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sgtjbbhasmyheart · 4 years ago

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Drunk Texting Is(n’t) Bad for Your Health- Chapter Two

Series Summary: Talk about your unconventional meet-cute! Bucky receives a text by mistake requesting he prove he's not Reader's sister. The easy dialogue between Reader and Bucky sparks a natural friendship, but could it lead to more? Bucky still deems himself unworthy of any form of affection or love. Reader is hellbent to prove him wrong. With the help of some (meddling) friends along the way, Bucky may get his happily-ever-after after all.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 2921

Warnings: bad language words, blink and you’ll miss the angst, just some fluff

A/N: divider credit- @firefly-graphics

DO NOT copy or replicate without my permission

You awoke with a start, feeling as if you were late for work or something important and forgot to set your alarm. Your heart beat an erratic tattoo against your ribcage. Scrambling for your cell phone, you blindly reached across the side table near your bed in a panic. Unplugging the phone, you brought the device an ungodly closeness to your face. It was only 6:17. On Saturday.

Your pulse throbbed behind your eyeballs, and a strange stickiness coated the inside of your mouth. Did you drink that much last night?

How could you not? Timmons was a fair boss, and you enjoyed your job, but that dude loved the sound of his own voice.

The quarterly business dinners were mandatory for all employees, even for the P.A.s. Typically, they weren’t so bad, but last night, Timmons felt the need to toot his own horn for landing a massive contract with Stark Industries slash The Avengers. He went on and on about how great it was for the firm.

He was like a giant kid in a candy store with his ramblings. ‘We will be promoting the face of The Avengers and everything that goes with it,’ he spouted off like the firm was god’s gift to public relations.

You groaned at the reminder of last night’s presentation. The contract wasn’t even in effect yet, and you were sick of the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Timmons could be a real buzz kill.

Rolling to your back, you brought your phone up to tap the screen to read the emails you received overnight. On display was a text from 11:04 by someone named James. It read: “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

Your mind went back to last night again, trying to recall who this James was. He must be significant if you plugged his contact information into your phone already. Had you met someone last night?

Drawing a blank, you clicked on the text bubble to pull up the thread. Briefly scanning through the numerous texts, everything came rushing back. In an attempt to text your sister, Robyn, you mistakenly texted this mysterious, James.

You felt like an utter buffoon when you learned he wasn’t Robyn. You always did have a way with the cute boys. Probably why you were single. You groaned out loud as you read on.

You im safely inside my apartment. Pretty sure no one followed me home

James Did you triple check the lock on the front door?

You yes dad yeesh

James There are a lot of bad people out there. Just want to make sure you’re safe.

You sounds like you watch the news too much but its sweet of u to care

James I know from experience.

You r u the bad guy or have u been the one mugged?

James Let’s just say I have friends that have dealt with the bad things of the world.

You right i almost forgot ur a military-trained assassin athlete mchottie

James Did you ever send your sister a text?

You shit thanks for reminding me i have such a crazy story to tell her

James Only good things, I hope.

You oh yeah all the good things an enigmatic yet handsome stranger cares more about my safety than any of my ex-boyfriends ever did.

James My ma raised me right.

You id say

James_ I hate to cut this short, but I think you need your rest. Especially if you’re meeting your sister tomorrow._

You i dont want to agree but ur probably right

You whats ur name btw?

James My name? Why? Do you plan to continue texting me after tonight?

You duh ur fun to talk to

James Oh.

You or not its cool if u dont want to

James It’s James.

You nice to meet u james im (y/n)

James Nice to meet you as well.

You my sister just texted me back and were still meeting at 9 i should go

You goodnite james

James Goodnight, (Y/N).

Oh. My. God. Had you seriously drunk-flirted with a stranger and offered to keep texting him? You had no shame with a few drinks in you.

You brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose and sighed loudly.

What did you know of this James? He had a New York area phone number. Check. He could have been a real dick about your mistake but wasn’t. Understanding. Check. He worried about you getting home safely in your inebriated state. Caring. Check. Not too forthcoming with the nine to five. Secretive. Check. His mouth looked so soft and plush, and his eyes were made to drown in. Gorgeous. Check.

A heat simmered beneath your skin as you recounted the shortlist you’d made. Were you lusting over someone you’d exchanged less than forty texts with? Had you somehow woken back up in high school?

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you stared at the screen displaying the message thread. Were you really considering this? You nodded your head to answer your own question. Where was the harm in a little shameless flirting? If worse came to worst, you could always block him.

With your mind made up, you began typing into your phone, constructing an apology.

You Good morning! First off, I want to apologize for the way I behaved over text last night.

You Though, I do like to imbibe in the occasional drink or two, I am, by no means, a lush.

You Please take everything I said with a grain of salt. Apparently, I get loose-lipped and cheeky with free wine. 😐

You Again, I’m sorry and understand if you wanted to cease our correspondence for my behavior.

You blew out a breath and tossed your phone aside. It was up to fate now and a stranger named James.

You laid in your bed for several minutes staring at the ceiling, contemplating between whether to send a ‘haha just kidding’ text and what the weather would be like, so you could forego shaving your legs in the shower today.

Your phone chimed during the pondering of hair removal, indicating a new text. You knew it was James proclaiming you a freak and to forget his number, but secretly, you hoped it was Robyn canceling today.

Seizing the phone from your mattress top, your heart’s beat increased with each second you went without looking at the screen. Finding the courage, you flipped the device over to read the message.

James Quite the formal apology, Ms. Professor.

You smiled at the text. It didn’t tell you to pound sand or eat shit. No, it was teasing and in jest. You sighed in relief.

You Cease our correspondence too much?

James No, no it was perfect if this was 1863, and you were breaking up with me via telegraph.

You Stop!

James Exactly! ‘Never speak to me again!’ Stop. ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ Stop.

A belly laugh disrupted the tranquil air of your bedroom. You quickly thumbed out a reply once you caught your breath.

You You’re incorrigible.

James I’m glad to see you are using proper capitalization and punctuation this morning.

You Ha!

You When you are buzzed and/or tipsy, capitals and periods be damned. Like you’re so perfect when you’re drunk.

James We all have our flaws.

Was he implying he was a sloppy texter when drunk, too? You shrugged it off as him being cryptic again.

You What are you doing up so early on a Saturday? I didn’t wake you, did I?

You were suddenly stricken with guilt. You should have waited for a more reasonable hour to send out rapid-fire apology texts. Not at 6:36 in the morning. You didn’t want last night’s behavior hanging over you, though. Better to clear the air now than later. You could always ask for forgiveness again if you had disturbed his sleep.

James I had just gotten back from my run when I saw your texts. I have training this morning.

You Oh, right. For your hush-hush, super top secret mission/quidditch game.

You You ever gonna tell me what you really do?

James_ Maybe. Someday._

How far away was someday? Was he planning to text you until you both died or until he got bored? How did texting relationships even work?

You Or is it one of those situations where if you told me you’d have to kill me?

James 😈

You There you go again--being all mysterious.

James Keep ‘em guessing and coming back for more.

You Has that strategy worked well for you in the past?

James Got you to text me again this morning, didn’t it?

You scoffed at what he had suggested. He was correct, but your stubborn streak would deny everything.

You The only reason I texted you this morning was to apologize for acting like a drunken fool last night.

And to squash the curiosity burning in your veins. But he didn’t need to know that.

James Oh.

The reply caused you to furrow your brow and your stomach to drop. You regretted not adding more levity to your last text. Of course, it wasn’t the only reason you were drawn to him.

You I appreciate that the selfie you sent wasn’t a dick pic. And you genuinely seemed to care about me getting home safely. Thank you.

You And maybe- a teeny, tiny bit- is honestly interested in getting to know you better.

You waited on pins and needles for his text, watching the pulsing ellipsis on your screen. Was he just humoring you?

James Hook. Line. Sinker.

Reading his response generated a flush from your jaw to your hairline. You growled in embarrassment. You fell for the oldest trick in the book. He baited you for a compassionate answer, and you delivered beautifully. Hook, line, and sinker, indeed.

You You’re an ass. I take everything back.

James Don’t be mad. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go, but you played into my trap wonderfully.

James If it makes you feel any better, all kidding aside, I want to get to know you better too.

James I fell asleep with a smile on my face last night and woke up with one this morning.

James Because of you, (Y/N).

A flutter broke apart in your chest. You hadn’t time-traveled back to high school; no, this was junior high territory.

You You’re lucky you’re so damn charming, James.

James Doll, you have no idea.

The subway ride into Manhattan usually gave you the chance to get a little reading in since it took nearly fifty minutes from Queens. Not today, though. You spent the entirety of the train ride texting back and forth with James. It was mundane stuff, but you were getting a grasp of who James was as a person.

You Favorite color?

James Black. You?

You Blue.

You Favorite ice cream flavor?

James Chocolate. Yours?

You Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia.

James I didn’t realize we were getting specific.

You We weren’t, but that’s my favorite.

You Favorite movie?

James I like the classics- The Wizard of Oz, It’s A Wonderful Life, Frankenstein.

You I have too many to list, so don’t ask.

You Okay. Lightning round because I’m almost to my stop.

James Where are you going again?

You paused your reply for a brief second, wondering if you should divulge your destination. You’d known James less than twenty-four hours; although, it felt like weeks after this morning. Where was the harm in telling him where you were meeting your sister? There were nearly nine million people in this city. There was no way you’d ever bump into each other.

You A bakery in the Upper East Side called Two Little Red Hens. Ever been?

James Don’t think I have.

You Well, since you like chocolate, they have a fantastic cake called Brooklyn Blackout. Super rich but delicious.

James Sounds right up my alley.

You Cats or dogs?

James I’m gone too much, so cats.

The answer piqued your interest. Maybe he was an athlete. Wouldn’t it be practice and not training, though? Or he’s FBI or CIA.

You Socks on or off for sleeping?

James Off.

You Silver or gold?

James Silver.

You Morning, noon, or night?

James Night.

You How do you take your coffee?

James Room for sugar and creamer.

You Boxers or briefs?

James Boxer briefs.

You laughed out loud, looking around the subway car to see if anyone was paying attention to you. Per usual, they weren’t.

You Touché.

As soon as the train stopped, you gathered your purse close to your body and made for the exit. You followed the crowd of fellow passengers through the turnstile and ascended the stairs onto street level.

The morning sunlight caressed your skin like a warm blanket. The humidity wasn’t too bad, yet, but the threat of afternoon thunderstorms still hung in the air.

Even with the reasonably early hour, the sidewalk was stuffed with people, carrying to-go coffee cups or shopping bags. You fought for your little spot of real estate on the grimy concrete.

Stopping at a red traffic light, waiting to cross, you typed out another question for James.

You Pineapple on pizza--yay or nay?

The light changed as you finished, and the throng of pedestrians around you guided you across the street. You spotted Robyn outside the bakery as your phone dinged with a new text alert.

“Wow, I’m surprised you made it on time,” Robyn said as you hugged hello.

You looked at the clock on your phone. 8:58. “You and me both, sister.” Glancing back at your phone’s screen, you giggled.

James What kind of monster puts pineapple on their pizza??

“What’s so funny?” Robyn asked as you accompanied her through the bakery’s door.

With a grin on your face, you punched out a quick reply:

You Well, it was nice knowing you, James. It was a swell friendship while it lasted--a whole 11 ½ hours.

Robyn elbowed you softly in the ribs with a look on her face, seeking an explanation.

“Ow,” you grunted. “What?”

“You tell me. I half expected a zombie to walk through the doors today after your text last night. Not Suzie Sunshine.”

You both edged closer to the counter as the line in front of you dwindled.

James Say it ain’t so, doll! Pineapple on pizza? Really??

You let out a low chortle as you skimmed the text. You glimpsed up at Robyn as you shuffled forward in line again. “Believe me, I’m pretty hungover,” you replied, shoving your phone in your back pocket. “It’s a funny story. I’ll tell you everything when we sit.”

Robyn stared at you warily, still trying to figure out what had come over you. “Okay,” she conceded, stepping to the register to order.

With each of you supplied with an iced coffee and a peach ginger scone, you found an empty table by a window along 2nd Avenue and proceeded to tell Robyn about James.

When you stopped to catch your breath, remembering the whirlwind the last twelve hours had been, you peered at your sister for her reaction.

She stared at you like you’d grown a second head. She shook her head in disbelief. “(Y/N), what where you thinking?”

Your brow pinched in confusion. Was she actually scolding you? You crossed your arms over your chest. “I was thinking about how my big sister is always telling me to meet new people and how it’s time I thought about settling down.”

“Not like this it’s not,” she hissed. “This is how your body parts end up in someone’s freezer!”

You choked on the piece of scone you shoved in your mouth before she started ridiculing you. After coughing to clear your airway and taking a sip of your iced coffee, you leered at Robyn. “Oh, my god! Dramatic much? Have you been binge-watching Dateline again? Jesus Christ, Robyn, he’s harmless,” you countered.

“You think you’ll be so careful, but you’ll let one little detail slip, and he’ll find you,” Robyn said before taking a pull from her coffee.

“You mean, like, how I was meeting you at Two Little Red Hens at nine o’clock?”

Robyn’s mouth popped open in an O. “What the hell, (Y/N)?” she stage-whispered. “Are you trying to get yourself kidnapped and sold into sex trafficking?”

“Please,” you drew out in one long syllable. “He doesn’t know what I look like. How would he snatch me?”

“He could look you up on Facebook.”

“Without a last name?” You shook your head, no.

“What about a reverse search on your number?” Robyn asked, pushing the plate holding her scone away. “That’s a thing.”

“Perhaps, but it seems like a lot of effort for a mistake I made. It wasn’t like he was seeking me or anyone else out.”

Robyn huffed out a breath and folded her arms in exasperation. Always the protective big sister. You could tell you were breaking her down, though.

“C’ mon, Robbie. It’s all in innocent fun. I’m not saying I’m hoping he’ll turn out to be Mr. Right, but the banter is fun,” you remarked. “James is charming and witty and nice to talk to.”

Robyn shook her head once more, frowning. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

You reached across the table for her hand and squeezed gently. “Me too.” You smiled slyly, remembering last night’s dinner and Timmons gushing about The Avengers. “If not, I know how to get ahold of a couple of centenarians who know chivalry isn’t dead.”

Chapter One | Chapter Three

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tanakavox · 3 years ago

Text

here guys. This reaction was done @bssaz97 again. And that's it for the author's note.

"I miss baby Zwei!" Weiss sulked.

"We know Weiss, you've been saying that for the past ten minutes," Blake's vein appeared on her head.

"Why can't we see more of him! He was so cute and innocent!" Weiss crosses her arms and huffs..

"He spent the entire time antagonizing me!" Jaune replied.

"He can never do wrong." Weiss cemented in her mind.

"Forget it VB, she's a lost cause." Yang told her fellow blonde.

"Well let's see what this next viewing has in store for us all." Ren calmly stated.

The screen shows Jaune on Planet Namek facepalming.

"Urgh, what was that idiot DOING bringing me here!" He mutters before turning to look around his eyes widening. "It's... Wait a minute, I can feel it... This is my home! I can finally see its beauty! The lush blue fields, the crystal clear waters, the wind brushing past my... GOD, THIS IS BORING!" He yelled out before groaning. "No wonder I feel at home."

"We're back to Namek!" Ruby shouted in excitement.

"And there's alien Jaune-Jaune!" Nora jumped in.

"Wait isn't this the world where Cinder is supposed to be really powerful?" Jaune asked.

"...oh crud/shit." Many of the original audience replied. Those who were new to the theater didn't exactly understand what they meant but supposed they would eventually see why.

The scene cuts to Cinder confronting Mercury, Oscar, Neptune, and Trifa

"Oh hell yeah! Emerald wake up, we're back in the world where I'm a badass prince!" Mercury says as he shakes her shoulder.

Emerald loudly snores.

"Hey! You said to wake you when 'the snooze fest' was over."

"Not… interested." Emerald conveniently snored.

"Emerald, you will watch this viewing." Cinder orders.

"Yes Cinder!" Emerald miraculously much more awake.

"Wooow." Mercury drawls, shaking his head in genuine disappointment.

"Shut it!" Emerald hissed.

Cinder smiles coldly at them. "Well, Mercury. You've finally pulled it off. You've managed to dash my hopes entirely. With some help, I see." she turns to look at the rest of the group.

"Quack!"

"Neptune, seriously, not helping!" Oscar said ebowing him.

"I can try."

"I'm very curious. Where exactly are you from?" Cinder asks calmly.

"Don't you snitch!" Nora shouted at the screen.

"We're from rem-" Neptune started before Oscar stopped him.

"Neptune, no!"

"Oh right... Thanks for stopping me, Oscar. 'Cause I can't shut-."

"They're from Remnant." Trifa deadpanned.

"Traitor!" Ruby glared at the girl on the screen. Her anger was shared by many in the audience. Whether good or bad.

Blake was feeling the same amount of betrayal twice after remembering how Trifa was one of Ada-his agents sent to kidnap her in the past.

" Little bow girl, why?!" Neptune shouted out in disbelief.

"Because my name is Trifa."

Nora huffed, "Well maybe your name should little bi-!"

"Nora please." Ren asked his oldest friend and companion to let it go.

"'Sigh.' Fine, but I'm still mad." Nora said.

"Oh good. I'll stop by there on the way home. Pick up some space eggs, some space milk, and BLOW IT THE F**K UP!" Cinder screamed at them before calming here. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm usually far more composed. I'm just a little bit ABSOLUTELY LIVID." She said with barely contained rage.

"Oh, Cinder. Quit being such a bitch. I lost my chance at immortality too and you don't see me crying about it." Mercury said mocking with a smirk.

"Yep. Sucks to suck!" Yang stayed for both Cinder's in the audience and on screen.

"Care to say that to my face." Cinder stood up.

"Whoa now One Eye Cinder. We can't fight here, remember, so I can say whatever I like and there's nothing you can do to stop me." Yang explains with a toothy grin.

Cinder growls, but reluctantly sat back down as she began to curse this theater's damned rules.

"Yes, Mercury. But you see, the difference between us is I'll live long enough to regret it." Cinder charges at Mercury and engages him in battle with a battle cry.

Scene cuts to Jaune flying through the sky

"Hey we were getting to the good part!" Mercury shouted.

"And what part would that exactly be Mercury?" Cinder asked directly.

"The fight scene, what else." He said nonchalantly.

Cinder stared at him for a moment before looking back at the screen. Mercury was one of the few people that she could tolerate back talking to her so she paid it no mind.

"Everything looks the goddamn same on this goddamn planet!" He thinks and sighs before he sees something on the ground. "Wait a minute, a body! SOCIAL ACTIVITY!" Jaune yells as he yells flying down and landing next to a body, which was Hazel. "Please tell me you're not dead!"

Hazel begins to speaks in Namekian/Klingon

"What the hell is he saying?" Coco asked.

"It appears he is attempting to communicate with Mr. Arc's alternate in their native tongue." Ozpin rationalized.

"Do you know what he's saying Jaune?" Velvet asked.

"Velvet, I think Ozpin means-."

Velvet giggles before she starts laughing. Her team along with his shortly after.

Jaune was staring at them confusedly before his eyes widened in realization. He chuckled while rolling his eyes, "Oh haha, very funny Velvet."

Ruby just stared at the exchange expressionless, the joke was funny but for some reason she didn't want to laugh. Weird.

"Ah, crap. I find the only living thing for miles- and he's so broken he can't even talk right."

" I was speaking Namekian, you idiot. Don't you know anything about your own people?" Hazel gasps out, barely holding on to life.

"Well, we're demons, right?" Jaune asks hopefully.

"Eh, more like slug people."

"Ah, dammit! I liked it better when I was a demon."

"And I liked it better when I had proper bladder control. Nobody's perfect."

"Yeah, I've been meaning to ask about that. What happened?"

"Let's just say our world elder's kind of a giant green asshole."

Jaune and many of the other male audience members bowed their heads in silence for loss bestowed on the Namekian people.

"Yeesh! Port's a bit of a dick in this one… or lack thereof," Yang quipped.

"YANG!"

"Too soon?" Yang winced.

"Preachin' to the choir on that one." Jaune agreed, an image of Ozpin showing in his head. "Well, it's been fun, but I have to go DIE again…" He turns to leave.

Jaune mentally groaned as he remembered that in this world his life was the one entwined with Ozpin. Also he no more thrilled about the prospect of seeing his alternate die (again?) in a way that could've been easily avoided.

"Dang Arc, you're a bit sassy in this world, huh?" Coco asked.

"And green with antennas." Velvet whispered to Fox.

"Ahhh," Fox nodded, getting a clue of what the counterpart looked like.

"Wait. I might be able to help you." gasped out Hazel.

"Look, buddy. If you want to add me on MySpace, I switched to Spacebook a while ago." Jaune turns to left again.

"What's MySpace?" Oscar asked.

"Beats me, but it sounds mega old." Yang commented.

Ozpin, Glynda, Qrow and even Winter winced at Yang's unintentional jab at them. All of them who used to own MySpace accounts.

