#i really like them having all cis daughters cuz i think it's funny if it puts them back at square 1 again but i LOVE

[vengefulblue]

trans girl chloe murphy

her name's chloe, her parents were Those Parents with the cutesy matching name's picked out and she found it written in a box of her baby things when she was 5 and it just /fit/, y'know? (zoe would have been zander, so she /really/ dodged a bullet there)

the baseball glove was a gift from santa when she was 6, and that's how she figured out santa wasn't real. chloe wrote one letter and gave it to her parents cuz she had to, but she sent another one secretly with her real list (nail polishes and "shimmery lip stuff", just like zoe wanted) and she asked santa to please write her real name on the gift because then mommy and daddy had to know she was really a girl, right? but instead, she got a baseball glove, and she told zoe later and they both cried. and when zoe told their parents "santa's not real", chloe got in trouble. (but zoe shared her nail polishes and shimmer lip balm, because sisters have to stick together)

chloe's so close to zoe's age that people thought they were fraternal twins when they were little, and they kind of believed it sometimes? obv they figured out that zoe's younger, but up til middle school they still just go with it. it's only when everything starts getting really bad that chloe really thinks of zoe as her "little sister", cuz she sees zoe as like, pure compared to herself, the monster child.

even when shit's bad between them, if they're alone, zoe calls her "chlo" and "sister" and all that. (even if it's usually some variation of "goddammit chlo, you are literally the worst sister ever, i hate you!")

sometimes chloe wishes zoe would slip up in front of someone else, just so she wouldn't be the only person who knows. she's resigned herself to the fact that she's never coming out, never transitioning, none of it. as soon as the Printer Incident happened and suddenly everyone knew her as "connor murphy, the psycho", she knew she'd never do it herself.

she's always known she likes boys, and for about a month in sixth grade, she wondered if she was just a gay guy. but then a boy kissed her and asked if she'd be his "boyfriend" and she just. no. definitely not a guy. but she lets people assume she's a gay guy bc it's just easier that way. (chloe's actually bi, but she mostly likes boys. zoe laughs when she finds out and says they really are opposite twins, since zoe mostly likes girls.)

the opposite twins thing is kind of a running joke, but also pretty true. zoe's hair it's a little lighter, but she's not as pale. chloe's hair is a little darker, but her skin is lighter. their hair parts are both slightly off center, but on opposite sides. zoe is right handed, chloe is left handed. zoe is more girly, likes bright colors and pop music. chloe likes more plain clothes, dark colors, and she secretly loves 90s girl grunge. (even if she were out, she'd dress p much the same, just with some purple instead of all black and grey, and dark makeup.)

chloe loves her sister more than anything, but she also kind of hates her. zoe is cis, and pretty, and kind of popular. guys like her, she gets good grades, she's the perfect daughter. and chloe is... not. she's just the fucked up crazy kid, a million feet tall, with literally no friends. she's failing almost every class and she's awful to her parents. even evan hansen likes zoe, and it's not surprising it's just disappointing. it's just unfair. the one guy chloe maybe likes and could imagine might be not horrible to hang out with, is in love with zoe. because of course he is. who wouldn't be?

when chloe's gone, zoe is completely broken. everyone's expecting her to mourn her brother, and she's the only one who knows she never had a brother to begin with. she knows right away that evan's emails are fake, because no real best friend would ever write "dear connor murphy..." zoe knows she was probably chloe's best friend, and she feels fucking awful because the last year or so was non-stop fighting. she knew chloe need help, that she had issues, and zoe didn't fight for her. chloe always stood up for her, got in a few literal physical fights for her, and zoe couldn't even tell her parents that chloe needed help, therapy, medication, /anything/. so zoe's pretty sure she's the biggest hypocrite on the planet, bc it turns out that /she's/ the "worst sister ever", not chloe. 

(if chloe survived, zoe would help her come out to their parents and fight for her every step of the way, and evan would be even more confused bc holy shit chloe's pretty but he likes/liked zoe and w h a t   e v e n ??? is it weird to like them both? and honestly the murphy girls just think it's funny to make him blush so sometimes they do play up the opposite twins thing. it also works on alana a bit, and zoe is /so/ not complaining about that)