay back and chill. so. no fighting;

don’t hug me I’m scared : ik it’s unsettling and I care deeply about it, ok? but ik some of you are a bit uncomfortable with the material so I will take precautions and tag appropriately. I will only reblog stuff from the fandom bc I have no mental energy to create any content for it. I have no ship to board and no intention to join any ship tho, so there’s that. I just like the medium and mindlessly engage with it, triggering or not. sometimes I trigger myself just by paying attention to it, but I won’t subject y’all to it and will tag, I promise;

dune : I will be obnoxious about it. blame the upcoming movie for it. the visuals are pretty, the ladies are even prettier and even though I don’t really care for the tim boy I am endlessly entertained by his character since Paul and his life choices are amusing to me: he makes no damn sense, compels me though. also expect me to be annoying af about bene gesserit shenanigans in general bc. well. I’m only human;

the hunger games : less than dune, but the new movie interests me quite a bit. I love me some fictional villains and meta on them. their fictional struggles fascinate me. I don’t want to engage in the discourse with this one either;

succession : I have not watched the series, but an old friend of mine very enthusiastically insisted I give it a try so I will do that while trying to avoid spoilers at the same time. the stakes are high!;

D) things 👀 I’m looking forward to:

crafting : I want to make tiny things ;-; where is the time tho????

reading : there are so many things I want to read! mental health has been wild recently, I barely had energy to keep up with my favorite fic updates :( that’s all I have had energy for in the past few months ;—;

drama series : I’ve been given excellent suggestions but I keep falling asleep at odd times and haven’t found the time for that yet. which is very sad and very upsetting;

drawing : I feel like I haven’t practiced in a very long time and that’s unacceptable!;

music : I have new albums to listen to from my favorite artists, but I feel like I’m putting it off bc I fear I won’t enjoy them much :( , on the other hand I have received amazing suggestions and I’m excited to give them a try!;

I think this is all! I will probably put a “keep reading” on this later on. but yeah! It’s nice to be back :)

[decembermoonskz]

hi izzy!! just dropping by to say hello and ask how you’re doing 🤍

but also seeing what you said about the anon messages really made me think—i do believe that you (and other writers) taking down your works or leaving has scared some readers, you know? it’s just a reminder that we should appreciate all of the fics and the writers behind them, and not only mourn them when they’re gone and it’s too late.

and that’s not to say that your anons or anyone else *didn’t* appreciate them, i’m not trying to call anyone out. i think this can be said for plenty of fandoms and plenty of things outside kpop fics too. it’s just nice to appreciate things and let creators know that you appreciate their things, and not just as a last resort.

anyways. just my ramblings haha. i hope you’re having a good day / night 🤍

aww I agree with what you said rain. honestly I didn’t expect anyone to send me any messages about my fics if I’m being totally honest with you haha 😂 so it’s come as quite a surprise to me.

So I’m going to continue this under the cut so it doesn’t take up too much space. I just wanna say that tldr these are just my thoughts on why I’m really archiving my works and the feedback/plagiarizing events going on and have been going on. Feel free to disagree with me on any of this but please anyone, do not come into my inbox with any discourse or just to tell me you disagree with something.

And before I continue I just wanna say, rain, ty for provoking all these thoughts out of me and sorry I got kinda carried away LOL This got SUPER long so don’t feel like you have to read it lovely but just know you are so one-of-a-kind and I’m so glad you stopped by today when I saw your message I smiled 🫂

So about the messages I got, I just wanna say that there were some of these ppl who replied to their own asks to me and they said they fully understand why I’m doing what I’m doing and it’s nice to know that even tho I don’t necessarily need any validation to be satisfied with my choice.

I’m going to just share my own ramblings and my own feelings towards some of these things bc I really don’t talk about it much (mainly bc it’s kind of draining for me personally)

I think some ppl do understand that this was an inevitability should writers continue to be plagiarized or essentially “left on read” when it comes to feedback (to be slightly witty and lighten this just a bit lol) this topic isn’t one I talk about a lot but I fully acknowledge and hear/see what other authors go through on an (unfortunately) regular basis.

I think the main thing I tried so hard to remind myself of is that I write for myself and no one else. More than once did I forget this and start thinking “oh please like this fic! please tell me it was worth it to write! please like it and me!” I think that’s what my thoughts began to turn into, and when that started happening I knew I needed to step back bc I really started to hate writing and I wanted to just turn away from it. I took a really long hiatus back in 2021 (iirc time is fake) and after writing tons of projects for myself and taking time off of tumblr, I came back in a much healthier mindset.

Basically, I really stopped caring about notes and feedback and for me it was life-changing.

I under no circumstances claim this is how all writers should be to feel better nor do I claim thinking like this is as easy as a snap of your fingers or that it cures all problems. It took me a while to learn this lesson (hence the hiatus) but having learned to not really care about all of that stuff I truly felt better about my writing AND myself. Any and all notes and feedback have just been pure bonuses for me and they brighten my day if I happen to get any. Heck, I’m still shocked that not one but TWO of my fics surpassed 1k notes, like, that’s crazy to me. I realized that once I stopped caring so much about feedback or notes and chose to focus whether or not I was the one who was satisfied with my work, I noticed a lot of positive things would gather towards (such as feedback or reviews).

With all of that being said, this doesn’t make the issues going on go away (though I wish it would). I can’t deny that this is pretty much the perfect time to archive my fics what with the surge of plagiarism coming into the light right now. Of course though, plagiarism has always been around and it happens to anyone over anything, they way I think in no way ignores the fact that something like that is out there and unfortunately we all take a risk when sharing anything online (tho ofc plagiarism can happen even irl but this is more focusing on online). I knew that risk going into it and it hurts when I see other people I know and people I don’t know have their hard work taken by some random stranger all so that person can get more praise from more random strangers on the Internet bc they couldn’t come up with a creative idea on their own.

I really hope that these issues can be resolved and I always send my love and support to all authors who have been affected by plagiarism. I’m glad more people are being brave and using their anger to act and call out these people and standing up for themselves or others. Putting those emotions into something positive is what I hope for the most.

Now the last thing I wanna talk about is the reason I (myself) am taking a break. I think that the timing as I mentioned couldn’t have been better what with everything going on, but these issues aren’t actually the real reason I’m taking this break but i kind of Sept my reasons reasoning under the rug bc it wasn’t necessarily as urgent as others.

My reason is simply bc I’ve kind of lost that drive to post my stuff online at all. The same thing happened when I used to draw and post art years back. I realized that I just enjoy these activities for myself and my friends rn rather than sharing it with a ton of people. Now this isn’t to say that I hate it or that I’ll never post again ever. I doubt that honestly. But I think taking this break is good for me bc I just want to talk about my fics and/or share them with friends right now and that’s enough for me. Im sad to stop posting, yes, but it feels kind of like I’m closing a chapter. That doesn’t mean I can’t change my mind later on or want to post again either! I think we forget sometimes that we can make decisions and essentially unmake them down the road. There doesn’t need to be this fear of seeming indecisive to others or anything like that. I feel like I’d love to come back and post again some time but for now I’m good. I enjoy being on tumblr to reblog posts, chat and ramble, and maybe even come back to see messages in my inbox. That alone makes me happy and I just don’t wanna add anything else to it rn.

Will I be back to posting? I feel like I will at some point, but idk when that point is exactly. For now, I’m gonna take my time and think about it. I’m gonna keep writing but I just don’t think I need to share it online rn haha and I’m content with that. I don’t believe I was ever “unappreciated” on here, I was happy sharing for the most part, and any and all feedback gave me a little pep in my step, but it wasn’t the sole reason I was posting and that in and of itself I think was the reason I didn’t quit posting on tumblr a long time ago. I do hope that for those who continue to post on tumblr, they know it’s okay to keep doing it. I don’t want them thinking that with people leaving they’re wrong or bad or insane for still posting. Everyone should just do what feels right for them. I hope more and more people will come to appreciate authors more, not just of kpop fic but any fic or any writing. I hope creatives will be appreciated and given lots of love and they will have lots of joy rather than stress in their lives. I just don’t feel like being one of those creatives right now, and that’s okay. I can always come back if or when I feel like it.

I think that’s all sorry for this word dump, this is a fic length itself 😭😂

[22drunkb]

Some thoughts about Bran Stark

Okay, so--not to butt in and trample around, as someone who never read the books and stopped watching the show sometime around season 3--but the thing is, I feel like the ending has finally allowed me to understand exactly what it was that turned me off Game of Thrones, which I never quite did put my finger on till now, and I want to at least write it out once. (Ironically, this has made me like the story better, though not its execution.) To attempt a spoiler-free summary: I’m going to be thinking about the thematic structure of the story and why that should make certain things make sense, and how they came to not make sense anyway.

The thing is, thematically and structurally, Bran ending up king makes absolute and perfect sense. It’s just that they didn’t write the story in line with the structure they were given. The problem with the show is--and always has been--that the writers don’t actually understand what “subverting fantasy tropes” means or could look like, and they don’t care about it in any meaningful way. What they care about is doing big, bloodthirsty, quasi-historical fiction with a lot of nudity. (See: the Civil War show they wanted to do.) And Bran’s whole situation only makes sense (or would have made sense, if executed properly) in the context of high fantasy.

Keeping in mind that complicating high fantasy tropes was an important part of what Martin reportedly set out to do, each of the Stark kids (the story’s backbone) had a clear thematic purpose. Each of them a) was a take on a trope, b) had a clear character trajectory that would allow that take on the trope to be developed while functioning as a working character arc, and c) through that trope-inflected arc, could allow the audience a window into specific part of the society (i.e., they supported the worldbuilding), which in turn allowed the further development of these takes on the tropes by giving them specific, appropriate settings and side characters to bounce off of. This is to say that GRRM did a good job setting himself up to do “trope subversion” in a way that would comment on the things he wanted to comment on, function as part of a larger world and story, and help support a plot that would be in harmony with all of the above. This is one very solid approach to character design. To be clear, despite this paragraph being about characters, I’m talking about themes--it has nothing to do with their personalities or whatever. This is about what ideas come together in the concept of each character and therefore how each character’s story develops the ideas.

A good reason to approach character design in this way is if you have set out to subvert, complicate, comment on, or otherwise mess with genre tropes. To do so, the characters have to themselves be tropes, or at least be designed in close relation to tropes, in order to derange them. So like, just to take the simplest two examples:

Robb: The Prince. Firstborn, shining favorite, destined to inherit. Set up (normally) to avenge his father, restore order to his kingdom, and go home. Bungles it entirely by seeking true love; meanwhile, in the course of his story we learn about the regional politics of the North, the politics of alliances by marriage and kinship, etc. Narratively, his failure allows the entire political and military situation to get infinitely more clusterfucked. All of those pieces fit together well thematically.

What is being subverted here is the prince’s marital destiny. We have loads of fairy and fantasy stories about prince and prince-types for whom pursuing true love just happens to be convenient (they can marry whoever they want), or whose pursuits of love are rescued by fate (his true love turns out to be his promised princess all along! She’s secretly a magical being of some sort, and that trumps betrothal agreements! The one he was originally supposed to marry died or decided to marry someone else! etc). This is totally kosher in traditional high fantasy (or in the folklore that the genre draws on) because it’s an expression of the harmony of the story-world; the characters go through their trials and adventures and end with a resolution in the form of marriage that announces that all is as it should be. What it looks like GRRM set out to do is ask what happens when people still follow those rules and the rules aren’t in harmony with the world they live in.

In particular, the entire thing points square at the fact that princes are political animals. It seems to me that Robb’s story was meant to say, well, actually, sometimes people with power just have to marry people they don’t love as a condition of being powerful (which comes up constantly throughout the whole show). After Ned and Catlyn, basically every “true love” couple is dysfunctional, incestuous (Cersei and Jaime, Daenerys and John), and/or gets narratively stomped on, as far as I’m aware. (Did Sam and Gilly make it? If so, I think that’s allowed because they’re commoners.) Ironically, Ned and Catlyn set Robb up to fuck up by modeling one of these convenient political-and-true-love marriages. He thought he was supposed to be allowed to have it all. He was wrong. The end. Next. But the show seemed to expect me to feel that the outcome was unjust and tragique for Their Love, when all that was unjust and tragique about it was that Robb was idiot enough to bring the consequences of his actions on his entire group of followers. That is the point. That his status has to constrain his behavior, and when it doesn’t it has consequences for others. The status itself is what’s being problematized.

Jon: The Secret Heir. Second-oldest, bastard-born, treated with contempt. In relation to the family, literally a supplementary person. Set up (normally) to be rediscovered as the true heir to the throne and end up as king (moving from the margins to the center; getting the acceptance he couldn’t have as a bastard). The twist is the “true” dynasty he represents is composed of inbred lunatics, and his potential access to the throne goes not only via that bloodline but via repeating their tradition of incest. Dovetailing nicely with that, he was set up from the start as less wanting access to the kinship system than wanting to be free of it, so instead of becoming king by virtue of being a Targaryen, he stops the reinstatement of the Targaryen line altogether. Meanwhile, for most of his story, as a “supplementary person” he gives the audience a view into a lot of corners of Westeros that are concerned with what is excluded from Westeros: the Night’s Watch, the Wildlings, and indeed the White Walkers.

