#i really really hope we're trapped underground for a bit

[ihavedonenothingright]

I have nothing insightful to offer, but when Aonuma said, "Imagine you're stuck in a cage," my first thought was "YES, stealth escape mission."

[sage-is-in-fact-very-tired]

uh. nothing is neurotypical about this post <3

[Word Count, for everyone's reference because we all know my habits - 1,526]

The framing of Icarus’ shots. The framing of all of the shots but we're starting at the beginning and *mmmm* the framing of Icarus’. Them being front and center, the light being purple, their wings being out and *big*, their desk being behind them, *their scars.* The way you can *see* Icarus’ lightning scars but it is so much harder to notice with all of their things (makes sense why no one really noticed them.) Just the entire way they act during their segments. *mmmm*

Icarus having the lines about having friends on the other side makes me go bonkers - because they *do.* the whole bit is at the end of Fable, they had Midas on their side - they had *the person in the Worldport*, the person *on the other side*, on *their* side.

Midas having “I find delight in the gruesome and grim” like. Something about how despite the fact they're decaying and their realm is falling apart and their family is dead - they can still find time to mess with Icarus and fuck around and have *hope* that Icarus will make the right choice and. *mmmm.*

Cedar having the line about putting a spell on [someone] makes me giggle - potion lad makes potions and *literally* puts spells and things on people. (Also Cedar's freckles??? I love them??? I hold them so gently??? They look so pretty in this shot, I love this so much-)

Caine having the “be prepared” line is so. Mans fights *so much* and does so many things that involve fighting - it almost feels like a taunt? you know, telling their opponent to be prepared for [the future] or something. (This does immediately follow Icarus saying how he can read [someones] future.)

Sherwood has the line about “trusting [them]” they're a pirate lad and they cause *trouble* and well, if you've just arrived somewhere or you're trying to convince someone - only makes sense you'd ask them to trust you.

Ripley has the poor unfortunate souls line and rah rah rah - they are a ghost and they're silly and I love them and. They are a soul <3

Helix's part is wonderful - because like. something about just how the game of among us works and how you *should be* scared and worried and on your toes - also importer Helix <3

Ajax Ajax Ajax Ajax - look at them and their silly area and *mmmm.* Their *introduction* being “beware take care he rides alone” hurts me personally because that's what Ajax has always intended to do; ride alone. They planned not to make attachments - but they still *did.* And then the lines they speak being "this vampire bat, this inhuman beast, he ought to be locked up and never released" is so. Something about hurting people over and over and over again throughout the events and something about becoming someone everyone fears and wants dead and something about the *box,* and the needing to be inside during storms, and being *trapped* underground for a whole season.

Oh Ripley. “He swears to the longest day he's dead.” Yeah cause they are. Blorbo is dead. They are g h o s t. ghost guy. They're dead. They died. Of course they'd swear they're dead-

Ashril ashril ashril - not being normal about any of ashril's parts. “The world was such a wholesome place until..” guys guys we know ashril *did something* and it was a mistake and they had to run and *mmmmm.* It was good, they were living, they had a family and a life, *until they did **that*** and then they didn't anymore and.

Sherbert's “He had a plan to shake things up, and that's the gospel truth” This line is really ambiguous, but the thing that most immediately comes to mind is Sherbert's letter they write to Icarus, and leave in the stream room. Trying to stop Ic and get them back on the right path. (Also can i just say Sherbert looks so pretty in this shot??? Like they look pretty in all the shots really but the outside shots *especially*)

Reo having the lines about hellfire and their being fire in them - fighting boy goes and does fighting things and is okay with it and likes doing it and. Something about adrenaline or something.

Rina. oh the lyrics on Rina's part. "Yes it is he, but not as you know him. Read my lips, and come to grips with reality” while their eye is bleeding *and* while they're gesturing at the computer - which, might I add, has Icarus on it (doing the other parts of the song), and while they are wearing the same hoodie as Reo. Something about how once their eye started bleeding they had to come to terms with the idea that oh shit, all of this is *real* - This thing that *I made* is so very real. And, I guess if you really wanted to look at the first part of that - the idea that the first time their eye was bleeding was because Icarus was there. “Him” being Icarus, but obviously he wasn't in their body, he was in Rina's and. Yeah. Very normal about this part. (Also the way its framed???? Guys it's such a pretty shot??? And the way they spin the goggles???? Biting it nothing on it eating it whole /pos)

Icarus having the lines about changing, and how they're doing it??? Sobbing. Something about how Icarus is always changing and always going through something and it's never been completely *them* and-

Krit krit - they're just a little lad <3 They have the crab from Moana's part and I hold that so gently. I don't have thoughts about Krit's part they're just happy and they are crab and them <333 guys I love krit so much I cry about them so often /pos

Cedar has love is an open door and I. They are in love with the herb lady. They love Azalea. They have a *very big* crush on her - and they also have no rizz - I love them for that <3

Guys it's Ashril again. Guys it's ashril again and I'm trying so hard to be normal but oh my gosh Ashril having the line “But they guzzle up the things you prize” is so. Guys Ashril is running from something and it's not pretty and they've been *hurt* before (gestures at the scar that I think so much about often)

Icarixis having “I hope you're satisfied” guys *Icarixis having I hope you're satisfied.* Because this is what they've worked for for months and years - to be able to fix everything and to be able to make it all work out in the end and. *mmmm* “But if you ain't, don't blame me.” Something about how they'd blame Midas - the Quixis before them, or something.

Okay three people have the “Don't forget it” line - in order being Sherbert, Ripley, Ashril. Something about how all three of them have something they so desperately want to remember. Sherbert in a time where they could die freely and weren't confined to a world. Ripley of a time when they were alive. And Ashril of, well, their brother.

And then Helix gets the “You'll regret it” because imposter and murder and Among Us things - they're simply just a guy /pos

the next few lines are all them commenting on the land and things - which feel pretty self explanatory. I will say oh my gosh the Reo cosplay gives me so much gender envy and for what. Sherbert you look so ahhhhh /pos

Caine having “As a specimen yes I'm intimidating” because of course they do - they're a fighter boy who got strength but also they have Asshole Rizz[™] hence the specimen comment, or something. Caine is simply silly goofy-

Sherbert's part Sherbert's part *Sherbert's part* - “You got what you wanted - but you lost what you had!” Cen refer to both Icarus and Sherbert; but Sherbert *specifically* for the moment. Just - they got want they wanted, Sherb. Their world was back to normal and no longer decaying and sure they had to fix the wack but it's not longer spreading - but also they can't immediately go back to what they had. They can't go back to the infinite dying - they lost that. They may have gotten what they wanted with Icarus, Quixis - but they still lost *so much.* And then Icarus shush-ing them??? silly guys doing silly things-

(And the Icarus idea of this line, if you see it as Sherb telling it to Ic, or whatever else you can see it as - they got what they wanted, being able to fix it all and make up for everything they did; but they lost their family and their life and *themself* in the process. They can't get it back.)

Yeah, anyway. There's you CMV thoughts - definitely just a love letter to my love of all the sherbs and sherbs cmvs and their editing and *everything.* I love this cmv so much and I have very many thoughts and oh my gosh a couple of those frames my artist brain *really* wants to draw because they're so pretty-

Sherbert if you're reading this, you're really cool <3

[cosmicjoke]

Hi again,

I haven't had time to organize my thoughts coherently so this might be a bit disorganized, apologies in advance lol.

We all know that Levi takes it upon himself in the AOT universe to be responsible for the lives of others, probably because he's the only one who has the strength he does. But does Levi ever expect others to want to care about their fellow humans' lives (especially those in power)? His own value of life might be so obvious to him, so would he expect others to share his value of life? Whether in AOT universe or in the modern world (if he did live in our modern world and didn't have the superhuman strength he does). I mean, in AOT universe, it's clear he can singlehandedly make significant contributions to saving the lives of others, but in the modern world, most of us obviously just aren't that physically strong and/or have very little actual power or authority on our own to help those who are oppressed, victimized, killed even...in the modern world, it's really a collective effort. Our strength is in numbers. So i guess my question is, would Levi hold that expectation of others in the modern world? Like, what if he was placed in a situation where he didn't have the superhuman strength he does, and has to rely on the goodwill and cooperation and *desire to help* of others in order to help people. He values life immensely, but it's also clear that he realizes that perfect peace in humanity is an unachievable ideal, right? Like human violence against other humans has always been and will always be a thing, both in his universe and ours. So while he probably expects that there will always be people who just want to harm their fellow humans, does he also always expect there to be people who want the opposite?

If he *does* hold that expectation for others, do you think he feels disappointment when he is inevitably let down, and he comes face to face over and over again with the fact that some other people simply do not care for fellow human lives? Or does he just set his expectations for others so low that he thinks it's a default for people to behave in that way? And whenever he does meet someone else who values life as much as he does, it's more like just a pleasant bonus rather than a given?

hopefully any of that word vomit made sense lol

These are great questions you're asking me, haha! So first, let me just say thank you. I really enjoy this sort of conversation about Levi.

It's interesting about Levi, because while he has this great strength, and he utilizes it the best he can to help others, he's still faced, more often than not, with sort of his own sense of helplessness. He often isn't able to save as many lives as he wants to, or make as much change as he hopes. He said something along those lines to Hitch, during the Uprising arc, when she was criticizing the SC for getting so many people killed in Trost while trying to capture Annie. He said "Hmph... It makes me sick. We're all in the dark when it comes to how this world works. Other than the ones in the very center, of course..." So I think, even within the setting of the AoT universe, Levi still feels pretty powerless, the same as he would if he lived in a modern world and didn't have his Ackerman powers. I think that's also pretty evident post time skip, after they've lost Erwin. Levi sees himself as a tool, as a weapon to be wielded by others. That's what he views his strength as good for. For Levi, Erwin was the person he sort of relied on to utilize that strength to its maximum potential, and when he lost Erwin, I think Levi felt a definite sense of directionlessness. He wasn't sure anymore how to use his strength to help others, even as the desire to do so remained just as strong. I think it was similar to how Levi felt when he was living in the Underground. He wanted to help people, but there wasn't much he could actually do. He was trapped in poverty and desperation with everyone else down there, and being physically powerful, while it can help in some things, isn't going to do much when we're talking about social inequality or oppression. Isayama said that Levi came to the surface because he wanted to help people, something he realized he was able to do after Furlan and Isabel came into his life; but his circumstances and status Underground limited his options. He didn't have citizenship, for one thing, so he couldn't officially join any sort of service branch, like the military. So I think Levi was always very familiar, even with his exceptional physical strength, with this feeling of helplessness and powerlessness, and a sense of being unable to do much to help others, despite his desperate wish to.

