#i really hope other ppl experience this bc otherwise im just a freak im just a weirdo 😔

[enginator2000]

will i ever stop being startled by seeing my own art while im scrolling through my feeds? unlikely

[theodcra-blog]

✱  kim  doyeon.  she  /  her.  cis  female.  —  i  know  that  theodora  “  theo  ”  jung  is  one  of  the  roses.  which  makes  sense  because  the  twenty  year  old’s  parents  are  hollywood  royalty  known  for  producing  and  recording  multi-platinum  awarded  albums.  rumors  say  that  they  are  the  quixotic  of   the   group  ,  but  who  knows  if  that’s true.  +  plucking  petals  off  of  daisies  in  the  name  of  a  crush  ,  steeping  teabags  for  too  long  ,  the  scent  of  perfume  left  behind  on  a  pillowcase.

                   hello  !  im  xan  and  im  late  as  usual  but  alas  ...  😔  im  22  ,  from  the  est  timezone  (  even  though  my  sleeping  schedule  …  does  not  reflect  that  sjbdwjkbdjdw  )  &  i  go  by  she  /  her  pronouns  !  i  truly  ...  never  know  what  im  doing  with  intros  they  just  turn  out  long  &  messy  aha  ... are  u  ready  ?  *jungkook vc*  let’s  get  it  !  😋

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     QUICK STATS  !

full name: theodora marie jung.

nickname(s): theo, teddy, dora (  but only by bullies 😠 ).

zodiac: libra sun, aqua moon ( click ! ) 

sexuality: bisexual.

occupation: singer / songwriter, model. 

birthplace: los angeles, california.

current residence: wherever this rp is taking place aha x

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     BACKSTORY ! ( tw: sexual themes )

so her parent’s story was actually a pretty big scandal in the 90′s ! basically theo’s mom was the pretty famous front woman of a band ( think stevie nicks in fleetwood mac ) who was long engaged to the guitarist of that same band....until one day it was announced she was quitting the group and starting her solo career, leaving her fiance, and signing to a new label.....which was run by theo’s father, a young up & coming producer taking over the family business. not even three months later theo’s mom releases her first solo album, produced and co-written by theo’s father, basically detailing this years long affair the two had been having... in a series of really catchy, moving, and wildly successful songs. 

the public went crazy over the drama, especially when rumors started circulating ( through detailed analysis of the lyrics to all of theo’s mom’s solo songs ) that the well known band had actually been quite toxic. basically it was enough to convince media outlets and fans alike to forgive theo’s parents for being cheaters and breaking up the band JSDBWBDJWBD. by the time theo was born in the last year of the iconic decade that launched both her parents into stardom, everyone couldn’t be happier the two stars were getting the happy life they deserved <3

so here comes baby theo.....and the world kind of just immediately labels her as america’s sweetheart. her mom had some minor health issues which just meant it would be safer to not have anymore kids after theo, so not only was she this little angel to the public, she was also her parent’s little miracle baby ! lets just say she had some big shoes to fill bc of all the expectations ..

luckily no one had to worry abt her being a demon child JSBDJWDWJ because she turned out to be a very sweet kid ! she was a HUGE daydreamer since she spent a lot of time alone growing up </3 her mom had retired from singing and was now helping theo’s dad run the label, and the two of them were always busy looking for new talent to sign. she didn’t have any siblings and although she had a really attentive nanny it just .. wasn’t the same ?? so to #Cope JSBDWBSBDJW theo was always creating these super elaborate little fantasy worlds. it wasn’t uncommon for u to find her deeply engrossed playing barbies alone like she had scripts and everything 

by the time she was a preteen her parents were both really pressuring theo into thinking about a singing career, so wanting to please them ( and knowing that it was something she was kinda into anyway ) theo said ok sure ! and that’s where.....things start to take a turn. since she was so young she had this very very clean, innocent, cute image ( think disney stars ) & most of the music she was making was used for kids shows or movies. she didn’t really mind it so much but she noticed that her creative process wasn’t really valued ? or taken very seriously by her parents, because in their eyes like that’s their kid you know she’s still young, she’s always had her head in the clouds, they just really didn’t think it was a big deal if they took control. 