Salem just looked confused at the mention of these names. 'What's a MySpace and Spacebook? Is it a form of communication?' She thought to herself.

"No, no, no, no. Listen. I think I know something that might work out for both of us. I don't wanna die and you seem pretty lonely."

"DESPERA-, I mean, go on."Jaune said, getting yells before switching back to a normal tone.

"There's a special ability our people share. Forbidden, even amongst our most sacred clans."

"And we're just going to abuse it?" Jaune asked

"Oh, maliciously!" Hazel said with a grin.

"Bitchin'! How we do?"

"Well that didn't take much convincing at all." Emerald said, impressed by how quickly it took the dying Hazel to convince Arc to comment on what was probably the Namekians form of the Black Arts.

"Hey Jaune-Jaune needs all the power he can get if he wants to kick Cinder's butt!" Nora shot back. "Yeah!" Ruby echoed Nora's sentiment.

"Well, first you put your hand upon me."

" 'Kay" He places his hand on Hazel's elbow)

"Yes. Like that. Now lower."

"Uh-huh."

"Lower."

"Hmm…"

"Little lower."

"Hmm..".

"Ah! If we had junk, you'd be gay right now." Jaune groans as Hazel smirks at him. "Fusing!"

"Gods Dammit!" Jaune facepalmed. He couldn't believe how his alternate would fall for such an obvious trick…. though to be honest he probably would have fallen for it all the same.

Jaune fuses with Hazel, a bright light blinding the viewers. After it's disappears, Jaune only is there and he looks at his hands in wonder.

"Wow. Unreal. My gosh. This is amazing! I feel INCREDIBLE!" He then begins to chant Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! I can win! I feel great! I-can-do-this! HAAA…"

Hazel's voice from inside is heard inside Jaune's head. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"Nothing." Jaune replies after stammering a bit.

"Really? 'Cause it looked like you were chanting to yourself."

"Are you in my head?" Jaune ask changing the subject.

"Yup. Don't worry; supposedly I should fade away into your subconscious. Sooner or later."

"Is this what it was like for you?" Jaune asked Oscar.

"Pretty much." Oscar deadpanned

"...Wow, that's really weird." Jaune slumped in his chair.

"Yep. Well, you kinda get used to it after a while." Oscar replied.

"Does it?" Jaune asked him seriously.

"...No." Oscar slumped into his chair as well.

'If I could have carried this burden in my original body for all these millennia and spared you, I would have… no one deserves this burden.' Ozpin told himself in his mind. He determined it would fix nothing if he told them that, there was no changing the past.

"Okay. So, what now?"

"By my estimate, this fusion should have given you just enough power to wipe out the bitch who killed our people."

"And?"

"Well, let me put this in terms you'll understand: You can win! You feel great! You-can-do-this!" Hazel said, repeating Jaune's chant.

"Oh, ha-ha!"

"Yeah go Jaune/Fearless Leader!" Ruby and Nora both cheered.

Jaune's face turned beet red, but he did appreciate their show of support.

The scene cuts to Mercury and Cinder in a brawler lock

"Impudent... little…" Cinder hissed. Her scouter shows "F**K THIS I'M OUT" before exploding on her face, Cinder grunting in pain.

"Damn, Mercury must actually be pretty strong to make that device off itself," Yang stated.

"Why do you sound so surprised blondie? Still sore about our match up?" Mercury quipped.

"You are so lucky I can't mop the floor with your face." Yang shot back, her eyes flashing crimson.

Mercury and Cinder both back off, producing a small crater due to their power.

"I'm impressed, Mercury. When did you graduate from pull-ups?" Cinder said mocking.

"About the same time you got off the rag." Mercury fired back.

Cinder smirks a bit. "Cute. But bear no false hopes, Mercury. You're a mere paper tiger in front of a storm. You have no idea what true power I possess."

"It's that you can transform, right?"

"I can transform…" Cinder's face's falls. "Okay, when and how?"

"Guldo told me."

A flashback of a conversation between Mercury and Guldo appears

"So... Did you know that Cinder can transform?" Guldo said.

"Huh. That right?" Mercury said disinterested.

"Yeah. And Burter's gay."

"Really!?" Mercury asked, genuinely surprised

(back to present)

"And then I threw a dog treat at him. True story."

"That's so rude!" said the collective voices of Ruby, Weiss, Velvet, and Fiona.

"Oh cry me a river, I lost my conscience long ago." Mercury replied back.

"Right. But if you are so aware, why do you persist in goading me?" Cinder question raising an eyebrow.

Mercury grinned viciously."Because Cinder. You're not dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore. I am a Super Saiyan!"

….

"A what?" Oscar asked.

Cinder rolls her eyes at this apparently hearing this before. "Oh, here we go!"

"That's right, Cinder. I've arisen beyond the limits of a normal Saiyan, and into the realm of legend- the legend that you fear. The legend known throughout the entire universe as the most powerful warrior to ever exist!" Cinder starts speaking faintly at this point alongside him. "I, Prince Mercury, have become a..". Cinder cuts him off

"...Super Saiyan. Blah, blah, blah, blah, I get it. Then you slayed the Jabberwocky and went on to save Narnia." She clearly wasn't taking him seriously.

"Wow! This Super Saiyan sounds awesome!" Yang concluded. Her sister as well as Jaune, Nora, Oscar and Ren. What? He could like things.

"Thanks for the praise Blondie." Mercury said.

"Yeah something tells me your alternate is way too overestimating himself." Emerald stated.

"You're just jealous you're not a Super Saiyan." Mercury shot back, unfazed by her earlier remark. Causing Emerald to roll her eyes.

While the name seemed silly to the more mature members of the audience, they too were intrigued by the tale of this being.

"Go ahead and mock me, Cinder, but I'm not afraid of you. So why don't you doll yourself up and get ready for a night on the town, because I'm about to take you to a ballroom blitz."

"Fine. I'll indulge you, Mr. Super Saiyan. But before I do I have a funny little story I'd like to tell you."

"Funny how?"

"I like to call it, "I killed your dad"."

"...Was that supposed to shock me?" Mercury questioned.

Mercury stares at Cinder blankly. "So "ha-ha" funny."

"You see, thanks to a rogue lower-class warrior, your father caught wind of my plans…"

(flashback to planet Mercury)

A saiyan runs up to What seemed to be Marcus Black

"King Mercury, I have urgent news!"

"Speak, Butarega." King Marcus/Mercury said in a booming tone.

'Wait why does the old bastard have my name? Eh, guess it doesn't matter. Wait, does that make me a junior?!' Mercury thought.

"Well well, looks like I should call you Junior now. Huh?" Emerald comments, her smirk showing she greatly appreciated this new knowledge.

"I'm not a junior!" Mercury yelled.

"What's that? Couldn't hear you Junior!" Yang joins in on the teasing.

"I'm gonna get back at you both. Just you wait." Mercury growled. Hating how the tables have turned on him.

"Bardock has gone absolutely mad, sire!"

Off-screen someone screamed out: "Cinderrrr!"

"What's all the commotion about?" King Marcus/Mercury asked.

"He's been telling everyone that Cinder plans to destroy Mercury!"

"Wait, my son, the planet, or me?"

BUTAREGA looks at the king for a few moments before answering " ...Yes."

King Marcus/Mercury blasts Butarega away.

"Oh my gods!" Ruby cried out.

She and many others in the audience were shocked that the Saiyan King just killed his subordinate so callously. However, both Salem and Cinder were impressed at the King's show of force.

"Freakin' smartass." King Marcus/Mercury mutters and goes look a the Counselor. "Counselor Obleck, what do you think?"

"Let me tell you what you need to do. You need to sit him down…" Oobleck began.

"Uh-huh." King Marcus/Mercury said nodding his head.

"...you look her dead in the eye…"

"Yes."

" ...and you say, "Don't blow up my planet.""

"What? He can't be serious." Winter remarked.

"It appears that this version of Bart is not as wise or tactful as he is in our world." Ozpin rationalized.

Teams RWBY and JNR pressed 'X' to doubt.

"And you think that will work?" King Marcus/Mercury asked.

"she'd have to be aaaaaaawfully evil if it didn't. And I'm not gonna lie, I like the cut of her jib." Oobleck said with a grin.

"All right, but I want you to take my son, the Prince, off-planet just in case things go south."

"Don't worry, sir. You'll do juuuuuust fine."

"Wait. Hold on a damn minute, the old bastard actually cares about someone other than himself? Yeah like that's legit." Mercury crosses his arms.

Some in the audience looked at the silver haired assassin and just for a moment, they felt sympathy for him.

shifts to King Mercury approaching Cinder,.

"Cinder, can I sit down and have a word with-" King Marcus/Mercury said before Cinder interpreted him.

"SHORYUKEN!" Cinder yelled out, uppercutting King Marcus/Mercury in the jaw, causing the latter to fall back while producing with an echoing scream.

"K.O.! YOU WIN!" A voice yelled out.

"Yatta." Cinder whisper out looking at the king's dead body with grin

"Seems negotiations didn't go as he was expecting." Cinder floated to herself. What she didn't notice was that Mercury had stared at her after that statement was said.

He wasn't sure why but hearing her gloat about killing his dad made him feel… odd. It's probably the popcorn he was eating. Nothing more.

(back to present)

"And then I blew the planet up. The end."

Mercury stares at Cinder confused. "How did you know about the parts you weren't there for?"

Cinder gives a blank stare at Mercury and then proceeds to transform.

"Wow, nice comeback Cinder. Really showed him." Jaune said.

Cinder chose to ignore the blonde fool, she didn't dare waste the energy to acknowledge him.

"Nep, do you feel that?" Oscar asked with a fearful look as Cinder's power grew as her body.

"I taste that!" Neptune screamed a look as fear on his face as well.

Cinder finishes transforming into his second form, a Bigger bulkier form.

"Whoa! She's huge! Like that Hazel guy from Haven!" Nora shouted.

"She sure is..." Emerald didn't know how to feel about this new form of Cinder's. It looked too bulky and tall.

"She kinda looks like a bull with those horns." Ruby noted.

"All done." Cinder smiles a bit looking at all of them satisfied. "And judging by the expression on your face, so are you."

"What...? How?" The usual cockiness in his voice was gone.

"Let's be practical and put a number to that feeling, shall we? Last time I clocked this form it was at... one million." Cinder's smile only grows widener.

The audience didn't know what she meant by that but they determined that it must've meant that she was terrifyingly strong.

Cinder loved it, if only she could feel what that power was like. She might even get drunk from it.

"You're lying!"

"Am I? Am I really?" Cinder sarcastically said, raises her hand and explodes the island that everyone is currently standing on, making an explosion so big that it can be seen from the planet. Cinder is shown standing on what's left of the island.

"Whoa!" Fiona and CVY cried out. This being their first time seeing a destructive force of this magnitude. Whitley also sweat dropped, while he had been pleased with how powerful he was in one of the previous worlds. This was an entirely different kind of power than he thought was ever possible.

"Not impressed!" Mercury yelled off screen. "I can do that, too!"

"Neptune, are you okay?" Oscar asks flying above the destroyed island.

"Yeah, and I've got a Little bow girl right here!" Neptune replied with a grin holding Trifa closely.

Cinder begans sings to. " Peaceful young races with fires on their houses

Millions of voices all silenced like mouses

Watching the cowards bow toward their new king

These are a few of my favorite things "

"Oh great she's singing now, as if this Cinder wasn't terrifying enough." Oscar said while clinging to his seat in fear.

"Is it just me, or is she singing to herself?" Neptune asks but is cut off by Cinder charging at him and impaling him with one of her horns, causing Neptune to drop Trifa.

(Neptune Owned Count: 15)

Neptune screams in pain.

"Oh no!" Ruby cried out. But immediately was off put by the showed counter on the screen.

Some in the audience giggled at the sight of the counter, even if they knew it was wrong.

"Neptune!" Oscar screamed out.

"Well, he's dead." Mercury deadpanned in his head.

"This is... the worst... pai-i-i-in!" Neptune said through gritted his teeth.

"Really? Sure it isn't this?" She looks up and starts shifting her head up and down." Or this? Or this? Or this? Or this? (Neptune Owned Count: 16-21, with two 1Ups coming up in the last two ones)

"Neptune, stop! You're making him stronger!" Oscar pleaded.

"I-can't-help-it!" Neptune screamed.

(Neptune Owned Count: 22-25)

At this point most of the audience were laughing. It was a horribly dark joke, but the presentation was spot on and too hilarious. The huntsmen and huntresses that knew the blue haired boy felt very guilty, but they couldn't stop laughing.

"One down!" Cinder throws Neptune off her horn and towards the lake. "Ah, I think impalement is my favorite way to kill a person."

Oscar begans to shake with rage. "You condescending... sadistic... callous... MOTHERF**KER!"

"Pardon?" Cinder ask with a raised eyebrow but then Oscar attacks Cinder by kicking and punching her in the face before knocking her upward with an uppercut and finally kicks her towards the ground. Oscar then starts charging up an energy blast.

"WHOO! Go Cute Boy Oscar! Woo-woo-woo!" Nora cheered on her newest teammate. His other friends joined in cheering for Oscar's alternate.

Oscar was deeply embarrassed but also very ecstatic that he was able to keep up with the frightening tyrant.

"Oscar SMASH EFFEMINATE ALIEN! Oscar STRONGEST THERE IS!" Oscar thought to himself.

Oscar launches a ki blast directly at Cinder, causing a massive explosion. Oscar is then seen in midair catching his breath. Cinder is seen lying face down on the ground, covered in sand from Oscar's assault.

"Ten points for team ALPN!" Nora cheered.

"Yeah, how's that feel, Cinder?" Mercury yelled out. "Now if you can, why don't you pick your sorry ass up and take on a REAL Saiyan…" Mercury's voice trails off as Cinder is seen getting up with a annoyed look.

"Huh. That happened." She muttered before turning to Mercury. "Mercury, mind sitting right there for just a moment, I need to go play babysitter."

"Oh crap, abort Oscar! Abort!" Jaune called out.

"Think! What would Dad do in this situation?" Oscar began to think to himself in a panic.

A flashback of Sun wearing a backpack showed up.

"Bye, son!" Sun said in the flashback in a big dopey smile.

"Damn it Sun." Blake facepalmed.

"Wow, my other self has some issues." Oscar realizes.

(back to present)

"I'm beginning to think I have issues…" Oscar thought to himself when he got punched by Cinder and hit the ground. He tries to get up, but gets crushed by Cinder's foot.

Cinder turns to grin at the Silver haired man. "So, Mercury. Does this get you angry?"

"It's getting ME angry!" Nora shouts at the screen. Her team, RWBY, Qrow, Ozpin and Winter show the same hostility towards the Cinder in the screen.

Mercury shrugs. "Not really. Kind of a smartass."

Cinder frowns "Well then, why am I even bothering?"

"Because you get off on it?" Mercury said hetaintly.

Cinder grins viciously. "Oh, unbelievably... Huh?" Cinder moves to dodges a disc but her tail gets cut off. She turns to glare at culprit.

"Alright, who has the balls?!" She screams out.

Camera zooms on to Neptune, who is the one responsible for cutting off Cinder's tail. Neptune then turns around and starts repeatedly spanking his butt.

"Kiss my ass, bitch! I'm immortal!"

Cinder growls angrily and flies after Neptune.

"Whoa! Neptune's back up already? I thought he was out for the count!" Yang confused. Happy that he lived but still confused as to how he was back in good shape.

Neptune imitates Curly's whooping sounds while flying away and screams: "Suuuck myy diiii…"

The shifts to Mercury thinking to himself. "How the hell did he get up? Oh, my God, I swear if he used that wish of immortality on himself, I am going to murd... " He stops himself and opens his mouth in shock. And speaks out loud after a short pause. "That... bastard."

"Hahaha-ha-ha! You can't kill an immortal!" Emerald laughed.

"Why are you laughing? Weren't you cheering for Cinder?" Mercury implies.

"I am but I'm also cheering against you." Emerald explains.

"You're despicable, you know that right?" Mercury deadpanned.

The scene shifts to Trifa healing Oscar "Come on... You can't leave me alone here; you're the only one I can talk to!" She mutters to herself.

Oscar eyes open, regaining consciousness."I... you... healed me."

"You are the only one I respect."

"Then why did you heal Neptune?"

"The better question is: why did I tell him he was immortal?"

"Ok where is this girl in real life, I'm starting to like her style." Emerald comments.

"I'm starting to not like this Bow Girl." Weiss concludes.

"Yeah that was kinda mean." Ruby adds.

"But it did give him a helluva confidence boost." Yang points out.

The audience reluctantly agrees with Yang.

Neptune flies back to the battlefield with a huge grin. "Holy crap! Thank God I'm immortal!"

"Actually, I healed you, you idiot!" Trifa said off-screen.

"Wait, so I could have died back there?" Neptune realized with his eyes widing.

"After all that you're just going to tear him down like that!" Weiss shouted.

"Yeah, and unlike the runt and I, you don't get a power boost from it." Mercury replied.

"Hax! I call hax!" Neptune whined.

The audience agreed with Screen Neptune.

"How did you escape?" Oscar asked.

"Oh, it was awesome!" See, She was gaining on me there for a minute, but then I managed to lose her in some crevices, but she kept cutting me off at every pass."

"She didn't just blow it up?" Mercury pointed out?"

"Thought the same thing, but no! So I thought fast and I used the Solar Flare on her!"

"And then you used your Kienzan to cut her in half?" Oscar asked gleefully

"Um…"

Cinder flies back to the battlefield, angrily and screams at them. "I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEAD WHERE MY TAIL USED TO BE!"

"To answer your question, Oscar. No, I did not do that." Neptune muttered.

"Damn seriously? He could have finished her off so easily, it was literally in his grasp." Coco shakes her head.

"Douse this bitch!" Mercury yelled.

Mercury, Oscar, and Neptune fire a barrage of energy blasts at Cinder, covering her in smoke.

"Did we get her?" Neptune asked

"Neptune, we can feel her energy. Why do you bother asking?" Oscar asked back annoyed.

"I'm an optimist."

"You're an idiot." Mercury said, glaring at him.

"You're both wrong. You're dead." Cinder said as the smoke cleared and is shown to be unfazed by the blasts.

"You know what? I'm sick of this." Oscar said, his face hardening. "If I'm gonna die, then I'm gonna go out the same way Jaune would!" He moves in to attack Cinder head-on.

"Oscar, no!" Neptune goes to fly after Oscar.

"No! What are you doing?! Don't go out like my other self!" Jaune shouted clutching his head.

RWBY, ALPN, and Ozpin were clouded in worry.

" No, goddamn it!" Mercury also flies after Oscar when a new figure surrounded by light appears in front of the trio. The light clears, and the figure is revealed to be Jaune.

"M... Mr. Jaune!" Oscar cried out.

"Yes! Fearless Leader is here for the rescue!" Nora cheered.

The Jaune in the audience let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, well, well! I'm legitimately surprised I missed one of you." Cinder smiles a bit. "But that's just fine because I've been working on some jokes. Now tell me if you've heard this one: How many Namekians does it take to-" She gets sent flying by a punch from Jaune.

"Just one." Jaune said stoically.

"GO JAUNE GO!" Ruby screamed.

Most of the audience looked towards her from her outburst, including Jaune who was staring wide eyed at her.

"Er, you know. Smash Tyrant Cinder's no good face." She attempts to save face, throwing out air punches to diffuse the situation.

"...Yeah!" Nora shouted.

#TFS abridged #dbz abridged #team rwby #team alpn #team cem #rwby ruby rose #rwby jaune arc #oscar pine #neptune vasilias #rwby mercury black #yang xiao long #trifa #cinder fall #salem #headmaster ozpin #rwby #rwby fanfiction #look into the multiverse

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chelsfic · 4 years ago

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Five Times Nandor Tried and Failed to Make a New Vampire, and One Time He Succeeded - Guillermo x Nandor fic (one-shot)

WWDITS Masterlist

Summary: Journey into Nandor’s past and discover the real reason he’s been so hesitant to turn Guillermo all these years...

A/N: I hope you enjoy this small offering!! If you like and comment that would make me a very happy little writer creature.

Warnings: Crack, Fluff, Smut, mentions of concubines in Nandor’s human past, Blood drinking...obviously

---

“Truth be told, I’m not feeling my usual plucky, intrepid self.”

Nandor bares his fangs in a nervous smile. He’s sitting stiffly on the chaise in his crypt, fiddling with his rings as the documentary people question him about tonight’s...big event.

The vampire lifts his eyes to the ceiling and exhales before continuing, “It’s just--and I don’t like talking about this, but Guillermo says I need to work on expressing my...feelings--it’s just that in the past I might not always have been... entirely successful in making new vampires.”

There’s a beat of awkward silence during which Nandor casually picks at some lint on his sleeve.

“I mean, there was my nineteenth wife…”

---

Andrakis

Nandor languished in the empty halls of his palace for a week after his thirty-seven wives left. But at a certain point there comes a time to stop moping and start acting. Plus he’d eaten all of the servants and he was a little alarmed by the crowd of peasants outside armed with pitchforks and torches.