Again, all of that lines up together well. It’s part of the larger derailment of the blood-as-destiny notion of a “true” king, heir, ruling dynasty, etc. (I think the main reason GRRM goes so hard on the incest, not to mention having not one but THREE bastard characters, is in service of this; it also means Jon’s character arc of wanting out of the bloodline system fits into the thematic structure. See? Everything ties together neatly.) But I mean. We all know the character was not executed well.

And so on. I could do the same for Sansa and all the rest of them. (Sansa and Arya are probably the two most successful executions of what their character designs set them up to do; it’s not a coincidence those are the characters whose stories people seem to be happiest with.) But the thing is, a lot of these tropes, while certainly common in high fantasy, are also found in lots of other genres. Chosen Ones and Unexpectedly Eligible Chosen Ones and Princesses and Warrior Maidens (whether in literal forms or not) show up all over the place. The fact that these aren’t strictly fantasy archetypes perhaps means they were less prone to being mishandled. Bran, though. Bran belongs firmly and only in high fantasy. He is, literally, supposed to be a magic priest-king. A take on the Fisher King, even (I’ll explain about that later). And his story was weighted toward the end because of what it seems like Martin was trying to do more broadly, meaning it was much more on the showrunners to do it right.

High fantasy is always trying in some way to engage with ~the numinous~, which is to say the sort of never-explainable mystery and magic of the world. Magic in high fantasy is usually closely tied to deep time, the land, nature, or the metaphysical. Ancient beings, lost secrets, nature spirits, hidden realms, that sort of thing. It’s part of the genre’s inheritance from the mythology and folklore it’s all based on, which had a much more enchanted, vitalist view of the world than we generally do now. (In a way, that’s the purpose for high fantasy’s existence as a modern genre--keeping some access to that.) What Martin set the whole story up to do was question the tropes that often go along with the genre by making the setting one in which almost everybody has forgotten about all the magic and mystical knowledge that is in their history. Westeros is an extreme, historicized take on the Shire, basically. (”English pastoralism you say? I’ll see you and raise you the English Civil War” -- George R.R. Martin, presumably.) They have no notion of what’s really out there and what’s really possible in the world, and have quite comfortably isolated themselves in a situation where they need not remember. As a result, the social institutions that were developed long ago in relation to the ancient magics and knowledges become, instead, just social norms that can be manipulated, distorted, and played out in a much more historical-fiction kind of fashion, which gives Martin lots of room to point out that, say, ironclad patriarchal bloodlines cause problems. (That is, if you take away any magical justification, by virtue of connection to the land or the spirit realm or what have you, for the right to rule, then you stop having to have your One True Kings also be good people. It allows him to pull apart the different pieces of that trope and suggest that their being connected in the first place is questionable. Which it is! He’s right and he should say it!)

But the magic has to come back at some point, or else it’s really not high fantasy. And it seems like what he wanted to do was have all these elements from outside Westeros--the White Walkers, that god whose name I’ve forgotten, and Daenerys with her dragons--converge on it such that the characters would have to go back to their deep history and call those things back up in order to deal with the real world they live in (instead of the wealthy political bubble of all the scheming) and thus get to a point where they could actually change their system for the better. You can think of it as a very elaborate deus ex machina in a way, except the deus ex machina isn’t Daenerys showing up with dragons to fight the White Walkers or Arya having trained (again, outside Westeros, for the record) just the right way for killing the Night King. It’s all of these external forces forcing the characters in Westeros to get their fucking shit together. Otherwise there’s really no resolution to the war, in a high fantasy version of the story. It’s just historical fiction with some weird bells and whistles. Without a need to go back and figure out whatever the First Men were up to, there’s no incentive to go back to the numinous. That he intended for sure that some version of a return of the numinous end up being a big part of the climax is reinforced for me by the fact that the Starks--again, the backbone of the whole story--are set up as being unusually in touch with this mystic/magical heritage (the old gods, the crypt, the godswood) and unusually faithful to the traditional ways. They were introduced that way for a reason.

So where does Bran come in. The thing is that Bran is literally named after the mythic founding king of Westeros, Bran the Builder. The other thing is that both of those Brans are clearly named after Bran the Blessed, a literal mythic god-king from Welsh mythology whose name means crow (but who for various reasons also often gets associated with ravens, which in turn are commonly associated with transcendent knowledge, magic, etc; it’s a long story). So you have a younger member of the story’s key Stark family, already closer to the sources of magic and mystery than most. You name him after the founder of Westeros who lived in a time of magic, traffic with other beings, and great building works and other inherited accomplishments for which the associated knowledge has since been lost, etc. You have him gain mystical abilities to transfer his consciousness to other bodies, or through time (absolutely typical Mystic Powers). You have him even take on a special priestly status passed down from the era of magic by leaving Westeros to hang out with other kinds of magical beings, which means he is now explicitly named both Bran and Raven.

OBVIOUSLY this kid is supposed to be king. He’s going to restore the realm to a situation in which the ruler, the realm, its various life forces and nature spirits, and the metaphysical are all connected to one another and, in a sense, present in the same body (which is the kind of genuine mythological shit high fantasy is always drawing on). But the writers then just sat around and did nothing with him for years on end until whoops hey he’s king now. Of course no one thinks it makes any sense!! It’s fucking malpractice!!!!

If you go to the GOT Wiki and just read Bran’s page, everything makes sense and lines up well in terms of a list of events. (Although it’s really notable how short the entry from s8 is, and how everything it lists is things that happen to Bran, pretty much.) There is a progression that makes sense. But from what I understand--this was certainly the situation when I stopped watching--nothing was ever done to suggest that any of this mattered. The Three-Eyed Raven, the forest spirits, the magics and so on--it was treated at most as a backstory machine. It had no connection to or effect on the rest of the story, so far as I can tell. The fact that none of this played into the battle with the White Walkers at all is flatly insane. The thing I most remember people saying about Bran after that episode wasn’t even “Why didn’t he use X or Y that he learned in the forest?” but “Why was he there?” which just goes to show how completely and utterly bungled this entire piece of the narrative was. Like, if your high fantasy story is making its audience ask “Why would the story put the one character with the greatest knowledge of ancient magics and powers at the scene of a battle against an all-but-forgotten ancient threat,” then I’m sorry, it has gone fully off the rails, and not just in its most recent season. That’s not subversion, it’s just fully dropping the ball.

You know what would make sense as a lead-in to Bran becoming king? Oh, his performing some spectacular feat of insight, magic, strategy, or all three at the battle that no one else could have pulled off because no one else had his background or powers. Even after years of screwing this part of the story over, that could at least have bothered to make a case for why any of it mattered to the rest of the story. It would not have been very subversive, but when you’ve fucked up this royally you don’t get to be precious about your radikal innovative approach, Davids. I can’t believe Peter Dinklage had to sit there and make a bullshit speech about storytelling, when a decently-handled story would have made it seem natural and self-evident by then (you can still have surprises along the way!) that Bran should be king.

Anyway, in closing: part of the reason I checked out when I did was that I felt like they weren’t doing the things I thought they should do as the story developed. Genuinely, one key part of that was that they seemed to be doing absolutely nothing with Bran, which was baffling to me because it seemed obvious to me he was set up to be an incredibly important character. At the time, I thought they were going somewhere close to this with Bran but just taking way too long at it for some reason. What’s now clear is that the showrunners didn’t understand what they should have been doing with him. (Everybody who was taken aback by this outcome is not a fool for not seeing this. They were, quite reasonably, following the narrative cues they were given along the way, all of which said “Bran doesn’t matter.” It’s maybe clearer to me because I stopped watching.) And what that now makes clear, in my opinion, is that they never really understood what Martin was trying to do by “subverting fantasy tropes”; that in fact they didn’t really understand the genre, let alone what subverting it entailed. Which is exactly what bothered me about it even years after I stopped watching, but couldn’t put my finger on--until, ironically, they proved me right about Bran.

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

perfect now - a close reading

only pure and true love for this one. it’s soft and sweet because the one he wrote it for is and needs cheesy uncool romcom soundtrack-worthy affirmations and it’s the most wonderful thing oh my the flurries 

some album booklet art for your viewing pleasure

((just a warning for below: while the lyric analysis was kept fairly neutral and close to the words and their meaning, more and more parallels did ensure me larrying out by the time the analysis kicked off so if you’re not into that, you can skip this one!))

⟼ check out @bluewinnerangel​ ‘s magnificent post with all the parallels to 1d/h&l bc it’s exhaustive and was a source for mine <3 thank you again for your service <3 bc this song really is a fanpiece of every song that has been important to them throughout their career so far, whether they wrote it or not, and it’s honestly kinda impressive

SUMMARY

you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway

lyric breakdown ft. the many parallels, incl. little things, through the dark and wmyb

what this says about louis, his partner and the relationship he is in

never gonna dance again frenzy

identity 

louis is a marvellous majestic sonofabitch basically <3

walls, track 10

～ little things “you still have to squeeze into your jeans, but you’re perfect to me”

You don’t feel pretty and it’s hard to miss

You don’t feel pretty and it’s hard to miss

later lyric: “like a neon sign” - i see through you trying to hide away your insecurities

I wish that you could see my point of view As someone staring back at you

“you” is also staring at him, but perhaps is too insecure to realise how mutual the adoration is

i wish i could get you out of your own negative spiral and give you a look at yourself from my perspective

～ wmyb “everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you” 

～ wmyb “right now i’m looking at you and i can’t believe you don’t know you’re beautiful”

～ little things “you never love yourself half as much as I love you, and you’ll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to. If I let you know, I’m here for you, maybe you’ll love yourself like I love you”

On Friday night when we’re all out I turn to you and you’re looking down And you don’t wanna dance I know you love to dance You never stop given half the chance

heavy echoes of kmm again, but the opposite: the “nightmare on the dance floor” doesn’t want to dance

when “you” is confident rlly not being subtle with who i think that is, they love to dance <-> tpwk “feeling good in my skin, i just keep on dancing”

“i know you love to dance” = i know what you love bc i love you

“given half the chance” 

～ tpwk “giving/given second chances”

given a chance tattoo, making another appearance (see below for more tattoo meltdowns)

Just keep your head up, love, keep your head up

term of endearment <3 

～ dlibyh

this album is full of encouragement to keep going and as much as it gives me life it ruins me 

Don’t hide away, don’t ever change

“be happy, proud”

～ “just hold on”

“pick someone who’s supportive”

Keep your head up, love, keep your head up Don’t look away, don’t look away

don’t look away from me

～ through the dark “and I can see your head is held in shame”

Cause everybody’s looking at you now, my, oh my

they have the stage to themselves / new career paths they’re doing on their own

could also mean ppl they’re going out with are looking at them, which “you” interprets as sth negative, which makes them self-conscious, while they’re actually admiring them bc they steal the scene

～ wmyb “you’re turning heads when you walk through the door”

I guess some queens don’t need a crown And I know why Even when your tears are falling down Still, somehow, you’re perfect now

“you” is royalty to louis, to put it simply 

they don’t need something on their head to make it known to everyone else - they’re a queen and everyone knows it

gendered: female - also used in drag contexts - the only time L has used any gendered word to identify his partner on the entire album (more on this below)

～ steal my girl "she's been my queen since we were sixteen" can't believe i forgot this one thank you @mortalenemiestolovers for reminding me!!!

～ falling

～ through the dark “you tell me that your tears are here to stay”

You never do, but if you asked me to I’ll tell the truth lying next to you

“you” never asks for affirmations directly, but by saying shit like their pants are too tight make it clear enough to L that they do need to hear once in a while that it’s not true

Cause you’re the only one when it’s said and done You make me feel like being someone 

Good to you even at your worst

～ always you

i love you so much you are a force of life to me, and even when you hate me i want more

～ drag me down “If I didn’t have you there would be nothing left, the shell of a man who could never be his best. If I didn’t have you, I’d never see the sun. You taught me how to be someone” (sung by louis first, harry second) 

～ through the dark “even if you scream and shout, it’ll come back to you and I’ll be here for you

You steal the scene and it’s unrehearsed

reference to working on a stage - their natural presence wins everyone over - that charisma is never manufactured

Don’t you wanna dance? Just a little dance I’ll never stop given half the chance

L keeps encouraging them, will also not pass by any chance to dance with them

Every insecurity, like a neon sign, as bright as day If you knew what you were to me You would never try to hide away

“it’s hard to miss”

L sees through them trying to hide their insecurities, pretend to be strong

～ through the dark “but I know you were only hiding”

SYNTHESIS

Perfect Now is not a fan favorite and I am so not here for that discourse, so please do not pester me with negativity about this chocolate drop of a song. 