so theo put up with it, but the years kept going by, she kept getting older, and nothing was really changing. she still had a squeaky clean image, little say in the type of music she was making, but on the outside everything looked great. the public loved her, she was a role model for kids ( even though she was a teenager now ), it was all perfect.....until it wasn’t. when she was 16, she had a scandal akin to the vanessa hudgen’s nude photo leak, except it wasn’t as explicit ( not a nude, just a suggestive pic ) and it was way way worse considering theo was a minor. 

legal action was immediately taken by her parents, but once something’s out there you can’t really stop it from circulating, so the photos existed, just not on any official media sites. it was traumatizing for theo having her privacy breached like that, especially because instead of talking about how disgusting it was that someone would leak those photos when she was just a teen, gossip sites & fans alike were too busy talking about how her image was ruined. since she’d had such a clean, innocent reputation, people kinda forgot that... she was an actual person going through life growing up, and that she wasn’t perfect. 

theo, being the optimist she is, was like hey you know what? this is my chance to stop making music i dont love. after what was probably her first truly honest convo with her parents, they agreed she should be free to figure herself and her art out. so for the remainder of her teenage years theo fell off the face of the music world....

only to pop back up in the modeling one ! like most celebrities, social media had a big say in this. since reputation wasn’t something theo had going for her anymore, what she did have was a hell of a following still and two famous parents ( not to mention ... shes tall JSBDJWBDWJ ) she did maybe one runway show before deciding she hated that. tbh she hated any modeling that felt too constricting, which is why she never ended up doing anything for big names & mostly does stuff for foreign brands & magazines. 

she liked how much aesthetics had to do with modeling, and to some extent being a part of shoots satisfied that creative itch she had, but music was always her first love. theo really wanted to go back and revisit it, but she was scared the public’s reaction wouldn’t be what she hoped /: 

so following in her mother’s footsteps, theo’s re entrance into the music scene was an ep ( 100% written, produced, edited, you name it, by her ) she released on the eve of her 18th bday basically explaining everything she went through with art. it was only four songs + an interlude, which would become the most talked about part of the whole thing because it was snippets of various reporters talking about that photo leak.

the public had mixed feelings ! unlike with what happened with her parents, not everyone was ready to “forgive” theo. and since she hadn’t done any promo for her music, or for her career as an artist independent from her parent’s famous label, it wasn’t like she was making crazy money and getting all this recognition. but !! she was insanely insanely happy, and that’s when she realized making music wasn’t something she did for other people, just something she liked to share, so what did it really matter if she could be more famous if she was an artist under her parent’s label ? 

cue present day theo, model & singer, although the labels are pretty loose. although her music is getting way more recognition than it did three years ago, she’s still trying to do things independently from her parents, and she still has yet to become a chanel ambassador or anything crazy SDWBKWKFW. because of that she’s kind of garnered this new reputation for herself as one of those celebs that don’t really feel like celebs, like maybe she’s just like u except let’s be real she’s rich and her experiences are NOT universal even if her cute insta pic talking about ~her feelings~ in the caption makes u think they are

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     PERSONALITY + TIDBITS !

not even gonna lie to u guys....she is baby. i dont mean that in a uwu shes 20 but im gonna weirdly make her act like a child way im not a freak shes just baby ! like i mentioned earlier theo was a HUGE daydreamer growing up, and tbh she still is except now that’s she’s older her overactive imagination can kinda get her into trouble. a good example of that is the fact that since she’s so keen to see the silver linings in life and the bright sides, she can neglect the bad sides of people and situations so things still fit into her romanticized vision /: this was the cause for many heartbreaks in theo’s life, and she’s still guilty of doing this although she’s trying to work on it !