So, his new vampiric form was a little problematic. He was now homeless, wifeless and--worst of all--horseless. Driven from his land, Nandor was forced to take refuge from the lethal light of day in whatever haphazard way he could. He snuck into wine cellars. He broke into catacombs. And, most shamefully, he even buried himself in the earth when no other shelter was available. But at least his new state gave him the means to solve one of his problems.

There was no reason that Nandor should have to walk the night alone. He thought he remembered enough of what transpired on the battlefield to be able to turn someone else into a vampire. And as soon as the thought occurred to him he knew there was only one person with whom he wished to share this cursed gift.

Andrakis . His favorite wife. She was sweet and young, with a magnificent ample backside that Nandor loved to squeeze and slap. She had not yet bore him any children but perhaps that was for the best. No messy loose ends for her to leave behind. He knew she would agree for she, alone among his wives, had wept sorrowfully as they rode away.

Nandor used his new vampiric senses to find her. It took months, but eventually he tracked her back to her family home along the Euphrates. He walked through lands scorched and ruined by his own army and he thought about the first time he laid eyes on Andrakis. As he recalled, the town was on fire and his men were pillaging the wealthy houses for gold and jewels. They were also rounding up the attractive, young citizens for...reasons. Nandor took one look at his sweet Andrakis and said, “No! That one is for me and me only!”

So romantic.

He could have kept her as his concubine, but Nandor was infatuated with her sweet, soft spoken ways and her delicious round thighs. He gave her jewels and furs and when he finally returned from the campaign he made her one of his wives. All Nandor’s wives loved him, of course, because if they didn’t he would have their heads chopped off. But it was different with Andrakis. She seemed to truly care. She fretted when he went into battle, insisting that she be the one to help him don his armor. She cried real tears and begged him to be safe and return to her. It really moved him. Also, again, she had a fantastic ass.

The night he, at last, found her, Nandor floated up to her window, scratching at the wooden shutters and calling to her softly.

“My sweet Andrakis! It is I, your husband, Nandor the Relentless! I’ve come to assert my claim on you, cherished one! Do you...want to, maybe, come to the window now and let me inside?”

With his heightened abilities, he could hear her soft gasp and the rustle of fabric as she pushed back her bed coverings and slowly approached the window. Nandor heard her heart racing, the thundering gush of blood flowing through her veins and her trembling breath. He opened his mouth and his eyes rolled back with pleasure as he caught the smell of her blood just on the other side of those thin planks of wood.

“Time to open up, sweet one!” Nandor singsonged, placing his hand on the shutter as if he could reach through and grab her.

“Is it really you, my husband?” Her voice was as soft and sweet as he remembered.

“It is really, really me, Andrakis!”

She unlatched the window and Nandor beamed at the sight of her pretty, round face. That may have been a mistake--he kept forgetting about the fangs--the poor woman took a quick step back and brought her hands to her chest in shock.

“Oh, my Nandi! What has happened to you?” her eyes widened and she took a cautious step toward the window, peeking out over the sill, “You are flying, dear one!”

“Isn’t it great?!” Nandor laughed, kicking his legs out merrily and doing a little twirl. “I thought you might want to join me. You know...with the flying and the eternal life and the--ehm--blood drinking.”

She started to shake her head before he even finished and Nandor’s smile faltered. He rushed back to the window sill and placed his hands there, just on the outside edge of the invisible barrier protecting the home’s occupants.

“Andrakis...I am so lonely. And...and there is no one to help me with my armor or give me a massage when my head hurts. I think you liked being my wife, didn’t you?”

The woman’s eyes flood with tears and she comes even closer, leaning onto the window sill and reaching out a shaking hand to press against his bearded cheek.

“I love you, Nandi! And I am honored to be your wife, always. I will not take another husband, but… Nandor, I am frightened!”

“My honey,” Nandor crooned, laying his forehead against hers as she leaned out the window, “There is nothing to fear. I will protect you forever if you will stay by side.”

---

“...and then I ate her.”

Nandor held his hands out and shrugged his shoulders, “What are you going to do? These things happen, right? No! I was very upset about it for the next eighty years or so. She trusted me to take care of her and I fucking ate her!”

Nandor stares into space for a long moment. He’s had eight centuries to get over the loss of his favorite wife so it’s not grief that shows on his pinched face. It looks more like apprehension and self-doubt. The crew asks a muffled question and he starts as if they’ve woken him from a daydream.

“No...no I do not think I would ever recover if I were to lose control with my Guillermo,” his hands clench into fists on his knees. “I will not lose control.”

There’s more silence and one of the crew members suggests cutting the interview when Nandor continues as if he hasn’t heard them, “Guillermo is strong. He’s a cool, vampire killer guy now. He will be alright. He...he has to be alright.”

---

“Nadja?” Nandor stands at the threshold to her and Laszlo’s crypt, anxiously plucking his fingers in the air. “May I speak with you about something in private? In the fancy room?”

Nadja is braiding her dolly’s hair. There’s something really creepy about that thing that Nandor can’t quite put his finger on. Like it’s always watching him. Yeesh . Nadja rolls her eyes and snaps, “Can’t we talk in here? I’m going to tell Laszlo whatever pig-brained scheme you’re wanting to talk about anyway…”

Nandor glances at Laszlo, hunched over and diddling the keys of his organ with a shit-eating grin, “That’s true, old chap. There are no secrets between me and my sweet mamtam…”

Laszlo winks smarmily and Nandor rolls his eyes, “Please, Nadja! It is just a formality!”

She shrieks in aggravation, accidentally yanking the doll’s hair and then cooing apologetically at the thing. Nandor grimaces uncomfortably.

“Fine, you stupid ostrich. But this better be quick!”

Once he’s properly secured the curtain and made sure to check for eavesdroppers, Nandor lays it out for Nadja. He speaks haltingly and without meeting her eyes.

“So...you see, now that Guillermo and I are...are...more than master and familiar, I am wanting to make him a vampire. But you may have noticed that my past attempts in this area have been a little shaky…”

“Shaky! I think you mean totally fucked up the rotten asshole! Don’t forget you told me all about Babsy the Brainscrambled!”

---

Babaius

Babaius was a little guy he met a couple hundred years after the whole thing with Andrakis. He was a Wallachian painter’s apprentice and he had agreed to do a gratis portrait of Nandor for the practice. The portrait was flat and middling, but what did you want? It was the 16th century and the cool Renaissance shit hadn’t exactly reached the backwoods of Eastern Europe quite yet. More important was the fact that this cute painter guy had managed to ingratiate himself with the apex predator he had unwittingly invited into his home.

Originally, Nandor’s plan was to kill him once the portrait was complete. But the longer he sat there, staring back at the man as he worked with that cute little half-smirk on his face, the longer Nandor had to appreciate his form. Babaius was not as curvy and sensuous as Andrakis. He was taller and leaner. But his lips were pleasantly plump and his fingers long and elegant. Again, Nandor felt the weight of eternal loneliness and he began to wonder.

This time he made sure to feed beforehand. When he arrived at the human’s rooms he found him looking more excited than Nandor had ever seen him.

“It’s complete!” he gushed, grabbing Nandor’s hand and pulling him over to the easel. “Come see!”

Nandor stared at the clumsy, dour-faced rendering of himself and smiled politely. Is this really what I look like? Why is my head so small?

He felt the weight of Babaius’s hopeful eyes on him and schooled his voice into false praise, “Wow! It’s...so...wow! You sure used a lot of...orange on my face, didn’t you? Bold choice…”

“I’m so pleased that you like it, Nandor,” the human’s voice was slightly breathless and he looked up through his lashes coquettishly. Ah ha!

“Yes, well, now that that’s done…” Nandor swept Babaius’s long hair off his shoulder and plucked at the collar of his thin shirt. “Perhaps we could discuss other things…”

“ Oh, yes! ” Babaius trilled, launching himself into Nandor’s arms and frantically dropping kisses on his neck, chin and jaw. “I thought ...but I wasn’t certain… but yes, Nandor! Yes!”

Nandor wrapped his arms around the man’s back and laughed a little at just how easy this was going to be. No mistakes this time. He was completely and totally in control.

---

“Alright, Najda! I get it! I know you have to give them more than just one drop of blood now, okay?”

Nadja nods somberly, “That poor man. Could not even remember his own name after you turned him. What happened to him again?”

“I ripped off his head,” Nandor snaps, sinking into the couch cushions in a sulk. “It was the humane thing to do.”

Nadja squints her eyes trying to remember something, “But wasn’t there someone else after…?”

Nandor’s lips thin into a narrow line and he crosses his arms over his chest with a huff of annoyance, “I suppose you mean Aggy the Shrieker?”

---

Agnes

Agnes was something called a Quaker, which meant that she did not go about wearing a crucifix. She was also highly susceptible to hypnosis. Nandor didn’t think this had anything to do with her Quaking, it was just a nice bonus. She’d served him well for a number of years, procuring a very fine assortment of virgins for him night after night. The good lady was entirely ignorant to the fact that it was she who drew these young innocents to their doom. Nandor erased her memories each time before sending her away. She would hem and cluck along with the other Friends when news of a disappearance reached her ears.

After a few decades, Nandor noticed that her face was starting to turn wrinkly and her movements were not as swift as they once were. The prospect of finding another familiar with a brain as soft and accepting as Agnes’s was a wearying thought. Enough so that he considered, once again, trying his hand at creating a new vampire.

This time it was a sure thing. Agnes appeared at his doorstep that night, like always. At her side was a fresh-faced boy whose blood positively shouted his innocence. Delicious . Nandor would feed first. Then he would just do a quick refresher of Agnes’s hypnosis so that the poor lady did not have a fright once she saw Nandor’s blood stained face. And then a quick nip and plenty of blood. Voila! A new wrinkly-faced vampire baby is born.

The plan was faultless.

---

“And no hypnosis! Alright. Seems nit-picky, but fine!” Nandor grumbles. He seems suddenly to remember that Nadja is helping him and his voice softens, “ Please, Nadja . No more walking on memory street. Just tell me what to do so that I do not hurt Guillermo. I cannot stand the thought of him becoming a shrieker .”

“Nandor, you beautiful giant baby,” Nadja’s face gentles into genuine sympathy. “I’m going to tell you just what to do. Even you won’t be able to mess this up.”

And she does. She tells him how to listen to his human’s heart and count the seconds in between beats, waiting until just the right moment to finish drinking. She advises him to prepare his blood ahead of time, decanting it into a vial or mug. He should not count on Guillermo being conscious enough to suckle from his wrist as he’d originally intended. Pour the blood down his throat if he has to. Once he drinks the blood the transition will begin, but Nandor’s work is not done. He must procure for his new vampire the most succulent of virgin feasts. He must care for him during the sickness. He must watch over him and make sure that the baby vampire does not do anything silly like run out into the sunlight or drink a gallon of holy water.

“You must be resolved and sure in your actions!” Nadja finally says, casting a skeptical glance at the immortal warrior. “You think you can handle all that?”

Nandor sits there looking shell shocked for a moment before twitching his mouth into a forced smile and holding up two thumbs.

“OK-A!”

---

On his way back to his crypt Nandor glances into the camera and leans in conspiratorially.

“She does not even know about Roger the Rocker or Benjy…” he whispers, his lips folding into an embarrassed frown.

---

Roger

During the 1970s Nandor went through a brief but intense love affair with punk rock. Disco would soon supplant the vampire’s fixation on studded leather and the Sex Pistols, but for a few fleeting years he was, truly, insufferable.

“ Fucking goats’ balls ! Nandor! We are trying to have a blood feast in here! Will you turn off that unholy screeching!?” Nadja shouted, blood dripping down her chin as she drew back from the pathetically mewling woman sandwiched between herself and her husband.

Laszlo reared back with a lecherous grin on his bloody lips, “Did I hear you mention something about unholy screeching, my sweet dimplebottom?”

“ Oh, Laszlo! ” Nadja giggled, leaning over the dying victim to latch onto her lover’s mouth.

Nandor slammed the door to his crypt and rolled his eyes, “Don’t mind them, Roger. They’re just a couple of sell-out perverts who don’t understand ay-narchy and non-conformationism.”

Roger was a young human man with spiked green hair and a studded leather vest. He was the coolest familiar Nandor had ever had. He was also an alcoholic and a heavy drug user and half the time he didn’t even do what Nandor asked of him. But once he explained about “the man” and toppling “the system”...well, Nandor still didn’t get it but he was impressed! He felt that Roger would bring a certain rebellious youth to their cohort that might give them a cutting edge in these modern times.

The problem was that Nandor had never tried drug blood before. It didn’t hit him until Roger was half-drained but then the world spun off its axis. Nandor ripped his face away from Roger’s savaged neck, stumbling backward and falling down hard on his ass. The vampire exploded into a fit of giggles as the familiar twitched limply on the floor beside him.

“Roger! I am ball tripping!” Nandor laughed, turning his head to look at his friend, “Whoopsie! Almost forgot! Time for a little drinky, Roger…”

Nandor tore into his own wrist, ripping a jagged wound open with his fangs and smearing the gore over Roger’s lips and chin.

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” Nandor cackled, falling back down and letting his wrist fall limp against the human’s mouth. He started singing softly under his breath, “Ayyyynarchy and the U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!”

In the end Nandor was so high he went to his slumber completely forgetting about the moaning, half-turned man on the floor of his crypt. He woke the next night to find Roger wandering around the front lawn, sun-burned and hideously deformed. He also had no memory of who Nandor was or anything at all about his human life.

Nandor wouldn’t see him again until decades later when he caught the skeevy creep trying to take a bite out of Guillermo at the Sassy Cat Club. Nandor was so spooked to see the evidence of his past failure standing next to his most cherished human companion that he...perhaps handled the incident in a less-than-totally-gallant manner.

---

Benjy

Benjy...to be honest, Nandor isn’t entirely sure what came of the old clunker. He turned him and dumped him. Maybe not his finest moment but...Nandor had other things on his mind at the time…

---

Guillermo

The moment that Guillermo flew to their rescue at the Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires, Nandor felt something shift inside his chest. It was an actual physical sensation like a key turning in a lock. How many years had he spent building moats, walls and fortresses between himself and his handsome, caring, devoted, achingly good familiar in order to protect his sweet innocence from the poison that was Nandor the Relentless? And all along he’d been underestimating him! Nandor watched Guillermo twirl, kick, punch and stake his way through a theater full of angry vampires. In the end he stood alone on a mountain of conquered enemies, covered in blood and heaving with the adrenaline of battle.

Nandor had never been more aroused.

He was silent and brooding on the drive home. He sat in the passenger seat and kept flicking his eyes in Guillermo’s direction, hoping to catch his gaze. But his ex-familiar kept his eyes fixed on the road, his face a storm cloud of some scary-looking emotion that Nandor couldn’t name. The vampire felt unease crawl up his spine. Was he planning to leave again as soon as he dropped them off at the house?

Nandor cringed in embarrassment as he watched the look of disappointment cross Guillermo’s features at the sight of the wrecked foyer. Dead bodies littered the floor, candle wax and blood stained every surface. He was overcome with shame and humiliation that they had made such a mess of the home Guillermo had toiled to maintain for eleven years.

Guillermo stood awkwardly in the front doorway, not quite inside and not quite outside, hovering on the threshold of their home. It was their home , wasn’t it? Nandor’s eyes flicked to the sad, dirty mattress in the cupboard beneath the stairs and he silently cursed himself. It’s possible he may not have made this quite a happy home for Guillermo.

“I’ll just...go now…” Guillermo’s voice was soft and uncertain again, as if he hadn’t just committed a bad ass massacre.

“No!” the word strangled from Nandor’s throat and he lurched forward, raising his hand to stop the human. For a split second he was completely unguarded and the raw desperation in his voice and on his face froze Guillermo in his tracks. Then Nandor’s eyes shifted to his fellow vampires, feeling the weight of their stares and he continued in a closer approximation to his usual haughty authority, “I would speak with you a moment. In private.”

Once the door to his crypt clicked shut Nandor rounded on Guillermo, taking him by the shoulders and pressing him into the heavy wooden door. He loomed over the human for a moment, fangs bared, breathing raggedly as he scented him. Guillermo’s intoxicating, virginal aroma was mixed with the tang of his enemies’ blood. The irresistible fragrance threatened to overcome the vampire and he let out a pitiful mewling cry as he pressed even closer. Nandor’s forehead thunked against the door and his body was flush with Guillermo’s. Now he would know . The hard, bulging evidence of Nandor’s arousal was pressed into the human’s soft thigh-- unmistakable . Nandor keened a sob and his body went boneless as he fell to his knees in supplication before the human.

“Guillermo, please!” Nandor sobbed.

Guillermo stood as if paralyzed, staring back at his former master with shocked, wide eyes. Nandor felt broken, like one of those colorful donkeys split open and pouring out his guts. He did not exactly know what it was he wanted. Everything about this moment was highly uncomfortable. For one thing, the floor was very hard and hurty on his knees. For another thing, his erection was straining painfully in his pants. Also, he was realizing for the first time in his long, long life that there existed a person whom Nandor loved more than himself. And he was desperately, mortally afraid that Guillermo would leave him again.

“What is it, master?” Guillermo flinched at the slip up but he pressed on, his eyes burning with earnest intensity. “What do you want?”

Nandor had known the answer to this question for eleven years. He knew it the first time he laid eyes on the sweet, plump mortal working the panini press at Panera Bread. He knew it the first time Guillermo graced him with his smile after Nandor showed him his fangs. He knew it when Guillermo came to live with them, hauling his rolly luggage case up the front steps and shaking with nerves and excitement. He knew it when he spent hours crafting his familiar’s sweet face from glitter. He knew it when Guillermo cried, silently begging Nandor to give him a reason to stay. He’d known it in a thousand different ways for a thousand different reasons and he’d keep knowing it for a thousand years, long after the flicker of Guillermo’s short human life extinguished.

“You,” Nandor’s voice was a broken whisper. “I want you, Guillermo.”

The air expelled from Guillermo’s lungs in a shaky gasp as he fell to his knees as well. He took the vampire’s face in his warm little hands and Nandor had to remind himself that those were hands capable of plunging a wooden stake through his heart. The very thought sent another wave of lust through him.

Guillermo’s lips trembled and his eyes flooded with tears as he spoke, “If you’re just saying that to manipulate me…”

Nandor grabbed Guillermo’s wrists, circling them with his long fingers, keeping him from removing his hands from Nandor’s face.

“No, Guillermo. I--I have not been a good master to you…” Nandor gulped, fighting years of careful control in order to get the words out. “I’ve lied to you many, many times. Made you think that you were just a servant to me. I thought that I was protecting us both. But...really I was hurting you. When you left me I...I…”

Nandor’s voice trailed off and Guillermo allowed it, not wanting to push his fragile vampire too far.

“If we’re going to do this, I need to know. I need to know what exactly you want from me, Nandor. Because I know what I want. I’ve known for eleven... fucking years,” Guillermo’s voice hardens toward the end and Nandor feels himself go weak. His little Guillermo...so forceful and strong!

Suddenly the human was leaning in and brushing his lips over Nandor’s. It was the barest, gentlest hint of a kiss but it felt like a live wire touching his skin. Nandor’s eyes drifted closed and he saw stars as Guillermo pushed his tongue between his lips and plundered his mouth. Oh, why had he forced them to wait so long for this?

Guillermo pulled back, the combination of his blushing cheeks and the splatter of blood along his jaw was a powerful image. Nandor whined, following Guillermo’s movement and pecking kisses to the man’s mouth.

“Nandor, wait! Stop!” There was mirth in Guillermo’s eyes but a fragile uncertainty as well. “I need you to tell me this is what you want. That I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and find you pretending this never happened. Things have to change if we’re...if we’re going to do this.”

Nandor nodded frantically, pawing at his human’s face as unmanly tears spilled from his eyes and rolled into the whiskers of his beard.

“Yes! Please! I want this. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You’re brave and strong and cool and beautiful and I lo--” Nandor’s mouth snapped shut and his dark eyes widened in fear at the words that almost slipped out. But when he took in his human’s guarded yet hopeful expression he growled and forced them out. “I love you, Guillermo.”

Guillermo choked on a sob and his face crumbled rather alarmingly.

“I love you so fucking much you stupid asshole,” he replied.

Nandor scowled, “Hey! There’s no need for all that!”

But before he could work himself up to being truly affronted, Guillermo launched himself at him, knocking Nandor over backwards and attacking his face with his mouth.

“Things are going to change,” Guillermo repeated between open-mouthed kisses along Nandor’s bearded jaw.

“Yes!”

“I’m not gonna dig graves for you anymore or polish your boots!”

“...Alright.”

“And,” Guillermo ripped open the fly of Nandor’s trousers, eliciting a delighted howl from the vampire, “you’re going to make me a vampire.”

---

“So tonight is the night!” Nandor injects false levity into his voice as he strides down the hallway carrying a stack of towels on one arm. The camera shakes as the crew follows behind him.