As others have pointed out, the parallels with other songs written by Louis, Harry or for One Direction are extremely present. Especially Little Things is echoed loudly, but there’s so much more to be read, as you’ve seen. These are songs that are clearly near and dear to Louis, bc he wrote them or bc performing them was special, like with Little Things and What Makes You Beautiful. A lot of the same emotions come back in Louis’s writing, so much so that you can’t help but see the larger story behind it all. Throughout Walls you can hear him singing about not giving up and holding your head high despite hardships, and if you look back at his earlier writing, it’s always been there. Through the Dark is an early and striking example of this style of Louis song: you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway 

basically through the dark’s chorus:

Oh, I will carry you over Fire and water for your love And I will hold you closer Hope your heart is strong enough When the night is coming down on you We will find a way Through the dark

It is very clear that Louis is faced with a partner - I can freely say it’s Harry now right? are the antis gone by now? i think so - that struggles with his body, with his identity, with how he wants to present himself vs how opinions on that might push him down and dampen his spirit. Louis, always the supportive boyfriend, then tries his best to make him see the light, while keeping that space for his sadness, his struggles, or their joint struggles. Accept the sadness but don’t lose your heart to it.

I’ve linked @bluewinnerangel​ ‘s post at the start of this post, but I need to stress how good it is once more as I also shamelessly insert a screenshot from it here bc it makes me feel a lot and summarizes perfectly just how deeply Perfect Now is woven into the history of their lives, relationship and especially “you”s/Harry’s personal struggle with their identity/body/confidence...

Because yes, i absolutely think these tattoos are being echoed in the song. “Never gonna dance again” as a lyric and then as a tattoo on Harry’s legs like shackles around his ankles represents the sensation of shame, of being stuck, bc of your desires, bc of your sexuality. Obviously we can never know why Harry got the tattoo, as in what experience pushed him to choose those lyrics or what exactly he recognizes in himself, but it’s safe to say it’s about the struggles of being queer and navigating relationships with that identity and with others.

Most importantly, the sense of shamelessly dancing, dancing like no one’s watching, dancing together with your lover, as a celebration of self, life, love, is the key here. Harry got that tattoo ages ago, at a time when he undoubtedly felt way more stuck. When he couldn’t dance freely the way he wanted to and with whom he wanted to. Perfect Now is a reminder to him, an encouragement to still dance if he wants to, no matter what people say or think. Significantly, then, Harry’s own Treat People With Kindness heavily features that same sentiment, but in an extremely positive light: i have found a place (in life and in myself) where i feel like i have given and was given second chances and now i dance bc i finally feel good in my skin.

Louis has obviously been there from the start, or at least from when or before Harry properly started experimenting with/questioning how he likes to present and how he identifies as. Before he ever dared to consider pulling on a pair of women’s skinny jeans, never mind a ball gown. Louis has seen him limit himself as well as being limited by others ofc and has always seemed to have been there, with a secure hand on Harry’s back, to encourage him. Even at a time when boys wearing nail polish or skirts was unthinkable. Just remember how much encouragement Harry needed when growing out his hair; Louis literally joined him. yes this might make me cry okay i need to stop bc i’m going off track and this is just becoming a larry breakdown while i was trying to hype up this beautiful song. 

What I’m trying to say is: Louis has always seen all of Harry. He’s always had his back, no matter what. He’s loved every part of him. And now, on a completely gender neutral album, in the sweetest, softest song off of the entire thing, Louis puts in the word “queen”, and that is so very deliberate it makes me want to scream. It’s Louis confirming his love again and again while affirming the multitudes contained by Harry, including everything involving his gender journey. brb crying

It’s a raw Louis, an honest, sweet, kind, loving partner, and both of them are fucking lucky to have each other, and I also wish that all of us end up in a caring and wholesome relationship like that. I truly do.

[neko-rogers]

But It’s Better If You Do

Trying to keep your relationship with your professor was easy enough, until you learned that someone had found out about it.

words: 7,424 tags: manipulative!peter, explicit noncon/dubcon elements, degredation, implied overstimulation, blackmailing, kidnapping, college student and professor relationship, 

a/n: whew this had a lot of words compared to what i usually write. plus, since im bad at titles, i’ll just use my fav song titles lmao. (ps. erik lehnsherr aka magneto is here and im just glad i could put him in my little fictional world bc im d biggest slut for him)

     A complete lie, you just did not want to deal with college fuck boys.

     The man in front of the class was practically pouring his heart out into the lecture. The chalkboard was filled with white letterings from left to right, not knowing where to start as you take down notes.

     “It is important to keep in mind that bimolecular structure and function are dictated by the properties of the medium in which they are dissolved,” your professor explains while continually pacing from one end to the other among the students seated at the first row.

     You decided to seat around the middle to the last row, knowing it was the least obvious way for other students in the class to notice how much you fawn over your Organic Chemistry professor rather than the subject itself.

     Honestly you could listen to him talk for hours. All those information he had been discussing would not actually process through your thoughts. You knew that better than anyone.

     But who honestly would invalidate your reason? Everyone can probably relate to hating Chemistry, no matter what subcategory it is. 

     Considering that this was probably one of the most difficult courses you had in your program. You were just thankful and lucky enough you landed on one of the hottest professors amongst the campus.

     “Hey what did Professor Lehnsherr say about the problems during synthesis of proteins?” Peter asks.

     In spite of being fortunate about everything else about this subject, you were not quite happy about Peter Parker following you around like a lost puppy. Especially during the classes you both have alike. 

     The boy constantly asks so much questions as if you were the teacher already. In addition, he seemed smart enough to figure things out yet somehow he keeps on bugging you for reassurance.

     You did not want to be rude. He has not done anything to completely deserve your rage, however he was definitely getting on your nerves.

     Honestly you would not want to be infuriated over his consistent queries, but you were just as distracted as he was, maybe even more. With this, you were looking dumber to him each day. 

     To anyones pride, it was probably a kick in the stomach. You knew you were not the brightest in this class, but it was best to leave the information to yourself. No need for anyone to point out how mindless you were.

     And you really were not. You had other Science subjects you totally excel at. Sadly, Chemistry was just not one of them.

     “Well, uh, I don’t think I got that part either.” You look aside where he was seated and awkwardly smiled at him before mentioning an apology, “Sorry, Peter.”

     In return, Peter smiled at you and dismissed the question. You were not so sure whether to forget about it or take even the least bit of offense. You felt a little mocked by how easily he did it and innocently he smiled, but maybe you were just overthinking this through.

     “It’s fine,” he tells. “I just didn’t get the third bullet, but I’ll try to review it in the textbook when I get home.”

     “Oh okay, sure.”

     “Speaking about reviewing,” Again, Peter tries to start another discourse.

     “I was wondering if you got reviewers for the upcoming text for next week? We all know how difficult Professor Lehnsherr’s exams can get, right?” He lets out a forced chuckle, assuming it could lighten the mood.

     As much as he tried to make small talks with you, almost everyday, today you really feel like you did not want to return the favor. Especially after having to bring up the test next week.

     “I don’t really make reviewers, I usually just scan the books I have at home.”

     Lies. You probably have a box full of index cards and sticky notes in your room.

     You tried to use every studying tips every corner of the Internet could give. All those study-life hacks that really did not help much but pile up to your disorganized state of mind.

     You fucking tried to study Chemistry. You really did.

     “What, you don’t?!” He suddenly exclaims, not realizing the loudness of his voice as it almost caught the attention from people at front. “You seem to be busy all the time though. It’s like I always catch your writing or reading something in class.”

     Maybe your mood was just off but it definitely seemed weird for him to say that. Though, you did not want to make something from what he said. It was not worth your time.

     “I guess people are not always what they seem to be, yeah?”

     Again, Peter gives out that soft chuckle and smile, “Then I guess so. You do make a point.”

      He does not argue with you any further.

     “Can I at least borrow your Physics book? I only bought Chemistry and Biotech for the semester. Didn’t know they would actually utilize it for once,” he scoffs. 

     At first you hesitated. You were reviewing for it too, but you already felt bad for being no help whenever he asks a question and often times disregarding him when your mood if off. Plus, you did just make it look like you were not much of a study-freak.

     “Okay.”

     He instinctively fist pumps the air and looks at you with a wide, grateful grin. “Thank you so much. You’re a lifesaver, Y/N.”

     “Don’t mention it.” You grab the book he needs from your bag and hands it to him. He accepts it and places it inside his while also clearing the rest of his things.

     Looking at his digital wristwatch wherein he raised his index finger up as if he figured something out of it, he says, “He’s going to dismiss the class in a few minutes. We should get ready for Cell Biology next period.

     Oh how you hated it. Were you jumping to conclusions? Or was this boy really trying to be too close with you? Or was he just being nice and informing you to prepare ahead?

     God, you did not give Peter Parker the right to cloud up your thoughts like this.

     “Thanks,” you say, “but I need to talk to Professor Lehnsherr after class. Have to, uh, consult him about my concept paper that he made us submit last week.”

     As he tidies his notebooks up and carelessly shoves it inside his backpack, he immediately looks back at you with a confused expression, “Oh, I can always wait for you–”

     “It’s fine, Peter. Thank you though.” Two of your hands were instinctively waving in front of you, a meek gesture for him to stop coddling you or whatever move he had been trying to make at you.

     “Are you sure? I–”

     And if you were ought to be saved further from lashing out over Peter’s incessant attempts, you finally heard the words any student was longing to hear. “Class dismissed. I’ll see you all on Monday.” 

     “Eri–err, Professor Lensherr just dismissed the class. Better catch up to him before he heads out,” you hurriedly said. And with a loud slam from your notebook, you quickly shut him out. In addition, you practically shoved every thing in front of you into your bag without sparing a second glance.

     One strap of your back was slung over your shoulder as you hurriedly flew down the aisle. Professor Lehnsherr was midway into packing his things before you interrupted and approached him.

     “Professor,” you call out. “I have a question. About the paper I handed in last week.”

     “Uhuh.” He faintly furrows his eyebrows, trying to hide his already obvious bewilderment. “I forgot which assignment was that, Ms. Y/L/N.”

     There were students still exiting in class. So you tried your best to make your conversation with him less suspicious. He was most likely doing the same. 

     “It was about the Chemistry-proposal thing.” You snapped your fingers a few times as you gathered your train of thought, but realizing it was not going effectively. “Well I just wanted to confirm it since, you know, I was hoping for any feedback from you throughout this week.”

     “I’m not sure if I have read it. I’ve certainly been busy this week,” he clarifies. “Nonetheless, we can talk about it later. Thank you for bringing it up. I’ll make sure to follow it up in my schedule, Ms. Y/N.”

     Both of you made your way out the door once there were only a minuscule amount of students left in class. You probably had been looking at your professor with gushing stares, but you doubt the other people in the room could notice it. They were farther away from where both of you stood, much less would they be able to hear what the two of your were talking about.

     “Oh thank you so much, sir!” You almost cried out and jumped in joy while reaching through the threshold. Moreover, you composed yourself before mumbling out, “I’ll see you later, Eric.” 

     In which you were certain no one would have heard it besides him.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

     “I’m sure you’ll get a good grade in the exams, Y/N,” Eric leans back to his seat with a humble smile upon his face. 

     “Really? I doubt so, there’s a kid in your class that keeps bugging me out to a study date, or whatever you call it,” you sneer. You lick your lips as you finish taking a sip around the wine glass, setting it down and looking back at the man you were having dinner with. “It’s getting very annoying though, he surely knows how to get on my nerves.”

     “I’m sure he’s just trying to flirt with you, like any other college boys do.” He optimistically and maturely lays out the options. “It’s pretty normal for anyone to chase someone they are fond of, especially for young adults like you.”

     It was a pretty obvious sign that he was trying to let his message reach you. 

     “Well, I apologize for my standards of men,” you say. “I just want to skip the whole heartbreak in college and character development. All that stuff you usually see in a typical teen romance movie.”

     You sigh, looking down and saying, “I already found a man for me. Why would I stoop down for some guy who’s most likely wanting something from me, and dumping me once he got what he wanted.”

     “Y/N, I don’t blame you for liking men that’s ten years older than you,” Eric assures. “But I want you to realize that you still have a lot to look forward after graduating

     “And I look forward for you too!” You tried to not raise your voice, though having dinner in his house wouldn’t really catch anyones attention. “I can’t wait to finally graduate from second semester and be able to spend more time, publicly, with you.”

     “Yes, I understand, honey.” He places his hand over yours as he tries to calm you down. “Like I said, I just want you to make sure that you’ve clearly thought this through.”

      Eric adds, “There’s plenty of men out there. I don’t want to take away your opportunity of experiencing something new at such a young age.”

     “I’m turning twenty-four! I promise you I’m thinking everything through.” Your voice was much weaker than a few seconds ago. The evident tone of strength fades even with one glance from the man in front of you. You felt yourself shrink in your seat. But you were sure he does not intend to frighten you into compliance.

     “Sorry,” you pout. “Didn’t mean to raise my voice.”

     “I understand, and I won’t pressure you any more tonight, okay?” He tries to uplift your mood, detecting quickly the shift of the room’s atmosphere. “You deserve a good dinner tonight, like I promised, sweetie.”