very much the kind of person to treat everyone like a friend ( that means strangers too ) until you prove you should be treated otherwise. it takes a lot for her to not fuck with you, so if she doesn’t like you then you probably did something to deserve it /: she’s always had a curious personality as well so it’s really easy for her to connect with people just because she’s constantly fascinated by what she doesn’t know about a person. sometimes it can make ppl uncomfortable just how casually she can have a deep convo, but she just never had that filter where she has to know you for 5 years before she opens up about her trauma </3 you know how when bp’s rose and red velvet’s joy had dinner for the first time rose made joy cry bc she was talking abt her family and stuff ? JSDBWBDW theo is rose ... she’s out there sharing trauma deepening that bond day 1 of knowing you baby !  🤧

despite all that she’s still kind of maintained this elusive air to her? it’s not like she does it on purpose, or like no one knows the real her, it’s more like just when you’ve learned one new thing about her you realize there’s that many more things you don’t know. it also doesn’t help the fact that she’s constantly romanticizing everything, most of all herself, so she’s really crafted this “dream girl” persona without fully realizing it. im not exaggerating when i say john green wants what she has </3 

a lot of times people see her as naive, not because she often sees the good in people or anything like that ( although she does ), but because she has this overwhelming sureness that everything works out in the end. to be fair though, for her, things usually do. call it good karma, luck, whatever you want, but the fact of the matter is even when it looks like there’s no way a situation can turn out well for her, somehow it does. it’s a healthy combination of money, privilege, and a charming personality but to theo it’s proof that she’s right.

naturally.....as an air sign JSBDJWBJWBD she’s a huge flirt ! the media’s always linking her to someone because she really makes it seem like she’s dating half of hollywood when the reality is she’s just being friendly. when she actually likes someone it kind of turns into a huge deal like she gets infatuated with her crushes, swears she’s in love — and then poof. one day she wakes up & realizes she’s kinda over it ... until the next person comes along of course <3

hates conflict and confrontation.....and i mean HATES it to the point where she doesn’t even confront stuff within herself ( i.e. “negative” feelings like sadness ) until one day it all bubbles over and she’s having a legit breakdown and dying her hair red. 

yes, that’s exactly what happened last year, although if you ask theo about it she’ll just be like aha what do you mean i just wanted red hair luv x 

pictures like these ( click ! ) of theo when she'd be walking around LA in her school uniform used to go viral on twitter. 

desperately wishes she was the type of singer ppl would throw their bras at on stage when the reality is she’s out there making some chill bedroom pop kind of stuff so rip that dream </33333 

knows how to play the piano and the guitar, but keeps joking one day she’s gonna make an album and only use her recorder as the instrumentals.

has a white british longhair kitty named zoe.

is 100% that bitch that can only drink sweet drinks & fruity cocktails and u know what she’s valid for it ! 

if she wasn’t famous she’d be making slime. legit running a slime making insta, those were her guilty pleasure & shes so mad they aren’t that popular anymore JSBDJWBDJW

u know that post that’s like “i hate making tea i always feel so bad about throwing away the tea bag i feel like i should just eat it” ? thats theo 

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     WANTED CONNECTIONS !

BEST FRIENDS: a power duo the public either loves or hates, ride or dies, that 1 person theo would drop everything for no matter what.....yeah 🥺 they’d be the person she’s closest to & vice versa !   

CHILDHOOD / FAMILY FRIENDS: their famous parents were friends, so it’s only natural they wanted their kids to be friends too. just imagine the stories ..... the memories .... maybe they got along really well and are still friends today ! or maybe theo pushed your muse off of the swings ( she claims it was an accident ) and your muse never forgot and to this day they’re sworn enemies.....</3 or less dramatic......they just drifted apart and now it’s like hey we used to be so close aha thats awkward let me just smile at you and walk away ....

LIKE SIBLINGS: someone who sees theo as a sister, and who theo considers her unofficial sibling. most likely she’s gonna bother the shit out of this person as siblings do but they really mean a lot to her because it’s the family she never had /: 

CONFIDANTS: the one person theo keeps finding herself talking about the things she usally keeps inside with. i think it’d be funny if both of them find it weird to do things like go out to lunch or shop together because that’s not what they’re used to !