“I’ve made all of the arrangements! We have a juicy virgin in the cell…”

The camera peaks into a dimly lit closet where a young man is bound and gagged. Across his forehead giant block letters spell out: “DO NOT EAT! GUILLERMO’S VIRGIN FEAST!”

“I’ve decanted plenty of my blood…”

Nandor holds up a mason jar filled with thick, dark crimson liquid as he mounts the stairs.

“I’ve got the towels and Guillermo has a first aid box ready…”

He finally arrives at the door to the big, blue bedroom and turns around to face the camera with an apologetic smile.

“ Vampires only! ” He slams the door in their faces.

Once the door closes behind him Nandor lets out a long breath and his head falls back to hit the wood with a loud thunk. He lets the facade drop for just a second and the cloying anxiety and terror of what he is about to do rises to the surface. Then Guillermo looks up at him from where he’s sitting up on his big new bed and Nandor forces a cheery smile.

“Who’s ready for their unholy transformation?!” he warbles, shaking the jar of blood in his hand.

Guillermo grins, coming over to stand before him in all his warm, soft, human grandeur. Nandor drops his head and plucks at the sleeve of his ex-familiar’s thick, stripy sweater. He hopes that Guillermo will not think himself too cool to wear such garments once he is a vampire. He’s grown to love Guillermo’s simple human clothes.

“Nandor…” Guillermo takes the jar and the towels from him, setting them down on his bureau next to the collection of wooden stakes and crucifixes. “You don’t have to pretend. I’m scared too.”

The vampire lets out a breath and tugs his human into his chest, wrapping him in a fierce, suffocating hug. He lets his cheek rest on top of Guillermo’s dear head. Guillermo clings to the front of Nandor’s long tunic, pressing his face into the rich, embroidered fabric and wetting it with his tears.

“It’ll be okay,” Guillermo comforts Nandor, his voice trembling with emotion. In the short weeks since the incident at the theater and since their relationship took such a sharp turn in the right direction, Guillermo has been shocked and pleasantly surprised to find how dramatically the dynamic between them has changed. Guillermo isn’t just Nandor’s equal now. He’s his touchstone, his protector, and his deeply cherished lover.

“You don’t know that, Guillermo,” Nandor sniffles. “What if I brainscramble you like I did to Ba...Baba...Bambie?”

“Babaius?” Guillermo prompts, pulling back from the embrace enough to lock eyes with the weepy vampire. Nandor has told him his whole sorry history of failures and abominations. It was Guillermo’s idea for Nandor to seek out Nadja’s guidance. And though he’s nervous and frightened about his transition...there is no one else in the world from whom Guillermo would accept this gift. “You won’t scramble my brains, Nandor. I trust you.”

The soft cry that Nandor makes at those words cuts to Guillermo’s soul.

Nandor sniffs and attempts to pull himself back together. He speaks confidently, as if his words are an incantation that will somehow conjure success, “Well, of course you trust me, Guillermo. I’m a very strong, cool vampire. There’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to make another vampire when a freaky pervert like Nadja is doing it all over the place.”

Guillermo snorts and pulls Nandor in for another quick squeeze before drawing away toward the bed, “Should we…?”

“Yes...oh! Wait!” Nandor grabs the towels off the bureau, hissing when he accidentally grazes a crucifix with his hand. He hurries forward and starts laying them down on top of Guillermo’s thick comforter. “I don’t want your nice, new bed to get ruined.”

Guillermo smiles warmly as he watches his ex-master’s efforts.

“Well...it’s not like I’ll be sleeping on it anymore after tonight…” he murmurs, causing Nandor to think about the shiny new coffin sitting next to his downstairs.

Nandor shrugs, “No...but we might--you know--do other things on the bed still…”

He smooths his hands over the towels and retrieves the jaw of blood, placing it within easy reach on the nightstand before climbing onto the bed and stretching out in an unintentional come-hither pose. Nandor’s soft, long locks fall over his shoulders and his big, dark eyes look up at Guillermo with longing and terror. He pats the spot beside him on the bed.

Guillermo clambors up after him, stretching out at his side and letting his head fall into the mountain of pillows that Nandor had insisted on purchasing for him after their...reconciliation. He smiles shyly and looks up at the vampire, his cheeks turning bright red.

“Is it alright if we...do some of those ‘ other things ’ first?” he asks, dancing his fingers over Nandor’s tunic. “You know...my last time as a h-human?”

The stutter in Guillermo’s voice interrupts Nandor’s contented perusal of his human’s delicious body and he meets the man’s eyes. Guillermo’s cheeks are irresistibly red and his lips are parted slightly with lust. But his eyebrows are all crinkled and there are still some tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. Nandor can’t really relate to Guillermo’s fear. When he was turned he was in the middle of dying on the field of battle. He didn’t have a clue what was happening when the strange vampire descended upon him. What would it feel like to go into it knowingly? To place his life in the hands of the one that he loved knowing there was a chance that things might go terribly wrong?

Guillermo is incredibly brave.

“Yes, my Guillermo,” Nandor cries, leaning in and pressing their mouths together in a desperate kiss. “Anything you want.”

They take their time with the kiss, lips and tongues sliding and probing as they clumsily undress each other. By the time they’re both naked the floor of Guillermo’s bedroom is littered with discarded items of clothing and the towels on the bed are askew. Guillermo throws his leg over Nandor’s thick waist and straddles the man, their aching erections rubbing together as he leans down to trail kisses across Nandor’s hairy chest.

Nandor throws his head back in the pillows, his hair tangling as he writhes underneath Guillermo. He will miss the feeling of his human’s impossible warmth. The way his kisses seem to sear a blazing path over Nandor’s cold skin. The way his silky smooth rod pulses with molten heat. The feeling of plunging inside Guillermo’s fiery, grasping tightness. Nandor curses himself, yet again, for not allowing them both to have this sooner.

Guillermo’s hips rise and fall as he strokes himself against Nandor. The air between them grows humid with their breath and the room fills with the sounds of whimpers and moans. Guillermo places a hand on Nandor’s chest for balance and he leans over to his nightstand to grab the small bottle of lube sitting there.

He holds it aloft and says, as if reading Nandor’s mind, “Do you want to feel me one last time before…?”

Nandor’s lips split into a grin and he grabs the tube from his human’s hand, nodding fervently as he drips the liquid onto his fingers. He’s careful and gentle with his Guillermo, mindful of how new this still is for him. He reaches between his delicious thighs and slides his wet fingers around until he finds what he’s looking for, pressing gently and then more firmly as Guillermo opens up for him.

Guillermo’s breath escapes him and he presses down on Nandor’s fingers with a wanton cry, riding him needily. Once he’s ready, Nandor pours out more liquid, slicking his cock and grasping Guillermo’s hips to move him into position.

“Are you ready, Guillermo?” he asks and the words take on an added meaning with the knowledge of what’s to come hovering in the air between them.

Guillermo senses Nandor’s seriousness in the moment and he meets his eyes, smiling softly before replying, “Yes, Nandor. I’m ready. Really .”

The sex is a revelation and a comfort. Falling into Guillermo is like coming home. It’s like finally finding the place he was always meant to be. Even 700 years ago when Nandor was a ruler in his prime, he never felt this level of peace and belonging. He watches his beautiful, strong, brave human fall apart on top of him. They take turns setting the pace. Guillermo bounces frantically in Nandor’s lap until the vampire grabs his hips and holds him still so he can thrust upward, slowly and tenderly. He penetrates deep until Guillermo is near tears and the human’s poor erection is leaking copiously onto Nandor’s soft belly.

Nandor finally releases his hold on Guillermo’s hips and wraps his hand around his erection, pumping up and down quickly as he bounces the man on his own cock.

“I’m close, Guillermo,” he whispers, stroking the human rapidly to edge him along. “Come with me. Please!”

They fall over the precipice together, panting and clinging as their bodies quake with the intensity of their love making. Guillermo collapses on Nandor’s chest and the vampire wraps his arms around him automatically, soothingly running his palms down his lover’s sweaty back as he twitches and catches his breath.

“You’re getting very good at that, Guillermo,” Nandor murmurs with a hint of teasing in his voice.

Guillermo snorts, “Yeah, I think you’ve almost got the hang of it, too, Nandor.”

Nandor laughs and smacks his behind playfully, “Do not be thinking that just because you’re going to be a vampire you can start being so cheeky with me! I’m still seven hundred and twenty-eight years older than you, mortal.”

Guillermo grins and hums in response, pillowing his head into Nandor’s broad chest with a contented sigh.

After a little while, Nandor shifts Guillermo off of him and lays him down on the bed with a gentle reverence. He picks up one of the towels and uses it to carefully clean him, dabbing between his legs and swiping over his soft stomach. Nandor takes his time, his face turning dark and serious as he contemplates what comes next.

When he’s finally finished he says, almost shyly, “There’s just one more thing I want to do first…”

Nandor stretches out at Guillermo’s side and rests his head over the human’s chest, directly over his beating heart. His hair fans out over Guillermo’s flushed skin and the human brings his fingers up to toy with it as Nandor listens.

Thump...thump...thump…

How many nights has Nandor awoken in his coffin, still gripped by the horror of a half-remembered nightmare and listened for that comforting sound to lull him back to sleep? How often has he heard that steady rhythm interrupted when Nandor did something that particularly stirred his familiar’s illicit attraction? How many thousands of beats has he taken for granted over the years? Soon that steady tattoo will cease forever. Nandor feels panic grip him but he reminds himself that things will be different this time. Guillermo will come back to him as he always does.

He does not feel ready but the hours are ticking away and he’d like to finish this well before dawn. Nandor shuffles up the bed, leaning on an elbow and letting his hair cascade down around Guillermo’s face. He brushes his thumb over his lips, caresses his jaw line and the ridge of his brow. He’s memorizing the way his beloved looks right now, flushed with life.

“Guillermo, I want you to know that even if I do scramble your brains--which I won’t!--but even if I do, I will take care of you forever,” Nandor says, his eyes wide and earnest. “I’ll never abandon you or rip off your head. That’s a promise.”

Guillermo should scoff or snort or roll his eyes but instead he sobs and beams up at Nandor as he answers, “I know, baby. I’ll never leave you or rip off your head either. I promise.”

Nandor nods and his dark eyes shift to focus on the crook of Guillermo’s neck. His skin is still slicked with the cooling sweat of their coupling and Nandor can see his pulse jumping in his throat. He opens his mouth in a hungry leer and his fangs elongate slightly.

“This will hurt, Guillermo,” his voice is dark and menacing, but also mournful. “I am sorry.”

He snakes a hand behind Guillermo’s neck and cradles his head to the side as he lowers his mouth to his vulnerable throat. He hovers there for a moment and marvels at the way his lover’s body surrenders so sweetly to him. Guillermo is soft and loose in his arms, the perfect victim. Nandor banishes that word from his mind. Guillermo, sweet, sensitive, competent, strong, scary, loving, powerful Guillermo. He is not a victim. He plunges his fangs into his human’s soft neck and takes from him the sweetest gift Guillermo has ever given.

Nandor’s terror and anxiety melt away as the blood pours over his tongue and down his throat. He has always known that Guillermo would taste delicious but this is ridiculous. He tastes like the joy of riding John over an open plain, he tastes like the excitement of watching the Dream Team do battle on the basketball court, and, most of all, he tastes like Guillermo. Like fuzzy knit hats and secret smiles and quiet evenings playing chess. Like longing and hunger and wistful pain. Like strength and desire and the thrill of conquest. Nandor drinks deeply, memorizing the flavor as his lover goes more and more limp in his arms.

He listens, once more, to the beating of that heart, just as Nadja said to do. He waits like Guillermo used to do, listening to the pops while he was making his corn kernel snack in the multiwave machine. Once the rhythm begins to slow Nandor pulls back, licking his lips and scrambling for the jar of blood on the nightstand.

He gathers Guillermo into his arms and the human moans low in his throat. Nandor feels unadulterated joy at the sound. He is still here . But when he looks down at his human’s pale, ashen face, a sob tears free from his throat. His lustrous, brilliant Guillermo diminished to such a drab reflection… Nandor mentally slaps himself and unscrews the jar, bringing it to Guillermo’s pale lips.

“Time for your snack now, Guillermo,” Nandor’s voice shakes. He strokes his fingers through the human’s curly hair as he lifts his head and begins to tip the contents of the jar into his open mouth.

Nothing happens for a small eternity. Nandor watches the blood pool in his lover’s mouth and spill out the sides of his lips with a feeling of increasing helplessness.

“Guillermo? Can you still hear me? It’s time to start drinking so you can become a cool vampire just like me and your friend, Armand…”

Guillermo’s eyes are closed and his body is unnaturally still.

“Please drink, Guillermo! I’m going to be very cross with you if you do not!”

His skin looks waxy and he feels heavier in Nandor’s arms. The vampire tugs him further into his lap and clutches him to his chest, tears falling onto the eerily calm face.

“Guillermo, you said you wouldn’t leave me again, please! ”

Guillermo swallows. Nandor watches with a giant, goofy grin on his face as the man’s throat bobs and the blood disappears from his mouth. He brings the jar back up to his lips and continues to hand feed him, taking comfort in the way Guillermo’s lips purse as he drinks down the vampire’s life-giving blood.

“That’s it, my cherished one,” Nandor says, slipping into endearments he used several lifetimes ago. “Drink, sweet honey. And don’t ever fucking scare me like that again !”

Guillermo snorts as he drains the dredges from the jar, blood bubbles forming on his lips as they curve into a smile. Nandor watches, his eyes wide and wondering, as Guillermo’s eyes flutter open and he feels a sense of intense relief when he recognizes that smile as the same one he fell in love with eleven years ago. Only...you know...with the fangs and the blood stains…

---

“So, I’d say it was a marked success!” Nandor shouts into the camera a few nights later. “Of course, there was a lot of vomiting and achy-pains in the beginning...but once that passed and he drank some human blood everything was OK-A! Isn’t that right, Guillermo?”

The camera zooms out to include Guillermo in the shot. He’s sitting next to Nandor on the chaise, their hands clasped together between them. His skin tone is very much the same although without the lively blush that used to grace his cheeks. He’s noticeably in tact, no pointed ears or deformities and seemingly in full possession of his brains.

He smiles and the camera zooms in on his newly minted fangs.

“ A-OK , Nandor,” he corrects in an affectionate tone. He leans over and kisses the immortal warrior on the cheek.

Nandor, still unused to public displays of affection, smiles nervously and answers with a roll of his eyes, “As I said, Guillermo!”

#nandor x guillermo #guillermo x nandor #nandermo #nandor x guillermo fanfic #wwdits #wwdits fanfic #smut

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bittercoldbrew · 3 years ago

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PLEASE tell me about the alien plant girls im so gay for anthropomorphic fem plants

omg thank you SO MUCH for asking and i apologize in advance for the infodump because i have been thinking about these alien plant people for literal years now, i love them so much. I first started thinking about these guys a little after TFA, because of an oc i was working on for a lil star wars fic that i have mostly abandoned by now--so sorry to the like 3 people who were reading my sidon ithano fic but tlj/tros really killed whatever passion i had for the franchise for a good long time :/ but Mando is great so i've been thinking about them'st again...

anyway i am sticking this under a cut because a) im very attached to these characters and if someone steals my shit i will kermit and b) sweet jesus this got so long, i am so sorry

in the SW universe at least, these plant people (that i still for the life of me cannot settle on an actual name for) were the primary inhabitants of a dwarf planet way out in wild space; they had a pretty symbiotic relationship with a race of sentient insectoid people (basically human-sized bees) who could travel between the planet and their home on one of its three moons (affectionately called the Honey Moon). what the plants didn’t know was that the bees were also able to travel to different planets, and had been doing so for a couple centuries before everything went to shit--but we’ll get to that in a bit.

the plant people weren’t particularly interested in the galaxy around them--they had a decent understanding of astronomy and cosmology, but little cultural interest in journeying to the stars. since the planet was pretty small and distant from the galactic core, it was pretty rare that a visiting ship would even pass them by, and scanners didn’t register them as genuine life-forms separate from the natural flora, so even if someone happened to end up out there it’s not the sort of place anyone would really choose to land. on rare occasions, a pirate or smuggler would try to hide out on what they thought to be an unoccupied planet, and would return to the Outer Rim with tales of mobile, sentient trees and bizarre, organic cities found on some uncharted world; likewise, occasionally a plant person would turn up at the local bar with tales of crashed space-ships and strange aliens that seemed almost like people. neither would ever be taken seriously.

the plants aren’t a particularly verbal people. they understand spoken language (a somewhat-modified Basic, at least, which is what the bees speak hmm i wonder where they picked that up from) and many can talk, but most don’t really bother learning to do so. mostly they rely on an ESP-like combo of pheromones and body language, highly attuned to the point that it’s essentially a kind of telepathy. i think i mentioned in the tags on that post that my character Antheia is sorta kinda a jedi? for these people, force sensitivity tends to manifest as an extra-extra-sensory-perception that causes you to be hyperaware of every living thing in your environment, not just the other sentient ones.

this made her uhhh extremely off-putting as a youth, easily distractable and often disinterested in the other people in the small community she grew up in, where she was already pretty disliked to begin with. there’s quite a lot of diversity among the plant people (a wide variety of skin tones/textures and body types, though few if any secondary sex characteristics; four limbs are most common, though occasionally some have two or more sets of arms; different types of leaves/vines/blossoms/etc in lieu of hair), and though they have a barter-based economy there’s still a lot of classism that’s mostly based around lineage (and thus evinced by one’s appearance and the traits one manifests). to protect (or attempt to bolster) those lineages, prospective parents can apply for a spot in a nursery, where their offspring are propagated and tended--mostly just through infancy before going to live with parents, though sometimes longer, and the very high class have private nurseries that will do all the rearing so they don’t have to.

But, on very rare occasions, certain wild plants will spontaneously develop sentience, and even more rarely will survive on their own long enough to find their way to a community. Hundreds of years ago (or “before the bees could speak”, which is their version of “once upon a time”), these spontaneous growths were revered and cherished, and whoever was first to encounter one would see it as a great honor to be responsible for their care and upbringing. now, with a much more striated society, these “weeds” (derogatory) are considered inferior, feral, dangerous. fortunately for Antheia, the man who found her, tangled in marsh reeds under the light of the Honey Moon, didn’t buy into any of that bullshit. he was a really sweet dad, very attentive and doting on his increasingly-strange adopted daughter; they were very close. but the older she got, the more her unusual ability developed, and the more he realized he was well out of his depth to help her understand that part of herself. eventually, she’s sent away to a kind of temple/convent for other people like her, where she’s trained to hone and control her extra senses, rather than be overwhelmed by them.

many years later, the sudden appearance of several large starships in their atmosphere turns their society on its head. it turns out, the bee-people have been traveling to other planets, forging alliances, brokering deals; they claim they just want to facilitate inter-planetary trade. Antheia is among the first to mistrust these invading aliens and their fleet of well-armed droids who seem hell-bent on mining their planet (which is, apparently, rich with cortosis, which--thank you wookiepedia--is apparently capable of repelling lightsabers and blasterfire alike). She flees her convent, joins up with an underground network of resistance fighters, discovers that her hyperawareness makes her a truly formidable force on the battlefield, and helps lead her people in defending the sovereignty of their home. And then things take a turn for the worse...but we don’t need to get into that right now.

ANYWAY.

my other oc, Shoal, is from the same planet but not even remotely star-warsy; either from a different time period well before the droid incursion, or just like an AU of my own stuff, idk. but she’s great, i love her deeply even though i dont really know what i even want to do with her yet. i mostly just was thinking about what a normal, average person in this world would be like, but then i got too attached. she’s also one of the spontaneous “weeds”, a semi-aquatic plant girl that washed up on a sandbar that occasionally connects a small island with the mainland when the tide is out. she was sort of “found” by multiple people at the same time, since they were making their way across to go trade goods at the mainland market, so to avoid the confusion of who should be responsible for her, she’s just sort of raised by the village as a whole. they name her Shoal, since that’s where they found her (it started as a joke, but then no one could agree on anything else to call her so it just sort of...stuck).

she grows up without realizing that it’s a pretty unusual upbringing. as a teen, she gains the reputation for the island’s best fisher (it helps that she can breathe as well underwater as above, and she’s always been a good swimmer). one thing that’s pretty consistent among all the plant people are their teeth--they all have long, sharp incisors and canines because sexy and also as more of a defense mechanism than a dietary one. they don’t eat much, typically absorbing nutrients from the sun/water/air/soil (mud baths are such a beloved experience, like for the most part they are very dignified people but find them some good mud and they will wallow for days) but when they do it’s pretty meat-heavy. they don’t really enjoy the process of eating very much, especially because they don’t have much gut bacteria so they typically have to swallow some stones to break up their food and nobody wants to do all that. but, at least in the coastal towns near where Shoal grew up, fresh-caught fish is considered a delicacy, and they can trade for quite a lot in return.

as she gets older, though, she starts getting restless. she loves her village, but it’s all she’s ever really known. also, it is so hard to even consider dating when literally everyone your age is practically your sibling, i mean, yeesh. so one day she just packs her bags and says her goodbyes and waits for low tide, then sets off to find her own way in the great wide world. she stops wherever she can, sees everything she can, but eventually settles down working at a tavern in a medium-sized town that’s mostly acclaimed for being a crossroads between bigger and better places. she likes it there, likes getting to know lots of new people and hearing about someone else’s travels more than she actually liked traveling herself. after a few years, the tavern-keeper retires and decides to leave the place to her, and she finds she’s become a permanent fixture in this new community. that’s really all i have for her so far, and i have no idea whether i’ll ever actually do anything with this character lol, but still she is very precious to me so i hope i find a story she’d be a good match for sometime soon.