So, going into what you asked about Levi's expectations of others in that regard, I think Levi definitely WANTS people to care about others and to have the same level of respect and sense of value for life that he does. But that doesn't necessarily mean he expects them to be able to protect life or help others in the same capacity that he does. In fact, I think Levi understands and is sympathetic toward people not being able to do much to improve theirs or others circumstances. During his speech to the 104th during the Uprising arc, he speaks about choosing the hell of people killing each other over the hell of being eaten by titans. What he means by that is that he wants people to have a choice. As things stood then, the people of the walls were essentially living in a giant prison. They were trapped and had no options, no freedom, no choice in how they lived or where they went, and through no fault of their own, through no action on their part. It was just how they were born, the circumstances they were born into. So, yes, while Levi definitely understands and is accepting of human nature, of the violence inherent to human nature, and while I think he understands more keenly than anyone the tragedy and inescapability of that reality, he also believes the way people live should be up to them, and he prefers them having that choice, even if it manifests in violence and killing each other, to them having no choice at all and still dying. He calls both realities hell, but the hell in which people get to at least have a say in what happens to them is better than things happening to them which they have no control over.

Levi himself grew up in an environment which left him with no option but to rely on violence in order to survive. So yeah, I think he definitely understands that sometimes people just don't have a choice and that they can't always do the "good" or "right" thing, according to society, depending on the circumstances. He understands that sometimes you need to kill in order to protect yourself or others. He understands that sometimes you need to steal in order to survive. A lot of the characters in AoT look at morality as a static concept, through a black and white lends. They categorize things in two ways, good and bad, and there is no in between. Levi is one of the only characters that understands the fallacy of that premise. Morality isn't static. It's on a sliding scale and it's complex. What's good and bad, what's right and wrong, depends on the circumstances, depends on the situation. It's not always wrong to kill someone. It's not always wrong to steal. It's not always wrong to use violence. It doesn't always define a person's morality or reflect on their worth as a person if they do something which, within normal society, would be considered "bad" or "illegal". I always talk about how Levi is probably the least judgmental character in AoT, along with probably Armin. Levi never tries to tell anyone what to do or what they should think or believe. He always lets other people come to their own conclusions and choices.

With that said, what I do think Levi wouldn't be accepting of and what would really disgust him in another person is a total disregard for life. And that's why Levi hates Zeke as much as he does. Because Zeke shows, repeatedly, not just a deliberate disregard for life, but he also repeatedly expresses actual pleasure in the taking of it. We see Levi express similar disdain for Eren after the raid on Liberio, when he compares Eren's actions to the scum he grew up with in the Underground. What we know from this is that Levi no doubt witnessed a lot of blatant disregard for life while growing up, a lot of people treating the lives of others as worthless, taking life without needing to, just because they felt like it or because they simply didn't care and were apathetic toward other people's lives, and we also know it's something Levi has always felt disgusted by. So while I think Levi is both sympathetic and empathetic toward people not always being able to act and help others, and also toward them sometimes having to engage in certain types of behavior and actions that society would generally frown upon, what I think he wouldn't forgive and would be extremely judgmental toward is deliberate cruelty, dismissiveness and a contempt shown toward life and what he believes is its inherent value. I think, to Levi, that's unforgivable. So while Levi understands the reality that there will always be people who deliberately want to harm others, and who take pleasure in harming others, that doesn't mean he has to like it or forgive it. He accepts that violence is just a part of the world and a part of human nature, and he accepts and even forgives that people are sometimes forced to violence. What he won't forgive is intentional cruelty and disregard shown toward life.

So I think Levi probably is disappointed in the sense that he wishes things could be better, that people could be better in general, while at the same time acknowledging that this is just the way people are and there's nothing he can really do about it. I don't think he necessarily has low expectations, but I think he's always ready to be faced with the ugly side of human behavior. But still, he'll determine the worth of a person's character based on how much respect they have toward life, I think. Again, if someone shows a blatant disregard for life, or shows they don't value life in a truly meaningful way, Levi's not going to think very much of that person. We see that demonstrated in his disgust, also, for the nobility and their greed and selfishness in how they treat the general populace.

[fandomwe1rd0]

Wrote a fic about the ending of Auto Erotic Assimulaton!

TW for attempted suicide and suicidal thoughts under the cut!

Unity just dumped me. I really couldn't just be happy, could I? I couldn't just stay happy. I could get something close to that feeling for a little bit, only to get it ripped away. God, I was stupid. Of course I couldn't be happy. Happiness was a trap. I knew this well.

I went back to Beth's house. I walked in the living room "Hey." I was about to walk put but then Beth said "Dad." My stomach churned as I forced myself to look at her. Beth cleared her throat "Well uh Jerry..." Jerry gave her a disapproving shake of the head. Fucking parasite. As if his unemployed ass should have any say in what Beth does.

Beth took a deep breath "Jerry and I were looking for our weed whacker and found your subterranean lair...anddd your alien prisoner..anddd heeeeee got away...soo...I'm sorry to say this but uhmm..."

Beth fiddled with her hands and Jerry put a hand around her shoulder and smiled. Beth held onto his hand with a meak smile. Gross. She then took another breath and said "I..I can't keep sacrificing this family's safety just because I think- because I'm afraid you'll leave again so...no more alien prisoners under any circumstance and underground work without consulting us." I shrugged. I wasn't going to be here anyway so I didn't really give a shit "Okay." Jerry's eyes widened and Beth blinked "Okay..? That it's..you won't leave me again and never come back..." I shook my head, it wasnt a lie, I was going to kill myself instead.

The voice in my head laughed bitterly "Finally. You deserve it anyway."

It was right.

"It's your house." I said. Beth smiled and giggled "Great! Thanks Dad!" Beth gave me a hug and I tensed up. "You don't deserve this. She wouldn't love you if she knew what a big piece of shit you are. You complain about Jerry being a parasite but you're the exact same thing."

Beth stopped hugging me and still had a smile on her face. I began walking and Summer stopped me, she was always the more perspective one "Wait! Grandpa what happened with Unity?"

"Tell her you got dumped. Let her know what a big piece of shit her dear old grandpa is."

I can't.

"Coward."

"Well y'know Summer we're talking about an entity that thrives on enslavement..it's not cool."

"Oh don't act like you developed morals now, go and kill yourself already."

"Fun's fun but who needs it?"

"Kill yourself. Do it."

Fine. I chose my last words to them "I'll be in the garage." I took one last look at Morty. He was looking at me with those dumb wide doe eyes and his lips slightly parted "He won't miss you. He hates you. He'll be happy when you're gone." I turned my back on him and went to the garage.

I went to my workbench. I must have something in here that can finish the job. Wait. I knew exactly what to do. I opened the cupboard and found a laser. Perfect. This will turn me into ash. They won't feel any pity for me. I don't need it. I want them to think I left Beth. To see me as the asshole I am. I hope they have nothing good to say about me. What would they say anyway? I've been nothing but an asshole to them.

"You're right about one thing. Smartest man in the universe and you're only right about how big of an asshole you are."

I got an alien blob. I needed to test it. I put it under the laser. I poured orange liquid that would sync up every timeline on it and it started crying. In constant pain. I get it. I patted it, both creatures in constant pain, wanting to die. I had more in common with this alien blob than most. I attempted to comfort it but it just kept crying.

"As if anyone would be comforted by a wrinkly bastard like you."

Ha.

It was right.

I put it under the laser and it discentgrated. Perfect. I drank the liquid myself and sat in front of it. I closed my eyes waiting for it. This was going to be it. The end to my suffering. The end to infecting everything around me. A part of me was miserable, but there was never a part of me that wasn't. But the other part of me was strangely at peace. I think. I didn't know how that felt. It's been a while since I felt anything positive. The closest I got to being happy recently is Unity. And we all know how that went.

But at least I would stop ruin the lives of people around me. My family...they'll be fine. They already have Jerry, they don't need another leech.

I'm sure they'll be fine. Definitely.

"Of course they'll be fine. They'll be better than fine. They won't have a useless old man continually putting them in danger and making everyone else miserable just because since he can't be happy"

It was right.Either way it was too late to turn back now.The laser started up, and then I saw black and felt my head hit against the cold metal of the table.

I was awoken by a shaking on my shoulder. "Eugh what...?"

I saw Morty.

Shit.

It didn't work.

I didn't say anything and eventually Morty spoke "Rick...I saw what you were trying to do..." I stayed quiet "Rick...I saw that you tried to ki-" "Just go away Morty. It's none of your business." "Yes it is! You're my grandpa! It's all of my business!" "Just go!" "No!" I growled and grabbed onto his collar "You stubborn little shit!" Morty glared daggers through me "I wonder who I get it from." I gritted my teeth and threw him outside of the lab. He dove into my chest before I could shut the door. "I'm not leaving you!" I shoved him off of me "What's your problem?! You fucking suicide bomber!" "Says you!" I growled and shoved him, he slid across the floor."Look at you throwing a kid around like a ragdoll 10/10 person. How the hell were you a father?"I dont fucking know. "Leave or I'll make you leave." I hissed through clenched teeth. Morty looked down "You're just as selfish as always..." "He's right you dickhead." My fucking inner voice wouldn't shit up."How is me trying to fucking kill myself selfish?!"

"What would I do if you were gone!?"

"He'd be better of without you anyway." My inner voice sneered.

"You're overreacting you'd be ok!"

"No I would not! You're all I have!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?!"

"You're my only friend..." Morty cracked out, his voice shaky "I...I can't lose you..." I stayed quiet and put my head on my workbench, turning away from him. "Look, you don't need me. You'll eventually be fine.."

Just then I felt a pressure around me and tensed up, I looked to the side and saw Morty hugging me with tears in his eyes "Don't leave me..." "You don't deserve him. You're a shitty grandpa. You're not even his grandpa. This is Prime's grandson remember."Oh how could I forget with you so courteously bringing it up? Not like that was a fact I would want to forget, oh no. It's not like I'd want to forget that the only thing that consistently makes me feel closest to what normal people call happy is the grandson of the man who ruined my life. I would say he made me who I am today. But that wasn't true. It wasn't his fault I was a piece of shit. Well, at least not entirely. "You're a piece of shit because that's just who you are. You're broken, you can't be fixed. You can't be happy. You don't deserve it."I clenched my fist. I didn't say anything, and I just let Morty continue hugging me. Every minute felt like hours. I knew I didn't deserve this. But I just wanted to let myself have this. Even for just a little. I would remove Morty's memory of this. I don't want his pity. "He just feels bad for you. You got mad at Jerry for using pity to lure in his victims but you are doing the same exact shit."Why do you think I'll remove his memory of this brainiac?"Don't get mad at me just because I'm the only one that acknowledges how shitty you are. No wonder why nobody loves you. Who would love a pathetic old man like you?"My grip on my other arm became white knuckled. I shook Morty off of me and he looked at me confused then rubbed arm. "R-Rick...I know we don't really do 'love' but..."Don't. "I.."Don't you fucking dare."Lo-""Shut up!" I didn't realize that I screamed that out until I saw Morty flinch."You don't deserve to be loved."I know! I know I'm a fucking piece of shit that doesn't deserve it! Why do you think I told Morty to shut up?!

Morty blinked

"But Rick I..."

"Don't."

"I-"

"Please."

Morty stayed quiet. Then eventually spoke

"Please promise me that you won't do something like that again..."

"Why the fuck do you care?"

"Because I love you!"

"Don't fucking say that!" I growled out.

"Well it's true! Just promise me you won't do that again! Promise me!"

"Morty I can't-"

"Please!"

Slience fell over the room like a blanket. Well I was going to erase his memory anyway. I took the memory eraser out of my labcoat."Okay."I pointed it towards him."I promise."And with a click of a button and a white flash. His memory was erased.