     His smile made you calmer. It was then that you realized why you were attracted to a man like him even if he was still your teacher.

     The way he handles you in any given situation so sensibly. Though it may feels intimidating at first, he consequently tries to override the tone of the conversation which cheers you up.

     With one hand, he hold yours and gently draws it towards him at the same moment he leans his head down. Eric presses a kiss against the back of your hand and you butterflies immediately fill inside your stomach. “I love you.”

     “I love you too.” Every doubt you had entirely disappeared now. If there were hints of you hesitating to continue seeing Eric, they were certainly long gone now.

     “Let me drive you home after dinner,” he offers, like the gentleman he is.

     Eric always does make sure you get home safe. However, you both agreed that he drops you off at least a block away from your house. Just in case people around your neighborhood might catch you, or worse your parents.

     It was not like you were ashamed of your relationship with Eric. Cautious was the term.

     You were only a few months in seeing him. Fair enough, he was your second semester professor and the both of you met before that period.

     You were not only risking the wrath of your parents once they hear you’re dating an older man, let alone your Chemistry teacher. But you were also putting him at risk if ever his faculty finds out.

     Eventually, the two of you pack up and end your conversation. Other than talking about college, the two of you also talk more about yourselves which has progressed you into learning more about each other’s personalities and likes.

     He helps you out of his house and into the passenger seat of his car. It had been more than thrice wherein he drove you home, and the familiar scent of leather and the typical Glad air fresheners has clung onto your nose. You strap on your seatbelt on just as he was getting inside the driver’s side.

     The ride was not entirely dead silent. Eric made a few more small talks before finally turning a right which was where he usually drops you off. It amazes you how instantly he remembered the way to your home, as you instructed him the first time.

     “Thank you for tonight, like always, Eric.” 

     As always, you made your way out of his car prior to giving him a kiss. You only had to walk straight ahead, glancing at your home which had one dim light illuminating through one window.

     Upon entering the house, you figured your parents were already asleep and a hint of the living room lamp was present. Taking the benefit of not having to be interrogated by anyone, you rushed upstairs to your bedroom, turned on the lights, and immediately closed the door behind you with a sigh of relief. A smile was also visible after recalling your night with Eric.

     As you made your way towards your bed, a piece of paper lays obvious in the middle of it. Your sheets were flattened and tidied, so you could obviously detect when something is placed on top of it. You have no memory of leaving it early in the morning before you left too.

     When picking the paper up, you realized it was a piece of polaroid film. Its back was facing you, having no idea what to expect at the front.

     At that point, the smile from your face turned into horror and all the color in you basically drained away.

     The picture displayed you and Eric at one dinner night out from a few days ago, you still remember. It could have been anything but malicious, but the way his hand was intertwined with yours as both of you laugh away without worries. It was clear as day, the light shining perfectly at the both of you. Anyone can conclude what was happening in the picture.

     You did not know this day would come. The picture was taken from Eric’s home to prevent such things like this from happening. So it puzzled you just as much at it terrified you.

     This was definitely someone who had been stalking either one of you. It was not a mere instance like paparazzis who catch celebrities dating on the streets of New York.

     Someone definitely have been observing the two of you.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

     Days have passed, a week almost. Examinations are scheduled for tomorrow. 

     And you prayed that the picture you received would be the only thing terrorizing your dreams. But you were completely wrong.

     From thereon, you started to receive more pictures, specifically one every morning and night, from your past hangouts with Eric. It were simple shots but had the power to completely jeopardize either one of you, mostly him at stake though.

     It was obvious that the person behind this was definitely observing the two of you for a while. Probably even during the most earliest weeks when your relationship with him started.

     Though it may seem unfair, you did not mention anything about it to Eric. It was enough the he was keeping with you, his job, and himself private – which clearly was not working out so well. You felt like it was your responsibility to handle this situation. You were so sure you did not try to publicize anything and kept it on the low.

      Nevertheless, it was out there. Eric had not mentioned anything so you assumed he did not receive a picture like you did.

     Currently, you were seated at the farthest row at the back of the room, somewhat near the corner. Physics was your last subject and you could not wait but finally leave.

     In addition, you texted Eric that you would not be seeing him until after the exams. It was an easy excuse not to see him, saying that you wanted to focus on studying for it; however, you knew that you would just be busy thinking about the creepy stalker gallery you have been receiving.

     “Hey.” Unsurprisingly, a familiar voice whispers next to you which disrupts your heavy train of thoughts. “You finished studying for tomorrow? I’m about to end my review with Chemistry later.”

     “Cool.” Probably the one of the most basic replies in the universe. “I haven’t finished studying, I’m kind of dealing with a lot of things recently.”

     You made sure to generalize your answer, but enough for him to sympathize and at least give you some space.

     “Oh, sorry to hear about that.” Peter frowns. He takes his seat a few desks away from your left, leaving you to continue thinking. You were thankful for his gesture too.

     Surprisingly enough the boy barely bothered you for the entire lecture. You were still engrossed on finding out whoever was stalking you, even so dating back to boys you evidently rejected during the first semester – who badmouthed you immediately afterwards. There were not a lot of names, so it was easy to remember who was who.

     You traced back to each boy and remembered what they said after you told them you were not ready to enter a relationship – a complete lie, you just did not want to deal with college fuck boys.

     Just as you expected from any of them, rumors have spread out about you which was mostly shaming you physically or mentally. Some were milder insults than the other yet at the end of the day you did not care.

     “Fuck,” you whisper to yourself. “Who was that boy at Liz’s party.”

     Your eyes were sealed shut, recalling a list of names while using your thumb and middle finger to massage your temples. It was getting frustrating and mentally exhausting.

     After some time, you had so much word filling in and our of your brain that you were not aware that your own name was being called. Your heart practically skipped a beat after hearing it the first time, assuming that you were being called to recite an answer. But you became content after seeing that it was just Peter, who started tapping your arm to get your attention.

     “Huh?” You lightly shake your head before turning your head aside.

     “Oh, class was dismissed a few minutes earlier than usual–”

     “Don’t forget to answer the assignment regarding thermodynamic concepts found it the book. You’ll hand it in immediately on Wednesday.” The professor addresses the class as they were already carrying their bags and themselves out the room.

     You start placing your stationeries inside yours, packing your other things up until it was only a pair of earphones and your phone left in front. Peter stood near the aisle while looking at you just as you were zipping your bag shut.

     “Oh shoot, I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he states out of nowhere causing you to furrow your eyebrows at him. “I forgot I still haven’t returned your Physics book I borrowed last week.”

     Nodding your head and standing up, you shrug it off. “It’s fine. You can return it tomorrow.”

     “Sure, but how will you do your Physics assignment?”

     Oh yeah. Your professor literally reminded the class a few seconds ago.

     “I think I might be able to do it overnight. How many pages is the task?”

     “Eight, or nine I think.” He frowns looking very guilty at you.

     “Shit,” you swore. That was a lot of pages than the usual assignments given.

     “Yeah, professor said it could help add points if you somehow get a bad grade at the tests.”

     “Never mind,” you tried to set his mistake aside. “I’ll try to do it within overnight tomorrow. I can ask for help from my friend tomorrow morning and–”

     “Wait! I realized you can stop by my apartment to get it.”

     “Oh–er, Peter, I don’t think I have time to–

     “It’s just nearby the campus, I promise,” he assures and adds, “it wouldn’t be a hassle, it’s probably on your way home anyway so it won’t make a difference.”

     “Uhm.” You were doubtful of him. 

     However, you did realize that you did not have anything to do after class. You were keeping distance with Eric for the meantime which meant that your schedule was mostly vacant after this.

     “Please,” he begs, “I feel so bad for keeping it the whole week. I swear it’s like a few blocks from here.”

     “Would it take more than twenty minutes?” You purse your lips, convincing yourself that you would rather force yourself to study at home than spend it at someone’s apartment.

     “I only take around ten minutes to walk so,” he answers. “Unless you’re a slow walker, of course.” The tone of his voice seeming to be joking.

     Again, he pleads. This kid will not fucking budge.

     “Fine,” you blurt out. Though, you realized your sudden-almost lash out moment at the boy that you made sure to reiterate it but slower, “I mean, sure. I can stop by your apartment to pick up my book.”

     An awaited smile and sense of agreement washes over you.

     Peter then leads the way as you walked behind him, maintaining a short distance so people would not throw out any suspicious looks. Like in every college, everyone knows just how fast gossips formulate and rumors spread.

     If you think about it though, it might avert anyone’s suspicion – mainly pertaining to your creepy stalker – with you and your Professor. But you were not prepared for that yet, maybe some time when you can finally think about its consequences through.

     True to his word, as the both of you exited the campus, it took a short time before the boy in front of you told that you were about to enter through the entrance to the building of his apartment. You were not so sure if it was really a momentary walk or because you were so focused on thinking and keeping a distance.

     At some points he did often look back in case you got lost from following him. Plus, like always, he asked you simple questions either about your day or your subjects to make small talk. In which case, you were barely answering him but definitely progressed compared to when he attempted for previous times during class.

     In addition, as the two of you walked down the block, the number of faces you could only assume was in college decreased. Meaning that the glares at you eased up.

     “Well, here’s my location.” A loud huff follows as he uses a key to unlock the door for the entrance to the building, “It wasn’t that far, was it?”

     “Yeah, I guess it wasn’t that far.” You agree as he holds the door for you and then walks right after you.

     As Peter leads you upstairs onto around the fourth level, he proceeds to walk along the corridors. The array of same beige colored doors with small golden indents of unit numbers paraded along it too. Eventually he stops and inserts a key into the lock, twisting it until hearing the unlocking sound.

     For a moment you hesitated to follow him. You just wanted your book and you were sure he can give it to you on a shorter span than your walk from campus to here. Was it that troublesome?

     Entering his complex, you discovered how minimalistic it looked. To be fair it seemed quite small, the living room instantly greeting you through the entrance and a kitchenette at the side. But since his things were tidied up, it looked roomy.

     You instinctively close the door behind you, slightly aware that it did not create a locking sound. Following Peter, you took a few more steps until you stood still at the passageway between his living room and entryway.

     “Do you want a drink?” Peter asks.

     “No thank you.” You were still trying to subtle. “I just want my Physics book, Peter. Please?”

     He looked at you and paused for a split second. You could feel the frown behind the expressionless look. “Yeah. Okay. Sure,” he nods for a few times before turning around and proceeding to a seemingly narrow hallway. “I’ll get it in my room. Be back in a second.”

     Your feet faintly paced back and forth, still where you stood a few meters between the entrance and living room. After a few more minutes, Peter emerges carrying the familiar book with one hand.

     He approaches you within a few stops but stops in his tracks, leaving a distance from you. “Well uh,” he starts as his chin was tucked.

     “I just want to tell you something before I hand you back your book.” He looks up at you with really pleading eyes. During other instances in university, you were definitely familiar with that look. However, this one probably ranked as one of the most downhearted ones. 

     You did not want to feel regretful for him. Though it definitely feels like you just kicked a puppy.

     “Was is it?”

     “I love you,” he blurts out as his face goes back from hiding and looking down.

     It seemed awkward. You were somewhat expecting it, but you were also hoping that this day would not come – or not at least until you graduate and leave the university.

     “Oh.” You honestly did not want to react.

     Were you going to say sorry? How about thank you? Would it be better if you said you did not like him back? Or will the best response be that you are already taken?

     “Peter, I–”

     “Are you really dating Eric?” He shots up with eyes appearing almost teary.

     What. The. Fuck.

     “No,” you mutter. It was not much of an answer to his question. It was more on being quite horrified as your mind started jumping to conclusions.

     The amount of things running around your mind right now was immeasurable.

     Firstly, anyone could make two and two out of what he said, especially knowing that no one knows it even so around your circle of friends.

     Secondly, you should have thought better. Your doubts with Peter should have been grater and you totally underestimated him. However, some part of you prayed that he was just an annoyingly awkward nerd who follows his friends regarding flirting tips.

     Lastly, you turned around and ran.

     You probably got your way with opening the door and taking two steps out. It was not long before you felt arms wrap around your waist and either side of your arms. You were then lifted and pulled behind while you tried to kick at the air as an escape. Did not work though.

     Peter was surprisingly stronger than you thought. He already seemed fairly muscular at class, hiding behind those long sleeved sweaters and flannels.

     Eventually the last thing you remember was the image of the door of his apartment open while you get sucked into the room further. Everything went black afterwards.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

     When you felt that you were slowly restoring to consciousness, you were aware of the pounding at the back of your head and your arms.

     You tried to move your hands, wanting to press against the parts of your body that were aching. But you felt incapacitated as your wriggled your wrists around and felt an unfamiliar sticky fluid enveloping around them.

     “Glad you’re awake,” a voice says. “Does your head hurt?”

     You tried to open your eyes, the dark lighting of the room not cooperating with your vision. A light from the window and a lamp were the only things that helped you form something out of the void. 