ACQUAINTANCES: friends who are only really friends when both of them are wasted or friends who only comment heart eye emojis and fire sign emojis under each others insta posts but don’t actually talk much for whatever reason

FRIENDS THAT DATED: maybe things just ended amiably between them, or maybe it’s like an “everyone told us we should date so we tried it and boy was that the weirdest thing we ever did” situation. either way the outcome is they’e still friends <3

CAHOOTS: what is this u may ask ? someone theo can be in cahoots with. she has a dumb idea that no one else is likely to say yes to? she goes to ur muse. ur muse has an idea no one in their right mind would say yes to? they go to theo. these two are in cahoots !  

BAD INFLUENCE: although that america’s sweetheart reputation is gone, overall theo is still seen as a “good girl” by the public. she’s not one to be in a lot of scandals so i think it’d be really fun if your muse is corrupting that ( whether they’re doing it on purpose or not ) and whenever theo’s with them she just somehow always manages to end up in trouble. 

THE BIG EX: theo’s first real relationship, and first real heartbreak. everyone before them had been an infatuation, but your muse was the real deal. maybe the media ruined it, or they ruined it themselves by being too scared of their feelings to stick around, or maybe one of them was willing to try but the other wasn’t. either way it ended badly, and whether those feelings are resolved or not....thats a secret i’ll never tell x

SUMMER FLINGS: give me past & current ( or maybe even recurring ) summer flings where they both know it’s temporary but boy is it fun while it lasts. google their names together and you’ll find paparazzi snapshots on the backs of vespas, on million dollar yachts, holding hands in museums or sunbathing on the beach but by the time fall comes creeping in the romance is over. 

HOOKUPS: friends with benefits and it’s not awkward between them, friends with benefits and it’s super weird between them because they may be crossing over into real feeling territory, one night stands / hookups that were huge mistakes, one night stands or hookups that were or are being kept secret from the rest of the roses for whatever reason, someone who leads theo on but never gets serious about her, or someone she leads on but she never gets serious about, her go-to hookup on a night out when she’s partying, etc. 

WILL THEY WON’T THEY: a friendship that always teeters on the line of something romantic ! maybe they’re both oblivious to the chemistry / tension or maybe they’re aware of it because they get jealous when they hear about the other being with someone else… maybe they refuse to do anything about it because they don’t want to complicate things or maybe they purposefully cross lines when they feel that jealousy…..could be more angsty or it could be more wholesome depending on which way it goes 😈

ARTIST TO ARTIST: i don’t think .... we have any other singers / ppl in the music industry but i could for sure be wrong JSBDSJBDJWD but ! i still would love to have people theo’s worked with before. maybe if your muses has been acting since they were little, theo could have mingled with them back when she was doing music for kids shows & movies. maybe your muse is a model and theo and them have done shoots together before. maybe theo’s written a current song for a movie / tv show your muse was a part of. maybe your muse is a model and theo asked them to feature on the cover of one of her albums. maybe she hired your muse to act in the music video of one of her songs ! maybe your muse can also sing even though that’s not their main thing and theo’s asked them to feature on a song with her. there are soooo many possibilities that could be lots of fun <33

MISC: “we used to party together all the time until that one thing happen that neither of us talk about and now we don’t do that anymore”, someone who took care of drunk theo once and ever since then she’s taken that as an open invitation to knock on your muse’s door at 3 am completely wasted, “we tried to date but the paparazzi caught us on a date and we were too scared / sick of the public eye so we never got far”, flirty friends who say no i’d never sleep with you haha…unless you’re down?, your muse was theo’s first time OR theo was your muse’s first time, stereotypical happy go lucky and grumpy relationship where the grumpy muse pretends not to enjoy the other’s presence, enemies but it can’t be anything petty it would have to be pretty serious so if u want that drama.... 

that’s the end i promise it’s finally over 😭😭😭 i truly just ramble & ramble im really so sorry abt that JSDJWBDJWBDJWBDJW i tried to include as much info as possible to make plotting a little easier for all of us so lets pray this works </3 u can come message me on discord to plot @ seulgi ily ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172 so give this a like if u wanna .... do that ahahahaha x 

[celestialallstars]

Episode #2: “also I’m lying about being vegan” - Bryce

So the vote off was okay. I was slightly worried it was going to be Alyssa.