#my ocs #oh my god this is...way too much i am so sorry #the sad thing is this is me trying to restrain myself there was more i wanted to talk about for both #and still i somehow wrote like 1500 words of backstory orz #but yeah i am hoping to have a bit about antheia and mando written up soonish if anyone is interested?? 👀👀#and wow i really wanna write something with shoal i just. dont know what that something is yet #ugh #thedragonagelesbian #thank you so much for indulging me anthropomorphic plant girls are SUCH an underutilized monster girl its so sad #but i am doing my part to rectify that injustice

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yuvon-writes-letters · 3 years ago

Note

[The front of the letter is faintly smudged in blood]

To all,

[there are drops in this part of the paper, as if the pen was held there for awhile before Skie started to write] He’s not in any, immediate danger, per say.

I’m sorry, I exaggerated the sentence. His life isn’t in any danger, but, if he doesn’t get himself together [the sentence cuts off there randomly]

I can’t say, it’s his own secret to tell, I apologize. I will assure you however, that he isn’t in any immediate danger.

Now, as an update.

Apparently, Rai was contacted awhile ago, by the entity.

They demanded that Rai would stop lying about, them spreading the flowers. After he admitted he was wrong, they actually talked, and apparently figured out that another entity (Flower) was the one who sent out the lilies.

Apparently the crayon that Rai sent had something to do with the entity.

I apologize that this news took so long to send to you, I was so focused on giving Rai the break, that I completely ignored that he had news to share, but we shouldn’t focus on that now.

Your entity’s reach apparently is a lot weaker then Flower’s, sending a fake $20 bill apparently took a lot out of them, Flower was easily able to send lethal supernatural lilies through the veil, ones that were legitimately solid.

Clearly, Flower is the more experienced and stronger of the two.

Going back to the crayon, maybe the crayon was an opening for the entity to send off the flowers, your entity wouldn’t have asked about the crayon if it didn’t have something to do with Flower.

The crayon, was red, and when you received it, it was, green yellow brown something? Maybe the color change had something to do with it…

Besides that, there was [the sentence from there is smudged, but, wrong. It wasn’t like the ink itself was smudged, but every time you tried to comprehend the rest of the sentence, the meaning almost seemed to slip out of to your brain. You, think the sentence is words? Is it words? Is that even a sentence?? What’s going on?]

That itself is indeed very worrying, but Lis is surrounded by people who care about her deeply. While they might not be able to stop the self-blaming, I’m sure they will offer comfort, or at least, will stop her before she does something reckless.

As of now, that’s all I have to say. Stay safe, Rai would break if anything happened to you.

Skie

Ps. I apologize for the blood, I was training, and my knuckles and arms got scuffed. [attached to the letter, was a picture, of an arm, with a tan complexion. The whole arm was wrapped in bandages from the elbow to past the knuckles, the bandages were already stained slightly with blood]

[On the back, was one sentence]

I’m glad you reconsidered -u-

Skie

Skie,

...Well, as long as there isn't immediate danger.

Fucking hell. This entity is chatty. That's got to be the third person the entity's contacted, AT LEAST. Once to Lis, once to... someone or other, which was apparently an amicable enough interaction that they asked the entity to give us their regards, and now Rai. Makes me wonder just how many people its contacted so far who didn't send any letters in or didn't say anything about it, or maybe just flat-out ignored the entity. How did it contact Rai, anyway? Another letter?

...Yeah. I sorta figured that out after Flower revealed herself. The colors of the crayon are green, white, and brown, and the name of the color on the crayon is White Lily.

It sent a fake 20 dollar bill? When did it

Oh, when Rai called it a bitch and told it to give him 20 dollars, I'm guessing.

Yeah, and did you see that letter my entity and Flower passed back and forth? She called the entity a "newborn". AND IT DIDN'T EVEN DENY IT. Of course, there's no telling what "newborn" means in the eyes of an entity, maybe its "only" a thousand years old, but still.

Maybe it was an opening, you could be right. The crayon, when it arrived, was called White Lily, and the flower that attacked Rai was described by yourself as a "mutant lily." I'm willing to bet my entity put two and two together and realized something influenced the crayon in transit. I threw the crayon into the room of magic dread that we never go into, just out of caution. I don't really have a way to get rid of it, though.

Huh. I can't read that sentence/paragraph/something? for a completely new reason. Sorta looks like an entity's work, what with the whole incomprehensible eldritch mindfuck whatever. Not only that, it looks like a new one, since my usual entity likes to white things out and I bet Lil Flower would do something unnecessarily dramatic like having a flower grow out of the paper or whatever. Congrats, Rai and Skie, you have an entity! Let's hope it's more like Goldie and less like my villain gallery.

Probably, yes. Logically, I know Lis is probably going to be completely fine, with all the support she has, but I have a tendency to worry about everything and Lis and Jessy are definitely no exception.

I'll do my best to stay safe. Jake and I are being careful with how we open the envelopes nowadays, just in case another nasty surprise hops out.

Yeesh, that looks unpleasant. Hope it doesn't hurt too much.

In Crow Crew reactions, Jessy wishes both you and Rai well, and you in particular a speedy recovery; Lilly is concerned about the extent of the reach of Flower; Thomas is trying to guess based on context whatever you said that was covered up by the entity, and Cleo is helping out; and Dan suggested that Flower might want us to just stop writing letters altogether and suggested we do that, until I pointed out that doing that would tick off my own entity.

See ya.

—Yuvon

Hallo, Skie.

It is relieving that Rai is in no immediate danger, but troubling that there is danger at all. Regardless, we shall make no further inquiries until such time as Rai is comfortable informing us himself, unless it becomes necessary to know for some reason.

Why would it confront Rai over "lying" about the flowers? That seems odd. I thought that thing would gladly take credit for such an assault, if only to traumatize Yuvon and I further.

Yes, Flower was able to send through a lily... for a small period of time. I do not have the letter to hand, but you, I believe, mentioned that the lily faded away or something soon after you entered. Of course, I am not trying to minimize the danger. If it nearly broke Rai's arm before vanishing, I shudder to think of what might have happened were it to have gone for the throat. Regardless, yes, there is a clear disparity in power level here.

The crayon may have been an opening, yes. Or simply it announcing its presence. It is difficult to tell, with entities. Perhaps another entity would like to answer?

(The ink becomes so dark it seems to suck in the light around it for two sentences.) I do not believe so. I believe "Flower" was simply announcing its presence.

Well, it was worth a try. Perhaps it will answer after Yuvon sends this letter.

Do be wary. As Yuvon said: I sincerely hope that whatever entity is choosing to interact now has benevolent intentions, but I would not trust that to be the case. Of course, it is entirely possible you will not be able to read where Yuvon and I are speaking about this entity, but I suspect if that's the case you will be able to determine that of your own accord, or have already and that was what you were attempting to say.

I am sure that you either know, or can guess that I will of course endeavor to keep Yuvon as safe as I may, though that is made more difficult by the fact that we are entirely within its plane.

Sincerely,

Jake

(The letter tucks itself into the paper clip with the others.)

#duskwood letter game #yuvon writes letters #duskwood #duskwood game #duskwood everbyte #duskwood jake #skie #rai #the entity

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vaguely-gestures-to-the-void · 3 years ago

Text

Hindsight: My thoughts on Loki (2021)

Welcome back folks. Read the innocence dying inside me as I accept that this show eats my expectations for lunch and leaves me like it's going to buy milk.

As a side note from what I said in my first review, here’s an interesting article. Apparently I was clowning because the Gobi desert scene was filmed (probably? idk) with the tech from the Mandalorian. I think the studios were the same. Oh well. https://www.atlasofwonders.com/2021/06/loki-filming-locations.html

Episode 4: THE NEXUS EVENT

Pre-title scene

The new perspective of Asgard is incredible.

Oh baby Sylvie, what did they do to you. Also, RAVONNA??

The TVA through a child’s eyes is heartbreaking. The mixed use of shots that were familiar (the feet walking into the TVA) and new (the TVA logo on the floor) convey how though routine, this is an alien experience for Sylvie.

She too wants to help the man being dragged in. Maybe Sylvie was a better person than Loki, the TVA taking her away was what changed it.

We don’t see Casey, but iIt’s the same ‘sign here’ guy. The changing perspective and music really alters the mood created, contrasting the whimsical procedure we followed in episode one.

She hadn’t even said much in her life. They knew how to influence the audience’s emotions, that's for sure. Props to the actress, I felt genuine concern for her before I remembered that she’s acting.

TVA

Ravonna probably underestimated Sylvie as a Loki, a mistake that cost her greatly.

The golden doors.

Ravonna looks tense and a bit fearful.

Scattered throughout the episode are eyes watching. George Orwell’s 1984, anyone?

Big Brother is watching.

Mobius! He’s a good friend to Ravonna, but there’s a power imbalance.

Ravonna is shaken. Her past failure is haunting her.

Someone edit the “What? How?” into “Wow.” It’ll be a service.

Lamentis - 1

Loki’s apology and Sylvie reflecting on her childhood are the conclusion to the previous episode. Faced with death, Loki realises that her goals were hindered by his actions. His apology is the first time he acknowledges he had something to do with it. Sylvie’s offering her emotional vulnerability in the form of memories. Her mind and experiences are her most prized possession because they’re all she has of the person who she was as Loki, her childhood and what she was supposed to be. Her glorious purpose, what really makes a Loki a ‘Loki’ was her life.

THEY TRUST EACH OTHER. THIS WAS WHAT CAUSED THE NEXUS EVENT.

C H A R A C T E R D E V E L O P M E N T.

Ravonna pointed out that Loki will always be a “lying scourge” but they went against this. In any timeline, this could cause a nexus event. They found a middle ground.

“That should be setting off alarms if someone steps on the wrong leaf.” I had a whole idea about entropy and the timeline being an isolated system but I struggled to define an isolated system, and thus I couldn’t use the whole irreversible process causing entropy to grow causing a br- if you have a clue of what I’m going on about, or want to know more, I’ll explain my thoughts. I can understand why this isn’t scientifically accurate and I’m no physicist.

The unbranched timeline means all the things that were speculated - Wanda’s kids, what happened on Saakar, all of it - is gone.

“Any news on C - 20?”I called it! B-15 is having doubts! Her subtle unease building up throughout the ep is perfect!

Most settlements have a street design that can be from space. Sharru doesn’t.

“No. We may lose... ...you’re amazing!” Damn it literally took the end of a world for Loki to change as a person.

“Their smiles. If that isn’t people accepting their deaths I don’t know what is. Man, I just want both of them to be happy.

Please don’t let that be the love theme, it’s so pretty.

The music fading into the TVA theme as they get separated is so sad.

Time Theater 25

Back to square one in terms of trust with these two, but now they have history and hurt feelings too!

Oh Mobius.

Cycles are a part of who Loki is within Norse mythology (from what I know, correct me if I’m wrong). This scene is conflict.

Loki needs both Mobius and Sylvie to incite change. One can empathise whilst the other believes in him.

Mobius believes in Loki like no one else in the TVA. He treats him like an individual, they developed a bond in episode 2, so his disappointment and anger were genuine. This is reflected in their dialogue.

Even when Loki was going through all the Feels in ep 1, he didn’t shout at Mobius. It makes it more heartbreaking when Mobius laughs and dismisses him after the “TVA is lying to you” thing. His laugh was so bitter, it’s like his belief that Loki would be the variant to prove that variants were individuals had been shattered. What Mobius doesn’t realise is that Loki was genuinely trying to warn him. The trust between them was fragile but Mobius needed to come to his own conclusions before he could see that Loki had broken out of the mold the Time Keepers set for him.

“Just kind of an asshole and a bad friend.” Y’all, Mobius doesn’t rise to Loki’s baits. He’s so hurt.

I can’t be the only one that thought Loki was going to be brainwashed when they saw the red door. Turns out it’s just a time cell.

I love Mobius but he makes me feel so conflicted. Oh shit, he’s my problematic fave.

Watching Loki get his ass handed to him by Lady Sif shouldn’t be this funny.

This particular memory reflects what Mobius will talk about later, Loki being abandon by the people around him.

Putting Loki through a memory that was physically and emotionally painful was nasty. If you hear something horrible, over and over especially from a friend it would take a toll on your self-perception. Mobius was hurt by Loki leaving him, he’s getting revenge whilst doing his job and getting into Loki’s head.

Ravonna’s office

Ravonna has hang ups from failing with Sylvie. Who she is and what she knows is going to be interesting.

Heck I just realised are Mobius’ lapels not real? They look fake.

I wonder whether the “mastermind” thing was foreshadowing the next ep.

Am I the only one who thinks this isn’t the first Loki Mobius has dealt with? Could that mean there’s a reunion next ep?!

“Variant pet.” There’s a culture of dehumanising variants within the TVA.

The cuts showing both B-15 and Mobius’ faces reminds me of ep 1, but now there’s a new angle to things. B-15 certainly sees things differently.

Time Theatre 25

Lady Sif would kill with short hair. Or long hair. It’s Lady Sif, she’s a badass.

Loki’s exhale reminds me of how he tenses before a fight.

Notable things about this scene:

Heavy use of metaphors to trade jabs.

The lights are shifting in a consistent pattern, scanning the room almost.

Shots are constantly moving and cutting.

Loki’s speech pattern changes when he’s lying. Nice touch there.

When they start arguing in earnest, the shots are close ups of their faces, not circling around each other.

Loki was at first willing to talk to Mobius if he was treated with respect, the way they engaged in episode 2. He also wants to trust that Mobius won’t kill him. Mobius dismisses him (rightly so, his trust is gone) and Loki’s pride about ‘not working for anyone’ gets in the way rather than listening to each other. Loki’s behaviour is cyclic and his lying about Sylvie affirms Mobius’s understanding that Loki won’t (or maybe can’t) change. I wouldn’t be too surprised if Mobius is a Loki, the man’s uncannily good at reading him. He deduces that Loki and Sylvie have a bond and unsettles Loki to get answers out of him, because he knows that’s the only way he can force Loki to reveal his cards. He definitely wasn’t expecting Loki’s earlier admission to be the truth. What Mobius did was not right, but it sure was effective.

“No. Not partners.” I believe this. They had an understanding, but their goals differ. Maybe just give Sylvie her own show.

“Guess you don’t do partners.” MOBIUS WHY ARE YOU SO BUTT-HURT? Probably to make Loki feel bad ik, but it’s still funny to think Lightning McQueen is salty.

That memory really hurt Loki. He stuttered.

Loki fixates on Sylvie rather than his own freedom. This was the cue to Mobius to start interrogating.

Bruh, the feeling they were experiencing better be friendship.

This made me uncomfortable because I was so sure we weren’t gonna get a romantic subplot that I related the characters to my actual family relationships. Marvel. Why?

The music combined with Mobius’ subtle shift in demeanor from irritated to mockery was very unsettling to me. I never realised how good an actor Owen Wilson was.

“Our interests are aligned.” Once Mobius tells him the truth, Loki does the same. I really hope this is the extent of their relationship. Just let them recognise one another as equals. Please Marvel.

Mobius’ hands twitching, the slight swallow. Yeesh, he certainly doesn’t think Loki’s lying, but he’s not about to accept it.

Loki’s head shake is sad. He knows he can’t convince Mobius.

“That I can respect. I mean the lies you tell yourself.” This was the best writing imo. Loki doesn’t make any final attempts to connive his way out of the situation because telling the truth to someone he’d trusted had failed. He willingly walks into the Time Cell.

Time Theater 47

B-15 being unable to support herself, having to rely on the structures around her to stay upright. This woman deserves so much y’all.

WE NEED HER NAME MARVEL.

You better appreciate her beyond shipping her with Sylvie or istg.

The music is so mournful. It just emphasises how much everything changing is going to hurt not only the main characters. Lives change because of the TVA and the events of this episode, it’s not overlooked by the writing or music.

The poster and the 1984 parallels. Exquisite!

Sylvie not sitting straight made me snort.

Ravonna Renslayer’s office

More Theremin music! This time I’m pretty sure it’s Carnival of the Animals, XIII. Le Cygne (the Swan) : Le carnaval des animaux: No. 12, Le cygne (arr. For theremin and piano) by Clara Rockmore.

Fun fact! Clara Rockmore influenced theremin music and the instrument and was a virtuoso of the instrument. Give her a google, it’s worth it. Also look up Leon Theremin, he was (among other things) a Soviet spy. There’s a great Wiki spiral for anyone there.

Mobius was probably being lined up for a high position in the TVA. Damn.

TemPads are personal, or have different levels of clearance.

Mobius didn’t stop interrogating Ravonna throughout that scene. He knew that she wasn’t telling him the whole truth.

Sleight of hand wasn’t shown how Loki and Sylvie do it, they didn’t use misdirection.

Ravonna knows something is up with Mobius. Maybe he hasn’t been around for long if this is his ‘career case’.

The pacing becomes really fast like in the end of episode 2 as conflicts get resolved. Buckle up comrades.

2050 Roxxcart Disaster

I don’t have much to add, it’s a powerful scene.

They use close ups whenever a truth bombshell is dropped.

The music varies considerably between these scenes, each one has a different tone.

“We’re the same.” With what she knows of B-15, Sylvie knew not to be smug when delivering the news about B-15’s life.

B-15 crying in the rain hurts.

“I looked happy.”

TVA archives, Time Cell, Time Theater 25

The floor opposite Mobius is FE3, above it is 3FG.

Oh Mobius.

C-20 deserved better, I'd love to see her later in the series.

The music goes from mournful to harsh and we’re left in silence when it cuts to the Time Cell.

“You told me to shut up.” Loki can be salty sometimes.

“Do you really think you deserve to be alone?” Mobius is rattled, he wants to unsettle Loki.

The music starts to build somewhere between “...your connection... “ and Loki saying “‘WE?’”

The faint tinkling reminds me of the Avatar (blue people) score.

“How about the word of a friend?” This is Loki’s olive branch. When he admits Loki was right, their trust is tentatively reinstated.

The music is finally back to that chaotic theme we know. I think it’s the TVA’s theme.

“You can be whoever, whatever you wanna be, even someone good. I mean just in case anyone ever told you different.” Mobius corrects what he says in the first ep.

They are friends y’all I’m so sad.

Mobius can lie through his teeth like it’s nobody’s business.

Pruning hurts, Mobius’ face is in agony.

Loki’s tears. GIVE THEM ALL JETSKIS.

Ravonna takes a moment to compose herself.

Time Keepers (the final smackdown)

Why are the last 10 minutes always so insane?

Loki’s eyes only show hurt. I’ll leave.

Ravonna’s so sharp, she instantly catches Sylvie’s wet hair.

All of our expectations from the trailers always get yeeted out of a window because the scenes are never really what we think they are. I get that that should be expected but it’s refreshing that the writing is never what we think it is.

Did anyone else notice the egg timer/infinity sign murals on one of the hallways to the left of Sylvie?

Ravonna is so cold (and yet I’d simp for her).

The M.C. Escher staircases I see you set designers/CGI folks.

B-15 just gets knocked out. They better not kill her for no reason or I riot.

I’m pretty sure that Sylvie ripped off one of Ravonna’s TVA badges (or buttons) when she fought her.

Sylvie’s the better fighter, she’s had to use it more often though.

The elevator doors stay open.

It would be so funny if we get an elevator scene where Sylvie is just dragging Ravonna somewhere.

They really led us on with the Time Keepers, particularly the middle one. I was somewhat convinced there’d be something more to it. I’m interested to see where it goes.

Ep 4 review

I really don’t have much to add with these last two episodes. I’ve definitely come to appreciate that no matter whether you liked the writing of the show or not, it’s never what you expect. Is that a good thing? I guess that that remains to be seen. Nonetheless, I appreciate how much effort went into this series. It’s been a fun romp, I’ll be back with my reviews of the final episodes. I’ll also stop posting Loki content to my blog because the Gods know that my followers don’t read this lol.

I’m just going to survive until the season is over and then hopefully keep my sanity together until the next Marvel content or at least Dr. Strange.

Here's the link to my episode 3 review.

Thank you all for being here, you're wonderful my loves.

#loki #loki series #loki review #loki (2021)#loki spoilers #spoilers #man how is this fandom gonna cope? By fixating on other TV shows? Good luck lads.#I'm gonna go buy milk at this point #they better not mess with B-15 or istg #B-15 deserves none of this #give mobius a jetski #and give loki therapy #and Sylvie too pls my babies need rest.#boy if Mobius is a Loki variant I'm going to grab my popcorn because the circus that this fandom will turn into will be legendary

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dotthings · 5 years ago

Text

Well that was traumatic.