[gornackeaterofworlds]

Posting to expand on just what my au is/what's going on. It's not simply a human remake, though it did start out that way. Chronologically:

Draxum hates humanity. That much is canonical to the show. But where it diverges in my au is his process of making mutants. Instead of taking animals and mixing their DNA with people(Lou specifically), he took "abandoned" human eggs to mix with Lou's DNA to form an embryo and *then* mix it with animal DNA. However, after doing the Lou portion first is when Yoshi was able to break free, taking the test tube babies with him. So they weren't able to be mutated, and neither was he.

The age differences went like this: Draxum used Raph's egg as a test to see if it worked. Once the embryo stabilized, he then did Donnie and Leo, and a few months into their incubation was Mikey. He had been waiting until they were born babies to mix them with animal DNA, but due to his ignorance on baby care Raph had a sickly period and the entire thing was shoved off.

How did they not recognize their father as Lou Jitsu? He's old! In my au he was Lou from age 20 to 28, trapped in the battle nexus until age 34/35, and then it's another 13 years until his sons find out he's Lou Jitsu. So he definitely looks different. And that's intentional, on his part. He was wanted by not only Draxum but Big Mama, and thus the entire Hidden City authorities on her payroll. He grew out his hair, restyled it, dressed much less flashy. And raising 4 sons all alone as a criminal put some greys in his hair, for sure.

Are there still mutants in the au? Of course! That entire aspect is the same, minus the fact the boys and Splinter are mutants. Though, because of their whole "we're the children of two presumably dead people and also live in the sewers", they're just as tolerant. Also, Piebald is a mutant still.

Who is their mother/egg donor? An original character named Cyra Raheem. She was a founder and data analyst for a software development company, which is a fancy legal way of saying she was a "hacker". She'd stored and frozen her eggs in the hope that she'd one day have the free time for children, but disappeared sometime shortly after Lou Jitsu was taken into yhe Battle Nexus. The eggs stayed frozen for a few years after, until Draxum sought a maternal "donor", and her past high status in illegal spaces caught his attention. Finding out she had eggs in cryopreservation was a treat, really.

What happened to Cyra? She was looking into Big Mama(who she thought was human) after Lou went missing, by request of Sho, and when BM caught wind of it, Cyra went missing for quite a few years.... And who knows what happened to her in that time?(I do. I know)

Why are they in the sewers if they're human? As previously mentioned, both Cyra and Lou are considered legally dead. The boys' existences are unexplainable to the average person. And Yoshi is wanted by BM and her police force, which can and do roam the surface. Just to be safe, he kept them underground.

How'd they meet April? The same way I consider their meeting in the show, which is basically PHEEBS fic. But obviously Leo isn't kidnapped as a giant turtle spectacle, so in this it's a bit darker..he was kidnapped for human trafficking reasons because of his "unique"(barf) skin and eyes.

If they're not turtles, how will they withstand the fights? Uhh.. fiction magic...? They do the same stunts they would in the show and everything, but as humans they'd get hurt significantly worse. So a mix of fiction magic and unseen recovery periods.

How can they take blows to their back that a shell would protect? See above question.

What's the equivalent to Donnie's shell being weaker/softer? A few things, actually. More sensitive skin and nerves on his back, for starters. His mother, with more widespread/"stronger" vitiligo, had a few other health issues/autoimmune disorders. Donnie unfortunately inherited them: mild rheumatoid arthritis and symptoms of multiple sclerosis(mainly affecting his eyes, bones, and balance).

What happens to the turtles left behind? Draxum hadn't bought them yet! So no turtles were harmed in the destruction of the lab

And as for anything in the future or plot related, I can't/won't answer..

[idle-flower]

Dear Yuletide Author - 2024

Thank you for your time and attention, and I hope your wishes are granted this holiday season!

Likes:

I prefer plot and angst and adventure to fluff, though a nice warm fluffy scene can make a good dessert at the end of the pain and suffering. I lean more to f/f and m/f than m/m. I enjoy forbidden relationships. I love exploring the 'what if' spinoffs of a small change in a canon. I swoon for lovers who take dramatic risks to protect their loved ones.

I also enjoy detailed description of clothing/furniture/jewelry/pretty things in general. Not just heaping up brand names, but sensory detail.

Dislikes:

Please avoid sweeping tropey AUs like 'what if noir' or 'what if everyone was in high school'. No excited rambling about pregnancy or babies. (Older kids are okay.) While I am okay with pretty dark stuff, please don't gorily torture characters to death on screen. If people gotta die, limit the details! I am generally not keen on crossovers. I dislike PWP unless it is exceedingly hot smut (see below). Please don't do gender/sexuality swaps unless I specifically mention it as an option

Smut:

I certainly don't expect it, but I do read a good bit of filthy porn. So if you actually want to go there…

Kinks I find interesting: mild bdsm, pain mixed with pleasure, dubcon, sibling or cousin incest, strap-ons (for f/f not for f/m), futanari and other magical appendages (also generally for f/f, unless we're in a setting where 'man turns out to have tentacles' actually makes sense), teasing, teenagers, drugs/magic with interesting effects, people making terrible decisions due to being emotionally overwrought or really really horny, trying to stay quiet and failing, overwhelming desire, struggling against programming or social expectations, biting that marks but doesn't break the skin (unless vampires), just barely losing control

DO NOT WANT: rape or painful sex that one party is not enjoying at all, inserting anything edible (licking off boobs is okay), aggressive face-fucking, choking, degradation, scat/watersports, bukkake, parental incest, anyone younger than teen, anyone being called "baby girl", emphasis on 'virgin blood' (some writers make it a huge deal with tearing pain and fountains of blood, please don't).

NOTE FOR TREATS:

Absolutely fine with people getting inspired by my ideas and doing whatever! I don’t know if we have to actively say this this year but yeah if you want to have a go, sure.

Jet Lag: The Game (Web Series)

Sam, Adam, Ben

The canon: Free on YouTube for the most part - While there are many seasons, if you're starting from scratch you're probably best off looking at one of the Tag seasons. Try Tag Eur It 2. Or whatever you like, but the Tag seasons are easy to understand and involve just the main three boys. The entirety of Tag 2 will take about 3 hours to complete but you'll get the idea faster than that.

What I like about the show: fun travel facts, seeing cool places, amusing challenges, clever plans which can go awry in unexpected ways, strategy, tension, friendship moments.

What I want to add for spice: peril, angst, and potentially-tragic bromance.

Basically, please whump these boys up with all the insane over-the-top drama that should never actually happen in the real game. Put them in life-or-death situations. Hunted by men for sport, FOR REAL. Trying to pull someone up who's fallen off a cliff/edge/something in a panic that you'll lose them. (Especially in New Zealand where there was apparently legitimate danger of Ben falling off a cliff at one point). Pressed to make horrible decisions about whch friend to help. Cracking jokes to try and keep spirits up while secretly dying. Defusing a bomb. Tending wounds. Rescuing each other from death-traps. Nearly drowning. Pursued by a bear. Trapped in an underground labyrinth with no cell signal. Stranded in a blizzard and trying not to freeze. One kidnapped or mistaken for a spy and hauled off for interrogation while the others frantically search for them. Holding an injured partner's hand and desperately trying to keep him awake and talking in dire circumstances. Declarations of how much they mean to each other when they think all hope is lost.

I would prefer it if you did this with archive warnings off and keep the tension up so I don't know if they're all going to survive this or not. Maybe they pull through, or maybe only one of them is left standing, mourning over the corpses of the others. We'll find out at the finish line. I accept the risk of heartbreak! (You can't tell me you don't want a "Buddy please, please wake up…" in your life) I like poignant pain; I also like happy endings and they're happier if they're a surprise. Seriously, I go both ways.

If the above is too dark for you, I'm also okay with a new travel adventure - set anywhere. They play Jet Lag in a video game world. In a book world. In your hometown. Whatever. Describe some interesting new sights and scenery and tell me the quirky challenges they do there and how they outsmart each other and have some big hugs when they win and I'll probably have a good time.

IF YOU WANT TO SHIP IT: Ben/Adam, Sam/Ben, or Sam/Ben/Adam, but not Sam/Adam alone. But shipping is definitely not a requirement. Intense friendship is good!

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE SMUT: Please, no explicit sex for this request. Hugs and touches and a kiss on the head and deep feelings are fine. Contrived suggestive scenarios (mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, gotta get your wet clothes off so you don't freeze, cuddling for warmth, There Is Only One Bed in the rest location) are also fine. I enjoy the ambiguous edge of is-this-romantic-or-isn't-it? (romantic friendship, the kind of subtext where the characters act like everything is normal with zero angst about it and the audience thinks this is the shippiest thing ever) so feel free to push that tension hard. (But if you really want them to make out I'm not going to object, just as long as it doesn't get into E territory.)

DNW: Sex. Fluff. A story totally focused on shipping without plot/action. Sexual violence or any threat of sexual violence.

TREAT ONLY: if you're here for wrapping paper i would LOVE art of Ben baking cookies, or Ben and Adam cuddling in an adorable besties way. All my "fluff is boring" comments? DO NOT APPLY to art. CUTE ME.

Exiles Saga

Felice Landry

The canon: It's a four book series so that's probably a bit much to take in if you haven't already read it.

I am recklessly drawn to poor broken Felice and want to see a story where she gets to be more than the boogeyman.

The nicey-nice version: What if she meets a woman who can both love and challenge her (a hybrid who sympathises with the lowlives? A Firvulag woman? Something else? Feel free to make up OCs) and comes to operancy through the emotional trauma of being known rather than Culluket's tortures? What would a happy Felice be like? (And if she WASN'T driven to the madness necessary to pop the cork and flood the plain, what would happen to everyone else? Or would she still do it, to disrupt the Tanu power structures, but possibly with a little more planning?)

The not-so-nice version: What if Felice and Aiken swap places in the story? What if, instead of hiding her light and retreating with the slaves to plot rebellion, Felice impresses the Tanu with her power and insists on the full rights and respect of a man, traveling to the capitol to eventually challenge the High King herself? Felice would certainly not agree to sex with the Thagdal but depending on her powers of creativity she might not have to - THAT might be what causes her to issue the Shape Of Fire challenge, rather than the need to protect Stein and Sukey. Her right to own herself. And after Aiken, as a great jest, brings the ocean crashing in, what if Felice ends up married to Mercy? (Mercy would certainly be terrified of her, and thus highly passionate!) A Felice whose talents for violence are embraced and applauded by the Tanu could become a terrible witch-queen indeed…

Felice/Mercy has potential to be extremely hot and to go spectacularly wrong in many ways. Mercy could drive her mad with 'love'. They could come to true alliance and make each other even worse. Or they could fall into a small Unity with a third (Elizabeth?) to become the Triple Goddess…

I generally don't want to hear about pregnancy/babies but if you're doing Felice/Mercy it is okay to touch lightly on a version of her canon pregnancy, just don't make "yay babies" a major focus.

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE SMUT: go for it as long as you note my DNWs (see the smut-specific ones up top)

DNW: Felice/any man, including Culluket, I want an AU where that never happened. Felice/Amerie. The books vaguely hint that Felice's parents were abusive, I would rather not see explicit details of anything horrible happening to a child. If Mercy is pregnant, DNW abortion/miscarriage.