For the challenge I sat out. I hate sitting out. It makes me feel nervous because I can know if they are trying their hardest or not. I hope we can win because i dont want to go to tribal. The good thing is that I think I may be social good in my tribe.

I've done more reflecting and like I think I need to just count on a good swap. While I do enjoy this tribe I have to be prepared for worst case scenario. I do think perhap I jumped the gun a little with the alliance stuff on my tribe though I at least trust a few people around here. Kori and Bryce are cool yet it is interesting seeing perspectives from Stephen and Jared, the latter of which has admitted to feeling weary about the other. Still I find that Cyrena is my blindspot. I talk to Rhys, Alyssa, Mo, and Jack here and there but I am thinking about trying to get deeper connections. Hmm we will see!!

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I'm just running Loris' chance of finding an idol lol so far despite talking up a storm we have succeeded in having the same idol hunts lol communication is our strong suit.

I really hope we win, if we lose and I did the worst... I’m gonna be devastated... I’m hopeful we can pull through. Also real quick my dumbass took the time to write chrysanthemum for a flower category.

KARTHIK GOT BOOTED I REPEAT KOMNATA TOOK A HIT AND HE DRAGGED ANNA!! SHES A KRADHAKA!! (if thats a slur im so sorry i do not know NNNN). anyway. category is IS my comp but I SURELY FLOPPED!! BYEE!! i got 58 last season i got 99 like bokay lol

anyway this isnt my actual confession for the round but WHEN ALYSSA CALLED ME AND TOLD ME TO NOT TRYHARD COMPS IT REALLY HIT DIFFERENTLY HUH!! IVE BEEN FLOPPING

also i feel like my tribe hates me oh well they can eat my pussy n call me the winner :p

Im so nervous. I dont want to go to tribal. Im really scared. Kinda.

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This really sucks. Dont think i would have helped. It just sucks we have to vote someone off now. Im kinda nervous.

SO! My alliance searching has gotten off to a very strange start. I started by approaching Jared, someone who I've spent a lot of time talking to and seems like he'd be very useful to my game in the long run. I wanted to make a 4-person alliance with him, Mitch, and Kori. He didn't want to pull Kori in though, because he's apparently close with Bryce. So, whatever, I'm not gonna complain, three person alliance is still decent.

Almost immediately after I finish settling that deal, KORI comes to me saying he'd like to make an alliance. The initial idea he proposes is with Me/Him/Bryce/Rhys/Mitch. This is fine too! Being a part of more than 1 alliance sounds like it could be a good time assuming we don't go to too many tribal councils. SO I said yes.

Of course, I wanted to avoid this whole situation blowing up, so I go to talk to Mitch about it so he knows what's up and hopefully keep him from thinking I'm a two-timing mfer. He's okay with the idea but wants to stay loyal to our alliance with Jared. Fine. Totally fine. A little dicey if we have to vote more than 1 person out, but it should keep people from talking about getting rid of me for the time being.

This is where shit gets BAD.

Kori talks to Rhys and Bryce about this group, and apparently RHYS told him he'd prefer to have Jared instead of Mitch. What the FUCK RHYS? I ALREADY TOLD MITCH! LMFAO

Jared wants to tell Mitch about it, which is uh... fine. BECAUSE HE ALREADY KNOWS BECAUSE OF ME AHHHHHHHHHHH!

If Maynor is voted out everyone on the tribe is gonna know about this alliance I'm shook. I wanna get Rhys out a little bit now. He has enough sway over Kori to get him to change his mind on this hours later. But how the FUCK am I gonna pull that off if there's only 6 of us? Whatever, that's down the road. Hopefully we'll win the immunity challenge and not have to worry about this.

SO I’m really freaking out about how bad I did on the tribal what the fuck! But whatever I can work my way out of this, I think I’ve connected well socially to the other tribe members and they’ve all done so well maybe I’ll be carried thorough but I’m incredibly worried GAH

So I've got my alliance of 5 together, and timing could not have been better because we unfortunately lost the challenge... which sucks this'll be my first premerge tribal in Celestial history.

I'm praying that I've got the baseline connections that I needed to get a Maynor Boot out of this tribal since the idea of a winnergeddon is pretty depressing.