     From there you saw Peter Parker sitting closely beside you at the edge of the bed.

     Hell please let this be a nightmare.

     “What–” You groan, “What do you want from me.”

     Your mind was building up your anger yet your body says otherwise. You felt exhausted and heavy.

     Peter shushed you in a caring manner, “We’ll talk when you feel better. I’ll let you get more rest okay, sweetie?”

     “Uhh.”

     That was what you could remember the most. If you have awoken for other times in between your sleep, then you surely did not have an idea of it.

     When you finally woke up, the level of your grogginess felt little to none already. You looked around and saw that the room was still dark and seemingly still nighttime.

     As your head was twisting from side to side, you saw Peter appear from the doorway carrying a translucent cup filled with water in one hand. “Hey, you’re finally awake.”

     Instead of replying to him, your wrists writhe beneath the fluid that you are still not familiar of. You could not really look up to get a good view of what it was, but it was wet, sticky, and felt like super glue.

     On the other hand, both your legs, ankles, and feet were free. The back of your thighs bounced against the bed as you struggled, but it would not do much since your arms were practically stuck.

     “Fuck,” you grumble.

     “That won’t help. You’re pretty much stuck there,” he says, Then he takes a seat at the edge of the bed, alike where you remembered him positioned from earlier, “Might as well talk to me until I let you go.”

     “Okay then, when will you let me go?” Your voice was calm hoping you could talk your way out of this mess. 

     “If you behave for me like a good girl, okay?”

     Shivers went up your spine as you cringed at his statement.

     Immediately, your mood shifts from calm to furious after hearing his disturbing bargain. Then purposely rolling your eyes for him to see. “How the hell will I behave if you’re a creepy stalker! You disgust me!”

     Peter hums, displaying a look wherein he seems like he was thinking. You were not sure if it was sarcastic or not, either way it annoyed the hell out of you. “Creepy stalker sounds overstated, it was more on being curious.”

     You scoff as well as exclaim, “You sent me photographs of me and Eric at his house! Fucking hell, Peter.”

     “Oh yeah that part.” He slyly pouts his lips to the side as he comes to realize what he had done, “I guess it was a bit creepy–”      “What do you mean a bit? That was invasion of privacy!”

     Despite being trapped, both your hands balled into a fist, feeling very furious at his dense answers. “I was living my own life! I kept my relationships to myself,” you cry out.

     “Yes, but you weren’t completely living your life,” he whispers while gently combing his hair through the front of your hair. “You deserve much more than someone who couldn’t proudly tell that you’re his girl. Is he even a man? Do you really enjoy that kind of life, sweetie?”

     “We were happy,” you weep. The evident crack on your voice was a signal that you were about to cry though you were not sure if it was because you were held hostage or because you were worried for Eric.

     No one would understand your situation with him right now. Especially Peter.

     “Trust me you weren’t,” he scoffs. “You deserve so much more, and I can give you that.”

     “I’d rather be alone forever than be with you, asshole!” Your voice was inconsistent, clearly affected by how fast Peter’s mood also shifts quickly.

     You also figured you were not looking entirely fresh while crumbling beneath him. Drops of tears and sweat were all over your face and neck, both your eyelids felt swollen, and your nose was almost stuffed.

     Peter stand from the edge of the bed and advances to his desk from the side. A harsh bang echoed throughout the room as your body twitched out of shock.

     “What does that dick have that I don’t?!” He grits his teeth as the curves of his jaw intensifies. A displeased look was written all over his face. 

     “P-please let me go.”

     “I need you to answer, sweetie. We going nowhere unless you answer!” He was never going to let you go if you were not going to cooperate. 

     Every step he takes closer back to the bed just increases your heart beat further. He had rolled the sleeves of his sweater up to the edge of his elbows and you felt threatened looking at how firm his arms looked.

     “Peter, p-please,” you hiccup.

     As Peter returns to the edge of the bed, he does not hesitate anymore to keep a distance. His hands hover to either sides over your body and sets the left side of his head on your midriff, laying while also getting a good view of your vulnerable state.

     He does not even look life he was struggling to make an effort to keep you down, but you could feel how heavy he was and was barely giving you a chance to move around.

     “I can give you so much more, Y/N.” The way his gaze directs at you was definitely one of the creepiest things you have experienced. He had so much emotions yet completely lacked sympathy for your state of mind.

     Shutting your eyes, you only cried further. You felt a hand cup one of your cheeks as its thumb wipes away the pouring tears. Like a broken record, you only pleaded more, “Please let me go.”

     “I can’t.”

     “Why.” You bawled, realizing he has no plans of releasing you anytime soon despite it. “I won’t tell anyone about this, I p-promise.”

     “I know that,” he says, “but you’re going to run back to Eric, probably tell him too, right?”

     You did not want to answer, merely shaking your head as you resisted a cry from your lips. It was somewhat what you had planned, but now you were just scared shitless.

     “You won’t tell anyone but him cause no one knows about it other than you two, right?” He corners your words. 

     “Eric would lose his job if someone, especially your parents find out, right?” Hell he was correct. He most likely had been stalking you for so long to find out about it.

“You love him so much, you wouldn’t want to hinde

     It was terrifying that someone had been learning about you and your life for a while without your awareness.

     “Please stop. What do you want... money?” you whimper. 

     Peter did not seem likes normal college boy; he does not think like one, too, for sure. Anyone with a right mind would not do something like what he did. No one would have the guts to do so.

     “I just want you, Y/N. I want to give you what you deserve,” Peter answers as he sits up and leans his face closer to yours. His mouth leaves a small gap from your right ear as he whispers, “Let me make you feel good.”

     “No–”

     He cuts off your plea with a proposition, “If you let me, I might consider letting you free.”

     “You want that, right? Want me to let you go...” His hand combs through the other side of your face, “just let me show you that I can do way better than him.”

     Every ounce of your blood was trying not to give in. You were smart, you ought to find a way out of this. However, you realized that it will not be enough. You already struggled so much from the super glue around your wrists and you could not imagine how much more would it take now that Peter was on top of you.

     Eventually you stopped struggling and let him be. There was no way out of this than to let him do what he pleases.

     You feel his lips press against your ear first and then progresses over your cheek. His grip around your arms loosen after detecting that you stopped struggling beneath him. You could feel him smile on your skin, “That’s it, relax for me. Good girl.”

     His hand reaches to undo your pants as his lips drifted on yours to force their way on making out with you. Another hand then presses under your jaw and throat. “P-Peter,” you choke, feeling lightheaded after being unable to breath properly though your mouth until the grip had loosen.

     “Sorry, babe.”

     He soon descends from your face to your neck and collar region. You were so sure he was leaving marks on you as you felt him suck and nibble against your  skin. Like a controlling asshole he was, you expect to see bruises on your skin by tomorrow.

     Despite having your hands fastened, he still moves your shirt upwards past your head. It halts and hands loosely around your arms as you emerge topless beneath the boy.

     “Fucking beautiful,” Peter compliments your body under his breath.

     Although he seemed to have time on his hands, he does not leave a second wasted. He also goes to haul your pants past your legs and ankles. The growing look of impatience on his face says it all.

     Peter moves from your side and welcomes himself between your legs. He spreads them out to have enough space for his body and you could not feel more embarrassed than this.

     You grit your teeth over each other as you felt him press fingers against your cunt. Instinctively, you clench around nothing as he continues to play with your entrance, making sure you get entirely soaked under his touch.

     “You know you shouldn’t hold back. I know you’re loving it so far, your body says otherwise,” he teases before laying on his stomach and moving his head closer to your pussy.

     Without a warning, he licks a strip of you making the back of your thighs quake lightly. Peter senses your reaction and continues to do so, using his tongue to play around and poke inside of you until you were slowly giving in without even realizing it.

     Just as you thought you were getting used to his actions, he then inserts fingers inside you, feeling your warmth around it as he pushes it in and out.

     “Oh,” you moan.

     He continues, making sure he also does not leave your bud of nerves behind. The tip of his fingers and tongue alternate on playing against it, making you throw back your head out of pleasure.

     “I bet he doesn’t please you like this,” he scoffs.

     Eventually, at your vulnerable state, you could already feel yourself closing to an orgasm. Your toes curled as your temples throbbed, sealing your eyes shut as you accepted on giving in.

     You bit onto your lower lip, trying to resist a moan. Somewhere inside you, you were still trying to fight back and not let Peter have the satisfaction he had been craving.

     “You’re being so tight... Just let it out.” He coaxes and you hate how you did what he told you so.

     The extensive grin on his face seemed priceless. He pulled back and you were aware that you seemed exhausted beneath him. You assumed he was done with whatever he wanted to do with you.

     But when he started to take off his sweater and unbutton his pants, you realized it was far from over.

     As he presents himself just as naked in front of you, he again welcomes himself between your legs. This time you get a better view of him and his muscles and abs. He gets a good view of your body too for sure as his hand reaches to start stroking his dick.

     He places one hand on your thigh and pushes it farther to give him more room. Finally, he inserts in inside you and you automatically felt him throbbing between.

     There was a growing heat between the both of you, and it only intensified as Peter started to thrust his hips forward and backwards. There was not even a rhythm from him as he moves harder after hearing you softly moan underneath.

     The slapping sound echoes through the room that would eventually reek of sex and you felt ashamed that your body was enjoying all of this.

     “Ah… ah… ahh… agh….”

     “You’re starting to enjoy this, aren’t you?” He brags as one hand was reaching for your breasts while the other holds your thigh up. “Fucking slut.”

     Your body and mind were tired and could only hold so much longer. It was not a surprise when your stomach started to churn your the muscles in your thighs were cramping up.

     Peter did no help after seeing you starting to wear out. He tried leaning in to make out with you and expect to moan into his mouth. You did for a moment, a combination of both your drools were streaming down from the corner of your mouth.

     “We’re making a mess, huh,” he mumbles. “But I know you’re already a dirty fucking girl.”

     He proceeds to deprave you with statements, “Can’t believe you’re enjoying my cock better than that old man’s... Such a fucking whore.”

     You twist your head aside, trying to hide the fact that you feel like your temperature were burning up. You were so sure he could feel the increasing warmth of your walls either way.

     Your eyes were rolling back as you resist arching your back, which was not really a success as the amount of pleasure was overwhelming.

     As you writhe beneath him, you felt a hand on your cheek. It pushes your head back onto looking at front and at Peter. “I want you t look at me when you’re going to cum, sweetie,” he orders and you could not do much anyways.

     The second time you came was a whole other level. You never felt this with any person you slept with so far, rather not this fast and intense to say. “That’s it, fuck, you’re tighter than I could ever imagine.”

     Peter continues until it was his time to cum. The bed continues to move along with his pace and your body was basically abused to his liking.

     And even if you were not aware of it, the boy was practically thankful that his agency decided to agree to soundproofing his whole apartment – his motive being for personal reasons, which they did not question any time soon.

     You were helpless, you knew that. All you had in mind now was rest. Your eyelids were heavy and your mind was drifting to slumber.

     The last thing you remember was Peter moving over your body to come all around your chest like a painter with its paint brush creating a masterpiece from your chest to your core.

     “I love you.”

a/n: ily pls leave comments <3

[unbridgeabledistances]

ian + mickeys neck (was thinking of the drunk ian fic and wondered if you would be interested in pursuing this idea further?) <3

anon i am CRYING thank u so much for this!!!! i have been feeling like i need to make my contribution to the “mickey’s neck” discourse for a while lmao and this is my opportunity (esp bc ian holding mickey in the 11x12 stills wrecked me)

in the spirit of following up 11x10 i decided to write this based on an amazing post @mickey-millagher made/a prompt that @pombby sent me about ian teaching mickey to swim at a public pool during lockdown at some point early s11- i hope u enjoy<3

(this is the tiniest notch steamier than what i usually write but it isn’t smutty fyi- tw for descriptions of choking😌)

--

There was no one at the park— the air hung heavy and humid over the empty picnic tables and wooden benches that punctuated the fields of dying grass. As much as people on the Southside were definitely not taking any part of this lockdown shit seriously, it didn’t surprise Ian how silent the public park was— there was still a scarcer number of people out on their stoops or lounging on street corners this summer. Ian guessed that the few people who didn’t think that this was a hoax realized that this COVID shit was serious enough that they couldn’t afford healthcare if they got it, or whatever— but regardless, that meant that this Southside summer was weirdly stagnant somehow, and felt different from the noisy and crowded rhythms of summers past.

It was the late morning, just as the air started heat like a convection oven as the sun rose over the skyline— and Ian had his heart set on teaching Mickey to swim today. The conversation had come up last night at dinnertime, when Debbie was complaining about the heat wave— and they had all started reminiscing about the rickety, tin-sided pool they used to put up in the backyard years ago until Carl had taken a hatchet to it when he was 11 when he was trying to tear it down. Sitting next to Mickey at the kitchen table, thighs pressed where their chairs were scooted close together, Ian had suddenly remembered his words from their road trip to the border, years ago now:

“You could try swimming across the border.”

“I never learned how, man.”