Picnic at Hanging Rock (2018 TV Miniseries)

Hester Appleyard, Sara Waybourne

The canon: It's six hour-long episodes. May be streamable on Amazon Prime?

Note: I have not read the book or seen the 1975 movie, I've only seen the miniseries. You can draw ideas from other versions if you want but you'll have to explain what you're talking about or I may not get the reference.

First off, TV Sara is the cutest thing and I want to protect her (and, well, THAT obviously didn't work out). Second, I feel like the relationship between Hester and Sara is interestingly ambiguous (what isn't, in this show?). Hester seems both antagonistic and friendly to Sara in different ways, and it seems clearly suggested that she's reminded of her own orphan past. She sometimes wants to bond with her and othertimes wants to furiously reject her. She fears that Sara knows far too much, and she's tempted to tell her more.

The circumstances of Sara's death are very unclear, though we see that Hester knows something and is covering it up. What happened between them on that final night? Did Hester push Sara out in a rage? Did they struggle, up in the tower on a windy night, and a careless shove let Sara fall? Did Hester try to save her? Did Sara leap from the tower in despair? Did Sara try to climb out to escape and fall? How did Hester find out that Sara was dead, and why did she choose to deal with it in the way she did (pretending Sara had left but not disposing of the body)? What was she thinking? Or did she truly convince herself Sara had just 'disappeared' like the other girls?

So things that I'd be particularly interested in, storywise:

A depiction of the details and the drama of that final, fatal night Any scene in which they really open up to each other and share secrets we didn't see in the series (which might or might not end with Hester threatening Sara to shut her up) AU in which Hester adopts Sara herself and trains her to follow in her footsteps? Possibly where she uses Sara as a bridge to marry Mr Cosgrove? (Dark and mysterious things should still happen, just DIFFERENT ones) AU in which it's Hester who falls to her death after their last confrontation in the tower. Sara lives! But she might be suspected of murder, especially if for some reason Hester named her in the will and left her the school. What happens to the school and Sara now?

Angst and drama are likely. Killing either or both characters is fine. Depictions of self-harm and child abuse consistent with the series are fine, but tag it. No sexual abuse please.

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE SMUT: Not with each other! In keeping with the style of the show, some light sexual scenes might work well for filling in character info (what IS hester's sexuality anyway? If Sara Lives, how does she eventually move on from Miranda?) but this is not a kink request.

DNW: Hester/Sara slash. A super-happy fix-it fic. This is a dark canon, so I'm okay with the threat of someone being pruriently interested in Sara or young Hester, but I absolutely don't want anyone to do anything sexual to Sara while she's underage. It's okay to imply that young Hester might have been molested or prostituted but I don't want to see it happen in detail.

Poison Ivy (1992 film)

Sylvie Cooper, Ivy

The canon: It's a movie about an hour and a half long (there are different cuts with more/less skin). I don't think it's currently streaming anywhere but someone uploaded it to the internet archive, assuming that comes back up from the DDOS...

I was struggling through the confusions of puberty, Ivy was hot, this film left an impression on me. More than it necessarily deserves, because while the elements I remember best are compelling, they're a much smaller part of the film than they should be... In a way trying to build any sort of happy ending for Ivy feels out of place, but on the other hand there's a lot of loose ends left after the story.

Throughout the film, there's a lot the audience never knows about Ivy, including her legal name. Did Coop know it? (Maybe, probably.) Did her father? (Quite possibly not). How do they handle all the legal responsibilities of her death? Were Ivy's stories about the aunt she was staying with true? How do they break the news? How does her funeral go?

What do Sylvie and her father have to say to each other about Ivy after the truth comes out? Does he admit everything that he did? (The movie seems to let him off way too easily by implying things are all Ivy's fault, when he ABSOLUTELY knew how wrong his actions were) How does he handle the guilt? How do they rebuild their relationship? Or, speaking of guilt, Sylvie kind-of-sort-of was responsible for Ivy's death, even if it wasn't 100% intended and she was not quite in her right mind at the time. She did push Ivy. How does she handle THAT?

What is school like, afterwards? What rumors escape? How does Coop handle them? Does this attract new weird friends? Does she adopt any of Ivy's traits as her own?

Or - what if Ivy survives the fall? Seriously injured, possibly paralysed, but alive? How do they deal with her, once the truth comes out? Do they cover up her crimes? Do they keep her in their home? What happens to their relationships?

Did Ivy ever care about Sylvie? Did she legitimately want to be friends before she started trying to seize hold of the world and the wealth that Coop lived in?

Sylvie ends up kind of pushed out of a lot of the middle of the movie so the film can spend more time perving over Ivy. More about her character and her thoughts in general would be great. We know she can be a troublemaker and a fantasist - who else has she been telling lies to? Or is the whole movie itself a lie she's telling us? And if so, what is the story behind the story?

For AUs, what would have happened if Ivy had met Coop when they were several years younger, so she couldn't get her hooks into Darryl as easily? What if they met at summer camp and Ivy was just as messed-up and needy but the situations were different? What if the movie plot is actually a fantasy younger-Ivy spins about her future to her fascinated-and-appalled friend, who then has a chance to react to it? Or what if Ivy tried to replace Sylvie rather than her mother? Or what if it's Darryl that she wants to kill, as revenge against the men who've mistreated her in her life? Or if it's Sylvie she really wants to be with, and we get some twisted bad-girls scenario where BOTH parents are conveniently disposed of so the girls can live together forever, lying to each other and the world and refusing to acknowledge the truth of what they've done?

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE SMUT: I'm on board with Sylvie/Ivy sex, I don't want to have to see Ivy/Darryl in too much detail. Brief reference if necessary is okay but not a focus.

DNW: Sylvie to die, Ivy to end up with Darryl

[arlequinelunaire]

Danganronpa Showa: Prologue Part 2

<<Prev AO3

At least I got to see that Genpachi, that eagle, and I weren't the only ones around. Standing here inspecting the cavern were four others our age, the one who first approached us being a prim and proper boy with stark white hair beneath a cap, remarkably bushy brows, and wearing a black Nehru jacket with gold epaulettes. 

"Greetings, it's good to see the rest of us gathering," he smiled and gave a sharp bow, "I am Ishimaru Toranosuke, and it's a pleasure to make your acquaintances. I have been called a great many things, a political genius, an effortless leader, but at Hope's Peak I am enrolled as the Ultimate Manager. My dream is no less to become Prime Minister of our fair Japan, so all of us may embark on the road to recovery".

"I smell narc," Genpachi muttered under his breath to me.

"T-that's Sakamoto Genpachi, Ultimate Jazzman. And I'm- I'm Enoshima Tsubasa, I'm the, well, Ultimate Pilot," I said, before I sighed, "Guess that's not much of a talent though, given we're all trapped underground like this".

"Relax, bub. There's no way anyone can keep me, the Ultimate Jailbreaker, down here, so you'll be up and flying in no time," smirked the next student, a man so hulking I could've mistaken him for a teacher. Stubble forming on his chin, the rest of his face was hidden by a black balaclava and beanie, though his smile showed braces that looked like barbed wire. The balaclava combined with his striped shirt made think of a raccoon. He had several keychains around his belt, a set of knives and spoons clutched between his fingers on his right hand, and a... cookbook in his left. I saw there was even still a ball-and-chain attached to his leg, which he was a bit too playfully swinging around.

"Alcatraz, Cowra, Hachijo, Hashima, no chains can contain me. Oh yeah, you can call me Katsu Yudai".

"I assure you, no such breakout will be necessary," Toranosuke spoke up, shooting a glare up at Katsu, "Hope's Peak Academy had to be relocated underground for safety during the war. Spreading wild accusations of imprisonment will only cause panic among our student population.

Anyway, to return to our initial subject," the Manager coughed for emphasis and turned back to look at me, "So, you say you are from the Enoshimas? Ah yes, a well-respected military family with a storied background, delightful to have you here. As for our 'Ultimate Jazzman' though," Toranosuke furrowed his brow, before he shrugged and said, "Well, if it's what Hope's Peak has permitted..."

"Wise man once said 'Nothing is true. Everything is permitted'," came Genpachi's response, which Toranosuke just brushed off.

I tried to be more courteous. "T-thank you for your welcome, Ishimaru. Um, unusual a welcome as this is, it's really an honour for me to be here," I said, bowing in return.

"Likewise," said a girl with a wavy pink bob, a darker shade than mine, who was wearing headphones, not a sight I saw often other than on officers. She had on a beige jacket over a ruffled blouse with a rose pinned on it, and an also beige ankle-length skirt patterned with tiny white dots. "My, I don't intend to be presumptuous, but... I assume you'd be familiar with me. Most of Japan is after all, at least with my voice," she then asked.

I was left scrambling to think of where I could possibly know this girl from, until I remembered that broadcast I'd heard last night (at least, I guessed it was last night).

"Oh, I know, you're the Ultimate Radio Broadcaster! I-I think I listen to your radio show, you were talking about Hope's Peak and how you'd be there, a-and you also mentioned Ishimaru," I staggered back as I said, unable to believe I was meeting a national radio presenter.

"What's the big deal? I've got better tunes than her on rotation 24/7," Genpachi had to remark.

She politely laughed, hand up to her mouth. She then said, choosing to focus on me, "Why thank you, I'm always grateful to meet a fan. I can understand why you took a while to recognise my voice, even someone like can forget how people sound different on air than in person. Well, as we're all going to be schoolmates, um, I believe you are entitled to my proper name. Please, call me Benibara Momoka".

Wait, oh no, as Benibara was the Ultimate Broadcaster, then was there a chance of-? I'd have to ask that Voice, that 'Ultimate Mission Control', about her in private... if they'd even give an answer.

As I was still uncomfortable with the thought of brining the Voice up in public, I tried to breach the topic a little by saying, "Wow, they can sure do some amazing things with radio these days, huh? Like, even send waves straight into a person's head, um, I'd imagine anyway".

Benibara had to tilt her head at me, but she then said, "Ah, I see you've been tuning into our Science Fiction broadcast". Well, that got me nowhere.

That left one person here, a girl with round, rimless glasses framed by bronze-blonde hair ending in curls, wearing a dark blue dress with a white cravat over a lime green labcoat. Multiple test-tubes were stuffed into her pocket protector, a scribble-covered notepad poked out of her burgundy purse and had on a wristwatch fitted with far more counters than just the time.

"Guten tag," she said, bowing and smiling, before she twitched and stepped back a little. "Um, guess it is no surprise I am from Germany, ah ha. Um, if I may make a request?" she then asked.

"Sure, ask away," I said, trying to break the ice.

She sighed out. "It does feel a little spoilt of me, given how open everyone here has been with their talents. But, well, I would prefer to keep my Talent a secret, confidential as per request, for now. Do not worry, it is indeed listed on the Academy records, I shall happily reveal it in due time, once we're all.... comfortable," she fidgeted.

Toranosuke had to fold his arms and remark "Secrets are not ideal for group cohesion, but... I do suppose there is nothing in Hope's Peak Rules about obfuscating one's Talent, at least to other students. By all means then, if you must".