I've got the vote reveal that I found too which is pretty cool but also fundamentally not something I know how to use in any productive manner to help my game. Just a fun thing I can do during the season provided I make it to merge to make it do the most it can.

I'm honestly pretty nervous, I've been trying to be lowerkey in the way things have gone down. I'm hoping that I've at least made the social connections and contributed enough to the tribe that they want to keep me, and nothing meta like Kori's a winner is gonna kill me immediately.

IM SO SAD UGHHh like not to be ott but i hate my tribe so much KJHFASDKJFHA  like how come they cant do good at any challenge its literally just naming some categories u could use google how do u not do much just GOOGLE KJAFHSDJ like AND ITS SO ANNOYING i dont wanna be 2nd boot thats so ugly and its like ppl dont give me a chance. mitch literally just doesnt respond to me like how do i play around that and yet he cant even go this round bc stephen loves him and so does jared like idk how hes just so frustrating i want him OUT. and ppl thrown out maynors name and yaa hes inactive and doesnt talk to me but still i know he doesnt hate me like mitch does and will actually reply to me when i msg him. jared my king but he FLOPPED THIS CHALLENGE JKASDFHKASHDFKJ but i forgive we all have bad days. also im lying about being vegan yaa

Phew! I was far too nervous for this challenge. I was feeling sick and all and had lost all hope but to see we kept immunity by a few points makes me feel good about our chances! Hoping none of the people I talk to on Tuatha go but I have to prepare for one of them to go sadly.

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Honestly I kinda hope it is Maynor who goes only because I talk to him the least. It sucks but I have to try and keep as connected as possible. Kori and Bryce are givens but Steph and Jared are like priority! Rhys and Mitch I am gucci with a little bit so it leaves Maynor...we'll see though!

WE’RE SAFE BEEEEEEEEECH IM SO HAPPY.

I would of been fine with coming in second but when I saw we came in first I got so excited. We were rewarded with a bunch of animals and I picked the alpacas in which I got nothing, but oh well. I hope I can manage to stay safe from now on.

Okay, day 6. Not sure what I said in my last confessional. So sorry for repeats?

So, me and Bryce are potatoes and love each other and cemented the Supddies duo. So right now he is my closest ally. Since this challenge started I've been worried about loosing, so I've been trying to a grasp on this tribe. So far, it *seems* everyone is good with me. However would they tell me otherwise, probably not.

So I want to push an alliance to keep me and Bryce safe. So I approach Jared and say we should make one and he agreed , but we didn't quite make one. Anyway fast forward like 2 hours, Kori approaches me saying he wants an alliance between Bryce, Mitch, Stephen, Himself and myself. I say sure whatever, cause this is survivors and I'm not turning nothing down. I express concern for Mitch though as he leaves both me & Bryce on read alot?! So he changes him out with Jarred. Which is awesome.

So currently, we are going to tribal. I'm in an alliance of 5, and within that 5 I feel like I'm in a unofficial 3 of me Bryce and Jarred. So that leaves Maynor and Mitch up for tribal. Some reason people like Mitch? guess hes not leaving them on read huh. So people want Maynor out. I'd prefer Mitch, but there isn't any point in pushing a vote this round as Im still in a strong place.

so here is my customary "must have a conf in before the round is over" conf. idk not a lot has seemed to have happened since my last one. Karthik left which was obvious and then it made sense why bodhi was being shady cause he couldn't fucking vote LOL. ugh the memories <3. and it wasn't even MY vote from marmoreal it was justin's from wakea LOL.

jack, alyssa and i are a tight 3 it seems like. we are sharing idol clues and just generally having a merry old time. Mo and I are also getting along really well, we are definitely vibing and i don't want him to go any time soon. Tobi i already new previously so there is a relationship there already, but i'm trying to overcome that and i want to start talking game with him soon. Bodhi, to me, is still a bit of an enigma. I still don't really know him that well, which is weird cause we've talked a bit. idk, when he do speak there isn't a lot of substance and its just slightly off putting. i also know him and alyssa have spoken a bit cause he told her about the doors on the middle branch so im watching on that.

the rest of the cast i seem to be getting along well with. I'm definitely putting less time into talking to them because previous org experiences tell me that tribe first, then OW. Rhys, Chloe and Michael i all love. Zach and bryce too, but i know there is a friend group in them and tobi so i would like one of them gone before a merge situation for sure. I find kori kinda annoying, you can definitely tell he's doing the rounds talking to everyone. Chris and Mitch i still don't really know either.