And he’d immediately opened his mouth, not catching the words before they moved from his brain to his mouth, and asked Mickey in the middle of the dinnertime chatter: “Hey Mick, did you ever actually learn to swim?”

It was funny, and arbitrary, and stupid; they were married now, but for some reason this small fact about Mickey, the fact that he used to not know how to swim and by now he might have learned without Ian’s knowledge, made something warm pool in Ian’s stomach. He’d known Mickey, and had been itching to be closer and closer to him, for a full decade—and there were still so many things that he didn’t know. And this was proof, this question that Ian still didn’t have the answer to about some weirdly fundamental aspect of Mickey’s identity— he was always going to want to keep asking things about Mickey. And he was always going to get to.

Mickey had looked him with daggers in his eyes, then flickered a defensive glance at all the smirks growing on Ian’s siblings’ faces. “Fuck you. I was doing plenty of other shit in Mexico, didn’t really get the chance to lounge on the fucking beach.”

Ian had reached under the table and placed a hand on Mickey’s knee—a peace offering, an apology for whatever Mickey-can’t-swim quips Carl and Lip would inevitably think up as a low blow the next time they all butted heads at breakfast time— but as the chatter about backyard pools and heat waves continued at the dinner table, Ian felt an idea stirring.

Which is why the next morning he’d woken his husband up by pressing a tender kiss to his jawbone, both of their skin damp and clammy from the heat in the stuffy bedroom, and whispered into his neck:

“I wanna try something today.”

Mickey’s mind had immediately veered in… other directions, his eyebrows raising in vaguely disappointed disbelief when Ian had explained his idea to go to the public pool and teach Mickey to swim with an exuberant grin on his face; but after some very enticing morning persuasion that had a lot to do with the fact that Mickey was still half asleep while Ian had pressed kisses down his spine and dragged him out of bed and handed him a pair of swim trunks, now they were at the public pool in the nearest park at midday, with Ian leading the way and Mickey dubiously and sleepily straggling behind him.

Ian slid open the lock on the chain-link fence that surrounded the pool, the same pool that was usually crawling with groups of teenagers smoking weed and toddlers in floaties who were sticky with melted ice cream on a summer day like today. And maybe he was just all hopped up on nostalgia, but Ian was feeling cheerful— there was a lightness to the blinding summer sunshine, radiating through him as it pooled on his skin, that made him feel weirdly exhilarated and giddy about teaching Mickey to swim in this grimy Southside pool, just because he could.

“I still can’t believe you never learned how to swim.” Ian said it over his shoulder as he strode through the gate, holding it open for Mickey.

Mickey just flipped him off, following behind him and setting down two towels and the 6-pack of beers he’d grabbed from the fridge as they’d shuffled out the door minutes before. Ian grinned. He knew the beers would be warm and syrupy in minutes—the air was muggy and humid, without any hint of a breeze for relief. Ian could already feel the sweat dripping down the back of his t-shirt; he peeled it off as he walked over the sunwarmed concrete towards the pool’s edge, crumpling the shirt and throwing it on top of the pile with the beers and the towels. Mickey was hesitant, not following Ian to the border of the water just yet.

“Seriously. I can’t count the number of times I was shoved into our bacteria-infested backyard pool when I was a kid. I’m pretty sure that Frank tried to drown me in there at one point.”

Mickey just shrugged noncommittally, his fingers slack around the bottom hem of his shirt and his eyes zeroing in on the pool of water. Ian thought Mickey would say something in reply— but the only sound in the air was the faint shouting of kids playing a basketball game the street over.

Holy shit. Ian had been so buoyant and excited about his nostalgia-fueled idea of going to the public pool on a summer day and teaching his husband to swim, dragging Mickey out of the house without a second thought, that he hadn’t realized it until now— Mickey was scared.

Ian swallowed down the grin that was threatening to overtake his face— one he knew that Mickey would immediately notice and hate, because he it drove him crazy when people gave him shit in vulnerable moments like this, when Mickey couldn’t do something. So instead Ian kept talking, hoping his chatter would loosen some of Mickey’s nerves.

“Didn’t you and your brothers ever go down to the other pool over on Trumbull?”

Mickey met Ian’s eyes then, raising an annoyed eyebrow. “Clearly not.”

And, okay. This was understandably bringing up some childhood shit. Ian tried to snap Mickey out of his head— he strode over to where Mickey was standing, a good six feet from the poolside, and snaked a hand onto the back of his neck, squeezing gently in what he hoped was a grounding and comforting touch that would drain the trepidation from Mickey’s defensive stance.

“One summer Debbie was so afraid of getting drowned at the public pool that she learned how to hold her breath for 4 minutes.” Ian grinned at the memory of Debbie dunking her head in a tub of water in the kitchen, making him and Lip time her. “Honestly, it was probably for the best you never went to the public pool. It was a shit show.”

Mickey scoffed, but the lightness was back in his eyes. “If I knew how to swim back in the day I probably woulda been the one doing the drowning.”

Ian barked out a laugh— and why did he immediately turn back into his 15-year-old self, with a god-awful crush on Mickey Milkovich, whenever Mick said shit like that? He pressed his lips into a smile, squeezing Mickey’s shoulder once more for good measure.

“Yeah, yeah. Okay, king of the Southside. You ready to get in the water?” Ian’s hand trailed down from its grasp on Mickey’s shoulderblades, dropping to encircle Mickey’s wrist and guide him towards the water.

Mickey immediately recoiled, yanking his hand from Ian’s hold and taking a step back, squinting and holding up a hand to block the bright rays of sun out of his eyes now that he wasn’t standing in Ian’s shadow.

“Fuck d’you mean? I’m not just gonna fucking hop in there and drown. You gotta show me what to do.”

Ian grinned again, without being able to hold it back. He knew what Mickey was like when he was afraid of something— defensive and grumbly and avoidant to touch. He rolled his eyes. “Can’t really teach you to swim when we’re not in the water, Mick. C’mon.”

Ian walked over to sit on the edge, then slid his torso down into the pool. The water was lukewarm and tepid, barely providing any relief from the sticky air— but it felt nice. Ian let out a little breath of relief from the heat as he waded over to the shallow end. Mickey was still standing by the mound of the towels the ground, watching him warily. Ian raised his eyebrows.

“You coming?”

Rolling his eyes, Mickey aggravatedly pulled off his shirt, tossing it behind him— sunrays bounced off of Mickey’s pale skin, owing mostly to the fact that Mickey had barely left the house in the last few weeks because of their prolonged “honeymoon.” He slowly walked to the very edge of the pool and, in a movement that made Ian’s heart grow ten sizes, hesitantly dipped a toe into the water like a cat trying to paw at something. A corner of Mickey’s mouth flickered downwards almost imperceptibly, a worry line sprouting on his forehead.

“I don’t know, man.”

Ian breathed out a laugh. Leave it to Mickey Milkovich, shit-talking king of the Southside, to be afraid of the shallow end of a public pool. Ian reached out a hand in what he hoped was a comforting gesture, still smiling like a sappy motherfucker at his painfully endearing husband.

“C’mon Mick, just stand here with me first.” Ian was waist-deep in the shallow end, the water pressing against his upper thighs— he knew that at this height the water would be at Mickey’s waist, right where his swim trunks met his hipbones.

Mickey’s brows furrowed from where he was still perched on the concrete lip of the pool ledge, his two feet firmly rooted. “Explain what I gotta do first. To swim, or whatever.”

Ian blew out a breath, still grinning like an idiot. “It’s not that hard, Mick. You just gotta circle your arms and circle your legs. But you have to get in the water first.”

Ian treaded over, pushing through the water to where he could rest his upper arms on the edge of the pool beside where Mickey was standing, staring up at him with what he hoped was a convincingly pleading face. Mickey’s eyes were still fixated on the water, lapping at the pool’s edge from where Ian had rippled through it. And suddenly Ian had an idea.

With a teasing grin, he reached a wet hand out from the water and encircled it around Mickey’s ankle, splattering the concrete with drops of water. Mickey immediately jerked like an electric shock had jolted through his body.

“You gonna come in, or do I have to make you?”

Mickey tried to shake his ankle out of Ian’s grasp, but Ian had hold of him with an iron fist. Mickey leaned over and tried to swat at Ian’s arm without losing his balance on the pool’s edge.

“Cut that shit out right now, Gallagher.”

Ian just grinned, squeezing Mickey’s ankle like he was about to tug him in. “Come on, Mick.”

Mickey’s eyes widened and, just as Ian had imagined he would— he started to freak the fuck out.  

“Ian stop that shit right now, I swear to god I will fucking murder you if you—”

They were at the 6-foot marker in the pool, right where it was deep enough for Mickey to stand on the very tips of his toes; and with this knowledge, Ian tugged at Mickey’s calf— causing him to falter, his arms circling like a cartoon character before he lost his balance and crashed into the water on his side.

Ian immediately placed his hands on Mickey’s hips, standing him upright before his head even fell under the water— but Mickey was still sputtering and splashing, like the drama queen that he was. Once Mickey regained his composure and realized he was easily standing on the bottom of the pool, his head bobbing just above the water, he swiftly splashed healthy burst of water into Ian’s face, the chlorine stinging his eyes and nose.

“Fuck you, Gallagher!”

Ian coughed at the water that had shot up his nose, but immediately splashed Mickey back—and then, because there wasn’t any way this whole pool situation was going to go anyways, he and Mickey were immediately engaged in a life-and-death splash battle, circling each other in the middle section of the pool.

Ian was laughing so hard he felt a stitch in his side— and Mickey was finally grinning again, water dripping down his cheeks and clinging to his hair. After a few minutes Ian threw his hands in the air in surrender, the water cresting at his shoulders.

“Truce!”

Mickey splashed one more surge of water at Ian’s chest for good measure, grinning like a kid in a candy store— then he took a step closer to Ian, eyebrows raised.

“Truce.”

Ian beamed down at him, pressing a quick peck to the top of his damp hair. “Sorry for throwing you in the pool.”

Mickey rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”

“But in my defense, it had to happen eventually.”

Mickey shoved him squarely in the chest, taking a step back. “You ruined the fucking truce.”

Ian gave a smug smirk. “Do you wanna learn how to swim, or not?”

Mickey flicked another burst of water at him, just enough to cast a slew of droplets onto Ian’s cheeks. “Alright. Get coaching, Michael Phelps.”

Ian hadn’t really considered how he was actually going to teach Mickey to swim— but it couldn’t be that hard, right? He tried to think back to when Lip had taught him how to tread water, on an equally as sweltering day in the backyard pool, when the yard was packed with lawn chairs and drunk neighbors and smelled of ashy barbeque smoke.

“Okay. So you’ve gotta move your arms in circles, kinda, to stay floating. And your legs too.”

Ian swam over to the deeper end of the pool, just an arm’s length away from where he and Mickey’s feet could touch, and tried to demonstrate how to tread water. “I feel like the easiest way for you to learn is just by doing it. C’mere.”

Mickey looked at him reluctantly, brows furrowed again in an outward display of his bundled nerves. “No fucking way.”

Ian sighed in exasperation. “C’mon, Mick. I’ve got you. I’m not gonna let you drown, you can hold on to me the whole time.”

Mickey raised an eyebrow— but then hesitantly took a step towards Ian, the water reaching up to the bottom of his chin.

“Alright, good. Now step where you can’t reach and try to tread water like I did.”

Mickey stepped forward again, then started to circle his arms under the water— and he was doing great, for a second, before he seemed to get too in his head about the mechanics and started to grit his teeth.

“Little help here, Gallagher?”

Ian grinned and stepped forward. “Here, you can hang onto me.” He stood where Mickey could reach and grab onto his shoulders if he needed to— but Mickey seemed to regain his confidence, and was starting to steadily, if a little bit clumsily, tread water.

He kept it up for a while, until Ian could see that he was overexerting himself— waving his arms under the water with a little too much gusto, brows furrowed and his teeth digging into his lower lip in concentration.

“Mick, you’ve got it. Chill out for a sec.”

Ian reached an arm out, a branch for Mickey to grab on to— because he had been joking before, yes, but he really didn’t want Mickey to fucking drown— and when Mickey grasped onto it, Ian pulled Mickey towards him in the water, kicking backwards so they were suspended in the deeper end of the pool with Mickey clinging to Ian’s neck.

Mickey looked nervous as Ian veered them towards deeper waters, his eyes darting from side to side where they were floating, his fingers digging into the back of Ian’s neck— and Ian smirked at how freaked out he seemed, standing only a few feet from where they could both confidently stand on the tiled pool bottom. But Mickey didn’t resist, or try to propel himself back into the shallower waters— he let himself cling on to Ian, fingers interlaced behind the tops of Ian’s shoulders, as he kept them afloat. Ian laughed softly in a warm, wet gust across Mickey’s cheek. “You okay?”