"Oh, thank you thank you, that helps me a lot," she perked up right away, before she gulped and said, "Eh, okay, I will of course give you my name. Hildegard Schulz, pleasure to meet you."

Looking around the underground, I could see that the second floors and higher of both Hope's Peak buildings were cut off by the cavern roof. I figured this left any passage upwards either within the buildings themselves, had their upper floors not become encased in stone, or through one of the many tunnels that at present had been blocked off by cooled magma. Speaking of magma, the strong sulfuric smell and ashen taste within this cave made me flinch as I tried heading forwards in it, though looking around it seemed like Momoka and I were the only ones having trouble, as the rest proceeded onto the North Building. Momoka then turned and looked and me a little funny. She said, "Huh, it's strange. I've mostly spent my time cooped up in radio stations, but you said you were a pilot, right?" before she then stepped back, "Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, ah, i-if I came off that way". "You mean used to like the ashes and smoke of the warfield, right?" I said back to her, and also tried to tell her, "Hey look, I don't think you were imposing at all. But yeah, I was only really in the air force around the end of the War, so I only saw so many battles. I mean, I'm here as a Pilot, not like the Ultimate Dogfighter". Momoka however then added, "Then again, with all the bombings, I guess most of Japan has gotten used to ash and sulfur, more so than any volcano could make us". I bit my lip as she brought that up. "Yeah, my bad, I shouldn't have forgotten that" I mumbled. "Ahem, time is a wasting," Toranosuke then said as he walked back up to us. He then grabbed my arm to drag me further along, though granted I wasn't exactly moving at that fast a pace, while Momoka stumbled as she raced to keep up.

[annisthree]

Chapter V: The spark

previous chapter // masterlist // next chapter

Pairing: Cassian Andor x Original Female Character

Word Count: ~6k

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Explicit language, canon typical violence, angst

Chapter summary: Marla and Cassian are ordered to go to Coruscant to meet with an anonymous informant that claims to have some valuable intel. It definitely doesn't look like a trap.

A/N: 

Thank you for your patience. Life has been a bit funny recently, but I'm hoping to return to a weekly schedule soon. Just know that I deeply appreciate all the comments and kudos, and, in general, I appreciate all of you.

The warning has been in the tags since the very beginning, but just to reiterate: this has major spoilers to Andor.

Cross-posted on AO3 (same username).

The journey to Coruscant felt much longer than it really was.

Throughout the flight, Marla couldn't shake off the feeling of unease that settled in her gut as soon as they left Yavin IV. Perhaps it was the knowledge that they were walking into the rancor's den, right into the heart of the Empire, the exact opposite of where anyone with even a trace amount of survival instinct would go. Or perhaps it was the unspoken tension between her and Cassian, which seemed to have only grown since they came back from Ontasou.

As a result, she spent the entire flight in the cockpit, fingers tracing the control panel absentmindedly, eyes fixed on the never-ending stretch of stars outside. Cassian, on the other hand, retreated to the cargo bay, where he sat trying to finish reprogramming his new toy.

Marla couldn't help but wonder if the droid was supposed to take over the role of Cassian's best friend, now that she had clearly no longer fit the description.

Stars. They had definitely been spending too much together; she was beginning to imitate his signature broodiness.

The entrance to the cantina where they were supposed to meet the informant was tucked away in a dimly lit alleyway, and the only indication of its presence was the faint sound of music and laughter that spilt out onto the street. A neon sign above the door flickered in a hypnotic rhythm, casting an eerie multicoloured glow on the pavement.

'The Underbar, huh? Cause we're... underground? How smart. And how inviting.'

Cassian just shrugged, his eyes carefully scanning the surroundings. 'It's the only place where you can safely have these kinds of conversations. The owner is a sympathiser and has some sort of connections that allowed this place to be off the Imperial radar.'

'Connections?' Marla furrowed her brow, a reaction both to Cassian's words and to the foul smell that just hit her nostrils.

'Probably some dirt on someone important,' Cassian shrugged again and suddenly grabbed Marla's arm to stop her from bumping into a group of shady-looking Rodians that skittered past, their footsteps echoing on the grimy pavement.

'Seems like you've been here before.'

The edges of Cassian's lips quirked up ever so slightly. 'Once or twice.'

The door to the cantina was a thick slab of durasteel, dented and scratched from years of use. A few flickering surveillance cameras were mounted high above the entrance, scanning the area for any suspicious activity. Somehow, that didn't make Marla feel any safer.

As she continued to observe the building and the traffic around it, she felt Cassian's hand on her back, giving her a signal to move forward. Together, they crossed to the other side of the street and pushed the large door open.

Marla expected some sort of a check, maybe a search - she even had some credits at the ready, because even though the coat she had borrowed from Cassian was spacious enough to cover the blasters strapped to her thighs, she doubted even the most provisional search would miss that.

But it seemed she would get to keep her credits - clearly, no one cared what kind of people were entering the cantina.

It started to make more and more sense why Draven wanted her to watch Cassian's back in there.

'As soon as you're in, turn to the right and sit in one of the booths by the wall. Preferably the one in the corner, it will give you the best view. We're early, but I don't want to risk anyone seeing us walk in together,' he quietly instructed her as they walked through a dark corridor that ended with another set of doors. 'Any questions?'

Marla shook her head.

'Good. Go. I'll be right behind you.'

'Good luck,' she muttered, pushing her hands deep into her pockets and making sure the coat covered both her weapons.

If the exterior was far from being inviting, the interior was just... painful to experience. There was a thick layer of smoke and dust that hung in the air, making it difficult to see anything beyond a few metres. The walls were made of durasteel, with various marks and stains that showed the rough history of the establishment. And the smell... Maker, what was it?

No, probably better not to think about it.

As instructed, she chose the booth farthest to the right. Sitting down, she scanned the room and the people in it.

She counted twenty-three beings, including the band. Everyone looked suspicious, of course - but they were suspicious in a way that made them outside of her scope of interest. Sure, they were whispering something to one another, passing some small objects under the table - but that just meant they were too busy with their own illegal business to even notice Cassian and her.

'Welcome, miss. What can I get you today?'

Focused on scanning the room, she almost missed the tall waiter that appeared right next to her table. Not good. Cassian would have been disappointed with her lack of alertness.

'A beer, please.'

A shadow of annoyance ran through the waiter's face. 'Which one of the twenty different kinds of beer would you be interested in, miss?'

'The cheapest one?'

'Right. Of course. Coming right up.' She could have sworn she'd heard a quiet sigh of resignation as the waiter walked away. Or maybe it was the music. The band really had the most peculiar sound; it seemed they were fighting the instruments rather than playing them. Strangely, it only complemented the general atmosphere of the place.

Several minutes later, the waiter returned with her beer. She took a sip, and just as she began contemplating the terrible taste, the door to the cantina swung open, and Cassian walked in. With a certain level of relief, Marla saw that most people didn't seem to notice the newcomer - clearly, this was not one of the places where you could safely and openly pay attention to people.

Marla took another long sip of her beer and watched Cassian sit down at the bar and say something to the bartender. Moments later, he received a bottle of what she assumed was another one of the  twenty types of beer  they had in this place.

Clearly, he'd been here more than once or twice - there was warm familiarity behind the wide smile that the bartender was giving him as he started preparing another drink. Of course, that made sense; this wouldn't be the first time he was sent to meet with an informant. Still, Marla couldn't help but wonder what his usual visits here looked like - or, more precisely, if they involved any of the scantily-clad girls who were meandering slowly between the tables, clearly looking for their prey.

Not that it was any of her business, of course.

But still.

'The gentleman at the bar wanted to buy you a drink.'

She shifted her gaze onto the waiter and then back onto the bar, only to confirm there was exactly one gentleman sitting there at the moment. Cassian wasn't looking at her, instead carefully studying his own drink, but she could see a tiny smile forming on his lips as he took a long swig from his bottle.

'Oh. Erm. Thank you?' she said hesitantly, conscious of how hot the tips of her ears had turned. 'What is it?'

'This is our best Chandrilan whisky, the Hypernova Reserve,' the waiter recited. 'A rare and sought-after vintage, with a rich, smoky flavour and a smooth finish. It's distilled in the outer rim and aged for years in the finest Wroshyr barrels, giving it a unique taste that will satisfy even the most refined palate,' the waiter flashed a judgemental look at Marla and the bottle of cheap beer in front of her.

'Thank you,' she mumbled, praying for the man to leave her alone with her drinks.

Suddenly, the door opened with a swoosh, and a tall human male entered the cantina. He had rather pale skin and a neatly shaved head. He was probably around the same age as her or Cassian, maybe slightly older. He didn't seem armed, maybe apart from the knife she noticed flashing in his boot - but who here didn't have at least a knife? He would have been more suspicious if he had been entirely unarmed. Suspicious, or stupid - either wasn't an attribute of a good informant.

Because yes, by now she was sure - that was the man they were supposed to meet. Cassian must have sensed that too - he remained still and seemingly busy with his drink, but there was a muscle jumping in his tightly-clenched jaw that told her he was aware and ready to act.

Marla slowly placed her hands on her thighs, ready to reach for her blasters should the situation escalate - and then she waited, trying not to be too obvious about her intentions.

In the meantime, the man stopped maybe a couple of steps away from Cassian. It looked as if he was trying to decide something - he was squinting his eyes and drilling a hole in the back of Cassian's head. But he still didn't do anything that would qualify him as a potential danger. At least not yet.

Shit. Cassian would have instantly read the guy's intentions and known what to do. Meanwhile, here she was, her brain going back and forth between  'just shoot a hole through his head before he notices you'  and  'fuck, but what if it really isn't a trap?' .

And then the man said something, quietly, too quietly for Marla to hear - but clearly not too quietly for Cassian, who turned with an almost inhuman speed, pushed the barrel of his gun directly into the man's stomach - and then froze.

They stayed like that for a moment: Marla pointing her blaster at the stranger, with her finger ready on the trigger; the man staring at Cassian, the tiniest smirk on his face; and finally Cassian, staring back, just as intently, but with a new, strange look on his face. Or, more precisely, a sequence of looks: he started out focused, then opened his eyes a little wider, then let out a surprised breath, and finally - lowered his gun.

And then he gave the man the strongest, most sincere hug she'd ever seen him give.

*

The door closed with a thud, and soon enough, Cassian heard footsteps. He decided not to turn around so as not to betray his uneasiness, instead choosing to focus on the sounds. Heavy boots, fast and determined pace, clearly approaching in the direction of the bar.

But then the footsteps stopped somewhere between one and two metres behind Cassian, according to his assessment. For a moment, the person just stayed there, and Cassian's hand twitched towards his blaster - and then he heard the last thing he had been expecting to hear.

'Keef Girgo, I'll be damned.'

Shit.

His instincts took over - as if on autopilot, he turned his whole body around on the bar stool, his hand reaching for his blaster before his brain even fully registered what was happening. It took no more than two seconds, but he had managed to mentally go through the list of people who would know this alias, as well as try to estimate what the price on his head might be. If for some reason he wouldn't be able to fight the man, maybe he could bribe him...?