Idk maybe i'm not taking this as seriously as i should but like as i said coming into this, i've already proved myself in S4, so i don't need to go mad this game trying to prove myself. i'm taking a more laid back approach, which might come to bite me in the ass so who knows what it will do to me looking ahead.

So I have a plan to possibly use Chloe's not wanting an alliance to my advantage should we swap with majority...essentially I sell to people how I wanted to work with other people and start an alliance with, say, Zach and Loris. Though when Chloe was asked, she rejected it. As a result, this cause a rift to form in that it left mistrusts and sides to form and then Wallace, no united tribe! Only downside is this being one world so somebody can go to Chloe and tell her this....what to do what to do

IM SO AHHHH WOOH JARED FINDING IDOL SO HAPPY im so sad tho bc like he wont votemitch so maynors going i just know this is a bad idea but w/e at least having jared have the idol gives me a little more confidence

So in regards to this idol messiness, I've talked with Stephen, Kori, Jared Zach, Loris, and all. While some did make it weird, the last two I've been talking the most as far as info and it has been rad because we talk about things that others tell us. But last night Loris and I told each other where we can go before to avoid us going to the same places again. WELL this morning I told him where I went and found nothing. He told me that he'd go to mid branch and do Mitch because he never played his idol and I'm like ok makes sense. Now he avoided the question when I asked if he had anything but was talking just fine before it so now I'm like oh okay...is this an idol finder? I guess I'll see but if it is then good for him I guess LOL still I have a suspicion but maybe I am overreaching

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I just realized Loris in fact did send a message about his response to the idol so I guess I'm a fool...but it was still missing exactly where he went so I wont let him off that easy!

lol nvm! Chloe said it was too early for an alliance so that flopped. so that scares me bc I feel like chloe has the power to be close with everyone to the point where even if anyone tried to get her out people wouldn’t want to do it... yikes.... I’m slightly excited for a swap? I’ve barely spoken to jack kori and alyssa and me and maynor haven’t messaged each other once NSMDMDMFMFFMFM... but on the other hand I’m close with bodhi , Jared, Bryce and probably other ppl I’m forgetting so I mean the chances of me being utterly fucked aren’t that high...

I dont know if im paranoid or what. But im having a bad feeling. I feel like I may be a target but if people are saying voting for someone who is ‘inactive’. If thats the reason i may be target then its a lie cuz ive been talking to my whole tribe. Im really nervous mostly because dont wanna let the hosts down for picking me to come back.

My sheer power won us immunity and I will not accept any other description. 86 fucking points yall i was NOT going back to tribal again. Alyssa Matt and I are collabbing on an idol search for the bridge but someone is apparently beating us to it? I'm kinda confused but also don't try to worry about idols that much. I feel like I'm in a good spot in this tribe between my trio and Bodhi, but he is admittedly hard to read lately. Mo is very sweet I'd love for him to stick around and Tobi has kinda dipped a little bit. All in all glad i'm immune for once, final 19 baby!!

Rhys has told me that the target is Mitch tonight. Im still kinda scared that itll be me but Jared also confirmed the Mitch vote. Unless they are both playing me hard (i hope not) then Mitch is suppose to be leaving. Going to try and talk to Bryce, Stephen, and Kori and hopefully its true. Dont want to leave this early.

So me and Jared chatted and thought hey let's make a chat for friends and just use it as such! I honestly would love it but also it's like beneficial for me if it can be an alliance. Three Kings is already nice but we needs some protection and even if it's just Loris and Jared, something is better than nothing!