He could feel the heat radiating off of Mickey’s body, squeezing up close against him— and Ian couldn’t help it, the wave of fondness that came over him as he looked down at where Mickey was pressed against his chest; trusting Ian to keep them above the water, trusting Ian enough to go along with his stupid plan to teach him to swim in a public pool on a random morning just because Ian wanted to. Ian couldn’t help but feel warmth in his stomach at this simple moment, at the two of them bobbing in the pool— at teaching his husband to swim, something Mickey’d never gotten to do as a kid but something that they had the rest of their lives to do together.

“Maybe we could teach Franny to swim next summer. If we have our own place.”

As he said it, Ian hoped that Mickey could see the flood of hopes that he had for them in his eyes— that he wanted a place with a pool, and a balcony, maybe a backyard, and maybe even a fucking garden—he’d always wanted to grow tomatoes. More than anything he wanted to build something sturdy, that could stand up to whatever ground would inevitably shift beneath them in the years to come— he’d been thinking about that a lot these days, especially with all of the pandemic shit that had pulled a rug out from under this entire neighborhood.

Mickey’s gaze flickered up from where it had been boring a panicky hole in Ian’s sternum, meeting Ian’s eyes at the phrase “our own place”— and Ian instantly knew that he got it, that he could see the dreams that Ian was building for the two of them right in front of their eyes. That after months and years of obstacles and chaos and other voices infiltrating their heads, now it was just them— now it was just Ian and Mickey, clinging to each other and drifting through the calm, chlorinated waters.

And maybe it was their proximity, or the intensity Ian knew he was pouring out in his gaze, but instantly the air between them shifted as Mickey looked up— starting to hang heavy like the press of the humidity in the air. Their faces were centimeters apart— and Mickey’s lips parted slightly, his eyes now cast downward at Ian’s lips. Ian could smell the sweet, warm beer on Mickey’s breath, mingling with his own; he looked at Mickey, whose arms were still wrapped around his neck, water dripping down his face from the hair that was fanning over his forehead—and Ian just had to pull him in, had to place a hand in the damp hair at the nape of Mickey’s neck and tug him closer, backing them against the tiled wall of the pool.

Ian could taste the faintest bitterness of chlorine on Mickey’s lips, from the water droplets lingering there, as he took Mickey’s bottom lip between his teeth. Mickey’s hands were still limply wrapped around Ian’s neck, keeping himself afloat— even though Ian had backed them against a wall in the shallow end of the pool again, and Mickey could probably touch his toes to the ground if he wanted to.

Ian raised his hand from under the water, wanting Mickey closer— he pressed a hand to the side of Mickey’s neck, slick with water, and slid a thumb over Mickey’s collarbone, pressing down with the pad of his fingers.

And Mickey gave a little involuntary noise from the back of his throat, sending a jolt down Ian’s spine.

Ian’s hands circling Mickey’s neck was definitely not a foreign concept while they were kissing—  it was something they did a lot these days, especially as their hours in bed had taken a turn from the crazed, I-missed-your-body-so-fucking-much sex they were having in the beginning days of being in prison together and those early months after Mickey had gotten released— but both in prison and during this fucking quarantine, they’d gotten a bit more experimental, and a bit more reckless—especially before Ian had gotten his warehouse job and they were still on their structureless “honeymoon,” spending entire days lounging in bed.

It was those days of lazy, languid kisses, after years and years of already knowing each other, that Ian realized that he was maybe a little bit obsessed with Mickey’s neck. He’d always joked about liking Mickey’s legs, and that was true too (if he was being honest, there wasn’t a part of Mickey’s body that didn’t make his blood run hotter)— but the first time Mickey had grabbed Ian’s hand and put it up to his neck while they were tangled together, pressing down until Ian’s hand covered most of his throat, Ian knew that they’d opened Pandora’s fucking box.

By this point, Ian’s hand was pretty much always on Mickey’s neck at some point while they were fucking or even just making out— if he was being totally honest, Ian’s hand was on Mickey’s neck more often than not in lots of contexts these days, once they realized how much they both loved it. But there was something about this current moment, of Mickey wantonly desiring a point of contact there, right now, while they were very randomly and decidedly making out while floating in a public pool on a lazy weekday afternoon, that made Ian’s blood run hotter than usual, and rush quicker through his veins.

Ian let the pads of his fingers creep up the velvet skin of the side of Mickey’s neck, pressing a little deeper, a prelude— he could feel the vibration of Mickey’s heartbeat starting to flutter from where Mickey was still pressed against his chest, still clinging to his neck in the water.

They’d already extensively discussed limits and everything, Mickey would tap his wrist twice if shit got too intense— but even with that in mind, Ian pulled apart from Mickey for a second, trailing ghosts of kisses up the side of his neck and nipping at the underside of Mickey’s jaw. Mickey stretched his neck back and gave a little involuntary sputter of a moan, bubbling out of his mouth before he could stop it. He fisted a hand in Ian’s hair, at the nape of his neck, and leaned forward again to press their lips together with more fervor.

Ian pulled back again, his upper back resting against the concrete lip of the pool. Mickey looked disheveled and wrecked, half-dry chlorine-crusted hair sticking up from where Ian’s other hand had been cradling the back of his head, his blue eyes gleaming and catching the over-bright summer light. Mickey was still clinging his arms around Ian’s neck, holding on— they were in a fucking pool, and Mickey still couldn’t really fucking swim yet— and even though they were standing in a place where Mickey’s toes could certainly touch the ground, the whole thing felt weirdly insular and intimate, like they had to cling to each other.

Mickey raised his eyebrows at Ian, like he was daring him to keep going.  

Ian leaned forward, breathing heavily into Mickey’s mouth, but not pressing their lips together yet—and he reached a hand up again, against Mickey’s tender skin. Mickey’s legs were wrapped around Ian’s hips now, locked like a vice to keep himself upright in the water— and he pressed a little harder, gently pulsing at the sides of Mickey’s neck, in tandem with their lips pressing together over and over again as the warm waters surrounded them—the whole thing, the whole combination, made Ian feel indescribably floaty and weird and warm and blissed out; his skin stinging like ice and fire at every point of contact, electricity  zapping his nerve endings wherever his fingertips met Mickey’s skin. Mickey fisted his hand harder at the back of Ian’s hair, nodding slightly—and they were definitely not going to fuck here, in the filth of a Southside public pool, but this insular closeness, the knowing what they both wanted to right now, was equally as thrilling and fulfilling to Ian in the moment. He could almost feel his own heart beating, reverberating as it pressed against Mickey’s chest, vibrating straight through Mickey and back to him as they clung to each other in the water.

Mickey’s body was thrumming, letting out little gasps of breath between kisses and touches—and Ian pulled back and dragged his lips down the side of Mickey’s neck, inhaling the sunwarmed skin. Fuck. He was never, never going to get enough of this.

**

Later, they’d dragged their water-heavy limbs back through the still summer streets to the Gallagher house, their skin pink and their bodies exhausted from soaking up the sun— and they’d collapsed into bed, feeling the dried chlorine coating their skin.

Ian reached a hand up, rubbing a thumb over Mickey’s cheek, their bodies pliant and fatigued— and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Thanks for letting me teach you how to swim.”

Mickey had smirked. “Yup, that was definitely the only highlight of today. Swimming.”

[ashdumpsterpile]

Ohmygod YES Susan Pevensie is awesome please talk to me about Susan i want to know everything you have to say

Literally THANK YOU for asking me this bc Susan Pevensie is a character I never get asked about and I have So Many Opinions.

I'm going to start by saying that Susan used to be my least favorite character in the series. This goes for the books and the movies. Some of it was for personal reasons--she reminds me of a couple of annoying ppl I know irl--but it was also bc I watched Prince Caspian which shoehorned her into a relationship with Caspian which I hated.

HOWEVER. I ended up rethinking this position after interacting with Susan fans and realizing that there are so many wonderful things to love about her!

(putting under the cut bc this got long)

Things Ash Loves About Susan Pevensie

Aight I'm not going to do a formal analysis yet on her, but instead rant about some of the unrelated things I adore about Susan Pevensie.

Susan the Archer

Look we all love archery here. I don't have anything more to say.

Okay, I actually do have more to say. I love the fact that Susan is a complete badass with the bow. You get the general impression that she's one of the royals in charge of public relations, traditions, foreign policy, etc. and yet she's the most competent archer in the series. One of the few things I liked about the movies is how they didn't downplay this. They actually let her be a badass and show off her skills.

Also the part where she kicks Trumpkin's ass was awesome.

Susan the Gentle

Susan being the most passive Pevensie was something I definitely underappreciated as a teenager. I think my non-ability to see past "I'm not like other girls" narrative and the combination of Susan being described as the most traditionally feminine woman in the Narnia series is what initially turned me off from her.

HOWEVER, now it's one of my favorite attributes! I love that Susan is a badass and the most beautiful woman in Narnia. She has hair down to her feet, every man and woman in the kingdom want to fuck her, and she's still a fucking badass who will not hesitate to kick your ass.

Susan the Sister

Most of my thoughts of Susan as an older sister mostly stem from my own personal headcanons, but she is an awesome sister to her siblings. She's Peter's voice of reason, Edmund's sass partner, and Lucy's big sister.

Susan the Mom-Friend

She is a literal mother-figure for Corin.

"[...] the most beautiful lady he had ever seen rose from her place and threw her arms round him and kissed him, saying: "Oh Corin, Corin, how could you? And thou and I such close friends ever since thy mother died. [...]"

-The Horse and His Boy, 33-34

Most everything I have to say about this ventures into headcanon territory, but I love the idea of Susan basically adopting Corin after his mom dies. The way she trusts Cor--who she thinks is Corin in this chapter--is really sweet and I wish we could've seen more of that relationship.

Susan the Flawed

Something I notice from the fandom is a lot of people who hate Susan tend to because of her flaws. On the other hand, most Susan stans like to wave away these flaws and blame C.S. Lewis for being misogynistic or Aslan for being a "cruel god" and ignore the fact that she is a deeply flawed person.

Susan gets something of a "reverse redemption arc" in The Chronicles of Narnia. This makes her not only a fascinating foil to Edmund--as both are analytical, logical people--but an interesting character by herself.

She starts out in TWW as very skeptical of Narnia and it's whole deal and also very condescending to Lucy throughout. She ultimately does admit that Lucy was right and does get on board with the whole prophecy at the same time Peter does, and ends the book being crowned "the Gentle Queen."

In The Horse and His Boy, she has a very interesting dynamic with Edmund and in even more interesting relationship with Rabadash. They don't even interact on-page with each other, but it's highly implied that she was interested in him when he was a guest in Narnia. His behavior obviously changed when she visited him in Tashbaan, but you have to wonder what their dynamic was like before for her to travel all the way to his home when relations between the countries were strained at best.

Prince Caspian is where the cracks start showing through. Susan has lived an entire life as an adult in Narnia, gets thrown back to England with her siblings, and is yet again in Narnia as a child. This book is what really emphasizes her one fatal flaw: convenience.

(Put a pin in that thought, I'll get back to it.)

Susan denies once again that Lucy saw something that the rest of them can't seen. She continues this narrative until every other sibling finally acknowledges Lucy in the right and only then does she apologize.

The last mention of Susan is in The Last Battle, where all of her flaws rise up against her in the worst way possible. I have a lot of controversial opinions on this that I'm going to address later, but I just want to say that Susan's reverse-redemption arc is something I actually like about her.

(There is also evidence that Susan does get a full redemption arc, just as Edmund and Eustace did, but C.S. Lewis was pretty much done with The Chronicles of Narnia at the point and instead encouraged fans to write their own version of how that went down.)

Okay, back to convenience being Susan's fatal flaw. So the one thing that comes up time and time again in the series is that Susan is very focused on material comforts. I believe it's implied that she's vain, and it's canonical that her own personal comfort spurs her to make decisions.

"[...] I really believed it was him — he, I mean — yesterday. When he warned us not to go down to the fir wood. And I really believed it was him tonight, when you woke us up. I mean, deep down inside. Or I could have, if I'd let myself. But I just wanted to get out of the woods and — and — oh, I don't know [...]"

Prince Caspian, 81

Prince Caspian has the strongest examples of Susan doing this, but certainly there's evidence elsewhere. There are a lot of fans who are distressed by this, claiming that Aslan and the others are too hard on her and shouldn't judge.

Honestly, I like that she's written with this flaw. Not only is it very relatable--(my own personal comfort and convenience is something I highly prioritize too)--but it humanizes a character who otherwise is ridiculously op and basically the Helen of Troy of the series. It may sound like I'm using this as an excuse to rant, but I really wouldn't have her any other way.

Susan As Portrayed by Anna Popplewell

Movie!Susan is a fucking delight.

She's sarcastic and badass and awesome and I could spend hours heaping praise on Anna's acting and her portrayal of Susan, but I can already tell that this post is going to be long so, I'll just stop here.

(10/10 want to be stabbed by her tho.)

Personal Headcanons

Let's talk about my fanon thoughts. I have many.

Susan is Aro

There's canonical evidence for this! Susan is a character who is heavily pursued by suitors everywhere, and even lets herself be courted by many of them, but chooses not to settle down. Even when she gets back to England and is described as only having interest in parties and material things, boys aren't mentioned.