But the two seconds had passed, and he was now facing the opponent. He immediately noted a couple of details: he didn't see any blasters pointed at him, at least not in the nearest vicinity. He also didn't register any white armour or navy uniforms, another good sign.

And then he looked up, right into the familiar dark eyes he'd seen so many times and never expected to see again.

'Melshi.'

Yes, that was definitely him. There was something new, something purposeful and determined in his eyes - but these were the same eyes Cassian had seen every day for months whenever they were lining up in their cells to start their shifts, the same eyes that had followed him each time he took his break to work on the water pipes, and the same eyes that had carefully studied his face when he lied and said Maarva was fine.

'I thought I recognised that scruffy head.'

'And you decided to give me a heart attack?' Cassian murmured, lowering his blaster. Melshi shrugged, a shadow of a smile running through his face. 'It's good to see you.'

And he meant it... but not entirely. Yes, it was good knowing Melshi had made it, had not been captured or killed somewhere between Niamos and Coruscant - but Cassian had hoped he would have holed up somewhere far away, far out of the Imperial reach. Not right under the Emperor's nose, in the seediest of bars, clearly about to get himself into some trouble.

But then again, it seemed like those four years had been surprisingly kind to Melshi. In fact, he looked somehow younger than when Cassian had last seen him. Less troubled, less lost. There was a sense of purpose about him that deeply resonated with Cassian's own deepest sentiments.

'Good to see you, too, friend.' Melshi replied, and he clearly meant it, too - as evidenced by the warm smile (the kind Cassian had never seen before on his face) and a subsequent rib-breaking hug.

'What had you been up to?' Cassian motioned towards the empty chair beside him. In the seconds it took Melshi to sit down, Cassian quickly shot his eyes towards Marla - a very tense, very visibly confrontational Marla, who had both her blasters out and a look on her face that said she was confused but still ready to shoot - and gave her the smallest of nods.

'Same as you, clearly,' Melshi motioned at the bartender and pointed at one of the bottles on the wall. 'Is your bodyguard going to join us?'

Cassian huffed out a small snort, 'That obvious, huh?'

'You're not. She is. She looks like she's about to give me a one-way ticket to meet the Maker.'

'I'm fairly sure she's considering it,' Cassian snorted, giving Marla another nod and a smile that - in his head - was meant to be reassuring. 'So, you're a spy now?'

'Hardly,' Melshi replied with a smirk. 'Remember what we talked about on Niamos? How we should find a way to expose what the Empire had been doing?'

'People have to know ,' Cassian repeated. 'Any luck with that?'

'Well, not really,' Melshi averted his gaze for a moment, focusing instead on the collection of colourful bottles displayed on the wall behind the bar. 'I tried for some time, you know? Joined a small group that was working on hacking the official Imperial holosites. We managed to reach some people, but it all went to hell eventually,' he paused for a moment, nursing his drink. 'As most things do in the end. Speaking up doesn't do much when everyone around is too afraid to listen.'

Cassian nodded quietly, studying Melshi's expression. There it was again, that same shadow he'd seen on his face so many times before.

'Ever wondered what those things were, the stuff we made on Narkina?' Melshi resumed after a slight pause.

Cassian shrugged, looking away. Of course he did. But wondering did little good, and he had other things to think about.

'I did,' Melshi continued. 'And the more I thought about it, the less sense it made. So, after the holonet operation blew up, I started sniffing. Carefully, at first, because you know - being a convict on the run and all that... But then I did some digging and, what do you know, I had died in a tragic flooding incident four years ago. So did you, by the way,' he smirked again.

'That's-- quite convenient, actually.'

'It really is, isn't it? Seems like the Empire wasn't too happy admitting a bunch of thugs and losers closed the whole place down. You gotta love the Imperial penchant for hiding the inconvenient truth.'

Cassian waited in silence as Melshi tipped back another swig of his beer.

It made sense. And it also explained why Cassian never saw his face plastered on the streets with the words  wanted  underneath. In their arrogance, the Empire gave him a clean slate.

'Anyway, once I discovered that not only weren't they looking for us but also, they actively tried to hide any proof of our existence... I figured it gave me a perfect opportunity to sniff around some more. And that's what I did - I came here and found a job as a nightshift guard in the Imperial Archives. Not gonna lie, I almost backed out at the last second - but my fake identity ended up being worth every credit I paid for it,' He gave a faint smile before resuming. 'Long story short, there's good news and bad news. Bad news is, I still have zero clue what we were doing there, what all these parts were for... Good news, though: I managed to dig out a log of shipments out of Narkina from the time we were there. They were all going to the same place. And now I know where.'

A chill ran down Cassian's spine. This was indeed good - even if the intel was four years old, it still gave them a starting point, and maybe it could lead to discovering something important. But then, Narkina was stored in the part of his brain he rarely accessed, tucked away together with memories of all the other ghosts from his past. He wasn't sure he was ready to revisit any of them.

But of course, logically, he knew he should. Anything that could get them closer to winning this kriffing war.

'This,' Melshi continued, sliding a small data stick towards Cassian, 'has the coordinates and all the other details I have managed to get. Which isn't much - but it's more than nothing.'

Cassian grabbed the data stick and tucked it into one of his pockets. They sat there silently for a while, each seemingly deep in thought.

'Why?' Cassian finally broke the silence, his eyes still absentmindedly skimming the room. 'Why not just move somewhere to the Outer Rim where they would never find you?'

It took a moment before Melshi replied - and, once again, Cassian heard the same weight in his voice he knew so well from before.

'Was that really ever an option?' he said quietly, staring at the bottle he was holding. 'Would you be able to forget all that and just... accept it?' Cassian remained silent, studying Melshi's expression. 'I have to do something, Keef. Even if it means nothing in the grand scheme of things. If I don't, then what was the point of even trying to escape? What was the point of making it to the shore when so many others didn't? Kino. Ulaf. Veemoss. I have a debt to pay. Otherwise, it was all for nothing.'

Kino. Ulaf. Veemoss. Nemik. Maarva. Clem. Kerri. Over the years, Cassian had learnt not to think about the ghosts that had paved his path to the Rebellion. He knew that it was no use dwelling on the losses, that he had to focus on the present if he didn't want this list to grow - but he also knew it would eventually grow, inevitably, and each time he would have to learn to forget again.

His eyes unconsciously darted towards Marla, and for a couple of seconds, he allowed himself to watch her slowly sip her whisky. Would he ever have to forget this, too?

Would he be able?

'There's one more thing, Keef,' Melshi's voice brought Cassian back from his thoughts. 'I want to join. I've done what I could on my own... but it just doesn't feel enough, you know?'

He did. It never felt enough.

'We're flying back tomorrow,' Cassian said slowly. There was no point trying to dissuade Melshi from joining; he could see it in his eyes. He knew that spark. He saw it so many times in his own eyes and in the eyes of all those who shared their curse. 'And it's Cassian.'

Melshi's solemn expression lightened up momentarily as he gave Cassian a quizzical look. 'Really? You're telling me of all the aliases in the Galaxy you willingly chose Keef Girgo? Maker, and here I was wondering how much your parents must have hated you...'

'Mention this to anyone, and I'll make sure they put you on kitchen duty for the rest of your days,' Cassian grinned softly, finishing his drink in one long swig.

'Keef Girgo,' Melshi repeated, shaking his head in disbelief.

And it felt good to see him smile like this. Almost good enough for Cassian to allow himself to sit back, order a couple of more drinks, and to forget about why they were there and how they got there, and how many others didn't. Almost good enough to overlook the fact that what Melshi had just signed up for was effectively a death warrant.

Almost good enough to pretend they weren't all on a collision course towards unavoidable damnation.

*

One of the things Cassian appreciated the most about his friendship with Marla, as fucked up as it has been lately, was that she never tried to force anything out of him. She let him sulk in silence for as long as he wanted to, let him retreat into his dark hiding place and sit there for as long as he needed.

But she was always there when he did finally come out, waiting patiently, open to accept as little or as much explanation as he was ready to give. And, more and more often, knowing that made it just a tiny bit easier to return from even the darkest of places.

Stars, he really needed to make sure not to kriff this up.

They barely talked on their way to their lodgings. He needed time to figure out how he felt about what had happened; on the one hand, he was relieved to see Melshi and selfishly pleased to have him join them and fight together once again... but then, it was impossible to look at his face and not see all those other faces, the faces of the giants whose backs they were standing on.

And there was that one question, the one he tried to bury deep down and the one he was too afraid to ask Melshi: what about the others? He would have mentioned it if he had heard anything or met anyone else. And sure, the Galaxy was a huge place, but Cassian hadn't exactly been hiding. He'd have heard. Or Melshi would have heard, and he would have mentioned it. The silence confirmed what Cassian knew, but it stung nonetheless.

'We're here,' he rasped through the noise on the street, grabbing Marla by the sleeve of her (his) coat. Leading her carefully, he directed her toward the massive, weathered door marked by scorching burns and warning signs declaring the site as unsafe and scheduled for demolition.

He'd stayed there several times before. The Rebellion had a couple of these safe houses scattered around the biggest Imperial cities. The access codes were widely available, so if anyone ever got stranded in a city where counting on someone's hospitality would mean a death sentence for the host, they could still find a relatively safe place to hide and have some shut-eye.

'Cute,' she commented, looking at the sign. 'Can't wait to see the inside.'

'It's... well, it's better than you might expect based on the outside. But also worse than you were probably hoping for.'

'Is it worse than that junkyard on Bracca?'

Cassian let out a quiet snort. 'I don't think anything is.'

'Then we'll be fine,' she said with a lightness in her voice that made him believe, even if only for a short moment, that they indeed would be fine.

The hydraulic door opened with a swoosh, and he entered confidently. Half a step behind him, Marla followed suit, but not without looking around in the most obviously suspicious way she could.

'This really does the opposite of what you're trying to achieve,' he murmured as they walked up the dark staircase. 'No one does that unless they have something to hide.'

'But then I won't know if someone is following me,' she protested.

'You will, because people who blend in rarely get followed. Looking around like a skittish tooka doesn't make you blend in. It draws a target on your back.'

'Fine. Whatever,' Marla pouted, and he had to fight hard not to let out a sincere chuckle at her solemn expression.

They stopped in front of another set of doors - these ones without warning signs but with a terminal that looked definitely inactive. That is, until Cassian popped open a small panel at the bottom of the mechanism and connected the two wires that he knew would jumpstart the mechanism for long enough for him to enter the code.

'After you.'

Marla crossed the threshold hesitantly, stepping into the darkness of the flat. Cassian followed right behind, navigating the place based on his memory (and hoping no one had rearranged the furniture since he'd last stayed there). After a moment, he located the small lamps that were scattered throughout the flat and started turning them on one by one.

'I think I liked it more when it was pitch black,' Marla confessed with a raised eyebrow.

'I'm... sorry?' he shrugged, unsure how to react.

'Kidding. Look, there are actual beds. I didn't expect this much.'

'And there's a combination shower in the refresher. And the nanowave works, too. Usually.'

'Nice!' She threw herself at one of the beds with a surprising level of enthusiasm. 'You go first.'

'Go where?'

'Shower. You stink of smoke and spice. This place has way too little airflow for me to be able to ignore it.'