SOOOO we are going to tribal! Before i get started on that, I want to talk about my relationships. I really like Jared and I tell him pretty much everything. He is my number 1 as of now. Stephen is my number 2, but he also tells me everything. Stephen decides to form an alliance between us 3, not knowing that Jared and I are closer than he is to either one of us. Jared and I made it to the end of the bridge only for someone else to beat us to it. How AGITATING. Me, being the social god that I am, got crucial information from Stephen that Kori wanted to create an alliance with me bryce himself and stephen so I should watch my DMS. Funny thing is, Kori never contacted me ONCE about an alliance; even when I saw him online throughout the day. Turns out, Jared REPLACED me in the alliance and now its a 5 person alliance with everyone except me n maynor (love that for us!!!). This got me thinking, RN maynor is the easy boot because of his activity, but what if we blindside the Kori/Bryce duo. Then I realized I don't have time today to cause chaos in the vote, so I'm gonna just let Maynor bite the bullet and hope we never return to tribal council. If we do, the vote will likely tie 3-3 the first go around and then maybe rocks? It'll be interesting for sure. Stephen and Jared both have been telling me everything in this alliance Kori created, so I am pretty sure they are both more loyal to the alliance with me. I'm kind of hoping we swap soon? I've been building solid relationships with Drew, Michael, Bodhi, Tobi, Mo, and others.

In a miraculous turn of events, I sat out of the challenge and my tribe is still immune! They tried hard to lose though.

Maynor is probably leaving, I'm sad but I haven't told him. If he hasn't been putting in the effort to connect with his tribe enough and they're calling him inactive, I'm not gonna be able to fix that in two hours, and if it gets out that I told him, it's only gonna fuck me up down the road. We're hosting a season really soon anyway that probably would have started casting while this season is going. I'll take a little distance from that to find my footing here.

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https://www.npr.org/2019/09/11/758080813/come-from-away-tiny-desk-concert

Also watch this. Hosts now, everyone else when confs come out

Ok karthik went. This is boring. Hope Kori and Jared are safe. Crazy stuff is probably happening this round but do I care? Maybe. I haven’t decided. As long as I’m safe I’m just here for the social game until merge.

Then it’ll be Big Move Bodhi >:).

I’m immune again tonight yeeehaw. I fully thought I’d fucked it and I got the lowest score on the challenge but also I was sick so I’m gonna blame it on that. This new feeling of being immune in celestial is kinda the best feeling so I’m a happy chloe rn and I love my tribe and I love this cast and I love one world and everything is good and nice

So i'm just. so. relieved. that we didnt have to go to tribal after last one... i think that vote has been the earliest vote i've ever received in an org... all bc of his nasty annoying bitter ass... not over previous beef which is super minor and I SHOULD BE THE ONE WHO'S BITTER OVER IT... but i wasn't and he was and he went from a winner to first boot so he can suck it. i just realized i haven't guessed for idols for the last 3 openings... love being in pst where i'm confused all the time... but anyway i heard from jared that maynor is leaving and he's one of the few people in the cast of whom i have zero connections with so i'm not too pressed about it tbh... even though i've heard he's super sweet but we haven't talked yet... i think... i'm honestly like a little terrified if we go to tribal again because i really don't feel like i have much pull in my tribe even though i've been trying hard socially its just been so flat... idek what more to do bc i already got a vote last tribal and if we go again i have no idea what's gonna happen UGH I HATE THIS!!! im so nervous all the time and i feel like im on the outs so i hope i can survive till swap so i can get something solid going on... this tribe is too straight for me

One hr left and still so nervous. People stopped talking a while ago. Im hoping it stays on Mitch. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. why I’m PAN-icking. Just need to trust the bonds i made with my tribe.

Okay I really think I'm making a comeback! I've kicked my socializing into another level after being so MIA. So far I've done well in the challenges which makes me an asset to the tribe. And I've been trying to talk with EVERYONE. I get a long really well with Zach, Michael, and Chloe on my tribe. And I love Drew but I know he always tries to make a 4 man alliance and he hasn't mentioned one to me so I think I may not be part of his plans, we'll see. On the other tribes I get on well with Matt and Jack and Tobi, I love those boys. I'm hoping to maybe make an alliance with everyone I mentioned, but I have to play it safe for now. Can't come in too hot.

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Maynor is voted out 6-1.