Like last week, a very standard-feeling MOTW, almost pointedly standard, until...it wasn’t. Only this time it wasn’t a twist in the hunt, it was mytharc crashing into a hunt that was called out, in text, as “too easy.” How very very interesting.

So it seems the deep freeze on the part of pointedly not mentioning Cas is over. Sam’s been texting him. A lot. So many texts. Yeesh Cas, take pity on the boy and answer him. From the texts I glimpsed on screen it looks like Dean didn’t tell Sam anything, just some vague excuse about Cas needing to go off to do something or other on his own for whatever reason mumble mumble, oooh pie. So Sam doesn’t know what went down there.

Dean is still using food to not deal with his feelings. It’s the same demeanor we saw in 15.04--food humor, stuffing his face, and we see this facade throughout the episode. Dean has cultivated and built this I’m fine facade because he has to, just to keep going. He is genuinely relieved thinking Chuck is gone, but there’s still the doubt cast over his whole life and what was real about it and what wasn’t. Last week’s pep talk to Sam--fake it ‘til you make it. Dean trying to talk himself into that and cheer Sam up, and it is something to shoot for. As if Dean’s going to talk himself into it. If he says it enough, he’ll believe it. Jensen’s performance is just the right amount of believably forced. It’s not ostentatious, the pain is held just beneath the surface and I get the feeling of Dean walling things off, like he’s stuff all those doubts into a box and slammed the lid and it’s in there screaming and throwing things at the door, like AU Michael, but Dean’s going to keep motoring because what else can he do.

Why, why, WHY why did I have to see Dean shooting Samifer with the Colt, I can never unsee this. Oh now I have to see Dean burning up, consumed by flames at Samifer’s command, oh no WHY DO I HAVE TO SEE THIS. How many times will S15 make me witness Sam or Dean killing the other.

And as this ep makes abundantly clear, yet again, to show us the undesirable ending. Just to make it even more clear we’ve got codependent werewolf brothers one killing the other and then killing himself, we’ve got existential despair, we’ve got an incredibly pointedly standard drab MOTW where the ep noticeably improves once it turns out it’s not what it seems. This is all so pointed I’m going to get a paper cut. For those who missed it in the back: a narrative without hope and a miserable hopeless ending and codependency and no growth is the undesirable big bad here, the ending the actual big bad villain wants, and the goal of the heroes is to subvert and stop that. To make a better outcome.

Gosh it’s like dark narratives that offer a sense of hope and catharsis and a better outcome is a valid thing or something, not something that means you need therapy for wanting in your fiction, isn’t that just wild.

Also the degree that SPN is deconstructing its own MOTW routine, in text, is fascinating. It’s not a takedown on early MOTW, but it seems like a very meta-textual self-awareness of the role of MOTW in modern SPN, what SPN is now. And the same thing over and over just isn’t going to cut it.

I really enjoyed this scene with Dean’s understanding and compassion for this terrified girl. Demonstrating the comfort Sam and Dean can offer people, they go after the monsters. He’s not even trying to hide what they do as sometimes the Winchesters have, yes ma’am, rabid bobcat that escaped from the zoo none of that here. And Dean’s face watching the girl crying.

“Do you like your job?”

And Dean says “there’s a lot of bad but it feels good to help people. I’m where I’m supposed to be” -- which is a sad little callback to Dean’s self-assurance about his life and who he is in the middle of S14. The saddest part is he really did get there, or at least a start, and now he’s doubting his whole life because of Chuck’s plot manipulations and I’m sad, but I don’t think it’s all torn down. It’s still there, it’s being battered and torn but Dean got there and Chuck isn’t going to destroy it forever.

Dean’s FACE when Ashley says how everything is so random and awful and wouldn’t it be easier if it was all planned out “and decided for you.”

There’s several lines in here where characters point out the case is “too easy”--Sam says it and then Lilith and maybe a few other instances I didn’t jot down. It definitely felt that way before the twist, as I said, like 15.04...it felt a little too rote. But then it wasn’t.

The werewolf brother shoots his brother, a very obvious mirror to Sam and Dean killing each other in Sam’s visions. “He turned into a monster. And I’m a monster too” and then the poor guy kills himself yikes.

When Ashley fell on the antlers at first I thought Chuck was going to mess with them by having the victim they saved die due to a random senseless accidental death and that would be nasty af but Chuck had even bigger plans because WTF that’s LILITH. Oh ok.

Very very standard MOTW takes dark twist, then swerves even more darkly deep into mytharc territory.

OH NO ANOTHER VISION MOC DEAN GOING AFTER SAM

“This isn’t you”

In Chuck’s bleak endings, yellow crayons never work. MoC demon Dean kills Sam.

NOPE.

Also no Cas in the AU/ending again. I was kind of assuming demon blood Sam killed him in the vision in 15.04 or maybe it was a world without a Cas. But if these are possible endings to this Sam and Dean, then there was a Cas at one point, and so my theory that demon blood Sam killed him seems likely.

In the MoC Dean one, oh there was absolutely a Cas. Because MoC Dean killed him. Because “You’re living my life backwards.” Moc Dean killed Cas, his Collette, and then he killed Sam, his brother. It’s Cain’s prophecy about Dean’s potential dark path fulfilled.

“That was God too, right?” This line was so heartwrenching, Dean really is questioning absolutely everything they ever did.

Then Lilith mocks that Dean “bonding with the victim” scene. EXCUSE ME LILITH HOW DARE.

This is extra cruel, because it’s some of the best parts of Dean being played against him. Dean was being his best heroic compassionate self there, and Lilith was playing him the whole time. My heart is cracking.

A Cas mention, even Dean participates. This is a big enough crisis that he can’t just stay high top the thing not!mentioning Cas, much as Dean tried to do that. He’s not ready to deal with any of his Cas feelings.

Interesting though, Dean’s weapon of choice was an angel blade, even after that breakup.

“God was supposed to be gone.” YOU ARE BREAKING MY HEART. I KNEW THIS WAS COMING, AND IT STILL HURTS. “This was supposed to be over. We were done. We were free.” Oh Dean my poor bb.

So now they have flipped again. Last week Dean was holding it together while Sam found it hard to keep on, now Dean’s hope is gone and he loses his grip on his attempt to act okay as if acting okay can make him be okay. Which he could do for only so long, but could do it more and longer without the emotional horror of discovering Chuck isn’t gone and he’s still messing with them. Dean was trying to keep a toe-hold on purpose and meaning but that was a facade and this ep just rips that thin poncho of fake it 'til you make it violently away.

While Sam, because of the wound from the equalizer, apparently can see right into Chuck’s brain. Maybe Chuck doesn’t know, or is Chuck purposefully taking the opportunity to use that wound to inflict this emotional horror on Sam.

(btw how many times am I going to use the phrase emotional horror in my S15 metas. So many).

“Chuck only likes one kind of ending.” So these aren’t AU’s...these are Chuck’s endings for the story where Sam and Dean kill each other. Note again the lack of Cas in these scenarios. And why could that be. Because to get there, Chuck has to get rid of Cas. Cas has to stay out of the story. Let me point you back to my theory on the uniqueness of Team Free Will in this world and Cas’s importance in Sam and Dean’s lives. This still fits even if these aren’t AU’s but potential endings. Cas is the crack in the chassis. The spanner in the works. Really inconvenient for Chuck and his quest for the miserable terrible no good hopeless very bad ending for Sam and Dean.

#Sam Winchester #Dean Winchester #Sam and Dean: a work in progress #Castiel #Team Free Will #Destiel #spn #supernatural #supernatural spoilers #meta #tw: suicide

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ohmyronpa-imagines · 4 years ago

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ok so- can you do a continuation of the Kokichi and kaede angst where they have to do the project at Kaede’s house again... and Kokichi just fines out ab how she was just cutting herself- and so Kaede just has a full blown breakdown... But her dad hears and screams at Kaede for being a “slut”. YEESH- I’m really torturing Kaede 😬😬😬😬

Well, here we are. The 5th installment of the Kaede Angst Saga. Let’s do this. I also replaced the cutting with self inflicted asphyxiation, hope you don’t mind.- Mod Hajime

TW- Self Asphyxiation, Self Harm, Language (Proceed with Caution under the cut)

After seeing Kaede’s dysfunctional mother, Kaede’s panic, and then her kicking him out of the house, Kokichi couldn’t sleep.

He went back to the dorms and stayed awake the whole night, plagued by thoughts of Kaede.

Should he have left? Did Kaede want him to follow her when she ran off? Was he supposed to stay and comfort her?

He didn’t know what to do.

Kokichi realized he’d have to go back to Kaede’s house, one he left his bag there, and the other, they had to finish working on their project.

Kokichi could barely feel any of his senses. He was so tired after not sleeping the whole night, and experiencing the hell that was Kaede’s house.

He had to wonder if Shuichi was able to sleep after going to Kaede’s house.

He yawned obnoxiously loud as he walked into class, earning a glare from Maki, what was her damage anyways?

He took note that Kaede’s seat was empty, Kokichi had no idea why this made him so nervous.

A few minutes after class started, Kaede opened the door and took her seat, a fake smile plastered on her face. By now Kokichi recognised her fake smile, it was so obviously fake it hurt.

After class, Kaede attempted to leave as quickly as possible, but Kokichi quickly latched onto her.

“Akamatsu-Chan! We gotta do our work together, remember? You do remember, right?!”

Kaede’s smile strained for a bit before returning, she didn’t say a thing.

“WAHHHHH!!! SHE FORGOT MEEEE!!!” Kokichi cried, Kaede winced and she lowered herself to whisper to him, “I know you want to go to my house again, and we kind of have to, but please, be quiet.”

Kokichi’s tears quickly disappeared, “Okay! I’ll be quiet!” Kokichi started humming to himself as he walked next to Kaede.

The two arrived at her house sooner than Kaede would have liked, but she quickly opened the door and ran to her room with Kokichi.

She took a few breaths and quickly got to work with Kokichi by her side. He was being quiet, remembering what happened last time with Kaede’s mom.

Kaede moved her shoulders and Kokichi couldn’t help but gasp as he saw purple, red, yellow, and even black colored bruises covering Kaede’s neck. He could see imprints of Kaede shaped hands on her neck too.

“W-What are those?” Kokichi was praying to whatever divine force was up there that it was just makeup.

“Huh?” Kaede turned to Kokichi and realized what he was staring at. She’d been wearing turtlenecks for a while and saw her collar had slipped. She gasped and felt her eyes sting with tears, Kokichi wasn’t supposed to see those.

She got up from her chair and ran into her washroom, the tears wouldn’t stop coming. She instinctively wrapped her hands around her throat and squeezed, attempting to stop the sounds coming from her throat involuntarily. She couldn’t breathe and it made her head feel light and airy.

She’d started to develop this habit because all she needed was her hands to make some of the pain stop. She knew she could die from it, but that didn’t matter to her.

Her vision was starting to blur, she smiled, knowing she would black out for at least a few good seconds.

She felt darkness ready to envelop her until her hands were forced away from her neck. She opened her eyes, blinking to figure out what had happened.

Her eyes finally focused to see Kokichi standing in front of her, his face had tears rolling down as he stifled his cries, “What the hell, Akamatsu? Are you trying to die?” Kaede quickly shook her head, “No! Of course not!”

Kokichi growled, “Then why are you choking yourself? Don’t you realize how fucking terrified I was when I saw you on the ground with your hand on your neck you could have died!”

Kaede bit her lip and looked at the ground, she could look Kokichi in the eyes right now, “Dammit, Kaede! I care! I care about you!”

The dam broke.

Kaede threw herself at Kokichi and latched onto him, she wailed into his arms.

Kokichi couldn’t stop his own tears either. He grabbed onto Kaede and sobbed into her shoulder.

All of a sudden there was a bang heard from the other side of the wall, “Kaede! Shut the fuck up! I don’t need to hear you crying, you slut!”

Kokichi gasped as Kaede squeezed him into her arms tighter, she started crying even harder.

That voice definitely wasn’t her mom, so it might have been her dad. Great, Kokichi thought. This family just couldn’t live without being any more dysfunctional, could it?

At least she wasn’t choking herself though.

Kokichi couldn’t tell how much time had passed since he’d been holding onto Kaede, but it hadn’t been less than an hour. Kaede’s cries had softened down to small whimpers and sniffles now.

Kokichi’s scarf was ruined, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about that right now. He was focused on Kaede, and only Kaede right now.

“How are you feeling now?”

Kaede wiped away some of her tears before answering, “A little better, I guess. Thank you, Ouma.”

He gave her a real smile before getting up from his spot on the floor, “Should I stay over?”

Kaede looked like she was processing what he’d said, “Sure. It’s not like my parents would care anyways.” She gave him an awkward smile, it looked nothing like the fake one she wore at school.

Kokichi grabbed her hand and tried to pull her up from the ground, Kaede got up and they left the bathroom to lock themselves in Kaede’s room for the night.

The door closed and Kokichi shouted, “Sleepover!” Kaede laughed and smiled at the ground before grabbing the papers they needed to finish for the project.

“We can’t fail this, come on.”

Normally Kokichi would complain about the work, but it felt right to work with Kaede.

Kaede Angst Saga [1] [2] [3] [4] [Here!]

#Kaede angst Saga #kaede akamatsu #kokichi ouma #tw self harm #tw asphyxiation #Stay Safe #angst #Mod Hajime

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thepearlyone · 4 years ago

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My (belated and feeble) attempts at a Hyp-November

Hi all! Been quite a bit since I’ve posted something here. No, I’ve not vanished either, it’s just that my muses seem to prefer toying me along or focusing on video games and such. Beneath the cut are a Pearly pair of hypno-stories I worked on in November. One of them is a continuation of the Dahlia and Grace story... so enjoy!

[Prompt: Trapped]

He surveyed his surroundings, eyebrow furling in surprise and shock.

“Trapped? There’s no way. I mean, for all the work you’ve put into it… I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s kind of just a garage.” The ramshackle placement of all the boxes certainly didn’t help, and as his head turned, he could see more of the dusty room. Much of it was lined in this silver metallic film, with a few obvious glimpses of the piled-up furniture. And of course he’d picked today to wear his nicer suit…

The kidnapper was silent for a good long while… then sniffled.

“Aww, come on. Don’t be like that. Come on, buddy- cheer up! You managed to kidnap me, didn’t you?” This elicited a nod. Still a rather sad one. He sighed, shrugging off the handcuffs with little effort and now letting his hands idly play with the rope binding his ankles.

The sad kidnapper looked up and laughed a little- something that unnerved him. They then sighed for another very long breath- finishing it off with the phrase. “You’re trapped.”

“I’m sorry, I really don’t mean to cramp your style… but seriously, I got the handcuffs off-” This caused the kidnapper to turn around again- into the black curtain hanging from the rafters.

“So as I was saying, I really don’t understand how I could be trapped at all.” The kidnapper seemed to be stripping just inside of the black curtain… Yeesh, this sounded something like out of one of those raunchy movies he’d watch with-

~~~~~

He awoke again, rope nowhere in sight. Nor were the handcuffs. Just him, lying on the floor of the same room- dusty garage feel and silver foil and everything. Curiously, everything seemed to be the same… except for the note on the chair.

‘Obligatus vinctum’. Latin, wasn’t it? Although he’d never taken latin courses, he swore he knew someone who did… but he couldn’t remember who. Was it one of his parents? Someone close to him? His… well he wouldn’t have one of those, maybe he had a boyf-

~~~~~

The soft groaning woke him again, only for him to realize who exactly was groaning. The silver foil circle, the odd black curtain being the only thing to punctuate it… He was still here in what he called the dusty garage. He uneasily slid back onto his feet, muttering to himself:

“Right- that’s it. Too many odd things have happened here. I’m going to step right over this stupid little silver-“

~~~~~

The gentle prodding woke him. The kidnapper again. He muttered, sleepily swatting away the masked madperson’s stick- only for it to return more painfully in one of his ribs.

“I’m up! I’m up. Ugh.” He quickly rose to see them grinning much wider than before, and dusted his suit off indignantly before looking back to see them gesturing in the chair.

“chair. Please.” Their face definitely seemed familiar…

“Hold on… do I know you from somewhere?” His puzzled expression elicited no such reaction from the kidnapper. With a sigh and the threat of another prod, he sank into the finely polished oak chair- even more disappointed than before. This whole thing would be ineffectual…

The kidnapper dragged out a handheld camera, as well as a TV on a small cart- with no power cord, oddly enough. With the kidnapper using one hand to steady the camera and the other to film, maybe… hmm. Perhaps now wasn’t the time to escape. After all, he still had no idea where he was, and fending off the kidnapper wouldn’t do much in the long or short term...

Seconds after he sat down, the TV flicked on, and immediately everything made sense.

He lost himself in the beautiful fuzzing image, the immaculate persona he once held in the highest regard slowly fading into oblivion. The kidnapper (with no mask, but maintaining the soft cashmere gloves he hadn’t noticed earlier) gently petted and tousled his soft hair as his eyes fluttered- obviously sinking deeper.

“shhhhh… that’s my good boy. Good boy… just keep relaxing. So trapped in my soft silvery control…” His boyfriend would be so glad when he’d finally accept and give in- this might finally be the weekend he could get it on tape. Of course, there was always next weekend…

[Prompt: Safety]

Dahlia grinned sleepily, her eyes fluttering gently- thanks to her girlfriend’s soft cooing words, as well as the hand on her scalp that kept massaging the faux redhead. Grace had pulled out all the stops tonight, so she was going to have to try hard to thank her later. First, the dinner was excellent- since it happened to be Grace’s turn to fix (but she always kept her apron and dress immaculate, and also eye-catchingly beautiful). Then, Grace had gotten out one of her more… Eye-catching dresses that always made Dahlia much softer and more vulnerable.

“That’s my sleepy girl. Just keep relaxing and letting me help you…”

As Grace would say, ‘Goodness’, she was so malleable. And something else… With a soft whimper, her eyes finally shut for good. Another soft moan floated from her lips, drawn out by a kiss on her neck. Although Dahlia couldn’t see it, she knew it would leave a little red ring of the perfect lipstick that she always wore… the whole outfit with the earrings and stone and everything was, well- perfect. Immaculate.

Relaxed. Obedient. Listening… open… wait… hold on

“shhhhh… it’s okay. Do you remember this week’s word?” She mumbled and shook her head into the petting, her eyes opening ever so slightly.

“You’re safe like this. So safe with me, Dahlia.” Her cheeks flushed, shuddering happily with both pleasure and agreement, the solace of her girlfriend’s gentle guidance…

“mrrrr… safe…”

“That’s right, darling. So safe. So relaxed… dropping just a little bit and enjoying it even more…” That happy little cooing gave her so much.. Everything. It was indescribable, but Dahlia hoped and wished she could. Her body fell just a bit more limp and relaxed into it.

Grace guided her even deeper… and then Dahlia felt her mind returning. Everything was different- she was no longer in the corner, but instead in one of Grace’s dresses, sitting up in front of the desk and mirror she had. This was one of the more surprising things Grace had asked for… but Dahlia wasn’t too perturbed by it, and she recalled discussing something earlier that night… but… wow.

“…uh… Grace?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Why did you… uh… dress me… up…” Her head swirled just slightly into a light calming trance, looking at her own hair and makeup. Grace had lovingly swept it towards one side and down, and used just a bit of blush and some foundation to touch up her cheeks.

“Because you’re so lovely. And I wanted to help you feel how I do when I dress up a little for-“ Grace quickly clammed up, her own cheeks beginning to blush.

“for me? Oh!! I, uh…” Dahlia turned back to her own reflection- and the calming wave swept her up. She noticed the special earrings Grace always wore when calming her, and the nice soft yellow dress she liked…

Grace kissed her again, and her mind relaxed, utterly calm… knowing it was utterly safe, able to fall deep and relax…

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 4 years ago

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Honestly, it's really pretty depressing the state of the game right now. I know with BL2 there were people who started playing around launch and have kept up all the way til now, and it seems like you've honestly been one of the game's biggest supporters even when there were obvious flaws, so the fact that GB has screwed up enough to make you stop playing is... yeesh.

Yeah :( I will definitely come back later on, but I've gotta take a break for my own sanity because geebus. I'm getting nowhere trying to force myself to have fun. I'll deffo play the new dlc!! (I mean I already paid for it, might as well) but I don't know if I'll go further than that. I'll have to see what the patch notes bring.

I've been a constant player of bl since 2012ish. I got bl2 on my ps3 and fell in love- I got the guidebook and that thing went with me everywhere (Zer0's sassypants is my favorite line from it). I got it on steam a couple years later when the goty edition went on sale (I didn't have the dlc on my ps) and now I have 1500 hours in it. I bought Bl3 as soon as the pre-orders went up, had a countdown on my phone, and beat the game in 30ish hours with a 2 hour nap in between sessions (and I only stopped bc my game audio glitched out to the point of complete silence as I was on my way to carnivora). I have about 300 hours in TPS and BL1, too. I think 40~ish in tales, I know I've played thru a few times. Spent countless hours sorting the BL2 audio files for people and compiling a list of cut content. Obviously spent a lot of time on this blog before bl3's release. Basically, these games are my life.

There were some things I didn't like that gearbox did with Bl2s development, but the thing is: they fixed it eventually. There's still some broken stuff (bee shield...), but a lot of it is forgettable (is that the right word?) because the main game is playable and f u n (Like when it took them forever to fix Maya's Cloud Kill). But with Bl3 it feels like they're trying to get us to ignore all the problems they're not fixing by constantly throwing new (broken) content at us. The patch/hotfix notes are really depressing to look at every week when it's a single tiny change, or a buff that means literally nothing, meanwhile there's a billion things on fire and all the VHs are screaming and it's a mess. It's worse that they sometimes do acknowledge these problems, and maybe even do attempt to fix them, but then they don't work for a week (Zane's Quick Breather skill anyone?). So it's clear they're not testing the things they implement, or only testing them at Mayhem 0, or *something*. It's mind boggling to think the Guardian Takedown was released at the state it was, when every player immediately realized something was wrong the second they entered the first room. That was kinda my tipping point because that basically proved they did not test it at all.

M10 is not so hard that their testing teams cannot go up to that difficultly level. There are youtubers like K6, Joltz, LazyData, ThiccFilA who are releasing m10 viable builds constantly (some with save files for PC!!!) and once you have that and the right modifier rolls, m10 is not difficult to get through. So it's not like their testing team can't snag a save file (or just give themselves the gear!) and test their changes with a 100% perfectly geared out character on M10 (even though that's NOT how it should work). And it's worse that Moze players just *keep* getting screwed over by gearbox's design choices. At least Zane has his one singular class mod to make him viable. But Moze players have been struggling really badly, it's like they only have one person on the balance team and they main Amara or Fl4k or something and forgot there are three other characters that need fixing. (Not that Amara and Fl4k both don't have their own set of problems that need to be addressed).

And I really hate to say it because these games have been a part of my life for a long time and I love them to death, but also it honestly feels almost like gearbox is intentionally sabotaging Bl3. That's how awful watching every Thursday's 10am update come and go has been. They either need to delay hotfixes/patches to every 2 weeks or 1x a month or something so they can properly test everything and give us substantial updates (even tho the Phase 1 update took them a month and was so pitiful I thought it was a joke at first), or they need to let their stream team have early access to the hotfixes/patches to test them. Bc clearly something is going horribly wrong with their internal testing team.

All in all I just really hope the Guardian Takedown release was an eye opener for them. Even tho this basically happened before with the Maliwan Takedown and the broken Guardian Ranks. But we can hope, right?

#Thank you!!#Geez sorry I didn't expect this to get so long #I guess I'm still salty ha #:(#Bl3 #Borderlands #Ask

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Reviewcaps: Star Vs: Club Snubbed

Dance week kicks off! I finally advance in the tomtrospective as Star makes the critical mistake of listening to ponyhead and causes a dad fight that threatens to spill into an international incident unless she and Tom can get along. Tom dosen’t know how to be nice under the cut.

And we’re back! As I put in my latest amphibia review a combination of a busy few weeks and other things to cover has kept me from doing more reviews, and as such I left this on the backburner. But I decided that just ain’t right so this week, i’m not only bringing back the tomtrospective, but i’m doing a whole bundle of dance themed episodes because as i’ve made clear in the past, and making clear for you I love em. I never went to my own school dances and the one dance I went to for Demolay was fun enough, so that mixed with the shipping, hilariaty and usual good quality brought to these affairs made me want to do a theme week after Owl House last week, but ennui made me reconsider. So now i’m re-reconsidering. Lucky you! With that we can move on. Unlike the last few tom reviews, this one.. takes place after about 80 pounds of plot have happened, so it’s time for a fuck ton of exposition to refresh your memories: PREVIOUSLY ON STAR VS:

OH GOD WHY OKAY i GET IT THE GAG’S OVER... MOVING ON TO THE ACTUAL EXPOSITION. YEESH But yeah since we could largely sidestep the main story since tom came in literally before it in season 1 and it was irrelvant to him in season 2, I have a lot to cover. Over the last two seasons, Toffee, a septarian warrior who assinated moon’s mom despite her almost brokering peace between monsters and mewman when Moon was just a teenager, plotted and schemed to destroy all magic, having star nuke the wand to spilit it in half, manupliating ludo from the inside of his half and then using his new existance as pure magic to slowly destroy it from the inside while using ludo as a puppet when necessary. Meanwhile , Star started to catch feelings for Marco just as Marco was getting somewhere with his crush Jackie Lynn Thomas, who star was being his wing man with unaware of her own feelings. This came to a head when a dance, yes another one, happened where Jackie asked Marco out on their first proper date, Star was jealous but couldn’t figure out why and this distracted her enough to let Ludo sneak in with his army of rats and then take the book. Stars parents, in a suprising move for her mom more than her dad, accepted what happened and trusted her, though Moon started covertly working to get the book back under the nose of her allies in the magical high comission. Meanwhile Toffee revealed himself, while Star finally did realize her feelings for marco and proceded to supress them. This all came to a head in the last two episodes of season 2: First Star had her song day, which meant having a song wirtten about her which was honest.. a bit too honest as it revealed her parents hiding the book, leading to the people being upset with our king and queen and the commission understadanbly being pissed Moon didn’t tell them sooner. Oh and the song also, without star’s consent, revealed she’s intrested in marco... right in front of Marco. And this part is actually really important to today’s episode but we’ll get to that. Star continued to deny having feelings for Marco instead of working through them as the school year ended, while Moon and the comisson lead a raid on the monster castle, which will also be important later, TOffe was headquartered in. Things quickly went pear shaped, with Toffee easily murdering most of the comission, including moon by sucking out their life force to increase his own power, since their all made of magic, and only lekmet, the comisson’s wise sorta leader and team healer, surivived, using the last of his own life force to save moon before ending up as a pile of dust and a horn with Moon quickly escaping with the rest of her allies.. and Toffee omniously saying he was coming for Star and his finger. Moon naturally panicked and told star they were leaving, possibly forever, for her own saftey, and Star confessed how she felt to Marco.. in front of Jackie> Which is never dealt with even when Jackie comes back.

Also this confession isn’t dealt with until near the tail fucking end of season 3. God dammit star vs , just god damn. Anyways Moon tried to both hide star and ressurect her commrades, while a miserable Marco headed back to mewnit o find her only to get captured with river when Ludo, under toffe’s advisment, took hte castle.. and not under his advisment destroyed the book and it’s keeper and local asshat glossaryck. Star eventually said “Fuck that” to “Hide and hope he never finds us” moon learned some lessons about racial tolerance she promptly unlearned next season, and Star dove into her wand with Ludo’s help, as Ludo had started to catch on to the frequent blackouts. Turns out that was toffe’s plan as he apparently kills star, and finished off magic and now restored, just casually walks off after easily taking out star’s allies.. including a greiving moon and marco. Also marco punches a whole in his chest.

But STar manages to restore magic, unlock her butterfly form and reduce Toffee to a puddle of goo which Ludo finished off.. which also means moon’s attempt to dicker Eclipsa out of freedom just got undone. Yayyyy! I mean oh no.. no no I mean yay. She’s the best part of season 3. So ALLL of that was to get to the status quo at this point: Marco goes home after a few weeks where again, the confession thing? Never brought up, while Star vows to stay to be a better princess. And yeah this does bring up one of Season 3′s biggest issues as despite Marco having dimensional scissors, the show constnatly acts like he can’t you know visit or vice versa. They just use the other dimension thing as a lazy excuse to write the earth side cast out even though....

I went with a Picard one because why not. I get it being HARD for either ot make time for the other.. but make that a PLOT POINT instead of saying “oh you have to pick one”. Because it makes no fucking sense. Especially since star can still CALL THEM, so there’s no sense in them being absent from each other’s lives. Just schedule. Jesus. And it only gets WORSE from there. Yeah see Season 3 is where the quality starts to get... 50/50. And unlike Amphibia where the last few weeks before marcy have been more one mediocre episode and one great episode the qulaity here is more “some great episodes, some utter abominations of episodes that destroy character or any semblance of plot” and some just okay ones too. Thankfully the first few from the season we have to cover for Tom, for the boy, are really good.. but we’ll get into the shit soon enough.. and somebody’s gotta shovel it. And so it might as well be me. But for now instead of shoveling horse crap we’re shoveling giant piles of sugar so pitter patter, let’s get at er, this is club snubbed. It’s 2017, a winter’s ball and the butterfly family.. is actually not doing great, as most of the other kingdoms seem to view them as week for the whole rat invasion thing.. or at least the spider bites do. Yup this is where we meet the king, queen and daughter penelope. Aka two assholes who are dumb and I hate them and their precious daughter who I hope overthrows them. To thorw back to my loud house reviews, I hate them more than rusty. And look at him. LOOK AT HIM.

The one in the center. Look at him. LOOK AT HIM. Okay my irational hatred of the little prick, which isn’t entirely irrational aside the spider bites are rude, condescending, and really need to be overthrown so Penelope can take their throne. I just hate htem.. but unlike Rusty they don’t show up as much and that’s literally all I can say nice about htem. Penelope seems nice and I wish she got more screentime and she has an intresting romance we’ll get into in a few episodes, but they are just.. their the kind of people you don’t want to be trapped in a room with alone for a prolonged amount of time. The kind of married couple other married couples, I conjecture i’m single and very lonely mind, are awkwardly roped into spending time with and then have to get drunk to ignore them sniping at each other or that ends in a who’s afraid of virginia wolfe situation. Thankfully their barely in this episode I just felt like getting my hate out at them since i’m probably not covering surviving the spider-bites for a while. Anyways while they snipe at River who fires back “They were really big rats’ and I mean.. who does that.. who comes to someone elses house and tells htem they suck under their breath.. I mean rich assholes obviously, I answered my own question there but at least do it at your own house or on the carraige ride home sheesh. Your lucky river didn’t elbow drop both of you. It’s what you deserved. Okay enough bitching about this stuff, the asshole kingdom, and penelope, along with all the other kingdoms of mewni are here for the silver bell ball, an annual tradition to reinvgorate the ties between kingdoms. It’s also how star and tom met, and that’s the topic of discussion with Star and her best friend, Pony Head... of the pony heads. Why yes a major chacter on this show is a talking horses head who acts like a mean teenage girl. And why no I have no idea where her species food goes or how she digests it, I frankly don’t want to know. Some things are better left unknown. Anywho yeah this is my first review with ponyhead in it and she’s a divisive character to say the least. Some hate her , some love her, some REALLY hate her.. me.. I find her 50/50. Sometimes she can be really funny and entertaining and a good counterpoint to star, other time she’s obnoxious and a waste of hte wonderful Jenny Slate’s talents. This time she’s more obnoxious as this entire plot is partly her fault, btu we’ll get to that. We do get her and star scoping out the other royals, though Star’s unintresteds since she knows all of them, and Pony is only intersted because Larry kelpbotom got hot.. just like archie. And he’s got abs, just like archie. Two sentences I never would’ve said for years and years but that’s what Riverdale does to you. Back on topic the two talk Tom’s transparent absence and them having met and ponyhead having predicted drama. the two then horse around a bit before moon dickishly shushes them. Star only goes along with it because she’s trying to be a better princess, hence her staying on mewni at all now the danger’s passed, but yeah... even with moon’s backstory this moment just.. isn’t every plesant. Because while her backstory explains al ot, it dosen’t forgive how she treats star at times, as all star was doing here was being a normal teenage girl and not kicking her door down or anything. Star greets the other princes and princesses, including penelope, all of who I wish had more screentime. “Sigh” It’s then we get TOM. Horay!. And his family! Double horay, Queen Wrathmelor Lucitor and King Dave Lucitor. And yes I love how , just like the prince of the underworld is named Tom, the king, even if by marraige presumibly, is named dave. King Dave. I love it. Dave is a normal sized guy while his wife is giant.. and I can conjecture how they had tom but this isn’t hte place for that. The point is their perfectly lovely people, and I like that they zigged from where they were likelky orignally going with tom having abusive parents. INstead as far as I can figure they merley spoiled him and that combined with growing up in the unusual enviroment of the underworld and their own unresolved anger issues meaning they never thought to teach him how to deal with them properly. More on this later. Anyways tom is here and in shades, because his parents are good people and River warmly greets the lucitors. IT’s time for the ball to get underway.

Glad you asked. Basically each prince or princess asks each other prine or princess to dance, until everyone's dance with everyone. Simple. However suprisingly for him, Tom picks princess Jags to dance first. It’s then Pony ruins everything because she’s Ponyhead, and i’ts her special life skill. She tells Star tom’s “Club Snubbing” her... basically showing intrest in other girls to specifically act like he isn’t intrested.. which to be fair....

DOES sound like something Tom would do.. and what Pony’s doing to Larry because she’s a terrible person. It isn’t what he’s doing, we’ll get to the why at the right time, but it’s not unfair of star to suspect that.

So Star decides to get even, pettily, by dancing with rich and talking him up and each keeps picking the other royals.. which worries dave and river because of course it does. And yeah star is being petty here... but I get it and sympahtise with it. Tom’s pulled some really manipulative shit the last few times he’s been around and she’s likely sick of it. She probably even got second hand sick of hearing what he did to marco.

So she’s probably just fed up with his bullshit.. and she still DOES think he’s cute, as was made clear by his first proper apperance, she’s just tired of him being a jackass about perusing her when she’s no longer intrested. Which is fair. Tom is trying to be better.. but i’ts understandable why Star thinks he’s just still doing the same old shit just on a diffrent day. So it comes down to both of htem with Moon hoping star dances with tom.. and naturally, still pissy she dances with Manfried , the butterflies butler, who’se delighted.. a bit too happy.. someone call the police. Anyways Dave and River start to argue over whose club snubbing who.. as I said Tom has his dad, and his moms but again future episodes, anger. Dave is more controlled because he’s had more life experince but it’s clear enough stress can cause him to snap, as we see here.. he just dosen’t have his son’s demonic powers thank god.. he is clearly built under those robes though.. or at least you know skinny but a bit muscular. I mean otherwise Wrath would be a widow after tom’s conception.

But tom just.. walks out sadly instead of reacting which further pisses star off and she follows. But this time as i’ve been making clear.. Tom has genuinely changed. He’s NOT doing some creepy scheme to manipulate her into taking him back, he learned from last time.. and from song day. See I told you it was important. He figured she was with Marco now, and isn’t mad as he puts it.. he saw it as a wake up call. She’s not into him and probably won��t be.. granted I thought he’d already learned that lesson, but i’ll let it pass. The point is he decided to give her space by not asking her and would’ve if she asked him. He was genuinely trying to be nice and respectful to her. And here’s where I can finally stop shit talking tom for the most part which thank god. I love the guy, I wouldn’t be retrospectiving him if I didn’t love this character and see him as my own surrogate fictoinal son. But I had to be honest and who Tom is at first, isn’t a good person.. but this episode and others give more weight as to the why, as well as show him genuinely TRYING. He wants to be better he just dosen’t know how... as is highlighed with star not wanting to be ignored, and Tom flipping out in a demonic rage “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE NICE, AT LEAST GIVE ME CREDIT FOR TRYING”. Which is what I put a pen in earlier with his parents; His parents are genuinely nice good people.. but the underworld is a diffrent, dangerous place with diffrent standards. So they likely didn’t realize their son had a troubling anger problem because of that, because a lot of the underworld is wild and vicious, until he started harassing star and doing something that raised a real red flag passed normal underworld standards. The two then quack quack bicker bicker in the sky, with an extra sized extra angry cloudy. CLOUDY YAY.. until a chair passes throught he window. Our heroes run in to see the dad fight as esccalated to a wrestling match, and is about to esclate to an international incident. Star, seeing this can’t possibly end well, finally asks tom to dance which he agrees to not wanting to see a large bearded man beat up his dad. Probably how Domink Mysterio felt a few weeks ago honestly. And his entire life. And then we get the dance.. and it’s fucking gorgeous. It’s slow and methodical, with the two at first doing this reluctnatly.. but as it goes on their walls break and the two genuinely have fun and it turns from two exes stiffly doing a dance to keep their dads from killing each other,... to somethin genuinely romantic and visually gorgeous as butterflies and flames errupt from their repsective feet before carrying them into the air and creating a beautiful tornado together. Disney really knows how to do a good dance sequence... maybe not gay representation until last week, and even then they had to be dragged into it more on that another time, but .. damn if they can’t animate pretty. It’s a genuinely beautiful sequence and easily tops the one from Blood Moon Ball.. not an easy feat mind as I say this with no bisas. I may not LIKE starco, at least not without some heavy continuity revisions.. but that dance was objectively good and so’s this one. The two land, moon rings the fucking bell to end things because again sh’es kind of a dick, and Wrathmelor causes earthquakes with her claps and reign of lava mom tearfs. Aww what a sweetheart.