'Hey, you were there too. You stink exactly the same.'

'Go.' She pushed him into the refresher and closed the door behind him. 'Just don't use up all the hot water.'

The bathroom was small and utilitarian, with grey tiles covering the walls and floor. The shower stood in the corner of the room, a sleek and futuristic-looking device that emitted a soft blue light. Cassian stepped into the circular enclosure, and the door slid shut behind him with a hiss.

A pleasant warmth enveloped him as he turned on the water, and he closed his eyes, letting the soothing sensation wash over him. The sonic vibrations of the water slowly pulsated against his skin, washing off the distinct smell of the cantina and all the other scents he'd managed to pick up on their way here.

Shame no shower could dissolve the memories that were clinging to his brain just like the smoke and grime to his skin.

After a few minutes, Cassian stepped out of the shower and wrapped himself in a towel he found under the sink, trying hard not to think about how many other people had used it before him. He briefly considered getting dressed back in the clothes he'd had on before, but he changed his mind as soon as the smell of smoke attacked his nostrils again when he bent over to pick up his shirt.

The first thing he registered upon opening the bathroom door was the cold gust of air that violently attacked his damp skin, making him shiver. But then he picked up another set of sensations that made him forget about the cold.

'I think I'd be less surprised if I came out and saw a Wookiee playing a game of dejarik with a porg.'

Marla was standing by the counter of the tiny kitchenette, with different containers set out around her, a knife in her hand, and an aura of infinite frustration emanating across the room.

'You know that thing that you sometimes do when you're trying to be funny? Yeah, don't. You're really bad at it.' Cassian snorted in reply, which earned him a quick glimpse away from the unidentified piece of meat she was torturing with a dull knife - only to have her immediately avert her gaze with a look of poorly concealed panic that he found infinitely endearing. 'Maker, get dressed, will you?'

'Didn't know you cooked,' he threw, trying very hard to keep his tone neutral and not betray the amusement that flooded him at the sight of her suddenly nervous movements.

'I don't. But I'm hungry. And really fucking tired of the rations,' she barked grumpily. Cassian had to turn around pretending to look for his clothes to hide the grin forming on his face.

'Where did you get all this stuff?'

'Stole it,' she shrugged. 'From that shop on the other side of the street from the cantina. While you were taking your time saying goodbye to your buddy.'

'And how did you know there'd be a kitchen in here?'

'I read it in those boring-ass files you had sent me. Maker, can you stop interrogating me?'

'I'm just... surprised, that's all. Both with... this,' he gestured towards the kitchen, 'as well as the fact you've actually read the dossier. Are you sure you're all right?'

'Are you sure you want to be making fun of me while I'm holding a knife?' She turned around with a grimace that was probably supposed to look threatening. Which probably would have worked had she not caught him in the middle of buttoning up his shirt, which had her eyes briefly trailing down before she visibly remembered about being grumpy and defiant.

'Let me help you with that,' he offered, throwing the damp towel onto his bed and crossing the room to stand beside her.

He had to give it to her; she definitely was trying. The whole counter was littered with scraps, and there was a large pot on the stove with various vegetables and some mystery meat he was afraid to ask about. It looked... it looked like an honest attempt.

Without a word, he reached for the wooden spoon in Marla's hand, his fingers gently brushing against hers as he took over the stirring.

'Did you...' he started slowly, cautious to find the right words so as not to offend her, 'did you manage to find the spices?'

His only reply was the quiet bubbling coming from the pot.

It was funny, the way she could get so nervous about such little things. He'd seen her fighting against impossible odds, seen her manoeuvring the ship the way no sane person would ever even consider, and she'd never even blink an eye. And yet, there she was, defeated by a stew, and so self-conscious about it that Cassian wanted to drop the stupid spoon and just hug her until she forgot all about it.

Of course, he knew it would most likely earn him a bruise.

'It's okay,' he said, making sure to sound as neutral as possible. 'Second drawer from the top. I think I left some stuff last time I was here.'

'Here. I don't know...'

'It's okay,' he repeated before he could stop himself, and immediately felt like stabbing himself with that dull wooden spoon he was holding. Instead, he took the small sachet from her hands and added a good amount of its content to the pot. 'Okay, now it has to simmer for a while. You should have enough time for a shower.'

'Are you saying I stink?'

'I don't know. I couldn't tell over the delicious aroma of your cooking.'

'Are you being-- you know what, I don't care. Make sure not to burn it,' she shot him a warning look before walking away towards the refresher. He could swear he also heard her mumble the word 'asshole'.

The sound of his own quiet chuckle surprised him. He had expected to spend the evening writing the mission report and trying to suppress that growing feeling of grief that had been slowly creeping into his head since talking with Melshi.

Instead, he found himself stirring a pot of what would surely end up being the worst stew he'd ever eaten, grinning like an idiot. And it felt like the simplest and most natural thing in the world.

Looking back into the recent past, he was surprised to discover it wasn't too difficult to find memories of other moments similar to this one. Like when his arm was injured and hurt like hell, but all he could focus on was Marla's flustered smile as she helped him dress the wound. Or like when they were pinned down in that droid factory, and he had to stop himself from kissing her because she looked so beautiful with that passionate spark in her eye. Or like when he woke up to her staring at him with that confusingly elusive look on her face, only to watch her sneak out when she thought he was still asleep.

He looked at the closed refresher door and shook his head, a sudden shadow of sadness eclipsing his thoughts.

It felt so good, but deep down, he knew it wasn't right. This wasn't his purpose, he wasn't supposed to feel these things; he was supposed to be a spark and an unstoppable force for good, that was his prophecy, his gift and his undoing. It sounded so good coming from Maarva, but what that really meant was that he was doomed to steal, lie and kill, so that one day people like Marla could wake up and find that the darkness had finally been banished.

And maybe Marla could finally find peace in that new world; maybe she would be there to watch the last of shadows cower and crawl away; maybe one day she could even dust off the ashen remnants of his sacrifice and forget about the war, the way she deserved to.

But that wasn't very likely, was it? People like them had an expiry date.

The steady patter of water coming from the refresher stopped abruptly, and Cassian's eyes were once again drawn in that direction.

They were here, though. Alive, relatively well, and about to share a meal. And however doomed they were, whatever sacrifice they would have to make, they would at least always have this. And it wasn't half bad, Cassian decided.

It was much more than he had ever expected. And definitely more than he thought he deserved.

*

A/N:

For the LOTR fans that are familiar with the director's cut: you can imagine the rest of the evening went something like this. I started writing this scene, realised where it was going, and I just couldn't help myself. It had to be a stew. I'm sure they have stews in a galaxy far, far away.

PS I'm sorry for that fluff/angst rollercoaster at the end. Well, maybe I'm not. Or maybe just a little bit.

PPS I may or may not have a draft of a Melshi fic that talks about what happened between Narkina V and joining the Rebellion. But that's gonna take a while, my brain is incapable of focusing on more than one story at a time ;)

[twistedgardens]

Spider Man Kiss 

In which you have to explain to Lilia that, no, Spider Man is not a giant half-arachnid humanoid creature that dwells in caves and eats unsuspecting travelers, and giving you a Spider Man kiss does not mean tying you up with webs and hanging you upside down to drain your blood.

Content: No Smut. Just fluff. We're keeping it G-rated today.

@stygianoir

You walked down one of the many maze-like corridors of Night Raven College. You carried a load of books with you to Ramshackle Dorm. Grim was held back, again, after class for some remedial lessons. Serves him right for not studying properly. You rounded a corner only to stop in your tracks.

Lilia hung from the ceiling in the middle of the your path. Did he see you coming and prepared or was this just a coincidence? It was hard to tell because of his wide-grin.

"Good afternoon, Lilia," you said.

"Where might you be heading off to?"

"Just heading back to my dorm. Would you like to come with?"

"Well, I'm supposed to check in on Malleus in the library, but he's a grown fae. I'm sure Silver and Sebek can protect him themselves," he answered.

"Are you sure? Won't you get in trouble?"

There was a devious glint in Lilia's eyes. He landed on his feet more graceful than a cat. Just how many centuries did it take for him to master such a talent? You shuddered to think about it. Lilia's appearance was a trick, a rouse. Some people look old, but Lilia didn't look that way at all. The aura around him felt...ancient. Not old, ancient. It was never portrayed in his face, but even someone like you with no magic could feel it in your bones that Lilia was probably even older than Night Raven College itself. Did he know any of the Seven? Probably.

"Besides, how can I say 'no' to escorting a pretty girl safely home?" Lilia chuckled.

It was a long trek from the campus to your dorm. Silence wasn't suitable for either of you for such a walk. Conversation was inevitable. You talked about things you remembered from your home world in the vague hope that Lilia might be familiar with your world, alas no. He was just as confused about your home world than anyone else you'd run across. He never heard of a place called (insert home state/country). This world and yours weren't so different, the more you realized and talked about it. Although they ran on different mechanisms, technology from Twisted Wonderland and your home world were more alike than you thought originally. Lilia told you all about cinema from his realm. This gave you a thought.

"You know Lilia, when you hang upside down like earlier you remind me of a comic book character from back home," you said casually.

"Ah! We have those two. Now I'm curious. What are comic characters like from your world and who do I remind you of?"

"Well, remember that in my world magic doesn't really exist. So, people make up characters to draw that have fantastic super powers like flying and invincibility. When you hang upside like a bat, you remind me of this super hero from the movies. Spider Man."

"Spider man? Oh, we have those too!" Said Lilia, excitedly.

"Really?"

"Yes, but I don't think you'd enjoy meeting one. Spider men from my realm are humanoid creatures with the lower half of a giant spider. They're known to trap prey in caverns deep underground and slowly suck the blood out of them," said Lilia.

You ignored the bit of bile rising in your throat at the mere mention of such gruesome things.

"Well, where I'm from Spider Man doesn't really...do that. He's a hero who saves people. In one movie about this character, he and his love interest Mary Jane kiss, but because he has the powers of a spider, he's hanging upside down when they kiss in the rain."

"That sounds delightful!" Lilia smirked, though you don't know what for.

He was very hard to read despite being the most outgoing in Diasomnia dorm. Lilia wore that mischievous look on his face the whole walk to your dorm. He escorted you to the front door but when you turned to say goodbye, Lilia had already left.

The next day, you walked from one class to the next. Grim ran ahead of you because of your "slow human legs." You didn't have the heart to tell him it was because he was so tiny that he could weave in between students. He raced ahead of you and disappeared behind the wrong hallway. You sighed, a headache forming in your temple.

The hair on the back of your neck stood on end. You looked around for the source. You hoped against hope that it wasn't another student who overblotted. As you scanned the hallway, you didn't notice Lilia appear in midair. He waited patiently to strike. When you turned again, you yelped as you spotted him where he wasn't there before. Your startled cry was cut short by Lilia's lips planting themselves on yours. You eyes flew open at the shock of it all, but you slowly gave in.

Your lips meeting his was a bit..awkward to say the least. Not just because this was the first you'd receive in a while. You never kissed someone who was hanging upside down. Lilia must have taken your description of the "Spider Man kiss" to heart. The kiss was passionate but sweet and left you gasping for air.