I like to think that in The Horse in His Boy Susan was interested in Rabadash at first because he was a brilliant conversationalist. Nothing she says about him implies romantic interest, before and after she realizes the truth of his intentions.

Susan and Edmund Were Best Friends

This might be my love for The Horse and His Boy showing itself, but I think Susan and Edmund were thrown into circumstances where they interacted the most with each other.

Edmund is the ruler in charge of politics. Susan is the ruler in charge of Cair Paravel's public image. I imagine they spent time as ambassadors to other countries and planning royal functions.

They're also the most level-headed and logical out of their siblings, so they probably found a lot in common.

Susan Fancast

I literally just said I loved Anna's potrayal of Susan's (and I love what they gave us of older Susan too in LWW!), but I read the books in 2008 and my parents didn't let me see the movies bc I was like...nine years old and they thought it would be too scary.

So I had to headcanon my own interpretations.

Queen Susan the Gentle:

For some reason Merlin wasn't too scary for me to watch and I fell in love with Katie McGrath in like. Two episodes so. (On an unrelated note, I also fancast Bradley James as Peter at the time.)

Anyway, fanon Susan is basically Morgana Pendragon pre-evil arc. Sassy as hell, hot as fuck, and can kick your ass.

Unpopular Opinions

Yeah, feel free to skip this part if having controversial fandom opinions is a deal breaker for you.

The Problem With Susan Isn't Actually A Problem

I'm about to start so much discourse in the Narnia fandom, but C.S. Lewis's choices with her in The Last Battle weren't misogynistic. Bear in mind, I'm not saying that all of his writing choices in the series were A++ or excusing away certain racist/sexiest bits, but it's honestly baffling to me that people are so up in arms over Susan's exclusion in the final book.

So the part that everyone loses their shit over is as follows:

"My sister Susan," answered Peter shortly and gravely, "is no longer a friend of Narnia."

"Yes," said Eustace, "and whenever you've tried to get her to come and talk about Narnia or do anything about Narnia, she says 'What wonderful memories you have! Fancy your still thinking about all those funny games we used to play when we were children.'"

"Oh Susan!" said Jill, "she's interested in nothing now-a-days except nylons and lipstick and invitations. She always was a jolly sight too keen on being grown-up."

"Grown-up, indeed," said the Lady Polly. "I wish she would grow up. She wasted all her school time wanting to be the age she is now, and she'll waste all the rest of her life trying to stay that age. Her whole idea is to race on to the silliest time of one's life as quick as she can and then stop there as long as she can."

The Last Battle, 83-84

There's a lot to unpack here and I first want to say that everyone's opinion on this part, no matter how different than mine, is valid. I'm going to be quoting some other ppl's opinions on here and by no means am I bashing them. I just want to address my feelings on the matter and the best way to do that is to cite the thoughts of ppl who have opposing ideas.

Here are some arguments on Tumblr I've heard regarding "The Problem of Susan":

"How about we talk about what might have happened if Narnia hadn't deserted Susan? [...] What if we didn't tell Susan she had to go grow up in her own world and then shame and punish her for doing just that? She was told to walk away and she went. She did not try to stay a child all her life, wishing for something she had been told she couldn't have again."

"Narnia is filled with metaphors (often not very subtle ones) that are supposed to teach us how to be, and the most glaring one for any young girl to absorb is that it's okay to be a girl like Lucy, unthreatening and cheerful and valiant and faithful, but to be a girl like Susan gets you punished - in fact, you aren't just punished, you're destroyed."

"why do we call it ‘the problem’ where’s the problem about a young woman dealing with her trauma and choosing her own path, actively making the choice to keep living and to stay and to carve a life out in England when her siblings couldn’t? what is the problem about susan forgetting to somehow cope with what she’s experienced? why is it ‘the problem of susan’ that she recontextualised her faith?"

And then there's JK Rowling who said this:

There comes a point where Susan, who was the older girl, is lost to Narnia because she becomes interested in lipstick. She's become irreligious basically because she found sex. I have a big problem with that.

It's weird how I'm still finding new ways to hate JKR in the year 2021. Again, there is absolutely zero implication that Susan had sex when she came back to England. ZERO. Did she actually read the books? IDK. If someone shares this opinion pls reply with actual canonical evidence.

Back on topic, I'm a firm believer of death of the author and interpreting art via your own experiences. Which is why I'm also going to share my own interpretation by saying y'all are wrong.

Susan Pevensie was not abandoned by Narnia. She was not barred from Narnia because she is traditionally feminine or because she "owned her sexuality" (another opinion I didn't have time to condense down for this post) or because she recontextualized her faith or even because she deserved to be punished.

I also fail to see how Susan recontexualized her faith, as the entire point of it all is that she has none. Bringing this back to Susan's fatal flaw (personal convenience/material comforts), her prioritizing herself over her own faith is the reason she is "no longer a friend of Narnia." Not...whatever fanon y'all are imposing on her character.

Susan is not being punished for liking lipstick and looking pretty. Susan's not even being punished. Y'all read Neil Gaiman's The Problem of Susan and forgot it wasn't canon.

There are many reasons Susan is not in Aslan's Country (one of them being that she's not actually dead yet), but the main one has to do with this:

"[...] But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.”

Voyage of the Dawn Treader, 215-216

Yeah, okay that's why Susan is no longer a friend of Narnia. The implication when the Pevensies are told that they can no longer enter Narnia is that they are to find Aslan in other places. Susan doesn't do this, instead choosing to focus her life on material things. It isn't the lipstick, it's that she only wants the lipstick.

Susan Had Sex In The Books

Oh and not in the context y'all are thinking. (Again, there are no implications that Susan was barred from Narnia for having sex or that she had sex when she came back to England.)

So there's actual canonical evidence that Susan and Rabadash had a sexual relationship. Sort of.

"What think you? We have been in this city fully three weeks. Have you yet settled in your mind whether you will marry this dark-faced lover of yours, this Prince Rabadash, or no?"

-The Horse and His Boy, 35

Edmund calls Rabadash her lover. Not her suitor. I don't know if the word had a different meaning in 1954, but it feels like C.S. Lewis is saying that they're fucking. I'm not really happy with the idea of Susan sleeping with an abuser, but really proud of her for Getting Some as a woman born in a time period where having premarital sex was a big no-no.

This also invalidates the weird opinion going on that Susan was barred from Narnia because she had sex.

Suspian Is The Worst

I haven't really talked about Movie!Susan much, but as long as we're talking unpopular opinions, it's worth noting that I hate Suspian. Some of it is the "Susan is Aro" headcanon screaming inside of me, but it's also the fact that it's written poorly, does nothing interesting for either character and generally comes across as awkward.

I feel like they were trying to make Prince Caspian sexy and relevant to teens. It came across as super heteronormative and unnecessary.

It also gets really really weird bc the next movie then gives Caspian and Edmund mad chemistry and we're all just like........ok.

Final Thoughts

Susan may not be my favorite character in the series, but she's grown on me over the years. I have many issues with fanon interpretations of her--which definately fueled some of my disdain for her initally--and I don't identify as a Susan Apologist.

I do however adore Susan and have many headcanons for her not mentioned here. I love reading fanfic, writing fanfic and meta, and generally having conversations about her and would love to talk more about it.

I welcome criticism (CONSTRUCTIVE) and conversation on all of my opinions and observations. Please drop into my inbox. <3

[mallowstep]

Hi, so I am a former pro shipper turned anti turned possible pro shipper again. Originally, I was a pro shipper bc I was shipping irl people (basically they were non famous adults I actually knew and I was publishing fanfic abt them without changing names and stuff). Then I kind of got a clue and stopped. I was getting made fun of a lot bc of that so I kind of became an anti (jumped on the RPF hate train, cancelled anyone people told me to, hated on ppl for problematic ships etc). 1/2

i'm gonna answer this all in one ask, but i'm going to respond part-by-part, to help my information-processing-challenged brain.

i do want to say: i'm sorry you got made fun of. i do think that publishing things about people you know irl without changing names is not okay, but i am sorry you got made fun of. that's not a helpful way to help someone understand that they're doing something wrong, and i'm sorry you went through that.

Anyways, I recently got into a fandom that a lot of people have tried to cancel/shame people for liking, and I’ve been re-examining a lot of my views. It’s tbh a little sad bc most of my friends (while not active in fandoms) have a super anti mindset and would definitely shamed me especially bc of my past if I mentioned this stuff. However, becoming a pro shipper again has been a long, tiring mental process of learning to accept people again and I really appreciate your account for being so 2/3

yeah, problematic fandoms. urgh. i don't want to get into discourse, because like. not trying to do that. but ever since steven universe got called a problematic fandom (what the FUCK guys), i haven't taken that sort of shit seriously. with like, two or three exceptions which i won't list here, because the whole point is to deplatform them so no one talks about them and listing them defeats the point (which is why problematic fandom arguments are so dumb and counterproductive holy shit i wouldn't have known XYZ even EXISTED if people weren't constantly trying to tell me it was bad), and even then it's more of a "i personally do not engage with that."

i try really hard not to judge other people on their interests. i'm a proud homestuck fan. i write warrior cats fanfiction, often about very adult topics. i get it.

when it comes to friends...i don't know if you want advice, so ignore this paragraph if you don't, but it might be worth putting feelers out. people can surprise you. it's up to you what you want to do about that, but frankly, i don't care what your ship opinions are. if you're against harassment, you can be my friend. (you might not want me to be your friend, but hey, that's your prerogative.)

anyway, yeah. i've gotten embroiled in online circles before and had to unpick beliefs from them. it's hard work, and my heart goes out to you. remember that the most important part is that you don't harass other people. i'm a firm believer in "i don't need you to accept me, i just need you to respect me." in other words, i'd rather deal with a homophobe who kept their mouth shut around gay people than an LGBT+ person who told me i couldn't call myself queer.

but i digress. it's hard work, and i hope it goes well for you.

Open to people who don’t label/people trying to become proshippers and stuff bc no matter how people irl treat me, I’ve always felt welcome here. Anyways, absolutely love your warriors stuff and thanks for having such a cool blog. 3/3

i'm glad you feel welcome here! i hope everyone does. i don't care what people call themselves. i'm here to have a good time, and anyone who wants to have a good time with me can.

this is my corner and i say ship discourse is dumb as hell. like sld;fksd;ajfk it's so dumb and not worth my time i've made an active choice to not bother arguing about it anymore. i was tempted to explain why it's dumb, but i'm not going to do that. it's not worth it.

wishing you the best.

<3

[justice4sasuke]

I’m sure Speedwagon being gay and in love with Jonathan is canon. I mean, it has to be intentional. He’s a confirmed bachelor, like, come on. Also, agree wrt part 5’s ages. I know it’s bc of the shonen demo being teen boys, but it being obsessed with making almost every character a minor and putting them in works that deal with themes that would be better suited for adults characters is one of my biggest pet peeves. Also agree about DioPucci. I am a Pucci slut and he deserves to be happy dammit

Araki heavily hints at a LOT of queer themes and I think based on how explicit things were in the part 5 anime it's very intentional. I'm glad we are at the point where we can show them more explicitly, but I do feel Araki was out here doing queer shit since the late 80s what with "Confirmed Bachelor" Speedwagon. I did read that in Araki's book on writing manga he talked about writing m/m romance. Can't remember the wording exactly and I haven't read it myself, but I believe it. Actually I'm looking at the book right now on Amazon and am very tempted to buy it for Kindle to confirm lmao.

I feel like all the other Jojo parts do much better with the age thing. Most other main characters are like 19. Jotaro is a bit young too, but at least he's 17 so almost an adult. Josuke and friends being 16 tracks because it's kind of slice of life and you see them going to school and stuff. But part 5 is like...most of them are underage and none of them go to school and they're all gangsters anyway. We never see Giorno in school and he lives by himself in a dorm? They all should have been in their early twenties and Giorno gets by by scamming tourists. Bruno and Abbacchio should be like 30. You're telling me Abbacchio graduated the police academy, became disillusioned, got his partner killed, quit and became an alcoholic, and got saved by Bruno by the time he was 20? You're killing me Araki.

(now is a good time to gas up One Piece, the ages for that skew older which I like. Luffy is 17 in the first part, 19 currently. The youngest is Chopper who is 15/17 and he's a reindeer so.)

Dio and Pucci's relationship no matter what it is is so endlessly fascinating to me. Dio really treats Pucci different from anyone else we see him with, bitch goes full philosopher around Pucci. I scream just thinking about the scene where Dio tries to get Pucci to take his disc out of him. The paneling on that one scene is exquisite. Also I'm a sucker for the southern gothic/creepy Christian imagery vibes those two give me. And I'm like yooo let's talk about this and then you try to look for stuff about them and it's like "TIME FOR DISCOURSE" time to be obtuse, time for a false sense of self-righteousness, time to not actually be helpful to children or survivors, time to prove we don't actually understand why something is bad. And I'm just like...I just wanted to talk about two characters...