So Tom asks star for a corn shake, which she accepts, aww and Ponyhead is carried out by an entorauge. Eugh. The two laugh adorably together at her shenanigans, for some reason, to close out the episode. Final Thoughts: Excellent even better than I remembered.. though it still has one or two problems, like what tom’s really doing being kinda obvious based on his body laungauge and middle part being mildly repeititive. But it’s all overridden by great character work, goregous animation and some neat world building as we meet the rest of mewni , most for the first time. I do genuinely wished they’d done more with them. And honestly.. tom and star are more adorable than I remembered. I think a combinaton of star’s later actions and the fact i wanted my starco dammit and figured tom wouldn’t last, I was mostly wrong as it took almost two full seasons for them to break up and we’ll get to that, so I had no real investment. I was annoyed he was seemingly just being throwni n the way as an obstacle to the main ship hwen they clearly changed their minds and he became more.. and then exactly that later because I can’t have nice things. We’ll get to that. But yeah a solid, enchanting episode and a good start to dance week. If you have a star vs episode you want me to review, just hit me up in akss or subits or comission it directly using those same options, or any other cartoon for that matter and follow me for more reviews as I cover Amphibia every week and will return to regular ducktales coverage at the end of september. Tom will return shortly. Until then stay safe, wear a mask, and later days.

#star vs the forces of evil #tomstar #Club Snubbed #tom lucitor #star butterfly #moon butterfly #river butterfly #penelope spiderbite #larry kelpbottom #dave lucitor #wrathmelor lucitor #reviews #animation

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kprciffdw · 4 years ago

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Kim Possible: The Extremely Secret Files-Part 15

They eventually arrived at the Disposal Facility. It appeared to be a massive hollow sphere. They flew directly inside it. Ratchet: "Alright, Kimberly, input the password."

She did just that, but then the security system started attacking them. Kim: "What's going on!? I thought I entered the correct password. Did I?" Clank: "Yes, I am certain that you did." Ron: "Then why are the defenses attacking us!?!" Ratchet: "I don't know, but we've got to hold them off until Mr. Fizzwidget gets here. Kimberly, take the second controls!"

And with that, they fought off the defense system. It took them an extensive amount of time doing so. As they fought on, Kim grew more and more suspicious of the situation at hand. Ron, on the other hand, was still freaking out, which greatly annoyed everyone.

They were eventually able to fight off the defenses long enough for Mr. Fizzwidget to call them back. Mr. Fizzwidget: "Oh! Um, hello? Come in! Can you hear me?" Kim: "Mr. Fizzwidget, the password you gave us didn't work." Mr. Fizzwidget: "Implausible! Unless…uh…is this Tuesday or Wednesday? Anyway, sorry to have missed our meeting, you guys. I was called away to film a commercial for our weapons facilitory." Kim: "Mr. Fizzwidget! We really need to talk about the…" Mr. Fizzwidget: "Commercial? I thought you would never ask. Here, take a look at this."

They watched the entire commercial of the Weapons Facility. Mr. Fizzwidget: "So, what do you guys think? Spectraculiary, wasn't it?" Kim: "Uh…yeah…it was…great…Mr. Fizzwidget, we need to…" Mr. Fizzwidget: "Oh, I couldn't agree more. Heh, heh, heh. Fizzwidget out." Ratchet: "Sir, wait!"

It was too late; he already disconnected. Ratchet: "Mr. Fizzwidget! Come in!"

Ratchet tried to contact him again. Kim: "Well, this has been frustratingly inconvenient. Although…something about this seems…a little too inconvenient. Ron, what do you think?" Ron: "That looked like the most dangerous and frightening tour anyone would ever go on." Kim: "Ron, focus!" Ron: "Oh, sorry, KP. I'm just overwhelmed by the sheer terror of everything that looks deadly. I need something to calm my nerves. Can we stop and pick up some Nacos?" Kim, Ratchet, Clank: "Ron!" Ron: "I'll take that as a no…" Clank: "Perhaps we will be able to find him at the weapons facility." Kim: "Yeah, let's head over there now." Ratchet: "My thoughts exactly."

They were flying a long flight through space. Just then, Wade contacted them on the dashboard monitor. Wade: "Hey, guys, how are things going?" Ratchet: "To put it lightly, Wade, very, very irritating!" Wade: "Oh, that doesn't sound good, but give the circumstances, I'm not really surprised." Kim: "That geezer has been completely absent-minded. He's been a lot less focused than Ron!" Clank: "We have made an attempt to meet with him at the Megacorp Disposal Facility to discuss with him about the Experiment, but our efforts have been, shall I say, for not." Kim: "We were attacked by the facility defenses even though Mr. Fizzwidget gave us a password. Even worse than that, he never showed up to help us out at all." Ron: "He said he was called off from meeting us there to film a commercial of perhaps one of the most terrifying places to have any tours of any kind ever!" Wade: "Hm…well, I really hate to tell you guys this, but Mr. Fizzwidget is not as much of a scatterbrain as you may think; he's actually been avoiding you guys on purpose."

Ratchet immediately became alarmed. Ratchet: "What!?" Ron: "How did you come to that conclusion?" Wade: "I have been hacking in the Megacorp main computer and found some incredibly important data. One of them involved Mr. Fizzwidget's schedule. He lied to you about getting called away to film that commercial. He planned on going over to that weapons facility for that commercial from the start. There were no changes to the schedule and no indications of meeting you at the disposal facility or at all for that matter." Kim: "So, we flew all that way to the disposal facility for no reason?" Wade: "I…wouldn't exactly say that…and it gets worse. I looked into the data banks of that facility and found that its defenses can't be deactivated by a simple password, but by a complex binary code that only Mr. Fizzwidget and all of his employees know." Ratchet: "So he had us sent there to be blown to bits!?" Wade: "I would believe that to be the case." Kim: "And judging by how he reacted when we contacted him, he didn't expect to survive." Wade: "I wouldn't be surprised if that was true."

Ratchet growled angrily. Ron: "Does he even know that he has a vicious monster in his possession?" Wade: "I would think so. You would have to be far too deeply oblivious to not recognize that." Kim: "And you already told us that he's not as unaware of everything he's doing as we thought. Great, now I'm really worried about what he plans to do with the Experiment." Wade: "I tried to look into any intel regarding the Experiment but the main computer's firewall kicked in and I was blocked out. Sorry, guys, I wish I could have done more to help." Ratchet: "That's OK, Wade, even if you a little helpful, you have done a lot more for us than what that geezer ever did!" Wade: "Always happy to help, I'll keep digging for more data regarding Megacorp and the Experiment. By the way, where are you guys heading?" Clank: "We are heading over to the Megacorp Weapons Facility to hopefully find and speak with Mr. Fizzwidget." Ratchet: "More like confront him and demand him to tell us why he tried to have us killed!" Wade: "Uh, well, OK, but don't be too disappointed if he isn't there because he most likely isn't." Ratchet: "That's fine, even if we don't find him there, I wouldn't think our efforts of getting there would be for nothing. Regardless, I'm sure we'll find something vital there." Wade: "Well…OK, I'll contact you guys again as soon as I find out anything important." Ratchet: "Yeah, you keep at it, Wade. At least I know we can count on you."

Wade smiled before he cut off communications with them. Kim: "Yeesh! I had no idea that things were to really get this bad." Ratchet: "Yeah, me neither and it will only get worse from here." Ron: "Geez, between Dr. P's space station and this whole issue with Mr. Fizzwidget, things have really gotten intense. Are you sure we can't stop for some Nacos?"

Kim, Ratchet and Clank looked towards Ron and gave him some very nasty looks. Ron was greatly discouraged by this. Ron: "Never mind…" Ratchet: "Prepare yourselves, everyone, we're almost there."

They eventually arrived at the Weapons Facility on Planet Todano. Immediately after they landed, they noticed a tour bus flying in and dropping off a crowd of robot civilians. Kim: "Oh, look, they really do give tours here just like that commercial said they would." Ron: "And if what we saw on that commercial was any more accurate, then this tour will be very dangerous." Kim: "I sure hope not."

Just then, Clank spotted something that startled him. Clank: "Unfortunately, what Ron has just mentioned was precise. Look."

They looked over and noticed the civilians starting their tour led by a Fizzwidget bot and directly into a path which cuts through a field of monstrous, rabid squirrels. Ron: "Oh, no! KP! Ratchet! Clank! Those mutant squirrels are going for those tourists!" Ratchet: "Not if I have anything to say about it! Come on!"

They rushed out to the field as fast as they could. The squirrels were fast approaching the civilians and they were about to attack, but then Ratchet and the rest of the group came in and fought the squirrels just in time to protect the civilians. As the tour continued on, they were faced with more of the vicious wildlife. Ratchet and the others made certain that not even one civilian was harmed. However, during the fight, the squirrels took an unusual interest in Ron, which he found very terrifying, they then chased after him. He ran away from them while screaming. Kim, Ratchet and Clank stood by and watched all of this take place. Ratchet: "Um…OK? This is weird." Clank: "At least he is luring them away from the tourists." Kim: "We have to do something! Those squirrels will rip him apart." Ratchet: "I agree. Clank, you help Ron out, Kimberly and I will run ahead."

Ratchet ran off with Kim. They continued the fight together. They kept the fight going all the way to the end of the tour. After they were able to fight off all of the squirrels, the civilians rejoiced from being saved. Kim and Ratchet rushed over to them and smiled as they were being cheered at. A little girl approached Kim; she looked down at the little girl as they stood idly for a bit. She then pulled out what looked like another piece of Dr. Possible's space shuttle. Little Girl: "Um…thank you for saving us. I don't know any other way to repay you; I just have this to give you. I hope you would appreciate this." Kim: "Oh! Absolutely! I have been looking for objects a lot like that. Thank you!"

She took the object from the little girl. The civilians waved goodbye as another tour bus arrived. They got on board it and it flew away. Ratchet: "Well, that was a very interesting turn of events." Kim: "Yep, we saved a group of robot citizens from those monstrous, alien squirrels and collected another piece of my dad's space shuttle in the process."

She pulled out the container that was given to her by Wade and placed the shuttle piece into it. She put the container away as Clank rushed back towards her and Ratchet. Clank: "I can see that you have successfully fended off those rodents and saved those tourists from being devoured." Kim: "Sure did. Uh, where's Ron?"

Clank pointed towards another direction. Kim and Ratchet looked over and noticed the squirrels fighting to get Ron's pants off while he was screaming in the process. They managed to rip off almost all of his pants, he ran off, still screaming, while the squirrel fought to rip apart and devour his pants.

Ron managed to rush back towards his friends, wearing nothing but the waist part of his pants plus one pocket with which Rufus was still in. He had a very irritated look on his face from the epidemic. Ratchet: "Uh…way to…take one for the team, Ron."

The Pants Regenerator restored his pants miraculously. Kim: "Good thing those tourists left when they did. I'm sure you would have not wanted them to see you like that."

Ron groaned. Ratchet: "I'm…guessing you'll want that Naco you keep asking for." Ron: "You've got that right!" Ratchet: "OK, this time, we'll concede to that." Kim: "Um…sounds fair…" Clank: "I am not looking forward to this." Ratchet: "Come on, we need to search this facility for any vital intel regarding Mr. Fizzwidget and that Experiment."

They then rushed off.

They eventually arrived at the front of the facility entrance. There, they fought their way into and through the entire weapons facility. They fought against countless robots within the complex, with the robots respawning continuously. Ron: "(groan) What does this facility need all of these robots for?" Kim: "Hm…that's a good question, Ron. I know they're worker bots, but doesn't this seem greatly overdoing it to have so many of them, not to mention having them respawn like this."

They kept fighting through the complex, room after room after room, until they reached a small chamber at the very end which contained a small screen. On the screen was the female Lombax transmitting to them. Lombax: "Angela Cross calling Ratchet on secure band 7-Echo-Foxtrot." Ratchet: "Ratchet here. I read you loud and clear." Kim: "So, Angela is your name, huh? Interesting." Ron: "You know something? Ratchet was calling you by a completely different name." Ratchet: "Ron!" Angela: "Oh, was he now? Anyway, I'm afraid I have some bad news, Thugs-4-Less have completely taken over my flying lab." Kim: "Hold on for a sec. Weren't those boneheads working for you?" Angela: "Not anymore. Apparently someone has made them a better offer." Ron: "Aw, man! We could have had those thug guys on our side!" Kim: "Well, I'm not disappointed by that. I would love to have another rematch with their dimwitted leader." Ratchet: "You said it, Kimberly." Clank: "Hm, it seems as though problems are arising everywhere." Angela: "Tell me about it, between the Thugs and the Protopets, this whole galaxy is heading for…" Kim: "Wait! Protopets?" Angela: "Oh! Yeah! It's what they're calling the "Experiment" now. Here watch this."

They watched a commercial of a little boy being attacked by the Experiment while the commercial announced it as a new, playful friend for the boy. Ratchet: "That thing is going to be a pet?" Ron: "That is just sick and wrong on so many levels." Clank: "Oh, no, Megacorp intends to market a killer. That is simply unconscionable!" Angela: "Which is exactly what I was trying to tell everyone!" Kim: "So, that's what you meant when you told us what Megacorp plans to do with it is a mistake." Angela: "Exactly! There will be disastrous consequences if that monster is distributed." Kim: "No kidding! We would have never handed that thing over to Mr. Fizzwidget if we knew this would happen. I'm afraid to say the worst of it doesn't even end there. From what Wade has told us about that geezer, he has been dodging all of our attempts to reason with him on purpose." Angela: "Uh, who's Wade?" Ratchet: "10 year old super genius who works with Kimberly and Ron on all of there missions." Kim: "And if what he was saying about him was true, then it's almost certain that he knows exactly what he's doing with that thing and what will happen." Clank: "We must find and confront Mr. Fizzwidget at all costs." Angela: "Well, if you feel that you must, then you should try to find him on the Planet Boldan. I'll upload the coordinates to you." Ratchet: "Let's go, you guys. This could be our last chance."

They rushed out as fast as they could. Nearby, a dark figure had been observing them as they were exchanging intel with Angela. Shego: "Dr. D, do you read me? I just listened in on Kimmie and her little pals chit-chatting away. They'll be heading for some planet called Boldan." Drakken: "Good work, Shego. The Thugs and I will be setting a trap for them there. They won't see this coming." Shego: "Gotcha. I'll meet you at that new prison. This is going to be fun."

#Kim Possible #Ratchet and Kim Possible Chronicles #Ratchet and Clank #Ratchet #Clank #Ron Stoppable #Rufus #Wade #Mr. Fizzwidget #Angela Cross #Protopets #Dr. Drakken #Shego #Bogon Galaxy #Going Commando

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ericsonclan · 4 years ago

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Wrapped Up in Anticipation

Summary: Violet opens her dorm door to find an excited Louis with presents to wrap.

Word Count: 2048

Read on A03:

A knock at Violet’s dorm room door had her quirking an eyebrow. Therissa wouldn’t be back until the wee hours of the morning since she’d gone to pull an all-nighter with a classmate. Who else could be visiting so late at night? Looking through the peephole, Violet rolled her eyes. She opened the door to find Louis there, wearing a Santa hat and smiling at her with his arms full of Christmas wrapping paper and a huge bag slung over his shoulder.

“Lou, what are you doing here? We said we’d meet up tomorrow to wrap gifts,”

“I know, I know, but I was picking up supplies and I found something and I just got so excited I had to bring it over tonight and figured why not go the whole nine yards?” Louis smiled brightly at his best friend before looking down meaningfully by his feet.

Violet’s gaze followed Louis’ down to the ground. A small gasp escaped her lips. There at Louis’ feet was a tiny live Christmas tree, no higher than his knee.

“Isn’t it amazing! I spotted it being sold in the parking lot with all the big Christmas trees and figured it’d be the perfect tree for you. You can have a real live tree this year!”

Violet would never admit it, but a lump welled up in her throat at the gift. Growing up in a trailer, she hadn’t come from a family with the funds to afford a real live tree let alone a full size artificial one. Truth be told, as she got older her parents had stopped putting up any sort of tree at all, not even the dusty old miniature one they used to place on the table. Her mom had been busy working multiple jobs and no longer had energy to decorate and her father was too focused on chasing the next bottle of whiskey to care. Violet used to have her grandma’s decorations and artificial tree to find solace in, but it had been almost a decade now since she’d been alive.

“Vi? Are you OK?” Louis’ voice carried concern with it.

Shit. Her emotion must be showing through after all. She didn’t want to talk about any of that stuff. It wasn’t like Louis knew and she wanted to keep it that way. That part of her life was in the past now. She was living independently, and she’d never be going back. Swallowing the lump, Violet cleared her throat and bent over to pick up the tree. “It’s cool. Let’s bring it inside quick. I think my RA said live trees aren’t allowed within the dorms,”

“Ooh, breaking the rules!” Louis whispered happily with a playful waggle of his eyebrows. Slipping inside Violet’s room, he closed the door behind him with a soft click. Walking forward, Louis dumped all the wrapping supplies in the center of the room. He glanced over at Violet who was placing the tree upon her desk. “Oh, we should probably put that in water so it doesn’t dry out. Do you have a bowl or something we could use?”

“I have one,” Violet went over to the bookshelf and grabbed a plain white bowl. “I’ll be right back,” With that she left to fill the bowl in the dorm bathroom. A few minutes later when she returned she found Louis had already spread out all of his gifts upon the floor and was attempting to calculate how much wrapping paper he’d need for the first one.

“You’re using way too much,” Violet noted dryly. Going over to her desk, she stood the tree up within the water bowl. “The wrapping paper’s gonna get all crinkly and shit,”

“It’s ok, I bought plenty. If I do this wrong, I’ll just try again,” Louis’ scissors glided as he cut a huge swath of wrapping paper before looking back over at Violet and the tree. His face fell slightly. “I should have run back inside and bought some ornaments for Lil Stumpy. He looks so bare,”

“You named my tree?” Violet plopped down on the floor, rooting out her own presents from under the bed.

“Poor little guy needed a name. He’s small of stature but big of heart,”

“Excuse you, Lil Stumpy is a lady,”

“Oh! My humblest apologies!” Louis bowed in mock solemnity before continuing with his wrapping. “I’ll be sure to drop by tomorrow with ornaments for the little lady,”

“Y’know, for someone who goes to a different college, you’re over here way too much,”

Louis shrugged. “What can I say? I like it here. You’re here, Marlon’s here, and everybody else around here seems cool too. Like those twins in your statistics class. That gift’s for Sophie, right? You said she’s the one who really likes food,”

Violet paused in her gift wrapping and nodded. “Good memory,” She’d gotten Sophie a DIY mochi ice cream kit. Ever since the twins and Violet had gone on a late-night ice cream run one late night, Sophie had been talking about mochi nonstop. Hopefully Sophie’s homemade mochi would turn out to her satisfaction. Violet glanced over at the box Louis had been trying unsuccessfully to wrap again and again. “That’s the bomb you ordered for Mitch?”

“Glitter bomb,” Louis corrected, recutting his wrapping paper to a smaller size. “I can’t wait to see the look on Mitch’s face when he gets a faceful of glitter! He’ll be getting the stuff out of his hair for weeks!” Louis chortled happily at the thought. “There’s a giftcard to St. John Steakhouse in there too. Hope he looks through the box before throwing it out,”

“You’d better give him a heads up on that after the glitter bomb,” Setting aside her first present, Violet moved onto her second, Minnie’s gift. It was a t-shirt with a heartbeat monitor line in the background while a guitar was in the foreground.

“Oooh, getting Minnie something with a heart on it I see,” Louis teased.

“Shut up,” Violet muttered, turning her face away from her friend. “It’s a heartbeat, not a heart,”

“Riiiight, totally different. Minnie seems nice though. I think if you asked her out she’d say yes,”

“Yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen,”

“Or maybe I should hint to Minnie that she should ask you out,”

“If you do, that, I swear I’ll steal your kneecaps in the middle of the night,”

“Ok, ok, message received! Yeesh!” Louis rolled his eyes as he pulled out a large package from his present bag that was already wrapped in dark blue tissue paper and tied with a silver bow. “Here’s your gift by the way. I wrapped it ahead of time so there’d be no chance of you spoiling your own gift this year,” It was a game they’d developed over the years: Louis hiding his present to Violet somewhere he thought she’d never find it and Violet inevitably sniffing it out.

A smirk crossed Violet’s face. “Oh, I already know what it is,”

“What?! How?”

“You left your laptop open beside me last time you were over here. I just pulled up your Amazon order history and scrolled down,”

“Well, you’re still not allowed to open it till Christmas!” Louis declared with a sullen pout.

“I won’t,” Violet took the present eagerly, lightly squishing it. Louis had outdone himself this year. He’d found a blanket with glow in the dark constellations printed all over both sides. Violet couldn’t wait to cuddle under it come Christmas morning. Pulling out a box from her own pile, Violet unceremoniously plopped one of the ribbons Louis had bought on the top of the packaging and handed it over. “Here’s your gift,”

“Wow, I love what you did with the packaging,” Louis replied drolly. Taking the small box in both hands, he shook it in curiosity.

“Hey, no shaking! You don’t get to guess what it is!”

“Oh, but you get to know what your present is ahead of time? I call shenanigans!”

“Just wait till Christmas, you big baby,” Violet glanced over at the box, hoping the present inside was still safe. She’d bought Louis a thumb piano. It had been a tossup on whether buying it for him would be worth the annoyance of him playing the thing everywhere, but Violet knew the smile on Louis’ face when he opened it would be worth it. Getting back into wrapping mode, she pulled out a thin black box that contained her next present.

“Is that one for Mitch?”

“Yup,” Violet wrapped it in the goofy reindeer wrapping paper Louis had bought. She knew that one would annoy Mitch the most.

“What is it?”

“A knife,”

“Bet you wanna keep it for yourself,” Louis knew her well. Violet was a sucker for a cool knife.

“Yeah, but there’s no weapons allowed on campus anyway, so,” Violet shrugged, making quick work of wrapping the gift. “Ready to wrap the big one?”

“You betcha!” Louis reached into his bag with glee, pulling out an entire miniature sled. The warm brown wood and painted metal detailing along the edges came together to form a truly charming sight. “You got your part of the gift?”

“Yep,” Violet plopped a red dog harness on top of the miniature sled. “I looked up pit bulls to make sure I got the right size,”

“Awesome. Marlon’s gonna lose his mind when he sees this!” Louis was practically beaming in excitement as he unrolled a huge swath of wrapping paper to begin the process.

Violet had to agree. Ever since Marlon got Rosie at the beginning of this year, the dog was all he ever talked about. Violet couldn’t blame him. Rosie was super cute and pretty much the sweetest dog she’d ever met. When she and Louis had been brainstorming gift ideas for this year, they knew they wanted to get Marlon something that would also be a gift for Rosie. Now he would be able to sit on his own miniature sled and have Rosie pull him around across the snow to her heart’s content. They were both gonna love it.

It was quite a tricky process getting such a large and unusually shaped present wrapped. In the end after several layers of wrapping paper and some truly haphazard usage of tape, they had a large, lumpy package to show for their labors. Both friends looked at it with pride.

“It’s perfect,” Louis stated, wiping a mock tear from his eye.

“That’s some fucking good wrapping if I do say so myself,” Violet smiled proudly at the mysterious blob. That was when her eyes caught the time. “Shit, it’s almost one? I have an 8 AM class tomorrow. You gotta go,”

“Awww, so soon?” Louis batted his lashes at Violet, giving his best sad puppy impression even though they both knew that was pointless.

“Yep. Scram. And take your shit with you,” Violet helped Louis pack all the wrapping paper and supplies as well as his gifts before escorting him to the door.

“Christmas hug?” Louis asked, turning around one last time.

“Fine, Christmas hug,”

“Yay!” Louis wrapped his arms round Violet happily, chuckling as he did so. “Ho ho ho!”

“…What the fuck was that?”

“A Santa laugh. Now it’s a genuine Christmas hug,”

“Whatever,” Violet mumbled though she knew Louis caught the small smile upon her lips.

“I’ll see you tomorrow to drop off the ornaments for Lil Stumpy then?”

“Sure. I’m done with classes at 2,”

“Then I shall see you then. Till next time!” With a happy wave Louis was gone, sneaking quietly down the hall as it was far past visiting hours.

Violet shook her head good naturedly before closing the door. What a goof. It was sweet how excited he got around Christmas though. And the early gift he had dropped off… Violet looked over at the tiny Christmas tree, her eyes misting up a bit at the sight. That was truly special. Walking over to her desk, Violet brushed her hands along the delicate pine needles tenderly. It was her first Christmas on her own and already it was better than any she’d had in a long, long time. “Merry Christmas, Violet,” she whispered softly to herself. A bit of Christmas magic had found its way to her after all.

#twdg #fanfic #twdg christmas #ericsonclanchristmaschallenge #twdg violet #twdg louis #louis violet brotp #ericson's diner au

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