When Lilia finally released you, he gave you a final peck on your forehead. His hand dropped something into yours and he vanished again. You looked down and saw a single blue rose with a note tied its stem with velvet ribbon. In scrawling flourish, the words read: 'Dinner at 7?'

(Is Mary Jane Spider Man's girlfriend? I have no idea, correct me if I'm wrong. I don't read or watch comic book hero stuff)

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

Out Of The Woods (1/?)

This multi chap fic has been one that I've wanted to write for a while. I'm hoping to connect a few loose ends, since my series is getting closer to the end. Don't worry, I still got a couple of fics left in me. I'd love to thank @xerxezra whose conversations with me are always inspirational. I'd also like to thank @dorkydisappointment whose writing got my creative juice flowing.

References to the woman in the journal is from What You Found Amongst The Pages.

In this fic the reader tries to uncover the mystery of the artist behind Zeta-7s portrait.

__________________

Chapter 1: A Glimpse Of The Past

For some time, Rick had been looking forward to taking you here; to the middle of nowhere, in the northwest, where enormous pine trees lined the roads, and evergreens could be found as far as the eye could see. Initially, you weren't sure what you were expecting. A Bob Ross worthy getaway perhaps? Maybe, though unlike the paintings done on PBS, there were gas stations and convenience stores which broke the harmony of trees, roads, and sky; as few and far between they were.

The drive itself was fantastic, and the surrounding area was nice, though you had little to no cell phone reception. And since you couldn't pass the time exploring the weird parts of Reddit, you stared out the window while Zeta-7 sang along to silly travel tunes; the kind that kids would enjoy, but we're actually music recommendations from Tall Morty; another good Rick. You giggled when he sang ‘He had high apple pie, in the sky hopes’, but he didn't seem to mind, he was excited.

However, you were curious as to why Google maps couldn't find the address to the place you two were going to, but Rick seemed to know the directions. Honestly, as long as it wasn't like anything you'd saw in Gravity Falls, then it was going to be fine.

____________

“W-we're here.”

Nope. This couldn't be right. Jumping out of the passenger's seat, you were taken aback and a bit creeped out by the amount of moose statues and decorations which surrounded the place as though to protect it. Could they be part of the security system perhaps? And if they were, was it generally safe to even be here?

“We are? Really?”

“Y-you bet.”

Before your thoughts ran away with the idea, you turned towards him. “Rick, do you need any help with the luggage?”

Opening a portal, he stepped through carrying all the luggage, then reappeared in front of you a few seconds later. “No, it's - I already took care if it.”

It was just like him to be one step ahead of you. How unfair. “Rick, I could've helped you know. I'd hate for you to hurt yourself.”

“True,” he admitted matter of factly. “but if I didn't do it, then I couldn't d-do this.”

To which he then took your hand and pressed a soft kiss on it. “I-I needed to make sure you had a warm hand t-to hold. It's cooler out here th-then it is back home. ”

You gave him a playful shove in return, which made him laugh wholeheartedly before he went on explaining the brief history of this place all the while giving your hand a light squeeze.

The moose lodge, as it was named, looked more like a tacky cabin at the edge of the woods instead of the forgotten shack amidst a family of trees. It was located almost two hours away from the nearest town, and the easiest way to get there was by taking a single dirt road right off the state road twenty miles back; both of you agreed that using his portal gun would've been more convenient. The house itself used to belong to an old colleague of his, but Rick bought it a few decades ago and used it when he wanted to get away from the city, and think about life and so forth; as well as paint. Walking up the steps, he commented, “I-I know it's not much,” unlocking the front door with a moose-shaped key. “but I hope y-you'll like it.”

You really didn't want to tell him that the place looked like a tourist trap, but he stood there, waiting for your approval, nibbling on his bottom lip.

Oh, you didn't like the overwhelming amount of moose decorations, but you smiled nonetheless. “I'm sure I will. I mean, I guess I didn't know what I was expecting, but at least it will be peaceful. Right?”

“Th-that's right.”

Whatever opinions you held about the exterior design, the interior was a different story. When he opened the door, your senses were invaded by the scent of old paint and aged wood, with hints of pine and decades-old smoke. Following right after him, you gasped at the sight of the walls; each inch of wall space covered with paintings. There were scenes and landscapes, hidden figures in the brush, creatures you couldn't begin to describe, flowers, trees, and anything which had and might still be alive; his own private art gallery. With a few clicks on his phone, the curtains opened up, allowing the light to chase away the shadows.

And when the light settled on a particular painting, you walked past him, towards the furthest wall, nearest to the master bedroom, where a large painting hung above the fireplace; it was a portrait of him, done in the romanticism style. “Oh my God. Rick, that's…. did you paint that? I can't believe it, it's amazing.”

“N-n-no, I didn't paint th-that one, but I-I wish I did.”

You found it hard to believe because it captured his essence so perfectly. It was of his form illuminated by the mid-afternoon light, kneeling next to a flowerbed, holding an unopened rose, kissing it gently as though to bless it. His hands were covered in dirt, and his loose fitted, round-collared shirt allowed for a few chest hairs to peek out. As always, when he was around his plants, he was in this trance-like, reverent state; the quintessence of his being; peaceful and alluring in the fact that he didn't seem so broken. The closer you stood to this work of art, the more you felt as though you were staring at a historical figure rather than a throwback photo of your boyfriend.

The posture featured you'd seen him do on multiple occasions, when he took a moment to meditate, appreciating the beauty of life, and all once, you were envious of the one who got to see him this way, taking their sweet time, appreciating the inner beauty of this soft, tender, but complex man. It also reminded you that Zeta-7 had been young once, and handsome even though he thought otherwise. Touching your shoulder lightly, he sighed. “I-I know. Time hasn't been kind t-t-to me.”

“What are you talking about? You look great, but I can't believe this is the first time I'm seeing this. It's gorgeous.”

“Gee, that's - th-thank you.”

“When was this done? You look so young there.”

“Hohoho, not - not that young. It um - it was painted a-about thirty years ago, by a very good friend of-of mine.”

A good friend? Rick didn't have many good friends. “Were they an artist?” you wondered.

Scratching the back of his neck, he avoided your gaze. “While she'd never claim t-t-to be, I thought she was. I um - why don't y-you make yourself comfortable while I make us s-something t-to eat.”

She? You had many other questions you wanted to ask, but knowing him and how he changed the subject, it seemed that that was the end of that; for now. “Okay,” you acquiesced, determined to bring it up at the first opportunity. “but can I pick any room I want?”

“Out of the two bedrooms? Sure g-go ahead.”

__________________

After a simple dinner, you two went for a walk. There was a slight chill in the air, but thankfully you had a sweater and a warm hand to hold as you two followed the trail. You were glad to find that you were in better shape than you had anticipated, but that's what adventuring with a mad scientist will do. Here and there he found mushrooms which he took note of to return for later, and at some point, you climbed a tree, much to his disbelief, and teased him to come after you; he did, but you received a scolding which he then after profusely apologized for.

Later, after returning, you delighted in a warm bath and thought it would be a good time to unpack. Rick had disappeared somewhere around this time, which made you wonder if he had an underground lab here. Casually, you walked past the living room, with no intention of stopping but that larger than life painting caught your eye again. Unlike the other paintings along the walls, there was no artist signature. Hmm, what a tease the artist must've been.

In comparison, Rick hadn't changed very much over the years, except for the wrinkles of course and well his hair used to be darker. Still, you couldn't help but stare at that painting, envious of this old friend of his he had mentioned. Who was she? Was she beautiful? Did she love him too?

You thought more about it as you unpacked your stuff in the small bedroom next to the art room. It wasn't so far fetched to believe that he could've had his fair share of lovers, but then you had yet to see any feminine influences about his house except for a few treasured belongings of his mother. There was the woman from his journal, but he never brought it up and you had never confessed to having invaded his privacy, so you still weren't at liberty to do so. How was it that after all this time, there was still this bloom of mystery about him? Well, because he was humble and reserved, and only shared information which wouldn't hurt him.

Oh well. You'd have to get over it someday, but was it so wrong to be jealous of someone you never met?

TBC

[olsonpallooza2018]

Mountain climbing with the Didgeridoo

You know, pants are hard. Once again, I managed to put them on inside out. But, yesterday turned out to be pretty great, so maybe it's a good thing I can't dress myself? I have no idea how these two things correlate, but I'm a wee bit hungover, so cut me some slack.

We're off to Edinburgh today. 2.5 hours on the train where I can shut my eyes for a while... maybe. We didn't realize you could reserve train seats; just assumed it was first come, first serve. Whoops. We probably should have done our homework a bit better on that. Instead, we ended up sitting in someone's reserved seat. It was a bit of scramble with the bags and finding an unreserved seat. But we managed. I felt like a can of smashed assholes on the train ride down, but survived.

Tonight we are headed on an undergoing ghost tour. I looooove haunted stories and creepy buildings. The tour guide was hilariously creepy, with a very appropriate name, Edgar. We toured the underground of the South bridge and learned about the closes. These are the narrow alley ways between buildings. It was really something to stand in the same close where people were trapped, and left to die from the black plague hundreds of years ago. I wouldn't say it was a good feeling. On top of that, I learned of the "Nastiness Act" of 1749. Truly the most disgusting thing that is STILL IN PLACE! Not that I think people do this anymore, but THEY LEGALLY COULD! Basically, the act states you can dump your chamber pot, or shit bucket out the window... But only after 10 pm. So if you're stumbling around the closes of Edinburgh after 10 pm, I wouldn't look up when you hear, "Prenez garde a l’eau!” - meaning literally ‘beware of the water’. But, that's the French way of saying it. We're in Scotland, so it's more like, "gardyloo!". That's what the people would holler just before dumping their.... Well, dumps.

After the tour, we had some dinner and then parted ways again. Lana and Mom went to this super sweet open mike night. Lana almost forgot her phone I guess, but a young Scottish buck saved the day! And then asked for her number.

Lane and I went for a hike in the dark. Like, pitch black. We climbed Aurther's Seat. All the way to the top. But instead of finding the proper path, we decided a challenge was required. Because mountain climbing in the dark isn't challenging enough. We took the path that required a significant amount of climbing, rather than walking 30 feet up the road to the beaten trail. Why make things easy? The reward should be earned dammit!

Anyhow, the view was unfreakingbelievable. We almost had a 360 view of the entire city of Edinburgh. Pictures don't do it justice, but I have posted a few. Unreal. I don't really have any words to describe what it looked like to see all the city lights from here. It's like nothing I've ever seen before.

We had brought a couple wine samplers up the hill with us, but, we thought maybe it wouldn't be such a great idea, given the challenging climb, and it being dark, to have a drink and then climb back down. We did find the easy path on the way down, so we could have, but, the fear of falling to our death really took over. We saved the wine for celebration of finding out way back to our place.

On the way down the mountain, there was a dude up top paying a didgeridoo. In the dark. By himself. Interesting. I don't think I heard one in real life before. I wonder what possessed this guy to be on top of this mountain at 9:30 pm on a Monday, and play his didgeridoo. Lane suggested maybe his wife didn't like it, so he went to the most secluded place in the city. I hope he knows it was enjoyed by us!

Tomorrow, Edinburgh castle! Until then...